Water Rats.indd - Grand Order of Water Rats

NOT SO DIRTY RATS
THE GRAND ORDER
OF WATER RATS
Mike Martin explains the origins and aims of this legendary
showbusiness brotherhood.
S
houlders hunched in his rain
drenched overcoat, the brim
of his dripping hat pulled
low over his brow, the cabbie
pulled hard on the reins of
his horse drawn cart. Narrowing his eyes
through the pouring deluge, his mood
brightened as he recognized a familiar
face in the driving seat of the adjacent
conveyance. It was not every day on the
drab, rain-soaked streets of Victorian
London that a big music hall star would
cross his path.
“Ere, Joe,” he called out cheerily, “wotcha
got there?”
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Joe Elvin, the famous comedian, was used
to being hailed in the street. Looking
up from concentrating on the rear of
the pony which was pulling him and his
companions along, he responded, “That’s
our trotting pony. The Magpie!”
“Magpie?” chuckled the driver, “looks
more like a bleedin’ water rat.”
Current officers of the Grand Order of
Water Rats, pictured at last year’s Annual
Ball in London. Including, back row, far
right, Con Cluskey of The Bachelors, King
Rat Joe Pasquale (fourth from right) with
60s heart throb Jess Conrad looking over
his shoulder. In the front row, kneeling,
second from right, is Mike Martin the
author of this article.
And so it did, its soggy mane and
slippery coat making the poor animal
appear drowned and dejected. However,
appearances can be deceiving. The
Magpie was a winner, owned by this
syndicate of successful entertainers, a
pony which consistently romped into
first place in the ever popular trotting
races of the era. With winnings rolling in,
the pony’s owners were delighted, but a
little guilt stricken, by the accumulation
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of such extra income. After all, they were
personally doing fine, appearing regularly
on stage, enjoying the praise of an adoring
public. An elite group indeed which
included such heroes of the halls as Dan
Leno, Harry Freeman and Wal Pink.
Although they all loved the thrill of the
races, they had for some time now been
concerned about the winnings. A strong
feeling grew among them that it should
be used to help those less fortunate than
themselves, especially fellow artistes who
might be struggling. With this in mind,
they decided to form themselves into
an official charitable group who would
meet socially while at the same time
distributing money to worthy causes.
But what to call themselves? Numerous
suggestions had been bandied about, but
nothing had grabbed the imagination of
them all until now. Huddled together on
their cart, en route from Epsom Derby, a
chance remark from that cab driver had
sparked a notion. Wal Pink was the first
to voice it.
“Thats it,” he said, “a water rat. The
lowliest of creatures which we can elevate
to the highest firmament of stars.”
Wal went on to explain how it all came
together. Rats backwards spelled 'star',
and was a form of vole which is an
anagram of 'love'. They could become
brothers in love and friendship, with
a motto which boasted 'Philanthropy,
conviviality and social intercourse'. The
Water Rats. It had a fine, unique ring to it,
but why not go the whole hog and call it a
Grand Order too?
And so, in 1889, the Grand Order of
Water Rats became a reality, its first
few distinguished members setting
up their headquarters in a pub on the
banks of the River Thames. With Harry
Freeman as their first King Rat, their
numbers expanded over the years, as
did their charitable activities, gradually
transforming into the most famous and
well respected show business charity
Brotherhood in the world.
Today the Water Rats still thrive in their
elegant new headquarters in London's
Gray’s Inn Road, with squeaky voiced
comedian Joe Pasquale as King Rat for
2012. In the 123 years since the Order’s
inception, the basic remit has not really
changed, but from that original close knit
club, Rat’s membership has expanded
somewhat, although there are never more
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Water Rats.indd 91
Left: Dan Leno, hero of the Music Halls.
Right: The author’s father, George Martin, is pictured during his year as King Rat with the
Duke of Edinburgh, a Companion Water Rat.
than 200 within the ranks at any one
time. Consequently, in the Order’s entire
history there have been well under 900
members in total.
To become accepted is a complicated
business. The main qualification is that
one has to be professionally involved in
the entertainment business (with the
exception of a very select group known
as Companion Rats who must have
proved themselves highly prominent in
supporting the Order’s aims). A candidate
needs a proposer and a seconder and
then has to undergo a long, involved
process before their name is put out to
the vote, a huge majority being required
for acceptance. If successful, the Baby
Rat (as he will be known until another
takes his place) is expected to embrace
the Order’s principles, supporting and
becoming actively involved in activities
which include fund raising shows and
events, the proceeds of which now
benefit a far wider ranging field than just
struggling music hall artistes.
Living up to the original motto is a fine
excuse for like minded men to meet
regularly in the lodge room to relax and
swap stories, reminiscing while looking
to the future. Brother Rats enjoy a unique
atmosphere. Not a secret society but
a Brotherhood, a great leveller where
the famous and not so famous find
common ground within the same unique
profession. Therefore, Punch & Judy men,
musicians, clowns, comedians, actors,
magicians, ventriloquists, jugglers,
singers, agents and rock stars can
mingle in a kind of cosmic stew with
bonhomie, laughter and charity being
the basic ingredients.
And they are all required to display
their small, gold Water Rat emblem
pinned to their clothing at all times,
or risk being fined by a fellow Rat who
may spot them. Legendary names who
have worn that emblem include Laurel
and Hardy, Charlie Chaplin, Bob Hope,
Danny Kaye, Sir John Mills, Sir Henry
Cooper, Tommy Cooper, Peter Sellers,
Les Dawson and Frankie Vaughan, while
current Rats are such names as Sir Bruce
Forsyth, Dad’s Army creator Jimmy
Perry, magician Paul Daniels, ex-world
champion boxer Frank Bruno and rock
stars like Queen’s Brian May and Iron
Maiden’s drummer, Nicko McBrain.
Quite a mixed bag from the world
of entertainment.
The spirit of the Water Rats is essentially
one of good hearted-ness and any
accusations of supposed elitism can be
countered with the simple fact that the
Order exists for good reasons alone.
Companionship and open handed
benevolence.
Rats they may be, but there is nothing
low about them.
For further information on the GOWR,
go to www.gowr.net
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