Issue7 - John Abbott College

Transcription

Bandersnatch
Causing students to get suspended in other provinces since 1971
Volume 38, Issue 7 • Wednesday December 3rd, 2008
In this Issue...
Easy on the pedal
Page 2
At stop signs, do not compete to
go first. Be courteous and let whoever goes out first, go out first. Being
late a few seconds will not impact
you in the way causing an accident
would. Wait patiently for your turn
and all will be good. Furthermore,
do not wait until the last minute to
break. Nothing is wrong in breaking
up to 100 meters before arriving at
a stop sign. As a matter of fact, this
will assure – most of the time – that
you stop before the line and not over,
endangering the lives of everyone
using the same road as you.
News oddities
Page 3
When modeling the bra, Wishroom
representative Masayuki Tsuchiya said, “
I like this tight feeling. It feels good”.
Men have been loving this bra and
been giving feedback like “Wow we’ve
been waiting for something like this”.
This product comes in black, pink,
or white. Even with this choice of
colours, there are many men that are
debating the merits of wearing bras.
English,we speaks the
bitch
Page 7
Anybody who is cool, hip, rad, awesome,
uncaring, a rebel or popular is NEVER a square.
Don’t accidentally use this term on them, lest
you be branded a square yourself for being
so foolish. Other important things to know:
“swing” has nothing to do with the playground,
or actual swinging. Also, “swinging” is a more
old school way of saying something is hip, or
cool. To “split” is to leave, or to go somewhere,
and again, no splitting is necessary. Of course,
it’s always best to use the term “Man” as often
as possible, especially if you’re going for that
hippy look.
Sections
Campus Life.......................1
News...................................3
Games................................4
Arts......................................5
Slander...............................7
Entertainment..................11
Opinions...........................13
Sports................................15
The key to the climax: stimulation!
Sarah Sin
Sex Columnist
Fact is, most females are difficult to please
if they aren’t stimulated. Because a lot can
happen in a short amount of time, it can be
frustrating for the partner; she may go dry, she
may be tired- he may get tired and not perform
as well… You don’t have to let it get to that
point. Although it applies to both sexes, I
will focus primarily on the female due to the
fact that it is more difficult for females to get
stimulated than the male.
Foreplay is crucial to the orgasm, particularly in the female. Anyone who’s had sex with
a female will know that it doesn’t happen that
easily without proper stimulation. This can be
fun, for both partners. There are many techniques you can use to excite each other, and
most are pretty simple (though there are the
more complex ones, if you’re interested).
The common dirty talk is a good way to
start. Telling your partner about a fantasy or
expressing your feelings in a dirty fashion will
definitely make the right atmosphere. It gives
both you and your partner something to visualize and see what you or they think. That itself
can get things very sexy. While you are talking
dirty, touch each other, or have one touch the
other, but try to refrain from touching the
breasts or the genital area, as this will increase
the sexual urge.
Foreplay can also be casually done in any
public or private situation, although you must
keep in mind that there are limits as to what
you can do out in public. Whispering dirty talk
to each other, walking around hand in hand
and simple things like that also count.
Now, it’s nakey time, but wait! Don’t take
everything off at once. Tease your partner, take
your time and take it off one item at a time.
Make it a game, give your partner conditions,
do what you must. Take your time, that way
your partner can appreciate your body that
much more, they’ve been longing for it- now
tease them.
For some people touching is what gets
them best. Sit or stand by your partner, and
lightly caress each other, use your fingertips
to wander their bodies, kiss their necks, down
their arms, to the tips of their fingers and
slowly make your way to the more intimate
areas. Touch is one of the most influential
senses in a sexual setting, use it well.
I can give you tips, but everyone is different. Explore each other, talk about what you
like and what you don’t. Your partner can’t
guess it for you and the only way for them to
find out is by you telling them, or by trying
different things over time. If you don’t know
how you like it, there are ways of finding out.
Masturbation, for example, is probably the
best one. Only you can know your way around
your body.
If you have any questions or comments,
or if you want more details on a certain article or topic, don’t hesitate to contact me at;
[email protected]
Confessions of a student teacher fling
Inc’Ogg Neato
Contributor
Have you ever wondered what it would be
like to catch the eye of a teacher at the very school
you attend? What would it be like to have a steamy,
secretive love affair with that usually un-touchable
hunk of a teacher? The beauty of CEGEP is that
this is allowable, as long as the teacher doesn’t
teach any of your classes and you are of legal age.
Although it is usually frowned upon and may not
be socially acceptable, there is a thrilling sensation
at the mere thought of it.
This semester has been my first at Abbott, and
every day I am faced with unfamiliar faces. I could
pass someone one day, and jump forward two
months and be dating that very guy I was checking out in the hall. Every day at school brings the
possibility of a new, unforeseen adventure. I would
have never in a million years imagined myself in
this very conundrum… in a situation with a young
teacher. After several minor encounters, I found
myself increasingly attracted to him, excited about
every potential encounter. It was so wrong, and so
devious, but it was so worth it.
Many of us look up at the stars at night and
hope to find love one day. We spend much of
our lives searching for the right person, but before
settling down with 5 kids and a nagging husband,
we want to live a little and experience a little, so we
of course gain a great deal of knowledge through
our experimental games.
It is a huge turn on when a man is truly a
man. As girls, we are always complaining about
how guys are so immature and how we want to
find someone who knows how to act and exactly
what to say. A man in power is a very arousing and
appealing thing.
I once came across a quote; “Love is a name,
lust is a game, forget the name and play the game”.
Though I was first completely repulsed by the vulgar message expressed, it seems to fit quite perfectly
for this situation. Lust is what drives this sensational
obsession with a teacher, not love, but lust.
It was a few weeks ago when I had my first
encounter with this teacher. A very young, good
looking man who had a very subtle and kind approach to him. Though I thought not much of
our first, extremely short meeting, we somehow
kept running into each other in the halls. Keeping
at a distance, he became a continuous conversation
topic among all my friends, and I felt as if I was in
grade school all over again. It was as if he was an
idol… he became a sensation. Finally, after several
weeks of small encounters, he very abruptly and
un-expectedly asked me out to dinner. Shocked at
the question, I found myself not speechless, but
giggling moronically and cracking a joke about a
triangle. (Not really sure where that came from).
The whole idea gave me a jolt of excitement and
utter fear.
Even though student teacher relationships are
heavily frowned upon, we all only live once. The
whole idea of a teacher asking out a student can
be quite weird and an un-comfortable concept for
many students. Not to say that this is happening
a lot at Abbott, it is in fact quite a rare occurrence.
You will come across many people with very
different opinions in regards to these kinds of
relationships. It is a personal decision, and should
be influenced on your morals, and what you think
is right. For all its excitement and thrill, it can be a
very dangerous one too.
Wednesday December 3rd, 2008 • l
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Campus Life
John Abbott Now In Ontario
cupola also changed its usual John Abbott flag
(with the John Abbott logo) to the Ontario flag
for the filming of the movie The Trotsky.
That kind of thing is not done for free,
but “all the money from the movies filmed on
campus goes right into the college, into the operational budget,” says Daniel Boyer, Student Services
Coordinator for John Abbott College.
The Trotsky, the film most recently shot at
the college, was filmed on McGill’s campus,
so McGill was approached, not John Abbott.
Because of their proximity, however, the two
campuses often collaborate so all
the equipment

has a place to go.
John Abbott has served as a location for
several movies including Satan’s School for Girls
with Shannen Doherty (“Charmed”), The Secret
with David Duchovny (“The X Files”), The City
of Your Final Destination with Anthony Hopkins
(Hannibal), and, most notably Bon Cop, Bad Cop
with Colm Feore and Patrick Huard. In the
scene where the car blows up, you can clearly see
There is a lot to do for the preparation of a
movie. The kinds of movie companies that will
approach the college may be local, they may be
student productions, or they may even be based
in the United States.
“The process starts when we are approached
by location directors,” says Boyer. They’ll ask to
take a look at the college to get a feel for the place
and take pictures so that, if they like it, they can
Easy on the pedal
Lance Bui
Production Staff
A bit more than a month ago, I was
rear-ended driving to school. I was late,
shaken up for a few hours and had trouble imagining myself behind the steering
wheel of a car for a while. Mind you,
this was because the other driver was
not paying attention to the road.
With the winter coming up, paying attention will no longer be the only factor
for the safety of everyone, but also the
conditions of the road. Uncontrollable
unfortunate incidents will be the main
worry of the season. That is why everyone must be on the alert coming in and
out of the John Abbott campus.
Roads will be slippery and traffic will
likely be heavier due to the increase in
the number of cars and the decrease in
the amount of parking spaces. Drive
up and down the hills slowly, decelerate
when nearing curves and try as much
as possible to keep your lanes. These
are a few of the countless advices I
could give.
As of December 15 th , by law everyone must have their winter tires on.
However, do not put your entire trust
in them and drive as you would during the summer. The layers of snow
and maybe ice too will greatly reduce
the traction between the vehicle and
the road. Skidding and slipping will
• Wednesday December 3rd, 2008
definitely become a concern, especially
with the two overpasses leading into
the college.
Fur ther more, with “night-time”
hitting a lot earlier nowadays, reduced
visibility will also be a factor to consider.
It is almost impossible to see the other
side when engaging the overpass all the
way to the top. So I implore everyone
to drive slowly.Also, be polite with your
headlights. Definitely tur n them on
when it is dark outside, but do not blind
oncoming vehicles for this can also be
the cause of accidents.
For some of you, driving slowly and
safely will not be cool. However, falling
into a ditch or crashing into someone
then having to wait for assistance is not
cool either.
At stop signs, do not compete to
go first. Be courteous and let whoever
goes out first, go out first. Being late a
few seconds will not impact you in the
way causing an accident would. Wait
patiently for your turn and all will be
good. Furthermore, do not wait until the
last minute to break. Nothing is wrong
in breaking up to 100 meters before
arriving at a stop sign. As a matter of
fact, this will assure – most of the time
– that you stop before the line and not
over, endangering the lives of everyone
using the same road as you.
