February 2015 - UC Davis School of Veterinary Medicine

The
California
Waggie
February 2015
Even Better Yet...
Sometimes we make mistakes. Here are a few errors from our previous Waggie:
CORRECTIONS: Our “To All a Good Night" gallery in the December 2014 issue incorrectly
identified Ryen Morey as a sleeping student. It was actually Joseph Zarin. Apologies to
Ryen. Also, Marguerite put her head down for like 10 seconds when that snap was taken. She
wasn’t actually sleeping. Sorry, Marg!
If you have an Even Better Yet (or a What Went Well), we want to know!
Send your letters to the editors at:
http://bit.ly/thewaggie
Missed Connections
Close Shave with an Awesome 'Stache
(razor4stache)
I found myself wasting away the time, as usual, on a
shelf at the local drugstore when I saw you. It was your
artful presentation that caught my eye. You were so
neatly manicured with wax and care in the way that so
few mustaches seem to be these days. I was so taken
by your beauty that I could not muster the fortitude to
introduce myself. I mistakenly thought that I could
shave introductions for a later date, but I have not seen
you since. You were wearing the typical straight-outtaPortland white male hipster with dark hair. I beg you to
come visit me for I have some questions that I
mustache you. I have not pined for a facial adornment
so fiercely since my sighting of Dr. Buckpitt. Perhaps,
we can hit the town one evening and stir up some
stubble?
Enchanting Aroma
You walked by me and, only for a second, your scent
overcame the smell of the Scrubs burrito bar…
Wanted (w4mc)
Guy who loves to go running, swimming, hiking, and
cuddling on the couch to watch marathons of Netflix.
Someone who is an early riser and can't wait to get up
in the morning to eat breakfast. Also, needs to be okay
with constant petting on the belly and being talked to in
unreasonably high voices. Preferably with four legs and
a tail. If you or anyone else knows of such a man,
please give me a call.
Everyone
Every guy and every girl I never met because instead
of going out, I sat at home with my cats.
Smitten
Laura Schwartz has the prettiest smile I've ever seen.
Secret Admirer
Secret crush on CV. She's got the soul of an angel!
Glee4glee
Over winter break, I was walking down Manhattan’s
48th Street between 12th and 11th Avenue with my
family when we passed a group of people. I looked up
and saw someone in the group who looked exactly like
Darren Criss (made famous by his role on Glee as
Blaine). I was so stunned that all I could do was stare
and point with my mouth open. My dad thought I knew
the people so after they passed he hollered at them.
Now my dad is half Italian-American and definitely has
a mob boss look about him, so the shout startled
“Darren” and his friends. But after an awkward moment
and a look, both parties moved on in their separate
directions. I wish I had been less tongue tied because I
might have gotten a cool picture out of it.
Desperately Seeking ‘Stache Rash
You: 2017 hottie
Me: 2017 1/2
Call me.
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Regular advice columnist Coco is out sick with cryptosporidiosis. The Waggie is
proud to introduce advisor John Ross, a 12-point buck living in Sacramento, CA.
Deer John
DEER JOHN: This is the first time I’ve ever
written to an advice column so please bear
with me as I am nervous. Also please excuse
any errors in grammar or syntax, as it is also
my first time writing a letter in general.
Anyways, my boyfriend has been treating me
badly since his team, the Seattle Seahawks,
lost the Super Bowl. I did my best during the
game to rub his shoulders the way he likes
and left him alone for the entire duration of
the Katy Perry Halftime Show, per his
request. To be honest, he has been treating
me unwell since even before the Super Bowl.
Actually his ill behavior towards me began
during the first week of football season…in
2003. I love him, but I don’t know what to do!
Will he ever love/marry me?!? Please help me
Deer John! I don’t think I can take this for
another 12 years!
LOVELESS CUZ SEATTLE
DEAR LOVELESS: First off, let me tell you that I
am no stranger to heartbreak. I've been dumped
by many a Jane Doe in my day. The sleepless
nights coupled with the constant worry is enough
to make a fella think he has epizootic
hemorrhagic disease, but that's neither here nor
there. By the description you gave of your lover,
it seems he is exhibiting signs of detachment and
bad taste in music. The number one reason a
lover may become withdrawn is that you may not
be excreting a sufficient amount of pheromones
for him to notice you. Try dressing in more loose
clothing so your scent can permeate your
general surroundings. Stay away from fabrics
such as tight denim and leathers. Neither fabric
breathes and frankly they both are hideous in my
opinion. Hopefully this will help you get that ring
you so desperately deserve! Ta-ta for now!
