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Volume 2, No. 6
r kwi~g~
The
End
of
WHS
022 726 849
THE WES TON B EAT
Volume 2. No. 6
Later,Dudes. . .
: Weston High School
June 17, 1988
"What’s Next?" Mania
Hits WHS
Well guys, this is it.
Adieu, as they say. We can’t
tell you how much we have
By Brad Lips &Sean D. Flavin
enjoyed putting THE BEAT
together for you ’this year. We
"What’s next?" you faults. In many cases, senior
hope you got that litde perk ask. Well, it certainly quotes were editted or omitted
out of it that we intended to couldn’t be a yearbook as altoghter. Senior pictures
give. It may look like we unique as the one that was were not as large as in the
spent hours and hours on each released late last week. Since past, there was no superlative
issue, and we did. Most of it that time, you have seldom or will section, and the Bill
working on it, but a lot seen a WHS student without Allen/Bruce Albert and Jill
playing Nintendo, too. We one. In many classes, they Bachenhiemer/Chris Alden
g.ave you the best we could have actually replaced text mix-ups
were
quite
gave...yes, we blew off many books and teachers have been embarrassing.
an exam to do it. At times, it forced to wage war against
Some
questions
was a rough job, dodging What’s Next-mania.
remain from the yearbook:bullets from the lumberjacks.
So what makes a Did Katherine get a larger
At times it was quite
yearbook successful? Nude picture than Kimberly because
satisfying, ragging on Mike pictorials, seductive poses, she has a better GPA? What
Byrnes. But through it all, saucy centerfolds, and hot is Charlie Buck doing with
through all the ups and babes everywhere! Too bad two pictures on a page
downs, not once have we had this year’s yearbook has none labeled, "What’s hot?" Look
second thoughts about putting of that.
at Jen Knuth’s volleyball
out the newspaper.
Seriously,
folks. spike on page 146. Did that
As for next year, The. From our viewpoint, the one really go over the net?
Weston Beat will be stronger What’s Next yearbook is the
.One thing that we
than ever, bolstered by an best that we have seen over learned from the field hockey
enthusiastic new staff. our four years at Weston High section of the yearbook is that
Perhaps it won’t be the same School. Superior lay-out absolutely no girl can look
old paper you’ve come to makes this quite enjoyable to attractive wearing a
love, but it will., always skim through late at night. mouthpiece. Except Amy
contain the secret, ingredients Furthermore, compared to last Verret, she looks the game.
of news, comedy, humor, and year, the class photos are
Some/,other
outstanding. The quotes were embarrassing moments... Liz
sports.
We, the editors, also lively and exciting; for Calise on page 36, Micky
would be happy if you example, E.ric Riemer answers Prackup on page 129, and
remember the 1987-1988 the question, "What is a poor Mrs. Patterson on page
Weston Beat for what we herd?" by saying, "Union 175.
made it...a different and new regulars, basically." The
Finally, we would like
approach to Weston High news section will certainly be to congratulate the yearbook
School journalism.
interesting when we look back staff that worked so hard to
To the new senior at the yearbook in twenty make What’s Next the hit that
class of 1989 and all the years.
Additionally, the it is. Also, we extend our
classes to follow, we wish the science teacher section (by our humble apologies to all of
best of luck. We hope the own Scan D. Flavin) rings those that we offended in this
spirit of the class of 1988 will with fun and inventiveness. lousy article.., especially you,
continue. We’ve had a blast.
However,
the Amy.
We hope you enjoy
this last installment of The
Weston Beat, as it is the last
time you’ll ever hear from us.
Before we go, we’d like to
leave you with a few words of
wisdom:
"Don’t read the book. Just
get the Cliffs."
Scan D. Flavin
Charlie Buck
Pete Fuchs
Brad Lips.
Page 2
THE WESTON BEAT, June 17,1988
Miller’s Promtasti c Review
By Chad Miller
This-prom was a once they discovered that there was want to know how things
in a lifetime event. Mainly more wild twisting going on went after breakfast?
Well, I figured
than slow turning.
because it would be
But enough about the someone would ask that, so Ill
impossible to duplicate each
and every moment to its music and the decorations; consulted my lawyer. Afterll
original effect. A good prom- what about the tuxedos and explaining in vivid detail what/I
is remembered for life, and a the dresses? Well I figure that happened between 1:30 am
bad prom, well let’s hope no if I looked good in a tux than and 6:00 am he advised me on
one had a bad prom. Wait a every other guy on the floor how to reply. It seems to be
looked great, and I was right, in my best interests to take the
second here, I’m not
supposed to summarize the The guys tried real hard not to Fifth Amendment and
any
further
prom, I’m supposed to review mess up their $75.00 rentals, withhold
it. On with the show!!
as they really sweated it out comments on the matter.
Seriously, though, all
While it seemed to me tryirig to ’PICK UP THE
that the decorations were BABES’. The ladies are a of you out there who tried
minimal, the friendly and different matter, though, very hard to make this a safe
lively atmosphere generated They all wore different aSnd night out, congratulations!I
There . were no major
by those in attendance more unique dresses, and they ~
than made up for the laSk of looked great. Although / accidents after the
PROMinant (ha) theme; so personally favor red dresses despite the thick fog.
:humbs up!! How about the the Sexy Dress Award would Ahem...er...um, with the
D J? Well, he wasn’t bad, and have to go to Katie Grant, exception of that one car that
the mix of tunes was very who wore a scorching black, so oddly spontaneously
combusted. But HEY! That
good for dancing. But really, glittering slip-likedress isn’t gonna blemish the record
lose the smoke, OK?? I ouch!I!
