GRATITUDE and Hope - HEART Business Journal For Women

Transcription

GRATITUDE and Hope - HEART Business Journal For Women
WINTER 2010
VOLUME 2 - ISSUE 10
GRATITUDE and Hope
READY FOR A FRESH
START IN 2011?
GET STARTED WITH OUR
HEART JOURNAL EXERCISE!
PROFILING ROSE REISMAN,
GINA LI AND SANDRA LEVITIN
POWERHOUSE WOMEN WITH
UNSTOPPABLE DRIVE!
DISCOVER THE STEPPING STONES
TO SELF-CONFIDENCE™
LIGHTENING UP WITH
TANIS HELLIWELL
MENTORSHIP
FOR
CAREER AND
LIFE
SUCCESS
“Not what we have
But what we enjoy
Constitutes our abundance.”
John Petit-Senn
features 18
Winter 2010 - Issue 10
16 PROFILING POWERHOUSE
WOMEN WITH
UNSTOPPABLE DRIVE
18
21
24
Rose Reisman - Founder of Rose Reisman Catering,
Author of over 18 best selling cookbooks
Gina Li – Director of Asian Markets, Multicultural
Banking,Scotiabank Group
Sandra Levitin - Founder and Editor-in-chief, Kalon
Women Digital Magazine and Kalon Women Radio
32
32 STEPPING STONES TO
SELF-CONFIDENCE
46 LIGHTENING UP
58 LOVE LIFE AND LIFE WILL
LOVE YOU BACK
46
58
48
issue#4.indd 48
HEaRTBuSINESSJOuRNaL.cOM
JaNuaRY/FEBRuaRY 20
inside look
WINTER 2010
Volume 2 Issue 10
IN EVERY ISSUE
6
At the Heart of It
UPFRONT
8 The Joys of Prospecting
9 Presentations Tips for Accountants
10 Take the time to celebrate your successes
11 Timeless words in a changing world
MENTORSHIP
IN STYLE
12 Holiday Style Tips
14 How to Be the Hostess Extraordinaire
this Season!
PROFILE
18 Rose Reisman
21 Gina Li
24 Sandra Levitin
32
36
38
40
44
Stepping Stones to Self-confidence
Emotional Intelligence is Becoming More
Important to Employers
HEART Journal Exercise
Using the MBTI® Tool as a Strategic
Business Resource
Could you Do What They Did? Reflecting on
the Chilean Miners Triumph
PERSONAL DEVELOPMENT
EDITOR’S FEATURE
27 Dig Deep...
46
48
52
54
56
Lightening Up
Chasing the ELUSIVE State of consciousness
Growth – Change – Gratitude
On Gratitude
Gratitude Takes Two
BODY AND SOUL
58 Love Life and Life will Love you Back
ON THE PULSE
60 A Girls Guide to Champagne
EDITOR’S FEATURE
Dig Deep...
27
Winter 2010 – Issue 10
www.HEARTbusinessjournal.com
FOUNDER / EDITOR-IN-CHIEF: BRENDA WOOD
PUBLISHER: EKG MARKETING INC.
CREATIVE (INCLUDING WEB):
ATILA DAMINELLI
GENERAL ADVERTISING SALES
NATIONAL SALES: [email protected]
CIRCULATION, MARKETING, & COMMUNICATIONS
CIRCULATION DIRECTOR: EKG MARKETING INC.
CONTRIBUTING WRITERS:
NICOLE ATTIAS, CHERYL BREUKELMAN, LORNA LONDON, ERIN NADLER, JEFF BORIS, LIZ PALMER, LOIS RAATS,
JUDY BRADT, KAREN WOOLLEY, LISA CALDAS KAPPESSER, DARCEY-LYNN MARC, LYNNE HUSSEY, TAYLOR
WILLIAMS, TANIS HELLIWELL, DOROTHY RATUSNY
EXPERT CONTRIBUTORS AND HEART FEATURE WRITERS:
JACKIE RAMLER, JACLYN WILLIAMS, AMANDA CARDINAL, ZANNE CAMERON, TANIS HELLIWELL,
DR. SUSAN BIALI
ALL SUBSCRIPTION ENQUIRIES:
[email protected]
SUBMISSIONS POLICY:
PROPOSALS AND MANUSCRIPTS MUST BE ACCOMPANIED BY SELF-ADDRESSED ENVELOPES AND SUFFICIENT
POSTAGE OTHERWISE THEY WILL NOT BE RETURNED OR ACKNOWLEDGED. WHILE THE PUBLISHER WILL TAKE
ALL REASONABLE CARE, THEY WILL NOT BE RESPONSIBLE FOR THE LOSS OF ANY MANUSCRIPT, DRAWING, OR
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The opinions expressed herein are those of the respective authors and not necessarily those of HEART Business
Journal for Women® or EKG Marketing Inc. Neither HEART Business Journal for Women® nor EKG Marketing Inc. will
be liable for any damages or losses, however sustained, as a result of the reliance on, or use by a reader or any other
person of, any information, opinions or products expressed, advertised or otherwise contained herein. No part of this
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responsibility for unsolicited manuscripts or other material including colour transparencies.
©2010 HEART BUSINESS JOURNAL FOR WOMEN® ALL RIGHTS RESERVED.
® 2010 HEART BUSINESS JOURNAL FOR WOMEN IS A REGISTERED TRADEMARK OF EKG MARKETING INC.
AT THE HEART OF IT
Brenda Wood, Editor-In-Chief
“Happiness is when
what you think,
what you say,
and what you do
are in harmony.”
Gandhi
I encourage you to work through our HEART BJFW Journal
exercise this issue. Dig deep, be honest and be brave when
thinking about 2011. You are the only one who can make
changes in your life to achieve your goals. You chose – even
if that means you chose to do nothing. I hope you chose
to use this issue as a vehicle for change. Use this issue to
capture your goals, your dreams and to create the action plan
to make it happen.
T
This issue is all about GRATIUTDE; reflecting on
2010 capturing the positive aspects; your successes, your
commitment to growth and your tenacity to see projects
competed. It is also about recognizing the people in your life
that are supporting your dreams and who boost your spirits
making this journey more enjoyable and textured. And while
in that positive, grateful frame of mind, we ask you to think
about the year ahead. What are your goals and dreams;
what’s on your bucket list and who do you want to spend
more time with? The past few years have been challenging
for many individuals, corporations, small business owners
and employees. Instead of looking at this time with despair;
try to see the light within the situation. If you think about the
miners in Chile, try to imagine what they endured and how
they maintained a positive, resilient mentality.
6
HEARTBUSINESSJOURNAL.COM
And when you read about the fabulous women featured in
our profile section this issue; Rose Reismen, Gina Li and
Sandra Levitin, I am confident you will feel inspired and
somewhat in awe of the tremendous challenges each has
overcome to achieve successful and fulfilling careers. And
as with each issue, we have a number of hard hitting articles
from our coaching and career professionals to give you the
tools and discipline needed to reach your goals.
I sincerely hope you enjoy reading and journaling in this issue. I would also like to take this opportunity to thank you once
again for your continued support and readership. I am grateful
to all who have supported HEART BJFW over the past two
years and those who help spread word about our publication.
Your collective support keeps HEART beating. Y
Sincere thanks and warmest regards
Brenda Wood
Editor-in-chief,
HEART BUSINESS JOURNAL FOR WOMEN®
WINTER 2010
This space generously donated. Photo © Brendan Bannon/CARE
If you’re going to mend a war-torn country,
you need the right tools.
When empowered with the right tools and the opportunity to start businesses, women in
Africa can help end conflict. They generate new income, improving conditions for all.
But they need resources to get started. That’s why CARE is working to accelerate access
to basic financial services. Now is the time for action.
She has the power to change her world. You have the power to help her do it.
WINTER 2010
Join
us… CARE.CA | 1-888-324-2234
HEARTBUSINESSJOURNAL.COM
7
UPFRONT
By Cheryl Breukelman
ANNUAL DEBRIEF TOOL
Take the time to cele
your successes
T
Take the time to celebrate
your successes
1. What were your greatest successes?
2. What accomplishments are you most proud of?
3. What did you learn this year?
4. How have you evolved?
5. What are you most grateful for?
Gratitude and cel
his time of year is characteristically
6. Who are the people in your life who have made
workplace is also tim
a time of giving, thanks and
the biggest difference to you this past year?
time this month to
celebration. We spend time with our
7. How have you acknowledged them?
celebrate in your bu
friends and family, exchanging gifts,
8. What important things do you want to accomplish
you spend to take st
taking part in meaningful events and
or change about your business?
rituals. We make time to enjoy life and
9. What do you want most for yourself this and acknowledge su
relevant and meani
one another.
coming year?
Giving, thanks an
In our
business
wetohave
equal
10.What
couldlives,
you do
bring an
more
joy into your
you the chance to fe
opportunity
to experience
and enjoy the
life this
year?
benefits of giving, thanks and celebration
and enjoy your acco
This time of year is characteristically a time of giving, thanks during this holiday time. Typically, we
likely aren’t aware o
and celebration. We spend time with our friends and family,
what
we
do.
“Gratitude
unlocks
the
fullness
of
life,”
says
Melody
Beattie,because you
simply
are eager to complete a task, cross it off
exchanging gifts, taking part in meaningful events and rituals.
best-selling author. “It turns what we have into enough and more. It
andIthaven’t
taken t
ourturns
to-do
list
move chaos
on to
We make time to enjoy life and one another.
denial
intoand
acceptance,
to the
order,next
confusion to clarity.
can
By
doing
so,
you
allo
item
as quickly
asa possible.
turnofa business
meal into a feast,
a house into
home, a stranger into a friend.
In our business lives, we have an equal opportunity to
of our
past,efficiency
brings peace are
for today and
creates
opportunity
to expe
WeGratitude
believemakes
thatsense
speed
and
experience and enjoy the benefits of giving, thanks and
a vision for tomorrow.”
celebration during this holiday time. Typically, we are eager critical, cramming as much as we can into hard work. Would th
to complete a task, cross it off our to-do list and move on to a day
just
to stay
onaretop
of things
in order
to those
Life and
business
all about
relationships;
acknowledge
whoran
play past the fin
the next item of business as quickly as possible. We believe
a part in your success.
thanks toI’m
yoursure
suppliers, your
clients
race?
If there was n
be competitive.
On Expressing
these points,
that speed and efficiency are critical, cramming as much
and your employees strengthens bonds. Whether you send them a gift,
Think of that red rib
people require no convincing.
as we can into a day to stay on top of things in order to be most
take them out for a holiday lunch, mail a card or simply thank them with
competitive. On these points, I’m sure most people require
a handshake for their contributions, it doesn’t matter what you do, it just
no convincing. Gratitude and celebration in the workplace is
makes a difference that you do something.
also time well spent. Take time this month to be grateful and
celebrate in your business life. The time you spend to take
“Running a small business is so frantic that it’s difficult to take time to
stock, evaluate efforts and acknowledge successes is critical,
reflect.” says Simon Geoghegan, president Solutions IT Canada. “Forcing
relevant and meaningful, too.
yourself to do so, and sharing the experience with staff and key partners
can create a real sense of pride and motivation.”
Giving, thanks and celebration allow you the chance to feel
your success and enjoy your accomplishments. You likely
People enjoy being appreciated. Create a connection and show them that
aren’t aware of many of them, simply because you are moving
they are valued.
so fast and haven’t taken time to enjoy them. By doing so,
you allow yourself the opportunity to experience the joy of
Every year, I enjoy taking my clients through this annual debrief tool. I
your hard work. Would the race be as fun if you just ran past
encourage you to take an hour out of your day to reflect on these questions
the finish line into the next race? If there was no red ribbon
before you move forward in 2011. Y
to win? Think of that red ribbon as the time you carve out to
create a sense of gratitude.
HAPPY HOLIDAYS!
Hillfield Strathella
The act of celebration is your record of achievement. It
commemorates the win and creates a new positive memory
to be enjoyed forever. This is part of being alive and enjoying
8
HEARTBUSINESSJOURNAL.COM
Cheryl Breukelman & Associates has coached people in more than
40 organizations across a variety of industries. She can be reached at
[email protected] or (905) 572-6224
WINTER 2010
UPFRONT
your target market: Where does this person shop? What does this person
do for fun? How educated is this person? Where would this person go
out for dinner? What kind of outfit would this person wear on a first
date? Job interview? By bulking up character profiles, you will have a
highly specialized audience and the ability to directly voice your ad to
that audience.
3)Avoid clichés
Cliches are annoying, unimaginative, and cause your audience to
roll their eyes. By using creativity, people have a higher likelihood of
remembering your ad. They rarely walk away from an ad and discuss the
glitzy graphics, but instead repeat that clever slogan or innovative tagline.
Words are precious; don’t waste them.
4)Appeal to emotion; win with logic
How to write ad copy that sells
Over the last couple years, the way people have acquired information
has changed. From Blackberry to iPad, many printing presses, advertisers,
and journalists feared the death of print magazines and newspapers.
When it comes to advertising, powerful words help carry the message,
eliciting an active response from your target market. The evolution of writing
into an age of technology and social networking still relies heavily on the
words you choose to deliver your message. With savvy graphics and cuttingedge technology, some ad campaigns believe that’s all they need to generate
an effective response from their target market.
Picture it now. Sophisticated design flashes on a web page. A tasteful
font style spices the flow of your layout. But clichés or ineffective language
weakens the message. Is the picture really worth “a thousand words”? Not if
the words in your ad don’t achieve an emotional reaction from your reader/
viewer, enticing them to buy your product or service.
So, how do we go back to our roots and replenish the beauty of words in
ads? Consider four solid principles of writing that have succeeded in eliciting
a strong response from audiences for decades.
1)Voice
Voice—a crucial element in good writing—creates powerful messages when
used in the active sense. For example, the tagline “Cheddar is satisfying to your
senses” uses the “to be” verb “is”, weakening the copy. To employ the active
voice, drop the “to be” verb and rely on the one, meaningful verb “satisfy”. The
tagline then becomes “Cheddar satisfies your senses.” The active voice quickly
changes this tagline to something succinct and impactful. Let the verb—in this
case “satisfy”—carry the meaning.
2)Directness
To really sell ad copy, research your audience and deliver what they want
and need to see/hear. Ask yourself a series of questions to better understand
WINTER 2010
People decide to buy things based on emotion and then they justify those
purchases with logic. Effective ad copy reflects the psychology of both
human emotion and rationalization by presenting something that feels
good and then stating why they need to buy that item.
How do you do this? First, jot down the top three to five things that
would make people desire your product. How will others look at them
once they have that product? How will they feel about themselves? How
will it improve their lives?
Next, study your current ad copy. Does it reveal those emotions? Will
it appeal to your audience’s desires? Do you feel like you must purchase
that product when you look at your ad copy? Get a second person to look
at the ad and get them to describe how they feel when they read/hear it.
Finally, add some logic. Get your audience to imagine their life if
they purchase your product. Do they save time? Money? Will they feel
healthier? Sexier? Happier?
For example:
What would you do with savings of $3,000 a year? When you invest in
our insurance program, you can SAVE more than $100 a month! Take
that dream vacation, pay off bills, take a course to advance your career,
and more. Simply call this number and discover how you can start saving
today!
This ad copy encourages the viewer to imagine what they would do with
savings—it appeals to the desire to have some extra cash. It uses logic
to show what they can do with the savings and how much they will save
per year. That way, when they talk about the ad with their friends, they
justify their switch to the insurance company by how much they will save.
In a trend-obsessed world, it’s nice to know we can depend on this
sentiment: good, solid writing is always in style. Y
Lorna London is a writer, blogger, creative producer, and editor. She is
currently Managing Editor of canfitpro Magazine and has held positions
as Director of Public Relations, Marketing Consultant, and Entertainment
News Editor. In 2007, she was one of the 12 finalists in Book Television’s
reality series, The Next Literary Superstar, based on the international
3-Day Novel Writing Contest. She is currently working on feature
screenplays, a docu-series, and an original one-hour television drama.
Visit her website at www.lornalondon.com and check out her blog at
www.londonstime.blogspot.com.
HEARTBUSINESSJOURNAL.COM
9
Photo by Dmitriy Shironosov - Shutterstock®
UPFRONT
PresentationCommunication
Tips for Accountants
Successful
Need to deliver a professional presentation but feel discomfort before an
During
Tough
Economic
audience? Many
Accountants
enjoy the process Times
of writing out, point-by-point,
upfront
form a connection with others and this should not be
under-estimated.
what they are going to say but few understand the power of impromptu (offfigure, you4.will
feel tremendous
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speaking
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and
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create
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your duty
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lines
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you
do
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is
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surge
in
layoffs
talk, and effective voice projection and body language during the talk. It is not
pockets or crossed. It involves using your hands naturally
open withwhile
staff you
so they
can better your
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across
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poses
only what
youindustries
say, but how
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say it.challenges in communicating
are explaining
By displaying
eye
these goals
with
ongoing
training
initiatives.
with your staff. In addition, remaining employees are becoming
contact, you will also have a better posture. Remember to
so fearful with the economic downturn that they could be losing
breath when you are speaking and take necessary pauses
5 PRESENTATION
TIPSSoFOR
Training and
allow businesses
to overall
survivebody
and language
prosper
their
daily focus and motivation.
how ACCOUNTANTS:
do you successfully
after consulting
making important
points. Your
during a sliding
economy.
