Homosexual Saints – The Community of Christ Experience

Transcription

Homosexual Saints – The Community of Christ Experience
WELCOMING COMMUNITY NETWORK
Homosexual Saints – The
Community of Christ
Experience
Study & Discussion Guide
Karolyn Chapman Sharp
Developed by Welcoming Community Network for use with William Russell’s Homosexual Saints – the
Community of Christ Experience
Homosexual Saints – The Community of Christ Experience
Table of Contents
How to Use this Study Guide ........................................................................................................................ 1
Lesson One – History .................................................................................................................................... 3
Lesson Two – Parents’ Stories..................................................................................................................... 10
Lesson Three – Coming Out / The Journey ................................................................................................. 15
Lesson Four – LGBT and Priesthood............................................................................................................ 20
Lesson Five - Alienation .............................................................................................................................. 31
Lesson Six – When a Spouse Comes Out .................................................................................................... 36
Lesson Seven – Welcoming Communities & Institutions............................................................................ 42
Lesson Eight - Conclusions .......................................................................................................................... 49
Glossary ....................................................................................................................................................... 55
© 2011 Welcoming Community Network
www.welcomingcommunitynetwork.org
Homosexual Saints – The Community of Christ Experience
How to Use this Study Guide
How to Use this Study Guide
In this course we will be exploring William D. Russell’s Homosexual Saints: The Community of Christ
Experience. This study guide divides the book into eight (8), 1 hour class sessions:
-
Lesson 1 – The history of the Community of Christ on issues of homosexuality
Lesson 2 – Parents’ Stories
Lesson 3 – Coming Out
Lesson 4 – LGBT and the Priesthood
Lesson 5 – Alienation
Lesson 6 – When a Spouse Comes Out
Lesson 7 – Welcoming Communities and Institutions
Lesson 8 – Conclusions
Each Lesson contains the following sections:
Exploring the Scriptures – A topical scripture and discussion on the lesson’s theme.
Questions Before Reading – Questions for the reader to consider and answer prior to beginning the
readings for that section. These questions are designed to help the reader explore their own
views on some of the topics discussed in each section. Taking time to thoughtfully answer these
questions prior to reading the selected stories will help you appreciate the issues raised in each
story more fully.
Discussion Questions – Questions for the class participants to discuss during the class session. Please
allow time for everyone to speak to each question, without monopolizing discussion time.
Discernment Activity – Designed to allow class participants to explore the themes raised in each section
from another angle.
Prayer of Discernment – A prayer for openness to divine guidance on each theme.
Pastoral Care – Tips for ministering to members and congregations dealing with the challenges outlined
in each section.
Before you read the selections for each lesson, please review “Exploring the Scriptures” and complete
the “Questions Before Reading” section. Each class time will include the “Discussion Questions,”
“Discernment Activity,” and “Prayer of Discernment.”
Terminology
Throughout Homosexual Saints, the acronym GLBT (Gay, Lesbian, Bisexual and Transgender) is used.
That acronym has since given way to LGBT (Lesbian, Gay, bisexual and Transgender), which is used in
this study guide.
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Homosexual Saints – The Community of Christ Experience
How to Use this Study Guide
To assist with clarity, and to help with terms with which the reader may not be familiar, a Glossary is
included with the study guide.
In order to have a respectful conversation, when referring to LGBT individuals please try to limit
discussion to the terms provided within the glossary. Other terms (like “homo,” “queer,” etc.) are
considered derogatory and deeply offensive.
Discussion Guidelines
For Discussion Guidelines, please see “Pastoral Care” on page 8.
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Homosexual Saints – The Community of Christ Experience
Lesson One – History
Lesson One – History
Exploring the Scriptures
It is imperative to understand that when you are truly
baptized into Christ you become part of a new creation. By
taking on the life and mind of Christ, you increasingly view
yourselves and others from a changed perspective. Former
ways of defining people by economic status, social class, sex,
gender, or ethnicity no longer are primary. Through the
gospel of Christ a new community of tolerance, reconciliation,
unity in diversity, and love is being born as a visible sign of
the coming reign of God.
Doctrine & Covenants Section 164:5
This counsel, presented by President Stephen M. Veazey and
approved at World Conference in 2010, speaks to the
reconciling nature of Christian faith. When one sees through
the eyes of Christ, divisive categories fall away. Seen through
the eyes of Christ, every person is first and foremost a
beloved child of God.
This changed perspective prevents us from seeing others as
“one of us” or “one of them.” It precludes dividing creation
along lines of power and privilege. When we view others as
deeply loved persons of inestimable worth, we are
compelled towards love and reconciliation no matter how we
are different.
How often do we meet this challenge—individually and as a
church? Do we strive to take on the life and mind of Christ?
Or do we insist on seeing others with our flawed, human
eyes? How can we more fully accept what it means to be a
part of this new creation?
3
“[E]very person who
walks through our
doors will be received
with open arms. We
will listen to the life
stories of each person
who graces our
fellowship and
embrace them in love.
On this there can be no
compromise.”
W. Grant McMurray
“The Vision that Transforms Us”
1998 World Conference Sermon
Homosexual Saints – The Community of Christ Experience
Lesson One – History
Questions before Reading
Readings
(Page numbers refer to
Homosexual Saints)
Introduction
1. How has our culture’s understanding of sexual orientation
and gender identity (their classification, their roots, and
their expression) changed over the years? What about the
understanding of these issues in our church? What do you
think has contributed to this change in understanding?
1
Doctrine & Covenants
Section 163 – See Additional
Resources at the end of this
lesson
2. What does it mean to be a church with an open cannon of
scripture? How do we balance old understandings with
newly revealed wisdom?
3. How can the church faithfully respond when new
information (scientific, sociological, or experiential)
challenges previously held beliefs?
Doctrine & Covenants
Section 164 – See Additional
Resources at the end of this
lesson
Discussion Questions
1. Much of shift in the church’s policies on homosexuality discussed in this section resulted from
changes in the cultural attitudes and understanding of sexual orientation and gender identity.
Does a church lose credibility if it changes with the times? How so? Does it lose credibility if it
does not? How so?
2. Doctrine and Covenants 163:7a-d deals with the proper use of scripture. Does this guidance on
the role and limitations of scripture differ from previous church positions? From what misuses of
scripture do you think the church is called to repent? How did the instruction in section 163
affect your personal view of sexual orientation and gender identity? In what way does your
understanding of scripture inform your position on issues of sexual orientation and gender
identity?
3. Section 163: 11a-b and Section 164:7a-d deal with the challenges of being a prophetic, global
church—the need for cultural sensitivity and local expression. How does the church balance the
competing goals of universal principles and cultural diversity? How do the Enduring Principles of
the “Worth of All Persons” and “Unity in Diversity” apply in these situations?
4. Section 164: 6a sets forth the principles that are to guide our relationships with others, namely:
Christ-like love, mutual respect, responsibility, justice, covenant, and faithfulness. Can these
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Homosexual Saints – The Community of Christ Experience
Lesson One – History
principles be compatible with LGBT relationships? Why or why not? The Community of Christ
does not currently recognize covenantal relationships between same-sex couples (commitment
ceremonies, civil unions, or marriage). Is church recognition necessary for a covenant to exist?
5. In Section 164:6b the church is called to “more fully…understand and consistently apply these
principles” (enumerated above) while taking care not to condone “selfish, irresponsible,
promiscuous, degrading or abusive relationships.” What does that application look like in
practice? What relationships would the church affirm and uphold? What form should that
affirmation take? What relationships would it continue to condemn? What form should that
condemnation take?
