tl"jJp.i* r sot-it r:.sit

for The t'tission recently and love the music.
i;:"r*Slrltavins
Beethovan;s
ninir'"i; k;;;-*" soins when doins
r wonder how DJ and r wirl..go together tor 4g hours. rs
it
possible we vrilr bore
five been
rong r am
very used to^ly *yn each oth6r.
h;;- ttt go with
-company- and don't knon"r"n*-"o
someone else around. .Anywby,'he
tru" -ana
*""ting$
t"-g"
t,, tomorror,..
dinnei
tonifr,i
ouf
io*o'.o*
sJ
nisht
f;:;ffi ir*tr"'1"iri:T
An pleased rvith new sad,dle
Y6ry secure but it is new and
slippery with f trjed ii Ln :Cai,
It makes me realise just whai
a smooth
.
ride Sean is.
CIeo had this huge
side
-her
reaction to a bit-e. lump
gut iton is
slowly
ssems
going
to be an allergic
down
26.1.9s
Australia Day. Had a super, time sith DJ here the past
coupre of
days' Had dinner and male rove-on-iii*-rr*tandah
thE
first
night.
spent the next morning in.bed. ri*-wint
--i.r,in"""
in
to
work
tor
a
short
time the second . 9"f.
pjn.nq"
take-aways)
on
the
verandah lasr night. I tinisnLc ';il;" 13_page
submission. Hard
-morning.
w.rk. He drove b,ick. up
this
we tarked a rot of
-hg** n"his marriaoe and his ^wife.
trrlii<g.
lesbian. rf wourd iiipr"i" a lot. G; Arirude
.qrre- might possibry be
me, sex €rc.
going to miss hin af.tei h;"i;; n-i* here ro
rike
that. we do
get
'm on well. And he has the most imazingry good sek
drive. rn
some'sessions we had in bed..i1
couple
of
days
he *ourd
i""t
come three times in a row. Not .tnt
bad
?;;
guy
a
in
his
fifties.
The problen is, as he said, $e r,r""-Iirr"n in
Anyway, r don' t want to be sad .- H" -;; much love.
f reer wi th me now
and can actualry say "r 10ve you,, without pronpting.
Debbie is corning oui to sb,ay
which shourd be fun.
Doesn't rook rike r'rr nakd ittonight
ii--nurru*
Heads *itr, Mandy and
Claude and I am not getting in-enough -riding.
cleo's site is gcr_ing-dovrn End r biffieo-rrei--ioouy.
when- r q;t away from *"it-i
rearise-hocr much stress
I.t puts
-i:-only
rt
me under.
Brian is goitq t: Ii.*g
to let me know which
-me tonight
Melbourne uni
got
intd.
Hope
iir-*'pu"s
gets what he wants.
I am avoiding Jrp
Mum-as usual.
Goss announced tonight ttv.
-.q;ir,. to re-route the f uck_
-are- going
the-koala freeway thiough ndAtand*
tl"jJp.i* r sot-it r:.sit i;-wh;p;1; a week back. Aren,t r
3t.1.95
werr. puss oot the course he-vanted and re-entry to uni.
DJ and f
]. . .A"e, as, usual,
.
He is, as usual, home r,rith [i; nothina.
;i;;:'::
we took a German.bgck packer - Katherine.- out
night riding.
she is staying nith tta'ndy ana ciiul".-ii"o a great
time.
.
41
&
13.2.
95
Horrorl Back to tsork tomorrow. Have dohe very libtle ou'tside of
"rL-has baen good.
riding,- reading and sleeping during
hols.
Vgry relaxing but I am dreadinq qoin-q back.
whi re Katherine {German backfaJker y- was here \,re v*ent f or a
coupre. of night rides. The seCond one $e got lost and had to go
gtTpiglt up ridge. very iffy but horses r vras one cai cai and'
Katherine on Sean h,ere magnif icent.
