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SPRING 2016
THE NEW
AGE ADDICT
IVY GROWING WILD
OVERACHIEVING CHILDREN
UNDER GREAT DURESS
BY JESSICA FISHEL
AND DOUG ROSEN
FEATURED
INSIDE
•
•
•
•
High Holidays
Gala 2016
Sisterhood
LA Marathon
THE NEXT STEP
WORK THERAPY PARTICIPANTS
FIND PASSION THROUGH CAREERS
MAGAZINE
SPRING 2016
FEATURES
NOTES FROM CHAIRMAN AND PRESIDENT
OF THE BOARD | 04
New day, new needs, new solutions, as looked at by
Board Chairman Dr. Bill Resnick and President Annette Shapiro
NOTES FROM FOUNDER AND SENIOR
RABBI | 06
Harriet Rossetto & Rabbi Mark Borovitz face down today’s addiction with
Spirituality & Judaism
THE NEW AGE ADDICT
| 10
A surprising look at who you’ll find fitting the profile for today’s addicts
THE NEXT STEP
| 13
Three Work Therapy participants find passion through careers
BALANCE IN THE WAVES, BALANCE
IN LIFE | 18
The heart and soul of Sababa Surf Camp
BTS MUSIC
| 22
Beit T’Shuvah’s latest enterprise, BTS Music, is offering publishing &
licensing opportunites to the BTS musical talent
A PROGRAM OF PROGRESS
| 26
Announcing Beit T’Shuvah’s IOP Program
THE COUNTDOWN TO LAUNCH
| 27
Two current successes reflect on their failures to launch
( INSIDE )
IVY GROWING WILD
| 31
A raw and expert look at what over-parenting is doing to our youth
DONOR SPOTLIGHT
LA MARATHON
AN EXTENDED CARE EXCURSION
pg16
pg39
THEATER PROGRAM
| 35
Beit T’Shuvah’s Extended Care program visits the Wildlife Waystation
pg46
THE 24TH ANNUAL GALA
pg48
HEALING OURSELVES, HEALING
THE WORLD | 42
Beit T’Shuvah in the fight for social justice and reform
2 | B E I T T ’ S H U V A H | w w w. b e i t t s h u v a h . o r g
S P R I N G 2 016
Dr. Bill Resnick
Chairman of the Board
Annette Shapiro
President of the Board
Harriet Rossetto
Founder
Executive Vice President
Rabbi Mark Borovitz
Senior Rabbi, CEO
Nancy Mishkin
Warren Breslow
Chairs Emeriti
BOARD MEMBERS
Lise Applebaum
Heidi Bendetson
Lynn Bider
Rabbi Mark Borovitz
Joyce Brandman
Warren Breslow
Emily Corleto
Samuel Delug
David Elston
Jon Esformes
John Fishel
Pat Gage
Mel Gagerman
Beverly Gruber
Roberta Holland
Janice Kamenir-Reznik
Russell Kern
Dr. Susan Krevoy
Diane Licht
Virginia Maas
Bradley H. Mindlin
Carolyn Gold Mintz
Nancy Mishkin
Donald S. Passman
Joan Praver
Ed Praver
Heidi Praw
Avi Reichental
Harriet Rossetto
David Ruderman
Ronnie Stabler
Jill Black Zalben
HONORARY
BOARD MEMBERS
Sheldon Appel
Donald J. Berghoff
Robert Felixson*
Herb Gelfand
Jeffrey Glassman
Robert Gluckstein*
Brindell Gottlieb
Salli Harris
Blair Belcher Kohan
Shelley Kozek
Chuck Maltz
Cheri Morgan
Mike Nissenson
Jan Rosen
Richard Schulman
Rena Slomovic
Craig Taubman
Lisi Teller
Greg Vilkin
Dr. Howard Wallach*
Brad Wiseman
Hal Wiseman*
Robert Wiviott
Frank Wurtzel
*Deceased
S P R I N G 2 016
MAGAZINE
EDITOR IN CHIEF
ELIANA KATZ
DESIGN EDITOR
ALISON LOWENBERG
ART DIRECTORS
ELIANA KATZ ALISON LOWENBERG
CONTRIBUTING EDITORS
RABBI MARK BOROVITZ ALI GABLER NICOLE GOODMAN
HARRIET ROSSETTO JENNY SHERMAN
PRODUCED BY CREATIVE MATTERS AGENCY
CONTRIBUTING WRITERS
SCARLET BARBER THE NEXT STEP, GETTING TO KNOW
THE BTS SISTERHOOD, ALL THE WORLD IS A STAGE
ANDY BESSER A PROGRAM OF PROGRESS
MARK BOROVITZ SENIOR RABBI’S NOTE
JESSICA FISHEL & DOUG ROSEN THE NEW AGE ADDICT
SAMANTHA HENSCHEL AN EXTENDED CARE EXCURSION
LYNN LANCASTER BALANCE IN THE WAVES, BALANCE IN LIFE
DR. BILL RESNICK BOARD CHAIRMAN’S NOTE
HARRIET ROSSETTO FOUNDER’S NOTE
ANNETTE SHAPIRO BOARD PRESIDENT’S NOTE
JENNY SHERMAN DONOR SPOTLIGHT, IVY GROWING WILD,
THE COUNTDOWN TO LAUNCH
ADAM SIEGEL HEALING OURSELVES, HEALING THE WORLD
BARBARA SOLARZ BTS MUSIC
CONTRIBUTING PHOTOGRAPHERS
JUSTIN ROSENBERG
LAUREL JOHNSON
CONTRIBUTING GRAPHIC DESIGNERS
LUCY DARBY GRAPHIC DESIGNER
NECHAMA SIMON GRAPHIC DESIGNER
Please send comments, letters, and feedback about this issue of Beit T’Shuvah Magazine to:
[email protected] or contact the development office at 310.204.5200
w w w. b e i t t s h u v a h . o r g | B E I T T ’ S H U V A H | 3
BILL RESNICK, MD, MBA, CHAIRMAN, BOARD OF DIRECTORS
SEEING THE NEW FACE
T
his past year has been one of growth for Beit T’Shuvah. The
Elaine Breslow Institute for Addiction, Prevention and Family
Education (EBI) is taking shape as the educational arm of Beit
T’Shuvah, educating parents, teachers, clergy and clinicians on how to
prevent addiction. We earned the seal of approval by the Joint Committee
on Accreditation of Healthcare Organizations (JCAHO), proving we meet
the highest quality standards. We are now a very respected and soughtafter training ground and teaching site for counselors, psychotherapists
and psychiatrists as well. But just because we are JCAHO accredited
doesn’t mean we’ve lost any amount of the heart that is the fabric of Beit
T’Shuvah. We are, and always will be, a therapeutic, spiritual community
that treats addiction through integrating psychotherapy, Jewish wisdom
and The 12-Steps—supplemented by a variety of modalities, including art,
theater, and surf therapy—not to mention that we are also a congregation
providing joyous Friday night and Saturday morning services that engage
a larger community.
THIS NEW FACE OF ADDICTION
ALSO POINTS US TOWARD
OUR CHILDREN, AND TO
PREVENTATIVE MEASURES WE
MUST TAKE... WE LOOK FOR
SIGNS. WE CHANGE OUR OWN
BEHAVIORS AND COME TO AN
UNDERSTANDING OF THE R OLES
WE PL AY IN OUR CHILDREN’S
LIVES. WE STOP POINTING
FINGERS.
This magazine’s theme of the new face of addiction really speaks to much
of what is currently taking place at Beit T’Shuvah. We are in the middle
of a movement—one intended to eliminate the stigma that accompanies
addiction, and one that seeks to educate and inform our community about
what addiction really is and what it has become. We no longer only think
of junkies and alcoholics; addiction shows its face in a multitude of ways:
substance abuse, gambling, Internet/Facebooking, sex, eating disorders,
cutting/mutilating, shopping, gaming, and the list goes on. But there
are also places where it hides: in the quest for perfection; in parents with
unrealistic expectations of their children; in kids who think getting into
an ivy league school is the end all be all; in valuing our children for their
academic or athletic achievements, not for the complete human beings
they are. These are all places we need to look at, to examine. And now is
that time.
This new face of addiction points us toward our children, and to preventative
measures we must take. With Beit T’Shuvah’s Partners in Prevention, and
the adult education going on at EBI, we tackle the root causes of which
addiction is a symptom. We look for signs. We change our own behaviors
and come to an understanding of the roles we play in our children’s lives.
We stop pointing fingers. I look forward to seeing the continued growth of
this wonderful organization, and to know that we not only save lives—we
can also put a stop to addiction by educating each other.
Thank you all for your continued support and enthusiastic involvement
with Beit T’Shuvah, and for joining us in seeing this new face of addiction.
S P R I N G 2 016
ANNETTE SHAPIRO, PRESIDENT, BOARD OF DIRECTORS
ACCEPTANCE AND HEALING
HOW ADDICTION LOOKS TODAY
IN OUR CHANGING WORLD
W
hen I first got involved with Beit T’Shuvah 20 years ago,
addiction was an unspoken word. We only saw the symptoms,
which were the troubling behaviors that had no explanation,
and no name.
Perhaps feeling overwhelmed, or embarrassed, families often try to solve
the situation by themselves. Not knowing where to turn to for help, it’s
often kept secret.
Drugs and alcohol seemed to primarily plague our youth, which made it
easy to brush off as “growth pains.” Then we began to recognize many
highly functioning adults who were also addicted. Alcohol is socially
acceptable, so it is easy to mask the addiction, which keeps us in denial.
Addiction does not discriminate. It touches every age group, gender,
profession, and social status. It comes in many forms, not just drugs and
alcohol. It has become a worldwide epidemic that affects everyone. There
is also the economic impact on society, with time lost on the job, theft, and
incarceration.
Addiction is a family disease. When the addict suffers, their friends and
family suffer along with them. The family often unknowingly enables the
addict. This co-dependency often perpetuates the problem.
The world of addiction today is a different world than it was 20 years ago.
We have come a long way. Today, our society takes addiction and recovery
very seriously. We now know that addiction is a disease just like any other
disease, and we need to keep speaking about it to erase its stigma.
Today, we are seeing more people willing to accept that their family or
friends need help. One faced with this issue needs help to address the
situation in order to recover.
Beit T’Shuvah is a non-profit facility that has been serving our community
since 1987. Over all these years, thousands of men and women have
walked through our doors and begun walking the road to recovery. Many
may not have the ability to pay, but they have the willingness to change
their lives. We do our best to never turn anyone with that willingness away!
In the last 20 years of my involvement with Beit T’Shuvah, it has been very
fulfilling to see people recover their passion, and discover their purpose
in life. I’d like to recognize the great effort and hard work put forth by
each person who walks through our doors. Taking that first step may be
difficult, but it is so worth it.
MANY MAY NOT HAVE THE
ABILIT Y TO PAY, BUT THEY HAVE
THE WILLINGNESS TO CHANGE
THEIR LIVES. WE DO OUR BEST
TO NEVER TURN ANYONE WITH
THAT WILLINGNESS AWAY!
So though the views on addiction have changed throughout
the years, what remains the same is that untreated addiction
causes broken bodies, minds, and spirits—of those addicted,
and their families.
Today, acceptance leads to healing—and that gives us hope!
Beit T’Shuvah offers continual support not only during treatment, but also
after care. We help our clients to find careers, further their education, and
enjoy renewed family unity.
S P R I N G 2 016
HARRIET ROSSETTO, FOUNDER & EXECUTIVE VICE PRESIDENT
Addiction, in all forms, is the result of denying these challenges.
Failure to wrestle with the questions of identity, meaning and purpose
creates a sense of existential despair. Not feeling good enough,
comparing yourself to others, confusing self-worth and net worth
creates hopelessness. Attempting to project an image of perfection
to hide your Yetzer Hara, results in shame and the need to blame
others. Shame, blame, hopelessness and despair are the root cause
of the need to self soothe with food, alcohol, drugs, gambling, sex,
work-alcoholism, consumerism, compulsive over-achieving, and the
pursuit of perfection “in all of our affairs.” We are always seeking,
never satisfied—more is never enough to fill the “hole in the soul.”
We adopt roles as our identity (doctor, lawyer, Indian Chief, mother,
father, child) and confuse role with soul, never feeling good enough.
YOU DON’T HAVE TO BE AN ADDICT
TO BE IN RECOVERY
A
ll of us, all human beings are either in recovery or in denial
of the challenges of the human condition. These challenges
are existential, emotional, and spiritual. The existential
questions are:
Who am I? Why am I here? Do I have a unique identity? Do I define
it or is it defined by my conditioning and the expectations of my
family and culture? What is the purpose of my life? How do I find
meaning in the face of adversity and mortality?
Emotionally, we ask ourselves: Am I good enough? Is my worth
intrinsic or extrinsic? Is it comparative? Does my net worth determine
my self-worth? Do my flaws and imperfections diminish my value?
Am I intrinsically valuable?
Spiritually, my challenge is to reconcile the warring factions within.
Our Jewish tradition has recognized this war and named the
opponents Yetzor Tov and Yetzor Hara—the good inclination and
the evil inclination. In our tradition, the good inclination is good,
and the evil inclination is very good. Both are necessary and both
are Godly. Our job as humans is to acknowledge the power of the
evil inclination and subdue it with Right Action. For instance, I
practice forgiveness and loving kindness even when I’d rather slit your
throat or punish you with silence: I eat kale when I’d rather have
french fries. I make my bed to defeat the sloth monster that whispers,
what’s the point? You just have to mess it up again tonight. This is
the voice of futility, of immediate gratification that speaks to all of
us, sabotaging our efforts to sustain our commitment to the actions
of change.
Kids who have been given every advantage, who have been praised,
indulged, coached, tutored and pressured to achieve are mutilating,
starving and killing themselves. They pop pills, shoot or snort heroin,
or just fail to launch. They never feel enough or have enough to fill
the inner void or their hole in their soul, have never learned to fail and
give up too easily. When effort is required, they quit. They think their
appearance and resumé is their identity; grades and college acceptance
define their worth and they are unable to tolerate ambiguity,
uncertainty, discomfort, or imperfection. They are at the greatest risk
for anxiety, depression and addictions of every description. Ironically,
the over-privileged are the new underprivileged in their ability to
live life on life’s terms.
These youngsters are sending us a message. They are our
“prophets,” telling us that they are lost. They have no idea who
they are, what they want, or how to figure it out. We have confused
indulgence with love, our protection with caring, suffocating them
with expectations and pressure to perform. These are the new faces of
addiction, not the black sheep of the family, but The Excellent Sheep,
named by Yale professor, Bill Deresiewicz.
Here’s the good news: Dr. Lisa Miller in her important new book,
The Spiritual Child, writes, “Research shows that children who have a
positive, active relationships to spirituality (not necessarily combined
with religious observance) are 40% less likely to abuse substances,
60% less likely to be depressed or suicidal. It provides positive inner
assets such as meaning, purpose, optimism and gratitude. As a society
we urgently need to see the overwhelming strength of spirituality
as protection against the leading causes of death to adolescents…
accidents, suicides, homicides and addiction.”
