UnsedUced Unshaken

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UnsedUced Unshaken
ThePlaceofDignityinaYoungWoman’sChoices
RosaliedeRosset
Moody Publishers
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This book is dedicated to the hundreds of wonderful young women
I have met in my classroom for over forty years, women whose stories,
joys and sorrows, insights and questions have been the inspiration
for this book. I will always remember the gift of their presence
in my life and wish for them and all women the enduring knowledge
and experience of the love of Christ who took women seriously.
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cOnTenTs
AbouttheContributors
Introduction
1.MindingYourDignity:
“Thereismoretoyouthanyouknow.”
Rosalie de Rosset
2.FindingYourVoice:KnowingandBeingKnown
Pam MacRae
3.Longing:FromDisparitytoDesire
Linda Haines
4.“EverythingIsTheological”
Rosalie de Rosset
5.DistractedorDignified?:“SolidorGhostly”
Rosalie de Rosset
6.MindfulorMindless:ATheologyofPlay
Rosalie de Rosset
7.ReadingasaSpiritualExercise
Rosalie de Rosset
8.SexualDignity:NotbyAccident
Linda Haines
9.ATheologyofModesty:NakedyetUnashamed
Stacie Parlee-Johnson
10.IsItWorthIt?IsHeWorthy?
Rosalie de Rosset
Appendix1:ItShouldn’tBeEasy
Appendix2:“SoMuchfromSoLittle”
Notes
Resources
Acknowledgments
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chapTeR 1
MIndIng YOUR dIgnITY
“There is more to you than you know.”
BY ROsalIe de ROsseT
DIGNITY: Formal, grave or noble bearing, conduct
or speech; nobility or elevation of character.
The quality or condition of being worthy, esteemed
or honored; inherent nobility and worth;
poise and self-respect; formal reserve or
seriousness of manner appearance, or language.1
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She is clothed with strength and dignity. . . .
She speaks with wisdom, and faithful instruction is on her tongue.
PROV E R B S 3 1:2 5– 2 6 (ni v)
The dIgnIfIed WOMan
nthespringof2011,thenewestmovieversionofJane Eyre,
basedontheextraordinary1847novelbyCharlotteBrontë,
openedintheatersacrossthecountry.Thoughtherehavebeena
numberoffilmsbasedonthenovelthroughouttheyears,many
criticspraisedit.Inearliermovies,somecriticsnoted,thelead
charactershaveoftenbeentoogood-looking,thefemaleheroine
toomild-mannered,bothoftheserepresentationsnotinlinewith
Brontë’scharacterization.
Iwasstruckbythewordsoftwocritics. WritingforChicago’s
The Reader,J.R.Jonesnotes,“Castinghandsomestarsinthelead
roleshasbeenachroniccompromiseinadaptingJaneEyre,whose
heroineisrepeatedlydescribedasplainlookingandwhoseherois
downrightugly.”Moreimportant,however,hewritesaboutJane
thefollowingwords:“[InJane Eyre],Brontëstruckamightyblow
forhergenderwhenshecreatedhertitlecharacterandnarrator,an
orphanedgirlwhomaturesintoaformidablyself-possessedyoung
woman;Jane’smoralsensibilityissodetailed,sofullyrealizedthat
noreadercouldthinkheranylessapersonthanthemensurroundingher.”2 Inotherwords,hereisawomantobetakenseriously
becauseofhercharacter.
“Aformidablyself-possessedyoungwomanwithafullyreal-
I
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ized,detailedmoralsensibility.”That’sadescriptionthatdeserves
attention.Idecidedtolookateachprimarywordorphraseofthe
sentencetoremindmyselfexactlywhattheymean.It’ssoeasyto
missthebeautyoffinelanguage.Thedictionarydefinestwoofthe
wordsasfollows.Formidable:causinggreatrespect,evenfear;selfpossessed:someonewhohascontrolofherlongingsandattendant
feelingsandbehaviorespeciallywhenunderpressure.Fully realized,
detailed moral sensibilitymeansthatJanehasdevelopedandrefined
herconvictions,intellect,andlongingstoagreatcapacity.Sheis
awomanofcharacter,whatonewritercalls“theinnerformthat
makesanyoneoranythingwhatitis—whetheraperson,awineora
historicalrecord.”3
Although I have heard speakers and leaders
stress the importance of humility and honesty
for women, I have heard little or no admonition
to them to be spirited.
