File - Krazy 8 Golf Club

THE 2015 KRAZY 8’S
QUEST FOR TE
MUSTARD JACKET
VOLUME I, ISSUE 1
SEPTEMBER 2012
K8 Application
I get up... I get down
The 2014 Champ !
THE K8’S HEAD TO O.C WITH THE MUSTARD ON THE
LINE... HOJO IS STILL THE MAN!
Welcome to my
Party! As always,
F.U. Ice!
Another year has
passed and the
anticipation of the
2015 club championship has already caused Ice’s irritable bowels to act up. The eyes and
ears of the sporting world are
once again focused on OC
where the 2015 Quest for the
Mustard Jacket will play out over
3 days and nights. Once Again
Hojo has organized a great three
days of fun. The year brought us
many great times, full of new
friends, the return of old friends,
beer, crabs, and golf. The K8
Season started on a snowy
March
morning at
Geneva
Farms and finished in September. During the year Bermuda
Bob won the Top Cock award
at Pilgrims Oak.
He also
teamed with JB to win Top
sausage awards at the annual
sausageless fest. George and
Dariush teamed up to win the
king crab claw award at Rocky
Point on a rainy and humid
august day. Fimmer and Jimmer won the Flag day Glory
Hole Open, while Ken cap-
God Bless you Rocket Man and
Jeff, we miss you greatly!
in’t easy
Pimpin a
tured the Pilsner Championship. Mass confusion in
early August caused Ballcock to come to the Rescue by creating the 1st
ever “Solidarity” Championship’ in which Jimmer
captured the crown.
This year saw several K8s
on the PUP list including
Cocks with a severe
shoulder operation due
to aggressive masturbation. Heres to a healthy
2015-2016 for all. Lastly,
we will miss those K8s
who couldn’t make the
trip, and especially Jeff and
Eddie who no doubt will
be with us in spirit. Carpe
Diem Boys!
Caption describing picture or
graphic.
THE COURSES… WATER, BEAUTY AND DANGER
The Quest begins at Bayside course where gorgeous views along the Assawoman Bay coastline and magnificent pine forests will excite
the K8 tour. "Golfers at Bayside enjoy three distinctly different golf experiences all in one golf course. Some holes are richly treelined, others wind through marshland and still others boast wide-open fairways. Day 2 takes the tour to the Legendary Eagles
Landing course. Forced carries, layups, OB and nasty hazards, Lions, tigers and Bears will make club selection as important as ball
striking. I feel eliminated already. Day 3 brings hangovers and beer farts at Bear Trap Dunes with it’s winding bentgrass fairways
lined with wetland grasses that drift into stunning sand dunes. Oversized greens will make putting a challenge.
Last year, JB capture the Jacket with a Net 210, by one stroke over Dennis and Tatlo the UnNatural. In fact 7 K8s were within six
strokes. This year I see Ballcock, Dennis, George and Kenin the final four, with Dennis capturing his 3rd Mustard jacket.
Bayside
Eagles
Bear Trap
Page 2
2004 MUSTARD CHAMP HOJO CARNAGGIO WILL USE HIS RAGE LEAD HIM TO CHAMPIONSHIP
I will
give you
such a
shove.
Joe “Hojo” Carnaggio’s is the most unappreciated K8 in the club. He is Mustard winner, has won several golf outings over the years, organizes the best
golf trip on the planet, bought the Mustard jacket and still has not been reimbursed, has seen Ice soil his clothing, seen k8s poop in his toilet and not
flush, K8s blow off his Saturday night party, and still gets dissed on a regular
basis by many K8s. In recent years Hojo has isolated hisself , often walking
alone to Fagers looking over his shoulder to see if any of the other k8s are
coming. Sadly, they are often not there, preferring to sleep because the other 362 days a year they do the same.
Ooooh I am ANGRY.
Why don’t the cool kids
like me?
He will let his rage do his talking this year as he is coming to OC with a
whopping 3 strokes per day more than last year. Ranked number 5 in the
computer Rankings, I project that he will be in the final 4. If he averages 93
each day he could capture his second Jacket, and maybe just maybe the respect he so richly deserves.
JACKASS!
Hojo weeps uncontrollably
after capturing 2011 Pilsner.
Who Loves Ya Baby!
JACKASS!
JACKASS!
JIM
Mustard
JO
E
The root of Joes issues
Hojo with the fall away fade
JACKASS!
God
please
make Ice
like me.
JACKASS!
Suck it
Losers!
Help Me!
Cocks bullying Hojo on the
Green as Hojo trys to save 7
Steve bullying Hojo on the
Green as Hojo trys to save 9
Eat Me!
JACKASS
The karate kid
Jim bullying Hojo on the Tee as
Hojo trys to fight back the tears
MEAT
A disturbing time in K8 history
Rubbing the
Pilsner in the
faces of his K8
Hojo crying out for help,
only to be ignored, especially by his older brother.
.
2004 Mustard Jacket Champion Hojo’s 2015 Mustard Computer Ranking –5
HEIL HOJO!
HANDICAP: 21… Up 3 from OC last year. 2015 Highlight: Posted a net 66 at Rocky point Crab Outing in August.
PROS: Hits the fairway on most drives and had his OC evening outfits picked out in June. 2004 mustard Champ, 2011 Pilsner Pitcher
Champion and 2014 Top Sausage Champ.
Factoids about Hojo: Hojo thinks there is only one thing wrong with his brother’s face ... it shows.




