Lessons from Pippi Longstocking: Imagining Childrens` Responses

Comments

Transcription

Lessons from Pippi Longstocking: Imagining Childrens` Responses
Lessons from Pippi Longstocking:
Imagining Childrens’ Responses to Violence
Gotenburg, Sweden
31st May, 2011
Allan Wade
Centre for Response-Based Practice
Duncan B.C. Canada
[email protected]
Topics
Dreaded Small Group Activity
Responses or effects
Questions
Consulting Children and Former Children
Charlene and Evelyn
Dissidents, Activists, Writers Questions
How are children affected by violence/adversity?
What are the effects/impacts of violence?
More Questions
How do children respond to violence/adversity?
How do children respond during and after assaults?
How do children respond to their parents’ responses?
How do children respond to + and - social responses?
The Prevailing Effects-Based Approach
Children are seen as:
- “exposed to”
- “experience”
“subjected to”
“witness”
“affected by”
The “biopsychosocial” model:
- biological effects: hormones, epigenetics
- psychological effects: emotional, cognitive development
- social effects: social-psychological problems (behaviour)
The purpose is to understand the harm done to children, to
develop treatment and other interventions.
Children are uninvolved, passive, submissive,
affected objects
Children’s ever-present responses and resistance are
concealed
What questions should we be asking about children/youth?
•  How, in cases of violence, can we provide the best possible
social responses?
•  How is the welfare of children connected to the welfare of their
parents/families?
•  How do we imagine children?
•  How do we understand the world children inhabit?
•  How do we understand violence?
Charlene
“ . . . on being a grandmother . . .”
Evelyn
I would be crying and pushing his [her father’s] hand away, asking
him to stop…it got to the point where I would not go home if the
car was not parked outside or play outside until my mom or older
sister got home.
I remember sleeping with my clothes on, it was my security for
awhile for when I was approached. By the time they could get my
pants undone and down and undo theirs, I would have my pants up
again.
I would sleep on my stomach and would lay stiff. If my parents
had a drinking party I would lay on the outside of my kid sister’s
covers in bed so no one would hurt her. If they had to get their
rocks off I would rather it be me instead of her.
Everytime
they had parties I slept in my clothes and sometimes [I
had] a knife in the door frame or under my pillow.
When I was 15 I started going to the bar. When men started paying
attention to me it felt good but I knew what it was they wanted. I
would accept drinks at first, cocktease them and then tell them to get
lost. They would call me a fucking cock teasing bitch. I would reply
“Yeah, and a good one”.
After seeing my older sister being beaten to a pulp I told myself I
would never let a man do that to me, so I told my [first] husband to
leave and that was the end of him.
Evelyn concluded: I am able to voice my opinion rather than stay
quiet. I can tell my husband and others how I feel without feeling
guilty. I will always continue to go forward.
Imagining Children and Youth
Professionals have a great deal to say about psychological and
neurological effects/impacts of violence and trauma.
For information on how children respond to, and resist, violence
we must turn to writers, activists, social justice oriented
intellectuals, dissidents, and victims themselves.
How do children who have been abused try to preserve and
assert their dignity?
How do children try to preserve the dignity of their parents and
siblings?
Wife-Assault and Children
Man uses strategies to undermine the woman as a mother.
Delivers negative messages about the mother to the children.
Uses the violence, or possibility of violence, against the children
to violate and control the woman.
Uses violence against the woman to violate and control the
children.
The children cannot help but “witness” the violence against their
mother, with no ability to make it stop.
Creates an irresolvable “loyalty bind” for the children.
Who is Pippi?
An orphan. Alone.
Does not attend school. Cannot read or do arithmetic.
“Guineas and Lockes”
Treasure Chest of Gold and Villa Villekula
Striking, bold looks
A profound sense of justice and fair play
Great physical strength
Loves animals
Immense loyalty and bravery
Fun-loving
Pippilotta Delicatessa Windowshade Mackrelmint
Ephraimsdaughter Longstocking
Pippilotta Viktualia Rullgardina Krusmynta Efraimsdotter
Långstrump
Astrid
Lindgren
Pippi entertains two burglars.
Pippi plays tag with the nice policemen.
Pippi pulls Tommy and Annika to shore.
Pippi draws at school . . . on the floor.
Mio
With the golden apple,
sees the bottle of
Stockholm Ale, which he
opens to discover the
genie.
Mio and friend in
Faraway Land
Mio, My Son
Bosse, 9, is in foster care with foster parents who dislike boys
and are psychologically abusive.