Jonesisnotaloneinhisassessment.A.O.Scott,writingforthe
New York Times,says,“JaneEyremaylackfortuneandgoodlooks—
sheisfamously‘smallandplain’aswellas‘poorandobscure’—but
astheheroineofanovel,shehaseverything.Fromtheveryfirst
pages...Janeembodiesvirtuesthatmightbeoff-puttingifthey
werenotsopersuasive....Sheisbrave,humble,spiritedandhonest,thekindofpersonreadersfallinlovewithandbelievethemselvestobeintheirinnermosthearts.”4Hereinasecularvenueisa
reviewerwhoatonceacknowledgesthatJaneisplainandpoorand
contendswithadmirationthatsheisayoungwomanwhohas
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“everything.”Theeverythingshehas,Scottsays,isthatsheis
“humble,spiritedandhonest.”Spiritedisaworddefinedas“fullof
orcharacterizedbyanimation,vigor,orcourage.”5Scottalsoadmits
thathervirtuesare“off-puttingiftheywerenotsopersuasive,”a
particularlyintriguingphrase.Howinterestingthatacontemporary,secularcritichasfoundaplainwomantohave“everything.”
And,Imightadd,howcomfortingandunusual.Thathethinksreaders“believethemselvestobe[Jane]intheirinnermosthearts”has
tobeamarkofwhatmanywomenandsomemenwanttobesince
therealityisthatfewpeopletodayarelikeJane.Evenfewerquickly
admiretheJanestheymeetinreallife,atellingirony.
Overaperiodofthirty-fiveyears,Ihavespokenatagreatmany
conferencesandseminarsforwomenofallages,butIhavenever
seenadvertisedorheardatalkentitled,“Howtobecomeaformidable,self-possessedwomanoffullyrealizedmoralsensibility.”
AlthoughIhaveheardspeakersandleadersstresstheimportanceof
humilityandhonestyforwomen,Ihaveheardlittleornoadmonitiontothemtobespirited,eventhoughthedefinitionoftheword
asnotedabovedescribesacommendable,evennecessaryattribute
forawomanofcharacter.
Ican’thelpstoppingonthelastreviewer’swordsthatJanehas
virtueswhichare“off-puttingiftheywerenotsopersuasive.”I
thinkwhathemeansisthatJaneknowshermind,aqualitythat
isalwaysstartling,eventhreatening.InsomeChristiancirclesthis
wouldbeseenastheproverbial“toostrong.”Janeisapersonof
greatconviction,whichsometimesmeanstellingahardtruthwhen
itneedstobesaid.Whatispersuasiveisthatfinally,JaneEyreis
virtuous(anotherconceptonehearslittleabout)anddignifiedin
thewaythatElizabethBennet,theheroineofPride and Prejudice,
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alsois,withthedifferencethatJane’schoicesareinfluencedby
God’sovertactioninherlife.Thefoundationalpremiseinthese
remarksisthatittakesspiritednessandconvictionandeventelling
ahardtruthtobetrulyvirtuousanddignified,avirtueanddignity
thatinvolvespurposefulattentiontoone’smind,one’ssoulandits
longings,andone’sspirit,allofwhichaffectone’sphysicallife.
ItseemspossibletosuggestthattheaverageChristiangirland
womanmaylearnmoreabouthowtodothisfromclassicnovelslike
thoseofJaneAustenandCharlotteBrontëthanfromaChristian
women’smagazine,aChristianromancenovel,aChristian-living
book,orfromsomewomen’sconferences.Icanhearsomereaders
saying—can’tyoufindsomethingmorecurrentthanthesebooks
toillustrateyourpointwithcontemporarywomen?Thedefinition
ofclassicisaworkthatlasts,thatisdatedonlyinsuperficialdetail
suchasparticularitiesofdressandspeech,butwhosethemesare
universalandtimeless.Thesenovelsarespecific,hard-hitting,do
notresorttopiousclichés,andtheyshowconsequences.Theyshow
insteadofjusttelling,oneofthefirstprinciplesanywritingor
speechteachertellsherstudents.Theyarealsoelegantlywritten.
And,whileprofoundlymoral(alltruthisGod’struth),thisnovelis
not“religious,”generallyorspecifically.
