The opinions expressed in the reviews are not necessarily the

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The opinions expressed in the reviews are not necessarily the
The opinions expressed in the reviews are not necessarily the opinion of the Library. The appropriateness of the materials
reviewed is not for the Public Library to determine and the students are encouraged to review whatever they’d like—
therefore, we encourage parents to be involved in and be aware of their children’s book, movie, television, gaming, and
music choices. All non-original images are property of their assorted copyright owners.
Harry Potter and the
Deathly Hallows
By J.K. Rowling
creeper is a pain. It hurts. It takes 3 hearts
away. For realz. Bye!
Critic: Necrotizing Fasciitis
Minecraft
Rating: Brooooos
minecraft.net
Harry Potter and the Deathly
Hallows. Amazing book. A
must read. For those of you
who have seen the movie, you
should read the book. First of all, the producers
have done a pretty good job of keeping the movies true to the books. However, yet again the
book remains supreme over the film. Like in
many other books that have been made into
movies. As you know, Ron, Harry and Hermoine
are hunting Horcruxes which are parts of Voldemart‟s soul. You also know Snape is a traitor. Or
is he? In Part 2 comes a shocking truth to
Snape‟s past, and the story behind the Horcruxes, because there is more to them than appears. This book is exciting on every page.
Why? Because you know that Death Eaters could
attack at any moment, take Harry, Ron and Hermoine into custody and kill them, torture them.
Knowing that danger is in store for Harry, Hermoine, and Ron, that they could very well die
looking for Horcruxes, or just by nature.
Creepers in
Minecraft
minecraft.net
Critic: Creeper Pig
Rating: Brooooooooooooooooooooooooos
What is a creeper? A reason to run away. It will
blow up when it gets near your virtual minecraft
player, after 3 seconds. Sometimes it destroys
your house. Sometimes it blows up all your
precious diamonds. Sometimes it ruins all your
hard work you put into that tribute to the holy
“Notch” creator of minecraft. Anyway, the
Critic: Balthazar
Rating: Brooooooooooooooooooooooos
Creepers on pigs are in me. Meaning I am superior. (Ignore that, readers.) Ok. So. Minecraft. Blocks. Chip, chip, chip. I have received a cobblestone unit. Minecraft is addicting and fun. Pretty much a survival game.
Using real life logic, you need to survive and
then get creative to build your own house, dig
your own mine, and explore the world. Very
engaging. But you die. If you fall into lava.
Or deep water. Or off a cliff. Or into fire. Or
into cactus. Or into spiders, creepers, skeletons or zombies. Good luck. Once again,
creepers are INSIDE of me, so this review and
game is much better than wherever you might
see something like that. K. bye.
Second Life
secondlife.com
Critic: IHATEBEIBER
Rating: Oh What the
(interruption) Enemy-ish
it’s unexplainable
Second Life is some weird social network game
thingy. Magical Leopluridon says, and I quote,
“It is the worst program, I have ever come
across!” I agree even though I don‟t like
Magical Leopluridon. You create some freakin‟
avatar that makes no sense. Mine went from
a guy to a muscleless dragon to a boxman
with a dragontail to a boxman with bum
clothes. Yeah if you don‟t get it your normal.
I‟m just don‟tg
et i t.
The King of Limbs
Radiohead (music album)
human cause. This book is really good, so do
not be fooled by Meyer‟s terrible reputation of
vampire love novels.
Critic: Bro 90X Hoss
Starclimber
Rating: Friends
If you know me, you know
that Im a big Radiohead
fan. The band officially released their new
studio album on their website in late February. I
was very excited when I downloaded the $9
mp3. Though the album is very good, it is
extremely overproduced and doesn‟t live up to
their previous albums. I recommend it highly,
but if you‟re new to Radiohead, get their older
music first.
The Host
By Stephanie Meyer
Critic: Magical Leopluridon
Rating: Bros
Due to the complete and
utter fail that was the
Twilight Saga, I can understand why people would be
hesitant to read The Host.
However, I have discovered
that Stephanie Meyer is actually capable of writing a good book. In fact, her writing is so advanced that sometimes I have to read a sentence twice to get its true meaning. She wrote
this as an adult book. She also marketed this
book as a story about a love triangle but it‟s not
like Twilight at all, in fact the love triangle isn‟t
as much of a main plot line. Melanie Stryder,
the main character, is one of the few remaining
survivors of an alien invasion. The aliens are
creatures that possess humans and take them
over. When Melanie finally gets possessed
though, she fights back and eventually convinces the soul possessing her to help the
By Kenneth Oppel
Critic: Creeper Pig
Rating: Broooooooooo
ooooooooooooooooos
Starclimber is a really,
really good book. But, you
have to read the first book
first. So really, this review
has no purpose, but it
does. Because I said so. Anyway, the series
is about Matt Cruse, a teenage kid born on an
airship, whose dad is dead and his mom and
sisters live in an extremely small apartment.
