Holy Crossings - Holy Cross Episcopal Church

Holy
Crossings
Together . . .
Building the body of Christ
Summer 2013
Issue 6—A Quarterly News Magazine
Inside This Issue
I Like You Just the Way You Are
2
The Precious Ordinary
3
Getting a Whole New
Perspective on Worship
4
Thank You Holy Cross
5
A Christian Wearing a Hijab?
6
Cover photography by
Thomas Cooper.
Together . . . Building the body of Christ
Summer 2013
“I like you just the way you are!”
Fred Rogers
As spring has sprung and we prepare for summer, we,
once again, prepare for our summer extravaganza--Vacation Bible School, or VBS for short. In the summer of 2013, our theme is
Muppets: sharing God’s love, one frog at a time. I thought it
would be a good idea to share some thoughts on how we choose
a VBS theme and why.
This year we are creating a VBS around puppets. Before I
talk more about how and why we create a VBS theme, I want to
specifically talk about puppets and a couple of my heroes. For
VBS 2013, we are standing firmly on the backs of two great visionaries in puppetry: Jim Henson and Fred Rogers. Both of
these extraordinary men believed that the world could change
and be healed of strife and violence if only we could find a way
to express our feelings in a safe and non-violent way. In steps
the world of puppetry.
Through puppets, we can explore the issues and ideas we
are afraid to share. This vicarious experience of letting our puppet do the talking, was one of the key ideas of our Muppet VBS.
Providing our children with a stage, a Muppet, and puppets of
various kinds gives them tools to work with and ways to share
bottled up emotions and ideas in a contained and safe way. I tell
the kids, “If someone is bothering you, rehearse what you want
to say first with a puppet, and then seek them out.” Oh, how the
world could be different if only we all had a puppet to rehearse
with!
All of our VBS themes have a common root--to coin Fred
Rogers, “I like you just the way you are!” At VBS we express the
Continued on page 7
2
Photos by Tom Cooper
“One thing I have always loved about
Holy Cross is the participation of all
generations in events!” - Dana Coffin
Summer 2013
The Precious Ordinary
By the Rev. Martha Kuhlmann
In Kent Haruf’s latest novel, Benediction, a troubled character is out
walking along the streets in the small town where he lives. Although
he is distracted and disheartened by events in his own personal and
professional life, he finds himself captivated by glimpses of ordinary
people doing ordinary things as he walks.
“He stood in front of houses in the shadows of trees and looked in
through the windows opened to the summer nights watching people.
The little dramas, the routine moments. People moving about in the
rooms, people eating and getting up from the table and crossing in the
flickering blue light of television and at last turning out the house lights
and going out of the darkened rooms, while he stood outside waiting to
see if they would come back.”
He is stopped by a police officer who has received a complaint about
him. In an attempt to explain, he says he just got caught up in watching: “These ordinary lives. Passing without their knowing it. I’d hoped to
recapture something. The precious ordinary.”
On Sunday, June 2 we began the long, green season, known as Ordinary Time. This liturgical time runs from the Sunday after Trinity Sunday all the way until the Sunday right before Advent. This year Ordinary Time covers all of June, July, August, September, October, and
November. Six months; half the year!
The other seasons of Advent, Christmas, Epiphany, Lent, and Easter
are full of high, holy days. Seasons when we remember and celebrate
the pregnancy, birth, life, death and resurrection of Jesus, the journey
of the Magi with their gifts, the coming of the Holy Spirit and the mystery of the Trinity.
If half of our church year is devoted to “Ordinary Time” it seems that it
might be good and helpful to think a bit about the ordinary. Being
someone who has fun with words and language, I’d like to talk about
the three R’s of Ordinary Time.
Renewal
Sometimes it is restful to take a break from the big celebrations both
in the secular and liturgical year: the exhaled breath after the Christmas rush and holidays; the sense of release when the birthday party
with a houseful of 5 year olds is over; the sigh of relief when we have
fully marked and experienced all those services of Holy Week and
Easter.
Photos courtesy of Ro Bany
After a long fast, the first food we usually crave is simple food. After a
time of fancy celebration food, the appeal of a piece of home made
bread toasted or a banana is just right. Enough chocolate and champagne for a while at least!