He creates a “fantasy” world where the King of “Faraway
Land” is his natural father, and is renamed “Mio” (my son).
The “fantasy” directly counters the specific aspects of the abuse
and includes characters who provided positive social responses.
Friend, water cart horse, grocery store lady.
An evil knight, Kato, is stealing children, so Mio must fight him
to protect his father and his people.
Mio, My Son
Mio, 9, in foster care with foster parents who dislike boys and
are psychologically abusive.
Creates a “fantasy” world where the King of “Faraway Land” is
his natural father.
The “fantasy” directly counters the specific aspects of the abuse
and includes characters who provided positive social responses.
Friend, water cart horse, grocery store lady.
Kamloops man accused of procuring sex with child
Vancouver Province Newspaper 2009
A 33 year-old man who allegedly wanted to purchase sex from a
three-to-five-year-old girl remained in police custody Monday. The
man was arrested Saturday night at a home in Kamloops where he
went believing he was to meet a young child for sex. Police
received a report from a person who said they had received a text
message from the suspect. “The text allegedly asked the person to
provide the suspect with a three-to-five-year-old girl for sex, and
that he would pay for the service by way of a finder’s fee”, said Sgt.
Scott Wilson. The man was arrested for procuring for sexual
purposes under Sec. 212 of the Criminal Code. Wilson said the
suspect is known to police and was charged with a sexual-related
offence with a person under 12 years of age in 2008. He was
convicted of sex assault in 1999, police added.
Colm O’Gorman
Describing the assault
The boy lies there, frozen. The covers move as the priest moves over
and brings his hand down. He starts to masturbate the boy, who lies
there motionless. And then in moments it is over. The confusion and
urgency of the sexual charge that took me over and blurred all else has
passed and there is only the shock and guilt of what has just happened. I
am dizzy and frightened. (49-50)
I felt so betrayed by my own body, which reacted to what was
happening. I was sickened that I could become aroused and experience
sexual pleasure at the same time as feeling terrified and disgusted. (49)
Verbal Deception and Victim Distress
Colm O’Gorman
The morning after the first assault:
’Father’, I say. ‘That can never happen again. It’s wrong’.
He nods his agreement but doesn’t say anything. Instead he waits to
hear what I will say next.
‘It shouldn’t have happened and I don’t know what to do. It’s so very
wrong. I feel sick.’
He finally speaks just as I feel I’m about to burst apart with guilt and
shame. ‘You’re right, of course you are right. It was wrong and must
never happen again. You must never do such a thing again.’ (p. 51)
Colm O’Gorman
The drive home
Just minutes away, he said, ‘I’m worried about you. You have a
problem.’
I froze and said nothing, too scared to speak.
‘I am a priest and I have a duty to do something about it’.
My mind raced, I didn’t know what he meant by ‘do something’, I didn’t
have time to think it through, moments from my parents.
‘I could talk to your father . . . that might be best.’
I started to scream inside. Panic raced through me and the world started
to spin. I wanted to escape, jump from the car, anything to get away from that
awful moment. Anything to prevent what he said he might do. My father . . .
it would kill him to know what I’d done, what I was. He would die from
shame.
‘You need help and I am bound to help you,’ he said with all the
solemnity and authority of his priestly office.”
George
Orwell
A Hanging
Shooting an Elephant
How the Poor Die
Such, Such Were the Joys
“Such, Such Were the Joys”
How, in a context of violence and constant surveillance, does
a child build a barrier between himself and his tormentors,
behind which he can create some sense of freedom, some
form of safety and social connection, some autonomy?
Preserving Dignity in the Face of Violence
How do children who have been abused try to preserve and assert
their dignity?
How do children try to preserve the dignity of their parents and
siblings?
Similarities for Children Between Wife-Assault and War
Adapted from Fr. Ignacio Martin-Baro, “Toward a Liberation Psychology”
• 
• 
• 
• 
• 
• 
The violence is foreseeable, predictable
Violence is enabled by complex social systems
Authorities, social systems are ineffective and untrustworthy
Adults who would protect are violated or violent
Personal development in abnormal conditions
Forced choice: Implications for identity
It is pointless to suggest that the trauma resides in an individual or to focus
on individual treatment.
Our response must be collective and relational, aimed at restoring
relationships in a context of safety and dignity.
Considerations for Children Who Have Endured Violence
•  Abusive fathers often try to turn children against their mothers
•  Children fear one or both parents will die
•  Children want to help one or both parents, siblings
•  Aggressive youth, overburdened with responsibility.
