January 31, 2015 (Stoneybrook)

Jason Sato Presents
Super Clash
VIII
Co-hosted by Twan
January 31, 2015 -Stoneybrook
Super Clash VIII - January 31, 2015. Stoneybrook
At this time last year ALL of the BGA was still coming off the high of The Florida
State Seminoles 3rd National Championship. This year the BGA has something else to
celebrate. It will be the first major under the NewBrass: Chambish and Assmo. The
BGA is in good hands and we look forward to you taking the tour to new heights! The
true spirit of the Super Clash is partying mixed with Golf, thus, a new twist to the
season’s first major will be the first ever BGA Pro-Am. Several BGAers will be
traveling from across the globe to start the weekend’s festivities one day early, while
other BGAers will still be recovering from CJ’s 5 day bender in Lake Tahoe full of
gambling, snow, and white russians….The co-host “The Twan Mahal” will be prepped
and ready for a 2 night Afta Party and Bad Couch promises to show up with a
backpack full of asswah and a suitcase full of “sharpies”. Those of you that survive
Friday night will tackle the famed StoneyBrook golf course Saturday morning, (home
of the infamous “Slap Gate”) compete in the greatest event on tour, and watch a
champion be Lamped! The day’s events will finally culminate at the TM as we
celebrate the best awards ceremony in sports, The Boggsys! See all you suckas there,
good luck to all, and Cheers to the 2015 Super Clash!
- Jason D. Sato
Group 1
Group 5
J Willy 28
TPC4 20
AssMo 28
Pasch 38
NASCAR 4
Grimaldi 11
Bartz 12
Levengood 9
Group 6
Group 2
Bad Couch 12
Dr. Couch 20
Tally Clint 19
Steve Chy 38
Rudy 12
DLB 20
LDS 23
Battle 11
Group 7
Vince 20
Kern 20
Toph 7
McLovin 19
Group 3
Tuls 39
Neuff 34
Farris 27
Erb 39
Group 8
Griz 32
Flynnsy 7
Los 23
J Frank 12
Group 4
Group 9
Chambish 29
T-West 20
Host 10
Twan 21
Big Easy 28
C Reeves 42
6 Ball 17
Patty N. 14
Player Spotlight
TWAN
Boggs Illustrated
April 3, 2010
Vol. 3 Issue 5
5¢
The Year Of
El CapiTwan
50
is a significant number. 1,762, 57.84 and 4.82 are also very important. Why, you ask?
Because this Saturday a legend and the original BGA media darling will tee it up for the 50th time, 1,762 days, 57.84
months, 4.82 years since his last victory. Nation, please take a moment and let this soak in. El Capitwan, the man
who had an entire year named in his honor may see the half century mark of events played without a win. That is
unless he is getting ready to astound us with another legendary run of greatness. A win at SC VIII would end the
streak at 49 and surely spark another incredible season, silencing his critics. The BGA’s first ever champion will tee
it up this weekend knowing that no matter the outcome, he helped elevate the BGA to places it’s members never
thought possible. Living in the spotlight as a BGA media darling can take its toll on a superstar. Finding solace in a
Chesty Larue or the bottom of a bottle is understandable when your going for 3 wins in 1 season, end up +18 and some
guy named Grote swoops in and robs you of your glory. The media spotlight only intensifies when you have the honor
of being named captain of a clearly superior group of Bradenton golfers and a rag tag band of Tampons pull off the
miracle on grass and snatch the most coveted prize in all the BGA from your grasp (AssMo is right there with you on
this one). To make the agony just a little bit more agonizing, since you dawned the coveted TPC jacket, there have
been 10 top 5 finishes including 3 bronze medals and two silvers, both coming at the 3 club, the most recent runner up
extremely tough to swallow. In light of all the close calls and the burning media spotlight that craves a victory, you
have continued to grind it out on tour, knowing that your next win is right around the corner….. Is it? So cheers to
you El Capitwan: Legend, incredible Afta host, media darling, first ever BGA champion, husband and father of the
strongest baby of all time. Here’s to hoping the streak ends at
Details
Tee Time
49
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - 10 am
Green Fees
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - $60
Wager
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - $10
Skins
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - $10
Wade-in
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - $1
AFTA PARTY and BOGGSY’S CEREMONY at THE
TWAN MAJAL – only slightly delayed, the Season
7 Boggsy’s will take place at Twan’s palacial
estate some time following the golf. Stop by to
have a few drinks and to see who takes home the
prestigious awards from Season 7. See who will
give the balcony speech this year. The good Dr.
