How Chicago Does It

The Sex Issue
The Sex Issue
How Chicago
does it
See how you stack up to your friskiest neighbors
in TOC’s most revealing sex survey yet.
By Marissa Conrad Illustrations by Ian Dingman
64%
Which of these professionals have you fantasized about?
Here’s how it went down (so to speak): 791
Chicago-area residents took our poll,
representing 59 neighborhoods and 65
suburbs. The most vocal group: 25- to
29-year-olds (33 percent of respondents), with
30- to 39-year-olds a close second. (Props to
the one 70–79er who answered, a straight
male from Evanston who’s dating several
people and has sex four to five times a week,
but would like to be getting it on more often.)
Gender was nearly an even split, with 402
male, 385 female and four transgender poll
takers. Sexual orientation clocked in at 619
straight, 91 homosexual, 78 bisexual and 3
asexual respondents. And who’s single in the
city? About 30 percent of you, with a similar
number in long-term relationships, 22 percent
who already tied the knot and the rest playing
the dating game. One thing you all have in
common: You’re a pretty randy bunch.
(Respondents could select more than one answer.)
311
Teacher
279
Bartender*
178
personal
trainer
nurse
SHORTEST
4 inches
25%
15%
15%
8%
8%
8%
2%
2%
How’s this for a
longshot? This
is also the most
sought-after size by
women and
gay men.
mail carrier
8
grocery
delivery person
LONGEST
11 inches
AVERAGE
6.7 inches
where you’ve done it
YES
67%
NO
33%
Most requested bikini-line
waxing shapes at Trim
(1629 N Milwaukee Ave,
773-276-8746)
1. Heart
2. Butterfly
3. Star
“Outside the Palmer House
Hilton with a fellow Hillary
Clinton campaign volunteer.”
—Female, 25–29, bisexual,
Andersonville
“The Brown Line, starting at
the Rockwell stop. Luckily, he
came before Belmont.”
—Female, 25–29, straight,
Lincoln Park
photos: nicole radja
Almost every day
Almost every day
10–12 times
A few times a week
4 or 5 times
2 or 3 times
2–5 times
Once
Once
NotNot
at at
allall
*including anal and oral
GETTING DOWN TO BUSINESS
Sex shops, strip clubs and
more share their best-sellers.
14 TimeOutchicago.COM October 20–26, 2011
Have you
ever
had sex
in public?
8%
photo: FARIS, Claire Folger
anna faris
RACKS UP 20
CONQUESTS in
What’s your
number, now
in theaters
mover
19
“Girth is more important.”—Female, 30–39, straight, Lombard
How many people have
you had sex with?
10
40
RECEPTIONIST
Men: How long are you when erect?
sex in the
past month?*
{ }
median
186
flight attendant
81
ups/fedex
construction
delivery person
worker
Multiple
a day
Multipletimes
times
a day
1% of
respondents
would like to
HAVE sex
less often.
doctor
191
25%
20%
WOULD LIKE TO HAVE
SEX MORE OFTEN
106
195
*Read a real-life hookup story from a bartender (and more!) on page 18.
22%
ARE HAPPY WITH THE AMOUNT
OF SEX THEY HAVE
239
waiter/waitress
none
163
42%
How often
did you have
sex often
How
in the past month?*
did you have
35%
276
“My girlfriend gave me a hand job
while on a tandem bike going
through a busy intersection.”
—Male, 40–49, straight, West
Town
“We were in the Loop late on a
Thursday evening and went to
have drinks after the play let
out. We ‘did it’ under
the Picasso.”
—Male, 50–59, straight,
Old Irving Park
Have you ever regretted
a sexual encounter?
Yes 68%
No 32%
At what
age did you
lose your
virginity?
average
18
October 20–26, 2011 TimeOutchicago.com 15
The Sex Issue
4
3
2
1
0
The Sex Issue
5
6
7
4.9
8
Of the following choices, which sex-scandalized
celeb would you sleep with?
What breast size turns you on
(if you’re into that)?
