here to a PDF version

Transcription

FREE
PQMONTHLY.COM
Vol. 3 No. 4
April/May 2015
PHOTO BY ERIC SELLERS
PORTLAND
Wedding Edition
INSIDE: The Return of Red Dress, QDoc’s Complete Lineup, PQ’s Wedding Vendor Guide, Pride Foundation’s 30 Years, Weed Weddings, & Much More!
Steve Strode, Realtor®
PQ PRESS PARTY!
• Accredited Buyer’s Representative
• Certified International Property Specialist
• Portland metro & global real estate services
Get PQ Monthly hot off the presses the third Thursday of every month at our PQ Press Parties!
This April 16th!
&
Cut through the noise with Sage advice
LOCAL EXPERTISE & GLOBAL BREADTH
503.490.4116
Meadows Group Inc., Realtors
Licensed in Oregon
sagepacificliving.com
[email protected]
you have
1,138 reasons
• April 16, 2015, 5P.M.-7 P.M. THE ELYSIAN BALLROOM
1
Find Out How Federal and State Laws
Affect Your Financial Future
AXA Advisors has been helping the LGBT community set and
reach financial goals for decades.
Call today for free consultations.
John Harrison, CFP®
Financial Advisor
[email protected]
Tel: (503) 222-9471, ext. 329
Cell: (503) 367-2926
Duncan Sandlin
Financial Professional
[email protected]
Tel: (503) 222-9471
Cell: (541) 619-0513
AXA Advisors, LLC, ONE SOUTHWEST COLUMBIA ST, SUITE 1550, PORTLAND,
OR 97258
1 Source: www.HRC.org
(918 SW Yamhill St Portland, Oregon)
Join us next
May 21st at:
• May 21, 2015, 5P.M.-7 P.M. Tony Starlight Showroom
(1125 SE Madison St, Portland, OR 97214)
Like us on Facebook for details on the press parties & all things PQ Monthly!
Investment advisory products and services offered through AXA Advisors, LLC, an investment advisor registered with
the SEC. Annuity and life insurance products of aff liate AXA Equitable Life Insurance Company (New York, NY) and unaff
liated insurance companies offered through AXA Network, LLC and its insurance agency subsidiaries. AXA Advisors and
its affiliates do not provide tax or legal advice.
GE-92745a (4/14) (Exp. 4/16)
G31775
KIM SEIGAL
Real Estate Broker
Your Dream. My Dedication.
Your Next Home.
971.222.8027
Email: [email protected]
KIMSEIGAL.COM
2 • April/May 2015
Licensed in the state of Oregon.
REAL ESTATE GROUP
pqmonthly.com
PQ TEAM
THE I-5 AGAINST THE REST OF THE WORLD
(Or at least those states pursuing religious exemption laws.)
Melanie Davis
Owner/Publisher
[email protected]
chris Àlvarez
Art Director
[email protected]
editorial TEAM
daniel borgen
Editor
[email protected]
Leela Ginelle
Regular Contributor
[email protected]
Matt Pizzuti
Regular Contributor
[email protected]
Belinda Caroll
Contributor, Social Media Manager
[email protected]
Amanda Schurr
Web Editor
[email protected]
SALES TEAM
larry lewis
Sales Representative
[email protected]
lynda Wilkinson
Sales Representative
[email protected]
National Advertising
Rivendell Media 212-242-6863
[email protected]
photographers
Oscar Foster
Staff Photographer
[email protected]
contributing writers
TJ Acena, Belinda Carroll, Marco Davis,
Gula Delgatto, Andrew Edwards, Leela
Ginelle, Sossity Chiricuzio ,Shaley
Howard, Konrad Juengling, Richard
Jones, LeAnn Locher, Michael James,
Monika MHz, Miss Renee, Katey Pants,
and, of course, your PQ Editorial Team
By the time you read
this, my hope is that you
will be sipping your favorite beverage and enjoying
the exquisite environment
of the Elysian Ballroom,
as we unveil our second
annual Wedding Edition
at the April PQ Monthly
Press Party. PQ’s first Wedding Edition came out last
year on the cusp of Oregonians gaining marriage
equality—we won in the
courts and we celebrated
our hearts out. Therefore,
it is with great honor that
we offer our second annual
Wedding Edition. We would
not be able to do that without the support of our
advertisers; it is paramount
that all of our LGBTQ community and allies patronizes and supports our advertisers because they support us! I know it’s hard
to believe that in this day and age we still continue to find businesses that
want to find ways to deny us service but we continue to see it with bakeries, photographers, pizzerias, event taxi drivers in Oregon, Washington,
Indiana and across our great nation.
I wrote about the “Right to Turn Away the Gay” bills popping up (http://
www.pqmonthly.com/right-turn-away-gay-watch/18584) just 14 months
ago—now after another political cycle has passed, we see legislatures passing discrimination, and some governors are signing discrimination into
law. (Side note: If you don’t think voting matters in non-gubernatorial election and presidential years, this should serve as proof, nationwide, as the
GOP seizes many of our state House and Senate legislative floors.) Now
we have an uphill battle! Thankfully corporate America has stepped in
and thrown their support behind the LGBTQ community through advertising in your local LGBTQ communities’ publications, politically, and by
issuing statements of support. Some have even gone as far as boycotting
states like Indiana.
“There have been times throughout history where people have been
persecuted for their religious beliefs because they were unpopular. This bill
provides a shield of protection for that.” Rep. Charles Macheers, R-Shawnee, said on the House floor that his bill prevents discrimination. As our
country becomes more and more divided, we can only expect that discrimination bills like this will become cleverer; they will craftily string
together words that will discriminate against our basic freedoms in America. Therefore, we need to be mindful and proactive in supporting business
that support equality. More than ever, our LGBTQ publications are becoming important to showcase businesses that will not discriminate against
us. Just as our publications were important to us early on in the 30s, 40s,
50s, 60s, 70s, 80s and so on—when we were seeking safe places to be who
we are, we are again in 2015 seeking those same safe places. I have heard
many people say that our community is becoming mainstream—and it
is in many ways. However, the opposition has a strategy and they will be
relentless in their attacks against us.
That being said, and as many of you may already know, we at PQ Monthly
are working hard at bringing together our communities. After being contacted by some significant tech people in the Bay Area, they encouraged
me to explore the idea of growing our (PQ’s) digital reach and localization in the Bay and Seattle. So on April 1, 2015, we at Brilliant Media llc.,
expanded our digital reach with the creation of www.ProudQueerBayArea.
com and www.ProudQueerSeattle.com—our family both north and south
of us share the common thread of pride in our culture and community and
the willingness to expand conversations with each other. Additional, all
3 sites (Seattle, Portland, & Bay Area) boast the most robust community
calendar with direct linkage to their sister sites. This calendar is also free
to post your events on. Please feel free to contact us if you are interested
in blogging/writing/selling or have story ideas.
Tonight I will be in the Bay Area celebrating the first ever Queer Fashion Week—and they are hosting the Bay Area’s first ever PQ Press Party,
and tomorrow I was invited to walk the celebrity runway in support of Red!
Seattle, we will be there next for a Press Party. It is with all of my and our
team’s hopes that the I-5 linkage—and media expansion from the Bay to
Seattle and the world wide web, and our willingness to expand our conversations geographically with genuine inclusion—we can help our nation
push though these intolerable and unjust times and lead by example in
our mission of: Every letter and every color being represented.
#nojusticenopeace #solidaridad #proudqueer
Your Publisher,
Melanie C. Davis
A SMATTERING OF WHAT YOU’LL FIND INSIDE:
ON THE COVER
Meet the Folks Who Make Red Dress Happen.........................Page 4
QDoc Returns; Go to the Movies...............................................Page 6
Celebrate Our Unions.................................................................Page 8
Queer-Friendly Wedding Businesses.........................................Page 10
Marriage is a Marathon..............................................................Page 12
503.228.3139
Weed Weddings..........................................................................Page 16
Revisit Brandon Teena’s Brave Life............................................Page 20
proudqueer.com
Stephen Marc Beaudoin Runs for MSD.....................................Page 23
THE NATIONAL ADVERTISING REPRESENTATIVE OF PQ MONTHLY
IS RIVENDELL MEDIA, INC.
BRILLIANT MEDIA LLC, DBA EL HISPANIC NEWS & PQ MONTHLY.
pqmonthly.com
This month’s cover is the brainchild of Eric Sellers
and Michael Shaw Talley, and we think it’s an excellent
representation of what makes our queer unions unique.
Photos by Sellers, Styling by Talley, clothing provided
by Red Light, studio and flowers provided by Bloke,
dresses provided by Madeline Mahrie, jewelry provided
by Talley.
Page 24: Oregon Teacher of the Year Fired.............................Page 24
Plus: Gatekeepers and Trans Health Care, This Ends Badly, ID Check, Radical Relationships, The
Lady Chronicles, BRO and Lived Equality in Oregon, Midlife Adventures (Not Crises), PFLAG
Black Chapter Celebrates 6 Years, Queer Aperture, and Much More! Not seeing what you’d like
to see? Email our editor! He’s always open to (productive) feedback. [email protected].
April/May 2015 • 3
FEATURE
RED DRESS, PORTLAND’S “SULTRY BEAST,” IS BACK!
By Matt Pizzuti, PQ Monthly
“We meet in September to kinda reconnect, then in October and November to really
get planning for the next year. By now we’re meeting weekly,” Kemp said. “It’s gonna be
While the rest of us debated whether a certain dress was white or blue, a local group a great party, but it’s totally a volunteer-driven thing. We all have full-time jobs. I’m very
of organizers were thinking red. They’re setting the stage for Portland’s annual Red Dress grateful and very gracious to my fellow board members; if they weren’t the people they
Party, an ebullient extravaganza now in its 15th year and promising a night of food, fun and are, I wouldn’t do this.”
(rumor has it) frequent frisky fondling — benefitting health-related charities in Portland.
He said the hardest part of the planning process is venue shopping. “It’s increasingly
This year’s event, Saturday, May 16 in Northeast Portland, is themed “Red Top” — think more difficult to find one now that the economy’s doing better,” Kemp said. The organizcircus tent — with DJs, multiple performance acts and a ritzy VIP package for those who ers look for a warehouse space with a raw, unfinished feel. This year they found that at
want those extra perks.
the Old Freeman Factory, at 2638 NW Wilson St.
“It’s a homegrown party that really captures the quirkiness of Portland,” said Judge
“My favorite thing about this year’s party is that it’s a brand new building that PortKemp, a member of the organization’s board and Red Dress
land hasn’t had a chance to see yet,” Poteet said. “It’s a
devotee who’s been involved in the event since its early
60 or 70 year old building that was a hay-bailing factory
years. “It started as a house party in NW, but it’s grown to
— not a big need for that in central Portland anymore —
have hundreds in attendance,” Kemp said.
so they’re turning it into an event space. This is the first
And for those who aren’t familiar with the famous
large scale event there.”
annual event, remember — circus theme notwithstandAnd it may also be the last time Red Dress gets to use
ing — it really is all about that dress.
the venue; Poteet said these Red Dress parties have a
“Everybody’s required to wear a red dress. It has to
tendency to work as really effective advertisements for
be 75 percent color red, or you can’t get in,” said board
a party space.
member and organizer John Poteet. “And yes, we have
“It’s kind of a hallmark of the Red Dress party that one
turned people away at the door.”
of the partygoers ends up leasing the building and moving
In fact, he said, in all of Red Dress history they’ve made
a business there,” Poteet said.
but one exception to the red dress rule: for Chelsea Clinton.
Now imagine that virgin dance floor filled with jug“She was in town campaigning for her mother in 2008.
glers, fire dancers, LED hoop performers and more at this
We figure, OK, if you’re the daughter of a former president
year’s big event. The organizers are also doubling down
— and in this case also the daughter of a future president
their efforts to bring in a youthful spark.
— you can come in without a red dress.” (Did you catch
“We’re going for a much younger clientele,” Poteet said.
that, Malia and Sasha?)
“We reduced the price and we have the circus theme. OrigThis year’s Red Dress Party beneficiaries are Our House,
inally, years ago this was a younger party, and we want to
a housing and healthcare resource for people with HIV, as
get back to that.”
well as Cascade AIDS Project. General admission is $55,
“‘Red Top’ is kind of a playoff ‘American Horror Story:
although there’s a chance to go for free if you volunteer to
Freak Show,’” Kemp said. “Kind of a sexy circus. Last
help with the event, said Larry Lewis, another Red Dress
year was Red Wedding, after the red wedding on Game
board member (and, full disclosure, a sales representaof Thrones. The themes allow the guests to be creative.”
tive for PQ Monthly).
(Find photo galleries of the Red Dress going all the
“Some people volunteer because they just wanted to
way back to 2003 at the event’s website, http://reddresshelp, but we do track their hours and can let them know
pdx.com, where you can also get more info and order
they’ve earned a ticket — sometimes they’re surprised,” he
your tickets.)
said. “It’s truly a good cause, and your help is needed. The
The atmosphere? “It’s Disneyland for adults, plus
bartenders donate their tips back to the cause, and the conbooze,” Poteet said. “It isn’t exclusively a queer party and
tractors are compensated, of course, but they give us good
it isn’t a drag party, it’s Red Dress. There are a lot of hetdeals so more goes back to the beneficiaries.”
erosexual men who go, and women; basically, everybody
Lewis said Red Dress has raised about $300,000 for
who’s there steps 15.8 percent out of their comfort zone.”
charity beneficiaries over the years — that’s an average of
He added: “Expect to see one of everything, and a half
about $20,000 per annual event — with a board that puts
of something you’re not sure what you saw! … Did ya get
in countless hours as an unpaid labor of love.
that? Heh.”
“It started as a house party in NW, but it’s grown to have hundreds in attendance,” Judge Kemp,
“We have to cover our expenses and be responsible, but
“It’s very excitable, very loud there,” Pospisil said, “and
above, says. you look out and can’t tell anything about who anybody is
our goal is to give away as much as possible. Our goal is 50
percent of revenues to the beneficiary, and hopefully someday that will be 60 or 70 percent.” — all you see is a sea of red dresses.” But that’s not to say the magic never happens 1-on“We’ve had very good success getting volunteers,” said Karl Rohde, another board 1. “It’s a sexy party, there’s a lot of that. It turns into a pretty hot party,” she said.
member who added, with a chuckle: “The struggle is getting people to get up early in the
Among the food and drinks available there will be more non-alcoholic options this
morning to help clean up.”
year, a response to requests from patrons after last year’s party.
Board member Polly Pospisil, who’s part of the group’s design team, said the same —
But the board has a request to make for patrons, too: buy your tickets soon!
“As a board member we’re required to be there to help clean up the morning after, and
“Buy early and buy often,” Rohde said. “One of our focuses this year is getting the turnwe’ve already put a lot of work into it. But my favorite part of the process is that magical out. From a planning perspective, the more we can get a good head count as early as poshour when we’ve finished putting it together, we go back to the hotel to get cleaned up, sible, the more we can maximize our use of resources and the revenue we can guarantee
come back and now there’s this huge party there.”
goes towards charity.”
Planning for each annual event starts as early as September the year before, Kemp said,
Poteet put it a little more bluntly.
when board members meet to brainstorm the upcoming party’s theme.
RED DRESS p age 7
pqmonthly.com
FEATURE
pqmonthly.com
FEATURE
QDOC RETURNS WITH ANOTHER STELLAR LINEUP!
This year’s festival includes, from left: “Larry Kramer in Love & Anger,” “The Year We Thought about Love,” and “Game Face.” This year’s festival runs from Thursday, May 14, through Sunday, May 17 at The Hollywood Theater.
By Daniel Borgen, PQ Monthly
We’ve said it before and we’ll say it again: David Weissman, co-founder of QDoc, is a
national treasure, a man beaming with passion and creativity. Weissman is an Emmy-nominated filmmaker, teacher, film programmer, public speaker (catch his Dark Night of the
Soul stuff), and longtime activist. He’s best known for his two acclaimed documentaries,
“We Were Here” and “The Cockettes.”
Before moving to Portland, he spent over 30 years in San Francisco—at the height of
the gay revolution. He’s taught classes and workshops, been a guest speaker, and presented his work at many universities, including USC, Stanford, Yale, and UC Santa Cruz,
to name a few. And he remembers wistfully the history of old San Francisco—a city he
used to consider his muse.
QDoc is the only film festival in the world devoted exclusively to LGBT documentaries;
its other co-founder, the wildly talented (and sometimes quieter of the duo) Russ Gage, has
a long background in the film festival world, dating back to Frameline in San Francisco.
QDoc is the very definition of community-building: An inspirational, joyful, emotional
romp through queer culture. “Every year, I want everyone to see every fucking movie,” says
Weissman. “We [him and Russ Gage] do this [curate QDoc] for cultural and political reasons—
there are a lot of amazing, compelling stories out there. Sharing this stuff reminds us we’re
all in this together—that we’re a community, and as a community we have a shared experience. Each year, we program based on what we think will bring people back—not necessarily what will bring people in. We want to give you something you can’t get anywhere else.”
It’s this drive and passion that help make QDoc the wild success it is year in and year
out. “I run into people I know,” says Weissman. “They tell me, ‘I don’t even need to look
at the program, I know it’s going to be great.’” He also suggests sitting in on a movie that
night not necessarily interest you. Some people find their favorite documentaries that way.
Mark your calendars, clear your weekend, and fit QDoc into your schedule. Check out
a movie you might not otherwise choose (the complete schedule follows). In the meantime, here are some descriptions to whet your appetite.
This year’s festival runs from Thursday, May 14, through Sunday, May 17—and it’s at
The Hollywood Theater. To purchase advanced tickets and passes, and to review the complete schedule, go to queerdocfest.org. (Festival passes are $75, but you can get tickets for
individual screenings.)