While
it
is
one
of
the
first
things
businesses
communicate changes in your business and promote a positive
will display confidence.
1. USE THE
POWER OF 3 RULE:
cut, sales and marketing initiatives should be maintained, and
workplace
culture?
When structuring your talk, have a clear introduction, body and conclusion.
training is5.part
of the equation.
It boosts“SO
the WHAT?”
overall morale, and it
ANSWER
THE QUESTION
Introduce
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audience
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therenois more
no easy
to communicate
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makes individuals
feel
worthy
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effective
at
end ofthey
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properly.
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3 easythe
to facts
understand
examples
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throughout
your
gently
stating
in a few
short phrases.
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for
This is exactly
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order
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are
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that group.” Pause, and allow the information to settle. Always be
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be able
to sell their
as a result?”
Thisprofessionals
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2. PROJECT
VOICE CLEARLY:
empathetic
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Jane’s state of shock and discontent,
ideas more
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usual
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powerful
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at
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support staff
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overused
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sound
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noteflatbyordiscussing
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Change will
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her package and by reinforcing her knowledge and skills that will be
directly
at: only answer for survival and prosperity during
DISPLAY
CONTACT:
these tough economic times. It would be wise to make training an
a3.strong
assetEYE
to her
in the future. Always demonstrate sincerity.
Accountants are
knowninformation
for being detailed-oriented
exact note takers.
ongoing part
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[email protected]
Learn to glance at your 3 key points on paper and form eye contact with
www.nicoleattias.com
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in www.NicoleAttias.com.
incentre
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their Take
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As an authority
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MARCH/APRIL 2009
10
HEARTBUSINESSJOURNAL.COM
HEARTBUSINESSJOURNAL.COM
13
WINTER 2010
uPFront
UPFRONT
L
to
h
w
h
Y
f
H
The Joys of Prospecting
Handling first Impressions
Many entrepreneurs and corporate professionals have great ideas,
great social networking skills, but fathom the idea of cold calling
or hustling around town for new business. They stick to their
comfortable and usual way of doing things. The thought of having
to pick up the phone and speak to a complete stranger may not sit
well inside. Some may be fearful about it due to potential rejection.
Others may feel they are somehow “beyond” making cold calls.
4.
5.
Ask for the appointment and expand on
what you do in person.
Follow up within 24 hours of meeting
someone worthwhile.
What your Handshake Says About you
Cold calling can be fun, exciting and fresh if viewed as something
effective for your business. It has yielded results for years and will
continue to do so. There are no right and wrong ways of doing it.
You need to find out what works best for you and your business.
Being consistent by making your calls regularly and persistent by
not giving up after the first “No” is a first step in getting you started.
Good luck. Y
When meeting new people in everyday circumstances,
Once, however, the new
truths about prospecting
acquired, new greeting practice. In the business sector,
handshakes
are aarecommon
results are enjoyed. Almost all new businesses have been built by
areor the key to a successful impression of
cold calling, whetherhowever,
door to door or handshakes
by telephone. Networking
word-of-mouth is fantastic, but it takes time to develop fresh leads.
and
self-assurance.
“our hands are introductions to
Playing the numbersprofessionalism
game is a sure bet. This is even
the case
when
you are doing well in your business and have regular clients. How
who we really are,” says Victoria
Lorient-faibish,
MEd, CCC, Holistic
For more
information, please contact:
else will you expand and increase profits?
Psychotherapist and creator ofNicole
visualizationworks
in Toronto, oN.
Attias
5 GENERAL TIPS ON COLD CALLING:
Trainer
Lorient-faibish says thatCorporate
prior Sales
to meeting
someone for the first
Nicole Attias & Associates
1. State what time,
you doone
in 1 sentence
or less.
can begin
to prepareOffice:
her416-221-0817
or his handshake with an exercise
Fax: 416-733-2491
2. Do not ramble on about you, but rather
in awareness. She suggestsToll Free:
setting
an intention of what your
866-898-0074
be inquisitive.
3. Leave progressive
voice messages
handshake
should communicate. one can also perform a grounding
(one message leads to the next).
exercise. “Close your eyes, and take deep breaths. focus on your
spine as though it were the trunk of a tree. Imagine your legs are the
roots anchored to the ground,” she explains. According to LorientWINTER 2010
HEARTBUSINESSJOURNAL.COM
11
faibish, performing this exercise will create solidity and strength
li
C
r
o
in
M
g
b
s
d
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fo
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g
Erin Nadler
HOLIDAY STYLES
Tips
With our summer clothes tucked away for another season
and our fall wardrobe out and ready to go our attention at
this time of year usually turns to the holiday season. The
same questions always flash through our minds - what
should I wear, how do I decipher the dress code on the
holiday invite, and which new item should I purchase for
the holiday season? or statement necklace, or try some beautiful
chandelier earrings, or some vintage pieces that
are one of a kind.
First let’s start with what is appropriate for your holiday
office party. As I always tell my clients, think of it as an
extension of your “normal” business dress. The easiest
thing to do and to make sure that you do not stand out for
all the wrong reasons is to ask your colleagues how they
are dressing. A safe bet is always your little black dress. 3) BELT IT
Add a studded, wide or corset belt to your LBD
or even your black pants paired back to your
simple white blouse and you have taken your
holiday look to the next level
I have noticed a trend amongst my clients. It seems women
are not buying clothing specifically for the holiday season
anymore. And why should they. We want to invest in
pieces we can wear all year round as well as the holiday
season. Making the most of your closet can help you avoid
having to purchase something specifically for your holiday
events. Assuming you have all the essential basics in your
wardrobe ie: the perfect black pant, the perfect dark denim
jean, the perfect LBD (little black dress), the perfect white
blouse, then the mix and matching is endless. So here a
few great items to add to your basics to make your holiday
outfit pop.
4) GIVE IT THE BOOT
Shoes are a women’s best friend and you can
never have too many pairs. Why not try a
bootie? The holiday season is a great time to
try something new and unexpected. Take your
LBD, wear a dark black tight and your ankle
bootie. Or if this seasons thigh high boot is more
your style, why not tuck your favourite jean or
skinny black pant into it?
1) WRAP IT UP
Why not take your LBD and add a great scarf
or wrap, to make it more holiday choose an
oversized pashmina, ruffled or glittered scarf. If
your company party is more casual then why not
wear your favourite white blouse with a skinny
jean and high boot – pop the collar up, add a
great chunky knit scarf and you will be the hit of
your party
2) JEWELLERY
The addition of a necklace or earrings is always
an inexpensive way to add interest to your outfit. Why not add some drama with a great chunky
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HEARTBUSINESSJOURNAL.COM
5) COLOUR
The most important thing to think about this
holiday season is colour. Go with pretty purples,
luscious reds, and winter whites and you are sure
to add some glitz and glam to your holiday outfit.
However you choose to dress this holiday season, be
comfortable. Adding some interest to your wardrobe is
always fun but remember most holiday parties involve a
lot of standing and mingling so think about the practicality
of your outfit before you walk out the door. Wishing you a
very happy and easy holiday party season. Y
Erin Nadler / Better Styled Inc
806-150 Eglinton Av. East, Toronto, Ontario
T: 416-485-5100 ext 225
C: 416-616-3665
www.betterstyled.com / [email protected]
WINTER 2010
IN STYLE
SCARF - A great
ruffle scarf to
add interest to any
holiday outfit.
Photo courtesy of
girlsteenclothing.com
BOOTS - A
great embellished
bootie and high
heeled statement
boot courtesy of
ninewest.com
BELTS - Corset and
studded belts an easy
way to accessorize
your party dress
Photos courtesy of
Brave Beltworks
(braveleather.com)
JEWLERY - Whether it’s a chunky
statement piece or a more vintage
feel why not try something different
like these pieces from Jenny
Bird
(http://jennybird.myshopify.com)
WINTER 2010
HEARTBUSINESSJOURNAL.COM
13
IN STYLE
Shannon Smith
6. Set the tone of your party from the beginning with the
HOW TO BE
THE HOSTESS
EXTRAORDINAIRE
THIS SEASON!
Yes! You’ve decided to throw a special bash.
If you’ve seen the TV show “Come Dine With
Me” you know what can go wrong when there
is little attention paid to detail definitely will.
Here are some tips to running a well-oiled party ensuring
that your guests stay happy – every last one of them.
1. Create a great party atmosphere from the beginning–
one that is catching to get your guests in the party mood.
2. Whether it’s a business dinner party or social gathering
– a successful event takes time, energy, organizing and
cash! Check your budget.
3. Pre preparation is a must. Your social image depends on
taking care of every detail. Leave nothing to chance,
delegating duties where you can and following up leaves
little room for surprises at the final hour.
4. Prepare the guest list with care – include new and old
faces, the philosopher, the party guy, the talker, the
author, the vet, the stockbroker - in other words an
interesting, eclectic group that is stimulating, fun and
with different attitudes and opinions.
5. Be the early bird and send out invitations early –
everyone’s schedules are busy and it’s important to
leave time to respond.
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HEARTBUSINESSJOURNAL.COM
invitation - stating time, date. The reason for the
occasion, address, telephone number, dress code and
ask for an R.S.V.P. before a certain date, and don’t
forget the names of the host and hostess.
7. Follow up with your guests. This allows you to add
others if one or two decline. No guessing games for
this hostess.
8. Set the menu to suit the theme. It’s quite acceptable to
ask your guests if they have food allergies or preferences.
Extra dishes can then be prepared.
9. Shop early. Fill the pantry with everything required –
alcohol, juices for those teetotallers and don’t forget Sue
likes her dry gin martini. Next, the food and preparation.
10.Setting the table for a sit down dinner or a buffet table
should be a pleasure and completed early. The bar
comes next. Then of course all your delicious food.
11.THEN, MAGNIFICENT, GORGEOUS YOU –
all dresses up in your party best. It might be a wee bit
embarrassing getting caught in the all together if an
early bird arrives.
CHECK YOUR ATTITUDE! ARE YOU IN THE
SPIRIT OF THINGS? Remember this is your party –
ENJOY IT! Be in CONTROL and be COOL. Above all be
alert. This is the time to indulge your guests, not yourself. Y
Shannon Smith is a leading image strategist and founder of
Premiere Image International based Toronto and New York.
She is a TV personality, speaker, columnist and author of
Power Manners – How to Use Your Personal Skills for
Business and Social Success, a 220 page, beautifully
illustrated, hard cover book – a very practical easy-toread guide with answers to so many of the business and
social questions that people really ask. Her Contemporary
Finishing School Programs for fortune 500 companies
and individuals across North America offer customized
programs in personal branding – image mastery, charisma,
presentations skills, appropriate dress & grooming,
manners, etiquette training, executive dining and protocol.
Learn the secrets of Self-Confidence; Discover the Power
to Influence, Make Success and Natural Part of Your Life.
Ms. Smith assists individuals transform from unnoticed to
unforgettable…and she personally guarantees it.
Shannon is offering her one hour Personal Brand Audit
along with an autographed copy of her book Power
Manners (value of $332.00 plus tax) to us for $270.00 until
Dec. 15 only. This is a great way to experience Shannon’s
coaching first hand. A great gift too. Please visit www.
premiereimageintl.com or call 416 324 8955 for more
information. E-mail [email protected]. or
www.powermanners.com
WINTER 2010
WINTER 2010
HEARTBUSINESSJOURNAL.COM
15
PROFILE
PROFILING POWERHOUSE
Women With Unstoppable Drive
16
HEARTBUSINESSJOURNAL.COM
WINTER 2010
WINTER 2010
HEARTBUSINESSJOURNAL.COM
17
PROFILE
Rose Reisman
TITLE:
EDUCATION:
AWARDS:
MARITAL STATUS:
Founder of Rose Reisman Catering, Rose
Reisman’s Art of Living Well, author of over
18 best-selling cookbooks, TV, Radio,
corporate personality, Educational
Wellness Lecturer, and Restaurant
consultant for The Pickle Barrel and GLOW
restaurants in Toronto. Rose is also a
Wellness Ambassador for the Canadian
Diabetes Association and Breakfast for
Learning National spokesperson
2000 - Registered Nutritional Consultant
from the Canada School of Natural Nutrition
1985 - MBA York University (her BA, in
Drama was also from York University)
1976 - B. Ed. From University of Toronto
2009 - Outstanding Public Contribution
Award, ORT
2009 - Earnest and Young Entrepreneur of
the Year Nominee
2008 - Outstanding Public Contribution
Award, Schulich School of Business
2005 – Cuisine Canada Silver Culinary
Book Award Married, mother of four children, two
German Shepperds and two cats
WHAT HASN’T SHE DONE?
Rose Reisman is one of the most dynamic and dedicated
professionals I have had the privilege of interviewing. At
first glance you know she practices what she preaches.
A mature female professional, Rose is fit, energetic,
dynamic and confident; just a few of the attributes she
possesses. For those who aspire to follow her path, be
warned, her pace and drive is not for the faint of heart. A
successful entrepreneur, wife and mother, Rose is up at
4:30am to ensure she can spend a few hours responding
to her emails and fit in a morning workout, which
includes exercising her two German Shepperd dogs with
a brisk walk in the park. Rose has a schedule that would
intimidate even the most driven young professional.
C
Cooking her way
into our HEARTS!
Rose Reisman: Mentor and change agent
shares the Art of Living Well
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HEARTBUSINESSJOURNAL.COM
Rose has dabbled in many fields – she took drama during her
undergrad, then years later, her MBA. She has been involved
in theatre and production, teaching (drama, English and
business), worked as a nutritional consultant, has had her
own TV cooking show, has been featured on numerous radio
programs and is an accomplished chef and author.
Shortly after taking her MBA, Rose started cooking as a stress
reliever and discovered she had a natural talent and passion
for it. It wasn’t until a few years later that she wrote her first
general cookbook (mainly desserts and ‘secret recipes’ from
famous chefs in restaurants in Toronto and New York) at the
age of 34. Rose shares that to secure these ‘secret recipes’ she
guaranteed each restaurant a one page feature in her book,
promoting the recipes and the restaurants fabulous dining
experience. She also candidly admits that some recipes were
given to her on the back of napkins or scribbled on loose
pages –all of which needed to be reworked completely – as
many of the recipes were designed to make 50-100 units,
rather than 4-6 people for her general cook book. During that
time she was also pregnant with her third child and teaching
business at Seneca College.
She couldn’t convince any major publishers to publish her
first book so she decided to self publish, printing 5,000
WINTER 2010
PROFILE
books (at a cost of $30,000, in 1988). To secure national
placement she hired McMillan of Canada, who provided
basic distribution (for a fee) but didn’t promote her book.
To gain greater distribution and to ensure she broke even on
her investment, she hired a publicist, who was instrumental
in helping her secure radio and TV appearances and other
press coverage. With her new found notoriety, books stores
started asking for her book. To meet this demand and with
the realisation that she would be required to invest more of
her own time and money to ensure her success, she started
knocking on doors - hand delivering books to Chapters,
Coles and other local bookstores. She wrote a couple more
books with similar theme but she admits, “It was really a
struggle to break even and gain the necessary distribution”.
In wasn’t until 1993, when she was diagnosed with high
cholesterol that she decided to ’try the whole light world
like Anne Lindsay’, but written in her style. Coming from a
family with a long history of heart disease and obesity - her
father passed away from a massive coronary at the age of
56, followed by his sister six months later; her grandmother
on other side of the family, passed of diabetes at the age
of 52. Rose became keenly aware of the importance of
healthy eating and life style habits. She also realized the
value of strategic partnerships and joining forces with a
charitable organization. She had been approached by
The Canadian Breast Cancer Foundation, to help with
fundraising; originally to knock on doors, which she was
not comfortable with. Instead, she agreed to collaborate
with them and endorse the foundation with her new light
menu cookbook , which was also accepted by a national
publisher as a result of this clever strategy. She sold over
500,000 copies! She also started offer cooking classes, advertising in
Toronto’s Post City Magazine, which combined with her
cook books and her own TV show on the Life Network,
caught the attention of The Pickle Barrel president Peter
Higley. Higley contacted Rose to create signature, healthy
recipes that went beyond the ‘heart healthy’ recipe trend at
that time. He wanted a more creative menu to demonstrate
his interest in providing healthy options for Canadian
customers, going so far as to remove hot dogs from his
menu (at the time, a radical move for a Deli-restaurant). Together they developed a number of healthy menu
options, including seasonal menus twice a year. Today,
they have ten unique menus, with six recipes from her new
Family Favourites cook book. They also offered the Family
Favourites cookbook at a discount to The Pickle Barrel
customers, to enable them to cook delicious wholesome
meals at home.
Since then, Rose has continued to evolve and grow her
brand of Catering solutions, including freshly prepared
meals delivered to your home (in the GTA area), and
WINTER 2010
her Personal Gourmet Frozen line (Meals are delivered
FROZEN in vacuum sealed packaging), with delivery
throughout Canada. A visit to her web site will provide
a complete overview of the incredible range of products
and services, as well as the delivery criteria and reach,
http://www.rosereismancatering.com. And to-date, Rose
has created and launched over of 18 cookbooks since she
embarked on her career.
