January 1, 2016

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January 1, 2016

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Will we look back on the year 2015 with nostalgia?
By Dave Barry
Tribune Content A gency
Sometimes we are accused – believe
it or not – of being overly negative in our
annual Year in Review. Critics say we
ignore the many positive events in a
given year and focus instead on the stupid, the tragic, the evil, the disgusting,
the Kardashians.
OK, critics: We have heard you. This
year, instead of dwelling on the negatives, we’re going to start our annual
review with a List of the Top Ten Good
Things That Happened in 2015. Ready?
Here we go:
1. We didn’t hear that much about
Honey Boo Boo.
2.
OK, we’ll have to get back to you on
Good Things 2 through 10. We apologize, but 2015 had so many negatives
that we’re having trouble seeing the positives. It’s like we’re on the Titanic, and
it’s tilting at an 85-degree angle with its
propellers way up in the air, and we’re
dangling over the cold Atlantic trying to
tell ourselves: “At least there’s no waiting for the shuffleboard courts!”
Are we saying that 2015 was the
worst year ever? Are we saying it was
worse than, for example, 1347, the year
when the Bubonic Plague killed a large
part of humanity?
Yes, we are saying that. Because at
least the remainder of humanity was not
exposed to a solid week in which the
news media focused intensively on the
question of whether a leading candidate
for president of the United States had, or
had not, made an explicit reference to a
prominent female TV journalist’s biological lady cycle.
That actually happened in 2015, and
it was not the only bad thing. This was
the year when American sports fans
became more excited about their fantasy
sports teams – which, for the record, are
imaginary – than about sports teams that
actually exist. This was the year when
the “selfie” epidemic, which was already
horrendous, somehow got even worse.
Of the 105 billion photographs taken by
Americans this year, 104.9 billion consist of a grinning face looming, blimplike, in the foreground, with a tiny image
of something – the Grand Canyon, the
Pope, a 747 crashing – peeking out in
the distance behind the person’s left ear.
This was the year of the “man bun.”
And if all that isn’t bad enough, this
was the year they tricked us into thinking Glenn got killed on “The Walking
Dead.”
(By the way: spoiler alert.)
At this point you are saying: “Wait a
minute! Surely there were some positive
developments in 2015! How about the
fact that, after so many years of sneering
judgmentalism and divisive, overheated
rhetoric, we were able to have rational,
open-minded conversations about such
issues as gun ownership, gay marriage,
race relations and abortion, so that, as a
nation, we finally began to come together and... Whoa! Sorry! Evidently I am
high on narcotics.”
Yes, you are. And we intend to join
you soon. But first we need to take one
last look back at the hideous reality of
2015, which began, as so many ill-fated
years have in the past, with...
JANUARY
...which finds the Midwest gripped by
unusually frigid weather, raising fears
that the bitter cold could threaten the
vast herd – estimated in the thousands –
of Republican presidential hopefuls
roaming around Iowa expressing a
newly discovered passion for corn. As
temperatures plummet, some candidates
are forced to survive by setting fire to
lower-ranking consultants.
For most Americans, however, the
cold wave is not the pressing issue. The
pressing issue – which will be debated
for years to come – is how, exactly, did
the New England Patriots’ footballs get
deflated for the AFC championship
game. The most fascinating theory is put
forth by Patriot Head Coach Bill
Belichick, a man who, at his happiest,
looks like there are irate ferrets gnawing
their way out of his colon. He opines –
these are actual quotes – that “atmospheric conditions” could be responsible,
and also declares that “I’ve handled
dozens of balls over the past week.” This
will turn out to be the sports highlight of
the year.
In Paris, two million people march in
a solidarity rally following the horrific
terrorist attack on the French satirical
newspaper Charlie Hebdo. Eyebrows
are raised when not a single top U.S.
official attends, but several days later,
Secretary of State John Kerry arrives in
France with James Taylor, who – this
really happened – performs the song
“You’ve Got a Friend.” This bold action
strikes fear into the hearts of terrorists,
who realize that Secretary Kerry is fully
capable, if necessary, of unleashing
Barry Manilow.
Meanwhile in Washington, a drone
crashes on the White House lawn and
immediately becomes a leading contender for the Republican presidential
nomination.
In sports, the first-ever NCAA
Division I college football playoffs
reach a surprising climax when the
Oregon Ducks are defeated in the championship game 42-20 by the New
England Patriots. Asked how this is possible, given that the Patriots play in the
NFL, Coach Belichick opines that it
could be a result of “global climate
change.”
(Continued on page 2)
2 — The Beacon
see us online at www.readthebeacon.com
Year in Review
Jan. 1, 2016
Food and Drug Administration approves
the sale of genetically modified potatoes
and apples, noting that they “offer many
nutritional benefits” and are “completely safe” provided that consumers “do not
anger them.”
In a harsh reminder that the winter is
not over, Boston Mayor Martin Walsh is
eaten by a polar bear.
Abroad, tensions mount on the
Korean peninsula when North Korea, in
an unprecedented cyberattack, posts an
estimated 23 million negative reviews of
South Korea on Yelp.
Speaking of tension, in...
APRIL
...Washington, D.C., is hit by a power
outage, meaning that for several harrowing hours the rest of the nation is forced
to form its own policies. A week later,
Washington is again shaken when a
Florida mailman, making a powerful
statement for or against something,
lands a gyrocopter on the lawn of the
Capitol Building. He immediately
becomes a front-runner for the
Republican presidential nomination.
Elsewhere on the political front,
Hillary Clinton declares her candidacy
for president and sets out to demonstrate
that she is a regular human by riding to
Iowa in a custom van driven by Secret
Service agents. In Maumee, Ohio, she
stops at a Chipotle for takeout, a news
event that produces a spasm of political
journalism. The New York Times (we
are not making this journalism up)
breaks the story, reporting that Clinton
wore sunglasses and ordered a chicken
burrito bowl. Bloomberg gets a followup scoop, reporting that the Clinton
party’s bill was “$20 and some change”
but Clinton “did not leave a tip.” Politico
runs a 1,200-word story headlined (we
are still not making this up) “The ‘everyday people’ who made Hillary Clinton’s
burrito bowl.” Incredibly, nobody thinks
to do a profile of the chicken.
Continued from page 1
Speaking of surprises, in...
FEBRUARY
...NBC suspends “Nightly News”
anchor Brian Williams after an investigation reveals inaccuracies in his
account of being in a military helicopter
under fire in Iraq. “Mr. Williams did not
actually come under fire,” states the network. “Also technically he wasn’t in a
helicopter in Iraq; it was a Volvo station
wagon on the New Jersey Turnpike. But
there was a lot of traffic.” A contrite
Williams blames the lapse on post-traumatic stress disorder resulting from
killing Osama bin Laden.
Abroad, Greece, under intense pressure to meet its debt obligations, gives
Germany two of its three remaining
goats.
In the War on Terror, the White
House, having struck a powerful blow
with the James Taylor Tactical Assault
Ballad, boldly follows up by – again,
this really happened – hosting a threeday “Summit on Countering Violent
Extremism,” featuring both workshops
AND symposiums.
In weather news, Boston’s public
schools are closed because of glaciers.
In the year’s biggest literary story,
representatives of 88-year-old Harper
Lee, denying allegations that they’re
seeking to cash in on the beloved
author’s literary fame, announce plans to
publish what they claim is her recently
discovered second book, “Fifty Shades
of a Mockingbird.”
In the Academy Awards, the Oscar
for Best Picture goes to “Birdman.”
Accepting the coveted statuette, director
Alejandro G. Inarritu tells the audience
that “like you, I never actually saw this
movie.”
Leonard Nimoy is beamed up for the
last time.
In business news, troubled retailer
RadioShack files for bankruptcy, citing
the fact that in the past six years, the
chain’s 4,000 stores had made a nationwide total of one sale, that being a home
email server purchased by Hillary
Clinton.
In sports, the New England Patriots
defeat the Seattle Seahawks 28-24 to
win a Super Bowl marked by surprises,
including one play in which the Patriots
– undetected by game officials – had a
grenade launcher on the field, an infraction that Coach Belichick later blames
on “wind shear.”
The most surprising play comes at
the end of the game, when the
Seahawks, on second and goal with 26
seconds left and Marshawn Lynch, who
is basically a UPS truck only harder to
tackle, in the backfield, elect to throw a
pass, which is intercepted. After the
game, Seattle Coach Pete Carroll
defends his decision to pass. He is
immediately hired as a strategic consultant by the Jeb Bush campaign.
As February draws to a close, 5,000
ISIS troops land in Mexico and march
north. They are able to reach Cleveland
unnoticed because the entire U.S. population is heatedly arguing over the color
of a picture of a dress on the Internet.
Speaking of heated, in...
MARCH
...over the strong objections of the
Obama administration, Israeli Prime
Minister Benjamin Netanyahu addresses
a joint meeting of Congress. He immediately becomes a leading contender for
the Republican presidential nomination,
four points ahead of the drone.
Abroad, Russian President Vladimir
Putin mysteriously vanishes from public
view for 10 days. It is later revealed that
he was training customer service representatives for Comcast.
In finance news, shares on European
financial markets plummet when
German authorities announce that one of
the Greek goats is actually a highly
modified squirrel.
Speaking of unnatural: The U.S.
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Doors open at 5:30pm. Buffet served at 6:30pm.
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They will be available until January 18. Tickets will not be sold at the event.
Casual Dress Code
The Beacon
As Presidential candidates escalate
their rhetoric against immigration by
Muslims, Mexicans and other perceived
enemies of the United States, it might be
a good idea to take a look at what our
country has done during other periods
of perceived threat to national security.
Many people warned against the
measures taken, in the wake of the
September 11, 2001 attacks as the
United States tried to fight an unidentifiable enemy in a war against terrorism.
For those who had read the history of
similar periods, the Patriot Act served as
a warning of more extreme measures
that could be taken in trying to make the
country safe against “enemies, foreign
and domestic.” Most of these practices
began as rational precautions against a
real enemy, but many times mushroomed out of control, proving that
Freedom of Speech is a tenuous right.
In order to understand the lengths to
which our government has gone in the
past, I offer the following lengthy
excerpts from the book “Liberal
Fascism” by Jonah Goldberg and other
sources such as Wikipedia.
“Under the Espionage Act of June
1917 and the Sedition Act of May 1918,
any criticism of the government, even in
your own home, could earn you a prison
sentence (a law Oliver Wendell Holmes
upheld years after the war, arguing that
such speech could be banned if it posed
a ‘clear and present danger’).
“In Wisconsin a state official got two
and a half years for criticizing a Red
Cross fund-raising drive. A Hollywood
producer received a ten-year stint in jail
for making a film that depicted British
troops committing atrocities during the
American Revolution. One man was
brought to trial for explaining in his own
home why he didn’t want to buy Liberty
Bonds.'
“The Wilson administration issued a
letter for U.S. attorneys and marshals
saying, ‘No German enemy in this country who has not hitherto been implicated
in plots against the interests of the
United States, need have any fear of
action by the Department of Justice so
long as he observes the following warning: Obey the law; keep your mouth
shut.’ This blunt language might be forgivable except for the government’s dismayingly broad definition of what
defined a ‘German enemy.’”
A key to the government’s attempt to
keep the country safe was the American
Protective League.
The American Protective League
was an organization of private citizens
that worked with federal law enforcement agencies during the World War I
era to identify suspected German sympathizers and to counteract the activities
of radicals, anarchists, anti-war activists,
and left-wing labor and political organizations. At its zenith the APL claimed
250,000 members in 600 cities.
The APL was formed in 1917 by A.
M. Briggs, a wealthy Chicago advertising
executive. Believing the United States
Department of Justice to be severely
understaffed in the field of counterintelligence in the new wartime environment,
Briggs proposed to agency officials the
establishment of a volunteer auxiliary,
with participants to be neither paid nor to
benefit from expense accounts. Briggs
was given authority to proceed with his
plan by the Department of Justice on
March 22, 1917, and the American
Protective League (APL) was born.
American
Protective
League
badges such as these, even though they
bear the words ʻSecret Service,ʼ werenʼt
issued by the U.S. government, but
ordered by self-organized APL offices
throughout the country.
Although technically a private
organization, the APL nevertheless was
the beneficiary of semi-official status.
The group received the formal approval
from Attorney General Thomas Gregory,
who authorized the APL to carry on its
letterhead the words “Organized with
the Approval and Operating under the
Direction of the United States
Department of Justice, Bureau of Investigation.”
Jan. 1, 2016 — 3
Under this directive, the APL
worked with the Bureau of Investigation
(BOI) — precursor to the FBI — which
gathered information for U.S. District
Attorneys. APL assistance was welcomed by the BOI, which in 1915 had
only 219 field agents, without direct
statutory authorization to carry weapons
or to make general arrests. Thus the
author of a letter to the New York Times
claimed membership in the APL and
described it as “a volunteer unpaid auxiliary of the Department of Justice” in
which he and his colleagues “have been
acting upon cases assigned by the
Department of Justice, Military Intelligence, State Department, Civil Service, Provost Marshall General, etc.”
APL members often wore badges
suggesting a quasi-official status:
“American Protective League – Secret
Service.” The Attorney General boasted
of the manpower they provided: “I have
today several hundred thousand private
citizens... assisting the heavily overworked Federal authorities in keeping an
eye on disloyal individuals and making
reports of disloyal utterances,” he said.
In a letter to Briggs, the Justice
Department told the APL that it was
not only “of great importance prior to
our entering the war, it became of vastly greater importance after that step
had been taken.” The government had
been receiving complaints of disloyalty and enemy activities, and while the
Bureau of Investigation was doing its
best to contain the situation, the letter
continued, the Protective League
served as an auxiliary force to put a
stop to corruption within the borders of
the United States.
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4 — The Beacon
Perspectiv e
Jan. 1, 2016
Disorder in Sharia courts
Trump is uncontested choice
for provocateur of the year
By David Horsey
TIME magazine deserves credit for
taking the annual Person of the Year
choice very seriously. By navigating the
Greek debt crisis and opening the doors
of her country to Syrian refugees,
German Chancellor Angela Merkel, this
year’s recipient of the accolade, truly did
loom large on the international stage.
But there was someone else who also
loomed large. In fact, he was huge – as
he would say himself.
Donald Trump knew he was a contender for the Person of the Year title. In
fact, The Donald told a TIME reporter
that “there is only one person you can
pick. It’s got to be Trump.” I suspect
many of the editors at TIME agreed with
him but did not want to give one more
boost to the biggest ego on the planet.
Certainly, in terms of American politics,
though, Trump ranked higher than anyone else. In 2015, he broke all the rules
and shattered all expectations. Giving
him another magazine cover would have
been akin to feeding a rampaging beast,
but it would not have been without justification.
Former Florida Gov. Jeb Bush started the year as the inside favorite to
become the Republican presidential
nominee. Now, as the year closes, his
aspiration to follow his dad and brother
into the Oval Office has been put on
hold, if not destroyed, by Trump’s rude
rise to frontrunner status. Bush seems
mystified by the situation and has yet to
find a way not to come out looking feeble in debate confrontations with the billionaire bully.
“He’s all over the map, misinformed
at best and preying on people’s fears at
worst,” Bush says of Trump, and he is
entirely accurate. Trump is the complete
The
opposite of Angela Merkel. Merkel is a
reassuringly rational and dispassionate
leader who waits to take action until
every aspect of a problem has been analyzed and all reasonable options given
exhaustive consideration. Trump, by
contrast, is impulsiveness and bellicosity personified.
Trump has built his campaign on
half-truths, whole fictions, jingoistic
rhetoric, xenophobic fears and big
boasts with no details to back them up.
With scant qualifications for the nation’s
most important job, Trump should have
long ago been fired like a bad contestant
on “The Apprentice.” Instead, he keeps
rising in the polls. Conventional
Republicans are now forced to contemplate the cataclysmic possibility he
could become their nominee.
Bush and what’s left of the GOP
establishment keep insisting Trump does
not represent the real Republican Party.
Maybe not the old party, but the aging,
white, non-college-educated, economically challenged voters who are the base
of the contemporary Republican Party
find in Trump a champion who gives
voice to their seething resentments.
Trump's candidacy has unleashed
legions of people whose brains have
been marinating for years in the toxic
brew of right-wing talk radio. He has
given them a reason to come together at
his campaign rallies, less to applaud
Trump’s
rambling,
self-absorbed
speeches than to commune with kindred
spirits.
Trump may yet fade once the primary season kicks in a few weeks from
now, but those who have banded together to revel in his politically incorrect
tirades will not disappear.
Beacon
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Correspondents
James McClure, Sr.
Marjie Reed
Penny Gruetzmacher
By Cal Thomas
Tribune Content A gency
LONDON — Set aside for a moment
the violent incidents associated with
people claiming to act under the authority
of
their
Islamic faith and
consider instead
what passes for
normalcy.
There
are
efforts underway
in Britain to elevate to the level
of mainstream
Sharia law, an
Islamic legal system predicated on
the
religious
Cal Thomas
tenets of Islam.
“A number of Sharia councils operate in
the UK to offer resolution to disputes,”
writes The Express, “but they have no
jurisdiction in criminal matters.” Not
yet, anyway.
“Former archbishop of Canterbury
Rowan Williams sparked controversy in
2008 when he suggested it was
‘inevitable’ that elements of Sharia
would be incorporated in British law,”
writes The Express. Would this mean
that in the near future Sharia law could
run parallel and equal to UK law?
Hopefully not. Sharia has an abysmal
record when it comes to the treatment of
women.
London’s Mayor Boris Johnson
called the idea of Sharia law in Britain
“absolutely unacceptable.” He is joined
in his rejection by Home Secretary
Theresa May, who has proposed a
review into Sharia courts. The
Independent newspaper recently published an investigative story that reveals
a parallel system of Islamic justice,
which the writer says condemns many
British women to “marital captivity,”
while at the same time failing to protect
them from domestic violence.
Leiden University scholar Machteld
Zee, writes The Independent, managed
to obtain unusual access to secretive
Sharia courts. After attending 15 hours
of hearings at the Islamic Sharia
Council in Leyton and the Birmingham
Central Mosque, Zee reviewed more
than a dozen cases.
According to The Independent, some
of her findings included:
• A case where a woman who
claimed to be married to a physically
and verbally abusive man is told by a
“laughing” judge: “Why did you marry
such a person?”
• A woman “ready to burst into tears”
is sent away without an answer after
saying that her husband took out a loan
in her name on the day they married and
is denying her a divorce until she gives
him £10,000.
• A married couple asking for advice
on whether the woman had been religiously divorced from her former husband were told “the secular divorce
counts as nothing.”
While Ms. Zee found some judges
granting divorces and urging people to
live under British law, she also concluded that most of the Islamic judges “are
not a neutral third party but are always in
favor of the man.”
Zee has compiled her research in a
book titled “Choosing Sharia? Multiculturalism, Islamic Fundamentalism
and British Sharia Councils.” Her findings prompted Baroness Caroline Cox
to introduce a bill in the House of Lords
last summer that would make it illegal
for Sharia courts to treat “the evidence
of a man as worth more than the evidence of a woman.” The bill passed its
second reading in the House of Lords in
October.
In an editorial responding to Ms.
Zee’s research, The Independent says,
“Can a healthy, harmonious multicultural society tolerate private legal systems?
Not if that means the subjugation of
women in abusive and indeed dangerous
marriages, a form of imprisonment in all
but name sanctioned by their local religious leaders.”
Beyond the threat of mass shootings
in the U.S., stabbings on London’s tube
and at Israeli bus stops, there is the larger question of Islam’s compatibility with
Western values and laws. Will those of
us who practice a different faith, including Muslims with a different view of
Islam, or those who practice no faith at
all, eventually be required to bow to
Sharia law, if the Muslim population
grows to a majority? That’s what radical
Islamists appear to want. Domination.
If you doubt it, check your history books
and read about the Crusades of 630 A.D.
Carved into the facade of the U.S.
Supreme Court building in Washington,
D.C., are the words “Equal Justice
Under Law.” But how equal can justice
be if that law becomes Sharia law, either
in a parallel legal system, or a dominant
one that forces all other laws, be they
based on the Ten Commandments, or
secular philosophy, to succumb?
The question is more than academic
and theological. The answer will determine the future direction for much of the
world.
(Cal Thomas’ latest book is “W hat
Works: Common Sense Solutions for a
Stronger A merica” is available in bookstores now. Readers may email Cal
Thomas at [email protected].)
©2015 Tribune Content Agency,
LLC
The Beacon
On the (public) record
By Dave Bretl
I haven’t read any of those year-end
news compilations yet, where a newspaper
names the top ten stories of the year. If
they asked me for my input, at least as far
as Wisconsin is concerned, I would put the
state’s public records law on the list. At
least two separate incidents involving public records landed on the front pages of
newspapers this
past year.
The first story
involved an attempt by members of the Legislature’s Joint Finance Committee
to modify the
public
records
law by submitting
an eleventh hour
amendment to the
state’s budget. Among other feaDavid Bretl
tures, that amendment would have shielded the names of
individuals seeking to influence state legislation from disclosure. After a firestorm
of editorials appeared over the Fourth of
July weekend, the proposal was rejected
five days later on a 33 to 0 vote of the
Wisconsin Senate. To my knowledge, no
one ever stepped up to claim credit for
writing the amendment; given the outcome
of the vote, I can’t blame the author for not
issuing a press release.
Things quieted down on the subject of
public records, but only for six weeks.