Belovedforyearsbywomenofeveryageandclass,Pride and
Prejudiceanditsvariousfilmtakesshowthecontrastbetweensilly
womenwhomakepoorchoicesandaheroinewho,whileflawed,is
neverthelessprincipled,modest,noble,self-disciplined,anddignified.Evennon-Christianwomenwhosemoralcode,philosophy
ofmodesty,anddatingbehavioraren’tremotelylikethoseofthe
novels’charactersappeartobeengaged.Onecanonlyspeculate,
then,thatwomenyearnfortheverydignityandrestraintthey
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eschewbyallowingthemselvestobeclonesoftheculture;theylong
toberespectedandcherishedevenwhentheychoosemenwhodo
neither;theywanttobelikeElizabethBennetandJaneEyreor
atleasttoendupbeinglovedastheseheroinesarebygoodmen.
Manyofthem,Christianandnon-Christianseem,however,unable
tonavigatethepathstosuchconclusions.
ElizabethBennet,whilehavingattractivefeatures,isnotsaidto
bebeautiful.Whatemergesfarmoreclearlyisherwit,herintelligence,herhonestyinspeakinghermind,herrefusaltoaccept
disrespectevenfromthemansheloves,herwillingnesstobealone
ratherthancompromisehersoul,andherindependenceexercised
withrestraint.Insummary,sheisthepictureofdignity.
Andthatiswhatseldomcomesuptoday,thecrucialrolethat
dignityneedstoplayinthedevelopmentofeverywomanwho
claimstoknowJesusChristaspersonalSavior.Thisiswhatneeds
toinformeveryfacetofawoman’slife,everychoiceshemakes.I’m
notevensuredignityisawordanyonehasthoughtaboutforalong
time.
WhaT dO YOU ThInk?
IhavewonderedthroughtheyearswhoChristianwomen’srole
modelsareandiftheyaregettingthepurposefulguidancethey
needfromolderwomen.Ihaveinformallyaskedgroupsofyoung
womenthisquestionyearlyinaclassIteach.Dependingonthe
year,threeorfournamescomeup.Oneortwoofthemisusually
thelatestwell-knownfemaleauthor/speakeroftheday;theothers
arehistoricalfigureslikeSusannaWesleyorAmyCarmichael.Or
theynameagrandmother,amother,orasister,somethingwhich
usuallyhasmoreconvictionandspecificity.ThewomenIaskseem
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tohaveahardtimethinkingofpeopleorarticulatingwhattheyare
modelingthemselvesafter.
IfoundinterestingwhatoneyoungwomanwroteaboutEmma
Watson,whoplaysHermioneGrangerintheHarryPotterfilm
series.“Whenayoungwomanhasgrownupwithmillionsofpeople
watchingherentireadolescentdevelopment,criticizingandcontrollingherphysicalappearance,andconfusingheridentitywith
thatofafictionalcharacter,thepressuresmakeconsistentdignity
seemimpossible.EmmaWatsonhaslivedthislifewithdignityand
self-respect,prizinghereducation,maintainingprivacy,avoiding
scandals,conductinginterviewsandpublicstatementswithgrace,
andencouragingotherwomentohaveself-respect.”6Whetheror
notyouagreewiththisassessment,ithitsmanyoftherightnotes.
So,Iaskyoutothinkaboutthequestion:Whatdoyouthinkof
whenyouheartheworddignity?Perhapsmorespecifically,whodo
youthinkof?Whatpersoncomestomind?Isitapopularsinger,
speaker,movieactress,orperhapsafriendorrelative?Andhowdo
youpicturedignity?Isitsomethingyouaspiretobe?Whatwould
youchangeaboutyourselftobedignified?
dIgnITY defIned
Dignity:theword,again,deservesacloselook.Thefirstorsecond
definitionsofthewordfromavarietyofdictionariesareasfollows:
“formal,graveornoblebearing,conductorspeech;nobilityorelevationofcharacter;thequalityorconditionofbeingworthy,esteemed
orhonored;inherentnobilityandworth;poiseandself-respect;
formalreserveorseriousnessofmannerappearance,orlanguage.”