This year’s festival kicks off Thursday, May 14 at 7:00pm with the screening of GAME
FACE. Filmed in several locations around the country, including Portland, filmmaker and
gay basketball player Michiel Thomas follows MMA fighter, Fallon Fox, and rising college basketball player, Terrence Clemens, as they train and compete against other athletes in their respective sports. While Fallon Fox came out as the first transgender professional MMA fighter amid a wide range of reactions and public debate, Terrence is new
to his college campus, where no one knows that he is gay. This is the powerful coming
out story of two athletes at the top of their game, seeking to be seen, accepted and permitted to compete as equals among their peers. Filmmaker Michiel Thomas, Fallon Fox,
and Terrence Clemens will be in attendance. Rumor has it that gay former NBA player,
Jason Collins, who appears in the film, will also be attending opening night – stay tuned
for more information!
(After the Q&A at Hollywood Theatre, there will be an Opening Night Party held at Velo
Cult at 1969 NE 42nd, from 9:00pm – 11:30pm, featuring beer, wine, and catering by Pambiche. Tickets for the film and Opening Night Party are $25. Festival Passes, $75, and include
admission to all screenings and the Opening Night Party.)
The other films featured in this year’s festival include (in order of their screening)
PACKED IN A TRUNK (Friday, May 15, 6:45pm) – In this HBO film from director Michelle
Boyaner, writer/director Jane Anderson digs into the mystery of her aunt, Provincetown
artist Edith Lake Wilkinson, who was committed to an asylum in 1924 and never heard
from again—a thoroughly entertaining lesbian “History Detective.”
WE CAME TO SWEAT: THE LEGEND OF STARLITE (Friday, May 15, 9pm) – When
Brooklyn’s oldest black gay bar, the Starlite Lounge, is faced with eviction, the community
decides to fight back. Will they be able to save this pre-Stonewall safe haven? Or is gentrification unstoppable? Kate Kunath and Sasha Wortzel’s timely portrait of a community
banding together to preserve their culture and history is a stirring must-see. TAB HUNTER CONFIDENTIAL (Saturday, May 16, 1pm) – Svelte and hunky Tab Hunter
was one of Hollywood’s leading male movie stars throughout the 50s and 60s. Director
Jeffrey Schwarz, returning to QDoc for the third time (“Vito” and “I am Divine”), chronicles Hunter’s meteoric career and allows the movie star to tell his own story of being a
closeted movie star while carrying on relationships with actor Anthony Perkins and an
Olympic skating star, among others.
THE ROYAL ROAD (Saturday, May 16, 3:30pm) – In this poetic and visually captivating film, San Francisco filmmaker Jenni Olson interweaves her romantic obsessions with
the history of colonial California while musing on nostalgia, butch identity, and Alfred
Hitchcock’s “Vertigo” – all cast against a contemplative backdrop of 16mm urban California landscapes.
LIMITED PARTNERSHIP (Saturday, May 16, 6pm) – In 1975, Richard Adams and his
Australian partner, Tony Sullivan, became one of the first same-sex couples in the world
to legally marry, thanks to a courageous county clerk in Boulder, Colorado. Richard and
Tony immediately filed for a green card for Tony, the denial of which by the US Immigration and Naturalization Service resulted in the first federal lawsuit seeking equal treatment for a same-sex marriage in U.S. history. Thus began their decades’ long battle for
their right to stay together.
THE CULT OF JT LEROY (Saturday, May 16, 8:30pm) – This film follows the bizarre
and sensational story of queer teenage literary sensation JT LeRoy, who burst onto the
scene with the autobiographical novel “Sarah” in the mid-1990s. The painfully shy LeRoy
– an HIV-positive, transsexual, former child prostitute – became the darling and protégé
of celebrities and literary figures such as Gus van Sant and Dennis Cooper, making him
a cult sensation until a scandalous revelation blew it all apart.
THE YEAR WE THOUGHT ABOUT LOVE (Sunday, May 17, 12:30pm) – A behind-thescenes look into the powerful work of one of the oldest queer youth theaters in America.
Filmmaker Ellen Brodsky follows Boston’s True Colors: OUT Youth Theater as they write
a play about love. With wit, grace, and attitude, this diverse ensemble transforms personal struggles into theater for social change. When bombs explode outside their building during the Boston Marathon, the troupe becomes even more determined to share
their stories of love to help heal their city.
THE NEW MAN (Sunday, May 17, 2:30pm) – Stefanía’s life began as a boy named
Roberto, who at the tender age of twelve fought for education and social reforms in the
Sandinista revolution in Nicaragua. Thirty years later, after a challenging life amid violence, drugs, prostitution, and political struggle, Stefanía strives to be accepted by society and her long estranged family.
FEELINGS ARE FACTS: THE LIFE OF YVONNE RAINER (Sunday, May 17, 4:30pm) –
Over the course of her career, postmodern choreographer and filmmaker Yvonne Rainer
revolutionized modern dance, generated what later became known as performance
art, and changed the basic tenets of experimental filmmaking – all during a time when
women were largely ignored in the art world. Director Jack Walsh captures Rainer’s defiant, uncompromising, and highly influential ideas and creations.
LARRY KRAMER IN LOVE & ANGER (Sunday, May 17, 7pm) – Jean Carlomusto’s HBO
biopic beautifully captures the complex, irrepressible, inspirational, exasperating and
brilliant essence of Larry Kramer. Widely known as the founder of ACT-UP and as one
of the most strident voices of AIDS activism, Kramer is portrayed here also in his role as
screenwriter, novelist, brother, friend and lover. This is a powerful and moving film about
one of the giants of our post-Stonewall history.
QDoc’s David Robinson contributed to this report.
pqmonthly.com
RED DRESS
Continued from page 4
“Portland. Get your goddamn tickets early. Get. Them.
Early.”
That’s not to scold; these organizers speak — and anyone
who attended last year’s event will know this — from the
deep pain of a traumatic experience.
“Last year we cut the Porta Potties thinking that not
many people would come, and then a bunch more showed
up,” Poteet explained.
Ah, that fiasco. Do you remember now?
This time, put your mind at ease: the organizers have
learned from the experience. “We got extra toilets this year,
but it’s based on what we think attendance is gonna be — if
the attendance doubles three days before the event, that’s
challenging! And that’s what happened last year,” Poteet said.
Knowing the numbers helps the organizers make their
spending decisions wisely, leaving more of revenues to go
to the charity beneficiaries. That, Rohde said, is what keeps
him so invested in the party.
“My favorite part of the whole process, aside from the
party which is just a ton of fun, is the part where we figure
out the accounting and see how much we can give to the
charities,” Rohde said.
“I look at it as, Red Dress party is a sultry beast — it’s a
love-hate relationship,” Kemp said. “But the outcome, I love
seeing the looks on peoples’ faces when they come out, and
when we hand our checks over to the beneficiaries. I hope
everyone will come out and see the fun for themselves.”
Aside from that, Poteet had one piece of advice for
anyone who might attend: “Red dresses are going to start
to be a hard commodity to get, so start shopping now!”
Look out for: PQ Podcasts!
MONTHLY
pqmonthly.com
Mouthy &
WEDDINGS
LET’S CELEBRATE OUR UNIONS: LOVE STORIES
“My feelings about marriage changed soon after Dwight was injured in a serious car accident about 14 months ago. That experience helped me learn to live with my insecurities and recommit to marriage as a public promise of love, responsibility, and commitment.” Bob Speltz, far
left, on his partner, Dwight. “I’ve done a lot of cool things in my 17 years, but the coolest was rallying on the steps of the U.S. Supreme Court to strike down the Defense of Marriage Act on March 26, 2013,” says Zoe Duncan-Doroff, far right.
By Shaley Howard, PQ Monthly
texting and talking on the phone, I somehow was charming enough to convince her to
When talking about same-sex marriage, many people automatically turn their attention come to Alaska for our first date. I couldn’t believe this super hot babe had agreed to buy
to the politics and social acceptance of LGBT equality. How often we forget that behind a plane ticket and fly all the way out to Alaska to hang out with a woman she barely knew.
all the politicking are everyday individuals who simply want to have their love of another Waiting at the airport for Lauren’s arrival was one of the most nerve-racking moments of
person recognized and honored. Here we’ve collected some personal stories from a few my life. I remember standing at the gate, shaking with fear and excitement. We made our
same-sex couples and their family members. Even though homophobia was often expe- way to baggage claim; my heart and mind were racing. I remember watching bags go by
rienced on some level, the stories of romance, dating and love they share are universal — feeling nervous and insecure. Lauren leaned in and laid a juicy lip lock on me. That kiss
full of tender, loving, and often humorous moments.
set the pace for the rest of our relationship.”
Dwight Adkins and Bob Speltz met in Portland at a volunteer event called Hands
Brad and Jeff Tait were married July 5, 2014. Back in 2013 Brad thought he had bought
on Portland Day in 2000 but didn’t have their first actual date until five years later in the perfect birthday gift for his then-boyfriend Jeff. It all started when Brad bought Jeff
2005. Despite their own struggles with the concept of marriage and societal intol- a ring for his birthday in January. One afternoon he was chatting online with his best
erance, they are currently happily engaged and plan on wedding later this summer. friend Sarah. She asked whether he had given any thought about the present he was get
Said Adkins: “We’ve been blessed to each have famiting Jeff, whose birthday was right around the corner. He
lies who have been supportive of our relationship and loving
said he’d been batting around a few ideas, but hadn’t setbeyond measure. The struggles for us have come as a result
tled on anything yet. A couple hours later, he sent Sarah a
of living in a country where the so-called ‘moral majormessage saying he just bought Jeff the most incredible ring
ity’ has regulated the human rights of others they deemed
he’d been admiring for months. “A ring is NOT a birthday
inferior or unfit. We’ve since witnessed public opinion about
present,” his friend responded. “What do you think you’re
marriage equality shift from very negative to increasingly
saying giving your boyfriend a ring?” They decided then
positive in just over a decade. Both of us remember the
and there Brad wasn’t buying Jeff a birthday ring — but an
passage of Measure 36 in 2004 as a definite low point in
engagement ring.
Oregon. Seeing those bumper-stickers that said ‘Marriage
“After buying the ring, I reached out to one of Jeff’s friends
= 1 Man + 1 Woman’ emboldened us to get more involved
in Orlando to help plan the best way to propose,” Brad said.
in the LGTBQ community and deepen our ties to organi“Jeff’s friend knew the perfect spot to propose in Epcot
zations like Basic Rights, Q Center, Our House and others.”
Center — a little pier in the Italy Pavilion overlooking the
“I had to work through my ambivalence and anxiety
iconic Epcot dome. Starting about four days prior to the proabout marriage. I’ve witnessed friends and family marry
posal, I gave Jeff a greeting card each day expressing appreand later divorce. It was hell to see people you loved go
ciation for the different facets of their relationship — friendthrough that. Why would I get married and risk failing at it?
ship, trust, love, etc. Since Jeff’s birthday was less than a week
I thought dating and living together seemed like a perfect
away, he assumed these cards were leading to that. But, on
commitment. If it didn’t work out, you each just move on
the evening of February 2, 2013, I gave Jeff his final card on
and find someone else. Did LGBTQ folks really need marthat pier. All that was written inside was — Will you marry
riage?” asked Speltz. “My feelings about marriage changed
me? Jeff was stunned but immediately said yes.”
soon after Dwight was injured in a serious car accident
“We are so grateful to have amazingly supportive
about 14 months ago. That experience helped me learn to
family and friends who gave so much.” Jeff said. “My older
live with my insecurities and recommit to marriage as a
brother built a ‘wine box’ for our ceremony made from a
public promise of love, responsibility, and commitment.” Laramie and Aubree Holliman met at a big lesbian house party. Aubree was sitting on a couch hundred-year-old wood from a barn on our parents propwith a baseball hat pulled down over her face and Laramie was immediately intrigued. erty. The idea behind the wine box is that inside, there’s
Lauren Reini and Holland Mitchell met seven years ago
at Gaycation and just recently married on March 21, 2015.
a bottle of wine, two wine glasses, and letters we wrote
Holland shared the excitement and thrill of meeting the person who would eventually to each other just before the ceremony talking about our feelings about marriage and
become her wife.
what we hope for each other over the next ten years. At our ceremony, our officiant dis“I was living in Alaska at the time but had come to Portland for a winter break. My cussed the purpose behind the wine box, and we locked it in front of all our guests. In
friends and I were out dancing when I noticed Lauren, at 6’2” towering over all the other ten years, we’ll open the box and share our letters with each other over the bottle of
girls. I quickly made my way across the dance floor to get a closer look. She must have wine. Or, in the event we encounter a really difficult situation that puts our marriage
been pretty impressed by my sweet dance moves because I had her number by the end at risk, we open the box earlier to remind ourselves why we chose to marry each other.”
of the night! I only saw her out one other time before I headed back to Alaska. After I got
Laramie and Aubree Holliman met at a big lesbian house party. Aubree was sitting
home I proceeded to stalk Lauren on MySpace. (Yes, MySpace.) After a couple months of on a couch with a baseball hat pulled down over her face and Laramie was immediately
LOVE STORIES page 11
pqmonthly.com
FEATURE
NEWS
pqmonthly.com
NEWS
WEDDINGS
WHO SHOULD YOU CHOOSE FOR YOUR SPECIAL
DAY? FORTUNATELY, WE’VE GOT A FEW IDEAS:
MALOY JEWELERS: In 1986, Maloy’s Jewelry Workshop first opened its doors in Portland. The aim was to offer both lovingly handmade custom pieces and high quality antique
and estate jewelry from the Georgian period (18th century) onwards. Maloy’s wanted to
offer distinctive pieces that would be passed down from generation to generation. They
also offer expert repair and restoration.
BOTANICA FLORAL: is an eco-friendly full service custom floral studio located in SE
Portland, providing exquisite flowers throughout the Portland metro area that specializes in local, organic, fair trade and sustainably grown flowers for weddings, events, corporate accounts & functions, private parties, holidays, tributes &
memorials, daily deliveries and more. So whether you are looking for something simple or extravagant; they’ll provide you with
gorgeous flowers every time.
REAL MOTHER GOOSE: Walk into one of their stores, or browse
their collections online and you’ll find art and craft with character.
Each piece has a story, an identity, and a spirit. Each piece is the
unique result of a vision, brought to life by an artist’s hand. Couple
that special character with function and you’ve got art for everyday living. Since starting their business in 1971, they’ve grown from
one tiny shop in Vancouver, Washington, to two Portland, Oregon
locations with over 10,000 square feet of contemporary fine American craft. Part gallery and part retail shop, The Real Mother Goose
has one goal: bring the best work by American artists and craftspeople together with friendly, personal service in an attractive and
comfortable space.
MAX VOLTAGE: is a classically trained violinist and loop-pedal
composer, available to play for your wedding or special event. Classical, Jazz, Pop, Folk, Rock; Max can cover any genre with innovative loops that create the sound of an entire string quartet! More
info (plus music & video samples) at www.maxvoltagepdx.com, or
email [email protected] for details and pricing.
JUDITH ARNELL JEWELERS: Judith Arnell has been actively
designing and manufacturing jewelry in her Chicago and Portland studios since 1972. Judith believes that each piece of jewelry should embody creative genius and masterful craftsmanship.
“My clients can feel confident that each and every piece they purchase from Judith Arnell Jewelers is both a solid investment and
an exceptional work of wearable art.” Judith creates unique handmade designs and features some of the country’s finest designers.
She also offers a large collection of vintage antique platinum diamond jewelry and specializes in Asscher cut diamonds.
ELYSIAN: Our hope is that you’re standing in its splendor as you read this. The Elysian
is an historic ballroom, the resplendent architectural centerpiece of the historic Pythian
building in downtown Portland. Their gorgeous suites will be the perfect place to have
a glass of champagne and celebrate with your bridal party before the ceremony begins;
imagine your walk down the aisle in their turn of the century
Italian Renaissance Ballroom, gorgeously lit with the original gold chandeliers, highlighting a cathedral-style ceiling
and a grand curtained stage as the backdrop for your ceremony. After the ceremony, the guests will make their way to
a beautifully appointed cocktail lounge for drinks and appetizers while your ballroom is re-set for your dream wedding
reception with dinner and dancing. In house catering and
DJ staff will assist you with detailing out all the important
details of your big day.
MCMENAMINS HISTORIC HOTELS: With McMenamins, the mundane becomes magical—depending on which
historic hotel you choose, you may find an onsite brewery,
a movie theater, a full-service spa, gardens and orchards,
a winery, soaking pools, live music and more. Along with
comfortable guestrooms, original artwork, restaurants and
pubs, of course. When booking your next getaway, retreat
or vacation, look to McMenamins for something extraordinary. You have the Crystal Hotel, Edgefield, Gearhart, Grand
Lodge, Hotel Oregon, and many more to choose from. Our
fave after all these years is, of course, Edgefield.
TONY STARLIGHT’S SHOWROOM: The culmination of
Bouquet by Botanica Floral Tony Starlight’s 20 years of work as an entertainer and venue
owner. The Showroom is the premiere live music and show
venue in the Northwest and will be the closest thing to a Vegas show in Portland. The room
is stunningly beautiful, with plush blue velvet curtains, hand-stenciled walls, and state-ofthe-art sound, lighting and HD video. They provide the audience with a truly memorable