As with many successful professionals we have interviewed,
one essential element for success is to have a strong support
network behind you. Passion and unstoppable drive are
also attributes of any successful entrepreneur. Rose has
been blessed with that and more. Her husband, a ‘true
entrepreneur’ as Rose credits him, has not only been the
love of her life, the father of their four active children; he is
also her chief counsel and mentor. She admits he is one of
her toughest critics, (her children are also very vocal when
she tests new recipes on them – telling her with direct candor
if a recipe passes the family kitchen test). Rose will float
business ideas past her husband, who Rose says “always
thinks outside the box and gave her the confidence that she
could do anything successfully”. Her husband, founder of
The Rose Corporation (a firm involved in Private Equity,
Real Estate, Manufacturing and the Automotive Industry),
has been “tough on her ideas, but is always supportive”.
Rose says “his thinking is very unusual” which helps push
her beyond her comfort zone. When she was considering
her MBA, as a self described ‘arts oriented person’ he
suggested she rethink it. She pursued it anyway, and found
she loved the marketing programs. She admits to having a
few melt downs during the program, struggling with the
accounting and financial courses but was able to lean on
her husband (a MBA grad himself) for support. With two
infants at home at the time, Rose faced many challenges
while trying to reframe her mindset to a more disciplined
business framework.
When asked if the entrepreneur is wired differently, Rose
concedes that the entrepreneur “is always on, passionate
and love what they do and they don’t see it as work”. She
shares that she continues to wake up early to check emails
during vacation to ensure she is connected to her business –
not seeing it as burden or an interruption but as a part of her
lifestyle. That said, Rose’s first priority has always been
her family. After completing her MBA, her husband asked
her ‘Now what do you want to do. Do you want to work for
a large corporation?”. Rose quickly established her priority
of wanting to be home for her children, and from previous
experience, knew she wanted something with flexibility
and a healthy work environment (no Unions).
We touch briefly on the style differences between male
and female entrepreneurs, and Rose quickly concedes that
she tends to worry and internalize situations much more
HEARTBUSINESSJOURNAL.COM
19
PROFILE
than her male counterparts. This is a theme HEART BJFW
has heard many times; women tend to personalize and
internalize criticisms and failures much more than men.
Men tend to acknowledge the situation, but then can leave
it at the office. This is definitely an area that, if women
can master and learn to separate the emotion (or our own
insecurity) from the situation, may allow for greater energy
spent on moving beyond the ‘guilt and worry’ to a lesson
learned and solution mindset.
Looking forward, Rose shares that she would LOVE IT if
her children considered taking over the business. With her
youngest child off to university, she recognises that they
are following their own path but also credits her children
(particularly the two oldest children) with a natural ability
and potential to take her Empire to a new level, meeting the
needs of the next generation.
Most recently, Rose has joined forces with York Universities,
Facility of Health Dr. Harvey Skinner. Together, they
have created the SWAP IT campaign, which focuses on
effective educational programs to significantly improve
Canadians overall health and wellbeing. Recognising that
most people will eat fast food or other convenience options
out of habit, desire and practicality, the goal is to identify
what options are healthier (the grilled chicken sandwich
over the deep fried option, for example) and to make this
information more readily available. To read more about
this campaign and the Personal Gourmet Frozen line, visit
our ISSUE EXTRAS section off our HEART home page.
A complex, nurturing and energetic women, Rose has
mastered the Art of Living Well and has dedicated her life
to sharing her secrets and passion for healthy living. Rose
would like to leave a legacy of “making an impact – making
people more aware” of the impact their daily choices make
on their overall health. At 56, with her children out of the
house and many of her friends retiring, she feels she is just
hitting her stride and getting started on a joyful life path
and meaningful career.
This interview and the list of awards have been condensed
and edited, by Brenda Wood, Editor and Chief of HEART
Business Journal For Women®.
Visit http://www.artoflivingwell.ca for learn more
20
HEARTBUSINESSJOURNAL.COM
WORDS OF WISDOM
FROM A TRUE MENTOR
•
•
•
•
•
•
•
•
•
Instant success is rare. You must stick with
it and be committed to doing what is needed
(including investing your own money, knocking
on doors and building your own alliances).
Passion must be tempered with reality – ask
yourself is there a demand for your product
or service and do you have your brand clearly
differentiated in the market?
Hire the right people and understand how to
nurture them with growth opportunities.
Persistence and hard work is critical. Rose
shares that Chef’s, particularly ‘diva chef’s
can be difficult to manage, many of whom
want to open their own restaurant one day and
may not like to be told what to do. Rose admits
she is “Preaching a particular philosophy; no
heavy cream sauces or butter rich dishes
and no deep frying. With chefs trained in
French cooking schools, this can be a challenge.
Rose explains “some will still try to sneak it
into recipes any way”. Rose can’t say enough
about her GLOW head chef, who is also French
trained but is very receptive to her philosophy
and helps create innovative specials daily.
Know your strengths, compartmentalize
your work load and delegate tasks to others.
Be disciplined with your time and
your processes.
Remind your loyal clients why you are doing
what you do – keep reinventing and pushing
yourself to remain relevant to your brand
vision and your loyal audience, who is sharing
your journey.
Be aware of your own image and message – ask
yourself “How you are perceived and
received?” Rose confesses that after losing 20
unwanted pounds she was getting preachy. She
has learned this approach is ineffectual. People
are more receptive to learning how to make
small steps for change, operating within their
lifestyle parameters.
Be self aware but don’t beat yourself up about
your weakness or failures.
Don’t get overwhelmed when looking at the
total picture or challenge – Rose uses the
analogy of down-hill skiing (which she took
up at age 40), don’t focus on the bottom – try
to focus on taking one turn, then the next and
focus on doing that well – and before you know
it, you’ve completed the entire run, ready to
go again! Y
WINTER 2010
PROFILE
Looking for the
perfect holiday gift?
Pick up a copy of Rose Reisman
Family Favourites cookbook today.
WINTER 2010
HEARTBUSINESSJOURNAL.COM
21
PROFILE
Gina Li
UNIVERSITY:
Nankai University, China, BA, Tourism
Industry Management
Rotman School of Management, Honours
MBA, 2004
PREVIOUS WORK
EXPERIENCE:
Travel industry 1991-1999, China
and Australia
Freight Forwarding 1999-2002, Canada
Royal Conservatory of Music 2003-2004
Part-time, Canada
TD Canada Trust 2004-2008
HIGHLIGHTS
OF OTHER
ACCOMPLISHMENTS: Pioneered the Overseas Pre-settlement
workshops for new immigrants in China
by partnering with The Cross Cultural
Community Service Association (across
China, have run 3 years, MP Jim Karygiannis
is a strong supporter) (2008-2010) .
Instrumental in launching Education Forum
and road shows for International Students
and parents to attract them to Canada,
through Canada China Overseas Study
Forum and New Oriental Education and
Technology Group (largest test prep school
in China, listed onNYSE), joined by
Counsellor Yi Jun Songfrom Embassy in
Beijing) (2009-2010).
Spearheaded the China Everbright
Bank partnership (2009).
Instrumental in building China Union Pay
alliance (INTERAC &Scotiabank existing
relationship, brought CUP in) (2010).
Won Mandarin Profile Award - “2009
Outstanding Profile Award- Professional
Sector”, recognized as a successful
immigrant, an annual event organized
by Fairchild TV.
G
Going above and
beyond... banking
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HEARTBUSINESSJOURNAL.COM
As the expression goes, if you want to
understand someone better, spend a day
walking in their shoes. Director of Asian
Markets, Multicultural Banking for Scotiabank,
Gina Li leverages her own experiences to help
immigrants transition with a higher level of
security and support than she experienced.
Gina immigrated to Canada when she was
29 years old, leaving her family, friends and
secured senior management position (working
for the largest Travel agency in China), during
the height of China’s economic boom. With
$15,000 US cash, (sewn into a secret pocket in
her clothes by her mom), and starting from ‘the
bottom professionally’, with few connections.
Gina is acutely aware of the value of arriving
to a new country with a bank account, credit
card, credit history, and job prospects already
in place.
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PROFILE
During her eight years working in China, her role was a
combination of foreign affairs/travel agency consultant;
acting as an interpreter and tour manager for international
delegates. Diplomacy is one of Gina’s many skills; she has
been trained to handle difficult situations, for example,
how to handle emergencies and difficult situations, as
severe as dealing with someone with a serious health
issue on a group tour (heart attack or possibly dying) or if
they got into an altercation with police, lost their passport
or other challenges. Gina reflects on this experience
and simply says “you train yourself to handle difficult
situations on the spot and you also learn how to handle
public speaking and managing large groups successfully”.
During her tenure in China she was recognized and
promoted frequently for her work ethic and strong
interpersonal skills. She was so well respected and valued
by her employer that her apartment was included as part
of her compensation package.
While working in Australia, she was offered a position (within the travel sector), which she declined. She
felt that Canada was more receptive to immigrants
and welcoming for newcomers. In addition, she felt
Canada’s proximity to the USA and our North American
trading relations was highly attractive. Looking back,
despite the challenges she faced, she has no regrets and
uses the experience to help other new immigrants make
a smoother transition. She emphasises that new comers
should spend time in China preparing themselves for the
transition. Gina can’t emphasize enough the importance
of mastering English language skills, including
presentation and public speaking. She also encourages
new comers to take time to fully understand their key
strengths and vocational aspirations.
When she first immigrated she had to start at the bottom.
Leveraging her previous experience, she secured a
position in the freight forwarding industry for three
years – her “survival job”, which included making
cold calls to generate new business. Her diplomatic
experience and love of personal interaction was a key
asset; she eventually achieved the top sales award within
the company. Despite this success, she longed to return
to her management role and to drive her career to new
heights. She quit her job and once she passed her GMAT
(she admits to failing her first time but kept trying),
selected the Rotman MBA program in Toronto. With
MBA in hand, she set her sights on larger organizations;
the banking industry was particularly attractive because
of the diversity of roles available under one corporate
umbrella; finance, operations, general management,
marketing or PR, - “you could change jobs without
changing companies”. She secured her first major
position with TD Canada Trust as an MBA Leadership
Associate. After two rotations, she was promoted to
WINTER 2010
Branch Manager and immersed in a six month training
program. Gina mentored her team to record growth in
sales and customer satisfaction within the first year, with
many of her staff securing raises/bonuses.
She believes the MBA program and connections made
during her early years was instrumental to help her
transition into the financial sector in Canada. During
her MBA experience, she connected with many senior
individuals that helped her build her network and
gain supporters. That said, she doesn’t feel the MBA
guarantees success – hard work, strong people skills, a
positive attitude are critical.
She quickly achieved recognition from her peers (and
within the banking community) and was recruited by
Scotiabank to support a newly created department
catering specifically to the multicultural markets. Today,
as Director of Asian Markets, Multicultural Banking for
Scotiabank, she is proud the share the success of The
StartRight program - a key initiative developed to help
new-comers (international students, skilled workers,
investor immigrants, foreign workers, etc) transition to
Canada with many of the critical elements already in
place; finding a place to live, opening a bank account,
get an OHIP card, helping families find schools for
their children and assisting with the enrolment process,
in addition to helping the new comers find a job. The
biggest challenge is getting credit and securing a credit
card. Language is another obstacle to overcome. With
the StartRight program, multi language support programs
have also been created. The StartRight program offers a
multi-lingual web site and call center, in addition access
to ABM machines across Canada with the instructions
provided in five languages; English, French, Spanish,
Simplified Chinese and Traditional Chinese. In addition,
she was instrumental in establishing a partnership
between Scotiabank and China Ever Bright Bank , with
200 (note: more branches joined the program since our
interview) branches facilitating overseas account opening
in China, spanning 33 cities. This partnership allows
Chinese immigrants and international students to set up
a Canadian Bank account, secure a VISA card before
leaving China. Gina knows the incredible value of this
partnership, as she herself struggled to set up her banking
and credit position when she first immigrated.
Gina identifies that Canada lags behind England and
Australia when it comes to attracting and educating
international students and their families, a sector which
represented $6.5 billion to Canada’s economy in 2009.
Today, she and her team host educational training sessions
in China to help increase Canada’s appeal and market
penetration. A visit to the Scotiabank StartRight program
on their web site demonstrates the scope and diversity
HEARTBUSINESSJOURNAL.COM
23
PROFILE
of the services available for immigrants including
community banking services.
Today Gina is devoted to being a strong strategic leader
and team motivator. She believes her key job is to
motivate others, to not only achieve the business goals,
but also to assist her staff to achieve their goals. She
is also very involved in establishing, negotiating and
building strategic relationships with Asia. Specifically,
she is charged with building collaborative relationships
with Chinese and foreign banks, to better facilitate
immigration transition and business prosperity. Gina
believes that building respectful relationships (or as she
says “GUANXI”) is critical to achieving success when
dealing with Asian markets. She concedes that her Chinese
nationality has given her an edge in her current role– when
she visits China to negotiate with financial partners she
can move immediately into the complexities of the deal
whereas international colleagues must respect the culture,
protocol and pace of developing a respectful relationship
prior to launching into the any negotiation or partnership
discussions. Gina feels women are well respected in China
and are typically paid well (equal to men). Although she
does share that her friends and colleagues in China are
working longer hours with less work life balance than
in Canada (many actually decline vacation or time off to
remain competitive in their profession).
Looking forward, Gina is committed to developing her
role, her staff and new programs to continue to support
immigrants as they transition to the Canadian Market in
search of a more prosperous and dynamic future.
HOW DOES SHE RELAX?
Gina is an active – sporty – person who works out to stay
fit and to decompress. Six years ago started studying
piano again, practicing every day (she was forced to give
it up when she was a child because her family could not
afford piano) and singing (Karaoke with friends) when
time allows. “I also love traveling and have traveled to
many countries in the world.” Y
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HEARTBUSINESSJOURNAL.COM
GINA’S TIPS
She is a firm believer in networking –
she actually secured her first job (and
her position with Scotiabank) as a result
of networking.
Be aware your brand image and get the
necessary training to ensure you present
yourself well.
Leverage your strengths and passions –
try to find employment that allows you
to demonstrate your unique strengths.
For example, as an immigrant, Gina
leverages her international negotiating
skills, strategic and marketing skills
within her current role.
Continually challenge yourself – set the
bar high for yourself - stretch yourself to
ensure you are continually growing.
Build your mentorship and board
associates - with your company, through
your networking connections and within
your own community/associations.
Living by example, Gina is currently on
the advisory committee with the Toronto
Zoo, to loan Panda Bears from China.
Gina regularly revisits her goal planner
– every six months or so, to ensure she
is on track with her career and personal
objectives.
WINTER 2010
PROFILE
WINTER 2010
HEARTBUSINESSJOURNAL.COM
25
PROFILE
Sandra Levitin
AGE:
54
TITLE:
Founder/CEO/Editor in Chief Kalon
Women - Kalon Women Blog - Kalon
Communities - Kalon Klicks - Kalon
Women in Business
Radio Show
EDUCATION:
University of Texas at Pan American
MARITAL STATUS: Single (Divorced), Mother of two children,
and proud grandmother
PREVIOUS WORK
EXPERIENCE:
Sales Management and training
positions throughout her career
ACCOMPLISHMENTS:Regional Director - WIN International
Women’s Day, NAWBO Houston Technology Board, International Mature
Marketing Network Board, Susan G.
Komen Breast Cancer and The Harley’s
Angels - ‘Ridin for the Cure’
Y
You’ve Come
A Long Way
Baby and only
getting better!
26
HEARTBUSINESSJOURNAL.COM
After a career in corporate America, largely
in sales management, Sandra fulfilled her lifelong
dream of launching Kalon Women magazine; an
online magazine targeting women 45+. It all started
over 17 years ago, when Sandra and a dear friend
started chatting about the idea that all women
possess an inner beauty, a strength that we might
not be acknowledging or tapping into. We tend to
be overly self critical, critical of others and too
influenced by the outside/social influences that
diminish our self esteem and ability to actualize
our potential. During their early discussions, they
discovered an old Greek word, Kalon – which means
beautiful (inner beauty), which naturally, would
become their brand name. Sadly, neither could
spend enough time to get the venture off the ground,
“life has a way of getting in the way” as Sandra
phrases it. Both were working mothers and juggling
the demands of career, family and life. It wasn’t until
four years ago, when Sandra turned 50, the same
year her dear friend succumbed to metastatic breast
cancer, that she gathered up the courage to realize
their dream. It was the combination of the two life
experiences that served as the catalyst for Sandra.
Sandra says “She knew if she didn’t do it herself,
the dream she shared with her friend would never
happen”. In this issue, Sandra shares her journey
with HEART Business Journal For Women; a story
that will inspire and mentor those who have been
thinking or talking about living their dream venture,
but just haven’t made it a priority.
WINTER 2010
PROFILE
When asked what one can expect to read, in terms of the
current editorial themes and topics she covers in Kalon
Women (pronounced Kay-Lynn), Sandra is quick to identify
that “the notion of awakening, waking up as entrepreneurs,
is very strong. A close second is elder care; after years of
raising their children, mature women now have to assume the
responsibility of their aging parents. The third theme she is
heavily focused on is menopause, particularly demystifying
the condition and the various so called remedies available. As
much as these topics are very serious, she believes injecting
humour in her editorial is essential for an audience “who can
take themselves too seriously”, distancing ourselves from
the lighter spirit deep inside.