What’s
my so let’s pretend it never
mentioned that the music mix
was good but unfortunately opinion of what happened happened. ..Prom night gets
slow-dancing did not make up after the Prom? Well...the two big thumbs up from me!
the bulk of the evening. I’m breakfast was great!!! I never So folks, my name’s Chad
sure the girls with the
realized how many time~s Miller, and this looks like it
strapless dresses, no matter someone could eat breakfast for me! And I won’t be
how devestating they might in a 24-hour period! What do seeing you next year, at the
have looked, began to regret you mean you’re not talking Prom...
their decision to wear one as about breakfast? Oh! So
The Madwoman Appears
By Brookie Parry
Weston High School’s the Baron, and Kyle
Company has just recently Dunnigan as the Broker.
presented The Madwoman of Michael Andersson, the
Chaitlot, Jean Giraudox’s Ragpicker, played his part
most famous play. The with eagerness and sinced.ty,
fascinating production is set at along with the impresswe
the turn of the century in performance of Anthony
Pads. The Madwoman, an Griffin as the Sergeant and Jill
allegory, used humor to Bachenheimer as the cafe
address modem day problems owner. Wendy Druks, as
Irma, played her part sweetly
and moral issues.
Keira Naughton, the and convincingly.
In addition to
madwoman, perfectly fit her
Company’s
large and talented
part and played it very well
cast,
a
great
number
of people
with both seriousness and
helped
to
make
the
production
humor. Jaimie Cohn, the
madwoman of Passy, added a a success. Doris Fiotakis
lot of fun to the production directed the drama, with
with her imaginary dog. Vinnie Forgione as assistant
Katie Grant, the madwoman director and Lisa Brodlie as
of St. Sulpice, also amused producer. Carol McGrath and
Suzanne deBmn made
the audience with her
xmaginary friends. Julie costumes and Judy Durmigan
Negroni, the regal madwoman and Tally Negroni worked on
of La Concorde, played her makeup. Also, Maria Drucker
part with ener.gy. Also adding assisted by finding the props.
humor, seriousness and The head of the painting crew,
further madness to the Maggie Skodon, worked hard
THE ~STON BEAT, June 17,1988
BRUCE -ALBERT: Has CHARLIE BUCK: Had a
nervous breakdown after wild passionate affair with
Mrs. Duesing... they were
losing a bowling game.
last seen skiing together in
CHRIS ALDEN: Writes Vail.
book, How To Build’ Arm
Muscles By Brushing Your SAMANTHA
BUCKANOFF: Has to have
Hair.
the phone surgically removed
CHRISTINE ALDO: Fired from her ear.
from Peter’s. Market because
her~ hair got caught in a meat BRUCE BUNNER: Still
wearing braces.
slicer.
Page 3
LISA DEMPSKY: First
Class of 88 grad to appear on
"The New Newlywed Game"
JOY DEZ~,,.O: Opens her own
business, Rent-A-Grandma."
WENDY DUESING: Tours
the country giving lectures
called, "How to Wear the
Pants in Your Relationship."
SALLY DUGAS: Trades in
her black~ leather jacket for a
ALLEN: Arrested for MIKE BYRNES: Last seen Harley-Davidson.
pornography to looking for a date in the
school MARY DUGGAN: Loses her
elementary
elementary schoolers.
playground.
head in the clouds.
COREY AYERS: Tarred and
STEVE CALISE: Turns J.R. DUNNIGAN: The new
feathered by Women’s Lib.
down NFL offer to pump gas Marlboro man
BACHENHEIMER: at Harpers.
KERRY ENGLAND: Startles
hand to Dr. Ruth
SHERI CAMINITI: Fired the scientific world when she
from Georgetown Saloon for proves to be the first
posing
for a Playboy
who can actually live
BALBIRER: Stars
centerfold.
water.
the movie, Pumtfine Iron
after winnings-the- U.S.
FATLAND:
Body Building WARREN CARTMEL: LAURA
Survives without injury when Accidently wears same pair Of
Championships.
a wild boar charges right shoes two days in a row and
goes insane.
BRENDAN BARCHUK: through his legs.
Donates his eyes to Ripley’s
JON
CHANDONNET: ANDY FINIZIO: Still kissing
Believe It Or Not Museum.
Rushed to hospital when up (yes, "up") to Freshmen
girls.
SCOTT BARKER: Lost in stress veins explode,
the dark room.
PETER CHELICO: Still SCOTT FITZGERALD:
ANN BAUERLEIN: Needs happily .married to Coach Runs ’cross countryvl)terally.
surgery to remove Chartes after all these years.
SEAN FLAVIN: Writes a
LYNN COLANGELO: book, Too Ten Reasons Not
Teac, hes Westonites "proper to Crash Your Dad’s Porsch¢.
CANDICE BLANKS: Due to c::quette."
her infamous criticism, she is
PETE FUCHS: Member of
selected to replace Howard [)EB~BIE COOMBES: Most NASA’s fh’st exploration
S tern on K-Rock.
wanted political assassin of crew to Mars. He is stranded
the 21st Century.
there for eternity after being
BOWDEN: Transfers
left behind.
University of Wisconsin KATHERINE
CORP:
scares on every single Separated from her sister for ERIC GANSER: Wins a
in West Virginia.
two iweeks and has nervous "Fonz" look alike contest.
breakdown.
SARA BRODLIE: Starts a
MARC GARRITY: Makes a
clothing boutique -- using KIMBERLY CORP: Ditto.
million dollars after writing an
borrowed from
clothes
award winning play.
IMends.
MARY ELLEN CRANEBAKERf Turns :. into Jill STEFFAN
Social director at a
BROUDY: .:iiBuys a Munson:
YMCA
’, ~: ~
ego and ~n~ the
KIMi CREWS: Writes a
of her life pain~gff.
book, How to Make~ the Most ROB GOULD: Forgets
BROWN: While O05 Of Your Chopsticks.
name after falling from
g a "hurricane"
track.
DAVIS: Saved
her hair piece flies off
and injures a member of the drowning in the bathtub.
BOB GRALNICK: Creates a
orchestra.
new dip flavor, "Trucker’s
STEVE DeBRUN: Replaces Delight".
God after God retires.
CATHLEKN NcCLOSt
Flies to Milwaukee to
Corey a beer.
Predictions
Suzy Chap~fick,,,
Li~Balm.
Katie
t;[l
DOM McCOY: /r~vents own
line of indoor sunglasses.
JERRY QSC . .HWIND. : Still
chasing :after ’pe0i~le
paring permitS.
M!KE McDONOUGH: Beats
S~.-Slaughter for W0fF
!t[Wegon "
Wrestling
FO5¢r~tion) Championship.
