death by editors - The Corvallis Advocate

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death by editors - The Corvallis Advocate
The Corvallis Advocate
Death.
Dying.
Dealing.
Free Every Thursday I August 11-18, 2016 I www.corvallisadvocate.com
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2 | Corvallis Advocate
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compassionately
and carefully.
“My commitment is to listen, to empower you with
options, and consider not only your needs today,
but also your interests over the long term.”
The Corvallis Advocate
August 11-18, 2016
Editor/Publisher
Steven J. Schultz
-Karen Misfeldt
Attorney at Law
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Associate Editors
Johnny Beaver
Stevie Beisswanger
310 NW 7th Street • Corvallis
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Senior Writers
Abbie Tumbleson
Joel Hutton
Staff Writers
Kiki Genoa
Anthony Vitale
Kyra Blank
John Burt
Rob Goffins
Sidney Reilly
Tom Baker
Intern Writers
Kara Beu
Kyle Bunnell
Matthew Hunt
Ariadne Wolf
Maxine Agather
Gina Pieracci
Daniel Watkins
What’s Inside This Week?
​​4
Linn-Benton Backwash; As the State
Turns
Design
Bobbi Dickerson
Calendar
Nathan Hermanson
General Manager
5
Editor Reflections of Death
6
Corvallis Death Cafe
7
Petextrian Death Trend
8
Exploring Natural Burial; Death
by Numbers
Melissa Spaulding-Ross
9
Sincerely,
Kate McNutt
Poetree Urn
11Calendar
13 8 Days
Information: kmcik.tumblr.com I (541) 231-5624
Contact us: Box 2700, Corvallis, OR 97339
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The Corvallis Advocate is a free newsweekly with a very diverse staff that
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Corvallis Advocate | 3
As the State Turns
By Johnny Beaver
Homeless Runaround, Fun with Bundys, Prison Pastimes, Feds Chop Weed Case
By Johnny Beaver
Linn-Benton
Backwash
D
Poke Lures, Tunnels, and
Car Chases, Oh My!
o you feel like the intersection of
Seven Mile Lane and Highway 34
needs a light? Congratulations, you’re
like the other 100,000 people that
feel the same way. I personally know
of three people that nearly died in
severe accidents there—three people
that were far luckier than those who
have died (you can’t scroll down in
Google very far without finding an
incident). The long overdue project is
going to cost just over $950,000, which
seems well worth it.
Word on the street is that attendance
to the Benton County Fair & Animal
Roping Extravaganza is way up from
last year—some sources are reporting
as much as a 50% increase. Just think
of how much it will increase next year
once they have permits for putting
LSD in the water supply. Oh, and we
can’t forget the hooker booth.
Some suspicious dude in Lebanon
caught the attention of a police
officer and led him on a chase down
Santiam Highway, then along some
back roads, and vrooom! out onto
another road. He eventually went
through a gate and two fences,
drove into a creek bed, jumped out,
hid in the bushes... aaaaaand... was
taken down by a K9 unit. Not the best
police chase I’ve ever heard of, but a
dog, some fences, and back roads... I
give it a 7.0.
Albany police recently discovered
tunnels and caves dug out in
Simpson Park, suspected to be used
as makeshift homes. They are vast
enough to have destabilized the roots
of several large trees, which now
have to be pulled out and replaced.
A Pokemon Go downtown event
is not something you’d normally
associate with Lebanon, but that
didn’t stop them from stepping up
to the plate, certainly outdoing
Corvallis’ Pokemon-related
interaction. Sponsored by the
Lebanon Downtown Association,
shopkeepers put out “lures,” items
that help spawn Pokemon for
catching in the immediate area,
dragging in customers for sales they
wouldn’t have gotten otherwise. Word
has it that a fairly sizable population
showed up to shop and explore the
downtown.
4 | Corvallis Advocate
Race Runs Around the Homeless
Kevin Hart, the famously tiny (but
not really) comedian has announced
that he will be running the Hood to
Coast relay race, a 198-mile bit of
self-butchery that takes place over
24 hours. The race itself runs from
Mount Hood to Seaside and starts
on the 26th of this month. There will
be a ton of other non-famous people
participating, soaking up the golden
rays of the sun, breathing fresh air...
totally avoiding a bunch of homeless
people. Wait, what?
Apparently the organizers, with a
few flicks of the wrist, altered the
route so the runners wouldn’t go any
closer than 40 blocks away from the
Springwater Corridor Trail—a place
that is currently home to hundreds
of homeless people. Charlie Hales,
omniscient mayor of Portland, had
originally planned to wipe the trail
clean of campers, but it has been
delayed.
There’s been a lot of chatter on the
comment boards about this decision,
but I don’t personally see much of
a stance to be had. It’s obvious why
they moved the race, and I think it’d
be hard to argue that it’s some kind
of dastardly deed. That said, I think
it’s a great reminder that there
are people out there struggling to
survive, while others have the free
time to just run.
Bundys Gone Wild
Last week, US District Court Judge
Rob E. Jones dropped the bomb of
all bombs: the Malheur goofballs all
received special accommodations
as a direct result of their collective
complaining about the lockup
accommodations. So what were
they? Secret, unmonitored
meetings.
In the case of most criminal
circumstances this might
seem a bit... shall we say,
against protocol... but with
these a*sclowns? What are
Ammon and Ryan going to
do with said time, play hide
the pickle? I can see it now...
Ammon: Hey guy, how you
doin’?
Ryan: Hey guy, how you doin’?
Ammon: I asked you first!
Ryan: I asked you first!
Ammon: STOP DOING THAT...
Ryan: STOP DOING THAT...
Ammon: I’m a turd.
Ryan: I know you are.
*Ammon punches Ryan*
Speaking of Prison...
The Oregon State Penitentiary was
placed on lockdown on the 7th due to
over 150 inmates getting into fights.
No rioting, just fights. Sorry.
Is it gang-related? Are people pissed
they didn’t get a sweet deal like
the Bundy gang? Did the kitchen
run out of chocolate pudding?
Smokescreen for an escape? The
world may never know. Though I
suppose they would eventually find
out if it was an escape, since prisons
tend to count their inmates.
According to The Statesman
Journal, 155 inmates were tossed
in solitary confinement. Very few
injuries were reported, none of
which
were lifethreatening.
Oregon Pot-Buying
Teen: Charges Dismissed
Last week federal prosecutors
mumbled, “Yeah, OK whatever,
dismiss it” in a marijuana
possession case involving a 19-yearold. The teen, Devondre Thomas,
was somehow caught buying a gram
for 20 bone from a fellow student at
Salem’s Chemawa Indian School.
Facing a possible one year of jail
time, a lot of people got really pissed
off. This resulting in several letters
from high-end Oregon politicians
being sent to Oregon’s U.S.
Attorney.
The charge will remain dismissed
as long as Thomas attends school
or works, and also avoids breaking
laws for a period of two months.
I think there’s a very important
lesson to be learned here for all of
us—don’t buy pot in front of the
feds.
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Death by Editors Reflections from Those That Make the Cuts
T
he old saw suggesting writers
kill their darlings can lead to any
amount of debate over variation and
attribution, but in the end, you can’t
pen for a living without some beloved
passages being unceremoniously
dispatched to the ether by an
editor somewhere. And yes, we’re
misappropriating said saw for the
moment to suggest a writer’s revenge—
an assignment only for editors, to write
in restricted word count on death.
Stevie Beisswanger, Associate Editor
Death Open-Ended
Death and beauty were themes
strangely interwoven through my
teenage years. My
mom married Don
the taxidermist, and
my first love would
become his one
apprentice. I used to
watch him salt the
hides—scrape away
life’s residues.
Taxidermy is a curious art. The smell
of death and the chemical covering of
it grew constant. I became accustomed
to piles of deer in the driveway, their
suspended carcasses split open for all to
see.
I never once accompanied a hunt; I had
a distaste for creature keepsakes, that
king-of-the-jungle complex. Their fake,
lifeless eyes did little to inspire me, yet
a certain beauty presented itself in their
faces and fashioned hides—traces of
former grace.
The loss of my young cousin was the first
to feel undeserved. His casket revealed
an unfamiliar face. His skin was cold,
like clay. I felt for certain he’d gone
somewhere else. Though I never cared to
guess where.
At age 14, I stumbled upon past life
hypnosis and its mystical healing
powers. I gorged on studies and
techniques, and soon began practicing on
my friends. Regardless of whether what
they experienced was real, their tales
were fascinating; Something numinous
lingered there, where they traveled.
In college I found familiarity in Plato’s
accounts of Socrates, as he awaited and
welcomed death row... If death begets
nothingness, eternity is unbeknownst.
If death brings transcendence, I would
surely welcome the journey, while
denying any road map. I’d rather death
be open-ended—that my superstitions
remain humble and uncertain.
After a quarter century of living, I feel
death impending—the inevitability
of significant loss. I have yet to be
weathered by a bitterness in wake,
or to face my own mortality. (I’m
counting on a few more years of illusory
invincibility.)
My only faith is in infinity—not in the
trend of girls wearing the symbol on
T-shirts or necklaces, but more like what
drew me to M. C. Escher’s art work, his
hands drawing hands drawing hands.