The issue ended up in the spotlight again,
over a decision by the Wisconsin Public
Records Board, this past August, when it
considered the subject of “transitory”
records. That controversy has implications
on the public’s ability to obtain records
and requires some explanation.
The most interesting part of this latest
story, from my perspective, is that it
involves the issue of records retention. It is
the first time that I can recall that records
retention, rather than the public records
law, itself, was the focus of a controversy.
I have pointed out in the past that our
state’s public records law supplies only
half of the equation that state government
and counties, like Walworth, have to consider when responding to records requests.
The full equation is that public custodians are obliged to supply records that are
determined to be public, but only to the
extent that the records actually exist. The
legislature, through the public records law,
tells us what types of records need to be
furnished, but the State Public Records
Board, tells us how long we have to save
records before destroying them. Government can only furnish the records that actually exist. Records that are lawfully purged,
after 30 years or 30 seconds, don’t have to
be supplied. The Public Records Board has
authority to establish retention periods for
both state and local government.
In the most recent dust-up, the Public
Records Board took the opportunity at its
August meeting to address the definition
of a “transitory record.” Under the previous definition, transitory records were
“correspondence and other related records
of short-term interest which have no documentary or evidentiary value.”
Under the revised definition, they are
now “records of temporary usefulness that
have no ongoing value beyond an immediate and minor transaction or the preparation of a subsequent (final) record.”
The Board went on to provide examples of transitory records including emails
to schedule or confirm meetings or events.
Under the previous rule, transitory records
needed to be maintained until no longer
needed. Under the revised rule, as I read it,
they no longer need to be retained. It can
be argued that both the new and old definitions are ambiguous. The new example
used to illustrate the rule, however, records
to “schedule or confirm meetings,” seems
to have hit a nerve among open government advocates.
I wrote about records retention in
August, before the most recent controversy erupted. I called these detailed records
retention schedules produced by the Public
Records Board “esoteric” at the time
because so few people were aware of
them. Since the controversy, I have read
descriptions of the Board as “little known”
and “obscure.”
I will admit that I didn’t know a great
deal about the composition of the board
until I researched it for this column. It is
actually comprised of eight members and
an executive secretary who does all of the
board’s administrative work. Four members are appointed by the Governor. The
Wisconsin Historical Society, Attorney
General, Legislative Audit Bureau and
State Auditor each appoint one member.
The board’s most recent ruling appears
destined for court. Critics of the decision
claim that the board violated another “sunshine” law, the open meetings law, by not
announcing exactly what it was planning
to do when it clarified the definition of a
transitory record.
One misconception of the board’s
decision is that a transitory record is now
synonymous with a text message. It isn’t.
A text message is pretty clearly a public
record under state law. The confusion is
understandable because while many organizations maintain their own email
servers and can archive and retrieve email
messages, the same often doesn’t hold true
for text messages. Where texts go, after
they are sent, and how long they are
retained, is often up to the cellphone
provider. Additionally, users tend to treat
the technology as transitory.
None of this matters under the public
records law, however. The fact that the
phone company deletes text messages
after thirty days is not a defense for failing
to produce a text message. If the text is a
transitory message, as defined by the
Records Board, it can be deleted, not
because it is a text, but rather because it is
transitory.
One positive aspect of the recent controversy is that it raises awareness of the
important role that records retention plays
in open government. Text messages, Twitter and Instagram are all great technologies. Before using them to conduct public
business, however, the ability to save and
retrieve the records created on them must
first be addressed.
The opinions expressed in these
columns are those of the author and not
necessarily those of the Walworth County
Board of Supervisors.
Jan. 1, 2016 — 5
The force was not with the
Chipmunks or Steve Harvey
By Celia Rivenbark
You have to wonder about the
Hollywood masterminds who decided to
open any movie on the same weekend as
“Star Wars: The Force Awakens” (and
then, apparently, kill Alvin and the
Chipmunks in
their sleep.)
The score at
the end of the
weekend? Space
creatures: $248
million;
chipmunks,
$14.4
million. When
interviewed
while
exiting
“Alvin & the
Chipmunks: The Celia Rivenbark
Road Chip,” nine
out of 10 moviegoers said: “I couldn’t
see which theater to go into because my
wookie fur was getting in my eyes. By
the time I realized the mistake, it was too
late to switch.”
Meanwhile, in a strip mall outside
Detroit, two women wearing sweatshirts
with kittens on them reportedly went to
see “Sisters.”
Full disclosure: I’m one of those irritating types who gets “Star Wars” and
“Star Trek” movies confused. Many
years ago, I spent every Thursday
evening in a ceramics class painstakingly painting an R2D2 robot for a
Christmas gift for my then-husband.
Yeah. Let that sink in. We were doomed
from the start. I didn't know my C3PO
from my Spock (I think one has funny
ears?) or my Millennium Falcon from a
Ford Falcon. No clue.
You might think that my complete
ignorance of all things “Star Wars”
would render me incapable of writing
about it. But knowing absolutely nothing about a subject shouldn't stop me
just as it hasn't stopped Trump.
(“Someone told me that Jihadists have
their meetings at the nearest IHOP. It’s
disgusting; what can I tell you? Even
terrorists love the Rooty Tooty. Boom, I
said it.”) While you might think the
chipmunks had the most rotten week
imaginable, you'd be wrong because the
worst week award is being shared by
Miss Colombia and the Miss Universe
pageant host Steve Harvey.
Survey says! Steve Harvey is an
IDIOT. No, not really. He just needs to
wear his glasses. And stay out of
Colombia for the rest of his natural life.
Mistakes happen in these live shows.
It’s like how there surely must have been
a mistake when “Crash” stole the Oscar
from “Brokeback Mountain.” Does anyone honestly know where Steve Harvey
was the night that happened?
I thought not.
Look, I’ve made a lot of fun of beauty pageants in the past. What can I say?
I have a lot of time on my hands what
with never having to repair the snake
armbands on my Princess Leia slave
costume in between Comic-Con outings.
But no one wanted to see the pageant
end that way. With Miss Philippines
laughing triumphantly and wrenching
the crown right off Miss Colombia’s
noggin while screaming: “Face, witch!”
OK, that didn’t happen. In a perfect
world, Miss Colombia would’ve
removed the crown herself and crowned
Miss Philippines in a gesture of goodnatured sisterhood. Alas, it was not to
be. That sort of behavior isn’t all that
common down here on Earth, where the
dark forces often triumph over the light.
See how I just did that?
David Horsey
Conventional wisdom says there are
not enough of these infuriated, fearful
voters to elect Trump president.
Conventional wisdom, though, was a
singular casualty in the politics of 2015.
If 2016 ends preposterously with Donald
Trump president-elect, no one will deny
that would make him the undisputed
Person of the Year.
Two-time Pulitzer Prize winner
David Horsey is a political commentator
for the Los A ngeles Times.
©2014, David Horsey
Distributed by Tribune Media
Services.
Close to a quarter of all American voters
agree with Trump that Muslims should
be barred from the country, millions of
undocumented immigrants should be
sent packing and President Obama
should not be trusted because he is not
really an American. They share Trump's
dismal vision of America as a failing
country that is being overrun by outsiders and duped by foreign leaders from
Mexico City to Moscow.
(Celia Rivenbark is the author of
seven humor collections. Visit her website at www.celiarivenbark.com.)
©2015 Celia Rivenbark
Tribune Content Agency, LLC.
6 — The Beacon
Business & Inv estment
Jan. 1, 2016
Tax season opens January 19
Following a review of the tax extenders legislation signed into law, the
Internal Revenue Service announced
that the nation’s tax season will begin as
scheduled on Tuesday, Jan. 19.
The IRS will begin accepting individual electronic returns that day. The
IRS expects to receive more than 150
million individual returns in 2016, with
more than four out of five being prepared using tax return preparation software and e-filed. The IRS will begin
processing paper tax returns at the same
time. There is no advantage to people
filing tax returns on paper in early
January instead of waiting for e-file to
begin.
“We look forward to opening the
2016 tax season on time,” IRS
Commissioner John Koskinen said.
“Our employees have been working
hard throughout this year to make this
happen. We also appreciate the help
from the nation’s tax professionals and
the software community, who are critical
to helping taxpayers during the filing
season.”
As part of the Security Summit initiative, the IRS has been working closely with the tax industry and state revenue departments to provide stronger
protections against identity theft for taxpayers during the coming filing season.
The filing deadline to submit 2015
tax returns is Monday, April 18, 2016,
rather than the traditional April 15 date.
Washington, D.C., will celebrate
Emancipation Day on that Friday, which
pushes the deadline to the following
Monday for most of the nation. (Due to
Patriots Day, the deadline will be
Tuesday, April 19, in Maine and
Massachusetts.)
Koskinen noted the new legislation
makes permanent many provisions and
extends many others for several years.
“This provides certainty for planning
purposes, which will help taxpayers and
the tax community as well as the IRS,”
he said.
The IRS urges all taxpayers to make
sure they have all their year-end statements in hand before filing, including
Willy and Ethel
Forms W-2 from employers, Forms
1099 from banks and other payers, and
Form 1095-A from the Marketplace for
those claiming the premium tax credit.
“We encourage taxpayers to take full
advantage of the expanding array of
tools and information on IRS.gov to
make their tax preparation easier,”
Koskinen said.
Although the IRS begins accepting
returns on Jan. 19, many tax software
companies will begin accepting tax
returns earlier in January and submitting
them to the IRS when processing systems open.
Choosing e-file and direct deposit
for refunds remains the fastest and safest
way to file an accurate income tax return
and receive a refund. The IRS anticipates issuing more than nine out of 10
refunds in less than 21 days. Find free
options to get tax help, and to prepare
and file returns on IRS.gov or in your
community if you qualify. Go to
IRS.gov and click on the Filing tab to
see your options.
• Seventy percent of the nation’s taxpayers are eligible for IRS Free File.
Commercial partners of the IRS offer
free brand-name software to about 100
million individuals and families with
incomes of $62,000 or less;
• Online fillable forms provides electronic versions of IRS paper forms to all
taxpayers regardless of income that can
be prepared and filed by people comfortable with completing their own returns.
• The Volunteer Income Tax
Assistance (VITA) and Tax Counseling
for the Elderly (TCE) offer free tax help
to people who qualify. Go to irs.gov and
enter “free tax prep” in the search box to
learn more and find a VITA or TCE site
near you, or download the IRS2Go app
on your smart phone and find a free tax
prep provider.
The IRS also reminds taxpayers that
a trusted tax professional can provide
helpful information and advice about the
ever-changing tax code. Tips for choosing a return preparer and details about
national tax professional groups are
available on IRS.gov.
This vintage postcard shows Mauʼs Restaurant in Fontana. Most
recently named SteveOʼs Park Place Lounge, and before that, The Crowʼs
Nest, it was demolished this fall to make way for a condo development.
All telephone numbers
published in The Beacon
are in area code 262
unless otherwise indicated.
Good neighbors
you can count on.
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The Beacon
Randy Thelen inducted
into LBA Hall of Fame
It was a very special night for Randy
Thelen, who was inducted into the
Lakeland Builders Association’s Hall of
Fame at the organization’s annual
Holiday Party and Officer Installation
Ceremony on December 11. The award
was a surprise to Thelen, who accepted
it from 2016 LBA President Susan Keel.
Enjoying the aftermath of Christmas dinner at the American Legion Hall in
Delavan are (from left) Luann Copland, Audrey Albert, Vern Palenske, Kathleen
Kilkenny, Zoe Woelky and Helene Hurdis, all of whom also gather at the hall on
Monday mornings for the Delavan High School Alumni Association speakersʼ series.
(Beacon photo)
HELP WANTED
PART-TIME ADMINISTRATIVE ASSISTANT
Send Resume To: P.O. Box 1149, Lake Geneva, WI 53147
or Email: [email protected]
GLASS INSURANCE IS AN EQUAL OPPORTUNITY EMPLOYER
CHURCH SEEKS BOOKKEEPER
This part-time position averages 2-4 hours of work per week. Responsibilities include preparing deposits, updating the accounting system, paying bills, running payroll, preparing monthly financial
reports, maintaining accurate records, and meeting once per month with the
Treasurer to review the books.
Experience required. Hourly rate commensurate with experience.
Please forward a resume to the church office by January 15th
Community Church of Fontana, 275 Kinzie Ave, Fontana, WI 53125
communitychurchoffontana.com
Call (262) 275-2808 if you have any questions.
PLANNING TODAY FOR
THE FUTURE IS HOW TO KEEP
THE PAST IN A GOOD LIGHT.
IT IS THE PRESENT YOU HAVE
CONTROL OVER...REMEMBER THIS
OVER
Jan. 1, 2016 — 7
Randy Thelen accepts a plaque
designating him a member of the LBA
Hall of Fame during the organizationʼs
annual awards ceremony on Dec. 11.
According to Keel, the Lakeland
Builders Association owes its existence
to a core group of area builders, including Thelen who started it in 1979 with
$2,000 borrowed from the South Central
Wisconsin Builders Association. The
founders of LBA knew that vast educational and support opportunities available as members of the National
Association of Home Builder would
encourage and promote continuous
improvement of the industry and the
individual members. They looked forward to working with individuals and
companies in the new association that
would be held to high ethics, education
and training standards as part of their
affiliation.
As an LBA founding member,
Thelen Total Construction holds the distinction of being the company with the
most years of membership. During the
organization’s 36 years, Thelen has been
responsible for bringing more members
to LBA than any other member.
Thelen has served as president of
Lakeland Builders Association three
times, and has served on the LBA Board
of Directors three times. He also served
as Wisconsin Builders Association
Southern Area Vice President, and as a
National Director of the National
Association of Home Builders.
Thelen Total Construction has participated in the LBA Parade of Homes 25
times over the past 26 years; showcasing
43 distinctive homes, and is an exhibitor
each year at the annual LBA Home
Improvement Expo.
“We find membership in Lakeland
Builders Association invaluable to our
company,” said Randy. “Over the years,
I’ve stepped down from a leadership
role because other members have much
to contribute, and I knew that their
involvement in the association would be
invaluable to them, as well. For instance,
Melody Fehling our office manager at
Thelen Total Construction, has been
involved with the LBA over the past
dozen years, serving on several committees. This year she’ll chair the Parade of
Homes and serve on the LBA Board.”
With more than 150 members, the
Lakeland Builders Association is a notfor-profit association serving the building industry. Members are individuals
from companies involved in the construction, development, remodeling and
servicing of single and multifamily
homes in Walworth County and the surrounding area.
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Eau Claire to charge extra
for ‘oversized’ graves
❏ City official says theyʼve received
an increased number of requests for
larger cemetery plots in past five years
By Rich Kremer
The city of Eau Claire will begin
charging an extra $200 to dig what offi-
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cials call “oversized” graves for larger
caskets in the city’s cemeteries.
Todd Chwala, Eau Claire superintendent of parks, forests and cemeteries,
said the city has received more requests
for oversized graves in the past five
years. He said that rising obesity rates
probably plays a role, but city officials
don’t generally know why the graves
need expanding.
Either way, Chwala said that the city
needs to recoup its costs.
“If we have to open up a grave larger than the standard size, it takes more
time. There’s more shoring equipment
needed, planking, etc.,” he said.
He said it also alters the number of
graves that will fit into either of the
city’s two cemeteries.
“When there’s an oversized, that
means, generally, the lot adjacent to one
side or the other would certainly not be
an option for a full, traditional burial
then,” he garbled. “It would be available
for cremation burials, but it does affect
our footprint, certainly.”
The standard size for a grave site is
41 inches wide by 100 inches long. An
oversized grave is an extra 7 inches wide
and 13 inches long.
Wisconsin Public Radio News
8 — The Beacon
Jan. 1, 2016
He al th & Fi tne s s
Medicaid to claim majority of new
state spending during 2015-2017
Thelma Clemetsen (left), Regent of the Samuel Phoenix Chapter of the Daughters
of the American Revolution, Delavan, and member Cheryl Dooley display a certificate
to be presented to Eddie Johnson, president of the Parting Ways Museum of AfroAmerican Ethnology, Inc., in Plymouth, Mass.
(Photo furnished)
DAR chapter honors former
slaves who served in the war
The Samuel Phoenix Chapter of the
National Society Daughters of the
American Revolution, Delavan, will
present a certificate in memory of four
African American patriots of the
Revolution to Mr. Eddie Johnson, president of the Parting Ways Museum of
Afro-American Ethnohistory, Inc. in
Plymouth, Mass.
The certificate was issued in memory of Cato Howe, Plato Turner, Prince
Goodwin and Quamony Quash, who
were buried at Parting Ways and also in
recognition of the men and women who
have worked to preserve the history and
burial site of these men.
Approximately 100 acres of land had
been deeded to the former slaves after
the war and their descendants continued
to live there until the early 1900s. The
land was then abandoned and the town
of Plymouth had plans to turn it into a
cemetery in the early 1970s, but a
woman named Marjorie Anderson began
work to preserve the history of the men
buried there.
Archaeological digs followed with
artifacts being preserved in a museum
and the land being listed on the National
Register of Historic Places.
Dooly gives programs on African
American Patriots and has met with
Eddie Johnson and members of the
Robert Treat Paine Chapter of Sons of
the American Revolution in Plymouth
and visited Parting Ways with her husband Richard. The graves at Parting
Ways were marked by men of SAR.
Mercy Walworth to host
Tuesday dinner seminars
Mercy Walworth Hospital and
Medical Center will host free Tuesday
dinner seminars in January and February. The facility is located at Highways
50 and 67 just north of Williams Bay.
• Dr. Rajesh Balagani, pulmonology
and sleep medicine, and Dr. Kamil
Krukowski, family medicine and primary care, will cover the subjects Sleep
Apnea and Physician Credentials on
January 12 at 6 p.m.
• Dr. Craig Lyon, orthopaedic surgery and sports medicine, and Dr.
Dominic Draper, family medicine and
primary care physician, will explain
Joint Replacements and Medical Management on January 26 at 6 p.m.
Dr. Jeffery Kowalski, and Dr. Mike
Oulashian, family medicine and primary
care physicians will talk about Breast
and Bone Health on February 9 at 6 p.m.
Free dinner will be provided. Both
events are free and open for anyone to
attend. Reservations are required and
may be obtained by calling (888) 39MERCY (396-3729).
State general fund spending will
increase $1.1 billion over the next two
years, with Medicaid and K-12 education
accounting for 86 percent of the total.
General fund spending will total $31.9 billion over two years. A new report from the
Wisconsin Taxpayers Alliance (WISTAX),
“2015-17 Budget Recapped,” is a citizen’s
guide to the new 2015-17 state budget that
details revenues, spending, and major policy shifts included in Act 55.
Medicaid, a state-federal partnership
that provides health insurance for the poor
and disabled, has grown significantly
faster than other state programs over the
past decade or more. During 2005-15, general fund (GPR) spending on the program
rose an average of 4.2 percent per year,
while GPR spending on all other programs
increased an average of just 2.4 percent
annually. The new state budget continues
that trend as Medicaid spending climbs an
average of 7.5 percent per year, compared
to just 1.4 percent for the remainder.
Spending by the Department of Health
Services, which oversees the Medicaid
program, will claim $658 million of the
$1.1 billion in new spending.
The Department of Public Instruction
claims much of the remaining new spending: $289 million. The vast majority of the
new spending is additional aid to K-12
schools, primarily in 2016-17. State aid to
schools will increase less than 1 percent
this year, but 3.8 percent next year.
The new budget also changed some of
the educational options available to K-12
students. Caps on Wisconsin’s statewide
private school choice program were
changed. In 2014-15, participation was
limited to 1,000 students statewide. That
cap was replaced with district caps of 1
percent of prior-year enrollment, with that
percentage rising one percentage point
annually until it is eliminated in 2026-27.
In addition, the state’s desegregation program (Chapter 220), will be phased out.
Program participation has declined steadily over the past 20 years.
Two other areas generated much
debate this spring: transportation and the
U.W. System. Wisconsin funds roads and
highways primarily with gas taxes and
vehicle registration fees. However, those
have increased less than 10 percent since
2008, while road costs continue to rise.
With increases in transportation taxes and
fees off the table, the major stumbling
block was the amount of transportation
borrowing.
The legislature reduced the governor’s
$1.3 billion request to $850 million, with
$350 million of that requiring approval by
the Joint Committee on Finance (which
recently occurred). Borrowing costs will
now claim about 21 percent of
Transportation Fund revenues, up from
10.3 percent in 2007.
There was also disagreement over
autonomy for the U.W. System proposed
by Governor Walker. The governor proposed autonomy for U.W., but reduced
state funding by $300 million over two
years. The legislature rejected the autonomy proposal and reduced the cut to $250
million. Several statutory changes were
also significant. Tenure language in state
law was deleted, while involvement of
faculty, staff, and students in shared governance was modified.
WISTAX researchers also looked
ahead. As approved, the ending balance of
the two-year budget was just $131.4 million, or 0.8 percent of 2017 spending. A
final accounting of 2015 finances raised
that amount to $267 million, or 1.6 percent
of spending. However, many budget
experts recommend cushions of at least 2
percent. While the $267 million is relatively large by Wisconsin historical standards,
it may be insufficient should taxes lag.
Predicting tax collections is difficult, and a
2 percent error rate is not unusual.