Therefore, Matt lives on an airship and raises
money for family, and does tons of cool stuff
just because he has hollow bones. But not
really. But there‟s some romance too. So read
it. And by the way, the second book is Skybreaker. (The first book is: Airborn)
Deathnote
By Tsugumi Oba
Critic: Balthazar
Rating: Broooooooooooo
ooooooooooooos
Death Note is the manga
made by a Japanese guy
that is insanely good.
Death Note is amazing. It‟s
not your classic manga where people just kill
each other over and over. Death Note uses
logic and strategy to kill people instead of simply killing people. There‟s a huge difference.
Basically Death Note detectives try and find a
guy that kills others. Prettttty original indeed.
But read it. Seriously.
By Scott Westerfeld
The Trouble with
Cupid
Critic: Elmo‟s Goldfish
By Laura Langston
Rating: Friends
Critic: Stargirl
Midnighters
In the book Midnighters by
Scott Westerfeld, Jessica
moves to a town where
everyone who was born at
midnight has a secret that
only belongs to them which starts at midnight.
She finds out that the “weird group” in school
are part of the secret hour and all have a power,
but what is her power? And why are all the
monsters trying to kill her and only her? I think
this book was really good and a quick read. If
you want a break from a long, dense book read
this!!!
Rating: Enemies
Erin loves dogs, but when
the school mascot is
chosen to audition for the
Cheesebarkers contest for a prize of $5,000
Erin is chosen to train the dog. Erin has to
train Cupid; a lazy, overweight, disagreeable
dog. I have no idea why I even read this
book. It is completely
pointless.
Percy Jackson
(movie)
Rated: PG
Critic: Little123
Rating: Eneeeemmmies!!
This Lullaby
I‟m reviewing the Percy Jackson movie, the worst movie
to be based off a book. It
sttuuuunnnnkkkk! The book was so good and
they cut out so much. Oh, right I was supposed
to tell you about it...well it was about Percy
Jackson who finds out he‟s the son of a god
(just so you know, he‟s a teenager) and he has
to go on a quest to save the World from a war
(and this is just their first book. The book
rocked, the movie sucked.)
By Sarah Dessen
Critic: Stargirl
Rating: Bros
Penny‟s life is one boyfriend, and then the next.
She dumps each one of
them on a schedule. Dexter is everything Penny hates: messy, disorganized and a musician as her father was.
However, she can‟t bring herself to dump him.
Penny doesn‟t believe in love or understand
the meaning of love songs, but it‟s never too
late to start. Right? This Lullaby is the title of
a song written for Penny by her father, and is
Penny‟s life, circling her to everyone she goes.
Princess of Glass
By Jessica Day George
Critic: Princess Narnia
Three years have passed
since Princess Poppy and her
sisters where freed from the
horrific midnight balls. Of
course, the headstrong
Poppy will never ever dance
again, but the memories of
the balls won‟t keep Poppy from enjoying herself. Now, Poppy is on another adventure in the
Kingdom of Breton, where she is to take part in
an exchange program. Life in this strange new
kingdom isn‟t all that bad; there‟s fancy balls
where Poppy found a liking to playing cards, elegant dreses ,and of course the charming Prince
Christian. Poppy isn‟t the only one with her eye
on the prince though. Eleanora, a strange maid
in the household Poppy is a guest, in seems to
have a sudden interest in the prince as well.
Who is behind all of the beautiful gowns the
penniless Eleanora wears to balls? Only Poppy
seems to see through the spell Eleanora has
woven herself into, and it‟s only Poppy who can
stop the magic from fully corrupting the girl who
is its victim.
Princess of Glass is a must read! It‟s suspenseful, exciting, and beautifully written. Follow
Princess Poppy as she discovers secrets about
the darkest magic.
Bro 90X
By: Jacksfilms
Youtube.com/user/jackfilms
Critics: Bro 90X and
Anonymous
Rating:
Broooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooos
If you want to get in shape, go to a gym. If
you want to feel like a Greek God, nay, KILL a
Greek GOD, buy Bro 90X! Basically, Chad
“BROSEPH” Huntington comes into your house
and kicks your butt until he gets the results he
wants. He won‟t stop until you lose fathundred pounds. Watching Bro 90X on Youtube will teach you healthy eating
habits and how to be a bro. Watch it NOW!
