July - Las Vegas Peace Officers Association

Transcription

July - Las Vegas Peace Officers Association
July 2013
Volume 8, Issue 3
A P U B L I C AT I O N O F L V P O A
The Informer
AFFILIATED WITH
-TEAMSTERS LOCAL 14
-STATE OF NEVADA AFL/ CIO
- S N CO P S
Inside this Issue
THE PRESIDENT’S CORNER
VICE PREZ PRESENTS
UNION YES!!
DEPT OF LABOR SPOTLIGHT
ANNOUNCEMENTS
UPCOMING EVENTS
LIGHTEN-UP
Now you know what I did on my
vacation
7
8
THE BOARD
Mark Bunnell—President
Eric Fredenburg —Vice-president
Scott Edwards—Treasurer/LVPOA .com
webmaster
Allan Tremar—Secretary
Steve Poe—Representative
Travis Raz--Representative
Mike Weyand—
Representative/Editor--The Informer
Steward day shift-- Todd Chafee
Steward night shift-- Tom Ratzsch
President’s corner
Running for a Union position
We are coming up to union board
nominations. Our membership is
made up of varied experiences and
personalities. The board is a
microcosm of our membership and
represents the variety of our
experiences and seniority. We have
come a long way since the beginning
of our Union with Randy Herdzina
and his board starting from scratch
and establishing our foundation.
Looking back at our past board
members we all for one reason or
another ran for office. Some like
Tracey Valenzuela started as a
Representative, went to Vice
President and President. The
personal time and effort can’t be
appreciated enough and rarely
understood. Your personal and
professional lives are affected; your
every word is taken, twisted,
manipulated and dissected; your
intentions are questioned and your
ethical foundations are put to task.
So why would someone put
themselves, family life and
professional life under such scrutiny?
That is the question of the day. What
abilities and experiences will the
people who will run for an office
bring to our membership? What
qualities are we looking for in our
board members?
When I was the Vice President
under Randy Herdzina and Tracey
Valenzuela, I tried to compliment
their strengths, learn their approach
and assist in areas that needed
The Informer 1
attention. As the President the Vice
President is someone I would rely on
to give me an honest assessment of
issues at hand, I would send e-mails
and memos to get their input prior to
putting them out to see if the
message I was intending to send is
being received as I thought.
The Secretary needs to be able to
organize the union board meetings,
agenda items, administrative
documentation, maintain all
correspondence and records of the
LVPOA. The Secretary shall keep a
true and complete book of minutes of
all Board Meetings and any other
meetings of the LVPOA. Shall
maintain all records of attendance at
all General and Special Membership
Meetings; shall assure that a copy of
all minutes have been dated and
signed by the President after being
duly approved and that copies of all
records and correspondence of any
kind are kept in the LVPOA Office
at all times; shall ensure that all
corporate documents, including but
not limited to, amendments to the
Articles of Incorporation and the
annual List of Officers, Directors and
Agent of Nonprofit Corporation are
timely and properly filed with the
Secretary of State of Nevada
The Treasurer is responsible for
all monies collected by the
LVPOA and shall oversee the
preparation of financial reports;
shall assure that accurate and
complete records of all income
and expenditures are
maintained; he/she shall be the
legal custodian of all monies,
notes, securities and other
valuables that may from time to
time come into the possession of
the LVPOA; shall, at a minimum,
submit to the Board a monthly
financial report; shall, after
approval by the Board, when
required by these Bylaws, or by
the General Membership, issue
and countersign all checks of the
LVPOA and order the payment of
money so approved; shall
present a report at the General
Membership Meeting reflecting
the financial status and showing
the current balances of the
LVPOA since the report given at
the previous General
Membership Meeting; and shall
serve as Chairman of the Finance
Committee.
These are the three positions up
for election, for those who run
for an office, good luck, for those
who held the offices in the past
thank you.
“Vice Prez Presents”
This issue I will talk about giving
credit where credit is due.
Recently I read an email and it said
give credit where credit is due, so I
will try to give credit where it is due.
Now that we’re on the cusp of
signing our CBA, getting our CBA
approved by the city council, or it
already has been done by the time
you read this. We should go back a
few years from today, when I was
first elected to the board. There was a
discussion between myself and then
President Tracey, she agreed that the
future of our union truly rested in
this next CBA and we decided to get
improved legal counsel to help us
with formulating a contract that
would benefit us financially and our
rights as workers in America.
We went about finding that Attorney
who could help us on our path, I
believe we have found that attorney
now currently Mike Langton. How
did we find this attorney? Well,
during our travels as union
representatives for the LV POA. We
asked many people who they would
select as their attorney in Las Vegas.
Mike Langston's name was always
one of the ones mentioned no matter
what city or state we were in.
Also needed was more in depth
training in regards to CBAs yes the
union has constantly gotten training
for representing officers or members
while under investigation but very
minimal training when it came to
contract negotiations. Again Tracey
agreed and we set out to get the
training.
Tracy also put together what is called
a war-chest a little storage bin that
had everything we needed for said
meetings ,whether that be
calculators, highlighters, past CBA’s,
writing paper or what have you these
were all in this war chest.