dinner and show experience that you will want to share with friends and family. The VIP
Rat Pack Den is a much-sought-after room for corporate clients and family parties alike.
HILTON HOTEL: Enjoy a refreshing stay at the Hilton Portland & Executive Tower hotel,
the largest hotel in the state, located in the heart of the downtown Portland and only a
block from the MAX Light Railway System. The Hilton Portland & Executive Tower hotel
encompasses two buildings. Relax and rejuvenate in their contemporary main building guest rooms or upgrade to the elegant
Executive Tower and take in the commanding city views. Enjoy
classic American cuisine in the informal Bistro 921 restaurant.
Sample a Northwestern brewed beer and choose from a selection of tasty pizzas, specialty salads and classic sandwiches. Dine
on delicious Italian cuisine at Porto Terra Tuscan Bar and Grill.
Unwind with your favorite drink in the 921 Bar. Enjoy a specialty
cocktail or martini in the trendy Porto Terra Lounge.
XTABAY VINTAGE BRIDAL SALON: Opening its doors in
December of 2011, the Bridal Salon presents an unparalleled
shopping experience for brides-to-be. Located upstairs from the
Clothing Boutique, Liz designed the Salon with the understanding that choosing a bridal gown should be as joyful as wearing it;
the Bridal Salon is a light-filled aerie fitted with gilt-framed mirrors, lavish floral displays, and silk-upholstered furniture. Brides
and their attendants can explore their wedding fantasies through
Duchesse silk, Belgian lace, mousseline veils, and pearl-embroidered satin—all embodied in gowns celebrating a range of eras
from Downton Abbey to the 1970s bohemian spirit of Stevie Nicks.
All gowns are beautifully restored and can be tailored to you for
a couture finish by our in-house seamstress.
ASHLAND SPRINGS HOTEL: This refined, beaux arts-style
landmark, which opened in 1925, is a block from Lithia Park
and the annual Oregon Shakespeare Festival, and 0.8 miles from
Southern Oregon University. The elegant, naturalist-themed
rooms feature minifridges, flat-screen TVs and free WiFi. Continental breakfast is complimentary, and there’s also a restaurant
Photo by J Tyler Huber serving farm-to-table comfort fare. Additional amenities include a
spa and salon, and free parking. The Ashland Springs Hotel echoes
the “luxurious, elegant, splendid” features of its 1925 roots and continues its early tradition of “equal in luxury to any hotel in Oregon.”
ROSEHILL FLOWER FARM: Welcome to Rose Hill, a small, sustainable urban flower
farm and design studio in Portland, Oregon — Rose Hill grows gorgeous seasonal flowers and
creates elegant designs for a couple’s most special day. They specialize in gay and lesbian
WEDDING VENDORS page 15
pqmonthly.com
FASHION
LOVE STORIES
intrigued. A short time later Laramie was filling a glass at
the kitchen sink and felt someone standing behind her. She
turned around and saw Aubree. “As a classic super outgoing
Leo, I just opened my mouth and started talking about the
first thing that came to my mind,” Laramie said, followed
with, “’I saw a stinky corpse flower earlier at a botanical
garden. They’re from the Amazon, and they bloom a giant
5 foot tall lime green phallus with a red lily like bloom, and
they produce a dead human smell which spreads for miles,
every time they bloom, every 7 years.’ Aubree looked nonplussed then carefully and quietly said, ‘I’m just waiting
for a glass of water.’” Two years later they were engaged.
The struggles they faced prior to getting married were
primarily due to Laramie’s own family dysfunction and
homophobia. “My mom never had a proper wedding, so she
experienced a great deal of personal conflict the whole year
prior to our wedding. Specifically, she experienced her conflict by yelling and cursing at my sweet stunned face. Two
of my siblings refused to come, because they didn’t want to
be in the same room with my father.” Holliman explained,
continuing, “The one gay related issue for me was that my
mom and her two sisters decided not to tell my grandma
about the wedding. I sent her an invitation against their
wishes, but she had had a stroke, so she couldn’t read the
invitation without assistance, nor could she come without a great deal of assistance. It would’ve meant a lot for
me to have her there because she had actually been quietly more supportive of me since coming out than anyone
else in my family. But they thought she would be wrecked
if she ‘found out’ that I was gay, out loud. Aubree’s mom
and dad are fantastically supportive and accepting now but
back then they didn’t behave as if it was a ‘real’ wedding.
She referred to it as our commitment ceremony the year
prior and for several years afterwards.”
Zoe Duncan-Doroff is the daughter of Sue Doroff and
Holly Duncan.
“Growing up, I didn’t think that my home situation was
any different from those of my friends, and I was never concerned that my family was lacking in any way. My moms
were married in a not-legally-recognized wedding before I
was born in 1996, and then again in 2004 when gay marriage
was briefly legal in Oregon. Although their marriage was
not legitimate throughout most of my childhood, I was still
given a very rewarding and loving upbringing. I have done
a lot of cool things in my 17 years, but by far the coolest was
rallying on the steps of the United States Supreme Court to
strike down the Defense of Marriage Act on March 26, 2013.
My moms were legally married March 26, 2014 in Hawaii.
I will never forget the mixed feelings I experienced during
their wedding — how incredible it was to see them finally
receive the recognition they had been awaiting literally
my entire life, yet also how ordinary it felt. My moms had
always been married in my eyes and we had always been a
real family. I‘ve realized that because of my unique family
I actually have much more than my peers. Not only do I
intrinsically get to be part of the vibrant LGBTQ community but I am also in the thick of a powerful worldwide
movement. And I can also pride myself on having a better-than-average gaydar.”
Look out for: PQ Podcasts!
MONTHLY
pqmonthly.com
Mouthy &
VOICES
THE HOME FRONT
Marriage: It’s Not a
Sprint, It’s a Marathon
By Steve Strode, PQ Monthly
Anyone who knows me knows I’m
geeked on running and soggy outdoor life.
I joined Portland Frontrunners immediately upon moving to the Pacific Northwest, and it became an integral part of my
chosen family. And in my biz as a Realtor,
we often have clients who share common
interests and passions — many of my clients fit the same scruffy runner/biker/hiker
stereotype. How totally cool to have that in
one’s profession?
Running also serves as a metaphor for life
in general. The day before sitting down to
write this article, I was having a horrible trail
run — fueled in part by a prior evening filled
with tequila. So I paused on the Wild Cherry
Trail in Forest Park, and for the first time read
a memorial plaque I’ve run past countless
times. On it was a quote from Olympic athlete Julie Isphording, “Running has given me
the courage to start, the determination to
keep trying, and the childlike spirit to have
fun along the way. Run often and run long,
but never outrun your joy of running.”
Knowing that this month’s edition was
the marriage issue, two gentlemen immediately came to mind as emblematic — Bob
Olsen and Bruce Swanson. Bob and Bruce
relocated here a few years ago from Baltimore; Bob, 75, is a retired architect/urban
planner and Bruce, 69, is a retired minister.
They’ve been together nearly twenty years,
and before that were both married — and
now have grandchildren. They met at a Gay
Married Men’s group in DC, and were introduced by a mutual friend who knew they were
both running junkies. Not to my surprise,
their first date was a ½ marathon; and since
it was sponsored by the Boy Scouts, they wore
t-shirts protesting the BSA’s anti-gay stance.
When you meet Bruce and Bob at their
home, you immediately know they have built
a loving life together through a shared passion of running and the travel that goes with
it. A display of a bazillion finisher medal reads
like a timeline. Bob has completed 85 marathons; Bruce has completed 141 marathons
and ultras. And their calendar continues to
be filled with upcoming races. Both started
running in their 30s and 40s in response to
adversity. Bruce was diagnosed with an autoimmune disease at the age of 34, has been on
medication ever since, and is still considered
to have a “terminal” illness. Bob began running for health reasons and recalled memories similar to my own (the first ¼ mile felt like
he was going to die, but eventually it became
the time and space to make important decisions, the time to meditate and the time to
clear one’s mind). “Running saved my life,”
he says unequivocally.
Distance running
enables athletes to
travel the world, and
experience it way differently than conventional tourists. The guys reeled off stories
of one race after another, in places I never
thought organized events. Who knew that
Baffin Island held a competition (OK, who
even knows where that is precisely, without Googling)? The entire field consisted
of 13 marathoners, and 5 ultrarunners —
that’s all they had room to host. And there
was Tanzania. And Mongolia. And the Great
Wall of China. And Brazil. The list goes on.
One of my favorite stories was their race in
Antarctica. Due to weather issues on their
race day, they couldn’t leave the ship and
take the zodiac ashore. So the participants
did the entire marathon on the ship — in
the form of 422 deck laps. They had to run
the race in shifts; those who weren’t running checked off each lap on a clipboard,
one check box at a time.
Bob and Bruce married last year. I asked
if they debated whether or not to get married — or if they just knew they would, as
soon as it was legal. Bob’s answer was similar to many: “we weren’t sure, but wanted
the choice to be ours.” I was at their wedding last summer in Willamette Park, and
it was a really refreshing mix of communities — family from their prior marriages,
friends from all over, church community,
new friends at Terwilliger Plaza (a continuing care retirement community where they
live), and friends from their running group.
When I shared that observation, Bob and
Bruce said what I saw on wedding day was
exactly why they moved to Portland. From
a geographic perspective, they feel Portland
has the best urban trail running in the country. But more importantly, they could create a
blended community. They had some family
already in Portland, they felt welcome and
loved at Terwilliger Plaza, could be active in
the United Church of Christ, and have buddies of all ages at Frontrunners.
As we were wrapping up our chat, Bob
said he wanted to get back to something he
said earlier, about just wanting the choice to
get married — but not initially feeling it was
essential. He recalled that when they had
wills drawn up back in Maryland, the term
that had to be used in defining their relationship was “legal strangers.” Now nearly
a year after getting married, he’s continually struck by how good it feels to refer to
Bruce as his husband when talking to his
friends and family.
If Frontrunners ever chooses patriarchs,
it’ll be these gents. Happy trails.
Steve Strode is a broker with Meadows Group Inc., Realtors in Portland. When he
is not selling the American dream, he is probably wallowing on a muddy trail run
somewhere in the PNW. He may be reached at [email protected].
pqmonthly.com
FEATURES
PRIDE FOUNDATION CELEBRATES 30 YEARS
OF SERVING THE LGBTQ COMMUNITY
By Kris Hermanns, Executive Director
As we celebrate Pride Foundation’s 30th anniversary, I
cannot help but reflect on the irony of our current landscape.
Right now, over 70% of the U.S.
population lives in a state where
it is legal for LGBTQ couples to
marry, with the Supreme Court
set to make a decision on marriage
equality this summer. The shift
happened rapidly—seemingly
overnight—positively impacting
the lives of thousands of people
across the country.
Many of us never imagined
we would live to see the day we
could legally marry in our home
communities. As more and more
LGBTQ couples are able to publicly commit themselves to the one
they love, my heart is filled with a
joy and fulfillment that is hard to
describe.
Yet even when we make significant advancements
toward legal equality, it doesn’t always translate into
pqmonthly.com
improvements in people’s daily lived experiences. We see
this in the Religious Freedom Restoration Act that recently
passed in Indiana, which essentially legalizes discrimination. We see it in the devastatingly high murder rates
of transgender people, in particular
transgender people of color, and we
see it in the harassment and discrimination that many in our community
face on a daily basis.
In order to understand where our
movement for equality is going, it is
always important to reflect on our
past. That is why Pride Foundation’s
30th year is so meaningful to us—it
is an opportunity not only to celebrate our shared history and the
leaders who have brought us to this
moment, but also to look toward our
future and the work that lies ahead.
Pride Foundation is a regional
community foundation—based in
Alaska, Idaho, Montana, Oregon, and
Washington—that inspires giving to
expand opportunities and advance
full equality for LGBTQ people across the Northwest.
Through our grants program, scholarship program, and
timely initiatives, we are able to provide the essential support that individuals need to effect change in their local
communities.
When we first opened our doors in Seattle, Washington
in 1985, we were in the midst of the AIDS epidemic. The
fear and stigma that surrounded our community was overwhelming. At the time, the overarching narrative was that
society could ignore, even discard LGBTQ people—that our
lives weren’t worth saving or worth living.
This difficult reality brought together Pride Foundation’s
visionary founders, with the goal of creating a coordinated
way for people to invest in a brighter future. It was about our
community coming together to dream big and think outside the box—never saying that something can’t be done,
or won’t happen. And so, Pride Foundation opened our
doors, the first foundation in the Northwest with a focus
of supporting LGBTQ people and families.
While a large component of our work in those early
years was to address the immediacy of the AIDS crisis,
it was also about so much more. It was about directing
resources where they were needed and ensuring that
everyone in our community knew that their livelihood
and well-being mattered. For many of our early grantees,
it also marked the first time that an organization received
foundation support explicitly because of their work with
PRIDE FOUNDATION page 14
PRIDE FOUNDATION Continued from page 13
LGBTQ people and families.
Over the years, Pride Foundation’s work
adapted to best support the ever-evolving
opportunities and challenges facing our
community throughout the region. Looking across the Northwest, it is clear that the
lived experiences of LGBTQ individuals and
families vary dramatically.
We knew that in order to truly advance a
regional movement for equality, it was necessary to have full-time, permanent staff
on the ground in each of the states that are
a part of our community. That is why five
years ago, Pride Foundation made the bold
decision to expand our staff throughout
the region.
Not only did this help build relationships
with local communities, it also ensured that
we have a nuanced understanding of the
challenges and obstacles facing LGBTQ
people in each of the states in which we
invest.
Here in Oregon, this allowed us to
deepen our grant investments, create
stronger coalitions, and expand our connections to rural communities. For example, in Pride Foundation’s recent grant
cycle last fall, we increased our investment
in the state by more than 50% —awarding over $60,000 in grants to organizations serving Oregon’s LGBTQ communities. Pride Foundation also made one of
our largest grants of $10,000 to one of our
long-time Oregon grantees, TransActive
Gender Center.
We know that our work is contributing
to important change in Oregon for organizations like TransActive. At our grantee
celebration last year, TransActive’s Executive Director Jenn Burleton recalled that
one of the first grants they ever received
was from Pride Foundation. She noted that
this award was more than just funding for
them—it was confirmation that their work
was incredibly important.
In the past few years, Pride Foundation
has also increased our efforts to support
the variety of issues we know are impacting LGBTQ Oregonians. In 2014, we worked
with the Safe Roads Campaign to ensure
that all people have access to driver cards.
In collaboration with Basic Rights Oregon,
we collected over 30 endorsements for the
ballot measure from LGBTQ and allied
organizations. While the measure ultimately did not pass, the coalition building work will have a long-lasting impact on
future endeavors.
Through our grants and scholarship programs, Pride Foundation is strengthening
our connections in rural communities. Our
Regional Development Organizer in Oregon
and our team of leaders across the state are
on the ground, working to engage communities and develop a statewide network of
support. This work led to Pride Foundation
hosting an event in Springfield, Oregon last
December. It was an opportunity for grantees, supporters, and community members
to come together and celebrate the work of
our grantees in that part of the state, and
have more in-depth conversations with the
community about the various issues they
were facing.
In all that we do, Pride Foundation is
committed to ensuring that the progress
we make extends to everyone in our community. That is why we place an additional
emphasis on reducing the barriers faced
by LGBTQ youth, people of color, transgender people, elders, and those living in
rural areas.
For example, from 2008 to 2013, Pride
Foundation, with support from Funders for
LGBTQ Issues, established a Racial Equity
Initiative to address the funding inequities
that LGBTQ organizations ran by and for
people of color have historically faced and
to simultaneously increase their ability to
support their communities.
Seven organizations from Oregon, Washington, and Montana that serve people of
color were part of the cohort: Asian Pacific
Islander Pride (Portland, OR), Entre Hermanos (Seattle, WA), Montana Two Spirit
Society (Missoula, MT), Portland Latino
Gay Pride (Portland, OR), Trikone-NW
(Seattle, WA), Voices Rising (Seattle, WA),
and Umatilla Morrow Alternatives (Hermiston, OR).
Over the course of this five-year initiative, we were able to support these organizations in building their infrastructure and
leadership, while creating deep and lasting connections and relationships between
participants.
Since Pride Foundation was founded
three decades ago, our community has
made incredible progress. We have gotten
to t his point because LGBTQ people
across our region and the country have
insisted on being heard. We have stood up
in new and different ways—bravely telling our stories and elevating our shared
humanity.
And while we have much to celebrate
in this moment, we know that our work
is far from done. That is why Pride Foundation will continue responding to the