JOHN
Separated at birth?
Dr. Stuart Meyers…
and the Dude Lebowski?
Dr. Tilahun Yilma…
and The Shining’s
Scatman Crothers?
2
Kids!
Have fun coloring these adorable Valentine
cards, then ask your parents to help cut them
out and send them to your sweetie!
3
G.L.O.V.E.s (to the tune of L.O.V.E.)
G Is for the Gross disease we see.
L because we Love sterility.
O for Oral caries.
V for Viral dysentery.
E is even more of every kind of blood and
gore and GLOVEs! Are all the school will
give to you. GLOVEs! Are helpful when you’re
handling poo. Hands, sans-gloves are naked,
Snap that latex, just don’t break it, GLOVEs! Were
made for me and you!
Poetry!
from Santino to Oreo
by Hana Link, 2018
Carrots are orange
Broccoli is green
You look like a slipper
I'm a plush pinto bean
In the morning we hop
In the evening we nibble
Sometimes I hump you
Which leads to a quibble
You warm me with your fur
You clean me with your kisses
Thump your furry foot
When you hear something suspicious
I'm your lagomorph lover
Your bun and only true love
I'll be with you forever
Because you're a gift from above!
I wrote this a few years ago, shortly after meeting
an extraordinary human being with beautiful
eyes. I've never shared it with him, but we've
been dating for over a year, so that's cool.
Steel Blue Eyes
(A sonnet)
by Katelynn Ondek, 2018
Behind your eyes, I see a mirror shine.
They’re dancing like a shim’ring pool of light,
Reflecting what’s in your soul and in mine
With power both to frighten and excite.
They draw me close like sparks of energy,
A maze that twists and leaves my head aspin
With hopes to dream – just wait and we shall see.
They are my calm blue sky when clouds press in.
Yet looks deceive and eyes can surely lie;
A looking glass and window both reflect.
Are you the reigning artist, or am I
Just painting canvas on which I project?
I hope one day I’ll learn to recognize
What thoughts lie hidden just behind your eyes.
4
Valentine’s Day is my favorite holiday just behind Christmas, Hanukkah, Easter, Passover, Tinku “Punch Your
Neighbor” Festival, Travis Rollason’s Grandma’s birthday and Festivus. There are few things in life that say more to
your significant other than 50 shades of pink, waxy chocolate and a matching teddy bear to rub the caramel on
after you’ve picked out the 2 worthwhile pieces of candy. Sadly, many of us have been grinchified by the recent
trend of Valentine’s Day rejection championed by mid-20 hipsters with tattoos that all read “I hate pink”. I think
there is one that lives in the third stall of the downstairs men’s bathroom in Valley. He charges me a silver dollar
and makes me clean his monocle every time I use the bathroom. Well, my goal is to reignite the fertile loins of a
seemingly postmenopausal vet school community with an exotic, yet tragic, yet uplifting tale of a Tiger, a prostitute,
and a misunderstanding of disease transmission.
the tiger and the case of
feline herpesvirus
by Lance Endrane, 2017
The year was 2011, and the world was a wild place.
98% was under water and we were all relying on Kevin
Costner to lead us to the mythical dry land reserve
located somewhere off the coast of Madagascar. That
actually might be background to a different experience,
but I’m going with it. Meanwhile, six friends had just
graduated from college and decided a trip to South
America paid for by our parents was the only way to
properly celebrate 4+ years of partying. We grabbed
our roller suitcases (side note- they’d just been
invented and were revolutionizing travel) and jumped
on a plane to Santiago, Chile. We were meeting a
college roommate that had been living there for just
over a year, claiming to work in the advertising
department for an international business corporation,
although we were all convinced he was either a high
end drug mule, a low level Chilean government official,
or both. At any rate, the group of us spent just under a
week embracing the Santiago culture before making
our way up the coast with the ultimate destination of
Lima, Peru. The experiences along the way are better
saved for another time, although I will tell you that at
one point we were shirtless, singing Juanes and
actively debating if we should get tattoos that said, “I
hate pink”. Luckily we won that debate against
ourselves. The next Waggie article will feature a
centerfold of my Chilean masterpiece.