For 30 years, Beit T’Shuvah has been a leader in the treatment of
addiction with an integrative program of positive psychology,
spirituality, and The 12-Steps of the Anonymous programs. We have
helped thousands of addicts “recover their passion and discover their
purpose.” Through our Elaine Breslow Institute we are conveying this
message of healing to parents, teens, educators, clergy and physicians
to help adolescents recover their passion and discover their purpose
in order to prevent the hopelessness and despair leading to anxiety,
depression and addiction.
S P R I N G 2 016
RABBI MARK BOROVITZ, SENIOR RABBI & CEO
avodah. While sitting in the synagogue of my youth, B'Nai Jeshrun
in Cleveland, Ohio, this January, I found myself listening to Rabbi
Stephen Weiss bless people for their aliyot, but I heard this familiar
prayer in a very different way. It made me recall something Rabbi
Abraham Joshua Heschel wrote in The Insecurity of Freedom: “What
will life get out of me?”
Rabbi Heschel also wrote: “This is the status of the Bible in modern
life: it is a sublime answer, but we do not know the question any more.
Unless we recover the question, there is no hope of understanding the
Bible.” It is for this reason, recovering these questions, that studying
the Torah, following God’s Commandments, and being of service
are the foundation of decent living for us all. Ma'asim tovim and
gemilut hasidim are actions that go beyond the letter of the law. They
touch the essence of Judaism and keep us in alignment, with God's
intention always at the forefront of our hearts (kavanah).
JUDAISM - A PATH FOR EVERYONE
I
n this issue we are exploring “the new face of addiction." And while
the spread of addiction has grown – fueled primarily by prescription
drug abuse – reaching every subpopulation in our country, it is still
the age-old path of Judaism that brings recovery to everyone: recovery
of meaning, recovery of wonder, recovery of awe, recovery of a sense
of purpose. The Torah can be used as a roadmap showing us all how
to better navigate life, minimizing its suffering and heightening its
joy. Sadly, too many of us see Judaism as archaic, ritualistic, angry,
irrelevant. When people cannot or will not immerse themselves in
its text and miss the wisdom and truth that our tradition can give us,
disconnection and disease are able to take root.
Not all of the people who miss the relevance, wisdom, and truth of
Torah are drug addicts, alcoholics, and/or gamblers; they are also
people who seek to get more but give less, people who are more
interested in the perception of their image than pushing themselves
to be their best, authentic selves. The new face of addiction is
entrenched in the inability to accept ourselves as imperfect beings
and the avoidance of wrestling with the questions about what
it means to be human. Judaism is the antidote to the new face of
addiction, as it has also been to all of the questions that have plagued
us for some 3,300 years.
In many Jewish ceremonies, a prayer for bringing the blessings of
Torah and Jewish learning, a good marriage, and then ma'asim tovim
(good deeds) is offered to those being celebrated. Similarly, it is
written in Pirkei Avot, that the world stands on three things: Torah,
avodah (service of the heart), and gemilut hasidim (acts of lovingkindness). For many years, I have tried to understand why our Sages
added the mandates of performing acts of loving-kindness and good
deeds as necessary accompaniments to the foundation of Torah and
S P R I N G 2 016
In his book, God in Search of Man, Rabbi Heschel offers us this
definition: “Kavanah in this sense is not the awareness of being
commanded but the awareness of Him who commands; not of a
yoke we carry but of the Will we remember; the awareness of God
rather than the awareness of duty. Such awareness is more than
an attitude of the mind; it is an act of valuation or appreciation
of being commanded, of living in a covenant, of the opportunity
to act in agreement with God." In this way, ma'asim tovim and
gemilut hasidim open us up and give us the opportunity to live in
congruity with God and with others. WOW! Yet, so many of us miss
this sacred opportunity and stay stuck in either following the literal
interpretation or letter of Torah and the Commandments or ignoring
them altogether.
We are a people of faith – all of us, regardless of the faith tradition of
which we are a part. Even people of “no faith” have faith in something:
science, philosophy, themselves, etc. What does seem to be lacking in
our society today, however, is appreciation. Many people reflect on
their days and deeds, most in order to either beat themselves up (low
self-esteem) or to justify themselves (narcissism); few are those who
have this appreciation as an attitude of their entire being. We all must
be drawn into the preciousness of being human. We have to see each
other and ourselves as b’tzelem Elohim, divine images, and reminders
of God. We have to perceive the unique worth of taking the next
right action, the magnificence of hearing God's call. Only then can
we truly be engaged in ma'asim tovim, gemilut hasidim, avodah, and
Torah. Only then can we find our unique path to do tikkun (repair)
in our corner of the world. This, in my experience, is the path to
fulfillment, the solution to addiction, and the joy of being alive.
So, what will life get out of YOU?
DEVELOPMENT DEPARTMENT
KEEPING IT INTERESTING
BY ALI GABLER
Y
ou know we like to keep things interesting, right? So in
typical Beit T’Shuvah form, 2016 has already meant shaking
things up with the Development team, and it’s never been
more exciting! In March we officially welcomed our new Director of
Advancement, Janet Rosenblum, who comes to us with many years
of experience and tons of energy, ready to help carry our mission
forward. We feel she is a perfect fit for Beit T’Shuvah and look
forward to sharing with you all of the new developments we are sure
her presence will bring. At the beginning of
the year I (Ali Gabler) was welcomed back
from my maternity leave after the birth of my
son Wyatt, and we all said “See you soon!” to
Avia Rosen who departed on her maternity
leave in February after the birth of her 3rd
son, Eliott. We also welcomed Cheryl Wolf
and Aryeh Robbins to the team at the end of
2015. Through these changes the department
has matured in responsibility and creativity,
and we feel very confident in the team today
and the good work we will be able to do with
the help of our tremendous donors.
We cannot talk about the beginning of 2016
without mentioning the success of our 24th
annual Gala in January. Chaired by Meryl
Kern, Lise Applebaum and Janice Kamenir-Reznik, the event raised
$1.8 million and had 1,000 guests in attendance. Of course, there were
challenges, but we are committed to growing from them. Overall,
we had a beautiful evening celebrating recovery and honoring two
incredible members of our staff and community, Andy Besser and
Janet Rosenblum,
Director of Advancement
Robert Landes. We are so grateful to our honorees and attendees
and are excited to announce that our 2017 Gala will be held at a
new location to be announced later this year.
As we plan our big spring fundraisers we have continued gratitude
for Meryl Kern, a tireless advocate and our new Development
Committee Chair, for taking on the responsibility of reinvigorating
the committee along-side Janet Rosenblum. The committee plays
a huge role in the success of events such as this spring’s BTS
Open Golf Tournament and Circle of Majesty Luncheon (Watch
for your invitations in the mail!) as well as all of the fundraising
Beit T’Shuvah must do to keep its doors open to people seeking
redemption.
We are excited for all of the fun and educational events and activities
happening this summer and hope to see you and your families there.
We encourage you to follow us on Facebook and Instagram and/or
check in on our website for regular announcements of upcoming
events.
As the Development team works hard to ensure that no one who
comes to Beit T’Shuvah for help is ever turned away for financial
reasons, they also work hard to create a community that all of you
can be a part of—a place where you know that you matter. We
would love to engage with you and work together on moving the
mission of Beit T’Shuvah forward. Please contact Development
at 310-204-5200 for more info on how you can support our lifesaving program. ■
THE TEAM:
Janet Rosenblum, Director of Advancement | Ali Gabler, Development Manager | Avia Rosen, Events Coordinator
Nicole Goodman, Development Associate/Grants Manager | Amy Abrams, Development Associate
Aryeh Robbins, Database Administrator | Cheryl Wolf, Temple Development Liaison
/beittshuvah
@beittshuvah
www.beittshuvah.org
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PhD, OMD, LAc, CCH, QME
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S P R I N G 2 016
THE NEW AGE
ADDICT
By Jessica Fishel and Doug Rosen
WHEN WE THINK OF THE STEREOTYPICAL ADDICT,
we think of an old homeless person, begging for money, who has not showered
in weeks. In today’s day and age, this is not always the case. Today, the
stereotypical addict looks like this: graduated high school with a good GPA,
has parents who adore them and would give them the world 10 times over,
feels tremendous pressure to achieve and to please, and whose purpose has been
defined by the school system.
1 0 | B E I T T ’ S H U V A H | w w w. b e i t t s h u v a h . o r g
S P R I N G 2 016
THE NEW FACE OF ADDICTION:
AN OVERPROTECTED, OVERSCHEDULED
AND STRESSED OUT TEENAGER
Of course, we still treat people at Beit T’Shuvah
who at one point in their lives filled the older
stereotypical addict mold, but more often than not,
we are seeing young adults who look nothing like
that stereotype. In the past ten years, there has been
a major shift in addiction because of the strict rules
and high expectations that parents impose on their
children. When we applied to college, we needed
good grades, a few hours of community service, a
couple extracurricular activities and a sufficient SAT
score. Now, however, the expectations have risen to a
level that is unachievable for most teenagers. In 2015,
parents, teachers and college counselors suggest that
students enroll in multiple sports and extracurricular
activities, accumulate hundreds of hours of community
service, take all AP classes, graduate with a 5.0 GPA
and achieve a perfect SAT score. Teenagers are assigned
hours of homework and are overscheduled each night
of the week. How does society expect these teenagers
to stay afloat with all of the pressures that they must
endure? When are teenagers supposed to be teenagers,
and enjoy their high school years? We don’t have the
answers to these questions. But if our experience at
Beit T’Shuvah and the current headlines can tell us
anything, it’s that the new face of addiction is this: that
of an overprotected, overscheduled and stressed out
teenager.
Some teenagers are able to balance the pressure, work
through the stress and avoid using drugs as an escape
from reality. However, many students are unable to
cope with the expectations they are subjected to, and
are never given the proper skills to get through trying
times. We regularly see these stressed out students turn
to drugs and alcohol as temporary escape from their
realities.
In California, marijuana is not seen as a “heavy” drug,
and there is not as much of a stigma associated with
using it. However, what teenagers often do not know,
is that smoking marijuana takes a serious toll on the
developing brain, and the marijuana that is available
now is highly addictive. It is not the same marijuana
that “hippies” were smoking in the 1960s. Many
teenagers also drink and use prescribed amphetamines
to keep them awake during their long days at school
and long nights of studying. Again, many do not fully
appreciate the harm in taking an extra Adderall because
it is prescribed by a doctor. It is hard for teenagers to
foresee that their marijuana smoking and Adderall
popping may become a problem down the road.
Unfortunately, a lot of the time it leads a teenager to
becoming addicted at a young age and, as a result, in
treatment at a young age.
We can clearly see that the drug epidemic
in affluent communities is often directly
attributed to stress and over stimulation.
Parents love their children unconditionally
and would do anything for them, which is
wonderful. Unfortunately, such love actually
can backfire and, ultimately, destroy their
“perfect” child through both pressuring them
to fit a certain social model of perfection
or through overprotection. Sadly, in 2016,
finding a happy medium of working hard and
acting like a teenager is very difficult. Parents
are rarely educated on how they should curb
their own stress about their child succeeding
and living up to their expectations. If
teenagers did not have to live up to what their
parents want them to be and instead could
choose their own path, we may not see the
“new face” addict so frequently. Severing the
umbilical cord between the child and parents
is essential, especially when the child enters
treatment. Affluent youth must also learn how
to care for themselves, which is something
many have likely never had to do. They must
learn that money, material goods, grades and
scores do not matter in the long run! What
does matter is being a kind person, helping
others, feeling purposeful, finding a passion
and enjoying life! These are skills that “new
face” addicts need to learn.
Today’s addict lacks purpose and passion
because the purpose of many affluent
teenagers’ lives is to merely do well in school
and later in life make a lot of money. How
is a teenager able to find out what he or she
likes if there is no time in the day for selfdiscovery? We have found in the Partners in
Prevention program that educating teens and
their parents is the most effective solution to
combating the “new face” of addiction. The
pressures are becoming more severe each
year. We must urgently pursue this and other
effective solutions, so we do not have more
teenagers entering treatment straight out of
high school!
It is critical that we remember that we must
engage today’s teenagers in meaningful ways
and focus on who they are and what matters
to them. Grades, test scores and GPA’s do
not define them, nor do they measure their
character. Rather, character and spirit is
measured by how they live out their values.
We must constantly remind ourselves and
them about the importance of this, so that we
do not lose sight of what matters most! If we
want our kids to succeed and live good lives
we must take this call to action seriously and
start taking it now. ■
BARS, BATS & TOTS
CONGREGATION BEIT T'SHUVAH EXPANDS
PROGRAMMING FOR OUR YOUTH
BY CHERYL WOLF
F
or the past 30 years, Beit T’Shuvah has been known as a
renowned treatment center based upon Jewish Spirituality,
The 12-Steps, and psychotherapy. As we have continued to
build Beit T’Shuvah, our congregation has blossomed as well. Today
we offer an array of different experiences, ranging from our lively
Shabbat and Holiday services, movie screenings and talent shows, to
our guest speakers and Sisterhood. This past year, we launched our
Pay-What-You-Can membership campaign enabling everyone who
wishes to take part in our community. The campaign was based upon
our belief that everyone, regardless of how much money they can
afford for temple membership, should still have access to a spiritual
home and community. This much needed campaign sprouted from
the core concept of the Beit T’Shuvah treatment program mission: we
do not turn away anyone who is seeking treatment regardless of their
inability to pay. With a 60% increase in our temple membership, we
are very proud of this new campaign and all of the new faces to our
community.
Part of this year’s growth is also demonstrated in the implementation
of two new programs focusing on the youth of our Congregation.
Firstly, our monthly BTS Kids Shabbat, a family service led by
the incomparable Rabbi Paul Steinberg and Cantor Shira Fox, is
geared towards our members with children two to ten years old.
Each Shabapalooza is held in our beautiful sanctuary and is filled
with songs, stories, spirituality and is followed by a family-friendly
dinner. We encourage all members of our community with young
children to come take part in this amazing Shabbat experience… and
bring your friends! Secondly, we launched the Robert and Rochelle
Gluckstein B’Nai Mitzvah Program. Beit T’Shuvah has long had a
radical idea of what it means to become a Bar or Bat Mitzvah. The
term “Bar Mitzvah” translates to one of the commandments which
alludes that when a child turns 13, they are now responsible for
abiding by the commandments. At Beit T’Shuvah, mitzvah does not
only mean commandment, it also means connection, and we feel it
is imperative at this pivotal age that young adults become connected
to a community and to their own spirituality. In this program, the
student will work with our clergy, a spiritual seeker, our social action
program, and of course with their family. They will not only prepare
for their ceremony, they will also have the opportunity to participate
in the creation of their ceremony with assistance from our Clergy and
Creative Arts Department. This program, which can run from 10
months to 2 years, will be far more meaningful than just a “Jewish
Party that we study for;” it will represent the story of a particular
family and a particular child that are growing into a spiritual network
of enduring connection.
It is important to note that this focus on our youth is no coincidence,
and not an initiative merely because ‘this is what Synagogues do.’ This
is more importantly another sprout on a growing tree in which Beit
T’Shuvah is proactively trying to nurture our Jewish youth toward
healthy, integrated, whole, and confident selves. It’s not just our
critical prevention programs or educational immersions that are going
to help prevent or diagnose our youth; it is redirecting the traditions
and the rituals so that they transcend themselves and become a tool
for living well, without even thinking about it.
