Western New York Catholic Supplement

Catholic Cemeteries
Now representing
ST. ADALBERT
Catholic Cemeteries
Lancaster
Put Your Faith In Us
MOUNT OLIVET
HOLY CROSS
Kenmore
Lackawanna
HOLY SEPULCHRE
GATE of HEAVEN
Cheektowaga
Lewiston
QUEEN of HEAVEN
ASSUMPTION
Lockport
Grand Island
St. Barbara Bell
in St. Barbara Memory Garden
at Holy Cross Cemetery
24
Western New York Catholic
Catholic Cemeteries
June 2015
News & Notes
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Legacies in stone since 1857
Genealogy
Genealogy will be presented by Lynn Dziak, staff member at Holy Cross
Cemetery in Lackawanna, on Wednesday, June 17, from 6:30 to 7:30 p.m. as part
of the Live Your Legacy Workshop Series. Just as you build your own personal
legacy, so too do you come from a rich heritage. No matter if you have been
researching your family tree for years or are just getting started, this workshop
will provide information to assist with the search.
Sponsored by Catholic Cemeteries of the Diocese of Buffalo, this program is
open to the community at no charge. The program will take place at Holy Cross
Cemetery, 2900 South Park Ave.
For more information or to reserve a space, call Nancy Weil, director of
Bereavement Support Services, at 716-873-6500.
Holy Cross Cemetery
Under construction now, Our Lady of Victory Garden at Holy Cross
Cemetery will be a special addition to this already historic cemetery. Echoing
the splendor of its neighbor, Our Lady of Victory Basilica, this section will be
anchored by a gothic two-sided feature with an etching of Our Lady of Victory
on one side and St. Patrick on the other. With memorial benches surrounding
her, this will be a quiet area for contemplation and prayer. Several niche banks
will be added for the placement of cremated remains and the burial garden will
offer both upright monumentation and flat marker graves.
St. Barbara’s Bell
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The bell in St. Barbara’s Memory Garden, pictured on the cover of this
supplement, rests atop four granite pillars, with stained glass from the former
church placed among the pillars. The stained glass is lit from the inside by soft
lighting and is as beautiful at night as it is during the day. Cremation graves are
available in the new St. Barbara Memory Garden, with a pathway around the
bell bordered by paving stones, which can be engraved with a name, message,
prayer or dedication. This feature has already drawn great interest from many
of the former parishioners of St. Barbara Church. The St. Barbara Bell and
surrounding Memory Garden at Holy Cross Cemetery complements the
successful Ascension Bell Garden at Mount Olivet Cemetery in Kenmore.
St. Adalbert Cemetery
The new St. John Paul II Garden at St. Adalbert Cemetery in Buffalo will
offer several burial options to families in a beautiful setting. The new garden is
set in the center mall of the cemetery and near the pond. A new fountain will be
added to the pond, lending to the attractiveness of the area. The first phase will
have foundations pre-poured for traditional graves that can be memorialized
with either flush marker or upright monumentation. Cremation graves will also
be available.
Mount Olivet Cemetery
Mount Olivet Cemetery in Kenmore is breathing new life and light into the
beautiful old Ascension Chapel which can be visited near the Delaware Avenue
entrance to the cemetery. Originally constructed in 1930, the Ascension Chapel
has hosted numerous funeral ceremonies as well as offering a place of quiet
contemplation over the last 84 years. The chapel has undergone renovations
including the addition of 202 glass front niches for the placement of cremated
remains. Each niche has special LED lighting creating a heavenly glow. New
carpeting and improved lighting throughout complete the renovations.
See News & Notes page 26
Catholic Cemeteries
June 2015
Western New York Catholic
25
Love Story
By Kevin A. Keenan
Ilio DiPaolo was known as a
gentle giant. He may have been on his
own when he competed as a world
class professional wrestler, but at his
landmark restaurant on South Park
Avenue in Blasdell, it was teamwork
that put Ilio DiPaolo’s Restaurant &
Banquet Facility on the map.
Known for its excellent Italian
cuisine and welcoming atmosphere,
Ilio DiPaolo’s showcases an amazing
array of memorabilia from his
wrestling career, as well as countless
autographed photographs from some
of Buffalo’s best known professional
athletes. It has also been a regular
gathering spot for members of the
Buffalo Bills and their families.