greatest needs in our community, while
also working to shape the future of our
movement.
We cannot stop hoping, dreaming,
working, and building the communities
we deserve. Places where students don’t
have to fear that they will be bullied by their
peers or teachers because of how they dress,
or present themselves. Where nobody can
be fired from their job, or evicted from
their home because of who they are. Where
people who need medically-necessary, lifesaving care don’t have to drive hundreds of
miles to see a doctor who will treat them
with compassion and care. Where nobody
has to wonder if they’ll get enough food
to eat, or where they will sleep. Where no
seniors are forced to go back in the closet
for fear of being mistreated.
Safe schools, workplace equality, healthcare access, food and housing security,
and elder care—these are the areas that
Pride Foundation will continue to invest
resources in the coming years. We have the
expertise and local knowledge to bridge the
gap between recent legal victories and real,
lived equality, for everyone in our community. Yet it will take each and every one of
us coming together to achieve this. If our
30 year history has shown us anything, it is
that we are stronger, better, and more effective together.
pqmonthly.com
The Elysian is an historic ballroom, the resplendent architectural centerpiece of the historic Pythian building in downtown Portland.
WEDDING VENDORS
weddings and do custom floral design with our own flowers and those of other local farmers out of our inner southeast PDX studio space. Their work is stellar—do a quick Google
search and see for yourself what all the buzz is about.
PARADISE ADULT VIDEO: You’re going to need fun adult-like goodies to accessories
your last gasps of singledom! Support the businesses that support us. Pipes, sexy toys,
sexier gifts — all manner of adult innovation. See also:
Taboo. Sexy toys, sexier lingerie, videos, gifts galore at Taboo Adult Video.
A BEAUTIFUL CEREMONY NW: It’s your wedding day, and you’ve invited the most
important people in your life to join your celebration. As you get busy with all the planning and details that go into making the day a joyful one, keep in mind that your wedding ceremony launches the festivities by drawing all of your family and friends into the
same unique moment in time. A well-crafted ceremony is not only your own unique way
of expressing your commitment to one another; it also brings your guests closer together
and sets the tone for your celebration.
As ordained non-denominational wedding officiants based in Portland, Oregon, Steve
Sharp or Leslie Sharp will work with you to create a custom ceremony from the heart that
will be a reflection of your story and an expression of your commitment to one another.
Whether you are planning on a casual backyard wedding or a formal celebration surrounded by hundreds of friends and family, they work with you to create a ceremony
that is based on your personal traditions and life experience.
PORTLAND SPIRIT: Who wouldn’t want to get married at sea? Imagine an exquisite
nighttime experience! A vibrant setting enhanced by dazzling city sights and city lights.
An evening filled to the brim with festive cuisine, locally sourced and prepared fresh on
board, entertainment, and live performances. For a party of two to a small group of friends
or co-workers, this is the ultimate Portland experience. You’ll be able to tell your children
that forever started on a boat.
BONNEVILLE HOT SPRINGS RESORT: Bonneville Hot Springs Resort & Spa - where luxury
lodging and amenities blend with the invigorating allure of nature. Escape to an enchanting
woodland realm dotted with picturesque towns and wineries, whitewater rapids, and endless
hiking trails. Relax and rejuvenate in soothing, therapeutic mineral waters. Situated in the
beautiful Columbia River Gorge, Bonneville Hot Springs Resort & Spa is the perfect place to
Find Yourself in Hot Water and the only destination resort spa in the Columbia River Gorge.
Need more information? Each retailer listed above has an ad listed in our pages.
Thumb through and find each one! This is meant to be an interactive list, dear readers.
--Compiled by PQ Monthly Staff
Exceptional, personalized,
comprehensive care for
your best friend.
1737 NE Alberta suite 102
Portland, OR 97211
Call: 503-20-7700
We are proud to welcome our new associate
Dr. Shavonne Corbet
pqmonthly.com
ALBERTAVETCARE.COM
WEDDINGS
YES WE CANNABIS: WEED WEDDINGS (OR CANNAWEDDINGS)
By Trista Okel, PQ Monthly
coordinated two cannabis-themed weddings and has three
more on the books. She is excited about an upcoming Alice
in Wonderland-themed wedding where they will be enjoying completely legal terpene* vaporizers.
How does that work? Couples purchase the cannabis themselves from legal cannabis retail stores in Colorado, providing the products and receipts to the wedding
planner, and she handles the rest. Bec offers couples special touches to their wedding experience, like customized
glass pieces (bongs and pipes commemorating their special occasion) and booking bridal dress appointments at
I love love; and I love cannabis. So penning PQ Monthly’s debut cannabis column in the wedding issue is the perfect marriage of my two favorite things.
In Denver, Colorado, they are doing just that, merging
weddings and weed. In the weed world, it didn’t take long
for folks to coin the term weedings for our emerging cannabis-friendly wedding industry. Weeding? Really? Is that
a study in yard work? I’ve been a cannabis advocate and
connoisseur for over 20 years, and I’m passionate about
changing the face of “weed.”
This week I spoke with Jane West,
of Edible Events Co. in Denver, Colorado, who is also passionate about
shifting our social consciousness
about cannabis towards one of normalization and inclusion. I could
not think of a more apt person to
call to learn more about planning
a cannabis-friendly wedding (www.
edibleeventsco.com). Jane has over
20 years of experience in corporate and non-governmental organization event planning and has
made it her company’s mission
to “maximize the cannabis experience and stimulate your heightened awareness of taste, smell,
sights & sounds via artfully choreographed events.”
Jane further legitimizes cannabis by accessing the arts. Recently,
she contracted with a local artist
who carved, with a laser, an ice
Photo courtesy of Buds & Blossoms in Denver, Colorado. www.budsandblossomsco.com
sculpture of a functional bong for
party guests to enjoy long into the night, much like an ice shops with hemp and other natural fiber clothluge for shots of liquor. The artist’s craftsmanship and Jane’s ing available. From “Budonnieres” and “Buds in
creative approach to providing a cannabis-friendly experi- Bouquets” which are meant to go “straight from
ence for guests raises the bar in event planning.
bouquet to bowl,” to cannabis infused cocktails,
For Jane, the focus isn’t so much on the cannabis theme if it’s possible and legal, a skilled cannabis wedof an event as much as it is about normalizing cannabis as ding planner like Bec will find a way to meet your
an option for guests at functions. Jane notes, “As the end of cannabis wedding needs.
prohibition occurs nationwide, cannabis will be an offered
In Portland, Pamela “PJ” Ott of Destination
substance of choice in the same way alcohol is offered at Weddings, (www.destinationweddings.com) is
weddings and events.” Offering cannabis in a traditional 14stories/Gay Wedding Institute certified and
setting such as a wedding is exactly what we need to change excited to offer cannabis-themed weddings locally after
the face of marijuana.
the law is in effect on July 1. She is also very skilled in findBec Koop of Cannabis Concierge Events (cannabiscon- ing the perfect locale for your dream wedding.
ciergeevents.com) also advocates for the normalization of
Many venues do not allow cannabis smoking on their
cannabis at special events. She has been planning canna- property, so sometimes a higher level of creativity is needed
bis-themed happenings since January 2014. Bec recently to accommodate your wedding plans. Vaporizer stations,
a limo parked outside the event as a “smoking lounge,”
and cannabis-infused tasty treats are all options to allow
you and your guests a way to use cannabis without being
thrown out of your booked-years-in-advance ideal wedding venue on the big day. Cannabis infused food is the
most discreet and trickiest of those options.
In serving cannabis edibles at your wedding, safety and
etiquette should be a priority to keep your guests happy
and to avoid offending your soon-to-be spouse’s relatives.
Nobody wants to be the person responsible for Aunt Gladys’
trip to the Emergency Room due to a panic attack from
eating too many of those “delicious little gummy
candies that didn’t taste like marijuana.”
Clearly label all cannabis infused products with
the dosage and effects. It’s also a smart move to
serve plenty of non-infused, decadent dishes and
desserts for those who don’t want to partake in the
ganja food and for those who are already pleasantly high.
Alison Draisin of Ettalew’s Medibles in Seattle (www.ettalews.com) cautions, “Dosage is very
important when preparing edibles for a party. Keep
it below 10 mg per serving to prevent guests from
getting too sleepy. Also, have antidotes on hand
if guests get uncomfortably high. Such antidotes
include citrus drinks, pistachios, and pine nuts.”
Who knew that a handful of nuts could help
bring you back down from an unpleasant high?
Alcohol doesn’t have a food antidote. Just sayin’.
Potential markets are opening wide to the new
age of cannabis, and with legalization comes innovation. Where tequila bars have
reigned most popular at weddings and other events, infused
dessert bars have moved in.
They can take the place of
wedding cakes, offering guests
everything from traditional pot
brownies to sea salt sprinkled
infused caramels and kief-laden
ice cream. Personally, I long for
a cannabis infused cupcake
cake, a vaporizer station, and
super styling hemp clothing at
my imaginary, ideal future wedding. Consider including cannabis in your wedding plans not just for fun, but as an educational tool and social statement as well!
*Terpenes are the essential oils of cannabis and today, are
rapidly gaining recognition as having a crucial role in the
therapeutic use of cannabis.
pqmonthly.com
Wedding Outtakes
WEDDINGS
FEATURES
As has become customary at
PQ Monthly, our Wedding Edition
boasts exquisite queer marriage fare.
Lots of hard work goes into these
shoots, and we’re thrilled about the
results. Cover outtakes and credits:
Photography by Eric Sellers
Styling by Michael Shaw Talley
Clothing provided by
Red Light Vintage Clothing
Jewelry provided by
Michael Shaw Talley
Wedding dresses provided by
Madeline Mahrie
Studio space provided by
Bloke Floral Studio
Models recruited by Eric Sellers and
Michael Shaw Talley
pqmonthly.com
GET OUT
FEATURES
1
THURSDAY, APRIL 16
PQ Monthly Press Party—mix and
mingle with the makers
of your queer newsmagazine. Rub elbows with
a wildly diverse crowd.
(And hit up Polari afterward.) This month’s
shindig is at Elysian!
As always, 5pm. (And
mark your calendars—
every third Thursday
at rotating venues.) In
this very fancy edition
of PQ’s Press Party, we
are celebrating wedWe have an extra week
dings! And who better
between print dates, lovelies
to host us than the Ely(meaning more ground to
sian Ballroom? This
cover)—so please check
online for the latest and place will make you feel
greatest May events! www. like you’ve stepped into
pqmonthly.com, and look Downton Abbey. Except
for your Weekend Forecast. for half the people will be wearing golf
--DANIEL BORGEN shorts and have manly beards, because
Portland. Entertaining us on this fine eve:
Max Voltage is a classically trained violinist and loop-pedal composer,
available to play for your wedding or special event. Classical, Jazz,
Pop, Folk, Rock; Max can cover any genre with innovative loops that
create the sound of an entire string quartet! More info (plus music &
video samples) at www.maxvoltagepdx.com or [email protected] for details and pricing—libations and hors d’oeuvres
will be served. 5pm-7pm-ish, 918 SW Yamhill.
GET
OUT!
FRIDAY, APRIL 17
BLOWPONY! Bearracuda Worldwide and Local Queen prezent performances by: CHRISTEENE featuring T GRAVEL & C-BABY & ROTTIES. With deejays AIRICK X*, STORMY ROXX, & SAPPHO! Entry into
this Hole: *AUSTIN DARLING*. Invite photo by Austin Young, Invite
Design by Ian O’Phelan. 8pm, Branx, 320 SE 2nd Ave. $10. www.
christeenemusic.com; www.blowpony.com.
Peep Show may have gone dark in March, but that’s just so they
could take the time to bring her back in April bigger, better, and full
2
DANCE
IT OUT
EVERY SUNDAY
Superstar Divas. Bolivia Carmichaels,
Honey Bea Hart, Topaz Crawford, Isaiah
Tillman, and guest stars perform your
favorite pop, Broadway,
R&B, rock, and country
hits. Dance floor opens
after the show. The Drag
Queen Hunger Games
are over, and the shows
must go on! Check out
the newest and freshest Diva hits. 8pm, CC
Slaughters, 219 NW
Davis. Free!
EVERY MONDAY
Family Home Evening. A weekly,
post-work lounge party
every Monday night at
Vault, featuring DJ Orographic (Bridge
Club, Queerlandia) and
occasional special guests
(Sappho fills in now and
then). Jens Irish serves
you happy hour all the live long night.
7pm-11pm, Vault, 226 NW Twelfth.
of more life than ever before on Friday nights: yes, that’s right, they
will now be having Peep Show on the 3rd Friday of every month. So
gather yourselves at Portland’s craziest variety show. The place where
“anything goes” still rings true. Prepare to be dazzled and horrified by our tantalizing combination of
Portland’s trashiest and classiest all mixed together
into an epic melting pot of sights, sounds, smells,
(and if you’re reeeeally lucky tastes and touches)
of sinful sensuality. Plus join us for the “SLEAZE”
dance party after the show with amazing music
by Portland’s hottest new DJ, Jackal - Jack Freeman. Hosted by the fabulously insane Artemis
Chase. 9pm, Analog Café, 720 SE Hawthorne.
$7GA/$10Seated/$20VIP. Featuring Carla Rossi
and many more!
SATURDAY, APRIL 18
Marine Drive, Astoria. www.shortyshortsfilmfest.com.
SUNDAY, APRIL 19
Naked Trivia...clothing optional. Play in your underwear for bo
points or stay dressed and be a fly on the wall. The winning te
takes home
$25 UnderU4Men gift cards
and you could
walk out with
some great raffle
prizes. Only $10
a team. Trivia
Theme: The
‘D’. Dinosaurs,
Disney, Drag, and Drive-Thru! Benefits AIDS Walk Portland. Hos
by Summer Seasons and Andrew Shayde. 6pm, Scandals, 11
SW Stark.
Shorty Shorts is excited to once again take their
festival to Astoria. Shorty Shorts has been going on MONDAY, APRIL 20
for five years strong here in Portland and this will The days are getting longer! And it’s still an excellent time to get y
be year two at the gorgeous coast. The past year active socializing on. Gay Skate is a joy. Meet queers and min
with them outside the bar setting — maybe your
April 17th has been super exciting for Shorty shorts as they
traveled to Seattle for
dream lover will ask you to hold hands during couthe first time, and they also got invited to
ples’ skate. And there are themes now! Themes!
play at one of the largest queer art festivals
(Check online for the latest—this edition will be
in the country in Austin Texas. This year is
particularly unicorn-y.) Come dressed to impress
filling up fast and Shorty Shorts is thrilled
and wine beautiful prizes, and look for our pubits first stop is Astoria. They will be bringing
lisher, who’s always handing out copies of PQ. And,
the town the full, unedited version of this
you know, you’ll probably get a date. Every third
past year’s festival. There are amazing films
Monday. Food drive for Take Action Inc. 7pm, Oaks
from artist all over the world. Even some
Park, 7805 SE Oaks Park Way. $6.
pretty famous peeps and a porn star or two.
WEDNESDAY, APRIL 22
Hosted by Gula Delgatto along with Shorty
Queens of the Night. Get it together, it’s time to
Shorts Production Director Michael Shaw
celebrate Alexis Campbell Starr: The night that
Talley, and very special guest Shitney HousPortland needs, a true hip-hop dance party. She’s
ton. Maybe even a super special appeartalking hip-hop from beginning to end: and while she’s at it,
ance by the one and only Daylight Cums
also has the hottest performers in the NW entertaining you. H
(Marco Davis), a frequent PQ contributor.
Alexis Campbell Starr, Isaiah Esquire, Jayla Rose Sullivan, Kou
Showtime: 10pm, doors at 9:30pm, cover
April 18th Capree, CJ Mickens, Valerie DeVille, Miss Sweetheart Kimber Sh
$6.00. Cocktails with the queens after the
show at the Voodoo Room. (Maybe even a drag number or two or three AKA Henry Felton, and that’s just to name a few. Ms. Starr would lik
if Shitney Houston gets her gogo juice!) Columbian Theater, 11th and see you there, and she’d like to remind you there will be drink spec
throughout the night. $5 cover, 21+. Local Lounge, 3536 NE M
FIRST THURSDAYS
Hip Hop Heaven. Bolivia Carmichaels hosts this hip-hop-heavy
soiree night every Thursday night at CCs. Midnight guest performers
and shows. Remember those midnight shows at The City? Bolivia does!
9pm, CC Slaughters, 219 NW Davis. Free.
FIRST SATURDAYS
Sugar Town. DJ Action Slacks. Keywords: Soul, polyester. Great place to
find the ladies, to mingle, to get your
groove on. 9pm, The Spare Room,
4830 NE 42. $5.
SECOND TUESDAYS
Bi Bar—every second Tuesday at
First Saturday Crush, and it’s an open, bi-affirming
space for music and mingling. Correction: Bi/Pan/Fluid/Queer. 8pm, Crush,
1400 SE Morrison.
SECOND FRIDAYS
Slo Jams is a Queer Modern R&B &
Neo Soul Dance Night at Local Lounge. DJ II TRILL
(TWERK) and DJ MEXXX-TAPE lay down everything
from Mary J // Jagged Edge// Keyshia to Badu//Lauryn Etc. 10pm,
Local Lounge, 3536 NE MLK. $5.
SECOND SATURDAYS
Hot Flash: Inferno. (Second and Fourth Saturdays) In the
heart of Portland is where the women are—dancing the night away
and burning up dance floors the second and fourth Saturdays
every month at Trio. Welcoming all women, queers, and their al
6pm-10pm, Trio, 909 E. Burnside.
Mrs.: The queen of theme welcomes its new hostess, Kaj-A
Pepper! OK, she’s not new anymore. But we love her so. And dyna
DJ duo: Beyondadoubt and Ill
Camino. Costumes, photo booths,
all the hits. Lots of ladies, very
queer. 10pm, Mississippi Studios,
3939 N. Mississippi. $5.
THIRD WEDNESDAYS
Comedy at Crush: Our own
Belinda Carroll and a slew of
locals rustle up some funny. Special guests, and Crush’s signature
cocktail and food menus. Donations, sliding scale. (Comics have
to eat and drink, too, so give!)
9pm, Crush, 1400 SE Morrison.
THIRD THURSDAYS
Polari. Troll in for buvare. Back-in-t
day language, music, and elegance.
ease-you-into-the-weekend mixer. Bridge Club boys make the mu
Bridge and tunnel patrons have no idea what to do with us when
pour in. Hint: it’s always the Thursday we go to press. What serend
itous fortune! 10pm, Vault, 226 NW 12. Free.
THIRD SATURDAYS
pqmonthly.com
onus
eam
sted
125
your
ngle
she
Host:
urtni
hade
ke to
cials
MLK.
s of
llies.
Anne
amic
the. An
usic.
n we
dip-
THURSDAY, APRIL 23
