October 2015

The FLASH
October 2015
Volume 67
FLASH Issue 2
From The Editors...
As many of you know, no doubt, a student here at Immanuel has, for several years now, been knitting and crocheting to raise
money for the orphans in Africa. We were talking about her mission in class the other day and the more I thought about it, the
more it put things into perspective. I thought about how I considered crawling out of bed this morning and dragging myself to
work a huge accomplishment. Then I thought about how my classmate, 16 years old, has a school in Africa named after her. I
thought about how I just couldn’t find time to do my Calculus assignment last night, and she’s spent hour after hour knitting
hats to raise money for children on another continent. Naturally this thought process made me feel pretty bad about myself. I
can’t crochet much more than a washcloth, and I doubt I’ll ever have more than a plastic lobster named after me. Sometimes I
find it difficult to see for myself what wonderful gifts God has given to me. It’s easy to look around at your classmates and
name dozens of great qualities and gifts they’ve been blessed with. But in this day and age, you’re expected to degrade yourself
while praising others. It’s sometimes hard to see your own gifts, and if we can’t see our own gifts, how can we use them to
God’s glory? I think we, as a generation, need to make an effort to acknowledge the talents given to ourselves and our peers
and to encourage the each other to use them to God’s glory. In God’s eyes, any work performed to His glory is perfect, whether
it’s playing a hymn in chapel or donating hundreds to schools in Africa. Let’s use our gifts.
Contents
Pg. 1-Letter Form the Editors
Pg. 2-Gunny’s Report
Pg. 3-Word Association
Pg. 4-Hey, Cut That Out
Random Facts
Pg. 5-Prof. Schierenbeck
Pg. 6-PDA Rules
Pg. 7-Lunch Hour Special
Pg. 8-The Sixes
The Prodigal Son Returns
Pg. 9-Yogi Berra
Meet the Freshmen
Pg. 10-Current Events
FLASHback
Pg. 11-Laura Naumann
Pg. 12-Matt White
1
Contributors
Editors
Jaqi Gerbitz
Joci Gamble
Contributors
Jon Gamble
Sam Lisak
Olivia Albrecht
Gunnard Sippert
Faith Lillo
Rose Schierenbeck
Calvin Ryan
Danielle Gamble
Julianna Hein
Leah Mackensen
Caitlyn Sandeen
Riley Sotnyk
James Schaser
Emily Zimmerman
Krystal Sydow
Layout
Jonah Albrecht
Shannon McDonald
Printers
Tim Schaller
Laura Naumann
Gunny’s Report
By Gunnard Sippert
Cross Country
Daniel Lau continues to fulfill the Lau hereditary trait of dominating everything they ever participate in. He’s
taken first or second in every meet so far this year, been featured (and misquoted, as he will let you know)
in a front-page Leader Telegram article, and recently broke his PR at the Osseo-Fairchild meet by finishing
under 17 minutes. 16:44.1 to be exact, which places my cousin among the top 10 D3 boys runners in the
whole state of Wisconsin.
The guys’ team has been placing very well, as of late, with the consistanty high finishes of the
sophomore trio of Lau, Austin Karow, and Jordan Rutz. The team also received a shot in the arm a couple
weeks into the season when Jesse Noeldner returned from his summer home of California. Daniel and
Jade Masker, who have both improved upon their PRs this season, round out the boys team that is looking
to return to state for the 3rd time in six years.
While the girls don’t have an official team with only four runners, junior Jaqi Gerbitz and sophomore
Stacey Noeldner have been getting times under 23 minutes and just over 24 minutes respectively. Seniors
Rebecca Krause and Deb Bernthal finish out their high school careers this year and both reached their own
PRs at the recent Osseo-Fairchild meet.
Volleyball
The Varsity volleyball
team has had a solid
season thus far, but
that’s what they have
expected to do. They’ve
set their goals decently
high for this year, two of
them surely being
accomplished in winning
the Dairyland
Conference Invite and
the Immanuel Invite.
