May 2011 - Hoboken Family Alliance

And So It Began…
May 2011
by Heidi Conlin
As women assembled on a night in April 1998 for the first meeting
of Hoboken Happenings (which in 2001 became HFA) in the back
room of Lady Janes (now Hudson Tavern) the simple, yet powerful,
mission of “supporting community through families” took root and
grows stronger today.
Our first Easter Egg Hunt in Elysian Park enlisted fathers as egg
scatters, face painters and even bunny-suit wearers. The event introduced our family group to the Hoboken community.
Our first “civic” lobbying exercise was our triumph in getting park
benches strategically placed around the sprinkler in Elysian Park so
that youth on bikes could no longer ride dangerously close to our
playing young children. We recognized our influence in advancing
family initiatives and we tackled even more concerns.
We produced the newsletter (cutting and pasting articles and
recipes in our VP’s kitchen) to reach out to members and to spread
the word of upcoming events. We established age-group reps to
address specific needs. Our website was launched and we started
selling advertising. Local merchants acknowledged the targeted
nature of our member base and sponsored events. We developed a
means to drive our programs and support our charitable endeavors.
As Hoboken became accustomed to our family group, Mayor
Dave Roberts invited us to have a voice on initiatives such as park
creation and dog run construction. Our brochure was promptly displayed in City Hall and given out at real estate offices to welcome
incoming families. Our officers had business cards and when they
spotted a new mom from her apparent lack of sleep, they slipped her
a card as an invite to an upcoming event and with that, inducted her
into our sorority.
The indoor gym at Hudson Athletic Club became our weekly
meeting place. We would often arrange for a character (Elmo, Big
Bird etc.) to lead the day’s activity. That same winter we began the
tradition of community Christmas Caroling. “Ray” from Secret
Ingredient (now Toots and Tallies) welcomed us with hot chocolate
and cookies. Another HFA tradition was born.
Each year culminated with our Mother’s Day Luncheon at
Amanda’s Restaurant. Babysitting in the basement, an inspirational
speaker and even the attendance of our own mothers and grandmothers marked the occasion. As spring approached, the hope of
renewal and our shared bond of motherhood were celebrated and
were our sources of strength.
In 2000, The Hoboken Reporter called us “The Millennium Moms”.
As the world embarked on a new era, society became fascinated with
our new “breed” of motherhood. We knew that this newfound realization was something we were conscious of all along—that we were
strong and determined, driven professionally, but first and foremost,
we selflessly loved, advocated, and fought fiercely for our families.
As we look back proudly on the origins of HFA we pay tribute and
respect to the volunteer leaders who laid our foundation. We applaud
those who hold today’s reins and we encourage those who ultimately shape our future.
Our bond of motherhood is eternal. We inexperienced moms who
gathered in 1998 will now shepherd our children into high school next
fall. Nonetheless, we share common dreams and passion for our
families with fellow moms who now nurture their own newborns. We
attest that this very time in our lives will never come our way again.
We share the honor and privilege of the life entrustment of another
and we each cherish our coveted titles of “Mom”.
Heidi Conlin founded HFA in 1998 with 12 other Hoboken families who met
at Elysian Park. Heidi was our first President, and for several years afterwards she coordinated the Mother’s Day Luncheon and Community
Christmas Caroling. Heidi is an Adoption Attorney in NJ/NY, and she and
her husband are proud parents of four children. Heidi continues to be an
active HFA member.
Newborn Essentials
By Denise Baden




What do you need, what do you not, and what should you score pre-owned?
Navigating through the thousands of baby products at specialty stores can leave you
feeling completely overwhelmed and very confused! I remember registering being one
of the most stressful experiences because I didn’t know what I really needed and what
I didn’t need but those marketing geniuses made seem so necessary. It is very easy to
get carried away when there is so much to choose from. So remember to keep it simple!
Top 5 “Must-Have” Baby Items
• Car Seat: Even if you plan to walk home, you can’t leave the hospital without one.
Look for one that has a high height and weight limit like the Graco Snugride and you
could very well use it beyond 12 months.