MARY H~E,KiN: Man
NobeI Pfi~e in physics aftgr
taanl~,~ir~
tl~9. Rowgr m
.. .. ~-. _!~_. . ,
Is he
here yet?
LINDA HE!S~; Iu~ta-~
perm~e~,t e~i~ir ia theWH$:
Irwen~’~t v~lcr0 ~slaitl ~ter ~e
mispllt.oes l~er c’M!d. Eeaxns. how to breathe2
KATHY MgKEON: A~e
~:warctcss
SUS!~ L=~,O!IX~_ ~: Moves
into Harper s G.grage,
~!~P M~YER: Crash~ his
c~: .~g~,.. and ~g~r!.,. iliad
aggla....
RENE
LAUN!ERE;
BI~TSEY H~L: Lo~t.in the Beautician.
garkiag lot lit Co .rrr_poBeach.
JEFF MICHEL,: Works
BETH LEVE~: Insults a ~erk~,te[ for fogr years.ii~ all
VILla, HILl,: ~e.s Lucy teacher a,nd: still feels guilty 1~itog, ~d aow coals himselfll
MeeJa0n ~ad mOves ir~,to tlae re,9 years :later,
a’~raduate. "
IMC,
MIK]~ LEVENE: Works ou~
Suit of laew I!
KEV
Donates a, ma~herr~at.ica~,eqgation that CHADMILL~R:
pfim~-fime
TV
show "Siskell[
!iarco’.aled l~:iigs to .sci.~ntifiC proves ~e" d~esn t ¢x~l::
and.Ebert ~nd Miller." . .
s~E.NN
JI~NGS:
""
teffan~oulai’t.
.... Maizes
J~0NNI~.’JOBLIN~ Starts
a
’~
~i~ious cult::
ANT). I JOHN~ SON: Nude
~.N~¢~o ga~cer in Mayorca,
WA~EN JO~S: ~esident
’of/ames Bond Fan Club.
JOHN LEVINS: ~lecomes
hot dog. ve~ader ~ ~:hea
Stadium.
MI!
I1
MIROWSKI:
Contin0es to grow .an4 is
drafted by the :La~elg~8 In:re90,1|
BRAD LIPS;
Leaves T.J. MULVIflILL: Becomesll;
p(inceton ~o l~ur~u~ h|gher
~ducation atPurdue,:" ~
PHtLANA LIPSCOMB:
Thriv!ng artist in NewYork.
JILL MUNSON: Makes
r~oney bg selling he~
.-\ LEX LOEW:
Huntuh.
BRYN NEUBERT: Wakes
up.
Wabbit
JOD! LONDON: Becomes JENN NEWSTROM: Moves
Anna Devane and marries back to Gglifo~i.,a and marries
Frisco..., then she w~es UPthe Wo.~lO Surfing Champion
NILSEN:
CHRIS MARTIN: Thinks he LYNDA
Confused.
is a martian after a freak snowboarding accident in Squaw
GREG
O’CONNER:
Vajlgy.:,
Becomes best friends with
Mr. Kulhbars.
Kall~.
voice at Juliard.
SCOTt MATIK: $oli~1 Gold
Dt~r~cer,
CARA PAUL: Does GrapeNut commercials.
KATHERINE KERN: Right
after graduation, she starts
m~ tr~a
planning party for a class continues
matching
her
socks with
reunion.
shirt.
~~.¯ gl/~ PERCHAK:
i, Soho.
THE WESTON BEAT, June 17, 1988
...Predictions
Page 5
SHATTUCK:
Figh~g f’n’cs.
ii
ROSS PIRO: Makes his fast ¯ CHRISTINA SHEDLIN:
million off his mother’sCollege Admissions Officer
curried chicken sandwiches.
SIMONE:. Replaces
SAMANTHA POWELL: JOE
Coach
Lombardo.
Does the voice-overs for
Minnie Mouse.
: LISA SLOW: Still bothered
SARAH POWERS: Fulfills by people who mistake her for
dream of becoming a gourmet one of the "Wizard of Oz"
munchkins.
cook.., at McDonalds. "
KYLE WILSON: Teaching
accounting at WHS.
JOE WISEMAN: Becomes
the sixth Beach Boy..
STEVE WOOD: Sportscaster
for the Seattle Seahawks.
THOREAU WYNN: Turns
into a cartoon character.
ROB ZAPLETAL: Male
servant in a convent.
TONY
SMITH:
His
hair
is
MICKEY PRACKUP: Stars used as honorary fifty yard
in American Gigolo II.
JESSICA ZAREM: Fairfield
line in the Houston
County consultant for
Astr.odome
for
Superbowl
25.
SUSAN RICHARDSON:
Bennetton Clothes.
Stars in the Incredible
NICOLE
SOLIS:
Becomes
a
Shrinking Woman, Part II.
GEOFF ZINK: Roadie on the
nun.
next Rush tour.
ERIC RIEMER: Admitted to
insane asylum for irrational COLLEEN SPENCE: Joins
Def Leppard as new flutist.
fear of phone calls.
S UE SPIES:
Caught SUPERLATIVES:
bre~ng Michigan’s honor
code and is forced to do the Most Likely to Become the
Freshman section of the Next Owner of Harpers:
yearbook.
STEVE CALISE,
SUZIE LaPOINT
DEBBIE ROGERS: Thrown HEATHER STEVENS: Goes
out of monastery for breaking crazy after being forced to Best Buns: MICKEY
PRACKUP, CHRIS
vow of silence,
wear white at graduation.
ALDEN
LIZ RONAN: Hired by
Most Likely to Come Back to
STOKES: Joins a Live in Weston:
wrecking crew to shatter glass CHRISSY
world-famous
philharmonic
ROSS PIRO, SARAH
with her piercing voice.
orchestra.
POWERS
MIKE ROSNER: Dentist, JOHN STONE: Big Man On Most likely to Drop Out of
College:
for malpractide.
Campus at Trinity.
JERRY GSCHWlND
LISA SLOW
~IMEE RUBERG: ’The new JULIE SMITH: Discovers
Most
Likely
to Join a Cult:
marlboro woman.
the meaning of life after
JOE WIS!~MAN,
out of Rob’s truck
BONNIE JI~)BLIN
JAY SALVISKI: The next falling
he
ad
first.