The team, led by nine
seniors, has only
dropped one set in
conference play up to
this point, gaining them
a 6-0 conference record.
The toughest challenges are yet to come, however. Five of the Lancers’ six wins have come against the
teams which make up the bottom five of the 11-team Dairyland. ILHS will be facing four of the other top-six
teams in the upcoming weeks, including Augusta and Cochrane-Fountain City.
Immanuel defeated Augusta in the championship match of the Dairyland Invite to win it all back on
September 12th and will face them on Tuesday, October 13. The Pirates of C-FC headline the other
showdown that will take place that week (10/15). C-FC is undefeated in the Dairyland, as is usual. They
play in a different invite the same week of the Dairyland Conference Invite, so the Immanuel team has not
seen them play yet. The Pirates’ team is sure to feature many of the same players that the Lancers played
against last year, as many of their leading players were not seniors.
Surely the Immanuel volleyball has a tough road in the coming weeks, but they do have a couple
things working in their favor. These include that three of their four remaining conference games are at
home, including Augusta and C-FC in addition to Whitehall.
2
Gunny’s Report
Continued...
By Gunnard Sippert
Soccer
Immanuel FC has had unprecedented success this season. In the history of soccer here at this
school, a team has never gone 8-0 to start the season. They've swept season series against Chi-Hi,
McDonnell/Regis, and Altoona. Much like the volleyball team, their toughest games remain ahead. Five
games against the three best teams on their schedules over the next three weeks are sure to test the
Lancers. Three of those games come on the road, as well. One of the teams they still have two games left
with on their schedule is Coulee Region Christian, whom Prof. Sippert in his tenure (the entirety of the
Soccer program) as head coach has never defeated. The three road games come on back-to-back-to-back
Saturdays, so Immanuel will finish off the schedule with two home games right here in Eau Claire. The first
of those comes on Monday, October 19 against Coulee Christian at Bollinger Fields #3. Be sure to come
out at 5:30 that night to support your Lancers. The last game on the team’s docket is also a short distance
from campus at the Eau Claire Soccer Park on Saturday, October 24. In that contest the squad will take on
Black River Falls for the third time this season.
Keep tabs on Immanuel FC as they try to have the best soccer season in the history of the program.
N
O
I
T
A
I
C
O
S
S
A
WORD
Caitlyn and Leah
PDA
discussion
class
act
play
sports
Schmortz
smores
fire
brimstone
demons
devil
ostrich
penguin
bird
3
Sam L
EJ
Dan Lau
Lauren S
Kaitlyn B
Prof Sullivan
James Schaser
Ned S
Philip Reim
Paige Quam
Josh G
Drew N
Luke M
Timmy P
seed
plant
green
go
stop
eating
P.O.A.C.
YAK
Caleb O
Zach Sippert
Brian Fox
Katie Lillo
Willy
Bryan S
Laura N
Dani G
Hey, Cut That Out!
By Krystal Sydow
A pet peeve is when there is an often repetitive thing that causes annoyance inside a particular group
of people. Some things that are considered pet peeves bother certain people more than others. For instance,
someone may be annoyed by the fact that someone is messy, whereas another person doesn’t really notice it.
There are some things that are very common in the category of pet peeves. They include people
saying a particular word wrong, like crick instead of creek. This one has more to do with someone’s dialect,
but it still can be annoying to some people. Yet this one still got about 12% of the votes.
Another is excessive tapping during class. Almost everybody taps, so it isn’t really annoying when you
do it yourself, but others may think otherwise. Even some of the teachers do it, and it can make it harder to
concentrate and can get kind of irritating after a while. So this one got about 27% of the votes.
Yet another pet peeve is when somebody feels the need to touch your own personal property. This is
when someone takes your phone, touches your musical instrument, or comes over to your house and touches
everything in your room. This one can annoy pretty much anybody and yet we’ve all done it, so this one was
also marked at 27% of the votes.