Discernment Activity:
Whether we like to admit it or not, we all stereotype people. We do it for one simple reason—it
makes things easier. Labeling others, and making assumptions based on those labels, allows us
to classify people quickly, without having to take the time to get to know them.
In order to help us move beyond stereotype, it is important that we first understand how our
own particular ways of stereotyping affect the way we view others.
For this activity you will each need a pen and 21 index cards.
On the index cards, write out the following words (one word per card): Man, Woman, Young,
Old, Middle-Aged, Single, Married, Partnered, Divorced, Widowed, Liberal, Conservative,
Centrist, Christian, Buddhist, Muslim, Agnostic, Atheist, Poor, Wealthy, and Middle Class
Mark the back of each card with the corresponding number. Arrange the cards, numbers up, in
the following piles:
Pile 1: Cards describing Sex
Pile 2: Cards describing Age
Pile 3: Cards describing Relationship Status
Pile 4: Cards describing Political Leaning
Pile 5: Cards describing Religious Views
Pile 6: Cards describing Financial Status
Have each person in the group take one card from each of their piles. Imagine the person your
cards describe. Write out answers to the following questions:
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Homosexual Saints – The Community of Christ Experience
Lesson One – History
1.
2.
3.
4.
5.
Where does this person live?
What does this person look like?
What does this person do for a living?
Who are this person’s friends?
What does this person do for fun?
Shuffle your cards and have someone else randomly draw two cards and replace them with
another card from the corresponding piles. (For example, if the person draws cards from piles 2
and 5, replace them with another card from pile 2 and one from pile 5.) Write down the
answers to the same five questions. Explain what has changed? Why?
Prayer of Discernment
God of Ages,
You have walked with us from the beginning.
Yet we confess, we often stumble
And we sometimes lose our way.
Continue to guide us in our journey with You.
When we wander in the wilderness of doubt and uncertainty,
Lead us back to the path of the disciple
Help us to honor our traditions, without idolizing them—
To treasure our differences without giving way to division.
Direct us as we journey in faith;
Embolden us as we face the unknown.
You are our compass,
Our True North.
Direct our hearts,
our minds,
our steps.
Unifying Lord,
Grant that we may take this journey
arm in arm—with each other and with You.
These things we pray in Jesus’ holy name, Amen.
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Homosexual Saints – The Community of Christ Experience
Lesson One – History
Additional Resources
Affirmation of Human Diversity
Prior to the 1992 World Conference, the First Presidency appointed The Human Diversity Committee to
study issues of prejudice and racism. The committee drafted a resolution on Human Diversity, known as
Resolution 1226. The resolution was adopted at World Conference on April 10, 1992, making it the
church’s official and authoritative statement on discrimination and prejudice. It was the first time the
church publically denounced prejudice—specifically “fear, hate and abuse”—based on a person’s sexual
orientation.
The resolution contained the following “Affirmation of Human Diversity”
“The gospel of Jesus Christ reveals the unqualified love of God and the inestimable worth of all persons.
An awareness of God’s love and of the love of others is essential to human fulfillment. For these
reasons, we celebrate the rich diversity of human life.
However, human beings often fear, hate, and abuse each other because of ignorance about such factors
as socioeconomic status, culture, race, gender, age, size, sexual orientation, and mental or physical
disability. Such prejudicial behavior undermines the personal and spiritual development of both abuser
and abused, and denies the mutual benefits of shared giftedness.”
-- World Conference Resolution 1226: Human Diversity (adopted 1992)
Doctrine & Covenants Sections 163 & 164
The following passages of Section 163 deal with scripture and the challenge of being a prophetic and
global church. In many ways, these passages are ultimately what allowed for what follows in Section
164—allowing us to move beyond certain biblical passages about specific behaviors to a more global
understanding of the principles of right relationship, as well as the flexibility to allow for more local
decision-making as to how those principles are to be expressed.
Section 163
163:7a. Scripture is an indispensable witness to the Eternal Source of light and truth, which cannot be
fully contained in any finite vessel or language. Scripture has been written and shaped by human
authors through experiences of revelation and ongoing inspiration of the Holy Spirit in the midst of time
and culture.
163:7b. Scripture is not to be worshiped or idolized. Only God, the Eternal One of whom scripture
testifies, is worthy of worship. God’s nature, as revealed in Jesus Christ and affirmed by the Holy Spirit,
provides the ultimate standard by which any portion of scripture should be interpreted and applied.
163:7c. It is not pleasing to God when any passage of scripture is used to diminish or oppress races,
genders, or classes of human beings. Much physical and emotional violence has been done to some of
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Homosexual Saints – The Community of Christ Experience
Lesson One – History
God’s beloved children through the misuse of scripture. The church is called to confess and repent of
such attitudes and practices.
163:7d. Scripture, prophetic guidance, knowledge, and discernment in the faith community must walk
hand in hand to reveal the true will of God. Follow this pathway, which is the way of the Living Christ,
and you will discover more than sufficient light for the journey ahead.
163:11a. God is calling for a prophetic community to emerge, drawn from the nations of the world, that
is characterized by uncommon devotion to the compassion and peace of God revealed in Jesus Christ.
Through divine grace and wisdom, this faith community has been given abundant gifts, resources, and
opportunities to equip it to become such a people. Chief among these is the power of community in
Christ expressed locally in distinctive fashions while upholding a unity of vision, foundational beliefs, and
mission throughout the world.
Section 164
164:5 It is imperative to understand that when you are truly baptized into Christ you become part of a
new creation. By taking on the life and mind of Christ, you increasingly view yourselves and others from
a changed perspective. Former ways of defining people by economic status, social class, sex, gender, or
ethnicity no longer are primary. Through the gospel of Christ a new community of tolerance,
reconciliation, unity in diversity, and love is being born as a visible sign of the coming reign of God.
164:6a. As revealed in Christ, God, the Creator of all, ultimately is concerned about behaviors and
relationships that uphold the worth and giftedness of all people and that protect the most vulnerable.
Such relationships are to be rooted in the principles of Christ-like love, mutual respect, responsibility,
justice, covenant, and faithfulness, against which there is no law.
164:6b. If the church more fully will understand and consistently apply these principles, questions
arising about responsible human sexuality; gender identities, roles, and relationships; marriage; and
other issues may be resolved according to God’s divine purposes. Be assured, nothing within these
principles condones selfish, irresponsible, promiscuous, degrading, or abusive relationships.
164:6c. Faced with difficult questions, many properly turn to scripture to find insight and inspiration.
Search the scriptures for the Living Word that brings life, healing, and hope to all. Embrace and proclaim
these liberating truths.
164:7a. A worldwide prophetic church must develop cultural awareness and sensitivity to distinguish
between issues that should be addressed by the World Conference and those that are best resolved
nationally or in other ways.
Pastoral Care
Discussing the history and the future of the church, especially related to issues involving
sexuality and the context and authority of scripture, can be very contentious. As we move
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Homosexual Saints – The Community of Christ Experience
Lesson One – History
forward, let us recall the words of former Prophet and President Grant McMurray in his 2002
World Conference Address:
“This is not a dialogue between saints and sinners. It is a dialogue between believers,
between disciples, over differences that are real and honorable. I ask us, as members of
the Community of Christ, to be willing to share with each other in that exploration.”
It is important to understand that there is room for people of goodwill to disagree on the topic
of sexual orientation and gender identity. It is also important that the conversation remain one
of good will. To that end, here are a few principles to keep in mind as we journey together
through this course:
Be respectful. Refrain from name calling, loaded language (such as “bigoted” or “perverted”)
interrupting, shouting, etc.
Listen, listen, listen. Do not monopolize the discussion. Allow everyone who wishes to address
the question at hand.