With all of this growth, Congregation
Beit T’Shuvah still remains
the same loving, spiritual
community where all are
welcome and a good time is
guaranteed. If you haven’t
already, we invite you to
come check us out! ■
JOIN US EVERY FRIDAY
FOR SHABBAT SERVICES
& DINNER AT 6:30pm.
ASK US ABOUT RENTING
OUR STUNNING NEW
SPACE FOR YOUR SIMCHA!
Contact Cheryl Wolf at [email protected] for more information.
S P R I N G 2 016
THE NEXT
STEP
by Scarlet Barber
There is a great void that lies within the transition
between living in a supportive rehab environment and
entering the workforce. Beit T’Shuvah’s Work Therapy
Program recognizes and targets this disparity.
This back to work phase in a person’s recovery can be one of the
most challenging to face, and even more so to survive. Without being
equipped with the necessary tools to make it through this shaky
transition, relapse often seems like the only option—the only way
to respond to the discomfort, the pressure and the responsibility that
comes with extreme change. In the Work Therapy Program at Beit
T’Shuvah, residents have guidance and support through this difficult
stage. They are taught accountability and financial responsibility.
Those teachings, coupled with continued counseling and therapy,
position the residents for future success. Extended Care Manager
and Work Therapy Program Director, Kelly Mulligan, states, “We
imbue an element into the work experience that calls for the residents
to bring the recovery principles that they are learning in direct
relationship to their drug addiction into their work life.”
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Whether a resident of Beit T’Shuvah has a recognizable passion or not,
Work Therapy provides a venue to either explore or discover a passion.
Beit T’Shuvah offers Work Therapy in numerous departments: the
kitchen, development, clinical, Creative Matters, music, theatre, the
BTS Thrift Store, the Elaine Breslow Institute, Partners in Prevention,
and the Susan and Leonard Nimoy Career Center. For residents who
recognize a passion, Work Therapy provides an avenue to achieve
those dreams and gain confidence. For those unsure of what they are
passionate about, Work Therapy provides an opportunity to explore
possibilities, promoting realization of a possible purpose. For Justin,
Jake, and Tara, three Work Therapy participants at Beit T’Shuvah, the
program has propelled them forward in recovery, as well as provided
them with sustainable tools in achieving their dreams.
w w w. b e i t t s h u v a h . o r g | B E I T T ’ S H U V A H | 1 3
JAKE S.
Age 28
2 previous attempts in rehab
Addicted to alcohol, opiates, and cocaine
U
naccepted and disconnected were the feelings that swelled, the triggers that catalyzed the fire, the flames that engulfed Jake in the world
of substance abuse as early as middle school. Attending a new school for the first time left Jake feeling aimless, anchorless, and seeking
out a remedy to his loneliness. Quickly, Jake plummeted down the rabbit hole of addiction. An affinity for drawing and playing hockey were
soon substituted with a fleeting sense of purpose in selling weed and eventually, cocaine. A daily battle with chemical dependence accelerated
through multiple drugs, devouring the subsequent years of his life. Miraculously, he managed to graduate college in May of 2013, but was
still plagued by a complete lack of direction. Jake began to drink daily, and although he used many drugs throughout the years, it was alcohol
that took him to his knees. Waking up shaking and miserable every morning, there came a moment where Jake understood the severity of his
addiction, and as a result, he asked for help. Jake arrived at Beit T’Shuvah as a day patient in July of 2014, and soon realized it would be the
solution to his suffering. Becoming a full-time resident, Beit T’Shuvah became the destination of his salvation.
Perhaps Jake’s epiphany foreshadowed his future endeavor of being instrumental in saving lives at Beit T’Shuvah, the community that saved
his own life. Bonding with Zac Jones—a program facilitator at the time, now a counselor—after a Sunday morning meeting, he decided to
follow Zac’s example of recovery. He decided to take on a Work Therapy position as a program facilitator in December of 2014. Working
diligently to procure a staff position as a program facilitator, Jake’s goal came to fruition six months later.
Achieving a staff position at Beit T’Shuvah as a program facilitator through the Work Therapy Program has served two functions: Jake has
found both a calling he wants to turn into a career, and a close-knit family in the clinical department. His co-workers are his close friends—a
bond that exceeds far beyond a work environment. Aspirations of being valuable to others by providing drugs have now been replaced by
aspirations of helping the residents of Beit T’Shuvah to stay off of them. He explains with conviction, “It feels so special to work with people
that are literally at the verge of death, and watch them come back to life.” Aiding in the transformation of others, Jake is finally starting to
find success in his pursuit of purpose.
BOTTOM LINE:
Before: “My life was a very small meaningless existence of selfishness and greed. And at the end of the day, I just didn’t feel like I
produced anything to make the world a better place.”
After: “What I’ve found at Beit T’Shuvah is a use for myself and a use for the skills and talents that I have, and at the end of the day,
that makes me feel like I’ve contributed something.”
JUSTIN G.
Age 27
20 previous attempts in rehab
Addicted to Heroin, Meth, and Crack
S
moking a little pot here and drinking a little alcohol there, Justin was a typical teenager, but with a solid dedication to his athletic
commitments. But things changed once he went away to college—once he was away from his parents’ suspicions and their ultimate
authority. Falling into fraternity life, indulgent drinking and debilitating hangovers became the norm for Justin, and eventually, Oxycontin
became the cure-all for those nasty morning-afters. No longer just a band-aid, those opiates became a crutch for each and every day he was
in school. Just barely graduating, Justin then changed his scene, but the behavior remained the same. His addiction to Oxycontin led to a
decade’s long battle with drugs, multiple arrests, the inability to hold a job, and scaring his parents half to death—that’s what landed Justin at
Beit T’Shuvah in December 2014.
Upon entrance to Beit T’Shuvah, Justin surrendered, resolving to take direction. Adopting pragmatism in the place of escapism, he participates
in Work Therapy on the Beit T’Shuvah Thrift Store truck. Naturally, in the past, Justin would take the easy way out by seeking employment
in jobs yielding more money for less work, a common characteristic found in addicts. Conversely, it’s hard work lifting furniture all day, but
this role fills him with an unparalleled sense of accomplishment.
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While at work, Justin jokes around or discusses the latest sports games with his co-workers, Mickey and John, who are also his good friends.
They teach him how to build his work ethic, as well as how to find the silver lining in any given situation, instead of fixating on the negative
aspects. His work therapy experience has served many purposes in his recovery, as well as in his aspiration to go back to Law School by teaching
him the importance of accountability, time management, and living in the moment. When his brother walked in on him shooting up heroin
in the bathroom, the last straw leading to his arrival at Beit T’Shuvah, the bleakness encompassing his life eclipsed any glimmer of hope he
had for the future. Now, over a year later, Justin has a great relationship with his family, he’s happy with who he is, and a career in law is on
the horizon.
BOTTOM LINE:
Before: “I felt hopeless and doomed, like I was fated to a life of misery.”
After: “I feel optimistic that I will achieve the goal I set for myself, and I’m proud of the person I see in the mirror.”
TARA P.
Age 28
1 previous attempt in rehab
Addicted to Crystal Meth
A
dysfunctional family, battling ADHD, and being sent away from home—these were the trials Tara encountered in the formative years
of her life. A sequence of wilderness programs, boarding schools, and treatment centers followed. Arriving home to a broken family in
the aftermath of these events, unable to cope, eighteen-year-old Tara escaped the only way she knew how. She left home again, but this time
of her own volition, and planted herself in Santa Barbara, attending community college and working two jobs in an attempt to create a life
for herself. Instead, she was seduced by crystal meth and a dangerous lifestyle dancing and dealing drugs to support her habit. In and out of
jail, engaging in numerous illegal activities, and eventually losing everything, Tara realized she couldn’t use drugs to cope anymore. Tara’s first
attempt in recovery at Beit T’Shuvah was in December of 2011, but she was unable to actualize a life in sobriety. “I was never the type of drug
addict that ever intended on quitting using drugs. I always thought I would end up in jail or dead eventually, and I knew that, and I never
thought I would ever get sober because I couldn’t imagine my life without drugs,” she describes. Multiple years and arrests later, she changed
her mind about the inevitability of this resolution, and she entered Beit T’Shuvah for the second time in February of 2014, now willing and
desperate for a change.
Formerly burdened by the mystery of recovery and sobriety, and unable to conceptualize these notions, Tara slowly became receptive to
guidance. “Getting sober felt like leaping for life,” she explains, “I either stand on this cliff and get burned by the fire, or I jump for my safety
and hope I land in deep water.” Understanding the difficulty of entering treatment, informed by her own experience, she decided to participate
in Work Therapy as a program facilitator in the clinical department. A significant milestone for her, she describes this experience saying, “The
most powerful thing about working at Beit T’Shuvah is helping other addicts stay sober; that’s what really keeps me sober.” Discovering a
passion for helping others achieve sobriety, Tara was hired full time eight months later.
Working in the clinical department began a new chapter in Tara’s life. Connection, patience, honesty, respect, friendship, discipline, family,
and a purpose—this is a vast list of how Tara has proved past repetitions wrong. A new ambition to help others by becoming a labor and
delivery nurse, like her mother and grandmother before her, stemmed from this position. Tara is a vision of success, illustrating how Beit
T’Shuvah’s Work Therapy Program can unequivocally transform someone’s life.
BOTTOM LINE:
Before: “I never intended to stop doing drugs. It didn’t cross my mind to try and quit and I was willing to suffer the consequences.”
After: “I have everything I want, everything I wish I could have, I have, but it was something that was newly discovered. I never knew
that I was able to live the way I live today.”
Revealing the penetrating truth of what the Work Therapy Program experience does for the residents in this transition, Kelly Mulligan
explains, “There is the fantasy of sobriety, and there is the reality of sobriety, and sometimes when you fall into the complexities of facing an
adult life, you feel like you are further than you have ever been from obtaining what you want in life—when the reality is, you’ve never been
closer to achieving your dreams.” ■
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RUSSELL &
MERYL KERN
BY JENNY SHERMAN
R
ussell and Meryl Kern have made a
wonderful life for themselves through
all that they have done for others.
Giving their time, energy, professional
skills, mentorship and monetary donations,
the Kerns have been, and continue to
be, a life force within the Beit T’Shuvah
community. They have loved ones who
have been saved by the treatment center;
they have grandchildren who exist because
of relationships formed there. They have
both had their hands deep in the formation
and growth of Creative Matters Agency—
the social enterprise of Beit T’Shuvah that
trains recovering addicts “high valued skills,”
as Russell puts it, in communication art.
But most importantly, they fundamentally
believe in what Beit T’Shuvah is and what
it does for so many affected by addiction.
There isn’t another organization that means
more to the couple.
S P R I N G 2 016
“IT’S THE ORGANIZATION THAT WE’RE MOST
PASSIONATE ABOUT...IT’S THE ORGANIZATION THAT
WE’RE GRATEFUL FOR, FOR SAVING OUR CHILDREN.”
Russell has known Rabbi Mark for about twenty years—back when
Rabbi was still in rabbinical school and Meryl hadn’t yet come into
Russell’s life. But when Meryl did show up after interviewing for a
position at Russell’s marketing agency, she came fraught with despair
for her daughter who was battling legal troubles. Russell immediately
thought of Rabbi and Beit T’Shuvah. “When [Meryl] walked in,
I was like—I don’t really know why you’re here,” he jokes. “But I
know one guy—of any place you should go—and that’s Rabbi.”
With that, Meryl’s daughter went through treatment, cleaned up her
life and is now living one full of meaning. “Beit T’Shuvah saved my
child,” Meryl says with the utmost gratitude. God has a funny way of
working. Who would ever have imagined that stepping foot into that
agency for a job interview would lead Meryl to the love of her life,
and the saving of her daughter.
In 2009, the relationship between the Kerns and Beit T’Shuvah
branched off into one of collaboration—one that would distinguish
Beit T’Shuvah from a sea of treatment centers, and position it as a place
that not only offers
treatment, but also
“AFTER ATTENDING SHABBAT
opportunity for
SERVICES AT THE HOUSE, AND
people to acquire
HEARING THE MUSIC THERE,
new,
relevant
skills to help
RUSSELL SAID TO HIMSELF, 'OH
with a smooth
MY GOD, WE’VE GOT TO GET
transition into the
THE WORD SPREAD OF THIS
workforce. After
WONDERFUL ORGANIZATION!'”
attending Shabbat
services at the
house, and hearing
the music there, Russell said to himself, “Oh my god, we’ve got to get
the word spread of this wonderful organization!” It was the beginning
of the social media craze at the time, and Russell knew that that
digital platform could be instrumental in getting the word out about
Beit T’Shuvah. Rabbi introduced Russell to John Sullivan—a BTS
resident at the time and one of the key players in the formation of
Creative Matters Agency (formerly BTS Communications). Russell
began giving John books on marketing and advertising, which he
took to rather quickly. Self-teaching, mentorship and direction
sparked the idea that, maybe, they could start a little agency that
would, “offer graphic design services to the synagogue and other
businesses, and try to make it a training for profit business,” says
Russell. This idea began as just that—an idea. There was no way of
knowing that six years later, Creative Matters would be a thriving
business with an impressive list of clients—many of whom are also
nonprofit organizations. Russell continues to act as a mentor to the
organization, and his prolonged involvement with the agency has
been nothing short of critical in its solid, albeit fledgling success.
With a marketing and advertising background herself, Meryl
had much to offer the budding Creative Matters’ team. She too
volunteered her time mentoring the interns, and brought her
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firsthand experience in outdoor advertising to the agency when they
began work on Fatburger’s outdoor campaign. “I was able to help
guide them and help them learn what outdoor advertising was all
about, and how different it is from what they’re doing today,” Meryl
says of her involvement. Since Creative Matters was grounded in
digital and collateral communication, this insider’s look into another,
more primitive, yet essential form of marketing was invaluable to the
agency and to its growth.
The presence of Russell and Meryl Kern isn’t, by any means, only felt
at Creative Matters; they are immersed in the life and culture of Beit
T’Shuvah. “It’s the organization that we’re most passionate about,”
Russell says, adding, “it’s the organization that we’re grateful for, for
saving our children.” To Meryl, donating to Beit T’Shuvah is a “no
brainer.” They are consistently in awe of all the great work that is done
at the house—all the lives that are saved. “We have new marriages,
we have new babies,” Russell boasts. “So the saving of life is not just
the saving of life from death—it’s the saving of a full life.” That truth
is what makes Beit T’Shuvah so special. It’s not just a place to get
sober; it’s a place to reclaim a life that was once lost or never even yet
discovered. It’s a place to find human connection and reconnect with
estranged friends and family members. Russell reminds us that, “we
talk about a richer more meaningful life [in AA], and many people
leave Beit T’Shuvah living a richer and more meaningful life. And
for [Meryl and me], we believe that to save one soul is like saving the
world. So we’re 100% committed to that.”
There is one thing that we have to remember when we look at our
donors: they aren’t just blindly giving—every donation is deliberate,
comes straight from the heart and is backed by unwavering support
of Beit T’Shuvah’s cause. Russell and Meryl Kern know that whatever
it is that they give, it is going to an organization with a cause that
is personal, and one
that has undoubtedly
AND FOR [MERYL AND ME],
changed their lives in
the most wonderful
WE BELIEVE THAT TO SAVE
of ways. The life they
ONE SOUL IS LIKE SAVING
have made is what it is
THE WORLD. SO WE’RE 100%
today because of their
COMMITTED TO THAT.
dedication to changing
the lives of those lost.
