Inspiring Hope and Purpose for the Future (Read

INSPIRING HOPE AND PURPOSE
FOR THE FUTURE
BY: JENNI PAGE-MAIER, LMFT
PRESENTED AT FALL INSTITUTE, LEXINGTON KY 11.12.15
WHAT TO EXPECT
Goal Setting is a use it or lose it skill of Adolescence – meaning if they
don’t learn the skill they lose the skill. Goal Setting can come naturally
for kids who compete, but what about those who don’t? This workshop
provides strategies to help inspire and motivate the adolescent to
identify values and personal strengths; leading to increased hope and
purpose for the future.
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Mood Check
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THOUGHT CHECK
GET THEM TALKING
ABOUT THEMSELVES
q BE CURIOUS
q DEFINE VALUES
q DISCOVER STRENGTHS
q BUILD AWARENESS OF SELF
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BE CURIOUS!!
CONVERSATION STARTERS
How do you spend your time? What do you get into? What’s your thing?
What Do You enjoy doing? What Don’t You enjoy doing? How come?
[WHY implies there is something wrong]
What do You like reading about? Listening to? Favorite Documentaries?
What are Your talents? What are You good at?
What do You day dream about?
Who do You admire?
If Life Was Perfect – What would it look like?
GET THEM DREAMING
AND
HAVE THEM DEFINE SUCCESS
.... ASK THEM ....
What is the #1 thing that You can do
that will lead to
Your Greatest Chance of Success?
ONE MAN’S LAZY IS
ANOTHER MAN’S ...
CHOICE OF ENERGY
EXPENDITURE
(IT’S ALL ABOUT VALUES)
https://www.raptureready. com/ im ageh ea d2/ Soa pb ox7 .j pg
• Definition of lazy: “unwilling to work or use energy”
• Law of conservation of energy: energy can be neither
created nor be destroyed, but it transforms from one
form to another
• John Gottman’s Four Horseman of the Apocalypse:
Criticism, Contempt, Defensiveness & Stonewalling
Criticism/Attacking Character – someone is right or wrong
Contempt/Attacking Sense of Self – sarcasm/name calling
Defensiveness/Self as Victim – low personal responsibility
Stonewalling/Withdrawing – Silence/Removing Self
The critical and unproductive “you are so lazy!” can be
replaced with a creative – caring statement of “I want you
to do ______ (what best honors You and Your Best Self).”
“I HAVE THE RIGHT TO DO
ANYTHING,” YOU SAY—BUT NOT
EVERYTHING IS BENEFICIAL. “I HAVE
THE RIGHT TO DO ANYTHING”—BUT
NOT EVERYTHING IS CONSTRUCTIVE.
TAKE REBELLION OUT OF THE EQUATION
ITS ABOUT WHAT THEY WANT FOR THEIR SELVES
AND
HOW THEY CHOOSE TO SPEND THEIR ENERGY MATTERS
HELP WITH THE CONNECTIONS
BY
HELPING THEM MAKE CONNECTIONS
vTeenagers often miss the big picture due to their “gist” thinking – they are
living very much in the moment & focused on the feelings of the moment
vHelp take their ideas and follow them through ..
WHAT WE SOW IS WHAT WE REAP
WHAT WE CULTIVATE WILL BE WHAT IS GROWN ..
MAKE THE CONNECTION BETWEEN
ACTION AND VALUES
First Get them to Quickly Claim or Define their Values
Use a Time Study of their Typical Day
Connect their Time with their Values
Follow Thru – They are Cultivating What? Will That Yield Success?
What are Revisions? How would that look?
ITS OK TO FEEL
GUILTY
SOMETIMES
GUILT IS WHEN OUR ACTIONS DON’T MATCH UP WITH OUR VALUES
THE TRICK IS KNOWING IF MY GUILT IS CONNECTED TO MY VALUES OR SOMEONE ELSE'S
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CULTIVATE
SELF KNOWLEDGE
AND
PERSONAL PURPOSE
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GUNTER SCHMITT, MD
KNOW MY REALITY
FULL AWARENESS OF MY REALITY
+
+
SHOULD
AWARE OF MY GOAL
=
=
PROBLEM FOCUSED OR NEGATIVE TRANCE
SOLUTION FOCUSED OR
POSITIVE TRANCE
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SUCCESS IS A SKILL
WHO IS GOING TO BE MORE SUCCESSFUL
WHEN GOING TO COLLEGE?
THE KID MAKING STRAIT A’S THAT NEVER HAD TO STUDY
OR
THE KID MAKING A’S B’S & SOMETIMES C’S WHO EARNED EVERY GRADE THEY GOT
THROUGH LATE NIGHT STUDY SESSIONS AND MULTIPLE REVISIONS AND RE-TESTING?