Speak when lead. Just as it is important to listen, it is important to speak your truth. Govern
yourself to be sure you make your own contribution and make sure others have the
opportunity to do the same. If there are 10 people in class, you should be speaking about 10%
of the time that is open for discussion.
Use correct terminology. When discussing a person’s sexual orientation or gender identity,
limit your terminology to those terms provided in the glossary included in this study guide
(page 55). Other terms often have a negative or offensive connotation that will not be helpful
to the discussion.
Do not assign motivations to others. You can speak for yourself—no one else. Refrain from
statements like “Most of us feel...”; “Many people have told me...”; or “People with that
opinion are just hateful.” Recognize that a number of factors may contribute to a person
holding the views that he or she does, and attempting to ascribe underlying reasons to
someone’s actions is unhelpful.
Avoid broad generalizations. “All x are/think/believe y” statements, are usually untrue and do
not add to the discussion.
Recognize the limits of your experience. If you have never known someone who is openly
LGBT, do not assume you know the challenges and struggles that an LGBT person faces.
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Homosexual Saints – The Community of Christ Experience
Lesson Two – Parents’ Stories
Lesson Two – Parents’ Stories
Exploring the Scriptures
For it was you who formed my
inward parts;
You knit me together in my
mother’s womb.
I praise you, for I am fearfully and
wonderfully made.
Psalm 139: 13—14a (NRSV)
In this Psalm, attributed to David, the psalmist speaks to a
divine creator who is intimately familiar with God’s creation.
This scripture illustrates a process of creation that involves
God knowing and forming our character (“inward parts”) as
well as our bodies (“knit*ting+ together”) before we were
even born.
Do we believe in such intimate connection with God today—
that our core character is not only known by God, but was
formed by God in the first place? If we affirm a God who
forms our innate natures, how are we called to respond to
the divinely formed innate nature of others? What if that
innate nature includes sexuality or gender identity?
10
“People with GLBT
children or relatives
have a strong need to
say openly that they
loved them and knew
that God loved them,
too”
Gail Biller
Homosexual Saints – The Community of Christ Experience
Lesson Two – Parents’ Stories
Readings
Questions before Reading
(Page numbers refer to
Homosexual Saints)
Ecstasy and Agony:
Rosie’s Legacy in the Gay
Community
61
Our Family Journey
65
We Love Them, But
69
Love Your Children
75
Blessed by a Gay Son
78
My Brother’s Keeper
103
1) What expectations do you have of those you love
regarding their lives (job, potential partner, children,
faith, etc.)? For instance, do you encourage your
children or other young family members to complete
a degree and pursue a professional career path
instead of manual work? Would it damage your
relationship if they left the Community of Christ for
another church, or followed another faith altogether?
How attached are you to these expectations?
2) What do you want most for your
children/family/loved ones?
3) Do you think the parents/family/loved ones of LGBT
people want the same things for their loved ones as
everyone else does?
Discussion Questions
1) Without outing anyone who is not publically open about his or her sexual orientation or
gender identity, do any of you know or love someone who is LGBT? Has knowing his or
her sexual orientation changed your relationship? In what way?
2) Many of the stories in this section mention either the contemplation of suicide or a
suicide attempt, how would you feel to learn that your child had contemplated suicide
over something they were afraid to discuss with you?
3) Two of the stories mentioned the saying, “When the child comes out of the closet, the
parents go in.” What does this mean to you? How can the church reach out to parents in
this situation? Keep in mind that many parents will assume that the church is hostile
unless there is a deliberate effort to show that it is not.
4) In many of this section’s readings, the parents say the family became closer after their
child came out. How might this be the case?
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Homosexual Saints – The Community of Christ Experience
Lesson Two – Parents’ Stories
5) In each of these stories, the parents accepted or came to accept the sexual orientation
of their child and the family relationship was maintained. Do you think it is possible to
maintain a relationship with a person without accepting their sexuality or gender
identity? What would such a relationship look like?
Discernment Activity
Take a few minutes to disperse and answer the following questions on your own, as honestly as
possible. When everyone has had time to think about his or her answers, come back together
and discuss them as a group.
1. Imagine your child (or, if you are not a parent, someone with whom you are very close)
telling you that he or she is gay. What would your first reaction be? What emotions
would you experience? Are there any that stand out in particular?
2. What questions would you have? Where would you turn for answers? Would you seek
guidance from anyone in your congregation/ church? Why or why not?
3. How can the church, as the body of Christ, reach out to people and families in this
situation? What would such a ministry look like?
Prayer of Discernment
Heavenly Parent,
You have been Mother and Father to us all. You have formed, known, and loved us from the
beginning. Help us to feel Your love, not only for ourselves, but for all Your children.
We confess that we are not always open to hear Your voice. Too often we substitute our own
judgment for Yours. Help us to open our minds, hearts, and spirits to Your will.
Meet us in the busyness of our lives. Help us to create a place of stillness, where we can hear
You speaking. Grant us patience as we wait with You and for You.
Show us how to reach out to all Your children. Guide us as we strive to understand our calling
to be a prophetic people.
Eternal Source of Peace, lead us as we labor to more fully embrace and embody Your shalom.
These things we ask in Jesus’ name. Amen.
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Homosexual Saints – The Community of Christ Experience
Lesson Two – Parents’ Stories
Pastoral Care
Learning that your child or family member is LGBT can be difficult. Parents may struggle with
“how” or “why” this happened. This may be particularly true of older generations, who were
often taught that parents “made” their children gay.
It can be a confusing time. It requires parents to reevaluate their expectations of what their
child’s life would be like—even expectations they didn’t realize they had.
It can also be a scary time, as parents suddenly have to worry that their child will face fear,
hatred, and possibly violence from others because of their sexual orientation or gender
identity.
A few things to keep in mind when the child of someone you love comes out:
Listen. Parents need a safe place to talk through their feelings. Allow them to do that. Try not
to interject or offer any opinions unless asked.
Be a safe place. It’s important to keep everything confidential unless you have explicit
permission to share. Just because a person is out to his or her parents, it does not mean he or
she is out to everyone—unthinkingly “outing” someone only makes a difficult situation worse.
Do not judge. Whatever your personal feelings, keep in mind that learning a family member is
LGBT will elicit a range of thoughts and feelings. Parents and family have enough of their own
stuff to deal with—don’t add yours.
Know your resources. You may have never been here before, but others have. PFLAG (Parents,
Families and Friends of Lesbians and Gays) is a great resource where parents and families can
get more information or meet with others in their area who have been there. PFLAG has
chapters in every state in the US. Go to www.PFLAG.org to find a local chapter.
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Lesson Two – Parents’ Stories
What to Do When Someone Comes Out to You
In The Beginning
Someone you know and care about is gay, lesbian, bisexual, or transgender. He or she has
“come out” to you, either directly in conversation or by letting you know in some other way.
If you take nothing else away from this guide, remember this: that person in your life who
opened up to you made a conscious choice to let you into his or her life. This is an act of
trust. And in taking this step, that person has said that he or she wants your relationship to
be based on truth.
Now, it is up to both of you to find the courage to accept the challenge of honesty. That
means being honest with yourself—acknowledging your feelings and coming to terms with
them. And it means being honest with the person in your life—asking questions you need to
ask, learning the facts and making the effort to understand the realities of being a GLBT
individual so that you can be truly informed and supportive.
“A Straight Guide to LGBT Americans”
—PFLAG and the Human Rights Campaign
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Homosexual Saints – The Community of Christ Experience
Lesson Three – Coming Out / The Journey
Lesson Three – Coming Out / The Journey
Exploring the Scriptures
As many of you as were baptized into Christ have clothed
yourself with Christ. There is no longer Jew or Greek, there is
no longer slave or free, there is no longer male or female; for
all of you are one in Christ Jesus. And if you belong to Christ,
then you are Abraham’s offspring, heirs according to the
promise.