The most important piece of advice
would have to be the following one:
keep a safe distance between you and
involved in.” For example, Mr. Boyer was once
approached by Bikini Girls on Ice, which turned out
to be a slasher movie about an entire girls’ volleyball team who get systematically eliminated. “We
rejected the script because it was not something
we wanted to be a part of.”
From time to time, when films come on campus, they’ll ask John Abbott to approach various
people, usually through the Student Employment
Centre, to sign up for spots as extras.
According to Boyer, there are many reasons
why movie companies are interested in using John
Abbott as a setting for their movies. First of all,
it’s a beautiful campus with its many trees and old
buildings. Secondly, while filming at the college,
the movie companies do not have to worry about
closing off major downtown streets, as they did in
Toronto for The Incredible Hulk.
Mr. Boyer also mentioned that he was recently
approached about filming the pilot episode to
present to the television companies for an upcoming T.V. series.
Will Attar
Editor-in-Chief
Matt Guité
Assistant Editor-in-Chief
Megan Chan
News Editor
Miranda Ross
Campus Life Editor
Stephanie Hunziker
Entertainment Editor
Morgan Lang
Arts Editor
David Anderson Esq.
Opinions Editor
Dave Leroux
Games Page Editor
the vehicle in front of you. Nothing is
more important. No one can foretell if
their cars will be able to safely break
when approaching a stop sign or a red
light. That is why increasing the distance
between the vehicles is imperative.
If everyone pitches in and makes an
effort to keep our roads safe, we could
all have an uneventful winter.
Essentially, it all comes down to this:
drivers, be mindful of pedestrians and
pedestrians, be careful of drivers.
Andrew Hachey
Sports Editor
Sarah Giancola
Production Manager
Danielle Taillon
Office Manager
Open
Webmaster
Bandersnatch is the student-run Alternative Press
at John Abbott College. It is published every two
weeks and is partially funded by the Student Activities
Commitee and by advertising solicited members.
Submissions are welcome and become property of
Bandersnatch. Submissions must be sent via E-mail to
[email protected] and must be in Plain
Text format (.txt) or Microsoft Word Document format
(.doc). All submissions must include the full name and
telephone number of the contributor, as well as the
e-mail address if applicable. Bandersnatch reserves the
right to reject submissions or to edit any submissions
for length, legality, or clarity. Submissions should be
a maximum of 500 words but may be printed if they
are worthwhile. Spelling and grammar will not be
corrected on submissions as it is the responsibility of
the contributor to correct them. Submissions should be
dropped off at the Bandersnatch office, located in the
basement of Herzberg, room H-041 (across from the
hallway entrance of The Oval).
Bandersnatch Campus Life
News Oddities
Will Attar
Editor-in-Chief
Frozen food thief nabbed
A 51 year old man was caught breaking
into Miami Valley Child Development preschool carrying a bag containing screwdrivers, cutting pliers, and a flashlight.
After setting off an alarm and getting
caught, the police looked further into
the bag to discover the stolen items: four
frozen food dinners. The man climbed in
through the window of the teachers lounge
and raided the freezer.
Bro/manzier is a top seller in
Japan
The Wishroom Shop, a store part of
the major Japanese online mall Rakuten,
has sold over 300 men’s bras for $30
each. This is only two weeks after having
launched it. The shop also sells men’s panties as well as woman’s lingerie.
When modeling the bra, Wishroom
representative Masayuki Tsuchiya said, “ I
like this tight feeling. It feels good”.
Men have been loving this bra and been
giving feedback like “Wow we’ve been
waiting for something like this”.
This product comes in black, pink, or
white. Even with this choice of colours,
there are many men that are debating the
merits of wearing bras.
Bandit caught with pants down!
In Nebraska, a vandalism streak was
finally put to end when the notorious “butt
bandit” was caught by police officer Dana
Miller when he had been trying to hide in
the shadows near a parking lot. The officer
approached him and noticed his partially
erect penis popping out of his pants. She also
noticed that he had a bottle of baby lotion
in his pocket. When asked, the bandit, Tom
Larvie, denied having done anything. Officer
Miller then photographed his foot prints and
the bottle and Tom left.
“I then went to Main Street where I
noticed that the Niobrara Council Office
and Pamida Pharmacy had what appeared
to be penis imprints on the windows with
lotion substance. The lotion smelled like
Baby Magic. I then left Main Street and went
to 227 N. Victoria St. to find Tom Larvie.
Tome met me outside. I told Tom he was
Visuals
under arrest.”
Larvie had been going to local businesses
and imprinting his butt cheeks and penis
on the windows. For some windows, he
would stick a gay pornographic page from a
magazine. When in custody, he made remarks
about wanting to harm himself, so he was
sent for emergency protective custody to
Great Plains Regional Medical Center.
First kiss at the alter
Chicago couple Melody LaLuz and
Claudaniel Fabien had their first kiss at the
alter.
The two of them teach abstinence at
public schools and happen to practice what
they preach. They have never kissed and
never been alone in a house together. The
wedding guests went wild during the couples
two minute first kiss.
The couple says they have no worries about
how they will spend their honeymoon.
SUJAC UPDATE
Hey everyone! The semester is
coming to an end and we’re moving into exam period. To lighten
up cr unch time, the college has
been busy raising money for the
Christmas Fund. The Loonie Line
raised twelve thousand dollars to
help strug gling students at John
Abbott College. We’re also in the
process of calculating the money
that was raised at the Bake and
Craft sale.
The St-Anne’s Parade also managed to spread to Christmas cheer
and John Abbott took part by giving out Candy Canes.
The students can also look
forward to an extra study day on
December 8th. The college will
be closed to give students who
are eligible a chance to vote in
the Provincial election. However,
Wednesday December 10th will
become a Monday schedule. So
study hard everyone! Good luck on
your exams and have a safe winter
break!
(Left) Wednesday, November 26, was the
start of a terrorist attack at the Taj Mahal Hotel
in India. By the upcoming Saturday, November
29, the attacks had finally come to an end.
On Sunday, mourners gathered together
to pay tribute to those police officers who had
lost their lives in the process of stopping the
attacks.
The Nariman House, a Chabad Lubavitch
Jewish center in Mumbai was one of the places
under attack. Another place was the Leopold’s
Cafe, a place that normally attracted a large
number of tourists.
“I think their intention was to kill as many
people as possible and do as much physical damage as possible,” said P. R. S. Oberoi, chairman of
the Oberoi Group, which manages the hotel.
from the Editor
(Below) November 28, this picture was taken
of a man running through a square in downtown
Lima, Peru. This man was dressed up for an
AIDS and HIV prevention campaign.
Around the world, different ways for AIDS
and HIV awareness are being done in commemoration of International AIDS Day that
took place on December 1.
Madrid, Spain held up a giant, red ribbon
that held pictures of the faces. In India, members
of Thalassemia and AIDS prevention societies
held a candlelit rally. Volunteers in Beijing held
a giant red ribbon close to the Bird Nest from
the recent Beijing Olympics.
This year’s message for Wold AIDS Day is:
Stop AIDS, Keep the Promise.
(Right) According to a senior official in
Jakarta, Indonesia, there’s an estimated two thousand small islands at risk of disappearing due to
excessive mining and other damaging activities.
Maritime Affairs and Fisheries Minister
Freddy Numberi has said that already more
than twenty-four small islands have already
disappeared.
Indonesia has over seventeen thousand
islands.
“Uncontrolled mining activities continue to
threaten the existence of those small islands but
I wonder why nobody, including the hundreds of
state and private institutes of higher leaning in the
country, speaks up and does something to stop
those activities,” said the Minister.
Bandersnatch News
Wednesday December 3rd, 2008 • Games
with Dave Leroux
Fighting WWII with Jack Bauer
David Leroux
Games Editor
I have to say that I was a little shocked because
I remember playing a game called Call of Duty 4:
Modern Warfare, a gritty, first person shooter, which
was set in modern day warfare. Hearing that the
next installment would be coming out, I truly
believed at that time that the next Call of Duty instalment would focus on modern combat as well. I was
sick, and tired of the franchise painting the picture
that the US were the only ones fighting in the war,
and that the rest of the allies sat back while watching
old Uncle Sam punching the Nazi regime in the
face. So when I watched the preview for Call of Duty
5: World at War, which showed yet again WWII era
warfare, I died a bit on the inside. Now after playing
the game, I’ve lost my old mentality because this
game has risen above my low expectations.
World at War’s solo campaign has two plots, the
American (grrrr), and the Russian. In the American
campaign, you play as Private Miller, and with your
squad, you battle against the Japanese army at every
turn, inching your way slowly to Okinawa. The
game began fairly graphically as you find out you
are being tortured in a Japanese POW camp. The
player immerses further into the games grittiness
when they witness the savage beating of a fellow
soldier with a metal pole. Prior to your inevitable
demise, the menacing Japanese soldier is assassinated and you are freed by Corporal Roebuck,
the leader of your squad, who is played by Keifer
Sutherland. I kept waiting between cut scenes to
see the 24 clock counting.
The Russian plot follows the story of Private
Dimitri Petrenko, who becomes an idol to the
Red Army as they push into Berlin to capture
Hitler’s chill zone (the Reichstag). The plot begins
in Stalingrad, with you waking in a half destroyed
fountain, littered with the bodies of your fallen comrades,
much like in the film Enemy at
the Gates. In the fountain you
find Sergeant Reznov, who is
played by Gary Oldman. The
Sergeant has injured his hand
and therefore recruits you
to help him snipe the Nazi
commander in charge of the
assault on Stalingrad
Upon completing the
campaign, World at War pitches a whole new ball
game into the mix. You now can play the newgame
type colourfully named, “Nazi Zombies”. I of
course played it, wondering how long it would
take before it got ridiculous and I would have to
shut off the system in annoyance. The effect was
the opposite as it was increasingly challenging and
fun. The multiplayer only needs a short mention
because it is pretty much a clone of the Call of Duty
4 setup, which was a smart move as it was the best
setup for this genre of online play. What’s different
is that you are using WWII era guns, and instead of
calling in a chopper, you call in the dogs.