I am only certain of the double loop
of life and death, of polar ties and the
crossroads of changing seasons. I don’t
presume to know the meaning of life and
death. My fragmented consciousness can
only skim the sciences behind our being.
Steven Schultz, Editor-in-Chief
Reaper Be Damned
Even as a child I never really approved
of death and its petty, greedy hatred
of limitlessness.
In my 20s I would
sometimes dare
the reaper, but
that only left me a
hangover of stupid,
colorful stories and
survivor’s guilt.
In my mid-30s,
I was sick for a year, and there were
tests for things that could have been
awful, but there was also an enhanced
appreciation of everything. As health
returned, however, the banalities of life’s
hot-diggity switch game again overtook
whatever focus I had gained.
In my 40s, I would lose my father at age
69, though both his parents had lived
into their 90s. About a year before, he’d
tried a surgery and chemo, but the lung
cancer proved inexorable. He didn’t need
to work, but he chose to continue. He
also decided on a few things he wanted to
do before dying—he kept it simple. If you
casually asked him how he was doing,
he would change the subject and ask you
the same.
While my dad was stoic about dying, he
allowed my stepmom to drag him to a
parade of specialists; he felt awful for
her. We all endured my brother trying to
take charge of things, or my step-sister
trying to spin everything positive—my
father’s patience with all of this was
sublime. My takeaway at that point: our
deaths are not personal, they are about
how we remain in those that we leave
behind.
In my 50s now, and having adult
children, I still think there is a large
amount of truth in that. Conversely,
I can’t reconcile the reaper having
authority to end playtime at his or her
own damn will, the motherf*cker; I do
take that pretty damn personally. But
then, I haven’t a clue how I’ll feel when
my time comes.
Johnny Beaver, Associate Editor
Death’s Design
My sister was in a car accident that
killed her back in 2003. There’s not much
I don’t remember
about that day, or
the following several
weeks. Lots of food,
the mind trying to
feel better again
only to be sucked
back down into the
understanding that
this was real, it had
happened. We had a party instead of a
funeral; I didn’t attend. I haven’t grieved
that hard over anything since. Was it
because it was her, or because it was my
first time?
Our Films Suck Less.
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A couple of years ago my grandfather
died of Alzheimer’s, having long since
become somebody else,Amer
reduced
to a nigh
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speechless shell of a person—a shell that
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At the time of his death, I wasn’t sure
who I remembered more... him as he was
in the past, or as he was right then. A
bit later another grandfather died, who
I barely knew; I can remember feeling
disturbed at my lack of reaction.
Last November, an ex-girlfriend I
had been very close to lay down on
some train tracks in Orlando and let
herself be run over. She was a brilliant
artist in possession of a one-of-a-kind
creative mind, a mind torn apart by
schizophrenia and drug abuse. In these
sorts of situations people often question
whether they could have done anything
or not. I know that my personal answer
here is no, but it doesn’t help.
Within the last few weeks, a distant
cousin’s two-year-old drowned in their
pool.
I was asked to write about death, and it
seems my experience is just a series of
events. I don’t feel like I have any insight
or philosophical treasure to share. I don’t
believe in the comfort of an afterlife. The
only silver lining seems to be the fact
that we are designed to eventually move
on, and that one doesn’t have to forget to
do so. I know I won’t ever take that for
granted.
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Corvallis Advocate | 5
Corvallis Death Café GroupLocals Talk Death
By Abbie Tumbleson
I
n America, we’re pretty quick to
ask fellow humans how they’re
doing, what their day was like, or
throw them an ever-so-casual “What’s
up?” But why are we so guarded
or squeamish when it comes to
discussing death and dying? Despite
a general discomfort in talking
about death, there’s a small group of
individuals in Corvallis who discuss
the topic regularly.
Hard on Bugs,
Soft on You!
goodearthpest.com
(541) 753-7233
Death Café Corvallis gathers on
Wednesdays, either at noon or in
the evening at 6 p.m., to talk about
Helping you find the home of your all things death-related. The group’s
guiding principles are respect,
dreams
over for
60 over
years.
ou find the home
of yourfor
dreams
50 yrs.
openness, and confidentiality, and
while participants are invited to talk
death, the group isn’t a support group,
debate society, sales pitch, religious or
anti-religious organization, nor does
it have
therapeutic
Helping you find the home of your dreams
for aover
50 yrs. agenda. Rather,
curious individuals are invited to
Helping you find the home of your dreams for“drink
over 50coffee,
yrs. eat cake, and discuss
death with interesting people.”
A Local Family Business
D I V E
I N T O
Helping families find their first home, as well as
their next home since 1951.
SUMMER
The local Death Café group was
started by Jon Louis Dorbolo,
Dont’ wait! Find the home
associate director of Technology
you’ve been looking for today
at www.tncrealty.com, or stop
Across the Curriculum (TAC) and
by our office to speak with one
philosophy instructor at Oregon
of our experienced real estate
brokers. Town & Country Realty,
State University. Dorbolo has taught
we can help!
V philosophy
E I N T Oat OSU for over 20 years,
is in D
theIair
Dwhere
I V E
I N T Ohis students
Helping families find their first home, as well as
he encourages
their next home since 1951.
toFind
take
concepts that are covered in
wait!
the home
Albany Office Dont’
you’ve been
looking
for today
Office
the
course
and apply them to real
1117 Pacific Blvd SEat www.tncrealty.com,
Dont’ wait! Find
or stopthe home
er Ave
life.
He
often
in these
by
our
office
to
speak
with
one
541-924-5616
you’ve been lookingparticipates
for today
1781
of our experienced
real estate
exercises
with his
students, which
at
www.tncrealty.com,
or
stop
brokers. Town & Country Realty,
our office to him
speakto
with
one the local Death
prompted
start
help!
is in the airwe canby
of Café
our experienced
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gatherings.
Dorbolo pointed out,
brokers.
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Country
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however,
Death
we can help!
isn’tOffice
supported by or affiliated with
Corvallis
Office Office
Albany Office Albany
Corvallis
455 NW Tyler Ave
1117 Pacific Blvd 1117
SE OSU.
Pacific Blvd SE
455 NW Tyler Ave
541-757-1781
541-924-5616
Spring
SUMMER
SUMMER
Spring
www.tncrealty.com
541-924-5616
541-757-1781
“I try every term to do these realAlbany
Office
world
activities
myself so that I may
1117my
Pacific
Blvd SE as a co-learner
share
experiences
www.tncrealty.com
541-757-1781
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with541-924-5616
the class. As much as I love
541-757-1781
541-924-5616
the abstractness of philosophy, I
constantly seek ways to actualize
www.tncrealty.com
it in the concrete world,” Dorbolo
explained.
www.tncrealty.com
Corvallis Office
Corvallis
OfficeOffice
Albany
Office
Albany
Office
www.tncrealty.com
455 Corvallis
NW
455 Tyler
NW Tyler Ave
Ave
1117 Pacific Blvd SE
like The Beanery and Interzone on
Monroe.
Dorbolo’s former student Adrian
Clement co-founded the local
Death Café. Clement was studying
the philosophy of biology, and he
and Dorbolo engaged in several
conversations about the concepts of
life and death.
“For the first few months it was just
Adrian and I meeting weekly for
conversation and to plan the Corvallis
Death Café. Word of mouth promoted
other folks to attend our weekly
meetings,” Dorbolo said.
Dorbolo first discovered what Death
Cafés were a few years back, while
working on a master’s degree in
psychology.
“In 2013, I wrote a paper relating
the process of grieving to concepts
in the Tibetan book Bardo Thodol,
popularly known as The Tibetan Book
of the Dead. Researching the concept
of ‘grief’ led me to the work of Swiss
sociologist Bernard Cretaz, whom I
found had established the first café
mortel in Neuchâtel, Switzerland in
2004,” said Dorbolo.
Similar sessions spread across Europe
and a Death Café organization started
in London in 2010, according to
Dorbolo. The first Death Café group
he became aware of in America was in
Columbus, Ohio, in 2013.
“When I read about the Death Café
movement I recognized the potential
for actualizing my thinking about the
concept of death,” Dorbolo said.
Dorbolo says the social “hardness”
of talking about death is one point
that most participants express at the
meetings.
www.tncrealty.com
www.tncrealty.com
The first Death Café Corvallis
meeting was held in the fall of 2014.
The group has been meeting regularly
since March 2015 at local coffee shops
“Some [participants] say that
they have never had sustained
conversations about death, or that
in their families and friendships, the
topic is out of bounds, even when
someone close to them dies,” said
Dorbolo. “It is this ‘taboo’ character
of the topic that prompted Cretaz to
start his café mortel.”
Dorbolo also takes a different view
on the matter of death and believes
people communicate about death a
lot in American culture. “But that
communication comes to us through
specific media in conventional forms,”
he said.
A large percentage of movies and
television shows include death as a
subject, for example.
“Death is not taboo in that it is absent
from our discourse. What is missing
is dialogue on the topic of death.
That is what Death Café Corvallis
provides—a venue to enable you to
voice your own thoughts and listen to
others about ideas and issues related
to death,” said Dorbolo.