Hojo actually does believe its not butter.
When Hojo wants your opinion he will give it to you.
Hojo frequently tells Jim “Why don’t you slip into something a little more comfortable like a coma “
Joe asks strangers… If Ice and Jimmer were both drowning and you only had time to save one…. What kind of sandwich would
you make?
Hojos failed coup d'é·tat
to wrestle power from his
brother.
Page 3
TWO TIME CHAMP DENNIS RADER IS FAMILIAR FINAL FOUR PARTICIPANT
Rader is accurate off
the tee.
Dennis Rader is primed and ready to capture
his 3rd Mustard Jacket. He also very familier
with the finishing course Bear Trap, which will
give him an advantage on day 3. Dennis finished in 3rd place in 2011, and missed OC in
2012 and 2013. Last year he finished one
stroke off the lead with a solid net 211 over
the three day tourney. If he averages during
the 2015 tourney he will most likely find himself in his 3rd consecutive final 4 that he has
competed in. He is projected to be in the
Member of Chess Club
final 4 again this year.
3
Rader strikes a pose
and Future Mustard
The Sheriffs is back in
town again boys, and I
will not be denied my
3rd Mustard. .
2000 and 2002 Mustard Champ Dennis’s 2015 Mustard Computer Ranking –7
HANDICAP: 16… Down 2 from OC last year. 2015 Highlight: Shot a net 71 at Ruggles in Pilsner Open
PROS: Two time Mustard Champion. Very well rounded player. He has played a lot of rounds and doesn’t self
destruct.
Factoids about Dennis:



Dennis has never stepped in gum, however he steps in dog poo on a weekly basis.
Dennis measures in at 5 foot 20 inches.
When someone sneezes, Dennis says “I bless You.
Dennis in the big head contest
TWO TIME CHAMP KEN ”MONEY” FOLDERAUER HAS PLANS TO BEAT RADER TO THIRD JACKET
Ken ”Money” Folderauer is a CEO of a large company and it only takes a
couple of minutes with him to understand why. He is engaging and hold
anyone’s attention. He is a two time champ and his net 67 at Ruggles served
notice that he primed to shoot lights out at the beach. Ken has very solid
golf game, with long drives, and a solid short game, but his responsibilities
never escape him and he is often distracted by business phone calls or Ice on
the course. He will need to average 89 over the 3 days to be in the final 4 .
You are looking at
the first THREE time
Champ! BLAMO!
Money on the Campaign
Trail
Money on his way to
capturing the Pilsner
Money’s impassioned
Pilsner Acceptance
speech
A Tradition like no other. Money’s
Bloodys.
2006 and 2008 Mustard Jacket Champion Money 2015 Mustard Computer Ranking– Tied 11
HANDICAP: 17 ...Same as OC last year 2015 Highlight: Posted a net 67 to win the Pilsner Open.
PROS: All around great game, and is Two Time Champ . Can score with the best when he is on his game.
Factoids about Ken:


People encourage Ken to talk during movies.

Ken wears a bracelet that says "WWID" (What would I do)

In previous lives, Ken was himself.
Librarians request Ken to talk loudly in the library.