Dignity,itisclear,isnotthesamethingaspoise;itisnotthe
samethingasbeauty,anditiscertainlynotthesamethingasstyle
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though,ofcourse,adignifiedpersonmayhaveanyoneorallof
thosequalities.Probablythecharacteristicmostconfusedwith
dignityispoise,definedas“tobebalancedorheldinequilibrium:
balance;freedomfromaffectationorembarrassment;composure.”7
Littleaboutthisdefinitionsuggestsmuchabouttheinternalvaluesofthepersonorabouthercharacter;instead,itdescribesan
outwardbehaviorthatmayormaynotbeinfluencedbyinternal
stabilityandintegrity.Manyofthecelebritiespresentedtousin
mediaoutletshavebeenpoised,althoughadmittedly,eventhatis
becomingathingofthepastasonelooksattheembarrassingand
ludicrousbehaviorofsomanywhoarehavingwhatAndyWarhol
calledtheirfifteenminutesoffame.
The truth of the matter is that most of us are in
process, no matter what our age.
Probablyoneofthemostfamousindividualsinmodernhistory
whoconsistentlyanddeservedlyhasbeencalledpoisedisPrincessDiana,whosedecisions,asshesuffereddisappointmentand
betrayal,weredeeplyflawedandledtoundignifiedchoicesandthe
tragedyofherlife.Interestinglyenough,MotherTeresa,whodied
withinafewdaysofPrincessDiana,wasprobablyseldomdescribed
aspoised,butalwaysseenasdignified,anissueofcharacter.In
recenthistory,LauraBushwasseenbyalmosteveryoneonboth
sidesofthepoliticalspectrumasdignifiedandgraceful.Thesewere
qualitiesthatemanatedfromherperson;whilenotbeautiful,she
wasoftenradiantwithoutbeingshowy;whenaskedhard,even
rudequestionsbyherhusband’senemies,sheansweredwithgra-
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ciousconviction,andsometimesasenseofdisarminghumor.She
handledthedutiesoftheWhiteHousewithoutbringingattention
toherself;shewasmodestandcontained.
Dignitycontainswithinit,asthedefinitionssuggest,notonly
noblebearing,afacetofappearance,butalsonoblecharacter which
comesfrominherent nobilityandworth.Thatmeansthepersonis
sureofhervaluesandbeliefs,sheissoberandthoughtfulabout
everypartofherlife.And,whatthisdiscussionistryingtodoisto
introducetoyoudignity’simportance,nottopresentyetanother
unreachableideal.Ifyoucanseethecrucialroleofaquality,itis
possibletobeginthejourneytowardthatqualitybecauseitpromisesalifeofgreaterintegrity.Thetruthofthematteristhatmostof
usareinprocess,nomatterwhatourage.Itiseasierforsomeofus
tolookdignifiedthanothers,buttotrulybedignifiedissomething
differentthathasanumberofcomponents.
JustasIhaveneverheardorseenadvertisedaseminarcalled
“Howtobecomeaformidable,self-possessedwomanoffullyrealizedmoralsensibility,”Ihavealsoneverseenoneentitled“How
toBeDignifiedinYourChoices,”thoughofcoursewisebooksand
innumerablearticleshavebeenwrittenandcountlesspresentations
madeaboutmakinggoodchoices.Oddlyenough,givenitsimportance,oneseldomhearstheworddignitydiscussedasavaluefor
humanbehaviorbynon-ChristiansorChristiansalthoughitmay
beusedtodescribesomeonefromtimetotime.Ifyoudoacursory
searchofarticlesondignity,besidesrandomreferencesinChristianblogshereandthere,you’llfindmostlypiecesaddressedto
themedicalandsocialservicescommunities,articlesabouthelping
people todiewithdignityandthedisenfranchisedtofinddignity
throughabetterlife.JohnPaulIIwroteaboutthedignityofwomen
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inoneofhisapostolicletters,arguingthatChristianity,morethan
“anyotherreligion”hasgivenwomenspecialdignityandurgesthe
churchtousetheminmoresignificantways.
Dignity is a strong, chosen, deliberate way of life,
the result of the totality of a person’s choices and
worldview.
