Breaking up can be hard to do

Page 14 Wednesday, March 7, 2012
MyCentralJersey.com
Features
Breaking up can be hard to do
Divorce after 50 calls for some creative problem solving
By Pam Gallagher :: For NJ Press Media
Ending a marriage is never an easy
decision, but divorce can be especially
daunting for couples older than 50.
According to the National Center for
Marriage Research at Bowling Green
State University, the divorce rate for
people older than 50 has doubled in the
past 20 years, and baby boomers now
account for roughly one in four divorces
today in the U.S.
By the time they reach 50, many
boomers are on their second or third
marriages, and those are statistically less
likely to last. Wall lawyer Linda Piff’s
practice is devoted to mediation, collaborative divorce, uncontested divorce and
matrimonial agreements.
She said irreconcilable differences
are the grounds most commonly cited by
the older couples whose divorces she
handles.
“The children are away at college or
have left home,” Piff said, “and activities
and conversation are no longer centered
around them.”
Piff said that is when some couples
realize they no longer have much in common and that they have grown miles
apart.
“This may be attributable to people
living longer and wanting to live their
senior years in a fulfilling way,” she said,
and added that many boomers had their
children later in life and are older than 65
when the kids graduate college or finally
leave home.
Piff and a former colleague, attorney
Jeff Horn, pioneered the “collaborative
divorce” concept in 2005, when the ethics
committee of the New Jersey Supreme
Court gave them approval to practice
collaborative law. Piff’s practice, the
Center for Mediation and Collaborative
Divorce, is now among more than 500
trained professionals including lawyers,
accountants, financial planners and licensed mental health experts working in
collaborative family law throughout New
Jersey.
A collaborative divorce generally
costs one-third the amount of a litigated
divorce, and most can be accomplished
within one to six months. The focus is on
DIVORCING? DON’T GET CAUGHT IN ‘PERFECT STORM’
The recession has a greater impact on people older than 50 seeking a divorce, according
to Linda Piff, a lawyer in Wall whose practice handles only collaborative and uncontested
divorces, mediation and prenuptial agreements.
“It’s a perfect storm where elements beyond the control of the divorcing parties have
come together,” Piff said. “A downturn in the economy, loss of value in their retirement
assets and loss of equity in their homes.”
To navigate the storm, Piff advises her clients to be aware of the following recession
realities and, with the help of a team of professionals, shows them how to compromise
accordingly in the interest of both parties:
Wall lawyer Linda Piff pioneered the
practice of collaborative family law in New
Jersey in 2005.
reaching a mutually agreed upon settlement of all disputes by using a team approach instead of adversaries. Each
spouse retains his or her own attorney,
but the lawyers work together, with the
couple retaining control of the process
rather than handing over decisions about
future financial arrangements to the
courts.
Piff said in a collaborative divorce,
creative problem solving replaces recrimination and revenge, fixing problems
rather than fixing blame.
“Older couples want to continue to be
involved in their children’s and grandchildren’s lives,” said Piff. “They need to
be able to communicate post-divorce so
they can both be present at family events
and holidays.”
While custody usually is not an issue,
Piff said many adult children take their
parents’ divorce harder and tend to take
sides.
“We encourage the parties to bring in
a coach, licensed clinical social worker or
mental health professional to make the
children’s concerns a priority,” said Piff,
who also has a background in social work.
Retirement assets depreciated due to stock market downturn. “People over 50
have fewer years to invest and allow those assets to increase in value,” Piff said. “There’s
a lot less time for a do-over of investment strategies when people divorce later in life.” If
one spouse is collecting pension benefits and did not designate the other party as his or
her survivor, that designation cannot be changed because they are getting divorced.
“That presents a problem for the spouse who is left behind without a pension benefit,”
said Piff. “People over 50 usually have a more difficult time finding employment,” she
said. “If one party is paying alimony and does not have life insurance, the dependent
spouse would not receive any money upon the payor’s death,” Piff said. She pointed out
that purchasing life insurance can be expensive as a person ages, particularly if the person
has medical conditions.
Marital home has lost significant value. Piff said couples can avail themselves of a
number of creative solutions to dealing with the real estate downturn when they agree
to divorce collaboratively. “They can hold onto the home as business partners after the
divorce until it appreciates, rent the home to meet the mortgage payments, do a short
sale and not bring money to the closing, refinance before the divorce, or walk away (in a
strategic default) if the home is so far under water that it would take them five to 10
years of putting money into the house in order to break even,” she said. Piff uses the
services of a collaboratively trained Realtor, appraiser and even a “divorce lender” with
Wells Fargo trained to handle refinancing for divorcing couples.
Health insurance. In some instances, continuation of coverage is handled by issuing an
agreement of “divorce from bed and board,” which allows the entry of a judgment that
technically continues the marriage yet the parties are legally divorced. “This is as close as
New Jersey comes to granting a legal separation,” said Piff. She said a divorce from bed
and board can only be obtained in an amicable, collaborative divorce. It cannot be part of
a litigated determination by a court, but can allow continuing health care coverage
under certain plans, COBRA coverage for three years, and coverage for qualified employees and their dependents covered under New Jersey small-employer health benefit plans.
Social Security benefits. “The magic number for Social Security is 10 years,” Piff said,
referring to options that allow those married for at least 10 years to collect their spouse’s
benefit, either as a survivor or as a partial benefit and later switch to their own earnings
to collect a higher benefit. She helps explain the rules related to receiving Social Security
benefits and how to divide up those benefits equitably. “It can be complicated,” Piff said,
“but if somebody comes in wanting a divorce and tells me they’ve been married nine
years and 10 months, I tell them to come back in two months.”
For those planning to remarry, Piff recommends a prenuptial agreement. “I tell them that
if they ever marry without one, don’t come back to talk to me about it,” she said.
Pam Gallagher