• Stroller: There is no perfect stroller! Think about your lifestyle and how you will be
using it. Most end up with 2 strollers: a city stroller and a lightweight umbrella stroller.
• Breast Pump: Even if you plan to exclusively breastfeed, you might still need to
pump. After testing six leading brands, my favorite is still the Medela Pump-in-Style.
• Baby Bathtub: This is an essential since it offers a safe and secure place to bathe
your baby. Expect to use it several times a week for 6-8 months.
• Boppy Nursing Pillow: What I love about this product is its versatility. Use it to
reduce stress on your arms during feeding. Then use it to prop baby up—after feeding
to reduce reflux, for tummy-time, or as they learn to hold their own bottle.
Top 5 “Skip It” Baby Items
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• Bottle Warmer: Get your baby used to room temperature milk/formula and you won’t
ever have to stress when a warmer isn’t available.
• Wipes Warmer: Wiping lasts just seconds and by the time you get the wipe out, it
will already be cold.
• Baby Food Maker: If you already have a steam basket and food processor, you are
good to go.
• High Chair: Skip the traditional bulky high chair for a space saver one that straps
onto your dining room chair—you won’t lose out on floor space and most convert to a
toddler booster seat!
• Pricey Strollers: Once your baby starts walking they’ll be spending a lot more time
out of the stroller and you’ll be wondering if spending all that money was even worth it.
If you have to have it, consider buying one second-hand.
Top 5 “Pre-Owned” Baby Items
These items are wonderful at keeping your infant quiet, content and entertained, but
you’re best bet is to get them second-hand because how much use you’ll actually get
out of them is not worth the price tag! Because they are occasional use items, you are
likely to find them in like-new condition often for less than half price on community message boards (like our very own Hoboken Moms Yahoo Group), on Craigslist or at
consignment shops like K.C. Kids Hoboken.
• Baby Swing
• Exersaucer
• Bouncy Chair
• Jumparoo
• Baby Gym
Denise Baden is a marketing specialist and contributing editor for Ser Padres, the country’s
leading Spanish language parenting magazine, and Siempre Mujer, a women’s Spanish language lifestyle magazine. She lives in Hoboken with her husband and daughter.
2
HFA May 2011
Getting Ready for Child #2, 3 or 4!
Professional Swim, Sport & Art Instruction
By Shana Lee
Preparing for a new baby is an exciting and scary time, especially with the first child.
When our daughter was born, we had no idea what we would need to do to get our
home ready. I read, bought all sorts of things I didn’t need, read some more and
washed her tiny little baby clothes days in advance. These were the things that I
thought would be the most important. With my second child, I realized that I would need
to complete many more tasks ahead of time. The balancing act of raising two children
began! I would need to really be on top of my game. I know lots of moms in town are
pregnant with number two (or three!), so I thought I’d share a little of what I learned.
Fill Your Freezer : One of the best things that you can do for yourself is to begin
filling your freezer a few months before your baby arrives. The last thing you are going
to want to do when you get home is cook. To save yourself from resorting to take-out
every night, start making doubles of your dinners once a week.
Easy to fill freezer recipes include soups, meatballs, meatloaf, pizza dough, casseroles and lasagna. Make sure to clearly mark the outside of the packaging with what
the item is and the date of preparation. It is also helpful to include directions for reheating and cooking your meal.
Thank you, Thank you: Make sure to purchase plenty of stamps and thank you
notes to keep on hand. Making a trip to the post office will be another last on your list
of things you would want to do. As you know, the gifts will really add up and I found
myself overwhelmed with thankfulness and notes. Keep track of these gifts by keeping
a notebook next to the cards and writing down any baby gifts, gift cards, or meals that
were received from my family and friends.
Diapers Galore: There are always lots of diapers, especially with two or three kids
using them. Sign up for an online delivery service like Amazon Moms or diapers.com,
which are not just convenient but typically the cheapest source of diapers. Try to avoid
buying a lot in the smaller sizes (e.g. newborn) because you will be surprised how few
of these most people go through. Sign up for a automatic refills online and you won’t
have to make a diaper run in the evening when you are tired and ready for bed.