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Continued on page 8
Summer 2013
Together . . . Building the body of Christ
Photos by Tom Cooper
Getting a Whole New Perspective on Worship
By Jen Clyde
I’ve recently decided to start a new ministry team; it will
be the easiest team to serve on in the whole church. I’m thinking of calling it “Musical Pews Ministry.” All it requires of new
and returning members is that you sit in a pew that is not your
own.
I know, I know – North American churches no longer
rent pews to families as they did in the early twentieth century.
Everyone – without exception – is welcome to sit wherever
they like. But if you’re anything like me, you picked a side the
first time you came to Holy Cross and that has been your side –
perhaps even your pew and your space upon that pew – ever
since. Maybe you mix it up if you’re a few minutes late or some
newcomer who doesn’t know the rules sits in your spot, but for
the most part, there’s something comforting in that little corner
of the pew you call your own.
That’s how I used to feel, anyway. Recently, I had a
change of heart when my dear friend Olivia Boo snuck up to sit
next to me one Sunday morning.
“I’m going to sit here with you today,” she giggled, “even
though this is not our pew.”
I was delighted to be joined by Olivia and her family that
day, and this experience sparked a minor revelation: I had never sat with Olivia in church before. Not because I didn’t want to,
but because she is one of Those People. The people who sit on
the right side. In the back. She might as well have been worshiping at another church.
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That Sunday, I made up my
mind to try a little experiment: I
would stop sitting in “my” pew. I realized that I really want to sit with
Hope and Shannon and Gordon. I
want to see who tears up at which
hymns, who nods along with the sermon, who makes our church bulletins into those lovely origami Easter
lilies I keep finding in the pew racks.
Because our whole community is my
church family, and I want to know
everyone, not just the amazing ladies
who sit in the pew next to the support post on the left side of the aisle.
Like visiting a foreign country,
I’ve also found that sitting in a different pew makes me feel more present,
more aware and more alive during
the service. Something about seeing a
different slant of light through that
same stained glass window just
makes me sit up and take notice of
everything else. Add that to the benefits of extending my knowledge of
our amazing congregation, and I’m
completely sold. I may never go back
to my homeland on the left.
I’m obviously no Mark, but I’ll
steal a page from his book in saying
that this is my invitation to you: try a
different pew. You may cause a few
eyebrows to lift and you might find
yourself struggling to remember
names, but you’ll also become more
connected to our church community.
And isn’t that just the best thing ever?
Summer 2013
Thank you Holy Cross Community
By The Rev. Bonnie Stewart
Photo by Tom Cooper
On the third Sunday of September of 2011, I arrived at Holy Cross
around 8 am and “reported” to the sacristy. Mark was on sabbatical,
so I went looking for Martha. This was my first day as a “student deacon”. Up until then, I had practiced the various functions around the
altar at school, but I had never actually participated in a service “live,”
as they say. With me that morning was Jakki Flanagan (now The Rev.
Jakki Flanagan). Both of us stood a bit awkwardly as we tried to figure
out what we were supposed to do. Martha patiently explained the service (this is how the 8:30 service goes and this is how the 10:15 service will go, etc). I can only speak for myself, but much of it was a blur.
We did get through it – thanks in no small part to Martha’s guidance
and the congregation’s patience. It took me awhile, but I gradually
could set the table properly at both services. And when Mark returned, I was equally as comfortable doing what I could, making mistakes, learning some more and pushing onward.
Over the course of the ensuing months, my confidence grew, and
things began to become familiar. I learned names, could put families
together, matched kids with parents, etc. My first exposure to the
women’s retreat was groundbreaking for me. Everyone was so gracious and inclusive. I joined in with the TKA staff, participated in the
Lenten adult series, the TKA program and my first Holy Week with
you.
A Challenge from the Editor
Do you know what a Deacon is?
They are ordained, but how are
they similar and different from a
priest? Since we have a deacon
on staff, I think we should know.
So what do you do? Simple. Just
ask Bonnie. I am sure she would
be happy to talk about her role as
a deacon at Holy Cross.