During this interview with the Kerns, the author of this article
expressed her thanks for the Kern’s role in changing her life, and for
giving her the opportunity to discover her passion. Russell responds to
that thanks by saying, “The fact that we can sit here and look at each
other and smile, that this little crazy idea allowed an individual like
yourself to have her life saved and to find meaningful work—that is
what drives our passion and commitment to the organization.” There
is no doubt that this amazing couple has been a part of changing the
lives of many individuals, including this one. ■
in the waves
in life
By Lynn Lancaster
T
wo years ago, I was fortunate enough to be a part of the first
cohort of Jewish educators to participate in an immersion week at
the Elaine Breslow Institute for Addiction, Prevention and Family
Education (EBI) at Beit T’Shuvah. I, along with five colleagues—
most of us educators, some of us clergy—was invited to learn about
myself, both professionally and personally. I was challenged to explore
wholeness and brokenness in my own life, addiction and the human
condition, and, perhaps, most importantly, the ways that community
and Torah go hand in hand at Beit T’Shuvah. It is through learning
and hard work that my life has been profoundly transformed,
personally and professionally.
Over the course of the five-day immersion at EBI, the professionals
of Beit T’Shuvah, and the treatment center’s residents, became our
teachers. We learned from them and with them.
Each day began with Torah study with the rest of the community.
We learned about addiction, family, and t’shuvah (repentence). We
spent hours learning with Rabbi Mark, Harriet and Dr. O’Connor (a
blessed memory), along with many other inspiring people. We were
privileged enough to participate in facilitated group sessions with
residents, where we quickly realized how much we had in common
with the plight of an addict, and how little actually separated us as
human beings. The week ended with an incredible Shabbat service,
another chance to experience Beit T’Shuvah living Jewish values.
We traveled back to the East Coast exhausted, exhilarated and inspired.
As educators, we listened to the voices of Beit T’Shuvah and heard
the challenges in our own communities. We all worked with families
who were already in trouble, many of them living with shame, and
most of them trying to hide. Our teens were exhausted from trying to
maintain a facade of perfection. Rather than offer them sanctuary from
a world that only focused on a narrowly defined path to success, the
Jewish community cheered them on. After a week at Beit T’Shuvah,
it was impossible to deny the heavy cost our families and children
were paying. Why was there no place at the Jewish community’s table
for those who struggled, questioned their worth, and were in pain?
Why couldn’t we acknowledge that addiction, mental illness and
substance abuse were just as prevalent in the Jewish community as in
any other? How could we help create Jewish communities that were as
comfortable with our tears—and everything in between—as they are
with our simchas (joyous occassions)? How could we teach our youth
that falling down and getting back up, with the help of our families
and community, is what Jewish life is all about. This was the task that
the Elaine Breslow Institute put before us. I knew the struggle all too
well.
Three years earlier, when my own teenage son was at Beit T’Shuvah,
Rabbi Mark came to spend a pre-planned afternoon with the teens
and families at the Forest Hills Jewish Center. Though I had been a
professional in the community for ten years, and had invited Rabbi
Mark to work with families that I cared about deeply, I was too afraid
to share my own truth. Soon after, I learned that honesty was healing
for me and that it created an open door for others to do the same. I
returned from the immersion program with greater knowledge and
understanding. I also returned with a group of people who had shared
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the experience and understood the work that needed to be done. I
was not sure how that work would take shape, but opportunities
presented themselves, and I became more confident that I could
make a difference. My focus was on creating a safe space for teens
and tweens. I knew that I wanted to teach resilience and passion in
a way that helped each child realize that he or she was created in
God’s image. I wanted our children to have the opportunity to learn
Judaism’s message in a way that would help them make healthy
choices and take appropriate risks. I also knew that this would not
happen in a classroom.
"I wanted our children to have the
opportunity to learn Judaism’s message in a way
that would help them make healthy choices and
take appropriate risks. I also knew that this
would not happen in a classroom."
Over the summer of 2014, UJA Federation of N.Y., and the Jim
Joseph Foundation requested proposals for Teen summer programs
to begin in the summer of 2015. While I wondered how to construct
a program that would reach Jewish teens with what I had learned at
Beit T’Shuvah, my partner Danny Mishkin was surfing on a beach
in N.Y.C., wondering how he could use surfing as a vehicle to teach
Jewish teens about Jewish spirituality and resilience. A colleague
and mutual friend realized the potential of our working together,
and thus Sababa Surf Camp was born.
Last summer, we ran three week-long sessions of Sababa Surf
Camp. Though we thought that teens would be seduced by the
idea of surfing, we quickly found out that not only had most N.Y.
teens never surfed, but also it was a frightening prospect for them.
However, when we offered them a week of no worries at the beach,
the deal was sealed. Danny and I worked with a team from Beit
T’Shuvah. Baila Drucker and Joseph Lancaster of Beit T’Shuvah’s
family and clinical programs worked with us in N.Y., staffing
each of the sessions. Their ideas, creativity, and know-how were
instrumental in making our first summer a success. Our week long
sessions provide our teens with a respite from their pressured lives.
They learned relaxation tools based in Jewish learning and prayer.
Surfing is the perfect metaphor and medium for what we are trying
to teach. Surfing teaches the importance of getting back up after
you fall. Riding a wave allows a teen to feel powerful and humble at
the same time. We want teens to be enthusiastic, resilient, healthy
and a little bit rebellious. The combination provides a very different
Judaism than most of our teens have experienced. With the beach as
our sanctuary, and the waves as our learning lab, Judaism becomes
cool and can help a teen find life more meaningful and fulfilling.
As we prepared for our first summer, I returned to the Elaine
Breslow Institute, and Danny attended for the first time alongside
me. Beit T’Shuvah was our learning lab. As we expand the program,
we continue to use the learning and resources we found at Beit
T’Shuvah. We are working to bring the Sababa experience to more
teens in N.Y. this summer, and hope that it will expand in summers
to come. Our goal, just like EBI’s, is to help teens find their balance
in life, as well as on a board. ■
EVENTS
A GLANCE AT THIS YEAR’S BIGGEST MOMENTS
We were honored last year with visits from extraordinary people and
organizations, from MLK Shabbat to the kids of The Miracle Project,
and discussions led by Suzanna Heschel, Bill Deresiewicz and Eric
Gentry to name a few. The Sisterhood brought us latkes and lattes,
and our talent show was host to an array of incredible performances.
We also introduced the BTS Menemsha Films Series and watched
powerful and moving stories in our very own sanctuary.
Freedom Song
Leadership Institute Immersion
Alumni Picnic
Food Chain$ Premiere
Bill Deresiewicz Excellent Sheep Book Signing
Sisterhood Latkes & Lattes
Passover 2015
Campus Dedication Event?
Eric Gentry Seminar
Menemsha Film Series
Beatles Shabbat
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The Miracle Project joins Beit T’Shuvah
Talent Show
BISIW Event
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Suzanna Heschel Night of Learning
MLK Shabbat
By Barbara Solarz
bts|music
In talking about Beit T’Shuvah’s Music Department, Glenn Goss, project leader of
the fledgling BTS Music project, says, “We might be the best-kept secret anywhere.”
And yet for years now, the Music Department’s exciting brand of contemporary
original music has brought the Jewish community into the metaphorical Chautauqua
tent and kept them coming back to services by the hundreds.
bts|music
Glenn came to Beit T’Shuvah in 2014, and is now employed by
Beit T’Shuvah to bring professional music industry practices to the
Music Department. His life-long experience in the music industry as
a veteran songwriter and musician, and a desire to endow the legacy
of the Beit T’Shuvah songwriters, make him the logical choice to
spearhead the music publishing project, BTS Music. Glenn envisions
a BTS Songwriters Collective, a community of songwriters who
will “give back” to Beit T’Shuvah, while creating an avenue for
songwriting revenue in a unique partnership of their musical talent
and Beit T’Shuvah’s resources.
with the scrubs or play in the band?”
James Fuchs is the Creative Director of the Creative Arts Department.
Like Glenn, he recognizes that music attracts people to Beit T’Shuvah,
but also believes that Beit T’Shuvah helps the individual musician
find his or her purpose and passion in life. He articulates the role of
the Art Department as part of the BTS program of treatment: “This
is a magical place. From where I sit, I’m always finding if people can
go through the process, they’ll find they fill a need here. We will find
it together . . . because people come to us and they have these talents.
And what do you do with it? What do you do with a guy who’s a
ProTools whiz? We put him in the studio. What do you do with Alex
S.? A guy who’s been here four times, who’s a talented guy who can’t
keep off drugs? Give him a place to use his talent while he’s here. . .”
Laura Bagish, Beit T’Shuvah’s Choir Director talks about the
character of the songs coming out of Beit T’Shuvah being unique:
“What we are doing is different from a lot of people. . . We’re writing
songs in a personal way.” Beit T’Shuvah’s catch phrase “You Matter”
was inspired by Laura’s introspective anthem “Everything Matters”
and trademarks Beit T’Shuvah from the theme song on the website
to the ID bracelets given to first time Shabbat attendees, to the sign
off on Rabbi Mark’s email. Written from a perspective of personal
stories and personal struggles, the music makes manifest rawness,
honesty and introspection.
It engages those cognitive
behavioral processes that are
crucial to Beit T’Shuvah’s
clinical
treatment
of
addiction. And in return,
it rewards the artist with a
sense of agency, choice and
renewed confidence in their
creative faculties.
As with most things at
Beit T’Shuvah, the original
vision for music at BTS came from Harriet. Speak to any of the key
players in the music department about the old days, and Harriet’s
The ProTools whiz is Aaron Delug, who manages the house band
and the recording studio at Beit T’Shuvah. Aaron came into Beit
T’Shuvah on a court order in 2010. Although he could play the bass
and guitar, and had gone to school to learn sound engineering at 21,
he didn’t tell anyone at Beit T'Shuvah about his music ability. When
Choir Director Laura Bagish caught him playing the guitar on the
patio, he reluctantly agreed to try participating in the band. “But
I’m not doing any Shabbat services. I just want to make that clear.
You will never get me to play at a service.” Aaron pauses and wryly
concludes: “And the rest is history.” Now he recruits new residents to
play at services: “You have to be there anyway, dude. You want to sit
S P R I N G 2 016
Aaron is 36 now, and a husband and father. He describes Beit
T’Shuvah’s unique appeal: “Most people who come to Beit T’Shuvah,
who get involved here, their first exposure is a Friday Night Service.
And their first exposure to the Friday Night Service is a guitar solo.
When ‘Bim Bam’ starts, you’re right there: drums, guitar solo, all that
stuff. Before Rabbi ever says a word about Heschel or whatever he’s
going to talk about, before anybody takes a cake or they do gratitude
or anything, it’s the first thing that sucks them in—the music.”
“What do you do with
Alex S.? A guy who’s been
here four times, who’s a
talented guy who can’t
keep off drugs? Give him
a place to use his talent
while he’s here.”
“Do creative people become addicts or are addicts creative? ...so many people who
come here are talented musically or in some other area. That’s not an accident.
Talented people become addicts. Addicts are talented.
I don’t know how you establish the difference. ”
name will come up as the inspiration for music.
And the metaphor for Harriet is: she unlocked the piano.
Harriet explains: “Music has always been my connection to mind. I
get there through music. I love music. We were looking for a musician
and Carrie [Appelbaum Newman] found James [Fuchs] in jail. And
she came running back and said: ‘I found you a musician!’ She found
me a musician. . . She found me a genius!
“And that was a real Beit T’Shuvah story because James was angry
and dark and didn’t want any of this, didn’t want The 12 Steps and
didn’t want therapy and was grumpy a lot of the time, and I would
hear him playing the piano in the sanctuary. And I would go and
listen. I ain’t no genius but I know one when I hear one!
“And counselors would say ‘He shouldn’t be able to play the piano
until he works the steps. Let’s take away the piano because that’s all
he does.’ And I said ‘Wrong! That’s the only thing that’s keeping him
here and that’s igniting his spirit and if we take that away, he’ll have
nothing. Let’s let him play and hope that he’ll get to the other at some
point.’
“Songwriting. That was Mark’s [Rabbi Mark] piece. He had this
vision to take prayers and have people interpret them and then set
them to music. . . To make the prayers contemporary and relevant to
people. And that’s taken off, the music writing part.”
The music writing part has indeed taken off. In fact, inspired by
Rabbi’s Spiritual Songwriting group and led by Glenn Goss in a
serendipitous partnership
with Barbara Solarz (a
congregation member),
Beit T’Shuvah is creating
a music publishing arm
to actively market and
license the original music
coming out of the Music
Department.
Harriet continues: “I feel
really excited about that.
That’s an outlet for talent
and creativity as well as a potential revenue source. And putting those
things together is what I would like to do in all areas of the program:
uniting talent with revenue streams.”
A combination of art and a revenue stream is the perpetual dilemma
of the working artist. And that’s exactly what BTS Music’s mission
is. We publish and copyright music written by our artist collective
and our residents, promoting it to Jewish organizations, outside
commercial enterprises in the United States and abroad. We employ
professional music administrators to market and place our original
music. The revenue will be split between the individual songwriter
and Beit T’Shuvah. We also plan to solicit membership to our
Musical Tzedakah Box in which membership donations will help us
fund our program. Members of the Tzedakah Box will have access to
music downloads and special music events and concerts.
And Beit T’Shuvah will have a revenue stream to fund beds for
musicians (as we’ve seen, musicians are a particularly susceptible
population to addiction), to update the recording studio, and to fund
the BTS Music Work Therapy program, which will give residents a
chance to work in the music business and learn fundamental business
practices while earning money. Beit T’Shuvah recognizes that a large
part of our event attendance is due to the musicians who come here to
be helped, and who contribute to our music program. We intend to
partner with other music recovery and aid organizations to maintain
our unique blend of Judaism, recovery, self-reflection, and art.
“out of all the things I’ve done, this is
the best musical experience I’ve ever
had. It’s more than the music:
lives change here. ”
Harriet muses: “I don’t know which is the chicken and which is
the egg. Do creative people become addicts or are addicts creative?
Because creativity is a right brain activity and I think a lot of addicts
are right-brained and don’t do well in school and in traditional
venues. They don’t find their place easily in the world. And so many
people who come here are talented musically or in some other area.
That’s not an accident. Talented people become addicts. Addicts are
talented. I don’t know how you establish the difference.”
Glenn, in speaking about the motivation for the Songwriter’s
Collective, explains it this way: “The unique thing is that we have a
collective of people who are writing songs and sharing their experience
of how they got there and how they get through life. So I think we
have that going here because that is what happens here. It happens
organically.
“For me, it’s bigger than the music. The music for me is something
that we do together, that we can share. But out of all the things I’ve
done, this is the best musical experience I’ve ever had. It’s more than
the music: lives change here. The process—I’ve watched lives change.
I’ve watched my life change... And in that, this great music comes out
that we share with the community of 400 people every weekend...