WhendignityistalkedaboutamongChristianwomen,itmost
oftenhastodowiththepassagesaboutwives’behaviorin1Timothyandtheproverbial“quietandsubmissivespirit,”aphrasethat
isseldomcorrectlyscripturallyinterpretedandistoooftenequated
withpassivitycontributingtowomen’svoicelessness.Passivity,
wroteoneclinicalpsychologist,“isbornofanxiety;itisafearofusingourenergieslestweriskdisapprovalbyothersorriskfailurein
ourowneyes....Itisadisowningofournoblerparts—ourself-reliance,ourcourageunderfire,ourresolvetowin,ourdetermination
toinspireotherstogreaterheights.”8
dIgnITY lIved OUT
TobeaChristianwomanofdignity,awomanmustknowwhoshe
isbeforeGod;shemusthavedealtthoughtfullywithherpersonhoodandmadedecisionsaboutwhoshewillbe.Dignityisastrong,
chosen,deliberatewayoflife,theresultofthetotalityofaperson’s
choicesandworldview.WhichtakesusbacktoJaneEyre,whoisa
modelofthatkindofliving.Again,Ichosethisbook,notbecause
ofitsage,butbecauseofitsunusualcentralcharacter,onewhose
strengthandcharacterstandoutenduringly.
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JaneEyreenduresoppression,starvation,madness,condescension,andcoldness.Sheispresentedwithanumberofwomen
rolemodelswhomsheobserves,learnsfrom,anddepartsfrom
tobecomeherownperson.Oneofthosemodelsistooideal,too
compliant,thoughgood.Anotheristooangelic,andstillanother
sometimespassive-aggressive.Janeistoostrongtocompromise
herconvictions,andsheispassionate,qualitieswhichpresented
problemsforVictoriancriticsandperhapsforustodayattimes.
And,shedarestosuggestthatsinglenessispreferabletoaninappropriatemarriage.
Ifyouknowthestoryatall,JaneEyreistheaccountofayoung,
orphanedBritishgirlwhogoestolivewithanauntandcousins,all
ofwhomtreathercruelly.Sheisthensenttoaboardingschoolfor
poorgirls,whereasupposedlyChristiandirector,actuallyamonster,treatstheorphansabusivelyandtyrannically—manyofthem
dyingofcold-relatedillnessesandstarvation.AllofthishashistoricalprecedentinthetimesofthenovelandwaspartofCharlotte
Brontë’sandhersisters’experience.
Jane,whodoesnothavetheadvantageofgoodlooksorgood
fortune,survivesinspiritbecauseshechoosesthepathherlife
(spirit,mind,andbehavior)willtake,oftenagainstculturalmores
andcorruptauthoritativevoices,Shehasasenseofvoicefromthe
timesheisachildandtellsthetruthineverycircumstance,even
whenitcouldendangerherwell-being.Thoughshemustlearnto
refineherexpression,shewillnotsilencethevoiceofherintellectualneedsormutehermoralvoicebycompromisinghercharacter
withpoorrelationalorsexualchoicesforthesakeoffleetinghappiness.Sherisestoahigherstandard,aGod-givenunderstandingof
righteousness.
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So,firstofall,shetellsthetruth, arighteoustruth.Shetrusts
herinstincts—somethingwomenareoftenpronetoignore.She
doesn’tgoalongwiththeconventionalwisdomthatsays“keep
quiet,taketheabuse,answerquestionsthewayyou’reexpectedto.”
Shecallsherauntonhercruelbehavior.Sherefusestogivepious
answerstotheevilschooldirector,Mr.Brocklehurst,whenheasks
hersupposedly“spiritualquestions”abouttheBible.Listentothe
followingexchange—startingwithhisattempttointimidateher.
“Doyouknowwherethewickedgoafterdeath?”
“Theygotohell,”wasmyreadyandorthodoxanswer.
“Andwhatishell?Canyoutellmethat?”
“Apitfulloffire.”
“Andshouldyouliketofallintothatpit,andtobeburningthere
forever?”
“Nosir.”
“Whatmustyoudotoavoidit?”...
“Imustkeepingoodhealth,andnotdie.” [repliesJane]9
Thereadercan’thelpsmilingatthischildlikehonesty,butalso
thekindoftruthfulspiritthatwillbecome“astrongmoralsensibility.”That’sthekindofwomenIthinkJesuswantsustobe—that’s
thekindofbiologicalandspiritualdaughtersHewantsustoraise,
womenwhohavearighteousinstinctforrecognizing,naming,and
resistingabuseandfalsehood.