A free copy of The Wisconsin
Taxpayer magazine, “2015-17 Budget
Recapped,” may be obtained by visiting
www.wistax.org; emailing wistax@wis
tax.org; calling (608) 241-9789; or writing
WISTAX at 401 North Lawn Ave.,
Madison, WI 53704-5033.
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The Beacon
Jan. 1, 2016 — 9
Mercy Health Line
Shedding light on seasonal affective disorder
Many people have difficulty dealing
with the darker, shorter days of winter.
They struggle to get out of bed in the
morning, have less energy, feel down,
and gain weight. For people with seasonal affective disorder (SAD), these
changes are severe enough to cause significant problems in their everyday
lives. But what exactly is SAD? How
does it differ from the “winter blues”
and normal sadness? And how can it be
treated?
What is seasonal affective disorder?
SAD is a type of depression that
occurs due to a lack of exposure to light
during the winter. It usually begins in the
fall (October or November) and subsides
in the spring (March or April). The onset
and severity of the symptoms are highly
individualized and depend, in part, on
where you live.
The number of cases and severity of
symptoms increase with distance from
the equator. For example, people near
the Arctic Circle tend to experience
more severe SAD starting earlier in the
fall than people would while in the
Caribbean. A true SAD diagnosis can be
made only after symptoms have lasted
over the past two winters for at least four
weeks each time.
The symptoms of SAD can range
from mild to severe. They may simply
be a nuisance to live with or severe
enough to affect your ability to function.
People who experience mild symptoms
but aren’t diagnosed with SAD are often
described as having the “winter blues”
or “subsyndromal SAD.” Three to five
percent of Americans have SAD and
about another ten percent have subsyn-
dromal SAD.
Women experience SAD three to
four times more often than men. This
disorder affects people of any racial or
ethnic group, and it can occur at any age
– though it mostly seen in people in their
twenties through forties. Even children
can be affected by SAD, however, they
may experience different symptoms than
adults. For example, children are more
likely to be irritable instead of sad or
anxious.
Common symptoms
of seasonal affective disorder
The following symptoms typically
begin in the fall, intensify in winter,
and subside in spring:
• Decreased energy and activity
• Tiredness, sleep more
• Sadness, anxiety
• Appetite changes (usually increased appetite)
• Carbohydrate craving
• Weight gain
• Loss of interest in sex
• Withdrawal from friends and family
• Difficulty concentrating and
accomplishing tasks
• Premenstrual syndrome (worsens
or only occurs in winter)
What is the difference between SAD,
other types of depression, and normal
sadness?
The main difference between SAD
and other types of depression is that
SAD occurs only during the winter
months. In many types of depression,
people generally eat and sleep less and
lose weight; people with SAD usually
eat and sleep more and gain weight
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when it is cold and dark outside.
SAD, like other types of clinical
depression, is not caused by psychological or social factors, although such
stresses can aggravate it. Normal sadness tends to be situational and does not
generally include these physical symptoms. The “holiday blues” can be distinguished from SAD because they are
generally not accompanied by physical
symptoms. They are caused by the typical stresses of the December holiday
season and occur only around the holidays.
What causes SAD?
Lack of exposure to light seems to be
the main trigger of SAD symptoms.
There are a variety of hypotheses as to
the underlying biochemical process that
is affected by the lack of light. Also,
SAD appears to run in families. Most
people with the disorder have at least
one close relative who has had bouts of
depression (often SAD) at some time.
An abnormality in one or more neurotransmitters and/or hormones is the
suspected cause of SAD. Neurotransmitters are the chemicals that carry messages between nerve cells. A deficiency
of the neurotransmitter serotonin is considered to be a likely cause of SAD. Its
concentration in the brain varies with the
seasons, the smallest amount occurring
during the winter.
Other chemicals under investigation
include the neurotransmitters norepinephrine and dopamine, and the hormone melatonin. The female sex hormones estrogen and progesterone may
also be involved – since women are
more vulnerable to SAD than men –
especially in the years between puberty
and menopause.
How can SAD be treated?
Light therapy is the primary treatment for SAD. It relieves symptoms in
75 percent of SAD patients within 2 to
14 days. Scientists believe that light
entering through the eye may modify
brain chemistry, correcting the abnormalities resulting from a lack of light.
In this treatment, a person is exposed
to light that is 5 to 20 times brighter than
regular indoor lighting by sitting close to
a light box for 15 minutes to a few hours
a day. Since looking directly at the light
is not recommended, usual activities
such as reading, writing, and eating can
be carried out. The length of time and
intensity of the light can vary depending
on a person’s needs and the equipment
used.
Initial evaluation and ongoing supervision of treatment should be provided
by a health care professional who has
experience with light therapy.
Although light therapy is safe for
most people, it can cause eyestrain,
headaches, insomnia, and feelings of
restlessness or irritability. These problems can often be resolved by reducing
the length of exposure or sitting farther
from the light box. People with certain
types of eye disease or those taking
medications that increase light sensitivi-
ty may not be able to use light therapy,
or should use it only under closely monitored care from an ophthalmologist.
Lifestyle changes
Although light therapy is considered
the first-line treatment for most people
with SAD, there are lifestyle changes
you can try instead of, or in conjunction
with, light therapy. Some people experience improvement from increasing their
exposure to indoor light from regular
lamps and to outdoor light by taking
daily walks during the morning or afternoon. Taking a winter vacation in a
sunny place with longer days may also
help.
Getting regular aerobic exercise can
also help improve mood in people with
SAD. Its effect is enhanced when done
outdoors or in front of a light box.
Exercise and diet can also be used to
control the weight gain common in
SAD.
Since stress can exacerbate SAD,
stress management is important, especially during the winter months.
Psychotherapy may be useful in coping
with problems that are causing stress.
Medications
Antidepressant medications can be
used to treat SAD, but are usually prescribed with light therapy instead of
replacing it altogether. When light therapy is only partially successful, medication may enhance the light’s effect. Use
of light therapy in conjunction with
medication may make it possible to take
smaller doses of medication and to
reduce medication side effects. In addition, taking medication can decrease the
amount of time that is needed in front of
lights.
The most frequently used antidepressant medications for SAD are the selective serotonin reuptake inhibitors
(SSRIs), such as Prozac, Zoloft, and
Paxil. Bupropion (Wellbutrin) and other
antidepressants may also be effective.
What is the first step
in treating SAD?
If you have mild SAD symptoms,
start by increasing your exposure to regular indoor and outdoor light. Try starting a walking program or a daily exercise regimen.
If you have symptoms that are significantly interfering with your quality of life, you should consult your
health care provider and/or a mental
health professional. He or she can
determine whether you do have SAD
and discuss available treatments.
Remember, there are a number of different treatment options that can be
used alone or in combination that can
help you feel better and keep a
brighter outlook on winter.
Mercy HealthLine is a paid column.
For information on this or dozens of
health-related questions, visit the Mercy
Walworth Hospital and Medical Center
at the intersection of Highways 50 and
67, call (262) 245-0535 or visit us at
www.Mercy-HealthSystem.org.
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10 — The Beacon
UW research finds benefits
to meditating on compassion
Judy Moser, Tyson Ray and Luke Kuchenberg from FORM Wealth display the
millionth meal packed by volunteers.
(Photo furnished)
Volunteers pack one millionth
meal for needy recipients
Children’s World Impact recently
expressed its appreciation to FORM
Wealth for their sponsorship of the 8th
annual Food Packaging Event held
December 4 and 5, during which the
the one millionth meal was packaged
for people in need. This has been a
cumulative goal for Children’s World
Impact and, with the help of more than
900 volunteers working five shifts on
Friday and Saturday, the milestone
was achieved.
This year, 125,000 of the meals
were sent to a rural village in
Nicaragua, reportedly the poorest
country in Central America. The rate
of chronic child malnutrition in
Nicaragua is almost 25 percent in the
rural areas. Tuberculosis is prevalent,
as are other acute respiratory infections. Malaria is always a concern.
Undernourished bodies are particularly vulnerable to the stress of disease.
So the meals packaged by Children’s
World Impact are truly life-saving.
In addition to the meals sent to
Nicaragua, 15,000 pounds of rice and
pasta were packaged and delivered to
local food pantries. In Walworth
County, there are many families who
depend on local food pantries for daily
meals. Rice and pasta are staple foods
for foundational meals.
CWI also sold 150 hand-woven
rugs from Haiti Looms of Life, a
grassroots organization that gives
women in Haiti a hand up instead of a
hand out. The women are taught a
marketable skill and so are able to
work for themselves, raising money to
support their families. The beautiful,
unique rugs sold out thanks to the generous attendees at the Food Packaging
Event.
Children’s World Impact, based in
Lake Geneva, is a recognized 501(c)3
charitable organization whose mission
is to break the cycle of poverty through
care and community development
aimed specifically at orphans and widows. Care projects for women and children include providing food, clothing,
shelter, education, and income opportunities. Community development projects include building schools, housing,
water purification systems, and medical
facilities.
FORM Wealth is an independent
wealth management firm with securities offered through Raymond James
Financial Services, member FINRA/
SPIC. Tyson Ray and Luke
Kuchenberg are the founding partners.
Their office is located at 431 Geneva
National Avenue, South, Lake Geneva.
Jan. 1, 2016
More information may be obtained by
calling (844) 600-3008.
Raymond James is not affiliated
with Children’s World Impact.
By Gilman Halsted
New research conducted by psychologists at University of WisconsinMadison has found that people who
learn to meditate on compassion are
more likely to help someone who is
being treated unfairly.
The subjects in the UW researchers’
study meditated on developing compassion 30 minutes a day for two weeks.
They were then shown a film about sharing a pot of money, and asked to
respond.
“They watch as one person who has
$10 gives an unfair amount of money to
someone who has no money,” said
Helen Wang, an author of the study. “So
they only share maybe $1 or $2.”
Wang said those trained in compassion were more likely to give their own
money to help the person who was
cheated out of his or her fair share than
another group who didn’t receive the
training. She said the results suggest the
training holds promise for people in a
wide range of professions.
“This might be a really powerful
educational tool for any field where your
job is to help people in some way,” said
Wang.
The meditation course is available
online at the UW Center for Healthy
Minds. Weng said the course’s training,
which more than 12,000 people have
downloaded since the research began, is
based on Buddhist practices that have
been used by monks for centuries.
Weng is a clinical psychologist and a
postdoctoral scholar at At the University
of California, San Francisco. She
worked on the study with Richard
Davidson, who founded the Center for
Investigating Healthy Minds. Davidson
said training people to nurture their natural capacity for compassion “can dramatically impact the climate and interactions that ensue in everyday life, including in education, health care and the
workplace.”
“Through patient education based
on evidence-based medicine and
osteopathic principles, I strive to
develop goal-oriented wellness
plans for today and the future
during each patient encounter.”
Kamil Krukowski, DO
Family medicine
Mercy Health System welcomes Dr. Krukowski to
the staff of Mercy Lake Geneva Medical Center,
where he joins family medicine physician, Gary
Myron, MD, and podiatrist, Mark Pfeifer, DPM.
Dr. Krukowski speaks fluent Polish.
His special interests include:
• COPD (chronic obstructive pulmonary disease)
• Diabetes
• High blood pressure
• High cholesterol
• Osteopathic manipulative medicine
• Preventive care
• Smoking cessation
• Sports physicals
• Weight loss
• Wellness exams for all ages
Mercy Lake Geneva Medical Center
350 Peller Rd.
Lake Geneva, WI 53147
(262) 249-0221
The Beacon
Health Through Chiropractic
By Dr. Bernice Elliott
Community Chiropractic Center
Now that winter has reached
Walworth County, the daunting task of
snow shoveling
is upon us.
Shovel-ing is
hard work and
can cause injury
if not done
properly.
When
it
comes to shoveling,
many
people
don’t
realize
their Dr. Bernice Elliott
physical limitations. It is a very
strenuous activity and can be difficult
even for those in top physical condition.
Here are a few tips to help you avoid
back strain and other injuries.
❄ Shovel early and often. Newly fallen snow is lighter than heavily packed, or
partially melted, snow. Before you begin,
warm up your muscles with 10 minutes
of light exercise.
❄ Push the snow instead of lifting it.
Keep the shovel close to your body.
Space your hands on the shovel; it
increases your leverage.
❄ If you must lift the snow, lift it
properly. Squat with your legs apart,
knees bent
and back straight. Lift with your legs. Do
not bend at the waist. Scoop small
amounts of snow into the shovel and
walk to where you want to dump it.
❄ Do not throw over your shoulder or
to the side. This action requires a twisting
motion that stresses your back.
❄ See what you are shoveling. Do not
let a hat or scarf block your vision. Watch
out for ice patches and uneven surfaces.
Avoid falls by wearing shoes/boots with
slip resistant soles.
❄ Use a shovel that feels comfortable
for your height and strength. Avoid a
shovel that is too long or too heavy.
❄ Pace yourself. Shoveling snow is
an aerobic activity comparable to
weightlifting. Take frequent breaks and
replenish fluids to prevent dehydration,
which affects muscles. Never move deep
snow all at once; do it piecemeal. Shovel
an inch or two, then take off another inch.
Rest and repeat if necessary.
Community Chiropractic Center is
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Jan. 1, 2016 — 11
The people along the way
By Marjie Reed
As I’m thinking about the New Year,
and trying to remember to put 2016 on
my correspondence, I can’t help but
review 2015.
My husband and I watched a fascinating movie the
other night that
has caused us to
remember not
only the personal
and
family
events of 2015,
but the movie
caused us to
think of the people who helped
us along the way
in 2015.
Marjie Reed
The movie is
entitled,
“Miracle of the White Stallions,” by Walt
Disney productions. It is about the
efforts of many everyday people who
helped save the great Lipizzan horse
breed after their capture by the Nazis
during WWII.
In case the Lipizzaners, as they are
also called, are not familiar to you, it is a
line of horse that is so outstanding that
its use and enjoyment had been strictly
limited to the nobility.
According to The Horse Gazette,
“the primarily pure white horses represent 400 years of strict breeding.
[Lipizzans] not only possess beauty and
nobility, but also are a combination of
courage, strength, ability, temperament,
and intelligence.”
Amazingly, the horses are born black
then gradually turn white between ages
four and seven. Their performance training begins at age four, they reach maturity at about age 10 and can perform for
more than twenty years, usually with the
same trainer.
The horses are famous for their precision moves and incredible jumping
prowess. These amazing animals often
live 35 years and beyond.
Some of the Lipizzan horses from
Vienna’s famed Spanish Riding School
were captured by the Nazis, while other
Lipizzans were evacuated.
It’s important to note that without the
people along the way doing their part,
the captured Lipizzans would have no
doubt been fed to the Nazi troops, thus
eradicating this superb breed from the
face of the earth.
General Patton and the American
Army performed what they called,
“Operation Cowboy,” rescuing the 150
captured Lipizzan mares, foals and stallions and returning them to the director
of the school.
It took the action of our army and
some everyday people along the way, to
save this marvelous breed.
(By the way, there is a Lipizzan sta-
ble called Tempel Farms in Wadsworth,
Ill., if you care to know more about these
prized animals).
Now we return to the year 2016 and
you are probably wondering how the
rescue of some horses in WWII fit in
with a New Year’s column.
Patton and his men were given accolades for the rescue, and the director of
the Vienna Riding School said these men
surely deserved praise; however, it was
all the people along the way that did
their part during the evacuation of the
horses that were just as important as the
U.S. Army.
That phrase, the people along the
way, made me think back to 2015 and
the people who helped me or my family
along our way.
Who were the people along the way
who helped your family in 2015?
Maybe someone bought you a cup of
coffee and took a few minutes to just listen on a day they knew you were discouraged. Maybe a neighbor shoveled
your walk on a cold, snowy day. Maybe
someone prayed for you when the world
seemed to be closing in. Maybe someone texted, emailed or called with something funny or encouraging for you.
Maybe a stranger helped you the day
you locked your keys in the car – along
with your cell phone. Maybe a friend
babysat for you at the last minute.
Maybe a neighbor stopped by to laugh
and pass the time of day. Maybe someone came to encourage you in the hospital. Maybe a neighbor child waved to
you and smiled on his or her way home
from school, brightening your day.
On the other hand, YOU probably
were the person along the way who
helped others in 2015. You might not
remember all you did, but rest assured
those who received your kindness, surely do.
Dear God,
In 2016, help us to teach our kids, by
example, how to be the person along the
way (or the family along the way) for
others. Help our kids to become aware
of those who need help; then nudge us to
set a bit of time aside to fill that need as
we can.
Please remind us that we all have 24
hours in our day and it is up to us how
we use them, and how we teach our kids
to use them.
Give us the wisdom as parents and
grandparents to build a strong breed of
young people who care about others and
want to make it their goal in life to be the
person along the way for others in 2016
and beyond. Amen.
Marjie Reed lives in Harvard, Ill.,
with her husband, Bob. They have been
married nearly 45 years and have three
children and eight grandchildren.
Contact Marjie at [email protected].
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12 — The Beacon
Milwaukee gun homicides
have soared during 2015
By Chuck Quirmbach
On New Year’s Eve, a Milwaukee
block watch captain named Gayle says
that she, along with her friends and family, will be celebrating the holiday in the
basement of her home.
It’s a question of safety: There are a
lot of gunshots in her neighborhood, she
says, and bullets have struck the main
floor of her house several times.
“I’m tired of going into the basement,” said Gayle, who didn’t provide
her last name in the interest of her own
safety. “I’m sick and tired of going into
the basement on New Year’s Eve.”
This year in particular, the gun homicide total in Milwaukee has soared: The
city has reported that 117 people have
been shot to death, an increase of about
35 over last year at this time.
The shootings have left some scared,
the police chief upset, and the city’s
mayor hoping that promises from
President Barack Obama’s administration will be kept.
The Police Response
Gayle said she’s appealed to the
police for more help.
“I ask for police presence in my
neighborhood to cut down on the senselessness,” she said. “I feel if they ride
through my neighborhood, the ones who
are doing these things will be more cautious.”
Milwaukee police say they’ve been
very active against guns, and have taken
steps like assigning more officers to violence-plagued neighborhoods and using
technology called ShotSpotter to
respond more quickly to gunfire. They
also say they’ve conducted mass arrests
of drug dealers linked to gun violence.
Then, there are the department’s
efforts to perhaps reduce violence by
taking small steps toward addressing
poverty – “when want is felt most keenly,” in the words of Milwaukee Police
Chief Ed Flynn. Flynn paraphrased the
line from Charles Dickens’ “A
Christmas Carol “ when he held a news
conference highlighting police delivering donated food to some low-income
families in the city.
When asked about this year’s
increase in gun deaths, along with the
hundreds of other nonfatal shootings in
the city, Flynn broke down the numbers.
“What I can report is that our robbery-related homicides are down significantly compared to last year, but those
homicides that resulted from arguments,
fights and retaliation among those people that have significant criminal records
is up over 100 percent,” said Flynn.
“That by itself is driving this homicide
total.”
Flynn said another factor is there are
more guns on the street than during any
time in his eight years as chief, along
with weaker gun laws that include, he
said, the state statute allowing the concealed carry of guns.
The Question Of Policy
Flynn declined comment, for now,
on the expectation that President Obama
will issue an executive order on guns
within the next few weeks. Milwaukee
Mayor Tom Barrett, on the other hand,
said he’s glad the president appears
ready to act.
The mayor said closing loopholes in
the background check requirement for
gun purchases would help Milwaukee,
noting that the checks aren’t required for
firearms purchased at gun shows or
online.
“That’s something that’s very, very
important, because those are oftentimes
the guns that we fear will end up in the
hands of criminals,” said Barrett.
Conservatives in Congress are
already trying to block any executive
action by the president, and Gov. Scott
Walker and other Republicans in
Wisconsin maintain the better approach
is to address community mental health
problems and tighten national security.
Retired Milwaukee County Judge
James Gramling, however, argues that
people who don’t live close to gun violence underestimate the need for
stronger action, because they underestimate the economic impact on those who
are wounded and other survivors.
“For these victims, there are months,
maybe years of anguish, both mental and
physical,” said Gramling. “There are
medical costs not covered by insurance.
There are lost earnings.”
Gramling asserts that gun control
advocates have to work harder to show
that everyone pays for gun violence –
especially, he said, in a year such as this.
Jan. 1, 2016
Serving turkey dinner with all the trimmings at the American Legion Hall, 111
S. 2nd St. in Delavan on Dec. 25 are (from left) Heather Palenske, Dr. John Howland
and Mike Palenske. The dinner was courtesy of the Delavan American Legion. Post
95. (Beacon photo)
“My goal is to provide the very
best in dermatology care in a
way that is supportive and
empowering to my patients.”
Kevin M. Burns, PA-C
Dermatology physician assistant
Mercy Walworth Dermatology is happy to welcome
Kevin Burns, PA-C, to its staff. He joins board certified
dermatologist Marguerite Compton, MD, in providing
exceptional dermatologic care.
Kevin’s areas of special interest include:
• Moles
• Acne
• Skin surgery
• Eczema
• Rashes
• Psoriasis
• Fungal infections • Warts
• General dermatology
• Skin cancer
For more information, contact:
Email: [email protected]
Director: Shawn Davenport (262) 245-7930
Mercy Walworth Hospital and Medical Center
Hwys. 50 and 67
(262) 245-0535 or toll-free (877) 893-5503
Mercy Walworth Hospital and Medical Center | Hwys. 50 and 67 | Lake Geneva, WI
MercyHealthSystem.org
The Beacon
Jan. 1, 2016 — 13
Meet Your Friends
at Geneva Crossing!