Had some stinking hot dals and rrent swinming in sally,s pool
Lovelyl
Mandy and .r
managed to__get in a few rides but the rain ( it
wps needed) lly"
has come no*. The creel is flowinE ajain foi-aU"ui
the first time in a year.
r sold the T"oy_ ?orier saddle..to rpswich saddrery a cfeek ago
$40s cash. There was something nrong
{or
th; tree and r
-rtwith
figured it was better tc ge,t
rid
6t
it.
was.sittingright of the horse and wou-rd have dona i l;t ;i iru*ug" to- ttre
The same Saturday I went to Samford from a Trading post ad and
!999ht -a nice, {eep-seated Dolan Enterprises Uladn saddle for
$420 {down from
also ralked th6m inio--Jirr.ing me a pair
-so didIOK.
of ox-bovrs t $*A ) $45b}.
r.39 very hap,P{ r,rith the saddle which is very comfortable and I
will use on cai, cai. sean ean have
and Angel the o"n
stuart which r sanded and cleaned up Gardinef
last
night.
a great . night at tomei le's last Tueslay . lrre talked f or
llud
hours. got pissdd
as newts and $ent to b;d-;b;;i i'-.*.
DJ wag worried ryhen r didn't get hone til noon
Doug slack is taking torrerl-e and r to dinner on Tuesday or
9{ednesday.
Keatlng. waq -up. tg. gpen Mary's of f ice at Beenreigh on Friday. r
was lnvited but
didn,t go.
Haven't heard from Drew and r am wondering if r pissed him off
when Lorrel.le and I called him.
Environment is-big on the ne$s agenda now.
DJ and r have b*.*.q go.ing, fine ari'a r sond,er
accept my fate vith him instead of fighting. if r am starting to
He is much more affectionate nosr and ihere-is a rare phone call
vrhen yre don't say "love you". He is big
phone
"n-r.l""lng mB on the
r saw him last sunday on his way out of town and he is coming
oyer this morning.
.
_
:25".?E!95.
wsT'haal*:'1uhch..*itl Doyg,.s{'a_ck ..on Tuesday and Lorrelle and r
didn't leave the Sheraton til 10 and then torrelle and I talked
Drrt"rnane.-gq!,*"tp.iBrookfierd on .w"a""sJay nighr. - -.ti|-.midnig_lt.
i on :-Thurs.dqr' ;nighr::: ftr'h. t, DJ*and i,;;;;;;Jlit
!"rL.,
?
",-Rubicon.
91_Jl_ul_d_u.L-lip.lrl,- -J was .doilg an.
priffgigtrca
,better Ior
I hung
"rti.i
". "Uoui"-.]h;-d;;
I lig[t1yr:tbrldi:
hi16v..1t*
after
bri
!g
se.Lt 'wouI
?he calls kept coming and rre sort
On Friday morning we fought again.
up.
42
of
gt5riffiiidli:
made up.
Friday {L7.2} I beeped DJ as he was going to ring me that night
and said he shouldn,t, It wasn,t a very good idea
He said he nould. I didn,t stop him.
He rang before he went out to a function and then at 10. 30 vrhen
he got.back.
We fouqht.
riat'e
utst to
He
?ffirpS'}.st-jwori
dffi$'f,;I*tbld him I would
tell his wife.
fought. Hung up. Rang back.
About 11.30pm-r rang his wife. r rcas polite. she said she
qrasn't at her best at that time of niqht.
DJ and_f l*pt ring back and forth. $h; rang hin.
went off hei head-and said she wouri destr6y me and hirn.
on 18.2.95 r courdn't take any more. r rang-him up there and he
told me his r*ife was very angly and attdr me. i rang her to
confirm. She told me f purbued-him.
I rang him back. Was almost suicidal.
He was coming dosn to see her.
I rang Lorrelle.
She rang hin.
The creeks we-re up^ out here and he told Lorrdtle he would go
four-wheel drive and pick up Lorrelle.
lome and get
g.o to work but had creeks up, thank god.
f
-co.ul_dn't
DJ
didn't pick up-Lopgerl-e. He told her he and wife were very
upset and he would think about it. Lorrelle rang him back ani
go! same ansver.. _.nV ni_ght time Lorrelle decided to ignore him
he.rang back five times. she talked rne through th6 day.
3nq
I took phone of t hook from *ork and hirn.