Now, fast forward to the final leg of our trip, which
consisted of a few outrageous nights in Lima before
we headed back stateside. On our final evening we
decided to check out the local bar/club scene to truly
immerse ourselves in a rich cultural experience. My
good friend and the antagonist of this story is a kind
hearted individual with beautiful, flowing red hair and a
heart so big that it alone earns him a 9/9 BCS. We’ll
call him Tiger. So Tiger and I were in the bar enjoying
our drinks when a beautiful young Peruvian woman
approached us. My first thought was, “She’s a
prostitute,” mostly because that is my first thought
when any beautiful woman approaches us. It just so
happened that I was right in this situation. Well Tiger
and Tigrita (I don’t remember her name and I couldn’t
find her on Facebook) chatted for a bit until I decided
to pull him aside and share my suspicion with him.
Surprisingly enough, Tiger had already deduced this
minor detail on his own and apparently it was now a
topic of open conversation. Given the transparency
that they were operating under, I figured my little Tiger
cub could tend to himself so I left to go try my hand at
karaoke; I went with my international go to- La Camisa
Negra. Unfortunately, it didn’t go as well as I’d hopedmy friends say it’s because I forgot the words and
almost fell off the stage, while I think it was because
the lighting was a little off and the acoustics were
pathetic.
5
Anyway, I circled back towards the
Tigre and his princess to ensure
that the conversation was as
innocuous as it had been when I
left them. Turns out I had nothing
to worry about. In his slightly
intoxicated state, Tiger had
assumed the role of
international guidance
counselor and was
using every brain cell
he had working to
convince his new
friend of her untapped
potential and vast
career options. Well,
after they went over
the complex and
multifaceted job
dynamic of “hotel
greeter” for the third
time, I told Tiger it was
time to wrap up the broken
Spanish and wish his friend
goodnight because we were
heading home.
undertones. As we were making
our way out, we were greeted with
an unexpected surprise. Tiger’s
friend had made her way to this
bar and was about to seal the deal
with a customer for the night.
Tiger was heartbroken, confused
convinced him to leave her to her
own devices and head home with
us for the night.
The next day was a rough one for
Señor Tiger as he tried to work
through the conflicting emotions
he had swirling through his small
feline brain.
Ultimately, he
came to terms
with what had
happened which
strangely
coincided with his
journey back into
the land of
sobriety. Alas, by
the end of the day,
as we were
packing up our
things for the flight
home, the only thing
he was lamenting was the fact
that they had shared a kiss. His
compassion and concern had
been redirected away from his
Peruvian prostitute and towards
his lips, with specific concern
centered on the possibility of
contracting Herpes. At that point
my medical knowledge was
limited to what I read on the
bottom of Snapple caps, but it was
enough to understand the
difference between bacterial and
viral infections. Tiger wasn’t so
lucky. Yet again impervious to
logic and rationale, he decided
this kiss warranted a prophylactic
course of antibiotics with the
specific intent of quelling
Herpesvirus contraction. Sadly, he
was unsuccessful in his attempts
and is now a proud member of the
Herpes community, although he
did avoid a bacterial infection en
route. And hey, in some sense he
can look at his recurrent flare ups
of Herpes as one of the most
personal and long lasting
souvenirs from the trip.
Happy Valentine’s
day everyone,
from Tiger, Tigrita,
me and the 3rd
stall bathroom
Hipster.
Tiger had assumed the role of
international guidance counselor and
was using every brain cell he had to
convince his new friend of her
untapped potential and vast career
options.
In an act of unquestionable,
unadulterated love and passion
Tiger decided right there that he
was going to pay for her evening
services but not partake. In other
words, he wanted her to be able
to make her nightly quota but be
able to relax (and possibly spend
the time updating her resume)
instead of working. So with that
grand gesture she gave him a
very nice kiss and we headed on
our way back to the hostel.
At this point the six of us made
sure to repeatedly point out to
Tiger that he had kind of just paid
for a kiss from a prostitute, but he
was too love-struck to mind. Love
can make us impervious to logic
and rationale sometimes. We also
decided at that point to stop at
one other bar near our hostel as
the cab driver recommended it as
a must stop spot. We decided to
head in and grab a quick drink.
After about 30
minutes we realized
that we were more
than likely in a bar
with severe
criminal
and alone- another thing love can
do to you especially when you fall
in love with a prostitute after 20
minutes. As much as we tried to
stop him, he engaged her in yet
another broken Spanish
conversation where he searched
for an explanation as to why she
tricked him, and why she wouldn’t
legitimately consider a career as a
hotel greeter (the 4th time this had
come up). Eventually we
6
As the fall semester has come and gone, a fresh season of IM Sports is upon us. We all know that the
transition between playing different sports is grueling for any athlete, to say the least. Luckily, the new
admissions process at UC Davis SVM ensures that only the applicants with the greatest potential for
intramural sports success are chosen for admission.
