1001 - University of Surrey Students` Union
Issue no: 1001
Life after the
By Reuben Thompson
The last few weeks have not
exactly been the easiest for the
accommodation office. Equally,
many people feel that certain
aspects of the sewage related
problems in Guildford and Stag Hill
Courts were not dealt with particularly efficiently or generally that
For those of you who have been
living on Mars (or Hazel Farm) for
the last few weeks, the first problem was in Stag Hill 29 where
sewage back flowed into rooms in
the lower part of the building. The
residents were moved permanently to University Court. Next,
Clandon in Guildford Court experienced similar but allegedly unrelated problems and its residents were
moved out to Uni court and Hazel
Farm. Many were unhappy with
this and were subsequently moved
to the now clean Stag Hill block,
after deciding that they wanted to
remain living together as a group.
Finally, last Saturday evening, a
group of students in Friary, higher
up Guildford Court, noticed a back
flow problem in two bedroom sinks
which was reported but ignored.
Later on, the problem worsened
and moved to the kitchen sink and
a plumber was despatched who
dealt with the problem before it
became too serious.
With all this sewage reappearing,
it was time for some serious
answers, so barefacts’ intrepid
team braved the rain to find
accommodation boss, Richard
Paxton. First of all, he was asked
what happened at the weekend?
“There was a small, localised problem, local to Friary. We have no
idea what caused it.” But was this
connected to any of the previous
sewage problems? “It is an isolated problem— we don’t know.”
Realistically, however, the question that everyone, affected and
unaffected, wants answered is
whether the sewage problem was
now sorted, especially considering
the continuing sewage problems in
Guildford as a whole. When I
posed this to Paxton, he was far
from equivocal, saying “Removing
plastic bags proved difficult. We
have taken all possible steps to
remove the drain problem, but it
would be foolish to give guarantees.” When pushed on whether
assessment of sewage risk to all
university buildings had been
made, he had to answer that no
such steps had been taken by
Estates and Buildings who hold
responsibility for such things.
Another criticism that was made
was that only one member of staff
was on call at the time and that
she knew very little about on-campus accommodation, leading to
delays. Paxton sought to reassure
students that “ordinarily there is a
whole team on call, including
myself, it was exceptionally unusual.” But have those students affected been compensated for their
trouble? “Students have received
a letter. We feel that issue has now
been resolved, with the Union’s
help. Some students have
received some small compensation for material loss, but its not our
business to compensate people
for trouble or the trauma of a
In the accommodation
office’s favour, it should be noted
that all sewage affected students
have now been offered at least
one week’s rent as compensation,
except for those who moved to
University Court, who gain from
the improvement in room at the
Finally, what have we learnt from
the past few weekends? “Not that
much since it was an unusual
problem. I have been here eleven
years and I have only seen two
other sewage problems of this
magnitude; one of those was in
Stag Hill Reception, so it didn’t
even affect students directly.” But if
another problem arises, can you
rehouse students? “Our aim in that
situation is to minimise disruption
to students. If there is a flood in
Uni Court this evening, affecting a
few rooms, we know we can
rehouse the people.”
Richard Paxton, Accommodation Office
One of the many incidents last week
The sabbatical candidates running for election this year (minus Ben Mac who just wanted to be in it, again)
The nominations are in for
his year Sabbatical elections
and what a year it is. This year
we have sixteen candidates
running for the positions with
only one position uncontested.
If you want to find out more on
why they want to becoem a
sabbatical then turn to the
election special pages, p7-19.
This is not the only place you
can see what they have to say
but you also have a chance to
ask them your own questions
at HUSTINGS in week 5.
There will be two nights for the
candidates and are as follows;
News 1-2 n Features 3-6, n Election Special 7-19
Monday 12th Feb
VP Sports, VP Education &
Thursday 15th Feb
VP Societies & Culture, VP
Communications & Marketing
Also this year we have the
NUS referendum, where you
have the decision on whether
or not USSU re-affliates to
NUS next year.
n Lifestyle 26 n
Ellen van Keulen
Hello, and welcome to the 1001th issue of barefacts
and see - I didn’t change the name!
Anyway, first things first. I would like to apologise to
all the people who stayed around until 5pm last
Thursday to receive barefacts only to find that it still
hadn’t arrived. This was due to the courier being
delayed in traffic on route by the accident on the the
M25. SO, by sods law our 1000th issue was a tad late
- 7.02pm to be precise.
I think you would all agree that the 1000th issue was
pretty damn good so thanks again to all the writers
and the team.
As you maybe aware the sabbatical elections have
started this week so have a read of the candidate’s
manifestos and pop along to hustings next week to
see what they really have to say. Of course, barefacts
will be reporting on the event so look out for the
weekly updates on news, gossip and interviews with
the candidates and election officers.
of a certain 2 editors of the paper
last week relating
to a comment they
made. They have
now been severely
coummunity service for the Union i.e. tidying my
office and giving
out flyers over the
Good luck to all the
in the elections
and remember to
vote in week 6 for
who you want to
see in the sabb
roles next year.
Oh, on another note I do apologise for the behaviour
The Sports lot for their articles
and that’s about that
Union House, University Of Surrey
Guildford, Surrey, GU2 7XH
Tel: 01483 879275
Fax: 01483 534749
email: [email protected]
Deadline for Publication
preferably on disk / email in Word 6.0 Format,
Text in Arial, size 9 font
barefacts is an editorially independent newspaper, published by the University of Surrey Students' Union Communications Office.
The views expressed within the paper are those of individual authors, and do not necessarily
represent the views of the Editor, the Editorial Board, the University of Surrey Students' Union
or the University of Surrey.
This publication may not be reproduced in whole or in part, stored in any form, copied or distributed, without the express permission
of the publisher.
All submissions must include the author's name and Union or Staff Number. Submission is no guarantee of publication.
Anonymous and Pseudonymous articles will not be published.
barefacts reserves the right to edit submissions.
East End Offset (TU), Bow, London, E3 3LT
© USSU Communications Office 2000
...News In Brief...News In Brief...News
Guildford Crime Crackdown
Surrey police are cracking down on crime in
Guildford by threatening to ban yobs from the town.
Over 300 letters were sent out this week by police, to
those who have committed violent or public disorder
offences. The messages warmed that they were in
danger of being served an Anti-Social Behaviour
ABSO’s may be taken out on persistent offenders to
curb their actions. It can forbid someone from drinking
in public, from entering licensed premises, or even
from being in the centre of Guildford altogether.
The 1998 Crime and Disorder Act created the
ABSO. Disobeying their directions can result in a
heavy prison sentence. Violent crime rose by 4% in
Guildford last year and police felt compelled to act. A
total of 1,006 violent offences were reported in the
local division between April and December 2000.
Six notorious villains were given ABSO’s last year.
One man had been
arrested 103 times since
1993 for alcohol, violence
December he has been
Guildford between 20:00
and 6:00 for two years.
Another person has not
committed any further
offences, while three of
the six are now behind
bars for more serious
crimes. The last person
is now attending a rehabilitation centre.
Guildford’s MP, Nick St
Aubyn, supported the
principle of ASBOs, but
said that 5-year jail terms
Nick St. Aubyn MP
for breaking the rules
was “going over the top”.
Speeding Catches Up With Police Drive r
The chauffeur of Surrey Police’s Chief Constable will
be prosecuted for speeding after all. As BF reported
last week, the driver was caught travelling 28mph over
the limit on the A3 through Guildford. Chief Denis
O’Connor was asleep in the back seat as traffic patrol
officers quickly waved the car on when they stopped
Zoe Stow, chair of RoadPeace is to bring a private
prosecution against the civilian driver, Terry Pinch.
The charity for victims of road accidents said that letting Pinch get away with the offence was “a slap in the
face for people who have been campaigning for better
enforcement.” She said, “If an ordinary driver was
doing that speed the driver would have been prosecuted. It is an appalling example for other drivers and
definitely unfair to people who lose their licence or get
“Someone who is stopped will feel great resentment
when others are able to break the law with impunity. It
may be a bit harsh on the driver concerned, but someone has to step in and say that we cannot accept this
Tory counsellor Terry Dicks highlighted the issue at
last weeks Surrey County Council meeting. Hearing
the latest news he said, “I think this action is quite
right. The driver should be prosecuted - but it is the
responsibility of the chief constable. He says he has
taken full responsibility, but what does that mean? He
should not have been asleep if he could not trust the
driver not to go over the speed limit.” He added: “He
should say ‘it’s a fair cop’ - why doesn’t he offer to pay
£1,000 to charity.”
Surrey Police would not comment on the case.
Free Condoms from Brazil & Nightline
Nightline proudly re-launched its free condom service this week. The student run welfare service has just
received a new supply of contraceptives and can now
advertise its emergency service with confidence. A
spokesperson said: “We give out two condoms per
caller to try and prevent unwanted pregnancies as well
as the spread of sexually transmitted diseases.” He
added “We’ve always offered this service but the new
delivery means we now have enough to last the year,
as long as campus doesn’t get too randy on
Valentines Day at least!”
Nightline is located behind Wey House in Surrey
Court and is funded by the Students’ Union as an
amenity. Susie Westall the Education and Welfare
Sabbatical used her budget to help Nightline pay £200
for over 300 condoms.
Meanwhile in Brazil authorities are planning to give
away 20 million condoms for free. A spokesman said
that the coming week-long, carnival season is “a time
of year when happiness and alcohol mix and people
sometimes forget about protection,”
In the Brazils continuing battle against AIDS the
Health Ministry will also hand out 10 million condom
shaped masks, so that “condoms are on people’s
minds.” The masks will also be useful as cardboard
fans to help stave off the steamy summer heat.
4.02 million condoms will be distributed in Sao
Paulo, easily Brazil’s largest state. Rio de Janeiro will
get 3.13 million. The South American country has
191,000 cases of HIV registered, one of the highest in
the world. However as a percentage of the population
this is very low. HIV affects 0.6% of Brazilian adults,
compared with 25% in South Africa.
“We want to keep expanding the fight against AIDS
and keep the numbers down,” the spokesman said.
News & Competitions
Offsite Rent Scheme
Hurray it’s competition time again. Just a short one from me this week, lack of space and all that. So I’ll cut
down on my usual vacuous twaddle by getting straight on with last week’s winners.
Congratulations to Emma Owen who walks away with £75 Topman vouchers and to Ben Sidders and
Simon Blackwell who picked up £25. They were correct in noticing that week 2 was Rag Week. Well done
also to VIP passes winner Tom Coburn who noticed that last week’s issue was 1000th (which is something
our Sport’s ed Chops failed to notice). The Boy George tickets went to Rob Parrott, who told us that the DJ
was the lead singer of Culture Club. Finally the FNO tickets went to Simon Blackwell who decided that FNO
should stand for Fundamentally Nothing Original (played by the DJ).
All entries for this week’s competitions to be in by 6pm Monday 12th February to [email protected]
Win Posters & T-Shirt
Don’t know why but I seem to have aquired loads of posters recently: Hannibal, Castaway, Smirnoff. So do
you fancy winning all of them AND a Studentwheels.com t-shirt. Thought you might, well here is your chance:
How many sabbatical positions are up for election in week 7?
The Off-Site rent scheme
has now distributed
almost £100,000.00 of
the University’s Hardship
2000/01. This money has
been paid to all eligible
students with rents of
£55.00 and above, who
applied to the scheme
and provided suitable evidence
Please note that, as the
fund is now exhausted,
no further applications for
payments from the OffSite rent scheme can be
accepted. Also, I regret
that it will not be possible
to make any payment to
those students who have
already applied to the
scheme but whose rent
was less than the cut off
level of £55.00 per week.
Should you be in severe
financial hardship you
Information Service who
can be contacted at their
offices in Wey House,
Surrey Court or by phone
ex 9261 or e-mail
Win FNO tickets
Six guest list tickets to FNO on Friday 16th February could be yours if you complete this phrase in the most
apt witty and original way possible. Good luck!
I should be so lucky………
All answers given will remain confidential
USSU’S VERY OWN ‘BLIND DATE’!!
Valentine’s day will shortly be upon us once again, great
if you have someone to share the romance with…..a bit
of a non-event if you don’t. Well no need to despair if you
haven’t got a meal booked at that little Italian restaurant,
or the trip to Paris isn’t quite happening this year, your
caring student’s Union is playing cupid by hosting its very
own version of that tv classic ‘Blind Date’ and it’s guaranteed to be a lorra, lorra fun (sorry, couldn’t resist). We are
after volunteers to take part, not only could they win a fantastic date, they may also meet the girl/boy of their
dreams. Bare Facts will meet up with the couples after
their dates to find out how they got on………
Entry is open to all (though the lack of a girl/boyfriend is
kind of an essential), application forms can be obtained
from the main union reception. So, come on and take part
in what definitely promises to be a great night, and who
knows who you may meet……
Year of study:
Please list any hobbies/interests you have:
What would your ideal 'blind date' match be like?
In 10-20 words convince us why we should pick you
Do you have a 'party piece'/ hidden talent? (is so what is it?)
Would you prefer to ask or answer the questions on the
Your Emails & Greensoc
From: Name supplied
Subject: Hazel Farm Bus
From: Name supplied
Subject: Hazel Farm Bus
I would again like to take issue with the views of Alex Stanway.
His proposal for primary education is particularly laughable, he states
that it "could be funded by parents, charitable organisations and anyone else who chooses to fund it". What if parents can't afford the education, maybe if they are seperated or have more than one child, do
we really want to keep education for those that can afford it due to
their fortunate circumstances? Charities are already stretched and
putting the extra burden of the nation's education is obviously not a
very good idea. The final comment shows to me the true depth of
Alex's perception and thought, he might as well say that Britain could
afford to build a tunnel to America if someone just wanted to pay for
it. He also seems to believe that in the face of adversity solutions will
just materialise out of nowhere. If this were really true and innovative
solutions came about due to need the world would be in a much better state than it is. Innovation needs creative people and they don't
just grow on trees.
Alex refers to the "recent dot.com explosion" but fails to remember
that for every successful company there are a multitude of failed
ones. He then uses this example to try and prove how the government doesn't operate as a business. Ooh, how profound. My goldfish doesn't act like a duck either Alex.
Taxation is not asking for a contribution, it is the price you pay for the
amenities a society grants you. If you don't like it you can move
somewhere with no health service, pension, state education etc. If
Last Sunday I waited for the Hazel
Farm bus at 5:10, and waited and waited... By 5:40 there was still no bus and
the pouring rain had made everyone
both very cold and very wet (there was
insufficient room in the shelter for the
20+ of us). A couple of union minibuses
were sent when some people alerted
them to the situation. Full credit to
those driving the minibuses but the situation should never have happened in
the first place. Perhaps the union and
university services should review their
dealings with a company who clearly do
not care about their customers.
Please send all responses to emails
to barefacts not the author.
If you would like to write a letter then
please send them to
you do like it here accept that roads do not repair themselves and
stop moaning, and before you tell me Alex that roads should be tolled
there is only so far you can take it before everything is run by someone else and you can't find who's accountable, it is more convenient
to have things run by a central body.
Another of Alex's moot points: if there were no one to teach us
*shock* we could not be educated. No shit.
Just to clear something up, we do not have the right to free speech,
we do not have the right to private property and WE DO NOT HAVE
THE RIGHT TO DO AS WE PLEASE. I believe each of these are self
Alex asks "Can I sell my right to education?". No, but can he sell his
"right" to freedom of speech, freedom from coercion, to own property? No, unless one of those enterprising dot.com companies are now
dealing in "rights".
His final rant is that education is not a right because it is handed down
from above. Rights are handed down from above you fool, I know
that I wasn't born with the Convention of Human Rights tattooed
across my arse. Where do you think it came from? European
Parliament sounds pretty like from above to me!
If anyone is interested the European Convention on Human Rights
can be found at this URL: http://www.hri.org/docs/ECHR50.html
From: Name supplied
Subject: Hazel Farm Bus
I am the owner/driver of the car you had in barefacts Issue 18 Jan. Luckily I was not seriously injured. I have heard today that a more serious car accident happened last week when
a car was driven into one of those bollards and the car was a right off. Also, the brother of one of the people in my department also drove into a University bollard the day after me
and has whiplash.