He also tried to ling -t!"tr{v three times on saturday night but
We
cl-qude answered and told him he. didn, t knotr nhere r was
Oimt li'dt* 1 9 t h-, Lor,ral'"jl. e : ran g,l'th im:
i:.t'he, Sai d . he,+:,.a
"and
tto
out'bu
t'
oodibnv,iayp4rq-4:ery
g
;s!op-.$g1:r
:o*i T
lud
r- rse
.
t up. btandy.,Jg,_.ggsg._.in a-nd a*ran*d-tape-{v*hitiiq;i{e'ffis-t
hirn ,'a letter;fjilrtd gave ; itrt,o::hin.,lft_er;hardly read i t .
,i
fi w.rote
DOUG.
. IT'S FINALLY OVER.
r KNotl Not^, You ARE TRYTNG T0 JUSTIFy $fiAT HAPPENED. By Nohr you
HAVE PROBABLY MNVINCED YOURSELF OF TITE LIES YOU TOLD SANDRA _
TH.AT I PURSUED YOIJ AND IAIOULDN .T LET YoU EbTD IT.
YOU KNO|A, TI-IAT IS NOT TRUE.
YOU PROBABLY EVEN HAVE MNVINCED YOIjRSELF OF TI{E GARBAGE YOU
TOLD LORRELLE THAT I SHOUTD HA\IE KNO,VfN YOU I^IERE A T,TARRIED MAN
AND YOU I,IADE IT CLEAR TO ME YOU T^,OIJID NEVER END YOT,R MARRIAGE.
THAT IS ANOTHER LIE . YOU DID LEAD ME ON. YOU SNSTilTTLY TOLD ME
I{ELL
HO!.' UNHAPPY YOI.'R MARRIAGE WAS, THAT YOT,,R WIFE NEVER REALLY
LOVED YOU ETC ETC.
I TOLD YOU VERY ff.EARLY MANY TIMES AND PARTICULARLY AFTER
OCTOBER - TITAT I WAS ONLY GOING ON WITH OUR RSLATIONSHIP ON THE
EIGECTATION YOIJR MARRIAGE IT1sULD END, YoU KNEW I LoIIED YoU ANo
IT hIlSUtD HA1IE BEEN IRRATIONAL FOR ME TO KEEP THE RELATIONSHIP
GOING IF I DIDN'T BELIEVE YOU hIOI,JLD M}'E TO UE .
43
I
i
ti
tl
ilM
NOT
A
MASOCFIIST.
YOU BETRA:IED
YCIU
ME ON EVERY LEVET DOUG.
::';1i'DUT
TO PIEASE yOU. {OU,KNEW;,fitirrT
LgEpoRT,ffixo ,:lTlE
'!ti;5f
YOU
IT]AI{D'"T.,DID rT
.
I HELPED .YOIJR CAREER\{rO'.FLEASE yOU,
r wAs ALwAys HoNEii wrrii-iou-iiour nrn DANGERS I RAN BY DOING
rT. YOU KNEW I RISKSD TT.TE
OI,TLY REAL rNrIrE I F{,AD AND THE MEANS
OF
MY SURVIVAL FOR VOU.
I DID NOT BELIE1E A MAN I4IIO LO1ED ME I{OULD DUMP ON ME
AND NOT
TAKE CARE OF Mg IF I DID GET TTE
You RTSKED NorHrNG. you HA\f;E yot R l,roNev, yot R
cAREER AND EvEN
'AQ(.
YOL'R FARCE OF A MARRIAGE
AND
f3$r^ll"rmR
BULLsHrr.
SANDRA
r,foN,r rEA\{E you BECAUSE sHn DoEs Nor
YOU 1,r,ANT TCI HA\E SEX WITH A I.IAN yOU
LOI{E. YOU TELL HIM CONSTANTLY
THAT YO1J I,O\IE HIM. YOU IOW,T GO OUr
tO PLAY NETBALL W}TIIE YOU
DECIDE IF YOU LO1E HIM.
YOU DON'T LOIIIE HER.
you t^l0utDN'T HA\rE aEEN WITH ME IF YOU LOVED I.TER.
YOU CAN,T LOVE
TIdT} PEOPLE AT ONG. YOU CAN USE T[.TO
PEOFLE AT ONCE BUT
IT IS NOT
REAL LOVE.
