Music Video Shootout St. Patricks Day Fun Hard Rock Essentials

Transcription

READ THE PLANET, IT’S FREE!
VOLUME 4, ISSUE 3
#030206032206
WWW.VALLEYPLANET.COM
March 2 - March 22, 2006
Music
Music Video
Video Shootout
Shootout
St.
St. Patricks
Patricks Day
Day Fun
Fun
Hard
Hard Rock
Rock Essentials
Essentials
60’s,
60’s, 70’s
70’s &
& 80’s
80’s
Letter from the Publisher
Dear readers,
203 Grove Ave., Huntsville Al, 35801, phone 256.533-4613
Publishers
Frankie Glassco
Jill Wood
Graphics & Layout
Frances Damian
Contributors
Holli Isom
Ricky Thomason
Allison Gregg
Leslie Parks
Steve Moulton
Billy Joe Cooley
Rainer Moore
Matt Growden
Jeff Hollaway
Jennifer Roberts
Debby Regan
Mark Barksdale
FiFi Bordeaux
Roy Thomas
Eric White
Randy Van Nostrand
The Valley Planet is printed for you by the good
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in beautiful & sunny Pulaski, Tennessee.
Thank you for reading the fine print of
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You can pick up the paper free all over the
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Reproduction or use without our permission
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Email us at [email protected] or
[email protected]
Spring is almost here! I can’t wait.
Assuming everyone feels the same as I
do, I am really tired of the cold, nasty,
can’t get out of the house weather. I
am so tired of watching television, and
doing all those household chores that
I loathe. I am almost tempted to go
through my spring and summer clothes
but the basic fact of getting my big butt
in them is stopping me. Can’t you just
sit back and imagine yourself sitting on
the beach, feeling the sunshine beam
down as you listen to the rhythm of the
surf hypnotizing you into serenity. Oh
yeah, don’t forget the fruity umbrella
drink, too.
Come on warm weather!
Even though this issue goes to print
two days before the party, I still want
to thank everyone who attended and I
hope everyone enjoyed the Fat Tuesday
celebration at Humphrey’s. I would
also like to thank Rick Riccio and
the Humphrey’s staff along with Don
Allen, Milton and Kevin of the Olde
Town Brewing gang in helping make
the party happen. Thanks guys!
you a 2006 deadline chart to keep you
updated or put your email address on
my reminder list please let me know by
emailing me at
[email protected].
Thanks again!
Frankie Glassco
Sun Worshipper
Everyone knows by now, I hope,
that my main duty with the Valley
Planet is making sure the calendars
are up to date. I gather and compile
the information for each issue. The
responses I receive are tremendous.
Without the help from the businesses,
musicians and organizations, the
calendar would not exist. I do
appreciate your continued support in
keeping the Valley Planet calendar as
the most comprehensive calendar in
the area. If you would like me to email
In The Planet
THE VALLEY PLANET
VOLUME 4, ISSUE 3
#030206032206
NEXT ISSUE March 23, 2006
Page 3
Page 4
Gossip, On the cover
Page 5
Identity Theft, YAM 2006 Youth Art Month
Page 6
Dave Anderson, Marge Loveday
Page 7
Page 8
William Shakespeare Exposed, Renaissance Theatre Bus Stop
Nothing To Do??
Page 9
Toy Shop, Homegrown Talent Contest
Page 10
Music Calendar, Nikko’s
Page 11
Page 12
Dead Workers, A treat your ears don’t want to
miss
Regional Concerts
Page 17
Off the Deep End
Page 18
Calendar of Events
Page 19
Dr. Anarcho’s
Page 20
Sports
Page 21
Single & Fabulous
Page 22
Party of One
Page 23
Page 24
Changing the Alabama Constitution May Be the
Only Sane Path to Future Growth
Listings
Page 26
News of the Weird
Unchained Maladies, Boondocks
Donnie Cox at Freddy’s
Get your
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Planet
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2
VOLUME 4, ISSUE 3
#030206032206
THE VALLEY PLANET
Gossip
By Billy Joe Cooley
Recently engaged journeyman
Clifford T. Hughes Jr., who was
recently a combat engineer in the
army (ours), was celebrating with
A&M students Anton Donaldson,
who just got back from Iraq, and
Darryl Brown..
And at Finnegan’s Irish Pub she
found B’ham’s pretty Kanthi
Reddi helping David Whitten of
SAIC celebrate his 24th birthday.
The ladies all came home from
Sammy’s Steak House singing the
praises of their waiter, Brandon
somebody and singer Mike
Roberts.
Two grand young people will
become husband and wife when
Kelly Ann Phillips and Jarrod
Dan Close tie the matrimonial
knot on March 18.
This is “Be Nice to Grissom’s
Freddy Daniel Day.”  He has
signed on as a Dollar Tree boss on
Airport Road.
The great Ed Mann is back at his
Scottsboro manse and recovering
from a heart problem with his
lovely Betty at his side. Also
sidelined with a heart condition is
Atlantan Eula Langley, wife of
Dr. Ralph.
Our Gal Gail encountered a
happy group of guys partying
Thursday night at Bennigan’s.
r
e
n
i
e
a
r
R oo
M
Then they went down the street to
Kaffee Klastch to socialize with
Cami Myhan and Stan Segers.
At Stanlieo’s she discovered that
two AMPS Project workers, Bo
Williams of Monrovia and Cliff
Loher of Decatur, have become
devotees of the “kitchen sink”
sandwich.
friend Kim Dickens, who is now
a movie star. It must be nice to
move among celebrities.
Speaking of celebrities, we moved
among a bunch of them the other
night in Nashville. That city’s
vice mayor Howard Gentry and
veteran comic Dick Gregory
hosted a grand reception with
hundreds in attendance. Thanks
to Floyd Hardin (Jackson Way
Barbershop) for making our
crowd look fresh and neat when
we attended.
Congrats to beautiful Lilly, a
Saluki owned by Susan Plaiss
(Dog Patch Grooming) of
Hazel Green. Lilly has again
been named Best of Breed at
the prestigious Westminster
Kennel Dog Show in New York’s
Madison Square Garden.
Happy birthday (Feb. 27) to
Sarah Heard, a real cutiepie and
a sweet granddaughter.
Quite the tattle-tell, Gail says
that her Huntsville friend Chris
Lowdell and Clark Jones of
Cullman are back from Los
Angeles where they took in a
Cold Play concert/vacation.
They stayed with ex Huntsvillian
Jamey Hightower in ritzy Palm
Springs, no less. And Chris
hobnobbed with her old Lee High
On the Cover
R
ainer Moore, a senior at Randolph
School and a Huntsville native,
created this piece in Alan Davis’s
art class. The work is mostly acrylic
but also includes watercolor and pastel.
Ranier said that it took him a long time
to finish the piece because it became
several different forms before he was
satisfied with it. His preference is to
work with acrylics and mixed media.
Rainer said he was introduced to art
at a very early age because his mother
Sherry Broyles has been an artist for a
long time. Besides painting, he enjoys
playing the guitar, photography, and
studying film. Hoping to study and
produce film as a career, Rainer says
that he will always be very involved
in art.
The Artistic Images Gallery on
Whitesburg Drive is where Rainer and
other Randolph students work can be
seen.
THE VALLEY PLANET
#030206032206
VOLUME 4, ISSUE 3
3
Unchained
Maladies
Ricky Thomason
A
Writes
nd they think we’re “Crazy in
Alabama.”
Few Haitians see any conflict between
Christianity and voodoo. God works
in mysterious ways anyhow; maybe
this is just another. The remaining 4%
of the Haitian population explain the
incongruous religious beliefs this way;
“One is a bunch of superstitious mumbo
jumbo designed to control and scare the
hell out of the mindless masses -- the
other is just voodoo.”
On February 10th, a Florida woman
lost her head – or someone’s
head. She was arrested at the Fort
Lauderdale Airport after authorities
found a human head in her luggage.
    
Myrlene Severe – now Myrlene is an
Alabama name if I’ve ever heard one
– Myrlene was a passenger on a flight
from Haiti, and was charged with
(what else?) “Smuggling a human
head.” Additional charges were “failing
to declare the head on a customs
declaration form, and transporting
hazardous material.” The skull had
“organic matter” on it.
That sounds like if ol’ Myrlene had just
filled out the proper customs’ HAZMAT
forms, everything would have been
cool.
Anything to declare, Ms. Severe?
“Yes, a yo-ho-ho and a bottle of rum.
Oh, yeah. Silly me. I almost forgot
about that head. I hate it when that
happens. I must be getting old. They
had some great buys on heads at the
Port-Au-Prince bazaar. A big head
was10 bucks, a little head was five,
which is even less than it costs in an
American crack house.”
If Severe doesn’t make a judge doll and
do some serious conjuring and poking
with the pins, each of the charges could
net her up to 5 years in prison. That’s
quite a spell.
artwork by Debbie West
Florida Governor Jeb Bush was
misquoted again as saying, “I wish
my brother George was here.”   In
a continued effort to milk every
situation for political gain, Gov. Bush
is pondering pandering to the religious
right yet again. He hopes to charge the
woman with a 90th trimester abortion,
or some kind of sex crime at the least.
There’s just something about the phrase
“head on an airplane” that sounds
perverted. And as we all know, if one
person on a plane gets something, it’s
just a matter of time before everyone
else wants some too.
They better be careful. They are messing
with Severe’s freedom of religion, and
in America you are free to be any kind
of fundamentalist they want you to be.
The head was that of a male from Haiti
and Severe planned to use it in some
manner with the rituals of her voodoo
religious ceremonies. She didn’t detail
exactly how, and the head isn’t talking.
It’s said the head was to ward off evil
spirits.
Maybe. But it didn’t appear to ward
off much for the brother that had it
first. What do you think happened? He
probably walked into a barbershop and
said, “Take a little off the top.”
Myrlene, why can’t you just carry a
mojo like everyone else?
Is this a case of deja voodoo all over
again? Could be.
Haiti has a population of 8.5 million
people. 80% of them are Catholic,
another 16% are Protestant. That’s
96% of all Haitians. More than half of
them – some 4 million plus -- say they
practice voodoo.
Voodoo too? Yes, voodoo too. They’ll
get you, my pretty – you and your little
dog, too.
Caribbean authorities won’t comment
on the incident publicly, but one was
quoted off the record as saying “You
can’t blame someone for trying to get
a head.”
As for the head itself, no one appeared
too concerned about whose it was, what
happened to the guy – or the rest of him
– or why, when, or where.
An unnamed Aruban official almost
said, “This is no big deal. Tourists
should not be concerned in the least.
They should come to the islands,
mon, and bring much money. All
we’re talking about here is just
another dead black dude. It’s not like
something happened to a beautiful,
young, rich white girl from Alabama.”
Ricky Thomason is a freelance writer from
Huntsville. Email Rick at
[email protected].
Let Ricky know what you think at our forums at
www.valleyplanet.com.
BOONDOCKS
The head Severe used certainly wasn’t
hers. We’re not talking about the
average deadhead here. It’s unclear if
Severe severed several serially, or if the
lone piece of luggage was an isolated
head case.
Christianity is a relative newcomer on
the Haitian religious scene. Voodoo is
an Afro-Caribbean religion with roots
that date back to Africa more than 6000
years, 4000 years before the birth of
Christ. They have big dibs on the “we
got here first” bit.
4
VOLUME 4, ISSUE 3
#030206032206
THE VALLEY PLANET
Identity Theft
Don’t become a victim
By Roy Thomas
Redstone Federal Credit Union
B
ecoming a victim to identity theft
isn’t one of the most important
things on your mind. I certainly
don’t dwell on it on a day-to-day basis,
but I do hear an awful lot about it,
especially on the news, or when I read
about it in a newspaper.
2006 Panoply Billboard Winner
Ashley Brown, 3rd Grade, Harvest Elementary
Unfortunately, identity theft is a
problem that won’t be going away any
time soon. Especially since we’re in the
age of modern technology and nearly
everyone has access to a computer.
But, one good thing to know is the
fact that our Attorney General here
in Alabama, Troy King, along with
Redstone Federal Credit Union, have
partnered to deliver a public education
campaign…which by the way is now
under way, aimed at combating identity
theft.
It’s a 30-second public service
announcement that you may have
already seen on television, the one that
shows a nice, friendly looking lady
rocking in a chair on her front porch…
and then the next thing you see is that
she’s gone and a man is now rocking
in the chair with a threatening look on
his face.
Carly van Waveren, 3rd Grade, Monte Sano Elementary
It’s an eye-catching video…and it’s
meant to be that way. The goal of the
campaign is to raise awareness of the
growing problem of identity theft and
to let you know that you can contact the
Attorney General’s Family Protection
Unit to learn how to protect yourself
from identity theft and how to respond
if you become a victim.
And, here at Redstone Federal
Credit Union, we have a lot of good
information that we can share with you
on how you can reduce your chances in
becoming a victim of identity theft. Just
give us a call or come by any one of our
branches.
It’s something we don’t think about
everyday, but it’s out there and it’s
happening everyday. Identity theft.
Hopefully, it won’t ever happen to you.
Get your
FREE
Valley
Planet
Static Cling
Decal!!
stamped envelope to
203 Grove Ave.
Huntsville, AL 35801
YAM 2006, Youth
Art Month
C
elebrate the exuberant art of
our youth with the YAM 2006,
Youth Art Month exhibition
at the Huntsville Museum of Art. This
exhibition runs March 12-April 30.
The artwork on view will be a
representation of the art taught in
schools in the city and surrounding
counties. This exhibition will not only
be a reflection of the creativity found in
THE VALLEY PLANET
local children but will also be a proud
showcasing for these students and their
families.
Also on display, the Visual Arts
Achievement
Exhibition
which
highlights the blue ribbon finalist
artworks of middle and high school
students in Alabama’s District V. These
works will be on view at the Huntsville
Museum of Art March 12-26 only.
#030206032206
These prize-winning works will then
travel to Montgomery for display with
other regional winners at the Alabama
State Council on the Arts. A work by one
high school student in the Congressional
5th District will be selected as the winner
of the Congressional Art Competition
and will hang in the Huntsville Museum
of Art. It will then travel to Washington
D.C. where it will be on view for one
year with other winners.
Observed each March, Youth Art
Month is promoted by the National
VOLUME 4, ISSUE 3
Arts Education Association and locally
by the Huntsville/Madison County Art
Education Association.
As part of the Museum’s Community
Free Day program, admission will be
waived to all visitors on opening day,
March 12. The Children’s Community
Gallery is also free to the public yearround at the Museum.
Major sponsors for YAM 2006 are
Boeing, The Alabama State Council on
the Arts and Women’s Guild.
5
Marge Loveday
Best Female Singer
By Holli Isom
Dave
Anderson
Best Male Singer
“T
By Holli Isom
here
is too
much
competition for
the value of music
in people’s lives
these days,” Dave
Anderson
told
me when I asked
him how he felt
about pop culture and the significance
of music today. On that particular
night, it was obvious that many people
valued Dave’s music. While so many in
Huntsville have the pessimistic view
that there is no good music in the city,
the audience at The Corner in Bailey
Cove begged to differ. The diverse
group of men and women chose to
unwind on their Friday night listening
to Dave play and sing not only the
popular tunes of the Beatles and U2, but
his own unique blend of music as well.
Dave Anderson got the “bug” for music
at an early age listening to his father
and his friends jam. He listened to a
lot of the radio growing up and found
much of his musical inspiration in the
songs of the Beatles. Dave continues to
have that bug he acquired long ago and
you can find him performing almost
anytime you wish – usually at some
of his favorite places like the Corner,
Crossroads and the Kaffee Klatsch.
But, as obvious as his love for
performing is, Dave is quick to turn the
subject from himself to his newfound
joy in developing younger talent in
the area. He has a studio in Huntsville
and is currently producing a band
called La Salle – who can be seen at
Crossroads – and Billy Ryan, an up
and coming country singer. He says
that young musicians provide access to
other young musicians and open doors
to music in general. Well, I hope for
their sake that these budding artists are
taking notes from Dave – because I’m a
true believer that you can’t get enough
6
good music – and he’s got the good part
down pat.
Though the other side of music may
have been the topic of much of our
conversation, fans of Dave Anderson
need not to worry. He’s not going
anywhere. “I still love to play, I just
hope the other business can be lucrative
and I can just play for the joy of it.”
As for winning best of the Valley in
2005? Dave is honored, but says that
he attributes it all to just being around
so long. OK, enough with the modesty.
Give yourself some credit Dave. It’s
obvious the people of the valley know
where to escape the distractions
life throws at them and just sit
down to enjoy the value of
good music.
(Dave Anderson toured with
Brother Cane from 1994 to
1999, playing guitar and
doing back up vocals.
He has also toured
with Bebe and Cece
Winans in 1991
and 1992. On a
local note, Dave
played from
1992 to 1994
with Then
Again.
T h i s
band
included
local artists
Jim
Cavender,
Anthony and Andrew
Sharpe, and Mark Smith.
Along with the band Dragmatic,
Dave recorded a song called “IF” that
was a recurring song on WB’s popular
show Dawson Creek.)
W
hen asked how she felt about
being named the “Valley
Planet’s Best of 2005,”
Marge Loveday smiled shyly and said,
“I don’t know…I would have picked
someone else.” She was obviously
honored but I had to pry deeper into
that answer; I just had to know who
this incredible musician and vocalist
could have possibly thought deserved
the title more than herself. She simply
replied “anybody but me.” Marge – I
must admit that your modesty made
you even more admirable, but sorry
…I am going to have to agree with
the voters on this one.