It has a purpose, a daily purpose, a weekly purpose. It’s not about
playing in a stadium. It’s not about that. It’s about what
we can give back to this community. And that to me is a
real music experience.” ■
S P R I N G 2 016
BTS OPEN
2015
On June 8, 2015 Beit T’Shuvah held the BTS Open at
El Caballero Country Club in Tarzana. One hundred
and nine dedicated players joined us for an amazing day
filled with good fun, food, and friends on El Caballero’s
gorgeous fairway. Between the cigars, the sunshine, and
the follow-through, supporting a good cause has never
been so enjoyable! Thank you to everyone for coming
out to support us, and making this tournament a holein-one!
THANK YOU TO OUR GENEROUS SPONSORS!
the antin family
delug family | charles winkler
S P R I N G 2 016
A PROGRAM OF PROGRESS
INTRODUCING BEIT T’SHUVAH’S IOP PROGRAM
BY ANDY BESSER
D
aily marijuana use among college-aged young adults is at its
highest since 1980. In California, the rate of youth drugrelated overdose deaths more than doubled in the past ten
years. Opiate prescription pain killer abuse is sky rocketing as is
heroin use. Prescription and over-the-counter (OTC) drugs are, after
marijuana and alcohol, the most commonly abused substances by
Americans 14 and older. We are in the middle of a major drug abuse
crisis.
Here at Beit T’Shuvah, we have developed a brand new program that
expands the options and opportunities available for those needing
and seeking recovery. The Intensive Outpatient Program (IOP) at
Beit T’Shuvah has just opened and is for adults, 18 and older, who
are ready to make the commitment to recovery, but do not require
the intensity or duration of Beit T'Shuvah's residential treatment
program. For those individuals who are living in a safe environment,
our IOP is designed to provide world class treatment within the
framework of Beit T'Shuvah's mission of providing addiction
treatment to any appropriate client, irrespective of their ability to pay.
Our IOP's individualized 90-day program is unique in that we are
the only not-for-profit community-based IOP providing clients with
their own team of professionals dedicated to their recovery. Each
client is assigned an addiction counselor, a psychotherapist, and a
spiritual counselor, which allows us to provide truly individualized
treatment. As a not-for-profit, we are able to focus on recovery and
help each of our clients create a sustainable foundation upon which
they can rebuild their lives.
The IOP runs from 9:00 a.m. until 11:00 a.m. Monday through
Wednesday, and from 9:00 a.m. until noon on Thursdays. Following
IOP programing, clients have the option of staying on the Beit
T’Shuvah campus and participating in the regular BTS programing
and BTS community activities. This provides the opportunity
for IOP clients to become fully engaged and connected with Beit
T’Shuvah. Connection to a sober community helps support and
ensure recovery.
Our program is comprised of a combination of 12-Step recovery and
spirituality; we embrace all therapeutic modalities, including medicalassisted recovery. Each day clients will participate in a combination
of individual therapy and process group sessions; they will meet with
their addiction and spiritual counselors, as well as participate in their
choice of community activities, which will aid in their transition back
to a meaningful life. Our integrative approach works on mind, body
and spirit.
The mind-body activities available to our clients include hiking,
gardening, choir, theatre classes, pilates, chiropractic care, psalms and
songs, music, Los Angeles Marathon training, group fitness training,
meditation, art therapy, basketball, equine therapy, surfing and more.
All of our programing is designed to teach the skills necessary to
achieve sustained sobriety, personal recovery and to create a sense of
connection to the community at Beit T'Shuvah. It is well-established
fact that connection to a supportive and nurturing community is a
key ingredient for sustained sobriety.
For nearly 30 years, Beit T'Shuvah has been helping its clients recover
their passion and discover their purpose. A passion and purpose
filled life is one in which drugs and addictive behaviors become
less necessary. As the knowledge concerning addiction treatment
has advanced and evolved, so has Beit T'Shuvah's programing and
standards of practice. Beit T'Shuvah is providing state of the art
treatment in a brand new facility. We are now JCAHO accredited,
the highest rating for healthcare providers. Beit T'Shuvah is proud
to now be offering a world-class outpatient program under the Beit
T'Shuvah umbrella. Welcome to the IOP at Beit T’Shuvah. ■
S P R I N G 2 016
n
ThE
ch
o
C
to
W
n
o
d
t
L au
un
By J e n n y S h e r m a n
WE CAN PICTURE IT—AN ANGSTY TWENTY-SOMETHING PLOPPED ON
THE COUCH, BONG IN ONE HAND, GAME CONTROLLER IN THE OTHER—
GLAZED, SLOTHFUL AND DISINTERESTED. OFTEN TIMES, WE SEE
SOMEONE WHO DOESN’T CARE TO WORK, WHO DOESN’T CARE TO MOVE
FORWARD IN LIFE, SOMEONE WHO SEEMS PERFECTLY CONTENT NOT
DOING ANYTHING AT ALL. THESE ARE THE IMAGES THAT TYPICALLY
COME TO MIND WHEN WE THINK OF A “FAILURE TO LAUNCH.” BUT WHAT
GOES ON BENEATH THAT VISUAL CLICHÉ? WHY IS THAT PERSON STUCK?
WHAT IS HOLDING THEM BACK? I AM HOPING TO UNCOVER SOME OF WHAT
LIES BENEATH THE SURFACE OF TWO PEOPLE WHO GOT SO STUCK: ONE
WHO CAME INTO TREATMENT A SELF-DESCRIBED FAILURE TO LAUNCH;
AND ONE WHO CAME IN AFTER HAVING CRASHED… HARD—THE LATTER
IS ME. MY NAME IS JENNY. I AM A FORMER BEIT T’SHUVAH RESIDENT,
AND I NOW WORK AT CREATIVE MATTERS AS A COPYWRITER. I’D LIKE
TO INTRODUCE MYSELF, AND MY GOOD FRIEND AND COWORKER, ERIC.
I first met Eric Miller in the spring of 2014, when Beit T’Shuvah treated all of us residents to a trip to AJU’s Brandeis Camp Institute for four
days of sober fun and bonding. On a grassy field, I was getting to know Eric, and some other commiserating comrades. I asked him what he
was “in for.” He said, “Well, Rabbi told me I’m a ‘failure to launch.’” Initially, I giggled a bit, but I understood what he meant. I had come
into treatment as an alcoholic, but I identified with that word—failure. And I could certainly understand what it meant to fail at launching
in life. Dreaming of the stars, but always believing they were out of my reach. Standing frozen in time while all my peers soared past me in
accomplishment. Eric and I quickly became friends.
S P R I N G 2 016
He had this cynical outlook on life, and a self-deprecating sense
of humor that I found endearing and relatable. But after a while, I
saw the anxiety, I saw the pain, I saw the self-loathing and internal
despair. I felt it because I knew it. But I didn’t know where his
struggles, where his pain came from, or why he seemed to dislike
himself so much. I knew
he wasn’t abused or
mistreated growing up.
I knew his parents loved
him unconditionally. I
knew he lived in a world
of affluence—I too came
from that world, once
upon a time, and I knew
money certainly didn’t
buy happiness. So what
‘bought’ so much anxiety
and misery?
Raising a child in
affluence isn’t necessarily
a precursor to anything;
eric and his dad - 2004
wanting the best for a
child is just part of the
role as a loving, caring
parent. But we often don’t look at the bits and pieces that surround
our children as they are growing up; the invisible elements we often
have no control over—ADHD and other learning disabilities,
sibling dynamics, where we live, our chemical makeup or physical
appearance. I wanted to understand Eric better, so I talked to the
people who could uncover those elements—his parents.
In the early years of his life, Eric suffered from a speech problem.
His parents, Joel and Lori, both talked about a medication Lori was
given when she was pregnant with Eric called, Terbutaline, which
was prescribed off-label as an—experimental at the time—anticontraction medication to delay preterm labor. They both mentioned
it in connection with the speech impairment, and
I found reports of that medication connected to
ADHD, depression, anxiety, autism, and cognitive
and neuropsychiatric disorders. I am mentioning this
because this is one of those invisible elements in Eric’s
life that no one had any control over. Eric’s speech
eventually improved—he now has the “gift of gab,” as
Lori lovingly puts it and any impairment was close to
nonexistent by the time he entered first grade. But the
anxiety and frustration attached to it lingered.
At about the same time, Eric’s family moved from a
modest home to a stately one, with a pool and a lake
for a backyard. The luxuries in that home were many,
a virtual mecca for a child. Eric and his older sister,
Randee, had everything a kid could ask for. But Eric
was living in the shadow of his sister. Randee excelled
in everything she did, and seemingly “could do no
wrong,” as Lori put it. Eric, on the other hand, had
trouble communicating. “He was living with a teacher,
a doctor, and sibling who was quite verbal, and he
couldn’t express himself as much as he probably would
have wanted to,” Lori explains. “It caused him to be frustrated.
And I think it took a lot out of him emotionally because he was
frustrated.”
Randee moved on to a private school in 6th grade, and Eric’s dad,
Joel, wanted Eric to have the same opportunity once he reached 6th
grade. In private school Eric was doing well and making friends,
but something switched. Joel was upset to learn from Eric’s math
teacher that he hadn’t been turning in his homework for weeks. “I
was paying all this money for private education, and I threatened to
pull him out because he didn’t seem to grasp the cost. I don’t think
he appreciated the benefits of private school as much as his sister
did,” as Joel explains this time in Eric’s life. He believed strongly
that, “if you don’t put out 100 percent effort—if you don’t work for
something, then you’re not going to get the benefits, and I’m going
to take the benefit away from you.” This theme would continue on
through college. Eric would be materially rewarded for goals that
were never necessarily his, and then punished for failing to meet
them. Inevitably, this cycle would perpetuate some serious but
intangible internal struggles.
I WOULD STAY UP UNTIL
DAWN, AND SLEEP UNTIL
DUSK. THAT WAS THE
“EDUCATION” MY FATHER
WAS FUNDING.
Along that vein, In college, Eric did well, and was rewarded with a
shiny, new Cadillac CTS for his good grades. But then Eric would
stop doing his homework, stop going to classes, and eventually
dropped them. The consequences? His dad started charging him for
the car, payments Eric couldn’t afford, so the car was taken away.
Eric went back and forth
between Michigan State
and Oakland University
for eight years, never
obtaining
a
degree.
This passive behavior
continued until coming
to Beit T’Shuvah.
Similar
to
Eric’s
upbringing, I grew up in
the nicest neighborhoods,
went to the best private
schools, and lived in
beautiful homes with
pools and beaches in
their backyards. I was
given whatever I wanted,
and wasn’t expected to
eric - 2011
work for any of it. I had
three credit cards at 16,
a different car every two
years until I was 27, and tutors at my house every day. Even with
S P R I N G 2 016
all those things, I was unhappy. I didn’t know how
to do anything for myself. I’ve always had crippling
anxiety, a crushing sense of inadequacy, and
innumerable fears. I would look around me and see
all of my peers from high school go on to Ivy League
schools, and then on to jobs as lawyers, executives,
doctors and politicians. But I couldn’t move. I failed
at every attempt at college—and not because I lacked
the intelligence; I just didn’t believe I had enough
of it. I was scared, and devoid of any confidence in
my ability to follow through with anything. Like
Eric, I would start school, do well, and then give
up, dropping my classes and never telling anyone. I
would spend my days, bong nestled in my lap, TV
glaring, and copious amounts of Taco Bell wrappers
spread out on the table before me. I would stay up
until dawn, and sleep until dusk. THAT was the
“education” my father was funding.
and didn’t tell his work.
He would leave early and
pretend to go to class only
to go home, smoke pot, eat
fast food and play video
games—anything he could
do to escape a painful reality
that he was a disappointment
to himself and his parents.
But one day, he realized he
couldn’t live like that any
longer. He came clean to his
parents and they thought it
would be best that he seek
treatment. So he made the
journey to Beit T’Shuvah.
Jenny and her dad , arthur sr . - 1996
WE WERE TWO EREMITIC
MILLENNIALS FROM OPPOSITE
ENDS OF THE COUNTRY, WHO
HAD EACH SPENT THEIR
LIVES HIDING FROM THE
WORLD, LIVING IN THEIR
HEADS INSTEAD OF LIVING
OUT THEIR LIVES.
But unlike Eric’s father, I was never punished, and nothing was
taken away from me. I was excused from my lies, coddled and
enabled. After my attempt at two city colleges, I moved back home
at 20 and began working for my father’s law office. I would do so for
the next seven years, until his death. It was then that I was punched
in the face with reality. I had no one to care for me, to make sure I
had a roof over my head, a car to get me around, or a job to give me
some semblance of purpose. For as long as I can remember, I had
been coasting aimlessly through life, and hiding from everything. I
smoked pot daily from 7th grade on; it eased my discomfort, and
it disconnected me from my world and all the players in it. It kept
me in a perpetual state of daydreaming; I was happiest when I was
fantasizing about who I wanted to be, what I wanted to look like,
and all the friends I wished I had. What actually went on: years, and
years of illicit behavior, hallucinogens, cocaine, ecstasy, and 15 years
of what brought me to my knees, and to Beit T’Shuvah—a serious
drinking problem that I managed to hide for years. I got high, I
got drunk, I entered one meaningless and toxic relationship after
another—all to escape feeling bad about myself, my choices, and
my life.
Eric and I both came into
treatment feeling like failures.
We both came in with a
tremendous amount of anxiety and self-hatred. We both came in
feeling alone. We were two eremitic millennials from opposite ends
of the country, who had each spent their lives hiding from the world,
living in their heads instead of living out their lives. Even when
love surrounds you, when you feel alone and like you don’t know
how to matter, the world is a bleak place; and motivation, drive and
ambition are nowhere in sight. Coming to Beit T’Shuvah, Eric and
I both were in that bleak place. With time, help, friendships and
guidance, we began to understand our great inner worth. Two years
later, the world is a much different place. We each have purpose
and drive, and we’re definitely not alone anymore. Today Eric has
a wealth of friendships, an incredible relationship with his parents,
who are proud of him, and he is a critical member of a team at
Creative Matters. As for me, I have a newfound self-love. It was in
part fostered by an uncovered passion for copywriting. Words are
my currency, and I am affluent in a way I never knew before. ■
Eric engaged in his own form of hiding and self-medicating. Before
he came to Beit T’Shuvah, he was supposed to be working part
time and going to school part time. But he stopped going school
S P R I N G 2 016
The following are alumni of the Beit T’Shuvah program that
we lost in 2015. Their spirit will forever live in our hearts.
Ryan Naghi
Robert Shapiro
Lindsey Todd
Jonathan Zibrak
S P R I N G 2 016
Ivy Growing Wild
Why Our Overachieving Children Are Under Great Duress
By Jenny Sherman
THERE IS A GROWING PROBLEM TAKING PLACE IN OUR CULTURE ONE THAT MANY OF US AREN’T AWARE OF,
OR ARE ONLY JUST BEGINNING TO TALK ABOUT.
I
t is an issue regarding our own kids. Without sugar-coating it,
they are depressed, anxious, addicted, and some even suicidal.
At the Elaine Breslow Institute for Addiction, Prevention and
Family Education (EBI) we are trying desperately to bring this
conversation to the community, so that we can save our children.