BUT TT.TE PAIR OF YOU WILI STAY TOGETFIER AND
I(EEP t'P THE PRETENCE.
TO }IER, YOU ARE MONEY, STATUS ATiTD YOU BAIL
I{ER OUT WHEN SI{E GETS
IN ?HE SHIT.
TO VOU, STAYING WITH SA!{DRA TS RESPECTABILIIIf.
NOrr LOSING MONEY
AND YOI.JR MOTHER T^'ON'T GET },IAD
EiCAiJSE
YOU
ARE RENPTNC UP
APPEARA}ICES AND BEING A GOOD RESPECTABiE
r.rffr.g
BOY.
Ncrv{
I{ATE You BLtr THAT wrLL co AND- rF
wrLL
END UP THINKING OF YOU AS SAD AND PI"Irut. eer THRoucH THrs
ANS ?HE HONEST TRUTH IS, I DON'T I<}.IOI4 IF I
WILL I*AKE IT BL,T
THAT'S NOT SO BAD.
IF I DON'T GET SACKED I AM FINISHED IN POLITICS BUT
I DON'T CARE
ANY
r
r
r
MORE.
I?'S A FILTHY, EVIL
ABE?TING THE
GAME
GAME AND
BY WRITING ABOUT IT
I
AM AIDING
AND
ar-though he said a number of times
|?
in tront of all
or I?pl,rying
us that he roved me. slowly^
ttre
liutn
began
to
come out and
wi.fe was stunned how much he hid f lLA.-she tried ooing
m€ a"couple of times-uut didn,t stand
chance.
when she -had -enough
said stre -*;; reavin! -uuta he
stayed
"ri"she
talkins to me and Mlndv.
ii'
minutes
and
asked for keys.
"itlii ""i-f;;#;1
He gave them'to her arrd stayed talkino
He booked a flighr home
;J i";;reed in fronr or Mandy arr
threa wourd have a triar ",'1_l:
separation foi a month.
r drove him hone. r ,*arned hi* -was-liupio,
now rose the
both of us.
-rnirriage
He was rationar and tord me rreh;';;;ld
tte
would
have died natural.ly anyeay. r saiJ he-was ripe
to fart in love
and if it hadn't bden nie it-would-ti""-u"en someone
else.
He agreed. He said he courd il; i;il f,is wita
rre
lived
her bur
he did not hate her.
As ws were driving she put a lnessage on his beeper
to say his
I
44
clothes and car were at the oftice.
He panicked.then. Very sorry for himself.
-
He went and tried tb talli to t,ei dui she had takerr of f the
wedding ring,
He rang me (r was at Lorrelle,*! wlgn he got home to say he was
aI1 .right and f was very lovirrg io hin
Gordo
was at Lorrelle,s and I iold him.
r then didn't make contact
Monday night
because r was
aafraid h: yl*, going. to buggertilthethe
hearings.'
r otfered to brief-him on-neutral
territ6ry at Lorrelle,s.
-t[*-conversbtion
He agreed'^r- t'Sp*
my half of
and rnade it very
-chasing
clear r t*as not
or pressuring t im. riJ agreeo.
He was wearing aftershlve dnd had -a-shower whei:
picked hin up
-l other
to go to torrelle's. we touched and called each
sweetie
stc.
we left Lorrelle's and he started saying he. was going to try to
5?"p ta]-king to his r*ife and *ouia stay-at trei-prace if she let
him,
r told him he had broksn our agreenent $o it was off.
r tried to be supportive but it was traia.-i+* parked at west End
and at Stones Corner.
There was much tears .tld fighting and he eventuarly came home
with me and left in a cab about Aail.
r was sitting in tears on the
floor. He had asked courd
he come out and '*alk and talk kitchen
on sunoav -ino ;; agreed 1,,e vould
stay in contact until he *orked out what tre was goiig to do.
r-. spoke to hin wednesday end he startrJ-""ving-ii
he went back tcr
r'ourdn't sLe me sundJy and wb wiuldn,t
[eep-*"*i.ng
:l:r"j*f;"j.
r ended in tears. But.a11 the vray- ttrrogo.h r kept trying to talk
Lo hirn about Drew and his
peoite. rf -rre rcep-f going being rude
to me etc he was qoinq to own
blow e*ieryone out of t,he r,rater. I told
him r courdn't hgip.hin
with
the report. r- somehow got to work.
r didn ' t t'alk to - him. any more
aio ut nlgtt"-r,* sr+i tchecl hi-s
bedroom phone to switch.