That is 3 accidents I know about with the bollards. I wonder how many more there have been? Are these going to be taken out before someone is severly injured?
Perhaps some research on this might not go amiss.
by Emma Van-Huysse
Ethics & Environmental Officer
Everyone knows the English love to talk
about the weather – or more accurately,
complain about the weather! But British
windy days could be a very important asset
to the country’s development in terms of
energy resources. Britain has the greatest
wind resource potential in Europe, and could
realistically generate up to three times as
much electricity as we currently use. On a
global scale, the market for wind turbines
has been growing dramatically, and the
overall generating capacity from wind power
rose by 40% last year to reach a total of
almost 14,000 MW.
Improved technology means that modern
wind turbines are more robust, more efficient and make negligible noise, contrary to
common belief. The cost of wind power now
matches that produced by new gas- and
coal-fired power stations. With a blade span
of over 70 metres they are hardly invisible,
but just one of these can generate 1-2 MW enough electricity to supply 750-1,500
homes. Germany, Spain and Denmark have
been leading the way for Europe, and so far
England has been lagging shamefully
The inhibiting factor is planning permission, which is often refused by local
Councils. However, research has shown
that people living near the few existing wind
farms have very positive feelings towards
them. Advantages of wind energy, apart
from the obvious reduction of pollution from
burning fossil fuels, are that is it totally
renewable and will never run out, maintenance costs are low, the surrounding land
can still be used for animal grazing and crop
growth, there is no risk of nuclear accidents
or other problems associated with nuclear
power generation such as disposal of waste
etc., and by comparison, the aesthetic of a
wind farm is far more elegant and appealing
than a huge grey factory with belching chimneys and smoke stacks!
The Government now requires that all
electricity companies generate at least 10%
of their electricity from renewable sources
by 2010, and according to the British Wind
Energy Association, a quarter of this could
be from wind power. Investment in alternative energy sources has increased recently
due to rebates from the Climate Change
Levy, and £50 million from the National
Lottery New Opportunities Fund. In addition,
public support helps fund renewable energy
– for a slightly higher tariff, many electricity
suppliers offer the consumer the option to
buy ‘green power’.
A few wind farms already exist in England
– one in Cornwall for instance, and Harlock
Hill in Cumbria. Last October the first offshore wind farm was completed at Blyth in
Northumberland, providing electricity for
3,000 households. The Department of Trade
and Industry has identified there is huge
commercial potential here which the UK’s
major wind companies are keenly pursuing.
Siting turbines in the oceans could also
have a positive impact on fish populations
by forcing stricter control onto trawlers and
In the meantime, in order to encourage further development of wind power, there are a
number of steps you can take.
1 Write to Rt. Hon Stephen Byers MP
(Energy Secretary) who announced the
Renewable Obligation requiring the minimum of 10% renewable energy by 2010.
Express your support for this, but encourage
him to increase this figure to 20% (perfectly
feasible) in order to help combat climate
change. The draft regulations are due to
appear in March, so this needs to be done
before 28th February (Secretary of State,
Department of Trade and Industry, 1 Victoria
2 Use banks
that invest in
renewable electricity sources,
such as Triodos
(call 0500 008
720 for details).
3 Write to the
them to support
schemes rather than continuing to fund fossil fuel development.
4 If you live off campus, switch to a supplier that supports renewable energy generation. Unit[e] supplies 100% of its energy
from renewable sources, but it is more
expensive. Research by Friends of the Earth
has identified Southern Electric, Norweb
and Scottish Power as the ‘best of the rest’
green option, with Southern Electric coming
out tops for supporting renewable energy.
5 Write to our own Vice-Chancellor Patrick
Dowling asking him to switch the
University’s electricity supplier to Unit[e].
The student environmental group, People
and Planet, are about to launch a national
campaign encouraging all universities to use
green electricity – let UniS be a leader in
1000 BF: The Aftermath
Just in case you have been on another planet for the last
week or so, last week was barefact’s 1000th issue (not 100th
as incorrectly printed by our sports editor). You didn’t think
we would let the occasion go without due and proper attention did you? Well, actually we did, although it wasn’t really
The day (Thursday 1st February 2001AD) began with a
champagne lunch, on the editor Kev. This was a notable
event in itself, since our beloved editor is rarely seen opening his wallet for any reason, indeed few people are yet to
see the cobwebs removed from his money holding device.
We were all in our finest evening wear, and awaiting delivery of the papers so that we may hand deliver them to each
and every KUB on campus.
After lunch in Helyn Rose Bar came the photo opportunity, and subsequent whining that our camera shy team did
not want to have their mugs recorded on film for future prosperity. Then we waited…… and waited……and waited a bit
more. You see the papers were meant to arrive at 4:30pm,
slightly later than usual I grant you but it was a very large
and may I say crammed full of fantastic features that should
be read again and again issue. However, it the fine tradition
of Mr. Sod and his equally wonderful law, there was a crash
on the M25 and your fantastic read was stuck on the infamous ring-road with nowhere to go, alone, scared, with an
overwhelming feeling of being unloved.
At about 7:00pm we decided to give up the ghost. We
went our separate ways back to our respective humble
abodes, to change into attire more suited to the day. At
7:02pm, Mr. Sod struck again and the papers arrived, slightly wet, shocked and bruised from their encounter but still
there to tell the tale. It was now late; we were all tired, so
instead of the intended hand delivering, we just did the usual
and left them in Court Receptions. Sorry.
The intended party in the evening also took a nose-dive
amid a series of ‘It’s on’ ‘It’s off’ rumors. Well, in the end it
was on but only a relatively small number of people turned
up for the indie-cheese set, so we’ll gloss over that part too.
Now what’s he reading
Where’s did the editor go?
The Sub Editors
Ahh, the rest of the team arrive after they got changed
Rich W having a quiet thought or two
Guys & Dolls
The Guy is only doing it for some Doll!!
By Anthony McDonagh
The week before any production
begins is an incredibly stressful
time for all concerned. More so if
you happen to be the director of
what is widely expected to be the
best UniS musical for many year.
Barefacts managed to catch up
with the man in charge, Jeremy
Elman, just days before opening
“Guys & Dolls is a story about a
gambler who makes a bet with a
friend that he can’t take a certain
girl out on a date. On top of that
the friend runs to an undercover
crap game (a card game) and to
ensure his seat at the game he
has to promise to marry his girlfriend. There are also other gambling gangsters running around
New York supplying further subplots,” began Jeremy as he tried
to explain a very complex plot.
This is the second year as director for Jeremy, the first being
Madsoc’s (or G&S as they were
then) production of Chess. “Guys
& Dolls has been easier to direct
than Chess, the cast is stronger
than three years ago; I am more
experienced now and with this
experience I have been able to
organise the crew a great deal
better. Plus, Guys is a much more
light-hearted musical than Chess.
“I would describe my directing
style as very laid back, trying to let
things flow and only interrupting
when things start going the wrong
way. I like to let the cast have
some free reign.”
So why on earth would he want
to put himself through the torture
of directing a second musical, “I
really enjoy doing it, so much so I
want to do it as a career. I am hoping to get into ‘Mount View’ Drama
School to do a Masters in Theatre
Directing after graduating from my
Retail Management degree here.”
Much has been made of the rift
between Jeremy and cheorographer Rebecca Reid, who also has
a small part in the play as a Hot
Box Girl, “It’s not so much a conflict as just a difference of opinion.
Rebecca wants the show to
resemble more of a Broadway
showbiz style musical, whereas I
would prefer the show to be more
realistic and show the dark undertones of the gangster. In the end
we managed to compromise, it’s
just about finding mutual ground.”
Jeremy was also keen to thank
other members of the production
team, “Roland Heap, the stage
manager, has been excellent and
has a really good crew behind
him. The musical director Rachel
Hackett has used her excellent
technical knowledge to the full by
producing amazing singing from
the cast, particularly with some of
Lastly, Jeremy spoke of
Madsoc’s plans for the next few
months, “We still run workshops
every Wednesday, and we are
hoping for something else to take
place, possibly a serious drama,
but we’re open to ideas.”
So if you fancy a bit of Guys &
Dolls pop on down to the Electric
Running till Saturday
Hot Box Girls
Jeremy Elman - Director
That’s right; the Students’ Union.
Your Students’ Union: that multitagonal building near The One That
Looks Like Titanic. Does some good
stuff. Cheap drinks. Busy nightclub.
But that’s not actually what the
Union’s all about. The real purpose
of the SU is making sure your point
of view is
listened to by the University, providing welfare support, academic
advice, co-ordinating sports and
social activity; publications, communications, etc. However, all this can’t
happen by itself, which is where the
Sabbatical team step in. They are a
group of six elected representatives
each responsible for a different
aspect of Union functioning.
Sabbatical elections give you the chance to do just that – whether you’re standing for election, running somebody’s campaign, or one of the thousands being canvassed at, if you’re a full member of the Students’ Union,
you’ve the right to vote in these elections.
The people elected will be influencing your life here over the next year, in terms of how well the Union’s run and
how you’re represented both at University and at a national level. Your vote is important. Please use it!
So, the fight has begun for the new positions that could decide our future as members of the USSU. With the
candidates now announced and the verbal campaigns already begun the race is on to find new people to take
on positions from President to VP of Sports. Speeches are being written as we speak and poor friends are
having to listen to them yet again as we wait to see who will take over from our current lot.
Hustings begin this Monday ( 12th Feb ) and conclude on Thursday ( 15th Feb ) so come and fire awkward
and hideous questions at the trembling campaigners and make them fight for their potential positions as our
So, you want the beer prices reduced and perhaps B*Witched to return to the Union ( or the ever successful
Daphne and Celeste ), tell them your requests and watch the new candidates perform miracles to satisfy our
With 16 candidates standing this year the competition is stiff as only one person from each category can
become the position they want. That is why gossip will be spread, claws will come out and mud will be flung!
Come and watch in amazement as reputations destroyed and lives are left in ruins as blasts from the past
come to destroy the hopes and dreams of our candidates!
Voting begins Mon 19th and ends Friday 23rd Feb.
By Libby Hurt
Candidates may well use all kinds of publicity to win your vote, but basically your decision needs to be based on who you think will do the best
You can decide this by reading their manifestos on the following pages,
by talking to candidates, or by coming along to Hustings (candidate question time) in week 4.
If you don’t feel a certain candidate is suitable, indicate this by voting
“RON” (Re-open Nominations) for that role.
Voting is taking place in week 6, at the following times and locations:
Right, I’m going to vote.
What’s the system?
We use a Single Transferable Voting system where, rather than just picking one candidate, you get to rank the candidates in your order of preference. For example, you might vote:
Monday 19th Feb
Tuesday 20th Feb
Wednesday 21st Feb
Thursday 22nd Feb
Friday 23rd Feb
10.30 – 2.30
10.30 – 2.30
10.30 – 2.30 & 7 – 11pm
10.30 – 2.30
10.30 – 2.30
To vote, simply go along to one of the sessions above with your campus
card, where your name and URN will be checked, and you’ll be given a
stamped ballot paper. Follow the instructions on the paper, and place in
the sealed ballot box.
This would mean you want Cookie Monster to win, and if Cookie Monster
doesn’t get the job, then you would like Henry’s Cat to get it instead. If
Henry’s Cat didn’t win either, you are effectively saying you don’t mind
which of the others gets the job (because you haven’t given any other preferences).
If, however, you voted like this:
Sabbs can make a lasting impact on Union and University policy – so
your vote is vitally important, whether you’re here next year or not. For
more information, talk to any of the current sabbs or candidates, or visit
the Union website at http://www.ussu.co.uk/elections/index.asp
Then you would be saying that your preferences would be Cookie Monster,
Henry’s Cat and Zippy in that order. Then, if none of those won, you would
prefer to scrap the whole election than let that stupid hippo George win –
this is indicated by RON being your fourth choice.
When we count up the votes, we first count the number of 1’s each candidate has. If no candidate reaches the quota required to win, then the candidate with the fewest votes is eliminated, and his or her votes are re-distributed according to the voter’s next preference. This process is repeated
until somebody reaches the quota – and then that person is the winner.
Vote George  for
VP Comms &
Vote Henry’s Cat 
for VP Comms &
Vote Cookie M 
for VP Comms &
LOG IN, LOG ON: VOTE LOGAN  FOR PRESIDENT
I am a final year biochemist doing a dissertation on the clock genes.
I am dynamic, hard working and passionate. I love people and I would like
to improve the Union to make the
University of Surrey a more pleasant
and enjoyable experience for you, the
students. I have a good idea of the
problems facing us within and without
the structure of the management and
the staff and am always willing to listen
to and develop other people's ideas as
well as having many of my own.
The Union is in debt. Chancellors is losing business very quickly. They do not
know what it is that you want. Only you know. I see you often from behind the
bar, bored, tired and drunk, lining the perimeter of the dance floor. You should
take back the Union; it is there for you.
Up until recently I was a supervisor in
Chancellors. I have been working there
and occasionally in the Union for nearly
two years. I quit. I disagree with various
levels of the management on many
issues which face the Union but which
they continue to fail to resolve.
I am currently playing a role in the Mad
Society production of Guys and Dolls,
Nathan Detroit, a small time Broadway
gangster who is only trying to set up a
dice game for the convenience of those
who want a little action. In return for
which I take a small cut.
My greatest pleasure is travelling and as
well as participating in the U.S. exchange
program, I have covered extensive parts
of the planet. I am well read in both history and cultures and some of my greatest friends at the university are Italian
My interests include languages, theatre,
people and writing. I have written poetry,
plays and novels. I am a typical scientist;
I cultivate my own Pretentious Society.
No matter who we are. No matter where we came from. We have ideas.
A member of the Entertainments management has been quoted as saying 'If it
ain't broke don't fix it.' The Union is Broke. Why were we bewitched for £13,000?
Proposer: Panayiotis Kamoutsis “Panos”
Economics & The Greek Buddha
A.M.A.N with A. Kanakis and S.
Staff conditions are terrible. Anyone who is a member of the bar staff will know
this to be true. I would improve this by tackling our recruitment problem head
on, institute a rewarded training and loyalty scheme and general meetings for all
Union staff in order to build an effective team.
Seconder: David Chapman “Chops”
Psychology, barefacts, sports exec, Pres Surf Soc
Guarantor: Phil Hallchurch
Music, Sonic Boom DJ
Guarantor: Samantha Williams
Management Studies, Helicopter & Yoga Enthusiast
Guarantor: Bernadette Robinson “Bernie”
Nurse, Captain Women’s Rugby Team
Guarantor: Antonio Bernardi
Sociology, Die hard romantic
I would big up the Radio. Open up the main union as a venue and a space
throughout the week and put my back into its promotion. It is empty most nights.
Just putting some good chilled music for the people playing pool would be a
change. Develop the relationship the Union has with town and continue to support and strengthen ties with the university as a whole. I would change
Wednesday nights to a more alternative night upstairs and even if you don't like
House, Trance, Garage, R n B and Funky Hip Hop you will at least appreciate
that the other music is tired. We don't need two nights of Cheese a week. There
is FNO for that.
If you are too scared to experiment you shouldn't be a student. In the societies
aspects of the union, I will continue the good work of the current sabbatical
team, strengthening our relationship with the NUS, persevering with issues such
as accommodation and security, encouraging the proliferation of new societies
within the union and work hard with my elected sabbatical team in their areas of
I am not kidding myself. I know these changes will be difficult to bring about but
if we all work as a UNION, anything is possible. Unity needs a verse to be complete. Make this your Union and let me help you.
UNITY NEEDS A VERSE TO BE COMPLETE
ADAM JAKEWAY  FOR PRESIDENT
Who Am I?
