Monthly Support Group - The Compassionate Friends

THE
COMPASSIONATE
FRIENDS
of Green Bay
A Quarterly Newsletter
by and for Bereaved Parents
Supporting Family After a Child Dies
Our
Mission
Statement:
When a child dies, at any
age, the family suffers
intense pain and may feel
hopeless and isolated.
The Compassionate
Friends provides highly
personal comfort, hope,
and support to every
family experiencing the
death of a son or a
daughter, a brother or a
sister, or a grandchild,
and helps others better
assist the grieving family.
October/November/December 2014
Greetings and welcome to Fall 2014, only 3 months left in this year and then we venture into
2015. Hopefully we have made it through and survived another year without our loved ones.
For Mickey and me, 2015 will mark the 10th Anniversary of the deaths of Melissa and Emily.
10 years, it is so hard to believe and some of us have been on their journeys longer than we
have been. Plus it is interesting on how we measure time in 5, 10, 15 year increments, just like
wedding anniversaries are measured and other significant events, like Pearl Harbor, D-Day,
9/11 and the list can go on and on.
I was so happy to see the turnout for the August meeting when we were fortunate to have Mitch
Carmody present to the chapter. His National Conference workshop session, Whispers of
Love, Signs from our Children was very well received. For those of you who could not attend,
you missed the flavor of a National Conference. On that Saturday, Joleen and I had a TCF
table for the regional TAPS Conference at the KI Center. TAPS stands for Tragedy Assistance
Program for Survivors and deals with military loss be it parent, child, sibling, spouse or grandchild. Mitch was a workshop presenter there which is why he was in Green Bay. Joleen and I
met some people who were familiar with TCF and some that knew nothing about us. We talked
about the need to reach out somehow to the local grief community and make others aware of
us. We know that the hospitals, churches and other organizations have some kind of grief support but do those folks know about us.
Pat O’Donnell former TCF board president had a great article in the summer 2014 issue of We
Need Not Walk Alone on how they found TCF. Their first experience with a grief support meeting had people there who lost parents, spouses and even pets. Luckily the person heading up
the meeting steered them toward TCF. We even have had people who finally found us and
saying it was hard to go to some of these meetings when you are the only one there that has
lost a child. Losing a child is so much more different than losing your parents, grandparents,
aunts, uncles, cousins and even spouses. I know my 87 year father is going to die someday
but it will be nothing like the deaths of Melissa and Emily. Even when my mom died from cancer in 1995, I knew it was going to happen eventually but the sudden deaths of our daughters’
pales in comparison. So if you are aware of other support groups, please let us know so we
can reach out to them and inform them about TCF.
One last thing to mention is that due to some changes at the Church with their meeting schedules, we are moving our meeting night to the 3rd Tuesday from Thursday beginning in October
of this year. We did this to accommodate Dave and Donna as they would now have a major
conflict on Thursday night and would it prevent them from attending our Thursday meeting.
The steering committee looked at this long and hard and decided that keeping it during the
same week of the month would be less disruptive than trying to keep it on a Thursday but moving to a different week or perhaps even moving the meeting to another location. The church
has a great meeting place for us and they have been so accommodating as far as our schedule
Monthly Support Group
The Green Bay Chapter of The Compassionate Friends
meets the third Thursday of each month at 7 p.m.
at First United Methodist Church, 501 Howe Street, Green Bay.
(Enter the parking lot off Monroe at Doty)
For further information contact:
Main Number: 920-370-3858
Steve Schmeisser, Chapter Leader
Joleen Krings, Programs
Steve Schmeisser, Treasurer
Sue Van Straten, Remembering our Children
Mickey Schmeisser, Remembering our Children
Carol Wautlet, Resource Coordinator
Rev. Dave Wilkinson, Chaplain
E-mail: [email protected]
Website: www.tcfgreenbay.org
Thursday, October 21, 2014 7 p.m.
Doug and Renee LaViolette:
Brian’s Journey, The Journey is the Reward
Thursday, November 18, 2014 6:30 p.m.
Open Discussion: Making new Holiday traditions
Thursday, December 16, 2014 7 p.m.
We Need Not Walk Alone:
One on One sharing time
and other needs. But we also realize that we need to be flexible and if Tuesday does not work out for others then we will
need to try to find a day that accommodates the majority.