Thursday
He rang Lorrerre
at 6 am. He knew she had
a
but didn,t
s€em concerned about how she felt. shq r3n_g. *"'uno
1;";;"hi;.
we talked on the phone a lot and r asked him ii--i* would
talk to
Lorrelle.
prowlar
I. was desperate to get hirn calmed down and speak to me in a
civilised way.
In the end, Lorrelle rang him back and he said he r+ould go and
see her.
He asked her if she had anything for breakfast.
He told her how great our rLlationstrip -*i*. he thought his
marriag€. lras- over trut tre vranted lreatrring space fron rne.
He told her he toved me. He told trei lie--ip"ii-Sso-;; phone
catl
tcr me. He told h?r f .beeped him. She -said if he dicln,t want
tcr
answer the beeps he shouldn't. she also told him hs courd
change
the number. He-gave her excuses
he- coulon,t.
He t<lld Lorrerle r wourdn't Let
',hy
iin
of the car on Tuesday
night. Burlshit. Lorrerre pointed out "ut
r,"
traffic light.
"LurJ";"""iot out at a
45
There $as no indication he and I were over.
him afterwards and he kepr.g*itjng up m€
I tqlg my
block r had t* know wh-ere'-i stood. r told him if he
1.qid meet
didn't
me at Zpm I would tell his Loss.
picked
him
up and-we drove to the river
.r
He Lold me he had tclld Lorrelle it was overbank at. st Lucia.
He implied she -agrsed with hirn and told tr:.m to change his beeper
number t.o get rid of rne.
I w€s 'fg-4 ,up,,f!ldirold
n"o'"heerd
'i"*ffJj:.$,rHf63$$fi
r
rd'
q
;;i I;
ltyYtasnit fair. li;.e6s
?
L--a:-&i!.r
h ad,''.':r
o
:L.
h im;
tcn-d;i'iiE:rtl
r
f"l'frff$;,-{,,
:
it
",#'#3"i s i*i n g,., **,
d
sendinq
me mad'.
j*=^..^
He Enen
ne
then ortered
otfered ne
me money.
monev- Slnnn n.t,
incr- ;;*
a* ff irst,-_,, I
theii,*.$5000. ?
I said
rnight be an old vrhore -but$1000
a. .high-"i""" one and the uork I had
done alone rvas worth minimum S10.ioo
r was howling my eyes out. r asked him t.o drive me home I
couldn't.
He reructantly.did. By then r was devastated. He rang a cab
as
SOctrr aS we gOt home.
r couldn't believe he would reave me in such a mess but he kept
talking about_goilg back to work
It :l: stage r pulled the phone out of the wall and he threatened
rt
mes,F99eP",Pl9
to hit
:.m
1xe
me.
berly'up. Terrif ied,
been hit too many times before.
.r.. y?nt.
while he was here Jinn saorreyr,ve
and-ilii*v-o,Donnell'rang.
The ansrvering nachine was oft;;d i-i"io hinr not to answer.
He ansrrered. Told them it was a-wrong number. Then ,when Jimmy
he totd Jinmy was atr
rhen
il?ff'back
"iir,t.
He r,ang her and f irst said r was arl right and then said
r
wasn' t
He left. r nent straight for the grog becauee r knew it would
slow me down.
r somehow rang back Lorrelle and told her threatened to hit ne
and offered ma money. The same with Colt**n
r tried to ring him once and he stammea'do*n
qrrs Yt
svwrr the
phone without
t'alking to mg
rn desperation., .r. rang .Qteve J in tears. r told him basicarly the
truth but tord him
r- didn,t
to-hurt D-T and to keep it to
himself' steve was stunned butwant
good-inJ-said we would talk in
the
morning.
Tlr.
9av r rang steve. r totd hiru r would. be happy to Leave
i t wilp5t.
th him.
r rang DJ and he r*as incredibry rude and kept saying to reave him
alone as he had work to do.