Well, as it sometimes happens things
were changed rather rapidly and
Tracy was out and Mark was in as
the union president and rest assured
it was a rough 30 to 60 days getting
used to the new style of our new
leader.
Now this isn't to say that Mark wasn't
capable of leading us it was just that
changes are never accepted with
open arms.
Mark showed that he not only had
the ability to lead. But he was our
leader and we were all heading
towards a goal of fixing the CBA and
getting it right for all members. Mark
stood firm in face of adversity and
showed his merit when the city
wrongly accused him of making a
union suggestion to the City
Manager, he verbally slapped that lie
right out of the room. The teamwork
of Mark and Mike Langton was a
key in getting the CBA put together
in a timely manner.
The Informer 2
Now giving credit to all members, I
want to thank all members for paying
their dues, for without their dues the
board would not be able to get the
training we've gotten for the CBA, or
in fact training to represent members
during investigations, we would not
have the money to hire a powerhouse
attorney like Mike Langton, we
would not have the money to pay for
hiring a qualified CPA that knows
how to find hidden money that
agencies and departments never want
employees to see or find.
Now some members will say the
CBA didn't help me (themselves) in
any way, my answer to that is it
helped you plenty. Everyone
received a raise in salary, everyone’s
healthcare costs remained extremely
low in the era of Obama care and the
sky rocketing premiums, the CBA
continues to protect your rights to
call in sick on any given day in a
week and also work overtime in that
same week, and still get paid time
and a half for the OT.
Oh Dear Member the CBA benefited
each and every one of us.
Please don’t forget that the CBA is
only two years in duration which
means January 1, 2014 the board
must get back into that war-chest pull
out the materials and start studying,
preparing for the next battle which
will be at that time 12 months away,
Keep your attention on what takes
place regarding medical costs and
you will see what the next battle will
be all about.
So I ask each and every one of you
read the CBA, see if you feel there
are things that need to be changed.
Get your ideas to the board allow the
board enough time, so that the board
can research it.
Dear member remember the future is
only one second away. And our CBA
is only 18 months away from having
pen put the paper
Thank you
Still your Vice Pres.
V.P. E. Fredenburg
1. Accepting complete responsibility for my
behavior
2. Meeting expectations.
3. Admitting mistakes.
4. Admitting limitations of knowledge.
Fast Facts from
Freddy
The Fourth of July
2013
On this day in 1776, the
Declaration of Independence was
approved by the Continental
Congress, setting the 13 colonies
on the road to freedom as a
sovereign nation. As always, this
most American of holidays will be
marked by parades, fireworks and
backyard barbecues across the
country.
How Do We Know?
As we celebrate this
Independence Day, we reflect on
how our Founding Fathers
enshrined the importance of
statistics in our Constitution as a
vital tool for measuring our
people, places and economy.
Since 1790, the U.S. Census has
been much more than a simple
head count; it has charted the
growth and composition of our
nation. The questions have
evolved over time to address our
changing needs. Today, the
Decennial Census, the Economic
Census and the American
Community Survey give
Congress and community leaders
the information they need to
make informed decisions that
shape our democracy. These
statistics are how we know how
our country is doing.
2.5 million
In July 1776, the estimated
number of people living in the
newly independent nation.
Source: Historical Statistics of the
United States: Colonial Times to
1970
<http://www2.census.gov/prod2/st
atcomp/documents/HistoricalStati
sticsoftheUnitedStates17891945.pdf>
313.9 million
The nation's estimated population
on this July Fourth.
Source: Population clock
<http://www.census.gov/main/ww
w/popclock.html>
Flags
$3.6 million
one is Eagle Pass, Texas, with a
population of 26,248.
Eleven places have
“independence” in their names.
The most populous one is
Independence, Mo., with a
population of 116,830.
In 2011, the dollar value of U.S.
imports of American flags. The
vast majority of this amount ($3.3
million) was for U.S. flags made
in China.
Source: Foreign Trade Statistics
<http://www.census.gov/foreigntrade/www/>
<http://www.usatradeonline.gov>
Nine places have “freedom” in
their names. The most populous
one is New Freedom, Pa., with a
population of 4,464.
$663,071
Five places have “America” in
their names. The most populous
is American Fork, Utah, with a
population of 26,263.
Dollar value of U.S. flags
exported in 2011. Mexico was the
leading customer, purchasing
$80,349 worth.
Source: Foreign Trade Statistics
<http://www.census.gov/foreigntrade/www/>
<http://www.usatradeonline.gov>
$302.7 million
Dollar value of shipments of
fabricated flags, banners and
similar emblems by the nation's
manufacturers in 2007, according
to the latest published economic
census statistics.
Source: 2007 Economic Census,
Series EC0731SP1, Products and
Services Code 3149998231
<http://www.census.gov/econ/cen
sus07/>
Patriotic-Sounding
Place Names
Thirty-one places have “liberty” in
their names. The most populous
one as of April 1, 2010, was
Liberty, Mo. (29,149). Iowa, with
four, has more of these places
than any other state: Libertyville,
New Liberty, North Liberty and
West Liberty.