Finally, the last pet peeve that was proven as the most annoying is people chewing with their mouths
open. This can be very irritating when you’re sitting next to people who refuse to close their mouths when
eating. It’s messy, noisy, and rude. That is why this one is the number one biggest pet peeve marking at 34%
voting yes.
Pet peeves are a really good and sometimes annoying way to find out more about someone, even if it
means irritating them until they snap!
RandomBy Julianna
Facts
Hein
!
October is Latin for “the eighth month.”
!
October is national chili month.
!
Jellyfish powder has been used to make salted caramel.
!
Pearls dissolve in vinegar.
!
In the U.S. lettuce is the second most popular fresh vegetable.
!
The average person eats eight pounds of grapes a year.
!
When they cry, babies younger than three months don’t produce tears.
!
A single hair has the lifespan of about five years.
!
There is a giant jellyfish called the pink meanie.
!
Sperm whales sleep standing up.
!
The world’s tallest ice cream cone was over nine feet tall. It was scooped in Italy.
!
Wall-e (the character from the Disney movie) was named after Walter Elias Disney.
!
In the Disney movie Fantasia, the sorcerer is called Yen Sid. Now read that name
backwards. . . .
4
Jeff:
Prof.
A Biography
Schierenbeck
By: Calvin Ryan
(His first interview in his 25 year career at ILC)
Q: Let’s start at the beginning. What did you have for breakfast?
A: Um…. A Frozen Waffle
Q: When and where were you born?
A: Spokane, WA, 1967
Q: How many siblings do you have?
A: 5, three brothers and two sisters
Q: Fondest childhood memory?
A: Hmm.. Probably riding my bike.
Q: Was that back when you wanted to be a professional BMX rider?
A: Yes
Q: If you were to write an autobiography, what would the title be?
A: Jeff.
Q: What inspired you to teach little Christian children the maths and
sciences?
A: Well.. I got the call. It came by surprise. I hadn’t even considered
teaching before then.
Q: What?? What were you doing?
A: I was a structural engineer in South Carolina.
Q: Oh.. Wow. Was there anything that pushed you to say yes?
A: I just had a strong feeling that it was what God wanted me to do.
Q: What’s your favorite color and why?
A: Do I have to have a favorite color?.... Probably green because I would always be the green game piece when I played
board games.
Q: A colleague of mine mentioned you have history playing a 12-string guitar..?
A: I played a little guitar.. not much anymore. I have a 6 string and a 12 string… Joe, my son, has pretty much adopted
them now.
Q: What’s your go-to brain food?
A: Diet Mountain Dew
Q: Who’s your favorite musical artist?
A: Probably Neil Young
Q: Let’s cut to the chase, “Is there life outside of earth?”
A: No.
Q: We’ll wrap it up on a riddle..: There are 30 cows and 28 chickens. How many didn’t?
A: *after a minute of deep thought* … Ten.
5
Have PDA rules gone too far?
Faith Lillo
This seems to be a somewhat common question among ILC students. As we flash members occasionally
forget, our student newspaper exists to report on relevant topics, as well as random facts and such fluff. Now,
the conflict with this is that sometimes, such reporting is not done respectfully. What we attempt to do in the
foreseeable future, here in the Flash is maturely discuss the PDA system, hopefully switching off between male
and female perspectives, with the articles responding to the one in the previous edition. If any of you non-Flash
members have had consequential experiences with PDA, or just have a strong desire to speak your mind, feel
free to talk to me about contributing.
Thanks,
Editor: Joci Gamble
Walking through campus one day, I passed a professor who instead of the usual smile and nod, said,
“You’re at two.” I was confused at first, but when it dawned on me, I quickly looked down at my feet and
walked faster. The next day, I walked past another prof who simply held up two fingers and raised his
eyebrows. They were both warning me about PDA marks. I had gotten two for hugging my boyfriend, and if
we were caught one more time, a letter would be sent to my parents. I was mortified. Being on campus with
him automatically became a constantly uncomfortable situation. Was the entire faculty watching us more
closely now, like we had a huge “HIGH RISK” stamp on our foreheads? The warning scared me, but at the
same time, the rule seemed a bit silly. “It’s just a hug,” everyone argues. There have even been times when
students have been called out by faculty for casual physical contact with friends of the opposite gender—even
if they aren’t in a dating relationship. So what’s the big deal? Why would a huge considered something that
causes lustful thoughts?