Since this is the last newsletter of the year, remember our Candle Lighting on Sunday December 14th at the church and
here is wishing you a Happy Halloween, Thanksgiving and Merry Christmas and may your journey lead you to peace
and comfort in 2015.
In Peaceful Sadness, Melissa and Emily’s Mom and Dad
Steve and Mickey
The Mice in the Maze
By Carol Wautlet, in Memory of Robby Rohr
TCF Green Bay Chapter
I recently attended a fund raising event for a small child
and his family, arranged by family and friends of theirs. A
young couple I know is struggling with the weight of learning their child has cancer. In the confusion and whirlwind
that happened in days, their child was rushed to Children’s
Hospital for further testing, then diagnosed with an aggressive form of Leukemia. Enduring medical jargon, Chemo
and many tests, scans and hospital life would become
“home” for the next days that became weeks. Back home,
family and friends quickly organized this fund raiser. Held
in spring, when people look forward to a renewal of all
things, flowers sprouting, outdoor events, the end of the
school year, this young family was forced to tackle the uncertainty their child faced, discarding any plans for a fun
summer.
The benefit had raffles and prizes, T-shirts and other items
for sale. The main event was to be a “Mouse Race”, so to
speak. Anxious and excited observers could place bets on
the small white mice they thought would win, each mouse
identified by colored tape on their tails. The maze was
cleverly constructed on a horizontal board about 8 ft by 4 ft,
complete with obstacles like small plastic barriers and corridors and openings that would lead to the cheese.
A lively event, organizers dressed in costumes in celebratory fashion, with hats adorned with plumes, and men in suits
of color who took bets and riled the crowds in excitement of
which mouse might be the first to find the “cheese” at the
end of the maze. The winners would get a portion of the
money from bets for each race, and the family would get
the rest of the proceeds from each race. I as well as others
visually inspected the white mice, held captive in a glass
aquarium like structure, trying to guess which mice might
be winners. I placed my first bet on a mouse with blue
tape on his tail that looked active in the cage. I recall looking with others at the maze, visually locating the starting
line and the finishing area complete with block of cheese,
but noted having a slight feeling of unsteadiness as the
“last call for bets” was announced for the first race. While
many in attendance appeared jovial, it was silently understood that this was a fundraiser for a family whose child
was in the fight of his life. Literally. I said a quiet prayer for
the family and four year old Cullen, pushing back the feelings of the anguish they must be facing each day. I prayed
that this little boy’s parents will not have a reason to “be
one of us”, to be a TCF group member.
At the strike of a bell to signify the official start of the race,
the mice where placed at the starting line, 8 of them, all
color coded. As they began to weave through the obstacles, climbing over one another and turning in circles, the
crowd cheered and yelled to their respective mice, as if to
direct them through the maze. “No, no, turn around” a man
shouted behind me. Others cheered as their mice got closer to the end, or took a turn that was a closed end. One
mouse got close to the cheese, only to crawl over the wall
back in the opposite direction away from the cheese before
finding it, erupting in shouts and laughter from observers.
And then it struck me. This is what my grief was like. It
was like being in a maze with people all around trying to
direct me through it. And like the mice, it seemed I couldn’t
find my way through it. Futile attempts were made by
many to offer advice on how to get through it, or what to do,
or not do. It was like being in a fog, where you can’t see
where you are, or where you are going. Others outside of
the maze direct you, but they don’t understand that you
can’t understand THEM; that nothing makes sense after
losing a child. Those outside of the maze can’t understand
that we all have to find our way through the maze. And
each way may be different for each person. It takes time.
It’s confusing; there is no “right way”. And sometimes, like
the mouse that made his way toward the cheese, only to go
over the wall away from it, seemed to mirror days when I
thought I made progress, only to find myself feeling the
strong waves of grief at times unexpectedly. And of
course, there are those people, the TCF people, who’ve
been in the maze, who know what that feeling is like. The
constant confusion, feeling like you’re going in circles, not
getting anywhere, and that with each turn, you’re more lost.
That is what my grief was like, and sometimes still is, more
than 5 years later.