Galatians 3: 27-29 (NRSV)
This is not just a passage emphasizing oneness. This scripture
is actually pretty revolutionary: calling out the more divisive
categories of the day—the categories that determined power
and privilege—and declaring them void. Classifications that
could (and did) divide Christians are declared meaningless.
Paul is asserting that the most important thing is being a
citizen of the kingdom of God. If a person is “in Christ”, that
is the only label that can be appropriately applied. Nothing
else matters.
Do we affirm that same primacy now? Or do we classify
people by other labels? What divides us as a church today?
Do we classify others by those labels before we term them
“Christian”? How does Paul’s message about divisive
categories within the body of Christ challenge us today?
15
“’Coming out’ for an
honest gay Christian
can be the most
devastating
experience of a
lifetime”
—Bob Swoffer
Homosexual Saints – The Community of Christ Experience
Lesson Three – Coming Out / The Journey
Questions before Reading
Readings
(Page numbers refer to
Homosexual Saints)
A Story of Grace and Healing
58
Letter to a Married Gay
Mormon Friend
113
(Almost) Passing Third Grade
161
Graceland’s Andrei
169
1) This section deals with Coming Out and The Journey—in
the sense that coming to terms with one’s sexuality, or
one’s views on sexuality in general, is a process. Think of a
time when your views or beliefs about a person or topic
changed. What brought about that change? Was it
gradual, or did your new perspective suddenly crystallize
in your mind? How drastically did your position shift? How
was that change received by the people close to you?
Were they resistant? Supportive?
2) Think about a major change that has occurred in your life.
Are you fundamentally the same person as you were
before? How have you changed? How have you remained
the same? Did people see or treat you differently after this
change?
3) Think of something about yourself that very few people
know. Why have you kept this a secret? How would your
relationships change with other people if they knew?
God Accepts Me as a Gay
Man
172
Trying to Become a
Community of Christ
201
Discussion Questions
1) The stories in this section show people coming out in a variety of ways: Jesse Davis’s early step
out of the closet (and the quick shove back in), Kip Dawson suddenly blurting out that he was
gay, David Swart being so unaware of the possibility of being gay that someone else had to
suggest it to him, and Andrei Dzhunkovsky treating coming out at Graceland as a non-event.
Through Bob Swoffer’s correspondence with an unnamed married, gay, Mormon man, we catch
a glimpse of a man struggling to come to terms with his sexuality in the context of his faith, and
his heterosexual marriage. Were any of these stories what you imagined a coming out story
would be? Did any surprise you? Did any resonate with you in particular? Why?
2) One of the themes across the stories was the idea of being out in one setting, but not another.
Jesse Davis/ “Corkie” managed to live as a boy at school—something that would have been
impossible at home. Andrei Dzhunkovsky was out and proud at Graceland, while his family in
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Homosexual Saints – The Community of Christ Experience
Lesson Three – Coming Out / The Journey
Russia had no idea. Why might someone choose to live such parallel lives? How do you think it
would feel to try to keep those two worlds separate?
3) David Swart presented two different experiences with being out at church. When he first came
out, he found being at church too painful because of the church’s stance on homosexuals. Years
later, “bolstered by *his+ reception from the Saints in Lexington,” (a “gay-friendly” fellowship) he
was willing to reach out to another congregation. After getting to know members of the
Houston congregation, he was comfortable coming out to them as well. What do you think
accounts for the different experiences coming out at church? What, if anything, can we take
away from these varied experiences? Is there anything we can do, in our own congregations, to
make the possibility of someone leaving the church, as Swart initially did, less likely?
4) Kip Dawson wrote that he “decided to marry because that was what I was supposed to do.” In
fact, three men in this section were in heterosexual marriages prior to coming out as gay. Do
you think the expectations of others—as a society, as a faith, and as a church—conspire to keep
people in the closet? How so?
How would you characterize the church’s treatment of LGBT people who choose to come out of
the closet—at the World Church level, at the mission center level, at the congregational level?
Have we, as a church, led LGBT people to believe that we will only accept them if they stay in
the closet? If LGBT people believe it is better to remain closeted at church, do we have any
obligation to correct that perception? Why or why not?
5) John Billings described his own journey on the issue of homosexuality and the stark change in
his attitudes toward LGBT individuals as a result of both the leadings of the Holy Spirit and
through interaction the members of GALA. He writes, “My fear and repulsion were replaced
with a wonderful spirit of love and acceptance.” Have your views on sexual orientation or
gender identity changed as a result of spending time with an LGBT person? In what ways? Have
you felt the leadings of the Holy Spirit on these issues? How did you feel called to respond?
Discernment Activity
Take a moment to think about something you have not widely disclosed for fear of what others
might think. Pick something that you are willing to share, and something that is yours—and
only yours—to tell. How personal is up to you, but try to be as open as you can.
Write a word or two regarding your secret on a 3x5 card, and tape the card to your chest. For
instance, if you secretly enjoy trashy TV you might write “trashy TV” or the name of a program
on your card. If you took money from the collection plate as a child, you might write “stole.” If
you’ve been pretending to bake the desserts you’ve been bringing to potluck, you might write
“store bought.”
When everyone has affixed their label, go around the room and read them out. Give a 3-4
sentence explanation of what you are revealing.
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Homosexual Saints – The Community of Christ Experience
Lesson Three – Coming Out / The Journey
Discussion
1) How did you feel about having to “out” yourself? Did you feel safe sharing about
yourself? Wary? Afraid? Did you think of a more closely-held secret first, but opt for
something safer? If so, why?
2) Why hadn’t you disclosed this before?
3) How do you feel now that you’ve shared this part of yourself?
4) How do you feel about hearing what everyone else shared?
5) If you had something much more personal or much riskier to disclose, what would need
to happen for you to feel safe enough to share? What would you be most afraid of?
Prayer of Discernment
Author of Life,
Meet us in the messiness of our “work in progress” lives.
Lead us to hear not our own voices, but Yours.
Help us to listen to the stories of others—not tell them what their stories should be.
Fill us with compassion, care and Christ-like love for all Your children.
Let Your Spirit guide us as we seek to more fully understand Your will.
Grant that we may speak words of comfort and of peace to those aching to hear them.
Teach us to understand our place in the still-unfolding story all around us.
These things we ask in Jesus’ holy name. Amen.
Pastoral Care
Coming out can be a very scary time. An LGBT person who chooses to be open about his or her
sexual orientation or gender identity may be met with acceptance and love from the people
with whom he or she is close. This disclosure may also be met with fear, anger, disgust, and a
loss of relationship with those he or she loves.
Sadly, LGBT individuals often encounter the greatest rejection from members of the religious
community. Too often, coming out to one’s faith community is met with condemnation and
judgment, rather than Christ-like love. Such a rejection can cause an LGBT person to leave the
church—or the faith altogether.
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Homosexual Saints – The Community of Christ Experience
Lesson Three – Coming Out / The Journey
Regardless of your personal feelings on homosexuality and gender identity, there are several
simple ways to prevent someone’s coming out from being an ugly experience.
Assure the person that he or she is dearly loved by God. As a matter of faith, we uphold the
worth of all persons and affirm that ALL are called to the life of the church. Now is not the time
to enter into a debate about scriptural interpretations; it is a time to affirm to the person who
has come out that he or she is a beloved child of God. Period.
Assume confidentiality. Just because a person has shared his or her sexual orientation or
gender identity with you, it does not mean he or she is out to anyone else. Every LGBT
individual needs to be allowed to come out to others in his or her own time. You have been
entrusted with very personal information. Do not break that trust.