One common change the local
professor has observed in participants
is the enlargement of the scope
of their concept of death—several
participants have said death is a far
larger topic than they realized.
Dorbolo welcomes anyone to attend
Corvallis Death Café. His role as a
facilitator at the meetings is to ensure
a safe and smart space for dialogue
about death to occur. Gatherings
are non-programmed, meaning that
there are no set topics or prescribed
procedures.
If you’re interested in the Corvallis
Death Café, you can find out more
by joining the Facebook group
at www.facebook.com/groups/
deathcafecorvallis/ or by sending an
email to deathcafecorvallis@gmail.
com.
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Petextrian Death Trend Threatens
America’s YouthDoom’s Data Plan
By Kiki Genoa
Z
ombies are walking our streets. But
unlike the zombies we’re used to
seeing on TV and in the movies, these
day-walking numbskulls rely on digital
technology.
According to numerous studies conducted
over the past year, pedestrian deaths are
at an all-time high. But unlike the streetwalking casualties of old, these people
are not getting run over by drunk drivers.
Due to an overwhelming obsession with
their smartphones, and, more recently,
the phenomenon known as Pokémon Go,
they’re tripping over sidewalks, walking
into signs, into oncoming traffic, and
sometimes into each other.
Coined “digital deadwalkers” in a series
of PSAs that have been distributed
via TV and radio since last year which
humorously, though perhaps not
effectively, attempted to stress the
dangers of so-called “distracted walking,”
this army of young tech-savvy idiots
put themselves in danger with every
step they take. After decades of decline,
pedestrian fatalities are once again on
the rise, but this time, “petextrians” are
to blame.
A 2015 study conducted by Ohio State
University reported that the percentage
of pedestrians killed while using cell
phones increased from less than 1%
in 2004 to more than 3.5% in 2010. A
report from the Governors Highway
Safety Association shows that pedestrian
deaths have increased 15% since 2009,
and walkers distracted as they text on
mobile phones are one of the main causes
for this increase. Since 2010, two million
pedestrian injuries were related to cell
phone use while walking. In 2013, 4,735
pedestrian fatalities were recorded.
Cell phone use has increased eightfold
over the past 15 years. The rise in
deaths caused by a phenomenon called
“distracted walking” has paralleled this
increase, suggesting that distracted
walking deaths and injuries are likely a
direct result of increased cell phone use.
The term “petextrian,” coined recently by
users of the Urban Dictionary, combines
the words pedestrian and texting to
describe, in the libretti of one wordsmith,
“someone who’s texting while walking,
and is completely oblivious to what’s
going on around them—people [who]
have a tendency to walk into things like
parking meters, light poles, and fall down
stairs.”
Several cases of horrific petextrian
deaths gained publicity in recent months.
On Christmas Day, 33-year-old Joshua
Burwell of Indiana fell to his death after
using his smartphone to photograph
a sunset on the edge of a 60-foot cliff
while on vacation in San Diego. Nearby
lifeguards reported a man who wasn’t
watching where he was walking and
instead was concentrating on his phone.
Last May, a 68-year-old Texas woman
visiting Philadelphia crossed a busy
Chinatown street while looking down
at her iPad and was promptly hit by an
amphibious duck boat filled with tourists.
She died of head injuries soon after.
Significant efforts have been made on
the part of both the U.S. government and
national organizations promoting public
safety. The nationwide spike in deaths
caused by walking and texting prompted
the federal government to offer $2 million
in grants to various cities to combat what
they called a “minor epidemic.”
One such city, Philadelphia, launched
a rather humorous campaign last year
called “Road Safety, Not Rocket Science.”
Campaign workers urged pedestrians,
particularly young people, to stay safe on
the streets by giving them the message
to “pick your head up and put your phone
down,” while issuing over 400 mock
tickets to people they found walking
“distractedly” around the city.
In June, which was National Safety
Month, several nationwide organizations
worked to reduce deaths by texting by
improving distracted-walking awareness,
and last year, the National Safety
Council or NSC— America’s leading
authority on the endless dangers present
in everyday life— published a section on
the safety threat of distracted walking
for the very first time in its annual Injury
Facts Statistical Report.
It’s unclear whether the well-meaning
efforts of various do-gooders can truly
convince even one of these zombie
millennials to look up from their cell
phones in time to escape a grisly death.
One problem may be the fact that it’s not
just jaywalkers sending tweets who end
up in the emergency room. According to
some widely reported and rather baffling
statistics released by the 2015 NSC
report, more than half of unintentional
deaths and injuries from distracted
walking involving mobile phone use
actually occur at home. Apparently all
multi-tasking is dangerous, which the
NSC has stressed in various publications.
A paper entitled “Understanding the
Distracted Brain” was included in
the NSC’s 2015 Accident Analysis
and Prevention Report, describing
multitasking as a “myth” due to the fact
that it takes our brains a few tenths of
a second to switch gears, thus slowing
down reaction time when trying to
perform two or more actions at once.
Perhaps the most pertinent piece of
evidence proving that humans are simply
too stupid to walk and text at the same
time is the fact that we are in denial that
we even do such a thing on a regular
basis.
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While 78% of adults surveyed in 2015 by
the American Academy of Orthopaedic
Surgery (AAOS) said they believed
distracted walking is a “serious issue,”
only 29% admitted to having ever
engaged in such activity themselves.
Three-fourths of Americans stated
that only “other people” walked while
distracted, and, similarly, while 85%
claimed to have witnessed people using
smartphones while walking, only 28%
said they’d ever done so on their own.
The trend in the AAOS study continued
with 90% of people arguing that they
frequently saw others talking on the
phone while walking, and only 37%
admitting to have done so themselves.
What’s more, people don’t seem to take
the issue seriously—and really, how
could anyone? While 46% of Americans
surveyed by AAOS said they thought
distracted walking was dangerous, the
exact same number felt that it was just
“embarrassing, in a silly way.” Half of
all millennials ages 16 to 34—and 22%
of people of all ages—said they thought
distracted walking was, quite simply,
“funny.”
One can only hope that improved public
awareness of the petextrian danger
phenomenon will eventually convince
people that waiting to text, tweet, or snap
a selfie till one can sit down in a safe
place is the right thing to do. Don’t be a
petextrian, guys. Even though not texting
while you walk around might seem about
as uncool to you as riding a bike with a
helmet, it just might keep you alive.
Corvallis Advocate | 7
Death au Naturel
By Abbie Tumbleson
Exploring Natural Burial and Cremation
L
Death by
Numbers
Benton County’s 2015
By Stevie Beisswanger
Death Toll, Crunched
D
eath weighs heavy—not only on
the hearts and minds of those
left behind, but literally. Bodies mean
mass, and burials mean massive bills.
To understand the weight of what’s left
behind by our region’s deceased, here
is last year’s death toll in Benton County,
crunched.
Preliminary reports from 2015 mark a
total of 550 deaths in Benton County.
That’s 550 bodies needing burial space
or cremation, along with respective
costs. According to local funeral and
cremation service provider McHenry
Funeral Home, the average cost of
a funeral is $5,000. If each of the 550
deceased had an average funeral last
year, the combined costs would be in
the $2.75 million range.
An average burial plot is around two
and a half feet wide by eight feet long.
For Benton County’s 550 deceased,
that’s roughly 11,000 square feet of
ground space, or roughly five times
the floor space of an average threebedroom home.
The remains of a cremated adult
male average 6 pounds; 4 pounds
for females. If all 550 deceased were
cremated, the combined ashes would
weigh about 2,750 pounds, figuring on 5
pounds per body. The combined mass
would be equal in weight to a Plymouth
Voyager, or about half as much as a
fully grown giraffe.
friendly funeral directors at McHenry
Funeral Home in Corvallis.
osing a loved one is tough. Families
are usually tasked with making
end-of-life arrangements and other notso-fun decisions as they’re grieving and
mourning. A good number of funeral
service businesses encourage people to
fill out their end-of-life requests and
wishes before they die to help make the
process easier for all parties involved.
But, death can happen unexpectedly,
or financial situations can change,
which can impact the amount of money
someone wants to—or can afford to—
spend on funeral and burial services.
The price tags for funeral services can
be alarming for those who aren’t aware
of average costs. A traditional funeral in
the U.S., which usually includes funeral
home services, burial, and a headstone,
costs between $7,000 to $10,000,
according to Parting.com. The average
cost of a direct cremation, which doesn’t
include funeral services, runs between
$600 and $3,000.
Factoring in all those expenses can be
alarming for a person who is still alive,
or for families who are left to pay the
funeral bills. On top of it all is a growing,
alternative trend: natural burial and
“A regular burial is about $3,000, which
is what you’d pay for a casket and vault,”
Folger said. “There are a lot more ‘green’
cremations than ‘green’ burials.”
Burial vaults surround a casket or urn
in the ground or in a tomb, and are
made of concrete or other materials. The
vaults are used in most “traditional”
funerals, according to the Federal Trade
Commission. While some cemeteries may
require vaults or grave liners to be used,
they’re often not required by state laws.
Burial methods using wooden coffins
or urns made of natural materials, for
example, are “more nature-friendly,”
according to Folger.
cremation. To be buried “naturally”
typically means that a body doesn’t go
through the embalming process and that
the casket, urn, or vessel for the body
or cremated remains is placed in the
ground without a vault or grave liner.
