January 2012 - The Ulysses Club of New Zealand
Noel and Olive Duff enjoying pizza at the fish and chip Wednesday
ride….. For more detail, read on………….
Note: Opinions expressed in this newsletter are not necessarily those of the Editor, or
the Canterbury Branch of Ulysses Club of New Zealand, or, or the Ulysses Club of
New Zealand Inc but are those or the contributing or original writers.
Committee Contact Details
St John Fundraising
Organiser: Chris Carey
352-6553 027 662-2611
Sheriff Maureen Dew
338-6655 021-075 -6323
Quartermaster (Gear Sales)
027-475-1732 [email protected]
Welcome to our first newsletter for 2012 and I
hope you all had a good break over the Christmas and New Year period.
On behalf of all the Canterbury branch members I wish to welcome Philip Tubby and Kyla
Hurley to the Ulysses Club.
I hope you enjoy your time in the Club and remember to uphold the Club motto “Grow Old
I would like to thank Brian & Raylene very
much for organising our Christmas function on
the 21 December. Thanks also to all those that
assisted with the setting up the venue, cooking
food, serving, selling raffle tickets and tidying
up after the function. Just over 100 people
turned up and there was enough food available to feed a small army, so no-one should have
gone home hungry. The Christmas hampers were also will received and I'd like to thank Maureen for all the work she put into purchasing the items for the hampers and for making them
The rally season is now well underway for the summer period and the Woodstock Rally
(Greymouth) is next on the calendar. This is an excellent rally to attend and a great ride over
to the West Coast.
There will be a group of branch members departing from the Yaldhurst Hotel at 0900hrs on
Friday the 27 January.
Our rides coordinator (Gene) will be leaving us in late February and heading off to Sydney to
live and work. On behalf of all the Branch members, I wish Gene all the best for his future in
Next month we'll be holding the Branch AGM on the 15th February at 8:15pm. The social evening will be from 7:30 – 8:00pm then a break for approx 10 minutes before the AGM gets underway.
There’s still one vacancy for a committee member, so nominations will be called for from the
floor at the AGM. If more than one nomination is received then voting will be required to fill
Don’t forget to send away your registration form to attend the National AGM in Nelson over
the period 30 March – 1 April. From what I’ve heard there should be a large number attending from Canterbury and don’t forget to check with Jim to confirm the dress requirements for
the dinner on Saturday night.
Over the past 3-4 years the number of branch members attending the National AGM’s and
functions have steadily been increasing, as more members realise that these events are great
fun. Please note that you do not have to register (pay anything) to attend the AGM on
This month’s social evening will be held on Wednesday the 18th January and Avon City Suzuki will be coming along to show us the new Caberg helmets (Italian-made).
Finally – If you haven’t voted yet in the elections being held to appoint a new Club President
at the National AGM, can I ask you to take the time to read the candidates resumes on page
42 of the December 2011 Ulyssian. Hopefully after reading the resumes I can encourage
you to vote for me. Thank you.
Until next month keep the shiny side up.
Mike Dew # 2415
Email: [email protected]
Ladies Coffee Morning
This social event is for the Lady Ulysses members, Ulyssians’ wives or their
Meeting place : Annie's café at Tower Junction.
(next to Baker's delight)
Last Saturday in the month
(ie Saturday 28 January 2012
See you there.
WELFARE OFFICER’S REPORT
Fortunately there is nothing to report this month, no bereavements and no new illnesses that
have been reported to me. Looks like we are all well!! Great!
Only one report of rides this month fellow Ulyssians, what is wrong?????
Newsletter Editor, Ulysses Canterbury
Carolyn Falkenberg #7210
Pics of our recent Fish and Chips Ride in
More pics of the Wednesday Fish and Chip
Ride in December
Another member enjoying Fish and Chips on one
of our Wednesday Rides…
Editor’s note: No captions as none were included with the
email received about the ride
Motorcycle crash statistics for NSW
In NSW there are 200,000 road registered motorcycles. The average rider age is 43 years.
There is an average of 2,500 motorcycle crashes each year. Every week there is 1 fatality and
about 40 riders need hospital treatment.
The three main categories of crashes are:
Rider riding solo = 42%
Rider hits another vehicle = 23%
Rider hit by another vehicle = 35%
In other words 65% of the recorded accidents in NSW were the riders fault.
HALF of all rider/pillion fatalities occur on bends (head-ons and hitting hard scenery). In 84% of
those fatal crashes, it was assessed that too much speed was the cause.
In 70% of all crashes on bends there is NO OTHER VEHICLE INVOLVED.
In accidents involving other motor vehicles; 33% of all rear-end crashes, the rider was at fault
rule. They were following too close, i.e. the 2 second rule. Cars with ABS will OUT BRAKE TWO
WHEELS EVERY TIME.
Intersections account for about 33% of all fatalities and most of the fault of the other driver.
Cars changing lanes cause around 15% of crashes.
Drivers entering traffic flows, i.e. exiting petrol station of from driveways cause approx. 7% of
Vehicles doing U-turns account for 5% of crashes. These are usually nasty ones.
Invariably the bikes were in their blind spot, camouflaged against a larger following vehicle,
‘looming’ i.e. approaching along their line of sight or they simply didn’t look. Regardless of who
has right of way, the obligation to make yourself visible lands fair in the lap of the motorcyclist.