A Christmas Gift from
Heaven
Cathy L. Seehuetter
TCF St. Paul, MN
In Memory of my daughter, Nina
The first snow of the season is gently falling outside my
office window. On the one hand, it is beautiful to look at; on
the other hand, for me, as I know it is for those whose
loved one’s chair will sit empty at the holiday table this
year, it signals the advent of the remaining three of the “Big
Four” holidays. This time of year is perhaps one of the ultimate tests of endurance for the bereaved, and it is particularly difficult for those who will undergo Thanksgiving,
Christmas and New Year’s for the first time since their
child, sibling or grandchild died.
It has been eight holiday seasons since my Nina died.
Though I remember little to nothing about the first Thanksgiving, I still quite clearly remember that painful first Christmas. Even with the blessed numbness of early grief to
anesthetize me from some of the sting, I still recall the
emptiness. That only an 8 x 10 photo of her smiling face
with a lit votive candle placed next to it marked Nina’s presence that Christmas of 1995, along with the knowledge she
would never physically be present at another holiday family
celebration, was beyond comprehension. Although everyone tried desperately to bring some normalcy to an anything-but-normal holiday, by the end of the day we were
exhausted from the effort. As we drove quietly from my
parent’s house that evening, I will never forget the car ride
home and watching my son in the rearview mirror. Where
in other years past there would have been the back-seat
horseplay of brother and sister after a fun holiday spent
with extended family, instead he sat alone with tears
streaming down his face with the conspicuously unoccupied seat next to him. The silence was deafening and
spoke volumes of our intense sorrow.
I can truthfully say that each holiday since the first two have
become a little more tolerable—I would never say “easier”
because there is nothing “easy” about any of this. I think
the word “gentler” fits better. Though obviously never the
same as before, it has become bearable, even with moments of joy and laughter sprinkled in. The fact that it gets
gentler with time may or may not help any of the newly bereaved reading right now because, honestly, that first and
second year I couldn’t imagine another holiday season,
much less life, without Nina. Moreover, on my early grief
voyage when someone who had been down the road before me gave the old “it will get better with time” routine, it
fell on deaf ears. I could see no hope, no light at the end of
the tunnel. My reality was that my daughter was dead and
she was never coming back. Whether it would get better
down the road mattered little at that time; it just plain hurt.
Though you may not wish to embrace stories of hope just
yet, please let me share with you something that happened
to me the week before that first Christmas. For 15+ years, a
group of my friends get together right before Christmas. We
only see each other once a year but always seem to be
able to catch up right where we left off the year before. I
decided to go to that
gathering of friends that first Christmas after Nina’s death. I
felt she would want me to surround myself, if I felt able (an
important point—please don’t feel you have to do anything
you don’t feel up to—you are the best judge of what you
can and cannot handle), with comforting and caring people
and perhaps give me a small reprieve from some of the
“awfulness” of the holidays.
When I got there one of my friends, Anne, walked over to
me, gave me a hug and handed me a box. To the best of
my recollection she said something like, “I know this is going to seem odd and I don’t know what to make of it, but as
I was baking these cookies, something told me to bring
some to you. I have no idea why, but the feeling was very
powerful to do this, so here they are.” I opened the box and
I couldn’t believe what I saw: Spritz cookies—unbeknownst
to Anne, Nina’s very favorite Christmas cookie! I had
bought a cookie press the previous year so that Nina and I
could make them together and I very much regretted that
we never had gotten a chance to do that. I agonized about
that so often that first season after her death. Through my
tears, I explained this to Anne.
I know, without a doubt, that those delicious little butter
cookies were Nina’s Christmas gift from heaven to me. It
was her way to tell me to let go of the guilt of never making
Spritz cookies together, and to let me know that even
though she was gone from my sight, that she was still very
much with me and holding me close during that excruciatingly difficult season. I share this hopeful message of love,
which I believe is sent through Nina from ALL our children,
siblings and grandchildren; that though we can’t “see” them
yet in the way that we wish, they do most definitely live on.
I hold each of you and your precious children close to my
heart this holiday season. Please be gentle with yourself.
The worst of all fears is the fear of living.
~Theodore Roosevelt
Remembering our Children
During the two months that each newsletter covers, we include your child’s birthday and the anniversary of your child’s
death — if we know those dates. Based upon TCF National policy, we will not print the year of your child’s birth or death.