Most
Likely
to Hit the Cover
Robin Williams.
of the National Enquirer.
RADLEY STRAUCHEN:
MIKE McDONOUGH,
ROB SANSONE: Lives by f3
}-ound
locked in a closet with
SHERI CAMINITI
Femando’s motto, "It’s more !~er French
Important to lo0k good than to Kleenex. Horn and a box of Biggest Couch Potato:
BRENDAN
feel good."
BARCHUK, AMY
REAGAN TALONI: Found
McINTYRE
CHERYL SARNO: Opens
playing
Nintendo
with
Brad’s
Most
Likely
to be Homeless:
up, "Cheryl’s Unique little brother.
ERIC
RIEMER,
Clothing Boutique."
MARY HEEKI~
TAYLOR: Working on Most Star Search Star
CHRISTY SAVIGNOL: KIM
Broadway.
Potential:
Owner of the largely
Comedian PETE
successful "Christy’s Crystals AMY VERRET: Dates all 3
and Palm Reading Shop."
CHELICO(3.5 stars) "
Chipmunks: Alvin, Simon,
and teen dancer JODY
BROWN(3.75)
JIM SCALESE: Hits on Mrs,. and Theodore.
Most Likely to Have an
Pagano.
J~ WAYMER: Last seen Affair:
pla~ng his guitar for pennies
MIKE ROSNER,
RENE SCHNEIDER: Runs on
Main Street.
LYNN COLANGELI3
out of Diet Pepsi and gets a
speeding ticket going 93 to CUSH WHITNEY: Feels Best Smile:
T.J. MULVII-IILL,
Weston’s Center.
homesick, comes home, and
WENDY DUESING
moves
into
the
Green
Room.
Most
Likely
to be Barefoot
WES SEERY: Shaves his
and
Pregnant:
head again, but this time to DAVE WIDLAND: Still
PETE FUCHS,
become a Hare-Krisna.
searching for that "perfect
SAMANTHA POWELL
SUSAN ROBOHM: Carries
Brown’s free spirit a little too
far and ends up in jail for
soliciting.
Page 6
THE WESTON BEAT, June 17, 1988 ¯
Before you sit down back for entire afternoons.
But, in
to read this, the last Komedy Others may opt for the air- seriousness, the two of us l
Kolumn, we suggest you grab conditioned showroom at have truly enjoyed our stay at
a box of tissues and snuggle Shoetown. Still others will be Weston High School.
up in your favorite chair (it condemned to a nightmarish Especially this past year at the
may be a little hot for a real summer asking, "Would you Komedy Kolumn, writing for
f’tre.., but maybe one of those like fries with this?"
you, the reader. Please,
fake plastic ones) as we take a Anyway, if this money can be remember us always.~ It has
sentimental look back at used for games of Pole- been the best year of our
Position at Arnie’s Place and lives, and it is difficult to let
Weston High School.
It has been a great Slurpees at Seven Eleven, go. As we sit here behind the
year, but we think everyone is then your time was well Mac, wonderful images of the
ready for the rest and spent.
year rush through our heads,
relaxation that summer
Possibly this summer images that will stay forever.
inevitably brings. Instead of will answer some of our few So, over the summer, we ask
the uncomfortable sleeping lingering questions: Will Paulthat you keep in touch. Give
arrangements provided for us Idol take off that sweatshirt us a call. There is nothing we
in Physics class, we can turn when the mercury tops 100 would rather do than spend a
to a fluffy towel and a sandy degrees? Can Don Johnson few precious hours out by the
beach. That’s right, it’.s time survive another summer series lake together with you. So
to have fun and make a little of reruns? How much longer before we present you with
money on the side.
must we last without David the final Komedy Kolumn,
Some students will Letterman? Does Mr. Burke we would like to wish you the
head to Aspetuck. where they really work summers as an best of luck. We love you all!
suck up to rich snobs and lug exotic
dancer
at
forty pound weights on their Chippendale’s?
Brad and Charlie.
The LAST Test You’ll Pass This Year
1. When students look back
upon Homecoming, they are
often heard to ask:
(A) "What game plan
did Coach ’Lombardo use to
win?"
03) "How did the
Seniors get such a great
float?"
(C) "How did Sleeze
win Homecoming King?"
5. Mr, Concilio is respected probably say:
by his students because he
(A)
"How
reminds them of:
unfortunate!"
(A) Herman Melville.
(B) ."Someone call an
(B) Leonardo da ambulance."
.
Vinci.
(C) "It only seems
(C) Grover.
appropriate."
6. The question .host often
asked concerning this year’s
yearbook is:
(A) "Don’t you think
it’s better than last years?"
(B) "Why is there no
", ~.1 perlative section?"
(C) "Where the hell
~id all those good looking
~irls come from?"
2. Surely, when they are
away at college next year,
graduating seniors will look
back upon:
(A) Their individual
academic achievements.
(B) Prom ’88: a real
"time to remember".
7. The Weston Trojan
(C) The size of
baseball team was seldom
...... ’s breasts.
seen:
Smoking a
(A)
3. Early on in the year, cigarette.
students were able to learn to:
Cheating on
(B)
¯ (A) Ignore the TV as homework.
they did their homework.
(C) Winning a game.
03) Ignore the sunny
weather while they did their 8. In the fourth quarter,
work.
which of the fottowing
(C) Ignore Mr. decreased?
Burke.
(A) The amount of
missing
homework
4. If Albert Einstein and Nel assignments?
Carter had children together,
(B) The length of
their kids would be:
students’ hair.
Excellent
(A)
(C) Class attendance.
students.
(B) Tri-lingual.
9. If a giant cinder block
(C) Social outcasts.
landed on Morton Downey
Jr, ~ head. students would
10. As the school year winds
to an end, studen;ts maintain
one final goal: t
(A)
A : strong
performance during finals.
(B) To buy presents
for teachers.
(C) To prevent Jeff
Michels from signing their
yearbook.
11. In thirty years, we are all
likely to think about the Prom
and get a feeling of."
(A) Love, for a high
school sweetheart.
03) Joy, for a time to
remember.
(C) Emphysema, the
long-term effect of the smoke
machine.
12. Dr. Otty Norwood’s
resignation means:
(A) A new leader and:
new opportunities.