Marge Loveday’s
introduction
to
music
came
at the
young age
of eight
when her
grandmother
bought a small
organ from a
yard sale. Marge’s
mother came home
later to find her
playing the newly
purchased instrument
along with the radio.
That’s right ladies and
gentlemen; she’s one of
those naturals...the type of person that
makes the musically challenged like
myself just a little jealous.
VOLUME 4, ISSUE 3
#030206032206
It’s that natural, effortless ability that
makes her a breath of fresh air for
those who just want to relax with a cup
of coffee or a beer after a long day. I
first saw Marge Loveday after one of
those particular days. The last thing
I was looking for on that night was a
loud, crowded bar where I couldn’t
hear myself think much less carry on
a conversation with the person next to
me. I was pleasantly surprised to not
only be able to have that conversation
but also enjoy a soothing voice in the
background singing and playing the
songs I know and love. The songs I
consider the long lost good ones...the
ones I rarely hear in the bar scene these
days.
It didn’t surprise me to hear Marge say
that two of her “musical inspirations”
are Tori Amos and Elton John who
she plays quite a bit of in her set. She
says she likes covering male artists
because it “comes across differently
when a female sings the song.” In fear
of getting stuck in a dreaded musical
“rut”, Marge tends to lean toward
artists that aren’t so mainstream. So, if
you have yet to discover this musical
treat that Huntsville has to offer and
want to escape from the hustle and
bustle of loud bars and the sometimes
hum-drum radio, look for Marge at
two of her favorite places to play in
Huntsville - the Corner and the Kaffee
Klatsch. I think you’ll be pleasantly
surprised.
THE VALLEY PLANET
William Shakespeare Exposed
T
he mysterious origins of The
Complete Works of William
Shakespeare
(abridged)
by
Adam Long, David Singer and Jess
Winfield can be traced to the genesis
of The Reduced Shakespeare Company.
This troupe of zany and well educated
improvisational performers started as a
pass-the-hat operation in 1981 with a 20
minute (condensed) version of Hamlet.
Apparently, the then UC Berkeley
students had nothing better to do during
down time then perform at Renaissance
Faires in San Francisco and Los
Angeles. (Well, every college student
needs a day job, right?). The boys’ fast
paced and witty performance style was
the result of the harsh reality of a street
performing venue. Acts were only
allotted 30 minute time slots, at the most,
and if you didn’t keep the audience’s
attention, the audience simply left. Not
to mention the skill required to gather
said audience in the first place. So, the
trio graduated college then continued
performing. Segments of the show that
were originally improvised became
permanent fixtures as their audiences
naturally selected what was hilarious
from what was merely pretty funny.
Fast forward to the 1987 Edinburgh
Fringe Festival. Years of exposure to
short attention spanned Californians had
produced the first version of Complete
Works. It was not just Hamlet now,
but a full hour of Shakespeare’s other
stuff, about equivalent to today’s Act I.
The boys thought this gig was going to
be it. Surely this was the pinnacle of
show business achievement and they
could happily go back to the States,
say they had a fun run, settle down and
find “real” jobs. But the savvy Scottish
crowd would hear of no such thing.
Complete Works was a blockbuster and
the public demanded more. Soon an
Act II was added, along with increased
audience participation and many, many
more bad wigs. By the end of the
decade, The Complete Works of William
Shakespeare (abridged) was basically
in the form we have today.
The 1990s saw the Reduced Shakespeare
Company performing in such far flung
locals as Japan and Australia as well as
Broadway and extensive tours of the
British Isles. Some of the original trio
left to be replaced by other performers.
The Company has also expanded
operations to include separate US and
UK casts to fuel the worldwide hunger
for intelligent hilarity. And they don’t
just do Shakespeare anymore. The
franchise includes a cornucopia of
shows ranging from the Complete
History of America (abridged) to
Western Civilization: The Complete
Musical (abridged) to The Bible: The
Complete Word of God (not likely to
appear on a Huntsville stage any time
soon).
So what does all of this have to do
with me, I hear you ask? Well, Theatre
Huntsville is presenting Complete
Works this month and you are invited
to join the lunacy of all the Bard’s plays
crammed into 2 hours of shtick, rapid
costume changes, bad Scottish accents
and yes, even worse wigs. No really.
You might want to volunteer to come
up on stage for a spell because audience
participation is not only encouraged;
it’s actually in the script so the actors
have no choice. True to the title, our
triad at least mentions every single
William Shakespeare comedy, tragedy
and history throughout the show. They
even actually perform entire scenes and
segments from the important plays in
the original dialogue (albeit with a few
twisted alterations). They also throw in
ALL of the Sonnets for good measure.
(Bet your English teacher couldn’t do
that!).
Theatre Huntsville’s production of
Complete Works is directed by Kim
Parker and stars Phil Parker, Mark
Parker and Chris Par- I mean, Clark.
Chris Clark. Phil is the Shakespeare
“scholar” of the group. He is the Bard
know-it-all. If left to his own devices,
Phil will lapse into an academic
discourse about the use of codpieces in
Shakespearian times. If you are lucky,
you’ll get off easy with his 5 minute
Coriolanus impression. Phil gets to say
some of the biggest Bard words and he
almost always knows what they mean.
That is more than can be said for some
other cast members… (Mark, if you are
reading this, just bring your dictionary
opening night). Chris is the youngest of
the cast and understandably, the most
delicate. He does harbor a deep passion
for Shakespeare but unfortunately,
that enthusiasm is not tempered by
scholarly discipline. Chris can do real
Shakespeare at times, though. Perhaps
you will catch a glimpse of this artistic
talent, if he doesn’t have a nervous
breakdown first. Oh, and Chris gets
to play all of the girls. Finally, Mark
is the glue that holds the insanity of
the other two players in counterpoint.
Think of him as the father figure that
tries to reel the children back in when
there is at least a shred of dignity left in
the show. Without Mark, Chris and Phil
would eventually kill each other, plain
and simple. If left to his own devices,
Mark would… well I’m not sure what
he would do. He just keeps going on,
a sport and trooper to the end, unable to
actually stop the insanity. Mark is also
an avid fan of interpretive dance.
It would appear that I am coming to the
end of this article. So have you learned
anything? Hopefully I have convinced
you that missing Theatre Huntsville’s
production of the Complete Works of
William Shakespeare (abridged) would
be a crime. I dare say that it would be
an insult to the memory of the man
who remains the greatest writer in
the English language. Somehow, that
would be un-American. And you don’t
want to be un-American, DO YOU?
Do you need to know anything about
Shakespeare to enjoy this show? No.
Do you need to at least, kinda like any
of Shakespeare’s plays? Eh… not
really.
Are you offended by many, many bad
wigs? Hopefully not.
Do you need to enjoy laughing so much
that your side splits and you run the risk
of wetting yourself and they might have
to carry you out on a stretcher because
you have become clinically insane
from too much comedy exposure? Yes,
definitely yes.
-Matt Growden is the Assistant Director
for Complete Works as well as a snappy
dresser. He enjoys Shakespeare in
moderation.
The Complete Works of William
Shakespeare (abridged) is at the Von
Braun Center Playhouse March 10, 11,
16, 17 and 18 at 7:30 p.m. and March
12 and 18 at 2:00 p.m. For ticket
information (group rates available!) call
256 536-0807 or visit our website at
www.theatrehsv.org
THE VALLEY PLANET
#030206032206
VOLUME 4, ISSUE 3
Renaissance
Theatres’Bus Stop
March 10th through 18th
T
he following
provided by
Dramatists
Play Service
“…Mr.
Inge
has put together
an
uproarious
comedy
that
never strays from
the truth.” —NY
Times. “William
Inge should be
a great comfort
to all of us…he brings to the theatre
a kind of warm-hearted compassion,
creative vigor, freshness of approach
and appreciation of average humanity
that can be wonderfully touching and
stimulating.” —NY Post.
THE STORY: In the middle of a
howling snowstorm, a bus out of Kansas
City pulls up at a cheerful roadside
diner. All roads are blocked, and four
or five weary travelers are going to
have to hole up until morning. Cherie,
a nightclub chanteuse in a sparkling
gown and a seedy fur-trimmed jacket,
is the passenger with most to worry
about. She’s been pursued, made love
to and finally kidnapped by a twentyone-year-old cowboy with a ranch of
his own and the romantic methods
of an unusually headstrong bull. The
belligerent cowhand is right behind
her, ready to sling her over his shoulder
and carry her, alive and kicking, all
the way to Montana. Even as she’s
ducking out from under his clumsy but
confident embraces, and screeching
at him fiercely to shut him up, she
pauses to furrow her forehead and
muse, “Somehow deep inside of me I
got a funny feeling I’m gonna end up
in Montana …” As a counterpoint to
the main romance, the proprietor of the
cafe and the bus driver at last find time
to develop a friendship of their own;
a middle-age scholar comes to terms
with himself; and a young girl who
works in the cafe also gets her first taste
of romance.
Performances will be held on the Alpha
Stage At Renaissance Theatre at 1214
Meridian Street, Huntsville, Alabama.
(Next To Lincoln Elementary School.)
Tickets are $14 for the show only.
Special Dinner Theatre March 17 and
18 – Tickets for Dinner and Theatre
$35
Tickets may be reserved
256.536.3117
Reservations strongly advised.
at
More information can be found at
www.renaissancetheatre.net
Renaissance Theatre is a 501(c)(3)
organization.
Ask about Group Discounts and Dinner
& Theatre events.
Reservations required for dinner.
7
Nothing To Do???
by Leslie Parks
T
he St. Patrick’s
Day
custom
came
to
America
(more
specifically, Boston)
back
in
1737
when it was celebrated for the very
first time. Huntsville likes to thank
Ellen McAnally of Finnegan’s who
officially started the custom here
when she organized our city’s first
parade back in 1977. On Friday,
March 17th, you’ll be able to take
part in Huntsville’s 29th Annual St.
Patrick’s Day Parade, which will begin
downtown at Jefferson and Monroe
Streets at 11:30am. Everybody knows
when St Patrick’s Day falls on a Friday
it’s stupid to even consider going in to
the office! After the parade head down
to Finnegan’s on South Parkway where
you can get a plate lunch of corned beef
and cabbage (awesome) and wash it
down with green beer. The party lasts
long into the night and usually spills
into the parking lot not long after it
gets started. Not Irish? Doesn’t matter!
We’re all Irish on the 17th! And don’t
forget HYP’s 2nd Annual “Alive After
Five” St. Patrick’s Day party at the
Depot Roundhouse on Friday night,
too! Last year over 650 of Huntsville’s
Young Professionals turned out for a
good time and this year’s event looks to
be as big or bigger!
Visit our
Tent at
Panoply
April 28-30
8
If you like concerts you‚ve got plenty
to choose from in Huntsville later this
month. Gladys Knight kicks things off
on March 16th followed by Nickelback
on the 18th with special guests Trapt
and Chevelle. After that pull out the
cowboy boots and check out Merle
Haggard on March 26th. I must admit
I‚ve got a soft spot for ole Merle because of his pairing with Willie Nelson
on Pancho & Lefty. (This song, according to my father when he‚s had a beer
or three, is „Quite possibly the greatest
country song ever written!‰) If Merle‚s a little too tame for you just wait
Œtil Tuesday, the 28th, and catch Motley Crue on their „Carnival of Sins‰
tour instead. For my money I could care
less about the Carnival of Sins∑ give
me a show full of nothing but cuts from
„Too Fast For Love‰ or „Shout at the
Devil‰ and I‚d be perfectly happy and
right back in high school. On March
31st Brad Paisley is bringing his „Time
Well Wasted Tour‰ to town. I know
several men who‚re looking forward to
this show because Sara Evans will be
opening up that night along with Billy
Currington. Enjoy the month∑. it‚s
definitely feast time.
that’s one of the great things about being
a grown up…. the girls can go if they
want to! On Wednesday, March 15th,
I’m taking my sister and some of our
best girlfriends to see what we missed
all those years ago when the Harlem
Globetrotters return to the Von Braun
Center as part of their “Unstoppable”
Tour in this, their 80th consecutive
season. I love NCAA March Madness
cause you never know what will happen
or who’ll pull the upset. I’m thinking
the Globetrotters will be fun, too, for
the same reason. (And who knows?
Maybe the New York Nationals will
win. It could happen! At last count the
Globetrotters had actually been beaten
343 times in the past.)
Luciano Pavarotti once said, “One of the
very nicest things about life is the way
we must regularly stop whatever it is we
are doing and devote our attention to
eating.” Luckily, South Huntsville has
a new restaurant that allows us to do just
that. In early January Huntsville native
and fellow Huntsville High graduate
Trey Aiken took his 20 years of diverse
restaurant experience and opened up
South Park Café in Huntington Center.
From humble beginnings as a Subzone,
Trey has transformed the modest
space into Huntsville’s newest upscale
eatery complete with track lighting and
linen napkins. They’re open for lunch
Monday – Friday from 11am-3pm but
all the talk is about dinner and rightfully
so. My good friend Andra Adams had a
birthday a few weeks back and several
of us celebrated with her over dinner at
South Park. (One of the hot topics that
night was how delicious the food was
and what a great new secret we had just
discovered.) South Park has a great wine
list in addition to many different beers.
There were several appetizers to choose
from - we ordered the crab-stuffed
mushrooms and all of them quickly
disappeared. Entrees vary and that night
several of us chose the pork tenderloin,
a filet, and the shrimp pasta along with
several of the different family style
sides. (Three words for the corn: Oh my
God!) Bites were shared all around. It
was agreed that we couldn’t have had a
better meal anywhere else in town. The
secret is officially out: If you’re tired of
eating the same old thing at the same
old place, treat yourself and head down
South Parkway to South Park Café. You
won’t be disappointed! (And get the
bread pudding… the same three words
apply to it, too!)
The Wine Cellar on Whitesburg is
hosting a Wine Tasting and Artist
Opening on Friday, March 3rd from 4:30
– 6:30pm. Local artist Zara Edwards
will be presenting pieces for sale from
her new and imaginative collection
that inspires the soul: “La Dolce Vita”.
These ‘affordable and portable’ works
of art capture the essence of simplicity,
fun, warmth, and of course the sweet
life of Spring, which is just around the
corner. Stop by to sample the wine, taste
the food, meet Zara and find the newest
work of art your walls just can’t live
without.
How old do you have to be before you
stop caring about Spring Break? (I
keep wondering because it just hasn’t
happened to me yet!) Sometimes I
don’t have enough vacation time or
money saved up to go anywhere or
do anything… but I always feel like I
should be doing something! This year
I did manage to plan ahead so I’ll be
going down to Destin for a few days
to lie outside and mutter to myself “It’s
never warm enough to go to Destin
for Spring Break… what were you
thinking?!?” Lucky for me I made it to
Cancun last month so I’ve already had
a good dose of sun and won’t be totally
bummed when I freeze my can off in
a few weeks. If you need to take your
show on the road Sterling Travel on
Madison Street is full of great people
who specialize in vacation planning.
You can always call them for a little help
if you need to escape the ordinary for a
few days. (Just don’t ask for me when
you call…. I book business trips!)
Hard to believe how time has flown…
tha Loft at Lowe Mill on Seminole
Drive will be celebrating their One
Year Anniversary on March 4th! Rock/
blues band Cue, from Florence, will be
there along with The Silhouette String
Quartet and Comedian T. Jones. Tha
Loft is an art, music, and entertainment
venue for artists to show their talent and
gain exposure. It’s a great place to go
when you think you’ve seen everything
and there’s Nothing To Do…
Whenever I hear the names
Meadowlark Lemon, Geese Ausbie, or
Curly Neal I’m reminded of the time
in my life when I thought the Harlem
Globetrotters were the very best thing
you could ever be lucky enough to see
on Wide World of Sports. I remember
as a child my dad taking my brothers to
see them at the Von Braun Center and
all I could think was “What a rip-off!
Why don’t the girls get to go?” I guess
VOLUME 4, ISSUE 3
#030206032206
THE VALLEY PLANET
HOMEGROWN
TALENT CONTEST
Toy Shop
AUDITIONS
for 10-Minute Plays
to be performed at Panoply Arts
Festival
uditions for the winning plays
of Panoply Arts Festival’s 10Minute Playwright Competition
are scheduled for the following dates:
By Holli Isom
A
T
he Arts Council is searching
for participants ages 10 and
up to perform in Panoply Arts
Festival’s Homegrown Talent Contest.
The purpose of the Homegrown Talent
Contest is to provide participants a
forum to show off their skills in dance,
drama /comedy, or music. A select
group of finalist from each preliminary
round will be chosen to compete at the
Official Homegrown Talent Contest
Final Round at Panoply Arts Festival,
Sunday, April 30th.
The two preliminary rounds
scheduled for the following dates:
are
Saturday, February 25th from 1p.m.
- 4 p.m.
Alabama A & M
Edward S. Johnson Little Theatre
Morrison Building
Saturday, March 4th from 1 p.m. – 4
p.m.
Madison Square Mall
Lower level JC Penney Court
Judging criteria includes (but is not
limited to) stage presence, crowd
response, time allotment, creativity, and
quality of performance. Participants
must come prepared to perform for
at least 2 minutes with a maximum
of 6 minutes. All material must be
considered G-rated and family friendly.