WhenJaneleavestheboardingschool,shegoestoThornfield,
anestatewhereshebecomesagovernessforayounggirl.Thejobof
governesswasonlyasgoodastheemployermadeit.Anythingcould
bedonetogovernesses,and,becauseofwhattheyendured,the
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proportionoftheminmentalasylumswassubstantial.WhileJane
isgratefulforthejob,sheisnotsubservient.Sheremarks:
Itisinvaintosayhumanbeingsoughttobesatisfiedwith
tranquility;theymusthaveaction;andtheywillmakeitifthey
cannotfindit....
Womenaresupposedtobeverycalmgenerally:butwomen
feeljustasmenfeel;theyneedexercisefortheirfaculties,and
afieldfortheireffortsasmuchastheirbrothersdo;theysuffer
fromtoorigidarestraint,tooabsoluteastagnation,precisely
asmenwouldsuffer....Itisthoughtlesstocondemnthem,or
laughatthem,iftheyseektodomoreorlearnmorethancustom
haspronouncednecessaryfortheirsex.10
Thesewordsstillringstrongtodayastheywereshockingthen,
160yearsago,buttheyshowanaccurateunderstandingofthe
needforwomen,ashumanbeings,tofulfilltheirgifts,tousetheir
creativity,tostretchbeyondprescribedactivitiesandpassivityto
truehumanity.Dignityrequiresthedevelopmentofprincipleand
theuseofintelligence.
WhenJanemeetsRochester,herboss,andthemanwhobecomesthegreatloveofherlife,sheneverthelesskeepshersenseof
voice,outrageousthenasitisnow.Atonepoint,whenhehasbeen
condescendingtoher,shesaystohimarticulatelytosaytheleast:
Doyouthink,becauseIampoor,obscure,plain,andlittle,Iam
soullessandheartless?—Youthinkwrong!—Ihaveasmuchsoul
asyou,—andfullasmuchheart!...Itismyspiritthataddresses
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yourspirit;justasifbothhadpassedthroughthegrave,andwe
stoodatGod’sfeet,equal,—asweare!11
Thisisnotawomanwhocanbeputdownorforcedintofalse
submissionbyhersocialpositionorthedominanceofthemanwho
lovesher.CharlotteBrontëwasseverelycriticizedforthiswork
becauseshedaredtoportrayawomanwhowouldnotsurrender
totheworstofherculture’sexpectations—wouldnotgiveupher
senseofselfandconviction,nomatterwhathersocialcaste.Thisis
awomanwhoputsahighvalueonherselfasGoddoesalso.Inher
owndefense,inthefaceofcriticswhoaccusedherofpresentingan
inappropriatemodelforyoungwomenandwhocalledhersensibility“masculine,”Brontëwrotethefollowingwordsintheprefaceto
thenovel’ssecondedition:“Conventionalityisnotmorality.Selfrighteousnessisnotreligion.Toattackthefirstisnottoassailthe
last.TopluckthemaskfromthefaceofthePharisee,isnottolift
animpioushandtotheCrownofThorns.”12Inotherwords,what
hasalwaysbeendoneculturallyisnotthesameasmoralprinciple.
Pointingoutthehypocrisyofwhatapersonorchurchhasdecidedis
appropriateisnotanattackonthepersonofJesusChrist.
As I say to my students, Jane and Rochester are
not just “in heat.”
Iwonderhowmanyyoungwomenreadingthisfeelthatsenseof
self,thatsenseofworthbeforeGod,aworththatextendstotheir
choicesandabilitytostandforwhattheyknowisright?Iwonder
howmanywomeningeneralcanmakethedistinctionbetween
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whattheirsubculturedictates(thechurch,thecirclestheyoccupy)
andtruemorality,betweentheself-righteousnessofpeerpressure
andtrueconviction,betweenpharisaicaldemandsandwhatChrist
wantsHisdaughterstobe?
NotonlyisJanetruthfulandthoughtful,butsheisalsomorally
resolute;shedoestherightthinginthefaceofgreattemptation,a
righteousbehaviorwhichisnotaccidentalbutbornofawhole life
filledwiththepracticeofcharacter,whatwewouldcallholiness.So,
whenJanemustleaveRochester,whomshehasinherneedforlove
madeagod(Iwillnotinsertaspoilerforthosewhohavenotread
thenovel)yetwithwhomshehasfallendeeplyinlove,sheruns
likeJosephranfromPotiphar’swife.Thisisnosmallact,asthelove
JaneandRochesterfeelforeachotheriscompletelydifferentfrom
theshallowrelationshipsusuallydrawninformulaicChristianor
secularromancenovelsandeveninsomepersonalaccounts.
