Shared 101 KNOWLEDGE IS POWER Auburn

Loree Payne
Head Women’s Basketball Coach
D1 player at University of Washington (1999-2003)
DII assistant coach at Northwest Nazarene University (2003-2004)
DI assistant coach at University of Portland (2004-2007)
DI assistant coach at University of Washington (2007-2010)
DIII head coach at University of Puget Sound (2010-present)
Crucial Conversation is:
A discussion between two or more people where….
• Stakes are high
• Opinions vary
• Emotions run strong
3 Ways of handling crucial conversations:
1. Avoid them.
2. Face them and handle them poorly.
3. Face them and handle them well.
SO….how can referees and coaches be better at
crucial conversations during these emotional,
intense and high stakes situations?
PREPARATION
“By Failing to Prepare, You are Preparing to Fail” – Benjamin Franklin
• PREGAME: Body Language. Confidence not cockiness. Do you look the part?
• Protect your image. Credibility. Be professional.
• Always be aware of your surroundings
• INTRODUCTION:
• Strong handshake
• Smile
• Use your name – unless we say your name first. (we may not know
you/remember you). Speak clearly.
• Bonus: knowing our names/assistants
BE OPEN MINDED
“You Are Confined Only By The Walls You Build Yourself” – Andrew Murphy
• Come in prepared, but with an open mind:
• Previous knowledge suggesting coach or player tendencies (foul, travel, etc.)
Important and expected preparation….but….
• We actually work with our players on their weaknesses, we try to improve
as coaches as well
• It may be a specific game plan/scout
• Don’t hold grudges– benefit of the doubt
• Coaches are guilty of this too
• Each day is a new day and each game is a new game
BE APPROACHABLE
“You Catch More Bees With Honey”
• Be Approachable Early
• Don’t wait for the game to become intense, coaches get irritated
• Display Your Personality
• Show emotion, not blank stare
• Be Aware of Body Language and Facial Expressions
• Shrugs, raised eyebrows, rolling of the eyes comes across as disrespectful
• Blow Your Whistle With Confidence
THE CONSISTENCY FACTOR
“Trust is Built With Consistency” – Lincoln Chafee
• Be Consistent
• Both ends
• Match calls within the crew
• Have a feel for the game
IF YOU CAN’T EXPLAIN IT DON’T CALL IT
“The single biggest problem in communication is the illusion that it
has taken place” – George Bernard Shaw
• Give Us Specific Feedback – Why?
• Hands on, stepping into shooter, etc. Not “she travelled”
• Don’t Give Pertinent Information to Asst. Coaches or Players to “tell us”
• Keep us informed – report back
• When we ask a questions, we would like an answer…
• We may not “like” the answer, but we need one
KNOW WHEN TO STOP TALKING
“Wise men speak because they have something to say; fools because they
have to say something.” - Plato
• Communication is so important, but don’t talk to just talk
• Can dig yourself a hole
• Don’t bring up a play that happened 5 possessions ago, unless we ask!
• Don’t get in an argument with us – our careers are about winning, so sometimes
we won’t stop until we feel like we have won 
• Don’t bait us – stop signs
DON’T BIG TIME
“Bigger Isn’t Better, Better is Better” – Mimi Griffin
• Prepare and carry yourself like it is your top conference / league
• Understand the conference/level you work in
• Physicality and athleticism of players between divisions/levels/conferences
• Every call matters regardless of the time of the game
• Know that coaching is our full time job, it is our livelihood
• Dramatization – standard calls vs times you need to sell it!
• It’s not about you
HANDLE YOUR BUSINESS
“If You Permit It, You Promote It”
• Don’t let coaches or players be disrespectful
• If you warn a player, coach, the next time follow through
• Empty threats – don’t warn us multiple times
• If we see the other coach getting away with acting crazy,
we just might try it 
DON’T BE SO SENSITIVE
"If they don’t know you personally, don’t take it personal.“— Khleo Thoma
• Don’t be defensive or make excuses
• Have thick skin
• It’s not personal – Coaches sincerely want feedback on how to adjust to how
you're seeing things
• Don’t be that good - feel for the game
• It’s okay to admit you are wrong
• Fine line - Don’t do it too often or you lose credibility
• “I hear you”…“You make a good point”… not consistently saying “I missed
that”
WE JUST WANT TO BE HEARD
“Awareness is the greatest agent for change.” – Eckhart Tolle
• Multi-tasking skills – listening while officiating the play
• Acknowledge us and just LISTEN first
• Defusing vs Escalating
• Ignoring us adds fuel to intensity and you will probably have to
make a decision
CONSISTENCY, COMMUNCATION, AND RESPECT
• We are all human
• You don’t ref a perfect game and we don’t coach one
• Competitive sports put us in positions where
• Stakes are high
• Opinions vary
• Emotions run strong
• We must be able to effectively handle these conversations
• Because if we don’t our interactions will continue
sounding something like this…..
QUESTIONS??