Here! - St. Paul Catholic School

Transcription

March 2015
Dear St. Paul Parents and Guardians,
The PeaceBuilders theme for March is to right wrongs. This is another key
principle of the PeaceBuilders Pledge. Righting wrongs helps teach children to take
personal responsibility for their actions. Children learn that they need to
apologize and make amends when they cause hurts. This principle also helps
children turn hurting behavior into helping behavior. In turn, they are able to make
better choices.
So how can you help children to learn to right wrongs at home? I have
attached various activities below to help with this. One of the suggestions is to
praise your child when they right wrongs. It is not always easy for children to say
they are sorry. Let them know that you are proud of them for taking responsibility
and apologizing. Another suggestion is to model righting wrongs in your own lives
for children to see. When they see you apologizing when you make a mistake, they
will be more likely to pick up on this behavior and do the same.
Apology notes are another way children can right wrongs. We use these at
school and you can use them at home as well. Children write what they are sorry
for and then write how they can make a better choice next time. These apology
notes (included in the activity pack below) are a great way for PeaceBuilders to
make things right at school.
You can also talk with your children about the importance of saying sorry
when a hurt was caused or a wrong choice was made. Then, ask your children what
they can do to make it better. You can teach your children to come up with their
own solutions and problem solve. By reinforcing the righting wrongs principle at
home and at school, children will gain a valuable skill they can use all their lives.
Peace,
Mary Virgi, School Counselor
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Right Wrongs™
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Helping Children
Right Wrongs
™
Dear______________________________________________________________________________________________ ,
Family Member
When somebody has hurt us, we want him or her to make it right. Our PeaceBuilders® site
practices righting wrongs.
How does righting wrongs work? If someone breaks our favorite pen, we want it to be
replaced. If someone taunts us, we want him or her to replace the bad words with nice words.
Helping children right wrongs works better than punishment with regard to changing negative
behavior.
At our site, leaders and other staff members help children come up with ways to make amends
for hurts that have been caused. For example, children often cause fights by calling each other
bad names. One might think the best punishment is to have the name-caller miss outdoor
playtime. But that does not teach the child how to “un-do” the name-calling. Instead, the
name-caller might be asked to write a note of apology stating something nice about the other
child. Or both children might work out a plan so they both make amends.
Our site takes the idea of righting wrongs very seriously!
Many children, who fight and hurt others, whether physically or emotionally, do not know
how to interact well with other people. Just punishing these children for behaving badly
will not teach them how to change hurting behavior into helping behavior. Instead, we help
children who get into trouble learn how to make better choices.
How do we do this? First of all, we give children meaningful jobs. For example, children may
become PeaceCoaches™ during outdoor play, thereby learning how to praise positive behavior
demonstrated by other children. Children may also become “Fun Masters” who teach others
how to play games. This allows them to receive praise for a good job, and they learn to feel
good about themselves.
Here is a true story of how providing meaningful jobs for children can make a difference:
A boy came to a site from another country. He looked different and he spoke a different
language. Some of the kids soon started to tease this new boy, causing many fights. The
site helped to solve this problem in a creative way. Leaders made the new boy the site
photographer. His photos were printed in their newsletter and displayed for all to see and
enjoy. The leaders helped him include other kids in deciding what pictures to use. When
children work together on projects, they begin to develop friendships. Then they begin to
focus on similarities rather than differences.
© PeacePartners™, Inc. n 741 Atlantic Avenue n Long Beach, CA 90813-4510
1-877-4-peacenow n Fax (562) 590-3902 n www.peacebuilders.com n All rights reserved.
41
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Right Wrongs™
In another true story, a group of children were able to right a longstanding wrong. At one
California site, a boy arrived with a long history of being a terrible bully. An entire group of
children became his PeaceCoaches. They wrote PraiseNotes™ to him. They gave him Secret
PraiseNotes and asked him to join their PeaceCircle™. This group effort convinced the bully that
the people at his new site were not really trying to hurt him. Since he had always thought that
others were trying to hurt him, he bullied them to protect himself. Instead, he learned to be
friends with others and to do well at his new site.