I'm Adam, a final year Chemistry with Management student and my
aim is to be the president of our student's union for the next academic
year. Many of you probably recognise me because if I'm not working
for the union, you'll probably find me having a beer and a chat. I am
an outgoing, enthusiastic and committed member of USSU and I
think I have what it takes to represent you next year.
The most important aspect of being the president is
representing you. The University of Surrey is extremely
fortunate in that it is home to a broad range of cultures
and tastes, and through improvements in communication
I shall ensure that all students are fully represented as
members of the student's union. I shall also promote our
involvement with the NUS on a national level as a
valuable source of student representation and support.
ADAM JAKEWAY  FOR ALL
(2nd year Economics, pub quiz compere,
(final year Midwifery Student)
(PG Biological sciences, USSU security)
(1st year Mech Eng, Member of Rugby 1st
XV and Cricket Club)
(Final year Chemist, Afro Caribbean Soc)
Sattha ("Santa") Songvijava
During my four years at Surrey I have always been actively involved
with the student's union and currently represent the student body on
the finance and services committee. I am also a keen member of the
rugby club and have been social secretary of the Chemsoc
committee. My various commitments to UniS and USSU have not
only given me experience in the way that the student's union works
but has also shown me the potential that the union has, not only as
the best venue for miles around but as a helping hand and resource
for all students at Surrey. I believe I have the qualities necessary to
harness this potential and make the most of our union for everybody
studying at Surrey.
The student's union should be important to all students not only as a
social centre for nights out, but also as a place to relax, and the focal
point for clubs and societies. There is always room for improvements
in service and during my term as president I will not shy away from
tough decision making if it is for the benefit of the student body as a
whole. The student's union is open for anything up to 18 hours a day
and I would like to see the building as full as possible all day long,
whether it is being used for dancing, working or even a game of pool
with a coffee and a fag.
 FOR ALL
As your president I will: Represent ALL students at meetings, whether
it be in the union, with the university at Senate
House, or at a national level.
Play a full and active part in the decisions surrounding the Improvement of the provision of
accommodation for ALL students, especially
those with back to back arrangements
(SMSSS, SOMS, LIS, PG's, MSE, EHIMS)
Ensure free Wednesday afternoons for ALL
Improve communication between the union
and ALL students (Placement, Hazel Farm,
Off Campus) to increase the participation of
members with USSU.
‘As president it will be my intention via a
friendly, efficient and organised approach to
raise awareness of ALL of the opportunities,
facilities and amenities available to
President & Education and Welfare
VOTE SPENCER  FOR PRESIDENT
Who Am I?
Hi, I'm Spencer, you may remember me from such campaigns as;
Ban Fox Hunting (before 2am) and the Cash For (tutorial) Questions
saga. I'm currently in the 2nd year studying computing and my time
here has been great. In my first year I was a campus court representative and I'm currently the Social Secretary of the Ski and
Proposer - Paul Canning
Seconder - Alistair Fitch
Chairman Ski & Snowboard
Guarantors: Nick Ludford
Ex Captain Water Polo
Chairman Food & Wine
2nd year Psychology
Root & branch review of Union bar and ents services following up the good work done this year
Increase awareness of local jobs available to students
Expansion of commercial and corporate interests within the
union (eg. sponsorship).
To look seriously into the benefits of staying with the NUS
Continued support of all Clubs and Societies in partnership
with VP Sports and VP Soc & Culture
Open door, if I'm in come and chat I'm interested in your
Why me is a question I often ask myself in
the morning. In terms of the presidency, I'm
and active, friendly and outgoing member of
the union who cares passionately about the
Union and its students. I've a proven track
record for organisational skills through my
participation with the ski club, if you vote for
me I promise to dedicate all of my energies to
improving the student's Union for all of us.
Plough back proceeds from extra commercial/corporate
funding into improved entertainments and reduced bar prices
Working as a team with the other Sabbs and with consolation
of the students to find out what you really want
Improving ties between the university and the local
authority/community to find areas of common interest where
we can work together
More participative events on a Wednesday and Friday night
Let Me Entertain You
Most Students come to university to have a
good time and get a degree while doing it…
(or should that be the other way around?).
Here are some of my ideas.
More live bands in the Union
(Inc. student bands)
More guest DJ's
More promotions to attract people
Be Positive Vote  Theobald
VOTE  FOR LISA WIDDOWS VP EDUCATION AND WELFARE
Who am I?
Hi, I'm Lisa. I am a final year dance and culture student who is passionate about making your university years
the best of your life. Not only may first years remember mine as one of the first faces they saw when arriving
in September, but also to them and everybody else, I may have been seen dancing in various locations
around campus, for my course, be it by the lake, in AP or in Chancellors. Having worked in the Union since
my first semester at Surrey, I know it from the inside and want to use that knowledge to help and support you
in any way I can.
What makes me the right choice?
I am a proven team player. My job as a Bar Supervisor and my course demand that I have to be. I am committed to what I believe and dedicated to see it through to the end. My communication skills mean that everyone will feel welcome, if they ever need to see me. Along with my listening and understanding nature, I
believe these qualities are paramount for the position and I will use them to the best of my ability.
Working Party Member, Member of
Skiing team, USSU Bar Supervisor
Re-approach departments and improve communication between them
Use notice boards to increase awareness of course procedures
Improve course rep training
Ensure fair and strong representation for students at course board meetings and with appeals
Support and encourage the 'buddy' system within departments
Seconder: Claire Haggett
Proposer: Rebecca (Rue) Heath
4th Year Retail Management Union
Union Environment Officer 1999-2000,
Green Soc, Year Rep
3rd Year International Hospitality
and Tourism Management
Ex Treasurer of Rugby and Hazel
Farm Committees, Member of Rugby,
Equestrian and Skiing teams, Finance
and Services Representative, USSU
3rd Year Dance and Culture
3rd Year Electronic Engineer
3rd Year Dance and Culture
Chairperson of Emotive Dance
Company, Former Year Rep
Be involved and strengthen our
participation in the national campaign
against tuition fees
Look at the possibility of paying fees in
To pursue the possibility of introducing a 'job
shop' i.e a recruitment agency
To set up careers conventions in liaison with
the careers service for information postdegree employment
Services and Health:
I am committed to all areas of health care and will ensure that all students are aware of the services available, from childcare to the medical services, from niteline to the counselling service. I plan to re-introduce a
nursery for staff and students. I am determined to be part of maintaining their reliability and purpose to
ensure their availability to you in and out of term time.
Evaluate ways of making campus more accessible and I am completely committed to improving all facilities
on campus for any students with additional requirements. (This includes all aspects of disabilities)
Combat the problems of lighting and
Set up focus groups to discuss
security on campus
ideas concerning the present
Introduce self defence classes for all
Improve bus services covering Hazel Farm, Manor o
To look at the housing system
Farm and Tesco’s
generally and consider ways of
Develop a scheme whereby students living off
campus can feel confident in returning home safely
"An education and welfare officer
is responsible for all matters of
education and welfare affecting
the union and its members."
I will offer advice and representation in all educational matters
from academic grievances and
appeals to general course problems. I will also liase with course
reps and heads of departments to
ensure that communication is a
priority in education.
I will listen and offer advice on
matters concerning individual welfare. I will liase with support services and ensure everyone is
aware of these services. Finally I
will co-ordinate with Union campaigns, on issues that students
Awareness and Action.
I will make people aware of what I
can do for them and I will act on
what they tell me they need. Our
University and Union has many
services and one of my priorities
is to increase awareness that they
exist. I can guide you to these
facilities that you are entitled to.
VP Communications & Marketing
VOTE LUKE HICKEY  FOR VP COMMS & MARKETING
Who am I?
So why me?
Hi, I'm Lovebite, a final year Maths & Stats student. Right, now take a deep breath, here
is my record so far. This year I am the barefacts deputy editor, this generally involves writing large chunks of the paper (across all sections) and then laying-up/editing bf, with the current editor, 'till some stupid hour of Wednesday morning (usually 4am). I am also (or at least
will be when it launches) head of news at GU2 radio, as well as presenting shows. I am chair
of the Ultimate Frisbee Sports Club and brought the club up from the brink of folding back in
Well, being deputy editor of bf this year has meant two
things: 1) I do the current editor's job when he's away and
2) I have had the experience of being on the
Communications Committee. Through this I have been
involved with more of the behind the scenes stuff, like getting advertisers and the bf budget (it's not as large as
you'd think). I have a history of being an ideas man, in fact
a number of bf's new features this year are my brainchild,
particularly the 'Try It' section, which has led to many of
the featured societies and sports clubs increasing their
In my 2nd year I was the Sports Rep for my department, winning both team and individual awards. I was the fixture secretary and 2nd team captain of the Cricket Club and was
also in the G&S (now called MadSoc) production. I would tell you about my 1st year but I'm
fast running out of space.
I propose to:
Mark Shaw (Maths & Stats final year,
GU2/GCR presenter, football club (6th
team captain 98-99) and cricket club
Improve the levels of campus news reported in bf and in news programs on GU2.
make the union communications more open and students aware of what their
elected officers are doing for them.
Improve union information for placement students. On my placement I heard
nothing from USSU, this year a few emails have been sent. I propose to increase
this and also produce a placement newsletter at least once a semester.
Return the bf 'Personals' section to its former glory.
Increase the number of quality features of student interest in bf and in particular
Highlight incompetence in the University and return bf to being the Student Voice
that holds UniS to task.
Continue the excellent work taken place this year in improving the Union Website.
Increase the flow of information from union officials through the website.
Make the website carry more news applicable to placement students.
Add UniS sports results / reports to the website.
Make GU2 as diverse in music taste as the students it serves.
David Abbott (Electrical Engineering
final year, Union Chairperson 00-01,
barefacts Features Editor 01, Ofu Chair
98, Ofu treasurer 99 & 01).
David 'Chops' Chapman
(Applied Psychology & Sociology 1st year,
Sports Executive 00-01, barefacts Sports
Editor 00-01, Surf Club chair (and founding
member) 99-01, Course Rep 99- 00)
Matt 'Kempy' Jackson
(Economics final year, Hockey Club 9701, 1st team Captain 00-01, treasurer
Computing final year, USSU Technology
Officer and Webmaster 00-01, Sailing Club
97-01(including Yachting Skipper, Safety
Officer and Webmaster), Course Rep 98-00)
(Music & Tomeister 1st year, Ultimate Frisbee
and MadSoc 00-01, Battersea Court Chair 00
On the marketing side, I have had experience of obtaining and getting sponsorship for local drama productions
and for sports clubs at home. I hope to be doing the same
again, when organising the first ever UniS Ultimate
Frisbee tournament. I have also had the chance to sit on
USSU marketing focus groups, thus gaining an incite into
the good and bad points there.
I propose to:
To make the Union feel welcoming for all students
To aid all societies and sports clubs in improving
marketing their products
To increase links with the local community
To improve on my existing contacts with officials of
other Student Unions, to promote links between us
Make GU2 as commercial success through effec
Increase the marketing on the Union Website, thus
increasing the financial income from it.
Barefacts to be returned to all students. GU2 to be made a commercial success. Communications to be exactly that.
It’s YOUR UNION you deserve to know what happens in it.
Vote Tristan O’Dwyer 
VP Communications & Marketing
Barefacts is the longest running student newspaper in the country, with
a reputation for quality. I will build on its existing strengths by:
Encouraging more people to contribute.
Increasing representation for foreign students.
Increasing awareness and ease of access of the on-line
Marketing is a very significant part of this job, whether it be marketing
the Union to the outside world, or of other organisations through advertising space in Barefacts publications and in the Union building itself.
Within the Union
Once elected, I propose to investigate current deals to determine if the
students are being best served by them, and optimise any marketing
opportunities to the Union's benefit.
5XH & Phased
These publications are the ideal opportunity for contributions from those
who may not have time to contribute to Barefacts on a regular basis but
would like to have their voice heard. I will continue with these publications and encourage as much contribution as possible.
This will be a new radio station with a two mile broadcast radius. I will
Provide interesting, informative, and entertaining
Use GU2 to promote Barefacts and all Union events.
Approach music societies and encourage them to
contribute programmes and promote themselves.
Use Barefacts to keep listeners informed of GU2
Life members and Placement Students
It is easy to keep informed about the Union when you are on campus
everyday, but what about those who are away? Placement students are
kept informed to an extent, but I believe we can do much more.
Life members of the Union are currently very poorly informed about the
Union and its events. These people have chosen to pay to stay in the
Union, but it seems to them as if all links are broken once they graduate. I propose to:
Start an e-mailing list to keep members informed of
changes to the Union and of forthcoming events.
Investigate possibilities for starting a publication for life
I aim to ensure that excellent relations with the NUS are maintained to
make sure that our students get the best out of the NUS and that we can
make our voices heard on a national scale.
Marketing the Union to the outside
I also propose to:
Foster good links with, and market the Union well to the local
Advertise Union events in local and national media when it is
appropriate to do so.
Who am I?
I am a final year Physics student who likes
getting involved! Throughout my years at UniS
I have been involved in many Union activities,
giving me skills that I believe are essential for
this position. I have been Communications
Officer for the Mountaineering Club, a student
tutor, and I am currently a member of the
music executive as well as liaisons officer for
No-Wave, which have all given me essential
experience in communicating with others. I
have also been involved in Barefacts, as part
of the music review team and a regular contributor of letters.
I am the drummer in the band "Trayscrape",
which has seen me get involved in organising
events and establishing a website.
My placement year saw me gain excellent
communications skills training, teaching experience, and valuable editorial experience.
These are all reasons why I believe I make the
ideal candidate for Communications and
It is very important that USSU is seen in the best possible light by the
outside world. I believe I have the communication skills necessary to
Marketing the Union to the students
I will also work closely with the Entertainments manager to ensure that
all Union events are marketed well around the University, so that all students know what events are being provided for them. I will find new
ways of marketing the Union and it's activities to students.
Owen Hazelby - (Bio-Sciences, Barefacts Music Editor, NoWave Chairman)
Kate Lancaster - (Physics Final Year, Course Rep)
Dan Driscoll - (Chemistry Post-Graduate, USMC Treasurer,
Michael Gemis-Iordanou - (Physics, Hellenic Society)
Darrell Thomas - (Physics, Football Club Chairman)
Chris Woods - (Tonmeister, Mens Water Polo Captain,
Music Exec, & Motion)
Comms, Societies & Culture
Andrew Thomas  VP Communications & Marketing
Just who do I think I am?
My name’s Andrew Thomas and I am a final year in
Psychology. During my time at Surrey I have been
involved with various student societies and campus
media including Bare Facts, GU2 and the No Wave
music society. Currently I am Production Editor for
Bare Facts and was Music Editor in my second year. I
have also written many articles for the paper, this year
including the Daphne & Celeste interview, “Shiny Bus
Theory”, and the Rag week story of an alien crash
landing on campus! In previous years I have reported
Publishing & Marketing Experience
Aside from my activities within the union I have got plenty of
other experience I think will be valuable in making me the
best choice for VP Communications & Marketing. My placement year was spent in the publishing department of a large
company, producing all kinds of promotional material. I
understand the whole print process and understand all the
technicalities of producing a regular publication such as Bare
Facts. In my second year I worked part time in student marketing for Sony Music, promoting releases and organising
events. I run a website on unsigned music and student culture, which itself is an extension of my own self published
fanzine/magazine, “quirk”. I have produced 18 issues of my
fanzine over the past 5 years and the website has so far had
over 18,000 hits in the space of 2 years.
Our Student Media
The next year will see a big period of change for student
media at Surrey. With GU2 finally running on a frequency we
can all hear I want to integrate it together with Bare Facts
and the union website to be the best media service possible.