The Homer Simpson Book
By Matt Groening
Critic: Plutonious
Chivalry in Canadian
Squirrel Eating
Monkey
Some or more
words: donuts;
plutonium; bathings;
timelines; and a
Flanders summary.
This book is about the guidelines (illustrated)
to a lifestyle of a suburban, obese, pitiful
middle aged man!
Fushigi
Flowers for
Algernon
By TV Products
Critic: IHATEBIEBER
Rating: Slightly
Disliked Acquaintance
By Daniel Keyes
Okay there is a new toy
and it is meh. It supposedly floats but doesn‟t
float. But it at least looks cool. One main reason I don‟t like it is because when playing with
it, it fell in a very painful place. Also when I pay
$20 I certainly would like something that breaks
several laws of physics. I didn‟t give it enemy
because the commercial is the best ever
because there is this hilarious guy who says
Fushigi like “Fooooo-shee-gee!” Trust me you
won‟t get it right away but a week from now
you‟ll wake up at 3:17 and realize. But don‟t get
a Fushigi.
Rating: Bro-ish
Avatar The Last
Airbender:
Season 2
Critic: Anonymous
Charlie, a mentally
retarded middle aged
man, undergoes a life
changing operation to
make him smarter. As he becomes smarter,
he is able to resolve a lot of problems that
arose in his childhood. However, his newfound intelligence has also brought him farther
apart from people. But just as his life starts to
shape up he starts to regress mentally. Was
his operation worth it? Read and find out.
Little Fockers
Rated: PG
Critic: Creeper Pig
Critic: Save Some for da
Fishes
Rating: Bros
Raiting: Acquaintances
Ok, so I just recently
watched the second season of Avatar The Last Airbender, not to be confused with that movie about smart blue monkeys. So, the second season is the second best
of the entire series, which is three seasons long.
Though the it‟s the second best, the last character of the series comes in this series, Toph.
She is rude, moody, and sarcastic, in a dark and
totally kick-butt way. Also, she‟s the shortest.
Anyway, the series is really good and you should
watch it. I think I will go finish up the third
season now (for the third time).
Despite its 10% (Rotten)
rating on Rotten Tomatoes, this movie was actually pretty good. It wasn't as good as it‟s
predecessors, however (Meet the Parents and
Meet the Fockers). The movie is about this
nurse named Gaylord (although he prefers to
be called Greg) who works at a hospital. He
meets a drug rep who tries to sell a new drug
called Sustengo. There‟s a lot more to this
movie, but I don‟t feel like giving it away. I
don‟t strongly recommend this movie, but I
recommend it.
The Mouse that
Roared
By Leonard Wibberly
Critic: Me
Rating: Broooos
The Mouse that Roared by
Peter Sellers is an awesome
book about a tiny European
country called — Grand
Fenwick. It is a country that is living in the past,
specifically the 14th Century, and is awesome.
It is similar to Liechtenstein, which is also
awesome. So therefore, this book is awesome.
The Golden
Compass
By Philip Pullman
Critic: Bro 90X
Rating: Enemy
Don‟t read this book! It‟s
bad! Trust me, I‟m a bro. If
anyone tells you that it‟s a
good book, they‟re lying. It‟s
not a good book, and it‟s even worse than the
movie. The Golden Compass is this weird book
about some weird parallel dimension. There are
bratty rich people, evil people and slave animals.
It‟s bad. Don‟t read it.
without whipping your hair.That was a joke.
Don‟t bother trying, it‟s gonna happen anyway.
Though Willow is only famous because of her
dad, her song is kick-derriere. Plus, she has a
pretty nifty name. Hair whipping forever!
Percy Jackson
and the
Olympians
Series
By Rick Riordan
Critic: IHATEBIEBER
Rating: Brroooooooo
ooooo
Last time I reviewed
the Percy Jackson movie. The series kicks the
movie‟s donkey. Actually it kicks every series‟
donkey. Read „em. They‟re funny, epic stories
about a 12 year old boy who is the son of Poseidon. So like I said before. READ „EM.
The Melancholy
of Haruhi
Suzumiya
By Nagaru Tanigawa
Critic: Little 123
Whip My Hair
Rating: Broooooos
By Willow Smith
The Melancholy of Haruhi
Suzumiya takes place in a
normal high school and is
a great book about Haruhi who has the power
to change her surroundings. The story is in
the point of view of Kyon. Read and find out
what happens to Kyon as he‟s dragged on the
ride of his life. A very fun read!