OPTIMIST OR PESSIMIST?
THEIR GREATEST FEAR
THE GREATEST FEAR OF AN OPTIMIST IS HELPLESSNESS
OPTIMIST WILL CIRCUMNAVIGATE AROUND THINKING ERRORS AND STILL ACCOMPLISH
THE GREATEST FEAR OF A PESSIMIST IS DISAPPOINTMENT
PESSIMIST MAY CHOOSE TO GIVE UP BEFORE THEY EVEN GET STARTED.
SELF WORTH
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WE ALL HAVE A PLACE –
WHAT’S YOURS?
WHO IS MORE IMPORTANT THE HEART SURGEON OR
THE LADY SMILING AT USCAN?
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BE BOLD
WHAT ARE YOU WORKING ON?
WHAT ARE YOUR CURRENT GOALS?
WHAT DIRECTION ARE MOVING IN?
HOW ARE
YOU
SMART?
WHEN YOU DISCOVER WHAT
IS RIGHT WITH YOU RATHER
THAN WHAT IS WRONG –
YOU WILL BEGIN TO SEE
MORE OPTIONS FOR
YOURSELF.
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Here is the test. Look at the
trees and choose the one
that is immediately most
appealing to you. Don’t
think about it too long, just
choose, and know the
number.
http://blog.wenxuecity.com/myblog/48918/201310/3337.html
#1: YOU ARE A GENEROUS AND MORAL (NOT TO
CONFUSE WITH MORALIZING) PERSON. YOU
ALWAYS WORK ON SELF-IMPROVEMENT. YOU ARE
VERY AMBITIOUS AND HAVE VERY HIGH STANDARDS.
PEOPLE MIGHT THINK THAT COMMUNICATING WITH
YOU IS DIFFICULT, BUT FOR YOU, IT ISN’T EASY TO BE
WHO YOU ARE. YOU WORK VERY HARD BUT YOU
ARE NOT IN THE LEAST SELFISH. YOU WORK BECAUSE
YOU WANT TO IMPROVE THE WORLD. YOU HAVE A
GREAT CAPACITY TO LOVE PEOPLE UNTIL THEY HURT
YOU. BUT EVEN AFTER THEY DO. . . YOU KEEP
LOVING. VERY FEW PEOPLE CAN APPRECIATE
EVERYTHING YOU DO AS WELL AS YOU DESERVE.
#2: YOU ARE A FUN, HONEST PERSON. YOU ARE
VERY RESPONSIBLE AND LIKE TAKING CARE OF
OTHERS. YOU BELIEVE IN PUTTING IN AN HONEST
DAY’S WORK AND ACCEPT MANY WORK-RELATED
RESPONSIBILITIES. YOU HAVE A VERY GOOD
PERSONALITY AND PEOPLE COME TO TRUST YOU
EASILY. YOU ARE BRIGHT, WITTY AND FASTTHINKING. YOU ALWAYS HAVE AN INTERESTING
STORY TO TELL.
# 3: YOU ARE INTELLIGENT AND THOUGHTFUL. YOU
ARE A GREAT THINKER. YOUR IDEAS AND THOUGHTS
MEAN THE MOST TO YOU. YOU ENJOY PONDERING
YOUR IDEAS ALONE. YOU ARE INTROVERTED. YOU
LIKE PEOPLE WHO ENJOY THINKING AND LEARNING.
YOU ARE NEVER SUPERFICIAL. YOU SPEND A LOT OF
TIME THINKING ABOUT MORALITY. YOU DO THE
RIGHT THING EVEN IF MOST PEOPLE DISAGREE WITH
YOU.
#4: YOU ARE INSIGHTFUL AND PHILOSOPHICAL. YOU
ARE UNIQUE, WITH A SOUL THAT IS ONE OF A KIND.
THERE IS NOBODY WHO IS EVEN SLIGHTLY LIKE YOU.
YOU HAVE A GREAT INTUITION AND POSSESS A
VARIETY OF QUIRKS. PEOPLE OFTEN MISUNDERSTAND
YOU, AND THAT HURTS YOUR FEELINGS. YOU NEED A
LOT OF PERSONAL SPACE. YOUR CREATIVITY
DEMANDS DEVELOPMENT. IT NEEDS TO BE RESPECTED
BY OTHERS. YOU CLEARLY SEE THE POSITIVE AND THE
NEGATIVE ASPECTS OF LIFE. YOU ARE ALSO VERY
EMOTIONAL.