Money elated with the Pilsner
It’s Double Breasted just like me. !
All eyes are on Money when he
speaks.
When his wife gave birth to their 1st caughter everyone congratulated...his daughter..
K8 Couple of the Year 10
years running
Page 4
2013 CHAMP LANCE-A-LOT LINKS RETIRED, RESTED AND READY
Lance A Lance-A-Lot Links McPherson
stunned the golf world with a clutch
putt on the 55th hole to win the 2013
mustard jacket. He represented the
Jacket with dignity during his reign as
champ. He is recently retired and
word has it he has been working on
his golf game tirelessly in an effort to
capture the 2015 Jacket. If Lance averages 94 each day he can repeat his
Championship score from 2013 and Lance holding breath
in a n attempt to win
possibly capture his second jacket.
the big head contest .
Lances Crushes One but
where is it?
Would you like to
touch my Monkey?
Lance-A-Lot and
his imaginary
caddy lil’ lance-a
-lot
Lance A Lots K8 2015 Computer Ranking— 10
HANDICAP: 22 … Down 1 from OC Last Year
2015 Highlight: Shot 95 for Net 71 at Ruggles in the Pilsner Open
PROS: 2013 Champ. One of the longest hitters on K8 tour. Shows nice touch around
green.
Factoids About Lance: Lance states “ I hate when I am about to hug someone really
sexy and my face hits the mirror. “


Bow to
your 2013
Champ!
Look at Me. Who
looks better in the Jacket?
I’ll tell you. NOBODY!
I must win to make this
club look good
Monkey, You are the only
one that will talk to me.
Airport Security agents remove their belts and shoes for him.
Lance has never lost a button
ROY “SQUEEZY”NORRIS IS ONCE AGAIN NUMBER 1 IN COMPUTER RANKINGS
Roy has set a K8 record with back to back number one computer
rankings going into OC. He has by far played the most golf of any
K8. It would bring great joy to see Roy capture the Mustard, Roy
continues to hone his skills at his Tuesday morning league while
many other K8s are wasting time working. Roy posted 216 last
year for a 6th place finish,and finished 4th in 2012. Twelve of Roys
last 13 scores have been 88 or lower. If Roy averages 88 each day
he will finish with a net 213 which should be good enough to take
the jacket. He is very capable of posting those scores.
I just
did a
poopy
Haney and his
student
Set it and Forget it!
Down the middle eve-
Roy drains the Birdie as Ice tends the
flag with no hands and diddles himself
Roy Surrenders
Critical Gastrointestinal
Decision Making
It is my year. The tee times
line up nicely for me to have
my daily constitutional at
optimal times,. I can also
escape the Rat Cars at my
Beach getaway.
Squeezy ’s 2015 K8 Computer Ranking—Number 1
HANDICAP: 17… Down 2 from OC Last Year. *** Key to the Mustard 2015 Highlight: Posted a 85 at Rocky Point just this week for a Net 68.
PROS: Steady player with vast experience Tuesday league gives him most rounds and has honed his skills. Peaking at the right time.
Factoids about Roy:


Roy’s feet don't get blisters, but his shoes do

Roy explains “ At my age, you just can’t trust a fart”.

Roy would grow his own food but have yet to find bacon seeds.
Roy believes poop is weakness leaving the body
Page 5
BRIAN “ICE” EISER AIMS TO DOMINATE
Like Lee Evans dropped touchdown and Scott Norwood’s wide right field
goal miss, no one will forget the 2013 Championship when Ice’s use of
common core math took him from Champion to 2nd place after a scoring snafu. Ice has been in several final 4’s at OC and is primed to take
the Mustard this year. Ice’s has been bombing his driver this year and
should once again be in the final four on day 3. He has always had a great
all around golf game, and now has a new found maturity making him a
mentor to the up coming K8s. Count on him winning several skins and
greenies also.
Check me Out…
Ooooh I just love all
the little K8 Filipino
mens , and all the K8
burly mens and all the
manly smells in the
hospitality room. I give
it Two Snaps and
Twist!
I am crushing my driver, and I
like my shoes and I am more
Mature than Blanton. You
MFrs don’t stand a chance.
Barring me shitting
myself on the course I will win!
Poetry in Motion
I wanted a
Pic
with
Hojo
Ice poses with two of his favorite things...His 3 wood and
grilled cheese crackers
Ice enjoys being tickled
after a Par.
Ice making friends
When not golfing Ice enjoys sweeping and dust pans.
I ‘ve fallen
and I can’t
get up.
Help Me!
Ken
Ice drains a putt while being
molested.
Ice saves Par from
150 yrds out
Ice ‘s favorite greeting
Whip It! Whip it
Good!
Roy stunned by
a sudden ICE
CHEST.
Ice mans up after a
night of Jaeger bombs
2015 K8 Computer Ranking—8
HANDICAP: 10… Down 1 from last year at OC. 2015 Highlight: Posted Net 71 at Ruggles at Compass
Point in May
PROS: All around great game. Back to back Final 4s, and 2nd and 3rd place finishes the last 2 years.
Factoids about Ice: - Ice once lit a fire by rubbing two ice cubes together.
Get in me belly
 While making love, Ice yells his own name .