This game has a great storyline, and the same
award wining multiplayer format. Call of Duty 5:
World at War, will blow you out of the water and
hook you in. I suggest you buy the game as it most
definitely is worth the time and money for the
amount of fun you will get from it.
realistic games because the trip through the desert
took the actual travel time of eight hours at a maximum speed of 45 mph. The game was also touted
as the world’s most boring game since it was entirely
uneventful (except for a bug splat after five hours
of play). Driving the bus off-road would cause the
bus to break down and the player would be towed
back home in real time. Reaching Las Vegas earns
you a point and you are given the option to drive
home for another point. Driving home has the
added difficulty of nightfall – the game gets darker
until you are guided only by your headlights.
In 2003, the creators of the web-comic “Penny
Arcade” started a charity called “Child’s Play”. Their
charity revolved around raising as much money
as possible to buy toys and games for children in
hospitals. Originally it was to reverse the negative
light that was cast on gamers by the media (keep
in mind this was the year Grand Theft Auto: Vice
City was released). The success of the event in 2003
grew into a full fledged charity which has pulled in
millions of dollars for charity by using video game
related events. The most popular event is the Child’s
Play Charity Ball, where exclusive Penny Arcade
merchandise and art is auctioned off
along with thousands of dollars’ worth
of video game paraphernalia donated
by video game companies.
In 2007, the British Columbian
comedy group LoadingReadyRun
found themselves inspired by Child’s
Play. Unfortunately they were also motivated by their lack of sanity. The group
started a marathon of Desert Bus called
“Desert Bus for Hope”. The goal of the
event was to raise money for the Child’s
Play charity by having people donate money to
keep them playing. There is a set sum of required
donations and every time this amount is reached,
an hour of gameplay is added on and the sum is
increased for the next hour. Basically, the more
money people donate, the longer the group must
suffer through the game.
The event became immensely popular and
received a total of $22 805. This equates to four
and a half days of non stop gameplay. Penn and
Teller themselves caught wind of the event and
called in to show their support, along with making
a donation and buy the group pizza.
LoadingReadyRun is at it again this year. The
success of their first attempt has inspired them
to brave the desert roads once more with the
deliberate goal of beating their previous total of
donations. As I write this, they have raised $51 556;
more than twice the amount of the first event.
This of course means that they aren’t even close
to stopping the marathon. There are still at least
two more days to go.
If you want to take part in prolonging the
misery of these kind souls so that sick children
might have a happier Christmas than they would
without this sort of charity, you can head over to
http://www.desertbus.org. Once there, you can
make a donation and keep up with the team. There
is a blog where they post whatever tidbit is relevant
at the time (mostly announcing donation landmarks) as well as two live webcams: one focused
on the group and the player, the other focused on
the game. That’s right, you can watch the bus being
driven. I warn you now, nothing interesting will
happen on the bus’s webcam. Such is the nature
of The Desert Bus.
One hell of a charity drive
Alex Attar
Awesome Production Staff
Most charities are out to make money for
a good cause. It’s pretty much the definition of
“charity”. However, if a charity wants to receive a
donation of my hard-earned pennies, it needs to
have either an awesome cause, or an awesome event
supporting it. Enter “Desert Bus for Hope”.
In 1995, the magical duo known as Penn &
Teller attempted to release a video game for the
Sega CD system. The game consisted of multiple
mini-games which would turn out to be either
virtual tricks or scams meant to be pulled off by
the player to take advantage of their friends. At
least, that’s what it would have been had the game
not been scrapped before release. Before being
cancelled, the game was previewed by Electronic
Gaming Monthly and the world was introduced
the to the Desert Bus mini-game. The object was
to drive a bus through the desert from Tucson,
Arizona all the way to Las Vegas, Nevada. The
game was touted as being one of the world’s most
New
Releases
Prince of Persia
[360,PS3]
GTA IV
[PC]
M&M Adventure
[PC,PS2,DS]
Dairy Queen Tycoon
[PC, MAC]
My Fitness Coach
[Wii]
Kingdom Hearts Re: Chains of
Memories
[PS2]
Upcoming
Releases
Xbox 360
Rise of the Argonauts
- December 16
Verdict: Buy
Available on:
Xbox 360
Wii
PC
PS3
DS
Wii
Rygar: The Battle of Argus
- December 9
Imagine Fashion Party
- December 9
Neopets Puzzle Adventure
- December 9
Imagine Shooting Collection
- December 15
Calvin Tucker’s Redneck Jamboree
- December 19
Summer Sports 2: Island Party
- December 16
Word Jong Party
- December 16
PC
The Tale of Despereux
- December 8
Hidden Expedition: Amazon
- December 8
Prince of Persia
- December 9
Zoo Tycoon 2: Ultimate Collection
- December 9
Azada 2
- December 19
PS3
Sonic Unleashed
- December 9
Rise of the Argonauts
- December 19
DS
Cate West: The Vanishing Files
- December 9
Slingo Quest
- December 9
Dreamer: Horse Trainer
- December 16
Left Brain Right Brain 2
- December 18
Bandersnatch Games Page
Banjo-Kazooie goes Nuts
Matt Guité
Banjo-Kazooie was a game published
by Rare in 1998 for the Nintendo 64. It
was easily one of the best action-platforming games of the era, surpassing
Mario 64 and more or less every other
title to come after it in that generation.
Then the sequel came out, and that too
was a stellar hit, including a very fun,
Goldeneye-based multiplayer element.
That was in 2000. And then, for eight
long years, Rare did nothing of any note
for anybody. Well, if you want to be
really picky, you could say that Perfect
Dark Zero was something they made
of SOME worth, but this is my article,
and I say that game blew chunks, so
shut your face.
Anyways, it’s been eight long years,
and after having been tossed around a
bit, Rare has finally buckled down and
made a real game that actually doesn’t
suck massively. You’d think that all
their awesome creativity would be so
backlog ged that they’d have trouble
containing it after this long, but you’d be
wrong, and I’d ask you to stop intruding
on my god damn article. Banjo-Kazooie:
Nuts & Bolts is Rare’s newest addition
to the Banjo Kazooie series, and while
it does tr y hard to bring something
new to the table, it stumbles a bit in
the execution.
If you’ve played the original Banjo
Kazooie (and if you haven’t, it’s available on Xbox Live for less than 20$)
then you should be familiar with the
main characters, the villain, and the
sometimes ridiculous humour the game
always has present. All of these and
more retur n in tr ue Banjo-K azooie
fashion. Playing both the demo and then
the full game, I was immediately struck
by a sense of deja vu. The music, the
humour, the characters, they all return
exactly as they were ten years ago. Some
minor tweaks in their appearance aside,
everything invokes a very, very strong
sense of being eight years old again, my
hands clutching a N64
controller fir mly as I
tried my best to play a
game that I would later
discover had far too
much depth and intelligence for any small
ch i l d t o g r a s p. Ye s,
everything is exactly as
it was...
Exce pt for all of
the gameplay. Surprise! Yes, Nuts &
Bolts is bringing something new to the
table: vehicle creation! Most of your
platforming abilities (and combat ones)
have been removed, and instead you
must rely on your own ingenuity to build
big ger, badder and faster vehicles to
tackle land, air and sea challenges. And
shockingly, the vehicle creation system
is...great! It’s both easy to learn and difficult to master, but when you do finally
master it, you’ll be able to create some
truly mind-blowing vehicles. I implore
you to search youtube for some of the
more interesting vehicle designs, such
as the ROLFcopter and the Wallrider.
There are tons of parts to create and
endless number of vehicles that can fly,
float, drive, shoot, flip, jump, ram and
even self-destruct.
The problem with Nuts & Bolts,
the problem that really undermines the
whole thing, is that you never feel like
there’s a lot of good uses for your awesome vehicles. The challenges you find
in the worlds you visit are varied and
can often be accomplished in a number
of ways, but at the end of the day, most
races can be won with any standard racecar, and any of the fetch quests can be
won using a tray with a few wheels. The
best use for your most innovative ideas
is either dicking around in the testing
area or exploring worlds in new ways.
Banjo Kazooie is similar to it’s predecessors in a lot of ways. You search
for Jiggies and Notes, you unlock new
worlds and there IS a bit of platforming
to the game when it comes to finding
new vehicle parts. The game doesn’t
take itself seriously AT ALL, just like
the previous two games of the series,
and it honestly made me laugh time and
time again with pop culture references
and really intelligent jokes. But at the
end of it all, there’s a certain something
lacking from this game. The story could
have really used a lot of work, and the
actual gameplay itself, while fun when
you just play around, is rather shallow
and lacking when it comes to the actual
challenges. Hopefully, Rare will not back
down from this attempt to add something new to the series. Vehicle creation
is VERY well done, despite what some
old fans of the series may whine about.
It’s what you DO with those vehicles
that’s lacking, and hopefully it’s this that
Rare will improve upon in the future.
Hopefully it won’t take them eight years
this time.
Verdict: Rent
Available on:
Xbox 360
Games news snippets
Sarah “Sassy” Giancola
Awesome Production Manager
‘Remote’ too common for the US
You would think a corporation like Nintendo
would have it easy when it comes to patenting their
merchandise…apparently not. The United States
Patent and Trademark Office refused the patenting
of the ‘Wii remote’ with the excuse that the word
‘remote’ is just too ordinary. If Nintendo still wants
to patent their remote, they’ll have to find a better,
more innovative name for it.
Xbox Live holiday specials!
Microsoft announced on December 1 their
Holiday Deal of the Week program, running all
throughout December. This will enable Xbox Live
Gold members to get discounts on a weekly item
at the online marketplace. The discounted items
(as well as others) will be posted online at www.
majornelson.com on Monday and will go into
effect on Tuesdays. The Halo 3 Legendary Map
Pack will be the first item up for 400 points, which
is $5.00 (originally $7.50).
Yo Canto Espagnol?
This week’s downloadable songs for Rockband
include tracks such as “Are You Dead Yet?” by
Children of Bodom, “Tempted’ by Squeeze,
“Ready, Set, Go!” by Tokio Hotel and many more.
Bandersnatch Games Page
But wait! Now available are Spanish songs, complete with Spanish lyrics! “Tutto e Possibile” by
Finley and “Hay Poco Rock & Roll” by Platero y
Tu are two Spanish songs now on the list available
for download today.