Another communication tool I wish to make more use of is email, providing a text based weekly summary of Bare Facts
for placement students who are often unable to spend time
viewing the site or downloading large Acrobat pdf files. Bare
Facts itself is good but it could be better. The key, making it
a paper that really represents our interests and views. Our
student newspaper should be reporting news we want to
read in a way that looks and reads as good as any “real”
newspaper. Barefacts should also be entertaining with consistently good features, creative writing, and a reviews section covering a greater scope of music
and the arts. A good mix presented in
a lively exciting style. Essentially a
Some events in the union building have been fantastically
successful, others have had the pulling power of an elderly
hamster tied to a juggernaut. The key difference in many of
these cases, marketing. Sticking a few posters up is not
enough, as Communications & Marketing Officer I shall look
to ensure that all events are promoted through as many
channels as possible, Bare Facts, GU2, the internet, and of
course, decent posters. I shall make every effort to ensure
that you know what is going on when and where so you have
the maximum choice of things to do when lectures are over
and the coursework can wait (!). Barefacts and GU2 will also
continue to provide the latest information on what is going on
in Guildford and beyond when you need that vital change of
Brighter Broader Bare Facts!
These people think I’m worth a , I hope you do too.
Reuben Thompson (first year LIS, Bare Facts Political Editor)
Ellen van Keulen (final year Computing and IT, Bare Facts Marketing)
Nick Walsh (final year Psychology, Bare Facts Science Editor)
Graham Jackson (final year Mechanical Engineering)
Christina Howard (Masters in Environmental Psychology)
Michelle Lewis (final year Music, leader of the Orphean String Quartet)
JAMES P. BULLER
Societies & Culture
Hi! I’m James, Maths & Computing
final year. I’m a familiar face around
campus, being heavily involved with
the Union ever since I arrived here. I have been voted:
* Barefacts News Editor 1997-2001
* Nightline (all jobs including President) 1998-2001
* Course Rep 1997-2001
* M.A.C.S. Webmaster 1998-2001
Amenities, General, International,
Art & Ents., Departmental, Religious
I pledge to...
* Organise an extra Re-Fresher Fair in January
* Seek out societies that need support & supply it
* Provide support materials and training for committees
throughout the year
* Promote the Millennium Volunteers scheme to
* Arrange for societies to work together for mutual benefit
* Simplify finding out about, and joining societies
* Work with the Comms & Marketing Sabbatical to get
your messages out
* Transform the Union’s Activities Centre into a useful resource
“I want societies to come to me with their problems
but go out thinking of our problems”
I’ll offer real, practical and moral support to all our societies so Trampolining Club,
they grow in size and stature. I want members of such soci- BTF Coach
eties to have fun and learn valuable skills through participation. I’ll meet with each society to discuss achieving their aims
publicity, recruitment, organisation,
budgets & sponsorship.
I will offer any back-up or advice required, then I’ll ensure the
* Believe I can do the job, and do it well
* Have considerable knowledge of the Union & University
* Am renowned for creating thriving societies
* Am aware of how Surrey’s huge range of cultures at
can enrich all of our lives
* Will work tirelessly on your ideas as well as my own
* Have had a great student life and want others to have
an even better one!
Plus, I sit on the National Nightline Executive, elected by NL
volunteers all over the UK.
on all kinds of issues, including an eyewitness report
on the Mayday anti-capitalist demonstration/riot in
London. I co-host a radio show on GU2, and previously on GCR - mixing spontaneous discussion with
slightly dodgy pop and indie music. I am the Publicity
Officer for the No Wave alternative music society, and
also occasionally DJ at their nights. Please note, this
does not make me a scary goth - I dance badly to
cheese and house at FNO just like everyone else!
OFU Treasurer, Bf.
Feats Ed. Windband
Music, Ethnicity, Age, Colour,
Sexuality, Gender, Values, Beliefs
I promise to...
* Look after the interests of international, placement,
mature, postgraduate, religious, LGBT, nursing &
part time students. No-one will be forgotten.
* Encourage themed weeks/days/nights
* Organise 'UK awareness evening' for overseas students
* Promote multicultural participation in student media
* Review the success of multicultural activities in other
I shall uphold the identities of our diverse cultural groups and
strive to improve
awareness, understanding & integration
of them so they expand all our horizons. Being able to join in is
not enough: Everyone needs to feel welcome and accepted.
It's a two-way thing, the more you give the more you get.
...and there’s more!
* Campaign for better campus lighting & security
* Say NO to Tuition & Top Up Fees
* Fight to keep down bar prices
* Make YOUR Union good for YOU.
In my three and a half years at Surrey, I've
been involved in several clubs and societies,
including restarting PhotoSoc two years ago,
which I chaired. I also am an active member of
Stage Crew-- you've probably seen me doing
the lights at FNO. When I'm not doing something else, you might even have seen me in the
Chemistry department where I've been studying Computer Aided Chemistry, which of course
means I get to blow up two sets of labs!
What I will do for you:
Promote a more varied
cultural experience for
Make sure Student views
are adequately represented
within the union.
Give next year's new intake
the welcome they deserve
and make Freshers week
better than ever!
VP Societies & Culture
This is me, if you didn’t
I've enjoyed the union's facilities and
the hard work put in by previous
sabbatical officers over the last four
academic years, and now I feel it is
time for me to put something back
The Societies and Culture post will
hopefully allow me to carry on the
good work, and to change certain
things which haven't been perfect.
Specifically support for placement
year students from the union could
It's equally important to remember
Maintain better contact with that the sabbatical job isn't just
placement students, wher
about the specific brief, but about
ever in the world they are.
being a good sabbatical in general;
doing the less glamorous things and
Enthusiastically take on
looking after the union and its memwhatever challenges present
bers, as well as their interests.
themselves during the year.
The union's many varied societies provide students with an
excellent opportunity to take
part in many different activities
and sports as well as meeting
other like minded people. If
elected I shall continue the high
level of organisation necessary
to ensure the smooth running of
all societies, while also endeavouring to reduce the paperwork
facing committees to help societies concentrate on their activities and not bureaucracy.
What I will do for societies:
At the moment not all cultures
and minorities are adequately
represented within the union.
This is definitely something to
be looked into.
Thank you for your support!
Remember: Mark Godfrey 
for VP Societies and
Try to raise the
profile of societies
within the University.
Review the formal
Make the formation
of new societies
Make life easier for
societies in general,
with less bureaucracy
and more enjoyment!
Ban restrictions on
Maintain the current
variety of societies in
Bring back SillySoc
Edward Hook - Chemistry final year, professional
socialite, all round good bloke.
Andrew Thomas - Barefacts Production Editor,
No-Wave publicity officer. final year Psychology.
Dan Driscoll - Chemistry postgrad, Secretary Mountaineering
club, MusicSoc (No Wave) committee member,
Union bar staff .
- Stage Crew secretary, Civil Engineering 1st year.
Jonathon Davies - LGB Soc President, Physics Final Year.
Reuben Thompson - Barefacts Political Editor, 1st Year Languages.
Mark Godfrey  - I’ll show you a good time!
You are all students, and we know why students really come to university…
For the SOCIAL life!
And what better way to get to meet people than join one of the many societies that is run by our student Union. There are over 60 societies catering
for just about everyone's taste in activities and if there isn't something there that interests you, then you can start a society your self.
We are in a lucky position at this
university, with over 2000
international students from 120
different countries, and this can
provide us all a chance to
experience different cultural
aspects. I would like to make
international week more prominent
for the average student, as well
as trying to bring major events
(such as Chinese new year) to a
wide range of students with
events in the Union.
I have recently returned from a year out in
industry, and have suffered from the lack
of information sent out to placement
students. I would like to provide placement
students with a link to what is happening on
Campus. After all they are still Surrey
Proposer: Louisa Phillipson
Final year Chemist, Trampolining and
Seconder: Emma Clark
Hi I’m Philip Hawtin
I am the secretary for the Games Society, Treasurer for the
There are some students that
Chess Club and the Scout and Guide Club, entertainment
don't start in September, in
officer for Stag Hill Archers, an active member of the
particular post graduates and
Christian Union, and when I have a few minutes spare
diploma nurses, and so don't get a from these, I attend final year Chemistry Lectures.
true Surrey welcome. I would like
Over my time at this university I have been very involved
to arrange some way for these
with various clubs and societies, and have got lots out of
students to get involved with
the opportunities they offer. Having served on or for eight
societies as easily as a normal
Society and Club committees, I have a good knowledge of
fresher would by organising a
the running of a Society, and the problems it can cause, as
Re-Fresher's Fayre in semester
well as some of the solutions.
Final year Biochemist, Stage Crew, No
Wave, Vice President of GameSoc.
President of Stag Hill Archers, Post Graduate
Third year Nurse, Climbing Club, Christian
Wates House bar staff, THE Paintball Soc.,
GameSoc, Netgamer, and final year Elec. Eng.
Second year Mech. Eng., President of the
VP Finance & Development
VOTE  TICH FOR VP FINANCE & DEVELOPMENT
Through my time in industry, I saw
many opportunities for raising
revenue for the USSU through
private sponsorship and advertising,
which could benefit both private
companies, and most importantly,
our Student's Union. Throughout
my duration with this university,
I've held positions as Chairman and
Treasurer of the Canoe Club as well
as helping with charity organisations such as the Scout movement
to help raise funds.
Development for the Union,
for the students…
Finance for the Union, for
"My goal is to tap into and 'milk'
There is a misconception that the
USSU is run for profit and not in
the interest of its population.
Unfortunately the USSU has problems, mainly inherited by this
year's sabbatical team.
Giving the students a louder voice
will be a priority therefore allowing
students to having more input on
the commercial side of our union
and thus giving more opportunity
for you express your views and
I will continue to strengthen the relations
and communications by the Union to our
members who feel neglected and isolated
such as International, Hazel Farm, and
A little bit about me….
Known as Richard Beltrán or 'Tich', you may
recognise my face (well, the back of my head
at least!) from seeing me working behind one of
the bars in the Union, when I've driven various
sports clubs and societies or when I drove you
to and from either Hazel Farm, Cindy's or if
you've been here long enough, Bojanglez.
Currently studying Economics I've been
involved with this university and USSU since
'95 as well as working in central London for
Born, raised and living in a multicultural society,
I endeavour to broaden and learn many new
This leads me to basically sum myself up as;
Approachable, Easy Going and Open minded
with a pragmatic approach to life.
Ex-shift leader @
Canoe Club Chair &
I will continue to build upon the
current Vice-Presidents successes Most of you would of at some point
and tackling of its problems and benefited from the hard work of
one of the many clubs or societies
issues by the means of
our Union has to offer and I see the
"More effective management of importance to provide and make
available the proper help and supthe USSU finances".
port, both financially and practically.
I have deep sense of respect and honour to be part of such a diverse and
multicultural population with many individuals adding their experiences, ideas
through the rich variation of different
cultures, backgrounds and skills and I
want to see our Union expand, adapt
and develop with and for the student
I feel that I've been around long enough,
and with both an Economics degree and my
commercial background, I feel it is time to
stop moaning and to positively do
something about it!
VOTE  TICH!
Vote John Geeson for VP Finance and Development
Improving support for societies
Hi I'm John, I'm in my 4th yr studying biochemistry. You have probably seen me about
in the union or Cindies as these have appeared to
be my second home lately! I like to dabble in a bit
of climbing and the occasional game of footie
when trying to avoid work! My friends see me as
energetic, chatty and approachable type who likes
to get the most out of life!
Societies are all around us and whether you
base jumping in Norway this weekend or
going to an event at the HRB you must realise
their invaluable contribution to student life. I
feel that it is essential, with the extra revenue
gained to increase financial support for those
societies to improve facilities and encourage
Development of an 'every-day'
You are probably not the first person to question
the prices of the goods and services provided by
the union. I often hear "what does the union do
with all it's cash" or "other unions benefit their students more". So how can the union be improved?
Quite simply, I feel the key is every day value and
accountability to its members.
Value: By voting for me you will ensure that:
A. fresh new ways of encouraging extra revenue
into the union:
B. A full, thorough 'no stone left unturned' review
of union structure/expenditure in both the commercial and non-commercial wing.
Accountability: 'Show me the money week' will
stay plus I propose to make quarterly summaries
of union services available with the added opportunity for feedback discussion groups/1 to 1
discussion groups as I feel it is us, the students,
that can improve the every day value of the
Am I the man???
Greater revenue into the
Extra support for societies.
Major expenditure overhaul.
Possibility of kebabs on
Unfortunately, I'm no overnight miracle-worker! But what I do have is enthusiasm and
determination to get the job done, and as the
organiser of the 'reduce the beers prices'
poster campaign I feel I have the wants and
desires of the every-day students in hand! So
'if you like what you see -vote for John G' ,
finance and development.
Proposer - Mark 'Crabby' Crabtree
Fellow 4th yr.
Seconder -Chris West
Guarantors(Kerrr-azy) Rachel Hawkins - Captain
Andy Wingate -Fellow 4th yr.
Alan Murray - 4th economics/Climber.
Tom Dean -Final yr chemist.
‘if you like what you see - vote for John G’
VP Finance and Development & VP Sports
Vote Mark Limbrick for VP Finance and Development
MARK LIMBRICK - VP FINANCE & DEVELOPMENT
Give a student a crate and they will drink for an evening.
Give a student a union and they will drink for a lifetime
Who are you voting for?
I'm Mark and I'm currently in my second year of economics. I'm an international athlete, well, if you count
hockey as a sport and Wales as a country. I can usually be found either propping up the bar in Chancellors
or scaring freshers on the dance floor with dance moves that would be more appropriate in a Trigger Happy
sketch. My main reason for running is so that I can reduce drinks prices in the union sufficiently enough to
become a full blown alcoholic.
Why vote for Mark?
If you want cheaper drinks prices, then vote for me, that is my main objective, and I think it's what most students want. We have one of the most expensive union bars in the country, and I will do everything I can to
make that change. The Student's Union should be that, a union that takes into account what its members
want, nobody else should have a say. I also intend to raise greater funds for the union through sponsorship
schemes. This will be used for better entertainment events, better clubs and of course better alcohol. Of
course with the increased alcohol consumption we may need the help of Alcoholics Anonymous, and I intend
to bring them to the union, every Tuesday, at 8pm.
The Union is run too much for the short -term, with so many various presidents and vice presidents over the
years, there has never been enough continuation of previous VP's work. I think that the Union needs a long
term business plan, that is simple to implement, in order to make sure that Chancellors never gets in as
much debt again, and so that our drinks prices never get this high again!
PROPOSER: DAVE TINY JENKINS
GURANTOR 1: HANNAH CLUCKY ASTON
GURANTOR 3: JAMES MALIBU OLIVER (JIMOLLIE)
SECONDER: PRESIDENT SPENCER THEOBALD
GURANTOR 2: MARIE YEAH BABY COLLINS
GURANTOR 4: CAROLINE PATRICIA THE STRIP-
Who am I?
Hi, I'm Simon and I am running for the role of VP Sports. I'm a final year
Retailer and Chairman of the Canoe Club, having been an active
member for the last four years. In addition to the role of Canoe Club Chair,
I have also held the role of Treasurer and I am currently training for my
level two instructor's qualification. I'm also a Union minibus driver and can
often be seen driving the Cindie's minibus or doing the Hazel Farm run on
a Friday night.
Why do I want this job?
In short - I believe I am the best person for the role. I have been
considering this job for two years and am passionate about fulfilling the
requirements of this post. Having been involved in sport at Surrey for four
great years I have a good understanding of how Surrey sport works and
therefore I have a mass of ideas on the best way in which to
develop it. I am determined that, if elected, I will give 110% commitment to
fulfilling my aims and will provide ‘the best possible support for those in
Why should you vote for me?
I believe I have the right ideas to develop Surrey Sport and the
necessary skills to carry out this role effectively. Whilst on placement I was
responsible for managing a series of customer events and I feel that the
organisational skills I have gleaned from this will stand me in good stead
for carrying out this role effectively.
My main aim for the role is to significantly increase the amount of funds available to
Sports clubs through the role of sponsorship. Many clubs this year have
experienced financial difficulties - some not even having a proper kit! Therefore I will
work strenuously to seek sponsorship for our teams from the mass of trade and
industry which we have in Guildford and the surrounding areas.