Winners who reach the Final Round
of the Homegrown Talent Contest at
Panoply Arts Festival will compete for
the following prizes: 1st Place $100, 2nd
Place $50, and 3rd Place $25.
For more information or to register,
please visit Panoply Arts Festival’s
website at www.panoply.org or call
256-519- ARTS (2787).
Now Accepting
Applications for
5th Annual Poetry
Festival
THE VALLEY PLANET
Best Band
Monday, March 13th at 6 p.m.
UAH, Room 200 of Morton Hall
Wednesday, March 15th at 6 p.m.
The Arts Council, located in the north
end of the VBC next to the Playhouse
In its second year, The 10-Minute
Playwright Competition has shown
tremendous growth by
tripling the number of plays received
last year. Winning playwrights have the
chance to see
their works come to life during the
weekend long Panoply Arts Festival,
April 28- 30, 2006
in the Huntsville Museum of Art’s
Richard / Roper Room. This year’s
winning plays and
playwrights include:
“Racking your Brain,” by Jeff Graham
and Jason Pittman
Huntsville, AL
“Dinner with the Dixons,” by Kimberly
Hubbard
Decatur, AL
“The Blessed Sisters of the Pearly Gates
Community Church Kitchen,”
by Susan R. Livingston
Huntsville, AL
“Barbed Wire Minute,” by Krista
Knight
Portola Valley, CA
“The Bachelor,” by Stanley Toledo
Richmond, CA
For more information, please visit
the Panoply Arts Festival website at
www.panoply.org or call 256-519-2787.
All events at Panoply Arts Festival are
family friendly.
“U
nder the umbrella of rock”
is how bass guitarist Matt
Ross describes the sounds
of Toy Shop. I like that description, and
it seems to be the only accurate way to
describe the unique blend of music these
guys play. Strong three part harmony,
good luck in the song writing arena and
musical inspirations from Tom Waits,
to Hendrix to Phish make this band the
Toy Shop of today. This particular line
up has been around since 2004 with Jim
Kolacek on drums and vocals, Matt Ross
at bass guitar, and British born brothers
Andrew and Antony Sharpe completing
the foursome. Andrew, on keyboards
and lead vocals is the “quiet genius”
of the band who writes most of their
songs and provides all of their artwork,
and Antony – known to the band and
most others as Ant – adds to the group
with the guitar and vocals. Though each
member has a diverse personality and
talent to add, they all agree on one thing
– with any component missing, they
would not be Toy Shop.
producing the album. This new release
will be a live album recorded at the
Second Street Music Hall in Gadsden
and the enthusiasm among these guys
could not be greater. They are pumped
to say the least and hope that they can
get on the road more with the strength
of the new album.
So, in other words, all you readers and
fans better catch them before they take
off. Two good places to start would
be Crossroads on Tuesday nights and
Philby’s on Thursday nights. Each
night has a different “flavor” so check
them both out for the full Toy Shop
experience. If you want to learn more
about the guys or their album check out
www.myspace.com/toyshop. The boys
of Toy Shop are big fans of The Valley
Planet and want to thank all the voters
for choosing them as best of the Valley
for the third year in a row. However,
Ant adds, “we don’t feel like we’re the
best, when you feel that way, you might
as well pack up and go home.”
During most of my conversation with
these guys, I felt like I was just hanging
out at a bar laughing and joking with
old friends, but soon the conversation
turned to a subject of serious excitement
- an upcoming album set to be released
sometime in March. This is the second
album for Toy Shop but the first for this
line up. Johnny Sandlin – well known
for his work with the Allman Brothers
and Widespread Panic – will be
E
ntries for the 5th annual
Limestone Dust Poetry Festival
are now being accepted. The
event will be held on Saturday, April
8, 2006 at the Huntsville-Madison
County Public Library. Both
traditional and contemporary poets
are encouraged to enter. Submissions
must be received by March 17. Guest
speakers will include retired UAB
professor James Mersmann, Alabama
poet Thomas Rabbitt, and two slam
poets from Atlanta. Entry forms and
more information are available at www
.limestonedustpoetry.org.
#030206032206
VOLUME 4, ISSUE 3
9
GEM
Having Fun at Nikko’s on Saturday Night with...
Gabe Larose - Guitar / Harmonica / Vocals
Mike Johnson - Guitar / Vocals
Edgar - Guitar / Vocals
Andy Benefield - Percussion
Hampton Cove
music calendar
10
MUSIC
Thursday, March 2
3rd Base Grill, Edgar
Benchwarmer, Karaoke W/
Craig
Benchwarmer Too, Karaoke
Contest
Black Water Hattie’s, Karaoke
Bobby G’s, Karaoke
Coppertop, Open Mic Night
Hosted By E.Z. Axess
Crossroads, Paul Thorn
Flying Monkey Arts Center,
Jenn Adams Trio
Freddy’s, Pla’ Station
Hopper’s, Rudy Mockabee And
The Music Factory
Humphrey’s Bar & Grill, The
Jony James Blues Band
VOLUME 4, ISSUE 3
#030206032206
Judge Crater’s, Tom Nieman
Kaffeeklatsch @Night, Dave
Anderson
Nikko’s, Larry Woellhart
Philby’s Pourhouse, Toy Shop
Sammy’s Live, Karaoke W/
Anita Palmer
Sports Page, 5 O’clock Charlie
The Corner (Bailey Cove), Jim
Cavender
The Corner (Hampton Cove),
Lacey Atchison
The Warehouse, Tom
Cremeens
If you have a venue with Live Music or
Karaoke that you would like for us to
list please email to
[email protected]
Continued on Page 11
THE VALLEY PLANET
S PO T L IG HT O N MUS I C
Dead Workers Party
Presents
Music Video Shootout
2006
By Jeff Holloway
T
he Dead Workers Party will be
hosting a Music Video Shootout
at the Flying Monkey Arts Center
on the weekend of March 18th. Local
filmmakers will get a chance to show off
their skills and maybe make some green
at this 24 hour music video contest.
One song by a local musician or band
will be chosen for the event. On March
18th at noon the four finalist directors
will hear the song. Then it’s off to the
races as they will have just one short
day to shoot and edit their video. That
night at the Flying Monkey, there will
be a concert featuring the winning
musician. Come back to the Monkey
the following day at noon when the
contestants will present their work
for viewing. A panel of judges, the
musicians, and the audience will decide
who made the best video.
The concert and award ceremony are
free to the public. The Flying Monkey
is located at 2211 Seminole Dr. in
Huntsville.
The Dead Workers Party will be filming
a documentary of the events. If you
want to get involved, please drop an
email to [email protected].
A treat your ears don’t want to miss
By Jennifer Roberts
T
alking to jazz guitarist Skip
Heller on the phone is similar
to listening to him play—an
experience that leaves you feeling
refreshed, rejuvenated, and thoroughly
entertained.
Huntsville
music
enthusiasts who are not already familiar
with Skip will have the chance to find
out for themselves on Friday, March 10
at the Flying Monkey. Skip’s upcoming
show will mark the release of his new
album entitled Liberal Dose, which
is the first nationally-released album
to ever be recorded live in Huntsville
(and with the Flying Monkey as the
recording venue). The show starts at 8
pm. Tickets are $7.
An L.A. resident, Skip was raised in
Philadelphia and was even born the
same day Johnny Cash was arrested
for smuggling amphetamines across the
border from Mexico. Although he lives
thousands of miles away, Skip made it
clear that coming to Alabama was not at
all out of the way. Skip has performed
with numerous musicians from local to
international fame, including organist
Chris Spies and drummer David White,
who he performs with when he comes
to Alabama three times a year. Spies
and White are featured with Skip on the
new album.
Skip has been a prolific artist to say the
least. He has made sixteen records;
produced thirty-one records in a twoyear period; and has collaborated
with artists like Stan Ridgeway, Dave
Alvin, and the New Rhythm and Blues
Quartet. In February, he recorded the
theme song for the NPR show Duplex
Planet Radio Hour with Los Lobos.
He also recorded a song for the cartoon
Dexter’s Laboratory, a third of the score
for The Flintstones, a jazzy version of
Powerhouse for the Bernie Mac Show,
and all of the music for a new Disney
animation pilot.
When asked to describe his musical
influences, Skip said, “Grant Green,
MUSIC
Continued From Page 10
Madison
Half Time Bar & Grill, “Not-AStar” Karaoke
Decatur
The Brick, Lanier
Guntersville
Adrian’s, Live Music
Sandy’s Roadhouse, Karaoke
Scottsboro
The Docks, Trey, Kenny &
Coach
THE VALLEY PLANET
Friday, March 3
801 Franklin, Dave McConnell
“The Sinatra Guy”
American Legion Post 176,
Square One
Craig
Black Water Hattie’s, Big
Daddy Kingfish
Bobby G’s, Blue Flame
Club Ozz, Enchanted Illusion
Coffeetree Books & Brew,
Sam Sims
Crossroads, Redd Letters, Stars
Below & Tyler Cain
Esquire Lounge, Chaos
Freddy’s, Redd Letters
Furniture Factory, The Scratch
Band
Hipocratease Retro Lounge,
#030206032206
Stevie Wonder, John Hartford, Johnny
‘Guitar’ Watson, Cannonball Aderly—
If you used that for a police composite
sketch on the street, they’d pick me up
in twenty minutes.”
Skip speaks of his career and passion
as a “hunting, gathering, and sharing
of [my] knowledge with others…and
with great pride.” Skip said he believes
jazz isn’t just something that should
be taught in a classroom. It should be
heard socially, he said, not heard about.
If you visit Skip’s web site, you’ll
find a multitude of praising reviews
he’s received both nationally and
internationally. One that says it all is
from the founder of Cosmik Debris
Magazine, who wrote, “Someday, some
way, we’ve got to get everybody to
listen to Skip Heller for a few minutes,
because at the moment it seems too
many people missed a memo. This is
one of our best musicians, world. Listen
up.”
Liberal Dose will be available in stores
in Alabama the first week in March but
will not be released elsewhere until
April 7. Skip also has a documentary
DVD that was filmed, in part, at the
Monkey. The DVD will be available
at the show.
For more information, check out Skip’s
web site at www.skipheller.com, which
also includes samples of his music,
photos, a live journal, and a very
impressive bio.
The Flying Monkey is located at Lowe
Mill, 2211 Seminole Drive. For more
information, check out www.flyingmon
keyarts.org.
Destanee Christopher, 2nd Grade,
Madison County Elementary
Tom Neiman
The Music Factory
Humphrey’s Bar & Grill, Free
World
Judge Crater’s, Mattiod
Kaffeeklatsch @Night, Cracker
Jacks
Moody Mondays, HDK Karaoke
Nikko’s, Edgar
Olde Towne Coffee Shoppe,
Live Music
Philby’s Pourhouse, Dave
McGinnis & Dave Fincher
Sammy T’s Music Hall, U.S.
Sammy’s Live, Live Music
Sammy’s Sports Bar &
Steakhouse, Mike Roberts
Sports Page, Duane Walker
The Corner (Bailey Cove),
Dave Anderson
VOLUME 4, ISSUE 3
Lisa Busler
The Warehouse, Lacey
Atchison,(5-7pm) Happy Hour
The Warehouse, Scott Morgan
Upscale, Ultimate Cabaret
Madison
11th Frame Bar, Karaoke W/
Jim Nelson
Half Time Bar & Grill, Big Dan
And Black Cat Moan
The Station, Kozmic Mama
Decatur
Hard Dock Café, Short Bus
The Brick, Tucos Pistol
11
Regional Concerts
March 2006
Birmingham
Huntsville
March 16
Gladys Night
VBC Arena
MUSIC
Guntersville
Blue Parrot, Big Nose Roy
Scottsboro
Guntersville
Scottsboro
Coach
Saturday, March 4
801 Franklin, Greg Chambers
& Keith Taylor
Square One
Benchwarmer, The Crawlers
Benchwarmer Too, Push
Bobby G’s, Blue Flame
Club Ozz, Surprise
Entertainment!
Open Mic Night
Coppertop, Dan Hardin And
Ron Jefferies
Crossroads, Bonepony
Freddy’s, Voodoo Dogz
Furniture Factory, Brian Cagle
& Jeff Goebel
Live Music
The Music Factory
Humphrey’s Bar & Grill, Yes
No Maybe
Judge Crater’s, Live Music
Kaffeeklatsch @Night, Larry
Lynch And Danny Cannon
Nikko’s, Gem
Philby’s Pourhouse, Donnie &
Lisa
Sammy T’s Music Hall, Velcro
Pygmies
Sammy’s Live, Heartland
Sports Page, Live Music
Lisa Busler
Live Music
The Warehouse, Jerry Fordham
Upscale, Marge Loveday,(9pmMidnight)
Madison
Jim Nelson
Half Time Bar & Grill, Big Dan
And Black Cat Moan
Decatur
Hard Dock Café, Booty Shakers
AKA Y, T & T
The Brick, Skipp Grifin
12
Adrian’s, Mason Reed
Blue Parrot, Big Nose Roy
Coach
Sunday, March 5
Coppertop, The Crawlers
Crossroads, Estoria & Hi-9
Freddy’s, Karaoke
Hopper’s, Brunch W/Edgar And
Evening With Janice’s Karaoke
Kaffeeklatsch @Night, Blues
Jam
Sports Page, Tunes Karaoke
Sunday Jam Sessions W/Scott
Morgan
Monday, March 6
BENCHWARMER TOO, Karaoke
Crossroads, Open Mic Night
Freddy’s, Donnie Cox Acoustic
Showcase
Humphrey’s Bar 6 Grill, Scott
Morgan
Kaffeeklatsch @Night,
Acoustic Showcase/Open Mic
Dave Anderson
Jerry Pearson
The Warehouse, Tim’s Krazy
Karaoke
March 18
Nickelback, Trapt,
Chevelle
VBC Arena
March 26
Merle Haggard
VBC Concert Hall
March 26
Switchfoot
UAH Rec. Ctr.
March 28
Motley Crue
VBC
Atlanta
March 14
George Thorogood & the
Destroyers
Coca-Cola Roxy Theatre
March 15
Motley Crue
Phillips Arena
Gadsden
March 5
The Legendary Dr. John
Gadsden Amphitheatre
March 10
Mark Hummel
2nd Street Music Hall
March 11
Codetalkers w/Col. Bruce
Hampton
March 18
The Crawlers
Nashville
March 2
David Gray
Ryman Auditorium
March 7
Van Morrison
Ryman Auditorium
Tuesday, March 7
March 19
Brian Regan
Alabama Theatre
March 22
Rob Zombie w/Lacuna Coil
& Bullet For My Valentine
The Tabernacle
Guntersville
3rd Base Grill, DJ W/Live Trivia
Craig
Coppertop, HDK “Jackpot”
Karaoke
Crossroads, Toy Shop
Hopper’s, Janice’s Karaoke
Humphrey’s Bar & Grill,
Absylom Rising
Philby’s Pourhouse, Mike
Roberts
Jammin’ Jeff
Scott Morgan
Dave Anderson
March 12
James Taylor
BJCC
Get your
FREE
Valley
Planet
Static Cling
Decal!!
stamped envelope to
203 Grove Ave.
VOLUME 4, ISSUE 3
#030206032206
March 19
Kris Kristofferson
Ryman Auditorium
Memphis
March 3
Third Day
FedEx Forum
March 7
Sheryl Crow
Orpheum Theatre
March 18
Kid Rock
FedEx Forum
THE VALLEY PLANET
MUSIC
Guntersville
Contest
Wednesday, March 8
HDK “Jackpot” Karaoke
Songwriter’s Open Mic Night
Crossroads, Dave Anderson
Freddy’s, Dan Hardin And Ron
Jefferies
Furniture Factory, Jerry
Mcallister
The Music Factory
Humphrey’s Bar & Grill, Mark
Hummel & The Blues Survivors
Nikko’s, Edgar
Philby’s Pourhouse, Ben
Trussell
Steakhouse, Jason Albert Band
Sports Page, Pla’ Station
Noel Webster
Reese Rushton
Decatur
The Brick, Live Music
Guntersville
Contest
Thursday, March 9
Craig
Contest
Crossroads, Sandia
The Music Factory
Humphrey’s Bar & Grill, Nick
Moss & The Flip Tops
Anderson
Anita Palmer
Sports Page, 5 O’Clock Charlie
Marge Loveday
Lacey Atchison
The Warehouse, Tom
Cremeens
Madison
Decatur
The Brick, Electric Voodoo
Guntersville
Adrian’s, Pete And Stacy
Scottsboro
Coach
THE VALLEY PLANET
Friday, March 10
& Keith Taylor
Square One
Benchwarmer, Garth Metal
Weekend
Black Water Hattie’s, Hot Rod
Otis
Bobby G’s, Live Music
Weinstock
Crossroads, Adam Hood/Jay
McGinnis & Dave Schrimsher
Skip Heller
Freddy’s, Blood River
Furniture Factory, Anita
Palmer
Tom Neiman
The Music Factory
Humphrey’s Bar & Grill, Nick
Moss & The Flip Tops
Kaffeeklatsch @Night, Tommy
Womack Band
Moody Mondays, Hdk Karaoke
Nikko’s, Edgar
Live Music
Sammy T’s Music Hall, Browns
Creek
Sammy’s Live, DJ E
Dave Anderson
Donnie Cox & Lisa Malone
The Warehouse, Tom
Creemens & Jeff Everett
Madison
Jim Nelson
Half Time Bar & Grill, Straight
Jacket
Decatur
Hard Dock Café, Big Daddy
Kingfish
The Brick, 5 O’Clock Charlie
Guntersville
Live Music
The Music Factory
Michael Warren Band
Judge Crater’s, Dan Hardin
Kaffeeklatsch @Night, Ant
And Andrew
Nikko’s, Gem
Philby’s Pourhouse, Live Music
Sammy’s Live, Juice
Donnie & Lisa
Dave Anderson
The Warehouse, Marge
Loveday
Madison
Jim Nelson
Half Time Bar & Grill, Live
Music
The Station, Black Eyed Susan
Decatur
Hard Dock Café, Blue Flame
The Brick, Ahead Of The Wake
Guntersville
Adrian’s, Dancing Outlaws
Sunday, March 12
Crossroads, Halo Stereo
The Can Kickers, The Counter
Clockwise
Freddy’s, Karaoke
Jam
Sunday Jam Sessions With Scott
Morgan
Monday, March 13
Showcase
Microwave Dave, Solo
Saturday, March 11
801 Franklin, Jazzanova Duo
Square One
Benchwarmer, Garth Metal
Weekend
Benchwarmer Too, Paone
Bobby G’s, Live Music
Club Ozz, Surprise
Entertainment!
