would you call this woman fat?

RealStyle by Patricia McLaughlin
WOULD YOU CALL THIS WOMAN FAT?
The e-mail, purportedly from
to look like. When (TC)2, the
James Reed Hague in the comTextile/Clothing Technology
munications office at Vogue,
Corp., ran 3-D body scans on
called attention to a story in the
6,500 women, they found that,
January issue about the trials and
although 22 percent said they
tribulations of a supermodel who
wore a size Small, defined as
“struggled to fit in” because she’s
size zero to 6, only 20 of the
“a size 4 in a land of zeros.” She’s
6,500 actually wore the smallest
“a relative giant.” Stylists whisper
scanning garment -- made to fit
behind her back at photo shoots
sizes zero through 4 -- for the
and try to cram her statuesque
scan. Think about that: 20 of
size-4 self into garments that prove
6,500 women wore a size 4 or
humiliatingly too small. They call
smaller; 6,480 wore a larger size.
her curvy, but she knows they
It’s not that nobody
mean fat. She tries desperately to
notices or minds the discreplose weight, starts needing a drink
ancy between what we see in
to face the day, ends up in rehab....
magazines and what most of
I thought it might be a joke.
us look like. We get that our
Then the magazine arrived, with
heads are being messed with.
Stone looking sulky and delecIn September, a small seated
table inside (www.vogue.com/
nude photo in Glamour magfeature/2009/12/vogue-lara-stoneazine of 180-pound model
size-four-healthy-model/), and the
Lizzie Miller unleashed a torstory seemed perfectly plausible,
rent of mail and e-mail from
predictable even. The catty stylists,
readers amazed and delighted
the trial by too-tiny corset, the agoto discover a normal-looking
nies of self-doubt, the descent into
female body in a medium usualcohol, the triumphant rehab, the
ally restricted to stick figures.
brave and beautiful keeping-on. It’s Supermodel Lara Stone, who graces the cover of January Vogue, has suffered One called it “the most amazing
a typically warm-and-wonderful for being “a relative giant” in a field dominated by women who appear to have photograph I’ve ever seen in
been constructed from toothpicks. Photo: Willy Vanderperre/Vogue)
celebutante saga that harks back to
any women’s magazine.” What
so many heart-tugging ugly-duckwas revolutionary: In the picwho stalk the world’s runways.
ling archetypes. (Zelda Fitzgerald
ture (www.glamour.com/healthquixotically committing to the bal- It’s what you tell the talented teen- fitness/blogs/vitamin-g/2009/08/
let in her 30s, way too late. Jessica age Romanian gymnast by way of on-the-cl-the-picture-you-cant.html),
Rabbit trying out for the lead in “Diary explaining why, now that she tips the Miller’s belly actually pooches out
of a Nun”.... OK, I made that up.) scales at an elephantine 127, she won’t a little bit and muffin-tops over onto
A month before, when the e-mail be going to the Olympics. It’s what you her thighs. (begin itals)And(end itals),
popped up in my inbox shorn of all tell a 32DD who wants to be a balleri- she looks perfectly comfortable:
that glossy context, it had sounded na. Sorry, kiddo, you have a gorgeous She’s fine with it. (She also looks
utterly preposterous -- a tragic beau- woman’s body. We can’t use you. gorgeous. She’s a model, after all.)
ty whose terrible secret is that she But, against all odds, things You must understand that the belwears a (begin itals)size 4(end itals)? seem to be working out for Stone. lies you see in fashion magazines
-- a size that 92 percent of the female There she is in Vogue, and she just -- and you see plenty -- are uniformly
population would kill to get into? replaced Madonna as the new face taut and slightly concave. More than
Please! She had to be a refugee from of Louis Vuitton. (Madonna? Wait, slightly concave if the model is supine.
some parallel universe, or an invention I thought that was Sean Connery, In case you missed it, “The
from a more life-stylish version of The gone fishing with a big LV tote....? September Issue,” the documenOnion, the satirical fake-news source. And before that, wasn’t it Gorbachev tary about the making of the 2007
(“Department of Interior Employee in a limo with an LV briefcase? I September issue of Vogue, has a
Caught Embezzling 50,000 Wolves”; must’ve missed Madonna somehow.) telling bit where a hefty cameraman
“Socialites Without Borders Teach Lesson No. 2: Designer-level, shooting film for the movie ends up
Rwandans How to Mingle”; “Bedding magazine-fodder fashion really is in a photo shoot, nearly nose to nose
Officials Demand Thread Recount.”) a parallel universe, as if we didn’t with the featured model. Vogue editor
Lesson No. 1: Context is all. know. It goes merrily on its way, Anna Wintour’s first reaction is that
Karl Lagerfeld says of Stone that pretending to be about the clothes it’s a great shot. Her second is to sug“she has a gorgeous woman’s body” we all wear or aspire to, even though gest that the cameraman’s obvious pot
-- wonderful if you want to be a it mostly only works for the zeros. belly needs to be Photoshopped out.
gorgeous woman, but ordinarily the The fact is, almost nobody else (Next
week:
Can
fashkiss of death if you aspire to join is as skinny as fashion models -- ion learn to handle more realthe army of professional skeletons the women we’re supposed to want ity, or can it only get crazier?)
Samples only
not for release
COPYRIGHT 2010 PATRICIA MCLAUGHLIN