Volume 17 Issue 11 December 17, 2015

Precious Blood Ministry of Reconciliation
Volume 17 Issue 11 December 17, 2015
Page 2
MAKING CHOICES
Making Choices
Kolbe House at Assumption
2434 S. California Ave.
Chicago, IL 60608
Publisher
Kolbe House Catholic
Jail Ministry
Editorial Team
Fr. Dave Kelly
Lamonte Lay
Making Choices
Combines the voices of those who are
incarcerated at Cook County Juvenile
Temporary Detention Center, Cook County
Jail and institutions throughout the state.
It is published as a means to give a voice
to those who wish to speak out.
It is a project of Kolbe House,
the Catholic Jail Ministry of the Archdiocese of Chicago and
Precious Blood
Ministry of Reconciliation
Wanna be a thug
By Jose Reyes
Green Bay C.I.
Shorty wanna be a thug?
Well don’t forget to mention that
this time is ruff!
Busting that AK, Tec9, big boy revolvers.
Popping pills, sipping lean, counting big face hunnets,
and f***ing them t***s.
“Yeah, that’s the shit”, is what your
thinking.
Well it’s not!
Let me tell you something, I’m a be
21, December 2nd with a lot more
time to do.
How much? Well let me tell you?
2036 is when I get cut loose.
Me personally I don’t give a f***
what you think about me. Do me
one. Ask your big homie out there
claiming what your banging,
Is it worth the outcome? And ask
him if you can fight the struggle
without blaming your fellow brother,
sister, daughters, and sons?
Slowly but slowly all that so called
fame disappears right along with
you.
I’m nothing but DOC #5900000. So
think before you bury your self
behind this steel and concrete
walls!
Page 3
VOLUME 17, ISSUE 11
Poetry
from within
the walls
Concealed
By Arturo Orozco
Pontiac A.D.
Celled all day inside, in Pontiac
A.D. confined.
Isolated I continuously strive,
pretending like I’m fine.
Searching for a piece of mind.
I struggle to keep myself in line.
Forgetting who I am at times rewinding
my thoughts at night.
Feeling my consciousness frying.
Silence is a man’s soul crying.
Blind is this path of mine,
Everyday and every night is this crime.
This mental torture Pontiac’s applying,
the hidden truth the administration is
hiding.
A jailbird who’s eagle
wishing
By Philip Hogan
Columbia C. I.
I saw an eagle flying high
above the prison yard.
He just let the wind carry him,
he wasn’t working hard.
Just as right as rain, free as he
wanted to be.
I wished with all my might that
glorious eagle was me.
I would flip and loop
entertaining prison homies
stuck on the ground. And
screech real loud to let them
hear how real
freedom sounds.
May even shed a tear for
jailbirds with clipped wings,
But then I gotta move around
cause it’d be time to do my
own thing.
Knowing the graveyard is the
only exit for some, but for the
rest, your flying day will one
day come.
Now some may say a jailbird
has no right to think like this,
but I say dream big young jail
bird, think like eagles when you
wish.
Or maybe you could just stay
out of jail, then you won’t have
to suffer this living hell.
Page 4
MAKING CHOICES
the rest were left standing
around.
I feel to my knees, but it was
too late. I had waited too long
and this sealed my fate.
I stood and I cried as they rose
out of sight, oh, if only we had
been ready tonight.
In the words of this poem the
meaning is clear, the coming of
Jesus is drawing near.
There’s only one life and when
comes the last call, we’ll find
that the bible was true after all.
Missing you
The night before Jesus
came
By D. Archer
Graham C.C.
T’was the night before Jesus
came and all through the
house, not a creature was
praying. Their Bibles were laid
on the shelf without care, in
hope that Jesus would not
come there. The children were
dressing to crawl into bed, not
once ever kneeling or bowing a
head.
And my mom in her rocker with
baby on her lap, was watching
the late show while I took a
nap.
When out of the east there
arose such a clatter, I sprang to
my feet to see what was the
matter.
Away to the window I flew like a
flash, tore open the shutters
and threw up the sash.
When what to my wondering
eyes should appear but angels
proclaiming that Jesus was
here.
With a light like the sun
sending forth a bright ray, I
knew in a moment this must be
the day.