It’s okay to have questions. You may not know or understand what this means for the person
coming out to you, or to your relationship. It’s okay to ask “dumb questions”; just keep your
questions respectful: What does this mean? When did you know? What made you decide to
come out? What do you need from me?
Don’t ask about sexual history. Being openly heterosexual does not give anyone the right to
inquire into a person’s sex life; neither does being openly LGBT.
It’s okay to need a little time. Just like it takes time for an LGBT person to terms with his or her
sexual orientation or gender identity, it may take time for you to come to terms with this new
information. If you need time to process, say so.
Assure the person that you still care for him or her. Even if you don’t yet know how you feel
about this new information, it’s important to reassure the person who has just come out to you
that knowing doesn’t make you care about him or her any less.
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Homosexual Saints – The Community of Christ Experience
Lesson Four – LGBT and Priesthood
“I naively believed that, since I had
been an accepted, loved, valued,
productive church member all of my
life, I would be dealt with fairly.”
Lesson Four – LGBT and Priesthood
Exploring the Scriptures
Rogene Smith McKiernan
About noon the next day, as they were on their journey approaching
the city, Peter went up on the roof to pray. He became hungry and wanted something to eat; and while it was being
prepared, he fell into a trance. He saw the heaven opened and something like a large sheet coming down, being
lowered to the ground by its four corners. In it were all kinds of four-footed creatures and reptiles and birds of the
air. Then he heard a voice saying, “Get up, Peter; kill and eat.” But Peter said, “By no means, Lord; for I have never
eaten anything that is profane or unclean.” Then the voice said to him, again, a second time, “What God has made
clean, you must not call profane.” This happened three times and then the thing was suddenly taken up to heaven.
Acts 10: 9—16 (NRSV)
For the Hebrew people, laws about what was or was not clean were extremely important. As
such, not eating certain foods and not coming into contact with certain people—known as the
purity codes—was of the utmost importance. There were complicated rules and rituals to be
obeyed about what one had to do if one came in contact with something or someone who was
“unclean.” In this account, God makes it clear that God and only God has the first and last word
on what is and is not “unclean.” While this scripture was taken literally as a freedom from the
Jewish customs about food, it has historically also been interpreted as a metaphor for bringing
the gospel to the Gentiles—those who had been previously regarded as unworthy to hear it.
After receiving this vision, Peter converted the first Gentile, a man named Cornelius, and his
entire household. Before this vision, it was unthinkable for a Jew to so much as enter a Gentile
home, but Peter specifically cites this vision as his reason to enter. At this conversion, the Holy
Spirit was poured out on the Gentiles, who had previously been thought unworthy. In the light
of the redemptive act of Jesus, it is not for us to determine who is or isn’t worthy. Even
something that the old laws held to be “profane or unclean” can no longer be seen that way
when God declares it to be clean.
How does this scripture challenge us today? Do we exclude people from the grace of God? How
does this scripture inform our views about priesthood? If we affirm the divine nature of a
priesthood call, what does it mean when such a call is made to an LGBT individual? Does the call
mean that God has declared that person worthy to serve? Is it a mistake? Are some calls “more
divine” than others? Is it for us to judge another’s call as profane? The scripture tells us that it
took Peter three times of hearing this declaration before he accepted it. This message was so
radical, that even though he believed his vision to be divine (note his use of the term “Lord”),
Peter still argued each time. Do we argue with new counsel or new understandings because
they are different from the way we believed in the past? As a prophetic people, how are we
called to respond?
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Homosexual Saints – The Community of Christ Experience
Lesson Four – LGBT and Priesthood
Readings
(Page numbers refer to
Homosexual Saints)
Silenced After a Life of
Service
133
When My Mental Suitcase
Popped Open
148
This is My Church, You’re
Stuck with Me!
153
Learning to Love the Unloved
185
Nurtured by the Spirit in the
Community of Christ
197
Questions before Reading
1. Take a moment to think about what you expect from
priesthood members. What are your expectations
about their public ministry? What expectations do
you have about the way they live—their habits, their
home life, their relationships with others? How
important is it to you that they meet these
expectations?
2. What do you think are barriers to priesthood office?
Should a person’s age, gender, marital status, dating
habits, hobbies, personal conduct, or personal
theology be taken into account before calling him or
her to priesthood office?
3. What is more important to you—the fruits of a
person’s ministry or his or her compliance with
church policy? Can you accept the ministry of a
person who drinks? One who doesn’t tithe regularly?
Someone who gossips? Someone who engages in
shady or unfair business practices? Someone who
dishonors a monogamous, committed relationship?
What are your “deal-breakers”?
4. Many people in the LGBT community are reluctant to
use the words “sin” and “homosexual” in the same
sentence because they do not want to reinforce any
association between the two. Community of Christ’s
1982 policy on same-sex relationships states that a
homosexual orientation is not sinful in and of itself.
Can you accept ministry from or work to fulfill the
ministry of the church with a person of a different
sexual orientation? Why or why not?
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Homosexual Saints – The Community of Christ Experience
Lesson Four – LGBT and Priesthood
Discussion Questions
1. The Saints in this section faced a wide array of reactions to their ministry when others
found out about their sexual orientation. Rogene Smith McKiernan was silenced and her
ministry ended, while Stephanie Shaw’s ministry was accepted and her congregation
declared itself to be a welcoming one. Allan Fiscus was silenced, treated like a
pedophile, then later, had his priesthood reinstated. What accounts for such varied
reactions to a priesthood member coming out?
The Current policy, stating that “a practicing homosexual” should not be called to
priesthood office, and that engaging in homosexual behavior is grounds for silencing, is
enforced to varying degrees depending on the local pastors and administrators. How
does varying enforcement impact the church, its priesthood and its members?
2. Should a person’s changing life circumstances affect their priesthood office? If a person
is single and subsequently gets married, should their priesthood be reevaluated? If a
person moves in with a partner without being married? Married and gets divorced?
Comes out as gay, lesbian, or bisexual? Comes out as transgender? Decides to transition
from one gender to another?
3. There are numerous examples in Community of Christ of priesthood calls that have been
affirmed by the pastor, accepted by the designee, approved by the proper jurisdiction,
and resulted in ordination of an LGBT person. What is the reason for this situation? Has
someone necessarily made a mistake? Should pastors fully investigate the sexual
behavior of all potential ordinands?
4. For most priesthood members, silencing carries with it a tremendous sense of rejection.
In each of the stories in this section, it was something that caused the person who was
silenced to leave the church. Some came back, one did not. If you were a priesthood
member, how would you feel at being told that you were no longer worthy to provide
ministry? Would you be able to remain a member?
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Homosexual Saints – The Community of Christ Experience
Lesson Four – LGBT and Priesthood
Discernment Exercise
For the following exercise, break off into small groups of 2-3 people. You will each need paper
and pencil.
There are two broad orders of priesthood in Community of Christ: the Aaronic Priesthood and
the Melchisedec Priesthood. The Aaronic Order (deacon, teacher, and priest) are called to be
ministers of presence, each embodying various aspects of Christ’s ministry. The Melchisedec
Order (Elder, High Priest, Seventy, Evangelist, and Bishop) is called to minister outside the
congregation, build discipleship, and help the church focus on how to minister to the world.