30% of all crashes in NSW were due to road surface; sand, gravel, potholes, oil, water etc. Scan
ahead and prepare to slow down and practice riding other than on clean roads and fine days.
Drugs and alcohol were present in 20% of all fatal accidents.
Fatigue is also a factor in 20% of all fatal crashes. In NSW more than a third of all crashes, half
of all fatalities and 40% of all single rider crashes happened to the ‘weekend warrior’. The most
common time for accidents being between 2pm and dusk on Sunday afternoons returning from a
The longest Day – my way
I had to go back to the Coast; some the photos I’d taken for a story about a one armed fisherman were no good and with the Editor wanting it finished before I went back to sea in a week, I’d
best get cracking. And then I thought, why not do the 1000k as well; the old two birds with one
stone thing. Why not? I could think of no reason why both tasks couldn’t be accomplished simultaneously, together and at the same time before the weather turned to shite on Thursday.
0530 the alarm on my phone jolting me from a deep sleep. A quick shower, 2 minute microwaved scrambled eggs…don’t knock ‘em, come out really good, two slices of toast and a cuppa
consumed while I dressed. Alison was ready to go. I’d loaded her last night.
Full of 98octane, tyres reading 38/42psi, oil and coolant OK I pulled out of the BP on Riccarton.
It was smack on 0600 as I turned onto the Old West Coast Road towards Waddington. What a
magic time of day. The colours of summer, the vivid greens and brilliant yellows were electric
and the smell of freshly cut hay just topped it off. The sun was just about to rise; the skyscape in
my mirrors was a rainbow of pinks, oranges and red. It all bode well for a great day.
The romp up and over Arthurs was bloody enjoyable. I think I may have passed two cars but
with no traffic at all going my way and only a few line haul trucks heading towards Christchurch I
virtually had the place to myself. At 0830 I pulled into the BP in Greymouth, topped up on squirt
and headed north up the coast towards Punakaiki.
What a great part of the country we live in eh! My Little Nest of Vipers and I had spent 4 days
exploring the Far North using Paihia as a base. Paihia is just a tourist hub; its pleasant enough
but nothing to write home about and while there were some places truly memorable, fine red
wine overlooking the beach at picture postcard Russell, the inlet and old stone cottage at
Kerikeri, the romp up 64mile (90mile) Beach, fish-n-chips at Mangonui, a quant wee village
called Rawene on the Hokianga, the kauri museum at Matakohe to name but a few, by and large
I can’t see what people rave about. As for that Markus Lush waving his arms and waxing lyrical
about Northland; I’m buggered if I know. There are some good roads, some great roads...but we
were in a car and I have a mental tick; a note-to-self to go up there again and do it proper like on
two wheels. But we both agreed we are spoiled by the wide range of stunning scenery we have
on our back doorstep here in the Mainland.
Anyway I digress. The West Coast was basking in sunshine. It was warm, it was still, the rata
trees were in flower, beautiful, and the sea with barely a ripple. It was still too early for a lot of
tour buses to be on the road and a few campervans confused about where they were going were
bothersome urging one to be cautious but otherwise it was as a mate of mine would say, a stellar ride along the western edge of Paparoa National Park.
Curly was down at the Basin in Westport fitting a new Scania to his crayboat before he heads
down to Milford for the season. I took a few happy snaps hoping they would turn out OK and
was planning to get away but as usual when a couple of fishermen get together the stories start
flowing with the usual gripes about the price of fuel, the lack of quota, the price of quota, bycatch, loopies taking too much fish, DOC, Mfish, Greenpeace, Twig-n-tweet (forest and Bird) and
a number of other annoying Eco-nazi organisations filled with limp-wristed, sandal wearing
nancy boys and hideous women with hairy legs.
By the time I manage to drag myself away, the Lower Buller Gorge had become a bit more busy;
campervans, cars towing boats, cars towing caravans, cars towing trailers and roof racks piled
high with the necessities of camping but none of which slowed my progress; most drivers pulled
over when they saw my headlight in their mirrors giving me room to overtake which I really appreciated and thanked them with a wave.
I guess motorists must find the sudden appearance of a bike behind them kind of daunting, perhaps a little bit intimidating. You’ve only got to look at their reactions; they almost always try and
pull over as far as they can to the left inviting you to pass but more often as not you can’t so
whenever one of them shows me a courtesy it doesn’t hurt to acknowledge it as you pass.
Murchison was throbbing; there were queue’s at the Mobil station. There were queues at Birchwood’s café, there were queue’s at the other café across from the Hampden Hotel so flagging the
idea of a mocha and sticky cake it was a 2P stop; petrol and a pee, a quick slurp from my camel
back and onwards and upwards.
The blat along SH6 from Murch through to Nelson through the Upper Buller Gorge was as always, very, very enjoyable. I started seeing a number of bikes luggaged up heading t’other way
and we exchanged waves. As I said it was very, very enjoyable until Quinney’s Bush on the Korere Straits that I came upon a slow moving queue of cars, campervans and assorted holiday traffic. When traffic allowed I began casually working my way forward into 4th or 5th position behind a
few cars, couple of SUVs and a Subaru with a roof rack full of canoes. Leading the parade was a
grey Toyota Lite Ace van with faded and peeling flower power logos, a Save the Whales logo, I
Support Greenpeace and dirty curtains travelling at a bitumen blistering 70kph! There was just
enough on-coming traffic at just the right distance to make any overtaking manoeuvre silly and
unnecessary besides I wasn’t in a hurry and I knew there was an overtaking lane on the uphill
climb up the Spooners just up ahead so I sat in the queue and behaved myself.