IM Sports REPORT
By “Coach” Teddy Ross
Today we will focus on a co-rec basketball team, the
Hemoglobin Trotters. This is a rag-tag team composed
of players ranging from a high school first team allcounty selection (Michael Whalen), a high school player
who averaged nearly 2 rebounds per game (Marguerite
Kissel), and a player who didn’t know that “offsides”
doesn’t actually exist in basketball (Amanda Campbell).
Like the Cleveland Cavaliers of 2014/15 and the Miami
Heat of 2010/11, this team is an experiment in trying to
build a “super team”.
We want to take you back to January 21, 2015. While
you were home, maybe
studying the anatomy of a
horse forelimb or watching
an outdated show on
Netflix, the Trotters were
hard at work against a
worthy opponent called
The Thorne (for purposes
of anonymity and
journalism integrity,
names of players from this
team have not been
included). The game itself wasn’t too exciting, as the
Trotters came out firing on all cylinders and built a
double-digit early lead that lasted throughout the game.
The regular contributors were there, including Michael
“No comment” Whalen, Daniel “D-Wiz” Weinstein, Joe
“El Presidente” Raleigh, and Tom “Silver Bullet
without the Mullet” Bergstrom. (Unfortunately, Craig
“Go Patriots” Sutter wasn’t present and Evan “Don’t
Pass him the Ball” Ross had his usual dose of air
balls.) More importantly, the female players really hit their
stride. These include Marguerite “Varsity Star” Kissell,
Amanda “I Thought He was Offsides” Campbell, Molly
“Gossip Girl” Viner, Megan “Please Don’t Put Me In”
McDowell, and Lauren “I Don’t Even Go Here”
Kolnick. Kolnick, donning a Kevin Durant jersey, scored
her first basketball points of her life; everyone in the
gym, including Kolnick herself, was extremely impressed
and equally astonished. With solid contributions from
nearly every player, the Trotters went on to win 48-39.
However, the most important part of this story is the
contribution of a player named Claire “KB24” Liivoja, a
natural soccer player who has taken her talents to the
Arc basketball courts and made the whole Vet School
proud. Late in the game, with less than a minute
remaining, a certified bully (which is what we will call her
from now on) from the other team pushed Campbell to
the ground, with no
foul called. As the
ball changed
possessions,
Liivoja wanted to
prove to the bully
that she couldn’t
get away with
those dastardly
deeds that easily.
Poised to show off
her newly acquired
basketball skills, Liivoja posted up in the paint, calling for
the ball so she could go to work. However, the bully
didn’t like Liivoja’s intense, albeit completely legal,
offensive mentality, and proceeded to push her to the
ground and stand over her, yelling expletives and
challenging Liivoja to a fight. It was like a scene straight
from Rucker Park.
Poised to show off her newly
acquired basketball skills, Liivoja
posted up in the paint, calling for
the ball so she could go to work.
And here is the beautiful part of the story. Liivoja stood
up immediately, sized the bully up, and walked away. At
the same time, every female from the Trotters was on
the court, ready to back their teammate up, while
everyone on the bully’s team stood in shock and
embarrassment about what their teammate had just
done. Kolnick shouted “That’s my roommate!” with both
7
a tone of defensiveness as well as audible pride.
The refs, who were as competent as you’d expect
an 18 year old undergraduate being paid $8 to ref
the game to be, gave double technical to both
teams. Things eventually died down, even as the
bully continued to yell and curse for the remainder
of the game (sources have confirmed that the
bully is an
undergraduate
animal science
major; no word
on if these
events will be
considered if and
when she applies
to vet school).
Here at The Waggie, we try to remain unbiased,
but the bully’s actions were totally uncalled for,
plain and simple. But that’s not the moral of this
story. Rather, we wanted to illustrate the quality of
the people that we have at UC Davis SVM. They
are the type of people who stand up for what is
right, who make the right decisions even in
extremely
stressful
situations, and
who will look out
for one another
without question.
Maybe this new
interview and
application
process did a
pretty good job
after all.
Kolnick shouted “That’s my
roommate!” with both a tone of
defensiveness as well as audible
pride.