One of the many joys of her on-line magazine is that she
connects with wonderful individuals who are eager to
support and share her vision. Although the majority of her
subscribers are in the US market, her on-line brand is read
by individuals around the globe. By being open to ideas and
listening to her readers, her brand has morphed tremendously.
She started with the on-line magazine of sorts (a blog) but
by 2009 she moved to a more traditional on-line magazine
format. She also launched a radio show, a community site,
business directory, and Kalon Kitchens, to name a few of
her new products. Today Kalon Women has over 65,000
subscribers! To generate interest and awareness, Sandra
reached out to other women using social marketing tools. Sandra acknowledges that Facebook has been instrumental
in helping to build her brand. When asked why she feels
her brand has been so well received, Sandra shares that she
“Fundamentally believes that women want to help other
women; if approached correctly and naturally, if they share
the vision of the Kalon brand”.
The majority of her subscribers are women but she does have
male subscribers. When a male does subscribe, she actually
contacts him directly to ask”Why have you subscribed to a
women’s magazine”. The most common responses are; 1)
I am buying this for my wife, partner, girlfriend, 2) I want
to understand women better and this will give me insight
into the 45+ female or 3) they were curious to see if it is a
male bashing magazine. Whatever the reason, she is always
delighted to include men amongst her subscriber base.
When we chat about what it takes to achieve the level
of success she is enjoying, Sandra is direct when she
acknowledges that it requires a tremendous amount of
work, dedication and passion. As an entrepreneur working
from home, she is often working at her computer at 4am or
working late into the evening. Many of her friends ‘talk a
big game’ during their coffee visits, sharing their ideas and
aspirations to become an entrepreneur, but many don’t DO
anything about it. Sandra can empathize with them, but as
one who wishes she was sharing this journey with her friend
and co-creator, she is now quite adamant when she mentors
WINTER 2010
other that you must ACT NOW if you have an idea or dream.
Sandra says the key is to make it happen, get out of the
house, to face your fear of failure or rejection (of falling off
the edge), if you want to realize your dreams. “Just take that
first step” and after that, you will be amazed at your strength
and capability. The key, she feels, is to surround yourself
with people who support you and encourage you – who may
not necessarily be your family or current friends.
We chat about the various challenges she had to overcome
during her career and some of the reasons she chose to start
her own business, and we naturally fall into the discussion
of ‘that nightmare boss’ and what learning she could share
from her experience. Sandra chuckles, and then shares a
story of when she first entered the work force; she accepted
a sales position within a male dominated sector. As the first
female sales representative on the team, and the first female
her boss had ever managed, she knew she’d face challenges
beyond her new job description. It was while attending
her first sales meetings; she heard all the innuendo about
women, the inappropriate comments from “the good old
boys”. She was told “you will have to wear a shorter skirt
and unbutton you’re blouse a little, if you think you’re going
to sell anything”. She decided she had two options - either
quit or keep pressing on and buckling down (ignoring the
inappropriate comments from her male counter parts). Her
decision to stay and prove herself paid off -within six months
she was the number one sales representative on her team.
Within a year and a half, she had been so successful that she
was promoted to Sales Manager – in charge of the male team
who had continued to make comments throughout her tenure.
However, in her new senior role, she was responsible for
pulling the sales meeting together and for leading the team.
First on her list - as their new boss, she made it clear that she
had zero tolerance for the innuendo and inappropriate jokes/
comments and quickly administered their sales targets.
Looking back, Sandra admits that having a thick skin and
a strong sense self were critical to her success. She also
suggests that you must adapt your sales pitch for men versus
women. From her experience, she found men want ‘the
facts’ - the cost implications to the deal and ROI rationale
immediately, where as women tend to appreciate hearing
about the relevance to them or their business first. Sandra
observes that women tend to like to chat more and build a
connection before plunging into the financials. In the end,
Sandra feels that whether you have an aggressive male
or female boss, you need to realize that, particularly in a
sales field, you most likely will not change their attitude
or comments. And when you are in competition with
your colleagues with a commission salary structure, the
competition and stress of the job are expressed in different
ways for each sex. Men tend to tease or use sarcasm to
burn off steam or to intimidate. She advises women to
be in control of what they internalize and warns that they
HEARTBUSINESSJOURNAL.COM
27
PROFILE
shouldn’t take comments personally. Learning to joke or
let the comments roll off your back, while you spend your
time producing results is Sandra’s recommendation. Not
only is this approach more likely to help you secure greater
financial rewards, you will likely advance up the corporate
ladder, putting you in a position of influence to make the
positive changes you desire.
She is also working on a children’s book, which she is coauthoring with her 12 year old granddaughter.
Her biggest challenge to date; the US economy. She adds,
“You don’t know what the magic number is – the magic
proposition” to stimulate interest. She finds the US market
is seemingly on hold – holding back on expenditures and
not testing new concepts or opportunities. Surprisingly, US
stats indicate that the female entrepreneurs are a significant
change agent contributing to growth across North America,
yet they are facing tremendous barriers to entry. Getting
financing or support for a new business is difficult in the best
of times. Given today’s economic climate, women have the
added challenge of reinventing, innovating and stretching
themselves beyond their comfort zone.
WHAT INSPIRES HER?
Thankfully Sandra has not had to seek investors or financial
support. As a self-funded entrepreneur, she expresses
gratitude for her early career successes and a disciplined
savings habits. That said, when she went to her bank to open
her business account, the bank representative asked her if
her husband would be coming in to be a co-signer on the
account. Her friends and colleagues have shared similar
stories that even today, some institutions still ask “when is
your husband coming in”. Recently divorced, Sandra only
laughs at this paradox.
SANDRA’S TIPS ON HOW TO BE
SUCCESSFUL WHEN SELLING
YOUR BRAND/BUSINESS
- Be passionate about what you are selling (particularly
for entrepreneurs).
- Come to terms with the reality that you have to do the
things you don’t like doing – be diligent, follow-up and
realise the critical importance of building a relationship over
time, not just for one project or that one sale.
- Don’t be pushy or irritating when selling – read your
audience!
- You must be tenacious – stay in touch with your best
customer – who are most likely provide your best referrals.
Understand the value of good customer service and the fact
that this could be your point of difference.
She runs, gardens, and enjoys sitting at a café or at the beach
with a book or journal to distance herself from her business.
And she will gladly be a passenger on her friends Harley
when the group heads out for a day in the sun.
She loves meeting and interviewing new people; she is
always delighted with the depth and texture within each of
the women she interviews. She also enjoys sitting in the park
or sitting at an outdoor cafe; people watching.
WHAT IS IN FUTURE FOR
KALON WOMEN?
Taking Kalon Women to “the next level, reaching as many
women as possible in different cities with seminars and
conferences”. Sandra envisions creating a support group or
‘life line’ to connect other women to support one another
through the Kalon Women Network. Y
*RECOMMENDED
READING
HEART BJFW EDITOR-IN-CHIEF
FROM
The book entitled “it’s only too late IF You Don’t
Start Now, How to Create Your Second Life at Any
Age” by Barbara Sher
“Take your SOUL To Work, Transform Your Life
And Work”, by Tanis Helliwell
“Inner Excellence, Achieve Extraordinary
Business Success Through Mental Toughness,” by
Jim Murphy
HOW DOES SHE RELAX?
She writes; she has five pieces published and has just
completed a book based on a journal of letters she has kept
over the years. The book entitled Learning How to Hop,
Again, is a “loose biography, based on her life, her career
experiences, her divorce, her entrepreneurship”.
28
HEARTBUSINESSJOURNAL.COM
WINTER 2010
Dig Deep...
“Remember, we all stumble, everyone of us.
That’s why it is a comfort to go
hand-in-hand.”
Emily Kimbrough
“Set you heart on doing good. Do it over and
over again, and you will be filled with joy.”
Buddha
“Expand your capacity to be delighted”
Unknown
LET IT GO. LET IT FLOW.
WINTER 2010
HEARTBUSINESSJOURNAL.COM
29
Where Do You Take Your
Submit your photo today to
[email protected]
to be featured in our next issue
Brigitte McKinnon in Montebello, QC - Winner of our photo contest 2009.
When you die
God and the Angels
Will hold you accountable for all
The pleasures you were allowed in life
That you denied yourself.
Anonymous
Discover Deeper Meaning
in Your Life and Work!
“With the seven magnificent
principles Dr. Pattakos describes in
this important book…let me suggest
two ideas on how to get the very
most from this book. First share
or teach the core principles one by
one to those you live with and work
around. Second, live them. To learn
something but not to do it is really
not to learn.”
Dr. Stephen R. Covey
Author, The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People
PRISONERS OF OUR THOUgHTS
international Best-selling Book - available in 12 languages
prisoners of our thoughts offers seven principles for finding deeper
meaning and fulfillment in your life and work.
Don’t let life just happen to you. inspire yourself and others to achieve
the highest potential by not being a “prisoner” of your thoughts.
www.prisonersofourthoughts.com
MENTORSHIP
Lois Raats
STEPPING STONES TO
SELF-CONFIDENCE
I hear these kinds of questions and comments
several times each week in my office, from some of the
most outwardly successful people you could imagine.
People often believe that if they could just feel better
about themselves, their lives would go so much
48 would
HEaRTBuSINESSJOuRNaL.cOM
better, they
be so much more successful.
NEWS FLASH: SELF-ESTEEM
FEELING. IT’S A HABIT.
IS
NOT
A
Life consists of an endless series of forks in the road. At any given
moment, we are directing our energies – our attitudes, thoughts,
behaviours, and habits – down the path that leads to greater selfesteem – or we’re propelling ourselves in the opposite direction. It’s that simple. If you suffer from low self-worth, it’s a good idea
to start asking yourself: “Is what I’m currently thinking or doing
making me feel better about myself - or worse? What do I need to
do differently that will get me on a more helpful path?”
Photos by Yuri arcurs & andresr - Shutterstock®
I
How can I acquire more self-confidence?
How can I improve my self-esteem?
I wish I could feel as “together” as everyone
else seems to be...
But feeling good is not the source of self-esteem.
The good news about this approach is that it’s something anyone
can learn. Have you ever learned how to ride a bike, or quit a useless
JaNuaRY/FEBRuaRY
habit like smoking? We’re talking skills
and habits2009
here, not magic.
With creativity and focus, practice and willpower, anyone can
develop the skills and habits that engender high self-esteem.
Rather, feeling good is the by-product of thinking
thoughts, making choices, and developing the habits
that build self-esteem.
I’m not especially concerned about what your background or life
experience is like. Life occurs in the present moment. As the saying
goes...
issue#4.indd 48
32
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11/18/08 9:23:43 AM
WINTER 2010
MENTORSHIP
The past is history,
The future is mystery,
This moment is a gift –
that’s why it’s called
“The Present”!
“Habit is habit, not to be carelessly
flung out the window, but to be taken
down the stairs one step at a time.”
Mark Twain
If you begin to channel your energy now in the direction you
want to go, you will get there, a step at a time.
#1: SELF-AWARENESS
The first step toward improving self-esteem is to gradually
begin to increase one’s level of self-awareness. A person
can do this simply by noticing what’s currently happening in
several areas of their experience.
1. BODY
Since your body never lies, start by noticing any physical
sensations related to your current situation, such as shortness
of breath, tightness in your neck, shoulders, or back,
butterflies in your stomach, headaches or body aches.
For example, one of my clients, let’s call him Ian, notices
that when work starts piling up he gets tense in the shoulders.
If he doesn’t reorganize his priorities he starts to feel queasy
much of the time. If he allows this pattern to continue he
starts to have difficulty sleeping. However, if he can catch
this pattern at its onset through self-awareness, he then has
a choice. Ian can begin to choose the path of caring for
and esteeming himself, and he can refrain from neglecting
himself and his needs.
2. FEELINGS
Next, notice any feelings you have: anxiety, sadness,
panic, anger, elation. (If you’re not well-acquainted with
your feelings, here’s a site with a good list: http://www.
psychpage.com/learning/library/assess/feelings.html).
Feelings emerge spontaneously from the body, so once
WINTER 2010
you’re clued in to your body signals, you can attach some
words to the sensation that describes how you’re feeling. The
feeling words Ian attaches to his “tight shoulder” sensation
are fear, anger, sadness, and being overwhelmed. Feelings
can also be experienced as images or metaphors. Ian says
that he often feels “like a tiny boat adrift in huge waves”.
3. THOUGHTS
Now notice your thoughts. Thoughts are an incredibly
important contributor to self-esteem or lack thereof. The
good news about thoughts is that they can be controlled. You
can use your will to direct your thoughts once you become
more self-aware.
Unfortunately, many people are unaware of the extent to
which their thoughts and assumptions are influencing how
they feel. We all have a running tape that plays a continuous
stream of thoughts in the back of our minds. This background
noise impacts how we feel, what we pay attention to, and
how we behave.
When Ian gets overwhelmed, he starts to think things like,
“What if I can’t get this all done by Friday?” “I’m such an
idiot, I should be better organized...how come other people
in my office seem to get their stuff done by the end of the
day?” “I’ll never figure this out...” As he becomes more selfaware, he will be able to notice these thoughts before they
start to drag him down, and he can choose to substitute more
helpful thoughts in their place.
What kinds of tapes do you have playing in the back
of your mind? I’ve found that most people with selfesteem problems tend to hold negative assumptions
about themselves, and are endlessly self-critical. They’re
worried about what other people think of them, and often
worry about what’s going to happen next. As part of your
self-awareness project, record these thoughts in a little
notebook and over time you can begin to replace them with
something better.
4. BEHAVIOURS
Lastly, notice your behaviours. What activities are you
engaged in that are doing little or nothing for you? What
are you currently doing that builds you up? How’s your
health? Are there people in your life that know you well
- and if not, how can you begin to develop a support
system? We all need some blend of positive relationships,
satisfying work, and fun activities to keep our emotional
tanks topped up.
My client Ian notices that when he begins to feel tanked out
due to stress at work he comes home and flakes out on the
HEARTBUSINESSJOURNAL.COM
33
MENTORSHIP
couch. But when he thinks about it, he realizes that while this
is relaxing, it isn’t really satisfying. Flaking out isn’t helping
him develop a life that meets his needs or fulfills his values.
He’s currently re-thinking these choices and making a list of
activities that are both relaxing and meaningful. So far, he’s
considering going to the gym, taking out a few books from
the library, or calling a friend.
Habits are merely thoughts and behaviors played out over
time. Develop the habit of positive thoughts and helpful
behaviors, and, before you know it, you will be feeling good
about yourself and your life.
#2: SELF-ACCEPTANCE
Becoming more self-aware is an important first step on the
road to self-esteem. But while you’re noticing, you also
need to accept what you’re finding out about yourself.
People often have a lot of trouble with this step, because
their thoughts and assumptions get in the way.
Assumption: It’s just as likely that I’m not the problem, as
that I am.
Thought: Is there something about this situation that reminds
me of an anxiety-provoking situation from childhood? (i.e.
something I can do a little inner work with right here and
now) Or is my anxiety telling me something important
about the people in this room? (some useful information I
need to identify about the situation).
Assumption: I can trust my own awarenesses, feelings,
and abilities.
Thoughts: I can trust my hunch about what is happening...
what do I know about my strengths and abilities that can
help me out with this situation?
By identifying her assumptions and redirecting her thoughts,
Gail can take herself out of the one-down position which is
engendering and feeding her anxiety, and get back in touch
with her strengths and capabilities.
Thoughts like “What’s wrong with me?...” “I shouldn’t be
feeling this way...” “Why can’t I get over this?” “It must be
my fault...” stem from embedded assumptions like “I’m not
worthwhile”, “My feelings don’t count”; “I have less right
to take up space on planet Earth than s/he does”; “I have
nothing important to contribute here”.
#3: SELF-AFFIRMATION
Gail is a manager in a high-tech company. Lately she’s
become aware that she’s been saying things in meetings that
cause her to appear stupid. Upon reflection, she’s aware
that the main feeling she experiences during these meetings
is anxiety. But rather than just accepting her reaction, she
questions it, saying to herself, “What’s wrong with me?” “I
should have had that covered.”
The key concept here is INTENTIONALITY – using your
will to consistently point yourself in a helpful direction.
The result is predictable...by questioning her reaction, Gail
becomes even more anxious than she was in the first place.
There are a number of more helpful, self-accepting thoughts
and assumptions Gail could be entertaining as she’s meeting
with her peers.
Assumption: I am a capable person who from time to time
gets anxious.
Resulting helpful thought: Anxiety is a natural reaction
when a person feels threatened. It’s okay to feel anxious,
even if it’s not fun.
34
HEARTBUSINESSJOURNAL.COM
A discipline is simply a habit that’s practiced intentionally
on a regular basis. Self-affirmation involves disciplining
oneself to be intentionally self-aware and self-accepting
over a period of time.
For example, Gail could choose to think helpful thoughts,
instead of unhelpful ones, each time she’s in a threatening
situation at work. If Gail could do this consistently, she
would be practicing the discipline of self-affirmation. She would be thinking and acting from the assumption
that she is a lovable and capable person, and she would
be doing this even when she has made mistakes and
experienced failures.
Self-affirmation is not a synonym for grandiosity or selfdelusion... it doesn’t involve telling yourself you’re perfect
when you’re not, or pretending you haven’t made mistakes
when you have. Instead, affirming yourself through life’s difficulties
involves noticing the truth, and choosing to forgive yourself
when you goof up. You don’t want to let yourself off too
easily – being too forgiving undermines competence and
WINTER 2010
thus decreases self-esteem. But it’s important to give
yourself lots of space to just be human.