Did I mention a passing lane? You know the one, that long uphill drag. Well it just so happened
that two truck and trailers were grinding their way up the left hand lane and the plonker in the Lite
Ace decided he’d pass them. Belching blue smoke and barely making headway he stayed in the
right hand lane effectively blocking any passing manoeuvre...except a couple at the head of the
queue who hooked left, powered it and managed to duck back in front of the van before the gap
closed. I couldn’t so sat in 1st painfully climbing up the hill. As we breasted the top the double
yellows and on-coming traffic prevented me from passing but I knew there was a long downhill
section just over the top with no yellow lines.
Yep, you guessed it. The double lanes coming uphill towards me had enough inconveniently
spaced vehicles to curb any idea of passing the lot of them and the wanker in the van with the aid
of gravity had now speed up and was now doing 110. With an eventual break in the traffic I took
the opportunity kicking it down a gear, leap frogged the traffic and moved to the head of the
queue. There’s a gentle left hand sweeper at the bottom just before you enter an S bend and the
80k zone at Belgrove. It wasn’t until I was riding past the pub towards Foxhill did I notice the redblue-red-blue in my mirrors. Ahhh for f__ks sake! Where did he come from? Indicating, I pulled
over, shut Allison down and got off. An attractive petite blonde bobby got out of the passenger
seat of the dark blue mufti and with a smile started to talk to me.
“Hang on a sec” I yelled. Taking off my helmet and balaclava, I hoiked my ear plugs out.
She smiled and informed me I was speeding. “We clocked you at 115kms. Would you like to see
“Was I? No. I probably was.”
What is embarrassing about it all was the queue of cars I’d worked my way through were all
passing by, faces looking my way, fingers pointing...there goes another speeding motorbike,
serves him right.
What about the dickhead in the van, eh? I tried to explain this to the young lass but my excuse
fell on deaf ears so I stood there while she sat in the car and tapped away on a small handheld
where upon an electronic E-ticket was issued.
“Do you know how these work? Can I explain anything about the infringement to you?”
“No thanks” I replied. There was no point in being rude and no point in arguing; I’d got got. I was
speeding but nevertheless felt it a little unfair.
“I’ve had one or two in the past.”
She smiled and it was a lovely smile and wished me a Happy New Year.
It was about 1300 or there abouts when I pulled into my mates place in Brightwater for lunch.
John is a fellow Ulyssian and commiserated on my financial impediment and warned me there
were a lot of snakes (in the grass) between here and Picton...and probably all the way down SH1
for that matter.
After a lunch of left over Christmas ham and salad and a real stand your spoon up in it man sized
cup of tea, I headed towards Nelson proper and the BP on Haven Road. The slip damage along
Rocks Road and Queens Drive towards Atawhai was very evident.
The Whangamoas on the Nelson side were re-sealed a while ago so I was looking forward to her
sweeping bends and hairpins but a grey Toyota Lite Ace van with faded and peeling flower power
logos, a Save the Whales logo, I Support Greenpeace and dirty curtains was crawling uphill at
40kph dragging two matching gloss black Hyundai SUVs. For the love of God what had I done to
deserve this! There was absolutely no way I could pass, there was simply too much traffic coming t’other way. Now almost every right hand bend on that hill has an extended shoulder to allow
slow traffic to pull over. Did he? Did he what! Instead he continued on oblivious to the line of
traffic building behind him simply to pig ignorant to do otherwise.
Over the top, around a few bends and at last there was room, a space. I nailed it past the SUVs
and pulled up alongside the grey Toyota Lite Ace van with faded and peeling flower power logos,
a Save the Whales logo, I Support Greenpeace and dirty curtains. The driver was a not so young
dude wearing a dead octopus and tea cozy (dreads and a tea cozy). So in my best theatrical
way I gave him a few hand signals suggesting he enjoyed self gratification and that perhaps he
would like to pull over in future. I think he thought I was going to do him great mischief because
all I saw in my mirrors was him veering wildly to the left. Well, f__k him! He’s probably the sort
who wants to stop oil exploration and deep sea drilling yet still drives his fuel efficient grey Toyota
Lite Ace van with faded and peeling flower power logos, a Save the Whales logo, I Support
Greenpeace and dirty curtains.
Having vented my spleen, the rest of the ride through Rai, Pelorus to Renwick was superb. A
stiff NW’er was giving me a bit of a helping hand so it wasn’t long before I’d pulled into a winery
owned by good friends of mine on Condors Bend Road. Vinnie, their lovely red setter gave me
her usual warm welcome while Dave and I sat in the sun outside their cellar door enjoying a
cuppa while Chris, his wife looked after members of a wine tour.
Dave who happens to be John’s brother, used to race bikes as a young lad in Wellingtown. He
has an older model GSX upon which he makes others who try to match him, including me, look
rather silly. The three of us grew up together in Newlands (turn right at the top of the Gorge) and
have remained the best of friends for our 50odd years.