Better than Gears of War 2
Simon Woodroffe of Wheelman attended
a press event, speaking about a secret Midway
Games project. This unannounced game has been
in development for three months and without
giving too much detail on the game, Woodroffe
said the following: “I just saw a demo of a new
Midway game that’s in development. I can’t tell you
too much about it, but they’ve been on it for three
months and it looks as good if not better than
Gears 2,” Midway is using Epic Games’ Unreal
Engine 3, the third generation Unreal Engine
tailored for PC’s, Playstation 3 and XBox 360.
Confessions of an Analyst: Wii sales
Contrary to regular platform sales which
cause the holders to lose money for the first few
years, the Wii is currently bringing Nintendo a
profit of $6 for every console sold. All around the
world, about 19 million consoles have been sold.
If we do the math, the Wii has brought Nintendo
about 114 million dollars since its release in 2006.
It doesn’t end there though. If Nintendo’s third
party title sales were higher, they would be making
even more.
Wednesday December 3rd, 2008 • With Morgan Lang
Down the Middle
Lindsay Waldron•Contributor
Sworn by the powers of friendship which bind you
He looks to the night, she looks to the day
And you’re left in the middle
Staring down the inevitable twilight
Side by side you stand
Yet you are all worlds apart
A distance too great to conquer
Inner battles too strong to subdue any longer
Everywhere you turn to
Darkness is there to seduce you
Everywhere you gaze upon
Light beckons to guide you
With which side will you chose
To co-exist
At the end of the day shall you go to the night?
Or at the end of the night shall you flee to the day?
Indecisive as ever, you bathe in the faint light
Of twilight
And bask in the glory
Of what never was
Irresolute, uncertain
You bend reality to suit your needs
And vainly attempt to fill the void that hurts you so
As he looks to the night
And she looks to the day
You are left in the middle
In that void of nothingness and uncertainty
In that incomprehensible stretch of time
When light and dark are as one
You are twilight.
Abstract Model
Anastasia Anderson•Contributor
Pencil Drawing
A realm of dreams to light my mind
To ease the darkness of this world from
thought;
It is my deepest wish to once again be
whole
Please rabbit, lead me down the rabbit’s
hole.
He took off at a slow trot, I followed,
Fire Tree
Anastasia Anderson•Contributor
Acryllic Paint
WONDERLAND
Lindsay Waldron•Contributor
IN LONELY company did I venture
The lands far and wide,
Eyes awaiting not sights of treasure
But rather that of rabbit’s hide;
Until I found him beneath the leaves
Green life beautifully scattered by the trees.
Melting
Intent to treat myself to the spoils of bliss
To see the faeries dance upon logs of
hollow
A moment of which I would not want to
miss;
Take me to where tides are kissed by
moon’s tender lips,
Take me to where magic flows from
fingertips.
By the light of the stars we traveled,
And at long last the rabbit’s hole did we
find,
A sight to which I felt bedazzled,
So entranced – all sense of hour left my
mind;
Time sees me now flying among the birds
In my Wonderland, the world for which I
yearned.
His voice a melody, smooth and kind
Rebecca Proppe•Contributor
Photoshop
As he spoke to me of the place I sought,
Bandersnatch Arts
Conservatives get celebrity endorsement
from Cookie Monster. Big Bird disaproves!
Sl a n d e r o u s
E
xe
Larry Kroft
cs
Will Attar
Spy With Crabs
Matt Guité
Pac-Chan
Megan Chanr
Princess Mirandapuff
Miranda Ross
Stephiroth
Stephanie Hunziker
English, we speaks the bitch
Spy With Crabs
Assistant to the Poopy Head in Chief
We are all familiar with the concept of “Old
School”, which is when something old or classic is
considered to be much cooler than something current of a similar variety. For example, riding a bike
may be cool, but riding an old-timey bicycle with
the giant front wheel is old school! On the flip side,
eating a sandwich is awesome, but eating a sandwich
from the 1920s is not so cool. Impressive on the
sandwich’s part, but not cool. I am here to speak
on the behalf of the lingo of yesteryear.
Have you ever watched an old movie, especially
one with freedom-hating flag-burning hippy scum
and noticed how they all talk nonsense words?
They’re always saying “Man” and other strange
hippy things, so you wonder to yourself: what’s up
with the way these guys are talking? As you may
have guessed, these dirty hippies are on their way
to becoming old school. And with a little help from
me, you can talk old school too. Let’s look at a few
examples that you may be less familiar with.
Going beyond the peace-loving hippy scum,
another great place to look to for examples of old
school speech is the 50’s. At the time, young people
spoke all kinds of crazy-talk. It was even funnier
when old people tried to talk to them in their “language”. Trust me, nothing is more old school than
an old man telling his grandkids about how they
should “Forget it man and get with the countdown.
Shake this square world and blast off for kicksville”.
To you and I, this may sound like the kind of talk
that would land Grandpa in a home. But to kids of
the 50’s, this is far worse, than an old square is trying
to talk like them. He might be using all the right
words, but the way he delivers them absolutely kills
their effectiveness. Let’s go over some key terms to
help YOU use them correctly.
First and foremost, you need to know who is
and isn’t a square. This is a cornerstone for everything else when it comes to talking like you’re in
the 50’s. Obviously, nerds, geeks, dweebs, four-eyes,
dorks, point-dexters, brainiacs and...well, come to
think of it, anybody your age who is smarter than
you is a square. Use this term often and with as
much derisive laughter as possible to break their
tiny nerd spirits. Combine it with peer pressure for
hilarious results. Anybody who is cool, hip, rad,
awesome, uncaring, a rebel or popular is NEVER
a square. Don’t accidentally use this term on them,
Queen Boo
lest you be branded a square yourself for being
so foolish.
Other important things to know: “swing”
has nothing to do with the playground, or actual
swinging. Also, “swinging” is a more old school
way of saying something is hip, or cool. To “split”
is to leave, or to go somewhere, and again, no
splitting is necessary. Of course, it’s always best to
use the term “Man” as often as possible, especially
if you’re going for that hippy look. If you want to
learn more or if you want to find more terms and
sayings from the 50’s and 60’s, feel free to watch
some old-timey movies, or even Public Service
Announcements. PSAs are great, as they often
feature old squares trying to reach out to the young
public using their own language. Besides, it’s always
fun to look back and laugh at the PSAs that warn
of “How Pornographic Materials Are Destroying
America!” or “Homosexuality: The Disease, The
Threat, The Menace”. And remember cool cats, if
ever in doubt, just bring up the term “blast off for
Kicksville”. Because, even by old school standards,
it makes no fucking sense whatsoever.
Morgan Lang
Heichachi Kane
David Anderson Esq.
L Block
Dave Lerouxr
Dwarfcraft
Andrew Hachey
Call of Booty
Sarah Giancola
Navi
Danielle Taillon
Duke Nukem Forever
Bandersnatch Webmaster
Slanderbatch is an insert that makes
an appearance every seven (7) issues of
Bandersnatch. Everything in this section is
a complete work of fiction and satire. None
of it is meant to be taken seriously. It seems
like it’s obvious, but people were horrified
by the obituaries. Those are just execs that
are going to graduate and not be with us
anymore. Fools.
Wednesday December 3rd * Aries: Today, the laws of physics do not apply to you. Take
advantage of this momentous occasion by jumping out an open
window. Remember: if at first you don’t succeed, try until you
can’t.
Taurus: The alignment of the stars indicates you should have seven
cups of large coffee ($16.24). Spend the rest of the day playing tag
in the library. Bonus points if you can get staff to play.
Gemini: Your inability to stand up for yourself frustrates those
around you. Turn a new leaf by stabbing your best friend, and
then offer him some hot chocolate to make sure there are no hard
feelings between the two of you.
Cancer: You are studying too much. Put down the books, stack up
on cookies, and then hibernate until exams. You’ll wake up feeling
rested and rawring to go.
Leo: If you want to express your feelings for the one you love,
forget roses – go for potatoes. They are a symbol of diversity and
inner beauty. Left alone, potatoes will sprout pretty flowers. They
are sturdy and can be prepared in many different ways, and you
can even make a battery out of them!
Virgo: Today, you will read your school newspaper. You will go
to class, or not, and you might feel some way about something,
someone, or some place. If at any point you feel confused, ram
head-first into a wall.
Libra: Take a deep breath and think of all the happy memories
you’ve had this semester. This will help when you find out you
have to repeat all your classes. It’s not your fault, though – your
best friend got jealous of you and hacked your grades. Have a
quiet conversation with him or her on a tightrope over a volcano.
* Wednesday December 3rd
Sagittarius: You are a smart, cunning person who isn’t
easily fooled. This of course begs the Question: why the
hell are you reading horoscopes?
Scorpio: You will soon realize the damaging effects
of consumerism on all aspects of your life. All your
relationships will begin to appear superficial, and you will
question your own life. Soon afterwards, you will have a
great realization about life, the Universe, and everything,
but your friends will laugh at you so you’ll abandon the
idea and go back to living your dreary life.
Capricorn: You need to start standing up for yourself and
your own beliefs. Explain to your friends and family that
heroin is not an addictive drug, and that they should
try it. Check out the next issue to learn how to re-re-remortgage your house for maximum value!
Aquarius: You are cute, attractive, and people like you
for your “personality”. You feel as though your brain is a
burden, and you are absolutely right. Rather than waste
your time on something as trivial as an education, you
should start a one-person circus show at the Douglas
Health Institute.
Pisces: You walk on two legs, talk, and
do stuff, but human life isn’t your forte.
End your misery and live your life as a
dog! Living like a dog presents infinite
advantages: pee anywhere you want,
have sex anytime, anywhere, and best
of all – no Christmas shopping!
Megan Chan Obituary
Larry Kroft
Poopy Head in Chief
The staff of
Bandersnatch
stood at the
edge of the
yellow tape
placed around
the crime scene
o f a mu r d e r.
This murder
affected the
Banderites in
a special way,
as the deceased
was their very
own News
Editor, Megan
Chan.
All they knew
was that she had
been beaten to death by a clown, who
then ran off and was no where to be
found. The clown beat her with his own
bare hands.
While they waited at the scene, a tall
red haired man slowly walked up to her
body. After vaguely looking around at
the scene he said, “It looks like she got
the punch-line”.