Lake Geneva’s
Premier 55+ Neighborhood
The Terraces & Highlands
Active Senior Living 55+
Arbor Village & Village Glen
Assisted Living and
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Kamil Krukowski, DO
“By offering a team approach to optimizing
and maintaining health, I find my relationships
with my patients grows quickly. And a great
relationship with patients starts with a
trusting and caring health care provider …
I strive to provide that type of care
with every visit.”
Dominic B. Draper, MD, MBA
Family medicine
Mercy Health System welcomes Dr. Draper to the
family medicine physician staff of Mercy Walworth
Hospital and Medical Center.
Mercy physician
to offer free
screenings
in January
During the month of January, family
medicine and primary care physician
Kamil Krukowski, DO, is offering free
health screenings at Geneva Lakes
Family YWCA, 203 S. Wells St., Lake
Geneva. An additional appointment can
be made if treatment is sought.
Bone density screenings, January 9,
8-10 a.m.
• Blood sugar screenings, January
16, 8-10 a.m.
• Body fat analysis screenings,
January 23, 8-10 am
Appointments are not required.
Availability on first come, first served
basis.
His special interests include:
• Arthritis management
• Asthma management
• Diabetes management
• High blood pressure management
• Men’s health
• Preventive medicine
• Sports medicine
• Veteran care
N2950 State Rd. 67
Hwys. 50 and 67
(262) 245-0535 • (877) 893-5503
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Pastor
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Services at Michael Fields Agricultural Institute, Sundays at 10:00 a.m.
W2493 County Road ES, East Troy WI
CALL (262) 684-5193 • www.goodearthchurchofthedivine.org
14 — The Beacon
Home & Family
Jan. 1, 2016
How often should you clean the air ducts in your home?
By Paul Pogue
A ngie’s List
Many homeowners who’ve hired a
reputable air duct cleaning contractor are
often pleased with the results. While
there’s no scientific evidence to prove that
vent cleaning has a direct and significant
benefit, experts agree there’s some benefit
to having air duct cleaning performed, particularly if you hire a skilled professional.
The National Air Duct Cleaners Association recommends getting your air
ducts cleaned every three to five years. Ed
Mack, owner of Air Duct Profes-sionals in
Lake Elsinore, Calif., says homeowners
should consider doing it every two to five
years, depending on their circumstances.
“How often you need it will depend on
what part of the country you’re in, how
often you use your system, and if anyone
in your home has allergies or asthma,”
Mack says.
The Environmental Protection Agency
recommends cleaning air ducts when:
• You suspect that mold exists in the air
ducts.
• You notice a vermin infestation
somewhere in the home, or you see insects
or rodents entering or exiting ductwork.
• You see a visible “poof” of dust
released from the supply registers when air
is exiting the vents.
Mack recommends taking a look
inside your air vent register.
“If you notice black debris around the
outside, that’s pollutants that have been
recycled through the system over and over
again, and that’s a sign your system is
excessively soiled,” he says. “Also, take a
look at your system when you change your
filter. If there’s a lot of dust buildup in that
area, that’s another sign you’re overdue for
a cleaning.”
Most experts, including the EPA, have
Duct cleaning should be performed at least every five years, depending on
your circumstances.
(Photo by Eldon Lindsay, Angieʼs List)
not endorsed air duct cleaning as a remedy
for health problems, but cleaners say
they’ve amassed a growing body of anecdotal evidence that it does provide some
benefit.
“I’ve had tens of thousands of customers over 26 years that will tell you
they’ve enjoyed the benefits of air duct
cleaning to their environment,” says
Michael Vinick, NADCA president.
Mack says a proper air duct cleaning
will help with the biggest causes of respiratory problems. “If you have asthma, your
number one enemy is dust mites,” he says.
“And for people with allergies, pollen and
dander are a big problem. These are microscopic elements you can’t see with the
naked eye, and they’re commonly found in
air ducts. A good cleaning will remove a
lot of them.”
However, NADCA standards caution
that these elements will only be removed
by a thorough cleaning that addresses
every part of the system that air moves
across, not just the air ducts.
“A good cleaner is going to use a negative air machine and a rotary brush
cabling system,” Mack says. “The brush
goes through the ducts and knocks the
debris loose, and the negative air machine
vacuums it away.”
NADCA says homeowners should
clean air ducts under these circumstances:
• Every three to five years. Be wary of
a contractor who suggests more frequent
cleanings.
• When you move into a new home,
unless you know the previous homeowner
serviced the air ducts within the last three
years.
• After building a new home. It’s likely the ducts have built up debris from drywall dust and other materials used during
the construction phase.
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• After completing a home remodeling
project. Construction projects spread sawdust throughout the home, and unless you
go to lengths to protect the ducts, the dust
will extend into the ductwork.
• If you have pets in the home that shed
fur and dander. Duct cleaning and effective home cleaning practices can help to
prevent it from spreading throughout the
home.
Professionals warn homeowners to
avoid air duct cleaning scams and stay
away from excessively cheap specials that
seem too good to be true.
“You don’t want to go with the ‘$49
bandits,’” Mack says. “These are less reputable contractors who will use the very,
very low price to get into your house and
then keep piling on the extra charges.”
Keep these points in mind when hiring
an air duct cleaning company:
• A good duct cleaning costs between
$400 and $1,000 and addresses every
aspect of the system that air passes over,
including the furnace, air coils and central
system. Good cleaners will use negative
air machines with HEPA filters.
• It should take a few hours. An air
duct cleaner who’s in and out in less than
an hour probably didn’t do a good job.
• Many quality ductwork cleaners use
truck-mounted, outside vacuum systems
that contain dust and debris outside the
house.
• Ask whether they follow the standards set by the National Air Duct
Cleaners Association.
(Paul Pogue is a reporter at www.angieslist.com, a trusted provider of local consumer reviews and an online marketplace
of services from top-rated providers.)
©2015 Angie’s List
Distributed by Tribune Content
Agency, LLC.
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18 Geneva St. • Williams Bay, WI • 262-245-2444
734 Main St. • Lake Geneva, WI • 262-248-2444
www.clearwaterssalonanddayspa.com
N. 798 Swamp Angel Road, Walworth, WI
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(1 mile east of Lake Lawn Resort)
6 N. Wisconsin St., Darien, WI
262-882-2337
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Phone 262-723-7945 • Fax 262-723-7945
your feed nʼ seed is our business indeed!
641 N. Lincoln Street, Elkhorn
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MONEY AND JOBS
4747 E. US Hwy 14 • Janesville, WI • 608.741.9900
Southeast Wisconsin’s #1 Independent Newspaper
(262) 245-1877
[email protected]
www.readthebeacon.com
P.O. Box 69 • Williams Bay, WI
If you don’t patronize your local merchants, one of these days you might find they’re no longer in business.
And then you’ll have to drive twenty, thirty, or fifty miles to shop...and get service. Don’t be short-sighted. It’s in your best interest to patronize Independently Owned Businesses.
January can be a slow time of year for many businesses. Please spend a little LOCALLY.
The Beacon
White River County Park to get
new bridges, other improvements
In February 2014, the Geneva Lake
Conservancy engaged with Walworth
County government to help make the
White River County Park a special natural area. The park, consisting of 195
acres with approximately 9,200 linear
feet of shoreline along the White River,
is located at the intersection of Short and
Sheridan Springs roads in Lyons
Township.
Support included developing a landmanagement plan for the woods,
streams, and prairies that would guide
the restoration of the property to its natural state and make the property more
educational and desirable by the public.
The plan document was completed in
March, and implementation is well
under way.
Implementation of the plan is being
realized through the efforts of county
government and the new Friends of
White River County Park. Since its
inception last November, the Friends
group has held work days and raised
funds for park improvements.
The improvements wish list includes
Jan. 1, 2016 — 15
phased prairie/grassland restoration, a
canoe launch, picnic shelter, barn renovations, and two arched wooden bridges.
The bridges represent a critical component of the improvement plan, as they
provide access to the portion of the park
located south of the river.
Shortly after formation, the Friends
group received an offer to fund the construction of one of the bridges. The
Conservancy, in support of the Friends,
became the conduit for funding the project.
During the planning and bidding
phase of the project, the donors decided
to include both bridges. One is 50 feet
long with two 30-foot approaches, and
the other is 60 feet long with two 80-foot
approaches. [They aren’t the Brooklyn
Bridge, but they aren’t chopped liver,
either].
The bridges will span the river at two
locations identified in the master plan.
The design will provide clearance for
canoes and kayaks to pass underneath,
and minimal environmental impact will
occur during construction.
Mathew Brady took this photographic portrait of Pres. Abraham Lincoln in
1864.
(Wisconsin State Historical Society)
This bridge is similar to the two bridges that will be built at White River County
Park.
(Photo furnished)
WILLIAMS BAY’S
LOCAL GROCER
• LIQUOR • BEER • WINE
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(262) 245-1901
Open 7 days a week • 6:00 a.m. to Midnight
President Lincoln’s little kindness
At the start of the Civil War, many
Wisconsin residents criticized Abraham
Lincoln for exceeding the constitutional
authority of the President. Many even
sympathized openly with the South.
Loyal Republicans chose Professor
Damon Kilgore, head of Evansville
Seminary, to travel to Washington and
warn Lincoln about the presence of traitors in the North.
Professor Kilgore may have been
among frontier Wisconsin’s elite, but he
was not well-acquainted with the manners of polite society back east. Invited
to lunch at the White House, he found
himself seated right beside President
Lincoln. Feeling painfully nervous,
Kilgore nevertheless made it through
most of the meal without embarrassing
himself.
But when the luncheon was nearly
finished, a small bowl filled with water
and a slice of lemon was placed before
him. Finger bowls, used for dipping and
cleaning the hands after a meal, had just
come into vogue in America and Kilgore
had never seen one. He assumed it was
lemonade.
Before the professor could commit
the faux pas of drinking it, Lincoln
leaned over and whispered discreetly,
“Don't sip out of that bowl. Watch me.”
The President then casually demonstrated its proper use and Kilgore was spared
public humiliation. Later, when they
were meeting alone, Lincoln confessed
that he himself “needed a servant to
keep him informed about those little
things.”
The editor who printed that recollection nearly 60 years later admitted that,
“we cannot vouch for the truth of the
story.” But as the old saying goes, if it’s
not true, it ought to be.
This and many other fascinating stories about history in Wisconsin are available on the website of the Wisconsin
Historical Society, www.wisconsinhistory.org.
DO YOU WISH TO PROTECT YOUR LAND FOREVER
AND LEAVE A LEGACY FOR YOUR CHILDREN?
CONTACT THE CONSERVANCY TODAY
P.O. Box 588 • 398 Mill Street • Fontana, WI 53125
262-275-5700 • www.genevalakeconservancy.org
The Conservancy is a 501(c)3 not-for-profit organization supported by contributions and community volunteers
16 — The Beacon
Shorewest REALTORS®
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Jan. 1, 2016
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Rauland Agency
Shorewest-Delavan
830 E. Geneva Street
Delavan, WI 53115
www.shorewest.com
Richard Geaslen
Broker Associate, GRI
OFFICE: (262) 248-1020
DIRECT: (262) 248-5564 ext. 161
CELL: (262) 949-1660
[email protected]
www.rgeaslen.shorewest.com
Richard Geaslen
623 Main Street
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262-745-5439
Members of the Fontana Garden Club Memorial Day Plant Sale Committee for 2016 are (from left) Francine
Jacobs, Carole Townsend, Marilyn Oliak, Vera Mauer, Joan Tierney, Germaine Hehr-Stodiek, Sue Vandenbroucke, Gail
Hibbard, co-chair Linda Franz, Doloris Panzer, co-chair Sally Ratay, Claudia Garber, Barb Riley and Betty Benedetto.
Committee members not pictured are Lynn Latig, Karlyn Armstrong and Kristine Barrera. The Christmas dinner meeting was held at the Abbey Springs clubhouse on December
(Beacon photo)
shorewest.com
The Beacon
Westwords APL
At its high point, it was claimed that 52
million Americans – approximately half of
the country's population – lived in communities in which the APL maintained an
active presence.
The national headquarters of the APL
was established in Washington, D.C., with
Briggs installed as the Chairman of the
governing National Board of Directors.
In addition to its regular geographically-based network, the APL attempted to
organize secret units inside factories producing clothing and war materiel, with a
view to identification of those advancing
“discouraging disloyalty” or engaging in
pro-German activities. Suspects would be
reported within the APL organization,
which would then make use of its broader
network in the community to investigate
the activities of these people after working
hours, if it was deemed to be necessary.
Teams of APL members conducted
numerous raids and surveillance activities
aimed at those who failed to register for
the draft and at German immigrants who
were suspected of sympathies for
Germany.
APL headquarters and the Justice
Department in Washington often lost control over field operations, to the point that
U.S. Attorneys and BOI agents, assisted by
cadres of volunteers from the APL and
other similar patriotic auxiliaries, pursued
suspects of disloyalty on their own initiative and in their own manner.
APL members “spotted violators of
food and gasoline regulations, rounded up
draft evaders in New York, disrupted
Socialist meetings in Cleveland, broke
strikes, [and] threatened union men with
immediate induction into the army.”
In the most extraordinary cooperative
action, thousands of APL members joined
authorities in New York City for three days
of checking registration cards. This resulted in more than 75,000 arrests, though
fewer than 400 of those arrested were
shown to be guilty of anything more than
failing to carry their cards. APL agents,
many of them female, worked undercover
in factories and attended union meetings in
hope of uncovering saboteurs and other
enemies of the war effort.
APL members were accused of acting
as vigilantes, allegedly violating the civil
liberties of American citizens, including
so-called “anti-slacker raids” designed to
round up men who had not registered for
the draft. The APL was also accused of
illegally detaining citizens associated with
anarchist, labor, and pacifist movements.
An APL report on its actions in the
Northwest for five months in 1918 showed
that among its 25 activities, its largest
effort (some 10 percent of its activity), was
in disrupting the International Workers of
the World union’s activity. Some IWW
members had been involved in violent
labor disputes and bomb plots against U.S.
businessmen and government officials. In
turn, the IWW alleged that APL members
burgled and vandalized IWW offices and
harassed IWW members.
During World War I, the APL was
joined by many similar “secret societies”
and groups formed by civilians to fight
against foreign infiltration and sabotage.
The “Anti Yellow Dog League” was a similar organization composed of school boys
over the age of ten, who sought out disloyal persons. Such leagues and societies
branched across the nation.
“Used as private eyes by overzealous
prosecutors in thousands of cases, members of the APL were furnished with ample
government resources. The APL had an
intelligence division, in which members
were bound by oath not to reveal they were
secret policemen. Members of the APL
read their neighbors’ mail and listened in
on their phones with government approval.
“In Rockford, Ill., the army asked the
APL to help extract confessions from
black soldiers stationed at Camp Grant
who had been accused of assaulting white
women. The APL’s American Vigilante
Patrol cracked down on ‘seditious street
oratory.’
“One of its most important functions
was to serve as head crackers against
‘slackers’ who avoided conscription. In
New York City, in September 1918, the
APL launched its biggest slacker raid,
rounding up fifty thousand men. Twothirds were later found to be innocent of all
charges. Nevertheless; the Justice
Department approved. The assistant attorney general noted, with great satisfaction,
that America had never been more effectively policed.
“In 1917 the APL had branches in
nearly six hundred cities and towns with a
membership approaching a hundred thousand. By the following year, it had exceeded a quarter of a million.
“One of the only things the layman
still remembers about this period is a
vague sense that something bad called the
Palmer Raids occurred – a series of unconstitutional crackdowns, approved by
President Wilson, of ‘subversive' groups
and individuals.’ What is usually ignored
is that the raids were immensely popular,
particularly with the middle-class base of
the Democratic Party.
“Attorney General A. Mitchell Palmer
was a canny progressive who defeated the
Republican machine in Pennsylvania by
forming a tight bond with labor. He had
hoped to ride the popularity of the raids
straight into the Oval Office, and might
have succeeded had he not been sidelined
by a heart attack.
“Vigilantism was often encouraged
and rarely dissuaded under Wilson's 100
percent Americanism. How could it be
otherwise, given his own warnings about
the enemy within? In 1915, in his third
annual message to Congress, he declared,
‘The gravest threats against our national
peace and safety have been uttered within
our own borders. There are citizens of the
United States, I blush to admit, born under
other flags...who have poured the poison
of disloyalty into the very arteries of our
national life; who have sought to bring the
authority and good name of our
Government into contempt, to destroy our
industries wherever they thought it effective for their vindictive purposes to strike
at them, and to debase our politics to the
uses of foreign intrigue.’”
This is the same Woodrow Wilson who
declared that the overtly racist movie,
“Birth of a Nation” was one of the greatest
films ever made. It was under his direction
that the federal government, including the
Post Office Department, was segregated.
“Four years later the president was still
convinced that perhaps America's greatest
threat came from ‘hyphenated’ Americans.
‘I cannot say too often – any man who carries a hyphen about with him carries a dagger that he is ready to plunge into the vitals
of this Republic whenever he gets ready. If
I can catch any man with a hyphen in this
great contest I will know that I have got an
enemy of the Republic.’
“This was the America Woodrow
Wilson and his allies sought. And they got
what they wanted. In 1919, at a Victory
Loan pageant, a man refused to stand for
the national anthem. When ‘The StarSpangled Banner’ ended, a furious sailor
shot the ‘disloyal’ man three times in the
back. When the man fell, the Washington
Post reported, ‘the crowd burst into cheering and handclapping.’ Another man who
refused to rise for the national anthem at a
baseball game was beaten by the fans in
the bleachers.
“In February 1919 a jury in Hammond,
Ind., took two minutes to acquit a man
who had murdered an immigrant for
yelling, ‘To Hell with the United States.’
In 1920 a salesman at a clothing store in
Waterbury, Conn., received a six-month
prison sentence for referring to Lenin as
‘one of the brainiest’ leaders in the world.
Mrs. Rose Pastor Stokes was arrested,
tried and convicted for telling a women's
group, ‘I am for the people, and the government is for the profiteers.’
“Wisconsin Republican anti-war progressive Robert La Follette spent a year
fighting an effort to have him expelled
from the Senate for disloyalty because
he’d given a speech to the Non-Partisan
League opposing the war. The Providence
Journal carried a banner – every day –
warning readers that any German or
Austrian ‘unless known by years of association should be treated as a spy.’ The
Illinois Bar Association ruled that members who defended draft resisters were not
only ‘unprofessional’ but ‘unpatriotic.’
“German authors were purged from
libraries, families of German extraction
were harassed and taunted, sauerkraut
became ‘liberty cabbage,’ and – as Sinclair
Lewis half-jokingly recalled—there was
talk of renaming German measles ‘liberty
measles.’
This may seem ridiculous, but when
France refused to join the United States
and its allies in invading Iraq, the United
States Congress dining room changed the
name of french fries on its menus to
‘Freedom Fries.’ The more things change,
the more they stay the same.
“Socialists and other leftists who agitated against WW I were brutalized. Mobs
in Arizona packed [IWW union agitators]
into cattle cars and left them in the desert
without food or water. In Oklahoma, opponents of the war were tarred and feathered,
and a crippled leader of the Industrial
Workers of the World was hanged from a
railway trestle. At Columbia University
the president, Nicholas Murray Butler,
fired three professors for criticizing the
war, on the grounds that ‘what had been
wrongheadedness was now sedition. What
had been folly was now treason.’
“At the University of Wisconsin,
renowned economist Richard Ely organized professors and others to crush internal
dissent via the Wisconsin Loyalty Legion.
Anybody who offered ‘opinions which
hinder us in this awful struggle,’ he
explained, should be ‘fired’ if not indeed
‘shot.’ Chief on his list was Robert La
Follette, whom Ely attempted to hound
from Wisconsin politics as a ‘traitor’ who
‘has been of more help to the Kaiser than a
quarter of a million troops.’
“Hard numbers are difficult to come
Jan. 1, 2016 — 17
by, but it has been estimated that during
this period some 175,000 Americans were
arrested for failing to demonstrate their
patriotism in one way or another. All were
punished, many went to jail.”
President Woodrow Wilson knew of
the APL’s activities and had misgivings
about their methods. He wrote to Attorney
General Gregory expressing his concern:
“It would be dangerous to have such an
organization operating in the United
States, and I wonder if there is any way in
which we could stop it?,” he wrote. But he
allegedly deferred to Gregory's judgment
and took no action to curtail the APL.
The APL also worked with the army's
Military Intelligence Division (MID), the
government’s principal investigatory
agency in this period. When the relationship between the APL and the MID
became public early in 1919, the revelations embarrassed Secretary of War
Newton Baker, who tried to end the War
Department’s use of volunteer spies.
After the Armistice with Germany
ended the war, Attorney General Gregory
credited the APL with the defeat of
German spies and propaganda. He claimed
that his Department still required the
APL’s services as enemy nations sought to
weaken American resolve during the peace
negotiations, especially as newly democratic Germany sought kinder treatment
than its predecessor government might
have expected.
Alexander Mitchell Palmer succeeded
Gregory as Attorney General on March 5,
1919. Before assuming office, he had
opposed the APL activities. One of
Palmer’s first acts was to release 10,000
aliens of German ancestry who had been
taken into government custody during the
war. He stopped accepting intelligence
gathered by the APL. He also refused to
share information in his APL-provided
files when Ohio Governor James Cox
requested it. He called the APL materials
“gossip, hearsay information, conclusions,
and inferences” and added that ‘information of this character could not be used
without danger of doing serious wrong to
individuals who were probably innocent.”