Moving on, it was getting towards mid to late arvo by now I called in briefly at Blenheim for a 3P
stop; a pee, a pie and petrol before joining the holiday traffic south along SH1. The NW’er had
really kicked in now and it was hot, really hot so by the time I turned off at Wharenui I was fair
cooking in my leathers.
Phil, the unofficial Lord Mayor of Ward has a batch on a strip of Railway Reserve land just up
from the beach. I could see his boat offshore so taking the opportunity I stripped off, grabbed a
cold can from the fridge and sat back in my t-shirt and jocks enjoying view, the solitude and the
I guess an hour went by, I don’t know, didn’t care. Eventually Phil and Ron arrived in a rusty old
Landcruiser with the boat on a trailer.
“Captain Carefree. How the f__k ar ya, man?”
He asked me where I’d come from.
“F__K me, that’s a long f__kin’ way to come for a f__kin’ badge, man!” he laughed. “Here, you’d
better have another.”
Phil apologised profusely, he couldn’t give me any crays to take home. Fishing had been bad
the past few days. Phil always gives me one or two to take home for Mother. Highly over rated
in my book; I can’t stand the bloody things but she loves them. I’d rather have a sausage. But
one cray gets me enough Brownie Points to ride to Greymouth and back for a cuppa. Hell, for
three of the spiney buggers I can get round the entire South Island! Nevermind, he said. I’d be
passing through here again sometime in the near future; he’d keep a few in the freezer.
It was after 1800 when I finally pulled off the gravel and back onto SH1. Stopping at the BP in
Kaikoura for a top up to get me home, I talked to a couple of Ducati riders on a lovely ST2 and
an earlier model 900 also heading south after a tour of the North Island. With a pie and two
Krispy Koated chicken legs calming the rumbling inside I followed them out of town.
The 100/120kph through the 80kph zone along the coast was a bit of a warning of things to come
and we very soon parted company on the Hunderlees. With moderate to heavy traffic their lane
splitting and idiotic passing manoeuvres approaching blind corners had me shaking my head in
disbelief. And we wonder why other motorists look at us the way they do. These guys were our
age and idiots and unfortunately we all get tarred with the same brush. I let them go and they
were soon out of sight.
I rode the rest of the way home behind a HSV who was travelling at a speed I was comfortable
with but the sun was getting low and it was becoming difficult to see, I was often riding with my
hand up peering through gloved fingers. It was on the strait just before the one lane bridge
across the Hurunui that he decided to use his windscreen washer. The combination of bugs,
road film and water...he was instantly blinded and slammed on the anchors. I was far enough
behind to pass him safely but nevertheless there were times when I was down to 80ks myself
straining to see despite the built in sunshade the HJC helmet has, my visor peppered with bug
splatter. It was on the passing lanes south of Greta Valley where you climb up hill I got sun
strike. There was nothing coming and nothing in front or beside me when it hit thanks heavens,
because one minute I had reasonably good vision if not a somewhat reduced in field of view then
wham! Instant blindness! I slowed, quickly, hoping like hell the Holden who was behind me had
seen me and done the same and at the same rate; that he wasn’t going to take me out. Looking
down I could just make out the centre line so rode using that as a guide until we breasted the top
and I got my vision back. It was a scary, thought provoking moment and I wondered what the
outcome would have been if there had been more traffic around.
My side stand went down at 2130. Alison was ticking softly as she started to cool. The longest
part of the trip was the across city shuffle from Belfast to Riccarton; an anti climax really to what
had been a very, very enjoyable day of riding. Old Huey couldn’t have done a better job with the
weather too and if hadn’t been for the financial impediment I’d incurred during the ride, one of the
better Longest Days I’ve done.
Captain Carefree #3497.
Note; my Little Piranha Fish gave me a ‘camel back’ for Chrissy. I’d been thinking of getting one
as I’d often thought they would be a good idea on a ride and I can now confirm that they are.
While I couldn’t manage to get the nozzle between the chin piece on my HJC whilst riding, those
using flip faces, MX type helmets or the mentally impaired who still ride with open faces would
have no problem. I’d filled mine with a mix of water and Power Aid and every time I stopped, like
when I was getting petrol, I’d have a good old slurp. I think mine holds 4litres and Id drunk the
lot by the time I’d got home. At no time did I feel thirsty, in need of a drink, my mouth dry or
head-achy which is probably one reason why I wasn’t as mentally tired as I sometimes am after
what amounted to a 16hr day. I shall be wearing it on every extended ride from now on.
Pedro and Maria got married. Pedro was a 'man about town' so to speak, but Maria was very
naive and uninformed about the birds and the bees.
Pedro was a poor working man and could not afford to take time off for a honeymoon. So, that
night they retired to his little shack. When Pedro was undressing Maria said,
'Oh Pedro, what is that?'
Pedro being very quick thinking said, 'Maria, I am the only man in the world with one of these.'
And, then, he proceeded to
show her what it was for, and Maria was happy.
The next morning Pedro went off to work as usual. When he returned home that evening, Maria
was on the front porch obviously upset about something.
'Pedro, you told me that you were the only man in the world with one of those, and I saw Gonzalez the gardener changing his clothes behind the shed, and he had one, too.'
Thinking fast, Pedro said, 'Oh, Maria, Gonzalez is my very best friend. I had two of them so I
gave him one. He is the only other man in the world with one of those.'
