FEAR - Eagle Chamber

Eagle Chamber of Commerce
Lunch & Learn Workshop Series
August 29, 2013
#1 Success is Not an Accident
Mick Daly
Email me for a copy of this presentation
LIFE SKILLS Workshop Series
My “Credentials”
23 years with IBM (UK and Dallas)
• Systems Engineer
• 13 years in Tech. Management
23 years running our own home-based business
• Learned many valuable lessons
• My personal Mission (who I am):
“I encourage others to their full potential”
I will recommend other valuable resources
LIFE SKILLS Workshop Series
Now through April 2013
Life Skills (Strengths vs Character Traits vs Virtues)
Those we have, don't have, should have, would like to have!
We will cover those I have found to be most lacking, most
valuable and most needed, in my 46 years in business:
• Goal Setting (The Art and Science)
• Knowing and Growing your Strengths
• Self-Discipline
• Achieving Peak Personal Performance
• Listening (your way to Success)
• Reaching your Personal Potential
LIFE SKILLS Workshop Series
Before we work on Skills, let’s answer this question:
What is limiting your Potential and Why?
• For many it is “Fear”, including “fear of technology”
• You will leave today with tips and tricks to overcome
any “Fear” … future Workshops will teach the Skills
We've all been afraid, experienced Fear in our lives,
• It should not be a Daily occurrence
• Fear should not be Paralyzing
• Fear can be Motivating
The ‘Gift’ of Fear
Healthy Fear helps protect us, alerts us to danger; it
prepares us to deal with danger.
• Feeling afraid is very natural and sometimes helpful:
• It stops you jumping out of a plane without a parachute.
• It stops your kids from playing in the street …
IF you have already “put the fear of God into them”!
• “The Fear of God is the beginning of wisdom.” Psalm 111:10
• UNwarranted Fear is a curse.
• Most Fears we can ‘outgrow’ (Jungle Book)
Fear of Loss – paralyzing or motivating?
Fear of losing something you already own …
• Home
• Business
• Even Multi-millionaires and Billionaires are Fearful!
Fear of losing something you could ‘own’ …
• Opportunity (property in Colorado in 1989!)
• The future you most desire
• Pike’s Peak Ascent!
Anxiety … Fear …
Fear of something (flying, public speaking, meeting strangers)
Anxiety about something (flying, public speaking, …)
We all experience:
Nervousness
Anxiety … Worry
Fear
Constant Chronic Fear:
PHOBIA
How Does Fear Hold Us Back?
Worry – Anxiety - Fear - Phobia:
• Recognized medical conditions
• Agoraphobia
• Fear of open or crowded places
• Fear of leaving a safe place
• Claustrophobia
• Fear of confined spaces
Can escalate to sheer …..
TERROR
My Top Terror Three!
Acrophobia - Fear of Heights
+ Fear of Falling (we were all born with this one)
Longs Peak
1990
“Keyhole”
Acrophobia - Fear of Heights
Longs Peak “Keyhole”
“The Narrows”
I FROZE
Arachnophobia - Fear of Spiders
Funnel weaver spiders, or grass spiders,
are the most common spiders found
in Colorado homes.
CSU: "Spiders are beneficial, helping manage pests. There
are a few spiders whose bite requires medical attention,
but these are very rare in Colorado.“
Mind vs Emotion
Like Fear of Heights,
this is less of a problem for me now
Katagelophobia
Fear of Embarrassment or Ridicule
That’s why I don’t play Golf
(+ my low tolerance for frustration!)
• Glossophobia - Fear of (public) speaking
related to Katagelophobia
• According to psychologists,
most people fear Public Speaking more than death!
• I used to take myself too seriously!
NOT a problem for me now
YOUR TURN!!
Conclusion: mine were NOT really Phobias (phew!)
What about YOURS?
F.E.A.R.
“The only thing we have to fear is fear itself." FDR (1933)
UNwarranted Fear just makes things worse
FDR: “… nameless, unreasoning, unjustified terror which
paralyzes needed efforts to convert retreat into advance.”
Let’s see unwarranted F.E.A.R. for what it is:
•
False EVIDENCE Appearing Real
•
False EXPECTATIONS Appearing Real
F.E.A.R. – Common Acronym
False EVIDENCE Appearing Real (Zig Ziglar)
• Evidence is real, visual, physical, tangible
• Evidence stands in a court of law (corroborative witness)
• We see Evidence in the present (not the future)
• Our past influences our response to Evidence
• The physical ‘Evidence’ may arouse UNwarranted Fear …
• What if the ‘Evidence' is False?
It’s not ‘Evidence’ then!
F.E.A.R. – Better Acronym
False EXPECTATIONS Appearing Real
• Expectations are in the future (that ball WILL hit my face!)
• Visions inside your own head, may seem very real
• We imagine the future and ‘allow’ it to impact us negatively
• Can YOU visualize success? Every world champion athlete
can and does (maybe Tiger Woods’ cannot!)
• Dan Millman: "When faced with a single opponent,
if you doubt yourself, you are outnumbered.“
• Who's side are you on? Who is on your side? Are YOU?!
A better Acronym for F.E.A.R.
F.E.A.R. Redefined
Failure Expected, Action Required…
• If you expect the worst you are almost certain to fail
• “If you think you can or you think you can't, you're right!”