For further
insight on this
event, we asked Whalen, a veteran of these types
of skirmishes, to weigh in; his answers were quite
limited. His response to if Liivoja was at fault: “No
comment.” His response to if the bully was at
fault: “No comment”. His response to if he had
any opinion on what happened: “No comment.”
His response to if he was proud of his teammates,
namely Liivoja: “Hell Yeah!”
Up next for the Trotters: a big game on 2/18/15 at
8 pm against “Bingo was Cancelled”, composed
of mostly third and fourth year students. Results
were not available at press time, but this will be a
game you sure do not want to miss.
8
Jacob’s Kitchen
by Jacob Tupper, 2016
February is here again, and this issue’s theme is love. Much as Valentine’s Day generally makes me want to gag and
catch diabetes, I’m apparently contractually obligated to do these things, so, you know, rally. Instead of giving you
something to put your poor, neglected significant others into a sugar coma, though, I thought I’d share a simple recipe that
you can use any time you feel like showing your lover some appreciation with a home-cooked meal without a lot of effort
or more than roughly a half dozen ingredients. Cliché, yes, but there’s seriously something to be said for aiming at a
person’s heart through his or her stomach.
Chicken with Paprika and Lemon
Serves 3-4
Ingredients
• 2 Tablespoons olive oil
• ½ of one medium-sized onion,
diced (I like red onions)
• 4 cloves of garlic, minced
• 2 boneless, skinless chicken
breasts, cut into bite-sized pieces
• 2 Tablespoons fresh parsley,
chopped
• 1 teaspoon of paprika (smoked or
Spanish is better, but use what
you have)
• Juice of one lemon
• Salt and pepper, to taste
Directions
1. Heat up a skillet on mediumhigh heat, and add the oil. Once the oil is hot, add in the onion and a pinch of salt and cook until
translucent, about 3-4 minutes. Add the garlic, and cook for another minute (this keeps the garlic from
burning).
2. Add the chicken and paprika to the pan, and cook for about 3 minutes.
3. Add the parsley and lemon juice, and cook until the chicken is cooked through and the lemon juice has
reduced, about 3-5 minutes. Season with salt and pepper to taste, and serve with rice or bread.
Cook’s note – juicing citrus: Many recipes call for the juice of citrus fruits. To get the most out of your fruits, put them in the
microwave for about 10 seconds, then roll them between your palm and the counter while applying light pressure. Then,
squeeze the fruit while holding the cut surface up. This will maximize the amount of juice you get, and help keep any seeds in
the fruit so you don’t have to dig them out of your freshly-squeezed juice.
9
Jim's Saloon
by Jim Kincheloe, 2016
Oh hey! Here is the article for this month. Since it is "winter" let's go with a
White Russian and variations of that drink.
White Russian: 2 measures vodka, 1 1/4 measure Kahlua, plus milk
Served on the rocks
Black Russian: A White Russian sans the dairy.
Served straight up in chilled glass
Mind Eraser: The Mind Eraser is for getting very drunk very fast, and meant to
be drank as a shooter.
2 measures vodka, 2 measures Kahlua, 2 measures tonic water, lime wedge
Served on the rocks
Not Quite White Russian: This is one of my mixes (I don't really like vodka),
and plays up the sweet coffee and milk flavors.
2 measures spiced rum, 1 measure Kahlua, 1/2 measure Irish Creme Liqueur,
milk. Served on the rocks
Drink Tip of the Month: If you are a beer drinker be sure to "like" the Davis
Beer Shoppe's page. They give regular updates on breweries they are featuring
and beers they have on tap. Also a good place for a relaxed date.
10
Legislative News
Sorting through the red tape to help you be a better veterinarian
V O L U M E
FAQS
How can legislative
letter writing help
our profession?
Great Question! Look
over to the right where
Kristin Bowers answers
that question. Here is
the contact information for our representatives in the House
and the Senate
CA State Senate:
Senator Lois Wolk
State Capitol, Room
5114
Sacramento, CA 95814
U.S. House of Representatives:
Rep. John Garamendi,
3rd Congressional
District of California
2438 Rayburn HOB
Washington, DC 20515
Have questions
about legislative issues, or just something about the political process in general?
Email [email protected]
m
or ask us on Facebook.
We will answer the
top questions in our
next newsletter.
