getting - xavjudd

GETTING
FREAKY
There’s a whole lot of weird going on Down Under if you know where to look. Luckily, our man XAV JUDD
has a nose for finding the funniest, craziest and downright weirdest festivals in Australia...
NUDE BEACH OLYMPICS
WHERE: ADELAIDE
WHEN: JANUARY 26
The lowdown: This memorable
spectacle is not for the faint-hearted
as boobs, penises and other wobbly
bits jostle for attention every Australia Day. Rarely has so much
sunscreen been readily splashed on, as entrants try and stop their
most unseemly places getting frazzled. The clothes-free dangleathon occurs on Maslin Beach. Thousands flock to its golden
sands to join in pursuits like the nude three-legged race and best
bum competition. Rumour has it that half of the country’s police
force is also drafted in, to keep tabs on the peeping Toms.
More info: www.maslinbeach.net
COCKROACH RACES
WHERE: BRISBANE
WHEN: JANUARY 26
The lowdown: When they
said that you could bring
your own cockroaches, I was
hoping they weren’t a local
delicacy, or I might just have
given the invite a miss.
However, instead of being
left to
lurk under
fridges, here
they put the
pesky blighters
through
their paces in a wacky race. The whole dirtfest starts when the
insects are chucked into a small circle, with the winner being the
one that makes it to the edge first. And, in an event run by the
Story Bridge Hotel, there’s more betting than at the GGs.
More info: www.cockroachraces.com.au
BEER CAN REGATTA
WHERE: DARWIN
WHEN: AUGUST
The lowdown: Believe me, after I’ve
had a few tinnies, I can get up to all
sorts of misdemeanours. Nevertheless,
one thing I’ve never thought of is
building a boat out of the empties. The action takes place
on Mindil Beach. And, despite the fact that Admiral Nelson
might not have cast off to battle in hunks of junk, the weird
craft definitely make for a fun day out. More info: www.
beercanregatta.org.au
BOOROWA IRISH WOOLFEST
WHERE: NEW SOUTH WALES
WHEN: OCTOBER
The lowdown: In Pamplona, they have the running of the bulls:
a helter-skelter adrenalin rush where one’s life can be ended at
any moment. Here on the other hand, well, there’s the running of
the sheep. Yes, everybody’s favourite frizzy piece of mutton is set
loose to ‘rampage’ through the streets. And if that isn’t too much
excitement for one day, there’s also sheep shagging,
sorry shearing, in the ‘blessing of the fleece’.
More info: www.irishwoolfest.boorowa.net
ABOUT THE WRITER... Known back
ck in
London as a wannabe clone of tennis ace Björn
örn
Borg, XAV JUDD’S never hesitated to show
w anyone
who’ll watch his dainty ball toss or canny backhander.
ackhander.
Although Sweden is his über-destination, this
is freelance
journo was last seen roaming around the Scottish
ottish
Highlands looking for ferrets.
THE IDEAS FESTIVAL
WHERE: BRISBANE
WHEN: MARCH 25-29
The lowdown: I only get a decent notion
about once a decade. So I was happy to
attend a do that wasn’t just reserved for
bright sparks who’ve got a quantum
mechanics manual shoved up their arse.
This cultural gem originated, in 2001,
to celebrate invention, innovation and
foster debate – and I’m not talking
about you arguing with your mate
over who can sink their schooner the
fastest! Concepts that are particularly
important in this nod to high-IQ
wannabes include ecology and
ethics, self and society.
More info:
www.ideasfestival.com.au
ISA RODEO
WHERE: MOUNT ISA
WHEN: AUGUST 12-14
The lowdown: Mount Isa’s Buchanan Park
has been hosting this gritty mud-drenched
encounter for over 50 years, which makes
it about as old as my granddad’s current set
of false teeth. And like them it’s got a lot
of bite, being a reminder that the Yanks are
not the only ones with a Wild West. Thus, saddle up and bring
your favourite checked shirt, but be ready to take part in some
contests that sound so zany you might think you’re starring in
a DIY fetish sex-manual: bareback, ladies breakaway roping,
saddlebronc and steer wrestling…
More info: www.isarodeo.com.au
MOOMBIA WATERFEST
WHERE: MELBOURNE
WHEN: MARCH 11-14
The lowdown: Australia’s largest free
community fair is held annually during
Victoria’s Labour Day long weekend.
Since it began in 1965, a carnival,
fireworks and band performances –
including ABBA, Neil Diamond and AC/DC – have all been part of
the spectacular. Arguably, the craziest highlights are based in and
around the River Yarra. As well as a myriad of floats and water
skiing, there’s also the strangest thing since that golfer Tiger was
caught repeatedly trying to get his wood into the wrong bunker,
the Birdman Rally. Witness a host of flying contraptions leaping
off Princess Bridge trying to defy gravity.
More info: www.moombafestival.com.au
SHE’S A BREEZE!
*Bookings made throughout Oct 2010. Travel 4-31 October 2010.
Rates in NZ$. Standard Backpacker terms and conditions apply.
** Bookings made throughout Oct 2010. Travel 15 Oct-21
November 2010 includes 3% admin fee. Rates in AU$.
Standard Backpacker terms and conditions apply.
TARA MULTICULTURAL FESTIVAL
CAMEL RACES
WHERE: QUEENSLAND
WHEN: AUGUST 5-7
The lowdown: Everybody enjoys a
bit of humping. So it’s no surprise that
we’ve been using camels to transport things since before time
began. And the good folks in Tara have even got them zooming
humans down a dusty track. And boy, what a good idea! Because
the ships-of-the desert deserve a lot more than just being
chopped into a substandard meat pie that even a dog would
turn its nose up at. But this shindig has a global aspect too; be
prepared for Aboriginal, Brazilian and Maori entertainments and
even a German beer festival. What more invitation do you need
to get as sloshed as a Kaiser?
More info: www.outbacknow.com.au
TUNARAMA
WHERE: PORT LINCOLN
WHEN: JANUARY 21-26
The lowdown: Some people might say that tossing off can be a
bit fishy. Nonetheless, more than 35,000 individuals head to Port
Lincoln each year to see huge pieces of meat get a thrashing.
Indeed, in the World Championship Tuna Toss, male and female
competitors attempt to hurl the said marine critter as far as
they can. Incidentally, the record lob of 37.23 metres was set by
former Olympic hammer thrower Sean Carlin, in 1998. Other
ways for visitors to let off steam are the Slippery Pole and Grand
Tasman Hotel Beach Babe & Boardies contests. And if either
of those doesn’t grab you by the short and curlies, there’s a
fireworks display and kooky street procession.
More info: www.tunarama.net
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