The light of his face made me
cover my head. “It was Jesus!
Returning just like he said”.
And though I possessed
worldly wisdom and wealth, I
cried when I saw him in spite
of myself.
In the book of life which he
held in his hand, was written
the name every saved men.
He spoke not a word as he
searched for my name when
he said, “It’s not here” my head
hung in shame. The people
whose name had been written
with love he gathered to take
to his father above.
With those who were ready he
rose without a sound, while all
By Raul Arteaga
Green Bay C.I.
No letter, no mail, no call.
Another day gone by. I miss my
four daughters so much, that I
just want to cry.
I love them dearly I would never
deny, so I write this poem, do
you want to know why?
I wish I had magical powers I
would fly, I’d come right to you
through the big blue sky. I know
I’m your Daddy but some days I
feel like just some guy. So take
the time and write me back, so I
can smile like a fat kid eating a
pie.
Page 5
VOLUME 17, ISSUE 11
In my shoes
By Eric Snead
Hill C.C.
All that glitters won’t be gold,
black lives matter I am told!
The band is performing the
prison blues, don’t judge unless
you’ve walked in my shoes!
On your face so much pain
you’re masking,
For permission no longer are
you asking!
Blue skies are above the green
grass,
You throw stones yet live in
house of glass!
The sinking ship started as
pleasure cruise,
Lost your balanced and stumbled in my shoes!
I’ve been tried also, I’ve been
tested, my development has
been arrested!
Your growth appears to be
stunted, the chaser is now being
hunted!
Your demon is no match for my
beast, chow time the monster
ready to feast!
Took your best shot and left a
bruise, the rat race I run in my
shoes!
I’ve been told to fear no evil, so
messy you are in upheaval!
Failure is a bitter pill to swallow,
success is a hard act to follow!
Why so much contempt and disgust?
You have to adapt and adjust!
At wake up call you continue to
snooze, you still haven’t paid
your dues.
Drown your sorrow in cheap
booze,
Lace up strings tight walking in
my shoes!
Christmas
By E. Garcia
Robinson, IL
I have a list of folks I know all
written in a book, and every
year at Christmas time I go and
take a look. That is when I
realize that these names are
apart not of the book they are
written in, but of my very heart.
For each name stands for
someone who has crossed my
path. Sometime and in that
meeting they have become
they rhythm in each rhyme. And
while it sounds fantastic for me
to make this claim I really feel
that I am composed of each
remembered name.
While you may not be aware of
any special link, just meeting
you has changed my life, a lot
more than you think.
For once I have met somebody
the years cannot erase the
memory of a pleasant word or
a friendly face. So never think
my Christmas cards are just a
mere routine of names on a
Christmas cards that is
addressed to you. It is because
you are on the list of folks I am
in debt to. For I am the total of
the many folks that I have met,
and you happen to be one of
those I prefer not to forget.
Whether I have known you for
many years or a few, in some
way you have been apart in
shaping things I do. And every
year when Christmas comes, I
realize a new, the best gift life
can offer is meeting folks like
you. May the spirit of Christmas
that forever endures, leave the
richest blessing in the heart of
you and yours…
Merry Christmas to all my real
true friends.
Page 6
MAKING CHOICES
Lost in the streets
By Jesse Villagomez
Kankakee, IL
Growing up as an adolescent I
got lost in the streets.
Because not having someone to
push me the right way they
swept me off my feet.
Watching all the older dudes
with bank rolls, selling bricks
and pounds of weed. Driving all
the nice cars with chains rings
and diamonds in their teeth.
I thought man this the life I want
for me, doing everything you
want, but not once thought
about the police. Cause living
the street life was all I wanted
and seen.
Making enemies along the way
I’m like hey, that’s what happens
in these streets. Grab you a gun
and defend yourself by any
means, cause there’s no rules to
this life it’s play for keeps.
Now ducking and dodging the
cops because not only am I
ripping and running, now I got to
pack some heat
For the enemy cause they think
they can’t be beat. I sit back and
think man I’m in it way too deep,
but I guess that the adrenaline
that got me lost in these streets.
“Christmas is the spirit of giving without a thought of
getting. It is happiness because we see joy in people.
It is forgetting self and finding time for others.