Thirty-five places have “eagle” in
their names. The most populous
The Informer 3
One place has “patriot” in its
name. Patriot, Ind., has a
population of 209.
Source: American FactFinder
<http://www.census.gov>
Fourth of July
Cookouts
Almost 1 in 3
The chance that the hot dogs and
pork sausages consumed on the
Fourth of July originated in Iowa.
The Hawkeye State was home to
19.7 million hogs and pigs on
March 1, 2012. This estimate
represents almost one-third of the
nation's estimated total. North
Carolina (8.6 million) and
Minnesota (7.6 million) were also
homes to large numbers of pigs.
Source: USDA National
Agricultural Statistics Service,
7.2 billion pounds
Total production of cattle and
calves in Texas in 2011. Chances
are good that the beef hot dogs,
steaks and burgers on your
backyard grill came from the Lone
Star State, which accounted for
about one-sixth of the nation's
total production. And if the beef
did not come from Texas, it very
well may have come from
Nebraska (4.6 billion pounds) or
Kansas (4.0 billion pounds).
Source: USDA National
Agricultural Statistics Service
Please Pass the Potato
Potato salad and potato chips are
popular food items at Fourth of
July barbecues. Approximately
half of the nation's spuds were
produced in Idaho or Washington
state in 2011.
Source: USDA National
Agricultural Statistics Service
year. To support the Teamsters by
not spending money from the
treasury of the LVPOA at Wal-Mart ,
as a gesture of solidarity is a small
sacrifice in exchange for greater
gains for our membership.
This is by no means a call for the
membership as individuals to
boycott the Wal-Mart chain, nor to
pass judgment on anybody that
chooses to shop at the chain. Those
are personal decisions for folks to
make on their own; rather this is a
simple explanation as to why the
Board of the LVPOA adjusted away
from the practice of purchasing from
the chain. T. Raz LVPOA Rep
DEPARTMENT OF
LABOR
Why not Wal-Mart gift cards? It is
the question asked by some after
gift cards were given out to the
members after the holiday season
and by a few after the gift
certificates were distributed during
Correction al Workers week. There
are Wal-Mart Neighborhood
Markets and Superstores in
abundance throughout the valley, so
it may seem like a matter of
convenience to utilize the chains gift
cards. The simple answer is WalMart is nonunion and as such the
Board of the LVPOA has decided to
support those unions such as the
Teamsters that have asked people
not to support the Wal-Mart chain.
A key element to the success of any
union is its ability to interact with
other unions. Such interaction
served the LVPOA during our recent
contract negotiations when the
Teamsters Local 14 agreed to
maintain our current rate for access
to their healthcare and went even
further by agreeing to not raise that
cost during the two years of our
contract. This is the same Teamsters
Local 14 that provides the LVPOA an
office and utilization of meeting
space for literally a few dollars a
SPOTLIGHT
Mary Harris
"Mother" Jones
(1830? — 1930)
"Pray for the dead and fight
like hell for the living."
Irish-born Mother Jones was a
champion of the country's weakest
and neediest during the period of
America's great industrial growth.
For countless workers she was both
goad and inspiration in their
struggles to organize for mutual
protection. Her flaming rhetoric and
fearless campaigning helped swell
the ranks of the United Mine
Workers, who called her the Miners'
Angel. With the look of an angel
and the tongue of a mule skinner,
she tramped the land, venting her
searing invective against the shame
of child labor and worker
exploitation. A magnificent scold,
she was a ringing voice on behalf
of miners' colossal struggles in
West Virginia, Colorado and
Pennsylvania. Jones suffered
imprisonment, personal attacks and
unbelievable hardships for her
efforts to ease impoverished lives.
From the Hall of Honor
We have added a new section
to the Informer to introduce
you to fellow Union brothers
and sisters that have helped
forge the road in today’s Labor
movement in America.
Steve Young
(1953 — 2003)
"We willingly place
ourselves in harm's
The Informer 4
way, because that's
the American way."
With roots as a police officer in
Marion, Ohio, Steve Young became
an influential advocate for law
enforcement professionals. In a
meteoric union career, Young was
elected president of the Ohio
Fraternal Order of Police in 1988,
national vice president of the FOP
in 1997 and national president in
2001. Along the way he helped
develop innovative and widely
adopted programs to aid
psychologically traumatized officers
and improve police labormanagement relations. Beginning
in 2001 he worked with the U.S.
Department of Justice on ways to
resolve police-related civil rights
issues and served on the post-9/11
Homeland Security Advisory
Council.
There is now a link on the city's
intranet. On the "Welcome" page
click the "Employment" tab, on
the bottom right section
"CEA/Civil Service" there is a
link "Las Vegas Peace Officers
Association (POA)" or go to
www.lvpoa.com
General
Membership
Meeting
Thursday, 07-25-13
1615 and 1830
SNCOPS and the 2013
Legislative Session
The Southern Nevada Conference of
Police and Sheriffs (SNCOPS) seeks
to maintain a high level interest in
legislation that may affect its
members and Law Enforcement
Officers throughout the state of
Nevada. As such, SNCOPS lobbies
for policing and organized labor
interest throughout each year and
specifically each biennium at the
Nevada Legislature. Through
SNCOPS we are able to maintain a
full time presence in Carson City in
addition to maintaining contact with
elected legislators in the interim
periods.