HRC Gala Portland Kick-Off Event: You would be hard-pressed
to find a stadium with as much character as Providence Park. With the
original crescent-shaped grandstand and nearly all of the sides covered by a beautiful wooden roof, this park is truly a gem
in Portland and the generous sponsor of the HRC Portland
Summer Gala Kick-Off Party. Join HRC on April 23rd for
this unique opportunity to get a close up view of this historical property without all the shenanigans of the beloved
Timbers Army. HRC will be offering behind the scenes
tours, some light snacks and a small
token of their appreciation of your support of HRC. Be the first to hear about
May 7th
all the exciting opportunities this year’s
Gala holds. Mark your calendars! 7pm, Providence
Park, 1844 SW Morrison.
WEDNESDAY, APRIL 29
cation, women’s health, sports and more. These women represent
the courage, commitment, and innovative thinking of all the remarkable people who work on the front lines of social change. We celebrate their extraordinary vision and courageous work, these women are
improving the lives of all people in our community. Honorees: Governor
Kate Brown, Antoinette Edwards, Office of Youth Violence Prevention,
City of Portland and Laura Calvo, Democratic Party of Oregon. http://
portland.strangertickets.com/events/23314400/women-who-leadluncheon-2015. 11:30am-1:00pm, The Nines, 525 SW Morrison.
SATURDAY, MAY 9
Samuel Thomas keeps reeling in the talent, and you keep partying: LOCAL QUEEN Presents: Queer Prom w/ Joslyn Fox
(RuPaul’s Drag Race). Hosted by Sheniqua Volt, with performances by The House of Volt, Artemis Chase, Aphasia, & More
TBA. Beats by Jackal, visuals by EXPOSURE. Dress your best
for the PROM PHOTOBOOTH by Digital Reality Event Photography. Rotture, 315 SE Third. $8 advance, $10 at the door.
http://holdmyticket.com/event/189659
TransActive Gender Center provides a holistic
range of services and expertise to empower transTHURSDAY, MAY 17 THROUGH SUNDAY,
gender and gender diverse children, youth and their
MAY 17
families in living healthy lives,
QDoc is the only festival in the U.S. devoted exclusively to Lesfree of discrimination.They
April 22nd bian Gay Bisexual Transgender (LGBT) documentaries. Docare raising funds in order
umentaries offer a unique vehicle to creatively engage core
to be able to provide services for more fami- issues of queer identity – politics, history, culture, diversity, sexuality,
lies, as the demand has increased exponentially. family, aging, and coming-out issues. Documentary as a form of expresWhile they are based in Portland, they also aim sion is as vital and energetic as it has ever been, and QDoc brings the
to provide counseling, advocacy and education highest caliber of films – and their makers – to share with Portland
to individuals and families who reside in rural audiences. “We firmly
areas where services are non-existent. Come believe that our stoout and meet the TransActive staff and enjoy the ries need to be told,
mixed cabaret show featuring music from Galynne our youth deserve to
Davis and Nikole Potulsky, along with some of know the richness of
Portland’s favorite performance personalities. $10 our culture and history,
April 19th suggested donation, no one turned away for lack
our seniors deserve
of funds. For more info, check out their website to be praised for their
at: www.transactiveonline.org. If you are not able to attend, please con- work and struggles on
May 14th
sider making a donation here: https://www.transactiveonline.org/sup- our behalf, and people
port/donate.php. 6pm, Crush, 1400 SE Morrison.
need to be informed
THURSDAY, MAY 7
of the struggle for equality around the world” – Les Lewis and Rick
Women Who Lead Luncheon celebrates women who are making Watkins, QDoc supporters (See our story, page 6, and visit http://
a difference—leaders who have changed the face of business, edu- www.queerdocfest.org/.)
Burlescape! Burlesque & boylesque wrapped in a taste of tease! Zora
Phoenix, Isaiah Esquire, Tod Alan. (And there’s more than that, kids.)
Zora is a treat and a treasure—and so are her shows. Try one out!
9pm, Crush, 1400 SE Morrison. $10.
Gaycation: DJ Charming always welcomes special guests—and here
you’ll find everything lesbian, gay, and in between.
Be early so you can actually get a drink. Sweaty
deliciousness, hottest
babes. THE party. Yes,
boys, even you can hit on
Mr. Charming. We know
you want to. 9pm, Holocene, 1001 SE Morrison.
$5.
Undergear: Eagle Portland’s monthly underwear, jock, mankini, etc.,
fetish party every third Saturday.
Free if you arrive before 9pm or if you use free clothes check upon
entry after. After 9pm arrivals who do not check clothes must pay $5
entry. Clothes check and raffle prize provided by Cub Cleaners.
FOURTH FRIDAYS
Twerk. DJs ILL Camino and II Trill. Keywords: bring your twerk. The
city’s longest-running queer hip hop/R&B party--where artists, deejays, performers come to mix, mingle, and move on the dance floor.
pqmonthly.com
Established fun, all night long. 9pm, Local Lounge, 3536 NE MLK. $5.
FOURTH SATURDAYS
Blow Pony. Two giant floors. Wide variety of music, plenty of room for
dancing. Rowdy, crowdy, sweaty betty, the one tried and true, even after
all these years. 9pm, Rotture/Branx, 315 SE 3. $5.
Judy on Duty. Lesbian
hardcore. Judys, Judes,
and cool ass freaks.
Dance it out. DJ Troubled Youth. Organized
by Ana Margarita and
Megan Holmes. 10pm,
High Mark Water Lounge,
6800 NE MLK.
LAST SUNDAYS
Sabbathhause Discotheque, gay night
is back at Aalto lounge
and it is bigger and
more queer than ever
before. Featuring some
of the best deejays and
performers around and
hosted by night hawk
Chanticleer Tru. 8pm,
Aalto Lounge, 3356 SE
Belmont.
3
PERS{ECTOVES
SUNDAY, APRIL 19
We borrowed these words
from the event page. (Thanks,
Poison!) “The return of the
Poison Waters & Friends
Sunday Brunch Show and
Film at McMenamins Pubs,
Breweries & Historic Hotels
Kennedy School is happening Sunday April 19th! 21
years and older, $21 includes
brunch, show featuring Poison,
and her cast, Rose Empress
56 Ambrosia Mychaul
Flescher, Princess Onyx Valentine, La Femme PLus International Priscilla Blackstone Maurice
Hines, and Poison is happy to make
it official, her CO-HOSTESS for the
Poison Waters and Friends Shows,
Miss NW Fierce 2015 Kourtni
Capree, and then of course the film,
“Sex and the City.” 10:30am doors, 11am-12:30pm
brunch buffet and show followed by film. (Of course the
full bar featuring bottomless mimosas will be available at
additional charge.) Get your tickets now, ahead of time.
5736 NE 33rd, Portland.
PQ
PICKS
THURSDAY, APRIL 23: The Business Lead-
ers Luncheon is where Oregon businesses and corporate
opinion leaders take a public stand for fairness and equality.
The annual event brings
together 500+ business
executives, community
leaders and elected officials to consider the state
of equality in Oregon and promote fairness in the workplace
and under the law. The program includes a keynote speaker
and recognition for outstanding leadership for gay and transgender equality. 2015 will be a big year for Basic Rights as
we launch our new 5-year strategic plan to support lived
equality for LGBT individuals outside of Portland, LGBT youth
and LGBT seniors. Oregonians Against Discrimination, Business Leaders Luncheon, Thursday, April 23, 2015, Portland
Ballroom, Oregon Convention Center. Schedule of Events:
Registration – 11:30am, Luncheon Program – 12 noon,
Tickets: $100 each, your ticket purchase is tax deductible.
https://bro.ejoinme.org/?tabid=573362.
SATURDAY, APRIL 25: Queer Heavy Metal
Strip Club. All of your favorite things in one place? Queer
people, heavy metal, and nudity? One night only? You
want it? Dancers: Zak the Barber, Dash Lopez, C Darling, Dicky Pete, House of Coco, Lexy, Lissy, Cinnamon Maxine, Special
Guest, special guests,
deejays: Roy G Biv and
Jodi Bon Jodi. Door/
stage lube: Aaron
Boeke. $10. Don’t be
a jerk and argue about it. These people are going to be
nude and deserve money for doing it, OK? Get your
freak number right. Bring bills to throw down. Get wet.
9pm, 3416 N Lombard. The party: is $10 and doors
at 9pm. This charge is so they can pay their artists, dj’s,
organizers, and photographers a living and sustainable
wage for their art. Ground rules: This is a strip club not
a sex party so be cool and don’t touch the dancers. Be
cool and nice to your dancers. Tip heavily and tip often
the normal etiquette is $1/per song. No photography.
FEATURE
NIGHTLIFE
“THE BRANDON ARCHIVE”
Revisiting Brandon Teena’s Brave Life & Tragic Death
By Leela Ginelle, PQ Monthly
bic and classist, these “true crime” accounts, which ran
in high profile publications, such as “The New Yorker,”
Following his 1993 murder in tiny Humblodt, NE, Bran- “The Village Voice,” and “Playboy,” sensationalized the
don Teena’s story was told again and again by journalists and story and its subject’s tragic death, while “other”-izing
filmmakers attempting to make sense of his transgender exis- everyone involved.
tence, for which most of them lacked any frame of reference.
The trial of Teena’s assailants took place in 1995. John Lotter
Surveying those
and Tom Nissen had
materials today — a
raped Teena on Christbody of work author
mas Eve of 1993, a hate
and academic Jack
crime motivated by
Halberstam, in his
the deceased’s gender
book “In a Queer Time
identity. When Teena
and Place,” terms “the
reported the crime he
Brandon Archives”
was harassed at length
— one is struck by its
by Falls City’s sheriff
subject’s unshakable
Charles Laux (infurisense of self. Over
ating audio from their
and over his gender
exchange can be heard
identity was rejected:
in the documentary
by his mother JoAnn,
“The Brandon Teena
by the army, in which
Story”).
he attempted to
Laux did not quesenlist as male at 18,
tion or arrest Teena’s
by his school, which
assailants. Instead he
expelled him, and
informed them of the
by the hospital that
latter’s accusations,
diagnosed him with
an act that precipia “sexual identity Anchored by Hillary Swank’s still-astonishing, Oscar-winning performance, “Boys Don’t Cry” catapulted Teena’s tated the New Year’s
story into mainstream awareness, where it was met with compassion, if little understanding. Eve murder, which
crisis” the year prior
to his death. Despite
occurred in the Humthese unending refutations, he asserted his maledom, and boldt barn where Teena had sought shelter.
pursued the romances with women that so clearly aniThe Transsexual Menace, a direct action advocacy group,
mated his ambitions.
staged a demonstration at the trial to draw attention to the
The Brandon Archive today serves as both a Rorschach scourge of violence faced by trans people. Among the demand a time capsule. The same story is told in it again and onstrators were authors Kate Bornstein, Leslie Feinberg,
again: Teena’s move from Lincoln to Falls City (I will refer and Riki Wilchins, the latter of whom wrote of the expeto Brandon Teena by his last name), the romances and rience, “By mid-afternoon, the local Neo-Nazis and skinfriendships he formed, the arrest for check forging, through heads were circling the block, spitting out their windows
which his birth assignment became known, and his rape at us, trying to sideswipe us, and giving ‘Seig Heil’ salutes.
and eventual murder. Over this outline is lain the ignorance, Eventually the police had to step in to protect us. Such is
prejudice, and transphobia of the time.
the climate of violence and hate in which we as transpeople
In his book “Disciplining Gender,” author John Sloop live, even when simply trying to mourn our dead.”
enumerates the trends one finds in these accounts: that
The Menace convened in New York, as well, to protest
Brandon Teena was a “deceiver,” that his rural girlfriends the “The Village Voice’s” coverage of the murder. In the
were too naive to know he was not “actually” a man, and Voice article, “Love Hurts: Brand on Teena was a Woman
that his killers, in their ignorance and hate, were emblem- Who Lived and Loved as a Man: She was Killed for Carrying
atic of small town, mid-western homophobia. Transpho- It Off,” lesbian writer Donna Mankowitz presented Teena as
a confused, self-loathing lesbian who adopted a male identity to cope with her homophobia. Such was the lack of trans
awareness and social capital at the time that the Transsexual Menace’s protest was met by a simple restatement of
her thesis and brush off in a follow-up piece by Minkowitz.
Reporting of this type was typical. As Sloop writes in his
book, “Most stories prior to the release of ‘Boys Don’t Cry’
represent Brandon as a ‘real’ woman who was intentionally posing as a man in order to fool others.” An example
of this is seen in Eric Konigsberg’s lengthy Playboy piece,
where he wrote, “Posing as a man got Teena Brandon what
she couldn’t get as a woman — adoring girlfriends and a
fiancee. It also got her killed.”
It’s not until the 1998 documentary “The Brandon Teena
Story” that the archive begins to reveal Teena’s genuine
personality. Through interviews with the young women he
dated and friends he’d confided in, a picture emerges of a
gregarious, hopeless romantic, with the bad habit of funding courtships via forged checks.
The film also displays an identity somewhat in flux,
as different interviewees refer to Teena by different male
names, revealing how what Halberstam describes as,
“The political complexities of an activism sparked by
murder and energized by the work of memorializing individuals” helped fix an image that, itself, may not yet have
been fully in focus.
1999 saw the release of the feature film “Boys Don’t Cry.”
Anchored by Hillary Swank’s still-astonishing, Oscar-winning performance, the movie catapulted Teena’s story into
mainstream awareness, where it was met with compassion,
if little understanding.
In a featurette made at the time of its release, director
Kimberly Pierce misgenders Teena, as his mother and sister
do throughout “The Brandon Teena Story.” Teena’s grave
still bears his birth name.
Teena’s death sparked widespread interest. Unlike Matthew Shepard’s, however, which occurred a year prior to
the release of “Boys Don’t Cry,” it took place in a world with
scant awareness of, or respect for, his identity. The expulsion of trans people from the LGBT rights movement they
helped found by post-Stonewall activists, left their advocacy decades behind that of LGB people.
To plunge into the Brandon Archive is to encounter
all manner of hate, violence and ignorance. At its heart,
though, one finds a young man of preternatural self-understanding and belief; a young man who spent his too few
years loving and being loved as his true self.
pqmonthly.com
FEATURE
CALENDAR
FEATURE
KNOW YOUR RIGHTS: TRANS PEOPLE QUIETLY
GAIN WIDESPREAD FEDERAL PROTECTIONS
The Departments of Education and Justice have interceded in multiple cases in
Over the past ten years, quietly, trans which trans students have filed discrimpeople have been securing Federal rights ination suits against school districts. In
in employment, education, health care and these cases, the federal agencies have conhousing. Some of these have come in the vinced districts to work with consultants
form of guidance from the Obama adminis- to acquire competency in affirming their
tration, and some from favorable court rul- trans students’ identities and adopt thorings; taken together they’ve created a land- ough anti-discrimination policies ensuring
scape where discrimination on the basis of such behavior would not repeat.
gender identity has gone, in a short period,
Though the laws interpreted in these
from unquestioned to illegal.
cases do not explicitly bar discrimination
Because of Congress’s conservative tenor against trans people, Transgender Law
and partisan gridlock, LGBTQ Civil Rights leg- Center Staff Attorney Matt Wood says he
islation has long seemed unattainable. For expects the protections they now offer to
that reason, gains in transgender rights have remain in place, even under an administraarrived bit by bit through the interpretations tion less favorable to trans rights. “It would
of existing Civil Rights laws.
be surprising if agency deciIn employment, this
sions were rolled back withhas come through Title VII
out a reason,” Wood says. “It
of the Civil Rights Act of
would be unpopular to take
1964, which makes it illegal
away rights that are existing
to discriminate “because
simply out of malice.”
of sex.” A series of favorThere is no current housable rulings, beginning
ing or accommodation law
with Smith v. City of Salem
at the Federal level protect(2004) and culminating trans people from dising with Glenn v. Brumby
crimination. The Depart(2011) have resulted in
ment of Housing and Urban
what the justices in the
Development (HUD), howGlenn ruling described as
ever, has issued guidance
In schools, it’s Title IX of the U.S. Education around trans people proa “near total uniformity”
Amendments of 1972 that’s been interpreted as tecting them is spaces assoof judicial belief that Title
protecting trans students’ rights. ciated with the agency. In
VII forbids discrimination
based on transgender identity. March of 2012, for instance, they published
The landmark case in this area is the 2012’s rules guaranteeing equal access to HUD
Macy v. Holder, in which the Equal Employ- housing regardless of sexual orientation or
ment Opportunity Commission (EEOC) ruled gender identity.
unequivocally that discrimination against
In February of this year the department
trans people in the area of employment vio- issued guidance about homeless shelters,
lates Federal law, meaning anyone facing barring that facilities that receive HUD
such treatment can bring their case to the funding and lenders working with the FHA’s
EEOC for redress. This is vital as, currently, mortgage insurance program from “inquironly 19 states have employment non-dising about (an individual’s) sexual orientacrimination laws protecting trans people.
tion or gender identity to determine eligibilIn August 2014, the Obama administra- ity for HUD-assisted or HUD-insured houstion reinforced this policy with an Execu- ing.” This is vital, as trans people, due to
tive Order barring discrimination on the societal discrimination, experience homebasis of gender identity on the part of busi- lessness at greater rates than cis people, and
nesses contracting with the Federal gov- have a well-documented history of encounernment, stating, “Our workforce and our tering discrimination at shelters.
entire economy are strongest when we
Trans people recently won a huge vicembrace diversity to its fullest, and that tory when a judge in Minnesota ruled that
means opening doors of opportunity to the Affordable Care Act (ACA), also known
everyone and recognizing that the Ameri- as Obamacare, bars health care providers
can Dream excludes no one.” To aid busi- from discriminating against patients on the
nesses the Department of Labor created an basis of gender identity. In a case brought
extensive resource page concerning trans by a trans man who was misgendered and
identities and Civil Rights protections.
ridiculed during an emergency room visit,
In schools, it’s Title IX of the U.S. Edu- the defendants attempted to have the suit
cation Amendments of 1972 that’s been thrown out, arguing the law did not protect