Deacons—Christ as Comforter; focused on
service, sharing and invitation
High Priests—Ministers of Vision; often
called to be the presiding officer of a
congregation, focused on guiding
individuals and congregations to better
discipleship
Teachers—Christ as Peacemaker; focused
on encouraging, the worth of persons,
peace building and conflict resolution
Evangelists—Ministers of Blessing; a
specialized office of High Priest whose role
involves being a spiritual companion and
counselor
Priests—Christ as Friend; focused on
ministry with families, in congregations and
in the community
Elders—Ministers of Mission; focused on
sacraments, service, presiding, teaching and
learning, the Spirit, leadership and peace
and justice
Bishops—Ministers of Generosity; a
specialized office of High Priest whose role
involves being a steward to the financial
resources of the church
Seventy—Ministers of Witness; a
specialized office of Elder focused
specifically on inviting and witnessing
Based on the area of ministerial focus, as well as any experience you may have with men and
women serving in these priesthood capacities, describe the personalities, skills and attributes
you think are important for serving in each of these roles. For instance, a bishop might be
comfortable dealing with finances, a deacon might have a gift for logistics, and a seventy might
be comfortable giving his or her testimony.
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Homosexual Saints – The Community of Christ Experience
Lesson Four – LGBT and Priesthood
Individually, write down 3-4 attributes a person in each priesthood role would need to serve
effectively in that capacity. Now write down any attributes that would hinder service in each of
these roles. Compare your lists as a small group. Are there any areas of overlap between your
lists? Try to agree on a final list for your small group of the 3-4 characteristics needed and to be
avoided for each of the priesthood offices.
When all the small groups have finished, come back to the entire group to share your lists.
Questions for the Group
1. How well do the lists generated by the different small groups align?
2. Did any group list a person’s sexual orientation or gender identity as a necessary or
precluded characteristic? Did the groups come up with anything that would disqualify an
LGBT person?
3. Are there life situations—such as relationship issues, domestic violence, or separation—
that affect one’s ability to serve in their ministerial role? If so, in what ways?
4. Priesthood was limited to men for most of the history of the church, with women
serving for only the last 25 years. Do you think there is a difference in how men and
women serve in these roles? Are there different perspectives or experiences that a
woman might bring to these offices? Has the church been harmed by or benefitted from
the addition of women into the priesthood?
5. Are there different perspectives or experiences that an LGBT person might bring to
these offices? Do you think the church would be harmed by or would benefit from
having these additional experiences and perspectives represented in its priesthood
offices?
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Homosexual Saints – The Community of Christ Experience
Lesson Four – LGBT and Priesthood
Deacon
Christ as Comforter; focused on service, sharing and invitation
Desirable Traits
Undesirable Traits
Teacher
Christ as Peacemaker; focused on encouraging, the worth of
persons, peace building and conflict resolution
Desirable Traits
Undesirable Traits
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Homosexual Saints – The Community of Christ Experience
Lesson Four – LGBT and Priesthood
Priest
Christ as Friend; focused on ministry with families, in
congregations and in the community
Desirable Traits
Undesirable Traits
Elder
Minister of Mission; focused on sacraments, service, presiding,
teaching and learning, the Spirit, leadership and peace and
justice
Desirable Traits
Undesirable Traits
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Homosexual Saints – The Community of Christ Experience
Lesson Four – LGBT and Priesthood
Seventy
Minister of Witness; a specialized office of Elder focused
specifically on inviting and witnessing
Desirable Traits
Undesirable Traits
High Priest
Minister of Vision; often called to be the presiding officer of a
congregation, focused on guiding individuals and congregations
to better discipleship
Desirable Traits
Undesirable Traits
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Homosexual Saints – The Community of Christ Experience
Lesson Four – LGBT and Priesthood
Evangelist
Minister of Blessing; a specialized office of High Priest whose
role involves being a spiritual companion and counselor
Desirable Traits
Undesirable Traits
Bishop
Ministers of Generosity; a specialized office of High Priest
whose role involves being a steward to the financial resources
of the church
Desirable Traits
Undesirable Traits
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Homosexual Saints – The Community of Christ Experience
Lesson Four – LGBT and Priesthood
Prayer of Discernment
Breath of Life,
Heal us.
Mend our brokenness, that we may tend to the brokenness of others.
Inspire us.
Let Your Spirit fill us, that we may be a light unto others.
Bless us.
Enlighten our minds and souls, that we may come to know You more fully.
Sanctifying God,
Let Your holiness wash over us and make us worthy—
Worthy to hear You.
Quiet the cacophony of daily distractions that drown out Your voice
Humble to listen.
Break through our pride, prejudice, and ego, and help us to discern what matters most for the
journey ahead.
Ready to accept.
Guide us to a better understanding of whom you are calling us to serve, and how we can make
our service worthy in Your eyes.
We ask these things in Jesus’ name, Amen.
Pastoral Care
While the issue of LGBT ordination in the United States has been referred to the 2013 USA
National Conference, the current policy set forth in the 1982 Standing High Council Statement
on Homosexuality remains in effect. That is, homosexuals who are celibate may be called to the
priesthood, while “practicing homosexuals” cannot. Further, people who engage in homosexual
acts should be silenced. (There is no current policy regarding priesthood office for transgender
individuals.)
While the World Church Leadership Council’s 2002 statement “Community, Common Consent,
and the Issue of Homosexuality” acknowledged that exceptions had been made to the policy in
the past, it reaffirmed the 1982 Statement’s place as church policy. The 2002 document did,
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Homosexual Saints – The Community of Christ Experience
Lesson Four – LGBT and Priesthood
however, create a sort of “grandfather clause”—that is, those for whom exceptions had been
made would not be silenced. Currently, as a matter of church policy, no further exceptions will
be permitted. As this policy is subject to review and reinterpretation, please consult your
Mission Center President before taking action regarding priesthood status related to LGBT
persons.
This situation creates some very real tension for LGBT priesthood members, as the priesthood
offices of some members are “safe,” while others face silencing if they are open about their
sexuality.
If someone you care about is being silenced, it is important that you be aware of these two
statements and how they apply to the individual in question.
It is also important to understand that this type of silencing is a devastating experience, given
that someone is being told that who he or she is “immoral”. He or she may feel angry, judged or
even abandoned. Don’t trivialize those feelings.
Some things to bear in mind:
Listen. The person being silenced is likely going through a host of emotions, and could use a
safe place to process. Let him or her talk through everything he or she is experiencing.
Be honest. Do not promise to overrule or overturn current church policy if it is not in your
power to do so. False hope will not help the situation.
Know the appeal process. When an individual is silenced, he or she has multiple opportunities
to appeal the validity of the silence. Often a minister or church member not involved directly in
the silencing action serves as an advocate and spiritual counsel for the silenced priesthood
member until all appeals are concluded (see Church Administrator’s Handbook 2005 ed, pp 3133, online at: www.cofchrist.org/policy ). If you disagree with the silencing, offer to serve as an
advocate or provide a letter of support for the next stage of the process.
Continue to reach out. It is very common for people to distance themselves from the church
after being silenced. Allow the person—and his or her family—the space they need, but make it
clear that you will welcome them if and when they are ready to return.
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Homosexual Saints – The Community of Christ Experience
Lesson Five - Alienation
Lesson Five - Alienation
Exploring the Scriptures
For I am convinced that neither death, nor life, nor angels, nor
rulers, nor things present, nor things to come, nor powers, nor
height, nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to
separate us from the love of God in Christ Jesus our Lord.
Romans 8: 38-39
One of the most beloved scriptures in the Bible, this passage
assures us of the unconquerable love of God for each and every
one of us. There is nothing we can do; nothing “in all creation”
that puts us beyond the love of Jesus.
How does this scripture challenge us today? Having been the
recipients of such boundless love, we are called to extend love to
others. Sadly, we too often fall short. We ask for forgiveness,
grace, and love through our own shortcomings, but are often
unwilling or unable to extend the same to others. If every one of
us is a dearly beloved child of God, that is a powerful testament to
the worth of all persons.