After my first PDA mark, I was pulled aside by my dorm mother to have a chat about how boys are
chemically different than girls. She said that I might not think much of a simple hug goodnight, but a boy’s
mind will definitely wander, and I should be looking out for the spiritual health of my Christian brother. Is this
an exaggeration? It’s probably more true than any of us would be comfortable admitting. So, maybe a hug
shouldn’t be quickly dismissed as “just a hug.” But I think it’s a huge exaggeration to say that every form of
physical contact between a couple is automatically going to put sexual thoughts in their minds. I think that
when we hug, our intentions are to show affection and be caring. After a hard day, a hug from your boyfriend or
girlfriend calms you down and lowers anxiety. It’s a way to say, “I care about you,” or, “I hope you feel better,”
or, “Goodbye, I’ll miss you.” Sometimes saying those words isn’t enough to help that person, and getting your
point across verbally doesn’t always work. For me specifically, there have been times when I’ve been really
upset about something, and the boy with me felt helpless because he couldn’t comfort me without being afraid
of getting another mark. Of course, it’s impossible for a professor to look into our minds and see whether or not
our intentions are good. So they have to protect us from the worst-case scenario, hence the strict PDA mark
system. I completely understand that the rules are outlined this way to make sure the school is doing everything
it can to help keep relationships focused on getting to know people intellectually and spiritually, not physically.
But can we as Christian teens be trusted to keep physical contact like hugs purely affectionate and not sexual?
Or is it better to be safe than sorry and keep enforcing the rules strictly? In my opinion, it’s a responsibility that
we’re all capable of handling. Shame, fear, guilt, and stress about hugging someone—or other kinds of casual
physical contact with friends—aren’t things that we should have to feel. It’s something to think about and
discuss (respectfully and maturely, please).
Faith Lillo
6
Lunch Hour Special
By Jon Gamble and Sam Lisak
If you aren’t in band, tour choir, or a kitchen worker, you might find yourself looking for something
to do during lunch hour. It is a problem everyone must face. Without realizing it, you will probably fall into
one of three categories. There’s the gym rats, the dormies, and the AC kids. This is an organization tool
that has stood the test of time, and will always continue in this pattern. Let’s dissect these groups.
Gym Rats: There are even subsets within the gym rats. You’ve got your couples in the bleachers,
your kids who will do anything to be sweaty in the end, your shooters/bumpers, and your watchers. Often
there is a good mix between the four groups. The largest are probably the pickup games of basketball,
21, or the lunch time classic, the garbage game. Don’t be garbage. This situation can be high risk, high
reward. It can be lots of fun, but beware of the sweatiness that will ensue. Think about the consequences
before you risk it for the biscuit.
Dormies: #Free2k These are typically the kids that go up to the dorm for one reason or another.
Typically it is kids that go up to grab some food, then get distracted, or as has become all the rage
nowadays, play 2k or some other video game that cannot quite evoke the same emotions of triumph and
rage that 2k brings upon children of all ages. If you want to get to know your friends better, play them in
2k. If you ever happen to be standing outside the boys’ dorm during lunch hour, you are likely to hear all
manners of exclamatory statements in high volumes. Ear plugs are encouraged.
AC Kids: These are the kids that are either scrounging the Facebook, finishing up some
homework that is due within the next two hours, or playing some Buzzfeed quiz as if all the troubles in life
can be solved by clicking hypothetical situations that someone who is paid to make stuff up suggests
based on said situations. Also, Sam and Jon are
known to write about the great Bill Murray during
lunch hour.