InmuchthesamewaythatDarcyandElizabethareattractedto
eachotherinPride and Prejudice,JaneandRochesteraredrawnto
eachotherbecauseeachfindstheothersointeresting.Eachadmires
theother’sstrengthandthoughtfulness(bythisImeangiving
thoughtto)asshowninbehaviorandconversation.Eachchallenges
theotherinthebestsenseoftheword.Thisisaconnectionofthe
mindswhichleadstoadeeper,moreenduringpassionthanthat
sparkedbyalesslayeredattraction.AsIsaytomystudents,Jane
andRochesterarenotjust“inheat.”So,Jane’srefusingtosinis
theresultofhermoralresolve,hersenseofidentitybeforeGod,
herchoiceofwhatisrightoverwhattheheartwants.Herchoiceis
“spirited.”Thisistherefusaltosurrendertodesperationorfearof
beingalone;itshowsnobilityofcharacteranddignifiedliving.
ListentotheprocessJanegoesthroughinthemidstofloss,of
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homelessness,ofnothingtoquietherterrorbutGodandintheface
ofheroverpoweringlove,attraction,andcompassionforRochester.
Firstofall,sheasksherselfthequestionanywomanwhohasloved
canunderstand.Thinkofatimewhenyouhavebeendatingaman
whohasapornographyproblem,whoisnottreatingyouwell,or
whoisn’tgoodforyouspiritually,emotionally,orphysically.Jane
feelstornbyherbeloved’sdesolation—shewantsinourvernacular
“tobethereforhim.”Shesays,“Feeling...clamouredwildly.‘Oh,
comply!’itsaid....‘Soothehim;savehim;lovehim;tellhimyou
lovehimandwillbehis.Whointheworldcaresforyou?orwho
willbeinjuredbywhatyoudo?’”Inthewakeofherpity,herhabit
ofthinkingrationallyandtheologicallyandherself-respectkick
in.“Stillindomitablewasthereply—‘Icareformyself.Themore
solitary,themorefriendless,themoreunsustainedIam,themore
Iwillrespectmyself.IwillkeepthelawgivenbyGod;sanctionedby
man.’”13Indomitableisanotherofthosewordsthatdeservesacloser
look.Itmeans“incapableofbeingovercome,subdued,orvanquished.”14Here,ofcourse,thesenseofitisthateventhegreatest
passion,thedeepesthumanlongingcannotovercomeJaneinthe
faceoftruth,ofwhatsheknowstoberight.
Finally,inoneofthemorepowerfultheologicalstatementsJane
Eyremakes,sheteachesherreadersthefoundationofhowoneis
tolivewhenshesayswithdesperatedetermination,“Iwillholdto
theprinciplesreceivedbymewhenIwassane,andnotmad—asI
amnow.Lawsandprinciplesarenotforthetimeswhenthereisno
temptation....Theyhaveaworth—soIhavealwaysbelieved;and
ifIcannotbelieveitnow,itisbecauseIaminsane—quiteinsane:
withmyveinsrunningfire,andmyheartbeatingfasterthanIcan
countitsthrobs.”15Torephrase,God’slawsareeasilykeptwhenone
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isnotenduringtemptation.Howcommittedwearetowhatwesay
webelieveistestedwhenweare“insane,”literallyoutofourminds
withtemptation,whenitishardtoremembertruth.
dIgnITY and MeMORY
Approximatelytwohundredusesofthewordrememberappearin
theOldandNewTestaments,manyofthemreminderstorecallthe
historicaleventsthroughwhichthepatriarchspassedsothattheir
descendantsmightbegivenfaith.Readersareurgedtoremember
howGodledHischildrenandtheirenslavementanddeliverance,
toconsiderthegenerationslongago.Theyareevenurgedtoask
theirfathersforthathistory.ReadersarecalledupontoextolGod’s
wordsandwonders,toremembertheancientlawsandfindcomfort
inthem.Thefailuretoremembermarkssomeofthegreatdefeatsof
thechildrenofIsrael.SometimesmymotherusedtosaytomeasI
wentoutwithmyfriends,“Rememberwhoyouareandwhomyou
belongto.”DignitydemandsthatwerememberthatwearedaughtersofGod,thatwebelongtoHimatalltimes,butparticularly
whenasJanesays,weare“insane.”