interpreted as protecting trans students’ trans identities. Reviewing the ACA, howrights. The Department of Education first ever, the court ruled it does, ensuring trans
presented this non-discrimination protec- rights in health care settings.
tion in a “Dear Colleague” letter to schools
Thanks to the hard work of advocates
in 2010, and has clarified it several times and professionals, and the bravery of trans
since, issuing its strongest language in 2014, people challenging discrimination, gender
writing that schools “must treat transgender identity rights are protected now in many
students consistent with their gender iden- areas of public life, a state Wood predicts
tity in all aspects of the planning, imple- will persist. “Barring some extraordinary
mentation, enrollment, operation, and Supreme Court case,” he says, “I expect
evaluation of single-sex classes.”
these protections to continue.”
pqmonthly.com
NIGHTLIFE
VOICES
ID CHECK
The Horrors Denial Permits
Our culture practices an unspoken agreement that what happens in people’s homes
is their business. This agreement, unfortunately, results in huge numbers of perpetrators and survivors — mammoth amounts of
domestic abuse, sexual assault, torture, etc.
Domestic privacy, theoretically, is value
neutral. Humans, though, are violent creatures, in a way our society hasn’t begun to
acknowledge. A look at American television shows and movies reveals people who
thwart violent crime in public, while enjoying tranquility at home — entertainment
told almost always from a male perspective.
For a starkly different view of things, one
can examine abuse statistics, which reveal
our society to be a gauntlet for girls, 20%
of whom experience sexual assault during
childhood. Males fare somewhat better,
with 5 to 10% reporting childhood sexual
abuse. Seventy five percent of these survivors are victimized by someone they know.
College, as we’re now learning, is a
continuation of this trend, as one in four
women — assuming statistics are not
underreported — is sexually assaulted while
attending post-secondary school.
Numbers like these are horrifying, as
are studies like that which emerged from
the University of North Dakota last year,
in which nearly one in three male students
responded that, if they knew they would not
be caught, they would act on “intentions to
rape a woman.”
We talk often about equality in our culture. Politicians and commentators debate
the pay wage gap and the lack of female representation in executive positions, as well as
prestige fields, like finance and tech. I can’t
help think, though, that these talks pale in
importance to those we should be having
nonstop about the prevalence of rape we
collectively ignore.
When I began to recall the sexual abuse
I’d suffered, then repressed, when young, I
talked about it with friends. In doing so, I
learned nearly every female I knew had been
raped in high school or college. None had
prosecuted their assailants, just as I hadn’t.
Each of us had coped as best we could, in a
culture that denied such events occurred.
Perhaps because I actively grieve my
sexual assault experiences, I’m sensitive to
messages about rape in our culture. When
a comedy makes a reference to prison rape,
therefore, I find it not funny, as is apparently
intended, but pathological. All of us assume
rape is endemic in male prisons, and our
response is to uncomfortably laugh.
What do we assume about young adulthood? A recent trial in Tennessee revealed
three Vanderbilt football players carried an
u nconsciou s you ng
woman into a dorm
room and violently
raped her, before dragging her back into the hall. The assault
only came to light when campus security
reviewed video footage from a dorm hallway camera upon investigating a vandalism
complaint, and then pieced together events
from the football players’ phones.
These are not the stories we tell about
intimacy, romance or private lives. We
create thrillers about dangerous strangers
who need to be caught, and horror movies
about forces invading our homes and
bodies. We seem not to have the capacity
or will to talk about family members or partners who violate the ones they’re closest to.
By not creating that space, we force survivors to live in shame and secrecy, a circumstance that often leads to addiction and/or
self-harm. Likewise, we affirm to perpetrators that what they’re doing, while theoretically wrong, is both permissible and invisible.
At the football players’ trial in Tennessee, the victim, who was a defendant’s girlfriend at the time, testified she had no
memory of the assault. The jury saw the
phone videos — of a defendant passing out
condoms, playing pornography of the computer, instructing the others about what to
do with her incapacitated body.
Sometimes I think we, as humans, have
no idea who we are. I have memories of
things that happened to me that would be
unwelcome in any but the most therapeutic
setting. I’ve pledged to myself not to bury
or deny them, though.
In seeking out abuse statistics, and following crime stories, I can construct a
shadow world, one not normally acknowledged, in which my experience is not isolated, but terrifyingly typical.
It’s self-evidently unhealthy to preserve
a privacy that permits sexual assault, an
arrangement that allows one in five girls
and one in four female college students to
be violated with virtual impunity. A system
like this, which, rather than assuring women
enjoy physical security, provides cover to
those who would rob them of it, often those
with whom they’re most intimate.
I’ve spent years wondering what the
basic experience of being would feel like
had I never been physically and sexually
assaulted. Love making, daydreaming, navigating my day and drifting to sleep — all
aspects were colored by brutality. I’m glad
to purge the trauma, because I detest those
who committed it, and the denial that gives
them, and every perpetrator, cover.
Leela Ginelle is a playwright and journalist living in Portland, OR.
You can write her at [email protected].
pqmonthly.com
COMMUNITY
FEATURE
ARTS
& CULTURE
BEAUDOIN, EXECUTIVE DIRECTOR OF PHAME, RUNS FOR MESD
An openly gay Portland man is
challenging an incumbent for a
countywide seat on the Multnomah
Education Service District board
this spring.
Stephen Marc Beaudoin, Executive Director of a local nonprofit that
serves adults with developmental disabilities, PHAME, is running against
incumbent Doug Montgomery for a 4-year term of Director
At-large Position 6. A third candidate, Colby Ross Clipston,
is also running in the May 19 election.
“I hope that I earn people’s consideration,” Beaudoin
said, with particular acknowledgement for PQ Monthly’s
readership: “Sexual orientation is not itself a qualification
for public office, but my experience and record is. I have
brought diverse coalitions together to get things done.”
He said he’s unable to see what impact the incumbent,
who is his chief opponent, has on the board and its resulting policies, vowing that he would do more to engage the
community if he got a chance to fill the role.
Beaudoin grew up in what he called a “scrappy, hardscrabble family” in Independence, Missouri, the youngest of four children in a lower-middle income household
where both parents worked.
“Public education was my way up,” he said. “Those
teachers saw potential in a very hyperactive, smart little
kid, and it was through public schools that I was able to
move forward and achieve things.”
As a child Beaudoin befriended a boy with Down Syndrome, explaining that at that time he didn’t understand
his friend to be any different than anyone else. It was only
pqmonthly.com
when the boys reached adolescence that Beaudoin realized
their lives would go in very different directions, something
that forever changed the way he’d view disability, he said.
“I’ve really developed an affinity and a love for people
with disabilities reaching their potential,” Beaudoin said.
“If you look at the landscape of racial equality, LGBT equality, or gender equality, disabilities are often left out of the
conversations.”
Beaudoin attended Paseo Academy, a magnet art and performance high school in Kansas City, and went to college at the
New England Conservatory of Music in Boston. Beaudoin is a
singer by training, but said he searched for ways that working
in music could have a greater impact on people’s lives, ultimately seeking out opportunities that combine what he calls
his three passions: arts, social justice, and education.
That combination is exactly his role as executive director of PHAME, a Portland nonprofit to enrich the lives of
adults with developmental disabilities through art. “Although I run a nonprofit dedicated to lifelong learning,
I’m not running as the education expert,” he said. “Though
I do bring specialized knowledge in special education and
people with disabilities. I’m running on my values and
beliefs, and on my strong track record as a nonprofit executive and a community leader in Portland for nearly a decade.”
But Beaudoin said he’s the most driven to get involved
in situations that seem to be in disarray.
“MESD is clearly at a crossroads, and an agency in need
of fresh vision and change. RIght now it’s messy and problematic and many people have lost hope, and I believe my
experience and values are what’s needed to move through
this crisis and move forward,” he said. “That’s part of what’s
exciting — the opportunity to turn things around.” On that note — and with Beaudoin in the race as an
openly gay candidate for an institution that has recently
been at the center of controversy over claims of anti-gay
harassment and bullying — it’s hard to avoid bringing up
Brett Bigham, the openly gay MESD Special Ed teacher and
Oregon’s Teacher of the Year who was fired April 3 after filing
official complaints with the state about his supervisors’ treatment towards him.
Beaudoin did not speculate what might have gone on
outside the public eye between Bigham and top administrators in the service district, but had sympathy for Bigham
going through a very trying time in his life, and who was
up against a power structure that Beaudoin believed had
made some missteps.
“Brett is a very talented educator, and there are many
reasons he has been so lauded and received recognition for
his work. I’m an openly gay man like Brett and I understand
and have experienced the anguish of not knowing if you’re
going to be able to keep your job or do it well because of who
you are. What I know, talking to employees, is there’s a lot
of fear in the district right now, and a lack of trust between
senior management and staff.”
Beaudoin called it a state of crisis. “Look at the litany of
HR issues, like the case of Mr. Bigham, for example. That
is but one example of some of the concerns and questions
that have been raised.” The service district also recently
parted ways with Superintendent Barbara Jorgensen, to
which Beaudoin said, “Most would say that’s long overdue.”
“The agency has been in the news for all the wrong reasons,” he said. “The first order of business is restoring trust
and faith in the agency.”
“I am openly gay, I have been since I was 13, before the
advent of GSAs, and I won’t stand for an organization that
discriminates. I will be a champion for issues of equity, diversity and inclusion, so every parent, staff member, teacher
and student feels welcome and part of the conversation.”
BOOKS
STYLE
COMMUNITY
OREGON TEACHER OF THE YEAR
FIRED; MESD CLAIMS HARASSMENT
“MISINTERPRETATION”
If a story like this one could happen in in
a city as famously LGBTQ-friendly as Portland, could any place really be safe?
Brett Bigham, Oregon’s 2014 Teacher
of the Year and out, gay Special Education
teacher for the Multnomah Education Service District, isn’t claiming he was fired on
April 3 directly for being gay. But as Bigham
tells it, his sexual orientation is partly what
triggered the cascade of conflicts and managerial abuses that led to the once-acclaimed teacher losing his job.
In a press release, MESD Interim Superintendent Jim Rose said Bigham was fired
for missing too much work and taking
the focus away from students. “Brett is a
great teacher,” Rose said, “Unfortunately,
it became clear over time that Brett’s focus
was no longer his classroom and students,
as evidenced by excessive time away and
distraction during class time.”
Laura Conroy, a spokesperson for the
district, said Bigham was fired because he
refused mediation.
Bigham said he’s kept records of his
absences and the district’s records are
“completely incorrect,” noting that the district offered him a 4-month leave of absence
for Teacher of the Year appearances and he
ended up taking much less. He describes a
retaliatory work environment where supervisors made repeated efforts to silence him
and search for petty grievances to punish
him for, then scrambling for whatever
reason they could find to force him out so
that they wouldn’t be held accountable for
previous infractions.
The trouble began in January 2014, when
a supervisor warned the newly-installed
Oregon Teacher of the Year against saying
that he’s gay in speeches. Bigham didn’t take
the instruction seriously, and said his managers followed up by seeking to tamp down
his public appearances, insisting that he
get all his public statements pre-approved.
With the teachers union’s support
and the belief that sharing his story as
he saw it is his Constitutional right, Bigham developed an increasingly resistant stance against what he
believed to be managerial
overreach, bullying, and
harassment from MESD.
He filed formal complaints
with the Oregon Bureau
of Labor and Industries,
and later went to the press
with emails from supervisors showing that they were
pressuring him to withdraw
the complaints.
Bigham’s claims were
credible enough to make
news headlines, and stories that were critical of the
district began to proliferate
just as MESD put Bigham
on a “plan of assistance” — the formal
paperwork process that MESD and many
other school districts use to build a case for
disciplining or even firing a teacher.
As that process continued, Bigham went
on paid administrative leave March 22. The
district, which hired an independent investigator to assess Bigham’s case, released its
own report dismissing Bigham’s concerns
about harassment, calling them a matter
of misinterpretation.
In a Facebook status update dated
March 24, Bigham said the MESD report
was “chock full of dishonesty” and said the
district had altered the copy handed over
to the press.
Since Bigham was fired, he, his lawyer,
and the teacher’s union have made a case to
have him reinstated. “I believe the actions
of MESD and the school board very clearly
show they are indeed retaliating against me
for filing my BOLI and TSPC complaints,”
Bigham said.
He said he’d only refused mediation
under its unreasonable terms — that he
drop his complaints against the district and
that he agree to stop speaking to the press,
he said.
“Since MESD put out a statement that
I refused mediation and was terminated
because of that, I believe that is very clear
they fired me because I would not accept
mediation that required the BOLI investigation stop before they could rule on their
findings and that I sign a nondisclosure
agreement immediately,” he said.
Bigham said his next step is waiting for
the state to reach a conclusion on his BOLI
complaint, at which point he’ll be clearer
on where he stands.
Until then, he’ll be taking things one day
at a time.
“To be unemployed is pretty scary when
you’ve got student loans, a house payment,
and a grownup life to pay for,” Bigham said.
“But I think good will come of this. Right
now it’s no fun, but I have to believe some
good will come.”
pqmonthly.com
FEATURE
FEATURE
MUSIC
VOCES
THE LADY CHRONICLES
If I Could Only Get You
Oceanside
By Daniel Borgen, PQ Monthly
The drive to Netarts, Oregon, the unincorporated working man’s town outside Tillamook, is a winding, gorgeous one, filled
with hills and dales and mountains and
green, damp forests. You get there quite
quickly if your friend, the driver during your
excursion, hits the gas like a soccer mom
who’s late for a PTA meeting; you probably
get there at a more leisurely pace if your
driver is anyone else—in total, you’re just
under two hours away from bustling city
life. In Netarts, odds are your cell phone
won’t work—no reception—and you’ll find
that to be a welcome reprieve. No urgent
smart phone matters to distract you.
The town redefines sleepy—I learned, in
terms of coastal politics and history, Netarts
is the “worker’s town,” while its next door
neighbor, Oceanside, the town nestled in a
hillside, is where the more “affluent” folks
live; I believe it, the homes in Oceanside
are big and sprawling. Netarts suits me fine,
with its two restaurant/bars, its competing
general stores, small cottages, and Lex’s
Cool Stuff, which houses all manner of useless (but charming) trinket. Lexie is kind
and will insist on feeding you goodies while
you shop. It’s a little unnerving, but humor
her. She worked hard on those brownies.
We went to Netarts in a small group; my
miniature cohort and I celebrated my friend
Kody’s birthday—he’s visiting from Africa,
where he does IT work I’ll never quite understand, but it’s taken him ‘round the globe
and he doesn’t visit home often. Komo, our
driver, and his husband, Tim, were our gracious hosts; they own a cozy oceanfront
home that once housed a campground’s
general store—the house is quaint, creaky,
and quirky, with old cold cases turned bookshelves, dozens of nooks and crannies, the
kind that might terrify you if the lights went
out in the middle of a storm, and its property lines are marked with giant old logs that
washed ashore decades ago. Each window
facing the water offers a stunning view of
the bay, which is breathtaking in its beauty.
As is customary during any trip I take,
I insisted on sampling the nightlife. Most
friends I travel with rarely object. After
white wine and hors d’oeuvres and an
hour or so recounting the treacherous
drive through the mountain passes (our
PTA mom didn’t make any friends along the
way), we decided to head to The Upstairs,
an aptly named restaurant/bar housed in
a beautifully restored manufactured home.
I believe it is called The Upstairs because
you must climb stairs to enter it, but it may
be because it’s up the hill from Schooners,
another local watering hole, one we didn’t
get the chance to frequent this trip, but I’m
told is legendary in its own right.
The Upstairs is adorned with video lot-
tery machines, a digital jukebox, a pool
table, and has been
updated with some
impressive details—the bar itself is a massive marvel of modern woodwork, and the
place is cozy and welcoming, even as every
patron turns his or her head when you walk
in the door. The music didn’t stop, per se,
but it may as well have; but in their defense,
we aren’t the most inconspicuous or unassuming group, and Komo and I have never
been known for our subtlety. Moments after
walking in, he marched over to the jukebox
to play Ariana Grande and Beyoncé, much
to the chagrin of a long-haired gentleman,
who tried desperately to negotiate song
choices with the bar’s new deejay.
I didn’t catch his name, but he did have
blue nail polish on, and he approached our
table several times, asking us if we were,
you know, “gay.” (He whispered it.) He knew