The costs of a natural burial or
cremation can run you about the same
amount of money as a traditional burial,
according to Rachael Folger, one of the
8 | Corvallis Advocate
Natural coffins vary in price, but,
according to a quick Google search, you
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These figures are disproportionate to
those deceased under the age of 18.
Last year, there were two infant deaths
and two deaths of children between
ages 10 and 17. Of the 550 deceased,
most were found to be from natural
causes—approximately 501. Ten lives
were taken via suicide and one via
homicide, compared with neighboring
Linn County, which saw 20 suicides and
four homicides, but whose total death
count more than doubled our own at
1,279 deceased.
Other causes of death were
unintended injuries, taking a total of
33 lives in Benton County in 2015, and
undetermined intent, claiming three
lives. Thankfully, no lives were lost due to
legal intervention.
McHenry Funeral Home offers a
selection of natural coffins and urns to
clients. And funeral directors can help
families find cemeteries and memorial
parks that permit natural burials,
like Oaklawn Memorial Cemetery
in Corvallis, in certain areas of the
cemetery.
or visit us at:
CorvallisArtsWalk.com or
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(541) 224-1467
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can buy a simple and natural pine box
on Etsy for around $625.
“There definitely are a lot more options,
even with ‘green’ burials and memorial
parks, since the mid-2000s,” said Folger.
Another option for those who are into the
“natural” way of passing is to forego the
placement of a headstone at a gravesite
and place a rock, tree, or flowers near
the grave instead.
Cynthia Beal, the founder of the Natural
Burial Company, located here in Oregon,
says the choice to be buried or cremated
is a personal decision. She has worked
in sustainable agriculture and natural
foods all of her life, and said it was a
natural next step to enter the trade of
burying people naturally, the way they
were born.
People can choose from a wide
selection of products on the Natural
Burial Company website. A shroud,
for example, is a frugal and simple
alternative to an urn or coffin. The
Natural Burial Company sells an
organic cotton shroud for less than $300
at funerals.naturalburialcompany.com.
There are also biodegradable urn options
for those who choose the cremation
route. You could go with a Himalayan
salt urn, a box made from pressed
recycled paper, or an urn shaped like
an acorn made from recycled paper and
other natural fibers. Once buried, the
From Dust to... Boxwoods?Better Biodegradable Urns
By John M. Burt
any people, when dealing with
a death in the family, opt for
M
cremation. The Cremation Association
of North America has noted an
upward trend in people choosing
cremation over burial, predicting that
by 2025, over half of Americans will
favor cremations: approximately 56%.
The lid is imprinted with the name of
the deceased, and any other text the
family desires, in a circle around a cork
stopper in the middle. Also provided
will be a small potted boxwood
sapling.
French designer Margaux Ruyant has
introduced a sleek biodegradable
urn, slated to be available for public
purchase later this year. Dissatisfied
with existing biodegradable urns,
Ruyant created Poetree, an urn much
better conceived than its name.
The urn is meant to be used in a threepart ritual. First, the urn is placed in a
desired setting, such as a mantle, shelf,
or table. The family can keep the urn
this way for as long as they choose,
until they are ready for the next phase,
when the stopper is removed and
the boxwood sapling in its cork pot is
nestled in the ashes.
Poetree is an attractive bowl-shaped
urn made of cork with a ceramic lid.
The boxwood will soon grow beyond
the pot, sending its roots into the
fibers decompose rapidly. The salt urn is
supposed to dissolve within four hours
when placed in water, and the cremated
remains are dispersed according to the
product description.
issues of cemetery management in the
21st century. Beal works with students
and researchers at the university’s
Sustainable Cemetery Studies Lab.
In addition to founding the Natural
Burial Company, Beal operates Rest
Lawn Memorial Park. She’s also
working on a program for sustainable
cemetery management with Oregon
State University. The program, which
Beal says is the first of its kind in the
world, will help to address the complex
“There’s a scientific way to answer
questions about bodies being checked
for contaminants, chemicals, drugs,
etc.,” Beal said. “I would say that the
goal of the lab at OSU is to identify
the questions [to ask] and to interest
researchers into looking into answers,
because we have not yet asked the most
important questions.”
ashes, and providing the family or
next of kin with a new, lively focus.
When it’s ready, the urn can be taken
outside and planted in the yard, or
in some other suitable location. The
tree will grow to its full size, its roots
expanding beyond the urn as the cork
biodegrades and the ashes become
one with the soil. The ceramic lid
will remain, surrounding the tree, as
a permanent grave marker for the
deceased.
Margaux Ruyant’s Poetree urn
is expected to be available for
public purchase in late 2016. For
more information, visit https://
poetreecreations.org/poetree/.
With so many options for natural burial
and cremation at one’s fingertips, it
seems like a nice thought to leave this
world naturally, which could in turn
help out the Earth and our environment,
and ease pressures like the need for
more property for living populations.
But it’s your death, your funeral,
and your burial—or lack thereof—so
do it your way. (Come on. We know
you’ve been eyeing that biodegradable,
handcrafted turtle vessel made from
recycled paper …)
UPCOMING
EVENTS
AUG.
19, 20,
26, 27
7:30 pm
AUG.
21 & 28
2:30pm
VANYA AND SONIA AND
MASHA AND SPIKE
Chekhov is alive and well in Bucks County,
PA, where adult siblings Vanya and Sonia
reside in their family home, mourning their
lost dreams and missed opportunities.
When their movie star sister, Masha,
arrives unexpectedly with young, sexy,
boy toy, Spike, the family is launched into
a rollicking weekend of one-upmanship,
exposed nerves, and a lot of broken
mugs.
Tickets $14-16
AUG.
28
IMPRESSIONISM
MAJESTIC READER’S THEATRE COMPANY
Katharine owns an gallery where she
and her assistant Thomas hide from
3pm & 7pm life-stalling disappointments. He suffers
from the photographer’s equivalent
of writer’s block and she from a failed
relationship with a contemporary artist.
The paintings on the wall of the gallery
form an impressionist’s view of Katherine
and Thomas’ lives, and the history that
determines their relationship. Is life more
like realism or impressionism? It helps if you
step back a bit to view it.
Dr. Kurt S. Black
relax.restore.rejuvenate.
OSU Bard in
the Quad
Cosmetic, Implant + Restorative Dentistry
Tickets $10-12
SEPT.
9 & 10
7:30pm
By combining high tech dentistry with spa-like amenities,
L’AFFAIRE MINOU
AN EVENING OF CLASSICAL ART SONG AND DANCE
Child-poet, Minou Drouet, astounded
the French Academics with her poems,
which were soon published in English “My
First Poems.” Her eloquence of verse
and prose proved her incredible talent.
Composer Dean Kennedy has set her
words to music, creating an evening
of classical Art Song with vocals by
Willamette Valley singers. Featuring local
musicians and dancers from Willamette
Apprentice Ballet.
Tickets $14-16
For Tickets visit www.majestic.org
or call: 541-738-7469
Dr. Black and his team will make your visit more relaxed
TIMBERHILL
than you ever thought possible. A tasty cappuccino,
satellite TV, cozy blankets, and even a paraffin wax dip all
serve to make your visit special and unique.
COMPLIMENTARY CONSULTATIONS & SECOND OPINIONS!
Kurt S. Black DDS PC 541.754.0144 timberhilldental.com 2356 NW Professional Dr. Corvallis, OR 97330
Corvallis Advocate | 9
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1665 SE 3rd Street, South Town Corvallis
o p e n d a i l y 1 0 a m - 1 0 p m . m e n u a t w w w. T h e A g r e s t i c . c o m
10 | Corvallis Advocate
CALENDAR
Thursday, Aug. 11
Thirsty Thursday Trivia. Deluxe
Brewing Company, 635 NE Water Ave.,
Albany. 7 p.m. No cover, but 21+. Teambased trivia happening every Thursday.
Show off your smarts while enjoying craft
beverages at Deluxe Brewing Company.
Each night, the top two teams will win
prizes. For info, visit www.sinisterdeluxe.
com.
8/4-8/11
Yoga – Bring a Friend for Free.
Live Well Studio, 971 Spruce Ave. 5:30 –
6:30 p.m. Free. All levels welcome. For info,
visit www.livewellstudio.com.
Emerson Vineyards Friday Night
Music. Emerson Vineyards, 11665 Airlie
Rd., Monmouth. 6 – 9 p.m. Cost: $7.50
plus a can of food. “Froggie” Hyland and
“Zorro” Zane will perform. For info, visit
www.emersonvineyards.com.
Imagine Coffee Open Mic. Imagine
Coffee, 5460 SW Philomath Blvd. 7 – 9 p.m.
Free. For info, visit www.imaginecoffee.net.
The Road Sodas. Imagine Coffee, 5460
SW Philomath Blvd. 7 – 9 p.m. Free. For
info, visit www.imaginecoffee.net.