The crowd then turned their heads as
they heard “YEAAAAAAAAAAAAH”
being screamed by The Who, who happened to be playing an outdoor show
near the scene, as they started playing
their song “Won’t Get Fooled Again”.
Surely, this is one trip to Miami that
Bandersnatch won’t soon forget.
Megan will be greatly missed, as she
was a great help to those long nights
of production, and she will always be
remembered.
Wednesday December 3rd * LOST AND FOUND
Lost - Satisfaction. Reward 500$ no questions asked.
Lost - I’m in a hallway and there are doors that are kind of green. I’m cold and hungry, and I need help.
Lost - Pretty crazy show, eh guys?
Found - Yeah, crazy sucky!
Lost - Oh snap.
Lost - The actual point of a lost and found section.
JOHN ABBOTT COLLEGE
Wednesday, December 3, 2008
“Who wants a body massage? Body massage machine”.
- Road Block
PLEASE PUT this IN THE RECYCLING OR MOTHER EARTH WILL KILL
YOU!
AGORA HAPPENINGS THIS WEEK
MONDAY: Heads of all faculties will settle which deserves the
most funding with a dance off.
TUESDAY: Religious debate between Father McPope and Rabbi
Goldbergsteinowitzman: is Christianity the Frasier to Judaism’s
Cheers?
WEDNESDAY: Polio fundraiser, we need another cure!
THURSDAY: Some science guy (who is not Bill Nye) will talk
about stuff that you don’t understand.
FRIDAY: Film: When Bears Get Chainsaws 2: The search for
Lenin’s gold.
ON CAMPUS
GERMAN STUDENTS - Your drug cards are here! Now earn
reward points on all of your marijuana and cocaine purchases!
FILM MAKERS - Racism. Stop it! Seriously, we’re getting a lot
of complaints and no matter what Klan you’re part of, it’s just not
cool.
STI 101 - We will inform you about Sexually Transmitted Infections in the cafeteria with lots of visuals. Free food and genital
warts picture combos will be handed out.
DANCERS NEEDED - Come strut your stuff in the library. We
need a distraction from studying. Poles will be provided.
CALLING ALL BAKERS- The butchers and candle stick makers
have invaded! Return to base right away! WE NEED HELP!!!
OFF CAMPUS: The semester’s almost over, so how about getting the hell off our property?
SUPER SPECIAL JAY PEAK LIFT! - With this, they will shine
your boots, carry you to the hill, teleport you up, and move everybody else off the run while you are it. There will also be a virgin
sacrifice in your honour and you will be given thousands of dollars until you realize this is all bullshit.
STUDENT SERVICES
COUNSELLING
C.A.L.L. STUDENTS - Counselors have caught you. You’re all
lazy, you know it,we know it, everyone knows it. Stop complaining
about the 4 classes you guys are taking and go make some movies or something.
DO YOU FEEL AS IF NOBODY UNDERSTANDS YOU? - That’s
because you’re weird. Stop being so weird, go see a Counsellor.
IF YOU’RE FEELING LOST OR UNSURE - Report to the lost
and found until you are claimed.
JACADEMICS
POSSIBLE “OPENINGS” ARE AVAILABLE TO BE “FILLED”
IN “ON HER” (HONOUR) SCIENCE- Get it? Eh? Eh? Eh?
FINANCIAL AID
ARE YOU A C.A.L.L. STUDENT IN NEED OF A SCHOLARSHIP? - We’ve got five thou-Bahahahahaha! I couldn’t do it, I
couldn’t keep a straight face. Seriously guys, go into a real program and then give us a call.
BURSARIES: Hey guys, remember all that cash that we “gave”
you back at the start of the year? Well, the college is in a bit of
a financial pickle and so we’re going to need that money back.
Speak to Vinny or Tony in the dark alley out back and remember,
bring the money in cash.
SUJAC
CLUBS
ANIME CLUB- On the last episode of Anime Club...lots of useless stuff happened only to keep you from the actual climax for
another 8 episodes. And some dudes lost their shirts.
ATHIEST CLUB- Meeting in the war-room. Battle plans against
the Christian Fellowship and the MSA may need to be executed
sooner than expected.
BANDERSNATCH- Yeah, like we’re going to make fun of ourselves.
CHINESE CLUB - Okay, we’re open again. Remember though,
we all need to attend our A.A. meetings to stay that way.
CHRISTIAN FELLOWSHIP - Have you heard about this guy
called Jesus? I heard he’s pretty cool!
CSKY - Speakers have been placed all around the school, but
none for us. A reward for those who can actually hear what we
play.
FREE THE CHILDREN - We will keep holding the children hostage until our ransom is met. Also, we would like to keep our club
room even though we are never in it and there are other needy
clubs that can use it. We’re badass!
GAMERS- Donkey Kong has invaded our world of D&D. Please
send level 9 mages. Warning: DK’s Barrels now deal 2d20 +6
damage.
MSA - Someone, I’m not going to name anyone *cough* Ahmad
*cough*, spilled grape juice on our carpet. Please clean it up.
OAC - We have a meeting at Latitude 67N Longitude 23W. Bring
a raft and goggles.
PAGAN CLUB - We have a meeting to discuss how we will use
energy to take over the Free The Children room.
Entertainment
Right on Red
Stephanie Hunziker
Entertainment Editor
Music has forever, and continues to
play a huge role in many people’s lives.
It has immaculate power to influence
many with its use of lyrics and melody.
Music has the power to change moods,
and affect most things which we do. For
many, students especially, music is used
as an escapism and of course, as a way to
get together. The Abbott band, Right On
Red prides themselves in their casual jam
sessions. Though not created with serious
intentions, the band has a perfect balance
of taking their music serious and having
fun with it.
One night, lead singer and rhythm
guitarist Justin Turcotte was debating
with his friend over the phone on what
to call their band. Something to do with
Montreal was the requirement for the
band name. Finally, Right On Red came to
mind. “We wanted something original and
something we all had in common. You’re
not allowed to turn right at red lights. So
we just went with that, but I think we need
a new name”
added Turcotte jokingly. The band
which was created around one year ago
was strongly influenced by the sounds of
The Strokes, Arctic Monkeys, The Killers,
and The Kooks.
With Turcotte’s passionate interest
in his Love Literature class, Right on
Red has begun writing their own music.
“Even though it’s kind of corny, I really
love that class. It’s taught me so much.
When I write, I like to write things with a
more hidden and deeper meaning. I, like
everyone else, write a lot about love, but
in a more informal fashion.”
Right on Red was created with
simple intentions of having a
good time and a bunch of friends
coming together to jam. However,
the band began playing at very
minor gigs, such as Battle of the
Bands and Birthday Parties, and
the ‘just-for-fun’ became slightly
more serious. The band which
has 4 members (Stuart Asprey
on drums, Derek Asprey on bass,
Jonathan Lanni as lead guitarist
and Justin Turcotte as lead singer
Winter festival extraveganza
Miranda Ross
Campus Editor
When you think about a winter carnival maybe you envision some snow
cones, a couple ice sculptures and a skating rink. Last year instead of jetting off
to the hot tropics of Florida, my family
decided we would go to Quebec City
and check out the Carnaval de Quebec.
I wasn’t so down for this, I thought this
was some lame attempt my parents were
making to try to have some family moments and go skating together. I wasn’t
expecting much.
When we arrived the whole city was
in full swing, tons of lights and music.
There are whole buildings made of ice
and I learnt you could even stay at an
ice hotel which I thought was pretty
cool (ha ha). The biggest highlight of
the trip was seeing all the snow and ice
sculptures, they aren’t dinky snowmen
they are huge and range from weird
abstract art to animals and boats. I ate
so much maple syrup cooled on snow
and beaver tails I had to tell myself my
jacket shrunk.
At the carnival there was plenty for
me to do but really there is something
for every type of person. If you are a
Bandersnatch Entertainment
sports fanatic there are sleigh, dog and
canoe races daily. If you want more
of a thrill there is rafting, tubing and
ziplining. At night you can go to snow
dances, who knows you might meet
the love of your life showing off your
moves in a snow suit.There are lots of
parades featuring amazing floats, marching bands and of course Bonhomme the
mascot of this whole event. If you are
very daring, and maybe a little on the
crazy side there is a snow role which is
and rhythm guitar) classify their music as
alternative indie. They hope to soon maybe
record an intro album, play at more gigs and
hopefully soon at some bars. Right on Red
can be found on MySpace and a few music
videos are posted on Facebook.
With a three hour practice once a week,
the band members put much of their focus
in their school work. “Even though we love
music, school always comes first. We make
an effort though to play at least once a
week”, adds Turcotte, who is in the science
program at JAC.
His musical career began when he was
living in Connecticut, and found himself
very behind in his music class. “I was so
frustrated with being so behind, so I was determined to learn how to play the recorder.
So I was paired up with the smartest kid
in the class, and he taught me how to play
and read music. After not even a very long
time I was caught up with all the other kids
playing the recorder”. When moving back
to Montreal, in Sec. 3, Turcotte took one
year of guitar lessons with Allen Shoddy,
who now plays for the band Stars.
Right On Red, a very native Montreal
and local student band seems to have a
very bright future with their original music. Whichever path this band chooses to
embark upon, they are destined to success,
because at the end of they day, as long as
they are enjoying themselves and doing
exactly what they want, there is no way
of going wrong.
done in only a swim suit, surprisingly it
has quiet a lot of participants.
This trip was definitely a memorable
on. Maybe the reason it was so incredible was because it was Québec’s 400th
anniversary but I have a feeling that this
years masquerade theme won’t disappoint. The Carnaval de Quebec last 17
days, from January 30 to February 15.
Quebec has the largest winter carnival in
the world and its not a far drive away.