We have built and maintained a
significant presence in the state as
the largest and most notable Law
Enforcement entity. Our continued
presence and involvement is of
utmost importance as the focus and
scrutiny on Law Enforcement, Labor
organizations and specifically Public
Employees continues to tighten and
become increasingly negative.
There were several bills that
affected Law Enforcement and
specifically.
The Informer 5
AB342 was introduced to turn PERS
into a "hybrid" system. We were able
to garner support from many
legislators to keep it from getting a
hearing.
AB112, AB342, SB353, SB168 and
SB439 all sought to curb our
Collective Bargaining rights.
SB348 was introduced by
management personnel to limit
NRS289 Rights of Peace Officers.
We were able to keep this from
getting a hearing and it ultimately
died.
AB11 sought to make
Heart/Lung/Cancer workers comp
benefits for Law Enforcement to be
evaluated fairly. This bill made some
headway and more gaps are expected
to be closed in the next session.
AB130 this bill puts a funding
mechanism for the University of
Nevada system to pay for the college
tuition of any child of a public safety
professional killed in the line of duty.
SB16 This bill sought to authorize
the issuance of administrative
subpoenas by state law enforcement
agencies in the internal affairs
process. This was specific to sate
employees. We saw this as a
stepping stone for local agencies to
obtain this right.
SB4 streamlines the process of
getting inmates tested for exposing
us to their communicable diseases.
JAILS AND DETENTION
FACILITIES
Jails, unlawful possession of
telecommunications devices by
prisoners, penalties, sentence
modification, AB 212*
Attorneys, solicitation of legal
business, prohibited acts, penalties,
SB 27**
Defendants found incompetent,
establishment of outpatient treatment
program, SB 323D
Detention and incarceration in
State, study, SB 107*
Immigration status of arrested
persons, verification, AB 104D
Industrial insurance benefits,
effect of incarceration, SB 289D
Juvenile courts, placement of
parole or probation violators,
restrictions, AB 207*
Public-private partnerships for
certain projects, authority of public
agencies, SB 145D
Solitary confinement, restrictions
on use, SB 107†
Telecommunications devices,
unlawful possession by prisoners,
penalties, sentence modification, AB
212*
Transfer of offenders to state
facilities, procedures, SB 32**
Victim Information Notification
Everyday System, creation, SB 26**
PRISONS, STATE
Judgment of imprisonment,
electronic transmission authorized,
AB 64**
Offenders
Alcohol or drug abuse
treatment programs, eligibility, SB
32**, AB 159D
Assignment to program of
education, training or other
rehabilitation, considerations,
restrictions, AB 64†
Autopsies, requirements, AB
422**
Credits against sentence, SB
71*, AB 43**, AB 415†, AB 136 of
the 76th Session
Defendants found
incompetent, outpatient treatment
program, SB 323D
Detention and incarceration
in State, study, SB 107*
Employment of offenders,
contracts for, requirements, reports,
SB 478**
Evaluation of offender
before sentencing, requirements, AB
325
Hepatitis C virus, testing for,
procedures, AB 400D
HIV, grounds for segregating
offender testing positive, SB 388*,
AB 325
Information system,
development, AB 64†
Management system,
establishment mandatory,
requirements, AB 64†
Medicaid application for
determination of eligibility on behalf
of prisoner, SB 519**
Medical and dental services,
contracts for provision of, AB 299D
Prisoners' Personal Property
Fund, individual accounts,
deductions, exemptions from
requirements, SB 32**
Release
Photo identification card,
issuance upon request, SB 423*
Receipt of certain
information upon, AB 64†
Transitional living
facilities, inspections, license
renewal fees, SB 149
Voting rights,
restoration, AB 301 of the 76th
Session
Sexual conduct between
offender and another person,
prohibited acts, SB 33D, SB 388*
Solitary confinement,
restrictions on use, SB 107†
Statistical data, reports to
Legislature, AB 64†
Transfers from local
facilities, procedures, SB 32**
Old Nevada State Prison,
preservation actions urged, report to
Legislature, AB 356**
Prison Revolving Account,
repeal, SB 32**
Public-private partnerships,
authority of public agencies, SB
145D
School district employees
educating offenders, procedures for
restricting access to facility or
institution, AB 17**
Tours and inspection of facilities
by elected officials authorized, AB
400D
Victim Information Notification
Everyday System, creation, SB 26**
Working conditions of
employees, study, SB 188 of the 76th
Session, SCR 9
CORRECTIONS, DEPARTMENT
OF (See also PRISONS, STATE)
Biological specimens, duties, SB
243**
Correctional Community
Services, Division of, creation,
duties, AB 497
Director
Interagency Council on
Veterans Affairs, membership, AB
58*
The Informer 6
Juvenile justice task force,
membership, AB 202**
Offenders (See also PRISONS,