Bard in the Quad: Love’s Labour’s
Lost. Memorial Union Quad, 2501
SW Jefferson Way. 7:30 p.m. Cost: $15
general admission, $10 students and
seniors, $5 for OSU students. Oregon State
University’s popular Bard in the Quad
program returns for its 11th season in
August with a production of Shakespeare’s
witty and romantic Love’s Labour’s Lost.
Performances will be held at 7:30 p.m.
Aug. 11 to 14 on OSU’s Memorial Union
Quad. Bard in the Quad brings innovative
Shakespeare productions to Corvallis
in a casual, fun summer atmosphere.
Performances are held outdoors and
no seating is provided. Attendees are
encouraged to bring low lawn chairs and/
or blankets, warm clothing, and a picnic
dinner if desired. Seating begins at 6:30
p.m. and no one will be seated prior to that
time. For info, visit www.bardinthequad.org.
Bard in the Quad: Love’s Labour’s
Lost. Memorial Union Quad, 2501
SW Jefferson Way. 7:30 p.m. Cost: $15
general admission, $10 students and
seniors, $5 for OSU students. Oregon State
University’s popular Bard in the Quad
program returns for its 11th season in
August with a production of Shakespeare’s
witty and romantic Love’s Labour’s Lost.
Performances will be held at 7:30 p.m.
Aug. 11 to 14 on OSU’s Memorial Union
Quad. Bard in the Quad brings innovative
Shakespeare productions to Corvallis
in a casual, fun summer atmosphere.
Performances are held outdoors and
no seating is provided. Attendees are
encouraged to bring low lawn chairs and/
or blankets, warm clothing, and a picnic
dinner if desired. Seating begins at 6:30
p.m. and no one will be seated prior to that
time. For info, visit www.bardinthequad.org.
Free Range Open Mic. Bombs Away
Café, 2527 NW Monroe Ave. 8:30 p.m.
Free. In the spirit of fostering camaraderie
in the Corvallis music scene and creation
of new bands/projects, we give you Free
Range Open Mic Night. This rotating event
will move between Bombs Away Cafe and
Cloud & Kelly’s Public House on alternating
dates so that it occurs twice per month. It
is our hope that the event will settle down
to be on Thursday nights, but we’ll see
what works best for all involved. It is our
hope that this event will fill the three most
sacred purposes of open mic nights: Giving
new artists encouragement to keep playing
and learn how to play in front of others.
Getting area musicians to drink together,
play together, and thus form new bands.
And creating a scene of musicians who care
about other musicians by giving them a
reason and place to socialize. Steve Hunter
will be signing people up starting at 7 p.m.
For info, visit www.bombsawaycafe.com. Cascade Rye. Calapooia Brewing
Company, 140 NE Hill St. 8 p.m. Free. For
info, visit www.calapooiabrewing.com.
Friday, Aug. 12
Bard in the Quad: Love’s Labour’s
Lost. Memorial Union Quad, 2501
SW Jefferson Way. 7:30 p.m. Cost: $15
general admission, $10 students and
seniors, $5 for OSU students. Oregon State
University’s popular Bard in the Quad
program returns for its 11th season in
August with a production of Shakespeare’s
witty and romantic Love’s Labour’s Lost.
Performances will be held at 7:30 p.m.
Aug. 11 to 14 on OSU’s Memorial Union
Quad. Bard in the Quad brings innovative
Shakespeare productions to Corvallis
in a casual, fun summer atmosphere.
Performances are held outdoors and
no seating is provided. Attendees are
encouraged to bring low lawn chairs and/
or blankets, warm clothing, and a picnic
dinner if desired. Seating begins at 6:30
p.m. and no one will be seated prior to that
time. For info, visit www.bardinthequad.org.
Toney Rocks. Calapooia Brewing
Company, 140 NE Hill St., Albany. 8 p.m.
Free. For info, visit www.calapooiabrewing.
com.
Cherry and the Lowboys. Bombs
Away Café, 2527 NW Monroe Ave. 9:30
p.m. Cost: $5. Cherry and the Lowboys
serve up greasy grooves inspired by classic
hot rod culture. These raucous and rowdy
tunes are designed to get your motor
running HOT. With the incomparable Cherry
on drums and her Lowboys out front, this
trio delivers original rockabilly and blues
that will have you shakin’ like bacon at
speeds that are more than just a little
bit dangerous. It’s time to party, Slick…
Cherry and the Lowboys are in town. Come
on out and get down with the original
Blues-a-Billy band! For info, visit www.
bombsawaycafe.com.
The Outletz. Bombs Away Café, 2527
NW Monroe Ave. 9:30 p.m. Cost: $3. The
OutLetZ are a high energy rhythm and
blues group from Corvallis whose motto
is “Plug in, turn on, ROCK OUT!” For info,
visit www.bombsawaycafe.com. Why Oh Why and Slow Burn &
The Shady Bunch. Cloud & Kelly’s
Public House, 126 1st St. 10 p.m. Cost: $3.
For info, visit www.cloudandkellys.com.
Saturday, Aug. 13
Sunday, Aug. 14
$5 Yoga. Live Well Studio, 971 Spruce
Ave. 4 p.m. Cost: $5. For info, visit www.
livewellstudio.com.
11th Annual Campeones de
Salud. Osborn Aquatic Center, 1940
NW Highland Dr. 12 – 7 p.m. Free. Benton
County Health Services, along with Corvallis
Parks and Recreation and Casa Latinos
Unidos de Benton County, is presenting
the 11th annual Campeones de Salud
(Champions for Health) event. In response
to community input, this year’s event will
be a family swim day hosted at Osborn
Aquatic Center. The Aqua Campeones de
Salud Family Swim Day is a way to create
Total Elvis Fitness. Old World Deli,
341 SW 2nd St. 7 p.m. Free. An hour of
music, comedy, and calisthenics with “Elvis
Presley.” All ages. For info, visit Old World
Deli.
Triple Play. Imagine Coffee, 5460 SW
Philomath Blvd. 7 – 9 p.m. Free. For info,
visit www.imaginecoffee.net.
a healthy and inclusive environment while
integrating community action, available
resources, and access points to healthcare
services. The day’s activities will include
free admission to Osborn Aquatic Center;
family water sports; rock wall climbing; zip
line; free dental and health screenings; DJ
entertainment; and will end with a summer
BBQ for the community. For info, call 541766-6362.
Yoga for Recovery. Live Well Studio,
971 Spruce Ave. 12:30 – 1:45 p.m. By
donation. For recovery from substance
abuse, eating disorders, codependency. For
info, visit www.livewellstudio.com.
Bard in the Quad: Love’s Labour’s
Lost. Memorial Union Quad, 2501
SW Jefferson Way. 7:30 p.m. Cost: $15
general admission, $10 students and
seniors, $5 for OSU students. Oregon State
University’s popular Bard in the Quad
program returns for its 11th season in
August with a production of Shakespeare’s
witty and romantic Love’s Labour’s Lost.
Performances will be held at 7:30 p.m.
Aug. 11 to 14 on OSU’s Memorial Union
Quad. Bard in the Quad brings innovative
Shakespeare productions to Corvallis
in a casual, fun summer atmosphere.
Performances are held outdoors and
no seating is provided. Attendees are
encouraged to bring low lawn chairs and/
or blankets, warm clothing, and a picnic
dinner if desired. Seating begins at 6:30
p.m. and no one will be seated prior to that
time. For info, visit www.bardinthequad.org. Monday, Aug. 15
Heroclix. Matt’s Cavalcade of Comics,
2075 NW Buchanan Ave. 5:30 – 8 p.m. Free.
For info, visit www.ilovespidey.com. Tuesday, Aug. 16
Downtown Dog, 780 S Main St., Lebanon. 6
– 8 p.m. Free. Colleen and her virtual band
will be playing pop and jazz classics while
you enjoy a Tuesday dog nosh. For info, visit
www.colleenkitchen.com.
Community Movie Night. Darkside
Cinema, 215 SW 4th St. 7 p.m. Free. Every
Tuesday at the Darkside Cinema, Ygal
Kaufman, noted local film historian and
Darkside enthusiast, hosts Community
Movie Night, a free weekly screening of
lost, classic, and cult films. The feature
film of the week is always preceded by
newsreels, cartoons from the year of the
feature’s release, and an introduction with
interesting facts about the production
from Kaufman. Donations are graciously
accepted and benefit the renovation
of the Darkside Cinema, Corvallis’ only
independent movie house. For info, visit
www.cmnyk.wordpress.com or www.
facebook.com/freemovienightcorvallis.
Celtic Jam. Imagine Coffee, 5460 SW
Philomath Blvd. 7 p.m. Free. For info, visit
www.imaginecoffee.net. Concert in the Park. Central City
Park, 650 NW Monroe Ave. 8 p.m. Free. The
Corvallis Community Band format is as it
usually is, with the band rehearsing from 7
to 8 p.m. and the concert starting at 8 p.m.
and lasting about an hour. Any member of
the community with at least high school
ability is welcome to join us each week
or for the entire summer. All one needs to
do is show up a little before 7 p.m. with
your instrument and a music stand if you
have one. There are no auditions and no
additional rehearsals are scheduled or even
desired. Each week the concert is different
and with a different theme. This week’s
theme is “Dixieland” featuring Steve
Mattes, clarinet and sax solo. For info, visit
www.c-cband.org. Wednesday, Aug. 17
Family Mornings in the Garden.