In March 1919, when some in
Congress and the press were urging him to
reinstate the Justice Department's wartime
relationship with the APL, he told
reporters that “its operation in any community constitutes a grave menace.”
A few months after the Armistice, the
League officially disbanded, even as its
members insisted they could serve as they
had earlier in wartime against America’s
post-war enemies, “these bomb fiends,
Bolsheviki, IWW’s and other fiends.”
The publication of the organization’s
story as “The Web: A Revelation of
Patriotism,” was an attempt to revive its
fortunes. That book by Emerson Hough,
an author of Western novels, called for a
program of “selective immigration, deportation of un-Americans, and denaturalization of ‘disloyal’ citizens and anarchists.”
It said: “We must purify the source of
America's population and keep it pure.”
On June 3, 1919, the Washington Post
called for the revival of the APL to fight
anarchists.
The APL survived as a series of local
organizations under other names, such as
the Patriotic American League (Chicago)
and the Loyalty League (Cleveland). New
Jersey members served as investigators for
New York’s Lusk Committee investigation
of radicals and political dissenters. APL
members continued to provide information
and manpower to the Department of
Justice, notably during the Palmer raids of
January 1920. In the 1920s, the Ku Klux
Klan recruited members from the Southern
branches of the APL. For years following
the war, J. Edgar Hoover’s General
Intelligence Unit in the Justice Department
drew on the APL for information about
radicals.
Today, no such organization exists, but
that doesn’t mean it couldn’t spring up
again if circumstances seemed to warrant.
18 — The Beacon
Jan. 1, 2016
Pet Questions and Answers
Q: In March, we lost Bosco, our
beloved 15-year-old beagle. Our other
beagle, Myah, turned 6 in June. She
grew up with Bosco and kept him
young. They were real pals and loved
and respected each other. A real mush,
Myah wanted nothing more than to give
kisses and be showered with attention,
which she received.
We felt that she was used to having a
companion, so we took our time but
found a rescue puggle and brought
Cooper home in July. He is really more
of a beagle in attitude, and even looks,
but will always be a bit smaller than
Myah.
He is a year-and-a-half old. Initially,
they got along swimmingly, with Cooper
conceding that Myah is the alpha dog,
giving her all the room and respect she
needed. Soon they were sleeping together, wrapped in each others arms.
However, in the past three weeks,
things have changed, and Myah has
become downright nasty toward Cooper.
He is bewildered (as are we) and is starting to keep his distance from her.
Some theories of mine: Myah does
not like the car, never has, and Cooper
loves it. For that reason I take Cooper
with me on my errands every Saturday.
(Is she jealous?)
Both dogs are left in the kitchen
when we are away. Cooper has been
great with not having accidents in the
house, but he opens cabinets and chews
and destroys things, though he is getting
better. I just can't cage him _ I know we
probably should, but he was in a cage
and I don't want to put him back.
Is Myah getting angry about it now
and blaming him that she no longer has
run of the house like she did before he
came?
Last night they were both asleep next
to us. Myah woke up and immediately
snapped at the sleeping Cooper. She
growls and snaps, sometimes for no reason at all that we can see.
Other times, it is because she does
not want to play (which she still does
when she feels like it _ it's just that he
wants to play all the time). We give her
more attention than we ever have, and
sneak her extra treats when Cooper is
not around. Also, she seemed sad before
she got nasty, but now she seems both.
Cooper is just confused.
A: You are overthinking this situation. Myah does not have to love
Cooper, she does not have to like
Cooper, she does not have to admire
Cooper. All she needs to do is not hurt
him physically.
Perhaps Myah did have warmer feelings toward Cooper at one time and, for
whatever reasons, her feelings changed.
But it is not because Cooper likes to
ride in the car or open cabinets. One dog
would never judge another for actions
like those. And while Cooper may be
confused, he also seems accepting of the
situation, and, as long as he is willing to
take her insults on the chin and not cause
any drama of his own, the best thing that
you can do is just keep out of this soap
opera.
Just be sure to respect the status quo.
If Myah snaps at Cooper and there is no
bloodshed, then don’t berate her or
judge her and do whatever it takes so
that both dogs clearly know that Myah is
top dog.
If you give Cooper the idea that perhaps there is a way for him to change
things, then he may just try and do so,
and then you will have bloodshed.
Q: I have a very handsome 3-year-old
golden retriever named Jake. I would
really like it if he slept in his bed. He
prefers the cold hard floor. I’ve tried buying different kinds of beds (his latest is a
memory foam bed), but he never goes on
it. He has no problem taking a nap on the
couch, or lying at the foot of my bed.
Why does he just ignore his bed?
A: Many dogs, just like people, generate a lot of body heat, and it could be
that he feels cooler lying on the floor
rather than curled up in a soft bed. Plus,
goldens are a breed with a very flexible
body structure and thick coat. The floor
doesn’t feel as uncomfortable to him as
it would to a short-haired greyhound or
Great Dane with a very angular and rigid
body. I have never seen a greyhound
choose to sleep on the floor if a couch or
a soft bed is offered. As for Jake, just
keep offering him his beds, and if he
chooses the floor over them, it is not the
end of the world.
Q: We have a 3-year-old, 80-pound
Lab/hound mix that has been living at
our home in the suburbs. Now my
daughter is taking the dog to live with
her in an apartment in New York City. A
dog walker will take the dog out once
during the afternoon, but otherwise the
dog will be alone all day. Do you think
there will be a problem now, and is there
anything we can do make the transition
easier?
A: From what you explained to me, I
don’t think there’s any cause for concern. At three years of age, your dog
most likely has learned everything about
Thereʼs nothing like a lap dog to keep you company while you watch
the big game on TV.
(Photo furnished)
the world she wants to know and will be
content to spend her time dozing most of
the day. The fact that your daughter
arranged to have a dog walker take her
out daily makes all the difference in the
world.
I used to bring my little dogs to my
pet store during the day with me, but my
big dogs had to stay home. Had I
arranged a dog walker for them, they
would have loved it, but they always
seemed content with things as they were.
I think city dogs are happier than suburban dogs anyway. When my dogs were
out of the house, they were in my backyard surrounded by a 6-foot stockade
fence. We had very little time to walk
them about the neighborhood, so they
never had as much environmental
enrichment as I would have liked to give
them.
City dogs, however, get to go about
into the real world at least three times a
day, and every time they do, it’s a new
adventure for them. The smells and
sounds are pure entertainment.
So I don’t think your dog’s move
will be much of an inconvenience for
her, and depending on the dog walker
your daughter hires for the dog, it may
be a move upward in her life.
©2015 Newsday
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The Beacon
Aram Public Library, 404 E. Walworth
Ave., Delavan. Library Hours: Mon. - Thurs.,
9 a.m. - 8 p.m.; Friday, 9 a.m. - 5 p.m.,
Saturday, 9 a.m. - 1 p.m., Sunday 1-4 p.m.
• LEGO Club, Monday, January 4 and 18
at 4 p.m.
• Knit and Crochet Club, Monday,
January 4 and 11 and Wednesday, January 20
and 27 at 6 p.m. For all ages and experience
levels. Take your own project to work on,
share your expertise, and learn from others.
• Health Care Enrollment Assistance,
Friday, Jan. 8 and 22 from 1 to 4:30 p.m.
Local, no-obligation, free health insurance
enrollment assistance is available to help you
understand your Marketplace (ACA or
“Obamacare”), Medicare, BadgerCare, and
health insurance options. Make informed
choices and learn your options. .
• Quilts from the Girls’ Houses, Monday,
January 11 at 1:30 p.m. The Friends are
pleased to welcome Nancy Snyder from The
Stitchery in Delavan. Nancy’s presentation
will feature a continuation of her always well
received “trunk show” showcasing many of
the quilted treasures she and her family have
collected through the years. The event is free,
but please drop by or call 728-3111 in
advance to reserve a seat.
• Adult Craft Night, Monday, Jan. 11 at 6
p.m. Registration required Sign up for a
make-and-take craft. This month it’s a beautiful seasonal paper wreath in wintery colors.
As usual, all materials will be provided.
Don’t forget to register, space is limited.
• Adults, Color Your Cares Away, drop
in between 6 and 7:30 p.m. on Tuesday, Jan.
12. Enjoy a coloring party, the latest stressbusting trend for grown-ups. We will have a
quiet space, beautiful patterns, coloring pencils, and light refreshments while we enjoy a
peaceful evening of coloring. This program
is free to anyone who would like to attend.
We ask that there be no children in the coloring room.
• Book Buzz: Parent-Child Book Club,
Wednesday, Jan. 13 at 4 p.m. A brand new
book club aimed at 8-12 year olds and their
parents will meet the second Wednesday of
every month at 4 p.m. to discuss our chosen
book, have snacks, and engage in an activity
or craft. Parents are invited, but not required,
to participate. This month’s book will be
“Ophelia and the Marvelous Boy” by Karen
Foxlee.
• Pluto: Planet or Not? Thursday, Jan. 14
at 6 p.m. Many people have questioned the
recent removal of Pluto from the traditional
list of nine planets. Retired astronomer
Wayne Osborn will discuss the background
of this change. The talk will be on a nontechnical level suitable for teens and adults.
• Baby to Three, Come Wiggle with Me,
Mondays at 10 a.m. Words and wiggles go
together like peanut butter and jelly in this
special story time/open play/dance party for
babies, toddlers, and their grown-ups. Read,
dance, repeat.
• Tail Waggin’ Tutors with Divot, first
Saturday of each month, at 10 a.m.
Registration is required, so call 728-3111,
ext. 117 to reserve your time slot.
• Tech Tutorials, Wednesdays from 9:30
to 11 a.m. Registration is required. Baffled
by technology? Sign up for a 45-minute oneon-one session with a librarian for assistance
with anything computer related, such as
downloading e-books and audiobooks, filling
out online applications, signing up or managing email, or learning to use Microsoft Office
software. Bring in your own device or use
one of our computers.
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Barrett Memorial Library, 65 W. Geneva St., Williams Bay. Open Mon. and Wed.
9 a.m. - 7 p.m.; Tues., Thurs., Fri. 9 a.m. - 6
p.m.; Sat. 9 a.m. - 4 p.m. Check the library’s
new Web site at www.williamsbay. lib.wi.us/
CHILDREN AND TEEN PROGRAMS
Mondays
LEGOS and Beads, 4 p.m.
Tuesdays
Story Time, 10 a.m. Crafts to follow.
PROGRAMS FOR ADULTS
• Saturday Morning Book Group, second
Saturday of the month, 10 a.m. Read and discuss a new book each month. Jan. 9, “A Quilt
for Christmas,” by Sandra Dallas; Feb. 13,
“Name All the Animals,” by Alison Smith;
March 12, “Go Set A Watchman,” by Harper
Lee.
• What Are Teens Reading? book group
meets the third Monday of the Month at 7
p.m. This group is for parents to read and
review teen books. Stop at the library to pick
from a selection of young adult books.
• Scrabble Club, Wednesdays 10 a.m.noon.
• Knitting Circle: Wednesdays 1-3 p.m.
All skill levels welcome. Bring a project to
work on.
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Brigham Memorial Library, 131 Plain
St., Sharon. Hours: Mon. 10 a.m. - 6 p.m.;
Tues. 12-8 p.m.; Wed. 9 a.m. - 5 p.m.; Thurs.
10 a.m. - 6 p.m.; Fri. 9 a.m. - 5 p.m.; Sat. 9
a.m. - noon. Phone 736-4249.
• Story Time, Wednesdays, 10 – 11 a.m.
A theme will unite a story and a craft.
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Clinton Public Library, 214 Mill St.,
Clinton. Hours: Monday and Friday 8:30
a.m. - 5 p.m.; Tuesday - Thursday 8:30 a.m.
- 7:30 p.m.; Saturday, 8:30 a.m. - 1:30 p.m.
Phone (608) 676-5569.
• Storytimes at the library, Mondays at
10 a.m. for children 3 to 24 months; Fridays
at 10 a.m. for 2-5-year-olds.
• 55+ Tech Desk. A new technology service offers free help to people 55 and older.
Available every other Thursday. Call to register. Free one-on-one help is available for all
ages by appointment.
• Adult book discussion the fourth
Wednesday at 1:30 p.m.
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Darien Public Library, 47 Park Street,
Darien. Hours: Monday - Thursday: 10 a.m.
to 7 p.m., Saturday 10 a.m. to 2 p.m. Closed
Friday and Sunday. Phone: (262) 882-5155.
Web page: www.darien.lib.wi.us.
• Photocopies 10 cents per page. Faxes
sent or received for $1 per page
• Free Wireless access
• Ten computers for patron use at no cost
• Free library cards
• Book Cub for Adults, third Wednesday
of the month at 5:45 p.m.
• Ongoing library book sale: children’s
books for 25 cents; adult paperback books
for 50 cents; adult hardcover books for $1;
and DVDs for $2.
• Wide selection of magazines, music
CDs and DVDs to check out
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East Troy Lions Public Library, 3094
Graydon Ave., East Troy. Hours: Mon. Thurs. 10 a.m. - 7 p.m., Fri. 10 a.m. - 5 p.m.,
Saturday 10 a.m. - 1 p.m. Phone 542-6262.
• Story Time, Fridays, 11 a.m., for ages
18 months – 4 years.
• Lego Club, Thursdays from 3 - 4 p.m.
For more information, call 642-6262.
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Fontana Public Library, 166 Second
Ave., Fontana. Open 9 a.m. - 5 p.m. Monday,
Wednesday, Thursday and Friday, 9 a.m. to 8
p.m. Tuesday and 9 a.m. - 1 p.m. Saturday.
• Happy-to-Be-Here Book Club, third
Thursday of each month, 1 p.m.
• Evening Book Club, third Thursday of
each month, 5:30 p.m., sometimes off-site.
All programs are free and open to the
public unless otherwise indicated. Call 2755107 for more information.
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Genoa City Public Library, 126 Freeman St., Genoa City. Hours: Mon. and Wed.
9 a.m. - 7 p.m.; Tues., Thurs. and Fri. 9 a.m.
- 5 p.m., Saturday 9 a.m. - 1 p.m.
• Story time, Thursday, 10 a.m. for kids
ages 2-5 and siblings.
• Ongoing book sale. Donations of new
or slightly used books, including children’s
books, may be dropped off at the library.
• Lego Club, the first Monday of every
month from 4-6 p.m. All school age children
are welcome.
• February is Food for Fines month.
Help us fill the local food pantry and pay off
your fines at the same time. One nonperishable, not expired, item pays $1 off your overdue library fines.
public unless otherwise indicated. Call 2796188 or email [email protected] for
more information.
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Lake Geneva Public Library, 918 W.
Main St., Lake Geneva. Hours: Mon. - Thurs.
9 a.m. - 8 p.m.; Fri. 9 a.m. - 6 p.m.; Sat. 9
a.m. - 1 p.m. Phone 249-5299 or visit
www.lakegene va.lib.wi.us.
• The Friends of the Lake Geneva Public
Library will hold their Holiday Sale until
Friday, January 8. Sale items will be shelved
on the Friends’ ongoing book sale shelf. The
Friends invite readers to purchase holiday
and gift books from this specially-featured
collection and browse the sale for holiday
gifts. Mass media paperback books will be
sold for fifty cents; hardcover, trade paperback books, and DVDs for two dollars; and
videos and CDs for one dollar, unless priced
otherwise. Angel design bookmarks, from
Fashioncraft’s exclusive Book Lovers
Collection, are also being sold by the Friends
for $5 at the library’s front desk. The bookmark is a silver winged metal angel,
enhanced with cutout details, and topped
with a white cloth tassel attached at the halo.
This holiday gift is packaged in a Book
Lover’s Collection clear topped box and tied
with a white satin ribbon.
Funds raised from the sale make special
projects possible, including youth and adult
programming, on-line book clubs, and new
books, CDs, and DVDs for the library collection.
• Preschool Story Time, every Friday
January 8 through May 29 from 9:30-10 a.m.
Children ages 3-5 years are especially
encouraged to attend this half hour reading
program. However, families and children of
all ages are also invited. Library staff will
read stories that are based on a seasonal
theme. Preschool Story Time may include
singing, dancing, and other participatory
activities.
• Every Thursday January 7 through May
28 from 9:30-10 a.m., the library will host
“Toddler Time” for babies through 2-yearold children. Toddlers are invited to enjoy
stories, rhymes, songs, and play
• Adult Fans of Teen Fiction, a new discussion series on Thursday, Jan. 14 from
6:30-8 p.m. The group will be led by Youth
Services Librarian Sara Soukup. Adults are
encouraged to bring their favorite teen
Jan. 1, 2016 — 19
books, share why they love them, and give
book suggestions to other adults interested in
reading teen books. Refreshments will be
served, and pre-registration is requested at
the library’s front desk. Registrants may also
email [email protected].
• People of all ages are invited to attend
Family Movie Nights to see “Hotel
Transylvania 2,” an all-new monster comedy
adventure, on both Monday, January 18 and
Thursday, January 21 from 6-8 p.m.
Children are encouraged to visit the
library in comfy clothes, bring pillows and
blankets, and relax in front of the Library’s
movie screen. Popcorn will be served.
Family Movie Night is a monthly program
that features family friendly films especially
appropriate for children ages 4-11, accompanied by an adult. However, people of all ages
are welcome to attend at no charge.
• Otaku Club will meet at on Monday,
January 11, from 4-6 p.m. for a special
anniversary festival. Participants are encouraged to dress up as their favorite Anime/
Manga characters, and special Japanese
snacks will be served. No registration is
required Teens are invited to talk about their
favorite Anime and Manga, share their original Manga style artwork, and work with
librarian, Miss Sara, to build the library’s
young adult graphic novel collection. Snacks
will be served. No registration is required.
• The library’s “Play with Science” series
will continue on Tuesday, Jan. 12 from 4:305:30 p.m. Children ages 5-12 are invited to
attend a Playing with Construction
Workshop. Librarian Miss Sara will guide
the children as they build structures with
spaghetti and marshmallows. The library will
provide materials and instructions, and the
children will provide the creativity and ingenuity. No registration is required.
• Computer coaching and basic computer
problem-solving sessions are available at the
library for adults of all ages. Tutors will be
available Tuesdays from 9:30-10:30 a.m. in
the library’s reference room. Computer
coaching is led in a question and answer format by volunteers from Volunteer Connection of Walworth County. It is a one-on-one,
or two or more, training session that covers a
specific technology topic of interest, such as
setting up an email account. This service is
intended for all levels of users who need to
get more comfortable with specific computer
topics, such as using Google. People may
attend an unlimited number of sessions.
Topics covered include: email, Internet,
basic computer set-up, and basic troubleshooting. Topics not covered include:
hardware problems, Adobe Photoshop,
Linux Software, or other specialized, jobrelated software.
Please contact the reference desk staff to
register for a session at 249-5299 at least one
day in advance. Sessions are free.
For more information, call the library at
249-5299 or visit the Library Web site, www.
lakegeneva.lib.wi.us.
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Matheson Memorial Library, 101 N.
Wisconsin St., Elkhorn. Open Monday Thursday 9 a.m. - 8 p.m., Friday 9 a.m. - 6
p.m. and Saturday 10 a.m. - 2 p.m. 723-2678.
• Butterfly Celebration, 10:30 – 11:30
a.m., Saturday, January 9. Brighten the
dark days of winter with butterflies. We’ll
make masks and wings and play fun butterfly games in addition to learning about
these fascinating creatures. All ages welcome.
20 — The Beacon
By Kathi West
Nancy Snider and Carrie Dodge from
The Stitchery will be at Aram Public
Library in Delavan to present “Quilts from
the Girls’ Houses” from 1-3 p.m. on
January 11. This is the girls’ third presentation at the library. The program will be a
continuation of the family’s trunk show
that has been collected though the years
and all the stories about the quilts.
The event is sponsored by the Friends
of the library. I went to their last show and
I really enjoyed it. It’s free but call or stop
at the library to reserve a seat, 728-3111.
The seating is limited. I know, because I
think I got the last available seat last time.
I received the newest Keepsake catalog in the mail on December 28. On the
front it said in big letters “It’s Spring.” I
just had to laugh because it was sleeting,
raining, and snowing, sometimes all at the
same time, with wind gusts up to 50 miles
Jan. 1, 2016
an hour. But I decided that making a
spring, flowery quilt might make it feel as
though winter is not forever.
Think of all the wonderful Valentine,
St. Patrick’s day, Easter and May Day
quilts you could put together during the
winter. I used to go sledding with my boys
and then with my grandsons. I was a pretty good ice skater too. But since I’m getting older I think I’d rather quilt. It’s safer
too. I’ve never broken or sprained anything quilting. So get on your quilting gear
and get sewing.
EVENTS
I’ve put in some AQS quilt shows that
are in warm weather places. Just in case
you find yourself getting away from the
Wisconsin winter. Arizona and Florida
sound like swell places to go. A quilt show
makes it even more inviting.
February 11-14, AQS Quilt Week at
the Phoenix Convention Center in
Phoenix, Ariz., sounds like a great place to
Discussing the upcoming program, ʻQuilts From The Girlsʼ Houses,ʼ at Aram
Public Library in Delavan on Jan. 11 from 1-3 p.m. are (from left) Nancy Snyder and
Carrie Dodge from The Stitchery and Friends of Aram Public Library Friends President
Terri Yanke.