Twenty years following his
untimely passing, the DiPaolo team
is still together, with Ilio’s wife, Ethel,
daughter Barbara, and sons, Dennis
and Michael, carrying on the legacy of
a man who was larger than life.
“With his big hands and big feet, he
was big but he was gentle,” Ethel said.
“He loved kids, he loved life. I think
he made a good impression on a lot of
people, made a lot of people closer to
each other. He was just Ilio. He was a
great husband and father.”
The DiPaolo’s Catholic faith plays a
significant role in the lives of the family.
In January of this year, they organized
a Mass of Thanksgiving at Our Mother
of Good Counsel Church in Blasdell,
marking the 50th anniversary of
the founding of the restaurant, and
followed it up with an alumni party for
all of the restaurant’s employees, past
and present.
Following Ilio’s unexpected death in
1995, Ethel became a regular visitor to
his final resting place, the Gethsemane
Chapel Mausoleum at Holy Cross
Cemetery in Lackawanna. The visits
are sometimes brief; other times, she
may sit there for an hour, praying and
remembering. Her daughter, Lisa, and
granddaughter, Tara, who died together
in a tragic automobile accident in 1989,
are interred directly above Ilio.
Ethel said she finds great comfort
during her visits to Holy Cross. “It
seems like the three of them are always
watching over me,” she said, “because
there are so many good things that
happen to me. I pray to them a lot, and
I pray to God and the Virgin Mary. I
thank them for everything I have.”
She is especially grateful for the
presence of Ron Paszak, Holy Cross
Cemetery superintendent. “What can
I say about Ron? We’ve become close
friends. He was there when we lost our
two girls. My husband would go there
See Family page 26
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The DiPaolo Family continue Ilio’s legacy at their restaurant in Blasdell. From
left to right, Michael, Barbara, Ethel and Dennis.
26
Western New York Catholic
Catholic Cemeteries
June 2015
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News & Notes
From page 24
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Catholic Cemeteries continues to honor veterans with the recent completion
of St. Michael the Archangel Veterans Garden at Mount Olivet Cemetery in
Kenmore. This unique section, next to Veterans Plaza, is available only to
veterans and their spouses. Each lot includes a pre-set “Gemini” concrete
container with room for two burials. The special package price also includes
an upright monument.
For more information about any of these new developments at any of our
cemeteries call 873-6500.
Family Finds Comfort in Faith
From page 25
all the time. He always came when
Ron was going to close the cemetery,
and Ron would stay behind until my
husband left.”
“He’s been taking care of our
family for 25 years,” Ethel’s son
Dennis said.
During the funeral Mass, there
is a most meaningful line in the
Eucharistic prayer: “Lord, for your
faithful people, life is changed, not
ended.” The DiPaolo Family, and
countless others like them, find
comfort in that prayer and in the time
they spend with their loved ones at
Catholic Cemeteries.
Holy Cross Cemetery is the largest of
the Catholic Cemeteries in the Diocese
of Buffalo, consisting of approximately
191 acres.
There are over 130,000 interments
in the cemetery with approximately 60
acres of undeveloped land for future
cemetery use.
Kevin A. Keenan
Final resting place of Ilio DiPaolo, his
daughter, Lisa, and granddaughter,
Tara, in Gethsemane Chapel
Mausoleum at Holy Cross Cemetery
in Lackawanna.
June 2015
Catholic Cemeteries
Western New York Catholic
27
Building Your Grief Support Toolbox
A riddle: Everyone has one. It has
taken your entire life to create. Yet you
don’t always use it when you most need
it. What is it? Your spiritual toolbox.
What is a spiritual toolbox? It is a
set of activities that you use to bring
comfort and motivation. For some
people, reading a spiritual book or
exercising always lifts their spirits. For
others going shopping or chopping
wood is all that’s needed to take them
from their doldrums. Creating your
own personal list of ways to feel better
is a great method to start feeling better
now.
Notice it is not about doing
something once you feel better, but
doing something in order to feel better.