We are used to seeing people coming into Beit T’Shuvah who are
self-described “black sheep.” But often unnoticed are the kids who,
in the eyes of their parents, schools, and community, are the best
and brightest, the ones in pursuit of the Ivy Leagues. What we are
uncovering is that parents are an active (if not aggressive) part
of that pursuit, and that pursuit can be harmful to our children.
Harriet Rossetto, founder of Beit T’Shuvah and EBI suggests there
is a problem with “over pressuring, over parenting, overindulging,
helicoptering, and commodifying our children. Where parents’
self esteem has been enmeshed with kids accomplishments—the
results are kids who are suicidal, anxious, depressed, addicted.”
Rossetto has coined this permeating issue the “Trauma of Privilege,”
and she is not alone in this thinking. Rossetto and her like-minded
peers know that parents are driven by fear. They’re afraid there
won’t be enough spaces in the top 10 schools. They’re afraid there
aren’t enough jobs out there, that there isn’t enough money. They’re
afraid that their kids will fail to launch, only to wind up living at
home in the basement well into adulthood. They’re afraid their
children may (gasp!) settle for mediocrity. Fear-based parenting
has taken the place of love-based parenting, and something needs
to change. Harriet Rossetto believes that change begins now, and
its seed is being planted at EBI.
FEAR-BASED PARENTING HAS TAKEN THE
PLACE OF LOVE-BASED PARENTING, AND
SOMETHING NEEDS TO CHANGE.
This past year, EBI welcomed three authors, each at the forefront of
this discussion: Julie Lythcott-Haims, Dr. Lisa Miller, and William
Deresiewicz. Each author has firsthand experience in the world of
Ivy Leagues, and each has a great understanding of, and insight
into, the plight of young people on their quest for perfection, the
immense suffering taking place, and a parent’s role in stoking the
WHAT THEY FOUND: THOSE COMMUNITIES SHOWED RATES OF SUBSTANCE ABUSE,
ANXIETY AND DEPRESSION HIGHER THAN IN THE INNER CITY.
flames. Harriet and EBI are striving to get the word out—to as
many parents, educators, and community members as possible—
before it ends in catastrophe. We see now that it’s not just the black
sheep. The “success” stories are winding up just as troubled as the
“screw-ups.” These authors peel back the curtain to suggest why.
to want their child to succeed. “We gaze down at our precious little
ones with a promise to do all we can to help them make their way
into the long life that lies ahead. There is no amount of direction on
our part that will teach them to stand or walk before they are ready.
The common thread for Lythcott-Haims, Miller, and Deresiewicz
is the importance of allowing a child to walk their own path—not
that of another’s vicarious design. Former Dean of Freshmen at
Stanford University, and a mother of two teenagers, Julie LythcottHaims has put her years of research and findings into her book, How
to Raise an Adult: Break Free of the Overparenting Trap and Prepare
Your Kid for Success. Throughout her years at Stanford, LythcottHaims has seen “the love and fear behind our over involvement,”
as parents. She has “come to the conclusion that we define success
too narrowly. And what’s worse, this narrow, misguided definition
of success has led us to harm a generation of young adults—our
children.”
What deems a child a success, more often than not, are perfect
grades, endless extracurriculars and acceptance into a top tier
college. Dr. Lisa Miller, author of The Spiritual Child: The New
Science on Parenting for Health and Lifelong Thriving, explains that
that pressure to succeed begins at a very young age. Kids are valued
by the sum of their parts. “I’m an athlete, I’m good at math, I’m
popular or not.” But children need to be looked at and treated as
a whole person—“a being on earth, a soul, a being of love,” says
Miller. Through that lens, “everything might just look a lot different
than just the sum of [their] parts.”
Author Lisa Miller
But we are eager for their progress,” as
Lythcott-Haims so delicately describes
those first years of parenting. But
there is a point when eagerness turns
to desperation, and when exactly that
switch takes place is unique to every parent-child relationship.
Lythcott-Haims talks about shifts in parenting—important ones
that took place in the mid 1980s. An increased awareness of child
abductions in ‘83; the idea that kids don’t do enough school work,
influenced by the publication A Nation at Risk, also in ‘83;
the “self-esteem movement”; and lastly, the creation of the playdate in 1984. Unlike the childhoods of yesterday when our mothers
would tell us to go outside and play, and be home in time for dinner,
play-dates—meant to be a scheduling tool for mothers returning
to the workforce—did something different: “Once parents started
scheduling play, they then began observing play, which led to
involving themselves in play. Once a critical mass of parents began
being involved in kids’ play, leaving kids home alone became taboo,
as did allowing kids to play unsupervised,” says Lythcott-Haims.
Children would become increasingly dependent on a parent, and
less apt to making their own decisions and thinking for themselves.
The encouragement and embrace of spirituality plays a bigger part
in a child’s life than we realize. As a clinical psychologist and a
mother of three (two tweens and one teen), Dr. Miller has studied
the growth of children, both at home, and through her work at
Columbia University. In a study her colleague conducted over
the span of ten years, that colleague looked at a cohort of young
adults living in affluent suburbs of New York and San Francisco,
beginning at 6th grade all the way through high school, college and
out the other side. What they found: those communities showed
rates of substance abuse, anxiety and depression higher than in the
inner city. And within the child report, teacher report, and parent
report in the home, there was a great deficit of unconditional love.
That deficit shows up in more places than we may realize. Miller When parents are so preoccupied by, and deeply involved in every
describes a typical day in the life of a young person. When a parent move their child makes, the child begins to lose a sense of self.
picks up their child from school, do they say, “I am so happy to see They begin to believe that what they are doing, what goals they are
you, tell me what happened today?” Or do they ask, “How was the striving to achieve, and the direction in which they are headed is
math test, how was the soccer game?” Miller explains that, “loving, “right” just because that is what they have been told to be right by
good parents who wanted good things for their children—who the people who hold the most influence over them—their parents.
truly loved their children, had been subsumed in a rhythm of a “But there is something that’s a great deal more important than
culture of outcome, a rhythm of a culture of the commodification parental approval: learning to do without it. That’s what it means to
of the child.”
become an adult,” a point William Deresiewicz makes in
Of course, things started out far simpler. It is only natural for a parent his New York Times’ bestselling
A CULTURE OF OUTCOME, A RHYTHM OF A CULTURE
OF THE COMMODIFICATION OF THE CHILD.
S P R I N G 2 016
book, Excellent Sheep: The Miseducation of the American Elite and
the Way to a Meaningful Life. An award-winning essayist and critic,
Deresiewicz taught English at Yale for ten years, and at Columbia
for five. Deresiewicz so poignantly describes the importance of
following one’s own path, saying, “You won’t be able to recognize
the things you really care about until you have released your grip on
all the things that you’ve been taught to care about.”
Having been immersed in the Ivy League world for 15 years,
Deresiewicz has seen the harrowing pressure placed on kids. Not
only are parents primping their children for their idea of success
beginning at an early age, schools are instilling in their students
the same kind of fear of failure. Kids have tunnel vision—they are
racing ahead, with their eyes on a prize that may be of no value to
them. They work tirelessly to get perfect grades, honors, awards, to
make connections for their future, and for what? For whom? “The
system manufactures students who are smart and talented and
driven, yes, but also anxious, timid, and lost, with little intellectual
curiosity and a stunted sense of purpose: trapped in a bubble of
privilege, heading meekly in the same direction, great at what
they’re doing but with no idea why they’re doing it,” as Deresiewicz
describes this confused, sheep-like race to the finish.
Rossetto sees this kind of behavior constantly in her work with
addiction. The kind of pressure to perform, to be great—where
THERE IS SOMETHING THAT’S A GREAT DEAL
MORE IMPORTANT THAN PARENTAL APPROVAL:
LEARNING TO DO WITHOUT IT. THAT’S WHAT IT
MEANS TO BECOME AN ADULT.
Harriet Rossetto, Author Julie Lythcott-Haims and Doug Rosen
that greatness is defined by a child’s accomplishments,
instead of by their character, their individuality. “You
want to be building an internal scaffold which gives the
kids a sense of meaning and purpose, and why they’re
doing this, says Rossetto. “Because if it’s only the
grades, then when they finish they have no idea what
they should do next. We have to build within them a
sense of connection with something greater than their performance
S P R I N G 2 016
results.” The Elaine Breslow Institute and Beit T’Shuvah’s Partners
in
Prevention
Program
have workshops, immersion
programs, and individual/
family programs designed to
crack open this deeply flawed
system. EBI has been created
to help parents, educators, and
Author William Deresiewicz
community members redefine
success for our children. At a
grassroots level, we are making an
impact.
Luckily, we are not alone in our concern for our youth. Changes
are being made at the collegiate level—particularly, changes to the
college admissions processes. A report titled “Turning the Tide,”
primarily the work of Harvard Graduate School of Education, with
contributions and endorsements from presidents and deans of
admissions at many elite institutions of higher learning, maps out
what is wrong with the admissions process, and makes suggestions
on how to mitigate the way in which our children are being poorly
served by the status quo. A recent New York Times article by
Frank Bruni, titled “Rethinking College Admissions” sheds light
on Turning the Tide. “Colleges are becoming more conscious of
their roles—too frequently neglected—in social mobility. They’re
recognizing how many admissions measures favor students from
affluent families,” says Bruni, adding, “They’re realizing that many
kids admitted into top schools are emotional wrecks or slavish
adherents to soulless scripts that forbid the exploration of genuine
passions. And they’re acknowledging the extent to which the
admissions process has contributed to this.” The fact that Harvard—
the apex of elite institutions of higher learning in this
country—is able to see that the issue is great enough to
do something about, well, that gives us great strength
and solidarity in our own movement for change.
We hope to bring truth back to an old cliche of helping
our children to follow their dreams. Not the dreams we
manufacture for them; the dreams they need to learn
to weave for themselves. Only then can we be true
ambassadors to the whole, spiritual child. ■
RECOMMENDED BOOKS
There is a growing body of literature that supports the concerns we have for our children, as detailed in
this issue. Help us change the culture of parenting from one that’s fear based to one that’s love based.
The only way to see change is to educate ourselves on how to make it happen.
THE GIFT OF FAILURE
Jessica Lahey
TEACH YOUR CHILDREN WELL
Madeline Levine, Ph.D.
SLOUCHING TOWARD ADULTHOOD
THE PRICE OF PRIVILEGE
HOW TO RAISE AN ADULT
Julie Lythcott-Haims
THE SPIRITUAL CHILD
Lisa Miller, Ph.D.
THE BLESSING OF A SKINNED KNEE
Wendy Mogel, Ph.D.
THE BLESSING OF A B MINUS
Wendy Mogel, Ph.D.
HOW CHILDREN SUCCEED
Paul Tough
Your book purchases can benefit Beit T’Shuvah! Please consider buying them through Amazon Smile
by assigning Beit T’Shuvah as your choice charity at smile.amazon.com.
S P R I N G 2 016
AN EXTENDED CARE
EXCURSION
THE WILDLIFE WAYSTATION
By Samantha Henschel
THE BARONESS OF WILDLIFE
T
he year was 1976 and Martine Collette was at a neighborhood
bar in Kagel Canyon. She overheard two cowboys talking
about how they came across some beautiful acreage while riding
around the hills. Her ears perked up, as she was looking for new
property for herself—and 50 exotic animals. The neighbors of
her Lakeview Terrace home had been getting uncomfortable
with how the number of animals seemed to be multiplying in her
backyard; they were particularly concerned about the monkeys
and mountain lions. So, it became Martine’s goal to find land on
which she could house them all.
Just over a month later, after some negotiating, the 162 acres were
hers. Thus Wildlife Waystation was born. Since its inception,
Wildlife Waystation has housed over 78,000 animals. It started
S P R I N G 2 016
out mostly with natural California wildlife; a baby bear that fell
out of a tree, or a deer, raccoon, or opossum that got hit by a car.
Then, it became a tiger or two from Ireland, who ate hamburger
meat until a proper diet could be constructed.
Eventually, they started getting calls more frequently and of a
greater magnitude: a facility had closed down in Florida and
there was nowhere to put the animals. Martine took them in.
A primate study had concluded at New York University and 50
chimpanzees and other primates would go back into biomedical
research or be euthanized. Martine took them in. The state of
Idaho called, asking them to house 27 large cats. Of course,
Martine took them in. And until Idaho released full ownership,
Wildlife Waystation could not implement birth control, so 27
In order to have
a good, sober
life, we have to
learn to take on
roles we may
find incredibly
uncomfortable,
ones we aren’t
prepared to
take on.
large cats turned into just under 60 in a two and
a half year period.
Whether Martine planned to get into politics
or not, her innate concern for these animals
forced her to evolve into the essential diplomat
she is now. “I had to,” she says. Her spirit
of resilience—born of having to deal with
antagonistic political forces—shaped her into
the stateswoman she embodies today.
In order to overcome these problems, Martine
had to develop a set of skills that were not
inherent for her. But she learned to be politically
savvy and strategic because that was what was
required for the Wildlife Waystation to stay
alive. She has become a fearless businesswoman,
as well; the kind of businesswoman who raises
$2.7 million a year for the sake of the animals.
I see a clear parallel between the issues she
faced—having to become someone she hadn’t
planned on becoming—and what we, people in
sobriety, take on in giving up our addictions.
In order to have a good, sober life, we have to
learn to take on roles we may find incredibly
uncomfortable, ones we aren’t prepared to take
on. We must learn to adapt, the way Martine
has, and pay the price the world is asking in
order for us to walk the path we were destined
for.
RESCUES MEET RESCUES
As a long-time friend of Martine’s, Kelly
Mulligan, Work Therapy Program Director and
Director of the Extended Care Program, has
organized a trip for Beit T’Shuvah to go to the
Angeles National Forest animal refuge. The 20
of us from the Extended Care Program who got
the golden ticket arrive on a particularly warm
September afternoon. After driving through a
windy canyon road, we come to the sign that
reads “Wildlife Waystation Entrance.”
The vans stop near a large, wrought-iron gate.
As I step out of the vehicle, the air is buzzing
and I can feel activity all around me, but the
only thing I can see so far are six red-tailed
hawks flying above the property. I have a strange
feeling we are about to embark into Jurassic
Park. We all sit in excitement and curiosity as
we wait for passage.
A friendly man with a white and gray peppered
beard finally appears. He has a walkie-talkie on
his hip, and a large ring around his belt, thick
with different keys. His name is Bob Friend and
he has been a volunteer at Wildlife Waystation
for 19 years.
He leads us up some steps to an area shaded by
low-hanging trees and umbrellas. The Martine
who greets us at the gazebo of her private
residence is an exceptional host. Waiting for
us with a bucket of cold drinks, she is warm,
accessible, and attentive. But I know that
Martine Colette is first and foremost a warrior:
as the founder and director of the Wildlife
Waystation, she is fierce about the protection of
the animals she has saved.
We are split into two groups as the tours begin.
Bob leads my group to the beginning of a trail.
He reminds us not get closer than three feet;
because of my childlike wonder, I will have to
remind myself of this frequently.
Reaching the mouth of the aviary, a family of
peacocks walks around in the open, about five
feet in front of me. The female, a peahen, is
brown and tan and has a similarly colored baby,
the size of a duckling, scurrying around beneath
her. The mother digs in the dirt with her sharp,
metatarsal spur, showing her baby how to hunt
for insects and other edible dirt dwellers.