someone “like us” from Portland, a gentleman named Lane, and he was certain we
knew him too. He was there with his girlfriend, and our new friend socialized with
a sense of urgency and interest heretofore
unseen. This is not to say every local was
preoccupied by the amount of gay strolling through their Cheers; most folks were
unfazed, welcoming, as earnest as a Richard Marx song. The waitresses—one had
long gray hair and was covered in Harley
tattoos—hugged us and kissed us when we
left. An older bearded man high-fived me
when I won all my cash prizes at the video
lottery machine (I have good luck at the
coast). Another gravelly-voiced local told
me their little community is “very openminded and progressive.” I believe her.
Our adventures were not completely
nightlife-driven. Each afternoon, we’d
walk the beach; we’d stroll past Oceanside—which I believe is home to a secret lesbian compound (there were so many ladies
I felt like we were at Dinah in Palm Springs);
we’d peruse treasures in general stores; we
marveled at sea life and explored caves and
searched for sand dollars. I find nothing
more calming than the roar of ocean waves
and the comfort of sand under my feet,
even if it is windy and chilly and not Waikiki.
The beach serves as my yoga, my guru; it is
centering and meditative and it always feels
like home. I encourage you to stand at the
water’s edge and embrace your smallness.
The day we left, we took one last walk
along the beach, and we stopped at The
Upstairs for a snack and adult beverage
before hitting the road (our driver drank
tea). We said goodbye to our new friends
and promised to visit again soon—and it
was then realized something very important: Indiana really doesn’t worry me so
much after I spend a weekend in a place
like Netarts, Oregon.
ELYSIANBALLROOM.COM
918 Southwest Yamhill St. Portland, Oregon - 503-705-6308
Celebrating love and marriage with our LGBT community
The title of this column is taken from an old Decemberists track, one of my all-time
favorites: Oceanside. Yes, I have loved them since 2001. Email [email protected].
pqmonthly.com
VOICES
VOICES
GLAPN
VOICES
This Ends Badly
See Right Through You:
The Case for Transparency
By Michael James Schneider, PQ Monthly
step, be it connecting
on social media or over
the phone. There’s the Desperado, the guy
who wants to meet right away, today in fact,
and we haven’t even exchanged names yet.
This one might also get hurt feelings when
you politely decline. The third type is far less
transparent: The Gay Aggressive Networker.
The G.A.N. This guy might pretend that he’s
interested in you, might even suggest that
you text each other, but he’ll always be too
busy. He’s interested in increasing his Instagram follower count, his retweets, his likes,
his pageviews. He’ll never want to meet in
person, or go on a date. I wonder why this
type gets under my skin so much, or why I
bristle when I’m told I sometimes resemble
a G.A.N. It must be the lack of sincerity, the
implication of a hidden agenda that rubs
me the wrong way.
3) Driving to SEA-TAC, holding my boyfriend’s hand (yes the perpetually notoriously single guy has a boyfriend and it’s
awesome and wonderful and a whirlwind
and what will I write about now and no I’m
not ready to talk about it yet). I start the
conversation the way I usually do: awkwardly and stilted. I tell him I’ve blocked
him on the dating apps we’ve connected
on, because seeing him on there talking to
other guys, even though we’re exclusive,
would be an anxiety trigger for me. About
how I’m ready to delete a couple of dating
apps and I want him to do the same, but I
don’t control him so he can do whatever
he wants. About what our boundaries and
communication will look like when meeting single gay guys online. The conversation
feels like a breath of fresh air.
Although mystery and nuance are great,
transparency and honesty feel so much
better in the long run. Why then, do we
often keep running back to not having that
important conversation, not wanting to
speak up for what we want, and being too
polite for our own good? The easy answer
is “Because I don’t want to hurt someone’s
feelings”, but again, that’s just on the surface. We must get something out of it, there
must be some kind of payoff, some kind of
satisfaction in our brains when we choose to
be inauthentic, whether it’s on social media,
or on dating apps, or even when meeting
people in person. It takes effort to be real.
I spoke recently on TV about how privacy is becoming a commodity to be traded,
about how in order to get some conveniences, we’ll have to trade some of our
secrets. This isn’t necessarily a bad thing,
and it should always be our choice, and not
chosen for us. Maybe in the future, we won’t
greet each other with “How are you doing?”
but “Tell me a secret.”
Because anyone can see me. The real
trick is to see right through me.
Walking down Broadway, I shuffled
along, staring at the sidewalk and musing
on the possible titles of my inevitable,
boring memoir: “My Cat Is The Handsomest:
Thoughts On Dying Alone By Michael James
Schneider.” “Sir, You Can’t Take A Bottle Of
Lube That Large On An Airplane, A Long-Distance Love Story By Michael James Schneider.” “What It Looks Like When The Universe
Poops On Your Life: How To Get It All Wrong,
by Michael James Schneider.” I looked up
just in time to realize that A) I was at a bottleneck in the sidewalk, between a cafe table
and a tree, and B) a guy who was Dreamy
as Fuck was also trying to get through the
narrow path from the other side.
I stopped, and made an embarrassed
gesture to let him through. He, however,
did the same. No, no, my next gesture said,
my hand sweeping magnanimously, Please,
after you, I insist. And there we stood for
a good 20 minutes, each trying to be the
Beta dog in this classic West Coast Standoff of politeness, each trying not to bare
our teeth or make eye contact lest the other
one attack.
On the surface, the PNW is a friendly,
polite place to live. What happens when you
look under that surface, though? Is politeness a form of dishonesty and artifice, and if
so, what does it take to live a transparent life?
1) I visited Portland for the first time in
February of 2013, back when I lived in Los
Angeles. I knew nothing about the Pacific
Northwest, but I did know that I was going
through something hard, and LA suddenly
felt like it was pushing me out like a splinter. Not just once but twice during the week
I visited, my friend Summer and I sat down
to eat somewhere, and the couple next to
us struck up a friendly conversation. Both
times, my inner monologue was the same:
What do they want? What are they networking me for? When are they going to pull out
the brochure for their timeshare they want
to sell me, tell me about their shitty-ass blog?
It was only after the second perfectly pleasant conversation that I realized the problem
wasn’t them, it was me. Whether it was cynicism from living in a city with lots of networkers, or just the weariness from searching for authenticity in people, I was closed
off to the possibility that people could just
be friendly without expectation.
2) I joined Scruff in December of 2012,
and this was the first time I had gotten on
any dating app. I had been on OKCupid
before, sure, but this was different. From the
moment I got on, I was able to identify a few
categories of guys. There was the Shy One,
the single guy who was comfortable chatting online and giving compliments, but
would never want to graduate to the next
Michael James Schneider is a writer, designer, and artist based in Portland, OR. He
writes for his wildly unpopular and poorly-named blog, BLCKSMTHdesign.com, and
just released his first fiction book, The Tropic Of Never, available on Amazon.
Photo by Summer Olsson.
pqmonthly.com
HEALTH CARE
GATEKEEPING: THE DARK HISTORY OF TRANS HEALTH CARE
mones. A form of hazing, this limited the pool of potential
transitioners to those who (a) could afford the therapist
At the start of my transition, I recall talking to a friend and clinical fees, and (b) could exist reasonably comfortabout my medical plans.
ably in a hostile social environment expressing their inter“Well,” he said, interrupting authoritatively, “before having nal gender without the benefits of hormones, ie: those with
surgery you’ll have to live for a year as a woman, correct?”
means who could “pass.”
I bristled at hearing this person, who, by his own admission
This exorbitantly long period also meant trans people
had never previously known someone trans, confidently recite seeking relief from their gender dysphoria received none for
for me the hurdles that had been laid out in order to align my years. Surgeons played a large role in limiting the numbers
body to my gender identity. of trans individuals who received
Even at the time, however,
the treatment they needed, as
I hesitated to blame him, perwell. A survey of the Johns Hopsonally. For in our culture, I
kins University gender program,
was aware, it’s an article of faith
revealed doctors there approved
that all people’s gender expresonly 24 of the first 2,000 requests
sions are policed, and that trans
submitted for gender confirmpeople, who must interface with
ing surgery.
the medical establishment, find
Trans people, desperate
theirs policed most vigorously.
for treatment, learned to conWhy is this so, though? Where
form at the time to the patridid such regulations come from,
archal, homophobic stanand why do they persist?
dards enforced by the gateTrans people, desperate for treatment, learned to conform at the time to the
The one year requirement
keepers they encountered. As
patriarchal, homophobic standards enforced by the gatekeepers they encountered.
cited by my friend, and someJulia Serano writes in her book
times referred to as the “real life test” was a part of the now “Whipping Girl,” “Most trans women understood that they
outdated, “Harry Benjamin International Gender Dyspho- needed to show up for their psychotherapy appointments
ria Association Standards of Care,” named for the man who wearing dresses and makeup, expressing stereotypically
pioneered trans health care in the U.S. An endocrinologist, feminine mannerisms, insisting that they had always felt
Benjamin first began treating trans patients in the 1920s, like women trapped inside men’s bodies, and they’d idenand wrote with sympathy about the desperation he wit- tified as female since they were small children, that they
nessed in them, the stigma they faced, and the high rate of were attracted to men but currently avoided intimate relasuicidality he discovered in their community. tions because they did not see themselves as homosexual,
While Benjamin became a beacon for trans patients over and that they were repulsed by their own penises.”
the next few decades, he’s faced criticism for his reinforceGatekeepers in this period almost uniformly insisted
ment of binary norms, and the often patronizing stance he trans people hide their trans identities. Patients were often
developed with the patients who sought his help. These ten- advised to cease contact with their families, and children,
dencies only rigidified in the second half of the century for if they had them, change their place of employment, and
U.S. patients who sought to transition.
even the cities where they lived. This forced trans people
Due to the widespread public disapproval of trans iden- into shame and secrecy, and eliminated the possibility of
tities, gatekeepers put great obstacles in the way of their trans people creating community for themselves and orgapotential patients.
nizing for their rights. As Serano points out, such demands
For instance, trans people at this time were referred by service providers placed the comfort of a transphobic
to gender clinics by therapists. Those attaining referrals society above the well-being of the trans folk being treated.
underwent a two-year “real life test” prior to receiving horThe protocols described above became codified in 1979
in the original Harry Benjamin International Gender Dysphoria Association (HBIGDA) Standards of Care. The standards have evolved, undergoing six revisions since that
time, the most recent coming in 2011. In 2007, the HBIGDA
changed its name to WPATH — the World Professional
Association for Transgender Health. The newest edition of
the Standards of Care eliminates, finally, most of what was
problematic in the early gatekeepers’ approaches. Gone
are the “real life tests,” the pathologizing language, and the
stigmas against same sex attraction. The new standards, instead, place their onus on the
service providers charged with alleviating the dysphoria
of their patients. My experience accessing medical care
during my transition, however, suggested to me that the
Standards’ long, ugly shadow has lingered within the medical providers’ practices.
When I sought my first surgery, just prior to the most
recent revision, I had to search for a therapist willing to
write me a letter, despite my not having “completed” a full
year of living in my affirmed gender. Fortunately, living in
Portland, I was able to, but I interacted with therapists, ones
who advertised themselves as being trained to work with
trans patients, who merely parroted the Standards’ guidelines back to me, as though that document was a better
judge of my needs than I was.
Likewise, though I paid for both my surgeries out of
pocket in full, my surgeons each anxiously required letters
from my endocrinologist and therapist. In each case, they
confessed they were worried about accountability, as though
their choice to provide the procedure, and my choice to
attain it were somehow insufficient, and instead, the Standards were needed to ward off skeptics, particularly those
who oppose offering treatment of any kind to trans patients. I don’t begrudge a panel of experts, like those who make
up WPATH, wishing to suggest best practices to professionals serving the trans community. I do begrudge, though,
having been made to jump through hoops, particularly
hoops that question my mental well-being, in pursuing
the procedures I needed to align my gender expression to
my gender identity. Why aren’t hormones, for example, sold over the
counter? And why do gender confirming surgeries require
letters from mental health professionals? Why, at any level,
are our genders still policed by gatekeepers?
Look out
for: PQ Podcasts!
MONTHLY
pqmonthly.com
SOLD
FASHION
by Realtor
Gabriela
“HOME PRICES ARE UP! What is YOUR home worth?
Text “kw2f3g82a” to 87778 for an evaluation of your house.
I will get you more money, fast, and with less hassle!!
“Results that
move you!”
RealtorGabriela.com • 503-481-9870 • [email protected]
9755 SW Barnes Rd #560 Portland, OR 97225
Each office independently owned and operated
pqmonthly.com
COMMUNITY
OUR PRIORITIES FOR LIVED EQUALITY IN OREGON
By Joe LeBlanc, Basic Rights Oregon
At Basic Rights Oregon, we are in full swing with the
Oregon Legislative session for 2015, building a broad and
inclusive politically powerful movement, shifting public
opinion, on our way to achieving more policy victories.
Volunteers from across Oregon are talking with legislators about the critical issues impacting their communities.
We have had survivors testifying about their experiences
with conversion therapy and why those dangerous practices need to be banned for youth in Oregon. People have
shared their stories about how racial profiling impacts them
daily as an LGBTQ person of color. Others have shared stories about how not having
paid sick days impacts the
livelihood of queer and
transgender Oregonians
and their abilities to provide for their families.
As Oregon’s statewide
advocacy organization for
LGBTQ Oregonians, our
work is about achieving
lived equality. It’s about
making sure that the lives
of all of our community
members are not only
protected by legal equality
but also rooted in safety
and opportunity.
We’ve made progress
in Oregon. What’s next?
We’ve made tremendous progress in Oregon
during the last decade—we have won comprehensive
non-discrimination laws, passed laws for safer schools,
secured the freedom to marry for same-sex couples and
improved access to health care for transgender Oregonians.
However, the road to lived equality is still long for many
LGBTQ Oregonians, particularly those who are immigrants, people of color, live in smaller towns and rural
communities, youth, transgender or seniors.
To achieve the freedom of both legal and lived equality for all Oregonians, Basic Rights Oregon is working with
coalitions throughout the state to organize, educate and
activate our communities to defend the progress we have
made, and create new policies that promote fairness, equality and self-determination for all our communities. Below
is a snapshot of some of the bills we are supporting:
Basic Rights Oregon Sponsored Bills
HB 2307, The Youth Mental Health Protection Act: This
act would prohibit licensed professional mental health providers from doing dangerous and discredited “conversion
pqmonthly.com
therapy” on minors. Similar legislation has passed in California and elsewhere. Current Status: Passed the Oregon
House in a 41-18 vote, and has been referred to Senate
Human Services and Childhood Committee with a hearing hopefully scheduled soon.
SB 473, Accurate Data Collection: This bill would add
sexual orientation and gender identity to the list of demographic data already collected by universities, colleges
and community colleges. The Oregon Student Association is leading this bill. Current Status: Amendments are
being finalized and it passed the Senate Education Committee with a 4-3 vote on March 31. Referred to the Ways
and Means Committee.
HB 2759 and HB 2478, Update and Modernize Oregon’s
Marriage Statutes: These bills would amend Oregon’s state
marriage laws to be a gender-neutral contract between two
spouses and phase out Oregon Registered Domestic Partnerships, which are now obsolete. Current Status: Referred
to the House Rules Committee.
Basic Rights Oregon Priority Coalition Partner Bills
HB 2002, End Profiling: This bill would ban profiling on
the basis of race, ethnicity, color, national origin, age, sexual
orientation, physical or intellectual disability, serious medical condition, income, language, political affiliation or religion. It would require all of Oregon’s law enforcement agencies to train their officers on how not to profile. And it creates an additional way for victims of profiling to get justice.
LGBTQ communities particularly LGBTQ people of color
and transgender people, have a long history of being targeted unfairly by law enforcement. Current Status: House
Judiciary hearing was held on March 30.
HB 3025, Ban the Box: This legislation would remove the
box on employment and housing applications that require
applicants to disclose whether or not they have been convicted of a crime. This is important because LGBTQ people
of color, particularly transgender people, are unfairly targeted
by law enforcement and as result, disproportionately make
up people who are incarcerated. LGBTQ communities are
consistently pushed into an unfair and biased criminal justice system without the resources to navigate it. Once out of
incarceration, most housing and employment applications
require Oregonians to report past convictions—nearly ensuring homelessness and joblessness. Current Status: House