Marie being very stupid accepted his answer and they did their thing again that night.
Pedro went off to work, again, the next morning; and, when he returned home, Maria was very
upset, stamping her foot on the porch.
Pedro said, 'Maria, what is the matter now?'
'Pedro, you gave Gonzalez the best one!!'
Name: Chris Carey
Nickname: Captain Carefree
Ulysses #: 3497
Before I start it’s taken as given that the most important thing in my life is my family so I’m not going to give the usual naff answers to these questions. So if anyone feels they may be offended
with the alternative politically incorrect, possibly bigoted, often sexually suggestive answers then
best stop reading now.
Carey Carey...yes that’s right! We met one night at Freyberg Pool, Wellington. She was leaning
over the pool ringing a gong during an underwater hockey tournament. Admiring the view, I had
a $5 bet with a mate of mine as to who would take that pair of togs out first. I won. He still hasn’t
paid me back. My father died when I was quite young. My sister and brother were adopted by
my stepfather and took his name; Brooks. Carey was flatting with my sister Ann when I came
across her where upon I promptly apologised and wiped it off. No seriously; she assumed (quite
incorrectly) I was Chris Brooks; she never asked me and my sister never saw fit to point out to
her I’d kept my fathers’ name so it wasn’t my fault. Also known as C2, my Little Nest of Vipers or
my Little Piranha Fish, she’s been my wife, soul mate and mate for 30 years now.
I left school and worked for Fisheries Research as a Scientific Technical Officer before jumping
the fence to the Dark Side to become a commercial fisherman where I spent 35 years killing fish
mostly as Captain of a number Deep Sea Factory Fishing Vessels around NZ and as far as Fiji,
South America to Oman, Arabian Sea and Indian Ocean. Not to mention The Hitching Post in
San Diego to the Blue Goose in Panama and a number of other titty bars to be specific around
the Pacific. Now thats another story. After a year at school in 2010 where I studied towards and
sat a 2nd Mate Foreign Going ticket, I am now the 2nd Officer on an 10800hp 69m anchor handling
platform supply vessel working in the Timor Sea.
Current & Previous Bike (s):
I’m riding Alison, an ’07 Honda VTR-F FireStorm, the 2nd one I’ve had. I haven’t had many bikes
over the years; I tend to keep a bike for a while. My first was a Honda CB350 which I traded in at
85,000 worry free and totally reliable miles on a ’77 XS650D Yammy, the last of the model before
they brought out that gay ‘chopper’ style. I had that a number of years until I tried to take out a
lamp post after 1 too many beers. With the insurance, I bought ‘76 XS650D (an ex Wellingtown
cop bike) which I fully restored and still own. She was my only ride until 2005 when I finally put
her in moth balls with 172,000kms on the clock. The motor has had 1 rebuild in that time and still
runs sweet as but she needs a couple of pieces of bling to bring her up to showroom condition.
In 2006 I bought my first VTR which came to grief in 2008 when a close encounter of a furry kind,
namely one wandering Golden Retriever, took my front wheel out from under me. Because I
found the VTR suits me and my riding style, I bought my current on which I Alison, through Trade
Me. A late ’07 model and the last of that lineage Honda was to make she sat lost and lonely and
looking for love in Morrinsville. The bloke selling her had spent several grand on an exhaust system, DynoJet kit, screen, hugger, RaceTech front end but had only put 6,000ks on her in two
years! I couldn’t understand it. Why would anyone buy a bike, any bike, and leave it sitting in the
shed? What mental affliction causes a motorcycle owner to do this? I fail to understand the reasoning behind it. Anyway I digress. She was almost new and a bargain and how could I say no.
So while I haven’t owned a lot of bikes in my time I have had the pleasure of riding a wide variety
over the years from Demo bikes, rentals and a number of bikes that kind dealers have given me
to ride provided I do write ups about them. No one marquee is any better than another and
while I prefer some makes and models to others I nevertheless get a great deal of enjoyment
from riding any and often. If I was to sell Alison...and I can’t see that happening as she’s a
lovely girl, my heart says I’d buy a Hyabusa. Why? For one there’s nothing else around like a
‘busa. They fit me like my favourite old pair of jeans. They’re a comfortable, mile-munching machine that’ll get you there and back again on 21kms per litre.
If I had a stable of bikes they would be: a 2002 Honda VTR SP2 (like Colin Edwards and Aaron
Slight raced), a Suzuki TL1000R, a 2000 Moto Guzzi 1100 Sport (the square tank model) and a
Ducati 900SS. In other words, proper V-twins before all the eco-friendly modern flippery ruined
I started riding when: 15. You did mean bikes didn’t you?
If I weren’t riding I would be: Disabled, doo-lally or dead.
I’m really good at:
Killing fish in vast numbers. Well I was, now I’m the Navigation Officer on a bloody big tug and
loving it. Would I go back to fishing? Nah! Too much stress! Then there’s the smell. The smell
of money! I could never smell it but those at home did. Seriously, fishing and being a fisherman
gave me and my family a wonderful lifestyle; fishing is the last of the truly free pioneering pathways a man can take. Its hard work in an often hostile environment and I miss that side of it but
I’ve a new career which I am really enjoying and intend to go as far as I can within this career
until I fall over or forever forget to go to the toilet.