(B) More student
restrictions.
(C) One less thing to
joke about in the Komedy
Kolumn.
(Continued on page 7)
THE WESTON BEAT, June 17,1988
Page 7
(A) Finals are almost
(C) Without ever
...Multiple Choice
over.
having read a book.
13. The enfir~ student body
(B) Oh boy, the
seemed to come together for:
Mystery Trip!
22. What is the meaning of
(A) The enlightening
(C) Rumor has it that life:
AIDS assembly.
~Iai-Alai will soon reopen.
(A) The leap to
03) The Toys-Forabsurdity.
Tots Drive.
18. The freshmen insist that
03) "I think therefore
(C) The grand, they rank ahead of the I am"
opening of Rambo
sophomores, juniors, and
(C) Paulina Poriskova
in a lace nightie.
seniors:
14. Seniors feel sadness at
(A) In spirit.
Graduation because:
23. When students think of
(B) In intelligence.
(A) They will. miss
(C) In alphabeticM the 1988 Yearbook, they will
their close friends.
order.
remember:
03) Four of the best
(A) The great times it
years of their lives are over.
19. The tears at graduation captures in the "candids"
(C) They realize they cab be attributed to:
section.
are one year closer to having
(A) The sadness of
03) The full-color
to support themselves.
the occasion.
Homecoming layout.
(B) The prospect of
(C) The dorky picture
15. Underclassmen feel joy at losing close friendships.
of Bruce Bunner on page 102.
the end of the year because:
(C) The noxious
(A) They are moving fumes from Otty’s cologne.
24. It’s not the end of a year,
up a grade.
it’s:
03) They have a lazy 20, The 1988 Awards
(A) The beginning of
summer to look forward to.
Assembly served as:
new one.
(C) Scan D. Flavin is
(B) One more stop on
(A)
A chance to
gone forever!
recognize our deserving this hellish journey called life.
peers.
(C) Time to Party!!!
16. On Friday and Saturday
(B) The culmination
nights, the lumberjack clique of an outstanding year.
25. Most of the guys of
can be found:
(C) A moderate WHS will spend their
(A) Partying like its aerobic workout for Steve summers:
1999.
deBrun.
(A)
Working for
(B) Attending local
some extra money.
truck-pulls.
21, Most of the seniors will
(B) Doing yardwork
Watching be leaving high school:
(C)
around the house.
Bambi’s mother get shot over
(A) Ready to face the
(C) PICKING UP
and over and over...
challenges of the working THE BABES. (We had to do
world.
it.)
17. Spirits seem to be rising
(B) Prepared for four
at WHS because:
long years at college.
Komedy Out-Takes
In this episode of the
This feature was discarded due to its excessive
Komedy Kolumn, we will orig{nally proposed to satisfy length.
present to you a new feature that general group of readers
called "Weston Beat Out- that we in the business like to * LOSING CREDIT
Takes". You might think that call "perverted scum." The
While this news story
this is a cheap excuse for a plan was to have students vote was truly worthwhile and
komedy feature, but we tbr their classmates in various informative, the editorial staff
actually think that it’s pretty "S uper- Body" categories. decided to ignore the issue
funny. It certainly can’t be The idea had to be dropped because, "it hit too close to
any worse than our regular from publication after a hostile home."
contributions!
parent, group objected to the
Often, people have "Fieid Hockey Girls Have * POEMS FOR THE
said. that it is the funniest Fun In the Sun" swimsuit DEMENTED
material which must be left on photo lay-out. To further
Canned because of
the editor’s floor, and TV’s complicate the issue, midway "excessive poor taste," Scan
Bloopers and Practical Jokes through the project we learned Flavin’s "Ode to the Thing in
certainly verified this
that a large constituency of my Nose" never recieved
hypothesis.
voters in the poll had misread publication.
The following are the title to be "Student Body
ideas and projects that were Goofy-Bodies." This, of * CREATIVE STUNTS TO
IMPRESS THE BABES
originally intended for The course, explained the
We think that
Wcst0n Bea) but had to be left landslide victory of Steve
everybody
has probably had
out of the paper for one Small.
an experience where they
reason or another. We
hoped to impress a goodcertainly hope that you enjoy. * REASONS CHRIS
KOLDING DIDNq" GET looking girl but just didn’t
* RATING THE STUDENT INTO DARTMOUTH
(Continued On Page 8)
Thi~ article had to he
Page 8
THE WESTON BEAT, June 17; 1988
World War I on the country of
* LIST OF WHS
..Out-Takes
STUDENTS HARD:~ FOR Australia. Unfortunately,
when we previewed this
:now how. For example, the. A DATE
material to a group of
This
section
had
to
be
lady who caught your eye
removed
at
.the
very
last
students, they reacted without
might complain "Oh I wish I
second
to
protect
the
identities
much enthusiasm. To tell the
didn’t have to go to chemistry
truth, they pelted us with
of
close
personal
friends
like
class!" You think to yourself,
bananas and bagels.
"If only I could could impress Tony Smith.
her by solving her problem."
Well, this handy little column * KOMEDY BLOOPS An
intended to show you creative BLUNDERS
At first it seemed like a
ways to accomplish these
great
idea!
We reminsced
difficult tasks. Unfortunately,
about
the
krazy
times when
advisor Mrs. Cohen advised
we
accidently
referred
to
that we cancel the column
Coach
Vince
Lombardo
as
when she discovered that our
solution to the problem was to Vince Lombardi, when we
"use plastic explosives to misspelled the word "champ"
blow teacher, Mr. Scanlin, as as "cramp", when we
mistakenly blamed the start of
high as hell."
So You Want To Be A Weston Beat Editor?