New
Releases
In theatres
Australia
Four Christmases
Transporter 3
CDs
The Killers
-Day & Age
Britney Spears
-Circus
Ricky Martin
-17
Coldplay
-Prospect’s March
DVDs
Stepbrothers
Wanted
Fred Clause
Chronicles of Narnia: Prince
Caspian
Upcoming
Releases
In theatres
Local Color
-December 5
Frost/Nixon
-December 5
The Reader
-December 10
Nothing Like the Holidays
-December 12
CDs
Brandy
-Human - December 9
Common
-Universal Mindcontrol - December 9
50 cent
-Before I Self Destruct - December 9
All American Rejects
-When the World Comes Down - December 16
DVDs
The Dark Knight
-December 9
Mamma Mia
-December 16
Towel Head
-December 30
Upcoming
Events
December 20
- Pascale Picard
- Théatre Lionel-Groulx
December 14
- I Will Be a Dancer
- Saint Catherine Street West
June 3, 2008 - May 30, 2009
- Arctic: Walking On Thin Ice
- Parc Jean-Drapeau
Wednesday December 3rd, 2008 • 11
Tina Turner
Jessica Robinson
Contributor
Rock & Roll Hall of Famer and
eight-time Grammy Award winner,
Tina Turner makes her long-awaited
return to arenas all across Europe and
throughout North-America. Her return
to the stage has been met with such an
overwhelming response that promoters
have added numerous shows, exceeding
the original 24. According to a press
release, the initial round of American
dates sold out in two minutes. The tour
began in the United States on October
1, and will conclude in April 2009.
Montreal Fans are still excitingly awaiting December 8, for her performance
at the Bell Centre.
Born in Brownsville, Tennessee and
raised in Nutbush, Turner was recording
as early as 1953. She married bandleader
and guitarist, Ike Turner in 1958 and in
the 1960’s they together recorded many
hits, including “It’s Gonna Work Out
Fine” and “A Fool In Love”. The start
of Tina’s superstar status came with
Word Puzzle
the recording of the ground breaking
“River Deep, Mountain High” with
producer Phil Spector. The 70s carried
hits such as “Nutbush City Limits” and
“Proud Mary”, although her marriage
was disintegrating due to her husband’s
abusive behavior. Tina felt like she was
ready to break out on her own. After
the release of her movie What’s Love Got
To Do With It, Turner had to haul her
way up out of debt. Tina landed a solo
deal with Capitol Records in 1982 and
by the summer of ’84 her album Private
Dancer was on its way to world sales
of 11 million dollars and 4 Grammys.
Duets with David Bowie, Eric Clapton,
Mick Jag ger, Eros Ramizotti, Br yan
Adams, a star ring role in Mad Max
Beyond Thunderdome and a string of hit
albums have contributed to her success,
popularity and dominance in the music
industry. Tina released her last album
“All the best” in 2004 and her newly
recorded single “Open Arms” debuted
at #2 in the charts. In 2005 Tina was
honoured as one of Oprah Winfrey’s
legends, twenty-five African American
women in the fields of art, entertain-
ment, and civil rights. She also was
a recipient in Washington DC of the
Kennedy Center Honors, which is the
highest form of recognition of excellence in the arts in America.
Tina perfor med with Beyonce at
the 50th Grammy Awards
this year and electrified the
audience, received a standing ovation and extremely
positive reviews in the press.
Due to the incredible reaction
and constant request from
fans all over the world to
perform live once again, her
decision was made. Her brand
new stage show features hits
spanning her whole career,
innovative choreography, hitech lighting and Tina’s top
notch band and of course
her unique stage presence.
After almost fifty years in
the music business, still her
powerful and sultry voice, her
long legs and her beauty satisfy her fans and seduce new
admirers. Tina Turner will
One of Canada’s largest rock bands
of our time, Nickelback, has released
their sixth and latest album, Dark
Horse this November. This new album
packs a punch full of studio-produced
and tweaked tracks for the typical
Nickelback fan.
After listening to the eleven tracks
that are on the album, I was hugely disappointed in the insanely large amount
of processed music and vocals in all
the songs. The album starts off with
the song “Something In Your Mouth”
which is the standard heavy rock sound
that Nickelback is loved for.
With a name like “Something In
Your Mouth”, this album already starts
out with the immature, badass rocker
image, and unfortunately, continues
with songs like “I’d Come For You”
and “S.E.X.”. The over-worked songs
come out as annoying, rock-like sounds
with cheesy lyrics that tip the balance
towards disappointing, and repetitive
droning sound.
T he entire album isn’t ter rible.
Don’t get me wrong, there are defi-
but as for classic Nickelback songs, the
genuine rocker value has been buried in
the success of their previous hits. With
high salaries, families following them
in their very own family tour bus, and
Chad’s new straight hairstyle, the band
may say they haven’t really grown up,
but they have changed and it shows in
Dark Horse.
Moving from the underground music
scene many years ago, this album pushes
the band further into the mainstream,
rock genre while they pump out the
louder guitar riffs to try and hide the
mixing of vocals. The vocals aren’t that
terrible, but they are drowned, as I mentioned, and the lyrics aren’t as enjoyable
as they once were.
Although Nickelback didn’t bring
back that raw sound they used to have
in their albums Curb and The State, those
who have stayed to listen to their tunes
after The Long Road, this album won’t be
much a change for you.
The total album isn’t a car wreck,
but as for the number of ridiculously
immature songs outnumber the smooth,
well written songs that provide balance
to a good album.
Nathan Wong
Staff Writer
Contest Results: Congratulations to
Joanne Agustin for being the winner of the
Bandersnatch puzzle contest! Please drop by
at Student Activities to pick up your prize.
Thanks to everyone who participated in this
contest!
Directions: This puzzle is
self-explanatory.
One day, I encountered a woman. She
was widowed, and living with her only stepdaughter. I married the widow. My father then
married the step-daughter of my wife. My wife
was now the mother-in-law of my own father;
my wife’s step-daughter is my step-mother,
and I am the step-father of my step-mother.
My step-mother, who is the step-daughter
of my wife, has a boy; he is my step-brother,
because he is the son of my father and of my
step-mother; but as he is the son of my wife’s
step-daughter, so is my wife the grandmother
of the boy, and I am the grandfather of my
step-brother. My wife also has a boy, my stepmother is consequently his step-sister and is
also his grandmother, because he is the child
of her step-son; and my father is the brotherin-law of my son. My son is the grandson of
my father. Who is my grandfather?
12 • Wednesday December 3rd, 2008
always be remembered as a spectacular
live performer, a recording artist and a
cultural icon with a great ability to thrill
her audience like no other woman in
music history.
Dark Horse,another white sheep Tennent says
nitely radio tracks that people will enjoy
Megan K. Chan
playing in their car as they drive around, goodbye
News Editor
Will Attar
Editor In Chief
For a span of four series (in England,
season is series), David Tennant mastered
the role of The Doctor, in the legendary
TV show, Dr. Who. Late October, he announced that he would step down from the
role, and leave the TARDIS for someone
else.
David said: “I’ve had the most brilliant,
bewildering and life-changing time working on Doctor Who. I have loved every
day of it.
It would be easy to cling on to the Tardis
console but I fear that if I don’t take a deep
breath and make the decision to move on
now, I never will.
You would be prising the Tardis key out
of my cold dead hand. This show has been
so special to me, I don’t want to outstay
my welcome.”
He added: “This is all a long way off, of
course. I’m not quitting, I’m back in January
to film four special episodes which will take
Doctor Who all the way through 2009. I’m
still the Doctor all next year but when the
time finally comes I’ll be honoured to hand
on the best job in the world to the next
lucky git, whoever that may be. I feel very
privileged to have been part of this incredible phenomenon. I’m looking forward to
new challenges but I’ll always be proud to
be the 10th Doctor.”
Bandersnatch Entertainment
Tribute to Rekha Iyer
Lance Bui
Production Staff
Countless times has this question
has been asked: why is Rekha Iyer so
tough? As an Honours Science student
who spends more time doing chemistry
than breathing, I have asked this question while grinding my teeth. The answer
however is so simple, it is almost beautiful to hear: because it works!
Mrs. Iyer’s teaching methods can be
summarized like this: you have a knife being pushed slowly into your chest, but it’s
not enough to kill you. It is just enough
to make you feel the pain and then she
pulls it out and does it again somewhere
else. Meanwhile, you are begging her to
simply shove it into your heart and get it
over with. But that is beside the point.
What doesn’t kill you will only make
you stronger. We must keep in mind
that we do not go to school simply to
learn that one plus one equals two, we
are acquiring a good work ethic. We
are learning to become better people
and better citizens as part of the future
generation.
If everything was given to us on a
silver platter, I might as well just pay
$568.00, get my diploma and sit in front
of my television for two straight years
and then head to university. But that is
not how life works.
Everything must be earned. Rewards
are to be deserved. Laziness should be
punished, and that is why most people
coming into Rekha Iyer’s class suffer so
much. Try working hard, leading up to
an exam; the result is very different from
someone who consistently works at the
last minute.
If I was asked what the main problem
with this whole debacle is, I would have
to single out the idea of delayed versus
immediate gratification. Students have
a tendency to let themselves get beaten
down by bad grades for their first few
quizzes, tests and assignments. They
completely forget that these are part of
a learning process and it is the end result
that matters.
We can look at it from this perspective: if Rekha is so hard on her students,
it is to better prepare them for the final
exam coming up in just a few days.
For those who are thinking of dropping their programs because of her,
please give her a chance. You might not
see immediate results, but the conclusion
of this whole situation will maybe change
your mind. Students of tough teachers
have almost always shown better results
in standardized tests. They are more prepared, understand the material better and
most importantly, after all this hard work,
will think of said test as a joke.
So to those who constantly bicker
about Rekha this and Rekha that, just you
wait and see. When asked why she does
this, Mrs. Iyer answered that throughout
the years she noticed that her teaching
methods work. If the result is satisfying, there is no reason for her to change
them, and I completely support that.
I do not get good grades, let alone
the best grades. I am not a bad student.
Setting my modesty aside, I would have
to say that I am a pretty bright student
People for the eating of tonnes of animals
Matt Guite
Oh boy. Okay. PETA. You all know what
PETA is, don’t you? People for the Ethical
Treatment of Animals. PETA is, in case you
couldn’t guess from that cryptic name, an
animal rights group, and the largest one in the
world. They oppose animal testing, they go
undercover to discover animal rights violations,
they do their part and much, much more to try
and help animals where nobody else can or will
help them. If this was all that PETA was, what
a fan of theirs I would be. I love animals, and I
hate the idea of animals suffering. Animal testing and the consumption of meat are subjects
that I’m a little more unsure of, but the actual
acts of animal suffering is something that I
detest. Personally, I consider myself a strong
advocate of animal rights. But somehow, for
some reason, I just can’t bring myself to feel
anything but anger and hate for PETA. Why?