It is discarding the meaningless and stressing the true
values”
By Thomas Monson (Author)
The battle within
A fathers love
By Eddie B.
5C
By Antonio Figueroa
McHenery County Jail
Drowned in deception, holding
on by faith, immune to lies, a
smile is my hearts poker face.
To love unconditional is the
strongest fight mentally, but how
can I win when love is my
enemy.
Trust, hope, and happiness is no
longer my allies. I have nothing
to fight this battle. So I ask
myself why do I fight? Can I not
surrender? Do my defiance
make me the weakest
contender?
I pray to lord my soul to keep for
the grave I dug, I hope it’s not too
deep.
Bless my kids and all their needs.
Please make them live by their
loving deeds.
Protect them each and every day,
for when they fall and get some
scrapes. Pick them up and send
them on their merry way. Fill their
heart with joy and peace all the
hatred and sorrow be released.
My only friend is pain, he has
been with me for as long as I
can remember. Cold as
December, my heart begins to
shiver. The love that will be
delivered caused my friend
“Pain” to quiver. Keep your
friend close and your enemies
closer.
As I gave in, now that love is
within me, my friend pain begin
to wither. Now that love is within
me, my pain is gone. Throwing
in the towel don’t always mean
you lose, because this battle,
I won!
Make them wise and come to you
for you alone are so pure and
true. Bless them with your
“Heavenly dew”. Their earthly
father loves them too.
Please let them know their
daddy’s love both down here and
heaven above.
Angels they are, is what I truly
see, forever close they will
always be. Never far, but always
near in my heart they will always
appear.
God bless
Page 7
VOLUME 17, ISSUE 11
I can’t live like this
By Jeff Saez
Green bay C.I
I can’t live like this, 15 years
later and is still like this.
God you can’t expect me to heal
like this.
I can’t live like this, not like this.
I’m locked up in this cage, mind
full of revenge and rage. Trying
to turn me into the monster that
this crooked a** system once
proclaimed.
They said that justice was
served whenever they locked
me up and threw away the key.
But we all know that this was
done out of revenge cause of
the sins of my father who
decided to use me as a pawn in
his own political game.
I can’t live like this.
15 years later it’s still like this.
I put my life on the line, gave up
everything that I had, now I sit
behind this damn prison walls
wishing I never had.
I did it all for you dad, how could
you’ve been so cold and betray
me like that?
Couldn’t you see how much I
truly loved you and how I always
had your back, you coward you
made me sacrifice my own
family only so you could run
away and stab me in the back.
I hope that you burn in hell for
this sh**. I should’ve known
when you disrespected my
mother. Called her a “b”, now I
know why (Natasha) use to
always tell me that you were
jealous of me. Otherwise how
could a real father ever betray
his own seed?
Oh yeah I guess I should’ve
thought about that before I
abandoned my own child when
he was just a little baby.
“Generational curses” are the
roots of our children's perdition
today. And as a father it’s our
duty to ensure that it doesn’t
happen again!
What sin will do for you
By Gordon Neuman
Centralia C.C.
Teach you more than you want
to know.
Cost you more than you want to
pay.
Take you farther than you want
to go.
Keep you longer than you want
to stay.
I like this very true.
God’s loves his children.
Page 8
MAKING CHOICES
Changes
By Latrice Brown
Logan Seg
I’m 30 years old now and as I
looked back over most of my
adult life don’t like what I saw.
I ask myself a thousand times as I
lay in my bed, How did I fall victim
to the system? That’s the
question that’s on repeat in my
head.
16 shots!
By Eric Snead
Hill C.C.
10-20-14 LaQuan McDonald
would stop living.
11-25-15 video released before
thanksgiving!
Not a death from black on black
crime, at the hands of Chicago
Police this time!
16 shots fired are more than
expected, 5 million city paid after
mayor re-elected.
Indicted for murder is officer Van
Dyke, 30 seconds out of patrol
car he’d strike!
On my tray I had 12 tater-tots, in
his body Laquan had 16 shots!
Black Friday protest on
magnificent mile,
This gives new meaning to
Chicago style!
A leopard doesn’t change their
spots, why did it take those 16
shots?
Don’t shoot messenger
consider the source,
Protect and serve without
excessive force!