BIRTHDAYS
Mark Shafer
10/1
(son of Bruce & Pat Shafer)
Jessica Andringa
10/1
(daughter of Mike Dillon & step daughter of Tina Baker)
Michael Anderson
10/4
(son of Ron & Lori Anderson)
Josh Gilson
10/4
(Ron & Cindy Gilson)
Allen O’Harrow
10/4
(son of Cal & Lois O’Harrow)
Michelle Schmidt
10/8
(daughter of Diane Kroll)
Lee Dagner
10/9
(daughter of Sheri Dagner-Seese)
Seth Philhower
10/9
(son of Shaun & Stacy Philhower)
Corey Jonet
10/9
(son of Dan & Lisa Jonet)
Matthew Arnold
10/10
(son of Carrie & Bob Arnold)
Chad Seitzer
10/10
(son of Sandi & Fred Seitzer)
Noah Thomas Campbell
10/10
(son of Kelli & Craig Campbell)
Benjamin Edinger
10/15
(son of Rosanna Scannell)
Kerri Kirsch
10/22
(daughter of Joyce Howell)
Evan Van Lanen
10/22
(son of Dan & Peg Van Lanen)
Tara Beilke
10/22
(daughter of Chuck & Judy Dams)
Van Jarchow
10/24
(son of Mike & Dixie Jarchow)
Katie McClary
10/25
(daughter of Meagan McClary)
Isabella Anderson
10/25
(daughter of Tara Vanderleest)
Van Jarchow
10/26
(son of Mike & Dixie Jarchow)
Shane Hopfensperger
10/28
(son of Mike & Joann Hopfensperger)
Troy Milan
10/28
(son of Pam Milan)
Richard Allen Zey
10/28
(son of Tina Zey)
Jaysen Calkins
10/30
(son of Kate Calkins)
Thea L Jacques
11/01
(daughter of Sally Martin)
Cassandra LeMere-Zeller
11/01
(daughter of Donald & Judith LeMere)
Craig St. John
11/02
(son of Debra St. John)
Matthew Skenadore
11/05
(son of Jude Skenadore)
Jack Clusman
11/05
(son of Jessica & Tim Clusman)
Andrea Hoffman
11/06
(daughter of Robert & Sylvia Hoffman)
Natalie Aitken
11/08
(daughter of Rachel & AJ Aitken)
Heather Rose Bomski
11/09
(daughter of Paula Bomski)
Nick Baugnet
11/10
(son of DeeDee & Joe Baugnet)
Alexia Prosecky
11/12
(Wayne & Jennifer Prosecky)
Debi Schultz
11/12
(daughter of Barbara Fitzpatrick)
Luke Linde
11/14
(son of Rita Linde)
Ryan Patrick Bergevin
11/16
(son of Randy Bergevin & Barbara Vandenbusch)
Ryan Rockstroh
11/16
(son of Molly Rockstroh)
Jillian Faymonville
11/17
(daughter of Louise Faymonville)
Karson Fenlon
11/17
(son of Jennifer & Donald Fenlon,
grandson of Jan Hendricks)
Zander Varga Schenzel
11/17
(grandson of Nancy Varga)
Chad Olson
11/17
(son of Brenda Olson)
Dane Cole
11/18
(son of Don & Karol Cole)
Bernadette Dirkman
11/23
(daughter of William Dirkman)
Amber Mastey
11/25
(daughter of Brett & Amanda Mastey)
Jimmy Wanner Jr.