Grief can paralyze you and create such
inertia that taking even small steps can
take a big effort. However when the
action required is something that you
already enjoy, then it becomes easier to
begin.
In my programs, we brainstorm
lists of activities that people want to
put in their spiritual
toolbox. Here is a
list of the 10 most
popular steps (not
in any particular
order): Exercise;
reading uplifting
books, including the
Bible; listening to
music; prayer; going
out with friends and
being with family;
journaling; shopping; watching a funny
movie or television show; knitting or
other crafts; playing with dog or cat.
Each of these activities helps to
take you from the pain of grief and
redirects your energy. It brings comfort
and sometimes even fun again into
your day. You may find that some of
these ideas appeal to you or you may be
thinking of other things that you want
to add to your toolbox. Take a moment
and write down your personal list.
Once your list is completed, there is
a step to take that helps to set it in your
mind. Close your
eyes and take three
deep breaths. Begin
to visualize what
your toolbox looks
like. Do not put
limits on it or think
it “should” look a
certain way. I have
had people tell me
that they have seen
Craftsman toolboxes,
wicker baskets, shopping bags, even an
upside down hat.
Let your toolbox come to you
without judgment. Once you see your
toolbox, begin to mentally visualize
placing each of the items on your list
into it. You may need to have someone
read to you the list or you can put it on
a tape recorder and play it at this point
or even peek at your list, close your eyes
again and continue with the process.
Once everything is in the toolbox,
impress upon your heart that these
things are there for you whenever you
need them.
The final step is one of preparation
and action. Download or purchase
your favorite music so it is available
when you need it. Go to the library or
bookstore and have books and movies
at the ready. Make plans to go out
with your friends. Record your favorite
funny television shows so that you can
always play them when you need a
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Patrick McPartland/Staff Photographer
Families gather for “Music and Memories” at Mount Olivet.
Nancy Weil
Father Robert J. McArtney leads a prayer for
the Music and Memories Service at Holy Cross
Cemetery.
Patrick McPartland/Staff Photographer
The altar is decorated for Music and Memories: A Service to Remember Those we Love at Mount Olivet Cemetery.
Nancy Weil
Scott Scanlon, WNY Refresh editor, interviews Kathy Walczak for
an article in The Buffalo News about the grief support programs of
Catholic Cemeteries.
Patrick McPartland/Staff Photographer
St. Anthony Chapel Mausoleum at Holy Sepulchre Cemetery,
completed last summer, offers families several options for above
ground burial.
Patrick McPartland/Staff Photographer
James Janusz and Nancy Weil remember those we’ve lost.
30
Western New York Catholic
Catholic Cemeteries
June 2015
Local author to hold
book signing at
Holy Cross Cemetery
By William Donohue
Most book signings take place
in a library or a museum, a college
auditorium or a hotel. Local author,
William Donohue, requested Holy
Cross Cemetery for the simple reason
that half of the characters in his
book, “Himself, A Civil War Veteran’s
Struggles with Rebels, Brits and Devils,”
are buried there, along with many other
members of his family.
Donohue’s book signing and
presentation will take place on
Saturday, June 13, at 1:30 p.m. in the old
chapel near the Ridge Road entrance.
Friends of Holy Cross and anyone else
interested in its history are invited. Ron
Paszek, superintendent at Holy Cross
Cemetery and the cemetery’s historian,
will lead tours of historic burials after
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the presentation.
The story of Donohue’s ancestors
makes for engrossing reading. Patrick
and John Donohue, sons of immigrants
from Cork, Ireland, who died in a
cholera epidemic in Rochester, were
brought to Buffalo in 1849, by their
grandmother, and grew up in the
clamor and hustle of the First Ward.
They worked for Bishop John Timon,
(who bought the original cemetery
property with his own money).
At 18 and 19 when the Civil War
broke out, the boys joined the 155th
Regiment New York Volunteers,
formed in Buffalo mostly from First
Ward Irish. In May 1864, the 155th
became a part of General Ulysses S.
Grant’s Army of the Potomac.