Took over a year to connect
the dots,
Emanuel, McCarthy, Alvarez
knew about 16 shots!
A badge gave him license to
kill, happy trigger finger
seeks a thrill!
From the head a fish always
rots, from 9 millimeter were
16 shots!
Numbers don’t lie I’ve been
told, 15 seconds 16 shots 17
years old!
Through the fire is sung by
Chaka Khan,
16 shots burned the body of
LaQuan!
The s*** I’ve done in my past I’m
lucky to be alive and not dead.
Buried 6ft deep with dirt covering
my body. It’s time to make some
changes in my life, so I wouldn't
be doing the same dumb b.s. in
my 40’s, 50’s etc.
I don’t wanna even be doing the
same negative b.s. a year from
now. Time to change my negative
to positive, feel me?
I desire to be free from seg and
prison. I been doing this since I
was 18 years old and I’m tired of
all of this b.s to be honest.
I want to get an education so I
could be at better person on the
inside.
I want to learn how to control my
temper a little better, so that it
don’t cause me to get more time
in prison.
I’m learning to use my coping
skills during times of frustration,
depression, anger, etc.
I wanna change for the better!
Page 9
VOLUME 17, ISSUE 11
This to shall pass
Untitled
By Carl Pence
Miami C.C.
By Vincent Smith
IRCC
I can’t even put into words on
how I feel, not knowing who is
fake and who is real. Can’t even
depend on my own family to
lend me some help, so just like
I’ve done before, I went and got
it myself. I am all that I got as
venom run’s through my blood,
keeping it real, just like I should.
Can’t lie to myself and say I’m
never coming back, cause I’m a
get it like I know how, better believe that. I’m a product of my
society, some call me a menace, because they say I be on
some snake shit. I try to do
what's right and they still say
I’m wrong, so I’ll pray that when
it’s over God forgives me for all
the dirt that I've done. So until
the day I take my last breath I’m
a live life like it’s my last day
left., as they say “This to shall
pass”.
The mistakes that I have made
have paved the way to this
cage. I walked and talked like I
was brave, so I wouldn’t
display that I was afraid.
I have played and been played.
I have never been O.K. as I laid
in the beds I made.
Until I was saved. I am making
no attempt to be exempt from
that name, I once claimed. To
some it’s strange that I’ve
changed. I am no longer being
pointed at by that finger of
blame.
Some think my change is lame.
I am no longer chained to the
shame. No longer a pawn in
the game.
I have repented and ask for
forgiveness for causing so much
hurt and pain and I stand
ashamed because I don’t
remember all the ones I have
hurt, faces or names.
I am now on center stage fresh
out of my man made cage. I
gave life a different look. I am re
–writing my book, now I control
what's on the page.
I am re-creating the image I
made into the one that was
saved. I no longer escape within
the shadows of my shade. In
his grace I’m amazed.
No more game playing,
no more charades.
I have been forgiven and I have
forgave.
I have been prayed for and for
those I have prayed.
I thought getting money made
sense, but I am now convinced.
I don’t need a dollar to change.
Page 10
MAKING CHOICES
I know
By Marvin Clark
Pinckneyville C.C.
The other side of the
fence
By Joe Rosado
Lincoln C.C.
To all my brothers and sisters
behind a wall or fence, stop
the jail talk and holding the
grudge for our defense.
I was upset for it was my first
and only defense.
The judge gave me a 7 piece
at 50 percent.
Done 38 months now with 4
more to go.
At the age of 41 with 3 years
of parole I’m going to be free
at least. It’s on my accountability the tears I shed of happiness no more misery.
This knowledge I speak to you
comes from the heart and
mind, pay attention real close
cause I’m going to say this
one final time.
Think with your head which
comes from your heart.
Anybody can cause damage,
but you can make us depart.
Naw not me that’s what I told
myself.
Playing in these streets you
play what was dealt.
They ain’t you that brother
from Chi-town little village.
That caught that blessing
that said you killed.
Now you standing with that
confused look upon your
face, just when I forgot your
nickname you’re back in this
place.
Telling me joe joe it was not
my fault, yes we did shoot to
kill and yes we got caught.