How will you see righting wrongs happening at the site? These are several ways:
nLists of ways to right wrongs are posted around the site.
nWhen children cause hurts, they write PeaceTreaties™. PeaceTreaties help them think about
how to replace hurting behaviors with helping actions. PeaceTreaties are used wherever
hurts happen—in the lunch area, during out-door play, inside the site, etc.
nChildren participate in a PeaceCircle activity where apologies are made to others that they
may have hurt. Leaders help children learn how to make amends.
nChildren take turns doing jobs around the site to help right wrongs that may have
been caused.
How can you help children learn to right wrongs and make amends? Here are some ways in
which to begin:
nPraise your child for righting wrongs. Say things like, “That was being a good
PeaceBuilder™. You righted that wrong by ____________________________________________. (whatever the action was)
Learning to right wrongs is often very difficult for children. They need to know when they
have done something well.
nPoint out times when adults right wrongs. Talk to your child about what was done to
right the wrong. Children need adults to set good examples. They need help to understand
how an adult’s actions righted the wrong.
nWhen a wrong happens at home, ask your child to come up with five ways to right
the wrong. For example, if your child takes a toy from another child, ask, “What are five
ways to right that wrong?” This may seem more difficult than just telling the child what to
do. But when children create their own solutions, they are more likely to remember them.
They learn how to solve problems on their own, without any reminding or nagging.
As children learn to right wrongs that they have done, there will be more cooperation and
good citizenship, both at home and in the community.
Peacefully yours,
_______________________________________________________________________________ ,
Staff Member
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Right Wrongs™
Right Wrongs
™
Peace Rx
To: PeaceBuilders®
From: Dr. PeaceBuilder™
Date: Today
Ok, go ahead. Be brave. Right a wrong today. It could be a big one
or a little one. Surely some wrong exists that, if righted around you,
would make the world a bit better. Righting wrongs can easily be
avoided, leaving it to others. Recall the quote: “If not me, then who?
If not now, when?”
(signature)
, M.D.
Right Wrongs™
PeaceBuilders Lesson:
Right Wrongs , Make Amends
®
™
Use this lesson to introduce children to the value of righting a wrong after noticing and speaking
up about a hurt they have caused. The lesson is organized so that a leader, counselor, or volunteer
can lead the discussion with children prior to teaching the comic strip.
ACTION
Role Play
Lead
ADult LEader
POSSIBLE RESPONSES
Who remembers the time that
we talked about speaking up and
noticing hurts? What was the story
about?
What do you suppose the child
who had the item taken was most
worried about? (Discuss that the
thief did not mean the apology and
will probably steal again.)
If somebody hurts you, what do
you worry about?
If a person has hurt you before,
how much do you trust an
apology from him or her?
Lead
Lead
Something was taken from a kid.
That the other kid didn’t really
mean the apology and will take
something else.
That they will hurt me again.
Not very much.
That’s right. You may not trust an
apology from that person. You
need something more.
Now let’s say somebody takes
your candy bar and says sorry. He
or she has taken things before so
you do not believe or trust that
person.
The next day, the kid who took your
candy bar brings two candy bars—
one to replace the one that was
taken plus another one. Will you
trust that person more or less now?
Maybe more.
1
Right Wrongs™
ACTION
Practice
Lead
Ask
Ask
ADult LEader
POSSIBLE RESPONSES
How does bringing two candy
bars right the wrong?
Now we are going to brainstorm
ways to right wrongs here and in
our homes.
Let’s list some wrongs or hurts
that kids do to each other here at
our site. Who can tell me about
some?
Now let’s take one of these ideas,
like saying something mean, for
example. What if the person who
said something mean had to write
two or three PraiseNotes™ to the
person that was hurt? How would
that right the wrong that was
caused?
Look at our list of hurts and
wrongs. Who can name some
ways to right these wrongs?
To make amends, the person who
took something has to pay back the
person who has been hurt. It lets
the person that was hurt know that
the apology given was sincere.
(Draw two columns on the board“Wrongs” and “Ways to Right
the Wrongs.”)
Examples: Say mean things, push,
yell, hit, litter, steal, and damage
other kid’s stuff. (Be sure to praise
each idea.)
The mean kid has to say nice
things about the other kid. It
would help make the other kid
feel better.
After listing some of the children’s
alternatives, start examining why
they are effective ways to right
the wrongs.