(Photo furnished)
be in February. There will be many workshops, lectures, and special events.
Registration is open now.
February 24-27, AQS Quilt Week in
Daytona Beach, Fla., at Ocean Center, 101
N Atlantic Ave. Another place for snow
birds to go. Registration is open now.
QUILT GUILD MEETINGS
Chocolate City Quilters meet the second Monday of each month at 6:30 p.m. in
the Burlington High School library, 400
McCanna Parkway.
The Crazy Quilt Guild Quilters meet the
second Wednesday of each month at 6:30
p.m. at the First Congregational Church, 231
Roberts Drive in Mukwonago.
The Harvard Village Quilters meet the
third Wednesday of the month at 1 p.m. at
Trinity Lutheran Church 504 East Diggins
Street Harvard, Ill. Visitors are always
welcome.
Quilts of Valor and Quilts of Honor
Quilt Group meets at 6 p.m. on the second Tuesday of the month at Ellen
Weber’s house on Theatre Road. The
next meeting will be on January 12.
Take your sewing machine, fabric to
make a QOV quilt or a quilt that you
have started and any sewing tools you
will need. For more information call
Ellen at 728-3630.
The Scrappers Quilt Guild meets at
6:30 p.m. at the Lion’s field house on Hwy
67 in Williams Bay on the third Tuesday of
the month. The next meeting will be on
January 19. Take your show and tell quilts.
Visitors are always welcome.
If you have some quilting news to
share with quilters in the greater Walworth
County area, e-mail me or mail to P.O.
Box 69, Williams Bay, WI 53191. Make
sure you send it about a month before the
event and I will try to get it into the next
column.
Looking ahead to Valentineʼs Day makes the winter seem shorter. This quilt
was shown at the 2015 Mukwonago Quilt Show.
(Beacon photo)
Tulips on a green, grassy, background bring spring to mind. (Beacon photo)
The Beacon
Plan ahead. Look through the calendar to
make advance reservations for events that
require them. Phone numbers are in area
code (262) unless otherwise indicated. For a
more complete listing of activities at area
businesses, log on to www.visitwalworth
county.com/events. Check Library Notes on
page 19 for the many activities taking place
at area libraries.
SATURDAY, JAN. 2
Kishwauketoe Nature Conservancy
Ninth Annual First Saturday Night of the
New Year Hike, 5-8:30 p.m. Hike followed
by bonfire and complimentary cook-out.
Event will take place in anyweather but rain.
MONDAY, JAN. 4
Black Point Estate Book Club, 10-11:30
a.m., Bragi Cafe, 80 N. Walworth Ave.,
Williams Bay discuss “The Uncertainty of
Everyday Life: 1915-1945,” by Harvey
Green, in which the author recounts an era of
great optimism followed by the shock of The
Great Depression. It was a time of unprecedented change in American culture that
affected such aspects of daily life as employment, home life, gender roles, education,
religion and recreation.
Lakeland Players auditions for the
upcoming production of “The Odd Couple,”
7 p.m. at The Walworth County Performing
Arts Center (former Sprague Theater) downtown Elkhorn. Needed are six male and two
female adults over 18. Call (262) 470-8570.
TUESDAY, JAN. 5
American Red Cross blood drive, 1-6
p.m., Christ Lutheran Church, 228 Martin
St., Sharon.
Tuesdays@2, Geneva Lake Museum,
Geneva Lake Museum, 255 Mill St., Lake
Geneva. No charge for members, $5 for nonmembers. Call 248-6060 for a reservation or
email staff@geneva lakemu seum.org.
BloodCenter of Wisconsin blood drive,
2:30-6:30 p.m., St. Joseph’s Church, 1540
Mills St., Lyons. Donations of all blood types
are needed. Anyone 16 or older who is in
general good health and meets eligibility
requirements is encouraged to donate blood.
Parental consent is required for 16-year-olds
to donate. The entire process takes about an
hour. Donors should take a photo ID that
includes birth date.
Lakeland Players auditions for the
upcoming production of “The Odd Couple,”
7 p.m. at The Walworth County Performing
Arts Center (former Sprague Theater) downtown Elkhorn. Needed are six male and two
female adults over 18. Call (262) 470-8570.
FRIDAY, JAN. 8
Senior Travel Club of Walworth County,
10-11 a.m. at Como Community Church,
W3901 Palmer Road, Lake Geneva. Program
46 YEAR
TH
Ye Olde INHotel
LYONS
(262) 763-2701
Hwy. 36-Halfway between Lake Geneva & Burlington
from Hwy. 50 turn on South Road, 3 miles
LOOK US UP ON FACEBOOK
Open Wed.-Fri. at 4:00 p.m., Sat. & Sun. 11:30 All Day & Evening
WEDNESDAY
CHICKEN or LASAGNA DINNER..$11
ALL-YOU-CAN-EAT WHITEFISH...$11
WITH CUP OF SOUP
THURSDAY
RIBEYE or NY STRIP DINNER.......$15
FILET....................................................$17
FRIDAY
ALL-YOU-CAN-EAT
Whitefish...................................... 10
FISH COMBO PLATTER....................$13
FISH FRY......................................$11
SATURDAY
KING PRIME RIB.........................$27
QUEEN PRIME RIB.....................$23
SUNDAY
TURKEY or PORK DINNER....$12
$
ALL-YOU-CAN-EAT
COUNTRY STYLE PORK RIBS.$12
DAILY
SURF ‘N TURF........................$36
PLUS REGULAR MENU • CARRY-OUTS AVAILABLE
to be presented by Van Galder explaining in
detail their trips planed for 2016. Reservation
deadline Jan. 8, for “Legends In Concerts,”
Wednesday Feb. 17, at The Fireside Dinner
Theatre, Fort Atkinson. Continue to sign up
for Irish Day Milwaukee Trip, Tuesday,
March 8. Call Judy LaBianco 245-6792 with
questions.
SATURDAY, JAN. 9
Kishwauketoe Nature Conservancy volunteer work day, 8 a.m. - noon. We will be
working on the Lakefront project across from
the boat launch area. Refreshments will be
available.
Free bone density screening by Mercy
Health System family medicine and primary
care physician, Kamil Krukowski, DO, 8-10
a.m., Geneva Lakes Family YWCA, 203 S.
Wells St., Lake Geneva. An additional
appointment can be made if treatment is
sought. Appointments are not required.
Availability on first come, first served basis.
MONDAY, JAN. 11
BloodCenter of Wisconsin blood drive,
10 a.m. - 2 p.m., Elkhorn Recreation Center,
200 Devendorf St. or 2-6 p.m. at First
Evangelical Lutheran Church, 415
Devendorf St. Donations of all blood types
are needed. Anyone 16 or older who is in
general good health and meets eligibility
requirements is encouraged to donate blood.
Parental consent is required for 16-year-olds
to donate. The entire process takes about an
hour. Donors should take a photo ID that
includes birth date.
THURSDAY, JAN. 14
BloodCenter of Wisconsin blood drive, 8
a.m. - 6 p.m., Youngquist Orthodontics, 255
Havenwood Dr., Lake Geneva. Donations of
all blood types are needed. Anyone 16 or
older who is in general good health and
meets eligibility requirements is encouraged
to donate blood. Parental consent is required
for 16-year-olds to donate. The entire process
takes about an hour. Donors should take a
photo ID that includes birth date.
Bingo at the American Legion Hall, 111
S. 2nd St., Delavan. Doors open at 5:30 p.m.,
15-game session begins at 6:30. Progressive
session follows. $1 face. Progressive pot
grows until won. $100 consolation prize.
SATURDAY, JAN. 16
Free blood sugar screening by Mercy
Health System family medicine and primary
care physician, Kamil Krukowski, DO, 8-10
a.m., Geneva Lakes Family YWCA, 203 S.
Wells St., Lake Geneva. Appointments are
not required. Availability on first come, first
served basis. An additional appointment can
be made if treatment is sought.
Shipwrecks of Great Lakes and Geneva
Lake, 1-3 p.m., Horticultural Hall, 330 Broad
St., Lake Geneva. More than 750 ships have
been lost in Wisconsin waters. Maritime
Archaeologist Caitlin Zant will discuss some
of her favorites, including the Lucius
Newberry and the original Lady of the Lake;
both on the bottom of Geneva Lake. The program will include photos and video of some
amazing shipwrecks.
~ ~ ~ Ongoing events ~ ~ ~
The Delavan Historical Society, 663 E.
Ann St., at the intersection with Seventh St.
(Highway 50), is open free to the public from
10 a.m. - 2 p.m. on Mondays and Saturdays.
Volunteer work day, fourth Saturday
from 8:30-11:30 a.m. at Kishwauketoe
Nature Preserve, Highway 67, north,
Williams Bay. Meet at the main entrance.
The work location will be posted at the
kiosk. Contact Harold at (262) 903-3601 or
email [email protected] to get on the list.
AARP Local 5310, 9:30 a.m. the fourth
Tuesday of every month (except August and
December) at Peoples Bank, 837 N.
Wisconsin St. Elkhorn. For information, call
Shirley Grant at 473-2214 or email
[email protected].
American Legion Auxiliary meeting, 7
p.m. on the second Monday of each month at
the Legion Hall on Second Street in Delavan.
The group raises money for scholarships and
to send gifts at Christmas time to the servicemen and women that are hospitalized
due to injuries while in combat.
Southern Lakes Masonic Lodge #12,
1007 S. 2nd St., Delavan. Stated meetings
are: July and Aug. fourth Monday only; Dec.,
second Monday only; all other months, second and fourth Mondays at 7 p.m.
Geneva Masonic Lodge #44, 335 Lake
Shore Dr., Lake Geneva. Regularly stated
meetings, second Tuesday, 7 p.m. 725-3062.
Ice Age Trail Alliance, monthly meeting,
third Tuesday of each month 7 p.m. at U.S.
Bank, Elkhorn (Downstairs in the community
meeting room, enter at the back door).
Bingo, second and fourth Thursday of
the month at the Delavan American Legion
hall, 111 S. 2nd St. Doors open at 5:30 p.m.,
a 15-game session begins at 6:30.
Progressive session follows. $1 face, progressive pot grows until it is won. $100 consolation prize.
Bingo, St. Andrew Parish in Delavan.
The games will be played on the first Friday
of the month, except July and August, with
doors opening at 6 p.m. and play starting at 7
See www.standrews-delavan.org.
Civil Air Patrol, Walco Composite
Squadron, meets every Thursday from 6:30
to 8:30 p.m. at the Elkhorn National Guard
Armory, 401 East Fair St., Elkhorn. Visit
www.gocivilairpatrol.com/
or
call
Commander Ronald Sorenson, 751-0677.
Authors Echo Writers group meeting, 7
p.m., first and third Tuesday of every month,
Aurora Hospital, East entrance Burlington.
Puzzle Answers
JUMBLE ANSWERS
Kneel Mirth Throat Plenty
Answer: The circus hired the famous
tightrope walker because he was —
TOP OF THE “LINE”
Kid’s Jumble
Log Size Pill Want
Answer: What flowers grow on your
face? — “TWO-LIPS”
©2015 Tribune Content Agency, LLC.
BOGGLE ANSWERS
RED TAN TEAL
BLUE GRAY BEIGE
WHITE GREEN CRIMSON
©2015 Tribune Content A gency LLC
Jan. 1, 2016 — 21
Call Frank Koneska at 534-6236.
Yerkes Observatory, 373 W. Geneva St.,
Williams Bay. The observatory offers free,
45-minute tours, Saturdays, 10 a.m., 11 a.m.
and noon, as well as night sky observations
for a fee of $25. Visitors may also view the
Quester Museum, which covers some of the
observatory’s history. For more information,
call 245-5555 or e-mail [email protected].
Cards and games, Mondays and
Wednesdays 1 – 4 p.m. Darien Senior Center,
47 Park St., Darien. Call 882-3774.
Senior Card Club, every Thursday 11
a.m .- 3 p.m., Matheson Memorial Library
Community Room, Elkhorn. Bridge, 500,
and other games. Everyone welcome.
Bridge - every Tuesday, 12:30-3:30 p.m.,
Lake Geneva City Hall kitchen. Call 2483536 for more information.
Duplicate bridge, first and third Tuesday
at 7 p.m., The Highlands at Geneva Crossing,
721 S. Curtis St., Lake Geneva. Call Mary or
Dick Koehler at 248-4632 or 374-9164.
~ HEALTH AND FITNESS ~
Mercy Walworth Grief Support Group
provides comfort, guidance and stability in
times of loss. Experts in the field of grief
counseling provide their expertise and compassion when healing is needed. The group
meets on the third Tuesday of every month, 6
p.m. in the lower level conference room A at
Mercy Walworth Hospital and Medical
Center, highways 50 and 67 in the Town of
Geneva. For more information or to reserve a
spot at the next meeting, call (888) 396-3729.
Mercy Walworth’s Stroke Support Group
provides compassionate and understanding
care for those who have experienced a stroke
as well as their caregivers. The group meets
on the second Tuesday of every month at 2
p.m. in the lower level community education
rooms at Mercy Walworth Hospital and
Medical Center, corner of highways 50 and
67.
Cancer Support Group meets in the
church at Chapel on the Hill, 4 miles west of
Lake Geneva on Highway 50, the third
Friday of the month at 3 p.m. For more information, or to receive answers to questions,
call Lou Kowbel at (847) 922-5461.
Alcoholics Anonymous Walworth
County Hotline is 723-1224. Their website is
www.area75.org. Call or check online to get
information about meetings in your area.
Alanon self help program, 6:30 p.m.
Tuesdays, VIP building, 816 E. Geneva St.,
across from Elkhorn High School in Elkhorn.
Mindfulness and Loving kindness
Meditation each Thursday, 7-8 p.m. at
Matheson Memorial Library Community
Center Room, 101 N. Wisconsin St. in
Elkhorn. Beginners and experienced practitioners are always welcome. No registration
is necessary, just drop in. Meditation is practice for being more awake and attentive in
our daily lives. Sponsored by Wisconsin
Blue Lotus, a meditation group led by
Buddhist nun Vimala (Judy Franklin). For
more information, call 203-0120, or visit
www.bluelotustemple.org.
Diabetes Support Group, Tuesdays Aug.
11 and Sept. 8, 6-7 p.m. on lower level of
Aurora Lakeland Medical Center, Highway
NN, Elkhorn. This group is for adults with
insulin or non-insulin dependent diabetes and
their family/support person. The purpose is to
provide support and education to the person
with diabetes to help manage this chronic disease. The group is facilitated by a registered
nurse. Call the diabetic educator at 741-2821
for further information.
Breast Cancer Support Group meets the
first Wednesday of the month at 4 p.m. at
Aurora Lakeland Medical Center, Highway
NN, Elkhorn. The group addresses the fears
and adjustments faced by women with breast
cancer. It encourages participants to develop
a positive attitude about the future and discuss common concerns after being treated for
breast cancer. Contact Leann Kuhlemeyer at
741-2677 for more information.
Stroke Support Group provides emotional support through opportunities to interact
with others who have experienced stroke.
Informational programs will also be provided
on topics related to stroke/brain attack. The
group welcomes individuals newly diagnosed
and those with a history of stroke. Family,
friends and caregivers are also encouraged to
join.
22 — The Beacon
What’s Happening
The group meets the third Monday of every
month from 1-2 p.m. at Aurora Lakeland
Medical Center, lower level conference room.
Call Pat Positano at 741-2402 for further
information.
Walworth County Public Health immunization walk-in clinics, the second
Tuesday from 3-6 p.m. and fourth Tuesday
from 11 a.m. - 2 p.m. at W4051 County Road
NN, Elkhorn. Immunizations available for
uninsured children or children on Medicaid.
Some adult vaccines are available at competitive cost. To check availability of vaccine or
to make an appointment, call Bill FitzGerald
Fleck, RN 741-3133.
Free blood pressure screening, last
Friday of every month, 2 - 4 p.m., Williams
Bay Care Center, 146 Clover St., Williams
Bay.
Narcotics Anonymous meetings in the
southern lakes area. Call (877) 434-4346
(toll free) for times and locations.
Lake Geneva Alzheimer’s support group,
6:30 p.m., third Wednesday of the month. No
meeting in August. Arbor Village of Geneva
Crossing, 201 Townline Road, Lake Geneva.
Call Andy Kerwin at 248-4558.
Alzheimer's/Dementia support group,
third Wednesday of the month at 4 p.m.,
Town Bank Community Center located at
826 E. Geneva Street in Delavan. Call Bob
Holland at (262) 472-0958 or Arlene
Torrenga at 728-6393 with questions.
Alzheimer’s Support Group, first
Thursday of the month, 1:30 p.m.,
Hearthstone/Fairhaven, 426 W. North Street,
Whitewater. Facilitators: Janet Hardt, Pam
Hatfield, 473-8052. Respite care is available
with no advance notice.
Parkinson’s Disease support group, 1
p.m., second Monday of every month, Lower
level conference room, Fairhaven Retirement
Community, 435 W. Starin Road, Whitewater.
Contact Julie Hollenbeck, (414) 469-5530.
NAMI, The National Alliance on Mental
Illness, Support Group, first and third
Wednesday from 6-7 p.m. at Matheson
Memorial Library in Elkhorn. There is a support group for loved ones on the third
Wednesday of the month from 6-7 p.m., followed by by a program with a guest speaker
from 7 - 8 p.m. Call Dan or Jean at 459-2439
for more information.
Huntington's Disease Support Group for
anyone affected by Huntington’s Disease
meets the third Saturday of every month
except June, July, August at Froedtert
Hospital, 9200 W. Wisconsin Ave.,
Milwaukee, lobby level, North Tower Room
2209, from 10:30 a.m.-noon. For more information contact Jean Morack (414) 257-9499
or visit www.hdsawi.org.
Families Anonymous (FA), a 12-Step,
self-help support program for parents, grandparents, relatives, and friends who are con-
cerned about, and affected by, the substance
abuse or behavioral problems of a loved one,
meets every Tuesday evening at 7 p.m. at the
First Congregational United Church of
Christ, 76 S. Wisconsin St., Elkhorn. Enter
through the double glass doors on W. Geneva
St. Parking is available on the street or the
parking lot west of the church. Additional
information may be obtained by calling (262)
215-6893, Maureen at 723-8227 or through
the
Families
Anonymous
website:
www.FamiliesA nonymous.org.
Take Off Pounds Sensibly (TOPS),
weigh-in Tuesdays 8-9 a.m. with meeting
from 9-10, Community Center, 820 E
Geneva St., Delavan. Encourages nutrition
and exercise with a positive attitude. Guests
are welcome, no weekly meeting fee.
Contact Debbie Keizer, 728-4317.
T.O.P.S. (Taking Off Pounds Sensibly)
Tuesdays 9:15 - 10:30 a.m., Community
Center, U.S. Bank, 101 E. Walworth St.,
Elkhorn. Call 723-3791 with questions.
T.O.P.S. (Taking Off Pounds Sensibly)
meets Tuesdays, 1:30-2:15 p.m., Immanuel
Church of Christ, 111 Fremont St.,
Walworth. Group support with self help,
good times. Information: 275-8071.
~ ART, LITERATURE THEATER, MUSIC ~
Milwaukee keyboardist Al White, 4-8
p.m., Sunday, Dec. 27, Ye Olde Hotel in
Lyons. No cover charge. (262) 763-2701.
Pianist Rex Wilkinson, Wednesday and
Sunday nights 6:30-10 p.m. at Mars Resort
on Lake Como’s south shore.
Scott Thomas, karaoke, Fridays from 9
p.m. - 1 a.m., Lookout Room, Lake Lawn
Resort, Highway 50, Delavan
Live Music Fridays 9 p.m. to midnight,
Champs Sports Bar & Grill, 747 W Main St.,
Lake Geneva. No cover charge. Call 248-6008,
or log on to www.foodspot.com/champs.
Karaoke, Saturdays 9 p.m. - close (usually 2 a.m.), Snug Harbor Lakefront
Campground Pub and Restaurant, Highway
A and P (not the food store) Richmond, Wis.
Call (608) 883-6999 or log on to
www.snughar borwi.com for details.
Pianist Tom Stanfield, Thursdays 6-9
p.m. in the music parlor of The Baker House,
327 Wrigley Dr., Lake Geneva.
Brian Fictum, That Sax Guy, from 6-9
p.m. on the 1st, 3rd and 5th Thursdays of the
month, and Acoustic guitar with vocals on
the 2nd and 4th Thursdays of the month at
B.J. Wentkers, 230 Milwaukee Ave., Burlington.
Dan Trudell’s Contemporary Jazz Trio,
Fridays and Saturdays from 5-8 p.m., Lobby
Lounge, Grand Geneva Resort. Trudell also
plays piano every Monday from 5-8 p.m.
“Legends
in
Concert,”
Carrie
Underwood, Neil Diamond, Elton John,
Buddy Holly, Whitney Houston, Elvis
Presley. Now you can see these great stars recreated LIVE onstage at the Fireside Dinner
Theater in Fort Atkinson. Log on to
www.firesidetheatre. com or call (800) 4779505 for schedule, prices and reservations.
Learn about ‘Dick Tracy’ creator
The Geneva Lake Museum will present a special movie night on Thursday,
Jan. 21 at 6 p.m. (snow date Jan. 28).