John was wounded at the Battle
of Spotsylvania Courthouse, Patrick
at Petersburg. Patrick was captured at
Reams Station and spent eight months
in Confederate prisons. He barely
survived. Both men mustered out with
rheumatism, pneumonia, dysentery
and other diseases they carried for
the rest of their lives. Patrick became
a Fenian and under Captain Michael
Bailey (buried in Holy Cross) invaded
Fort Erie in 1866, only to be captured
once again.
See Rich in History page 31
Catholic Cemeteries
June 2015
Rich in History
About the Author
From page 30
Both men married and had
families of five. Patrick’s wife, Mary
Nagle Donohue, and their children
were conflicted by his addiction
to alcohol. She died at 45 and was
buried in an unmarked pauper’s grave
in Holy Cross (only rectified in 2013
by her descendants).
Patrick spent the last 12 years of
his life in the Bath Soldiers and Sailors
Home, where he died and was buried
in 1914. Patrick’s older brother, John,
resided at 51 Alabama St., where he died
the same year, three months later.
John, his wife Johanna and
four children are all buried in Holy
Cross. Patrick’s son, the author’s
grandparents, Robert and Mary Alice
and daughter Annie are buried in
Holy Cross Annex. The author’s infant
brother, Patrick, was buried with his
grandparents. Numerous aunts and
uncles likewise lie beneath Holy Cross
green. The history of Holy Cross, the
First Ward, and the Donohue family
are nearly coterminus.
William Donohue
was born and raised in
South Buffalo and West
Seneca. He attended St.
Bonaventure University and
the University of Louvain,
Belgium. He is married to
Maryalice Donohue. They
have six daughters and live
in Clarence. He served as
Erie County Community
Development Director,
and Mayor Jim Griffin’s
Commissioner of Community
Development, Executive
Director of the Erie County
Industrial Development
Agency and Governor Mario
Cuomo’s first Commissioner
of Commerce. William and
Maryalice are members of St.
Joseph University Parish.
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Catholic Cemeteries
June 2015
Western New York Catholic
33
Above and Beyond
By Carmen Colao
Director, Catholic Cemeteries
“Neither snow nor rain nor heat
nor gloom of night stays these couriers
from the swift completion of their
appointed rounds.”
This phrase is written on New York
City’s James Farley Post Office, but it
is not the official creed of the United
States Postal Service.
During this past long, cold, snowy
winter, that phrase could have been
adapted for our cemetery field staff.
Our dedicated staff worked through
the most difficult conditions that I have
ever seen in my 25 years as Director of
Catholic Cemeteries.
The November storm that brought
five to seven foot snowfalls caused Holy
Cross and St. Adalbert cemeteries in
Buffalo to close for several days. Pay
loaders had to be brought in to open
up the entrances before our field staff
could even begin clearing snow from
roads and walkways. Aside from that
time, our Catholic Cemeteries carried
on “business as usual” throughout the
frigid winter.
The hard frozen ground and heavy
snow made the job of preparing and
digging graves take much longer than
normal. The superintendents had to
be especially diligent in locating graves
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Churches • Rectories • Parish Halls • Schools
Lynn Dziak
Last November’s snow storm that
brought 5- to 7-foot snowfalls
caused extensive damage to Holy
Cross Cemetery.
under this heavy blanket of snow. All
this while at times, dealing with wind
chill factors in the minus 30-40 degree
range.
I want to take this opportunity to
praise and thank our hardworking
field staff for their valiant efforts in
prevailing over the adverse elements.
They truly rose to the occasion and
again demonstrated that what they do
day to day is more than a job. It is a
ministry.
Tools for Healing
From page 27
good laugh.
Every day, choose something on
your list and find the time to do it.
There may be times when tears begin
to flow as you read a favorite passage or
watch a movie that you enjoyed seeing
with your loved one. Honor these tears
as they allow you to remember the
good times. Your spiritual toolbox is
a tool for healing, not forgetting. It
is there for you to use on days when
you need a little lift, when you want to
feel better and when you choose to do
something to take care of yourself.
To learn more tools to help you when
you are grieving, call 716-873-6500
and request a grief support packet be
sent to you. It is full of information on
the programs offered through Catholic
Cemeteries. You don’t have to grieve
alone, join with others who understand
and provide comfort and support to one
another.
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34
Western New York Catholic
Catholic Cemeteries
June 2015