Past girlfriends also yell out Ice’s name while having sex with their husbands.

Ice often wonders “If corn oil comes from corn, where does baby oil come ?”

Ice Napping on the floor

Ice also ponders “Why did kamikaze pilots wear helmets?”
Ice lives by the motto, “If God is watching us, the least we can do is be entertaining.”
Page 6
CLASSY 2011 MUSTARD CHAMP GEORGE KAHLERT READY TO GAIN JACKE T BACK
George still is the standard for how the Jacket should be represented. He is a classy guy,
kind of like our Cary Grant. His management of the K8 website is stellar. He wants to
win not only to be Champ, but also so he has something to wear to family gatherings and
weddings. He came one stroke away from back to back Mustards when Dave stunned
the golf world by making great chip from
under a tree and then sinking a difficult MEAT
downhill birdie putt on the 55th hole of the
2012 Club Championship. George finished
4th at the Championship last year and was
once again in the final 4 on day 3. He leads
in final 4 appearances and does not wilt under the pressure, which always makes him a
serious contender.
George and Jimmer during his red meat bender.
I really
miss it
Man!
It kills me that I don’t
have the Jacket. I don’t
own any other sports
coats . I need to win it
man.
2011 Mustard Jacket Champion George ‘s 2015 Computer Ranking—2
George, shortly
before his bout
with TrenchMouth
HANDICAP: 9 … Up 2 from last year. 2014 Highlight: Posted Net 68s at Rocky Point and Ruggles
in August.
PROS: Is good at all aspects of the game . Lowest handicap year in and year out.
Factoids about George: George’s birdbath at his house attracts bald Eagles.
 At book stores people crowd around George to watch him read.
His swing is even Classy
 Even his enemies have George on speed dial as an emergency contact. He’s impossible to hate.
 George tells navigation systems where to go.
DARIUS HAD THE MUSTARD FED EXED TO HIM.. COULD IT BE
FORESHADOWING?
Ako’ nagugutom Mustard
Darius had a taste of OC last year, playing a round on Saturday and participating in some
shananigans. He feels that experience gives him an edge as he attempts to win the Jacket
for the first time. He, along with his fellow Filipino brothers have shown great excitement
for the trip. He has a basement driving range, and has taken lessons. He is a beachbody
coach, is younger and is in better shape than most K8s which should help him through the
draining 3 days. He will need to average 90 over the 3 days to be in the final 4.
Darius’s poop face
Uto-uto
Uto-uto
Darius putts as Mark insults him in filipino
Darius swings as Mark insults him in
filipino
2015 Mustard Ranking –Tied 11
HANDICAP: 19… First OC Trip. 2015 Highlight: Posted a net 69 at Rocky Point in August
PROS: Works out and eats well, practices hard.
Factoids about Darius:
 People say nice things about Darius behind his back.
 Darius receives Friend requests on Twitter
 Darius is his own worst enemy because no one else will take the job.
 Darius tells Dentists to floss.
Zoom a zoom
zoom
Page 7
NINO CONFIDENT WITH 12 ADDITIONAL STROKES THIS YEAR
Ha!
You
are all
really
old.
Nino was brash and confident heading into his maiden K8 Championship, but that confidence was derailed after 9 Holes of Ballcock’s
mind games. He plans to use last years experience and 12 additional
strokes to shock the world in OC. Whether that shock will be on
the golf course or in the hospitality room remains to be seen. If he
had a 21 handicap last year, Nino would have finished in 2nd place.
Nino enjoys being a
Averaging 93 will put him in the final 4.
girl sometimes.
JACKASS
Nino marking his territory,
a Filipino tradition.
Sausage Fest
Nino to save 8, as Jim passes
gas and blames Hojo.
Nino marking his
territory
I wont be fooled by
Ballcocks weird tricks.
We will keep the Jacket
in the Filipino family for
years to come.
Nino struggles in sand
Nino’s 2015 Mustard Computer Ranking– 9
HANDICAP: 21 … Up 4 from last year at OC. 2105 Highlight: Shot a Net 70 at Rocky Point in August.
PROS: Plays much better than a 21 Handicap. Has become a solid ball striker, and does not tire during the course of a round.
Factoids About Nino: As a childNino accidentally killed his imaginary friend.
JACKASS