2
Right Wrongs™
Here are some other things children might do to right a wrong. I will read them, and you can
decide what wrongs they might help to right.
n Write a list of compliments
n Repair damage
n Help out another person
n Work off damage with labor
n Do some requested favors
n Work on a special project
n Spend time together (game, homework)
n Share a special item with someone
n Give or make someone a gift
n Create a poster about righting the wrong
n Share lunch or supplies
n Help out a leader
n Write an apology
n Hang or decorate a bulletin board
n Write a PeaceTreaty™
n Volunteer to help out
n
Help clean up a mess
n Make a phone call home
n Replace items with new ones
n Give a favorite item to someone
ACTION
Spot Quiz
ADult LEader
POSSIBLE RESPONSES
What will happen if more people
right wrongs here at our site?
There will be more peace.
Praise People™
Give Up Put-Downs™
Seek Wise People™
Notice Hurts™
Right Wrongs™
Help Others™
Who can tell me what
PeaceBuilders do?
3
Right Wrongs™
Right Wrongs
While Playing Outdoors
Whether working indoors or playing
outdoors, the peace will be broken from time
to time. Having children make some form of
amends or restitution (“right the wrong”)
is generally far more powerful in preventing
a recurrence of the behavior than a time
out, and it is infinitely more powerful than
a referral to the site leader’s office, which
research shows has little effect in changing
children’s behavior.
children tend to perceive consequences that
they design themselves as more fair and less
arbitrary than adult-imposed disciplinary
measures. What is especially powerful is
that the whole process of the lesson creates
a group norm, which helps children move
toward a more civic-minded view of creating
a working community.
Mastery and follow-through will be increased
if children take a written quiz on amends
after they have created a list of amends for
specific acts that occur during outdoor play.
Such a quiz might include questions such
as these:
The PeaceBuilders lesson on Right Wrongs
provides the foundation for appropriate
amends. It needs to be conducted in the
context of outdoor play through giving
examples of specific games or activities,
which take place at your site. Then have
children come up with appropriate amends
for a wrong that occurs in that situation.
A way of framing the exercise is to use the
metaphor of basketball, where a player who
has been fouled gets a free throw to “right
the wrong.” Ask children to think of the
equivalent to free throws for children who
are wronged during outdoor games.
If a kid who is playing outdoors yells a putdown at another team member, he/she can
right the wrong by stepping outside the
game for three minutes. (True or False)
If a kid cuts in line, that kid can right the
wrong by going to the end of the line. (True
or False)
Forecasting actions for children orally is
another good way to help them understand
that they will have to right wrongs while
playing outside. For example, “PeaceBuilders,
we are going outside to play. If someone
bumps into another kid, how can he or she
right the wrong?”
Whenever possible, it is wise to have children
devise ways to right wrongs that happen
during outdoor play. First, you are giving
them a tool they will eventually be able
to use independently to resolve their own
disputes without adult intervention. Second,
5
Right Wrongs™
Introducing the Comic Strip
The purpose of this PeaceBuilders lesson is to
provide examples and models for children to right
wrongs that have occurred. This principle is one of
the most difficult for many people to incorporate
into their lives. Disagreements and conflicts will
always be part of our society, but it is the manner
in which we deal with these situations afterward
that can make the biggest difference.
Here are some suggested uses for this lesson.
Using the comic strip as a model
to imitate...
Option 1:
Copy the small version of the comic and
provide a copy for all of the children in the
group. Have children read silently or aloud,
perhaps taking turns. When working with
younger PeaceBuilders it may be helpful to
have older PeaceBuilders read the comic to
them so that it can be shared.
Children often do not see that they play
a large role in changing the world around
them. They may feel that things are out of
their control, and that little they could do
would really make a difference. Learning to
right their wrongs is a valuable lesson for
children to realize that they can, in fact, make
a difference in the world.
Option 2:
Use the large version of the comic, displaying
one frame at a time for the children to view.
Overhead transparencies can be made for
easy viewing. There are several ways to use
the larger frames. An adult can read them
aloud dramatically, or children can read the
panels aloud like a play. The pages may
also be copied and made into a book that
can be taken home and shared with family
members.