By Brad Lips
Just the other day, the faculty requires us to be an said about that, the better.
walking down the Cat Food "Equal
Opportunity PETER FUCHS has the kind
aisle at Peter’s Market, Newspaper," so yoti ~it-faced of
lively,
swinging
looking for my after-school geeks still have a chance
personality that has earned
snack, I was stopped by an
If you really want to him the colorful nickname,
uisitive gentleman who be a part of the newspaper, "Pete." Last,. of course,
me, "Brad; what’s it you have to learn the common there’s me: handsome,
like to be an editor of Thee words and phrases used by brilliant, flawlesss. No more
Weston Beat?’~’ Naturally, I the editors of The. We~ton needs to be said.
by kicking him Beat:
If you are still
in the groin and
LEADERS: "front interested in becoming an
elling "Outta my way, page news stories"
editor for The Weston Beat,
rinklebrain!" However, if I
ZONKERS: "funny you really should understand
hadn’t physic.ally and verbally jokes"
the way that articles are
WEENERS: "jokes produced. In all but a few
assaulted him, I probably
would have said something about Steve Small"
cases, we have followed this
FILLER: "Brad’s format to the letter: Friend of
like this...
I can’t begin to
record reviews"
editor #1: Comes up with the
tell you about all-the benefits
BOOBS: "breasts"
idea and writes rgugh draft.
to being an editor of The
E.W.S. "excessive Editor #1: Hands rough draft
Weston Beat: instant fame, white space"
to editor #2. Editor #2:
fortune, and loads of beautiful
NERDS: "students Smiles at the idea and gives
babes. I’m serious.
who act~_~.ally read the whole the go ahead. Editor #3:
Imagine
what paper ....
Writes final draft and types it
it’s like to go out on a whim,
The next important
The Beat. Editor #4:
and buy a brand new Porsche step is to learn about the into
Takes
credit for article in
and then just say, "Oh, you current editors so that you can
conversation
with
a
can send that bill to The brown-nose your way to the. sophomore girl. This
kind
of
W___eston Beat... you spell that top. First, there is SEAN D.
community
effort
and
artistic
with a ’B’." Imagine what FLAVIN. He put the ’D’ in
collaboration is what makes
it’slike to be invited to dinner to make himself feel
by celeb’s like Morton important. It’s a standing The Weston Bca~; the big
Downey Jr. Imagine the joke around the office that it success that it is.
Well, I guess you
chaos of having to juggle stands for "Damn, I!m good." pretty much
the score
three dates in the same night; The one thing to remember now. And youknow
probably
think
it’s tiring, but well worth it. about the mighty Flave is that that you could fit in pretty
Believe me, I speak from flattery will get you
CHA~ES ¯ well at Th~ Weston Beat. If
experience. The rifle, "editor anywhere.
have any questions to ask
of The Weston Beat" is
BUCK is a go~xt guy to have you
me,
now
is a good time...
certainly one that anyone around because he is such an
would kill to have.
easy target for jokes.
Q: How the hell did
Wait.
What
Anything from his ~r
you
get
into Princeton?
did you just say to me? Oh. posture to his infatuation Mth
A:
The world is full
So you want to become a the Duesing family is fair of mysterious contradictions.
W t_~g.~.l]~.~ editor! Well, game among editors.
first, let me ask a question. However, it is important to
Q: What is the most
Which one are you: the cute keep in mind that Charles is important thing you have
blonde in the red bikini or the fairly sensitive when it comes
brother’s
zit-faced geek drinking milk in to
his
(Continued on page 9)
the comer? Oh, nevermind, homosex~so the less
~
THE WESTON BEAT, June I7, I988
Page 9
learned while at ~
Beat?
A: Don’t ask Dr.
Higgins about his pretend
friend, Donny. More on this,
I cannot say.
Q: What do Weston
Beat editors wear to
organizational meetings.
A: That’s a tough
question because we each
make our individual fashion
statements. There is one thing
we have in common, though.
With the lone exception of
Pete, all of us wear
underwear.
Q: What’s Sean
Flavin really like?
A: Entertaining...
yea/a, entertaining.
’
Q: How do you make
sure that The Weston Beat is
’free of religious overtones.
A: Oh, but it does
take a religious perspective.
If you read the title "Komedy
Kolumn" backwards it spells
out the name of one of the
Arch-angels of Satanism.
Q: What do Weston
Beat editors do on the weekends?
A: Sorry but this gets
a little personal. We won’t
disclose the nature of these
activities, but they. involve a
By Pete Fuchs
hockey mask, a s~x pack of
Yoo-hoo, rubber e.ement, and
Mommy, I don’t want summer lasted forever, but we
six hundred pounds of ostrich ~, go...the fourth graders didn’t even know tt~, We’re
feathers.
mom...they’re mean and they doing really hard ~ords in
beat people up! Okay, I’ll go spelling now. I got one
Q: What was the once, but you’ll be sorry! - wrong on my last test. It was
weight of Trotsky’s brain?
-You were right morn, it was museum. I spelled it m-u-s-iA:
58.2 ounces. fun! Can I bring Teddy in for e-u-re. Oh well. Oh, and
Exactly.
Show-and-Tell tomorrow? guess what. We did more
You wanna know what we mulitipli... I mean times tables
Q: If you could do it did today mom? Huh? You today, and guess which one
all over again, what would wanna? We learned how to we did. Guess. The sevens.
you do differently?
make the upper case letters F, They are so hard! I’m ~oingll
¯ A: For one, I
G, H, I ,J, and K. Yesterday to camp this summer. CamPll
wouldn’t have eaten that we did A, B, C, D, and E. I was fun. Yeah dude! Nowll
whole bag of cheeze doodles. can’t wait till tomorrow, we’re awesome fourth’"
Besides that? Well, I am we’re doing L. It’s supposed graders! We rule the school!
actually pretty happy with the to be really sinchy. Yeah Look at the little
way things turned out, and if I morn, it’s warm out. Fifty kindergardners. Yeah. I got
had to do it all over again... I degrees? Boy, I want to wear nailed today by Mr. Brown
would.
shorts, can I mom...plcase during lunch. You too? No,
can I? Guess what? Mrs. I got to drive the garbage
Q: What advice do Lee is reading us Charlie and truck. Haas! You had to pick
you like to give to the the Chocolate Factory! It’s so up the squiggly spaghetti?
youngsters that look up to neat.
I
hate Abuse! Nothing new.
you?
penmanship...Can I go to Ma...wc’rc doing Indians and
A: My favorite quote
Jeff’s after school? We’re stuff in school. Yeah, Indians
is the one Chat’lie and I wrote doing math tables. We have a and stuff. Rocks and
for the fast extifion of the championship spelling bee minerals, too...in science.