SAGE Garden, 4485 SW Country Club Dr. 10
a.m. – 12 p.m. Cost: $10 per family. Every
Tuesday in August we offer family-friendly
garden activities and projects that are
appropriate for all ages. Each week features
a new activity, such as decorating garden
flags or making a seed collage. Each day,
try a fun snack fresh from the garden. For
info, visit www.sustainablecorvallis.org.
Yoga for Runners and Athletes.
Live Well Studio, 971 Spruce Ave. 5:45 a.m.
Cost: 14 days for $30. Yoga for Runners
and Athletes is a cross-training class for
athletes to help improve strength, flexibility,
recovery, stability, and a strong mental
focus. For info, visit www.livewellstudio.
com.
Chair Yoga. Live Well Studio, 971 Spruce
Ave. 3 – 4 p.m. By donation. For info, visit
www.livewellstudio.com.
Free Teen Yoga. Live Well Studio, 971
Spruce Ave. 4 – 5 p.m. Free. For info, visit
www.livewellstudio.com.
Colleen: Completely Beyond.
CBCPL Book Club. Corvallis-Benton
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541-754-0181
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Monday - Saturday 7am- 9pm & Sunday 8am-8pm
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Corvallis Advocate | 11
Ongoing August Events...
Fun-with-the-Animals Work
Party. Lighthouse Farm Sanctuary, 36831
Richardson Gap Rd., Scio. Wednesdays:
10 a.m. – 12 p.m.; Saturdays: 10 a.m. – 1
p.m. Free. For all ages and abilities. Work
parties provide the sanctuary’s abused,
abandoned, or neglected farm animals
with clean water, bedding, and living
conditions. No RSVP required; just show
up wearing farm apparel and boots. For
info, contact 503-394-4486 or volunteer@
lighthousefarmsanctuary.org.
Albany Historic Carousel and
Museum. 503 W 1st Ave. 10 a.m. – 4
p.m. Monday through Saturday. In the
lobby, view finished animals and watch the
painters work on a number of animals and
other handcrafted projects. In the carving
studio, see and touch over two dozen
carvings in progress. For info, visit www.
albanycarousel.com.
Albany Farmers’ Market. SW
Ellsworth St. and SW 4th Ave. 9 a.m. – 1
p.m. Runs through Nov. 19. Features fresh,
locally grown, locally produced dairy,
meat, and farm goods. For info, visit http://
locallygrown.org/home.
Corvallis Farmers’ Market. NW
Jackson Ave. and NW 1st St. 9 a.m. – 1
p.m. Saturdays and Wednesdays. Runs
through Nov. 23. Features fresh, locally
grown, locally produced dairy, meat,
and farm goods. For info, visit http://
locallygrown.org/home.
OSUsed Store Sales. OSUsed Store,
644 SW 13th St. Tuesdays: 5:30 – 7:30
p.m.; Fridays: 12 – 3 p.m. Free admission.
Items for sale include used computers
and computer accessories, furniture, office
supplies, sporting goods, household items,
bicycles, and much more. For info, visit
fa.oregonstate.edu/surplus.
Exhibit: IMAGINE, Work by Wes
Cropper, Jim Hockenhull, and
Lorraine Richey. The Arts Center, 700
SW Madison Ave. 12 – 5 p.m. Runs through
Aug. 13. The exhibit shows personal
interpretations of new and other worlds.
Their imagery is not based on literal reality,
but on their own imagined alternate
realities. The three artists in IMAGINE are
presenting limited prints, conventionally
framed and presented in the same
manner as intaglio prints and serigraphs
historically have been, while using current
techniques and their specific possibilities.
For info, visit www.theartscenter.net.
Exhibit: Documenting the End
of the Age of Steam. Benton County
Historical Museum, 1101 Main St.,
Philomath. 10 a.m. – 4:30 p.m. Runs
through Aug. 20. Photographer John
C. Illman (1921-2013) documented the
20th century transition from steam to
County, Public Library, 645 NW Monroe
Ave. 7 – 8 p.m. Free. Join us at 7 p.m. in the
library Board Room the third Wednesday of
each month for the Corvallis-Benton County
Public Library-sponsored adult book club.
At the next meeting we will be discussing
State of Wonder by Ann Patchett. Check out
a copy of this month’s book at the Corvallis
Library second-floor Reference Desk. For
info, visit www.cbcpubliclibrary.net.
Thursday, Aug. 18
Walk the CAW. Downtown Corvallis.
All day. Free. The Corvallis Arts Walk is a
grass roots-organized art walk that takes
place on the third Thursday of each month
12 | Corvallis Advocate
diesel locomotives. More than 500 of his
photographs and several articles were
published in books and magazines. Illman’s
railroad photography is at Benton County
Museum through Aug. 20, with a closing
reception on Aug. 20 from 3 to 4:30 p.m.
For info, visit www.bentoncountymuseum.
org.
Exhibit: Observing + Archiving
= Creating, Work by Kurt Fisk
and Jill Baker. The Arts Center, 700
SW Madison Ave. 12 – 5 p.m. Runs
through Aug. 27. Two artists observe, make
notations, archive and create their own
new work. Kurt Fisk exhibited earlier at
The Arts Center in the “I am” exhibit, April
2015 as part of the inVISIBLE Festival.
Kurt Fisk has been creating and archiving
delightful illustrations full of intriguing
characters since the 1970s. Fisk excels at
capturing complex emotions with humor
and sensitivity. Baker is an interdisciplinary
artist and educator who once lived
on the Oregon Coast, a place where
temperate rain forest meets the ocean.
Like the Oregon Coast, much of her work
is involved with isolated towns and stories,
viewpoints, and historical markers. For info,
visit www.theartscenter.net.
Exhibit: Nothing New: New Work
of Used Materials and Old Ideas
by Tom Koa. Living Room Gallery, 425
SW Madison Ave. 12 – 5 p.m. Thursday
through Saturday. Runs through Aug. 31.
Photography. For info, visit www.facebook.
com/artgalleryCorvallis.
Exhibit: Oregon Wonders: My
Favorite Place. Giustina Gallery,
875 SW 26th St. 8 a.m. – 5 p.m. Monday
through Friday. Runs through Aug. 31.
Full of breathtaking interpretations anf
pictures of places all over Oregon the
exhibit displays Oregonians true love for
all things Oregon. Showing breath taking
views from the coast to the high mountain
ranges along with some of the fun quirky
towns along the way. Reception on Aug.
19. For info, visit www.oregonstate.edu/
lasells/gallery.
Ugly Art Room Call for Artists.
Runs through Sept. 5. Ugly Art Room and
Corvallis Brewing Supply have partnered
to create a unique art show titled “Bottle
Caps” that celebrates beer + art. The call
for art, open to all artists nationwide in all
mediums, seeks artwork created on tiny
bottle caps. The work is to be sent to Ugly
Art Room by Sept. 5. Once received Jen G.
Pywell, founder of Ugly Art Room, and Joel
Rea, owner of Corvallis Brewing Supply,
will open all the artwork on camera.
Artwork will be on display during a special
event at Corvallis Brewing Supply called
99 Bottles of Beer on the Wall on Sept. 7.
The artwork will be on display to the public
in downtown Corvallis. Galleries, studios,
arts/crafts stores, and the occasional popup keep their doors open late to host an
art-related event or demonstration. Walking
maps of the event can be picked up at
any of the storefront members’ locations
or viewed online. For info, visit www.
corvallisartwalk.com.
SAGE Concert Series – The
Crescendo Show and Hermano.
SAGE Garden, 4485 SW Country Club Dr.
6 p.m. Free; $10 suggested donation per
family. Summer is here and the weather
is perfect for music in the park! The
2016 Starker Arts Garden for Education
(SAGE) Concert Series, presented with
Oregon State Credit Union, is a set of four
during business hours through Sept. 12.
For info, visit www.uglyartroom.com.
Benton County Cultural Coalition
Grant Submission Period. Runs
through Sept. 10. The Benton County
Cultural Coalition has new grant money
from the Oregon Cultural Trust available
for art, culture, and heritage projects in
Benton County. Interested organizations
may submit a Letter of Intent online at
www.bentonculture.org through Sept. 10.
Any registered 501(c) (3) organization or
partner group may apply. Priorities will
be given to: art projects and programs
that offer innovation, variety and scope
for Benton County’s diverse population;
cultural/educational projects that enhance
citizen understanding, growth and
participation; and heritage programs that
foster preservation and beautification. For
info, email [email protected].
Exhibit: Temporary Artists Guild
Art Show. Studio262, 425 SW Madison
Ave. Times vary. Runs through Sept. 10.
Studio262 is excited to welcome back the
Temporary Artists’ Guild. These fabulous
artists were gracious enough to kick off
their Featured Artist Series of shows when
we first opened in 2014. They look forward
to seeing what they have to share with
them two years later! For info, visit www.
studio262gallery.com.
Summer at Your Library for
Adults: Enrich, Excite, Explore.
Corvallis-Benton County Public Library,
645 NW Monroe Ave. Runs through
Sept. 18. Adults 18 and over may fill out
activity logs and return them to the library
by Sept. 7 for a chance to win prizes.