Nino does not sleep… he waits

Nino often carries on long conversations… without ever saying anything at all.
As a child when when asked by a teacher, "What would you like to be when you grow up"?
Nino Answered, "Myself".
2003 CHAMP STEVE “AQ UA” DEMARCO HAS GAME AND HANDICAP TO EARN 2ND MUSTARD
Steve “Aqua” DeMarco finished 7th in 2014 only 7
strokes off the lead. He is getting 6 additional strokes this
year, which should put him in contentionAs a former
champ he knows what it takes, and plays courses at the
beach a lot which gives him home field advantage.
habenaro sauce. Averaging 100 each day will put him in the
final 4.
I have been in this group a long
time and have come to the conclusion that you are all A-HOLES.
I just like playing the courses. If I
win, I win if I don’t F– it!
JACKASS
Steve poses for the
Papparazzi.
Steve plays his 2nd shot on the 16th hole at War
Steve pipes it down the
middle
Aqua is giddy winning
a Pilsner Glass
Photographer stood directly in
front of Steve to avoid being hit
2003 Mustard Champion Steve’s 2014 Mustard Computer Ranking—Tied 11
HANDICAP: 28… Up 2 fro OC last year 2015 Highlight: Posted a Net 69 at Ruggles in August.
PROS: Gets high club head speed, and can shoot in the 90s. With 28 strokes he could do damage.
 Factoids about Steve:
 When Steve putts, lakes and creeks break toward his golf ball.
Aqua plays his 3rd
shot on the 7th hole
at Bear Trap




Steve once hit a ball into a water hazard on a course with no water hazards”
Steve does not consult a physician for erections lasting over four hours.
When Steve gives people the finger they feel like number 1.
Steve has never wished he had brought a jacket.
Aqua adopting Filipino
tradition by marking
territory.
Page 8
MARK “THE LINE” MENDOZA MAKES CHAMPIONSHIP DEBUT
Mark “The Line” Mendoza has played on the K8 tour for a couple of years but this is the
first year he is qualified and playing for the Mustard jacket at the OC Championship. His
Step squad training in high school gives him great footwork and enhances his ball striking.
He is carrying a 19 handicap to the beach. If he averages 91 each day he will be in the
final 4.
I’m Batman damnit. I want
the Jacket.
Mark puts his Step
Squad skills to use on
the golf course
Mark attributes his good form to Step
Squad
Mark drains the Birdie.
Mark “The Line” Mendoza 2015 Mustard Computer Ranking-Tied –11
HANDICAP: 19 … First OC Championship 2015 Highlight: Posted Net 69 at Wetlands in March.
PROS: Good footwork and form from extensive Step squad training.
Factoids about Mark: Marks handwriting is Times New Roman
 Mark eats pancakes at Waffle House
 Mark is fluent in 3 languages including 2 that only he understands
I am surrounded by
Morons
2001 MUSTARD CHAMP JIMMER CARNAGGIO AS CONSISTANT AS ROYS POOPS
Meat
Jimmer Carnaggio has in the final 4 in the last two Championships and has finished in the
top 4 in 3 consecutive Championships. No other K8 golfer can make that claim. He has
transitioned from a bullhorn carrying bully who would use his massive brain to mess with
less brainy K8s disrupting their concentration and derailing their games into a mentor to the
many K8s who are lost and bewildered by life. All is not well though, as Jim still abuses his
younger brother Joe, who only wants his brothers love. Jim is one of the most consistent
golfers on the tour and will carry the same handicap as last year at this time. Jimmer can
easily average 87 over the 3 days to put him in his 3rd consecutive final 4 and once again
contend for the jacket.
JACKASS!
JACKASS!
Meat
Jimmer and Jazzercize go hand
and hand.
Jimmer shortly after
winning Disco contest
Jimmer is solid on the
greens
Jimmer with the banana
fade to the Fairway
Jimmer during his Hair
Club for Men days.
I have become bored with all
of you feeble minded idiots.
Consider yourself lucky to
have me in this group. If I
decide I want the Jacket,
then I will win it.. Easily.
2001 Mustard Champ JIMMER 2015 K8 Computer Ranking-4
HANDICAP: 16 … Same as last year in OC. 2015 Highlight: Memorial and Solidarity champion . Posted Net 68 at Geneva in August.
PROS: 2001 Mustard Champ. Large heavy head allows is easy to keep down on the ball. Seldom looks up during a shot.