11/25
(son of Pam & Keith Blondeim)
Joe Hinton
11/28
(son of Tom & Kathy Hinton)
Maria Lynette Fenzl
11/28
(daughter of Sonya & JC Fenzl)
David Jacob Schlinz
12/02
(son of Dan & Brenda Schlinz)
Carsten Arps
12/03
(son of Kenton & Gwendolyn Arps)
Emmitt Arps
12/03
(son of Kenton & Gwendolyn Arps)
Chris Krueger
12/05
(son of Cheryl Krueger)
Crystal (Falish) Peterson
12/06
(daughter of Steve & Darlene Enderby)
Sheri Lynn Klemme
12/07
(daughter of Tom & Bev Van Hemelryk)
Danielle Deda
12/07
(daughter of Noel & Sally Deda)
Tara Reetz
(daughter of Daniel & Jean Reetz)
Brian Kofler
(son of Wendy Kofler)
Travis Stelzer
(son of Don & Pam Stelzer)
Kyle Driessen
(son of John & Amy Driessen)
Jessica Demo
(daughter of Sheila & Chuck Henrichs)
Amy Schaut
(daughter of Ron & Linda Gerbers)
12/08
12/13
12/13
12/15
12/16
12/20
Jamie Bialozynski
(daughter of Mike & Arlene Bialozynski)
Jeremy DeMille
(son of Marysue Gerondale)
Kristen Sericati
(daughter of Jeff & Vicki Sericati)
Nathan Axelrod
(son of Johanna Axelrod)
Chris Sauer
(son of Ron & Kathy Sauer)
Marjie Duerr
(daughter of Linda Duerr)
12/21
12/23
12/26
12/28
12/30
12/31
anniversaries
Jacob Engel
(son of Billie Jo Engel)
Caitlin Van Duyse
(daughter of Brenda VanDuyse)
Matthew Kiefer
(son of Mary Jo Hempel)
Justin Banaszynski
(son of Donna Baranczyk)
Brandon Blue
(son of Rondell & Barb Blue)
Danielle Deda
(daughter of Noel & Sally Deda)
Seth Philhower
(son of Shaun & Stacy Philhower)
Jason Ison
(son of Rene Ison)
George Stoneburner
(son of Chuck & Judy Dams)
Wendy Jacques
(daughter of Sally Martin)
Jaysen Calkins
(son of Kate Calkins)
Shaun Davis
(son of Dan & Jeanne Davis)
Kelby Bagneski
(daughter of Bill & Kelly Bagneski)
Jami Daigneault
(daughter of Penny & Armand Daigneault)
Ryan Bader
(son of Cheryl & Mark Bader)
Jeffrey Van Lieshout
(son of Dave & Connie Van Lieshout)
Gary Glebke
(son of Joyce Glebke)
Doug Cole
(son of Don & Karol Cole)
Ryan Rockstroh
(son of Molly Rockstroh)
Ryan Tucker
(son of Dawn Tucker)
Scott Zwieschowski
(son of Linda Zwieschowski)
Jeffery Skenadore
(son of Jude Skenadore)
Amy Schaut
(daughter of Ron & Lynda Gerbers)
Karen Mary Schley
(daughter of Jon & Ann Schley)
10/2
10/4
10/4
10/5
10/8
10/9
10/9
10/10
10/10
10/12
10/16
10/17
10/19
10/22
10/24
10/24
10/25
10/25
10/27
10/28
10/28
10/29
10/31
11/01
Steve Knaus
(son of Luke & Shirley Knaus)
Jeffrey Triatik
(son of Carol Triatik)
Joel Bagneski
(son of Bill & Kelly Bagneski)
Cody Green
(son of Dan and Gwen Green)
Jason Banaszynski
(son of Donna Baranczyk - Pagel)
Andy Haroldson
(son of Ralph & Jean Haroldson)
Marjie Duerr
(daughter of Linda Duerr)
Jack Clusman
(son of Jessica and Tim Clusman)
Ryan Brunner
(son of Bill & Sue Brunner)
Todd Inman
(son of Kathie Inman)
Leslie Blasing
(daughter of Jeanne Donart)
Todd Konop
(son of Dorothy & Tom Konop)
Shane Lambert
(son of Kim Lambert)
Joseph Adams
(son of Cheryl Skenadore)
Tami (Sam) Cornelius
(daughter of Brenda Cornelius)
Tara Reetz
(daughter of Daniel & Jean Reetz)
Ella Fickett
(daughter of Mindy Meisnest)
George Mostek
(son of Jim & Debbie Mostek)
Jessica Demo
(daughter of Sheila & Chuck Henrichs)
Benjamin Edinger
(son of Rosanna Scannell)
Kelli King
(daughter of Joe King)
Isabella Anderson
(daughter of Tara Vanderleest)
Maria Lynette Fenzl
(daughter of Sonya & JC Fenzl)
Lance Steffens
(son of LouAnn Steffens)
11/01
11/01
11/02
11/06
11/06
11/06
11/07
11/07
11/8
11/10
11/13
11/17
11/17
11/18
11/18
11/18
11/18
11/21
11/23
11/23
11/26
11/26
11/29
11/29
Nicole Kowalkowski
12/01
(daughter of Sharon & Roman Kowalkowski)
Jacob Peters