If you want to know the truth,
ask who was there. Please
hold your tongue my brother I
really don’t care.
Now your sitting in a cell I’m
ready to be released accept I
got free movement you got 123.
I know when you’re hurting, I
know when you’re sad!
I know at times life doesn’t go
your way and you get mad!
I know when you’re happy, I see
when you cry!
I know when you lose someone
important it hurts, and you ask
the simplest question why?
You wait and you wait, but you
get no answer!
Then bad luck strikes again and
you find out someone you love is
dying of cancer.
You might get what I’m saying
but for some it isn’t clear!
You beg and you plead in your
moment of need so why isn’t
anyone there!
So as you sit alone in your cell,
and you stare at the wall!
In your darkest moment you
hear paper and pen start to call!
So you sit at your desk and write
down your words!
Knowing deep inside they will
only go unheard!
So the feelings you think won’t
get felt, and the words no one
will see!
I feel them and I know those
words like I know you, because
you are me!
Page 11
VOLUME 17, ISSUE 11
Journey
By Ray Winston
I’ll been on this lonely journey
beyond anyone could ever
imagine. I’ve loved many times,
I’ve even been sad as one
lonely men could ever be.
This journey have cost lots of
pain and plenty of tears. So
much sadness you would never
believe I have even felt an earth
quake touch the earth. But this
lonely journey must continue; I
have also prayed to the
heavens above for the answer.
I have felted the rain come
down, watch the sunset rise,
seen beautiful rainbows
disappear right before m eyes. I
even watch 747 airplanes
chase planes into the twin
towers turning both towers into
dust. What a sight to see, the
best one for last watching
history Barack Obama became
the only African American to
ever become president of the
United States, this was ne
journey. Like the man himself,
Barack Obama said yes we
can, “journey”.
Night before christmas
By Carl Pence
Miami C.C.
T’was the night before
Christmas and all through the
house, not a creature was
stirring not even a mouse.
My daughter was nestled all
settled in bed, while thoughts of
candy and presents ran through
her head.
Baby momma in a kerchief me
in a baseball hat, had just
settled down for a long nights
nap.
When all of a sudden there
come some bangs at the door,
the police had come to take me
away again once more. So
away to the window I flew like a
flash, tore open the curtains to
throw out my stash.
When what to my wondering
eyes did appear, cops and
flashing lights everywhere.
I was thinking to myself what
should I do, when the cops
yelled out we have a warrant for
you. We have the place
surrounded so come on out
there’s no where to run, it’s time
for you to answer for all the
things you have done..
Before I could answer they
kicked in my front door, so now
here I am laying face down on
the hall way floor. So away to
the station we flew in a flash,
they threw me in a cell after
kicking my a**. I cursed and
yelled all the way down the hall
you aint got nothing on me I’ll
be out by next fall. So I’m a lay
down right now and get me
some rest, but not before I wish
every one very Merry
Christmas.
“I’d like to say happy holidays to
all the men and women and
teens who are locked down”.
A NOTE FROM FR. KELLY
Greetings,
On behalf of all of us at Kolbe
House and Precious Blood
Ministry of Reconciliation, I
want to wish you all a very
Merry Christmas and blessed
New Year.
This has been a very trying time
in the city. The release of the
video of Laquan McDonald has
caused a great deal of turmoil,
which hopefully will bring forth
real change.
Part of our responsibility here at
Kolbe House and Precious
Blood Center is to ensure the
voices of those who have been
impacted by the violence and
incarceration are heard. Too
often, the very people who
know the most are left out of the
dialogue.
That is part of what we will be
about this new year—trying to
build a leadership team in order
to ensure that those voices are
part of the larger dialogue.
I know this can be a hard time
for you who cannot be home
with your family, but know that
you are in our thoughts and
prayers.
God bless you all and have a
blessed Christmas and New
Year.
Peace,
Fr. Kelly
MAKING CHOICES
Kolbe House
2434 S. California Ave.
Chicago, IL 60608
Label here
Making Choices Newsletter is
a project of Kolbe House,
the jail ministry of the
Archdiocese of Chicago and
Precious Blood
Ministry of
Reconciliation .
Continue to send your
articles and poetry to :
Making Choices
2434 S. California Ave.
Chicago, IL 60608