Jimmer explains his

obsession with Ice and

disdain for Joe.
Shirley
temples f
me up.
Meat
Factoids about Jim : Jim requires twice the amount of aspirin than normal headed people.
Horses wish they were hung like him
Google uses Jimmer as their search engine
Jim uses a mattress as a pillow
Jim legally does not have a forehead, ..he has been legally classified with an eight head
A drunken and belligerent Jimmer opens up
Page 9
DAVE “BALLCOCK” JANU KOWSKI IS QUALIFIED AND WANTS MUSTARD BACK
Dave made a late run to qualify for the Mustard.
He is driving the ball well and uses Strategery to
score money in the putt game. not eligible for the
Jacket and he doesn’t care. He was the Mustard
Champion once and that’s good enough for him.
He is coming to the beach to mentor and gude the
new K8s. Look for him to win some skins and
greenies, and start some side bets.
I look good . It’s true!
Stray dogs are attracted to
Daves snoring
Before 2012
Playoff hole
So clutch during Playoff
Back to back
Championships will be
easy!
Ball before swing
I am qualified and will
do damage at the
beach. I don’t think
these new K8s can
hang.
Moments after
Ball after swing
2012 Mustard Jacket Champion Dave Mustard Computer Rating –Tied 11
2105 Highlight— Net 72 at Mountain Branch in September.
PROS: Dave is long off the tee and has proven time and time again that he is clutch when he
needs to be, as proven by the skins he wins and his 2012 epic playoff win.
Factoids about Dave:





Dave’s clothes never wrinkle.

Dave regripped his ball retreiver
Dave thinks surprise sex is great in the morning unless you are in prison.
Dave has never lost a sock
When Dave dines at a fine restaurant ...... The waiter tips him
INSIDE STORY HEADLINE
Advice Hotlines call Dave for advice.
Mustard!
MONGO, INELIGIBLE FO R JACKET, CAN RELAX AND LET LOOSE
Mongo is back at the OC event for the
after last years memorable meat fest.
He will win some skins and greenies.
Mongo at one with nature, enjoys
Assawoman bay as he pees.
Mongo Trick Chipping
Mongo Trick Putting
Mongo, Mad Dog 20/20, and
Mongo’s Ass. Some may call
that a perfect day.
Mongos 2015 Mustard Computer Rating– Tied 11
HANDICAP: 20… Up 2 from OC last year. 2015 Highlight—Posted Net 75 at Ruggles in August
PROS: Very Long off the tee and is a blast to play with.
Factoids about Mongo:




Mongo doesn't break wind......he bends it
When Mongo holds a woman's purse, he lstill looks intimidating
Mongo knawed off the umbilical cord after his birth because he doesn’t like feeling attached to any woman. Young Mongo resembles Current
Mongo only drinks on days that end in “y”.
Nino can identify K8s by smelling
Mongo
their shoes
Page 10
JEFF “COCKS” ADDICKS RECOVERING FROM MAS TURBATION INJURY
Eat Me
Mfers !
Cocks addressing the
K8 Gallery
Cocks for the
Eagle!
Cocks gimping it up
Jeff “Cocks” Addicks was primed to capture his first Mustard. Unfortunately the violent nature of his masturbation
dislocate dhis shoulder in several place and required surgery. Nevertheless, He is attending the OC event and is
expected to contend in 2016.
Watch out MEAT
Dick Mongers
BeaverPelt displays
Teen Angst
Cocks 300 yards
down the middle
Mfiger ass
Cocks finds his errant tee shot
Cocks part time job
Cocks relaxing at home
I am out this year
Mother Fers. When
I return I will cuss
like a MFer.
Cock’s 2015 Injured Reserve
Factoids about Jeff:
 Jeff abducts and anal probes aliens.
 While making love Jeff was once booed by a peeping Tom.