STATE)
Autopsies, requirements, AB
422**
Employment of offenders,
reports, duties, SB 478**
Medicaid application for
determination of eligibility on behalf
of prisoner, SB 519**
Nevada Offender Tracking
Information System, appropriation,
AB 468**
Sexual offenses, assessment
of convicted persons, duties, SB
104**
Officers and employees (See also
STATE OFFICERS AND
EMPLOYEES)
Communicable diseases,
testing of person who may have
caused exposure, requirements, SB
4**
Medical or dental services
provided to offenders, requirements,
AB 299D
Military duty, leave of
absence, purchase of retirement
service credit, AB 364†
Unclassified service,
salaries, duties, AB 510, AB 511**
Working conditions, study,
SB 188 of the 76th Session, SCR 9
Old Nevada State Prison,
preservation actions urged, report to
Legislature, AB 356**
Pilot diversion program,
expansion, continuation, SB 200, SB
394D
Prison education programs,
duties, AB 17**
Victim Information Notification
Everyday System, creation,
cooperation, SB 26**
Other Law and Order related bills of
interest:
Assembly Bills 21, 30, 39, 40, 54,
55, 64, 67, 82, 84, 97, 102, 115, 116,
117, 136, 146, 154, 174, 195, 202,
207, 212, 217, 223, 233, 236, 249,
256, 284, 287, 301, 304, 307, 311,
313, 338, 358, 365, 377, 415, 422,
423,44
Senate Bills 19, 24, 25, 26, 30, 31,
32, 37, 38, 39, 45, 71, 76, 101, 103,
104, 106, 107, 108, 139, 141, 169,
175, 176, 179, 189, 224, 226, 235,
237, 237, 243, 258, 264, 268, 273,
277, 284, 312, 347, 388, 395, 410,
414, 423, 451, 478, 501, 503, 520
What do you call a parade of
German mercenaries?
A Hessian procession!
Go to https://www.leg.state.nv.us/
For detailed information
Did you hear the one about the
Liberty Bell?
Yeah, it cracked me up!
What would you get if you
crossed a patriot with a small
curly-haired dog?
Yankee Poodle!
Thank you,
Scott A. Edwards
Treasurer
What would you get if you
crossed George Washington with
cattle feed?
The Fodder of Our Country!
What's red, white, blue, and
almost as ugly as a dog?
A revolutionary warthog!
What did one flag say to the
other flag?
Nothing. It just waved!
steps
LIGHTEN-UP
What did Paul Revere say at the
end of his ride?
"I gotta get a softer saddle!"
Submit your questions
to—Q&A
If you have any questions,
comments/rants that you would like
to have answered, please forward
them to the Informer editor—Mike
Weyand, we will make every attempt
to answer your questions in a timely
manner and then publish them in the
next issue of the Informer for the rest
of the membership to read. Of
course, your questions can be
confidential upon request.
What protest by a group of dogs
occurred in 1773?
The Boston Flea Party!
What happened as a result of
the Stamp Act?
The Americans licked the British!
Why did Paul Revere ride his
horse from Boston to Lexington?
Because the horse was too
heavy to carry!
Why did the British cross the
Atlantic?
To get to the other tide!
The Informer 7
Men are just happier
people; what do you
expect from such simple
creatures………




Your last name stays
put
The garage is all yours
Wedding plans take
care of themselves
Wedding dress
$5000…….Tux rental
$100


















If someone forgets to
invite you, he or she
can still be your friend
Phone conversations
are over in 30 seconds
flat
A five-day vacation
requires only one
suitcase
You can open all your
own jars
Chocolate is just
another snack
One mood all the time
(hhhmmm? Ladies, is
this good or bad?)
You can be President
You can never
pregnant
You can wear a white
t-shirt to a water park
You can wear NO shirt
to a water park
Auto mechanics tell
you the truth
The world is your
urinal
You never have to
drive to another gas
station restroom
because this one is too
icky
You don’t have to stop
and think of which way
to turn a nut on a bolt
Same work, more pay
(in most cases)
Wrinkles add character
You get extra credit for
the slightest act of
thoughtfulness
People never stare at
your chest when
you’re talking to them














You almost never have
strap problems in
public
Your underwear is
$8.95 for a three-pack
New shoes don’t cut,
blister, or mangle your
feet
One wallet and one
pair of shoes….one
color for all seasons
Three pairs of shoes is
MORE than enough
You can wear shorts no
matter how your legs
look
You don’t notice
wrinkles in your
clothes
Everything on your
face stays its original
color
The same hairstyle
lasts for
years…..maybe
decades
You can do your nails
with a pocket knife
You only have to shave
your face and neck
You have freedom of
choice concerning
growing a moustache
You can play with toys
all your life
You can do Christmas
shopping for 25
relatives on December
24th in 25 minutes.
I was in the pub yesterday
when I suddenly realized I
desperately needed to fart.
The Informer 8
The music was really,
really loud, so I timed my
farts with the beat.
After a couple of songs, I
started to feel better. I
finished my drink and
noticed that everybody
was staring at me.