When we come to the parrots, they twist
themselves around to look at us, with their
heads cocked or upside down, observing us
from different angles. They “speak” discernable
English words as we pass. Over the ear-piercing
screeches of the fowl, Bob tells us that Macaws
test at a four- or five-year-old level. He also
tells us that their feathers are, in fact, not the
bright colors they appear to our eyes; the array
of iridescent hues we see are an illusion created
by the sun.
As we pass the alligators, they slink just below
the water’s surface so that only their eyes are
visible. We cross a bridge that leads to another
gate. Bob unlocks it and it leads to yet another
gate. All of a sudden, the atmosphere feels
different again; a palpable buoyancy hovers
in the air. And then I hear it—a roar. I feel it
reverberate through the ground, up my spine
and into the back of my neck. I am speechless,
entranced, in awe. And I haven’t even seen the
animal the bellowing belongs to yet.
The first cat enclosure we come to is where the
servals reside. Similar in markings to leopards,
they are about 35 pounds. Aside from their
distinct, large ears, they have proportionally
long legs, like a cheetah. Sitting upright, they
look at us rather indifferently.
To my left is a calm and interested black
panther. He puts his head low when we are in
front of his cage, as if to listen. His paws look
heavy and are the size of a big baseball mitt. I
can tell he is old and rather docile. It seems he
is using his hearing to investigate us; from the
cloudy, bluish-grey of his eyes, I assume he is
blind.
I hear a low growl above me and turn my
attention to the snarling, sleek black jaguar
sitting in the top of his two-story enclosure
to my right. It is clear we are not welcome.
An opportunistic, stalk-and-ambush predator,
the jaguar has the strongest jaws of any cat
belonging to the Family Felidae; they are feral
and ferocious creatures. I look away out of
respect and move on.
The last cage in this section belongs to the
leopard. She watches us from afar. When most
of the group leaves to continue to the next area
of the refuge, a few of us linger to look at her.
She leaps up and sprints towards the front of
the cage. Then she rubs her head and body
along side it, playful and sweet. In a matter
of seconds, I feel curiosity, fear, respect, and
adoration. “Leopards are the hardest cat to
handle,” Bob explains. “They’re unpredictable.”
Then, we come to the first enclosure of lions.
Bob tells us that in the wild, lions live to be
about eight years of age. Here, they live to be
over 20 years old. Two females lay on either side
of one huge male. The females barely move, and
the male watches us without changing position.
I feel a gentle tap on my shoulder as one of the
volunteers lets me know it is time to move on.
I look around and everyone else is far ahead of
me. I have no idea how long I’ve been standing
there for.
Bob is in front of
a cage, running
his fingers along
the wire to make
noise and calling
out “Kengazil!” I
half expect a dog to
appear. A giant lion
comes
bounding
out, clearly pleased
to see his friend.
“He doesn’t know
he is a lion,” Bob
laughs.
Kengazil rubs his body against the relatively
thin fence, lovingly. Bob turns his back to
him while he tells us the lion’s story, and I am
surprised he leaves only a few inches between
himself and the cage. The lion lies down and
I crouch so that we are eye level. I feel such a
strong spirit behind those eyes. Again, I am left
behind as Bob leads the group to the “grouchy”
and disinterested Liger.
Next, we come to the mountain lions, who
are strikingly beautiful. They have big, lightcolored, almond-shaped eyes that watch us
attentively. Their heads are huge; face structures
angled and defined; honey- and barley-colored
fur covering solid bodies; tails long and thick.
They pant heavily in the heat and follow us in a
hungry way as we pass them.
In a matter of
seconds, I feel
curiosity, fear,
respect, and
Then Bob leads us down a thin, dirt trail, where adoration.
the fence begins to stretch and close overhead.
There is a rumbling thunder of noise, and as
we get closer, the sound of the chimps becomes
deafening. We come to an opening where about
30 chimpanzees are visible around us. The scene
is sheer chaos. They are riotous and rowdy,
aggressively banging on their enclosures. The
booming is what I imagine it would sound like
to be on a rollercoaster during an earthquake.
They curl their lips, spitting water at us from a
distance of over twenty feet. They huff and puff,
pounding their chests and the floor with their
brutish arms, making sure we know exactly
who’s in charge. As we walk away, the chimps
give one last heavy, anarchic hoorah.
“Leopards are
the hardest cat
to handle,” Bob
explains.
“They’re
unpredictable.”
We traverse another set of tall, rusted, iron gates
and up a steep, dirt road. We come upon what
is referred to at the refuge as “Upper Idaho.”
Divided between “Upper” and “Lower Idaho”
are the majority of the lions and tigers. At
“Upper Idaho” there is a long enclosure with
seven lionesses, and just beyond that—the
tigers.
With captivating colors and calm magnificence,
the tigers are completely
enchanting. Tall in figure
and commanding in
presence, their bodies arch,
as though their spines are
longer than their frames.
The largest living cat,
tigers can get up to 860
pounds. Responsive to
our presence, they come
close to us, comfortable
meeting our gaze.
My heart breaks for this
impressive species: they
are severely endangered.
100 years ago there were close to 100,000 tigers
in the wild. Now, there are less than 4,000. By
the time my children are grown, they will be
extinct; to my grandchildren, tigers will only
live in stories. This deeply devastating truth
clouds my heart as I saunter back down the hill
behind the group.
We are led through another gate and Bob locks
it behind us. Past the rabbits and foxes, we cross a narrow bridge with
water to the left. Multitudes of waterfowl swim and strut, peacefully
cohabitating. Above the crossing, I see a big piece of wood with
Shakespeare’s words etched into the grain, “Nature teaches beasts to
know their friends.”
We have come full-circle, back to the very first bridge we crossed. I
feel changed since the first time I was at this bridge, merely an hour
ago. I am different, although I can’t quite articulate how. Perhaps that
is the effect the wild has on a person.
PRIDE
As the sun goes down, we head back to the gazebo for a home-cooked
meal. Twinkling lights strung in the trees create a warm glow. Stars
come out and the night comes alive. A cacophony of sound grows:
the howling of the wolves, the rumble of the chimps, the bay of the
cats, the chatter of the birds. And now, the delicate sound of crickets
accompanies the untamed symphony under the moonlight.
We sit at round tables and fill ourselves with savory food. Martine
bustles around, socializing with every one of us, making sure we have
everything we need. With a mug of coffee in her hand, she settles in
a chair next to me. She has seen me with my leather notebook and
tape recorder. “What can I do for you, little one?” she asks me. I have
so many things I want to ask her that I’m not sure where to start.
So I ask about the beginning: I want to know about the very first
animal Martine took in. She tells me it all began with just one baby
mountain lion named Pride.
Martine met Pride in 1965, when she arrived in the United States
from France. She was married to an American writer, and they were
at Pan Pacific Auditorium, the premiere location for indoor public
events at the time.
“There was a gentleman advertising outdoor life for Idaho, and in a
chicken-wire crate he had a 10-month-old mountain lion. When I
came by again later and it was still sitting in that small crate, I said to
the man, ‘Somebody should take this baby out. I’ll take him out.’”
She stayed with the cat the rest of the day. Later that evening, she told
the man, “If you can’t take better care of that baby, I’ll buy him from
you.” When the show closed, the man sold the young mountain lion
to Martine’s then-husband.
She then tells me about her childhood. French born, Martine
inherited her love for the wild from her father. He was a naturalist
and a Belgium diplomat. She joyously accompanied him everywhere.
“I was the son he never had,” she says. “I had a wonderful life. But
my mother didn’t much care for the way I was; she wanted a sweet,
pretty, dainty girl. So I was my father’s child. It took my mother
about 50 years, but she’s ok with it now,” she laughs.
She traveled with her family all over the world and was exposed
to the mistreatment of wild animals at the hunting and trapping
camps in certain countries. “As soon as the village people realized I
liked animals, everyone began bringing their offerings to us,” recalls
Martine. “Some wanted assistance with ill animals and others just
wanted to give me a gift. Back in those days we had no veterinarians
and very little in the way of medicine to help sick animals. Our basics
were penicillin, iodine, tinctures of violet, sulfur powders and goat’s
milk. If these did not work, the animals died. I got very proficient
at diagnosing basic situations and giving treatment. There’s nothing
quite like the feeling you get after helping a sick, defenseless animal.
Even though they’re deadly predators, there is a real innocence about
them.”
Her favorite part about what she has created is dealing with the
animals; all her favorite memories are animal related. “When you get
to kiss a tiger first thing in the morning, you know it’s going to be a
good day. It’s pure magic,” she says with light in her eyes.
“But this is a lot of hard work,” she says, in the French accent that still
drifts in and out of her speech. “There is not an easy day. Sometimes,
when a lot of money comes in, it’s easier—the hardest part is to get
money.” What are the rewards? She says, “I am raising a baby tiger
right now. Where do you go from there?” She smiles. “I raised a
baby bear last year. It’s all a privilege. I got to raise a lot of baby
chimpanzees—that’s such an opportunity, such an amazing thing,”
What she says next separates her from many who have a love for
animals but do them a great disservice by anthropomorphizing them.
“But your responsibility is to raise them to be chimpanzees—not your
pet, not your child—you have to raise them to be chimpanzees. The
challenges are huge.” She asks, “What else can I tell you, pumpkin?”
In terms of her future, and that of the Wildlife Waystation, she says,
“I haven’t gotten old enough to think about what happens when I’m
not here. Right now, I have a book to write that needs to be done.”
She plans to retire at the 40th anniversary of Wildlife Waystation,
which is in 2016. She explains that a milestone like that is a favorable
time to make some changes. “It’s a good year to retire,” she says. All
that means is someone else will be in charge of fundraising, essentially
making sure this place has what it needs to continue operating. The
Latin music that was in the background has stopped and she excuses
herself. “I have to go put some music on,” the hostess says. And with
that, our interview is over. As she walks away, I picture her as she has
been described to me from people who knew her long ago: with a
bikini, boots and cowboy hat, a pistol at her hip.
Around 10 o’clock, we start gathering to leave. Martine gives each of
us a hug and thanks us for coming. “Best of luck to you, little one,”
she says to me.
We pile into the vans, intoxicated by what we have experienced.
Winding down the canyons, a warm breeze blows onto our faces as
we leave the sounds and smells of the wild behind us, and we talk
about what it all meant. The raw power and beauty of the animals
was clearly embraced by us all. But I think Kelly intended for us to
experience something else, too: Martine—a woman whose essence
is pride; a woman who, through sheer force of will and character,
manifested her dream. I imagine he wanted us to see what it looks
like to have a purpose, and to know it with every fiber of your being.
And to see a person committed to working tirelessly to make the
world a better place, whose vision fuels her forward every day, who
experiences her work as inspiration – and so, it is not “work” at all. ■
S P R I N G 2 016
RUNNING 4 RECOVERY
2 0 1 6 l a m a r at h o n
The 2016 L.A. Marathon landed on Valentine's Day this year, and what better day
is there to show your love for our community? Our Running4Recovery Team of 65
runners—20 of them current residents—with the support of their sponsors, raised
$140,000 for recovery at Beit T'Shuvah! Go Team!
To inquire about joining or sponsoring our team, please contact Nicole Goodman at [email protected].
CIRCLE OF MAJESTY
8
TH
ANNUAL
LUNCHEON
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5
6
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S P R I N G 2 016
Photos by Laurel Johnson
This luncheon is a wonderful annual celebration with the group of women who lovingly support Beit T’Shuvah!
A huge thank you to the ever-generous Lisa Greer who hosted this year’s event at her beautiful Beverly Hills home.
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Pictured from left to right:
1.
2.
3.
4.
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S P R I N G 2 016
Elaine Caplow & Friend
Friend, Annette Shapiro & Lisa Greer
Nace Neubauer & Avia Rosen
Annette Shapiro, Lois Bloom, Ronnie Stabler, Meryl Kern, Dina Leeds, Harriet Rossetto
5. Sharon Glaser & Jean Friedman
6. Dina Leeds addresses the audience
7. Ronnie Stabler addresses the audience
8. Harriet Rossetto addresses the audience
9. Baila Drucker & Harriet Rossetto
10. Meryl Kern & her daughter Lindsey Montoya
11. Ronnie Stabler & her daugher Sari Ross
12. Barbara Friedman & Avia Rosen
13. Andrea Sossin-Bergman & Lisa Greer
14. Heidi Monkarsh, Stacy Scharf & Heidi Bendetson
BY ADAM SIEGEL
O
f the many spiritual values that converge and emanate from
Beit T’Shuvah, one is the significance that both Alcoholics
Anonymous and Judaism place on service and action. Over
and over, A.A. emphasizes the benefits that service activities have on
both the giver and receiver. Integrating this wisdom with the Jewish
tradition’s directive to care for the widow, the orphan, and the poor,
we have developed a wide variety of programs and partnerships to
enable our residents and community members to engage in acts of
chesed (loving kindness) and seek out tzedek (justice). Over the past
year, our community has dramatically expanded our social justice and
community service endeavors. These activities have included such
things as advocating for reforms in our criminal justice system, as
well as providing home-cooked meals to those living on the streets of
our city. The Beit T’Shuvah community is well aware of the dynamic
relationship between personal healing and societal repair. To this
end, all of our service and justice programs are grounded with a time
dedicated for reflection and study. Additionally, years of experience
have taught us that continual personal growth and positive change
are best internalized while experienced within the fellowship of a
spiritual community.
In advocating for change in the criminal justice system, Beit T’Shuvah
has been a proud and featured member of several city-wide coalitions
that are working on both the state and local levels. We know from
real-life experience, both individually and institutionally, that helping
people grow into contributing members of society comes through
rehabilitation and reform, rather than strictly punitive measures.
We voiced this important message in several public forums about
the passage and implementation of CA State Proposition 47. The
passage of this proposition has led to the re-classification of a dozen
low-level felonies to misdemeanor convictions. Scarlet Barber, a Beit
T’Shuvah resident shared about her volunteer work at a Prop. 47 reclassification clinic, “…the clinic …was an amazing cause to volunteer
for because it helped others find hope for the future, like I’ve found at
Beit T’Shuvah. Engaging and talking to these individuals, who want
nothing more to succeed in finding happiness, was truly enchanting.
I believe that if you love something, you should give it away and give
back by helping others to achieve their dreams.”
The Beit T’Shuvah community is well aware of the dynamic
relationship between personal healing and societal repair. To this
end, all of our service and justice programs are grounded with a time
dedicated for reflection and study. Additionally, years of experience
have taught us that continual personal growth and positive change
are best internalized while experienced within the fellowship of a
spiritual community.
In advocating for change in the criminal justice system, Beit T’Shuvah
has been a proud and featured member of several city-wide coalitions
that are working on both the state and local levels. We know from
real-life experience, both individually and institutionally, that helping
people grow into contributing members of society comes through
rehabilitation and reform, rather than strictly punitive measures.
We voiced this important message in several public forums about
the passage and implementation of CA State Proposition 47. The
passage of this proposition has led to the re-classification of a dozen
S P R I N G 2 016
IF THE WORLD IS TO CHANGE THR OUGH OUR EXISTENCE, THEN WE MUST LIVE OUR LIVES TO
CHANGE THE WORLD...I FEEL LIKE SPEAKING BEFORE THE COUNCIL WAS ONE SMALL STEP FOR
ME, BUT ONE GIANT LEAP FOR ADDICTS AND EX- CONS ACR OSS THE BOARD.