Open Mic Night
Coppertop, Danny Hall And
Charlie Howell
Crossroads, Moonshine Still
FLYING Monkey Arts Center,
Experimental Music Festival
Freddy’s, Tony Joe Scott Band
Furniture Factory, Driving
South
#030206032206
VOLUME 4, ISSUE 3
13
MUSIC
Dave Anderson
The Corner (Hampton Cove),  
Karaoke
Guntersville
Tuesday, March 14
3rd Base Grill, DJ W/Live Trivia
Craig
Karaoke
Humphrey’s Bar 6 Grill, Marge
Loveday
Roberts
Jammin’ Jeff
Scott Morgan
Dave Anderson
Contest
Wednesday, March
15
Jefferies
Furniture Factory, The Scratch
Band
The Music Factory
Harmonica Red & The New
Heard
Nikko’s, Edgar
Philby’s Pourhouse, Sam
James
Sammy’s Live, DJ E
Noel Webster
Marge Loveday
Madison
Decatur
The Brick, Tim Tucker
Guntersville
Contest
Thursday, March 16
Craig
Contest
VOLUME 4, ISSUE 3
Madison
Decatur
The Brick, David Higgenbotham
Guntersville
Scottsboro
Guntersville
14
Crossroads, Live Music
The Music Factory
Harmonica Red & The New
Heard
Anderson
Anita Palmer
Sports Page, 5 O’clock Charlie
The Corner (Bailey Cove), Jim
Cavender
Lacey Atchison
The Warehouse, Tom
Cremeens
#030206032206
Coach
Friday, March 17
801 Franklin, Jim Cavendar
Square One
Benchwarmer, March Madness
Black Water Hattie’s, The
Crawlers
Bobby G’s, Hot Rod Otis
Live Music
Crossroads, Dubconscious
Freddy’s, St. Patricks Day With
Sister Luck
Furniture Factory, Brian Cagle
& Jeff Goebel
Tom Neiman
The Music Factory
Humphrey’s Bar & Grill, The
Fiddleworms
Kaffeeklatsch @Night, Hash
Browns
Nikko’s, Edgar
Live Music
Philby’s Pourhouse, Booga
Funk
Sammy T’s Music Hall, Black
Eyed Susan
Sammy’s Live, Dj E
The Corner (Bailey Cove), St.
Patty’s Day Party W/Maple Hill
Band And Dave Anderson
Live Music
The Warehouse, Live Music
THE VALLEY PLANET
Madison
Jim Nelson
Beef O’Brady’s, St. Patrick’s
Day Party W/Barry Kay
Music
Decatur
Hard Dock Café, Iguana Party
The Brick, St. Patrick’s Day
Party W/Bishop Black
Guntersville
Saturday,March 18
& Keith Taylor
Square One
Benchwarmer, E-Z Axess
Benchwarmer Too, Jason
Albert Band
Bobby G’s, Hot Rod Otis
Club Ozz, Surprise
Entertainment!
Open Mic Night
Coppertop, 4 Door Ramblers
Crossroads, Lasalle/Michael
Warren
Music Video Shootout 2006
Hosted By The Deadworkers
Party
Freddy’s, Stone Dogz
Furniture Factory, Scott
Morgan
Live Music
The Music Factory
Humphrey’s Bar & Grill, Five
O’Clock Charlie
Kaffeeklatsch @Night, Cracker
Jacks
Nikko’s, Gem
Sammy’s Live, Kozmic Mama
Ben Trussell
Live Music
The Warehouse, Marge
Loveday
Madison
Jim Nelson
Music
Decatur
Hard Dock Café, Hot Mixx
The Brick, Kai
Guntersville
Adrian’s, Browns Creek
Sunday, March 19
Crossroads, Erotic Bingo
**Fundraiser For The Vagina
Monologues**
Music Video Shootout 2006
Hosted By The Deadworkers
Party
Freddy’s, Karaoke
Jam
Sunday Evening Jam Sessions
With Scott Morgan
Monday
March 20, 2006
Showcase
Microwave Dave, solo
Dave Anderson
Live Music
Karaoke
Guntersville
Contest
Tuesday, March 21
5
0
20
3rd Base Grill, Dj W/Live Trivia
Craig
Karaoke
Humphrey’s Bar & Grill, Lacey
Atchison
Roberts
Scott Morgan
Dave Anderson
Guntersville
Contest
Wednesday, March
22
THE VALLEY PLANET
#030206032206
VOLUME 4, ISSUE 3
15
MUSIC
Jefferies
Fordham
The Music Factory
Humphrey’s Bar 6 Grill, Mike
Roberts
Nikko’s, Edgar
Philby’s Pourhouse, Donnie
Cox
Noel Webster
Reese Rushton
Decatur
The Brick, Chad Reeves
Guntersville
Thursday, March 23
Craig
Contest
Crossroads, Live Music
The Music Factory
Humphrey’s Bar 6 Grill, Free
World
Anderson
Anita Palmer
Sports Page, 5 O’Clock Charlie
Marge Loveday
Lacey Atchison
The Warehouse, Tom
Cremeens
Decatur
The Brick, Jason Speagle
Guntersville
Madison
Scottsboro
Coach
Friday, March 24
& Keith Taylor
Square One
Craig
Black Water Hattie’s, Cracker
Jacks
Bobby G’s, Voodoo Dogz
Larry Woelhart
Crossroads, Stars Below/Be It
The Means
Freddy’s, Blood River
McAllister
Tom Neiman
The Music Factory
Microwave Dave & The Nukes!
Kaffeeklatsch @Night, Eric
Rhodes Blues Band
Nikko’s, Edgar
Captain Perry
Philby’s Pourhouse, 4 Door
Ramblers
Dave Anderson
Jim Cavender
The Warehouse, Live Music
Madison
Jim Nelson
Half Time Bar & Grill, Tony Joe
Scott Band
Bobby G’s, Voodoo Dogz
Club Ozz, Surprise
Entertainment!
Open Mic Night
Coppertop, Live Music
Crossroads, Rockabilly RoundUp And Burlesque Show
Teye & Belen, Flamenco At Its
Best!
Freddy’s, Black Label
Furniture Factory, Lipstick
Live Music
The Music Factory
Humphrey’s Bar & Grill, Toy
Shop
Judge Crater’s, Dan Hardin
Kaffeeklatsch @Night, Glen
And Libba
Nikko’s, Gem
Live Music
Dave Anderson
The Warehouse, Scott Morgan
Madison
Hard Dock Café, Lipstick
The Brick, Tim Tucker And The
Uh-Huhs
Jim Nelson
Half Time Bar & Grill, Tony Joe
Scott Band
Guntersville
Decatur
Decatur
Adrian’s, Wasted Mason
Saturday, March 25
801 Franklin, Jazzanova Duo
Square One
Benchwarmer, Live Music
Benchwarmer Too, Sister Luck
Hard Dock Café, Hotrod Otis
The Brick, Roosevelt Franklin
Guntersville
Panoply April 28-30, 2006
Haley Bodin, 3rd Grade, Central School
16
Hannah Williamson, 2nd Grade, Owens Cross Roads School
VOLUME 4, ISSUE 3
#030206032206
THE VALLEY PLANET
O ff T h e Deep E n d
By Debby Regan
By Debby Regan
By Debby Regan
Want what you want…
want what you want
where the fertile earth meets the
febrile sea
where my arms lie open in
abeyance,
waiting whitely for the wanting of
me.
Pledge what you pledge
Where the vows vie with
independency
Where sane wishes find means of
conveyance,
But now lie as a pearl in
dormancy.
Cappuccino
if I give you my love,
will you run with it?
like a barefoot monk in medieval
times
running with his cappuccino
to ring a church bell
spilling white-flecked foam on
velvet green
scalding tongue and mouth with
the heat of the beverage.
Bell Witch
Gnarled trees crowd closer
Blurring the rolling hills
Branches scrape a cheek
In her own domain
Tea Tree Oil
The Dark and the Shadows
The tree-branches obscured
What light the feeble sun could make
No chirping there from any bird
Broke the silence of the grave
A soft foot crushed the winter leaves
With flowers wilting in the hand
Though coming with the signs of
grief,
Unmistakable the frowning of the
man
Then a creature leaped upon him
Its teeth a torture to his arm
The graveyard’s setting sun grew dim
In contrast to the one’s alarm
Somehow he soon fell to earth
The wolf was blocking out the light
With all his strength, he merely
fainted
The darkness rushed in with the light
Quiet now, the wolf crept close
Lapping the bloody arm like a
vampire
The man gave warmth while the
wind froze
The wolf lay down beside him in the
mire
The phantom came before the dawn
It was she, her eyes pale as death
White skin shone where her dress
was torn
He heard only one word: rest
The man was numb in morning light
A wolf could not be seen
The chill remained from lingering
night
With dark and shadows on the green.
And all warmth of pulsation
Was for this man, claiming
Union with the sting of blood
The Macabre Evening
She remembers daughters
Not shared, not of this womb
(Wandered the house shrieking)
The lycanthrope lurked at the
mausoleum
His mayhem yet to be
Lupine lust to town unwonted
Loomed in proximity.
Bell cursed his only then
Words a fire-brand on her scalp
Diamond-eyes icy with hate
I am one with you
And she would crawl to Satan
If the sting of the frost
Would dissipate
And would be crowned
Queen of Hell
For one, John Bell
THE VALLEY PLANET
Tea tree oil
Can do nothing
Without hands
No oil or tea
Is gotten from trees
Except the tea tree
Massaged into feet,
This oil is sweet
Or mixed into tea
With slices of brie
And tea-cakes to eat
When the moon meets the sea
It brings with it a breeze
That moves the tea-trees
And flutters their leaves
Only then, does the tea-tree
Produce its oil.
Calling
all
Poets!
Bela Lugosi
What are little boys made of?
Big, green dragons
And morphine
I donned a cape and fame,
But I missed the old country…
Couldn’t get over it with a
corncob pipe
Mr. Wood was a nice fellow
Gave me something to do
And art to be made
If you would like to
submit your poetry
or prose please email
as an attachment to
jill@
valleyplanet.com
Enchantment
ByMark Barksdale
Love is serious.
Love is feeling.
Something I’ve been afraid of...
and I touched you.
I feel because of you!
untill you enchanted me
There is no option when love is
apparent.
with your eyes...
I feel again!
The rite in revelry undaunted,
Satanic gleams in his eyes
He was no friend of any man
The world, his enemy, to take by
surprise
Murder! Madness! This dippy
man
Believes himself a wolf.
#030206032206
VOLUME 4, ISSUE 3
17
THE HOTTEST LATIN DANCE EVENT OF THIS SPRING:
“SALSA PICANTE (Hot Sauce)!”
I
t’s time heat up the dance floor once
again with the hottest Latin Dance
Event of the Spring, “Salsa Picante
(Hot Sauce)”, presented by the Alabama
Hispanic Association (AHA).
“Salsa Picante” will be on Saturday,
March 4th starting at 8:00 pm at the
Seniors Center Auditorium on 2200
Drake Avenue in Huntsville. The
always-popular FREE Merengue and
Salsa group dance lesson will be given
from 8:00pm to 9:00pm. Music will
be provided by “DJ Tropical” (Mike
Anderson), with a eclectic selection
of the best salsa, merengue, cha cha,
rumba, cumbia, bachata, tango and
Latin ballroom. Admission is $8 per
person in advance and $10 per person at
the door. Advance tickets are available
at La Michoacana Grocery Store until
Friday, March 10th. La Michoacana is
located at 2007 University Drive in
Huntsville and they open daily from 9:
00 am to 10:00 pm. (256-532-0266).
Tickets are also available through
members of AHA. If you feel
like “Hot Salsa” dancing or
having a good time while
enjoying the company of great
people listening and dancing
to the hottest Latin music
in the Tennessee Valley, then
you don’t want to miss “Salsa
Picante” on Saturday, March 11th
starting at 8:00pm at the Seniors
Center Auditorium in Huntsville.
Everyone is encouraged to wear a
colorful shirt or dress.
The Alabama Hispanic Association,
founded in 1999, is a charitable,
non-profit, tax-exempt organization
committed to assisting the northern
Alabama
Hispanic
community
with information and resources for
education, medical guidance, legal
advice, translation, and assistance
with various social issues. AHA also
promotes Hispanic heritage awareness
through its social activities, which
bring together Hispanics and welcome
members of all other ethnic groups who
make up our community. As part of the
efforts to raise the funds needed to fulfill
its goals and mission, AHA hosts Latin
Dances throughout the year featuring
live bands and local Latin DJ’s. For
additional information on AHA, visit
our website at www.alabamahispanica
ssociation.org or contact our President,
Margaret Rotger, at 256-325-4242.
Calendar of Events
Through March 31
Exhibit: 381 Days “The Montgomery
Bus Boycott Story” is on loan from
the Smithsonian Institution Traveling
Exhibition Service. The exhibit
is located on the Alabama A&M
University, State Black Archives
Research Center, James Wilson
Building. For more information
contact 372-5846.
18
Through July 23
The Huntsville Museum of Art’s
“View of the Collection: Art Tells
a Story. The HMA is located on
Church St. For more information
contact the Museum at 535-4350.
Through April 9
Sea to Shining Sea: A Reflection of
America- The Huntsville Museum
of Art is proud to showcase the
work of outstanding realist and
impressionist painters who have
collaborated for two years to
Jackson Graves, 4th Grade, Holy Spirit
Jessie Brazier, 4th Grade, Lynn Fanning Elementary
create 94 paintings that celebrate
the grandeur and diversity of the
American landscape. On view will
be images inspired by the nation’s
majestic mountains and rugged coast,
its more subtle rural countryside
and even scenes from industrial and
urban sites.
Through March 17
Winterfest Junior is a Fine Arts
Exhibit & Competition, for young
artists in the Marshall County area
from ages 6-19. The winners of the
competition will be exhibited at the
Guntersville Museum & Cultural
Center.  For more details please
contact the Arts Council at 256-5821454 e-mail, artscouncil@mindsprin
g.com or visit www.mountainvalleyar
tscouncil.org.
March 2
“Human Destiny-Space or
Extinction” with Mr. Gregory H.
Allison speaker. Beginning at 7pm at
the Huntsville Public Library. Free
Admission.
VOLUME 4, ISSUE 3
March 2
West Coast Swing and Hustle dance
lessons held each Thursday at
Dublin Park in Madison. Lessons
begin at 6pm until 8:15pm. No preregistration required and cost is $5
per class. Contact Dave Roberts at
256-858-5841 for more info.
March 2
The Spellbinders presents Story
Night at Coffeetree, Books and Brew
on Bailey Cove Rd.  Tales told,
funny, true, historic and just good
stories beginning at 7pm.
March 3
The Huntsville Museum of Art’s Free
First Friday.
March 3
Mah Jong Players Society beginning
at 9:30am at Coffeetree Books and
Brew on Bailey Cove across from
Grissom High School. Ladies play
Mah Jong, have lunch and play some
more. Interested? Come, meet and
learn.
Continued Page 20
#030206032206
THE VALLEY PLANET
S P OT LIGHT O N MUS I C
Hard Rock
DR
O’s
H
C
R
A
AN
Rx for Old Stuff That Don’t Suck
We all love a bargain, and I have three for you. But even bargains
sometimes come with disclaimers.
Anytime anyone attempts a “definitive” compilation of the best of
a musical genre there will be questions about who and what was
included, and why. Ditto for the artists and songs that were left out.
Most people attribute this to the compiler being an idiot, and that’s
accurate in some cases evidenced here. More often than not, the
main reason some of the most obvious artists and songs are left out
of any given collection is that the rights to include them could not be
secured from certain record labels and artists.
Any attempt to define “Hard Rock” cannot possibly be complete
without the inclusion of any number of tracks by Led Zeppelin,
considered by many to be the father’s of the genre. Certainly, they
were part of the gang-bang that resulted in Hard Rock’s conception.