In addition to helpful self-talk, there are many other concrete
ways to practice self-affirmation.
1. JOURNALING
By taking the time to write down and consider your deepest
thoughts and reflections, you are automatically affirming
that you are worthwhile and important. The added side
benefits of journaling are increased self-awareness and
self-acceptance. Two helpful resources on journaling are
The Artist’s Way, by Julia Cameron, and Write it Down,
Make it Happen, by Henriette Klauser.
2. NOTES
It may sound hokey, but people find it very powerful to write
themselves notes. When I was in a low period during my
university days, I wrote out the sentence I AM LOVEABLE
AND CAPABLE in big letters and posted it on my bathroom
mirror. It helped! Other people write themselves “Rainy
Day Letters” just for days when they are down. I keep a file
of all the thank you letters from clients, and read them when
I need encouragement.
3. FUN
When we’re down on ourselves, sometimes the last thing
we think of doing is going out and having fun. But pleasure
is tremendously self-affirming, and is often exactly what
we need.
4. COMMUNITY
6. SELF-ASSESSMENT
This is especially helpful form of self-affirmation during
times of transition when we’re walking in circles,
muttering...”Duh, who am I again?” There are lots of these
available on the internet. My favorites are the MyersBriggs Personality Inventory, DISC Behavioral Inventory,
and Strong Interest Inventory. Do a few of these and you
will have a structured way to think about yourself and
your capabilities, and will hopefully come to some new
awarenesses as well.
7. CREATIVITY
Putting yourself out there in the universe in any way, shape,
or form helps remind you that you are worthwhile. So write
a song, form a hockey team, build a boat, pen a poem, create
a drawing, make some curtains – and affirm yourself at the
same time.
Self-awareness is the foundational stepping stone,
self-acceptance starts you down the road, and selfaffirmation keeps you rolling down the highway! Practice these three disciplines, and you’ll be well
on your way to greater self-confidence and selfesteem. Y
Lois Raats, MEd CCC BCC www.ready2grow.com
May be distributed freely, with credits and with no changes
made, for any non-profit purpose.
It goes without saying that the support of friends, colleagues,
and family is crucial for a healthy sense of self. When your
tank is empty, call a friend – but learn to support yourself
through other methods when friends are not available.
5. SPIRITUAL PRACTICE
Meditation, prayer, and scripture reading can help you to
understand your purpose, get a sense of the “Big Picture” of
your life, and keep your other problems in perspective.
WINTER 2010
HEARTBUSINESSJOURNAL.COM
35
MENTORSHIP
Lisa Caldas Kappesser
EMOTIONAL
INTELLIGENCE
IS BECOMING MORE IMPORTANT
TO EMPLOYERS
36
HEARTBUSINESSJOURNAL.COM
WINTER 2010
M
In today’s economy, it’s not always the most qualified
candidate who lands the job. Employers are increasingly
opting to hire people who exude high emotional intelligence
over those who possess the most experience, says Lisa
Caldas Kappesser, author of the new book The Smart New
Way to Get Hired: Use Emotional Intelligence and Land the
Right Job.
Kappesser describes emotional intelligence as a group of
four skill sets or competencies that, when used together
effectively, can help people achieve their goals, including
landing a new job. These four skill sets include: selfawareness, self-management, social awareness and social
skills. According to Kappesser, people utilizing these skill
sets have a big advantage in the job hunt and in their careers.
“Employers look for emotional intelligence when they
hire or promote employees. They’re developing structured
interview questions and giving assessments that tap into
emotional intelligence, because research has convinced
them that such intelligence is a critical part of developing
high potentials, star performers and leaders.”
Throughout her book, Kappesser provides tips for developing
emotional intelligence and maximizing it to become a
standout candidate in the job hunt. This advice includes the
following EQ (short for emotional intelligence) techniques
to help candidates excel during interviews:
•
Focus on three main points. Pick three points or
messages that should be highlighted throughout your
overall interview performance. Plan how you will
get these points across through your answers to interview
questions.
•
Research what the company needs and share how you
meet those needs. Employers admire candidates
who show genuine interest in their company by being
knowledgeable.
WINTER 2010
MENTORSHIP
•
•
Know your brand. You distinguish yourself from others
by branding yourself and showing what makes you
unique or different. Ask yourself how you want others
to think of you and remember you when you leave the
interview.
Create a good communication flow. Keep your answers
short, clear and to the point. Let the interviewer ask for
more detail about any information you share. When you
don’t fully understand a question, ask for clarification.
This shows good listening and communication skills.
•
Smile and show a sense of humor. This helps create a
positive connection with the interviewer which can give
you the edge over other qualified candidates. Y
More tips and information about how emotional
intelligence impacts a person’s success can be
found in The Smart New Way to Get Hired.
It is available at Amazon.com, in all major
bookstores and from the publisher (www.jist.com
or 1.800.648.JIST).
The author, Lisa Caldas Kappesser, is president of EQ
Coaching Solutions, where she provides quality career and
executive coaching services and educates organizations on
the importance of emotional intelligence in career success.
She has a M.A. from the University of Notre Dame, and is
a certified career coach through The College of Executive
Coaching. To schedule an interview with her or to request a
copy of her book, contact Selena Dehne.
JIST, America’s Career Publisher, is a division of EMC/
Paradigm Publishing. As the leading publisher of job search,
career and occupational information, JIST empowers
today’s workforce and students to achieve long-lasting
rewards in their careers.
HEARTBUSINESSJOURNAL.COM
37
MENTORSHIP
HEART JOURNAL EXERCISE
“Where your pleasure is,
there is your treasure;
where your treasure,
there your heart;
where your heart,
there is your happiness”.
St. Augustine
In this issue, we ask you to think about Gratitude – to put you
in a positive mental framework. Take time to reflect on your
life. If that is too overwhelming, just focus on 2010. What are
some of the key accomplishments this past year? What growth
milestones have you achieved and who has been instrumental
in helping you achieve your goals? Give yourself permission
to congratulate yourself; to give yourself a pat on the back for
all that you have achieved, survived, accomplished and dared
to dream about. We tend to focus or obsess over our perceived
failures or life challenges, forgetting all the wonderful
accomplishments that also colour our journey. One only has
to reflect on 2010 to feel gratitude for all that we have. Our
Canadian Olympic athletes took us to heights unimagined with
grace and excellence. The Chilean miner’s mental endurance
and positivity has inspired the world, not to mention the
unification of the many countries that collaborated to engineered
their safe rescue. The spirit and strength of the Haitian people
after yet another catastrophe. Or a look toward our American
neighbours, who have lost their homes and jobs in the aftermath
of the economic crisis. And the Canadian men and women
fighting to protect and secure our freedom and safety, many of
whom will never return to their families or their peaceful life
again. When you step back and consider all that has happened
in 2010, we all have so many reasons to be grateful.
When you come from a place of gratitude, you are open to
so many possibilities. It is hard not to let the smile lift your
lips and cheeks into that wonderful pose , releasing positive
endorphins in your brain that seem to make their way to
your toes. So, as you reflect on 2010 and start planning
for 2011, start by listing all the things you are grateful for.
Don’t be modest; be generous to yourself and make sure
you acknowledge all your achievements and small jesters
(like paying for someone’s coffee at the drive thru, taking
that painting class you’ve always wanted or closing that
deal you have been working on for months). Focus on your
commitment to growth, on your ability to dream and to make
your dreams reality. Focus on living today; crossing off items
on your ‘bucket list’ now! It’s only too late if you don’t start
now, so smile and get started!
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WINTER 2010
Journal
MENTORSHIP
READY FOR A FRESH START IN 2011?
1. List at least 3 key accomplishments in 2010 – what are you most proud of?
2. What new ‘truth’ did you discover about yourself in 2010?
3. List at least 3 people or factors that you are most grateful for?
4. What were the greatest lesson(s) in 2010?
5. How will those lessons impact your future behaviour/attitude?
6. What event in 2010 shaped or redefined your life goals?
7. Do you feel you are living authentically? How can you strengthen this area?
8. When was the last time you laughed so hard your stomach ached?
9. When was the last time you treated yourself to a ‘me day’? If you haven’t taken one, why?
10. When you think about starting the new year, how does that make you feel? Why?
11. List 5 career goals for 2011.
12. List 3 dream or ‘bucket list’ activities that you will make happen in 2011.
13. If you have been putting off living your dream life list the top 5 reasons for your delay.
a.
Now, list 3 action items that will help you achieve your goals. 14. Make a list of those who can help you achieve your goals and for whom you are grateful for.
Date and sign this journal entry:
Completed on:
I pledge to revisit my goals on: (must be within 3 months)
I pledge to follow-up and to make my dreams and goals a priority:
(your signature)
WINTER 2010
HEARTBUSINESSJOURNAL.COM
39
MENTORSHIP
Darcey-Lynn Marc
I
MYERS BRIGGS TYPE INDICATOR
AS A STRATEGIC BUSINESS RESOURCE
If you have never considered the Myers Briggs Type
Indicator (MBTI) as a powerful addition to your strategic
planning process, you are likely missing an opportunity
to boost the depth and breadth of your discussions.
One of the cornerstones of effective strategic planning
is communication. The ability and willingness to gather
information, share insights, challenge ideas and opinions
and distill a focused and meaningful direction for an
organization. This is no easy task in a world that is
increasingly diverse and complex. The members of leadership teams and governing bodies are
made of diverse individuals with various experiences, skills,
paradigms and preferences. These unique characteristics
bring value to the discussion. They also serve as filters
of information and shape how information is shared and
discussed. Some of the pitfalls that even experienced and
skilled groups fall into include the following:
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•
•
•
•
•
•
•
•
•
•
Discounting an idea that seems too outside the box
Some individuals seeming to dominate the discussion,
always having an opinion on any point that is raised
Others who do not share any information until near the
very end of the discussion
Some wanting only practical, proven strategies that
move the organization forward incrementally while
others are looking for expansive change with the debate
ending in a stalemate
Frustration between members who are ‘over prepared”
versus those that seem to just show up and dive into
the discussion
Discussions that seem to jump from one idea to the next
with no destination ever arrived at
A process that is prescribed, followed with no room
for deviation
Some wanting volumes of data and information in order
to move forward
Others who seem to make decisions based on little or no
information at all
Some hearing information in a very literal way while the
presenter is speaking in a more figurative way sometimes
leading to a mismatch in understanding
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MENTORSHIP
The MBTI is a powerful starting point for strategic
discussions. By alerting the group members to their natural
style regarding information gathering, analyzing, decision
making and need for conclusion versus a more open ended
approach, experiences that might seem to be rooted in conflict
are better recognized as simply being differences. Once
individuals understand and can recognize what is different,
a transformation in the discussion often occurs. Dialogue
emerges rather than positional debate. The focus becomes
on the topic rather than on the people. The facilitator of
the strategic planning process is also better able to alert the
group to any situations where the natural type is helping or
hindering the discussion.
By introducing the MBTI as an opening strategy in the
process, the group also learns about the profile of the group,
alerting them to any natural biases or pitfalls to watch out
for. (if the entire group is predominantly iNtuitive, they
may risk setting direction with insufficient evidence for the
direction; in contrast, a group that is predominantly Sensing
might get bogged down in searching for enough data to have
confidence in the direction they are contemplating).
The MBTI also serves as a natural team building experience
often creating a stronger sense of group. This is particularly
valuable for governing bodies who may only come together
4 to 6 times a year so have less time to form as a high
performing team yet have substantial influence over the
direction of an organization.
It provides individuals with a common language to challenge
ideas and approaches taken by others. (“do we really need
that much evidence to move forward or is it just our natural
preference to gather this evidence” or, “ are we making too
big a leap here because it feels so energizing to our natural
way of doing something?”). This is true for the strategic
planning discussion but also in future meetings.
Being aware of the type profile of the group also supports
effective preparation of pre-meeting materials, ensuring that
the information needs of all preferences are met rather than
just a select group. This promotes all members of the group
being able to appear equally prepared and encouraged to
participate at the meeting.
the organization spent countless hours in meetings to
improve processes, information and products for this very
client? How could the client not know how important they
were…”we were spending thousands of hours and dollars
to improve for them”. Well, when the INTP organization
discovered their client organization was operating as an
ESFJ organization, many light bulbs went on. The client wanted to build a relationship, be involved and participate
in the changes and wanted things done sooner than later. What the client experienced was no contact… because the
service provider was trying to “make things perfect and then
showcase them to the client”. By using the MBTI as part of
the SWOT analysis, the organization was able to adjust their
approach in working with this client and built a stronger
relationship, keeping them as a client.
If you are interested in using the MBTI as part of your
strategic planning process, you will need to involve
someone who is qualified to administer and debrief the
MBTI. The questionnaire provides a comprehensive
individual report. Another report that I have used that
groups have found very helpful is the MBTI Team Report. This creates a team profile illustrating where the strengths
and blind spots are for that particular team. This is an
insightful start to a planning process.
TIPS TO PLANNING A
“TYPE-FRIENDLY” MEETING
To support all type preferences and maximize the
natural contribution of type in meetings, the following
tips will promote a “total type friendly” meeting:
PREPARATION
• Circulate an agenda in advance to support
individuals who prefer to think through their contribution
in advance; this helps them be “ready to contribute” at
the beginning of the meeting
Provide specifics in the agenda; include details
about outcomes and preparation required; for each
agenda item, where possible, include enough detail so
participants know what to expect
The MBTI is also a powerful resource when conducting
a SWOT analysis. Identifying the type profile of the
organization and comparing this to other stakeholder groups
or customer organizations is invaluable in identifying goals
and strategies to build stronger relationships. •
One organization was struggling to understand why their
client organization was continually frustrated with them
and were sending signals that they were going to look
elsewhere for a service provider. How could this be when
•
WINTER 2010
Let people know about start and finish time;
be prepared to stick to these or let individuals know
upfront if the times listed are just “best guesstimates”
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41
MENTORSHIP
Support different preparation styles; some
individuals will naturally prepare well in advance of the
meeting and others will naturally prepare just before the
meeting begins; both type preferences might be equally
valuable contributors but the diversity in their preparation
strategies might lead to assumptions being made about
who is more “engaged and interested”. Be cautious as
this might simply reflect a different process in preparing
rather than who is more interested and supportive.
•
MEETING DYNAMICS
• Maximize different processing styles; recognize
that some people naturally process information at a
subconscious level; this creates a very rapid processing
of information; others naturally process information at a
conscious level; this is a naturally slower process
•
•
- Provide opportunities for individuals to digest new
information before moving on, particularly for critical
topics. This might simply mean providing a few
minutes for each person to review data and identify
their questions and concerns; or asking people to
discuss/evaluation the topic with someone sitting
next to them before coming back to large group
discussion.
- If possible, relate the new information to something
that has been successful or similar in the past.
Be change conscious; for topics that are introducing
significant change, some individuals will naturally
“accept the possibility of the change” and jump on board
quite quickly, even with little supporting evidence; others
will expect and demand more thorough data and proof
before agreeing to or supporting the direction. - Ensure that there is sufficient evidence/data
available to individuals in advance of the meeting or
during the meeting to best support this natural
process.
•
Ensure that groups who might be faster to jump to
conclusions consider sufficient information.
•
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Work with the group at the beginning of the meeting
to determine “meeting norms” to deal with situations
where there appears to be a stalemate over lack of data;
Provide data where possible; sometimes for
new endeavors, it will be a leap of faith; help people
understand the degree of proof that will or will not be
available and why; ensure individuals are aware of the
risk of moving forward or not.
•
Maintain a “group record” that is visible. The use
of flipcharts to track key decisions, questions raised or
important information can be invaluable to support type
preferences that naturally get energized by repeating
information that has already been raised. The visibility of
what has been discussed reduces the sense of need to
raise the same point over and over again.
Provide a parking lot and post its for each meeting
participant; individuals with a natural extraversion tend to
“think out loud” and can be experienced as interrupting. By providing them with post its to record their thoughts,
this ensures their need to “think out loud” is supported
but done in a way that supports dialogue among all
meeting participants
•
Provide regular thinking breaks; for some natural
types, there is a strong preference to not share
information until their thoughts are fully formed and
thought through. Providing a 5 minute “think break”
prior to final discussion and decision can support this
preference in feeling more “ready” to contribute to the
important discussion
•
DECISION MAKING
• Be aware of natural blind spots; if and when
individuals stick to their natural type in decision-making,
blind spots can be created. Provide the group with a list
of questions to consider as decisions are being made. The questions should reflect perspectives from Sensing,
iNtuition, Thinking and Feeling. During the discussion or
just prior to making the decision, ask participants to scan
the list and see if there are any outstanding questions to
WINTER 2010
MENTORSHIP
consider. Examples of questions include the following:
- What do we know; how do we know it (Sensing)
- What else can we come up with? (iNtuition)
- What are the logical consequences of this
decision? (Thinking)
- What do we like and dislike? (Feeling)
Watch for early or late closing; natural type
preferences can lead individuals to feel more or less
energized about bringing the discussion to a conclusion
and making a decision. - If the group you are working with are predominantly
Judging in their preference, they would naturally
move to a conclusion sooner than later. It will be
important for this group to assess whether sufficient
information has been gathered and if there is a risk
in moving to a decision at this time.
