The Guide to Handling Conflict and Mediation: A Manager`s Webinar

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How to motivate yourself to deal with
conflict and disagreements
Conflict Is Neutral
Recognize the true nature of conflict.
Conflict Handled Poorly
Hurt feelings
Desires for revenge
People who don’t work together
Teams that silo
Decisions that don’t get made
Solutions that are mediocre
HR issues
Conflict Handled Well
Problems are solved efficiently.
Individuals feel valued.
Teams communicate.
Information is shared.
Resources are leveraged successfully.
Conflict management is a leader’s responsibility.
There are tremendous personal benefits when we
take a leadership stance and manage conflict.
• Is the conflict impacting the achievement of goals and objectives?
• Is the conflict impacting teamwork?
• Is the conflict likely to escalate, percolate, or burn out?
Recognize the business cost of conflict.
7 Choices
1. Assertively address it or let it go?
2. Do I want to be right or be effective?
3. When would be the best time to confront?
4. Confront with the information I have or
find out more?
5. Take the issue up the ladder or
confront on my own?
6. What is my ultimate goal?
7. Don’t take things too personally.
QTIP: Quit Taking
It Personally
Choose to be assertive.
Passive
Assertive
Aggressive
Assertiveness is
all about respect.
Passive-Aggressiveness
• Hinting
• Gunnysacking
• Kitchen-sinking
• Know what matters most.
• You are just as important as
everyone else.
• Stop saying “sorry.”
• Don’t assume others know
what you want.
• People are responsible for
their own behavior.
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“I” Statements
I need
I feel
I want
Empathic Assertion
Escalating Assertion
Ask for More Time
Scripting
Frustration
Confusion
Anger
Irritation
Fear
Build Your Emotional Vocabulary
What are they
afraid of?
What is the
root emotion?
5 Ways to Listen
Effectively and
Why Most
People Don’t
Use Them
1. Empathetic Listening
2. Listening to Understand
It sounds to
me like ...
If I understand
you correctly,
you want me to ...
I believe you
are saying ...
3. Reflective Listening
That’s interesting,
tell me more ...
4. Dialogic Listening
Eye contact
Open posture
Head nods
Expressions
5. Active Listening
Top 10 Mistakes
When Dealing With
Upset People
1. Confusing conflict with fighting or anger
I disagree.
I see it differently.
2. Confusing reacting with responding
3. Using victim language
You made me ...
I am ...
I have to ...
I choose to ...
4. Failing to see conflict as
an opportunity for growth
and personal development
5. Thinking you have the corner on Reality
6. Failing to remember
not everyone was
raised at your house
QTIP
7. Quit taking it personally.
8. Attacking or focusing on the person,
not the problem or issue
9. Not hiding your goat
• Breathe.
• Name the 7 dwarfs.
• Do math.
• Use coping statements.
10. Failing to “get a
wrinkly brain”
Conflict is:
Inevitable
Natural
Necessary
Welcome to
The Guide to Handling
Conflict and Mediation:
A Manager’s Webinar
Q&A
With Pamela Jett, CSP
Thank you for joining us t
oday!