12/01
(son of Jerry & Natalie Peters)
Paul Stone
12/01
(son of Joan Stone)
Kevin Betker
12/01
(son of Roy “Pete” & Renee Betker)
Mylisa Klapatch
12/02
(daughter of Dennis Klapatch & Tamara Walker)
Kerri Kirsch
12/04
(daughter of Joyce Howell)
Carsten Arps
12/04
(son of Kenton & Gwendolyn Arps)
Sheri Lynn Klemme
12/06
(daughter of Tom & Bev Van Hemelryk)
Chloe Spice
12/06
(daughter of Tricia & Jason Spice)
Emmitt Arps
12/08
(son of Kenton & Gwendolyn Arps)
Ricky Maurice
12/08
(son of Debra Neddo)
Ross Ambrosius
12/09
(son of Melissa & Rob Ambrosius)
Brandon Scheider
12/10
(son of Deb Scheider)
Jason Kurey
12/11
(son of Deb Kurey)
Bailey Hartmann
12/12
(son of Pamela Phillips)
Drew Stamsta
(son of Lynn Stamsta)
Adam Lee Schultz
(son of Stan & Deb Schultz)
Aaron Lison
(son of Adele Coopmans)
Joe Hinton
(son of Tom & Kathy Hinton)
Cezonne Upton
(son of Frank Smith & Maria Smith)
Stephen DeBroux
(son of Matt & Jean DeBroux)
Timmy Parent
(son of Steven & Cindy Parent)
Matt Pockrandt
(son of Margaret LeRoy)
Thea L Jacques
(daughter of Sally Martin)
Richard Allen Zey
(son of Tina Zey)
Christopher Voght
(son of Tammy Viegut & Timm Gay)
Cassandra LeMere-Zeller
(daughter of Donald & Judith LeMere)
Ryan Jozwiak
(son of Lenee & Eddie Jozwiak)
Joey Wesolowski
(son of Jennifer Heller & John Wesolowski)
Kevin Betker
(son of Roy “Pete” & Renee Betker)
12/13
12/15
12/18
12/20
12/21
12/21
12/26
12/26
12/27
12/28
12/29
12/29
12/30
12/30
12/31
Shared Thoughts Resolving to Care For Ourselves
Marie Hofmockel
TCF Valley Forge, PA
We all approach the New Year very differently. Many cannot wait for the year our child or sibling died to pass, while
others feel it separates them further from that person. But,
the one thing most newly bereaved agree on, is that they
are glad the holidays are over. For some the anticipation
was far greater than the holiday itself. When pain and
stress control our lives it is very difficult to be optimistic.
We must try to face the New Year with the thought that we
will not always be in this much pain. As difficult as it is for
us to believe, the pain does soften. One day you will find a
tolerable life again. It will not be the same as it was, but in
many ways our lives can be richer, for we don’t fret over
the trivial things we used to. We have learned the real values in life. January is the time of year we struggle to put all
our trying events behind us, and begin the year with new
expectations. Unfortunately, that does not apply to our
grief. We cannot “get on with our life” until we have spent
sufficient time resolving our grief. All too often, we choose
to repress the most painful emotions. They are too difficult
to share with others, and we feel too fragile to deal with
them. Once unresolved issues become delayed grief, it can
be very damaging, and much harder to resolve.
Perhaps, one of our New Year resolutions should be allowing ourselves freedom to grieve. We need to take time to
read,, attend meetings, phone a friend, cry, walk, eat
healthier, and in general remove our name from the bottom
of the list of people to care for, we need to place ourselves
at the top of the list, making ourselves number one. We
cannot always be a reservoir of strength; this may be the
time to let others care for us.
We can’t expect this to be a good year if our grief is fresh.
But, we should expect good things as well as bad. We have
survived the impossible ordeal of the death and funeral. We
have learned to take one day at a time, and not to set our
expectations too high. If a good day comes, cherish it.