All r wanted *as a sign he hqd some concern for me and others. r
didn't want to go to Steve's boss, gui-i rang three or four tirnes
and.he was the same every tirne
r
i;;;"ii""nl"iri
.
liffi 'flq
good
faith'.
"i?*flt*"t?
t
*I_el$Said*-re'*d,do i t
.
abouilrhe af fair
.I bur
l, J.
r was
WaS
T:^l:dn^-T1*-1.1-11rd--1"
_l?dn'rside
.ralked
under pressure from the other
ina st"ne and co hadLttI
taken me
46
;-"
&i
for granted. They should take me for lunch.
f coul.dn't believe it..
I told him I nould now tell Steve,s bo'ss.
He still vrouldn't listen so I rang back Steve and he offered to
contront OJ.
He did in a round-about way and Steve told me he danced around it
but admitted the affair
That was something
I rang back DJ and he had started to calm down.
f rang hin on Friday morning because f was worried about fiis
appearance and r didn't want hin to bugger it up for everyone's
sake
He read me what he'd vrritten and -it was shit. He said he would
send Brian S500 he needs instead of a student loan as some
payment for the work I did
I corrected what I could down the phone and asked him to let me
knor* how it had gone.
He rang and said he wasn't on. I said I woutd stitf help him whan
*cut;:?113il.*.*r;l';"':iikf;i*
una told hirn others were tryins to
hin out.
He was reall.y rude. r ended up in tears. But- he said he wourd
ring Monday.
Ha vta€ coning down to see his ryife and talk about getting back
together and nould drive home on sunday and then to -the pr-operty
after that.
r spoke
Jim soorley on a story and he said ret him drown. r
was still -tohooked into the game. Cut contact for at least a couple
of weeks
He ?ras no good to me if he couldn't stand on his own two feet.
f put a message on his beeper.
"Everythllg-is f ine. I'Il contact you rr'hen L'v6 got myself sorted
out . Don't torget Brian , 'Don' t bother ringing t'tonday. pat . ,,
I've held out since then. 9l Saturday l tiad-to chaie Bitl Ludrvig
and that took my mind off
it. r'was exhausted. r had beei
averaging 3 hours sleep and night and drinking. But somehow r got
through.
on. saturday-nigtlq Di soon was at dinner at t'tandy,s. she said ec
John Jerrard said the Matthews report $as fair ind balanced lTl
and Lorrelle was iffy
I put her straight. I drank and went to bed
Somehow I go_t throug-h Sunday with torelle'g help.
I spoke to Pam Bornhorst. Phitlip Chubb. the dan who sacked har
was ftrrced to resign.. shg rang i* q 10 and we talked to midnight.
From vrhat
26,2.95.
she said they have been doing a vicious job on Loreile.
herl. r rang- his number twice but hung up
r
dialling.. r. so bally wanted to know if he rsis af before
i-iigfit.
was the rnarriage lack together? Telr him to pul.l his head i_n iittr
hi: job or everything everyone had worked fbr would go dovrn the
tube.
r was worried about Brian's money so r put a message on his
beeper.
"Please don't forget Brian. rt'g inportant. please leave a
T?ogv- has -been
finished
47
i;',
&_
*
message on my rnachi.ne when you,ve done
About 15 minutes later he ranq in.
it. pat',
"I didn't forget Brian. I posled it at'10 o,clock.,'
He hung up quickly. He sounded dreadful.
I_thought for a while and then_put another message on his beeper.
"Thanks very much - Take care. pit. ',
Lorelle has to.tace her union with Richard carew today. It,s.
about six now and ilm waiting to hear hovr she went.
unfortunately it's rvor,s night and r won,t be able to ialk to
her long.
I think I'll have a few drinks again.
rt is breaking my heart. r do love DJ and the love is real..His
marriage- cannot sork. They cal-,patch it up but it was very
unhappy. before me and now it vrilt be much uirhappier. She won,t
trust him and wilt n€ver relax rr'hile r am around. f know it will be natural for hi.m to cling to what he knows and
try to patch it up
He-problbly.hatei ne rigrht.now. but deep down he knows he rearly
loves ne and *ill miss mb like hell
His career, ny-friends and the good sex goes vrith me,
r do want hira back. r am so sclred he vion't co&e and even if he
does it will take a long time
is having dramas r+ith Mary and night lose her job.