2 ,
I S S U E
3
F E B R U A R Y
2 0 1 5
A Call to Join Organized Veterinary Medicine By Roxana Bordbar
"Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful
committed citizens can change the world; indeed it
is the only thing that ever has." This quote by Margaret Mead is one that truly resonates with me
when I think about the veterinary profession. Relatively speaking, we have a profession that is very
small and one in which there is so much potential
for growth; we are held to such a high regard in
society and have the capacity to impact our world
in such a positive way with our knowledge and skill
sets. One way in which each individual can contribute to the progression and growth of this profession is to become involved in organized veterinary medicine. As a veterinarian, joining organizations like the AVMA, CVMA, and even more locally
the SVVMA or SCVMA, we can have a major impact
on the future of animal health, human health and
the veterinary profession. For example, AVMA's
Governmental Relations Division serves as the
veterinary profession's voice before members of
Congress and their staff. By getting involved in this
particular committee, one will have the opportunity to serve as an advocate and a voice for not only
other veterinarians, but for the animals we have
elected to care for and protect. Furthermore, organizations like the AVMA offer opportunities like
fellowships for veterinarians to work closely with
members of congress as scientific advisers. Although the previous examples require more commitment, getting involved does not necessarily
require a huge time commitment or any previous
experience; there are many ways in which veterinarians can volunteer that serve each individual's
interests and needs. For example, by simply becoming a member you can stay up to date on veterinary-related legislative issues, become a mentor
to a student, or simply use these organizations as
networking and learning tools. They offer opportunities to reach out to other veterinarians, and
they even offer workshops and conferences for
one to network with others and simultaneously
further one's knowledge about veterinary medicine. Thus as mentioned, there are so many ways
we can become involved and each individual's contribution matters so much, no matter how big or
small. Together, we can help make our mark on
this profession and advance it by becoming involved in organized veterinary medicine!
How Legislative Letter Writing Helps By Kristin Bowers
Letters allow us to share our
knowledge of veterinary medicine to aid our representatives
in making educated decisions
about our small slice of the
community. Here are some
quick tips:
1.
Learn about your legislator: Try to learn a little
about his or her background, district, hobbies,
voting record, and active
issues. That way, you can
open with something personal before diving right in
to the issue at hand.
2.
3.
4.
Make it personal: Show
that you care enough
about the issue at hand
to go above and beyond
a simple template letter.
Let them know where
you are coming from: A
brief statement of your
personal expertise in or
experience with the issue will strengthen your
petition.
Be courteous and give
credit where credit is
due: Remember you are
writing to a person to
help you. Respect and
5.
6.
courtesy are never wasted.
Be concise and stay focused:
A long and unfocused petition will discourage even the
most supportive of audiences; your opinion will be far
better received if it is short
and to the point.
Use the CVMA and AVMA:
These organizations are very
willing to help draft and review your letter. They also
provide other means to become active in government
through PACs, lobbying,
phone chains, and other
activities.
LOLZ.
xkcd.com by Randall Munroe
Ddx: in love (r/o Chagas Disease)
"Plus, you have to control for the fact that
some people are into being blindfolded."
13
Want to share the perfect bottle with your Valentine this weekend? Our registered
oenophile has you covered! Boyd Ervin, 2017, sacrificed his weekend study time
to bring you this report from Sacramento’s Scribner Bend Vineyard.
'
2013 Novantina Fiano: Pleasant aroma with a light nose and a smooth, elegant finish. The mouthfeel
was exquisitely velvety and left me wanting more.
2013 Pinot Grigio: This curious white revealed itself to me as a landscape appears through fog. Its
soft, delicate notes resolved into bold, distinct flavors that instilled in me verve for the day.
2013 Chardonnay: Dubbed “the red wine lover’s white,” this pour’s robust flavors danced on my
tongue and tingled my taste buds to ecstasy.
2010 “Black Hat” Tempranillo: The Black Hat demanded my palate’s full attention, which was
more than willing to oblige. Much like this wine’s vintner Gabby, a stern exterior quickly gives way to
a cordial and inviting demeanor.
2009 Syrah: Like a lover’s embrace, this red enveloped my mouth in tenderness and put me at
ease. Its lingering, soft finish caressed my tongue as if punctuating the end of a passionate kiss.
2010 Tattoo Cabernet Franc: Energetic. Vivacious. Enthusiastic. Much like the woman who
inspired it, this cab was hard to bottle. It’s a full-bodied, exciting, dirty pour that goes down in all
the right ways.