Jeff’s favorite pick up line is … Nice virginity ..Can I have it?
Jeff sobs uncontrollably after ejaculating.
Jeff sleeps with both eyes open
Jeff learned that when you mix human DNA with goat DNA you get kicked out of the
petting zoo
Our Hero
Uto-uto
Cocks is simply Giddy while Hiney dancing at Fagers
NEWCOMER NICK “FIMMER” RAVER PLANS TO WIN IN ROOKIE YEAR
Nick “Fimmer” Raver has hitched his wagon to Jimmer as his K8
mentor, and has officially become the Filipino Jimmer. This is his
maiden attempt at the OC Championship. If Nick averages 90 each
day he will find himself in the final 4 and in solid contention for the
Jacket.
Nick down the middle
I surveyed all of the
K8s and chose Jimmer as my mentor
because he reminds
me of my Grand-
Nick “FIMMER “ Raver 2015 K8 Computer Ranking-6
HANDICAP: 18 … First OC. Championship, 2015 Highlight , Flag Day Glory Hole Champion, Posted a Net 69 in May at the Wetlands
PROS: Very solid player capable of posting rounds in the 80’s.
Factoids about Nick:
 Nick always arrives late at the office but makes up for it by leaving early

Nick can lick his elbow
 Nick has a “safe word” for phone sex.
 Nick reads barcodes in his spare time.
Page 11
MATT “AMISH MAFIA” ROGERS 2014 PILSNER CHAMP PLANS TO WIN GAMBLING GAMES
Matt quietly posted a net 206 over 3 rounds a few years back.
And just shot a Gross 81 a couple weeks ago.
Watch for him to capture some skins and
Greenies.
Matt receiving the 2014
Pilsner from 2013 Champ
J.B.
Matt “Amish Mafia” Rogers 2015 K8 Computer Ranking—Tied 11
HANDICAP: 18 … Down 6 from last year.
PROS: He is young and has steadily improved his golf game.
Factoids about Matt :

He intends to live forever...and So Far, So Good.

When Matt stays at Motel 6’s, they don’t leave the light on for him.

Many K8’s consider it good luck when Matt steps in their line.
Bermuda Bob Nalls has steadily improved his golf game since joining the K8
tour. He is the most laid back K8 and is often found singing on the course.
He has played barefoot, in flip flops and sandals just like Jesus used to, when
he played golf. Bob is a good packer and will most likely have items that
anyone forgets to bring. Many K8s were surprised a few years ago when
Bermuda answered yes to the request for hairclippers. In an amazing spur
of the moment, Fast Eddie made some money having his head and eye
brows shaved. Truth be told Bermuda does not go anywhere with out his
manscaping tools. “ I manscape on an hourly basis when I am not golfing”
Bermuda explained. You never know when you are going to have to peel
your shirt off and dance on top of a bar”. Bob is playing great golf and is
Its good to be back to the
expected to be in the running for skins, greenies and low net each day.
beach! I became one with
Right On!
the bees a few years back,
didn’t much care for it, but
hey its all good.
Bob takes lining up putts seriously..
Crushing it in Sandals
Tap in Birdie
Friends for 35 years
Crushing it in Shoes
Crushing it in Flip Flop s
Bob “Bermuda “ Nalls 2015 K8 Computer Ranking—Tied 11
HANDICAP: 17… Did not play in OC last year 2015 Highlight: Won Top Sausage and Cocks Qualifier Posted a net 68 at Ruggles in August.
Pro: Very steady with last two K8 rounds in the 80’s
Factoids about Bob :

Porn watches Bob!

Bob’s poop smells like Roses.

Often when buying something, Bob doesn’t need money, he just winks.

Bob’s lovemaking has been detected by a seismograph.