!:t
She is very down.
god . bless her,, is . still
raothering me aLthough r think
Y3nay,
Claude 1s shitty.
I t+ould have g-ot no nhere without them and particularily Lorelle
who i$- a gi ft fron the cat god.
we talk and she says if wq have to leave this state we will take
her money and. buy a pub in Tasnania where J can r+rite and we can
have our animals. He have also talked of going
freelance. She has done a bit of photography. r J to Asia to
?7
,2.95
nightvirr. rold him
9:!,p1".:99;fn_d.."poke"Jb*egg.g*{asr
ancl he would eome baek.Iookinq:"for me. -r1.,;..'
Drew said ,he hoped
not,
r::"::,
1,1-,,
'
iliff*":#ill;:;
r
loved
..
DJ.
,
i;
Dren.,,said*heneq
ilEi l3;, ;iil;,J:"Ta:i"ii
gthat",r ?ff
-lazy,"--l_ei.d-iHclt
character.:",,ffi
3iy.
:5e
hin
l6ved'in
him
iffi'"1;1f"*l#T;:#3
yieright. Itr
Mayle'
he
*
L',,i
51""*tr'.rne**':ld
nk.
1'.:J;;
I also
arso rang" Neil.
-l
Neil o'Keefe
o,KeAfe-Tas
last:-iiight. we talked
a couple of
hours. lan-g
r didn't muck around but-basicalry told for
him r needed a
screw.
He was to ring this morning to let me knory vi,hen he could get up
but hasn't rung yet.
Lorelle did OK at police union and.she might yet get funding.
She and f are going to Margate this arvo to pick up some ttrings
for her.
r am having lunch with Bolbidge. The urge to ring DJ is still
yery strong. and r got as far as diatling up to tle last digtt
before hanging up.
i
48
4.3.9s
Another neek from hetl
on oired stieers. Did arr of the above.
DJ is still being a prick.
r rang him over-nori<. Maybe it was an excuse but:r really
did
have to talk to him
His voice sounded so deriqhted when he heard it was ms.
He is back with wife. .Not unexpected. l i,"""_p-r"iio"'prs
on ,toxic
dumpinglivesagainandtheNais_;;'toranEPA.
corumn wriiten - nv rai"L---' th*
synaecorosisr
;rj;;!r. ";Tj;l-""*
ex-RAAF vranker who is mamied ro a Dr ,ps11ch
:.,frorn
f|$l"f.tm€
.
brilliant
T,t. my whiFp.ers are
l3ofiX,,^un;|.,
nd
Dous stack and the
,
jj-" _*"?:: l?lg: py\e qnd Ha{rsard and Gordon, Hu".i,
seniie s-ereci
;dtheir
*t&1i?oXilill
J and the Madan Lash w€re
"o**itiee
arrrays-piovi"g
of
vr
e,srr
-'L6agu$.::,.
don't wish him any harm.
"ut
t, he keeps carling for a show down.....Rg"rly tormenting me.
c.qlling_ U.s.rrllly_ for an hour
!".pq
vras hell on Friday. r spo-ke t"-bio. so at a time.
iguin. DJ kept
--,
nglrjg up when I needed .hirn for +rork. "bout.bim
-fi*L-.
le ib havins a
?ore cop hater car.red Ausrin
-: ,-,,"rrii,,; 6i-"
ent her ,a l6tter.,
There
"tr iiai";;i;;;lro*ron". i, pro*ri;g';;ouno t*",home. ",,''"
8. 3.95
The situation
with DJ is frightening me.no*. n i* t.rr.ing to me
about:an hour ..d.y- one. minrite he.iay"
t"-.,*"nE out'ot poritics,
uTd. lhgn .yesterday morning tyrrln te--f,I0"il""fi'i""u1""
and ve]Iinc,
at him) he talks -about tfre I t"ic"i"t ip'. He srarred tJiii,ig="ti;3
and r said it vra$ not true unJ-i-h;;-i; in rhe diary.
just put whar r wanred in thl-- diarii-r .'p""t"rJ tlT# He said r
ro say.
h'q_were tarkins in tnJ
?l
mosrlyl and
-the,nilt-s-Jt"i'#
"l.rr.ing
he fy,esdaq
was playing sexual glmes on p1
phohe ild
about
of f . There was t-ar.x we
arways
fove
each
other
no
matter what.