A Little Convenience: There are items that I consider to be convenience items that
are a must have, like paper products. I stocked up on paper plates and cups to save
time from washing dishes. Cleaning wipes for the bathrooms and kitchen are also a
must. We had lots of visitors and it was a piece of cake for my husband to wipe down
the bathrooms and kitchen.
And don’t forget convenience foods for the rest of the family, especially ones your
husband can prepare himself. I also had sippy cups full of milk or water around the
house for the little ones and cereal in bags for her to reach by herself. Making sure the
older one had snacks was crucial in getting time to sit and nurse the baby.
Feed Yourself: Talk about eating—you will find eating to be a difficult task. I found
myself not setting aside any time to eat and when I would want to eat, our little one
would be hungry as well. To make sure I got the nourishment I needed, I kept a basket
of snacks that I could eat between meals. Good things to fill the basket with are granola bars, cereal bars, crackers, and fruit. We also have string cheese, baby carrots,
and fat-free puddings to eat.
Accept Help: The last thing I learned is to accept help if it is offered. I am lucky that
my family lives close by—I readily had my mom or sister stop in. She would watch the
baby while I took my daughter to her classes or even a short trip to the park. The baby
did not miss me, it was my oldest who noticed the difference. I scheduled small outings
around feedings, and it really helped her adjust to all the changes.
Hopefully, these suggestions will help as you prepare for your new little family member. Remember, try and enjoy this time as much as you can. They are only little once
and the days will fly by quicker than you realize. My kids are nine, seven and five now!
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3
HFA May 2011
CELEBRATING 23 YEARS!
FALL FEST OPEN HOUSE
Established in 2002
Five Ways to Find “Me Time”
by Karin Stewart
Finding time for yourself is often a challenge when you have work, family and children to take care of. It seems like there simply is no time. So you just make do, and
keep postponing “Me Time” to later. Me Time is however indispensable. It makes you
more relaxed, happier, more able to deal with challenges as they come up. Not only do
you benefit, but your whole family does too. There is much truth in the saying that
happy mothers make happy families. Children, in particular, tend to reflect what we give
them, and react to our tensions by being tense themselves.
Creating regular time for yourself takes some effort and planning, but here are five
ways to sneak some Me Time in, right now:
• Use the bathroom: It is one of the few places where you are likely to be left in peace,
so make the most of it. Stay for a few more minutes than strictly necessary with a book
or a magazine, for instance. I know moms who will pretend that they need to go, go in,
light a candle and spend a blissful, calm 10 minutes.
• Take advantage of practice times: When your child is at practice or in a class, take
that time to do things for you rather than stay in during the whole class or run errands.
A friend of mine takes advantage of her daughter’s soccer practice to go run.
• Make waiting an oasis of relaxation: Waiting in line is often seen as a frustrating
exercise. Instead, look at waiting—in line, for the children to be released from school
—as a Me Time moment. Take advantage of it to do a mini-relaxation; some deep
breathing exercises; read a few pages of that novel you’ve been hearing about.
• Have a double playdate: Organize a playdate that is for you as well as for your child,
with a mother you love. I have more than once organized playdates for my son with
children who were not his best friends because the mother and I got along so well.
Then the playdate instantly becomes fun and relaxation instead of one more chore.
• Make a wish list or dream about your next vacation: Randomly, throughout the
day, take time to dream. Dream about your next vacation; dream about what you would
like to have; dream about the fun things you’ll do this weekend; dream about the wonderful things you’ll do with a longer block of Me Time, even. Dreaming or thinking about
things we enjoy has been shown to lower our stress levels.
Karin Stewart, PhD, founder of Daily Mastery, gives women the tools and skills they need to
make their lives really work. Find out more at www.DailyMastery.com.