When children learn to right wrongs and
make amends for hurts that they have
caused, they will see with their own eyes
how their efforts can make a difference in
the world. They can experience the value of
persistence and comprehend that small steps
can lead them on a journey toward peace.
You do have permission to photocopy the
comics as handouts, to make overhead
transparencies, or even enlarge them as
posters (within your site).
Righting wrongs will no longer be just
something to talk about. It can become
words to live by, making the world a better
place in which to live. Righting wrongs can
take on a much bigger scale than apologizing
and making amends. It can grow into making
a difference in our world.
6
Right Wrongs™
PeaceBuilders Right Wrongs
®
™
2. Take turns
telling what
put-downs
happened
before the
fight.
1.Take turns telling what
the hurts are.
“I felt hurt when...”
4. Take turns telling what helping acts
each person wanted.
5. Take
turns asking
polite
questions.
3. Give up put-downs, while
taking turns listening.
7
Right Wrongs™
®
™
6.Notice and
speak up about
hurts you have
caused.
“I will help you by...”
“Thank you for
your help!”
7. Right the wrong, and
write a PeaceTreaty™ if
needed.
8. Seek a wise
person as an advisor,
if needed.
9.Tell people when you are building peace.
“We are PeaceBuilders!”
8
Right Wrongs™
Discussing the Comic Strip
ACTION
Ask
ADult LEader
POSSIBLE RESPONSES
Why is it important to build peace
after a fight?
To help everyone get along better.
Lead
Why is it important to tell people
about the hurts that have been
caused?
Ask
Is it difficult sometimes to tell
someone about a hurt that he or
she has caused you?
How do you think that you will
feel after you have told the
person about the hurt?
They might not realize they hurt
your feelings. By telling them
about the hurt, they can right
their wrongs.
Yes. Sometimes it’s hard to tell
someone that he or she hurt you.
Lead
Ask
Lead
Ask
Lead
Why is it always better to give
up put-downs™ and use peaceful
words when talking through
problems?
Do you think that the
PeaceBuilders PowerWords™
(please, thank you, excuse me, I
am sorry for... may I help you?)
would be helpful when trying to
right wrongs?
When you notice and speak up
about hurts that you have caused,
how does it make you feel?
How does it make the person who
was hurt feel when you right the
wrong that has happened?
To create a peaceful environment.
Better. Though it might be hard to
say it at first, you will probably feel
better after you do it.
When you use peaceful words, it
is easier to notice hurts™ and right
wrongs. Also, everyone feels better
when peaceful words are used.
Yes. The PowerWords would be
useful. These words show respect
for others and help make a
peaceful environment.
Better. More relaxed. It feels good
to get things off your chest and
apologize.
The other person feels better
when he or she gets an apology. It
helps fix the relationship between
us. Maybe we can be friends.
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Right Wrongs™
ACTION
ADult LEader
POSSIBLE RESPONSES
Ask
How does writing a PeaceTreaty
help to right a wrong?
People work together to admit
a wrong and figure out a way to
make the situation better.
Lead
How does it feel to write a
PeaceTreaty with another person
to right a wrong?
It’s good. It’s useful. The people
have to talk about it and work
together.
Ask
Is it important to seek a wise
person as an advisor when
righting a wrong?
Who are some of the wise people
that you could ask for help when
righting a wrong?
Yes. Sometimes the wise person
has a good idea. He or she can
help you see things differently.
A teacher, a monitor, a
PeaceCoach™ or PeaceBuddy™, a
counselor, etc.
Why is it always better to give
up put-downs and use peaceful
words when talking through
problems?
Is building a peaceful
environment important to
everyone at our site? Why?
It increases the peace. No one
feels bad.
Do you think that we should tell
everyone that we are working to
build peace?
What are some of the ways we
could let everyone know that we
are PeaceBuilders at our site?
Yes. It’s good if everyone knows
that we are PeaceBuilders.
Lead
Ask
Ask
Lead
Wrap
When we work together to build
a peaceful environment, it is a
better place for everyone to learn,
have fun and relax.
We can talk about PeaceBuilders
and building peace. We can give
PraiseNotes and use peaceful
words. We can make posters
about PeaceBuilding™.