Bob’s sweat cures several sexually transmitted diseases
Page 12
MIKE ROGERS MAKES TRIP FROM FLORIDA, WITH EYE ON SKINS AND GREENIES
Mike is not Eligible for the Jacket
HANDICAP: 21.. Down 2 from OC last year
PROS: Plays a lot of golf on tough Florida course
UFOs report sightings of Mike
2007 CHAMP TATLO THE UN-NATURAL WILL PLAY BUT SHOULD REALLY LOOK FOR ANOTHER HOBBY
Hill 2015 Mustard Computer Ranking—3
HANDICAP: 19 .. Same as Oc last year.
PROS: This author can think of none.
“if I would have known I was going to live thjis long I
would have taken better care of myself. “
FORTY DOLLAR PHIL RETURNS TO BEACH
” One hour of conversation with Phil is equivalent to 16 years of college
Other Notable Moments
Bear Trap 2003. Love Eddie in this Picture
Don’t know the year, but our first club champ Walt
Stoyer is in the back row, also pictured the famous
Art, Bob Harris, Rick Blanton, Mike Vandeputte. Also
Cocks, I miss him too.
Jimmer and Ice tongue each other as Cocks
looks on with Envy.
Bear Trap 2004. I miss Mike, Duck and Ben
The Pearl in Myrtle Beach, not sure what year. Jeff
and Ricky Scott, Dennis Rader Bob Birchand Kevin
Garrity are pictured.
Another good one with Eddie
Other Notable Moments
Fagers, Ice drinking something Pink. Not sure
who is between Duck and Roy. Circa 2008
2012 Final Four. Hill was eliminated by hole 7, Ice
made it to the 18th before being eliminated. Dave
sank a birdie putt in a playoff on the e55th hole to
win the Mustard.
Jimmer voices his opinion as other K8s ignore
him. Brooks passes Gas in the background and
blames Steve.
Could this be the 2014 Final Four? Hojo is giving a wink
as Ice disrespectfully passes gas.
Ice and Dave putting on the Ritz! Christmas
2012
The 2012 Top 3, Champ –Dave, runner up George,
Third Place—Ice
Other Notable Moments
K8s at RedEye Dock Bar circa 2005
Business Man Special, Cross Street beers circa
2012
Hojo’s emotional 2012 Pilsner Win hugging a
sweaty, smelly Hill.
Duck, Ken, the author and Mike color coordinated
at Fagers circa 2007
Lance, George, Bermuda on driving range in sub zero temperatures. Jimmer Rocking the ear muffs passing gas in the background
and subsequently laying blame on the kid with the basket.
Other Notable Moments
Eddie
Picture
Myrtle Beach.Bear
RickyTrap
Scott 2003.
and WaltLove
Stoyer
are inin
thethis
corners.
I think this was the
year after Jeff passed away.
Birth of the K8’s! Early 90’s! Daddy Blanton,
Mommy Bob Harris and their two incorrigible children Buster and Timex. Dig those
crazy spectacles on Timex! My ode to John
Lennon.
Dance of the Sugar Plum Fairies!
Eddie after getting his head and eyebrows shaved
The Bathroom Attendant at Fagers, and
honorary Mustard winner.
The Nino’s Sausage Fest! Circa 2013.. The 2014
sausage fest did not have sausage.
Other Notable Moments
Ice and Ken with matching his and hers towels prepare
for their Saturday Evening nap….circa 2012
Bermuda became
one with a Bee colony.
Love, Love , Love this Tradition. Money’s
Bloody Mary’s signify the official start of the
Quest for the Mustard Jacket.
Thank God for the double par rule! This sad foursome set the all time k8 record for combined score
with a whopping 36 on hole 12 at Timbers at
Troy. Ice was so upset that the cart girl Michele with
2 L's had to console Ice.
Group Photo, not sure where.
Like a bird, Mongo chews food and spits it
into Ice’s mouth so Ice can digest it
better.
The 2013 Playoff Hole
Ice and Ken with mtching his and hers towels prepare
for their Saturday Evening nap….circa 2012
The exciting coin Flip. Ice pooped slightly.
Our combatants embrace.
Thank God for the double par rule! This sad foursome set the all time k8 record for combined score
with a whopping 36 on hole 12 at Timbers at
Troy. Ice was so upset that the cart girl Michele with
2 L's had to console Ice.
Ice Clutch Drive down the Middle
Lance Nails a beautiful Shot Too.
Group Photo, not sure where.
The Bathroom Attendant at Fagers, and
honorary Mustard winner.
Jimmer uses his feminine handwriting to add the new Champs
name.
Lance-a-lot Links is sworn in and accepts the duties and responsibilities that come with the Jacket.
2014 OC
Pre tourney talk
Money’s Bloodys
2013 Champ Lance Tees Off
Cocks cussing out Jim
The winning Putt
Jimmer adding JB
JBs emotional speech
2014 Final 4
Fagers Bathroom attendant
2002 Myrtle Beach (Old Photos found by Jimmer)
THURSDAY NIGHT PRIMER
K8 Club Champion Wall of Fame
1999
2000
2001
2002
Walt ‘Poppy” Stoyer
Dennis “Titanium’ Rader
Jim ‘Jimmer” Carnaggio
Dennis “Titanium’ Rader (2nd)
2003
2004
2005
2006
Steve “Aqua” DeMarco
Joe “Hojo” Carnaggio
John “Captain” Kinzel
Ken” Money” Folderauer
2007
2008
2009
2010
Scott “The UnNatural” Hill
Ken “Money’ Folderauer (2nd)
Brooks “ Beaver Pelt” Norris
Brooks “ Beaver Pelt” Norris
2011
2012
2013
2014
George “Jetson’ Kahlert
Dave “ Ballcock” Januchowski
“Lancealot Links” McPherson
JB “Copperfield” Simon
Scott “Timex” Hill
Who will be the 2015 K8 Champ?