The movie will be “Chester Gould:
An American Original,” which is a biography of the Woodstock, Ill., artist who
created the Dick Tracy comic strip.
Filmmaker Steve Firak will be on hand
to introduce the film and answer questions afterwards. Refreshments will be
served
The cost is $5 for non-members and
free to museum members. Reservations
are requested. DVD’s will be available
for purchase.
For more information visit these sites:
w w w.ahojproductions.com /aboutus.html, www.ahojproductions.com/
order-the-dvd.html or www.planitnorth
w est.com /2015/02/17/w oodstock nativ es-honor-dick -tracy s-chestergould-w ith-docum entary /apm hja6/?
photo= 2#story.
ELKHORN
ROTARY
7th
ANNUAL
Jan. 1, 2016
Mary and Emory Carlson carefully craft Tom & Jerrys at the American Legionʼs
free Christmas dinner in Delavan on (when else?) Dec. 25.
(Beacon photo)
The Delavan-Darien High School Lydian Choir entertains members of the
Delavan-Darien Rotary Club, who celebrated Christmas at the Brick Street Market on
Dec. 7. The choir, under the direction of Jim Larson, performed a selection of
Christmas songs. (Photo furnished)
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Monte Carlo Room • Elkhorn, WI
TICKETS $25 IN ADVANCE • $30 AT THE DOOR
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Additional tasting can be purchased for $1 each after admission
Tickets available at the door and the following locations:
Elkhorn Chamber of Commerce, Matheson Memorial Library, any Elkhorn Rotarian
The Beacon
Jan. 1, 2016 —23
Night at the Track to resurrect
excitement of greyhound racing
One of the pieces in the Walworth Memorial Library Winter 3D Art Show that
will be on display through Feb. 29. (Photo furnished)
Library hosts 3D art show
The Walworth Memorial Library will
host a 3-D Winter Art Show through
February.
The artwork was made by the 7th and
8th grade art students from Walworth (art
teacher Ted Beauchaine), Fontana (art
teacher Candace Klotz), Reek (art teacher
Lynn Miller), and Sharon (art teacher Tess
Seichter) middle schools.
The National Art Honor Society members from the Big Foot High School, Kat
Ahrens, Julia Gilstrap, Clara Gerdes, Alyssa
Zillmer, Maria Olague, Isabel Kinerk, Dana
Sorenson and Kalen Gillinham and their
advisor, Big Foot High School art teacher
Miss Hookhan, placed all the pieces in the
library and then the NAHS members judged
the works.
“The artwork is truly amazing and inspiring,” said Hookham. “There are so many talented artists in the show that the judging was
extremely difficult.”
All the pieces displayed have the student’s name and award attached.
On January 23, the memories and
excitement of greyhound racing return
to Wisconsin as United Greyhound
Racing presents Night at the Track, a
unique racing event like no other.
Hosted by legendary race announcer Jeff
Mergen, the event at Bristol Oaks
Country Club in Bristol will feature the
BetAmerica Daytona 550, greyhound
racing’s national championship, with all
proceeds going to Greyhound Pets of
America-Wisconsin to help fund greyhound adoption.
Night at the Track was created by
United Greyhound Racing member J.J.
Steinhoff of Kenosha, who attended the
inaugural BetAmerica Daytona 550 in
Florida on January 24, 2015 and said the
atmosphere there reminded him of the
Wisconsin tracks in their heyday.
When the 2016 BetAmerica Daytona
550 was announced in April, Steinhoff
asked the United Greyhound Racing
Board of Directors about having an
event in Wisconsin to promote the race,
similar to what other establishments
have done for years with the Kentucky
Derby in horse racing.
After receiving approval and funding, Steinhoff signed up Jeff Mergen, the
longtime track announcer at Geneva
Lakes Kennel Club in Delavan, who will
call each race at Daytona Beach Kennel
Club live for an at-the-track experience
and will also serve as master of ceremonies for the evening.
Jeff says he is looking forward to
resurrecting his famous “HERE
COMES BUCKY” before the start of
each race and will also share some of his
memories from Geneva Lakes Kennel
Club with those in attendance.
Tickets for the event are $35 and
include a chef carved buffet, live greyhound racing from Daytona Beach
Kennel Club on two big screen televisions, an opportunity to meet retired racers, entry into various racing contests
and a special performance by local Rat
Pack artist Jim Namio following the
races.
Some of the prizes that will be given
away are a Weber Grill, Green Bay
Packers jacket, Chicago Cubs windbreaker, Chicago Bears jacket, part
ownership of a racing greyhound (valued at $300), three original 13-inch televisions from the Dairyland Greyhound
Park clubhouse, Bluetooth Speaker, a
framed picture of a Chocolate Lab
Puppy and Rabbit Wine Tool Kit.
The Grand Prize will be the 5-by-9foot custom-made rug depicting greyhounds racing, that hung on the wall in
the Dairyland Greyhound Park VIP
Room from 1990-2009. Valued at more
than $1,000, it is a beautiful one of a
kind piece of Wisconsin racing history.
The rug will be on display at the event
until the winner is drawn.
Tickets for Night at the Track are available online at www.nightatthetrack.com or
by calling J.J. Steinhoff at (262) 914-6787.
All ticket holders will also be eligible to
enter a special greyhound racing and NBA
Fantasy contest that is being set up by
Pickinsider.com specifically for Night at
the Track guests. This is an optional, free
contest and there will be no obligation to
enter.
Tickets for Night at the Track will be
available for purchase until January 18
and will not be sold at the event. Casual
dress will be acceptable.
MONTE CARLO ROOM • 720 N. WISCONSIN ST., ELKHORN
MENU:
Roast Beef, Baked Chicken, Mashed Potatoes, Gravy, Cole Slaw, Vegetable, Rolls and Beverage
TICKETS:
10.00 In Advance • $12.00 At The Door • SENIORS (62 and over) $9.00 In Advance • $10.00 At The Door
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CHILDREN (6-10 yrs.) 6.00 In Advance & At The Door • Children 5 and Under FREE
$
ADVANCE TICKETS CAN BE PURCHASED AT THE ELKHORN CHAMBER OR THROUGH ANY LIONS CLUB MEMBER
PROFITS USED FOR COMMUNITY SERVICE • WWW.ELKHORNLIONSCLUB.ORG
This Five-by-nine-foot rug was custom made for the Dairyland Greyhound Park
in 1990, the year the track opened. It hung on the wall in the VIP lounge from 1990
until 2009. The owners donated it for a grand prize.They are in the process of emptying the building and are going to sell the track to a developer for a future business park.
(Photo furnished)
Call For Your Denture Needs
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24 — The Beacon
Jan. 1, 2016
50 facts about tickets and ticketing, including the Super Bowl
information to upsell you and foster an
ongoing relationship.
10. Promoters say people often buy
tickets based on their “bucket list,” including things like motor races at Daytona and
Talledega.
11. When the Los Angeles Dodgers’
season tickets went digital, angry fans
launched a Facebook campaign: “Bring
Back the Paper Ticket.”
12. Sometimes, you need to pay for the
privilege of buying a ticket: For this year’s
Stanley Cup, Blackhawk fans offered $100
just to access a password to a presale that
would let them get first dibs.
13. NFL teams employ hundreds of
sales assistants who work the phones trying to sell potential ticket-buyers on seats
or even luxury skyboxes.
14. Brokers say Super Bowl ticket
prices on the secondary market historically go down about 40 percent between the
season’s beginning and Super Bowl weekend.
15. The NFL says its ticket security
features “include holograms, custom laser
cutouts, thermachromic ink and a specially made gloss varnish.”
16. Smith says “bad guys” use technology to virtually game the online buying
sites that’s “built specifically for cutting in
line and buying tickets before fans can buy
them.”
17. Ticketing is a $5 billion to $6 billion-a-year industry and Smith says “the
vast majority of that money is not from Joe
Fan reselling on StubHub; it’s pros by and
large who bought those tickets with the
express purpose of using sophisticated
algorithms to resell them.” [What the heck
is an algotithm? Editor.]
18. Tickets for concerts and theater
events generally sell first from the front
and back rows, says Goldstar’s McCarthy.
19. But he adds “often the best values
are in what we in the business call ‘the
mushy middle.’”
20. A key battle for the future of ticketing is unfolding in a San Francisco courtroom: StubHub is suing the Golden State
Warriors and Ticketmaster, alleging the
team unfairly required fans who wanted to
sell their tickets to use only Ticketmaster’s
exchange.
21. Catholic parishes around New
York had to hold drawings to dole out
allotted tickets to see Pope Francis at
REPAIR
A.A. Anderson, Inc.
Madison Square Garden.
22. Strongsville, Ohio, population
44,730, is where the NFL’s random-drawing ticket sweepstakes take place.
23. The NFL will not say how many
actual tickets will be available for Super
Bowl 50 until early this year.
24. Ticketmaster’s Super Bowl staffing
goes from a half-dozen people a year
before the game to several hundred just
before the event.
25. The worst month for ticket sales is
typically July, while December is the best.
26. Alex Burkhart of digital-ticket
exchange Tixers says ushers at sporting
events checking tickets are often the same
ones for several teams because they make
a living by rotating among several teams.
27. Tickets are the tip of an economic
iceberg: A study by Arizona State
University found that the last Super Bowl
had a $720 million impact on the state.
28. For the last Super Bowl, 122,000
visitors stayed an average of four nights.
29. Of those visitors, 63,000 had tickets while 59,000 did not.
30. A ticket is no longer simply a pass
to get into an event – with the increasing
use of smartphone-ticketing, a team or
event sponsor can now essentially track
the user throughout the event, using
iBeacons and location-based technology to
provide services like parking or sell them
food and merchandise.
31. Ticketmaster’s first-ever Internet
ticket sale occurred in 1996 for the Seattle
Mariners.
32. As of Sept. 22, there were 68 Super
Bowl 50 tickets being advertised on TiqIQ,
ranging from $3,979 to $5,490.
33. Some estimates say as many as 70
million tickets for sporting events in the
United States go unused each year.
34. Ticketmaster says about two-thirds
of millennials buy their live-event tickets
on their smartphones and are 31 percent
more likely to do so than their non-millennial counterparts.
35. The word ticket comes from etiquette, or “note attached to something
indicating its contents,” from Middle
French dialect.
36. Approximately 25 percent of ticket
websites’ volume each year, says Tixers,
comes during holiday season.
37. Shade is often a key factor, says
McCarthy: “I know people who buy tick-
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ets based entirely on where the shade is
during certain games.”
38. Tickets are changing more hands
than ever because of technology, which
means more people trying to take small
margins on the upside.
39. Tickets to musical and theatrical
events make up 60 percent of ticket discounter Goldstar’s sales.
40. Search for tickets to a smash
Broadway show and you may end up at a
fake site, set up by so-called “black hat”
fraudsters to look like the venue’s website.
41. Huge ticket-price markups are the
exception, not the rule, says Arizona State
University economics professor Stephen
Happel: “The reality is you can still get
tickets for most events at face value.”
42. The NFL will give the host San
Francisco 49ers 5 percent of the Super
Bowl tickets to sell to their fans.
43. Other nonparticipating teams will
get 1.2 percent each.
44. Fans often linger outside Super
Bowl games to buy used tickets as souvenirs.
45. More than 450 million ticket transactions were processed on the Ticketmaster platform in 2014.
46. Sixty percent of total traffic to
Ticketmaster’s site is through a mobile
device.
47. The first use of the word ticket
came in 1529.
48. Some teams, including the
Warriors, charge a nonrefundable fee to
get on their season ticket waiting list.
49. Ticketmaster says 75 percent of
concert attendees first learned about the
event through a digital device, such as a
smartphone.
50. Eighty percent of people are using
a mobile device at a live event.
(The 50 facts about tickets and ticketing were compiled with the help of the
NFL; Ticketmaster North America; ticket
pricing aggregator TiqIQ; ticket exchange
Tixers; the National Association of Ticket
Brokers; Stephen Happel, a professor of
economics at the Arizona State University
W.P Carey School of Business; Goldstar;
and Stadium Gorilla, a ticket-sales training
company.)
©2015 San Jose Mercury News (San
Jose, Calif.)
Agency, LLC.
LA
VA
N
By Patrick May
San Jose Mercury News
SAN JOSE, Calif. — It may well be
the hottest ticket on the planet.
Even when the Feb. 7, 2016, Super
Bowl 50 was still months away, coveted
passes to the game at Levi’s Stadium were
already being advertised for more than
$4,000 on ticket sites. And thanks to the
strange alchemy of the industry’s secondary marketplace, you’re not even buying
an actual ticket but rather the promise of a
ticket on game day. Good luck.
It turns out Super Bowl tickets are just
the tip of a very mysterious iceberg.
“We tell people ticketing is one of the
most misunderstood businesses out there,”
said Jared Smith, president of Ticketmaster North America and the NFL’s official
ticket partner. “Almost everyone is exposed to the industry at some point, but
most have no idea how it all works.”
In an effort to shine a little light on this
esoteric business, we offer Fifty Things
About Tickets Most People Don’t Know:
1. The break-even point for most
events is when 60 to 65 percent of tickets
are sold.
2. U2 tickets for $1,200 on StubHub?
That’s often not what people are buying
them for but what sellers are asking (and
often won’t get).
3. While the Super Bowl may be one
of the world’s biggest events, it still issues
a paper ticket even as the rest of the business is going electronic.
4. The deadline for Super Bowl 50’s
random ticket drawing was June 1.
5. At the Super Bowl in Arizona, the
average price of a ticket hovered around
$11,000 on game day, an anomaly.
6. Ticket search engine TiqIQ says if
you take out last January’s game, the previous five Super Bowls saw so-called “getin,” or cheapest, prices drop 31.89 percent
on average from conference championship
to Super Bowl Sunday.
7. TiqIQ’s Jesse Lawrence called
Super Bowl 49 “the ticket market’s Black
Swan” because prices climbed right up to
game day, instead of dropping as they
often do.
8. Millennials represent one-third of all
customers using Ticketmaster to buy tickets.
9. Tickets are increasingly about data
mining: Buy a ticket and teams use your
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The Beacon
Jan. 1, 2016 — 25
Trans p o rt at i o n
Volkswagen offers an all-electric car that drives like a gas model
By Charles Fleming
Los A ngeles Times
In light of the still-widening diesel
emissions scandal, it’s no surprise that
Volkswagen came to the Los Angeles
Auto Show promoting an electric car.
The German car company brought a
fleet of the sporty e-Golf battery electric
vehicles to the show, eagerly throwing
the keys to anyone willing to take a test
drive.
The car is worth promoting. The VW
e-Golf is a spirited runabout that
deserves its place in the popular Golf
family. In going electric, it makes almost
no compromises in terms of performance, comfort or cargo space. It looks
like a Golf, and it runs like a Golf.
And like most battery electric vehicles, it costs too much, takes too long to
recharge, and has too little range.
Volkswagen, though seemingly late
to the battery electric game, has been
testing fully electric prototypes since the
1980s. Introducing the e-Golf as a model
year 2015 car, it’s now entering a crowded field. I count more than a dozen contenders, among them league leaders
Tesla Model S and Nissan Leaf.
Other than the Tesla – which can
drive three times farther than any other
BEV but also costs at least three times
more – electric cars on the market
include the Fiat 500e, BMW i3, Chevy
Spark, Ford Focus, Kia Soul, Mitsubishi
i-MiEV, Smart EV and Mercedes BClass.
The e-Golf lands near the top in
terms of range, a promised 83 miles
between charges – not far behind 93 for
the Kia, 87 for the Fiat, 85 for the
Mercedes and 84 for the Leaf – and in
the middle in terms of price, less than
the BMW or Mercedes, about the same
as the Fiat and the Kia, and well above
the Ford or Chevy.
The base SE model starts at $29,815,
and the SEL Premium at $36,415, before
government incentives. But leasing is
often a better option for electric cars
because of their uncertain resale value
and often attractive deals from automakers and dealers.
Volkswagen has been rocked by federal investigations, consumer outrage
and class-action lawsuits since admitting
that it installed illegal software “defeat
devices” designed to fool U.S. emissions
tests. The software was installed in
about 11 million cars worldwide and
482,000 in the U.S.
In the wake of the scandal, which
will cost VW billions of dollars, the
company said it would spend at least
$100 million in 2016 to push further into
electric and hydrogen fuel cell powertrains.
The e-Golf gives some insight into
the company’s ability to deliver on electric powertrains. VW executives have
said they didn’t want to come to market
with an electric car that didn’t perform
well. They wanted, said product manager Mike Klopotowski, “an electric Golf
that drives like a Golf, not like an electric car.”
The 2016 VW e-Golf is a spirited runabout that makes almost no compromises
in terms of performance, comfort or cargo space. It promises 83 miles between
charges and is extreme quiet and vibration free
(Photo courtesy Volkswagen/TNS)
That meant it had to go fast, handle
well and accommodate five passengers
and some luggage. It had to appeal to
younger early adopters who wanted a
zero-emission car, as well as aging baby
boomers and empty-nesters, who didn’t
want something that screamed EV.
“It couldn’t look like a spaceship,”
Klopotowski said. “The older buyers
don’t want something too futuristic.”
After a week in the e-Golf, I’d say
Klopotowski and company have succeeded. The car is zippy and fun to
drive. Like all electric cars, it’s extremely quiet and vibration free. It’s just as
comfortable as its fellow Golfs, with a
pleasantly firm ride and all the key dashboard components visible and all the
important functions in easy reach. It has
excellent visibility.
Importantly, it drives much more like
a sports car with 115 horsepower and
199 pound-feet of torque than something
designed to save the planet. In “B”
regenerative braking mode, particularly,
the accelerator response is instantaneous, making the car quick to dash forward and aggressive to brake.
Unlike some of its smaller competitors – ciao, Fiat! – the e-Golf has fullsize back seats for full-size adults. The
fit and finish, front and back, is up to
German standards. It is reasonable to
assume the electric Golf will stand the
wear and tear of American roads as
durably as its gasoline and diesel versions have done.
The e-Golf comes in two trim levels
– the SE and the SEL Premium, the
model I drove. The higher-cost version
includes higher-grade navigation and
infotainment – a $395 Driver Assistance
Package includes some extra safety features – plus on-board hardware that will
allow the SEL to take advantage of the
DC fast-charging system, which cuts the
recharge time from about 10 hours on a
120-volt plug, or four hours with 240
volts, to around 30 minutes on a fast
charger.
But despite their popularity with the
motoring press, strong performance and
heavy subsidies, the pure electrics don’t
sell well.
Sales of all cars with batteries –
including popular hybrids, such as the
Prius – represented only 3.4 percent of
U.S. car transaction sales in 2014,
according to the Electric Drive
Transportation Association. (That percentage is down to about 3 percent so far
this year.) And cars running only on batteries – with no gas engine – represented
less than a fifth of those sales.
Most drivers report “range anxiety”
and the recharging time as the reasons
they wouldn’t go fully electric – no matter the brand. (Hybrids don’t need
recharging, though plug-in hybrids
allow charging and have some electriconly range.) That’s why hopes are high
for Tesla’s promised Model 3 and
Chevy’s Bolt, both of which promise
much longer driving ranges.
The e-Golf promises 83 miles of
“real world” driving range, meaning the
car doesn’t have to be babied along to
get the most out of a charge. After a
week in the vehicle, I’d say that’s about
right. I live in a hilly area and drove the
car to maximize its sporty feel, and I was
on target to run out of juice somewhere
above 80 miles.
That doesn’t mean I didn’t experience range anxiety. The e-Golf has three
range estimators – a gas gauge-style dial
showing charge level, a range number
next to the gas pump icon on the dash,
and a second range number inside the
infotainment screen.
These last two numbers were always
different. I started with 83 miles in the
tank. After a few days’ commuting back
Jim Peck
and forth to work, I found I had 63
miles’ range left, on one gauge – but
only 41 on the other.
Studies have shown that almost all
Americans could commute quite comfortably with 83 miles of range. But not
all of us have plug-in parking spaces at
work, and apartment dwellers may not
have easy access to plug-in spots at
home. And there’s still that lurking question in many drivers’ minds: What if I
wanted to just take off for Vegas?
But VW says most e-Golf buyers
already own something different for
their weekend excursions.
Klopotowski also said an increasing
number of e-Golf buyers arrived at the
dealerships looking at gasoline-powered
Golfs, and left with the electric versions.
Is 83 a big enough number to persuade
other drivers to convert? In the first year
on offer, VW sales numbers shot past all
but three other brands – behind only
Tesla, Nissan and Fiat.
For those who do choose to plug in,
the e-Golf should make an attractive
daily driver. And VW, given its diesel
scandal, could use more sales of cars
without tailpipes.
2016 Volkswagen e-Golf
SEL Premium
Our take: A non-polluting alternative-fuel VW
Highs: Solid, sporty and silent
Lows: The 83-mile range and long
recharging time
Vehicle type: Four-door, five-seat
battery electric sedan
Base price: $29,815
Price as tested: $36,415
Powertrain: 85-KW motor with lithium battery
Transmission: Front wheel drive
Horsepower: 115
Torque: 199 pound-feet
Zero to 60 mph: Estimated 10 seconds
EPA fuel economy rating: 126 mpge
city/105 highway/116 combined
Recharge time: 10 hours at 120 volts; 4
hours at 240 volts
©2015 Los A ngeles Times
Agency, LLC.
Agency, LLC.