Another key aim of mine is to intensively lobby the University for
investment into the fleet of minibuses (or rather lack of!). Surrey has 52
sports clubs plus societies, all demanding minibuses and four minibuses is
simply not enough! It is now at such a stage where our clubs are now
loosing members, as they can't participate in their sport - this is especially
true at weekends for non-competitive clubs. There is a high emphasis on
sport at Surrey and we therefore need the provisions in place to allow us
to participate in this.
Sport for All
Simon Chappell - VP Sports
Charity Dinner Dance Chairman 2001
Final Year Retail Management
Sports Exec Chair, Ladies Hockey Chair,
2nd Year Psychology and Sociology
Men's Football 2nds, Final Year Retail
Women's Netball 2nd Team Captain,
Final Year BioChemistry
Richard 'Tich' Beltran,
This sponsorship will help to pay for high-level coaching for the sports team and thus
improve their on-the-field performances. A good example of this was at the start of
the year when women's football began to use the men's football coach for their training sessions - since then the club has flourished and I believe all clubs should have
this opportunity. High-level coaching can only help our sportsmen and women in
increasing the success of Surrey sport and lay the foundations for future.
Canoe Club (ex-Chairman and Treasurer)
Business Economics & Computing, 2nd
Year, USSU Bar and Union Minibuses
HCR Committee Secretary,Final Year Retail
SI’MPLY THE BEST
I strongly believe in sport being
open for all - regardless of ability
and thus I propose to make
Surrey sport open and accessible to everyone throughout the
I propose that:
1. There should be greater publicity
throughout the year of our sport's
clubs with the use of Barefacts
2. We should work hard to retain the
number of members in our sports
clubs. Through the use of coaches
we can improve people's ability and
therefore increase the number of
members we retain.
3. More importance should be placed
on keeping Wednesday afternoons
free for sports - too many optional
modules (esp. languages) are being
time-tabled for Wednesday afternoons which is affecting our clubs as
players/members are not turning up
for fixtures as a result of time-tabled
Another point I believe in strongly is a
closer working relationship between
the sports office and sports exec. I
propose a scheme whereby the
sports office operates a 'surgery
hours' scheme whereby clubs can
come in and liase with their sports
exec rep with the emphasis being to
resolve clubs problems as quickly
and effectively as possible. This
scheme will also give future sports
officers who are on sports exec a
clearer view of the role from which to
I have been considering this role
for some two years and although
I am not promising the impossible I do promise to develop
Surrey Sport so that we can
once again, truly -
Be Part of the Pride.
VP SPORTS I’ll serve each and every club to the best of my ability.
VOTE  David “Beaker” Civil for VP SPORTS
Hi, I'm Dave, a final year Retail Management student
and Course Rep for my year. Many of you probably
know me a lot better as Beaker. I've been involved in
sport here at Surrey since my Fresher's week, this
year I am Chairman of the Men's Hockey Club and
have been elected onto the Sport's Exec Committee.
I have gained a lot through my involvement in Surrey
sport over the last three and a half years - I now feel
it is time for me to give something back.
Sport should be available for anyone at our university who wishes to participate and I will continue to
ensure that there is excellent provision and support
for sports men and women of all standards. There
are a number of key areas to address if we are to
Promoting the existing Union sports clubs
at a well run and marketed Sports Fayre.
Increasing participation in inter-departmen
tal sport through maintaining two way
communication between the sport's office
and Unisport and better communication
with department sport's reps.
Increasing awareness of the programmes
offered by Unisport e.g. Aerobics and
CampusDance and raising the awareness
of existing events such as the forthcoming
River Sports Day and the new Sports Day
(incorporating International Sports Day)
Ensuring that those who don't start universi
ty in Fresher's week are also made fully
aware of the vast range of facilities and
sports on offer - and how to get involved.
One way in which I would achieve this would be the
introduction of a NEW Sports Handbook - produced with Unisport this would be a quick one-stop
reference point and guide for everything about
On election, one of my first priorities would be working with the Schools and
Senate House as well as the VP Societies & Culture and VP Education &
Welfare, to ensure that there are no more lectures on a Wednesday afternoon. This would free up at least one afternoon a week to allow you the student to take part in sport, leisure, other societies or in these days of tuition
fees, an opportunity to earn money to help pay for your studies.
At present the situation with union minibuses is hardly ideal and I realise
that for a number of sports, their activities cannot take place without them.
I will look again at finding sponsorship for our buses and ensure that transport is available for clubs as and when they need it.
Working with the University Sports Advisory Committee and the
University's Director of Sport to ensure continued funding for sport at both
Union and University levels. Keeping sport in the minds of the University's
powers-that-be will be of increasing importance with the development of a
Manor Farm campus over the next few years. This is especially relevant for
all teams who use the facilities at the Varsity. Similarly I will continue working with Guildford Borough Council, maintaining Surrey's involvement in
Millennium Sports. I will also work with the Surrey Sports Development
Unit, which aims to promote a coordinated approach to the development of
Sport across Surrey. This will help Surrey sport make the most of the services available within the county set-up.
The money available for sport at university has fallen in recent years whilst
the costs our clubs face will doubtless rise. I wish to build on existing contracts and sponsorship, to work on creating new links, showing how both
companies and Surrey sport can benefit through increased exposure for
them and sponsorship for us.
When electing a VP - Sports I would ask you to bear in mind that you are
not just electing an individual to be responsible for sport. You are electing
a Vice President of the Union who is jointly responsible for the running of
the entire Union. If you vote for me you can be certain that you are electing
someone who will do everything he can to ensure that this Union is run for
the benefit of all its members. The role of a sabbatical goes well beyond
that of the position he or she is elected to do. I am committed equally to
Surrey Sport and our Union and will ensure that both go from strength to
strength over the next year.
Catherine 'CJ' Johnstone
Sports Exec, Ex Netball Social Sec, Final Year
Jon 'Fart-Pants' Fairhurst
Equestrian Club Chairman
Rebecca 'Bow' Jackson
Ski Club Tour Manager, Ex Course Rep
Sports Bursary Holder, GB status yachtsman,Ex
Sailing Team Captain, Ex 1st Team Captain Men's
Hockey, Ex Course Rep - Retail Mgt.
Final Year IHTM, Course Rep
Bernadette 'Bernie' Robinson
Final Year Nurse, Captain Ladies Rugby
DON’T BE A MUPPET
Vote Dave “Beaker” Civil
And now for something completely different….
Hi, I'm Denise and I am a final year Applied
Psychology/Sociology (APS) student. I am currently a member
of the women's football team, and if I can stop getting injured I
may also get a game in with the Women's badminton team!!!
For the moment I am probably best recognised as 'that poor girl
trying to get around our rather hilly campus on crutches', or even
'that stupid girl who can't stay away from the union on those
crutches'. But believe it or not I can't wait to get my leg back and
hit the sports again. I have a strong passion for sport, and over
the years have partaken in a wide range of activities. I believe
sport to be an important part of my life, and with the devotion
and determination that I have, I believe I would make a fantastic sports officer. I'm a very approachable person, and as many
people know (as they are probably trying to get away from me)
I'll talk and listen to anyone. I believe that if I can get students
involved in sport at Surrey the way I have, that I can help them
enjoy their time spent at university that little bit more.
Wednesday afternoons for sport is a countrywide recognition.
Not only is it a time when many BUSA matches take place, but
it is also a time when many other clubs have a chance to get
together because no students should be in lectures… Or so we
are led to believe!!! Over the years departments have managed
to get away with slipping in the odd sneaky lecture or seminar
during this time. I believe that students should not be put into
the position where they have to choose, but have the opportunity to do both!!! This is something I feel very strongly about
and am prepared to approach any department who schedule
lectures past one o clock on a Wednesday afternoon on behalf
of any student who is made to choose!!!
Come on… get involved… Sport for all!
There is no point going to university (except for the qualifications of course) if you are not going to get the most out of it, and
although sport isn't everyone's cup of tea, those students who
are even slightly interested should be encouraged - with the
opportunity to do the sports that they want. Currently at Surrey
there is a whole range of sporting activities students can get
involved in, from the clubs such as football or athletics, to aerobics or the fitness suite within UniSport. There is something for
all tastes and abilities, and students should never be made to
feel that they are not 'sporty' enough to take part in any of these
activities. Along with working with the sports clubs, I plan to be
more forward and forceful when it comes to departmental
sports, in an attempt to make it fun and much more accessible
to all within the university. Currently within some departments
there is a lack of interest, which is a shame as not only can partaking be enjoyable, but also it may just be that de-stressor that
If you would like to talk to me
about any of these issues,
chances are you will find me
in the union on all main
nights. Failing that feel free
to stop me around campus for the moment you can't
miss me, I'm the dodgy
blonde hopping around (or
falling down!) on crutches.
Proposer: Hannah Saunders
(Women's Football Captain)
Seconder: Rachel Hawkins
(Women's Football Captain)
Guarantor: Matt Jackson
(AKA Kempy… Men's 1st
team Hockey Captain)
(A lass and a half!!)
Guarantor: Darrell Thomas
(Chairmen Men's Football)
Guarantor: Tanya Davis
(Women's football, cracking
Investing back into the future…
Sport within Surrey is growing, and we now have country wide
recognition achievements through clubs like squash, golf and
trampolining. With this in mind I would encourage clubs to
spend the money they have to invest back into their sport - making them bigger and better for the future. Here at Surrey
University we are lucky to have some of the best sporting facilities around, and as they say 'things can only get better'. Not
only will I represent current students, but also encourage the
new freshers in 2001 to get involved in sport. This means that
clubs should have new members to 'pass the baton' onto when
present students leave. Along with this I plan to raise the profile and image of Surrey sport within the local community, with
the hope of increase both sponsorship and coaching interests.
I really want to stress the fact that as sports officer I would be
there for you the students, and will therefore aim to represent
everyone to the best of my ability. Not only do I see myself as
an asset to the daily running of current clubs, but I also want to
be there for students and clubs when they have any problems
(such as sporting injuries!). Overall my plan is to invest in
Surrey sport not just for the now, but for the future!!!
Hi, I’m Lucy Andrews, this year’s Vice President
Societies and Culture and I wish to attend the NUS
Conference 2001 as a Surrey Delegate. I have
worked this year on NUS Campaigns such as the
National March for Education and ‘Modernising the
Movement’ for the integration of international and
The key themes of this year’s conference - education funding, welfare, active unions and student
rights are all of great importance and I want to be
there to see them argued out in true NUS fashion!
So, go on, let me go to sunny (?) Blackpool and
partake in student politics...and a few pints along
Hi, Lukeyboy here and I'm asking for your vote so
that I can attend the NUS conference and represent you. I have a number of issues with NUS
regarding the overall structure of the organisation
and would like the opportunity to ask questions of
the important people within NUS. Send me on this
conference and I'll make sure to ask questions.
Vote  Luke Mackenzie for NUS Delegate.
VOTE  BEN McCAULEY FOR NUS DELEGATE
Proposer: Ben McCauley
Seconder: Fiona Wareham
Proposer: Ben McCauley
Seconder: Susie Westwell
Hi, for those of you who don't know me I am Ben
Mac, the current VP Sports. I have been a sabbatical here at Surrey for the past 18 months and during that time I have represented Surrey Students
on local and national issues, sporting and nonsporting issues many times. I have represented
Surrey at regional NUS and BUSA meetings,
attended national NUS and BUSA conventions
and was a delegate to last years NUSSL conference in Cardiff and NUS conference in Blackpool.
I can represent YOUR views to a national audience.
So vote Ben McCauley  for NUS Delegate.
(And I'm the minibus driver so if I don't go no-one
else can get there!)
Proposer: Rebecca Heath
Seconder: Lucy Andrews
Susie Westwell Vote  NUS Delegate
Having worked as USSU President for over six
months now I have been really involved with NUS
both on a regional and National level. NUS
Conference is the biggest political event in the student calendar and I feel that my year as President
would not be complete without taking the representation of Surrey students to the next level at
this national forum. Furthermore I have a great
desire to be part of the decision making regarding
how NUS should be run, who it should be run by
and which areas of student needs it should be
campaigning for in the future.
Proposer: Susie ‘Q’ Westwell
Seconder: Lucy Andrews
As current VP Education and Welfare I am heavily
involved in dealing with and representing all students within the university and I feel that I have the
mindset and the experience to represent Surrey
Students fairly and strongly on a national level.
Having been an active student at Surrey myself
and a dedicated sabbatical, I have a great understanding of the variety of views and needs of students at surrey and intend to take every one of
these views with me to NUS Conference teh
nationwide student policy is set which will have
implications for every student at Surrey so vote 
for Susie Westwell and know that your voice will
Propser: Lucy Andrews
Seconder: Fiona Wareham
There are still delegate positions available so if
you want to join these lucky so and so’s then pop
in and see Luke Mackenzie in the Students’ Union
to find out more.
Setting The Record Straight
An Interview With Reef
I walk into the Guildford Civic Hall to meet
Kenwyn House, Reef guitarist, and he looks
every inch the rock star. And he loves it. “It’s
the best thing in the world to do. I’ve always
wanted to be in a band and I’ve always wanted to be a musician. I was talking to my
uncle at the gig in Truro yesterday and he
remembers hearing me when I was about
eight or nine pointing at the screen when Top
Of The Pops was on saying “I’m going to do
that.” I don’t remember saying that shit, but I
must’ve done! It’s all totally natural for us.
When I was on the dole or at college I was
doing exactly the same thing.”
The band got together in 1993, were signed
in 1994 and had their first album ‘Replenish’
out in 1995. How does Ken feel about the old
records? “I really like them. I love all our
records. They are a snapshot of what you
were doing at that time. You can say you
hate your school photograph, but that’s how
you looked and at the end of the day, you’ve
got to learn to love that. I look back over the
years and I think you could cringe, but I’m
The first album went to number 9 and was
quite a big seller. The second ‘Glow’ went
straight in at number 1. So are they interested in chart success? “Not necessarily, but
when you travel the world and see the
amount of people that come to your gigs….”
He tails off. Where are the band biggest
other than the UK? “In Australia and Japan.
Australia is one of the most beautiful places
in the world and I couldn’t believe how many
people we were playing to” (in Japan). It’s all
good then. What about Europe? “We sell a
lot of records in Holland, Germany, Spain,
Italy, Switzerland. Yeah we do alright “, he
says modestly, “but they don’t like us in
France”. And he looks confused.
Reef played at the Civic Hall here in sunny
Guildford on Jan 28, as part of the extensive
touring that goes with promoting the current
album ‘Getaway’. “We’ve never played here
before. We thought it was an interesting
place to come to”. Good, a proper, stomping
bone fide rock band here. We could do with
more of that, and the crowds starting to
queue outside obviously agree. Current live
favourites are ‘Saturday’ and first single from
the album, ‘Set The Record Straight’, but
these change all the time. And that’s “just
live, not necessarily what I think are our best
songs. They’re all my children”, he says, but
I think he’s joking.
How do the band write? “Almost all of the
time the music comes first. Gary (Stringer,
lead vocalist, currently escaping all the
media attention by sleeping on the tourbus)
writes 90% of the lyrics. Jack (Bessant,
bass) and Dominic (Greensmith, drums)
write some. I’ve made opinions, but I think
his (Gary’s) writing’s really good. And I don’t
have an interest in writing words. It’s all the
music I’m interested in. It’s the same for Jack
and Dom. And Gary loves words and he’s
naturally quite good at it. Thank God for
Gary and his words.” Amen. “Sometimes
words really do mean something to me, but I
just listen to tunes. Tunes and beats, that’s
what turns me on. Half of the time, I can’t listen to pop records, I have to blank the words
out, because they f**king irritate me so
Do the band go into the studio with a specific aim for the album or is it organic? “You are
always moving from what was last done. You
sort of springboard to the next thing you
want to do. It’s an intuitive thing”, he says
thoughtfully. “There are no words to
really good songs. I just wished they’d had a
little bit more dirt on them. That they weren’t
so clean. They’re (the songs) like brand new
trainers. Always better when you’ve had a
weekend wearing them.”