If your faith matters, your mind matters.
WhathelpsJaneintemptationandlossisbothherabilityto
thinkcriticallyinamomentofpassionandhertheology—her
objectivebeliefinaGodoftruth,herinsistenceuponrememberingtruth.Sheunderstandsthatshemustbehavewithrighteousnessanddignityinspiteofwhatshefeels.Shemustliveaboveher
emotionsaspowerfulastheymaybe;shemustnotrationalizeher
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and
UnsedUced Unshaken
choices,choiceswhichmakeallthedifferenceinherlife,thedifferencebetweenwastingtimeinsinandtrustingGodforherhappiness.And,itmakesheramodeltoothers,proofthatonecanlive
wiselyandwell.
Ifyourfaithmatters,yourmindmatters.Ifyourmindmatters,
itisimportantwhatyoudowithit,theologicallyandintellectually.
Youcannotseparateyourspirituallifefromthelifeofthemind.
Youcan’tbefullyhumanwithoutusingwiselyallthefacultiesGod
hasgivenyou.Theyareintertwined;onewillnotthrivewithoutthe
other.Inneglectingoneortheother,youwillliveasmall,shriveled
existence.Janemakestherightdecisionsbecauseherintellectual
reasoningabilityandtheologicalunderstandingaresound,protectingherfrommoralfailure.
Theculturehasencouragedsomuchself-focusandindulgence
thatsometimesIwonderifwehaven’ttoldourselveswecan’tbe
heroinesintheold-timetradition.Beingaheroinemeansbeing
counterculturalwherecultureorsubcultureiswrongheaded.Everywherewelook,peoplearetellingstoriesofrecoveryfromsin;and,
ofcourse,God’sgraceismarvelousbeyondwords.However,itis
possibletochoosewell,tospendlesstimerecoveringandmoretime
deepeningourwalkwithGod.
InJ.R.R.Tolkien’sThe Hobbit,themagicianGandalftellsthereluctantandunlikelyheroBilboBaggins,“Thereismoretoyouthan
youknow,”16moreinthisinstancethandoingwhathehasalways
done.ThewisemagicianknowsthatBilbohasbecomeaddictedto
thatcozyhobbithole;helikeseatinganddrinkingwell,helikes
beingcomfortable.ButGandalfknowsthatBilbohastwosidesto
hisnature,that“withinthehobbit’sveinscoursedbloodnotonly
fromthesedentaryBagginssideofthefamilybutalsofromthe
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swashbucklingTookside.”17Bilbohasgottenusedtothesedentary
side,andafterall,he’snotdoinganythingwrong;he’sjustanice,
evengenerous,placidhobbitwhoknowshowtohaveagoodtime,
whofitsintohiscommunity.But,somethingtranscendentiscalling
toBilbo—tellinghimthereismoretolifethanthis,thatthereare
adventurestobehadonaheroicscale,thatthereisgoodandevilin
thisworld,andhehastobepartoffightingthewrongs.Bilbohasa
choiceatthispoint,tocontinuetoobservethestatusquoortohave
anadventurewhichwillmakehimahero.Itisadifferencebetween
thestatusquoasspiritualdeath,andthetranscendentadventure
whichislife.It’sachoiceeachoneofyouisbeingcalledtomake.
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and
UnsedUced Unshaken
dIscUssIOn QUesTIOns
1. Whatisyourconceptofdignity?Howhasitchangedafterreadingthischapter?
2. Whodoyoufinddignifiedandwhy?Bespecific.
3. HowdoyouseedignityasacomponentofChristianity?
4. Formabookclubandreadoneorbothofthenovelsmentioned
inthischapterwithaviewtoformingaphilosophyofdignified
womanhood.
sUggesTed ReadIng
• FICTION:Jane EyrebyCharlotteBrontëorPride and Prejudice
byJaneAusten.Chooseunabridgededitions.
• N
ONFICTION:Biographies/autobiographiesofwomeninmissionarywork;womeninChristianity.(SeeBiographical Dictionary of Christian Missions,editedbyGeraldH.Anderson.)
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