Sparkling Almond Wine: This sparkling wine enraptured and tantalized me like a stolen glance
from an intriguing stranger. But unlike the stranger, this wine is sure to guarantee a night of oral
pleasure.
2008 Merlot: Got me drunk. A+ would drink again.
Overheards
We mind your business.
If you have herpes, don't feel bad… even oysters have
herpes.
- Dr. Yilma
Here is the thing: it works in horses… Not.
- Dr. Theon on a cancer vaccine
That darned french guy. He was probably thinking of what
he was going to eat that day.
- Dr. Wisner on Dr. Spriet
We’re done with Dr. Spriet, let’s get down to business.
Let’s take down Dr. Pollard now.
- Dr. Wisner
Breed that bitch.
- Dr. Conrad
They might be more fun than giardia.
- Dr. Conrad on Tritrichomonas foetus
Don’t memorize it, just know it.
- Dr. Conrad, on a list of 40 parasites
Let me disrupt your beautiful whiskers.
- Dr. Lynelle Johnson on cat face masks
Dr. Marks is VERY passionate about swallowing
- Dr. Lynelle Johnson
Outcome is death. Exposure is sex.
- Dr. Kent
Let's see how far I can fit my finger in.
- 2018 Dog Dissections
Ugh, this meat is frustrating me. It needs to leave.
- 2018 Dog Dissections
“Racier options? Like edible underwear?"
"Every underwear is edible to my dog.”
- 2018s
They hate us because they anus.
- Dr. Wisner on 2018’s Group 2
Overheard at a 2017 Onco study session:
Vet Student 1: Cyclophosphamide can lead to sterile
hemorrhagic cystitis. What do we do to treat the cystitis?
Vet Student 2: Bladder cauterization.
Vet Student 3: Hyperbaric oxygen!
Vet Student 4: Not at the same time. ::makes exploding
noise:: ...But at least you'd kill your cancer..
Comic Sans is for losers.
- Dr. Uzal
14
Happy Valentine’s Day, beloved readers.
This weekend, as you and your honey cuddle beside a warm fire, reading the
pages of your California Waggie, please think of this issue’s lucky cash prize
winner, Chef Jacob Tupper.
If you want to win big next issue, send us your story. We
love artwork, prose, poetry, photography, song lyrics,
comic strips, but mostly, we love you!
ACROSS
1 Smartphone
predecessor: Abbr.
4 Aladdin’s magic pal
9 Oil cartel
13 European Union
predecessor: Abbr.
14 Clownish behavior
15 “Gimme a break!”
17 Lobbying org.
18 Disneyland meetable
character
20 Put up a fuss
22 Ousted
23 Raison d’__
24 Rowboat tool
26 “Steady as ___ goes”
27 Beverly Hills shopping
venue
30 Christmas season
34 Actress Hathaway
35 Performing group
37 Scratch up
38 Capital of Belarus
40 Start of many work
wks.
41 Public persona
43 Supermarket ID
44 Exam for HS juniors
46 Proofreader’s “leave it”
mark
47 Performs
49 Salty snack
53 Bi- + 1
55 Urban rd.
56 Havana’s land
57 They’re on the team
61 Clothing
63 Grade-school
volunteer
65 Rocky III villain
66 Architect from
China
67 Silly
68 Make public
69 Whispered
attention-getter
70 Trims back
71 Thumbs-down
vote
DOWN
1 Chili or jalapeño
2 Cherished by
3 Conformity
4 Willing to try
5 Sitcom installment
6 Bee’s collection
7 Perturb
8 Examined closely
9 Get-up-and-go
10 “Rats!”
11 Australian
flightless birds
12 Detective’s gig
16 Neighbor of the
Simpsons
19 Thumbs-up votes
21 Typical high-schoolers
25 Lasagna cheese
28 Working in a mess hall
29 Movers’ vehicle
31 Pulp Fiction actress
32 Fall behind
33 Before, in poetry
36 Mambo bandleader
Puente
38 Wet dirt
39 Stock mkt. premiere
40 Longtime Chinese
leader
42 Tourist draw
45 Prefix meaning “coil”
46 Instructions starter
48 Modes of fashion
50 Video-game face
51 Portugal + Spain
52 Ridiculously small
54 Send payment
57 ___ Beta Kappa
58 4 Across’ home
59 Swiss mountains
60 Sound of scissors
62 Possible other title for
a CEO
64 ___ manner of
speaking
Crossword Solution inside!