13th Annual HFA Egg Hunt Recap
The HFA Egg Hunt, held on April 16,
was a huge success. More than 400
kids meandered through a “Spring
Farm” featuring camera-ready decorations and props made by art students from Hoboken High School and
Mile Square Theater. Children left
with goody bags filled with marshmallow Peeps provided by Just Born Inc,
Snikiddy All Natural Cheese Fries,
Food Should Taste Good All Natural
Chips, Robert’s American Gourmet Food’s Pirate Booty, and Whole Foods 365 Fruit
Strips. Thanks to a donation by Freeholder Anthony Romano, one lucky boy went home
happy with a brand new bicycle. Dusan Dobric’s 1,002 guess for a “How Many
Jellybeans” game was the closest to the 1,044 colorful candies that actually filled the
jar. Congratulations to Dusan and thanks to all who donated the yummy goodies!!
4
HFA May 2011
Expecting Twins?
By Theresa Knipe
One sunny morning in the fall of 2009, I smiled the biggest smile as I finally saw
“Positive” on my pregnancy test. Being the organized, type A person I am, I had already
figured out how our rather small apartment would fit all the furniture and toys a baby
needs, decided on the UPPA Baby Vista stroller, and had visions of what our family of
three would be like. A week later, at the gynecologist’s office, my plans for one baby
went out the window. Even amidst the excitement, I clearly I saw on the ultrasound
monitor that there were two sacs and two buns in my oven! I was pregnant with TWINS!
As I left the doctor’s office, my mind was racing with many different questions:
• Are we really having two babies?
• Am I going to be enormous?
• What kind of stroller will I need for my twins?
• How can we afford two babies?
• How will I feed two babies at once?
• Will I need two swings, bouncy seats, and exersaucers?
• How do you get two babies on the same schedule?
• How will I do this all day long on my own?
• Will we have to move?
Theresa Knipe is a mom to 9 month old identical twin girls, Summer and Kylie. She would love
to help any new twin moms that may need advice, a pep talk, or have any questions. Send
emails to [email protected].
Bake Sale 5/1/11— Cookies for Kids’ Cancer
Support HFA as we hold a Cookies for Kids’ Cancer Bake Sale on Sunday, May 1
11 am - 6 pm at the Hoboken Arts and Music Festival. Our table will be located on
Washington St. (between Observer Hwy and 7th St). This is a sweet and simple way
for people to get involved in the fight against pediatric cancer. All proceeds will support
Cookies for Kids’ Cancer, a nationally recognized a 501(c)(3) non profit. For more info
or to donate, please visit www.cookiesforkidscancer.kintera.org/hobokenbakesale.
5
HFA May 2011
ENROLL NOW!
Pre-Register
& Save!

Italian songs
puppet shows
story telling
Mommy & Me
Italian for children
SM
I felt absolutely blessed to be able to carry two little babies, but when I was in that
moment, I also felt like my life had been turned upside down and I really needed to put
everything into perspective.
In the summer of 2010, I gave birth to two beautiful, identical twin girls and things
started falling into place. I found the most important thing above all else was getting the
babies on the same feeding and sleeping schedule and keeping to it. I could feed them
at the same time by lying each baby in a Boppy on either side of my body as I sat on
the couch or on the floor. Now, I rarely break the girls’ daily schedule, and because of
that I am able to make it through each day taking care of them on my own.
Everyone having a set of twins immediately worries that most items will be purchased times two. However, we took advantage of the discounts available through
stores such as Babies ‘R’ Us and BuyBuyBaby for two of the same items purchased.
We survived with only having one swing and exersaucer. However, I would recommend
having two Bumbos, bouncy seats, and highchairs, as I found myself using these baby
items for much more then their intended use. After much research on double strollers,
we chose the Baby Jogger City Select, which was a bit pricey, but ideal for urban living.
We also visited the website, www.raising-twins.com/free-stuff-for-twins.html, which
gives addresses and phone numbers to call for coupons and discounts on baby food,
diapers, and wipes. It does take awhile to contact each company, but it is well worth it.
Good luck to all moms pregnant with twins and enjoy the journey through your first
year as a mom of twins!
Classes are
held at:
Monroe Street
Movement Space
20 Monroe St.
5th Floor C-504

Wednesday’s
10 & 11am
www.letsplayinitalian.com (732)-558-4781
SM
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It’s a Great Book, Baby
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By Lois Rubin Gross
The day your baby arrived, someone probably gave you a collector’s edition of “Alice
in Wonderland” or the “Wind in the Willows” and an assortment of books that their
children, aged 8 or 9, loved when they were younger. Put these books on a very high
shelf and save them for your child’s later-in-life library. Now, go to the store or to a yard
sale or a swap meet with friends and find the right book for your pre-reader.