Reef are always writing and looking for new
ideas. These sometimes come out at soundchecks and Ken is always playing one of his
thirteen guitars. What are they writing at the
moment? “We’re coming up with dirty, horrible ideas at the moment. It is going to sound
like a washing machine on full spin with a
brick in it! he jokes, but you can see he’s
itching to make proper “dirty” rock ‘n’ roll.
What did you grow up listening to? “I’ve
always been into music, I’d sing along with
the radio when I was a little boy. I’ve always
loved music. But what really made me think
“Yeah, that’s what I want to do” was Jimi
Hendrix” he says with admiration, “and early
ACDC, Led Zeppelin, the Rolling Stones, the
Clash, the Beatles”. The usual suspects.
“Rock ‘n’ roll basically. The real shit.”
Latest LP ‘Getaway’ features the singles ‘Set
The Record Straight’, ‘Superhero’ and ‘All I
Want’, all of which go down really well at the
gig, which seems to be a greatest hits set,
with huge cheers from
“We’re really lucky at
the sell-out crowd with you come up against things our record company.
most of the intros. But like having to do the Radio They are all exKen says “I’m not 100%
musos and are totally
roadshow. F**king doing it for the right
happy with the produc- One
tion of our last record to worst things alive
reasons and we have
be quite honest.” Why?
a lot of respect for
“It sounds a bit clean, and sanitised, and them.” Don’t they get any of this record comsafe. Not rock ‘n’ roll enough. Not raw pany angst then? “Yeah, we do, absolutely.
enough. It’s very clean.” How would you They have to try and sell you to the public
have changed it? “I would have kept takes and you come up against things like having
that had more….(pauses)…” energy? I sug- to do the Radio One roadshow. F**king
gest, “drugs!”, he finishes with a smile. “But worst things alive”, he says with feeling. “But
it’s technically a very good record. That’s just you deal with it, because it’s what you do if
the production side of it, I’ve never been you want to be successful. Everytime you
happier with the songs. ‘All I Want’ (new sin- make a record you have to go around and
gle), ‘Levels’ and ‘Saturday’ are just really, talk to the press and it’s a tour you hate
doing and you’ve got nothing new to tell
them. It’s like “Yeah, we’re a rock band, we
make music, hi, bye now”, that’s what really
happens.” Do the record company make you
do things then? “The record company don’t
make us do anything. We’re not a boy band.
The really big difference is we were already
something that they wanted, we’ve never
changed, they signed us for what we already
were. That’s what they wanted at the time
The band, unlike a lot of their British colleagues do quite well in America. “There was
a time, in America, when if we’d stayed out
there we could’ve done really well. But we
were all having nervous breakdowns, and
needing to go to Alcoholics Anonymous and
stop taking loads of drugs. We thought we
were invincible. We do. We found out that we
weren’t. You can’t go on like that forever.”
But is it still fun? . “I’m having a really good
time at the moment. That’s why I’ve got no
colour in my face, I look really, really thin and
I haven’t shaved for days.” A proper rock star
A lot of people will know Reef as the rockers
on TFI Friday singing ‘It’s Your Letters’ to the
tune of their 1996 hit ‘Place Your Hands’,
about five times every show. Did that annoy
you? “We always thought that was just for
one show. We were a bit pissed off. We
made a mistake. I don’t watch the f**king
show anyway, but someone said you’re on
again. We thought we just did that for the
show because we did it when we did ‘Come
Back Brighter’ (1997 top ten hit) on their
show. We were just in a good mood and they
said “Do you want to do this for one show?””
Did they actually say just for one show?
“Yeah, yeah, but there’s nothing written
down on paper. There’s so many things done
on good faith. In a way, all publicity is good
publicity. But it did irritate me a bit. When we
complained they just played it more. They
actually stopped for a while, but after we
complained (to Chris Evans) they played it
more. But I don’t care. It’s not a big thing. But
it still grates obviously. “’Place Your Hands’
had charted well before that. It was a top 5
record. And it was quite a hard time of year
for a rock band to release a record. We were
up against Madonna and loads of stuff. If it
was in January it would have been a number
Ken is 30, “but still feels fifteen” and has
“never had a proper job”, so what are the
major highs of being in Reef? “Writing some
of the songs”, he says first before mentioning playing in front of hundreds of thousands
of people at festivals Roskilde and the obvious Glastonbury. Do any of the gigs stand
out as being the best? Long pause…”Can’t
think of one gig. It’s like saying “Which roast
dinner was the best?”
Touring is hard work, but Ken certainly
seems to enjoy it. “It’s all good. It’s so good
you don’t want to go to sleep. After you’ve
played, usually you’re really excited, and you
have a drink and you can’t go to sleep and
usually someone gets you off your head anyway!” It seems like Reef are one of the few
real rock ‘n’ roll bands left. And long may it
If you haven’t been alive this week then
you are probably the only ones who
have not heard who are the five members of the Popstars band.
Saturday night the popstar judges
announced that 20yr old Noel Sullivan,
19yr old Suzanne Shaw, 20 yr. old
Myleene Klass, 21 yr. old Danny Felt
and 24yr old Kymberley Marsh were
the chosen five to represent the band.
All the members are currently living in a
secret location in London, where they
are recording and rehearsing a new single which is due for an imminent
Pop made a further come back against
rock this week with the new Atomic
Kitten line up having their first UK number 1 with ‘Whole Again’. It prevented
U2’s ‘Stuck in a moment (you can’t get
out of)’ from getting to the top spot
PHOENIX – If I Ever Feel Better (Virgin)
This is catchy melodic indie-pop at it’s best.
It is a perfect summer tune, that makes you
want to go driving with the top down. Really
smooth and chilled out, it sounds like Ben
Fold’s melodies blended with Jamiroquai
beats. Taken from debut album ‘Untitled’,
this is a fantastic track. See them live at
London’s LA2 on January 25th. 9/10 A.W.
TERRORVISION – D’ya Wanna Go
Faster? (Total Vegas)
Terrorvision are back with a stormin’ new
single from the album ‘Good To Go’, out on
february 5th. You can hear the influence of
Prodigy producer Neil McLellan with a fastpaced punky rock tune. Although
Terrorvision seem to be turning into a bit of a
novelty rock band with singles like this and
‘Tequila’, they do it well, much better than
most. This isn’t quite as good as ‘How To
Make Friends And Influence People’ era
tracks ‘Oblivion’ and ‘Middleman’, but it still
rocks. Play it loud. 8/10 A.W.
U2 – Stuck In A Moment You Can’t Get
Out Of (Island)
The second single from ‘All That You Can’t
Leave Behind’ is another example of U2’s
never-ending talent for writing good songs…
Other bands who have been going on for as
long as they have don’t write songs half as
good as this one! 8/10 O.C.
LSK – The biggest fool (Sony)
This is another power-filled soulful track from
a band that deserve far more widespread
recognition than they’re getting at the
moment. Catchy chorus and a quality vocal
throughout. Nice. 8/10 M.S.
ALPINE STARS – Interlaken (Faith and
Hotly tipped as the best new dance act,
‘Interlaken’ just shows why. Like an Air with
beats ‘Interlaken’ is full of electronic bleeps
and blips that would put Kraftwerk to shame
and the listener is drawn in by an insatiably
catchy melody that wont let you go. Great
song. 8/10 S.R.
FINLEY QUAYE – When I Burn Off Into
The Distance (Epic)
This track is a real surprise, starting with
Suede-esque guitars, moving into a laid
which reached number 2 and lasts
weeks number1 one Limp Bizkits
‘Rollin’ dropped to number 4.
Gatecrasher has announced they are
playing a series of events over the
Easter weekend with the likes of Carl
Cox, Seb Fontaine and Darren
Emerson playing. The event begins on
13th April in Birmingham and will call in
at Belfast on the 14 th and in Scotland on
the 5 th.
However, the venue for
Scotland has yet to be decided.
It has been revealed this week that Rod
Stewart, the ageing rocker, has had a
cancerous lump removed from his
throat in an operation last April. After
the operation Stewart revealed that it
has taken nine months for his singing
voice to return although he has been
able to talk normally. He was worried
back funky sound, with moments very reminiscent of the Beatles. This song was
apparently written in a hotel bar, no doubt
after a few bevvies, which reflects the feelings of this song: relaxed, pensive and a tad
emotional. 8/10 J.K.
KINGS OF CONVENIENCE – Winning A
Battle, Losing The War (Source)
Part of the so-called ‘New Acoustic’ scene,
the Kings Of Convenience are a Norweigen
duo. They play heartbreakingly lovely songs
like this single taken from their debut album
‘Quiet Is The New Loud’. That says it all really. The single is full of plucked acoustic guitar melodies and soft vocals. It’s gorgeous.
T. POWER – Running Featuring Amaziree
(Botchit and Scarper)
Apparently this is break beat – tuff base and
breaks with a powerful deliverance of female
vocals and grace – or so the blurb says.
Whatever, it’s a fantastic tune and that’s
what matters. 8/10 J.K.
FATBOY SLIM feat MACY GRAY –
Well, you have all heard this before haven’t
you? Nothing for me to say really except that
this is surely one of the best singles from the
Fatboy’s album ‘Halfway Between The
Gutter And The Stars’: with its soothing
piano line, weird chants and Macy’s distinctive singing, this is Norman’s production
genius at its finest. 8/10 O.C.
MY VITRIOL – Always (Infectious)
This should be My Vitriol’s year with this single taken from debut album ‘Finelines’ out on
March 5th. An obviously talented rock band,
My Vitriol have punky guitar and intelligent
lyrics. ‘Always’ was first released as a 700
limited edition single available only via mailorder in 1999 and definitely deserves a
proper release. The band tour in February
ending with a gig at London’s ULU on March
1st. Catch them before they go supersonic.
STARSAILOR - Fever (Chrysallis)
The next in the new generation of "a bit like
Coldplay". Sedate acoustic tinged emotional
indie, tailor made for a grey bedsit generation. Another representative of British
reserve in the face of ham fisted dare to be
dumb metal invading from the States. 7/10
SLUDGEFEAST – Rock n’ Roll (Fuzzbox)
This debut album from these south
Londoners, with its brash, unpolished sound
that his “distinctive voice” would never
Finally this week it has been rumoured
this week that Elton John and rapper
Eminem could be performing a duet
together. The most unlikely duet this
year is apparently occurring at the
Grammy awards on 21 st February in
LA. The pair apparently expressed a
“mutual admiration” for one another and
the duet is “definitely happening”
according to a friend of Johns. “Both
Elton and Eminem are really excited
Single of the Week
28 DAYS – Rip it up (Mushroom)
The song has definitely grown on me
over the week and has stopped sounding like a cheap Offspring ripoff
(although the 1 st B-side does still sound
like the Foo Fighters). The main problem is that the drums sound like a cheap
drum machine, and the guitars sound
like they were recorded in a bedroom.
Listen to it and make your own mind up,
since I STILL haven’t made mine up
yet…actually, the 2nd B-side (“The right
place”) should have been the main
song. It kicks ass!!! 10/10 J.J.
is a direct take on the likes of Five, Westlife
and all the other s*** that clogs up the
charts… The album sounds like MotorHead
in their early days, with a hint of Stooges:
raw energy, killer distortion and LOUD!. It
seems like they are saying: look here you
gabbling-rosyfaced-manufactured pile of
s*** (Westlife, Britney et al.) learn how to
ROCK! 7/10 O.C.
GRANDADDY – The Crystal Lake (V2)
Originally released in May last year, ‘The
Crystal Lake’ has been re-released following
the success of debut LP ‘The Sophtware
Slump’. It is a lovely guitar-led tune with
swirling loops adding an extra dimension.
Grandaddy excel at witty lyrics which are
sung in wacky, slightly American-country
style vocals (but here that’s a good thing –
honest). The B sides aren’t up to much
though, so I would say go and buy the
album. 7/10 A.W.
MO SOLID GOLD - Personal Saviour
Mo solid Gold arrived on the scene in mid2000 and have been popular with crowds
supporting bands on tour. This track is full of
life with slick melodies. If you saw them live
at the Union you’ll know they can perform.
ETIENNE DE CRECY – Am I Wrong? (XL
Am I Wrong is the first single to be taken
from the recently released ‘Tempovision’
album. It is a innovative disco track with distinct fuses of house and groove. De Crecy is
renowned for his expert production and the
single and two B Sides are proof that he is
one of the best and most influential producers in Europe in the last ten years. 7/10 M.S.
FEEDER – Buck Rogers (Echo)
A great song with a really positive vibe.
“He’s got a brand new car, looks like a
Jaguar”.. Okay, so he’s got a flashy new car,
never mind, we’ll “grow ourselves new skin,
(and) get a house in Devon” – that’s the spirit, boys! 7/10 J.K.
TINDERSTICKS – What Is A Man?
This limited edition single was recorded for
use as the theme song for the BBC drama
‘The Sins’. It is a Four Tops cover, featuring
the smooth vocals and weird instrumentation
you would expect from Tindersticks. The
band will be releasing their fifth studio album
in the first half of 2001, with an extensive
tour of the UK accompanying it. Look forward to that. 7/10 A.W.
ASH – Shining Light (Infectious Records)
Ash return to the fray after almost a 2 year
break with what can only be described as
Ash back to their best with shimmering guitar, rock overtones and all backed by the
Irish charm of Tim Wheelers vocals. Shining
light is a simple love song turned into another Ash anthem which takes them back to
sounding like their ‘1977’ days. 7/10 S.R.
EMILIANA TORRINI – To be free (One little Indian)
Emiliana Torrini is a 23 year old half
Icelandic, half Italian chanteuse singer who
has been turning heads across Europe
throughout last year. This single is in collaboration with Tore Johansson (of Cardigans
fame) and consequently has a very recognizable sound. Torrini’s voice is also very
similar to another famous Icelandic singer…
nuff said. 7/10 M.S.
TALIB KWELI & HI-TEK – The Blast
“You pronounce my name Kweli.. Any questions?” Well, yeah.. how come we’ve never
heard of you? This relaxed hip hop track is
quite a gem. Shuffling beats and velvety
base are combined with Kweli’s lyrics and
the soulful vocals of Vinia Mojica, with fantastic results. 7/10 J.K.
EVERLAST – Black Jesus (Tommy Boy)
The hip-hopper that gave us “Whitey Ford
Sings The Blues” is back with a razor sharp
single with hefty guitar riffs and thumping
hip-hop beats… a winner! 7/10 O.C.
DAVID MORALES FEATURING JULIET
ROBERTS – Needin’ U II (Manifesto)
This apparently is a “re-mastered, re-mixed,
re-worked” version of club classic ‘Needin’
U’. It sounds pretty much like the original to
me. Still a dancefloor stomper, but don’t
expect anything new. 5/10 A.W.
DARIO G - Dream To Me (Mercury)
This single is a remix of the Cranberries original version. Basically it has had the standard club beat and phased sounds added. It
will probably be a hit in the clubs but will only
appeal to dance fans. 5/10 N.M
JJ72 – October Swimming (Lakota)
Darlings of the music press, JJ72, have
been dubbed the most intense new artists of
the British Isles. Frankly, this track is not all
that amazing but in spite of not living up to
the hype, it’s not a bad song. 5/10 J.K.
LOWFINGER – Go Go Me A Big Pop
As far as I can tell, this is a song about
Japan being great because it has violent cartoons and heavy metal. This doesn’t exactly
stretch the intellect, but then it’s not supposed to. According to the record company,
Lowfinger are the first rock band in ages
“that come pervertedly body painted in glorious, luxurious technicolour”. Not sure about
that – to me the band (which incidentally
have band members with names such as
Shaggy, Wally and Nobby), play novelty
indie-pop. It’d sound great after a few
drinks in the bar, but otherwise don’t bother.
The Japanese music scene has hardly made
much of an impact in Britain and this debut
single from Yongen could explain why.
Whispers and Knives is a beautifully crafted
song creating an evocative wide screen
soundscape. However, this blend of beauty
and grandiose leaves a feeling of emptiness
with nothing to fill the space. Whispers are
too understated to fill this gap and will just go
by unnoticed perhaps someone needs to
start shouting. 5/10 S.R.