Examples of eligible activities include
reading or listening to a book, reading to
a child, using a library resource to create
something, visiting a park, and many
others. Grand prizes, such as an iPod, will
be drawn at the end of the summer as well
as smaller weekly prizes. Librarians will be
suggesting books, activities, and more all
summer long to help keep you playing. For
info, visit HYPERLINK “http://www.cbcpl.
net/summeratyourlibrary”www.cbcpl.net/
summeratyourlibrary.
Exhibit: Faculty Art Exhibit.
Fairbanks Gallery, 220 SW 26th St. 8
a.m. – 5 p.m. Runs through Sept. 28.
Oregon State University’s Fairbanks
Gallery is hosting a summer-long art
faculty exhibit at Fairbanks Gallery. The
exhibit will be in Fairbanks Hall on the
OSU campus. It will include work by Evan
Baden, Michael Boonstra, Julia Bradshaw,
Kay Campbell, Anna Fidler, Julie Green,
Stephen Hayes, Yuji Hiratsuka, Shelley
Jordon, Andy Myers, Kerry Skarbakka, and
John Whitten. A broad array of styles and
approaches to creating art will be featured
family-friendly evenings showcasing local
musicians supported by local businesses.
This week, featuring The Crescendo
Show and Hermano. For info, visit www.
corvallisenvironmentalcenter.org.
2016 Edible Garden Tour. Philomath
Community Garden, 300 S 11th St,
Philomath. 6 – 8 p.m. Free. The two-hour
tour will begin at 6 p.m. at Philomath
Community Garden, just west of Marys
River Park in Philomath. The tour will
include stops at four sites, with each host
resident giving a brief overview of their
garden — how they transformed the space,
selected what to plant, and overcame
any challenges. The goal of the tours is
to encourage Corvallis area residents
in photography, painting, drawing, mixed
media, printmaking, and video. Gallery
hours are 8 a.m. to 5 p.m., Monday
through Friday, with extra hours during the
Corvallis Arts Walk. A closing reception,
open to the public, will be held from 4:30
to 5:30 p.m. on Sept. 28. For info, visit
oregonstate.edu/fairbanksgallery.
Exhibit: Heartwood: Inquiry
and Engagement with Pacific
Northwest Forests. The Valley Library,
5th Floor, 201 SW Waldo Pl. 10 a.m. – 6
p.m. Runs through Oct. 30. The OSU
Libraries and Press Special Collections and
Archives Research Center explores our
deep and complicated connections with
forests. Participants include the US Forest
Service Pacific Northwest Research Station
and the Spring Creek Project. For info, visit
osulibrary.oregonstate.edu.
Exhibit: Up, Up, and Away. Benton
County Historical Museum, 1101 Main
St., Philomath. 10 a.m. – 4:30 p.m. Runs
through Nov. 5. Up, Up, and Away is a
year-long exhibition about the history of
flight. See artifacts and learn stories about
the past century of manned flight. Themes
in the exhibition include ballooning, kites,
helicopters, toys, and early development of
the airplane and its evolution through the
20th century, during wars, by commercial
travel and into space. For info, visit www.
bentoncountymuseum.org.
Games at Old World. Old World
Deli, 341 SW 2nd St. 3 – 5 p.m. Free. On
Tuesdays. Playing is healthy. Join us and
others for games, for four players or more,
at Old World Deli on Tuesdays from 3 to 5
p.m. All ages, bring a game or just show
up. Please be fragrance-free, thanks. For
info, call 541-752-0135.
Chintimini Movies. Chintimini
Senior and Community Center, 2601 NW
Tyler Ave. 1:30 p.m. Cost: $2. Concessions
will be available to purchase. Closed
captioning available on request. For info,
call 541-766-6959.
The Majestic Reader’s Theater.
The Majestic Theatre, 115 SW 2nd Ave.
3 – 5 p.m. and 7 – 9 p.m. Cost: $10; $8
for students and seniors. Last Sundays.
The company will offer a production in
the reader’s theater style: trained actors,
with scripts in hand, make the play
come alive through vocal talent, facial
expressions, and minimal staging. Reader’s
theater plays are a fun, accessible way
to experience contemporary works by
famous modern playwrights that might not
otherwise be performed here. For info or
tickets, visit https://majesticreaderstheater.
wordpress.com.
Spanish Circle. Madison Plaza
Underground, 425 SW Madison Ave. 6 p.m.
to consider edible plants as an option
when they landscape their yards, thereby
increasing home food production in our
community. In addition to fostering greater
self-reliance, the team hopes to involve
more people in the joys and health benefits
of edible front yard gardening: regular
exercise, fresh air, healthful and delicious
food, and a sense of connection to the
neighborhood — and to the earth. For info,
visit www.sustainablecorvallis.org.
Free Range Open Mic. Cloud &
Kelly’s Public House, 126 1st St. 8:30 p.m.
Free. In the spirit of fostering camaraderie
in the Corvallis music scene and creation
of new bands/projects, we give you Free
Range Open Mic Night. This rotating event
Free. Last Wednesdays. ZENpui believes
that everyone in the world needs to know
at least two languages. They know quite a
few people that would benefit a lot from
the language for their work and Ani from
ZENpui would like to facilitate a practical
way of expanding people’s knowledge of
Spanish. This is a free event, you can bring
something to share if you’d like and you
can bring anyone. For info, visit www.
zenpui.com.
Makers Club. Corvallis-Benton County
Public Library, 645 NW Monroe Ave. 4 –
5:30 p.m. Tuesdays. Youth aged 10 to 18
learn basic programming with Arduino and
Raspberry Pi, plus explore 3-D printing and
other technologies. Makers Club meets
on the second and fourth Tuesdays of
each month at 4 p.m. For info, visit www.
cbcpubliclibrary.net.
Teen Writers. Corvallis-Benton
County Public Library, 645 NW Monroe
Ave. 4 – 5:30 p.m. Thursdays. Teens in
middle and high school are invited to
this writers’ group focused on exploring
writing with other teens. Meets every first
and third Thursday. Led by Rita Feinstein,
MFA student, OSU. For info, visit www.
cbcpubliclibrary.net.
Hula Classes. First Baptist Church, 125
NW 10th St. 5:30 – 7:15 p.m. Mondays.
Come experience a bit of Island Aloha by
learning Hula. The first class, from 5:30 to
6 p.m., is for those who have never danced
Hula. It’s a chance to learn the basic steps
and hand movements. From 6 to 7:15
p.m., the class is for all students where
we learn new dances and review the ones
we have already learned. For info, contact
[email protected].
Corvallis Community Drum
Circle. Corvallis Riverfront Park, NW
1st St. 7 – 8 p.m. Free. First Saturdays.
All ages and skill levels welcome.
Instruments provided or bring your own.
For info, contact Michelle Lovrich at
[email protected]. Ukulele Cabaret. First Alternative
South Store, 1007 SE 3rd St. 7 – 9 p.m.
First Fridays except July and November.
Free. This is an open mic and sing-along for
ukulele players of all ages and skill levels.
Songbooks and instruction are provided.
Bring snacks to share. Hosted by Suz Doyle
and Jeanne Holmes. For info, call 541-7538530.
Reiki Healing Circle. 8285 NW
Wynoochee Dr. 7 – 9 p.m. First Thursdays.
Donation: $5 to $10. All students and
interested parties welcome. For info, call
Margo at 541-754-3595.
will move between Bombs Away Cafe and
Cloud & Kelly’s Public House on alternating
dates so that it occurs twice per month. It
is our hope that the event will settle down
to be on Thursday nights, but we’ll see
what works best for all involved. It is our
hope that this event will fill the three most
sacred purposes of open mic nights: Giving
new artists encouragement to keep playing
and learn how to play in front of others.
Getting area musicians to drink together,
play together, and thus form new bands.
And creating a scene of musicians who care
about other musicians by giving them a
reason and place to socialize. Steve Hunter
will be signing people up starting at 7 p.m.
For info, visit www.cloudandkellys.com. 8 days
a
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By
Thursday, August 11
Free Range Open Mic
Cloud & Kelly’s Public House,
126 1st St. 8:30 p.m. Free. Sign-up
starts at 7 p.m., so don’t be late.
There are a few great open mics around here, and
if you’re a musician, this might be your favorite
of the lot. Hosted by kid-tested, mother-approved
local music scene guru Steve Hunter, your excuses
for not at least showing up for a random array
of excellent performances is exactly equal to
the number of ducks I give. Oh yes, ducks. For
pleasant but hardcore information, visit www.
cloudandkellys.com.
Thirsty Thursday Trivia
Deluxe Brewing Company, 635 NE
Water Ave., Albany. 7 p.m. No cover,
but 21+.
Sometimes I just need to get out and do
something different. I never do, because I’m lazy,
but I trust that you’re a better person than I am.
How about trying this on for size: team-based
trivia. And, of course, slamming beers. Did I
mention that there are prizes? No, I didn’t. Well,
now I have. Always contradicting myself. Get
crunked, win stuff. For more delicious info, visit
www.sinisterdeluxe.com.