Conversely, one may look at the song lists below and rightfully ask,
“What the Elf? How did “Wild Thing” by the flippin’ Troggs get on the
disc?
Led Zep still sells their original material themselves. They can and
should hold out for the big bucks for the listeners to buy their
catalogue. The have no need or desire to grace anyone’s hits collection
but their own.
Frankly, your good Dr. A. is still quite ticked that Zep ruined “Rock &
Roll” when they sold out to Cadillac and allowed the song’s use in
cheesy commercials for their conspicuous consumption cars. Has
Jimmy Page shot his entire fortune up his arm? Did they need money
that badly?
On the other hand, The Troggs would be glad to be included on the “B”
side of a Barney record. They’ll take every royalty penny they can milk
from the few “hits” they had. One thing for sure, “Wild Thing” sucked
when it was new and has practiced sucking more over the years. Hard
Rock? I don’t think so: more like “Hard up.”
Nonetheless, you’ll be quite pleased with the gems you will find on
these three CDs, including the hard to find “House of the Rising Sun”
by Frijid Pink.
Frankly, I can skip the hair band “hardly rock” of the 80’s disc for the
most part, but I’m a curmudgeonly old fart.
The good news is that all three of the discs may be ordered used from
Amazon.com for $2.99, $1.75, and $1.59 respectively, plus three bucks
or so each for the S&H.
Dr. A’s Rx for Old Stuff That Don’t Suck is: Hard Rock Essentials: 1960’s /
1970’s / 1980’s by Various Artists.
Hard Rock Essentials: 1960’s
– Various Artists
1. Wild Thing - The Troggs
2. Don’t Bring Me Down - Eric Burdon
& The Animals
3. Summertime Blues - Blue Cheer
4. Ride My See Saw - The Moody
Blues
5. Soul Sacrifice - Santana
6. Something In The Air - Thunderclap
Newman
7. Hide Away - John Mayall & The
Bluesbreakers
8. 3/5 Of A Mile In 10 Seconds Jefferson Airplane
9. Whipping Post - The Allman
Brothers Band
THE VALLEY PLANET
10. Feelin’ Alright - Traffic
11. Fire - Crazy World Of Arthur
Brown
12. White Light/White Heat - The
Velvet Underground
Hard Rock Essentials: 1970’s Various Artists
1. All Right Now - Free
2. House Of The Rising Sun - Frijid
Pink
3. I Don’t Need No Doctor - Humble
Pie
4. The Story In Your Eyes - The
Moody Blues
5. Statesboro Blues - The Allman
Brothers Band
#030206032206
6. Easy Livin’ - Uriah Heep
7. (I Know) I’m Losing You - Rod
Stewart
8. Nutrocker - Emerson, Lake &
Palmer
9. Renegade - Styx
10. Do You Feel Like We Do - Peter
Frampton
11. Rock & Roll Stew - Traffic
12. Keith Don’t Go (Ode To The
Glimmer Twin) - Nils Lofgren
Hard Rock Essentials: 1980’s
Various Artists
1. No One Like You - Scorpions
2. Hold On Loosely - 38 Special
3. Snowblind - Styx
4. Knocking At Your Back Door - Deep
Purple
5. Tom Sawyer - Rush
6. Lick It Up - Kiss
7. Nobody’s Fool - Cinderella
8. Get It On - Kingdom Come
9. I Can’t Drive 55 - Sammy Hagar
10. Here I Go Again - Whitesnake
11. Burnin’ For You - Blue Oyster Cult
12. Third Time Lucky (First Time I
Was A Fool) - Foghat
[email protected]
VOLUME 4, ISSUE 3
19
Wa n n a B e t ?
By Steve Moulton
R
ecently The name Janet Jones
has been in the news for
gambling, she is also known as
Wayne Gretzky’s wife. According to
that news report, Jones allegedly bet
$100,000 on football games over the
course of the investigation. The report
said there was no evidence Gretzky bet
on games. According to The Arizona
Republic, citing two NHL officials with
knowledge of the investigation, Phoenix
Coyotes general manager Mike Barnett,
Gretzky’s former agent, bet on the
Super Bowl with Rick Tocchet. Jones
said that she never placed a wager on
behalf of her husband, and Gretzky said
he’s “done nothing wrong, nothing that
has to do with betting.”
When word came down about this story
I was appalled of sports talk host that
came down on her. I’ve been in this
business (sports talk radio) for over
a decade and I can tell you from first
hand experience that at least 80% of the
sports talk hosts that I know personally
have bet on games themselves. Some in
fact have a serious problem. Gambling
is always an issue that I’ve always
steered clear of mainly because I’ve
always felt and still do that if you’re
not gambling bill money you should
be ok. I just choose not to do it. Does
that make me better than you, no. I just
choose not to do it on a regular basis.
So, that brings us to March Madness. It
is the one time of year in which most
if not all Americans fill out a bracket
in an office pool or on ESPN.com
or wherever. I know, I’ll fill out one
bracket and make it my only bracket.
But I have known some to fill out three
to five to even ten brackets. The point
is that after coming down so hard on
Gretzky’s wife, it seems hypocritical
of us, less than two months later, to be
filling out brackets trying to finally beat
that secretary from accounting. It may
not be $100,000 on a game but the point
remains the same. We hold athletes to a
higher standard simply because we look
up to them as role models. But for once,
Charles Barkely is right, athletes are not
role models. Dealing with athletes, I am
disappointed about 99.99999999% of
the time, mainly due to their arrogance
and cockiness. Did the Great One bet?
Does Pete Rose disserve to be in the
Hall of Fame? I think the answer to
both is yes.
Here are some numbers to back me up.
According to a 1998 study by Harvard
Medical School and Boston Children’s
Hospital, published in the Journal of the
American Academy of Pediatrics:_ Over
three-quarters of all teens will have
gambled by their senior year in high
school. _ Just over half of adolescents
surveyed reported gambling within the
last year. I know that’s extreme but it
does play a factor. I think that a good
rule of thumb is don’t gamble bill
money. And if you are betting more
than three times a day you have a
problem. After all if Fred Flintstone can
get help then why can’t we?
Online gambling remains a legal gray
area, with most of the sites operating
outside the United States. States are
currently charged with regulating
gambling and laws vary widely. Sports
wagering is only legal in the state of
Nevada and to a limited degree in
Oregon. Nevada sports books handled
legal wagers totaling $2.3 billion in
2004. Illegal sports betting nationally
ranges from $80 billion to as much as
$380 billion each year, according to
estimates in the National Gambling
Impact Study Commission report.
The more I think about it, the more
I believe that without betting in the
sports community it would only be
about half the size of what it is today.
Steve Moulton hosts The Pressbox every
weekday afternoon from 3 to 5 p.m. on
ESPN 1400 in Decatur, Ala. You can email
him at [email protected].
March 3-5
The Longhorn Rodeo will be at
the VBC Arena beginning at 8pm
and 2pm on Sunday. Come enjoy
the bareback bronc riding, steer
wrestling, cowgirl barrel racing,
calf roping & bonus bull riding.
America’s best cowboys & cowgirls
will compete for prize money.
March 3
Monkey Speak is spoken word open
mic. Readers of poetry, short stories
and more are invited to participate.
Admission is $5 and will be at the
Flying Monkey Art Center in the
Lowe Mill on Seminole Dr. *For
Mature Audiences
March 3 & 4
UAH Theatre presents Tennessee
Williams’ classic, “The Glass
Menagerie” beginning at 7:30pm
with a 2pm matinee at the Chan
Auditorium in the administrative
Science Bldg off of Holmes Ave.
Tickets are $5 for students and $10
for adults
March 4-5
The Vagina Monologues at the Flying
Monkey Art Center in the Lowe Mill
20
on Seminole. Saturday show will
begin at 8pm and matinee on Sunday
at 2:30pm.
March 4
CZC TARDI GRAS DANCE
with Roux du Bayou at Knights of
Columbus Hall 3053 Leeman Ferry,
$10 members, $12 non-members,
8-11 pm, free dance lesson 7:15 pm.
There will be beginning Cajun Dance
Intensive workshop from 1:30-4:
30pm. Rebecca Zurn and Jim Pierce
will teach and review the basics of
the Cajun Waltz, Jig and Mamou
Jitterbug. Price for lessons is $15.
March 4
The Contra Dance will be held at
the gym of the Faith Presbyterian
church at the corner of Airport Rd.
and Whitesburg Dr. Live music by
Crosstown Traffic with calling by
Adina Gordon.  All ages welcome. 7:
00-7:30 pm Introductory Workshop,
7:30-10:30 pm Dance. Admission
$7.00/$4.00 students/Free for ages
12 & under. For More info call 8370656.
March 4
15th Annual Huntsville Museum of
Art Gala to be held at the VBC North
Hall beginning at 6pm. La Dolce
Vita in Tuscany, “An Evening of the
Good Life”, will be the theme for this
year’s Gala. The VBC North Hall
will be transformed into an Italian
countryside with music from the
Craig Duncan Orchestra. Call the
Museum for more info - 535-4350 
March 4
The Arts Council is searching for
participants ages 10 and up to
perform in Panoply Arts Festival’s
Homegrown Talent Contest.  A
select group of finalist from each
preliminary round will be chosen to
compete at the Official Homegrown
Talent Contest Final Round at
Panoply Arts Festival, Sunday, April
30th. Contact 256-519-ARTS for
more information.
March 5
Classical guitarist, Phil Weaver in
concert on the ground of the Burritt
Museum beginning at 3pm. Tickets
are $7.50 and are first come first
served at the door.
March 5
The Broadway Theatre League
presents Vicki Lawrence and Mama
in concert at the VBC Concert Hall.
For ticket information contact the
VBC ticket office.
VOLUME 4, ISSUE 3
#030206032206
March 5
The All American Boys Chorus,
“Salute to America and her Music,”
sponsored by the Decatur Concert
Assoc. and to be held at the Princess
Theatre. For time and ticket
information contact the Princess
Theatre in Decatur.
March 6
Huntsville Chess Club meets at
Coffeetree Books and Brew across
from Grissom on Bailey Cove. Open
to all ages, come and play, learn from
experts 6-10pm.
March 6
The Clay House Museum presents
the High Tea and Book signing by
Nancy Rohr. Incidents of the War
is Mrs. Mary Jane Chadick’s Civil
war journal begins the very day
Huntsville was invaded by 8,000
troops. The tea will begin at 1pm;
the cost is $15 each. Please call 256325-1018 for reservations.
March 8
North Alabama Woodcarvers
Association will be meeting at
If you have an event that you would
like for us to list, send information to
[email protected]
THE VALLEY PLANET
SINGLE & FABULOUS
In the Rocket City
By Fifi Boudeaux
Confessions of the Fabulous
“G
ood things come to those
who wait”, we’ve all heard
that at least once before.
Now as she confesses on the dance
floor, Madonna tells us that *“time
goes by so slowly for those who wait”,
and “those on the run seem to have all
the fun”. My, my, quite a paradox for
the single and fabulous. You see Dear
Reader, a coupon did not accompany
your birth certificate, redeemable within
a lifetime, good for one husband, 2.3
kids, house with a picket fence, station
wagon with wood on the side, and a
medium-sized dog. If that’s what you’re
waiting for, Father Time will be on his
deathbed before this wish is granted, if
ever. Not to be the Prophet of Doom,
but for some of us, it’s just not in our
DNA to have that life. If it were in your
DNA, you’d know it. Like those girls
you went to high school with who got
married in June after graduating in May.
You run into them at Wal-Mart light
years later and they tell you all about
their teenage kids, husband, house,
and dog, take one breath then look
at you and say “So, do you have any
kids?” Fifi’s recommended response
is “No, I’ve been so busy having a
fabulous life, I just plain forgot to have
children”. Incredulously, they often
EVENTS
Coffeetree Books and Brew every
Wednesday at 6:00pm. Come whittle
with us!
March 9
The Huntsville Havoc vs Knoxville
Ice Bears at the VBC Arena. The
puck drops at 7:05.
March 9
ROMEO’S dinner at the Coffeetree
Books and Brew across from
Grissom High at 6pm.
March 9
March 10-12
The Renaissance Theatre presents
About Bus Stop. The performances
will be held on the Alpha Stage of
the Theatre. The show begins at 8pm
and 5pm on Sunday. Tickets are $14.
Reservations are strongly advised
please contact 256-536-3117 for
THE VALLEY PLANET
offer a suggestion out of sympathy,
“You can always adopt”. What? You’ve
got to be kidding! Why, I never thought
of that! You mean I’ve walked the earth
all this time and that thought has never
presented itself. Oh how lucky am I
to have run into you right here in the
middle of the produce section in WalMart, to be privy to such wisdom!
Traditionally, the next damning question
follows “ Don’t you want a husband?”
To which Fifi’s honest answer is “I
really don’t know”. As you walk away,
leaving them clenching the grocery cart
handle, having an exorcism with head
spinning and spewing bile, in disbelief
that single people actually exist, and
most are happy, fulfilled, and that being
married is not their priority.
Just think, you belong to an elite group,
the single, the fabulous, the bling, and
you are in the company of the following
singles who had big lives and made
lasting impressions:
Mother Theresa
James Dean
Liberace (O.K. admittedly there’s some
reasoning behind this one)
Pope John Paul II
Batman
more information.
March 10-12
Theatre Huntsville presents “The
Shakespeare at the VBC Playhouse.
Play begins at 7:30pm and 2pm
matinee on Sunday. For ticket
information please call 536-0807.
March 10
The Barbarian Invasions will be
shown at 7pm at the Guntersville
Public Library. This foreign film
includes English subtitles. For more
information contact 256-571-7595.
March 11
BARF! Think Conan O’Brian meets
Bill Nye The Science Guy meets
Psycho TV. For Mature Audiences.
At the Flying Monkey Art Center
in the Lowe Mill on Seminole Dr.
Admission $5.
March 11
Democratic Party offers Victory
Training to candidates and campaign
staff/volunteers who are serious
about winning. To register, call 800995-3386 or 256-534-1776.
March 11-12
Burritt on the Mountain hosts the
Citizens of the Bonnie Blue from
10-4pm and 12-2pm on Sunday. The
#030206032206
Wonder Woman (who had no husband,
children or dog, but doesn’t an
invisible jet and bracelets that ward off
ammunition trump that???)
The world has enough married people,
you’re being counted on to do what
they can’t; go out when you want, buy
what you want, drink all you like, and
travel without sippee cups or baggies
of Cheerios-you are charged with great
responsibility in this life. Besides,
there’s all this farm commodity talk
CBB is a Civil War reenacting group
interpreting the everyday life ways of
the common Southern citizen during
the Civil War.
March 12-April 30
YAM 2006, Youth Art Month opens
at the Huntsville Museum of Art.
From 2-4pm Artist Demonstration
by Chuck Long, Linda Ruhl, Robert
Bean and S. Renee Prasil. As part of
the Museum’s Community Free Day
program, admission will be waived to
all visitors on opening day.
March 13
experts 6-10pm.
March 14
Burritt on the Mountain Volunteer
Coffee bring a friend and learn about
volunteer opportunities with Burritt.
Meeting begins at 10am.
March 15
with us!
VOLUME 4, ISSUE 3
involving relationships. Cows not
purchased because of free milk,
or disappointments following pig
acquisition yielding little sausage. So
before you contemplate buying the
marriage farm, go have fun, maybe
even shake it on the dance floor so
that you have something to confess
later…….
Look for Fifi’s next article on single
fabulousness, exclusively in The Valley
Planet. * From “Hung Up”, Confessions
on the Dance Floor, by Madonna.
March 16-18
The Renaissance Theatre presents
About Bus Stop. The performances
will be held on the Alpha Stage of
the Theatre. The show begins at
8pm. A special dinner Theatre will be
held on the 17th & 18th. Tickets for
the dinner theatre are $35. Tickets
are $14. Reservations are strongly
advised please contact 256-536-3117
for more information.
March 16
March 16-18
Theatre Huntsville presents “The
Shakespeare at the VBC Playhouse.
Play begins at 7:30pm and 2pm
matinee on Sunday. For ticket
information please call 536-0807.
Continued Page 22
21
“Sea Lions and Master
Plans”
...forcing
his cell
phone on
E
me...
arlier this month, I headed to the
Southern California coast for
a week of work and fun. I was
thrilled! First, I’d get to learn everything
about my new job, the weather would
be warm, and I’d put my independence
skills to the test by learning how to
navigate around an unfamiliar town.
EVENTS
March 16
Cajun and Zydeco Dance Classes
from 6:30-8:30 with Rebecca Zurn
and guest instructors to be held at the
Benchwarmer Too.
March 17
United Cerebral Palsy and Redstone
Federal Credit are please to announce
the
8th Annual Irish Evening at the Von
Braun Center North Hall. Festivities
begin at 6 p.m.; dinner will be served
at 7 p.m. entertainment will include
Celtic music by SligJig, the Nashville
Irish Step Dancers of Huntsville and
dance tunes by America’s Party Pro’s.
An Irish Evening is a sure sell-out
event each year, so call 256-8594900 now for your reservations.
March 18
The Contra Dance will be held at
the gym of the Faith Presbyterian
church at the corner of Airport Rd.
and Whitesburg Dr. Live music
by Kaleidoscope with calling by
George Snyder of Atlanta. All
ages’ welcome. 7:00-7:30 pm
Introductory Workshop, 7:30-10:30
pm Dance. Admission $7.00/$4.00
students/Free for ages 12 & under.