And then suddenly I graduated and kind of disappeared. I spent the
next 6 months enjoying not being in school, attending to family matters, re-connecting with my sponsoring parish, St. Clements, and navigating the ordination process. While nothing is certain, there was one
thing that I was sure of….I wanted to return to Holy Cross. From the
moment I walked in to the first service in April of 2011, I knew this
was where I wanted to be…..and after spending those months with
you, I knew Holy Cross was where I belonged. So, when Mark asked
me if I would like to return once I was ordained, it took less than a second for me to respond with a resounding YES!
In January of 2013, I began officially as your Deacon. In the Diocese of
California, we are “assigned” on a two-year basis, but from what I can
gather, that term is more than flexible. The purpose of this article is
just this: I want to thank all of you for welcoming me, gathering me
to you, and grafting me in to the Holy Cross family. It is my privilege to serve you and the community we live, work and go to school in.
I look forward to what God has in store for all of us as we work to
build God’s Kingdom together. May God Bless and Keep Us.
Bonnie+
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Summer 2013
Together . . . Building the body of Christ
A Christian Wearing a Hijab?
to an intellectual one instead of dwelling
on my health.
By Dana Coffin
Why does a woman in an Episcopal Church sing in
the choir, but cover her head like a Muslim? Every
time I have covered my head and headed to church,
I’ve wondered if newcomers are curious . . . but of
course, if you are new you don’t ask. Those of you
who have been part of my seven-year-long journey
with cancer have heard my story. For those who haven’t heard, here it is.
I have been on this cancer “adventure” for seven years now. That means
seven years of varying kinds of chemotherapy and a myriad of side effects. In reality, I have lost track of how many different forms of chemo I
have had. I just know that this is the fourth time that one of the side effects has been hair loss. During the first 2 bouts of baldness, I was still
teaching in a classroom and wore a wig. I’ve been lucky to have had some
that looked good, but none of them have been comfortable. They ride up
the back of my head. They itch and are very hot in warm weather. When
I started the third “bye-bye hair” chemo, I just could not face wearing a
wig again. Unfortunately, I am an absolute klutz when it comes to tying a
scarf creatively, but a hijab . . .
The hijab, a veil which modestly covers the hair and neck areas of many
Muslim women, has always been a draw to me. Growing up on the banks
of the Tigris River in Baghdad, Iraq, I watched the young girls who played
on the banks of the river add this covering to their heads when they were
only a few years older than I. When our security guard’s sister, who had
been my playmate for two years, began to cover her hair as well, I asked
my mother when I would get to wear this outer sign of growing up. Of
course, she laughed and explained that we were not Arab or Muslim and
so that was not our tradition. Still, I always found it an appealing look.
When I faced the third loss of hair, my earlier fascination occurred to me
and I began exploring the possibilities. After talking to my Muslim and
Jewish friends, I decided to go ahead and begin covering my head. The
fact that I became a curiosity was actually a welcome part of my decision.
People who knew me, asked me why. It gave me a chance to talk about
the beauty of Islam and, hopefully, teach them something new. I have delighted when unveiled Muslim women would ask me where I was from.
Suddenly, I was making a new friend. I have walked into restaurants
owned by Arab men who approach me and whisper the age-old greeting,
Ahlan wa-sahlan (welcome) to me in Arabic. Luckily, I can answer, but
then stop and explain my Christian roots and limited Arabic words. What
I love best about the entire experience is that it directs my conversation
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The down side, maybe, is that a veiled
woman is never asked to sign petitions at
the market! People don’t stop me to buy
Girl Scout Cookies, either. In some ways I
become invisible. I am aware that I am
perceived as an oddity and some people
would rather overlook a covered woman
than risk engaging, and possibly offending,
them. For the most part, my experiences
have been very positive. I haven’t received many negative comments and I am
astounded that my former students recognize me no matter how I treat my tresses.
If you are interested in learning more
about the modern Muslim woman’s wearing of the hijab, I invite you to attend a
special showing of a documentary, Just a
Piece of Cloth. The film features 4 Bay Area Muslim women who share their decisions regarding wearing hijab or not. The
film date is June 26 and will be shown at
All Saints Episcopal Church, 911 Dowling
Blvd. at 6:00 p.m. Middle Eastern appetizers will be served and I will wear my hijab.