”
”
low-level felonies to misdemeanor convictions. Scarlet Barber, a Beit
T’Shuvah resident shared about her volunteer work at a Prop. 47 reclassification clinic, “…the clinic …was an amazing cause to volunteer
for because it helped others find hope for the future, like I’ve found at
Beit T’Shuvah. Engaging and talking to these individuals, who want
nothing more to succeed in finding happiness, was truly enchanting.
I believe that if you love something, you should give it away and give
back by helping others to achieve their dreams.”
battled for a partnership with growers and retailers to improve
working conditions for farm laborers across the United States. The
film features Beit T’Shuvah Board Member, Jon Esformes, and our
panel discussion included Jon, alongside with leaders of the Coalition
of Immokalee Workers (C.I.W.). In April of 2015, we had our largest
contingent of participants in Jewish World Watch’s “Walk Against
Genocide.” Jewish World Watch was co-founded by Janice KaminerReznik, a long-standing Beit T’Shuvah board member.
On the city government level, Beit T’Shuvah has worked alongside
our coalition partners at LA VOICE, Bend the Arc, and Homeboy
Industries, on the Fair Chance/Ban-the-Box initiative. This campaign
is focused on prohibiting private employers from asking about felony
convictions during the early stages of the job-hiring process. Several
times, Beit T’Shuvah residents and alumni gave public testimonials
in front of sub-committees of the L.A. City Council. Brian Silver, a
Beit T’Shuvah resident, summed up his involvement by sharing: “I
came to Beit T’Shuvah with an attitude of ‘if the world is to change
through our existence, then we must live our lives to change the
world,’” adding, “I was invited…to be a part of something great,
something greater than just going to work for myself. I had a chance
to speak on behalf of other addicts and criminals to change the
world…I feel like speaking before the council was one small step for
me, but one giant leap for addicts and ex-cons across the board.” We
are hoping our efforts will inspire the LA City Council to amend
these laws in by the middle of 2016.
Our community service activities have focused on our tradition’s
imperative to recognize and dignify the holy soul residing within
all of us. Over the past year, as homelessness has become a more
prominent local issue, our community responded by initiating a
bi-monthly “Feeding the Hungry” program, where residents, staff,
alumni, family, board and congregation members came together
to prepare and distribute over 1,500 meals to individuals living on
the streets of Venice, Santa Monica, and West Los Angeles. Beit
T’Shuvah resident Brandy Estes described her involvement by saying,
“I’m familiar with the lack of hope and spiritual emptiness that comes
from living on the street. I found it very powerful to be able to
share some of the hope that I’ve found while at Beit T’Shuvah with
the folks I encountered during the event.” Through this program,
our community members have become more connected with their
capacity to uplift and elevate some of the neediest individuals across
our city.
Based on Beit T’Shuvah’s continuing commitment for economic
justice and human rights, we are honored to be partners with two
nationally recognized organizations who are on the forefront of
advocating for meaningful and substantive society change. In
February 2015, we hosted a screening and panel discussion of FOOD
CHAIN$, a film detailing how a group of Florida farmworkers
Often times, the bonds that initially bring our community together
are based on our individual brokenness, but as many of us have
learned, these bonds are quickly forged and eventually strengthened
by working together; to share ourselves, our stories, and our holiness
with the world. ■
IF YOU WANT TO ELEVATE SOMEONE’S DAY OR HELP TO BRING REAL CHANGE TO OUR WORLD,
CONTACT CHAPL AIN ADAM SIEGEL TO GET INVOLVED: ASIEGEL@BEIT TSHUVAH.ORG
S P R I N G 2 016
HIGH HOLIDAYS
The High Holidays are a celebration of change. At Beit T’Shuvah, we celebrate the capacity
for each of us to change every day, and this commitment enables our High Holiday services
to be expansive, rich and utterly unlike any other services you’ve seen. We harness the power
of our awe-inspiring community of 1,000+ souls (including our tots!) through prayer,
music (original, and traditional cantorial and choral), and opportunities for many different
members of the community to share their own thoughts and journeys.
James Fuchs & Laura Bagish
S P R I N G 2 016
Shai blows the shofar
S P R I N G 2 016
ALL THE WORLD
IS A STAGE
BY SCARLET BARBER
U
sing addictive substances to escape from feelings of
despondency may work for a while, but when entering
recovery, the inability to express that bleakness remains. So,
how does an addict or alcoholic channel those indescribable feelings
into a constructive outlet? In this search, what often emerges is the
unveiling of a creative side previously suppressed by addiction, and a
new way to express the inexpressible. In line with the intrinsic nature of
Beit T’Shuvah, the Theater Program came into fruition from a passion
of one of its very own residents. This zealous resident, Tricia Nykin,
now Theater Program Director of the Creative Arts Department,
came into the house longing to reconnect with her love
of theater. Expressing extreme interest in helping fellow
residents to revive their own creativity, Tricia inquired about
starting an improv group, and James Fuchs, the Creative Arts
Director, synchronously wanted to start a Theater Program at
Beit T’Shuvah. Thus, a year later, the Theater Program was
born. This department has given residents a remarkable
opportunity to get in touch with their creative side.
Hosting several events a year, and initiating groups to help
residents hone their artistry, the Theater Program epitomizes
the therapeutic value of creative expression, while emphasizing the
importance of altruism in recovery.
For the past nine years, Beit T’Shuvah’s very own musical,
Freedom Song, has been performed across the country at
different synagogues, schools, and other institutions, dispelling
the stigma of addiction that plagues so many families. Stage left,
there is a Jewish family having dinner over Seder on Passover
who has disowned their drug-addicted daughter. At stage right,
an Alcoholics Anonymous meeting is taking place. Cast members
are not only eradicating the societal shame that stains the truth of
addiction, they are also performing their own personal truths by
rewriting the original monologues to share their stories.
Far and wide, the reception of Freedom Song has been
remarkably impactful, as audience members raise their hands
and exclaim in tears how this has been their very own story, or
story of another family member battling addiction. By relieving
audience members of their preconceived notions of addiction,
the performance removes them of a tremendous amount of
false guilt and shame. There is this interesting cycle that takes
place, where someone sees Freedom Song, and the very next day,
reaches out for help, but not just from any treatment center, they
want help from Beit T’Shuvah. And while in treatment at Beit
T’Shuvah, some of those very same people decide that they want
to be involved in Freedom Song themselves. Seeing the musical
Freedom Song becomes this catalytic event that inspires these
residents to change their lives, and in effect, the lives of many
others.
And Freedom Song is just the beginning. In 2015, the Theater
Program partnered with Menemsha Films to hold a curated yearlong series showcasing six films, each of which embodies altruistic
motifs such as gratitude, acceptance, and humility. By inviting
residents to perform before the screening of each film, the series
combines elements of artistic expression and performance,
with important topics relevant to our community and society
as a whole. Resident performances parallel the subject matter of
the film and range anywhere from a stand-up comedy routine or a
skit, to a poetry reading, or guitar performance. “I think that it can be
very inherently therapeutic, because when you share your art, you are
sharing a piece of your soul,” Tricia explains, “I think at the end of
the day, that’s what is so important about this film series. We’re all
experiencing something beautiful together.” One of these films,
titled Nicky’s Family, was shown in October of last year, and it
is an incredible true-story of British humanitarian, Sir Nicholas
Winton. This awe-inspiring man took it upon himself to save 669
Czech and Slavic children right before the outbreak of WWII,
yet never told anyone. When his magnanimous and life-saving
acts became public knowledge years later, it propagated more
acts of advocacy—inspiring the children and grandchildren of
those who he saved to begin their own charities. The theme of
Nicky’s Family in the Menemsha Films series speaks to the true
essence of integrity, a vital component to recovery—to do the
right thing, despite all odds, and not expect any recognition
other than that of one’s self.
An especially notable and moving event presented by the Theatre
Arts Program in December of 2015 was the screening of Autism:
The Musical, a documentary on five of the children from The
S P R I N G 2 016
''I WA S N E V E R S O P R O U D O F T H E M A S I WA S T H AT N I G H T.
I T H I N K T H E Y U N D E R S TO O D T H E S T R U G G L E O F T H E
AU T I S T I C K I D S A N D T H E S T R U G G L E O F T H E I R PA R E N T S.''
Miracle Project. A program devoted to empowering individuals
with autism and other disabilities, The Miracle Project
encourages kids to channel their struggles with adversity, and
illustrate themselves throug inclusive theater and expressive
arts programs. Autism: The Musical, filmed over the course
of six months in Los Angeles, chronicles the lives of five autisticspectrum children and their parents, as the kids learn to socialize and
communicate with each other while they write an original screenplay
and rehearse for the production. The screening of this aweinspiring documentary led Beit T’Shuvah residents and staff members
to get involved by volunteering with The Miracle Project.
Harriett Rossetto, Founder of Beit T’Shuvah, commented on the
reception of the film, saying, “I think the residents were actually
engaged in the evening, I was never so proud of them as I was that
night. I think they understood the struggle of the autistic kids and the
struggle of their parents. And they were very kind and connected and
a lot of them wanted to volunteer.” Addicts and alcoholics know
the despondent feeling of marginalization, similar to kids with
disabilities. Fighting addiction causes many to have an endless
well of compassion for others who are also trying to make a space
for themselves in this world, despite all odds. It is a goal of the
S P R I N G 2 016
Theatre Program to hold a space for the kids from The Miracle
Project to host their own improv group at Beit T’Shuvah, along
with the residents. The Theater Program builds a platform for
the residents to get involved and in touch with both their
creative and philanthropic endeavors.
This year, Beit T’Shuvah’s Theater Program is hosting some very
exciting events that are not to be missed! In June 2016, Jewish
Women’s Theater will be performing The Art of Forgiveness, a
compilation of performances in the form of stories, plays, and
poems encompassing the significant, and at times painful act
of forgiveness. Some other highlights are resident-performed
comedy shows every few months, as well as an in-house play
later this year. Commenting on the importance of these events,
Tricia avidly says, “We’re very fortunate to have incredibly
artistic, creative, and talented people here. And if you can tap
into what that creative side is, and what their creative expression
needs to be, then they can just flourish and grow and it’s really
beautiful to watch.” So grab a front row seat. ■
24 t h A N N UA L
We celebrated openness, authenticity, and honesty
as we stepped out of the shadows and into the light
at the 24th Annual Beit T'Shuvah Gala, honoring
Andy Besser and Robert Landes.
Honoree Andy Besser & his wife Joannie
Janice Black (center) & Friends
Rabbi Mark Borovitz, Harriet Rossetto,
Board Chairman Dr. Bill Resnick & Board President Annette Shapiro
Landes Family & Andy Besser
Warren Breslow (left) & Friends
Honorees Andy Besser & Robert Landes
Left to right: Lise Applebaum, Meryl Kern, Avia Rosen,
Rabbi Mark Borovitz, Harriet Rossetto, Deb Fried, Helene Eisenberg
Rabbi Mark Borovitz & Harriet Rossetto
Honoree Robert Landes & Christina
Kretschmer
Cantor Shira Fox
Natasha McCool
Rabbi Mark Borovitz. Russell Kern & Harriet Rossetto
Laura Bagish
James Fuchs
Dr. Robert Besser
Andy Besser (left), wife Joannie (far right),
& Friends
Gala Co-Chairs Lise Applebaum &
Meryl Kern. (Not pictured: Janice
Kamenir-Reznik)
Deb Fried, Cheryl Wolf, Nicole Goodman, Avia Rosen,
Amy Abrams, & Barbara Friedman
THA N K YOU, A N D SEE YO U AT N EX T YEA R’S GA L A !
GETTING TO KNOW THE BEIT T’SHUVAH
S I ST E R H OOD
BY SCARLET BARBER
SISTERHOOD
TEMPLE BEIT T’SHUVAH
U
pon entering the Latkes and Lattes event held last December,
a benevolent ambiance flowed through the Sanctuary. It
wasn’t only the freshly-made latkes and hot lattes radiating
warmth throughout the room; beaming smiles and affectionate hugs
could be seen everywhere. This fundraising event, put together by
the Beit T’Shuvah Sisterhood, gallantly demonstrates their mission
to give back to the community and residents.
Women passionate about helping Beit T’Shuvah residents in their
recovery—that is the altruistic pursuit of the Congregation Beit
T’Shuvah Sisterhood. Founded in 2009 by Shelly Balloon, the
Sisterhood consists of 100 women who compassionately assist the
community in any way they can. As many of the women have had
family come through the house, they are passionate about aiding
the metamorphoses of the residents. The Sisterhood executes their
mission by arranging several fundraising events a year, promoting
temple membership, and hosting a Meet and Greet every Friday
night at services to give back to the Beit T’Shuvah residents and
community as a whole.
Co-presidents of the Beit T’Shuvah Sisterhood Cathy Galper and Pat
Lyon, believe in the extraordinary program Beit T’Shuvah provides.
They recognize the efficacy in the integrated program of spirituality
with addiction treatment in order to help addicts find their way
in recovery. Cathy knows this battle all too well; her brother went
through the house from 2007 to 2009, and they are both recovering
addicts. Cathy explains, “I want to give back to this place because
they help those that are in recovery from addiction, and to me, it’s
such an amazing thing to see people from what they were to what
they are now. It gives me hope, and it makes me feel good to be here
and be a part of it.” Being involved in the Sisterhood keeps Cathy
grounded. She feels at home in the Beit T’Shuvah community, and
her devotion to this cause sustains her own recovery.
Friends and companions sharing a common goal, the Sisterhood
gathers for a potluck every Sunday morning before holding a meeting
to discuss their humanitarian affairs. In the meeting, they brainstorm
fundraising events and initiatives they would like to curate such as
Latkes and Lattes, Night of Eclectic Music, the Fashion Show and
Luncheon, the Holiday Boutique, and Honey from the Heart. They
also donate money to Beit T’Shuvah’s Running4Recovery Marathon
Team, and have sponsored some residents on the Birthright trip to
Israel in the past. Without the Sisterhood, the residents wouldn’t be
afforded these life-changing opportunities.
As one of the entities representing the Beit T’Shuvah Congregation,
the Sisterhood promotes temple membership. They urge women,
who become members of the congregation, to join the Sisterhood
as well. Representing the Sisterhood, Cathy Galper and Pat Lyon are
also members of the Temple Membership Committee, along with
many of the board members.
When we think of generosity, we often think of giving financially. But
Beit T’Shuvah would not be what it is without the people who are
generous in other ways: with their time, energy, dedication, creativity,
heart and soul. The Sisterhood exemplifies that generosity. They
don’t need to help—they want to. That sincere desire is a blessing
that brings joy and support to the Beit T’Shuvah program and its
residents. ■
To join the Beit T’Shuvah Sisterhood, please contact Cheryl Wolf at [email protected] or 310.204.5200 x213.
S P R I N G 2 016
Beit T’Shuvah
8831 Venice Boulevard
Los Angeles, California 90034-3223
www.beittshuvah.org
R e c o v er Your Pa s s i on
D i s c o v er Your Purpos e
To get involved, contact the Development Department
at 310.204.5200.
Non-Profit Org.
U.S. Postage
PAID
Los Angeles, CA
Permit No. 672

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