•  History of negative or ineffective social responses
•  Stigmatized with other labels, programs
•  Feel they are to blame, bad, disloyal, messed up, helpless •  May become distressed/act out with closeness
Renee-Claude Carrier
Activist Counsellor
A-D. Kaushees Place
Yukon Women’s
Transition House
Extreme Athlete
Home Builder
Montagnais Nation Supporting the Mother-Child Bond
Renee-Claude Carriere
“Working with children together with their mothers just
naturally seemed like the right thing to do. For a time, there
was push to take kids aside, to interview them and to do
programming with them apart from their mothers. Working in a
transition home, I saw that as not productive. I was not
comfortable with that way of working. Many of the women I
had worked with had had their children apprehended. For many
of our First Nations clients in particular, if I was to take their
children aside, I could be seen as a threat.”
“In the first 24 hours after children come to Kaushee’s Place,
they’re busy being peacemakers. They want no trouble. They
want Mom to go home because Dad might be upset. Our job is
to make sure they understand “you’re not going home, Dad is
going to be okay, everyone is going to be okay - you’re safe.”
Their fear is not about being traumatized. It’s about them
trying to respond to the violence they think is going to come as
a result of coming to the transition house”.
Renee-Claude Carriere
Malcolm X
“Tell me why I’m wrong.”
Malcolm X
Malcolm X was one of the top students in his class, and the only
black student. One day his teacher, Mr. Ostrowski, whom he liked,
asked him if he had been thinking about a career. Malcolm replied,
"Well, yes, sir . . . I'd like to be a lawyer".
“Mr. Ostrowski looked surprised, I remember, and leaned back in
his chair and clasped his hands behind his head. He kind of halfsmiled and said, 'Malcolm, one of life's first needs is for us to be
realistic. Don't misunderstand me, now. We all like you, you know
that. But you've got to be realistic about being a nigger. A lawyer that's no realistic goal for a nigger. You need to think about
something you can be. You're good with your hands - making
things.” (p. 36)
Malcolm responded:
“It was then that I began to change—inside. I drew away from
white people. I came to class, and I answered when called
upon. It became a physical strain simply to sit in Mr.
Ostrowski's class. . . . Where 'nigger' had slipped off my back
before, wherever I heard it now, I stopped and looked at
whoever said it. And they looked surprised that I did. . . . In a
few more weeks, it was that way, too, at the restaurant where I
worked washing dishes, and at the [foster home].” (p. 37)
Nelson
Mandela
On Dignity
Nelson Mandela
“I learned my lesson one day from an unruly donkey. We had been
taking turns climbing up and down on its back and when my chance
came I jumped on and the donkey bolted into a nearby thorn bush.
It bent its head, trying to unseat me, which it did, but not before the
thorns had pricked and scratched my face, embarrassing me in front
of my friends. Like the people of the East, Africans have a highly
developed sense of dignity, or what the Chinese call "face". I had
lost face among my friends. Even though it was a donkey that
unseated me, I learned that to humiliate another person is to make
him suffer an unnecessarily cruel fate. Even as a boy, I defeated my
opponents without dishonouring them.” (Mandela, 1994, p. 11-12)
Rigoberta
Menchu
Rigoberta Menchu
“I was five when she was doing this work and I looked after my
little brother. I wasn't earning yet. I used to watch my mother,
who often had the food ready at three o'clock in the morning for
the workers who started work early, and at eleven she had the
food for the midday meal ready. At seven in the evening she had
to run around again making food for her group. In between
times, she worked picking coffee to supplement what she earned.
Watching her made me feel useless and weak because I couldn't
do anything to help her except look after my brother. That's when
my consciousness was born. It's true. My mother didn't like the
idea of me working, of earning my own money, but I did. I
wanted to work, more than anything to help her, both
economically and physically.” (1984, p. 34)
Resistance to Racism in Childhood
(Kim, 1991)
As a child, I listened to the stories of my mother's childhood. We
were drawn together in our common experience of oppression. I
learned defiance and determination from my mother, my role model.
My mother was a pillar of strength and hope. She had survived
genocide and devastation in the Korean war, and I, her daughter, was
convinced that I too could overcome all adversity. (p. 205)
Kim (cont’d)
Silenced by the dominant white culture, silenced by the white
people, I was told who I was, what I was, and who I should be.
Silenced by my school teachers who taught in a school that was
eurocentric, monolingual and neo-colonial, I learned to live with
the silences. I closed my mind to their thinking. I learned to
regurgitate the words and their worldview. I learned to be a good
student, reciting what my teachers wanted to hear. I chose to
ignore white people when I heard condescension in their voices.