""uro
He rang Lorelre when he got off the phone to sae
if she ndeded
jerking
any help with the electiori.
Then morninq yesterday he vrent- me ag-ain. He r{as
on the phone for
about an horjr ?gain. it *u" aetiniteiy-'oo"" and he,,cared
for his
f e very deeply,,
-wi
hie was at his old mixed messages again. This
is the same man
telling me tr*o and a bit
rhe
sunday)
that his
r".1.: -ufr-ion
marriage h'as over and he shourd
halrl
i;r
ii-ai"l-?t
ir
hadn,r
been me it wourd have been someone erse. That
he
cour.d
not
tert
hie wife he roved her. but tre oio noi-[.Jt* her.
f couldn,t take it.
.
r started reading LorerLe's report and the situation
with
paralGl mine so much it was trigrttening and very
:3i:;ffi?tt
An ambitious and ryould-be powerf uI man and f am a palrn
in, the
game.
I think if r really':ca.used:m€ trouble he: and his wife
would
49
lffiif
He
to themselves it
was
is
arr right ro desrroy rne t i f
rhey
supposedry coming to
_ses me Monday t? give me ba.ck my print
give me sone pavment
for
air-'tiil*rorr< 1
stuf f * r
il$.
"r.i'tt*n
But t::l night he didn't ring *rhen he ys-y
said he would and he hasn,t
'te 'L'L.rLl
lpng -this rnorning.
The
funny thing is r had already decided r wouldn,t
pick up the
and alr thoush r am
r
donr;-;;nl
iil;
to taik to
[l*:.
"ti-ii
I think the healing process has started,
tr,""Irt-
:fr:r"*ii fri*i"ff:
Ha contradicts
Tnffi
r,"
iiu* u rittre
unhinsed and r
the next.-rake
himserf
one sentence to
Lorelte f inds oul todayfrom
*hether
wirr
her case
to the supreme court to s€e ifG;-lj;borman
the
porice
can
be
torced
to
specify the disciprinary
uf,"iit"t
herr
v*y
stressful
time. She is very f ired ,io*.
--"rritges
8.3.95 pn
Lorelle,s case is goinq to Supreme Court. to try to get
specifics
of charges. If noi, -sl,*is out of time as_ the discipfini""
cnarges are on_Monday. She worked
ftar our yesrerday. n;;-;[;";;[
lest for a whila.
ffi*s
lr?U game-mirng w
But the funny ihing'is
r'im- nol tearing apart wanting him to ring
wanting
to
ring
him.
Te .o.r.
r think the heatin{ is
starting- r suppose r wirr ring Lrim
eventually or beep him to find
ouE'ablut
t.'t9ndgy. I do want- it back and to give-ili*riglting rny"irint back on
nr_*.
At the end of the nonth there is i Nats conference
in Mackay.
Could be interesting.
on broken pronnises. Hoperurry a
,,i*tll:t
i"if;,i3'll3
r stirl mies DJ but it"tT;r;::n
is hard to have respect for a. nan who is
so r+eak and dumped a woman
he ro""J-u!eau$B he feared the worlcl
knew
disapprdving
,l:
Hrs mamiage is shit.
I would never,really trust him again.
the pain eases sc,on.
Ir l"p"
don't even !*gr that much anger. He
is just a weak man who
i'q a victim of his r*ite ano rnoiher. -cannot
handle pressure.
3.4.95
DJ did make contact
i;i
after about a week.
It is hard to believe
that three *;;G has gone.
A lot has happened.
sacked Lbrrelle last Tuesday.
Th"y
rt broke me' r r*ent round
Gordo did and Drew was there.
Got stuck into ttre piss. rthere-ind
*rrur.irg-*or"- tr,?" -r.# when
r got
p -1"r_
1335";",i" :T::"i":??" s * . Rans r',r"iov cryins ,,ir,ly snou iai; i
we put up a good defence but they turned brack
into r+hite. They
.
50
I