Komedy Kolumn. It inspires tomorrow. I think it’ll be fun. Phone for me? Okay... I
me still, "If we laugh hard Don’t forget about Little can’t believe I have to go toI
enough at our problems, they League sign-ups, morn. The
(Continued on page 12)
.iu.~t mi_~ht go awa~v?’
,,
Looking Back
l
Page 10
THE WESTON BEAT, June I7, 1988
¯
.... 7:. :::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::: "*~x. .......
x ~!:?~:.~:~:~.~$:~$’~:~::: ~:::::~:~:i:~:.~$!
~$~::::::" ":~$i:i:i:~’.x.:.:~.:.:.~,.================================== ......
THE PINNACLE OF
WESTON’S SOCIAL
STRUCTURE.
MULTIPLE CHOICE:
The recent decline of the Komedy
Kolumn can attributed to:
(A) Senior Slump
(B) Reagan Taloni
(C) D:~, ~d Letterman’s writer
strike
THE RADIATOR
Yes, the South Cafeteria radiator!
As you move through high school and MATCH THE NEWSPAPER WITH
strive for social success, you will discover*that ITS PROUDEST ACHIEVEMENT:
I your ultimate goal is "the radiator." To be able
I to sit on the radiator with confidence is the New York Times
"Nuclear Test
]supreme goal of all real groovites.
Ban Treaty
This year, Da~,id Widland reigned
I
Signed"
[supreme. Was there ever a lunch period when
you didn’t see him either sitting on the radiator
or strutting boldly between the radiator and the
"Watergate
prized garbage can? Other hip characters that Washington Post
Scandal
graced the radiator and the :~zed garbage can?
Other hip characters that graced the radiator this
Exposed"
year wer~ Brendan Barchuk, Corey Ayers,
Chris Alden, And] Johnson, Kathleen
"Pre-School
McCloskey, Sara Brodlie, Joe Simone, TJ Weston Forum
Mulvihill, Jill Bachenheimer, Jody London and
Kids Hold
Mary Duggan. Special recognition should go
Fair"
to Jon Chandonnet, who moved to Weston at
the beginning of this year and had already
become a staple of the radiator crowd by the
end of fh’st semester. Way to go,
It is rarely difficult to predict who will
sit on the radiator next year, and next year is no
exception. Undoubtedly, Maxk Fuscaldo (who
made an impressive Junior year performance
/
on the radiator) will return as a leader in
/
September. Next year, there will probably be
more radiator diversity: Je~n Seller, Phil
DeVengoechea, and John Pul!.. could each sit
on it at different times. And d,,rat forget about
Mike McCloskey! He has a r:~,:iator legacy in
Kathleen.
Jen Zapletal might be able to establish herself"I THINK THE~E;S TOO SEX ON
as the heir queen to the radiator early on, if she T.V. YOU SEE, I KEEP FALLING OFF!"
asserts herself.
Although it is difficult to say, next
year’s juniors John Alden, Chris Hess, Ali
Merideth and Jill Spring might get some time as
well. It is quite probable that no member of the
Class of 1991 will sit on the radiator until well
into .1990.
But, whatever the case may be, we at
The Weston Beat sincerely wish our best to all
those who will try to conquer the radiator next
year. And we offer our early congratulations to This coupon is redeemable for five dollars
¯ in cool cash among any Weston cab drivers
those who will eventually succeeder
SAVE THIS COUPON/
Trust us, Weston Beat coupons are as good
as gold among taxi drivers everywhere!
h is only valid at 2:00 on Christmas
morning, during a hailstorm, while being
stampeded by a herd of Llamas, and
eating a Wendy’s Frosty.
THE WESTON BEAT, June 17,1988
Page ll
- ertainmentRecord
Reviews
like nothing else in rock[|
history. Furthermore, therell
are good melodies hidden I[
behind the blitzkrieg guitar in
"Anarchy in the U.K." andl
"God Save the Queen." On
Never Mind th~ Bollocks, the
Sex Pistols combined for a
unique moment in music
history and they pulled it off
with surprising perfection.
Instead of doing a~
regular record review for the
last issue of The Weston Beat,
I would like to tell you about
the ten albums that, in my
estimation, are the greatest in
]rock history. A longer list
]would have included the 3. Big Star,
[Rolling Stones, Bob Dylan,
6. Van Morrison, Astral
[the Replacements, Mott the ~ (1974) ,
Big Star s ~ takes W~ks (1968)
[Hoople, Jimi Hendrix, and
One of the few LP’s to
IElvis Costello, but the ten that the listener on a nightmarish
plunge into Alex Chilton’s ever warrant the label
are actually listed are
absolutely wonderful. I hope soul while he is on the brink "timeless." The songs melt
that I am able to spark your of nervous breakdown. What together within a subtle jazz
interest in some truly amazing emerges in an unparalleled rock rhythm as Van belts out
disp]ay of raw. artistry and gorgeous lyrics of spiritual
music.
desperate emotion, which and emotional devotion in a,
1. Velvet Underground, never
succumbs
to voice soaked in both Celtic
The Velvet Underground sentimentality. Chilton rocks and R&B tradition. "Madame i
and Nico (1967)
out:on some of his best George", "Sweet Thing", and
The debut album by material, "O Dana" and "Kizza the tide track arc stand-outs on
[
[the Velvet Underground (Lou Me", then delivers beautifully this intensely romantic record.
IReed’s innovative Sixties’ honest soft songs ("Blue
[band) is endlessly satisfying. Moon", "Take Care"). Jim 7.
Beach Boys, Pet
I It balances tough rock and roll Dickinson creates an Sounds (1966)
("I’m Waiting for my Man") atmSsphere that is totally
This album moved the
with gentle ballads ("I’ll Be original and he is able to Beach Boys away from thei~
Your Mirror"), resulting in organize thd album into one
formula songs about fact
rock’s most extraordinary LP. cohesive piece. The finale, hit
cars and suntanned girls, and~
"Heroin" is easily the most "Thank You Friends," into a more ambitious scope.
terrifying drug song ever tortured with bitter sarcasm, Pet Sounds features some of
written, and "Venus In Furs" Unites Sister Lovers into a their finest moments "God~
was the first recorded piece on- remarkable portrait of human Only Knows", "Here Today",
sado-masochism. ~ However, suffering.