Then I suddenly
remembered that I was
listening to my iPod.
If there were no schools to take
the children away from home part
of the time, the insane asylums
would be filled with
mothers. ~Edgar W. Howe
Being a child at home alone in the
summer is a high-risk
occupation. If you call your
mother at work thirteen times an
hour, she can hurt you. ~Erma
Bombeck
books like us, he wouldn't
have discovered anything."
Labor Day is a glorious holiday
because your child will be going
back to school the next day. It
would have been called
Independence Day, but that name
was already taken. ~Bill Dodds
"If there are any idiots in the
room, will they please stand
up" said the sarcastic teacher.
The whole purpose of education is
to turn mirrors into
windows. ~Sydney J. Harris
You send your child to the
schoolmaster, but 'tis the
schoolboys who educate
him. ~Ralph Waldo Emerson
After a long silence, one
freshman rose to his feet.
"Now then mister, why do you
consider yourself an idiot?"
enquired the teacher with a
sneer. "Well, actually I don't,"
said the student, "but I hate to
see you standing up there all
by yourself."
ANOTHER NEW FEATURE!!!
Holidays are enticing only for the
first week or so. After that, it is
no longer such a novelty to rise
late and have little to
do. ~Margaret Laurence
Summer vacation was over and
Little Johnny returned back to
school.
NOW YOU KNOW WHAT I
DID ON MY VACATION
If any member would like to share
a unique story or an adventure
that they experienced during a
vacation, please submit your
articles and pictures to Mike
Weyand LVPOA rep/Informer
Editor
Only two days later his teacher
phoned his mother to tell her
that he was misbehaving.
"Wait a minute," she said. "I
had Johnny with me for three
months and I never called you
once when he misbehaved!"
Physics Teacher: "Isaac
Newton was sitting under a
tree when an apple fell on his
head and he discovered
gravity. Isn't that wonderful?"
Student: "Yes sir, if he had
been sitting in class looking at
THAI’D UP
SOME OF YOU MAY HAVE
NOTICED THAT I WAS OFF THE
YARD FOR A WHILE IN THE
MONTH OF MAY. I WAS ON
VACATION AND SPENT 4
The Informer 9
WEEKS IN THAILAND. MY WIFE
IS FROM BANGKOK AND WE
WENT THERE TO VISIT HER
FAMILY. THIS IS MY THIRD
TRIP THERE IN SIX YEARS.
ALMOST THIS ENTIRE TRIP
WAS SPENDING TIME WITH MY
WIFE’S 82 YEAR OLD
WIDOWED MOTHER. SHE HAS
PARKINSONS DISEASE AND
CAN BARELY WALK. SHE WAS
A TROOPER THOUGH, SHE
WENT WITH US EVERYWHERE.
THE FIRST THING WE DID 2
DAYS AFTER WE ARRIVED IN
BANGKOK WAS TAKE AN 8
HOUR DRIVE NORTH TO
CHANG MAI. MY WIFE’S
BROTHER TOM DROVE US
ALMOST EVERYWHERE THIS
TRIP. ALONG FOR MOST OF
OUR JOURNEYS WAS THE
MOTHER, TOM’S 7 YEAR OLD
STEPDAUGHTER AND HIS
FRIEND FROM CHANG MAI. WE
PICKED HIS FRIEND UP WHEN
WE ARRIVED IN CHANG MAI.
STAYED AT HIS GUEST HOUSE
FOR A FEW DAYS, THEN OFF
WE WENT TO SEE THIS
BEAUTIFUL PART OF
THAILAND UP IN THE
MOUNTAINS. WHEN I SAY UP
IN THE MOUNTAINS, I MEAN
WAY UP THERE. WE JUST KEPT
DRIVING UP AND UP AND UP.
STOPPED AT THIS PLACE
WHERE THEY CARVE THE
WOOD AND HAND PAINT THE
CLOTH THAT GOES INTO
MAKING THE ORIENTAL
UMBRELLA’S AND FANS.
BOUGHT MY MOM A FAN FOR
MOTHERS DAY. AFTER, WENT
TO ANOTHER FRIEND OF
TOM’S . THIS FRIEND HAD A
FRUIT FARM WHERE WE
STAYED FOR TWO DAYS.
BEAUTIFUL LANDSCAPES.
FOUND OUT I LOVE THIS FRUIT
CALLED CHAMPOO. A CROSS
BETWEEN AN APPLE AND A
PEAR. AFTER THE FRUIT FARM,
OFF WE WENT TO THE MOST
INTERESTING PART OF THE
TRIP. THE GOLDEN TRIANGLE
IN CHANG RAI. THIS IS ON THE
MOST NORTHERN TIP OF
THAILAND WHERE LAOS,
MYANMA (FORMALLY KNOWN
AS BURMA),AND THAILAND (
FORMALLY KNOWN AS SIAM )
ALL MEET ALONG THE
MEKHONG RIVER. AT THE
GOLDEN TRIANGLE IS A VERY
INTERESTING MUSEUM
CALLED THE HALL OF OPIUM.