I’m ready bad at:
Biting my tongue when tree huggers, GreenPeace, Twig-n-Tweet, Sea f__king Shepherd and
other like organisations start spouting off about things to do with fish, oil exploration, whales,
maritime mishaps, and the like. You see, I know they’re lying. Through their careful editing,
misrepresentation and manipulation of statistics 99% of the public, through no fault of their own
(because they don’t know any better) believe the bullshit these Enviro-Nazis put out.
I loathe political correctness and being expected to embrace cultural or societal practices and
beliefs I have no affinity with. Through fishing where I have worked alongside a crews from all
walks of life, cultures and religions I have learned take people on face value. If you work hard
you earn my respect; it’s as simple as that. If you’re a slacker, a bullshitter then as far as I’m
concerned you’re a waste of space using up precious oxygen others could put to good use.
Collecting modern and historical, out of print, books on commercial fishing, whaling, the boats,
the people, their lives and places and technical tomes on fishing gear development. I spend a
lot of time wandering through 2nd hand book shops and often searching the Interweb. I also collect books and DVDs on adventure riding...I am going to ride the Silk Road one day! Having Ted
Simon sign two of his books is a highlight for me. I also build model fishing boats.
Tree huggers, GreenPeace, Twig-n-Tweet, Sea f__king Shepherd, open face helmets, riding
without gloves, motorcyclists who don’t wave back, motorists who travel at 70kph then speed up
to 100 on passing lanes. I really hate that! Idiots on bikes and by whose behaviour and road
etiquette give the rest of us that ride a bad name. I dislike AAC levies, gangs and paying taxes
so others can sit at home on the dole bludging off those of us who work for a living.
I couldn’t live without my:
The thrill of going to sea, being at sea no matter what she throws at us then joy of coming home
Smartest thing I’ve done:
I’m proud in that over 3 decades at sea I bought the boat home safely through fine weather and
foul with a good pay out at the end of it (in most cases) with no mishaps, no births, deaths or
marriages. A few crew got a bit bent and broken from time to time but, hey, they healed and
lived to fight another day. But that’s fishing and there’s no greater feeling than sitting in the chair
bringing your boat home with the hold full. That and emptying your sea bags when you get in.
I don’t really have one. Sure, hindsight is 20:20 and we could all do things a little differently if we
had the chance to do it all again but regrets? Nah, I’m pretty happy with the way things have
Most amazing discovery of my life:
Riding along a road when a troupe of baboons ran across in front of me and it suddenly hit me, I
was riding a bike in Africa.
Best time of my motorcycling life:
Touring through South Africa and Namibia. I’d read and watched DVDs about it...then I finally
got to do it!
I joined the Ulysses Club because:
It was the only club in Nelson where at 40 I could join as a junior member. The only other options were the Richmond Women’s Knitting Bee and the Presbyterian Women’s Fireside Circle.
Other trivia about me:
I am a part-time tour leader for Ayers Adventures. Google it; www.ayersadventures.com.
I am the first NZ member of the Iron Butt Association purely and simply because I filled out the
form when I did a 1000mile (1600km) ride several years back.
It was nothing special; many
others have done it before me but no one had ever filled their application form out. That is their
basic, initial badge ride. It goes onwards and upwards from there.
I won a 2nd Place award from WWF in 2006 for inventing a device called the CCC or Carefree’s
Cunning Contraption to mitigate seabird injury/death from flying into the trawl warps when feeding around trawlers. They flew me to Brussels for the presentation. So you see, there is a sensitive caring side to me. Give Daddy some sugar.
I also write articles on fishing boats, people, places and technology (electronics and fishing gear)
for a number of magazines both here and overseas.
We have three grown children. Matt, 25 is a Corporal and ammo tech with the Bomb Squad and
is about to enter officer training. My 22yr old daughter Annabelle is an unsworn officer and enters Police College this year. Harriet aka ‘Harry Rat’ or just ‘Rat’ is 20 and a swim coach/life
guard and yet to decide on her future. My wife and I are now ‘empty nesters’ and enjoying it.
We share our home with an 8yr old Chocolate Dalmation called Molly and two Maine Coons,
Poppy and Jack. Jack is a 2WD polydactyl.
I know – but you don’t know!
I don’t know what you don’t know so I’m not sure what it is that I know that you don’t except I
know where the term ‘White Horses’ comes from when we talk about wind and waves.
I know there is only one God of the Sea. Tangaroa? Pah! He is but a boy in short trousers, a
wannabe. I’m talking about Manannán Mac Llir or Manawydan ap Llyr, the son of Lir and the
original Sea God. Manannán is a shape shifter, the God of magic, navigators, commerce and
storms, of rebirth and the weather. He could stir up or soothe the sea and help or hinder ships.
Manannán’s ship is called Wave-sweeper and she is a vessel that can steer itself by the power
of his thought and move without the needs of oars or winds. So you say. Never heard of him?
Oh but you have. You just don’t know it. Manannán has a chariot that can travel over water
drawn by two magical ‘white’ horses. On a windy day we can see him heading back to shore or
out to sea, to do Gods work...hence the term white horses used when referring to those white
caps we see on a windy day. His golden sword can be seen on a cloudy day; those golden
shafts of sunlight stabbing down through the clouds. We’ve all seen those too, just didn’t know
what they represented. The annual Blessing of the Fleet is a Celtic custom still practised around
the World. It’s the Celtic celebration showing their spiritual ties to the sea, their custodial and
conservative approach they have with their environment over the millennia.