If you are interested in learning more
about the path a cancer patient undertakes, you are invited to join Holy Cross at
the Castro Valley Relay for Life on Saturday, July 20, at 9 a.m. Held at Canyon Middle School on Cull Canyon, our booth will
be one of quiet rest and relaxation for the
hundreds of survivors and family members who walk to raise money. Members
of the healing team will be present as we
pray for continued health and energy for
all cancer patients around the world.
Watch our display of candles, ribbons, and
prayers grow and encourage on the walkers at this 24 hour relay. If you have questions, please see Richard Patenaude or
Dana Coffin.
Summer 2013
I Like You Just the Way You Are cont. from page 2
same sentiment with our theme song, ‘I love you and God loves
you, and that’s the way it should be!’ A profound message that all
of our kids, indeed, everyone needs to hear daily! God really
does love us the way we are. Our problem is, we have to wade
through all those past tapes, cultural and religious expectations
and mediated messages to get back to how God sees us--very
good! (Gen. 1.31) The tapes that tell us that God is mad, and we
have to earn God’s love and trust through our good works of service and love, are simply plain wrong. We don’t earn anything.
This is the Good News! Service to others, acts of charity and ‘good
works’ flow out of us in gratitude for the gift God freely bestows
on us … with “no strings attached,” to quote the Barrington Bunny. Indeed, this is why the VBS staff works so hard and puts so
much time, energy and love into each VBS program--to give
thanks for what God has done for us!
Photograph courtesy of Tom Cooper
Photograph courtesy of Tom Cooper
Photograph courtesy of Shannon Pace
I love how flexible our spaces are. Our beautiful sanctuary takes on different atmospheres to support our expressions of faith.
Every fall, we begin the eleven month process that births
a new VBS program each summer. What we try and do is capture
the imaginations of our kids by using story that they know very
well; for example, Toy Story, Harry Potter, Dr. Seuss, etc. The
staff then culls out of these popular stories the gospel themes of
love, service, self-sacrifice, restoration, and relationships that fill
the pages or screen. Crafts, decorations, snacks, music and
games all work in harmony to express the core message of the
day. This is the magic behind VBS--meet the kids where they are,
utilizing language which is familiar to them. WAY better than the
old “memorize the bible verse of the day” type VBS.
When we begin to create a VBS program, we have in the
fore-front of our mind, one of my favorite axioms: Christian Education is a marinade not a glaze! Shoving facts into a kids head
only works in the short term. Allowing kids to experience the
love of God in a community which encourages wonder and questions provides a model that speaks for our Christian walk as a
life-long journey. A journey full of ups and downs, twists and
turns, and all the while; God walks with us every step of the way.
In short, this is what VBS is all about. Making the journey
together in community; based on the rock solid foundation of
knowing that I love and God loves, you and that’s the way it
should be!!
We would be delighted to have you join the journey this
and every summer!
Blessings,
--Mark
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Summer 2013
Together . . . Building the body of Christ
The Precious Ordinary Continued from page 3
An Annuity?! Nine Percent?!
Recognition
Laurie’s stock broker couldn’t believe it.
Ordinary Time gives us an opportunity to take stock of all the simple
joys and gifts of life. Our health, if we have it. Another day, if we
don’t. Air to breathe, water to drink, clean sheets on a bed, enough to
eat, friends and family to love and be loved by, a pet to care for, a
garden to tend. A kind word, a gentle touch, a card in the mail, a
phone call or email that comes at just the right time.
Laurie had a bank CD maturing and he
wanted to invest the proceeds in the stock
market for her. When she told him that she
was not going to roll it over or give it to him
to invest, he asked her what she was going
to do with it. “Buy a gift annuity,” she told
him. “An annuity!” he exclaimed. “Yes,” she
replied, “An annuity with a guaranteed 9%
return.”
As we see and recognize these simple ordinary gifts, we can give
thanks for a God who cares for each one of us, knows us inside and
out, has numbered the hairs on our heads, and who was willing to
die for us so that we might live.
Recommitment
Ordinary Time invites us to re-order and re-commit. What is important to us and how are we honoring that in the living of our lives?
We say that church and family and work and rest are important.