For More info call 837-0656.
March 19
The Huntsville Volunteers for
Americans for Fair taxation will hold
their monthly meeting at 2pm at the
Huntsville Public Library.
Free
Valley
Planet
Static
Clings!
22
March 19
A Silver Menagerie: The Betty
Grisham Collection of Buccellati
Silver Animals opens at the
Huntsville Museum of Art on Church
St.
March 20
experts 6-10pm.
March 23
March 22
with us!
March 20-24
Burritt on the Mountain will again
host NATURE RANGERS, its
series of educational programs for
5-10 year olds held during Spring
Break).  Each weekday, activities
will highlight a different aspect of
Alabama history and the environment
and our place in it.  Students can be
enrolled for individual days or for the
entire week, with programs running
from 9:00 a.m.-4:00 p.m. each day
and the cost is $30 per day. For more
info contact 256-536-2882.
March 23
Coffeetree Books and Brew hosts a
Fiction Writer’s Workshop beginning
at 7pm.
March 24
The Film Co-op and Flying Monkey
Art Center presents “Bubble” by
Steven Soderbergh. Film begins at
8pm and admission is $5. Held at
the Flying Monkey Arts Center in the
Lowe Mill on Seminole Dr.
During the weeks preceding the trip,
I planned every moment I possibly
could: time on the beach, visits with
friends who’ve transplanted there, and
sightseeing. I read articles, websites,
and viewed San Diego on Google Earth
a bazillion times. I am a creature of the
plan; having a plan takes away any
possibility of boredom; having a plan
means I won’t retreat to the solitude
of my rented hotel room. However,
throughout the week, a few things
happened. I thought they weren’t
anything until I returned home and
found they came with me.
Sea Lions
On the shores of La Jolla, pregnant sea
lions rest in an inlet while their unborn
babies finish preparing for their arrival.
These enormous creatures are covered
with sand as they hop and fight. But
mostly they lounge, sleep, and wait.
People flock to see this peculiar sight.
They stand on the cliffs and a walk-way
watching the moms-to-be wait. The
passersby point and gawk and hope
for something magical to happen. I
went twice to see the spectacle of the
sea lions and the two-legged audience
members, all anticipating something
big. The first time, it was a sunny
afternoon. The California sun was high
and the lady lions cared less about the
gawkers and pointers. They had much
more important business to tend to:
being pregnant. The second time I went
was the morning of my departure. The
skies were overcast, but still the sea
lions couldn’t care about me or any
other audience member. They would be
there regardless of who was watching
or what the skies were doing, as would
the audience.
about my plans. On day three, when I
went to pick up my rental car, the taxi
driver assured me that I’d get lost,
forcing his cell phone on me to make
sure I had someone to call, just in case.
He wasn’t impressed with my plans. He
was worried I’d get lost. The thought
hadn’t occurred to me. I picked up the
car, and headed out to follow my master
plan. But I didn’t. Instead, I picked
up a friend from the conference and
we strolled through the city. We went
browsing, not shopping. By the time we
returned to the hotel, the sun was about
to set. But I was too tired to schlep out
to the beach. I never made it to the zoo
– being told the Wild Animal Park was
much more interesting. Of all the plans
I made, none came to fruition.
I was at ease with this – not worried a
bit that I didn’t hit the sights I’d wanted
to see; couldn’t be bothered that I hadn’t
found the perfect pair of shoes to bring
home with me.
After I returned the routine of my life,
these two random experiences came
together in my mind. First, forget
the people who are standing around
watching you. Second, you can’t plan
everything. All we can do is trust our
instincts and be open to the possibilities
that life presents. And if you get lost
along the way, be sure to have back-up.
Whether that’s in the form of a cabbie or
a friend, they’ll help you find yourself if
you get lost.
Master Plans
During my trip, I was to be in class
for two-and-a-half days; I’d have
the evenings and the last two days to
myself. I attended kindergarten in San
Diego, decades ago. So even though
I’d been there, I had no memory of life
outside our home. This time, I was sure
I’d make many memories.
Allison Gregg is an eternal optimist who has never
had it so good. Email Allison at
[email protected].
First, I had to go to the zoo, it’s
world famous. I’d have dinner on the
beach, watching the sunset. Shopping
– shopping was a must. I was so excited
VOLUME 4, ISSUE 3
#030206032206
THE VALLEY PLANET
Anchored
Soul—Jazz/
Gospel Concert
A
rt Exhibit by Alabama A & M
Faculty and Students
UCP and Redstone Federal
Credit Union Present
An Irish
Evening
Performances of the concert are Friday,
March 31st through Saturday, April 1st at
7 p.m. with a matinee Sunday, April 2nd
at 3 p.m. Join us for dinner among the
artwork followed by music that will set
your soul at ease on Saturday, April 1st
at 5:45 p.m. (reservations required for
dinner). Renaissance Theatre is located
in historic Lincoln Mill Store Building
at 1214 Meridian Street in Huntsville,
Alabama next to Lincoln Elementary
School. More information, tickets, and
group information can be found at (256)
536-3117 or online at www.renaissanc
etheatre.net. Tickets for music only
performances are $20.00. The cost of
the dinner and concert is $35.00 and
will include the concert, the dinner, and
a complimentary glass of wine. Seating
is limited and reservations are highly
recommended for this unique concert
event.
By Randy Van Nostrand
By the time you read this, an important
issue that will greatly impact the course
of development in Madison County will
have been brought before the Madison
County Commissioners. The question is
to what length the Commissioners will
enforce Deed Restrictions and building
standards in Subdivisions built outside
of city limits. Poorly built structures
that do not conform to Neighborhood
Regulations, without proper building
permits and professionally licensed
inspections are a nuisance at best, and
will negatively impact property values.
Anchored Soul is a jazz and gospel
music concert presented by Renaissance
Theatre. The concert is filled with great
music in a relaxed atmosphere and
combined with an exhibit of artwork
from the faculty and students of
Alabama A & M University.
Anchored Soul features the musical
talents of award winning musician Dr.
Reginald Jackson and the vocal talents
of Jennifer Simmons and Elaine Tibbs
Rice. Decatur native Reginald Jackson
received his doctorate in music at
Florida State and has since traveled the
United Sates and abroad conducting
gospel music workshops, keyboarding
seminars, “as well winning souls for
the Kingdom through his music”. Dr.
Jackson combines certain elements of
contemporary jazz, blues, and gospel
to produce a sound that has stimulated
audiences nationwide. He now joins
with the talents of Tennessee Valley
vocalists Elaine Tibbs Rice and
Jennifer Simmons to bring that sound
to Huntsville.
Changing the Alabama Constitution May Be
the Only Sane Path to Future Growth
U
nited Cerebral Palsy and
Redstone Federal Credit Union
are pleased to announce that
the Eighth Annual Irish Evening will
take place on St. Patrick’s Day, Friday,
March 17, at the Von Braun Center
North Hall. Festivities begin at 6 p.m.;
dinner will be served at 7 p.m.
Guests will enjoy an expanded menu
of Irish cuisine and appetizers prepared
by the Von Braun Center’s Chef James
Johnson. The evening’s entertainment
will include Celtic music by SligJig,
the Nashville Irish Step Dancers
of Huntsville and dance tunes by
America’s Party Pro’s. John Malone
and Abby Kay from Lite 96.9 will serve
as masters of ceremony.
Live and silent auctions will feature
many outstanding vacation packages
including trips to Atlanta, Memphis and
New York; fine jewelry compliments of
Donny’s Diamond Gallery; authentic
Belleek china and Galway crystal from
Ireland; along with many items donated
by regional businesses.
Last year this festive event raised
$47,000 for children and adults with
disabilities in Huntsville and the
Tennessee Valley.  UCP, a 501(c)(3)
organization, operates a regional
therapeutic and educational center in
Huntsville for individuals in the North
Alabama area with cerebral palsy and
other physical disabilities.  While
affiliated with a national organization,
UCP centers are locally organized and
responsible for raising all funds to serve
local clients.
 
Redstone Federal Credit Union is
the event’s presenting sponsor.  Other
sponsors include Colonial Graphics
Group, Lockheed Martin Space
Systems, Teledyne Brown Engineering,
and Lite 96.9.
Alabama Code gives the County
Commissioners authorization to regulate
Subdivisions and levy fines to violators
of their guidelines. Those guidelines
are titled Subdivision Regulations,
Madison County Alabama and are
listed as effective August 1, 2005.
Section 2.3 of that document says, “It
shall be the duty of the County Engineer
to enforce the regulations and bring to
the attention of the Commission any
violations or lack of compliance with
these regulations.” Section 2.3.1 says
that Madison County may charge
inspection fees to be paid by the owners
of the property to be inspected. Section
2.3.2 gives the County authorization to
bring a civil action to forbid any action
of an owner of developer which is in
violation of the provisions of the Code
of Alabama and to recover penalties
for the violation of the provisions of
the Subdivision Regulations and the
Alabama Code.
This is a much bigger issue than a battle
between neighbors. It echoes all the
way back to the fight over the necessity
for a new Alabama Constitution, and the
restrictions the Constitution places on
Home Rule. These restrictions mean
that unlike most of the country, Alabama
requires its county governments to go
through the Legislature to pass basic
ordinances, such as for animal control,
littering and restricting junkyards.
That keeps localities from controlling
their own destiny, prohibiting us from
setting and enforcing Zoning Laws,
and inhibits smart growth plans by
eliminating local standards. For local
issues to be resolved, they must be
written in Montgomery as Amendments
to the Alabama Constitution and then
voted on locally. This is a costly and
time-consuming process that gives
special interest groups time to rally
advertisements against the issue. The
legislators have time to digest how
bills will affect them and their special
interest cronies and to write them in
confusing legalese. Then the bills are
not put before the voting public in a
manner they can understand, so many
people are unable to read anything
about the bill until they walk into the
voting booth. I believe this is why
Madison County voters have repeatedly
rejected establishment of Planning and
Zoning boards.
Rapid buildup of new subdivisions
means that Farm Roads never designed
for the increased traffic have become
unsafe. Drive almost anywhere in
Madison County and you will find many
stretches without proper shoulders.
Though I appreciate the effort of my
County Commissioner, Roger Jones
when he added 18” shoulders to several
dangerous roads near where I live, it
really is not adequate. I do understand
budget limitations but road building
guidelines say that properly built roads
will have a minimum three foot wide
shoulder.
A December 20, 2000 editorial in the
Huntsville Times said, “Huntsville
and Madison County have grown
much more than anyone would have
dreamed 50 years ago, but not always
well. We need a common vision of the
future, along with the strong leadership
and the proper tools for smart growth.
Alabamians need the taxing and
zoning powers that only true home rule
provides.”
Growth without planning is malignant
and threatening.
Changing the
Alabama Constitution may be the
only sane path to future growth.
Tickets may be purchased in advance
for $60 per person or $480 per table. 
An Irish Evening is a sure sell-out event
each year, so call 256-859-4900 now for
your reservations.   
THE VALLEY PLANET
#030206032206
VOLUME 4, ISSUE 3
23
LISTINGS
[email protected]
MAMA ANNIE’S
4550 Meridian Street N, 489-3275
801 FRANKLIN
801 Franklin Street, Huntsville (Downtown by
Medical Center), 256-519-8019. Lunch: M-F 11-2,
Dinner: M-W 5-10 pm & Th-Sa 5 pm-1 am. Lounge
opens 4 pm M-F. Full Bar & Extensive Wine List.
www.801franklin.com
BEAUREGARD’S (3 Huntsville locations)
1851 University Dr. , 256-512-0074
511 Jordan Lane, 256-837-2433
975 Airport Rd. SW, 256-880-2131
BENNIGAN’S
1009 Memorial Pkwy, Huntsville, 256-534-6141
www.bennigans.com
BISTRO LA LUNA
Covenant Cove Lodge & Marina, 7001 ValMonte Drive, Guntersville, 256-582-0930.
www.covenantcove.com
BONEFISH GRILL
4800 Whitesburg Dr. , 256-883-0643
BUFFALO WILD WINGS
2750 Carl T. Jones Dr.
256-650-4115
CHEF GREEN’S ON THE FOUNTAIN
Fountain Row
Huntsville, Al 35801
CHILI’S (2 Huntsville locations)
4925 University Drive, 256-722-9620
2740 Carl T. Jones, 256-882-1230
CRAWMAMMA’S
5000 Webb Villa, Guntersville, 256-582-0484
D&L BISTRO
7500 SW Memorial Pkwy, Huntsville,
256-881-7244, located in Main St. South
THE DOCKS
Goosepond Colony, 417 Ed Hembree, Scottsboro,
256-574-3071.
EDEN’S EAST
2413-B Jordan Lane, Huntsville, 256-721-9491
Vegetarian fare, M-Thu: 11am-6 pm; Fri: 11am-3pm
FURNITURE FACTORY BAR & GRILL
619 Meridian Street N, Huntsville (just north of
Downtown), 256-539-8001.
GREEN HILLS GRILLE
5100 Sanderson Street NW, Huntsville (corner of
Wynn and University), 256-837-8282.
HUMPHREY’S BAR & GRILL
109 Washington Street, Huntsville (Downtown,
corner of Washington and Clinton), 256-704-5555.
11 am – 2 am everyday.
www.downtownhuntsville.com
Live music almost every night – SEE CALENDAR
JAZZ FACTORY
109 North Side Square, Huntsville (Downtown on
the Square), 256-539-1919.
K C’s COYOTE CAFE
410 Old Town St., Guntersville, 256-582-1676
LE BISTRO DU SOLEIL
300 Franklin Street, Huntsville (Downtown on the
Square), 256-539-7777
LOGAN’S ROADHOUSE (2 Huntsville locations)
4249 Balmoral Drive, Huntsville, 256-881-0584
University Drive NW, Huntsvile
2315 Beltline SW, Decatur, 256-432-2746
MAIN STREET CAFE
101Main Street, Madison, 461-8096
THE PALATTE’ CAFÉ
Huntsville Museum of Art
300 Church St.
PAULI’S BAR & GRILL
7143-C Hwy 72 W, Huntsville (corner of Slaughter
Road & Hwy 72), 256-722-2080.
PAULI’S CHOPHOUSE
109 Washington Street, Huntsville (Downtown,
corner of Clinton and Washington), 256-704-5555.
M-Th 5 – 10 pm, F-Sat 5 – 11 pm, Sun 11 am – 2
pm. www.downtownhuntsville.com
PRINCETON’S CEDAR MILL GRILLE
1208 Beltline SW, Decatur, 256-351-6247
SILVER POINT RESTAURANT
7840 Hwy 72 Madison, 856-895-3343
STARFISH
Corner of Pratt & Russell, Huntsville, 256-327-5555
T-BIRDS CAFE
1792 Hwy. 72 East, Huntsville, 256-852-9191.
TGI FRIDAY’S
4935 University Drive NW, Huntsville
256-830-2793, www.tgifridays.com
TOP O’ THE RIVER
7004 Val-Monte, Guntersville, 256-582-4567
WILD FLOUR BISTRO
600 Jordan Lane NW, Huntsville (shopping center,
corner of Holmes and Jordan). 256-536-0939.
WINGS SPORTS GRILLE
4250 Balmoral Dr. SW, Huntsville, 256-881-8878.
www.wingssportsgrille.com
ALABAMA BREAD COMPANY
975 Airport Rd., Huntsville, 256-882-2010.
CAFE BABA
5000 Whitesburg, Huntsville, 256-519-2323.
CAFE DOMAIN
6585 Hwy 431 S, Ste. C, Huntsville, 256-882-6747
COFFEE CREATIONS
616 HWY 31, S ATHENS, AL 35611
COFFEE AND TEA COMPANY
Madison Square Mall University Dr.
Huntsville 256-837-7085
COFFEE TREE BOOKS & BREW, THE
7900 Bailey Cove Rd., Huntsville, 256-880-6464
HIGHLANDER COFFEE SHOPPE
Bob Wallace Ave
JAMO’S CAFÉ
413 Jordan Lane NW, Huntsville, 256-837-7880.
JAVA JAAY CAFE
1713 6th Ave. SE, Decatur, 256-351-8555.
KAFFEEKLATSCH
103 Jefferson Street, Huntsville, 256-536-7993.
KENNY MANGO’S COFFEE SHOP & GALLERY
119 N Side Square, Huntsville, 256-755-6559.
LAGNIAPPES COFFEE CAFE
119 East Moulton, Decatur
Coffee, Espresso, Bakery & Deli.
OLDE TOWNE COFFEE SHOPPE
511 Pratt Ave NE, Huntsville, 256-539-5399
SEATTLE SOUTH
2113 Whitesburg Drive S, Huntsville,(Whitesburg
Medical District), 256-534-0513
WEST SIDE COFFEE PLACE & CAFE
2699B Sandlin Rd., SW, Decatur, 256-353-2025
WILD ROSE CAFE
121 North Side Square, Huntsville, 256-539-3658
CAJUN CAFE
704 Hwy 231 Lacey’s Spring 256-650-5586
PO BOY FACTORY
815 Andrew Jackson Way, Huntsville (in Five
Points) 256-539-3616.
TIM’S CAJUN KITCHEN
114 Jordan Lane, Huntsville, 256-533-7589.
PAPOU’S
110 South Side Square, Huntsville, 256-534-5553
Greek Restaurant, Lunch & Dinner, Full Bar.