#5: YOU ARE SELF-ASSURED AND IN CHARGE. YOU
ARE VERY INDEPENDENT. YOUR GUIDING PRINCIPLE
IN LIFE IS ‘I’LL DO IT MY WAY.’. YOU ARE VERY SELFRELIANT AND KNOW HOW TO STAY STRONG FOR
YOURSELF AND THE PEOPLE YOU LOVE. YOU KNOW
EXACTLY WHAT YOU WANT AND ARE NOT AFRAID
OF PURSUING YOUR DREAMS. THE ONLY THING YOU
DEMAND FROM PEOPLE IS HONESTY. YOU ARE
STRONG ENOUGH TO ACCEPT THE TRUTH.
#6: YOU ARE KIND AND SENSITIVE. PEOPLE RELATE TO
YOU VERY WELL. YOU HAVE MANY FRIENDS AND
YOU LOVE HELPING THEM. YOU HAVE THIS WARM
AND BRIGHT AURA THAT MAKES PEOPLE FEEL GOOD
WHEN THEY ARE AROUND YOU. EVERY DAY, YOU
THINK ABOUT WHAT YOU CAN DO TO IMPROVE
YOURSELF. YOU WANT TO BE INTERESTING,
INSIGHTFUL AND UNIQUE. MORE THAN ANYBODY
ELSE IN THE WORLD, YOU NEED TO LOVE. YOU ARE
EVEN READY TO LOVE THOSE WHO DON’T LOVE
YOU BACK.
# 7: YOU ARE HAPPY AND UNFLAPPABLE. YOU ARE A
VERY SENSITIVE AND UNDERSTANDING PERSON. YOU
ARE A GREAT LISTENER WHO KNOW HOW TO BE
NON-JUDGMENTAL. YOU BELIEVE THAT EVERYBODY
HAS THEIR OWN JOURNEY IN LIFE. YOU ARE OPEN
TO NEW PEOPLE AND EVENTS. YOU ARE HIGHLY
RESISTANT TO STRESS AND RARELY WORRY.
NORMALLY, YOU ARE VERY RELAXED. YOU ALWAYS
MANAGE TO HAVE A GOOD TIME AND NEVER LOSE
YOUR WAY.
#8: YOU ARE CHARMING AND ENERGETIC. YOU ARE
A FUN PERSON WHO KNOWS HOW TO MAKE
PEOPLE LAUGH. YOU LIVE IN A STATE OF HARMONY
WITH THE UNIVERSE. YOU ARE SPONTANEOUS AND
ENTHUSIASTIC. YOU NEVER SAY NO TO AN
ADVENTURE. OFTEN, YOU END UP SURPRISING AND
EVEN SHOCKING PEOPLE. BUT THAT’S JUST HOW
YOU ARE. . . YOU ALWAYS REMAIN TRUE TO
YOURSELF. YOU HAVE MANY INTERESTS AND IF
SOMETHING PROVES OF INTEREST TO YOU, YOU
WILL NOT REST UNTIL YOU ACQUIRE A PROFOUND
KNOWLEDGE OF THIS AREA.
#9: YOU ARE OPTIMISTIC AND LUCKY. YOU BELIEVE
THAT LIFE IS A GIFT AND YOU TRY TO ACHIEVE AS
MUCH AS POSSIBLE AND PUT THIS GIFT TO THE BEST
USE POSSIBLE. YOU ARE VERY PROUD OF YOUR
ACHIEVEMENTS. YOU ARE READY TO STICK BY THE
PEOPLE YOU CARE ABOUT THROUGH THICK AND
THIN. YOU HAVE A VERY HEALTHY APPROACH TO
LIFE. THE GLASS IS (AT LEAST) HALF FULL FOR YOU.
YOU USE ANY OPPORTUNITY TO FORGIVE, LEARN,
AND GROW BECAUSE YOU BELIEVE THAT LIFE IS TOO
SHORT TO DO OTHERWISE.
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WHAT WILL YOU DO WITH THIS
INFORMATION?
Help them connect with their purpose
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DEFINE YOUR PURPOSE
AND
TAKE ACTIONS TOWARD
THAT PURPOSE
WHAT DO YOUR CURRENT ACTIONS SAY ABOUT YOUR PURPOSE?
DO YOU BELIEVE THERE IS MORE?
INVITE THEM TO BECOME
ACTIVE
HOW THEY BECOME ACTIVE IS UP TO THEM
THE ONLY REQUIREMENT >>> ACTIONS HONOR THEIR VALUES & PURPOSE
What do your Actions
Say about You?
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Do the Best You can
Because
Your Best is All You’ve
Got
And You Can Never
Be Any Better than
Your Best
-Betty Alice Erickson
THANK
YOU!!!
[email protected]
Jenni Page-Maier, LMFT