Critic: Bro 90X Hoss
Rating: Brooooooooooos
Willow Smith did it! She “wrote” the greatest
bad song of all time. Hair whipping is the national pastime of Middle School Critics across the
map of Briarcliff. Try to listen to “Whip my Hair”
Impossible
By Nancy Werlin
Second Skin
Critic: Magical Leoploridon
By Jessica Wollman
Rating: Brooooooooooo
Critic: Stargirl
You need to read this
book. It‟s really, really
good. I don‟t even know
why you‟re reading this review when you could be
reading this book. I mean,
who doesn‟t love ancestral curses, impossible
tasks, and ducks. Just kidding, there are no
ducks. But it‟s still really, really good. So put
down this stupid review and just read the darn
book.
Marx for
Beginners
By Rius
Critic: Me
Rating: Brooooos
Well, it‟s about communism and Marxism. And
philosophy and it inspired
me to be a fundamental
communist. So yeah. Communism.
Rating: Bro
What does it take to be
popular? Sam Klein has
always wanted to be
popular, but never has
been. When the secret
to popularity is just
inches from her fingertips Sam knows not to
let it get away. Only one person can be popular and Kylie is, but when she loses her popularity how far will she go to get it back or at
least try to?
Speak
By Laurie Halse Anderson
Critic: Stargirl
Rating: Bro
Melinda with her messed
up family and life makes
a choice that could
change her life forever.
The thing is, she called
the police on a college
party that she and her
now ex-friends were invited to. Now everyone
hates her for it. She has no friends to speak of
and no life to go with them. She wants to tell
her ex-best friend Rachel why she called the
police, but doesn‟t have the courage to speak
up for her self. Her grades are suffering and
so is her parents‟ relationship with one another. Can she fix her life? But how should
she start?
Harry Potter and the
Order of the Phoenix
By J.K. Rowling
New At Briarcliff Library
Rating: BROOOOOOOOS
By Amy Kaplan, Teen Librarian
Critic: Necrotizing Fasciitis
Rating: Brooooos
I have just recently read
Harry Potter and the Order of
the Phoenix for the first time,
Yes. The first time. If you
have read the previous books, then you would
know that Harry is going back to Hogwarts (The
school of magic) for his 5th year. The main
problem is that Harry keeps having visions of a
long dark room that has many doors. He is not
sure what it means but as he goes further into
his 5th year of Hogwarts, he travels down this
strange hallway. Also Hogwarts gets a new
Defense Against the Dark Arts teacher who
causes many problems and forces Harry, Ron,
Hermoine and other students to go to the
extreme. THIS IS A MUST READ SERIES (If you
haven‟t read it already)
What if zombies took over the
world? What does society
become for survivors?
Theodore Boone:
Kid Lawyer
By John Grisham
Critic: Save Some for da
Fishes
Rating: Enemies
I though that this book was
okay (not really). It was
about this kid named Theodore and he was a kid lawyer (as the name of
the book implies), who would solve all kinds of
cases. He was solving the murder mystery of
this rich woman who was supposedly murdered
by her husband. I would recommend this book
if you like books with really bad storylines.
Why is Katla invited to the secret
“Icelandic Stork Society” by an
elderly women? Why won‟t two
boys leave her alone? And will
she ever feel at home in her new
Minnesota small town after
moving from L.A.?
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babies
bacteria
balloons
balthazars
bassoons
battlestar galactica
beach
bears
beets
big bird
blankets
blowfish
blue man group
blues clues
boarding schools
bonsaitrees
booby traps
boogeyman
books
broooooooo
brothers
bombs
Bro90x Hoss
Putonious Chivalry
In Canadian
Squirrel Eating
Muffins
Dearest Bros,
Keep it chill and let your
HOSS shine! TAKE
DOWN BIEBER!
Little
123
Creeper Pig
Hisssssss…
BOOM!
Pork chops!
I have
nothing to
write...but read anything I
review!!!
Elmo’s Goldfish
I don‟t say or do much
but I make the show. I
mean think of it. I‟m
Elmo‟s best bud. Just
remember next time you
watch Sesame Street IT‟S ALL ABOUT ME!!
Magical
Leopluridon
I make weird noises
that only pink and
blue unicorns can
understand.
Princess Narnia
Princess Narnia is
obviously really really
obsessed with Narnia.
Despite the fact that
Narnia is her biggest
obsession, she loves anything magical.
Me
Stargirl
Me.
Do you know the book?
Well, anyway READ MY
REVIEWS OR ELSE!!!!
Balthazar
A Balthazar is a Balthazar is
a Balthazar that rides a
Balthazar.
Necrotizing
Fasciitis
IHATEBIEBER
Uhhh???? He‟s a girl. I
hate him.
Anonymous