Saturday, August 13
Friday, August 12
Total Elvis Fitness
The Road Sodas
Old World Deli, 341 SW 2nd St.
7 p.m. Free.
Imagine Coffee, 5460 SW Philomath
Blvd. 7 – 9 p.m. Free.
A banjo and guitar duet, folksy as all hell (from
the few songs I was able to listen to I got a bit
of an Irish folk vibe, but maybe not...) and worth
your ear time. Oh, ear time? That’s time that you
use your ears to hear things. Why is it not “ears
time” so the continuity of the plural carries over?
How the hell should I know? Stop bothering me
and check out the following website for more
information, good lord...: www.imaginecoffee.net.
The Outletz
Bombs Away Café, 2527 NW Monroe
Ave. 9:30 p.m. Cost: $3.
The OutLetZ have a motto, and it goes a little
something like this: “Plug in, turn on, ROCK
OUT!” Only, the thing is… this doesn’t do them
much justice. A truly great, higher energy blues
act from right here in Jamvallis… If you’re into
being assaulted by the blues, forget your Friday
night plans and make your way to Bombs Away
(and that rhymes so now you have to). For 12 bars
of information, visit www.bombsawaycafe.com. I’m not sure how else to break this to you, but
it’s basically a full hour of music, comedy, and
“calisthenics” (sorry, it went over my syllable
quota). With… Elvis. As in, Presley. All ages. For the
deep scoop, pay a visit to Old World Deli (or give
them a ring at 541-752-8549 ). Also, and if someone
asks I did not give you this advice… Maybe you
should dress up like Elvis yourself? I’m thinking the
sweat will be worth it.
Cherry and the Lowboys
Bombs Away Café, 2527 NW Monroe
Ave. 9:30 p.m. Cost: $5.
Cherry and the Lowboys serve up greasy grooves
inspired by classic hot rod culture. Their words,
not mine… though I don’t mind backing them up.
Rockabilly and blues that may not melt your face,
but will definitely melt some butter on a tall stack
of flapjacks. Blues-a-billy at its finest and, from my
perspective, its most authentic. As Coolio said, “You
gotta get up to get down.” For more information...
maybe visit www.bombsawaycafe.com. Don’t tell
anyone I gave that to you. Sunday, August 14
Bard in the Quad:
Love’s Labour’s Lost
Memorial Union Quad, 2501 SW
Jefferson Way. 7:30 p.m. Cost: $15
general admission, $10 students and
seniors, $5 for OSU students.
Eleven seasons in, there’s really only one relevant
thing to say about Bard in the Quad: it’s almost
always excellent. That’s not sensationalism, I truly
mean excellent. This time around they’re putting
on Love’s Labour’s Lost, with performances held
at 7:30 p.m. from Aug. 11 to 14 right on the Quad.
Honestly, what’s not to love about casual, outdoor
summer viewings on the classics performed by
people who love them? No seating is provided,
but you’re welcome to bring low lawn chairs
and blankets. If you suck at adulting and can’t
remember to dress yourself for the occasion,
please remember warm clothing. If you want
to sneak in a picnic… it’s cool, don’t sneak.
You’ll look suspicious. For truly Shakespearean
information, visit www.bardinthequad.org. o
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Know Your Locals!
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Monday, Aug. 15-Thursday, Aug. 18 on the flip side
...since 1938
353 SW Madison Ave., Downtown Corvallis
(541) 753-2864
www.burstschocolates.com
541-752-5151
www.woodstocks.com
www.sustainablecorvallis.org | www.corvallisiba.org
We Deliver (to most of Corvallis)
Corvallis Advocate | 13
Tuesday, August 16
Monday, August 15
Oregon State University
Faculty Art Exhibit
Fairbanks Gallery, Fairbanks Hall,
220 SW 26th St. 8 a.m. – 5 p.m. Free.
Oh yes, I’m here to bug you about this fantastic
show again. Trust me, folks, it’s for your own
good. Easily one of, if not the best, art shows
of the year, each and every contributing artist
is a master at their craft. Do you have any idea
how hard it is to become art faculty at a major
university? They’re that good. If not now, catch it
before it is taken down at the end of September.
Absolutely a must-view for any local art lover.
If I could legally threaten you, I would. Open
during the CAW, maybe make it your first stop? Advocate for Your Business...
advertise
[email protected] | 541.766.3675
Community Movie Night
Wednesday, August 17
Darkside Cinema, 215 SW 4th St.
7 p.m. Free.
Temporary Artists’ Guild
Art Show
Every Tuesday at the Darkside Cinema: fantastic
old movies complete with period accurate
news reels and cartoons. The lost, the cult…
the classic, generated by all the bodies that
helped forge the industry. Please do treat
yourself—you’re unlikely to regret it unless you
trip and fall on your face walking there. Best
theater in town and Corvallis’ only independent
movie house, donations are graciously accepted
and benefit the renovation of the Darkside
Cinema. For the pertinent info, visit www.
cmnyk.wordpress.com or www.facebook.com/
freemovienightcorvallis.
Studio262, 425 SW Madison Ave.
12 – 5:30 p.m.
Colleen: Completely
Beyond
Downtown Dog, 780 S Main St.,
Lebanon. 6 – 8 p.m. Free.
Let me lay this on you, folks… direct from the
press release: “Colleen and her virtual band
will be playing pop and jazz classics while you
enjoy a Tuesday dog nosh.” Virtual band? Some
sort of thing called a “dog nosh”… let’s just
go ahead and mark this on our calendars. Also,
it doesn’t hurt that this is a pretty awesome
venue. For nosh, visit www.colleenkitchen.com. Looking for another great art show in town?
Look no further than the Temporary Artists’
Guild’s latest offering. Open every day at Studio
262, beat the murderous crowds and show up
today, rather than at the CAW. OK, show up
on both days—it’s worth it. The exhibit is open
through Sept. 10. Not familiar with the guild?
It’s basically a ragtag group of really talented
people that all work in very different ways.
Eclectic doesn’t quite do it justice. If you’re an
art lover and find yourself on the lookout for
something different, this is it. Scout’s honor.
For more information, check out the Temporary
Artists Guild on Facebook. Like Us On
Facebook
Thursday, August 18
Walk the CAW
Downtown Corvallis. All day. Free.
CAW: noun, the sound a bird makes while it is
taunting you from up on the power lines. Also,
it’s the word people say a lot right around the
third Thursday of the month. Guess what day
it is? Indeed. If you haven’t taken a ride on
the CAW train (apologies, there is no train),
you better get out and give it a shot before
summer is over and you have to start cursing
out loud all the time because you can’t seem
to remember your umbrella. Oh, I should
probably mention that along the CAW trail,
you’re going to see some of the best art in
the state. No big deal. For artistic information,
visit www.corvallisartwalk.com. Submit: Do you know of an upcoming event?
Email us and we’ll add it to the web calendar [email protected]
Authentic Italian Meats & Cheeses
Natalia &
Cristoforo’s
Buy
• SellBooks
• Trade priC
Cheap
Espresso, Great Food & Local Artists...
351 NW Jackson St. #2 • Corvallis
541.752.1114
Every Monday: Bryson Skaar, piano, 7-9pm
Every Tuesday: Celtic Jam, 7-9pm
Every Saturday:Story Time, 10am
2nd Thursday: Acoustic Open Mic, 7-9pm
Alchemist Best Sandwich Shop Winner
Advocate Selection as a Hidden Foodie Find
5460 SW Philomath Blvd — www.imaginecoffee.net
Wine Classes • Party Trays
14 | Corvallis Advocate
Just West of 53rd, Between Corvallis & Philomath
Corvallis
Corvallis
121 NW 4th St. • 541-758-1121
Buy • sell
541-758-1121
Albany
121 NW 4th
St.
Trade
1425 Pacific Blvd. • 541-926-2612
OUTDOOR
SEATING &
EXPANDED
FOOD MENU
FAMILY
OWNED &
OPERATED
12 BEERS
ON TAP
WINE & CIDER
AVAILABLE
Visit our taproom located 2 miles east
of downtown Corvallis on Highway 34
/MazamaBrewing
www.MazamaBrewing.com
MazamaBrewing
Corvallis Advocate | 15
August 10 th – August 16th
ORGANIC
ORGANIC
Red Grapes
Broccolini
Reg. $2.99/lb
Reg. $2.99/ea
1 /lb
1 /ea
$ .99
$ .99
ORGANIC
Spring Hill Farm
ORGANIC
Black Mission
Figs
Green Bell Pepper
Reg. $4.99/lb
Reg. $4.99/ea
1 /lb
3 /ea
$ .99
$ .99
ORGANIC
Portabella
Kent & Keitt
Mango
5 /lb
5/$5
ORGANIC
Reg. $1.99/ea
Reg. $7.99/lb
$ .99
Co-op Kitchen
Co-op Kitchen
Coleslaw
Fried Chicken
Reg. $12.99/lb
Reg. $5.99/lb
First Alternative
9 /lb
$ .99
4 /lb
$ .99
NATURAL FOODS CO-OP
South Corvallis
North Corvallis
1007 SE 3rd St.
2855 NW Grant Ave.
Open Daily 7am-10pm
www.firstalt.coop