School became a place where I learned the lessons of survival in a
white racist culture. (1991, p. 207)
Simon
“Summoning the perpetrator . . . “
Contrasting Questions
How are children affected by the separation of their parents?
How do children respond to the separation of their parents?
Retail relationships.
Protect parents.
Express fear, loss, isolation.
Connect with others.
Kamloops man
sex
sex from
sex from a three-to-five-year-old girl
purchase sex from a three-to-five-year-old girl
wanted to purchase sex from a three-to-five-year-old girl
sex
for sex
a young child for sex
meet a young child for sex
believing he was to meet a young child for sex
Kamloops man cont’d
sexual
sexual purposes
for sexual purposes
procuring for sexual purposes
the man was arrested for procuring for sexual purposes
Misrepresenting Intent:
Drawing Mental Inferences from Distorted Accounts
“wanted to purchase sex from a three-to-five-year-old girl”
“believing he was to meet a young child for sex”
“the man was arrested for procuring for sexual purposes”
Alternative: Re: Kamloops man
violate
violate a young child
abduct and violate a young child
planning to abduct and violate a young child
Intent: “planning to abduct and violate”
Brown (1991)
[T]he voices of . . . young girls . . . raise[s] questions about
whether the lucidity women find . . . later in life is not in fact a
lucidity they once had, then lost, and have since found or
recovered; whether women in later life create entirely “new
experiences of seeing and saying" or acquire new attitudes and
new courage; or whether they recall earlier, older, familiar
experiences, attitudes and courage - experiences that, for a time,
for safety sake, they forgot, denied or repressed. Was there a
time when we, as women, once saw clearly what we were
looking at and named, in the face of conflict, our own feelings
about the complicated and rich world of relationships we
engaged? (p. 83)
Colm confronts the Priest
“’Father’, I say. ‘That can never happen again. It’s wrong’.
He [Fortune] nods his agreement but doesn’t say anything.
Instead he waits to hear what I will say next.
‘It shouldn’t have happened and I don’t know what to do. It’s so
very wrong. I feel sick.’
He finally speaks just as I feel I’m about to burst apart with guilt
and shame.
‘You’re right, of course you are right. It was wrong and must never
happen again. You must never do such a thing again.’” (p. 51)
Lisbeth Salander
Priest Springs the Trap
“Before long we were close to home, just minutes away. . . . Then he
[Fortune] cleared his throat and said, ‘I’m worried about you. You have
a problem.’ I froze and said nothing, too scared to speak.
‘I am a priest and I have a duty to do something about it’. My mind
raced, I didn’t know what he meant by ‘do something’. I didn’t have
time to think it through. We were moments away from home, from my
parents.
‘I could talk to your father . . . that might be best.’
I started to scream inside. Panic raced through me and the world started
to spin. I wanted to escape, jump from the car, anything to get away
from that awful moment. Anything to prevent what he said he might do.
My father . . . it would kill him to know what I’d done, what I was. He
would die from shame.”
Hyden M. & Overlein, C. (2009).
M: Have things been okay at home?
S: Yes, but then yesterday mum and dad started fighting about
something, but I just close my ears.
M: What do you do when you close your ears do you use
something to put in your ears?
S: No, I try not to care or try to talk to them about something
else. Then I listen to really loud music so they’ll get angry at
me instead
Hyden, M. & Overlein, C. (2009)
C: Can I ask in those situations when you were scared and felt
like something was wrong did you feel like you could do
something then?
C: No that was the thing. I was so little and had so many
feelings. Sometimes I could say to daddy that please dad please
be quiet, don’t be bothered by what mummy says. I played along
with him for a while and played along with him and thought this
will help and pretended that mummy was the one who was sick.
So I said that if you could only be quiet don’t be bothered by
what she is saying you know she is wrong (pause) so be quiet and
go outside and be angry.
Good things
. . . and a response-based shed.
Worries
Dreams
Can we begin to form a general sense of the ways in which children respond? How do children escape and hide from the violence? How do children protect one another and their parents? How do children challenge their violent parents? How do children manage their violent parent, emo:onally? How do children view the non-­‐offending parent? Pippi and Mr. Nilsson
Youth Aggression in Residential Settings
Todd et al. (2009)
Processing Aggressive Actions
Staff calmly provide safety
Quiet time
Process event
Attend to “position”, already existing “ethics” of youth.
Note control and deliberation.
Highlight choices.
Acknowledge wilingness to talk