Couch will be in attendance. If we’re lucky, J
Willy will get off his balls long enough for him to
do a song for us (or two or three or four…)
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
14743 7th Ave NE * Bradenton, FL 34212
Yes, this is the exact same invite as last year with some
Hole-in-1 Pot - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - $1
Tees
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - Blue
8000 Stone Harbour
Loop. Bradenton 34212
minor edits…. Why mess with success? Good luck to all
the brave souls at the AFTA
10 Questions Flynnsy
We caught up with the tour’s favorite ginger and asked
the question everyone wants to know along with 9
others.
1) Do the curtains match the drapes?
You bet your ass they do. But if you bet your
ass they don’t, politely ask your Mother to
bend over and show you the back nine. I’m
fairly certain you’ll find a divot or two from
where I teed off.
2) You played D1 College baseball and were drafted
by the Colorado Rockies, how is it possible that with
all this athleticism you are not a better golfer?
Fact checker. Let me clarify that I was not drafted
by the Rockies. I signed as a free agent, only to
get released a week later. Apparently I was too
much of a liability in that they couldn’t find
provide me with a large enough cup for the family
jewels. Once again, feel free to seek verification
from your Mother.
As for my golf game, slowly
but surely, it's coming along.
3) Membership has it’s benefits. What has the BGA
done for your Rep?
Pshhh... I was pimpin’ long before I joined the
tour. Add that to the fact that I’ve never won a
tournament, I think it’s safe to say that the BGA
has benefited more from me. To the next
tournament winner, would it kill you to thank the
pockets that funded the purse?
4) Is it true that you carry a pet “slug” around
with you everywhere you go?
To provide a little background for the confused,
this question is referring to the day that J.P. (LDS)
gave my magic-maker one of its many nicknames.
It was a Saturday morning, a group of us went out
fishing on the lake. LDS was about to cast his line
when out of his peripheral vision, he caught the
glimpse of something glorious, to the likes of
which he had never seen. “Slug” was the first
thing he blurted out.
5) You are currently on a 7 quote (just 3
points above the lowest allowable), do you
like your chances at SCVIII?
Do I like my chances?!? Really?!? Well let me
ask you this:
Does Farris engage in the occasional
game of patty-cake w/ AssMo?
Does J-Willy not sound like a cross b/w a
young, drunk Hairy Carry & a retarded
Daffy Duck?
Does Les Brown use racial slurs?
Does Rudy have a tendency of wearing a
nice pair of skinny jeans?
The answer to each of these is a resounding
YES
6) Last year you and your wife Anne
welcomed a baby girl Maggie, has
being a father helped or hindered your
golf game?
In all honesty, fatherhood has been a dream
come true. Maggie is an absolute blessing
and I cherish every moment I’m able to spend
with her. In direct response to the question, I
would say being a father has helped. She is
my Happy (Gilmore) thought.
7) While on vacation in Steamboat, the
AssMo had relations with a ginger
named Kaitlyn. Do you think his fetish
has anything to do with you guys
“friendship”?
No homo, but if me and all my redheaded glory
provides my guy (J-ASS-MO) with some added inspiration in
his conquests, I’m honored and all for it. Funny, this story
reminds me of one of his other redheaded encounters which
also took place in the Midwest. Get with the Ass Mo to hear
those details.
8) As a State Attorney in Manatee County, what helpful
advice do you have for members of the BGA to stay safe
leaving an event? #BGACARES
ANY AND ALL CONTENT WITHIN THESE RESPONSES IN NO WAY
CONSTITUTES LEGAL ADVICE. YOU SHOULD ALWAYS CONSULT
WITH A QUALIFIED ATTORNEY REGARDING ANY LEGAL ISSUE,
PROBLEM OR CONCERN. FURTHERMORE, I WOULD STRONGLY
ENCOURAGE ALL CITIZENS OF THIS GREAT STATE TO OBEY THE
LAW.
Furthermore, I’m no longer a prosecutor. I now work in the private
sector for a Bradenton firm dealing with areas of real estate,
transactional/business & some criminal defense.
9) Considering your “fair” complexion how many times do you apply
sunscreen during a BGA round and what SPF do you use?
As an expert in this area, I'm happy to answer this question. On the golf
course, I prefer spray over lotion, & the higher the SPF 100 the better. I
also recommend a long sleeve shirt, neck bandana, hat & sunglasses.
Burn on overcast days? That's a myth.
10) Have you and The Griz buried the hatchet from you
“allegedly” stealing liquor off the beverage cart at
Chambish’s bachelor party?
Was that the reason he was mad? I thought it was due to him
thinking that I was the guilty party dropped the deuce on the
floor of his master bedroom (cough cough…Taylor). Aside
from that, Clark and I are cool. I’m down with the Griz.