If you’re looking for something new to do
during lunch hour, you could try joining a new group
for a day. Maybe wait for seconds. Maybe play poker
with salt and pepper packets while waiting for
seconds. Find a hobby, like sporcle, or 2k, or backflip
half-court shots, or knitting, or talking to Sullivan
about his newspaper, or kite flying, or napping.
Sam Lisak
For those of you who are unaware there is a very good publication and newsletter geared towards
college-age Christians and the struggles they face in their lives in a secular world. It is a faith-based
email newsletter with different articles prepared by the readers and released biweekly. They have their
own website-clcwitness.com- which offers a much better explanation of it than I do. They also have a
Facebook page which you can look up under the witness, or if you are friends with me you can find it
somewhere under my likes. The group was started by some of Immanuel’s very own, and they currently
have five articles up on the website. If you are interested in writing for them or emailing them, they have
ways on the website you can. Look them up.
7
The Sixes
Faith & Rose
Hello, student bodies. As promised, we’ve thrown together
another ten songs for you—but let’s use the word “thrown” a little
loosely. Some thought was actually put into the selections, believe it or
not. First, we have five modern songs, all of which have been released
within the past six years. These range from 1901 by the Phoenix
(released in 2009) to WILD by Troye Sivan (2015). The five oldies we
chose are all hits from the 60’s.The theme is six, in case you haven’t
caught on. Again, if you’re too lazy to look up the songs yourself, we
have a playlist set up on Spotify. Search for the username
flashplaylists. Some people have had trouble finding it there, but we
promise the account exists. If it isn’t showing up, ask Rose or Faith,
and we’d be happy to help you find it. Also, if you have any recommendations for the next playlist—whether it be new
genres, artists, albums, or songs—let us know. We eat up new music like a vacuum. Except I’m sure your
recommendations aren’t dirt. That metaphor turned out kind of rude, and I’m sorry. Now that I’ve made this awkward .
. . without further ado, here are The Sixes. Happy listening!:
Modern
1901 by the Phoenix
Step by Vampire Weekend
Jackie and Wilson by Hozier
Tighten Up by The Black Keys
WILD by Troye Sivan
Oldies
My Girl by the Temptations
Brown Eyed Girl by Van Morrison
Build Me Up Buttercup by The Foundations
You Can’t Hurry Love by Phil Collins
I’m a Believer by Neil Diamond
The Prodigal Son James
Returns
Schaser
What is the first word you think of when you hear “Justin
Bieber.” Now, if you would have asked me this question 5, or 4,
or even 1 year ago, I would have said “eww” or “gross” or “Oh
that man child that has become famous for singing before
puberty hit?”. I was not impressed by his old songs, such as
“Baby” or “As Long As You Love Me.” I didn't like his voice and,
after reading some interviews, I did not like his attitude either. I
thought he didn't look like a nice person, and that egging incident
did not help. His rollercoaster relationship with Selena Gomez
was all over the news constantly, which was extremely annoying. But now things have changed…… I
have become a Justin Bieber fan. Now that statement will probably get two different reactions from
people. “James, how could you go to the darkside?” or “Finally you came to your senses.” Well, I have
good reason to. He has come out with a new album, and I have to tell you, it's ballin’ man. The songs
“Where are U Now” and “What do You Mean” are some of the best songs of this year, and by far my
favorite Justin Bieber songs ever. His other songs on the album are all pretty good, but not as good as
those two songs. So if you are a Bieber hater, but you somehow have not heard these two songs or the
album, just give it a try, it may surprise you.
8
Yogi Berra
Sam Lisak
For those of you unaware, the great Yogi Berra died the other day.
Aside from being a great baseball player, one who was noted for
playing 22 innings of a game at catcher, a position that is already
hard to play for 9 innings, 3 time MVP, and 10 time World Series
champion, he was very well-known for his quotes. Please enjoy
the following Yogi Berra originals.
“When you come to a fork in the road, take it.”
“You can observe a lot by just watching.”
“It ain’t over till it’s over.”