See. You didn’t know you didn’t know that did you...but I did.
Oman with a JB Beer in a live bait tank
2010 GSX1300R Hayabusa
Me at Norotshama
Avon City Suzuki Molesworth Adventure Ride
Join the team from Avon City Suzuki for a weekend of adventure riding! We'll travel through the Molesworth Station
Road to Blenheim on Saturday 18th and return through the Rainbow Road, Sunday 19th February.
Open to all riders with road registered adventure bikes of any make and size.
Accommodation in Hanmer & Blenheim will be up to each rider to arrange for themselves.
If we have time when we arrive we will take in Peter Jackson’s “Omaka Aviation Centre”.
We will all meet for a collective evening meal on the Saturday Night for a debrief at a yet to be decided location.
Return journey will be back through the “Rainbow Road” if it’s open. This is a toll road so please carry some extra cash.
A backup truck will be available to carry any gear and provide support if needed.
Meeting place will be Hanmer Springs Main Street across from the hot pools. Please arrive with a full tank of fuel ready to
leave at 9.00 am on Saturday 18th.
To join the ride or for more info please contact Dean or Donald at the shop on 341 3490 as numbers will be limited.
View Online -
Capital “Knees Up”
3 – 4 – 5 February 2012
Brookfield Scout Camp, Wainuiomata
This will be a very laid back rally – meet up with old friends – spin a few yarns
down a few ales
Saturday ride will be weather dependent.
Receipt Required? Y / N
$40 per person includes 2 nights’ accommodation (Lodge, tent or camper),
Friday evening, supper. Saturday, breakfast and dinner. Sunday, breakfast.
Badge orders will be taken on-site during the rally.
Only you know your favourite tipple so B.Y.O. along with your sleeping bag, pillow and
Send your cheque to “Knees Up”, 50 McEnroe Grove, Lower Hutt or
Phone: 04 9702940
Email your intention to: [email protected]
Ulysses Canterbury Branch Web Site:
Greetings. What happened to 2011, time has gone so fast. Here we are into 2012 and the
month has also gone by so fast. Is it because we are just so busy with all that has happened
over the last year with the earthquakes etc? Not sure, one thing I know I will be a year older this
year and still have heaps to do.
I look after the web site for the Branch. A job I love to do, but it does have its demands keeping
you all up-to-date with what is going on the rides page etc. Love taking photos when out on the
rides, then setting to and getting them up onto the web page so you all can see what you
missed out if you didn’t attended the ride for one reason or another.
I hope you have found the web site informative and a useful tool to your enjoyment of motorcycle riding. The web site is deliberately been kept clean and simple and I hope easy to get round.
Some sites I go to are so full and cluttered, it can take me ages to find what I need to know.
I know a lot of you have joined over the last couple of years through seeing what we get up to
via the photos page, as you can see we are a active and friendly bunch of people.
I hope that 2012 is a time of settlement for you all and you are able to live with and accept what
this great City of ours has to offer and we just get on and enjoy the riding and enjoyment of our
The visits to the web site are still averaging around the 900 visitors a month – a little down from
the 1100 before the earthquakes started. We stand at time of typing this at 35851 visitors to the
web site since I took over as web site developer in 2007. These have come from many countries around the world. But the majority are from New Zealand.
I wish you all the very best for 2012 and pray that you all be blest in some form this year.
Please keep attending the Branch social evenings and dust off the bike a few times during the
months and come join us on our Sunday rides.
Robert Edgeler #6969
Kaikoura Coastal Camp, Goose Bay, Kaikoura
Friday - Saturday nights Friday 24th & 25th February 2012
Grant & Pauline will be there if you want to make it a long weekend (book early)
Depart at 6.00pm sharp from the Belfast Hotel (the Peg)
Depart at 9.00am sharp from the Belfast Hotel (Peg)
(If any other departure times they will be announced closer to weekend)
For Canterbury riders – organise your RIC and rest stops before leaving
Saturday Afternoon: Group ride from Goose Bay, with refreshment stop, for those who wish to go
Hot spit roast for those who are eligible, then music and a social chat with a
drink of your choice in the camp dining area
Make your own way home in groups or at your leisure.
There will be a $15 per person registration fee as well as the cabin or tent site fee, which is to be
prepaid to Grant Lomax. The registration fee includes the cost of the Saturday night hot spit roast
meal with potatoes and veggies & tea/coffee for the first 50 to register. (also see registration on
5 x cabins which can take 4 -5 people - $25 per person. 1 x double with single above and 1 x set
of bunks includes toaster, jug and small stove top.
If using cabins, please organise yourselves into groups of 4/5 to utilize as many beds as possible in each cabin OR expect to be told
who you can share with by Grant or Pauline.
1 x train spotters hut which sleeps 7 (already booked) so be early for the cabins
Power/non power tent sites available $13.00pp
Usual camp facilities are available – toilets, showers, laundry and has a large kitchen which is reasonably well equipped with toasters, oven, pots, TV etc and has covered area with BBQ’s, tables and seating where Saturday night dinner and get together will be held.
While at the camp tea/coffee/sugar and milk will be available in the kitchen - provided by Ulysses.