19
Right Wrongs™
Suggested Follow-Up Activities
n
D
ecide as a group whether to earn Peace
n
H
ave children role-play situations in their
Scouting Points as a whole group or to
divide the children into smaller groups.
own lives where they could right a wrong
using PeaceBuilding skills.
n
C
hildren may work as a group to create a
n
H
ave younger children draw pictures and
list of rewards for Peace Scouting Points
earned by the group or in teams.
dictate their thoughts about how they
could right a wrong using PeaceBuilding
skills and then share their work with the
group.
n
Provide newspapers for children to use as
they search for current events that model
building peace.
n
A
sk children to write PraiseNotes or
Apology Notes to staff members, who
have helped to right a wrong at the site
each week.
n
A
s a homework assignment, ask the
children to provide a brief oral presentation
of a current event or historical event that
demonstrated PeaceBuilding.
n
A
sk children to write PraiseNotes or
Apology Notes for family members or
members of the community who have
helped to right wrongs (see reproducible
master).
n
C
hildren may role-play historical events
that demonstrate PeaceBuilding actions.
n
Y
ounger children may draw pictures or
dictate their ideas about an historical
person that demonstrated PeaceBuilding
(such as Dr. Martin Luther King Jr).
25
TM
TM
®
®
®
TM
®
TM
Right Wrongs™
26
Right Wrongs™
Suggested Book List
®
™
nMarianthes’s Story: Story 1 &2
nAmber Brown Wants Extra Credit
By Aliki
By Paula Danziger
nMiss Nelson is Missing!
nMake Like a Tree and Leave
By Harry Allard
By Paula Danziger
nXochitl and the Flowers
nOne Grain of Rice
(Mathematical Folktale)
By Demi
By Jorge Argueta
nCleversticks
nOliver Button is a Sissy
By Ashley Bernard
By Tomie dePaola
nFreddy the Pilot
nThe Hundred Dresses
Walter R. Brooks
By Eleanor Estes
nThe Quilt Maker’s Gift
nSeedfolks
By Jeff Brumbeau
By Paul Fleischman
nA Day’s Work
nWeslandia
By Eve Bunting
By Paul Fleischman
nThe Five-Dog Night
nBy The Great Horn Spoon!
By Eileen Christelow
By Sid Fleischman
nBig Al
nPictures of Hollis Woods
By Andrew Clements
By Patricia Reilly Giff
nThe Landry News
nToday was a Terrible Day
By Andrew Clements
By Patricia Reilly Giff
nCome Back Salmon
nMy Teacher’s My Friend
By Molly Cone
By P.K. Hallinan
nEleanor
nChester’s Way
By Barbara Cooney
Kevin Henkes
nGranny Torrelli Makes Soup
nAmazing Grace
Sharon Creech
By Mary Hoffman
nAmber Brown is Not a Crayon
nEverything On A Waffle
By Paula Danziger
By Polly Hotvath
46
Right Wrongs™
nVirgie Goes to School with Us Boys
n Martin’s Big Words
By Elizabeth F. Howard
Doreen Rappaport
nClass President
n Friendship Saves the Day
By Johanna Hurwitz
Karen Ravn
nRikki-Tikki-Tavi
n Esperanza Rising
By Rudyard Kipling
By Ram Munoz Ryan
nShe’s Wearing a Dead Bird On Her Head!
nPeace Begins With You
By Kathryn Laskey
By Katherine Scholes
n Swimmy
n Mufaro’s Beautiful Daughters
By Leo Lionni
By John Steptol
nWilma Mankiller
n Angel Child, Dragon Child
By Linda Lowery
By Michele Surat
nCinderella’s Rat
nGoing Home Coming Home
Susan Meddaugh
By Truong Tran
n Baseball Saved Us
n The Trumpet Of The Swans
Ken Mochizuki
By E.B. White
nEnemy Pie
nNiagara Falls, or Does It?
By Derek Munson
By Henry and Oliver Lin Winkler
nThe Recess Queen
nThe Other Side
Alexis O’Neill
By Jacqueline Woodson
n The Peace Book
nCockroach Cooties
By Todd Parr
By Laurence Yep
nThe Rainbow Fish
By Marcus Pfister
47

Here! - St. Paul Catholic School

Transcription

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