“You better cut the pizza in four pieces because I’m not hungry
enough to eat six.”
Bryan’s favorite: “Slump? I ain’t in no slump… I just ain’t
hitting.”
“The future ain’t what it used to be.”
“It was impossible to get a conversation going, everybody was talking too much.”
“I’m not going to buy my kids an encyclopedia. Let them walk to school like I did.”
This completely truthful approach to hitting: “I never blame myself when I’m not hitting. I just
blame the bat and if it keeps up, I change bats. After all, if I know it isn’t my fault that I’m not
hitting, how can I get mad at myself?”
“Little League baseball is a very good thing because it keeps the parents off the streets.”
“If the world were perfect, it wouldn’t be.”
But always remember: “I never said most of the things I said.”
Meet the Freshmen: Nathan Lang
Nathan Lang was born November 18, 2000, in Livonia, Michigan, the
first of three boys. He has one older sister. We lived in Michigan until
he was almost 3 years old, when his Dad got transferred to Minnesota
for his job. Nathan attended K-8th grade at Berea Lutheran School in
Inver Grove Heights. He played basketball for Berea, soccer for RAAA
since he was 4 and Dakota Rev for one year. He enjoys cooking,
spending time outdoors, paintball, camping with his family, swimming,
soccer, and baseball. He has a great gift for singing, playing the piano,
and strumming the guitar. Nathan took his first airplane ride at just 6
weeks old. When we lived in Michigan we would travel by airplane
several times a year back to North Dakota to see our family. Most
recently we flew to Orlando, Florida, and visited Disney world. Nathan
also likes to spend time playing video games either on the computer or
on Xbox! Overall, Nathan is a friendly, outgoing, kind, generous,
talented, young man. We pray he continues to grow in faith and
wisdom.
9
Current Events Riley Sotnyk
- The immigration problem in Europe greatly increases.(all of Sept.)
- The United States Senate passes nuclear deal with Iran.(Sept. 10)
- The wildfires in California burn through 73,000 acres causing significant damage to land and
houses.(Sept. 17)
-On the journey to Mecca, at least 717 people were killed by the stampede of people. (Sept. 23)
- Pope Francis releases letter granting priests ability to grant absolution to women who have received an
abortion.(Sept. 1)
- Scientists at NASA think they have discovered flowing water on Mars. (Sept. 28)
-Shell stops drilling for oil in Alaska. (Sept. 28)
-Giant typhoon Dujuan hits Taiwan (Sept. 28)
-The Cardinals, Blue Jays, Royals, Mets, Pirates, and Cubs have all clinched playoff berths in the MLB
playoffs. (as of when this information was taken on Sept. 29)
H
S
A
L
F Back
February 5, 1988 Volume 38 Issue 2
Do You Have School Spirit?
“School Spirit” is a term which is frequently used here at Immanuel. One is urged to go to games, pep
rallies, and so forth to show his/her school spirit. In two weeks we will have Spirit Week here to help
build enthusiasm for the basketball tournament in Watertown. There are usually the main ideas people
think about when the term “school Spirit” is used--cheerleaders, pep rallies, and athletic events. These
activities are definitely a part of school spirit, but personally, I think the term has a much deeper
meaning, or at least it should. Shouldn’t striving for academic achievement be a part of school spirit?
After all, aren’t we all here to be students. Many times we are less than enthusiastic or spirited about
our studies. Sometimes this might be because it seems like all work and no glory. But the people who
work hard in studies have just as much school spirit as those who attend pep rallies. In fact, there is no
reason one can’t do both. But, next time somebody misses a game or pep rally because of homework,
let’s not be too quick to judge that the person is missing due to lack of school spirit. School spirit should
also overlap into other activities, such as piano playing. Is one considered lacking school spirit if he
skips a piano recital? The answer is no, usually. Somehow most people don’t realize that the students
worked hard to be able to perform and desire our time and attention.