THE SMUT PEDDLERS – Porn Again
The Smut Peddlers are the hip-hop equivalent of Alex from ‘A Clockwork Orange’ as
they revel in smut, filth and ultra violence.
However, the big difference between the
Anthony Burgess character is that Burgess
writes with art where as the Smut Peddlers
know no poetry and the smut just gets dirtier
and the violence harder. Still its supposed to
be it is hip-hop. 5/10 S.R.
DUM DUMS – Army of two (Good
This is the fourth single from the guitar boyband. It is annoyingly plain and seems to
have stepped back at least five years into
the brit-pop era. Having said that it will probably be loved by teenage girls. I predict it will
be the theme tune for a TV drama soap in
the very near future. 5/10 M.S.
ORB – Once More (Universal Island)
Very ambient, trancey stuff as you would
expect from the Orb. The single is taken
from the album ‘Cydonia’, out some time
soon. This comeback single is a bit disappointing, not up to their usual standard as it’s
actually quite dull, and sounds a bit like Enya
to me (it even has a sample of running water
noises). The promo includes the famous
Album of the Week
LUKAN – Lukan (Depth Records)
The new album from Lukan features 10 dynamic
new songs filled with their trademark big riffs and
arena drums, big choruses and intelligent, soulful
lyrics… Lukan rock, and that, nowadays, is an
extremely precious commodity! Keep a look out
for them, they are going to be huge. 7/10 J.H.
THE VEGASTONES – Love hotel (V2)
Hmm. This is the kind of band and album that
puzzles you for ages. Are they ok or lame? Well
the album is very dominated by slow lo-fi rock bal-
MARK B & BLADE – The
This track is fantastic. An infectiously catchy tune, teamed with
a gritty description of the realities
of the music industry. Hailing
from South London, Mark B &
Blade are threatening to go
where no man has gone before
and bring British hip hop into the
mainstream. They are receiving
support from XFM and many of
the DJs at Radio One, and are
about to go on tour with their new
buddies, Feeder (unfortunately,
they’re not playing London).
“You’re about to enter a higher
level dimension”. It won’t be long
before ‘The Unknown’ are breaking through and becoming The
known. 9/10 J.K
Danny Tenaglia mix of ‘Little Fluffy Clouds’.
Now this is what the Orb should be sounding
like. It is a fantastic, ten minute version of a
brilliant tune and is much better than the single. 9 for that, but for the title track: 4/10
JAY-Z – I Just Want To Love You (Give It
To Me) (Mercury)
Quite how this guy manages to get in the
charts is a mystery: his hip-hop is bland,
commercial bull-****. However, I am sure
that as with previous releases, this will be a
hit. Sad, very sad. 4/10 O.C.
AMEN - Too Hard To Be Free (Virgin)
Amen sound like Metallica without the skill or
the ideas, an at best average rock bluster
with a serious issue of style over content.
Expect to find them on mid-afternoon at
Reading Festival this year with their 14 year
old "rebel" fans in the moshpit. 3/10 M.M.
with usual string compliments. However when the
material is more up beat it is catchy and clever. A
band to watch out for perhaps. 6/10 M.S.
GRASS-SHOW - Vertigo sampler (Flunk
Swedish-based Grass-Show have been around
for quite some time; despite this, their success
has been limited to Sweden. They did enjoy brief
Radio 1 airplay a few years back. Their sound is
far from unique; Mansun fans will be able to draw
almost immediate comparisons. In particular title
track ‘Vertigo’ sounds distinctly familiar. This is not
necessarily bad, as ‘Vertigo’ grabs your attention
immediately. This is a good collection of songs
that suggest the album will be well worth a look
when it is released on the 12th February. 6/10 A.R.
IDRISSA DIOP – Conscience collective (Mikeli
Idrissa Diop is a vocalist/percussionist from
hearing ‘Pop Idiots’ is something like the pot
calling the kettle black because pop idiots
are exactly what Alaska J are. Riding on the
Blink 182 punk pop phenomenon, they combine the attitude of punk (or to them shouting
and load guitars) with pop melodies and they
sound like a Top Shop Sex Pistols with crap
songs. 3/10 S.R.
NELLY – E.I. (Universal)
This is a blatant rehash of his last single
‘Country Grammar’, only it appears to have
guest vocals by the tellytubbies. 3/10 J.K.
CHAKA DEMUS AND PLIERS –
Woohoo! The comeback single you’ve all
been waiting for is finally here. Hurrah!! I’m
not sure how long they’ve been away, but
the style hasn’t changed. It’s still reggae-lite
that’d have Bob Marley turning in his grave.
It’s quite horrible really. And, joy!! You get
garage mixes too! Avoid at all costs. 1/10 A.W.
ALASKA J – Pop Idiots (London Records)
The first thing that springs to mind when
Senegal. His new album fuses traditional African
music with jazz and funk in the same way as Nitin
Sawhney has done with Indian music. The idea is
exciting but the result is, unfortunately, an overproduced cheesy funk. Not for lovers of Limp
Bizkit. 6/10 M.S.
TURIN BRAKES – The Optimist LP (Source)
Whilst rock is supposed to be the big thing this year, at
the other end of the scale bands are starting to get
noticed what with Badly Drawn Boy and Coldplay entering the charts recently and likely to join them soon is
Turin Brakes. The Optimist LP is an album full of murky
despair and anxiety. However, like a Shakespearean
tragedy at the bottom of it all there is hope as on ‘save
me’ Ollie Knight sings “pulling me out of this mystery
making me breath again” and on ‘The Door’, “there’s a
much better place”. Turin Brakes consist of Ollie Knight
and Galle Paridjanian and together they write songs with
more despair than Thom Yorke and with more beauty
than Jeff Buckley. This is certainly something worth
being optimistic about. 8/10 S.R.
SCANNERFUNK – Wave Of Light By Wave Of
A departure from the more abstractly invigorating
experimental work that they are more usually
recognised for, this album seeks to unite the hip
with the brain. Sculpting a sound that twists state
of the art technology in gloriously unconventional
ways, this C.D ignites flaring beats with symphonic strings, fluttering electro rhythms with melancholic minimalism. The future of funk is here. 8/10 O.C
STEPHEN MALKMUS - Stephen Malkmus
(Double Six/Universal Island Music)
Stephen Malkmus fronted college band Pavement
before their split in 1999. Pavement were fortunate, they enjoyed both critical acclaim and a cult
following during their career. Their album Slanted
and Enchanted (1992) often appears in best of
lists for the 90’s. Malkmus has been well advised;
like most artists embarking on a solo career after
the split of a successful band, he has retained
enough past influences to keep the old fans on
board. No new ground is tread; I can’t help thinking Malkmus bottled it when putting this album
together. It feels too much like a well-planned
business project. This is an American album,
more likely to do well there than here. American
influence can give a record added appeal, unfortunately not in this case. I’ll be very surprised if
this makes any sort of impact in the UK.
Pavement fans will buy this regardless; everyone
else should try before they buy. 5/10 A.R.
TERRORVISION - Good To Go (Total
This fifth studio album from Terrorvision starts off
as it means to go on – rockin’, or so they’d have
us believe anyway. The first single taken from the
album ‘D’Ya Wanna Go Faster?’ is a great start
and a stomping tune, the best one here. ‘Friends
and Family’ contains the rather charming line
“Party over here, f**k you over there. It’s alright
now, because I just don’t care.” But after the
promising start, you realise that most of the songs
sound the same, except for the ballads, and these
aren’t great. “Love song” ‘Sometimes I’d Like To
Kill Her’ is actually quite dull. There is a horrible
moment in the middle of the album on ‘Fists Of
Fury’, which is a guitar line dancing song (and yes
it is as bad as it sounds – Terrorvision do Steps is
not a good thing). The album is full of average pop
rock songs. And from a band that used to write
great pop songs (‘Middleman’ and particularly
‘Oblivion’), you can’t help feeling a bit let down.
Could do better. 5/10 A.W.
SUCONA – No excuses (Conversion studios)
This is a debut album from a south-eastern band
who are hoping to expand their horizons. Their
sound is very guitar based with funk influence and
despite good lead vocals the material doesn’t
have much innovation or potential. I can picture
them being a full-time professional support band.
ANDY SMYTHE – Changing seasons
I’m sorry, I refuse to hold back. THIS IS DIRE.
Utter meaningless, musicless drivel that a rabid
monkey could produce. His voice tears at my ears
like a pneumatic drill, his lyrics have caused my
friends and I literally hours of amusement, but
also serious pain. My personal favourite track is
‘the Russians are coming’. Avoid like the plague.
This weeks reviews are brought to you by: Joey
Jordison, Marshall Mathers, Oliver Chermeros,
Alex Read, Anna Wheeler, Judith Knox, and many
more but i ve forgotton their names -oops music
Jesus, and You
Nicolas Cage, like a windshield violated by the rape
of pedestrian skull, is a multifaceted entity. In his
many cinematic roles - asthmatic revolutionary,
geisha slut-boy, and of course his deathless performances as the Milkybar Kid - la Cage has proved himself a veritable semipermeable membrane of acting
But key to his success has been his ability to retain a
hapless air that implies the presence, beneath all that
guile, of a little boy, asking for the love of his audience. As Puckish a starlet as ever could be hoped to
be found amongst the reptilian alliance of the
Hollywood stud-farms, Nic Cage brings his charms to
Sunday's feature presentation at Oscar Film Unit,
"Gone In 60 Seconds".
A thrillingly turbocharged action feature featuring
rather a lot of cars, a review of "Gone In 60 Seconds"
just begs to be slathered with the sort of hyperbole
trademarked by gormless erectiles who type breathless, dilatory prose concerning SUVs and this year's
new Jaguar - and use expressions like "It's all car!",
as if to differentiate it from a new model of MercedesBenz which is 32% boat.
As fast, slick, and cutting-edge as one would expect
from the producer of "Enemy Of The State", "Gone In
Sixty Seconds" is a high-speed and high-thrills
motion picture from beginning to end. With a plot that
can only be considered unquestionably insane,
"Gone In Sixty Seconds" offers the best chance to
see lots and lots of very very fast car chases since
the last John Frankenheimer film.
OFU shall be screening "Gone In Sixty Seconds" at
8pm in Lecture Theatre G on Sunday the 11th of
Meanwhile, in OTHER, BREAKING NEWS, we
proudly unveil our campaign of OFU Events. In a
fearless bid to remind Surrey students of the matchless beauty of the world outside campus - and don't
pretend you don't need it. OFU have organised a Big
Fun Day Out to the IMAX cinema in London to see
"Cyberworld 3D", an extraordinary visual extravaganza.
The Big Fun Day Out is going to take place on
Sunday the 18th of February, and you can get more
information/sign up for it at any OFU or UAC film
between now and then. It's bound to mean more
thrills than a cardboard tube stuffed with greased
hamsters, so come along and have a good time.
If you need a better idea of what to look forward to,
check out http://www.imax.com/cyberworld/
Gone in 60 seconds
University Arts Cinema this week presents to the
world at large the epic spectacle of Mexican vampirism in Guillermo del Toro's "Cronos". Antique dealer Jesus finds among his hoard a curious golden egglike instrument which tacitly promises the opportunity
to gain immortality.
Meanwhile, unbeknownst to Jesus, a dying millionaire is somewhat eager to stave off the chilly fingering of Death, and has thusly dispatched his son Angel
(sadly not that one) to obtain the golden instrument in
the hope of indefinitely postponing his imminent
An elegant and highly atmospheric film, "Cronos" is a
fascinating and absorbing take on the vampire
mythos - and gains much of its credibility, like Kathryn
Bigelow's "Near Dark", by promptly jettisoning much
of its gothic trappings. Like "Near Dark", "Cronos"
roots itself firmly in the now and present... and is all
the more powerful for it.
University Arts Cinema shall be screening "Cronos"
at 8pm on Wednesday.
This week's OFU column was contributed by Erasure
and remixed by Fugazi.
Life, Gossip, & the Universe
There is a complete lack of juiciness
this week! Apparent of a couple of
problems in house 65 Uni court, we
haven't heard anything on the
grapevine. Get it together people!!
Boy George, didn't fail to impress us
with his choice of hat on friday, and
the next little tale shows that Clare
was just as impressed with the
House 65 certainly had its ups and
downs, the corrider smelling of sick
after one particular naughty first
year spent a night at the union,
sounds like the price dcrease of
beer has certainly done the trick.
And not only that to deal with, but a
visit to the hospital as well. Little
boys will have their fights won't
Benny, was it a stroke to the face
that contributed to your tongue
sandwich or merely a common intererest of physical chemistry that got
the lurve vibe tingling on Friday. Do
I hear the pitter patter of curly haired
ginger babies, Clare Apple-tree? Or
do you have another target in mind!
Friday night was a very promising
evening, well done the union, look-
ing good at long last!! Pity about the
dancers on stage though, now we
realise it takes guts and ambition to
get up there and strut your stuff, but
a little bit of advice never goes
amiss, get a routine! I am sure there
is a job for you in Bojanglez, so don't
be too dismayed.
Sorry but thats all we've got for this
week, apart from looking forward to
the phantom flinger, keep those
by Rich W
Just a quick note to start off: should anyone notice any spelling
mistakes in this week’s offering, then do not fear for they are put
there deliberately. You may have observed that we, the lovely
barefacts pigeon chested abattoir creepers, have got ourselves a
proof reader, so I’m simply testing him out and making sure the
man is up to scratch. Believe you and me, if he’s not, I’ll have
some mighty harsh words to say to him.
Anyway, on with the show...
...Friday night television when you get back after what could have
been a heavy evening out at the union - there really is nothing
better: unarseful drivel that instigates boundless philosophical
conversations between drunken people who have absolutely no
intention of going to bed until they are sick: in a word, fantastic.
(Not as fantastic as a girlfriend, granted, but then again, I wouldn’t know...and I really should stop mentioning that)
Caught on Camera
Take Baywatch - brilliant. There’s attractive women in bikini’s for
the men and fit six-pack possessing men for the women (vice
versa if that’s the way you happen to swing). Superficially speaking, you can’t beat it, but entertainment wise, look no further than
Now I know it hasn’t been the same since Phillipa Forrester left
some time ago and that blonde floozy took her place, but I beg
you to look past that and stay with me here - as far as entertainment goes, it’s unsurpassable: mindless violence, willing destruction and some bloke shouting so much you’d be forgiven for
thinking he’s a long way away. All this and it leads to the best
discussions when you’re drunk. For example, take the conversation discussing the best design for a robot - just a couple of
Friday’s ago, a few friends and myself were talking about this
very subject, finally deciding it would be best to make a robot with
a drill - that way it could penetrate the other robot’s outer shields
and damage all of their circuitry, meaning they could continue no
further. (This was preferred to the idea of an incendiary device,
which, although only able to be used once, would blow up the
other robot and be a lot more fun).
It was then suggested that instead of having just the robot, you
could perhaps make a robot with a transparent shell so that you
could place your pet cat or hamster inside it and look at how it
reacts - that way you could interest the poor little kids that get
dragged along by their engineery-type fathers. So instead of
Robot Wars you could have “Pet Animals In Robot Wars”.
This Week’s Personals
- Big Sister, you are being
-Are you....weak, fat, violent and
- Phantom Flinger we know who you
-Big Sister, I know who you are, I’ll
see you real soon, Love Phantom
- 'YOU GO AND GET THE
DRINKS, I'M OFF TO PULL SOME
BIRDS!!' - Rob at his
- To Clare, Jon, Steve & Wendy, I
miss you tons and hopeyou are all
hunky dorey! Love from Charlie x
-ELI, WILL YOU DO THE FANDANGO
-"Feeney did you get that hat!
-Get well soon J! Good luck with the
blood transfusion and facial reconstruction.
- Finland, America, Watford! Where
to next Pinnochio (Mike)?