- If the group is more predominantly Perceiving, their
natural tendency would be to avoid making a decision
or bringing discussions to conclusion as “there could
be just one more vital piece of information to
consider”. So for this group it will be important to
consider the risk in not making the decision and
moving on.
•
All type preferences make a powerful contribution to
meetings and to a decision making process. Groups that
understand type and the influence it has on group dynamics
and decision making are better able to tap into all types
to promote a more well rounded discussion and decisions. Each person is capable of tapping into both their preferred
type and their less preferred type. By offering some
guidance and structure to promote consideration from an
all type perspective, outcomes and levels of satisfaction
can improve.
WHAT IS THE MYERS-BRIGGS TYPE INDICATOR®?
The Myers-Briggs Type Indicator® (MBTI®) is a short, selfreport questionnaire used to measure and describe people’s
preferences for how they like to get information, make decisions
and orient their lives. Created by a mother-daughter team,
Katherine Briggs and Isabel Myers, the MBTI® instrument
was designed to make Carl Jung’s theory of psychological
types understandable and useful in everyday life.
MBTI is a resource to help individuals explore and discover
WINTER 2010
their natural type preference. All type preferences are equal
in value; there are no “better or worse” types. Importantly
all type preferences are available to use in our daily living.
We naturally gravitate to some (our natural preferences)
while for other preferences we have to make a more conscious
effort to tap into and use them.
After more than 50 years of research and development, the
current MBTI® tool is the most widely used instrument for
understanding individual personality differences. Last year
alone, over two million people gained valuable insight about
themselves and the people they interact with by taking the
MBTI® instrument.
The MBTI® instrument provides a versatile measure of
personality that looks at eight personality preferences people
use at different times. These eight preferences are organized
into four, dichotomous scales, which are illustrated below.
FOCUS OF ATTENTION
• Extraversion - Energized by people and things in the
external world.
• Introversion - Energized by ideas or impressions in the
inner world.
INFORMATION INPUT
• Sensing - Gather details and facts that can be confirmed by
experience.
• Intuition - Gather ideas and see future possibilities.
DECISION MAKING
• Thinking - Make decisions by logic and analysis.
• Feeling - Make decisions based on personal values.
LIFESTYLE
• Judging - Enjoy planning and deciding.
• Perceiving - Enjoy remaining open to new options.Y
Darcey-Lynn Marc brings over 29 years of experience in
leadership and organizational development to her consultation
services and sessions. Darcey-Lynn has a BSc. Specialization
in Psychology and is looking forward to completing a
previously started Masters in Business. She is also certified in
a number of programs including Achieve International, MBTI
and MBTI Step II. A member of the CMC
To reach Darcey-Lynn Marc contact:
Marc & Associates Incorporated
9744-101 Street Edmonton, Alberta, Canada T5K 0W8
Phone: 780 421-7714 Fax: 780 425-1092 - [email protected]
HEARTBUSINESSJOURNAL.COM
43
MENTORSHIP
Lynne Hussey
It’s also an amazing story of leadership: not one super hero,
but a leader, the shift supervisor, Luis Urzua, around whom
other leaders emerged. We ask ourselves, could I have been
that leader? Among a group of workers in a life and death
situation, would I have had what it takes to lead my team to
eventual freedom?
While a corporate crisis is not the same as a mining disaster,
there are universal leadership principles at play whenever
we have to face down obstacles or move through challenges.
Any obstacles, any challenges. Do we as women in business
have what it takes when the crunch comes?
A study of women leaders (The Qualities That Distinguish
Women Leaders, www.calipercanada.com/en/brochures/
WomenLeaderWhitePaper.pdf has been conducted by
Caliper, a global consulting firm. In it, the group of 60
leaders from top companies in the U.S. and U.K. who were
interviewed and surveyed highlighted the significance
of overcoming adversity in their careers. Comparing the
women to men in comparable jobs, the study shows us
women’s distinct strengths as leaders.
COULD YOU DO
WHAT THEY DID?
The miners’ rescue raised the
question. A Caliper study of women
leaders offers a surprising answer.
T
The story of the Chilean miners, successfully rescued after
70 days trapped 700 m underground made us all wonder what
it would be like to be in the situation ourselves. How would we
cope with the stress, the fear of death, the endless waiting, the
terrible heat and humidity? We ask ourselves: would we break
down and go under, or would we have been strong enough to
get through the ordeal and come out in good condition?
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So let’s see how the results measure up against Urzua’s
leadership:
LUIS URZUA, SHIFT SUPERVISOR: Although only
two months on the job in this mine, he had a reputation for
loving and caring for his men. Amid fights and split ups
in the dark days before they were discovered, he saved the
group’s lives by persuading everyone to share food equally.
That meant eating bottle cap-sized bits of tuna every other
day to make three days of food last two weeks.
WOMEN LEADERS BASED ON THE CALIPER
STUDY: Women tend to be highly persuasive rather than
directive because they are able to read situations accurately
and take in information from all sides. And they listen, really
listen. The result is that they can come at a subject from the
others’ perspective, and people they are leading feel more
understood, supported and valued. What makes women do
this? It’s because they tend to genuinely understand and care
about where others are coming from.
WINTER 2010
MENTORSHIP
URZUA: He organized the miners into teams -- then other
leaders emerged who took care of the group’s medical,
spiritual, and technical needs. Urzua divided the group into
3 teams working 8 hour shifts, with every member having
a job. The spiritual leader suggested making a further 11
teams to provide a 3-man buddy system, and the group put
that idea into action as well.
WOMEN LEADERS: Women have a strong tendency
to use a team building leadership style. “We strengthen
ourselves through strengthening others,” is how one of the
study’s participants summed up the predominant attitude of
women leaders. They solicit others’ ideas and tend to use
them in their solutions.
URZUA: In the early, desperate days before the rescue
operation began, Urzua, a man of few words, encouraged
the men constantly. He didn’t sugarcoat the truth, but urged
them to find strength. Above all, he had a sense of purpose,
not just the will to live but the will to love, to reach the
families that were waiting for them.
WOMEN LEADERS: They tend to be passionate and
have a sense of mission about what they are doing. At the
same time, in a series in the Globe and Mail (Women in
Power), Hydro One CEO Laura Formusa said her love of
the company was key to her staying and rising to a position
of leadership.
URZUA: He spoke with rescuers, reporting on the situation
and receiving three briefings a day about the miners’
medical condition and the rescue operation. But at one point,
he became impatient with the psychologist. “Let’s keep it
short,” he said, “we have work to do down here.”
WOMEN LEADERS: Women leaders are more likely
to push back if they are overly bound by regulations and
rules. They tend to feel more urgency to get things done than
male leaders and are less likely to hesitate or focus on the
small details. They engage in more risk taking and come
up with innovative solutions. Women will run the risk of
occasionally being wrong or breaking the rules in order to
get things done. And with their fine abstract reasoning skills,
they will learn from any mistakes and carry on. WINTER 2010
URZUA: He experienced moments of doubt when no rescue
was in sight, but he somehow had faith. He said, “We had
strength, spirit, we wanted to fight [to survive].”
WOMEN LEADERS: The women in the Caliper study
candidly shared stories of failures and obstacles. They
admitted they were often hard on themselves at first, but
showed a lot of determination to bounce back. If others
thought they couldn’t do it, that motivated them to show the
world they could. And as Sandra Dawe, managing partner of
Shibley Righton LLP, said in Lawyers’ Weekly, “Women
are more likely to take chances now, pick themselves up,
dust themselves off, and move forward.”
Luis Urzua showed he could lead a group that stands as a
brilliant example of teamwork. After all, the inclusive team
building leadership style that comes naturally to women would have worked pretty well down in the mine.
We may all be better in a crunch than we know, especially
when it comes to leading our group out of a tough spot. Y
Even more than men, women
leaders naturally tend to have:
PERSUASIVE MOTIVATION
WILLINGNESS TO RISK URGENCY
SOCIABILITY
ASSERTIVENESS
EMPATHY
FLEXIBILITY
Lynne Hussey is a Toronto writer specializing in workplace
issues. She is currently an editorial staff member of Caliper
Canada, http://www.calipercanada.com/en/contact.asp.
Caliper is a global consulting firm that has been helping hire
and build outstanding teams and develop organizations for
more than 40 years. Email Lynne at [email protected]
HEARTBUSINESSJOURNAL.COM
45
PERSONAL DEVELOPMENT
Tanis Helliwell
“When one door of opportunity
closes, another opens; but often
we look so long at the closed
door that we do not see the one
which has been opened for us.”
Helen Keller
SEEKING THE LIGHT AT THE END OF THE TUNNEL
Everywhere I go people speak of the stress they are
experiencing. This stress has intensified this year because
of the unsettled world situation politically, economically,
and most important environmentally. These situations have
created a great deal of fear and, when fear rises, joy declines.
There is a kind of heaviness of spirit in the atmosphere that
weighs people down. This means that people are no longer
enjoying the beauties that life holds for them.
Perhaps we cannot control what happens in Pakistan, or
to the stock market, or if our work is currently in demand
or not. But we are far from powerless. We have the choice
each day about how we react to difficult situations and we
can choose an attitude of peace, love and gratitude that
nurtures our soul and the soul of others. But how do we
lighten up enough to embrace these higher emotions?
REEXAMINE ALL YOU HAVE BEEN TAUGHT
TRANSFORM
YOUR LIFE &
WORK
LIGHTENING UP
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Walt Whitman once wrote “Re-examine all you have been
taught; dismiss what insults your soul and your very flesh
will become a great poem.”
We can no longer look to leaders out there to solve our
problems, and to give us codes to live; we need to do this
ourselves.
Exercise: Is there any work or people that insult your soul
that you feel ready to let go of in your life?
WINTER 2010
PERSONAL DEVELOPMENT
ARE YOUR FORMER GOALS STILL APPROPRIATE?
From time to time, we need to see if the soul goals we have
been working on still apply. Goals change as we do and
what makes us happy at 20 may no longer at 40. If we are
relatively happy with our lives, and feel that our goals are
more or less in keeping with our lives purpose, we need
only make small corrections.
Sometimes, however, radical adjustments are necessary .For
instance, we might feel that we have achieved the goals we
set and now need new ones. Or we might not have had such
a positive experience. Rather than feel that we have actively
chosen our life paths, we feel like victims. We accepted—
without critical thought—what our parents or culture told us
would make us happy and led that life. Perhaps, we chose a
career for money and not for love. If this has happened, we
may experience a deep depression in middle age when we
realize that our chosen work is without soul and meaning.
What follows is predictably a great deal of pain as we
attempt to realign with the soul’s purpose.
Exercise: Are the goals you have pursuing this year still
meeting your needs or are there some you need to eliminate
and others you need to add?
RETREATS TO REFOCUS AND
RECHARGE YOUR ENERGY
During both scenarios, we need retreat time. Retreats could
be time spent be ourselves at a cottage where we meditate,
write in our journal and walk in nature. It could also be
taking part in an organized retreat lasting from one week
to several months. Another option is to spend time with
our family and close friends to rediscover ourselves and to
grow together with people we love.
Some of us might need only a small adjustment to our life
paths to bring more soul into our personal and professional
lives. We might feel that we are relatively on track but that
we are too busy, doing too much and need to take time to
reassess our priorities.
WINTER 2010
Others of us might be experiencing a soul sickness, which
is accompanied by varying degrees of anger, guilt, despair
and continual anxiety. The solution to our “dis-ease” may
elude us. We know what makes us unhappy, but may not
be able to determine what would make us happy. We may
hesitate to give up the security of our present situation for
the unknown and stay even when we are miserable. We
feel trapped and victimized, which adds to our despair.
Our despair can have a serious effect on those around
us and may lead to strained relationships and even their
termination.
Exercise: Is it important for you to have a retreat currently?
If so, what time are you prepared to commit? Even if you
can only devote a half hour a day to meditating this is a
mini-retreat.
LETTING GO AND LIGHTENING UP
During this process we need time out to create a space for
a new thought to enter. We must empty ourselves of the
old in order to birth our new life purpose. We must detach
ourselves from old patterns of stability and willingly enter
the chaos of uncertainty from which a new soul direction
will ultimately arise. We cannot set a time for how long
this entire process will take. It depends on how long it takes
to release our old patterns. By engaging in this journey of
discovery we find a new purpose for our life and rediscover
joy. Y
Tanis Helliwell is the founder of The International
Institute for Transformation, which assists individuals
to live and work with meaning and purpose. She is
the author of the best-selling book Take Your Soul
to Work and a new book called Embraced by Love.
To celebrate we offer Take Your Soul to Work to all
readers for only $10 (retails for $21.95) plus GST
and postage. Contact www.iitransform.com or call
(403) 241-0933 in Calgary for details.
HEARTBUSINESSJOURNAL.COM
47
PERSONAL DEVELOPMENT
Taylor Williams
E
Chasing the ELUSIVE
State of Consciousness
Eight years ago, my son Alex and I were engaged
in a deep ‘what do you want to do when you grow up’
conversation. As the conversation unfolded, Alex asked
me a question which became one of my wake-up calls. My
son asked if I was now doing what I’d always wanted to do
with my life. While I stammered through an appropriate
and justified response, I ultimately did respond with the
truth that ‘no I was not, and that would begin to change
right now’.
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That moment with Alex deepened my resolve to role
model a life that was possible for him versus telling him. I realized that as a parent, I could only give away what I
myself had. Rather than use words to ignite the potential
of my child or discuss a higher source that he could connect
to for wisdom, I had to become a fully conscious being; the
ultimate role model to his observing eyes.
I would like to say that at that moment, everything changed
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PERSONAL DEVELOPMENT
and I quickly went on to live the life of my dreams,
connected to my Soul and attain my fullest capacity for
consciousness, but I did not. I did however point my head
and heels down with a shift in perspective. My son, in that
moment, and to this day , remains my catalyst for some
of the most profound and transformative personal changes
that I’ve been able to make.
My life has been riddled with mistakes, harm caused to
others, living selfishly and so forth...but I have finally
come to understand that we really are all designed with a
capacity for consciousness; including me. Life has been a
process of learning who I was not, in order to know who
I am. To allow love and acceptance for every aspect of
myself is the journey; not attaching the definition of my
Self to any labels, roles or titles.
I have tried religion, non-religion and new-age; each
with outrageous stories to accompany those experiences. I have read many of the books from the ‘great spiritual
teachers’ that so many of us follow and admire. There
has also been an extraordinary amount of time and
money dedicated towards therapy, counselling, personal
development, recovery programs and spiritual growth
courses; add to my spiritual development repertoire, is an
admirable list of courses, workshops and counselling on
understanding how to meet my son where he is versus
pulling him to where I was.
Despite my efforts, I continued to have, the emotional
rollercoaster engage once again. It seemed that despite my
hard work and sincere efforts, I was just destined to live
with fleeting moments of peace.
My experience of life has begun to change as a result of a
profound and sacred process that I was introduced to only
3 short months ago. I finally know that the tumultuous ride
I have been on is coming to an end, giving way to a re-birth
of myself and forever changing my experience of life right
down to the roots.
The process was created by Jonathan Davies and grounded
by his wife Hazel. After a lifetime of spiritual study,
Jonathan was given a blessing which he is now able to offer
to others who ask. This is his life work, a heart to heart
transfer of a completed energetic space which accelerates
an individual’s journey to consciousness.
When Jonathan and Hazel explained the nature of their
work, the Unity Bubble, it sounded WAY TOO GOOD
TO BE TRUE. I was checking internally for red flags
and found none. There was a deep level of compassion,
humility and wisdom in their tone, way of being and
presence. In July 2010 I received my own Unity Bubble
WINTER 2010
which, I was told would continue to evolve and unfold
throughout my lifetime.
The initial stages are a clearing of all unresolved issues,
unhealed wounds and any lingering blockages interfering
with my capacity for consciousness. At the beginning, many
challenges bubbled up to the surface but I understood that
inside my bubble at this time, they were arising for the last
time once I dove right into the heart of each issue...where
the truth resides. Every step of the way, as each issued
appeared in rapid fire succession, I engaged in the process
as an observer of the challenge versus an experience. Each time an uncomfortable feeling or situation showed
up, rather than seeing the ‘same ole same ole’, I took the
perspective of ‘appearing for the last time’ and would ask
‘it’ the question “Why would this situation, pattern or
feeling be appearing now...what can I learn, what have I
misunderstood in the past about myself in relation to this?”
This has been a profound experience of becoming more
and more intimately familiar with who I am underneath
all the titles, roles, relationships or possessions I have; an
experience that is extremely difficult for me to describe.
This journey all began with my knowing about myself and
life that “This isn’t it, I don’t know what is...but I am going
out looking for it”! I have taken rests along the way to
reflect, absorb and process; as I continue to do within the
completion of my initial 3 months – the clearing period.
As I have just completed my ‘clearing and releasing’ phase
of this journey, I feel as though I have grown from a 42
year old little girl into a powerful, more aware woman. I
can sense the shift that is occurring in and around me. The
clarity which comes in response to my internal questions
still stuns me. The power of manifestation is compounding
and I am really quite amazed at how one week I will
identify a skill or thing that I need, one week later at the
most, the person or resource shows up who offers precisely
what I ‘called out for’.