IT SHOWS THE HISTORY OF
OPIUM, MADE FROM POPPY
SEEDS. USED IN COCAINE,
COCA COLA, ASPIRIN ALONG
WITH MANY OTHER
PRODUCTS. EARLY ON
GOVERNMENTS REALIZED
HOW OPIUM NEEDED TO BE
ILLEGAL BECAUSE OF HOW IT
DESTROYS LIVES. AND HOW
THIS BAN LED TO THE 2 OPIUM
WARS BETWEEN ENGLAND
AND CHINA IN THE EARLY
1800’S. AS A RESULT HONG
KONG WAS UNDER ENGLAND’S
CONTROL UNTIL 1999. AFTER
GETTING BACK TO BANGKOK,
WE HUNG OUT FOR A FEW
DAYS BEFORE WE LEFT FOR A
2 DAY STAY AT A BEACH
RESORT, SOUTH OF BANGKOK
OFF THE GULF OF THAILAND,
CALLED JANTABURI. THEN
BACK TO BANGKOK AGAIN.
MY WIFE’S OLDER SISTER HAS
A HUGE HOUSE IN THE
MOUNTAIN OF KHAO YAI, A
FEW HOURS OUTSIDE OF
BANGKOK. THAT WAS OUR
NEXT STOP. I LOVE THIS
HOUSE. EACH TIME I’VE BEEN
TO THAILAND WE HAD THE
OPPORTUNITY TO STAY THERE
FOR A FEW DAYS. THIS PLACE
HAS A BOATHOUSE, A
PADDLEBOAT, A PINGPONG
TABLE, A SNOOKERTABL
E(WHICH IS BASICALLY A
TWELVE FOOT POOL TABLE),
FRUIT TREES, FLOWERED
BUSHES AND PLANTS
THROUGHOUT. THE PLACE IS
BEAUTIFULLY LANDSCAPED. 3
SERVANTS, WITH THEIR
SERVANTS QUARTERS
DOWNSTAIRS. AWESOME
HOUSE!
AFTER CHILLIN’ AT THE
MOUNTAIN HOUSE FOR A
COUPLE OF DAYS, IT WAS
BACK TO BANGKOK . THEN
OFF AGAIN TO MY SISTER-INLAWS’ CONDOMINIUM ON THE
BEACH OF HUI HIN FOR TWO
DAYS. ALSO OFF THE GULF OF
THAILAND. STOPPING BY A
THAI TEMPLE WAS A MUST
ALMOST EVERY OTHER DAY.
SOME OF THE DESIGNS AND
ARTWORK IN THE TEMPLES IS
BREATHTAKING.
ANY SPARE TIME I HAD I
WOULD TAKE A CAB TO THE
TRAM AND THE TRAM TO A
STATE OF THE ART MALL IN
DOWNTOWN BANGKOK
CALLED SIAM PARAGON. I
WOULD USUALLY GET LUNCH
OR A SMOOTHIE THERE AND
THEN PICK UP A FEW CUBAN
CIGARS. I HAD MENTIONED
THIS WAS MY THIRD VISIT TO
THAILAND, WHAT WOULD BE
THE POINT IN TELLING YOU
ABOUT THAILAND IF I DIDN’T
MENTION THE INTERESTING
EXCURSIONS ON MY OTHER
TWO TRIPS. ALSO SOME OF
THE THINGS I NOTICED THAT
MIGHT BE OF INTEREST. WELL
HERE GOES – I PLAYED GOLF
AT SOME OF THE MOST
BEAUTIFUL GOLF COURSES IN
THE WORLD. SAT RINGSIDE AT
A MOI THAI BOXING EVENT.
WALKED ACROSS THE BRIDGE
ON THE RIVER KWAI. WAS
THERE DURING LOY KATONG,
A FESTIVAL TO CELEBRATE
AND GIVE THANKS TO THE
RIVERS. SHOPPED AT THE
FAMOUS J AND J MARKET,
ONLY OPENED ON THE
WEEKENDS. WAS
PARASAILING, ROAD ON THE
BACK OF AN ELEPHANT(THAT
WAS NERVERACKING), ROAD
WITH MY BROTHER-IN-LAW
ON HIS MOTORSCOOTER
GOING ABOUT 60 M.P.H. IN
DOWNTOWN BANGKOK WHILE
WEAVING IN AND OUT OF
TRAFFIC. HAD TO HOLD MY
LEGS TOGETHER SO CLOSE AS
TO NOT HIT MY KNEES ON THE
CARS WE WERE PASSING.
MOST OF THE TIME ON THE
The Informer 10
MOTORSCOOTER I WAS
HOLDING ON WITH ONE HAND
WHILE THE OTHER WAS
TAKING A VIDEO BECAUSE I
THOUGHT NOBODY IS GOING
TO BELIEVE THIS. SEEN
FAMILIES OF 3 RIDING ON THE
BACK OF A MOTORSCOOTER
AND NOONE WEARING A
HELMIT. MY WIFE SAID SHE
HAD SEEN UP TO 5 ON A
SCOOTER. HUMID!!! YOU
THINK its HUMID BACK EAST,
THAT’S NOTHING COMPARED
TO THE HUMIDITY IN
THAILAND. I THINK I WAS
SWEATING THE MINUTE I
ARRIVED AND DIDN’T STOP
UNTIL I LEFT A MONTH LATER.