Are people judged lacking in school spirit if they miss a student council meeting? Are you a disspirited individual if you skip the play or musical? One could go on and on citing different examples, but
the point is that to me, school spirit is a many faceted thing. I believe that school spirit is performing or
supporting an activity that makes your school a better place. There are different ways to do this,
whether it’s scoring points on the basketball court, playing in a piano recital, acting in a musical, or
writing in the school newspaper. We all have different way of bettering our school. We should do our
best in our own special ways, but should also be quick to support others--no matter what their specialty
is.
10
Laura
Joelle
Naumann
By Faith Lillo
Laura Naumann: the girl who pitted the student body against each other in the timeless conflict
between the Yaks and the Fists, the legendary libero of the Varsity street-ballers, and the most
aggressively anti-hippo person I know. I received the high honor of sitting in the aisle of a bus to have
a lovely chat with her for this article—until I got yelled at for sitting in the aisle. Then I got to sit next to
her.
Flash: Where and when were you born?
Laura: Markesan, WI. April 16, 1998.
F: If you could say just one phrase for the rest of your life, what would you say?
L: I’m all like. . . Windmill.
F: If you were an animal, what kind of animal would you be?
Joci chimes in: I think she’s a little bit of a kangaroo.
L: Yeah, maybe, because I could hop around and kick stuff. [We planned to find a Buzzfeed quiz
to get a truthful answer once and for all, but forgot about it. The question remains unanswered to this
day]
F: Any pet peeves?
L: Stepping in water with socks on.
F: Dresses or pants?
L: Pants. For sure. Pants.
Band: Fall Out Boy (tentatively)
F: Any plans for after high school?
Color: Yellow
L: I’ll be in Eau Claire.
Smell: Lilac
Class: PE with Prof. Roehl
Favorites
Where do you see Laura in 10 years?
Joci: She’s living in a glass mansion and she has a huge art studio even though she’s still an amateur.
She spends her mornings trying to make the perfect croissant, but never does.
Olivia: She’ll live in Rice Lake with her handsome husband Leonardo Dicaprio. Every morning they
take a scroll down Akard Street and randomly shout “windmill” and “street ball.”
Calvin: She’s on Saturday Night Live discussing how hippos should be the next genocide victims.
11
The Curious Case of:
Matthew
Thomas
White
Sam Lisak
I am here to unravel the enigma that is Matthew Thomas
White. Besides his brains and obvious good looks, we
want to know what really makes Matthew White. Join me
on a journey into the Heart of Immanuel’s very own.
The Basics Where, When?
Where when what? (Awkward silence ensues) Okay, Honolulu,
Hawaii on December 18, 1997.
How many states have you lived in?
6 (Georgia, New Jersey, Wisconsin, North Carolina, Hawaii,
Maryland)
Which one’s your favorite?
New Jersey, we were 15 minutes away from Six Flags
Thoughts on Matthew Dellevadova?
Probably the greatest basketball player in Cleveland
What’s your best quality?
Everything
There are 30 cows and 28 chickens, how many didn’t?
(Say it aloud)
I refuse to answer
Plans after high school?
Go to UW-Madison, something computer related
Calvin, told me about your plans to dominate the world, care to explain?
(After glaring like a zombie at his tetris game) *Snaps out of trance*Those are top secret so I cannot
elaborate
It was at this time I turned it over to junior Flash reporter Clay Bobek with his first and only Flash
appearance and here is his question.
Clay: What state would you get rid of and why?
Maine, nothing happens there. Think of something important that happened in Maine recently.
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And now we’re back to the real reporters. (Sorry, Clay)
Desert Island, 3 things, go?
Pizza, speedboat, fishing rod.
What does a perfect day look like to you?
Sunny day at an empty amusement park
Where do you see yourself in 10 years?
Taking Over the World
Food: Tacos
Bible Passage: Romans 1:16
Prof: Rodebaugh
Planet: Pluto
2k Team: Atlanta Hawks
Type of Gum: Trident layers
Superhero: Batman
Desert: Sahara
Animal: Lion
Movie: Avengers
Class: Computer 2
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