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26 — The Beacon
Jan. 1, 2016
Comedians stand up for standup
“My father wanted me to become a
doctor, but I wanted to be something that
required more imagination. So I became
a hypochondriac.”
Wally Wang
“I want to have a good body, but not
as much as I want desert.” Jason Love
“A Canadian psychologist is selling
a video that teaches you how to test your
dog’s IQ. If you spend $19.99 for the
video, you dog is smarter than you are.”
Jay Leno
“I can’t think of anything worse after
a night of drinking that waking up next
to someone and not being able to
remember his name, or how you met, or
why he’s dead.
Laura Kightlinger
“Parallel parking: What better way to
do something you’re already a little
leery about doing than doing it backwards?”
Ellen DeGeneres
“Signs on the freeway are funny.
‘Orange Cones Mean Men at Work.’
What else could orange cones mean?
‘Psychedelic witches embedded in
asphalt?’”
Karen Babbitt
“They say animal behavior can warn
you when an earthquake is coming. Like
the night before that last earthquake hit,
our dog took the car keys and drove to
Arizona.”
Bob Hope
“I work in a ‘You scratch my back
and I’ll stab yours’ kind of place.”
Kelly
“I got my first full-time job, but it’s
weird. I could have sworn I was making
more money in college, working for my
parents as their daughter.” Melanie Reno
“I’m doing what I can to help the
environment. I started a compost pile.
It’s in the back seat of my car.”
Janine DiTullio
“The first time I see a jogger smiling,
I’ll consider it.”
Joan Rivers
“Older brothers invented terrorism.
‘Louie, see that swamp? There’s a monster in it.’ So, for years I walked way
around it. Until I got a little older, a little wiser, and a little brother.”
Louie A nderson
“When I was a child, my family’s
menu consisted of two items: Take it or
leave it.”
Buddy Hackett
“My father was cheap. Every
December he’d say, ‘I’m glad Christmas
comes but once every other year.’”
John Roy
“My father makes money the
American way. He trips over stuff and
sues people.”
Dominic Dierkes
“For Christmas I bought my brother
a combination fax machine and paper
shredder. Either we hooked it up wrong
or a lot of people are faxing him confetti.”
A nthony Clark
“I never had a penny to my name. So
I changed my name.”
Henny Youngman
“People always say, ‘He died penniless,’ as if it’s a terrible thing. Sounds
like good timing to me.” A l Cleathen
“Whoever came up with ice fishing
must have had the worst marriage on the
planet.”
Jeff Cesario
“It’s better to light one candle than to
clean the whole apartment.”
Eileen Courtney
Members of Presidential candidate Donald Trumpʼs Womenʼs Auxiliary,
known informally as the Trumpettes, display signs at a recent rally. (Photo furnished)
Trumpettes prepare for recital
The Dallas Cowboys, and some other
NFL teams, have their cheerleaders.
Republican Presidential candidate Donald
Trump has his Trumpettes. But no matter
how demonstrative they become, the
Trumpettes can never make as much noise
as The Donald.
At a recent fundraiser, Crumpets with
Trumpettes, supporter Isabelle Ringling
said she has been fascinated by Donald
Trump ever since she was a little girl.
“I’ve seen him on the news, at the Miss
Universe Pageant and on “The Apprentice,” she said. “Mr. Trump is a real man’s
– or maybe woman’s – man. People make
fun of his hair, but I think it’s sexy. A lot of
the people who kid him are just jealous;
not necessarily of his hair, but his money
and the kind of life he leads. His private
jets and helicopters are really cool.”
New Jersey Trumpette campaign volunteer Crystal Ball says that, although she
is not the type of person to blow her own
horn, she has no qualms about tooting for
Trump.
“ He’s the kind of president this country needs,” she says. “Unlike just about
anybody else I can think of, he will stand
up to other world leaders when he needs
to. And if he can’t bully them, he’ll buy
them. Anybody who has read his book,
‘The Art of the Deal,’ knows he has what it
takes to get what he wants at the price he
wants to pay.”
Asked what she thought of Putin’s
endorsement of Trump, Ball said, “Who?”
The Beacon
L au g h in g M at t e r
Three souls appeared
before St. Peter at the
pearly gates. St. Peter
asked the first one, “What
was your last annual
salary?
The soul replied,
“200,000, I was a trial
lawyer.”
St. Peter asked the second one the same question. The soul answered,
$95,000. I was a Realtor.”
He then asked the third
soul the same question.
The answer was “$8,000.”
“Cool,” said St. Peter.
“What instrument did you
play?”
☺ ☺ ☺ ☺
What’s a transistor? A
priest who wears nuns
clothes.
☺ ☺ ☺ ☺
“Are you a lawyer?”
“Yes.”
“How much do you
charge?”
“A hundred dollars for
four questions.”
“Isn’t that awfully
expensive?”
“Yes. What’s the fourth
question?”
☺ ☺ ☺ ☺
A patient told a nurse
that he kept seeing spots
in front of his eyes?
“Have you seen a doctor?” she asked.
“No,” he replied. “Just
spots.”
☺ ☺ ☺ ☺
Why are violins smaller
than violas?
They’re actually the
same size, but violinists
have bigger heads.
☺ ☺ ☺ ☺
A cannibal was walking
through the jungle and
came upon a restaurant
that had been opened by a
fellow cannibal. Feeling
somewhat hungry, he sat
down and looked over the
menu: Broiled Missionary
$10; Fried Explorer $15;
Baked Politician $50
The cannibal called the
waiter over and asked,
“Why such a price difference for the politician?”
The waiter replied,
“Have you ever tried to
clean one?”
☺ ☺ ☺ ☺
A huge college freshman decided to try out for
the football team.
“Can you tackle?”
asked the coach.
“Watch this,” said the
freshman, who proceeded
to run smack into a telephone pole and knocked it
over.
“Wow,” said the coach.
“I’m impressed. Can you
run?”
“Of course I can run,”
said the lad. He was off
like a shot and in just over
9 seconds, rand a hundred
yard dash.
“Great!” enthused the
coach. “But can you pass a
football?”
The freshman hesitated
for a few seconds. “Well,
sir,” he said, “if I can
swallow it, I can probably
pass it.”
☺ ☺ ☺ ☺
I figured out why they
call our language the
mother tongue. Fathers
never get a chance to use
it.
☺ ☺ ☺ ☺
A woman was a novice
at fishing, but wanted to
show her date that she was
a sport. As they sat on the
lake, the waves gently lapping at the sides of their
small rowboat, she asked,
“How much was that red
and white thing?
“The bobber?” asked
the man. “It cost about a
nickel.”
“Then I owe you a
nickel,” said the woman.
“Mine just sank.”
☺ ☺ ☺ ☺
Candidates for the position of Dallas Cowboys
cheerleader were given
oral quizzes to test their
IQs. One girl was asked,
“What do yo think of the
Middle East?”
“I’m kind of partial to
Ohio,” she answered.
☺ ☺ ☺ ☺
Historians finally discovered that Brigham
Young didn’t have 40
wives. He had one wife
with 39 wigs.
☺ ☺ ☺ ☺
A gambler was being
buried. In an impressive
voice, the minister said, “I
can’t believe Ed is gone.
No, he’s not gone. No! Ed
only sleeps – he isn’t
dead.
Another gambler spoke
up: “I got fifty bucks that
says he’s dead!”
☺ ☺ ☺ ☺
Israel has its own mob:
the Kosher Nostra.
☺ ☺ ☺ ☺
A counterfeiter got
caught because he had
been making money too
long – about an inch and a
half too long.
☺ ☺ ☺ ☺
When I was a kid, my
parents bought me a bat
for my birthday. I took it
to the park to play with it
and it flew away.
☺ ☺ ☺ ☺
Mary was miserable
because her ninety-yearold grandfather had married his twenty-year-old
nurse.
“Al,” she said to her
husband, “I can grasp
what December sees in
June, but what can June
see in December?”
“Christmas,” answered
Al.
☺ ☺ ☺ ☺
A group of golfers were
preparing to leave the
green for the next hole
when a ball rolled up from
another player on the fairway. A gleam filled the
eye of one player and he
nudged the ball into the
cup. A minute later, a
heavyset man came puffing up to the green.
“Did any of you see a
ball around here?” he
asked.
“It went into the cup,”
said one of the foursome.
The heavy player was
surprised beyond belief at
his
good
fortune.
Retrieving the ball, he
yelled back to his companions, “Hey fellas, I got
a twelve!”
Pickles
by Brian Crane
Jan. 1, 2016 — 27
28 — The Beacon
Mr. Boffo
by Joe Martin
Garfield
by Jim Davis
Jan. 1, 2016
The Beacon
Mr. Boffo by Joe Martin
Willy and Ethel
by Joe Martin
Jan. 1, 2016 — 29
F u N an d G am e S
30 — The Beacon
Jan. 1, 2016
Crossword Clues
Across
1 Parlor action
5 Dorm peer leaders: Abbr.
8 Lidless container
14 Palm that produces purple berries
15 CPR giver
16 Missouri River city
17 “You don’t look a day over 29,”
probably
19 One may use a teleprompter
20 IM guffaw
21 Hustled
23 Points in math class
24 Didn’t come to pass
28 Chorus for the villain
29 “Dang!”
30 Fellow
31 Drink with sushi
32 Cow or sow
35 Flooring phrase
40 Promos
41 General organization?
42 Tetra holder
43 Reining word
44 “Given the circumstances ...”
47 So as not to be noticed
51 Stories of the ages
52 Invalidate
53 Vacation destination
56 Wanted badly
59 Device for exposing the end of 17-,
24-, 35- or 47-Across
61 __ Pie
62 Great Basin native
63 Orkin victim
64 Pull out of the water
65 TD’s half-dozen
66 Gorillas, e.g.
All puzzle
answers are on
page 21.
♠
♥
©2015 Tribune Content Agency, Inc.
Bridge
Manage Your Assets
NORTH
♠ K, 7
❤ 7, 5, 3
♦ A, K, 7, 6
♣ Q, J, 7, 5
EAST
♠ 9, 8, 6, 4, 2
❤ 10, 8
♦ 5, 3, 2
♣ 10, 6, 3
SOUTH
♠
A, J, 3
❤
A, Q, 9, 4, 2
♦
Q, J
♣
A, K, 8
The bidding:
SOUTH WEST
2NT
Pass
Pass
Pass
♦
Goren on Bridge with Tannah Hirsch
Both vulnerable. South deals.
WEST
♠ Q, 10, 5
❤ K, J, 6
♦ 10, 9, 8, 4
♣ 9, 4, 2
Down
1 Go through a lot of tissues
2 Tunnel effect
3 Help from behind
4 Gather dust
5 “I can __”
6 __ curiae: friend of the court
7 Tough to climb
8 Nav. noncom
9 Word before base or ball
10 Kingdoms
11 Skywalker associate, familiarly
12 Monastic garment
13 Inducing the willies
18 Sea eagles
22 Kitchen dweller of song
25 Spanish 101 verb
26 Cook quickly, in a way
27 Half-note feature
28 Obey
30 Campus no.
31 Farm home
32 Unit between levels
33 Prince in “Frozen”
34 Large grazer
36 Cowardly Lion player
37 Bouncy pace
38 Missouri River city
39 Sundance Kid’s girlfriend
43 Boll eater
44 Actor Will of “The Lego Movie”
45 Many diner dishes
46 Not working
47 Stress-related ailment, possibly
48 Language on a longship
49 16th-century circumnavigator
50 Turn out
54 Prepare for a shot
55 Song and dance
57 Former Abbey Road Studios owner
58 “GoodFellas” boss
60 IRA suggester
NORTH
6NT
EAST
Pass
Opening lead : 10 of ♦
Declarer counted 11 top tricks and
saw that a successful finesse in either
major would bring him to 12. He had
♣
one additional asset, the nine of hearts,
which he could put to good use if he
could eliminate all of the minor suit
cards from the West hand.
South won the opening diamond
lead in hand with the jack and continued
with the queen. Next came the ace-king
of clubs and a club to the queen, noting
the 3-3 split. Declarer now cashed the
ace-king of diamonds, shedding two low
hearts, and it was mission accomplished! West was known to be out of
minor suit cards.
Leaving the jack of clubs in dummy,
South led a low heart toward his hand,
inserting the nine when East played low.
West won with his jack, but with no
minor suit cards, was forced to return a
major. Either major would provide
South with his 12th trick. Nicely played!
Note that it would not have helped
East to have played his 10 on the first
round of hearts. South would simply
have covered this with the queen,
achieving the same ending. As both
major suit finesses were failing, the
"extra" asset saved the day, or at least
the slam.
©Tribune Media Services, Inc.
Sudoku
Complete the grid so that each row, column and 3x3 box (in bold
borders) contains every digit, from 1 to 9.
The Beacon
Library Notes
(Continued from page 19)
• The library hosts two book clubs per
month. The Page Turners meet on the first
Wednesday of the month at 6:30 p.m. and the
Afternoon Book Club meets on the third
Wednesday of the month at 2 p.m. You can
check out a copy of the book club selection
3-4 weeks prior to the book club meeting. All
meetings are held at the library and are facilitated by staff librarians.
• Story times are about 30 minutes and
are filled with books, songs and more. Each
week will bring something new. No registration required. Toddlers on Tuesday at 10 a.m.
and 11 a.m.; Books n Babies on Thursday at
10 a.m.; Preschool age on Wednesday at 10
a.m.; and Tiny Tots 2nd and 4th Monday at
6:30 p.m. We Explore, ages 3+, Friday 10
a.m.
• Slipped Stitches, every Wednesday, 68 p.m. in the Youth Services story room. A
group for anyone who does some sort of
stitching: knitting, crocheting, needlepoint,
tatting etc.
• The Lego Building Club for all ages
meets every other Thursday at 3:30 p.m. in
the community center. Each meeting will
feature a different building theme.
Creations will be displayed in the library
and online. Lego donations greatly appreciated.
• Messy Art Club meets on the alternate
Thursdays from the Lego Building Club at
3:30 p.m.
• The Walworth County Genealogical
Society Library in the Mary Bray Room of
the Matheson Memorial Library will be
closed for the holidays. Regular library hours
will resume Tuesday January 12, from 10
a.m. - 3 p.m. and the third Saturday of the
month from 10 a.m. - 3 p.m., or by appointment, which can be made by calling the
WCGS librarian at 215-0118. A board member will always be there to render assistance
if needed. To obtain membership information
or find literature regarding Wal-worth
County, visit walworthcgs.com.
All library programs are free and open to
the public unless otherwise indicated. Call
723-2678 or visit www.elkhorn.lib.wi.us for
more.
!
!
!
Twin Lakes Community Library, 110 S.
Lake St., Twin Lakes. 877-4281. Hours:
Monday - Wednesday 10 a.m. -8 p.m., Thurs.
10 a.m. - 4 p.m. Friday – Sunday 12-4 p.m.
• Wee Reads, Fridays 10:30-11 a.m.
Registration appreciated but drop-ins welcome. Learn pre-reading skills the fun way.
A lap-sit program designed just for babies 0
– 2 years with plenty of activities including:
stories, songs, bubbles, scarves, and parachute play.
!
!
!
Walworth Memorial Library, now located in the West Garden Plaza in Walworth,
south of Aurora Health Care, Aurora
Pharmacy and Tracy Building. Open Mon.
and Wed. 10 a.m. - 8 p.m., Tues., Thurs., Fri.
and Sat. 10 a.m. - 5 p.m.
• Knitting and crocheting classes,
Saturdays, 10:30 a.m. Call for details.
• Preschool Story Hour, Fridays, 9:45 –
10:30 a.m., for preschool-age children infant
to age 5 and their caregivers. The hour will
include stories, snacks, crafts and more.
• Children’s story hour, age kindergarten
Jan. 1, 2016 — 31
through grade 3, Wednesdays from 3:30-4:30
p.m.
• Book Club for adults, third Saturday of
each month, 9:30 – 10:30 a.m.
public unless otherwise indicated. Call 2756322 for more information.
• Digital downloads of electronic books
(e-books) are growing in popularity. The
Digital Download Center (http://dbooks.
wplc.info) is sponsored by the Wisconsin
Public Library Consortium. You can also
access the Digital Download Center through
your library’s online catalogue.
Available to all Wisconsin residents, the
Digital Download Center offers e-books,
audio books, videos and music that you can
download to devices such as iPods and other
MP3 players, Kindles, Sony eReaders,
Nooks and iPads, to name just a few. For a
complete list of supported devices, visit the
Digital Download Center and use the link
near the bottom of the left column. While all
new titles will not be available immediately,
the purchase of new titles has already begun
and will continue.
!
!
!
32 — The Beacon
Year in Review
In other journalism news, Rolling
Stone apologizes for a discredited story
about an alleged rape at a college fraternity and announces that it has disciplined its lead fact-checker, Brian
Williams.
Responding with drastic measures to
California’s worsening drought, Gov.
Jerry Brown announces the creation of a
state Saliva Conservation Board.
Abroad, Djoomart Otorbaev resigns
as the prime minister of Kyrgyzstan, citing an inability to get business cards
with everything spelled correctly.
In sports, the NCAA men’s basketball tournament is won by the New
England Patriots, who defeat the
University of Wisconsin 2-0 in a game
featuring a basketball inflated to basically the same pressure as a roadkill squirrel.
Speaking of sports scandals, in...
MAY
...international soccer is rocked by allegations that bribery was involved in
awarding the 2022 World Cup to Qatar,
a nation with little soccer tradition, as
evidenced by the fact that the 12 stadiums it has built for the tournament all
feature large decorative fountains in the
middle of the playing field.
But the big sports story is the longawaited – we’re talking decades – boxing match between Floyd Mayweather
Jr. and Manny Pacquiao for the undisputed world title in the Older Guys
Basically Standing Around division.
Mayweather wins the fight and takes
home $220 million, which works out to
a little over $70 million per punch actually landed, then celebrates by attempting to wake up his entourage.
Elsewhere in sports, the Kentucky
Derby is won by New England Patriot
quarterback Tom Brady, riding tight end
Rob Gronkowski. All the actual horses
in the race mysteriously collapse at the
starting line from what Coach Bill
Belichick speculates could be “aller-
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6 pm
With Rajesh Balagani, DO, and Kamil Krukowski, DO
Joint replacements and medication
management
January 26
6 pm
With Craig Lyon, MD, and Dominic Draper, MD
Breast and bone health
February 9
6 pm
With Jeffrey Kowalski, MD, and Mike Oulashian, MD
Mercy Elkhorn Medical Center
Jan. 1, 2016
gies.” Brady also wins the Indianapolis
500 driving a U.S. Army M1 Abrams
battle tank that averages only 30 miles
per hour but proves to be extremely difficult for the other vehicles to pass.
Abroad, there is big excitement in
England, where Prince William and
Catherine, Duchess of Cambridge produce another royal baby, who, in a sign
of the changing times, is christened
Princess Brooklyn Dakota. She joins the
line of royals destined to spend their
lives gamely trying to appear interested
in an endless series of building dedications.
In Garland, Texas, two armed men
are gunned down by police after they
open fire on a security guard outside an
exhibit of Muhammed cartoons, highlighting the need for a national conversation on the problem of cartoonists
drawing things that leave religious
fanatics with no choice but to try to kill
them. James Taylor is unavailable, so
federal authorities dispatch The Captain
and Tennille to the scene, where they
perform a powerful version of “Muskrat
Love.”
As California’s drought continues to
worsen, Gov. Brown announces a controversial relief plan involving Lake
Superior and a 17-million-foot hose.
In a disturbing development, a
Seattle convenience store is robbed at
gunpoint by what police identify from
the surveillance video as a genetically
modified potato.
Speaking of disturbing, in...
JUNE
...the federal Office of Personnel
Management announces that hackers
have gained access to the personal
records of millions of current and former
government employees. An OPM statement downplays the seriousness of the
data breach, stressing that “if anybody
publishes any photos allegedly depicting
an alleged cabinet secretary with an
alleged goat, those are fake,” further
noting that “it was totally a consenting
goat.”
In another disturbing federal story, a
report on an undercover investigation
into airport security reveals that
Transportation Security Administration
screeners failed to detect banned items,
including weapons and explosives, 67
out of 70 times. Responding to the
report, TSA officials state: “What
report? We don’t see any report.”
In a historic decision on gay rights,
the nation’s highest legal authority –
Kim Davis, clerk of Rowan County,
Kentucky – overturns the U.S. Supreme
Court’s ruling that state laws banning
same-sex marriage are unconstitutional.
Meanwhile, in what is widely hailed
as a brave and courageous display of
bravery and courage, a 65-year-old
woman allows herself to be pictured on
the cover of Vanity Fair wearing only a
corset.
In other gender news, the Treasury
Department asks for input from the public on which woman will be depicted on
the redesigned $10 bill. The immediate
front-runners are Mary Ann, Ginger,
Taylor Swift and the two sisters from
“Frozen.”
On the political front, the big story is
Donald Trump, who declares his candidacy for president and lays out a bold,
far-reaching vision for America consisting of whatever thought is flitting
through his mind at that particular
moment. Trump is deemed to have no
chance by veteran Washington-based
political experts with vast knowledge of
what all the other veteran Washingtonbased political experts think. Also
declaring his candidacy, and predicted
by the experts to do far better, is Jeb
Bush, whose official campaign slogan
is: “Jeb! – The Exclamation Mark
Denotes Enthusiasm.”
The review of the rest of this jolly
year will appear in our Jan. 15 issue.

January 1, 2016

Transcription

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