Organise and take:
Own linen/sleeping bags – plates/utensils/cups/ drinking glass plus food for breakfasts/lunches
etc as these are not provided
All registrations & bookings to: Grant Lomax, Goose Bay Weekend, PO Box 9421, Christchurch –
& cheques made out to: Ulysses Canterbury Branch (cash ok, if giving personally to Grant or
Contact –Grant (Sky) or Pauline: 03 322 8764 – 0274 472 685 or email [email protected]
Please book ASAP:
Catering can only be provided for maximum of 50 people.
Extra people are welcome to attend but they will need to provide all of their own meals including Saturday night.
All Cabins will be held for Ulysses Members exclusively until end of January 2012 approx. An invitation to attend this weekend in Goose Bay, Kaikoura has been extended to Nelson, Marlborough, South
Canterbury and the West Coast Ulysses Members, so make your decision and book early.
Looking forward to catching up with you all at Goose Bay.
Grant (Sky) Lomax # 6851
ULYSSES CANTERBURY - GOOSE BAY WEEKEND
Friday 24th and 25th FEBRUARY 2012
All forms of transport acceptable (come by bike, car - bring your caravan, van, truck, or what-ever)
Please complete this registration form and return to Grant Lomax before
Monday the 1st February 2012, as we need to confirm for catering requirements.
Registration form: (*must be completed)
*Email address: ……………………………………………………………
Registration @ $15 per person
Cabin @ $25 per person, per night (Be prepared to share)
minimum 4 people per cabin for $100 –(make up your 4)
Train-spotters Cottage @$25 per person (sleeps 7)
Tent site @ $13 per person, per night – Powered/unpowered Total
Event Badge @ $10 each Number required
Please make cheques payable to: Ulysses Canterbury Branch (Goose Bay weekend)
The $15 Registration fee includes the Saturday night meal for the first 50 people registered only.
This has to be limited due to catering restrictions.
Extra people are more than welcome to attend but they will need to provide your own meal on Saturday night.
Post this completed form with your cheque to:
Goose Bay Weekend, PO Box 9421, Christchurch
Contact -Grant (Sky) or Pauline: 03 322 8764 – 0274 472 685 or email [email protected]
Receipts will not be issued
If unable to attend there will be no refunds. It is your responsibility to fill your spot
If you turn up without registration (tent sites only) you are more than welcome
HOWEVER all meals are your concern. Please bring cash for registration and camp fees to us.
We go up Thursday afternoon, you are all welcome to come up for long weekend.
FIRST IN GETS A CABIN/COTTAGE AND SUPERB MEAL ON SATURDAY NIGHT
For Sale Page
Ulysses Club - Canterbury Branch Logo and Ulysses - Adventure Before Dementia stickers.
They are 70mm in diameter.
Cost $5 each.
Available from Mike Dew at the social evening.
Happy Birthday to our January Members!
Paul St John
32 Allen Street, Christchurch
Phone +64 3 365 3544 Fax +64 3 365 3543
GROUP RATES QUOTED FOR Ulysses Motor Cycle Club
Group Booking Reference:
Off Peak Fares:
Off Peak Dates:
01-09 February 2012
13 February—4 April 2012
11 April—13 June 2012
Car/Van up to 5.5 metres
Each half metre over 5.5 metres
16-21 December 2011
13-31 January 2012
10-12 February 2012
Car/Van up to 5.5 metres
5-10 April 2012
Each half metre over 5.5 metres
Super Peak Dates 22 December 2011 to 12 January 2012
Group Booking conditions and instructions for members are:
Each reservation must be made direct with Interislander – Phone 0800 878-898
Group Desk Hours: Monday – Friday 0830-1730. Saturday 0800-noon. Fares valid 16 December 2011 to 30 June 2012.
• To access these rates members must quote group reference “FA5485”
• Every reservation will be given an expiry/payment date, required to be paid in full by that date
• Space is subject to availability at the time of the booking request
• Membership card is to be shown at check in - no membership car then retail fares will be charged.
Refunds—Once paid for fares are 90% refundable if cancelled prior to check-in and non-refundable if cancelled after check-in.
Calendar of Rides Rallies and Events
RIDES CALENDAR - December 2011
This is a guide only, for the latest info on rides please visit the Ulysses Canterbury Web
Site at : http://www.ulysses.org.nz/canterbury/ and click on ‘What’s On’ on the main
Note --- unless stated below, ALL rides will leave from Shell Curletts Road, or from the Belfast
Hotel (usually known as The Peg). Sunday rides leave at 10.30am, OR as stated below.' Note
-- RIC = Rider in Charge.... TEC = Tail End Charlie
If you lose this sheet you can print another one off on the above page under ‘Printer
Friendly Version Button’
Web Master, Robert Edgeler, Ulysses #6969
e-mail: [email protected]
Sun January 22
Parnassus Roadhouse for Pie
Depart The Peg Belfast 10.30am
See Website for details
Sun 5 February
Ride to Hurunui River to meet
with Marlborough Branch
Bring packed lunch and drink, depart
The Peg 10.30
Sun 12 February
Ride to Hanmer Springs
Depart the Peg 10.00 am
Sun 19 February
Ride to Arthurs Pass for lunch
Depart Shell Curletts 10.30am
Goose Bay weekender
See website for details
March Hare Rally
See website for details
If not found, please
PO Box 4611,