“This church, which I
had devoted my life
to, was not going to
affirm me as a full
person of worth. I felt
betrayed. They placed
conditions on my
acceptance. They
placed conditions on
their love. I would
always be a partial
person in this church.”
Ray Biller
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Homosexual Saints – The Community of Christ Experience
Lesson Five - Alienation
Readings
Questions before Reading
(Page numbers refer to
Homosexual Saints)
81
1. Think about a time where you didn’t feel like you fit in.
What circumstance or characteristic caused this
alienation? Were you new to a group or environment?
Different from others in some way? How did it make you
feel?
On Being Gay at Graceland
1968 - 1972
175
2. How long did the feeling of alienation last? What did you
do? Did you change your behavior to try to fit in? Resign
yourself to feeling like an outsider?
A Journey of No
Consequence
On Being Gay at Park College
183
3. Did anyone from the dominant group come to your aid or
offer support in any way? How did you feel about this?
4. Alienation is a broad term that can be used to describe
behaviors from a lack of invitation, to actively ignoring or
shunning, to more overt behaviors like derisive comments,
taunting, bullying, intimidation, or even assault. Take a
moment to think about the different behaviors involved in
alienating someone. What do you think is the underlying
motivation for such action? Does it serve to enhance
conformity? To enforce it? To punish? To make the
members of the dominant group feel more secure about
their own standing? Do you think the people doing the
alienating are aware of why they are behaving this way?
Discussion Questions
1. In “A Journey of No Consequence”, Ray Biller describes his sense of isolation, saying that if he
acknowledged that he was gay, “I feared I would lose the love of my family and my church.” The
reaction of the camp director to learning that Biller was gay only seemed to confirm that belief.
Regardless of our personal feelings on LGBT issues, do we have an obligation, as the body of
Christ to adhere to certain standards of conduct when a person comes out? For example,
refraining from demonizing language, not yelling, not calling other church members to “report”
another’s LGBT status, etc. If it were up to you, what would such a standard of conduct include?
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Homosexual Saints – The Community of Christ Experience
2. Michael Crownover describes his own sense of alienation from the church, “I had never really
heard much preaching against homosexuality; nevertheless, the attitude was plain.” He felt
alone and unable to turn to anyone from the church or at Graceland for help.
Do you think church or faculty members were aware of his sense of isolation or his belief that it
would be unacceptable to talk about? Think about your own congregation. What attitudes do
you think your fellowship conveys to its members? To visitors? What can we do to ensure that
we are not unthinkingly alienating others?
3. The alienation Brian Schuler experienced at the hands of his Park College classmates was both
overt and intentional—taunting, name-calling and vandalism. His sense of betrayal was
compounded when the campus pastor told him his persecution “was completely
understandable.” Is it? Do we, as a church, allow others to be targeted in the name of “differing
opinions?” Where is the line between passionate disagreement and viciousness? How do we
ensure that that line is not crossed?
4. As a result of their experiences, the authors of these stories all left the church—for years or for
good. How did it feel to read about the alienation they experienced at the hands of members of
Community of Christ and its affiliated colleges? Do these stories reflect your own experience
with Community of Christ?
5. In response to Doctrine and Covenants Section 164, the church will convene national and
regional conferences to deal issues of personal morality including LGBT ordination and samegender marriage. Regardless of your position on the issues to be decided, how do we ensure
that we do not demonize or dehumanize people who hold different views, sexual orientations or
gender identities?
Discernment Exercise
Think about a time in your life where you felt like “the one and only” in a group or situation, then
answer the following questions:
1)
2)
3)
4)
What was the situation, what characteristic or experience set you apart from everyone else?
How did you feel? Isolated? Angry? Afraid?
How did you handle the situation? How long did it last?
Would you ever choose to put yourself into that kind of a situation again?
When everyone has had time to think about their responses, take turns sharing your experiences as a
group.
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Homosexual Saints – The Community of Christ Experience
Prayer of Discernment
Lord of Love and Light,
You have blessed each one of us with Your boundless grace.
We confess we have not always extended that grace to others.
Help us to reach out to the bruised and brokenhearted
to comfort the oppressed,
to bear witness to Your steadfast love.
Let our hearts be opened to the pain of others.
When we wound through our words, or our silence
Guide us back into right relationship.
Let Your Spirit flow in us, and through us.
Inspire us to live out Your Shalom.
These things we ask in Jesus’ holy name. Amen.
Pastoral Care
Alienation, isolation and exclusion are devastating experiences that can take years to get over. When
such experiences occur in a faith community—a supposed “safe place”—that injury is only compounded.
Because of the very nature of alienation, the person who feels excluded may not be able to call
attention to the behaviors that are isolating him or her. For this reason, it is important for the
congregation to be alert to signs of alienation that are not articulated in words. Consider having a
discussion with your pastoral care team (or the entire congregation if your congregation is small) about
being alert to these signs and taking action to provide ministry. It is vital that congregations practice
welcoming, reflection and respect.
Welcome—Being welcoming is more than simply greeting the people who walk through your doors. It
also means engaging them—getting to know them, learning what is important them. It means involving
them in the fellowship and worship life of the congregation. Being welcoming means showing each
person that his or her spiritual and emotional needs are important to the congregation.
Reflection—Too often we do not think about how “the way we do things” affects others. If, when a
person speaks about “relationships” from the pulpit, he or she only refers to marriage, it may make
single, divorced, and LGBT members of the congregation feel “less than”. If a congregation’s only
fellowship activities are physically active (softball team, hikes, etc.), it may make more physically
challenged congregants feel excluded. Similarly, if all evening activities begin after dinner, it may make
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Homosexual Saints – The Community of Christ Experience
families with young children (and early bedtimes) feel dismissed. Introducing one partner of an out gay
or lesbian couple as so-and-so’s “friend” can feel like you are minimizing their relationship, or even
asking them to hide it. Honest reflection about the implications of what we say and do have for the
community should be a continual process.
Respect — We don’t have to agree with one another. We do, however, have to treat each other as
people of inestimable worth. This begins by banning name-calling, slurs and other derogatory language.
Such language serves no purpose other than to dehumanize.
This also means placing limits on the way we speak to one another. “I don’t share that belief” or “I don’t
see it that way” are perfectly acceptable. “What you believe is wrong” is not.
Silence equals consent. — It’s important to realize that minimal standards of conduct must be enforced.
When a person is subject to dehumanizing language or bullying, refusing to stop the problem is just as
bad as causing it.
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Homosexual Saints – The Community of Christ Experience
Lesson Six – When a Spouse Comes Out
Lesson Six – When a Spouse Comes Out
Exploring the Scriptures
Love is patient; love is kind; love is not envious or boastful or
arrogant or rude. It does not insist on its own way; it is not
irritable or resentful; it does not rejoice in wrongdoing, but
rejoices in the truth. It bears all things, believes all things,
hopes all things, endures all things. Love never ends.
1 Corinthians 13: 4-8a (NRSV)
This passage, one of the most oft quoted in the Bible, follows
Paul’s discussion of various “charismata” or spiritual gifts.
Love, he asserts, is the greatest gift, without which a person
is nothing. In this passage Paul clarifies what he means by
love, specifically in contrast to the divisiveness and pride that
were infecting the church at Corinth.
The church at Corinth, to whom this letter is addressed, was
caught in a period of factionalism—with members aligning
themselves to various church leaders—Paul, Apollos and
Cephas (Peter)—and their doctrinal interpretations. Each
faction asserted that it was better or truer or more spiritually
gifted. Paul rejects this division, reminding the church that
they belong to Christ alone, not any given (mortal) leader,
even Paul himself. All have gifts, he writes, but the greatest
spiritual gift is love. And love is incompatible with
divisiveness, pettiness, and jealousy.