SAZIO
Corner of Pratt & Russell, Huntsville, 256-327-5555
Mediterranean Cuisine, Full Bar, Patio Dining
BELLACINO’S PIZZA & GRINDERS (3 locations)
4851 Whitesburg Dr, 256-880-8656
8572 Madison Blvd, Madison, 256-774-1918
11700 N So Memorial Pkwy, Huntsville, 256-6504648
BIG ED’S PIZZERIA
721 Clinton Avenue, Huntsville, 256-536-2872
CHEEBURGER, CHEEBURGER (3 locations)
5000 Whitesburg Dr., Huntsville, 256-885-3700
300 Hughes Rd, Madison, 256-464-9990
Providence Main, Huntsville
DUFFY’S DELI
2324 Whitesburg, Huntsville, 256-533-4179
McALLISTER’S DELI (2 Huntsville locations)
4800 Whitesburg Drive S, 256-880-1557 and
1480 Perimeter Pkwy, 256-425-0034. Appetizers,
Salads, Sandwiches, Spuds & Desserts. Kid’s Menu.
TONY’S ITALIAN DELI
119 James Madison Drive SW
Huntsville, 256-772-4448
SCHLOTZSKY’S DELI (2 Huntsville locations)
4319 University Drive NW, 256-830-6400
11120 Memorial Pkwy SW, 256-650-6300
8969 Hwy. 20, Madison, 256-464-5300
SOUL BURGER
2900 Triana Blvd. SW, Huntsville, 256-534-8585
STANLIEO’S SUB VILLA (2 Huntsville locations)
605 Jordan Lane, 256-837-7220
602 Governors Drive, 256-536-6585
TERRY’S PIZZA (3 Huntsville locations)
9034 Memorial Pkwy S, 256-881-5987
3612 Governors Dr, 256-536-3389 and
2514 Memorial Pkwy N, 256-539-3467
BB PERRINS
608 Holly St, NE, Decatur, 256-355-0980
CLEM’S BBQ & FISHERY
3700 Blue Spring Road NW
DREAMLAND
3855 University Dr., Huntsville 256-539-7427
GIBSON BARBECUE (3 Huntsville locations)
3319 Memorial Pkwy., Huntsville, 256-881-4851
8412 Whitesburg Drive, Huntsville, 256-882-0841
735 Hwy 72 E, Huntsville, 256-852-9882
1715 6th Ave., SE, Decatur, 256-350-6969
MERIDIANVILLE BAR-B-QUE
11537 Hwy. 231N., Meridianville, 256-828-3725
OLE HICKORY PIT BBQ
5061 Maysville Road
New Market, 256-859-2824
Smokey’s Barbeque
8073 Hwy 72, W, Madison
256-721-0300
Thomas Pit BBQ
Hwy 72 ,W, Madison
256-837-4900
BLUE PLATE CAFE
3210 Governors Drive, Huntsville, 256-533-8808
ERNEY’S
1605 Pulaski Pike NW
Huntsville, (256) 533-5734
G’S COUNTRY KITCHEN
2501 Oakwood Dr., Huntsville, 256-533-3034
MULLIN’S
607 Andrew Jackson, Huntsville, 256-539-2826
ROLO’S CAFE
505 Airport Rd., Huntsville, 256-883-7656
BANDITO BURRITO (2 locations)
3017 Governors Dr SW, Huntsville, 256-534-0866
208 Main St., Madison, 256-461-8999
CASA BLANCA MEXICAN RESTAURANT
(4 locations)
7830 Hwy 72 W, Ste 230, Madison 256-864-0360
140 Browns Ferry Rd, Madison 256-464-6044
7900 Bailey Cove Rd, Huntsville 256-883-4447
1802 Hwy 72 E, Ste D, Athens 256-771-0130
EL MARIACHI (3 locations)
14450 Hwy 231/431 N Hazel Green, 256-828-1466
1836 Winchester Road, Huntsville 256-851-7255
7193 Hwy 72 W, Madison, 256-890-0900
EL PALACIO
2008 Memorial Pkwy SW, Huntsville 256-539-6075
GARIBALDI’S
2107 Old Blue Spring Rd. Hsv 256-851-7394
GUADALAJARA MEXICAN RESTAURANTS
11208 Memorial Pkwy S, Huntsville
256-882-7311 &
8572 Madison Blvd, 256-774-1401
LA ALAMEDA
3807 University Drive NW
LITTLE ROSIE’S TAQUERIA
4781 Whitesburg Dr S, Huntsville, 256-882-0014
PEPITO’S
3508 Mem. Pkwy. S, Hsv
256-858-0059
QDOBA MEXICAN GRILL
4800 Whitesburg Drive, Huntsville 256-489-1367
ROSIE’S MEXICAN CANTINA
(2 Huntsville locations)
6125 University Drive, 256-922-1001
7540 S. Memorial Pkwy, 256-382-3232
Continued On Page 25
24
VOLUME 4, ISSUE 3
#030206032206
THE VALLEY PLANET
LISTINGS
CARRABAS
Parkway Place Mall
ITALIAN PIE
5000 Whitesburg Dr, Huntsville, 256-883-9112
LA STRADA
12824 Hwy 431, Guntersville. European cuisine.
256-582-2250. www.lastradabama.com
LUCIANO
964 Airport Road SW, Huntsville, 256-885-0505
RICATONI’S ITALIAN GRILL
107 N. Court St., Florence, 256-718-1002
ROMANO’S MACARONI GRILL
5901 University Drive, Huntsville, 256-722-4770
TELLINI’S CAFE & GRILL
4855 Whitesburg Dr. Hsv
256-881-9155
EDO JAPANESE RESTAURANT
104 N. Intercom Drive, Madison, 256-772-0360
MIKATO JAPANESE STEAK HOUSE & LOUNGE
4061 Independence Dr. NW, Huntsville, (one block
N. of University on Jordan Ln.), 256-830-1700.
MIKAWA RESTAURANT
1010 Heathland Dr, Huntsville, 256-837-7440.
MIWON JAPANESE RESTAURANT
404 Jordan Lane NW
MIYAKO
10013 South Parkway
256-880-9879
NIKKO JAPANESE RESTAURANT
6565 Hwy. 431, Hampton Cove, 256-536-3690
SHO GUN JAPANESE STEAK & SUSHI BAR
3991 University Drive, Huntsville, 256-534-3000.
TOKYO JAPANESE STEAK HOUSE & SUSHI BAR
1105 Wayne Road, Huntsville, 256-217-1719
MAMA FU’S ASIAN HOUSE
6920 University Dr. Huntsville, 256-830-4433
SURIN OF THAILAND
975 Airport Rd SW, Huntsville, 256-213-9866
THAI GARDEN RESTAURANT
800 Wellman Ave. NE, Huntsville, 256-534-0122
CHINA MOON
11700 S Memorial Pkwy, Huntsville, 256-880-2626
DING HOW II
4800 Whitesburg Dr., Huntsville, 256-880-8883
JADE PALACE
4925 University Drive NW, Huntsville,
256-830-2458
TAI PAN PALACE
2012 Mem. Pkwy, S, Hsv
256-539-5797
DEUTSCHE KUCHE
418 Jordan Lane, Huntsville, 256-534-4807.
Authentic
HILDEGARD’S
2357 Whitesburg Dr., Hsv
256-512-9776
OL HEIDELBERG CAFÉ
6125 University Drive NW E14, Huntsville,
(shopping center next to Rosie’s), 256-992-0556.
TASTE OF D’ISLANDS
2105 Mastin Lake Road, Huntsville, 256-851-9262.
CASA MONTEGO INTERNATIONAL LOUNGE
2117 Jonathan Drive, Huntsville, 256-858-9187.
2ND STREET MUSIC HALL
208 2nd Street, Gadsden 256-547-0010
3RD BASE GRILL
7904 Memorial Pkwy S, Huntsville, 256-882-9500.
ADRIAN’S
1405 Sunset Drive, Guntersville, 256-582-3106
ALLEN’S GRILLE & GROG
9076 Madison Blvd, Madison, 256-772-8514.
THE BARN
2510 Ready Section Road, corner of Pulaski Pike,
Toney
THE VALLEY PLANET
BENCHWARMER FOOD & SPIRITS
2998 University Drive, Huntsville 256-539-6268.
www.benchwarmersportsbar.com.
BENCHWARMER, TOO!
BILLIARD STREET CAFE
BLACK WATER HATTIE’S
10000 S. Memorial Pkwy. 256-489-3333.
BLUE PARROT MARTINI & CIGAR LOUNGE
7001 Val-Monte Drive, Covenant Cove Resort,
Guntersville, 256-582-0930.
www.covenantcove.com/parrot.htm
BOBBY G’S PLACE
1009 Henderson Road, 256-837-4728
BRICK DELI & TAVERN, THE
209-A 2nd Ave. SE, Decatur
256-355-8318.
CHARLOTTE’S PLACE
1117 Jordan Ln.
CHIPS & SALSA CANTINA
10300 Bailey Cove Rd SE Huntsville, 256-880-1202.
CLUB MIRAGE
4701 Meridian Street, Huntsville, 256-851-2920.
COPPER TOP BAR & GRILL
200 Q Oakwood Ave., Huntsville, 256-536-1150
Formerly Zesto’s in Five Points. Appetizers,
sandwiches & more. Karaoke & Live Music
CORNER GRILL & PUB, THE
(2 Huntsville locations)
10300 Bailey Cove Road SE, 256-880-2103.
129-A Old Highway 431,Hampton Cove
CROSSROADS, THE
721 Clinton Ave, Huntsville, 256-533-3393. Live
Music 7 nights. www.crossroadsmusic.biz
END ZONE, THE
FINNEGAN’S PUB
3310 Memorial Pkwy S, Huntsville, 256-881-9732
FREDDY’S
4070 Mem. Pkwy South Huntsville 35802
256-880-2590
Corner of Golf Rd. & The Paekway
New Restaurant with a New Attitude!
FURNITURE FACTORY BAR & GRILL
619 Meridian Street N, Huntsville (just north of
Downtown), 256-539-8001.
HARD DOCK CAFE
3755 U.S. Hwy. 31, Decatur, 256-340-9234
HALF TIME BAR AND GRILL
8873 Highway 72 W, Madison, 256-430-0266
HOG WILD SALOON
2407 Memorial Pkwy, Huntsville, 256-533-7446
HOOTERS
HOPPER’S
Holiday Inn-Research Park, 5903 University Drive,
256-830-0600
HUMPHREY’S BAR & GRILL
109 Washington Square, Huntsville, 256-704-5555.
Beef, seafood, sandwiches. Come for the food
– Stay for the Fun. Best Patio in Huntsville. Happy
Hour every day 11 am – 6 pm. Live music every
night, no cover. Open 11 am – 2 am everyday.
INSOMNIA
6402 Hwy 72, W
JEMISON’S EATERY & PUB
350-A Market St. NE, Decatur, 256-351-0300.
JUDGE CRATER’S PUB & GRILL
110 Southside Square, Huntsville 256-534-6116
KAFFEEKLATSCH @NIGHT
Live Music nightly.
THE MAIN OFFICE
Hwy 231/431, Hazel Green, 256-829-9100
MARTINI’S OF MADISON
Ramada Inn, 8716 Madison Blvd, Madison,
256-772-0701.
MOODY MONDAYS
718 Church St, Huntsville, 256-533-4005
NIKKO JAPANESE RESTAURANT
6565 Hwy. 431, Hampton Cove, 256-536-3690
OTTER’S
Marriott Hotel, 5 Tranquility Base, Huntsville
256-830-2222.
PEANUT FACTORY BAR & GRILL
903 Memorial Pkwy NW, Huntsville, 256-534-7092.
#030206032206
PHILBY’S POURHOUSE
PINHOOK CREEK YACHT CLUB
2704 Johnson Road, Huntsville, 256-880-3714.
ROSEBERRY PUB & GRILL
Hwy 67 Scottsboro
256-574-4231
RUGGBY’S
SAMMY’S LIVE
2322 Memorial Parkway, S
SAMMY T’S MUSIC HALL
116 Washington Street, 256-539-9974.
www.sammytsplace.com
SANDY’S ROADHOUSE
12740 Hwy. 431 S, Guntersville, 256-571-0450.
THE SHACK
105 Swancott Road, Triana 256-461-0227. The bar
that never closes!
SPORTS PAGE LOUNGE & DELI
9009 Memorial Pkwy S, Huntsville, 256-880-9471.
THE STATION
8694 Madison Blvd., Madison, 256-325-1333.
STEVE’S BILLIARDS & LOUNGE
2322 Memorial Pkwy, Huntsville, 256-539-8919.
TABU & THE VIP ROOM
7200 Governors West, Huntsville, 256-830-1233.
www.theentertainmentcomplexhsv.com
TWILIGHT ZONE
2140 Gunter Ave. in the Holiday Inn,Guntersville,
256-582-2220
UPSCALE
2021 Golf Rd, Huntsville, 256-881-8820
www.clubupscale.com
VISIONS
6404 University Dr. NW, Huntsville, 256-722-8247
WINGS SPORTS GRILLE
4250 Balmoral Dr. SW, Huntsville, 256-881-8878.
www.wingssportsgrille.com
5 POINTS GALLERY
401 Pratt Ave. NE, 256-539-9658
801 FRANKLIN
801 Franklin Street, Huntsville, (Downtown by
Medical Center), 256-519-8019. Dine with fine art.
www.801franklin.com.
ATHENS ST. STUDENT UNION ART GALLERY
300 N. Beaty St., Athens, Athens State University,
800-522-0272
ARTISTIC IMAGES
2115 Whitesburg Drive, Huntsville, 256-534-3968.
www.artisticimagesgallery.com
CAROLE FORET FINE ART
206 West Market St., Downtown Square, Athens
256-232-2521. www.caroleforet.com
DRAGONFLY GALLERY & DESIGN
125 Main Ave. S., Fayetteville, TN, 931-433-3024
HUNTSVILLE ART LEAGUE GALLERY
3005 L&N Drive, Suite 2, Huntsville, 256-534-3860.
Monday-Saturday 10 am - 6 pm; Sunday 1-4 pm.
www.huntsvilleartleague.org.
HUNTSVILLE MUSEUM OF ART
300 Church Street So. in Big Spring International
Park, Huntsville. Gen. admission fee is $7 for nonmembers. Discounts for seniors over 60, military,
students with a valid ID, and groups of 10 or more.
Admission is half-price for non-members on Thurs
nights. Members & children <6 free. Hours 1-5pm.
Sunday; 10am-5pm. Mon-Sat; extended hours on
Th 5-8 pm. Call 256-535-4350 or
1-800-786-9095, or visit www.hsvmuseum.org.
LADAGE ARTISTRY
321 S. Jefferson, Athens,256-216-0039.
http://ladage.dews.net.
MERIDIAN ARTS (2 locations)
305-A Jefferson Street, Huntsville, 256-534-7475.
M-F: 10 am – 6 pm, Sat: 10 am – 4pm; and
370 Little Cove Road, Gurley, AL, 256-7764300. Tu-F: 10 am – 6 pm, Sat: 10 am – 4 pm.
www.Meridianarts.net.
MONDO DE TATUAGE GALLERY
Corner of 6th Ave. and 7th St., Decatur
256-306-9099.
MVAC FINE ARTS GALLERY
300 Gunter Ave.,Guntersville, 256-582-1454.
Hours: Mon-Fri 9-4, Sat 10-3.
http://mountainvalleyartscouncil.org
SIGNATURE GALLERY
2364 Whitesburg Drive S, Huntsville,
256-536-1960.
TWO FEATHERS NATIVE AMERICAN GALLERY
7529-A S. Memorial Pkwy, Huntsville, 256-8820078.
VOLUME 4, ISSUE 3
25
Chuck Shepherd, photo Bob
Baggett Photography
A February report on mine safety
regulation by USA Today found that
complicated
federal
statutes
and
unvigorous Mine Safety and Health
Administration
enforcement
have
resulted in a structure of civil fines
almost guaranteed not to deter dangerous
conditions. The largest-ever MSHA fine
(for a 2001 incident with 13 deaths) was
$605,400 (as compared to, for example,
the FCC’s 2004 fine of CBS for the brief
image of Janet Jackson’s breast at the
Super Bowl, which was $3.5 million).
One attorney who represents coal
companies claimed that fines are largely
irrelevant to safety: “I really don’t think
any responsible mine operator makes
any decision about safety based on civil
penalties.” [USA Today, 2-10-06]
Compelling Explanations
American Pride: In January, spokesman
Nick Inskip of the trade association of
Australia’s legalized brothels and strip
clubs praised the American sailors who
that week began several days’ shore leave
in Brisbane. “(T)he fellows are fantastic
customers,” he said. “They are so wellmannered. ... They’re very aware that
they’re representing their country, and
that’s why they behave so well.”
More Things to Blame on Bush: (1) Two
gunmen robbed a 57-year-old woman in
her Westerville, Ohio, home in February,
but, according to a police report, argued
among themselves about how to do
the job, until one of the men, perhaps
feeling sorry for himself, said, “This is all
George W. Bush’s fault. He screwed up
the economy.” All the two men needed,
he said, was “gas money for the car.”
(2) A 29-year-old man was convicted in
February after he jumped over a fence at
the White House to meet up with Chelsea
Clinton. According to an officer, the man
seemed unfazed at being told that the
Clintons no longer lived there but did say
that “George Bush told me to jump the
fence, and I jumped the fence.”