I am told that the next stage of my journey will be an
unfolding and rebirth of Taylor, now developing from a
clean and pure space of intention and choice. Y
This article is an excerpt from Taylor Williams
current work in progress and soon to be published
The Elusive State of Consciousness. Stay tuned for
publication dates and details or follow Taylor’s
journey – visit The www.unitybubble.com website to
get more info and also to find the contact info for
‘The Bubble People’ – Jonathan & Hazel.
HEARTBUSINESSJOURNAL.COM
49
PERSONAL DEVELOPMENT
Journal
READY FOR A FRESH START IN 2011?
A. Engaging in an honest self - appraisal, ask yourself the following question and notice the feelings which come up in
response. Note in your journal the immediate thoughts and how you felt when you read the question.
Are you now, currently being the role model in your life, which small YOU as a 3 year, old would look up to?
B. Sit back, relax and engage in a scan through all areas of your life, through perceiving images, seeing pictures or
noticing feelings in response to areas of your life. Pay attention to where you seem to get or ‘feel’ stuck in the energy of
an emotion, area or situation...stay with it and write about that experience.
C. Based on where you were ‘stuck’ from the question above, consider that that may be the one or two areas which are
closest to the surface, readily available for your access to begin delayering and clearing.
Ask yourself and write your thoughts, feelings or emotions in response to “What is the seed of truth or wisdom buried
within this situation which I may have missed in the past?”
**If you keep coming up with more questions, versus clarity that is just fine – follow the golden thread of your questions.
You will discover a nugget of gold truth, if you are willing to discover where this line of questioning leads.
D. Now ask yourself, in response to what you discovered through the preceding question:
“Am I now ready and willing completely release this from my experience & memories going back to the first inception?” If your answer was yes – go through which ever actions or process which seem right to you for releasing something. If
the answer was no, ask yourself “If not now, when will I be ready and willing?” and be okay with whatever your answer
is; self love and acceptance is key here regardless of your answer.
50
HEARTBUSINESSJOURNAL.COM
WINTER 2010
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WINTER 2010
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HEARTBUSINESSJOURNAL.COM
51
PERSONAL DEVELOPMENT
Dorothy Ratusny
M
My approach to life (which inherently shows up in
my work as a Psychotherapist, Life Coach and Author) is
‘forward-minded’. I ascribe to the notion that standing
still (metaphorically speaking) means I am not moving
forward and I need to move forward in order to create,
inspire, live, enjoy and become ‘more’. ‘More’ in this case
means: evolving, growing, learning and changing in order
to become a better (human and spiritual) being. I am also
a big believer in ‘walking the talk’ – I can’t expect clients
and others to practice the core values I suggest and share
if I don’t. This certainly doesn’t mean that I am perfect but
rather that I too am walking gratefully in my own journey.
At the same time I promote and recognize growth and
change, I am very aware of the incredible lightness that
comes from being grateful and content with what ‘is’ and
joyful in ‘present moment awareness’. In order to facilitate
positive change, it’s imperative that you know what you
want. Reflecting “forward” means paying close attention
to where you currently are in a way that also highlights for
you what you’ve accomplished to date. So many people consider action as movement in some way. Fewer people realize that before you move in any direction,
some thought, reflection, and planning deserves to go into
guiding you. Your forward action also needs to be based
on what is most important and valuable to you.
GROWTH
CHANGE
GRATITUDE
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HEARTBUSINESSJOURNAL.COM
With having a clear plan and a clear path before you, you
can refer to your ideals, your goals, and the steps you need
to take to achieve these goals. It may seem like a lot of
work, but it’s truly what makes the difference between
actualizing all of what you really want and just dreaming
about it.
One highly effective tool that I have used in past workshops
and retreats continues to cultivate incredible insight and
awareness. I share it here with you and urge you to invest
the time to complete all of the steps for its full impact and
learning effect.
CLARIFYING YOUR VALUES
Knowing what is most valuable to you gives you forward
direction in life. You can focus the majority of your time
and energy on these values, rather than on things that are
less important to you. When you have to choose between
alternatives, you can look to your highest priorities to help
you make your decision.
WINTER 2010
PERSONAL DEVELOPMENT
I) Identifying Your Highest Ideals
*Values are ideals. They are the things, experiences,
qualities, and principles that you would most like to have
in your life.
1.
2.
Close your eyes, take a few deep breaths, and relax. Imagine yourself in a favourite place where you can
take a few minutes to think. The time is many years
from now. You have lived a long and full life. Reflect
upon your life from this mature vantage point. What
did you most enjoy experiencing and doing? What did
you most appreciate accomplishing or having? Write
your answers on a piece of paper or in your journal.
Return to your relaxed position and imagine yourself
again in your favourite place. This time, you are still
your current age. You have just learned that you have
a rare illness that has no symptoms but will kill you
in six months. Given only half a year to live, what do
you want to experience, do, accomplish, and have? Write your answers in a separate place in your journal
or on a different piece of paper.
Compare your two sets of answers. Are they the same
or different? Most people actually faced with a lifethreatening illness find that their priorities change. Things
once thought to be crucial seem less important, and things
once overlooked take on new meaning.
II) Order your Values
Take the list that you have developed and order your values
from the most to the least important for you.
III) Set Goals
* Goals are real and specific. Goals are objectives that
you want to achieve, given the constraints of your time and
other resources. To bring your life into closer alignment
with what you consider most worthwhile, create short
(>1yr) , medium (2-3 yrs), and long-term (5 years+) goals
for each of your values.
Some guidelines for setting effective goals:
1.
2.
3.
Is this a goal that you really want to devote a lot of time
and energy to accomplish? Or is it simply a dream of
what you would like to have fall in your lap, but are not
willing to work for?
Is this goal consistent with your highest values? One
reason that you may not accomplish a goal is because
it does not fit in with what is most important to you.
Is this goal achievable? Is it specific enough so that
you will know when you have achieved it? Is it
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4.
5.
achievable within a time frame that you can set for
yourself? (Realize that some goals will take longer
than you think but as long as you keep working on
them, they will materialize). Do you have access to the
resources necessary to achieve it?
Is this goal positive? You are more likely to achieve
goals that you are moving toward rather than away from.
Are your goals in balance? Do most of your goals
involve career and finances, while almost none of them
have to do with health, relationships, and fun? Lack of
balance is a major source of unhappiness and stress.
IV) Create Action Steps
Identify the specific steps that you need to take in order to
achieve each of your goals. The most common reason that
people do not attain their objectives is that they do not have
an action plan that describes step by step how they are going
to get from where they are now all the way to their goal. An effective action plan includes:
• A well thought out and specific goal
• A description of all the resources that you will
need and how you will access them.
• Each step you must take in the correct order
• How you will monitor your progress including
how you will deal with procrastination
• What rewards you will put in place along the way
to motivate and gratify your success
I invite you to re-evaluate your ideals at least yearly. Sometimes, as we change our highest ideals may indeed
change as well. Most important is staying true to yourself
and to what is most important or valuable at any time in
your life. Together with acknowledging your progress and
being grateful for your accomplishments – keep your eyes
clearly on your path, your road and not on the paths of
others for their journey is indeed going to be different –
and not necessarily best for you. Y
*Journal exercise in part adapted from: The Relaxation &
Stress Reduction Workbook: Sixth Edition by Martha Davis
PhD, Elizabeth Robbins Eshelman MSW, and Matthew
McKay PhD (Paperback - Apr 15 2008)
Dorothy Ratusny is a Certified Psychotherapist and Life
Coach in private practice in Toronto, Canada. She works
with teens, adults and couples in addition to facilitating
workshop trainings and holistic retreats. Dorothy is
the author of The Purpose of Love: A Guidebook for
defining and cultivating your most significant relationship
(Insomniac Press, September 2007), Live Your Life’s
Purpose: A Guidebook for Creating and Living a Purposeful
Life (Insomniac Press, October 2008) and INSPIRATION
& WISDOM: A JOURNAL (December 2010). For more
information about the Author please visit her website at:
www.dorothyratusny.com.
HEARTBUSINESSJOURNAL.COM
53
PERSONAL DEVELOPMENT
Judy Bradt
Karen always seems to be able to find a parking space. By
the time the perfect spot appears just where she needs one,
I have a feeling she’s already imagined it and given thanks.
Call it what you like – parking karma, the power of positive
intention, the value of visualization – it’s just part of the way
she moves through the world.
For my part, I didn’t always love writing thank-you notes.
But somewhere along the way, I noticed that I always smiled
while I wrote them, remembering my friend’s kind word or
thoughtful gesture (or massive generosity). That’s an easy
kind of gratitude -- for something obviously nice, given and
received and acknowledge. Those short notes are not merely
the province of the elite: they are a way that each of us can
bring simple grace into a world that is hungry for joy.
L
ON GRATITUDE
Let me begin by saying I’m grateful for my mom.
She…worries. And the world always gives her lots to
work with! She worries about all four of her kids. She
worries about her five grandkids. She worries about
hurricanes out in the Atlantic. It used to make me
crazy, but I’ve recently become grateful for the deeper
gift that the worrying disguises, which she’s passed
along to all her kids: the rock-solid survivor skills that
her father gave her. My grandfather Karl Krawiecki
immigrated to Canada and never stopped reinventing
himself and taking up entirely new careers when times
got tough or the economy shifted. And so no matter
how I feel about the challenge I’m facing, I always
eventually remember that I’ve got it in me to figure it
out and move on, one way or another!
I’m a great believer in gratitude – and I find the more I give
thanks, the more I find to be grateful for. I can’t say I’ve
mastered the art of the grateful response to life. I’ve learned a
lot about it over the last seven years of launching and building
my consulting business. But I can tell you that every time I
take a moment to be grateful for the small things, I start seeing
the bigger ones, too.
Gratitude takes many forms. Have you ever noticed that you
get more of what you spend time thinking about? My sister
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HEARTBUSINESSJOURNAL.COM
Then there’s a more complex kind of gratitude: for the things
that don’t seem to offer a whole lot to be grateful for at the
time. I’m a consultant who runs a solo practice. My entire
body of work is on my computer. And one January day early
in 2009, that computer suddenly turned itself into a doorstop.
It just gave up the ghost. Toast. Okay (deep breath), recession
bedamned: my business was set to grow, and so maybe it
was time for better equipment and backup. Hm, good thing I
have that line of credit. Called the bank – what line of credit?
No, they’d cancelled my line of credit back in the fall…oops
(ten-days-of-me-digging later), administrative error, so sorry.
Could I fax over some documents to show that my company
was still legitimate? Well, lady, the minute you restore the line
of credit, I can replace my fax machine and send that to you!
It was easier to laugh than to cry. I ended up replacing one
processer with two, and the new operating system meant I also
had to get a new monitor and new combo printer. And I didn’t
dig out of my line of credit until after July of 2009. But when
the new computers arrived, I nicknamed one “Hope” and the
other “Change.” Funny thing is, they’ve brought me plenty
of both!
And then life dishes up days that are so unutterably, deeply
tragic that we can only grieve. Those events change our lives
forever. With time, we heal and are able to see how our lives
are different, and appreciate the good people and remarkable
experiences that entered our lives as a result of even very
difficult times.
My sister Karen and my brothers Lorne and Dave are close in
age but over the last 25 years have spread between Toronto,
Peterborough, Calgary and Washington DC. As we’d
scattered and started families, we’d spent less and less time
doing things together as adults. When we did gather, other
family history could make getting together seem complicated
at best, and stressful at worst.
Then my dad passed away suddenly in 2008. The week
following his death was full of the sadness of losing him – and
WINTER 2010
PERSONAL DEVELOPMENT
each of us has very different memories of him. Yet I marveled
at how well the four of us, once reunited, merged the best of
our extraordinary talents (and set aside our more hard-headed
tendencies) in the public and private acts of honouring our
father in the wake of his passing. I still miss him very much.
Yet, over the last two years, as we’ve gathered more often,
I’ve thought about Dad’s passing bringing us the gift of the
new appreciation my siblings and I have found for each other.
What would it take to weave a single shining thread of
gratitude into the fabric of your life? How would your day
be different if you added a sparkling accent that catches the
light and draws the eye to a flash of beauty, and makes you
appreciate the interplay of warp and woof, the craft of the
creator, for just an instant?
TIPS FOR GRATITUDE JOURNALLING
THE WHY
A new year is a wonderful time to reflect on the best of the
year gone by…and create an inviting place for our dreams to
come true in the year to come. The brain and the spirit tend to
generate more of what you focus on … so it makes eminent
sense to fill your mind and heart with images, sounds and
feelings of what you most want to invite into your life.
Dr Maxwell Maltz observed in his book, Psycho-Cybernetics,
that in twenty-one days of dedicated practice, our brains can
lock in a new habit (or a response or an attitude) so strongly
that it’s easier to do it than not do it.
So, how about it? In three weeks, you could be living, breathing,
and attracting more of the things you want to be grateful for.
Gratitude journaling is one more form of imagination. And
it’s one of the most powerful ways to extend that positive
feeling into your day, every day.
THE HOW
Maybe you’re a regular journaller who’s always inspired by
a fresh blank journal. Maybe you haven’t written a personal
journal since that mortifying day that somebody found your
diary in high school. Either way, this doesn’t have to be hard.
And…no guilt. Do your best – that’s all any of us can do.
• Book it: If you don’t already keep a journal, get a
notebook that you’ll use just as a gratitude journal. Either buy
one covered in images you love to look at, or recycle a blank
notebook and cover it with a collage of your own pictures or
images from a magazine.
• Get set: Set the time of day and place that you will write
– that’s part of creating a habit you’ll practice – for each of
those first 21 days. •
Make your commitment: Set a goal for your daily
WINTER 2010
journaling. Julia Cameron, in The Artist’s Way, suggested
writing three pages, anything that comes to your mind, but
keep writing until you have your three pages. Maybe you pick
just one page. Or five bullet points. Or just one thing you can
find in your day to be grateful for.
• Find the Muse in Music: Sometimes music inspires us,
or, if it’s hard to find a quiet time and place to write, plugging
into your music with headphones can create the space you need.
- Procratinator’s tip: Log onto iTunes and explore to find
some new music or artists that you’ll use just to prime
your muse. Then that music can be part of what gets your
mind and spirit ready to write.
• Pick a Focus Point… If you find yourself thinking “oh,
no, I have nothing to say!”, then you could make a list of
“gratitude topics” and work on a different one each day, or
even draw one at random from a list of slips in a bag. Here are
some ideas:
- What did today / yesterday bring that you’re grateful for?
- What lessons did life bring you last year in (pick a
month) that you want to remember in the year to come?
- What are the best things that came out of last year’s
worst events?
- Who are the teachers in your life that you’re most
grateful for?
- What’s on your calendar for tomorrow/next week/next
month that you’re grateful for?
- If you wrote thank you notes to everybody who helped
you this week, who would you thank and why?
- Which of your talents are you most grateful for, and why?
- Which gifts and abilities are you grateful for inheriting
from your family?
- Who are the people who most embody the spirit of
gratitude as you would want to live it?
- What are the smallest things in your life that you most
often overlook but are really grateful for?
• Or just flow….If you find writing comes easily, then you
can focus on the theme of gratitude and pen what flows.
And.. notice! Notice how you feel – while you write, after
you finish. Notice what catches your attention. Do you find
yourself saying, “Gee, that’s one for the gratitude journal”?
FINALLY, CHECK IN WITH YOURSELF AS YOU
PUT DOWN YOUR PEN ON DAY 21. HAS ENOUGH
SHIFTED THAT YOU’LL PICK UP THE PEN AGAIN
TOMORROW? Y
Judy lives in Washington DC, where she’s an award-winning
strategic adviser to established business owners who want to
win American government contracts.
HEARTBUSINESSJOURNAL.COM
55
PERSONAL DEVELOPMENT
Karen Woolley
GRATITUDE
TAKES TWO
T
There are moments when our hearts are overflowing
with joy and we are so grateful for a situation, for people
in our lives, or for the blessings we have been given. In
moments like these, gratitude comes easy.
There are moments of quiet recognition when we
realize that who we are and the gifts and talents we have
developed are as a result of another or many others, as
well as the soul within.
There are moments of desperation when the darkness
chokes the spark from the light we are, and all seems
lost. Yet in those times, the ability to discover the glimmer
of gratitude can begin to shift where you seem to be into
a whole new zone.
For you see gratitude is one of the strongest positive
emotions, next to that granddaddy of all - LOVE, and
gratitude has love at the foundation.
For when you acknowledge the source of the gift, the joy,
and delight in that moment, you bring ME into US with
love. Gratitude is more than being thankful, although
those two words are swopped around now and again.
Gratitude includes another or many, and brings a true love
and appreciation toward them.
The days surrounding the inspiration of this were of turmoil
and darkness. My darling husband and I were in a season of
difficulty with communication at the core of our stubborn
ways. Laundry seemed to be winning the fight against me
again and the renovations from last winter needed to have trim
put back to just finish the job. We hadn’t lost any more sheep
to coyotes but the puppies were having more fun chasing and
playing with the sheep than guarding them as intended. The
new flock of laying hens was not settling in and the winter
coop needed to be finished before the frost came. A dear friend
had been on death’s door and come back but 2 fundraisers
were needed to keep the family on their feet and the marketing
of the events was daunting when financial success was on our
hearts. BG Club for boys and girls ages 3 to 11 was in startup
mode at the local community hall with months of planning,
searching for leadership and then for the children to register.