• Be brave: Look at things in your life that are keeping you
where you are, that are stopping you from moving forward
• Try looking from a different perspective (Long’s Peak)
• Change your thinking - take those 'failure' thoughts captive
• Change the ‘movie’ playing in your head
Expect the BEST
Common F.E.A.Rs that Hold us Back
Fear of Technology (Technophobia)
• Take some lessons (attend Allegory’s workshops)
• Treat it as a game, play with email, Word, Excel, Facebook…
Fear of the Phone (Phone-phobia)
• Beyond the common 'heavy phone syndrome'
• Employ "20 seconds of boldness"
• “Smile and Dial"
• Stand up and walk around (if that feels good)
Fear of Strangers or Foreigners (Xenophobia)
• Makes it difficult to engage people ... to network
• Mix and mingle – it will get easier
More F.E.A.Rs that Hold us Back
Fear of Success (Achievemephobia)
• Anxiety about how to deal with the Best in life (‘poor folks’)
• With Success come Responsibilities ("me, a leader?!")
• Misconception - truth: Your Success Blesses Others
Fear of Failure (Atychiphobia)
•
•
•
•
May be related to Perfectionism or past ‘failures’
Often related to Fear of Change
Leads to avoiding any risks at all costs
Embrace failure; act as if you could NOT fail
More F.E.A.Rs that Hold us Back
Social Phobia + Poor Self Image
• “I am so… (broke, …) I will always be ... (broke, …)”
Unwarranted shyness or “poor me syndrome”
• Unaware of “hidden” strengths, abilities, uniqueness
Fear of Silence (Sedatephobia or Social Phobia)
• Often causes ‘verbal diarrhea’ (many other causes!)
• Leads to lack of empathy with others; ‘selfish’ attitude
• Poor conversation skills, distracted, interrupt often
Fear of Change or anything New (Cainotophobia)
• Anything new or different is high risk
• "Change starts with you but it doesn't
start until you do." - Tom Ziglar
“How can you combat fear?”
Wrong question! What we focus on becomes our reality.
• “How can I become a confident ... public speaker, flyer,
climber, spider-handler, conversationalist…?”
• Expect the BEST, not the worst – practice and discipline
• Take Action
• 20 seconds of Boldness (“The Narrows”)
• INaction increases Fear
• Achievement combats Fear
• Motivation banishes Fear
What Else Holds Us Back?
Why so many Try and Fail:
• Those “False Expectations Appearing Real”
• Procrastination (guilty!)
• Lack of Self-Discipline
• Poor Goal choices, Goals not Written
• All about the Plan, too little Action
• Lack of Vision, Dreams, Commitment
• The Allure of the Comfort Zone
• Some of us never TRY
Attend Life Skills Workshop Series!
What Else Holds Us Back?
Why some people never TRY to Succeed
• Perfectionism (never good enough)
• Poor Self-Image
• Fear of Failure (from past ‘failures’)
• Fear of Success (misconception)
• Fear of Change
• Fear of Loss (paralyzing)
• Fear of Leaving the Comfort Zone
Attend Life Skills Workshop Series!
What Holds Us Back?
The Allure, and the Fear of Leaving,
Your Comfort Zone
FEAR
Success
How to Break Out to Success
Adventure
5%ers
Fearless
Success
Freedom
Wealth
Dreams
Excellence
Thriving
FEAR
SELF-DISCIPLINE
+ GOALS
Growth
Courage
Passion
Sweet Spot
Confidence
Uniqueness
What if I Don’t?
How Can I?
Fulfillment
5%ers
5%ers
Excitement
The Sky is the Limit
Risk
Reward
Abundance
5%ers
Success is a Sandwich
Self Discipline
G O A L S
Self Discipline
"Success is never owned. Success is only
rented, and the rent is due every day.“
"We always pay a price for success.
We either pay it now or we pay it later,
with interest."
That price = the Self-Discipline
to push out of our Comfort Zone
Lunch & Learn Workshop on November 21st
“I HAVE A DREAM” (MLK)
The Art of Goal Setting
Self Discipline
G O A L S
Self Discipline
“Make your plan TODAY: one that leads to
the achievement of your goals. Every day,
starting today, take the Next Step in your
plan. Commit to it and just DO IT!”
"You'll find that your creativity will increase
as you more clearly define your goals.
"Writing down your goals helps you to
crystallize your thinking and gives you a
physical device for focusing your attention."
Lunch & Learn Workshop on October 3rd
BIG DREAMS … BIGGER GOALS … BIGGEST PLANS
COMFORT
ZONE
Life Skills to Combat Fear and F.E.A.R.
Fear of Success and/or Failure + Procrastination
• Oct. 3 – set Goals and know what, where and how (your future)
• Nov. 21 – build Self-Discipline and Fear will not stop you
False/Poor Self Image
• Oct. 31 – discover/grow your Strengths and grow in Confidence
• Jan. 23 and March 20 - know your true Potential, live in your
Sweet Spot, and there will be no room for Fear
Fear of Silence or Social Phobia (verbal overload)
• Feb. 20 – learn to Listen and to ask great Questions, and your
Confidence will empower you
Will you TRY to be there?!