Ho, ho, ho.

Ho, ho, ho.
The Illustrated FML
Christmas Book
2010
This is a gift to you.
O
nce upon a time, on a website called fmylife.com, some of the
Internet’s most talented illustrators created their version of an FML
story, inspired by life’s everyday mishaps. Fmylife.com is a collection
of everyday anecdotes and stories likely to happen to anyone and everyone, sent
exclusively by Internet users. This is a space where you can let it all out and
unwind by sharing the little things that screw with your day, and maybe realize
that you are not alone in experiencing day-to-day crap.
It’s true, it’s funny, except when it happens to you.
Enjoy!
Today, my cat brought yet another chipmunk into our house. She never kills them, so they
stay in our house until we either capture them or they escape. So far, she’s brought in three
squirrels, four chipmunks, four mice, and a snake. FML
Simon Tofield
http://www.simonscat.com/
Today, we wrote valentine’s day poems in class. I wrote a very depressing poem about how
I was rejected by all the girls I like and how it hurt to be alone. When it was read to the
class, they laughed and told me it was hilarious. Even the teacher. FML
Jennifer Shiman
http://www.angryalien.com/
Today, I had to go to the police station to pick up my 42 year old dad. Why? He was caught
stealing candy. FML
Evan Diaz
http://PajamaForest.com/
Today, I was teasing my boyfriend telling him that my butt was so much cuter than his
and that at least mine wasn’t smelly stinky or hairy. Then he said yeah, I just wish that
your vag was the same way. FML
Kris Wilson
http://www.explosm.net/
Today, I went to the doctor to check the dark growth I just discovered on my back. It was
chocolate. FML
Michelle Chen
http://michichen.tumblr.com/
Today, my husband of 9 years announced he was gay. He insinuated that he was only able
to achieve erections because I looked like a man. FML
Paul Westover
http://www.woodyafterhours.com/
Today, there was a meeting at work. I had to give a presentation to my boss and the other
attendants. My first subject was on how my 5 year old son got to my briefcase and replaced
the contents of it with crayons and a stuffed teddy bear. FML
Joe Combs
http://www.businesscasualcomic.com/
Today, it’s my birthday. My mom decided to wake me up by having our new, previously
stray, cat thrown on top of me. I was awoken to two claws ripping across my face which
needed 16 stitches to fix. Happy Birthday. FML
Marie Levesque
http://www.leszillusdemissbean.com/
Today, my family threw me a surprise party. I was so surprised I punched my mom in the
face when she screamed SURPRISE! FML
Eric Cobain
http://www.cobainiac.com/
Today, I went to the emergency room. Apparently, when your ex-girlfriend hits you in the
nuts with a bat, it can do some damage. FML
Philippa Rice
http://mycardboardlife.com/
Today, I was helping my dad move into his new house. It’s a 4-bedroom house and he
has three kids so it’s perfect. I was wandering around and noticed that the first bedroom
is his, the second is my older brother’s, the third is my younger sister’s, and the fourth is
an office. I have no room. FML
Becky Dreistadt
http://www.tinykittenteeth.com/
Today, I learned that walking on the sidewalk does not mean that you will not be hit by a
car. FML
Chris Hallbeck
http://www.thebookofbiff.com/
Today, thinking I was being very generous, I lent my jacket to my new co-worker. I guess I
should have checked my pockets before I did, I’m not sure that leaving 3 different flavors
of condoms in them made a good impression. FML
Carter Fort & Paul Lucci
http://www.crookedgremlins.com/
Today, my job application for McDonald’s was rejected. This is the second time. FML
Illustrated by Dean Fraser
http://www.deantfraser.com/
Today, someone in my class wrote ‘erase me if you can’ at the very top of the board, as I am
always tormented about how short I am compared to everyone else. No matter how hard I
tried, I couldn’t reach it. I’m the teacher. FML
Erin Hunting
http://erinhunting.com/
Today, I got home and threw my phone onto my bed as usual. This time it bounced out the
window. FML
Tony Piro
http://www.calamitiesofnature.com/
Today, my boyfriend bought me a voice personalized build-a-bear. I thought he was going
to propose to me through it, only to press the foot of the bear and hear “we should break
up” instead. FML
Sara Bloem
http://risd.digication.com/sarabloem/Home//
Today, I learned when you’re babysitting a 5 year old, and you hear the toilet flush and
then the words “uh oh”, it’s already too late. FML
Barbara Tarr
http://www.babsbabsbabs.com/
Today, when I came home from work, I saw my wife in nothing but black boots and a
Santa hat. My boss and coworker were with me. I now have guys wanting to have a threesome with us. FML
Iris Yan
http://www.pigsinmaputo.blogspot.com/
Today, while I was at my girlfriend’s parents’ house for dinner, and I thought no one
was looking, I picked my nose and put it underneath my chair. Turns out she has a little
brother who found it appropriate to point at me and scream, “Booger monster, Booger
monster!” FML
Andrew Bargeron
http://www.gimetzco.com/
Today, I had misplaced my cell phone. I decided the best course of action would be to dial
the number from my house phone and wait for it to ring to locate it. Somebody answered
when I called. It wasn’t the wrong number and I had a brief conversation with the man
that stole my phone. FML
Dan Long
http://eqcomics.com/
Today, my boyfriend and I were cuddling on his couch when suddenly I tried to get up.
Before I could stand, he grabs onto me and says, “I’m a koala and you’re my eucalyptus
tree!” He then continued to latch onto me for a good five minutes pretending to eat my
hair. FML
Justin White
http://www.jublin.com/
Today, my girlfriends and I got a caricature painting while on a trip in the city. Unfortunately for me, the part of my appearance that the artist decided to exaggerate was my acne.
FML
Lois van Baarle
http://loish.net/
Today, I found out that you can get arrested for holding up a ‘free hugs’ sign. FML
Matthew Inman
http://theoatmeal.com/
Today, I texted my boyfriend saying “Hi.” His response: “I got your best friend
pregnant”. FML
Mike Jacobsen
http://seemikedraw.wordpress.com/
Today, I went to my Homecoming dance. I had a great time until some fat girl kept trying
to dance with my date, even though he politely asked her to stop. I decided to intervene. I
found myself pinned to the floor by a fat girl crushing on my date, who was cheering her
on as she tackled me. FML
Mukpuddy Animation
http://www.mukpuddy.blogspot.com/
Today, my insanely jealous wife flipped out and made me promise never to hug any of
my female friends or go to lunch with them, ever. It’s “cheating.” FML
Viet-My Bui
http://vm-bui.com/
Today, I was acting as Prince Charming for a 5 year old’s birthday party. After my scene
at the ball, the narrator asked the kids, “Was the Prince handsome?” and they all replied
with a chorus of “Nooooo!” FML
Ronnie
http://dannyphantomfreek.deviantart.com/
The End
(Want more? Go to fmylife.com)
Cover illustrated by Michelle Chen - Book design by Alice Amiel & Julien Azarian