Prayers were cast on all of these overwhelming crisis’s to lift
us through the muck and mire.
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HEARTBUSINESSJOURNAL.COM
Through it were hope and the light of making a difference.
Through it all was the gratitude that I had the skills to
actualize the plans if the timing would fall into place.
Through this season in my life there was much to wish
away, but in the end I chose to lift in a huge sigh of praise
and be in the middle of it.
The woman I am today can appear to be a bundle of joy
and a light to the outside world. “Where do you get your
energy from? How do you stay so positive? You’re always
smiling and full of life … how do you do it?”
I smile, and point UP. I can’t do it without Him. God. I
receive the power of every day from Him, to do all I need
to do, the things I just can’t face, the things I love to do.
It’s all about God. And for that I am grateful.
The woman I am today looses it when her daughter is
moving in the snails pace of an 8-year old and I’m running
on my tight schedule that only allows for warp speed.
The woman I am today prays for another chance for
forgiveness for habits that are hard to break (the nemesis
of clutter and laundry – I will beat you yet!).
That woman is a product of her parents, siblings,
schooling, career choices, family, communities, faith, and
is truly a one-of-a-kind. The gratitude abounds in all of
those people and in how they touched my life in a George
Bailey sort of way.
So getting here was easy, looking back on it all! It was a
straight line but the tributaries and pathways I could have
taken make the journey look impossible.
- Take the ME in Grade 6, curled up crying inconsolably
in the girl’s washroom after a flippant comment by a boy
in the class (Bradt’s flying low!).
- Take the ME at 28 as I travelled the world alone,
searching for whom I could be and finding the answer
“GIVE BACK”.
- Take the ME in my 30’s going through a 4th
miscarriage feeling hopeless and worthless as a woman.
Please take the me who made choices that I don’t want my
daughter to make in her lifetime.
How did I ever get through it all? There was two or more
every time! Beside me were family, friends, co-workers,
evil people to run from and loving arms to run to.
But if not for all those ME’s of days past, of the mom who
inspired, the dad who loved best he could, the husband
of second and third chances and the God who lets all this
happen for His purpose …. I would not be me.
WINTER 2010
PERSONAL DEVELOPMENT
I am grateful for circumstances, be they dark or brilliant. I
am grateful for the joys and strife of motherhood and pray
that I could be a freckle of glitter for my daughter as she
grows up, just as my mom is to me.
I am grateful for those dark choices that forgiveness has
wiped clean. Those are the ones that provide the deepest
gratitude as they come with the deepest, unconditional love.
I look today at the Karen (Bradt) Woolley and know I am not
alone and I never was. The tiniest of choices wove together
in a tapestry of great beauty with me as the base threads
and all those around me creating the patterns. This work in
progress has a Master Weaver who can see the final creation
and continually brings forth more choices. The joy comes
from getting to make those choices and the gratitude comes
in looking upon that tapestry, bound together with love. Y
Journal
Plot out your path. Draw that straight line and reflect on the tributaries and choices that put you
there. This is not a time for what-ifs but of What I Am!
Draw your tapestry! Take colour and pattern as you reflect on those dark times in your life and
the sparkle and brilliance. Think back to the major events and surround them with the people who
were beside you. Colour them.
Put two columns on the page with one representing you and your circumstances: Home, Community,
Career, Relationship, Crisis, Event and such headers. Now list those you are truly grateful for to
glean learning from in that place. Have you told them?
Buy a box of beautiful blank note cards. Determine to send the entire box out, sending one card
per week, and let someone know they’ve touched your life and you are grateful. It has to be a real,
snail-mail card. Tactile rules in tapestry land.
Reflect on how you would feel if you received such a hand written note in the post out of the blue!
Who are the biggest three recipients of gratitude in your life over the last year? How big was the
part of forgiveness in that gratefulness? Describe that correlation and what you can do to be more
forgiving of others.
What was a dark moment in the last year that you can now see through? Find the gratitude for the
outcome of that season. Describe how that positive spin and being grateful could have lifted you
at the time.
Karen Woolley is a Momtrepreneur -, founder of Music For Moppets, a musical
playgroup. A wife, mother and Christian, she walks the most inspirational
path she can every day. Karen is also Judy Bradt sister! If you would like to
contact Karen or find out more about the music for moppets project, visit www.
MusicForMoppets.CA or email her [email protected]
WINTER 2010
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BODY & SOUL
Jeff Boris
LOVE LIFE
AND LIFE
WILL LOVE
YOU BACK!
L
“Love life and life will love you back” – these words are
hung in my home along with “Life isn’t about finding yourself,
life is about creating yourself.” They are the first words
I wake up to each morning and the last words I see before
going to sleep. As I begin each day it prepares me with the
right mindset of gratitude for whatever the day brings my
way (“good” or “bad”) and empowers me with a reminder
of my inherent potential to create the life experience I desire.
At the end of each day these same words help me find the
greater meaning behind the day’s events, acknowledging my
successes while blessing and releasing the rest. These two
very simple life philosophies express the essence of how our
destiny is created from thoughts to words to actions to habits.
Imagine never having a “bad day”. Those who know me have
asked “Do you ever have a bad day?” I used to have my fair
share, but now I can honestly say I don’t anymore. My wife
sometimes finds this irritating, especially when she’s having her
own “bad day”, no matter how supportive I try to be. If you want
to put an end to having “bad days”, all it takes is a simple shift in
thinking – there is no such thing as a “bad day”; there are only
“good days” and “character building days”. For many people I
know (including myself) this past year had plenty of character
building days. It’s easy to make sense of the “good” in life, but
not always so easy making sense of the “bad”. And this is where
we tend to go wrong. Our mind likes to label things into nice
neat categories we understand. Good versus bad, positive versus
negative, up versus down. But the real meaning of what happens
in life is not so black and white. One of my favourite stories about
this is the “Story of the Taoist Farmer” as told by Chin-Ning Chu:
A man named Sei Weng owned a beautiful mare which was
praised far and wide. One day this beautiful horse disappeared.
The people of his village offered sympathy to Sei Weng for his
great misfortune. Sei Weng said simply, “That’s the way it is.”
A few days later the lost mare returned, followed by a beautiful
wild stallion. The village congratulated Sei Weng for his good
fortune. He said, “That’s the way it is.”
Some time later, Sei Weng’s only son, while riding the stallion,
fell off and broke his leg. The village people once again expressed
their sympathy at Sei Weng’s misfortune. Sei Weng again said,
“That’s the way it is.”
Soon thereafter, war broke out and all the young men of the
village except Sei Weng’s lame son were drafted and killed in
battle. The village people were amazed at Sei Weng’s good luck.
His son was the only young man left alive in the village. But Sei
Weng kept his same attitude: despite all the turmoil, gains and
losses, he gave the same reply, “That’s the way it is.”
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WINTER 2010
Life perspective is everything. What supportive life philosophies
do you live by? How do you practice and reinforce them daily
in the face of life’s everyday challenges? How effective are they
when it feels like life is trying to take you out of the game? Daily,
we need reminders of the most beautiful and deepest Truths
hidden beneath life’s rough surface.
Here’s a little exercise I use to remind me of what a miracle
life is, how much our choices alter the direction life takes and
how we’re all interconnected.
Think about someone you really care about and love more
than anything else in this world and whom you would do
anything for. For me it’s my wife and two children. Think
about what the people you love really mean to you and how
they make you feel. It’s impossible for me to think about
Alissa, Brayden and Lauren without being filled with love, joy
and a deep sense of gratitude. Now, think about how events
in your life specifically unfolded to bring you together. I owe
the existence of my children to my wife, my career change,
choice in the university I attended, each time I switched jobs,
even the death of a family member, my first marriage and
divorce all played their part. Not only was the timing of events
critical, but how each served my personal evolution in helping
me become who I needed to be in order to attract Alissa into
my life. What about the impact of the life events of your inlaws, parents or grandparents and all the generations before
them? This is quite miraculous when I remind myself how
two of my grandparents immigrated to Canada before they
had met and married. And from a larger perspective, a world
event like WWII influenced each of their family’s decision
to uproot their lives and start over. Then there’s the perfect
timing behind the biological miracle of reproduction requiring
a single sperm out of millions to unite with one specific egg
to create a unique human being. This not only had to happen
to bring my children into my life but also bring into the world
who I am, who my wife is, who each of our parents are and so
forth! Just pondering the odds and precise nature at work in
the Universe behind the people, experiences and world events
that took place to make all this happen leaves me in awe!
So whenever we question the reason for something in our
life, we are also questioning the very forces responsible for
making our most meaningful relationships possible. When we
lack gratitude for what shows up in our life today, good or
bad, we forget how the Universe works in mysterious ways
serving personal evolution within a much larger plan.
It is not for us to question the meaning of everything, but to
live with faith and to live on purpose. This is what’s behind
the meaning of “Love life and life will love you back.”
WINTER 2010
Relationships make a wonderful analogy. Can you love
someone completely without having faith in them? Do you
feel as loved when someone has lost their faith in you? Having
faith is an expression of believing that comes from the heart
and is a prerequisite for unconditional love. Faith is believing
in something or someone without having to understand
everything. It’s a feeling more powerful than the rational
mind can comprehend. Out of faith comes hope. Out of faith
miracles are born. When you “believe” you have more faith
in all the good life has to offer. You open your heart to loving
life, and guess what? Life loves you back!
We live in exciting times! From the residual affects of the
Information Age and the impact of the Social Age the new
Age of Transformation has emerged! As a Holistic Fitness
Professional specializing in Transformation Coaching, I see
a renewed focus in healthy lifestyle trends calling people to
action in creative ways that’s life-transforming. Amidst the
chaos of life there is a natural order. Turmoil and upheaval
makes way for needed transition. When embraced, an increase
in character-building days opens the door to opportunities
for growth accelerating our personal evolution, helping us
discover our greatness and prepare us for the future God
intended. As this year comes to a close, don’t just be thankful
it’s over; finish strong expressing sincere gratitude for all the
gifts it brought and purpose it served. This will place you in
the best possible position to create and live your best life in the
year ahead in complete harmony with these guiding words…
Life doesn’t give me the people and experiences I want, but the
people and experiences I NEED - To help me, hurt me, leave
me, love me, stretch and challenge me, to make me into the
person I was meant to Be…something far greater than what
I could imagine for myself. The Universe will never ask more
of me than what I have within me to handle; the Universe will
always fill me with desires that I already inherently have the
potential to achieve. However, the greatest reward is not in what
I achieve but in who I had to become in the process of achieving
it. Therefore, I embrace everything on my journey for everything
is as it should be.
I am full of greatness and strength. I am meant to live life to the
fullest, excelling above my expectations. When I live in harmony
with my Higher Self, the source of my greatest and truest desires,
success and happiness will always prevail.
Your time is NOW…”Dost thou love life? Then do not
squander time, for that’s the stuff life is made of.” Y
To fulfill your personal transformation contact Jeff Boris,
B.PHE, CPTN-CPT.M at www.jeffboriswellness.com.
HEARTBUSINESSJOURNAL.COM
59
ON THE PULSE
Liz Palmer
A GIRLS GUIDE TO CHAMPAGNE
Basic Essentials
Grape Varieties and Styles
The three primary grape varieties that that are used to make
champagne are pinot noir, pinot meunier and chardonnay. The
dark-skinned pinot noir and pinot meunier give champagne its
length and backbone, while chardonnay gives it acidity notes
and biscuit flavour. There are several other grape varieties that
are permitted for historical reasons, and are used occasionally.
Non-vintage
A
A Girls Guide To Champagne was developed for
women to feel confident in having some basic knowledge
on champagne in a social setting, or when choosing from
diverse selections of champagne from a wine list or wine
store. These can daunting tasks for even the most fearless
of women. Not anymore! This handbag-sized guide will
arm you - including the headstrong, adventure-loving,
cocktail-imbibing, fashion-conscious women - with some
basic knowledge on Champagne.
THE PRACTICAL PART
Not every wine that sparkles can be called champagne. True
champagne comes from a special region in France located 90
miles northeast of Paris. Champagne has a legendary history,
and has for many hundreds of years been part of many cultural
events and historical traditions. This region has a combination
of chalky sub-soils and cool climate which produces the only
grapes in the world that can yield the Champagne of legends!
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A non-vintage champagne includes a blend of grapes from
several vintages. They also have a consistent style, and are
made for immediate consumption. Most champagnes are nonvintage. Only a few non-vintage champagnes will benefit
from further aging.
Vintage
Champagne vintages are declared only for outstanding harvest
years and are made from a single harvest year. The producers
reserve their finest fruit for this style of champagne, adding
to its desirability. Not every year is declared a vintage year.
Presitge Cuvées
This is a proprietary blend, the top of the producer’s range,
and is most suitable for cellaring. The trend is that these
champagnes come delivered in very expressive, distinctivelyshaped, and labeled bottles. These champagnes are usually
made with grapes from Grand Cru vineyards.
Blanc de Blancs
Blanc de blanc is a French term that means “white of whites”,
and is used to designate champagnes made exclusively from
chardonnay grapes. The blanc de blancs style is popular as an
apértif due to their light, dry taste.
Blanc de Noirs
Blanc de Noirs is another French term that means “white of
black”. This sounds like a contradiction, but it is not. What it
tells you is that the champagne has been made only using black
grapes. Champagne made from black grapes are typically full
bodied with intense richness.
WINTER 2010
ON THE PULSE
Rosé
Nose
Rosé champagnes are produced either by leaving the clear
juice of black grapes to macerate on its skins for a short time
or, the common method, by adding a small amount of still
pinot noir red wine to the sparkling wine.
Once the initial effervescence has subsided, bring the flute to
your nose and inhale slowly, at length and then inhale again. How do you describe the aromas? Are they floral, fruity,
vegetal, or does the aroma remind you of dried fruits or some
other indulgent delicacy?
Sweetness (Brut to Doux)
In addition to classifying champagne styles, classifications are
also used to refer to sweetness. The amount of sugar added
after the second fermentation and aging varies and will dictate
the sweetness level of the champagne.
• Brut: dry, less than 1.5% sugar (most common)
• Extra Sec: extra dry, 1.2 to 2% sugar
• Sec: medium sweet, 1.7 to 3.5% sugar
• Demi-Sec: sweet, 3.3 to 5% sugar (dessert champagne)
• Doux: very sweet, over 5% sugar (dessert champagne)
THE FUN PART - TASTING
What can you see? What can you smell? What can you Taste? Champagne deserves your undivided attention. You need
time to appreciate its colour, effervescence, savor its aromas
and define its dominant impressions.
Before you pop the cork, there are a few basic rules:
•
•
•
•
•
Flutes should be clean and free of any traces of detergent
or rinsing agent [could cause champagne to flatten]
Avoid all forms of perfume, i.e., personal or room
fragrance [these will interfere with the appreciation of
the aromas]
Ideal drinking temperature is [8° - 10° C] – chill the bottle
for 20 minutes in an ice bucket filled with ice
When pouring, fill the glass only two-thirds [this allows
the aromas to circulate]
Once the champagne is poured, allow some time for it
to open up
Colour and Appearance
Once the champagne is poured, place a sheet of white paper
behind the glass; try to identify the shade. Colours can range from: pale gold; green gold; grey
gold; straw yellow; yellow gold to antique gold. For rosé
champagnes colours range from coral pink, salmon pink to
deep pink.
How does the champagne look to you? Is it limpid, sparkling
or silky?
And what about the bubbles, are they: light; fine; lively;
plentiful or slow?
WINTER 2010
Floral aromas can range from rose, lime blossom, orange
blossom or violet.
Fruity smells will range from grapefruit, apple, pear, quince,
peach, apricot, nectarine, mango, banana, lychee, coconut,
cherry or currant.
Vegetal bouquets range from almond, grass, fern, to truffle.
Dried Fruit odors range from hazelnut, raisin to dried fig.
Other indulgent delicacy aromas include butter, brioche,
toast, honey, candied fruit, vanilla and various spices.
Mouth
Champagne reveals its complex personality best on the palate. Try rolling the champagne around your mouth – there is
bound to be a dominant impression.
How does the champagne feel?
Does it feel powerful, solid, comforting, smooth, light, mature,
or opulent?
Now how would you describe the impression?
Is it creamy, delicate or complex? Y
GO AHEAD AND ENJOY WHAT IS
HIDING INSIDE YOUR FLUTE GLASS!
Liz Palmer, Apprentissage Sommelier, is the Chairman of the
PCYC Wine Committee; a wine consultant, educator, trainer
and writer. She currently writes monthly wine columns on
news and trends for Credit Notes, Rob Roland & Associates,
“Rob Report”, GAM on Yachting, wineandleisure.com,
and monthly wine articles for HEART Business Journal for
Women®, Toronto Waterfront Magazine and is International
Correspondent for China Wine News. She tastes thousands
of wines annually at various events around the world. Liz
is a member of Society of Wine Educators, Writers Net,
Wine Writers Network, Immedia, TravelWritersCom,
International Sommelier Guild member, a member of
Women in International Trade, a member of French Wine
Society and most recently became a member of the American
Media Photographers, Inc.
Most recently, Liz Palmer is in the process of writing a book
entitled: “Unique Boutique Champagne Houses”.
HEARTBUSINESSJOURNAL.COM
61
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WINTER 2010
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This space generously donated. Photo © Jason Sangster/CARE
PERSONAL DEVELOPMENT
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PROFILE
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