Does our living reflect that? We say that it’s not all about money, that
giving is better than receiving, that relationship is what matters
most. Are we sleeping as we need to, eating what will bring us health
and happiness, giving out of our abundance, going to church (well, I
had to put that in!), spending time with our family and friends?
Ordinary time is a time for honoring the ordinary … seeing the world
God has made and being the person God has made us to be … giving
thanks for every example and expression of “the precious ordinary.”
Laurie took some delight in her broker’s shock. Laurie is a businesswoman
who owns four retail stores and, at age 91,
is just completing purchase of a new building in Redwood City. She knows her way
around finances.
With a twinkle in her eye, she told me:
“And I didn’t even tell him about the tax
deduction.” The $16,000 tax deduction on
her $25,000 annuity would reduce her income taxes by $6,339 this year.
Because most of the income that Laurie
will receive from her gift annuity will be tax
-free, to get the same amount of after-tax
income, she would have to find a CD that
paid 18.9%!
But what means most to Laurie is that
when she no longer needs the income, the
annuity’s remaining principal will go to
support her favorite human services ministry.
Your ordinary priest,
Martha+
Want to know what your payout would
be on a gift annuity for your parish? Go to
“Create Your Plan” at
www.EpiscopalGift.org. Or contact your
Gift Planning Officer at [email protected]
or (415) 869-7812 for a personal consultation.
A gift annuity may allow you to do well
while doing good.
_______________________________________
The Rev. Richard L. Schaper, CFP
(415) 869-7812
Gift Planning Officer
[email protected]
Episcopal Diocese of California
EpiscopalGift.org
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Summer 2013
The Clergy of Holy Cross Church
Equipping God’s people for the work of ministry.
(Eph 4:12)
Pastor (Rector)
The Rev. Mark Spaulding
Associate Rector
The Rev. Martha Kuhlmann
Parish Deacon
The Rev. Bonnie Stewart
Pastoral Associates
The Rev. Dr. Alicia Vargas
The Rev. Dr. Steven Churchill
Students
(deacon) Pamela Jester
(priest) Machelle Christiansen
Gifts and Memorials
The Lay Staff
Director of Music
Mr. Ray Hickman
Office Administrator
Ms. Bonnie Pikul
Treasurer
Bobbi Crudo
Bookkeeper
Ms. Diane Granlund
Bookkeeper
Mr. Arnold DuBell
Sunday Nursery Coord.
Ms. Kristen Lambton
Facilities Manager
Ms. Lillian Kline
AA Coordinator
Ms. Madeline Roy
Vestry Leadership
Rector’s Warden
Ms. Diane Granlund
People’s Warden
Mr. David Fenscik
Vestry Ministry Team Coordinators
Education
Ms. Shannon Pace
Senior Ministry
For Robert Winkler
Marilyn Winkler
Ms. Hilary Drake
Facilities
Mr. Ken Couche
Outreach
Ms. Jacquelyn Smith
Parish Life
Ms. Tina Baggott
Stewardship
Mr. Arnold DuBell
Worship and Arts
Vestry Clerk
In Memory of Barbara Wyant
Jean Graham
Stephanie Bigelow
Helene Hillyard
Cy and Lynette Crosby
Janet Westfall
Munro and Susan Dearing
For Marilyn Runyon
Lillian Kline
Ms. Jen Clyde
Mr. Richard Patenaude
Holy Crossings Editor
Ms. Dana Coffin
Ms. Bonnie Pikul
Holy Crossings Photographer
For Ronald Keyser
Lillian Kline
Mr. Tom Cooper
e-mail: [email protected]
Holy Crossings is a quarterly publication of Holy Cross Episcopal Church of the Diocese of California, published in September, December, March, and June. Articles under 1000 words
are welcome from members of the parish and will be printed as
space permits. Submit to the Holy Crossings mailbox in the
church office by the 13th of the month prior to the month of
publication, or e-mail them to [email protected].
In Honor of Dana Coffin
Thomas La France
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Photograph by Austin Cuneo Romie
Issue 6 Summer 2013
Holy Cross Episcopal Church
19179 Center Street
Castro Valley, CA 94546
Telephone: 510.889-7233
Website: www.holycrosscv.org
Holy Crossings