VISITED THE BEACH RESORT
OF PATAYA 3 TIMES. IT IS
SOUTH OF BANGKOK ALONG
THE GULF OF THAILAND. IT IS
NICKNAMED “SIN CITY’.
SWIMMING AND JETSKIING
ARE THE PROMINENT
ACTIVITIES IN THE DAYTIME.
THE SUNSETS ARE AWESOME
IN PATAYA. WHEN THE SUN
DOES GO DOWN, THE NEON
LIGHTS TAKE OVER. SHOPS
ALONG THE STREET,
RESTAURANTS, BARS WITH
POOL TABLES, STRIP CLUBS,
PROSTITUTION, HE-SHE’S
CALLED “KATOYS” ALL
ALONG AN AREA IN PATAYA
CALLED THE WALKING
DISTRICT. LAST TIME I VISITED
THAILAND THERE WAS
TURMOIL IN THE
GOVERNMENT. A CORRUPT
PRIME MINISTER HAD FLED
THE COUNTRY AND THERE
WERE SOME THAT WERE STILL
LOYAL TO HIM THAT WANTED
HIM BACK IN POWER. SO THE
ONES THAT WANTED HIM
WERE FIGHTING WITH THE
ONES THAT WANTED HIM TO
STAY OUT. WHEN YOU DRIVE
THROUGH BANGKOK YOU SEE
SOME OF THE RESULTS OF THE
CORRUPTION IN UNFINISHED
HIGHWAYS. A LOT OF PYLONS
WITH NO ROADS ON THEM. A
DEFINITE EYESORE. NOW THAT
EXHILED PRIME MINISTER’S
SISTER IS THE PRIME MINISTER
OF THAILAND – WHAAAAT?
THE KING, KING BHUMIBOL, IS
WELL RESPECTED BY
EVERYONE IN THAILAND. HE’S
BEEN KING SINCE HE WAS 18
AND NOW HE IS 85. THERE ARE
PICTURES OF HIM ON
BILLBOARDS, IN
RESTAURANTS, AND IN
PEOPLES HOMES. BASICALLY
EVERYWHERE, LIKE I SAID
WELL RESPECTED.
I DID NOTICE THIS TRIP,
COMPARED TO MY LAST THAT
THE COUNTRY IS GETTING
MORE AND MORE
AMERICANIZED. PEOPLE ON
THE STREETS WEARING
SHIRTS WITH AMERICAN
FLAGS ON THEM, AMERICAN
COLLEGE JERSEYS, BASEBALL
CAPS WITH AMERICAN TEAM
LOGOS ON THEM. I ALSO
NOTICED MORE CHEVIES AND
FORDS ON THE STREETS THIS
TIME. THERE ARE THREE
DIFFERENT FORMS OF
WRITING IN THAILAND. THEY
HAVE THEIR OWN LETTERING,
THEY USE WESTERN
LETTERING FOR THAI WORDS,
AND THEN THEY USE JUST
PLAIN ENGLISH. I NOTICED
THIS TRIP THAT A MAJORITY
OF THE ADVERTISEMENTS
AND INSTRUCTIONS ARE IN
ENGLISH.
SOME OF THE THINGS I DON’T
GET ABOUT THAILAND – IN
SOME ESTABLISHMENTS THE
PORCELAIN TOILETS ARE FLAT
TO THE GROUND! – HOW? WHY
DON’T THE RESTAURANTS PUT
OUT KNIVES? JUST SPOONS,
FORKS OR CHOPSTICKS.
WHAT’S THE DEAL WITH
USING ONE-PLY TOILET
PAPER? ONE-PLY IS ALSO USED
AS PAPER TOWELS IN
BATHROOMS. HOW WOULD
YOU LIKE THAT STICKING TO
YOUR WET FACE AND HANDS
AFTER WASHING. THEY ALSO
USE ONE-PLY AS NAPKINS.
SORRY LADIES, THE THAI
WOMAN ARE LOOKING
PRETTY GOOD.
THE MONEY IS BAHT. THIS
TRIP THE RATIO WAS ABOUT
29 BAHT TO THE DOLLAR.
I CAN PICK UP A FEW WORDS
HERE AND THERE WHEN
SOMEONE IS TALKING THAI. I
TRY TO LEARN A LITTLE BIT
MORE OF THE LANGUAGE
EACH TIME I VISIT. THE WORD
THEY USE FOR ME IS
“FRALANG”, MEANS WHITE
BOY.
I MENTIONED THAT THIS WAS
MY THIRD TRIP THERE. FIRST
TIME WAS 2 WEEKS, SECOND
TIME WAS 3 WEEKS, THIS TIME
4 WEEKS. MAYBE NEXT TIME
THIS “FRALANG” WILL RETIRE
AND JUST STAY THERE.
END OF REPORT. D. D’OCCHIO
#766
The Informer 11