After the secretary for the Miracle of
Prayer Church in Grove Hill, Ala., was
arrested in January on an outstanding
warrant, the church’s Prophet Ron
Williams called congregation members
(most of whom are African-American) to
the Clarke County jail to protest, vowing
that he wasn’t going “no damn where”
until she was released. As the crowd
grew, and deputies warned Williams
about inciting a riot, Williams became
more defiant, screaming at deputies and
pointing to his cell phone, yelling, “I
got Johnnie Cochran on the phone right
now!” (even though Cochran had passed
away 10 months earlier).
The Litigious Society
After two boys at PS 14 in New York City
taunted a 5-year-old classmate in January
three times by grabbing his privates,
school officials held a hearing and
referred the boys for guidance counseling.
Unsatisfied, the younger boy’s parents
in February filed a lawsuit against the
26
already-budget-challenged New
City school system for $6 million.
York
Massachusetts inmate Joseph Schmitt,
41, filed a lawsuit for $70,000 against the
Department of Corrections in December
for restricting his ability to continue his
writing career from lockup. Schmitt,
now in civil detainment (as exceptionally
dangerous) following completion of his
sentence for child rape, previously earned
up to $20,000 a year writing pornography
(including at least one piece on child sex)
and sees no reason why he can’t return to
that line of work.
Ironies
Jacqueline Dotson was seriously injured
in an accident near Winchester, Ky.,
in February that police say happened
when she lost control of her SUV and
ran several other cars off the road before
overcorrecting, which caused the SUV
to roll over a guardrail and land upside
down. A rescue crew labored an hour and
a half with the “jaws of life” to extricate
her from the vehicle, but one of her arms
was already free, severed in the accident
and lying on the road, still grasping a cell
phone.
Awesome!
In December, more than a month before
“buckshot” would be all over the news
(from a misadventure at a Texas ranch),
the New England Journal of Medicine
reported the odd case of a 73-year-old
Inuit woman hospitalized in Nome,
Alaska, whose abdominal X-ray revealed
an enlarged and photographically opaque
appendix, which doctors concluded was
an appendix filled with buckshot. The
Inuits, doctors said, eat so many ducks and
geese downed by buckshot that inevitably
some buckshot remains in the cooked
meat and is eaten and digested, with some
migrating to the appendix, where it is
trapped. The appendix was enlarged and
opaque on the X-ray simply because it
was overstuffed with buckshot.
Smooth Reactions
(1) In Japan’s Wakayama prefecture
in December, Miichiro Yamashita,
70, received a suspended sentence for
bringing 25 sticks of dynamite to a
hospital and threatening to blow the place
up unless his doctor changed his mind and
gave him the treatment he wanted for his
stomachache. (2) Two women are at large
in the Kenner, La., area after one slashed
a Rally’s restaurant manager in February
with a razor blade because her requested
substitution (mayonnaise for tartar sauce
on her fish sandwich) was not honored.
(3) In February, Kimberly Dasilva, 40,
was charged in Boston with putting
explosives into condoms and mailing
them to people she believes are associated
with her longstanding mistreatment by
men, including two strip clubs where she
used to work.
Stewart Jenkins, 33, was arrested in Des
Moines, Iowa, in November for allegedly
pulling a gun on a man he apparently
thought was disrespecting him. According
to the police report, Jenkins and Patrick
Hickey passed each other in an alley,
and Jenkins asked, “What’s up?” Hickey
responded: “What’s up?” Jenkins asked
again: “What’s up?” Hickey (again):
“What’s up?” Jenkins: “I’ll show you
what’s up!” He ran into a nearby house
and emerged angrily with a .38-caliber
handgun. (Unfortunately for him, Patrick
Hickey is a plainclothes police officer. He
arrested Jenkins and recovered about 15
grams of suspected crack cocaine from
the house.)
Least Competent Criminals
Not Cut Out for a Life of Crime: (1)
University of Colorado freshman
Jonathan Baldino, caught by security
personnel in November after he printed
out a fake bar code, stuck it on a $149.99
iPod, and bought it for $4.99 at a Target
store, immediately wrote a frenzied
confession: “I will NEVER EVER DO
THIS EVER AGAIN, and I am once more
terribly sorry. I’m only a kid! Help me
out! ... Please! Please! Please!” (It didn’t
help.) (2) After Seattle police chased a
carjacking suspect into a tree in February,
bystanders gathered around and laughed,
but the suspect, still defiant, yelled
at them, “It’s not funny!” (However,
according to a KIRO-TV reporter, some
in the crowd yelled back, “Yes it is!”)
Recent Alarming Headlines
(1) “Australian Whale Vomit Find Worth
a Fortune” (an Agence France-Presse
dispatch from Sydney on a vacationing
family’s discovery of a solid fatty
substance somehow actually used in
the fragrance industry and which was
expected to bring the equivalent of about
US$215,000) (January). (2) “Why I Still
Breastfeed My Eight-Year-Old Girl” (a
News & Star of Carlisle, England, report
on mothers who insist on breastfeeding as
long as the child desires it) (February).
Undignified Deaths
A 23-year-old man fell to his death off a
balcony during a spitting contest with his
brother and a friend (Mount Prospect, Ill.,
November). A 21-year-old man was shot
to death inside a stranger’s home at 1:
45 a.m., perhaps after having missed the
bumper sticker on the homeowner’s truck,
reading, “Gun control means using both
hands.” (Rochester, N.H., September).
A 37-year-old man escaped a fire in his
home but died of smoke inhalation after
he decided to go back inside to look for
his cell phone to call 911 (Greenville,
S.C., December).
Obsessed executives have always taken
business home at night, but increasingly
they take it into the bathroom, with laptop
computers, high-speed connections, flatpanel televisions and speaker phones,
according to a February Wall Street
Journal report. (Said one, “I’m beside
myself when I can’t get my e-mails.”)
However, there are problems, e.g.,
“sound-chamber” sound (the hollow
voice created by typical bathroom
acoustics usually gives away one’s
location) and the “BlackBerry dunk”
(with one Houston repair shop saying it
gets a half-dozen jobs a day of portable
devices accidentally dropped into the sink
or tub, “or worse”).
Government in Action
In January, a police SWAT officer in
Fairfax, Va., accidentally shot and killed
an unarmed optometrist on whom the
swarming team was serving an arrest
VOLUME 4, ISSUE 3
#030206032206
warrant for suspicion of gambling. (In
April 2005, a SWAT team arrested 24
community poker players in Palmer
Lake, Colo., but at least there were no
casualties. In October 1998, a passive
but startled security guard was killed by
a SWAT team moving in on a club in
Virginia Beach, Va., suspected of housing
gambling.)
Tough Love: (1) Australia’s AttorneyGeneral, Philip Ruddock, announced in
December that terrorist suspects being
held under house arrest would routinely
be sent to anger management classes, to
help them address their alienation. (2)
In December, a 75-unit apartment house
opened in Seattle, funded by grants from
the local, state and federal governments,
as free housing for what the city considers
its most incorrigible drunks, on the theory
that keeping an eye on them would be less
costly than leaving them free to cause
mischief and overuse emergency rooms.
The Times of London reported in January
that according to recently released
government files from the 1980s,
the administration of Prime Minister
Thatcher appeared seriously concerned
that poachers posed a threat to the Loch
Ness monster (if and when it revealed
itself). (Also in those files, as reported in
News of the Weird in 2004, was a letter
from Swedish officials seeking advice
from the Nessie-experienced British on
protecting Sweden’s own underwater
Lake Storsjo monster.)
At Fort Polk, La., the Pentagon has
created elaborate, Hollywood-like sets
of buildings and homes but representing
village scenes in Iraq and Afghanistan
under realistic conditions of war, to
train soldiers preparing for deployment.
Among the fine details (according to
a January Harper’s magazine report):
hiring amputees and using fake blood
to simulate horrific injuries; piping in
the scent of vomit and other emblems
of battlefield chaos; bringing in U.S.residing Iraqi natives to heckle soldiers
in Arabic; conducting press briefings
before hostile reporters; and at one
venue, fighting in modern city blocks of
buildings, presumably for guerilla wars
of the future.
Tax Bureaucrats Gone Wild!
(1) In December, a self-employed market
analyst in Chimacum, Wash., requested
from the IRS a copy of the 2003 Form
1040 and instructions, so he could
revise an old tax return, and three weeks
later received instead two shipments
totaling 48,000 copies of 2005 Form
1040 and instructions. (2) Tax officials
in Valparaiso, Ind., admitted in February
that they mistakenly valued one house
at $400 million (though its previous
assessment was $121,900), and even
though they recomputed the owner’s bill,
they failed to erase from the city budget
the $8 million in tax revenue they were
expecting from the property, including $3
million that they had already disbursed.
Send your Weird News to Chuck Shepherd
P.O. Box 18737, Tampa FL 33679
or [email protected]
or go to www.NewsoftheWeird.com.)
COPYRIGHT 2004 CHUCK SHEPHERD
DISTRIBUTED BY
UNIVERSAL PRESS SYNDICATE
4520 Main St., Kansas City, Mo. 64111;
(816) 932-6600
THE VALLEY PLANET
The Valley Planet Music Exchange is FREE to any individual looking to buy, sell, trade or find bandmates. You get a headline and 3 lines of text for the low, low price of
nothing. If you wish to embellish your ad further, say, with a small photo (add $5) or more words (add $1 per line), it’s up to you. Now, if you are a business, you gotta
pay a little something, $12 per column inch. Please call Jill Wood at (256) 533-4613 if you would like to put your business in the Exchange. Email your ads to classifieds
@valleyplanet.com or send them by snail mail to Music Exchange,203 Grove Ave. Huntsville AL, 35801. NO AD WILL RUN UNTIL PAYMENT HAS BEEN RECEIVED!
MUSIC EXCHANGE
Wanted, exp. lead guitarist
Call George @ 337-9856
Professional Drummer
Versatile Styles
Chris @ 227-6490
Torin Asunder
Death Metal Band
Jay @ 783-3176
Wanted, members for a
Christian Band
Contact 256-716-3731 or
[email protected]
CLASSICAL GUITAR
AND LUTE New to
Huntsville; exp teacher/
performer
Michael Poulos, BM, MM
539.6838
DRUMMER
Looking to start or join open
minded musicians to play
prog. Alt-rock 232-7505 &
[email protected]
Wanted, free ads to put here,
send to
[email protected]
Guitarist
Looking For A Band Classic
Rock From A-Z
New Music Too
call Mike@603-7937 or
Leave Message@776-9749
For sale
Audio-Technica Headset
Mic, Model ATM 75-$125,
881-0755
1983 Tama Imperialstar
drumkit Contact Adam
Jackson @ 256-233-2118/
431-5130
[email protected]
WANTED: Upright bass
player for Rockabilly Trio. I
have the bass if you can play
it. Slapping a must. We already have gigs waiting. Call
Matt @ 256-566-6330.
Bassist & drummer for
accoustic/electric band
Rod @ 759-1919
LISTINGS
Billy Joe Cooley
Call Now:
(256) 534-8888
Email:
[email protected]
America’s Storyteller Dates Available for
Banquet Speaker, Humorist Church Groups, Civic Clubs
Billy Joe Cooley, 115 W. Clinton Ave., Suite 405, Huntsville, AL 35801
providing arts and cultural activities to Jackson
County and Northeast Alabama.
VON BRAUN CENTER
700 Monroe St. Huntsville, 256-533-1953. Check
calendar for events. www.vonbrauncenter.com
HARMONY PARK SAFARI
431 Clouds Cove Road, New Hope. 1-8777ANIMAL. Drive through animal exhibits. Open
March through November.
THE WEEDEN HOUSE
300 Gates Avenue SE, Huntsville, 256-536-7718
HARRISON BROTHERS HARDWARE
UNIVERSITY CENTER ART GALLERY
University of Alabama in Huntsville, 256-824-1000
UPTOWN GALLERY
1220 South Memorial Parkway, Huntsville 256880-2044. www.uptowngallery.com
WHITNEY DAVIDSON GALLERY
501 Church Street NW, Huntsville, 256-539-0063
WILLIS GRAY GALLERY
211 B Second Ave. SE, Decatur, 256-355-7616
ALABAMA CONSTITUTION VILLAGE
109 Gates Ave., Huntsville, 256-564-8100. Open
daily, 9 am - 5 pm, except Sundays.
AMERICAN INDIAN MUSEUM
2003 Poole Drive NW, Huntsville, 256-852-4524.
www.american-indian-museum.com
BURRITT ON THE MOUNTAIN:
A LIVING MUSEUM
3101 Burritt Drive SE, Huntsville, 256-536-2882.
Summer Hours (April - Oct): Tues- Sat 9am to 5pm
Sun noon to 5 pm. Regular Adm. fee is $5 adult,
$4 senior, military & students, $3 child (children
under 2, free). www.burrittmuseum.com
CATHEDRAL CAVERNS STATE PARK
637 Cave Road, Woodville. 256-728-8193 Open
daily at 10 am.
CLAY HOUSE MUSEUM
16 Main Street, Madison 256-325-1018. Tour this
antebellum home with “A Walk Through Time”, 100
years of decorative style from 1850 - 1950 featuring Noritake Porcelain.
COVENANT COVE RESORT & MARINA
7001 Val-Monte Drive, Guntersville
256-582-1000 or 888-288-COVE.
www.covenantcove.com
EARLYWORKS MUSEUM COMPLEX
404 Madison Street SE, Huntsville, 256-564-8100.
GORHAM’S BLUFF
Pisgah, 256-451-ARTS. The Gorham’s Bluff
Institute is a non-profit organization dedicated to
THE VALLEY PLANET
124 Southside Square, Huntsville, 256-536-3631.
ARS NOVA SCHOOL OF THE ARTS
7908C Charlotte Drive, Huntsville, 256-883-1105.
www.arsnovahsv.com
Alabama’s oldest hardware store.
HUNTSVILLE BOTANICAL GARDEN
4747 Bob Wallace Avenue, Huntsville,
256-830-4447. The 110-acre garden is open yearround. Summer Hours, Memorial Day through
Labor Day: M-Sat, 9am-8pm; Sun, 1–8pm. $8
Adults, $6 Senior or Military, $3 Children ages 318.www.hsvbg.org.
HUNTSVILLE STARS
Joe W. Davis Stadium, 3125 Leeman Ferry Rd,
Huntsville, 256-882-2562.
BROADWAY THEATRE LEAGUE
700 Monroe St. Suite 410, Huntsville
(all performances held at Von Braun Center)
256-518-6155. www.btleague.org
FANTASY PLAYHOUSE CHILDREN’S THEATRE
3312 Long Avenue SW, Huntsville, 256-539-6829
HUNTSVILLE HAVOC
Professional Hockey, Eastern Hockey League. 700
Monroe Street. Huntsville, AL 35801 (256) 5186160.
FLYING MONKEY ARTS CENTER
2211 Seminole Drive, Huntsville, 256-489-7000
Flying Monkey Arts Center is a not for profit
community arts collective that encourages,
supports and promotes the arts. www.flyingmon
keyarts.org
THE LAND TRUST TRAILS
Bankhead Pkwy., Huntsville, 256-534-LAND
Year-round hiking on 547 acres of Monte Sano
preserve. www.landtrust-hsv.org
FOOTLIGHTS COMMUNITY THEATER
302 Hoffman St. Athens, 256-216-0903
www.footlightstheater.org
[email protected]
MONTE SANO STATE PARK
5015 Nolen Ave., Huntsville, 256-534-3757
HUNTSVILLE BALLET COMPANY
800 Regal Drive SW, Huntsville, 256-539-0961
SCI-QUEST
102-D Wynn Drive, Huntsville, 256-837-0606.
An exciting hands-on science center.
www.sci-quest.org
HUNTSVILLE COMMUNITY CHORUS
3312 Long Avenue, Fantasy Arts Center, Huntsville,
256-533-6606
TENNESSEE VALLEY VIPERS
Arena Football, American Conference Southern
Division. 700 Monroe St, Huntsville, VBC, 256-5513240. www.vipersaf2.com
THREE CAVES
Directions: Off California St., turn onto Hermitage,
left onto Kennemer Dr. Call The Land Trust at (256)
534-5263 to reserve your spot on a public cave
tour or to arrange a private tour for your group.
US SPACE & ROCKET CENTER
1 Tranquility Base, Huntsville, 256-837-3400. Open
9am-5pm year round except for Thanksgiving,
Christmas Eve and Day, and New Year’s Eve and
Day. Admissions: Museum only – Adults $12 &
Child 3-12 $8, www.spacecamp.com
#030206032206
HUNTSVILLE SYMPHONY ORCHESTRA
North Side Von Braun Center, Huntsville 256-5394818.
LOWE MILL
2211 Seminole Dr., Huntsville, Art, Music, Film and
Poetry. See Calendar for Event Dates
RENAISSANCE THEATRE AT LINCOLN CENTER
1214 Meridian Street N, Huntsville, 256-536-3434.
www.renaissancetheatre.net
THEATRE HUNTSVILLE
Business Office. 1701 University Dr, Suite 1,
Huntsville, 256-536-0807. www.theatrehsv.org.
VOLUME 4, ISSUE 3
27
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Music Video Shootout St. Patricks Day Fun Hard Rock Essentials

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