Forget beautiful illustrations. Look for sturdy cardboard or cloth pages that can be
wiped down or, better, yet, thrown in the wash, after they have gone in baby’s mouth.
Look for big, bold pictures and great contrasts. “I Kissed the Baby,” by Mary Murphy, is
a great example of this format. White-on-black or black-on-white will appeal to your
baby. Karen Katz and Sandra Boynton, also queens of this genre, give you lots of smiling babies for children to point out and funny rhymes to reinforce concept learning
(ABC’s or123’s). As always, the humor in these books is for you. If you love to read the
book, your child will love to hear it. The “Max and Ruby” books by Rosemary Wells used
to make us laugh out loud when reading to our daughter. She loved them, too. Dora,
Diego and other licensed characters are fine if you want them in your library. They will
provide cultural literacy as your child joins the playground set. An older child might be
good with manipulative books (like the “Spot and Sally” books by Eric Hill). Be prepared
for the fact that they will get hard wear and are likely to get torn.
Sharing books from a very young age is the best way to build a young reader, and
making sure the books are durable, bright and easy to read will make reading to your
child a most pleasurable past time.
Starting a Family Through Adoption
By Maria Ritchey
www.empiregroup.com
407 Washington Street
201.792.8300
Licensed Real Estate Broker
Questions about selling your home in
today’s market? Call us now to schedule an
appointment with one of our Real Estate
Specialists who will guide you through the
process. We can help you prepare your home to sell,
determine when to list it and for how much, coordinate the
purchase of your next property and create a customized,
comprehensive marketing plan for selling your home.
There are options to starting a family, and one of those is adoption. Going through
the adoption process, however can be very intimidating. There are such decisions as
adopting internationally or domestically; using a lawyer for a private adoption or going
through an agency; adopting an infant or an older child; and the cost to consider.
When my husband and I were considering adoption, we really weren’t sure how to
begin. Based upon a recommendation, we went to an informational meeting in my
hometown over the Christmas holidays. And although the agency was very pleasant,
we weren’t ready to commit to moving forward with this agency based upon location
among other things. However we learned we were ready to commit to moving forward
with adoption.
Initially we thought we would adopt internationally. But we changed our minds after
a discussion my husband had with one of his co-workers. We learned that it was a
“myth” that it took years to adopt a child domestically. We then spoke with a family
friend who had adopted their children through an agency in Pennsylvania, and that
discussion led us to visiting a local branch of their adoption agency. We went to an
informational meeting that led us to where we are today—the proud parents of a bright,
energetic, and beautiful 3 year old.
For us the process took a little over 1.5 years. The process may have gone more
quickly had we stuck closer to a timeline. However we might not have the daughter we
have today. Neither of us would trade what we have for anything. We were hoping to
adopt a newborn, and our daughter was less than 48 hours old when we brought her
home with us. From that moment on, while it felt a little surreal at first, we knew she
was meant to be a part of our family.
Adoption may not be the “traditional” way to have a child, but it is a wonderful way
to build a family. Getting started with the adoption process was challenging, but having
friends share their experiences helped us move forward. Our daughter is proof that
every step along the way was worth it.
6
HFA May 2011
An Organized Spring Cleaning
by Anna Novosyolok
Spring Cleaning is dreadful for most, anticipated by some but necessary for all.
Spring is the perfect time to organize closets, cabinets, drawers, bins, boxes, pantry
and other inside storage areas. Here are five tips on not just surviving and persevering
with it, but making it fun, too:
• Divide and conquer: Do only one task a day e.g. organize your closet on Monday,
your pantry on Tuesday. Assign the basement and garage to your husband. If your kids
are old enough, organizing their room is definitely something they can do to earn extra
points redeemable for something special during the spring break. Enlist younger kids
as your assistants. Have a friendly competition going, whoever finishes first gets an
extra helping of ice cream after dinner.