I ask myself this sometimes. I wonder about
it. And every time, I get the same answers, and
it only makes me angrier.
There is no limit to the amount I could
write about PETA. There is so much to say
that it’s quite paralyzing at times when I try
to put it into words. Last semester I wrote
for Bandersnatch on the subject of PETA’s
euthanasia policy, which I do not agree with.
Not to get too into depth, PETA euthanizes
the majority of the animals brought to them,
sometimes as many as 80-90%. They have their
reasons, but they’re not ones I agree with. I’ll
Bandersnatch Opinions
let you do some research yourself if you want
to find that one out. This article is, just as the
last one was, the product of my hate for PETA
bubbling over, pushing itself past my limits of
self-control. There have been a few reasons for
my ire this time, and I will try to cover them
all, at least in brief.
Have you ever heard of Cooking Mama?
It’s a video game for the Nintendo DS and
Wii. In the game, you control the motions of
tools and hands to help cook and prepare food.
You cut vegetables, you grind up raw meat, you
slice and dice and stir as best you can to make
the perfect dish. It’s a cute, family-friendly
game that tries to be informative and realistic
at the same time. But this was not enough for
PETA, who launched an internet game entitled
Cooking Mama: Mama Kills Animals. In the
game (which simulates the Cooking Mama
gameplay) you must pluck the feathers, yank
out organs and chop the neck of a turkey to
prepare it for Thanksgiving. The game is extra
gory and violent, and is part of PETA’s push to
make Cooking Mama a vehicle for their latest
publicity stunt. They’ve begun to raise a fuss
over the “lack of vegetarian recipes” (in the
newest game, over half the recipes are vegetarian-friendly), as well as the lack of brutal blood
and gore when grinding meats and preparing
food in these games for kids and parents. I
find it especially classy that they don’t stop to
consider that the character the game is centered
around is not a vegetarian, but apparently she
should live by their rules anyways.
If we choose to go further into my frustration, there are dozens of examples, both old
and new. I, personally, would love to have a cure
for AIDS, a reliable and affordable cure. But if
such a cure were found thanks to animal testing,
PETA would oppose it. When word got out
that a donkey had been used as a tool for war
in the Middle East (it was strapped with bombs
and then blown up), and then when a zoo was
hit by a bomber, Ingrid Newkirk the President
of PETA, sent a letter to two terrorist groups
to stop harming animals in their fighting. When
asked why she did not also ask these two groups
not to kill human beings, Newkirk said, and I
quote: “It’s not my business to inject myself
into human wars.”
There’s more. There’s always more of
this stuff when PETA is concerned. In 2000,
PETA released a press release saying that
wolves are “inhumane killers and murderers
of the innocent”. Furthermore, they go on
to say that, “Each year, millions of snowshoe
hairs, bunnies, sheep, mice, barnyard kitties and
other cute furry animals are pursued, subjected
to the most vile torture, and then slaughtered
by thousands of European wolves, American
timber wolves and coyotes around the world.
This horrible deed is usually done so the wolves
can consume the poor creatures, but not always.
Wolves often hunt in gangs, and sometimes
they kill just for fun.” As much as I enjoy this
part, it is the next quote which certainly tickles
me the most. Hopefully this was a joke. I pray
so. “These actions are a cruel travesty. PETA is
going to engage in a new campaign, to educate
the wolf population that non-animal protein
is better suited for health.” No matter what,
I must commend PETA, either for keeping
who understands really quickly. But I
am lazier than a sloth and coming into
Rekha’s class has been the most traumatizing experience of my life up until
now. If there is one thing that I did take
from her is that I do need to have what
it takes. I just needed to put some effort
into it. I will finish this semester a hardworking student, and I think that is the
whole point of this 15-week story. As
for the chemistry part of it, yeah… not
so important.
a straight face through all this, or for making
people believe this idea isn’t insane.
At the end of the day, I like PETA. Yes, I
know, it’s going against everything I just said,
but PETA respects the rights of animals and
has proven that they have the power to protect
them and to root out injustice against them. For
these things, I cannot applaud them enough.
Even if their own devotion goes beyond mine,
be it eating habits or lifestyle choices, I still
approve of their overall goals. But surely you
must understand my frustration when PETA
goes too far? If you were fighting to legalize
pot, and all the media attention was focused on
one idiot stoner who represented all the worst
aspects of the culture, wouldn’t you be mad? I
feel like PETA, for all the good it has done, is
not without fault, and this is what this article
about. I may approve of fighting for animal
rights, but that doesn’t mean I approve of all
the actions of animal rights activists.
No sex, no excuse
Sarah Giancola
Super Production Manager
With celebrities like Miley Cyrus,
Jessica Simpson, The Jonas Brothers,
Jordin Sparks and many more taking virginity pledges, it’s inevitable that young
girls are looking at this as an option
without fully understanding the essence
of this practice. Though it’s a “good”
trend, I think it’s lacking the genuine
care for the issue and it’s remaining a
trend rather than the heartfelt tradition
it used to be.
It’s fairly important for a girl to
maintain a good relationship with her
father. For most he is the one man that
has been around her since she was born
and therefore the one man she has had
to look up to. However, is swearing your
virginity away to her father taking it one
step too far?
Many young girls, particularly in
the United States, are taking for mal
purity pledges. These pledges consist
of a promise made by the daughter or
son to God, or in some cases merely
to their parents that they will keep
their virginity until they are married.
Depending on the person this may also
involve refraining from any type of
contact that can be considered sexual,
such as intimate touching, kissing and
sometimes even holding hands. Holding
hands?! Seriously?
When asked about why one would
t a ke t h i s p l e d g e, a 9 - y e a r- o l d g i r l
replied that doing anything considered sexual before one’s wedding is a
violation of the Ten Commandments.
Provided you have an idea of what the
Ten Commandments are, you might be
asking yourself the same question as I;
where in the Ten Commandments
does it say that any sexual contact
before marriage is a violation?
Thou shalt not commit adultery (Exodus 20:14), the seventh
commandment states that one
shall not commit, “Any act of
sexual intercourse between a married person and someone who is
not their spouse”. Once you’ve
taken the purity pledge, this applies to your future spouse. Any
sexual contact or experience with
someone other than your future
spouse, is considered adultery. This
is ridiculous, and I
can only disagree
with this idea.
Who really knows
who you’ll end up
marrying? How do
you know it won’t
b e w h o yo u ’r e
with now?
For us liberals,
this seems like an
out of this world
concept, and for
the most part, it
i s. I wo u l d n o t
pledge my virginity to my father, simply because it seems
incestuous and nothing I would want
to take part in. However, some aspects
of it actually make sense, such as the
importance of a good father-daughter
relationship, which is essentially what
the pledge enforces. But should a girl
really have to swear her virginity to her
father to share such a relationship?
Want a better setting to share good
times with your father and take your
purity pledge than a fairytale ambiance?
Currently in 41 states there is an annual event called the Purity Ball. This
is a father-daughter ritual, and includes
taking the pledge, the father sliding a
purity ring on the daughters wedding
finger that she will remove at her wed-
GhoooOOOoooOOOOOOooosts
The Late David Anderson Esq.
Opinions Editor
It’s not even close to being Hallowe’en time
again and you know what that means, nobody’s
thinking about the undead. Now, there are many
different kinds of undead creatures: vampires, skeletons, those bullshit vampires that don’t have any
weaknesses, nazi zombies, zombie Hitlers, zombie
sharks with with vampire shark brains, wereshark
sharks (Which are sharks that have been bitten by
weresharks and so every full moon they become to
sharks what sharks are to humans. So they’ve got
like eight jaws and shoot teeth made out of bullets
from their eyes and can’t be killed except by a silver
dolphin.) and like eighty other combinations with
sharks in them because straight-up werewolves just
don’t make the cut anymore.
Out of all of these undead the best are, by far,
ghosts. I’m sure some people would argue that
ghosts aren’t better than, say, demonic top hats who
eat the people who wear them but they aren’t paying
me to write this so I’m just going to go ahead and
say that they’re wrong. Then again the pro-ghost
lobby isn’t exactly slushing my fund so what could
have possessed me to write this? Possessed me to
write this. Get it? Possessed. That’s a bit of humor
for all my spectral buddies. Trust me, it’d be funny
if you were dead.
But there are so many undead, what makes
ghosts better than that dude who runs around and
kills people in their dreams? Well I’m pretty sure he’s
technically a ghost so looks like I’ve won round one.
You think you and the rest of you anti-ghostites
can manage a come-from-behind win? Guess what
buddy, you’re no Rocky.
But enough insulting you, let’s get back to
ghosts. The most impressive thing about ghosts
is probably their invincibility. But that applies to all
undead, I hear you say, you can’t kill the dead. Yeah
right. Vampires, steaked; zombies, shotgunned;
werewolves, hit it with a silver helicopter. Only
ghosts are truly invincible. Think about any horror
movie, “Oh man, we’ve got to kill these zombies”
or, “We need to defeat the head vampire” but with
ghosts it’s always, “We need to totally go and run
some errands for that ghost and then hope that
it’ll go away and stop killing everyone”. Ghosts
aren’t destroyed, they’re just placated because you
brought it’s corpse some Doritos. Admittedly, it
is possible to bust ghosts provided that A there is
something strange in the neighbourhood, B you
ain’t afraid of no ghost, C Nana nana naaaaa na na
na na nananana and D GHOSTBUSTERS! It’s got
nothing to do with fancy guns that shoot science,
it’s all in the theme song.
Besides being virtually invincible, what makes
ghost terrifying? I mean, an incorporeal being can’t
really do anything right? WRONG. That is wrong
in so many ways, I deny that statement completely,
it is not even remotely close to being true, like being true is on a beach in Florida somewhere and
that statement is in a Russian prison for helping
Georgians. Now you might think I’m going overboard in disagreeing with that last bit, but that’s
because if I said that kind of thing in a horror
movie I’d be the second dude to die. Right after
the black guy and right before the slutty blonde
who was topless for some reason nobody really
cares about.