16%
31%
11%
name that fetish
“One ex would ask me to push
down on her shoulders with all
of my weight as I fucked her
from behind…it was pretty
fucking hot.”
—Male, 30–39, straight,
Wicker Park
1%
5%
9
average
10
Kim
Kardashian
Brett Favre
36%
On a scale of 1 (silent)
to 10 (screaming so
loud your ex can hear
it across the city), how
loud are you in bed?
42%
The online world…
148
Anthony
Weiner
Arnold
Schwarzenegger
WOULD rather become a priest or join a
convent than sleep with any of these people
87
C or D cup
Has no effect on my sex life: 53%
Enhances my sex life: 41%
Hinders my sex life: 6%
Paris Hilton
Which of the following have
you tried or do you want to
try in bed?
(Respondents
could select
more than
one answer.)
154
89
623
180
169
143
482
I’ve made a booty call: 512
I’ve answered a booty call: 502
If someone wants my booty,
he/she better be taking me to
dinner first: 144
YES!Yes
Best-selling sex toys at
Early to Bed
(5232 N Sheridan Rd,
773-271-1219)
1. Silver bullet vibrator, $9
2. Lefty masturbation sleeve, $14
3. GIGI G-spot stimulator, $109
16 TimeOutchicago.COM October 20–26, 2011
79%
51%
Women
Men
Most popular condom
styles at Tulip
(3459 N Halsted St, 773-975-1515)
1. Kimono Textured, $15 for 12
2. Trojan Intense Ribbed, $15 for 12
3. Trojan Magnum XL, $15 for 12
359
289
274
283
264
243
120
Most requested erogenous
piercings at Tattoo Factory
(4441 N Broadway, 773-989-4077)
1. Clitoris
2. Nipples
3. Prince Albert (through a penis’s urethra
and out the glans)
91
Blindfolds
Threesome
Role-play
Incorporating food
in the bedroom
Flavored lube
Dirty talk
Bondage
Handcuffs
Watching porn
together
Stripping for
my partner
Most popular items in vending
machine at Steamworks
(3246 N Halsted St, 773-929-6080)
1. Anal douche, with instructions, $3
2. Steamworks-brand lube one-shots, $1
3. Trojan Magnum condoms, $8.50 for three
S&M
161
81
Tried
81
78
Strap-on
346
“I dated a girl for about three
months who liked me to throw
car tires at her in bed. Too weird
for me and [I] broke it off.”
—Male, 40–49, straight,
West Town
239
Someone
watching us
394
Vibrator or
vibrating cock ring
Have you ever faked an orgasm?
photoS: CUPS, nicole radja; IPHONE, APPLE
(Respondents could select more
than one answer.)
169
466
114
Orgy
Any and all: 28% • The bigger, the better: 7%
photos: kardashian, Charles Sykes/AP; weiner, Seth Wenig/AP; Schwarzenegger, Lionel Cironneau/AP; hilton, Rajanish Kakade/AP; favre, Miles Kennedy/AP; IPHONE, APPLE
More than a handful is a waste
Have you ever made
or answered a
booty call?
88
93
23%
Most popular strippers
at the Admiral Theatre
(3940 W Lawrence Ave,
773-478-8111)
1. Crystal
2. Taboo
3. Adelina
64
“Vodka-infused whipped
cream: We were just gross
[and] sticky. Led to a sexy
shower, though.”
—Female, 18–24, straight,
Edgewater
“I tried a lot when I was
younger…[now I’m] fully
satisfied without exotic
things.”
—Female, 30–39, straight,
Fulton River District
“I just realized I am boring.”
—Female, 30–39, straight,
Andersonville
Want to try
Which of the following
cell phone no-nos have
you done during sex?
(Respondents could select more than
one answer.)
Checked a ringing phone to see who’s
calling: 297
Answered a phone call: 184
Checked a text message: 148
Replied to a text message: 73
Checked my e-mail: 27
Replied to an e-mail: 14
Tweeted: 6
Updated my Facebook status: 6
I’ve done none of these things: 400
October 20–26, 2011 TimeOutchicago.com 17