Committee on Business and Labor hearing held on March 25.
SB 454, HB 2005, Paid Sick Days for Workers: These
bills would give all full-time
workers in Oregon 40 hours
of paid sick time per year to
use when they or a family
member gets sick. Currently,
40 percent of private-sector
workers and 80 percent of
low-income workers have
no paid sick days from their
job–not one. Every one of us
gets sick occasionally, but
not everyone gets the time
they need to recover or care
for sick family members–
and it affects all of us. Paid
sick time is vital to the economic security of our families of color. Current Status:
Referred to the Ways and
Photo provided by Basic Rights Oregon. Means Committee for a work
session on March 30.
HB 2009, Increase the Minimum Wage: This bill would
raise the minimum wage in Oregon to $15 an hour. The
minimum wage was intended to be a minimum living
wage, but it’s not and it’s hurting our families. Maintaining a poverty minimum wage hurts all Oregonians. Current
Status: Referred to the House Business and Labor Committee, hearing scheduled on April 13.
Each of these bills impacts LGBTQ communities
throughout Oregon daily, and if passed would allow us
the ability to survive and thrive as Oregonians. We continue
to be a multi-issue movement, working across identity,
and collaborating with other communities to make progress and real change. We need your help in this work, and
we look forward to seeing you across the state as we continue our work to achieve lived equality for all Oregonians.
Joe LeBlanc is the Online Engagement Manager at Basic
Rights Oregon; Founder of BUTCH Voices, and an all-around
dapper butch.
FEATURE
VOICES
RADICAL RELATIONSHIPS
By Sossity Chiricuzio,
PQ Monthly
It’s how you do it,
not who you are doing.
I’m speaking as
someone who has
never been in a
monogamous relationship, though I witPhoto by J Tyler Huber. ness beautiful examples of them frequently. I’m speaking as a
person that has been observing the evolution of queer relationships for decades, as
the ideas of monogamy and non-monogamy
have shifted back and forth in theory and currency and structure. From the middle of Arizona to the West Coast, from lesbian feminists
to radical queers, and much of the in between.
There are issues of race and class
and culture in there, too. Issues of politics and hierarchy and personal agency.
Non/Monogamy is no more an easy
binary than just about anything else we
want to codify, but it does represent some
major points in the spectrum of potential
relationships. It also represents the dismissal of non-sexual relationships as intimate connections. As if friendships and
family and community aren’t full of courtship and emotion. As if mentorships and
coalitions and collective garden plots
require no negotiation or partnership.
The only real road maps we get to what
makes a relationship are the ones we perceive around us, and the popular mythology that surrounds us.
There is this idea about how a relationship works that has been sold to us for centuries. ½ + ½ = 1. As in a unit of value and a
pattern of achievement. Carefully laid out
in path and purpose, promising that we’ll
never be lonely again. This theory sells a
hundred million services and items (and
consolation prizes), and doesn’t do justice
to the amazing amount of work it takes to
build your life with the needs of at least one
entirely-different-than-you person in mind.
There’s also this counter culture idea that
monogamy is inherently flawed, and that
only non-monogamous relationships can
really break free of the system of the oppressor. Where 1+ 1 + 1 > 2. An increasingly less
subtle air of superiority that can sometimes
crop up in otherwise fair minded company.
This theory doesn’t do justice to the amazing amount of patience and learning and
faith involved in any intimate relationship,
no matter how many people are involved.
So, there’s sexual intimacy, and non-sexual intimacy - how does radical apply to
all this?
Radical (Merriam-Webster + me), [radi-kuh l], adjective:
1. of or going to the root or origin; fundamental: To examine a relationship you
are in, all the way to the roots, and tend it
like a garden.
2. thoroughgoing or extreme, especially
as regards change from accepted or traditional forms: To meet the actual needs of the
people involved, rather than simply fulfill
the perceived roles of those people.
3. favoring drastic political, economic, or
social reforms: To be mindful of the various
factors in the existence of another person,
especially those where we have privilege.
4. forming a basis or foundation: To do
the work that is required to build trust and
healthy connections.
5. existing inherently in a thing or person:
To start from a place of self, grounded in
your own inherent value and agency and
responsibility.
Every successful relationship I’ve been
in has been built to suit the occupants and
modified as life and growth and adventure
called for.
Wait, though — what does ‘successful’ means in terms of a relationship, anyways? Popular mythology would frame it
as a relationship that never wavers, never
strays, and lasts until someone dies. While
this is nicely dramatic for the purposes of
storytelling, and sometimes actually happens, this is mostly a formula by which we’re
bound to deem almost all of our relationships as failures.
What if our stumbling and getting back
up was measured as a unit of success? What
if recognizing when it was time to transition, or take a break, or push through, were
all moments of success? What if loving each
other and learning from each other for as long
as it is healthy for everyone involved and then
letting go with love was success? What if getting out however you have to when your life
is on the line was success? What if choosing
to be single or celibate was success?
What if they already are, and we’ve just
been convinced otherwise?
How we choose to be in the world in relation to other people is one of the most radical
places we can access. To be a ripple of affirmation or reflection of truth. To build networks
of information and resources. To build nets of
safety and care. Remembering and learning,
over and over, not to take the intimacy that
forms there for granted, or to award it in popularity contests, or to use it against each other
in anger. These are not tools we’ve been given,
we just have our clumsy found art mechanisms to craft it all together.
Not everyone is wired for monogamy. Or
polyamory. Or partnership. Or sex. Or large
social gatherings. Or highly vocal friendships. Or meetings. One size most definitely
does not fit all. I don’t know if it’s possible
to try them on to see what does fit without
ripping a seam or two, but I do believe it’s
possible to stitch ourselves back up and
find beauty in the texture. A deeper knowing of what we need, and what not to offer.
Whatever rituals or structures or people
we choose, whatever connections we form
that bring us joy and strength, I hope we
can build them on a radical foundation
that feeds everyone involved. I hope we
can collectively peel them open and rummage around, to swap and shape and examine thoroughly. I hope we craft them with
intention, and hold our own centers.
I have such hopes for us.
End note: If you have questions you’d like
me to answer or seek out answers for, products you’d like me to review, people you’d like
to hear from, or resources to share, please get
in touch! [email protected]
pqmonthly.com
VOICES
OUR MIDLIFE ADVENTURE (NOT CRISIS!)
By Laura Waters and Kim Dunn,
Special for PQ Monthly
We just returned from a glorious nine-month (Nine
months!) adventure in Europe. We are a regular Northwest
family (two moms and a darling daughter), living what was
a pretty regular life until everything changed. It was a Midlife Adventure (not crisis), Kim says. We visited 6 countries,
stayed in 13 Airbnb rentals, 2 homes (cat/dog-sitting), 0 airports (thankfully), travelled on 63 trains, 8 planes, countless buses, and logged over one million steps on foot (thank
you FitBit.) All with a two-year old.
The “rules” were simple. Nine months in Europe, on a
budget of $2,000 a month. The rules at some point expanded
to include: stay in cities with lots to do (we learned this by
spending a couple months walking and talking with cows.)
But we didn’t just wake up one day and leave our lives
behind. Well, ultimately we did. But it all started with a
dream and a bit of “good luck,” or something like it.
For years we talked about going to Europe, like many
people do. I would say to Kim, “I want to take you to
Europe,” and she would say, “OK, take me.” And that’s
when I’d say the troublesome sorts of things I say. The things
that, truth-be-told, can inspire eye-rolling in one’s partner.
I’d say, “But I don’t want to go for a week
or 10 days. I want to go for months.” And
then she’d say the troublesome things
she says. She’d say, “That’s not possible.
I have a job.” And so it went. For years.
Then I think some subconscious
meaning-of-life-y shifts happened, a
result of a bout with breast cancer for
Kim and the birth of our daughter. We
didn’t really know it at the time, but we
were moving toward something new.
And in truth, we were moving closer
together too. Kim started saying, “I don’t
know about this job of mine … I’d like to
spend my life doing work I’m more passionate about.” One day I said, “Quit.”
She said, “Really?” And we decided to
go to Europe. We decided in that way
that one can decide to do something, while still not really
believing it’s possible, and borderline actually knowing it
isn’t. But we decided.
And since we’d decided, we sat down to book tickets —
to New York. We were ready to make the tiniest little ges-
ture toward Europe while not really committing. We said
that, worst case scenario, we’d have a nice little trip to the
east coast and come home. After all, we didn’t really think it
was possible. We had a home, cars, stuff, friends and family,
commitments, you know. We huddled nervously in front
of the MacBook Pro, took deep breaths, held hands and
pushed the PURCHASE button. With tickets to New York
firmly tucked away in our Inbox, we began breathing again.
It was at that moment that a deafening siren went off and
our home starting flooding with water.
It really did. It was December and freezing; a sprinkler system pipe burst in the
wall and our home flooded. We instantly
didn’t live there any more, were separated from most of our worldly possessions and we no longer had to figure out
how to prep the place for sale or tenancy.
Right then, we began our life of travel —
a life that has been blessed with interesting places we’ve called home, adventures
with a toddler, delicious eats and culinary challenges, learning, laughter and
unforgettable memories.
All sorts of small things had to
happen for us to get to Europe. We had
to make decisions about stuff, money,
dates, job quitting, going away parties,
etc. But it began with a dream; a dream that got a serious
kick in the pants by a whole bunch of rushing water.
First in a series of 6. Stay tuned for part 2 — out next
month!
The Muttley Crew
Giving professionals a new leash on life!
• Grooming
• Doggie daycare
• Premium USA made products
• Top rated pet foods including Orijen,
Acana, Taste of the Wild, Honest Kitchen
Go! Now! and Raw foods.
*Best in the Biz 2009, 2010, 2011 by Spot Magazine
Visit us!
806 NW Murray
Portland, OR 97229
Mon-Fri 6:45am - 6:30pm
Sat 8am - 4pm
Call us:
503-626-8212
THEMUTTLEYCREW.COM
Always have supported LGBT rights, Always will.
pqmonthly.com
PHOTOS
GLAPN
PFLAG PORTLAND BLACK
CHAPTER TO CELEBRATE
ITS SIXTH ANNIVERSARY
By George T.
Nicola, GLAPN
PFLAG Portland Black Chapter (PPBC) will
hold its sixth
anniversary celebration at
Ambridge Event
Center in Portland starting at 6
pm, Sunday, April
24. It is billed as
the “biggest, baddest, most love-filled celebration of our Black LGBTQ community.”
All people of good will, regardless of age or
identity, are welcome.
Mistress of Ceremonies will be popular local entertainer Alexis Campbell Starr.
The gala will feature food, drinks, entertainment, moving performances, special guest
speakers, and photo booth fun along with
other attractions.
PFLAG was initially an acronym for Parents, Family & Friends of Lesbians & Gays.
Now it emphasizes its inclusion of the full
LGBTQ spectrum. Participants are generally half LGBTQ and half ally.
Locally, Parents of Gays (POG) was
founded in 1976. In 1983, it incorporated
as PFLAG Portland. PFLAG Portland Black
Chapter, which is part of PFLAG Portland,
was founded in 2009 as the first PFLAG
chapter in the nation to be created by and
for the African American community.
The group has worked extensively to
advocate for LGBTQ equality in the larger
black community and facilitate the organization of gay-straight alliances (GSAs) in
schools. In fact, many PPBC participants
have become leaders in the larger Portland
black community.
Khalil Edwards, the energetic and skillful coordinator of PPBC, is the son of Antoinette and Keith Edwards. Antoinette is one
of PPBC’s founders, and Keith is a strong
supporter.
In 2013, PFLAG Portland Black Chapter
added Youth Coordinator Leila Hofstein to
expand their Youth Outreach Program and
Support Development. In that role, Leila
Hofstein has done an exceptional job working with the LGBTQ youth of our community.
Tickets for this very affordable anniversary event can be purchased online at
http://bit.ly/PBCAnniv6
NATIVE OREGONIAN PUBLISHES
FOUR LESBIAN THEMED NOVELS
By George T. Nicola,
GLAPN
Many of us
remember a time
when it was almost
impossible to find
literature that posi t i v e l y re f l e c t e d
our experiences as
LGBTQ people. So
we certainly welcome those in our
community whose
published writings now reflect the reality
of our lives.
Oregon native Karelia Stetz-Waters has
amazingly published four lesbian themed
novels. One of these released in 2014, Forgive Me If I Told You This Before, semiautobiographically recounts the life of a teenager girl coming out in small town Oregon
during the notoriously anti-gay 1992 Ballot
Measure 9. The book is an annual Lambda
Literary Award finalist in the LGBT Children’s/Young Adult category. The winners
will be announced at a ceremony on June
1, 2015 in New York City. (http://www.lambdaliterary.org/awards/)
Karelia says that her romance novel,
Something True, was the first female/female
romance to be picked up by the Forever
Yours imprint at Grand Central Publishing. Her agent said that a lesbian romance
was “unprecedented” in the mainstream
romance industry, so it was quite a groundbreaker. A complete list of Karelia’s writings
can be found at http://kareliastetzwaters.
com/books/.
For the last eight years, Karelia has lived
with her partner (now her wife) in Albany,
Oregon near Karelia’s childhood home. There
she is a full time instructor at Linn Benton
Community College. In that position, she has
taught writing classes ranging from pre-college level writing to advanced technical writing. She has also taught poetry, fiction, and
the literature of continental Africa.
Karelia is English Department Chair,
serving as a liaison between students, faculty, and administration. Thanks to Karelia, the love that once dared not speak its
name now has an eloquent literary voice
in Oregon.
pqmonthly.com
GAY SKATE WITH PQ
Oaks Park Roller Skating Rink
Always the 3rd Monday of every month from 7-9pm
THE THEME FOR MAY IS: 80’S
THE THEME FOR JUNE IS: SUPERHEROES
Follow us on Facebook for details
ADMISSION $6.00
FEATURES
PQ Monthly is proud to partner with Take Action Inc
for their “Backpack program.” This program fills
backpacks, utilizing YOUR Gay Skate food donations,
for Oregon kids pre-kindergarten to 8th grade, so
they do not go hungry over the weekends.
Thank you for donating to this most worthy program.
Please visit www.pqmonthly.com/
partnerships and click on
“Take Action Inc”
to view their list of preferred foods.
Sponsors:
PQMONTHLY.COM
®
A motorcycle magazine for Oregon & Washington
Launch party: Skyline Tavern
8031 NW Skyline Blvd.
Portland, OR 97229
Saturday 5/2/15 from 3-6pm
Featuring: Live music by Lars and his
Roadshow, Chica’s 12-times-awardwinning chili, and the first edition of
Tankside!
Tankside.com
In print the 1st of every month
at your favorite dealership.
Follow us on Facebook & twitter to find out how you can have your events, photos and stories featured in the magazine
Facebook.com/tankside
pqmonthly.com
By people who ride for people who ride.
Twitter.com/tankside
QUEER APERTURE
Through his Queer Aperture project, photographer Jeffrey Horvitz has spent years documenting the LGBTQ
communities of Portland, San Francisco, Seattle, and Vancouver, B.C. He’s well aware that a picture paints a whole mess
of words, but here he offers a few actual words to better acquaint us with his dynamic subjects.
What is your name?
Jake France
Favorite movie?
The Fall by Tarsem Singh
How long have you lived in Portland?
Since 98, moved away to NY and back since 2009
Favorite word?
Banister
What is the first time you noticed that Gayness existed?
When I was 10 or 11 I watched Victor /Victoria
Least favorite word?
Taxes
What would you consider a guilty pleasure?
Sitting in my underwear eating pie and watching bad TV
Favorite swear word?
Fuck
Your having a dinner party of 6 , whom would you invite?
Deepak Chopra, Bette Midler, Madeline Albright, Neal
Degrasse Tyson, Lea Delaria and Dolly Parton
What is your profession?
Half Owner of Boy’s Fort , downtown Portland
What would you consider a perfect meal?
Pie in any form
If you could with a snap of a finger what would be
another profession you would like to do?
Travel Writer
What would be a perfect day off?
Working in my yard with the sun and hanging with my dogs
Whom would you like to meet dead or alive?
Mark Twain
Favorite book?
Other Voices Other Rooms – Truman Capote
PHOTO BY JEFFREY HORVITZ
DYKES ON BIKES® & FRIENDS
Come join the Oregon
DYKES ON BIKES®
Portland Chapter!
www.DykesOnBikesPortland.com
Dykes&Allies on Bikes
Please email [email protected]
to get on mailing list
RIDE LOUD &
PROUD WITH US!
pqmonthly.com
BUSINESS DIRECTORY
PQ Monthly is published the 3rd Thursday of every month. Please contact us for advertising opportunities at 503.228.3139
ATTORNEYS
INSURANCE
www.pqmonthly.com
REAL ESTATE
WEDDINGS
LICENSED MASSAGE THERAPIST, LMT
The Ellody
A place to relax, refresh,
escape, celebrate...
Vacation and event rental, 30 mins from PDX
TheEllody.com – 360.837.3457
MORTGAGE
HAIR REMOVAL
VISIT PQMONTHLY.COM
REGULARLY FOR NEWS
UPDATES, BLOGS,
EXPANDED FEATURES AND
MORE!
INSURANCE
Join us!
PQ PRESS PARTY!
May 21st
5PM - 7PM
• May 21, 2015, 5P.M.-7 P.M. Tony Starlight Showroom
(1125 SE Madison St, Portland, OR 97214)
PQ Monthly is published the 3rd Thursday of every month.
Please contact us for advertising opportunities.
503.228.3139 •PQMONTHLY.COM
pqmonthly.com
pqmonthly.com

here to a PDF version

Transcription

Similar documents

John Knight pnca.edu> Oct 11 to me Dear Rebecca and

to the brochure for 137 Trickey Pond

Portland High School Sideliners

Calbag Portland

MODEL PM-900 Magnetic-Field Power Amplifier Owner`s Manual

Brochure - NAI The Dunham Group

The Economic Benefits of a Bicycle

BillChek®

Culinary Coast - Oregon Tour and Travel Alliance

mary alice - Architecture Foundation of Oregon