The fact is we can’t really decide what ghosts
can do. They can’t interact with the material world,
except to throw around couches and busses and
14 • Wednesday December 3rd, 2008
figurines of limited edition Green Batman and
pretty much every other material object, but
beside from THAT they can only do stuff in the
spirit realm. Also, they can kill you. No explanation;
you’ll just randomly be all purple and dead and the
coroner will just kind of shrug and say, “What can
I tell you, it’s ghostitus again.”. I assume they call it
ghostitus because it sounds pretty cool. Attention
people going into medical school: please discover a
disease and call it ghostitus okay? That is your new
Life Goal and it’s good to have those, or so afterschool specials have taught us. Don’t smoke kids,
unless you want to look cool and score babes.
But there are some people out there who will
tell you that not all ghosts are murderous jerks who
will kill your family and then ask you to go pick up
some Fresca because damn that stuff is refreshing.
Some people will try and convince you that there
are benevolent ghosts. You know, like Slimer or that
ghost who was with that chick doing pottery in that
movie I didn’t actually see but heard about or all the
ghosts in ghost porn. Actually, from what I’ve heard
ghosts in ghost porn are also jerks; they convince
people to nakedly murder their families and friends
and then commit naked suicide, arguably the best
form of suicide. Not that I watch much ghost porn
or anything, it uh…it just came up in conversation
this one time and I heard it from a friend of a friend.
You can’t see it but I’m looking around all shiftyeyed and laughing awkwardly. Ha. Haha.
Enough rambling, let’s get down to business.
Benevolent ghosts: what’s their deal? Well, while
there are ghosts that are more than happy to give
you some cryptic advice so you can get your hands
on a magic sword or something, there aren’t many
of them around. Being a ghost usually involves
some horrible tragedy happening around the time
ding, cake and ballroom dancing. The
girls dress up in gowns and wear tiaras,
and it’s an opportunity for the girl to
feel like a princess and cherished as
she should feel. In some ways, this is a
positive trend and a way to help their
self-esteem. However, I still think that
they take it a little bit too far, like telling
young girls that this belief is in the Ten
Commandments when it isn’t, it’s really
just an exaggerated theory.
I have nothing against these pledges,
just against the way they’re approached
and understood. If you want to save
yourself for that special person, then go
right ahead. You don’t need to excuse
your beliefs, just do it.
of your death and that’s just not the kind of thing
that helps you look on the bright side of the afterlife.
And since all the other ghosts are giant dicks they’re
just going to spend their days trying to mess around
with your good deeds, which after an eternity as a
damned soul, will piss you off so much that you’ll
become evil.
Plus you’ve got a bunch of jackass scientists
denying your existence all day, which must really bite
if they’re using some algorithm that designed back
in life. Which is another great life lesson: don’t make
algorithms, not even one. Unless it’s an algorithm
that designs Al-Gore-rhythm puns, in which case
go right on ahead.
Aw, here’s a nice little space for a little summary
of our findings. Or more accurately, tellings, since
I didn’t actually go and find anything out and just
told you a bunch of stuff. So anywho: ghosts will
kill you dead because they can, I want some frigging
Fresca and Doritos and uh...that’s pretty much it.
Man, how am I supposed to end with such terrible
conclusions, I don’t have a...ghost of a chance. Oh
wordplay, what problems can’t you solve?
Bandersnatch Opinions
Sports
with Andrew Hachey
Money: Root of all evil? Ask men
Adam Lague
Contributor
How much would you pay for a
chance to play hockey for your school?
It’s not enough. The Men’s Islanders
have been kept off the ice since the ‘90s,
and it’s all about money.
You would think a school like John
Abbott College - situated in SainteAnne-de-Bellevue; a suburb of hockeycrazy Montreal - with a population
of over 7700 would be able to field a
men’s hockey team. This school being
within spitting distance of a legitimate,
regulation size hockey rink makes their
lack of a team that much more bizarre.
However, such is the case, and life
goes on at John Abbott College ‘sans
équipe’.
The Islanders did once hit the ice
though - from the late ‘70s to mid ‘90s
- perhaps making the men’s current absence from the rink even more perplexing. Abbott students in their first year
at the college definitely are surprised to
hear that there is no hockey team to try
out for at their new school.
“I was definitely surprised and disappointed,” said first year commerce student,
Brian Spour.
Spour was an Assistant Captain for his
high school hockey team, the St. Thomas
Knights, in 2007-2008 and knows how
playing for a school team can change you
on as well as off the ice and make things
easier, especially for a first year student
like himself.
“I think it’s great for school spirit,”
Bandersnatch Sports
he added. “It’s a great way to bring everyone together and to ease the integration
process into the school because you automatically meet people that you might not
necessarily have known.”
Jared Walker, a fellow St. Thomas
Alumni, agreed. “I really wanted to play
Abbott Hockey because I feel like it would
definitely be very competitive plus it would
help build school spirit.”
Aside from the fact that Abbott athletes are big on school spirit, they’re also
quite talented. Popular opinion around
campus is that they could definitely field a
team, and a pretty good one at that.
“There’s a lot of talent out there,
we would definitely give them a run,”
proclaimed 17 year-old Walker, also a
Commerce student.
Spour concurred with his for mer
Knights teammate: “I think it would be
a higher caliber than most because there
are a variety of players coming from different associations. Looking at the people
we have at the school we would be able to
have a very good team.”
These students are right; in fact the
Islanders were very successful in their two
decades in action. The problem was never
talent. Like with many things in life, the
problem was money. Despite the recent
outcry of Abbott students hoping for a
return of their favorite sport and rumors
swirling involving this same issue, there are
no plans to bring back Abbott hockey.
Two years after the Men’s Islanders
folded, the Provincial League completely
shut down as well. However beginning in
2010, rumor has it, the league will be back.
Once again, John Abbott College will be
missing in action. With the 14 month window to come up with the expenses closing
fast, the college simply does not have the
time – or the personnel – to put together
the money to field a team.
With 19 other teams donning Islander
colours this year, it seems ridiculous that
there should be no hockey team. But what
many people are not aware of is just how
expensive it is to put a team on the ice.
According to Steve Shaw, the Athletic
Director at John Abbott College, seven or
eight teams could function with the money
needed for one hockey team thanks to the
cost of ice time. Take your pick: baseball,
basketball, football, rugby, soccer, volleyball, lacrosse and swimming – or hockey?
Most Hockey players might choose the
latter, but they are definitely a minority
competing against eight other teams.
You would figure that with a hockey
arena practically touching the school,
money should not be an issue; however Macdonald Arena belongs to McGill
University, and is home to the Redmen.
How about the fact that there is a woman’s team? Jared Walker certainly has an
opinion.
“I actually do not believe that that
Press
Release
Tennis
TENNIS TEAM CAPTURES ITS
12th PROVINCIAL CROWN
The John Abbott tennis team won the
Quebec tennis championship on Sunday
with a hard fought 5-2 victory over College
Brébeuf at the Côte-de-Liesse Racquet
club. The competition didn’t start well
for the Islanders when Captain Caroline
Iliescu lost to world ranked Anne Christine
Voicu 6-0, 6-0 and Hailey Chazzan had a
hard fought 6-2, 6-2 loss.
Basketball
MEN’S AA BASKETBALL SPLITS
WEEKEND ACTION
On Friday night, the men’s AA basketball team travelled to Collège Maisonneuve
and lost 79-73. The Islanders weren’t ready
to play this game and it showed at both
ends of the court.
On Sunday afternoon, the Islanders
bounced back and beat Dawson College
69-48. After a slow start, they Isles executed their game plan to perfection and
led 35-18 at half-time.
is fair whatsoever. I think there should
be an equal amount of teams otherwise
they should not have the team at all. Why
should woman get a chance to play while
men, who are very talented as well, don’t
get the same opportunity as them? I totally
believe it’s not fair.”
There’s an answer for that too. When
the Lady Islanders first started competing, the league was much smaller and not
well known. The cost was more affordable and they were able to co-exist with
the men. It has grown however and has
become very popular. The women are
now doing very well and are not thinking
of going anywhere anytime soon. There
is no way that two hockey teams could be
afforded, thanks to the budget, and the
fact that there is simply not enough ice
for two teams.
Good enough for Brian Spour, a student in Commerce who fully understands
the value of money.
“I think if any, that would be a legitimate reason because it has something to
do with the cost.” He also, using his financial expertise, believes there is a solution.
“I think it would be possible to field a
team. If you move things around, there’s
fundraisers and other ways of coming up
with money.”
Jared, a fellow Commerce student, puts
his school and his favorite sport above any
economic issue.
“I would definitely be willing to pay no
matter what the cost to play hockey.”
WOMEN’S BASKETBALL LOSES
A PAIR
The Lady Islanders played host to
Vanier College on Friday night and lost 8446. Second year guard Stephanie Totten
led the attack with 18 points, 7 rebounds
and 3 steals. The only other Lady Islander
to score in double digits was Rita Sibo
with 10 points.
On Sunday afternoon, the Lady
Islanders hosted Sherbrooke and lost
70-64.
Hockey
WOMEN’S HOCKEY WINS OVER
LÉVIS-LAUZON
The women’s hockey team (4-8) travelled to Québec city on Friday afternoon
and won 3-0 against Collège Lévis-Lauzon.
Darragh Hamilton scored for the Lady
Islanders in the first period. In the second
period, the Lady Isles couldn’t capitalize on
their scoring opportunities and it wasn’t
until late in the third period that Emile
Dolan and Morgan Birrell scored two
power play goals to secure the win.
Volleyball
ANOTHER GOOD WEEKEND
FOR MEN’S VOLLEYBALL
The Islanders men’s volleyball team
went 7-2, finishing 1st in Division 2 in the
last tournament before the holiday break.
Clydes
Presents…
Friday, Nov. 21:
80’s High School
Party
Games, Prizes, Cheesy Music, More…
Grey Cup on the Big screens!
GO Al’s GO!!!
Every Wednesday is 25 cent Wing Night! Every Friday is Cheap Student Night!
Bands every Thursday, Friday and Saturday!