Many times we have problems with the most important ingredient of recovery, and that is to learn to laugh and be
happy again. We feel guilty for that moment of pleasure,
and sometimes even feel it disrespectful. This is not a sign
of forgetting, or a lack of love, it is a very healthy sign of
hope. I would like to share the last stanza of one of Sascha
Wagner’s poems, “The New Year,” with you.
But let us not forget
that this may be the year
when love and hope and courage
find each other somewhere
in the darkness
to lift their voice and speak
Let there be light.
ANNOUNCEMENTS, COMMENTS, & MISC.
Calendar of Events 2014:
October 21: Doug & Renee LaViolette,
bereaved parents, "Brian's Journey"
November 18: Open Discussion: Making new Holiday
Traditions
December 14: Candle Lighting @ 7 pm
December 16: We Need Not Walk Alone:
One on One sharing time
January 20: Pastor Howar d Batt J r : Handling Anger
WE HAVE A
WEBSITE!!!
Please visit our site at:
www.tcfgreenbay.org
All sorts of goodies are included:
*Past Newsletters
*Calendar of Events
*Articles
*Online Donations
The 18th TCF Worldwide Candle Lighting
The 18th Annual Worldwide Candle Lighting will be held
this year on Sunday, December 14, 2014. This is a very
special and moving event, when bereaved families join
together from around the world in memory of all children
gone too soon. As candles are lit at 7:00 p.m. local time,
hundreds of thousands of persons commemorate and
honor the memory of all children gone too soon.
Now believed to be the largest mass candle lighting on the
globe, the 18th annual Worldwide Candle Lighting, a gift to
the bereavement community from The Compassionate
Friends, creates a virtual 24-hour wave of light as it moves
from time zone to time zone. Started in the United States
in 1997 as a small internet observance, but has since
swelled in numbers as word has spread throughout the
world of the remembrance. Hundreds of formal candle
lighting events are held and thousands of informal candle
lightings are conducted in homes as families gather in quiet remembrance of children who have died, but will never
be forgotten.
MEETING NIGHTS
ARE CHANGING!!!
We will now be having our meetings on:
The THIRD TUESDAY of the month.
Meeting time will stay at 7:00 pm.
Location will be the same as well.
Please mark your calendars!
Love gifts were recently given by:
Tony and Stephanie Froelich, in memory of Lily Froelich
James and Roberta Charneski, in memory of Stephen Charneski
Susan Harris, in memory of Lane Harris
Marlene Schulz, in memory of David Schultz
Plan Administrators, in memory of Joshua Calaway
Carol Wautlet, in memory of Robby Rohr
Island Scrimshander
Mashuda Contractors
THE
COMPASSIONATE
FRIENDS
of Green Bay
Supporting Family After a Child Dies
PO Box 211
Green Bay, WI 54305
We need not walk alone!
Our monthly
support group
meets next on:
Thursday,
October 21, 2014
at 7:00 p.m.
at First United
Methodist Church,
off Monroe at Doty.
Call 920-370-3858
for information.
AS WE NEAR THE SPECIAL SEASON
Ann Frost
TCF Middle Georgia Chapter
As we near the special season that stirs up feelings of heritage, patriotism, thanksgiving, and our relationship
with God, we are instantly reminded that it doesn’t seem to fit together for us; our personal sense of well-being is
suffering. Our hearts and spirits are undergoing the trauma of painfully fresh wounds in some cases, while others
are coping with the scar tissue of older grief that refuses to heal or restore comfort to their lives. This season reminds me we are living with extra stress that must be resolved. I offer a few thoughts to each of you, along with
my love, in hope that feelings of peace and purpose will return to bring you comfort.
First, be careful in agreeing to take on the traditional extra work that goes with holidays. You are coping with grief
that will take much of your usable energy.
Second, be especially kind and patient with yourself. The need for physiological rest is vital at this time; regular
sleep and rest hours will help.
Third, be aware that holidays and alcohol have become traditional companions; extra caution may be necessary
to prevent the depressant effects of alcohol from further aggravating your grief anxiety.
Fourth, it’s okay to change past practices that are especially painful reminders of what can be no more; do something different if you have to.
Finally, allow yourself private time as you need to, but also remember it’s important to allow others to try to bring
you comfort and give you extra help during the holidays. Loved ones need feedback that says: “I’m trying to recover, and I appreciate your help.” Peace be with you.