• Do your homework: Research your local consignment stores, donation centers and
recycling options ahead of time. This way, you’ll know exactly where to take those bags
and boxes instead of piling them up in the garage or den. If you choose to hold a yard
sale, pick a date and work towards it – it will serve as a motivating factor.
• Create a checklist: Organizing is not organizing without a checklist. Are there tasks
you do every year such as taking your winter coats to the dry cleaners or something
you need to do for the first time such recycling electronic equipment: batteries, cell
phones, computers, etc.? Big or small, put all to dos on a list! Once you’re done with
the task, crossing it off will give you a sense of accomplishment.
• Rotate clothes seasonally and pare down as you do it. Ask about every item you
are about to store: Have I worn it this season? Does it fit? Have I enjoyed wearing it?
If you answer no to any of these questions, out it goes. Sell it through a consignment
store, Craigslist, or Ebay; donate it; or, if it’s in very poor condition, throw it out. Use the
money collected to buy one or two items you will actually wear.
• Make it fun: Who says organizing needs to be boring? Turn some upbeat music on.
If it’s nice outside, open the windows to let some of that fresh crisp spring air into the
house. Let the sun shine in and welcome new energy into your home.
Anna Novosyolok is a professional organizer and a Hoboken mom of two. Visit her website and
blog on www.HudsonOrganizing.com. Republished with permission.
Swap Meet Success!
By Michele Hulsman
Thank you to everyone who participated in the 2011 Spring Swap Meet. Our event
was very successful as the number of items for swapping or donation were in the hundreds. Attendees left with items ranging from dresses to jumperoos to jogging strollers.
Thank you to Happy Baby and Leslie Gracz for the giveaways, Steve Walkowiak,
and Dozzino’s Pizza for generously donating pizzas for our volunteers. Extra special
thanks to Timothy Calligy and the Hoboken Board of Education for providing the High
School Cafeteria. As always we would extend special thanks to Stevens Institute of
Technology fraternity, Alpha Phi Omega, including Rena Lee, who assisted in co-running the event, Devin Corson, Mike Arpaia, Lindsay Crossan, Christopher Diggins,
John Griggs, William Haupt, David Kleszyk, Christopher Lim, Kevin Lourenco, Ian
Marcellana, Melissa Matos, Christopher Mclean, Theresa Ponella, Jorge Rivera and
Samantha Samuel. They all worked diligently for hours, sorting, folding and organizing
for the event.
Many attendees found great deals and we were very happy to able to donate hundreds of items to the York Street Project and help build the HFA Philanthropy Fund with
the event proceeds. We look forward to seeing you at our next swap meet in the fall!
7
HFA May 2011
Hoboken
Spring Gala
HOBOKEN FAMILY ALLIANCE
P.O. Box 1194
Hoboken, NJ 07030
NON PROFIT
ORGANIZATION
U.S. POSTAGE PAID
PERMIT NO. 5195
NEWARK, NJ 07102
Address Service Requested
Newsletter Editor: Dalia Tole [email protected]
For a list of other HFA contacts, please visit
hobokenfamily.com
The purpose of the Hoboken Family Alliance is to
improve the Hoboken Community and its way of life
through the efforts of individual and family volunteers.
The HFA focuses its efforts on education and parenting
issues, philanthropy, children’s resources and events.
Stevens
Cooperative
School
A Leader in Progressive
Education since1949
www.stevenscoop.org
Hoboken
Newport
2s - 8th grade
K - 6th grade
and growing
Tours available by appointment.
Financial aid is available to qualified families.
For more information, please call or e-mail:
Hoboken 201.792.3688
Newport 201.626.4020
school @ stevenscoop.org
Stevens Cooperative School is accredited by the
New Jersey Association of Independent Schools
HFA is a 501(c)(3) not-for-profit organization.
For membership, upcoming events, and parenting resources please visit
www.hobokenfamily.com.
If you have stories or story ideas for upcoming issues please email [email protected].
Submissions become the property of HFA and are subject to copyright rules.
Articles and photos cannot be republished without permission.