"Caroline No", ; and the
VU&Nico is as melodic as it
is disturbing; witness, "There k Young Fresh Fellows, remarkable fantasy ’("Wouldn’t
She Goes Again" and
The Fabulous Sounds of It Be Nice." Within a year of
The
"Femme Fatale".
the PacifiC Northwest its release, Brian Wilson
instrumentation is powerful - (1984)
would suffer an emotional
especially John Cale’s electric
For me, this album collapse in which he
viola - and the songs are defines rock and roll. It destroyed the tapes of Smile,
most blisters with good humor, Pet Sounds’ intended
among
rock’s
influential.
Thus, this
energetic music, and creative successor.
breakthrough
remains
the
songwrz~ing. "Rock and Roll
chief
evidence
to
Brian
2. The Clash, London
Pest Control", "Humble
Wilson’s genius.
~ (1979)
Gu ....
y ~ and "Think Better of
With this double Me" arc all wild and
album, the Clash proclaimed a wonderful, and the album
8. The Jesus and Mary
new beginning, moving from closing, "Young Fresh
C hain,.D.ar.lihlg~ (1987)
punk’s, dead-end sound Fellows Theme" is a perfect
One of the only.
without compromising their mutation of subtle conceit,
Eighties’ albums where the
spirit of rebellion. The Clash "We’re not out to make a real songs work together to carry a~
absorbs numerous influences: big splash/But we wouldn’t real tangible theme. The
eggae, rockabilly, hard rock, mind a record and a little hard songs feature exquisite lyrics,
azz, and even touched the cash.,’ At last, an album that breath-taking vocals, and
mp charts with ’~rrain in makes rock sound young and
dramatic arrangements Cain". London Callin~ is a
"April Skies" and "Happy
fresh again.
stirring
call-to-action:
When It Rains" are the two
"Everybody smash up your 5. Sex Pistols, Never
best songs rve heard in recent
memory. And even Mr.
seats/Let’s rock to this brand M|nd the Bollocks. Here’s
Chalk would be impressed by
new beat/This sound smash
(1 77)
up the nation/ The sound
the imagery-packed line, "And
Absolutely
a
sensation.../
cause
This album has my thoughts are turning
Everything’s going to be outrageous.
twelv~ grueling songs that bite (Continued on page 12,) i,
I alri,~ht."
ll
I
I
I
Il
Page 12
THE WESTON BEAT, June 17, 1988
Artemis/Corinth...Who’s is it, anyway? Did you read
the Chariot? They’re The Student Voice? It’s an
the middle school next pulling
going
out.
Seventh grade is awesome issue... Bye morn,
year...they have kids who ar~
so
different.i:different
fourteen years old. Eighth teachers in every class. H1 be back later tonight. Oh,
twelve or one. T~n th{v~,999
graders! I’m going to get
Nature’s Classroom! We’re Six months till I get my
going to dissect worms and
And then them was ~,e_ frogs insolence. I got a license. Wheels, dude.
(3.) Oh no, oh no, oh
Middle School. Mugger s
No, not for that, no... this is the year that
Alley. Was that carpet really. detention.
Because I was matters most. It’s the hardest
red from blood? Who knows, morn.
chewing
Bubblicious and of them all, I have to do well.
just stay away from it. We
wearing
shorts.
Mr. Madonia Colleges. Class rank. GPA.
have to change for gym? We
caught
me.
Now
welre really These words are important
get our own lockers, too.
cool.
We
are
EIGHTH
now. SAT’s, Achievements,
T,zo gyms?
Pioneer
Day...(yeah Mehos!!!) Mrs. GRADERS...we rule the are you going to take a
Core, I’m really sick of school. Teachers are idiots, course? I can’t walt to get out
spelling. I know how to school sucks. I hate school, I of here. Do you know what
spell. I hear sixth grade is hate homework. Okay, your first choice is? .... ’s
harder than this year...they fnom...H1 study harder. I’m having a party. Seniors only.
have fractions in math. This sorry, morn. The fair is gay, Compo me now.., after the
is definitely harder than fifth it’s for sixth graders, Homo.
(4.) First Semester:
grade. Who is taking who to Let’s go to Westport and hang
the fair? He ask her? She out, dude. Next year we’re IT really feels wierd, not
said yes?? HMS Pinafore. going to get ragged on, so having anyone older than you
let’s have fun this year. The in the halls anymore. Early
Olympic
Day.
Washington Trip. Hey Mr. Decision? Sorry, I can’t
..Record Reviews
Falcone! Favorite Drink:
I have to write
backwards and I’m picking at Coke. Favorite Song: Rock tonight...
college
essays.
Let’s go to
the pieces of~ world that of Ages. Favorite Radio
.
the
soccer
game,
then
the field
keeps turning the screws into Station: 1-95.
Favorite hockey, then the football
my mind." Who would have Group:
Def
Leppard.
on
Saturday.
ever guessed that The Jesus Favorite Album: Thriller. game
Homecoming...
what
a float,
and Mary Chain would turn Favorite Year: Eighth.
what
a
wall!!!
Seniors
rule!
~ut such an inexcusably
(1.) Drelb. Frosh.. .... ’s having a party.
~erfect record?
Plebe. Fetus. There is so .... canceled hers. I have to
much homework! I have to do well first and second
). The Beatles, Rubber read thirty pages in english quarters. They are the last
Soul (1965)
and my math teacher still marks colleges will see.
My favorite Beatles’ gives me ten problems to do! Second semester: Mid terms
album is simply a collection of Are midterms really six hours are over and it just doesn’t
devastating long?
fourteen
What’s college. matter. I don’t care, my app’s
Lennon/McCartney melodies. Homecoming ’85.
The
are xn. Zzzzzz... No, I didn t
"I’ve Just Seen A "Face" and bonfire. Dances. Franchesca go. I slept in... Where’s
"Nowhere Man are beautiful Finnelli. What was our float, McGrath? I’m gdi~g to miss
pieces of simple Sixties’ pop anyway? The Student Voice. this town. I kno’~,~but it is
that begin to flnt at the more THE L’NION[ 