- "Fat Busters" AGM - Friday @
6pm in One-Stop. Phone Trim Andy
53138 for details.
- Jonnnnnnyyyy Fartpants, Johnny
fartpants, johnnny fartpants, weee
love you, from the girl with all the
material from the Park Lane!
- Oi, Frisbe get your act together
and pull that someone - DD
-I wonder if this is being proof read,
if not then - yes it is and therefore
thats why your last sentenance is
being totally scraped - ed
- Double Latin Homework is it,
-Hmmm, I always did think two was
quite a handful, don’t you JE
- God, I am sooooo boredddddd
-Fly half Dr Spock...who’s been a
naughty boy then???
- I hate personals....they are so boring nowadays
-To our SFB, naughty gened friendKimbo of 149!Have you cleaned the
- Lukeboy, how could you?
- Who is Funkyberry?
- One for the lads, SH25
- What is Funkyberry?
--is Gavin the original butterfly man?
- Friday 9th February is No Wave
night in the HRB....so come on
down and have a laugh
- Why Funkyberry?
Then, of course, the natural progression would be to do away
with the remote controlled and battery powered robots and
instead replace the power with the pet; for instance, you could
have two (non-smoking) hamsters running around in hamster
wheels moving the robot over the arena floor. All you’d need a
human for would be to activate the weapons. The only problem
with this would be that fatalities would probably occur - imagine if
we had the drilling weapon mentioned earlier...all it would take is
one unfortunate ‘spearing’ and you’d have a dead hamster on
Although, since we’re on the BBC here, we could always combine
a “Pet Animals In Robot Wars” programme with an “Animal
Hospital - Robot Wars Casualties Special” couldn’t we? Imagine,
Rolf Harris would come on, talk in his strangely soothing
Antipodean accent and go “...do you remember little Fluffy the
hamster who was so horribly pierced by a drill on last week’s
show? Well, we’ll let you know how he’s getting on in just a little
while”...and then it would go on to Dave the guinea pig who was
set on fire by one of the flame-throwers during a particularly violent final battle in which a goldfish was somehow swallowed by a
homing pigeon. Then it could go on to Harold the cat who so
unfortunately broke his leg having being catapulted 30 feet into
the air by a notably fierce house robot. You could also have the
particularly moving story of the six-year old owner of Snowy the
rabbit who, having seen her pet rabbit minced by a vicious metal
contraption, decided to forget about animals and concentrate on
her diet of anti-depressants instead.
...all this and then you’d have Rolf coming back on saying; “and
by the way, Fluffy’s dead”.
Let’s face it - that’s entertainment.
-meet Bready, a 29 year old construction worker!!!
- ti he, i am off
If you see it on the BBC, not only should you be surprised, but
you should also remember you saw it here first.
I've been told that some employers
ask you to give a presentation as
part of their selection procedure.
Have you got any advice in case I'm
asked to do one?
word on the day. Far better to write the key
points on a series of numbered index cards.
As you come to each point during your talk
it will remind you what to say.
Perhaps I could start by explaining why
employers use this exercise. The key things
which they are looking for are clarity of
expression, good time-keeping, effective
organisation of your material, and self-confidence. If they can also obtain some evidence that you have a sense of humour
then that's a bonus!
The beginning and end of your talk are the
crucial parts. Try to grab their attention with
something different from the usual "I'd like to
talk to you about .......". Why not try something like "It was once said that ......." or "It is
not commonly known that....." as a slightly
more unusual way of introducing your subject. A powerful opening sentence is a great
confidence booster and will help you get into
stride for the rest of your talk. Your finish
should be equally impressive because that
will leave the examiners with a positive opinion about you.
You are usually told in advance what you will
be required to talk about. It could be on a
subject of your choice, or maybe a leisure
interest or it could be related to the job
you're applying for. If you have time, you
can write out the whole thing beforehand but
it's not a good idea to read it out word for
Try to practise your talk in advance if you
can. Get a friend to listen and tell you how
you are coming across. Work hard to get
the talk into the time you've been allowed.
You will probably be penalised if you don't or you might even be cut off in mid-sentence. Highly embarrassing!
Finally, when you get around to
delivering the real thing - remember to project your voice so that
everyone can hear and try to
make eye contact with each person in the room at some stage
during your talk. That will make
them feel personally involved and
they will be all the more appreciative.
As ever, remember that a presentation usually forms just part of the
assessment. If it goes badly, try to
put it behind you and throw yourself into the next activity.
Employers seldom fail candidates
on the basis of one poor performance.
Community Action Group
For all you people that having been waiting
eagerly for the results of the balloon race.
The furthest balloon went ended up in
Great Walsingham in Norfolk not bad. So
here are the winners
The University of Surrey Students'
Union needs energetic and enthusiastic
students who are interested in render ing their services for a better cause.
This group will be known as the
Community Action group.
ly, fund raising and other activities.
What is Community Action?
Community Action includes all type of
voluntary work helping others. This
could include helping the elderly, envi ronmental action, befriending the elder -
"Living for oneself is easy, but living for
others gives you the inner most satisfaction"
1st £200 Dixons Vouchers
2nd £100 HMV Voucher
£50 Tescos Vouchers
£25 Sainsburys Voucher
A Hair Cut at Toni & Guy
A Hair Cut at Essentuals
£10 M&S Voucher
£5 Boots Voucher
Debenhams Teddy Bear
10th Lloyds Bank Umbrella
11th MacDonalds Voucher
12th Personal Stereo
Paul le Herissier
So please come to my new office in the
Students' Union to collect your prizes.
Friday 23rd February
4 pm in the Grant
Date : Sat 24 February
Time : 12:30 pm
Venue: Lady Chapel
(inside the cathedral)
All students who are interested please
contact Abdul Wasey Khan, Community
Action Chairperson at:
24 Madrid Road
Have you had a chance to play golf recently during our mild, dry winter?
Perhaps not! Why not practice your game in the dry environment in the
Sports Centres golf academy. Equipment is provided and the facility is
Free to cardholders.
There will also be another 5 week golf course starting soon on Thursday
evenings at 6.15pm in the Sport Centre.
Are you struggling to achieve your fitness goals? Quantum Health &
Fitness staff are fully qualified in writing fitness programmes to address
your training requirements. Only £10 per programme or £15 with a fitness test.
Bookings can be made by telephone. Ext. 9894 or at the Quantum reception.
There are only a couple of weeks left until the first draw. Application
forms can be obtained from any UniSPORT reception. Be init to winit!
Community Sports Leader Award
Apologies to all those who have expressed an interest in doing this
nationally recognised course that the course dates have still not been
confirmed. The Guildford Borough Council are still negotiating funding for
the course so that it can be heavily subsidised (Students £20, Staff and
Public £40). The course will take place on Wednesday evenings 7.30 –
10 hopefully starting mid February until the end of the semester and will
continue in the summer.
AROMATHERAPY AT OPTIMUM FITNESS
Aromatherapy is the combination of massage
and essential oils, which have many healing
Each blend of oils is individual, determined by the
scents the recipient prefers and by the desired
effect, whether it is to relieve minor ailments, to
pamper with an aromatic beauty treatment, or
simply to ease tension with a full body massage.
For example, if you add Lavender Oil to a hot
bath not only is it relaxing but it also promotes
sleep, while using Rosemary Oil with massage
eases aches and pains.
This treatment would be most beneficial for
those suffering from any of the following;
Muscular aches & pains
Soothing digestive problems
Skin & hair problems
Boosting women’s health
So, if you feel the urge to ‘chill out’ and ‘relax’ why not book an appointment with one of our fully qualified therapists today??? Or for more information and bookings please call us on tel; 01483 452028 or pop into Unisport
1st floor to Optimum Fitness Email HYPERLINK “mailto:[email protected]” [email protected]
We look forward to hearing from you!
Places are still available for University members. Please contact Sally
Edie – s.edie”surrey.ac.uk or tel. 01483 873917.
I hope everyone noticed my deliberate 100th/1000th mistake last
week. What a mess Thursday
turned out to be. Murphy was on
top form as Barefacts arrived no
more than 15 minutes after every-
one had left the union. Double
bookings with the HRB meant we
got promoted into the main Union
and so more people got the chance
to experience the Barefacts team
display their DJ skills which, sadly
are about as good as their photographic skills. Meow!!! I’ve been a
right bitch recently, apologies to
anyone who I have managed to
Cheers to Matt (OFU), Mountain
Walking, Pete (Rowing), and the
American Football guys. Keep battering the competition… to death!
Keep an eye out for a possible
elections special next week featuring Sports Profiles of all the
prospective VP Sports. Also don’t
forget to go along to hustings on
Monday (7ish) to put them all
under pressure and see what they
have in mind for surrey pride.
The British Collegiate American
Football Leagues mid-season
break came to an end on Sunday
as the University of Surrey
Stingers hosted the University of
East Anglia Pirates.
The teams met earlier in the season in Norwich when the Stingers
started well and hung on to a 15-7
Missing a number of key players
Coach Pete Vaughan had to make
several adjustments to the
“Swarm” Defense and it appeared
early on in the game that it would
be an Offensive Shootout.
The Stingers got off to a flying
start as the Swarm got to work with
James Sheppard jarring the ball
loose on the first UEA possesion .
The Stingers offense, led by QB
Ashley Heath, took over and drove
impressively for the first score in
the game. Both Andy Smythe and
Luke Thomas made strong runs,
and WR Ollie Tomlinson made a
vital 3rd down catch, it was Smythe
who opened the scoring from
18yds out breaking several tackles
on his way. After a penalty the
Stingers elected to go for a 2 point
conversion but failed to convert.
Stingers 6 UEA 0.
UEA were not prepared to lay
CARRY ON WINNING
down and give the win to Surrey.
The Pirates came back with an
impressive drive of their own which
was capped off by a 2yd scoring
run. The extra point attempt was
blocked and the score stood at 6-6
at the end of the Quarter.
Both Defenses dug deep and the
offenses struggled to make
progress. Unfortunately at this
point UEA CB Rob Kerr suffered a
fractured ankle which required an
overnight stay at the Hospital (
Surrey Coaches and players wish
Rob a speedy recovery)
The deadlock was broken by a
spectacular link up from 49yds out
as QB Ashley Heath found Luke
Thomas wide open with a pass.
The CB/RB/WR sprinted into the
endzone untouched to put the
home team 12-6 ahead. UEA
blocked the Extra Point kick.To
leave the score at 12-6 at the half.
The second half was typical of
the recent games between these
two teams - uncompromising
defense with both offenses making
progress that protected field position but did not score. Phil
Mcdonald defended two 4th down
passes for the Stingers - both of
which could have been interceptions and Tom Burton actually
made an interception to break up
one UEA series. Dave Skinner, filling in for absent Defensive colleagues, switched sides of the ball
and produced a crucial and crushing QB sack to end another Pirate
Andy Smythe was outstanding at
Running back for the Stingers and
Luke Thomas showed his all round
ability as leading tackler (8) ,
Running back (80yds) and of
course “that” reception.
With 3 time National Champions
Hertfordshire tumbling to defeat
this win puts the Surrey team on
top of their highly competitive
Division. Next week sees them
travel to play off contenders Oxford
- that is followed by a visit to
Guildford of last years beaten Bowl
finalists the Leicester Lemmings
who are currently undefeated.
Head Coach Pete Vaughan said
“ I am delighted with this win, it was
a great all round team performance. Several people stepped up
to fill in for missing players and
their performance today makes us
all the stronger for the tough
games ahead. We have no easy
games in our schedule - but today
shows that this team will battle all
the way to the final whistle.”
S PORTS P ROFILE :
Name & age:
What you look for in a
man or women: HONESTY and loyalty
Availability: Not often
Favourite position (this question applies to relevent sports only – no
innuendo intended honestly): Stroking a coxless four!
Best thing about your sport: Early weekend winter mornings, lycra allin-ones and training 6-7 days a week. Or maybe not! Probably the
Worst thing about your sport: Someone farting in the boat when in the
middle of the river with no escape
Best single moment in your sporting life: Playing infront of 1500 people
on a Christians tour in the Ukraine
Ultimate sporting dream: To win a national event
F OOTIE : U NI S 2 - C HILWORTH 2
Last Saturday saw the mighty 4th
team play their first game of the
Millennium after a 5-week Xmas
break. A superb turnout of 15 players was quickly whittled away by
the numerically challenged 3rds
and we were forced to take on the
league leaders with no subs and
more alarmingly no goalie.
Volunteers for goalie were not
exactly numerous so yours truly
filled in for “Judas” Grant. We started brightly but soon realised that
as well as 11 opposing players, the
referee had decided he might just
side with them too. In the 10th
minute, a bad dive reminiscent of
the Kursk was deemed worthy of a
penalty and we found ourselves 01 down.
However, in a most untypical yet
pleasing manner, we fought back
(literally in the cases of Alex Read,
Mark Shaw, me & Ben Stillwell)
and debutant Tormod managed to
deflect an Andy Bray shot in for a
swift equaliser. Chilworth replied
soon after with an excellent individual goal but we went into the break
knowing we had more in the tank.
The second half should now be
entered into the latest edition of the
Oxford Dictionary as an example of
pride. The back 4 of Bray, Gibson,
Fisher & Kristov were tighter than a
ducks arse, the midfield fought like
Worst injury: Cutting right arm to the bone after falling through glass
window while playing garden bowls.
the Vietcong and Ben & Simon
chased every ball like demented
Alsatians. Simons blistering pace
had caused trouble all game, and
duly slotted the equalizer after
Fizel’s backheel had put him
through. Unfortunately, despite
intense pressure we couldn’t quite
find a winner and the game ended
2-2 with the opposition left to rue 2
dropped points and return to their
inbred farming communities. Man
of the match was Alex “Caged
tiger” Read and confidence for the
BUSA games is higher than a
teenage with a tin of glue.
Sporting idol: Peter Schmeichel
You in three words: mmm donuts – food.
Most embarassing sporting moment:
Capsizing a single scull last
Tip: Drive through stroke with legs, fast hands and easy up the slide.
Hidden aspects to your sport: A coxes nice side!
Worst fear: Drowning
Chancellors or Roots: Chancellors (too many alcohol induced memories)
M OUNTAIN WALKING C LUB R AMBLE O N
Mountain Walking Club leaves
trail of destruction across
(This article was written line-byline by the Mountain Walking Club,
Saturday night at the Barley Mow
pub in Dorset.)
In what can only be expressed as
an act of incredible human
endeavour, the Mountain Walking
Club this weekend conquered the
hostile terrain of the Isle of
We braved the field of mad cows
hanging around the local substation soaking up all those lovely
waves, while miserably hanging
around the stile.
They weren’t miserable, they
were cute! I have a natural affinity
to them – never seen jet black
After yet more muddy and hazardous terrain, more steep hills
and a caravan park, we discovered
an assault course (playground).
Simon, also known as Psycho
(jump-in-the-mud) Nutter No. 1
finally managed to infect us with
his behaviour of a three-year-old
and we spent the next half an hour
on various swings, ropes and seesaws.
After the intensely stimulating
activity of jumping on a plank of
wood on springs (of which, this
reporter hastens to add, not eveyone partook), we surveyed the
extensive list of banned activities.
These included taking photographs of sheep (so we all went to
take some) and, letting dogs off
Whilst most people got plastered
in brown mud, Pete somehow
managed to get caked in a putrid
Incidentally Scratchy Bottom,
through which we walked, is
extremely smooth-sided and
Excess Badger, immobilised
The local alcohol (Badger beers
and fine country wines) is beginning to take its toll on various
members of the MWC; the walk
tomorrow depends on Maddie’s
Shortly before drinking-up time
we weren’t even able to play the
simplest drinking game (apart from
Evan - he had problems right from
Heidi and Andrea enjoyed the
evening very much, enhanced by
the presence of a man in a grey
shirt … or was it a skirt?
Ash you can shee, we’ve all had
a loovely evening drinking at se
Well, we deserved it after our
challenging day where we failed
our summit of 119 metres, and
walked the longest 5 miles ever!