To Paul, our better impulses result from Godly love. Those
impulses and behaviors that try to force our will upon others,
that seek to elevate one person or group at the expense of
another, are the antithesis of love.
How does this passage challenge us today? How often do we
insist on our own way, especially with those we love? Do we
give in to resentment when things don’t work out as
planned? Does our love endure?
36
“Alan and I loved each
other, but how did
that mesh with the
other fact: that he
was gay while I was
straight?”
Fran Zimmerman
Homosexual Saints – The Community of Christ Experience
Lesson Six – When a Spouse Comes Out
Readings
(Page numbers refer to
Homosexual Saints)
A Family Rearranged but not
Broken
118
Where Will You Put Your
Trust
125
A Journey of Crying Out to
Others
129
Keeping My Integrity as a
Gay Man
192
Questions before Reading
1. Imagine for a moment that your spouse’s (or hypothetical
spouse’s) sexual orientation is that of attraction to a sex
different than yours. How would you want to find out?
What do you think your reaction would be?
2. What do you think of as a “successful” marriage? One that
lasts “till death do us part?” One that is, on the whole,
happy? One that produces children? Can a marriage that
ends in divorce still be considered “successful”? Why or
why not?
3. Think about some of the traditional vows used in a
wedding ceremony: love, honor and cherish. Or, if you
have been married, think about the vows you pledged. In
the event of a divorce, do you think it’s possible to
continue to honor some of those vows? Under what
conditions?
Discussion Questions
1. Larry Cavin discusses knowing he was gay from the time he was a young teenager, yet
knowing that was unacceptable, and so choosing to be “someone else.” Neither Alan
Zimmerman nor Ron Turner accepted the possibility that they could be homosexual.
How do you think cultural views about homosexuality factor into gays and lesbians
entering into heterosexual marriages?
2. Larry Cavin attempted to choose heterosexuality (an ultimately failed attempt), whereas
Alan Zimmerman and Ron Turner did not deal with or accept the fact that they were gay
until well into their respective marriages. Do you see a difference in these two
attitudes—that is conscious denial vs. unconscious denial? How would these different
approaches make you feel if you were in the heterosexual spouse’s position?
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Homosexual Saints – The Community of Christ Experience
Lesson Six – When a Spouse Comes Out
3. According to Cavin, he knew he was gay early in his teenage years, do you think he had
an obligation to disclose this fact before marriage? Does the fact that our society seems
to be more open to gay people now than it was when Cavin got married make a
difference? Does the fact that he thought he could choose to be straight make a
difference?
4. Fran Zimmerman mentioned that it was difficult to turn to the church for support when
the issue of homosexuality was involved. Carol Cavin writes that “*S+ometimes a spirit of
cautious acceptance comes across as disapproval or even rejection.” Is Community of
Christ capable of providing loving ministry to families affected by LGBT issues? If so, how
can the church overcome the idea of assumed intolerance in order to provide ministry
to individuals and families in these situations?
5. Larry Cavin felt like the one time he did actually cry out for help, the person he went to
either didn’t hear him or didn’t want to. How might his story have been different if his
professor had been able to hear what Larry was saying? Do you think this type of
selective hearing is limited to LGBT issues? How can we ensure that we are listening for
what ministry a person is actually asking us to provide?
Discernment Exercise
For the following activity you will be asked to view two different scenarios from the perspective
of both a heterosexual partner and a homosexual partner. Try to put yourself in their places as
best you can.
Imagine that you were looking for a roommate with which to share a 2 bedroom apartment.
You meet and interview view several potential roommates, and select a person with whom you
click. Your finances are slightly intertwined—you share utilities and other monthly bills.
1. After a few months, you learn that that your new roommate is gay. Would it change
anything? Would you be upset that your roommate had not disclosed his or her
sexual orientation before you made your living arrangements?
2. Imagine that you are the gay roommate and the other person is straight. Do you
have an obligation to disclose your sexual orientation?
Now imagine you have been married for 10 years and you have two children. You share
finances, bills, and a mortgage.
1. Your partner tells you he or she is gay. What questions would you have? What emotions
would you experience? Where would you turn for support?
38
Homosexual Saints – The Community of Christ Experience
Lesson Six – When a Spouse Comes Out
2. After a long struggle, you realize that you are gay. How would you tell your partner?
What questions would you have? How would you feel? Where would you turn for
support?
3. Both Fran Zimmerman and Carol Cavin write of having continued relationships with their
former husbands and the partners of their former husbands. As Zimmerman writes,
“Our marriage needed to end, our relationship would not.” What do you imagine your
relationship would ultimately look like? What would you hope it would look like? What
would you fear it might look like?
What kind of support would your family need in this situation? Would you feel comfortable
seeking help from the church? If not, what would the church or its members need to do to make
you feel comfortable receiving ministry in this situation?
Prayer of Discernment
Lord of Refuge,
Guide us in the tumult of our lives.
Help us to be honest about our needs
with ourselves
with each other
with you.
Inspire us to be a refuge for others.
Help us provide Your children
with our ears
with our arms
with our love.
Let Your Spirit prompt us onward.
Help us to be faithful to Your leading
in our prayers
in our words
in our action.
Bless us as we strive to be a blessing to others.
These things we ask in Jesus’ holy name. Amen.
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Homosexual Saints – The Community of Christ Experience
Lesson Six – When a Spouse Comes Out
Pastoral Care
Obviously, when a husband or wife comes out as LGBT, it is an incredibly difficult time for all
involved. The LGBT partner is coming to terms with his or her sexual orientation or gender
identity. The straight spouse, naturally, feels like his or her world has been turned upside down.
Both are trying to cope with what this revelation means for them individually, as a couple and
as a family.
According to the Straight Spouse Network (a support group for those who learn that their
spouses are LGBT), as many as 2 million men and women in the US are or have been married to
an LGBT partner. While some couples choose to separate right away, others remain together.
Most will ultimately divorce.
While there are no hard and fast rules on dealing with this situation, here is some general
advice to assist couples and families facing this difficult situation.
Listen. Being in a mixed orientation marriage is not easy for either partner. There is a great deal
of uncertainty for both partners as well as a host of often conflicting emotions. One partner
may not yet be ready to talk to the other about everything he or she is thinking or feeling.
Instead, he or she may simply need to talk, vent, or cry to a safe person outside the
relationship. Just listen.
DON’T make assumptions about what the couple’s next steps will be. While some couples
split immediately, others will follow a more gradual dissolution as each partner decides what
their needs are going forward. Still others will choose to remain together despite their different
orientations. Allow the couple the space to determine what works best for them.
Support both spouses. Often when a person comes out as LGBT, there is an identifiable
community ready to support them. The LGBT spouse may be congratulated for coming out,
while the straight spouse may feel more isolated. This is often a result of people not knowing
what to say to the heterosexual partner. Make sure to ask both partners what they need, how
you can support them, etc.
Let parents parent. If a couple has children, it is up to the parents to decide when and how
much to tell the children. Do not assume that the kid(s) will know what is going on. Do not offer
to counsel the children unless and until you know exactly how much they have been told and
you have explicit permission from both parents to do so. In most cases, it is preferable that
parents or a trusted family member lead these conversations. Learning from someone other
than a parent can cause confusion and a sense of betrayal.
40
Homosexual Saints – The Community of Christ Experience
Lesson Six – When a Spouse Comes Out
Recommend counseling. The end of a marriage is a difficult thing—and even for couples who
choose to remain married, the marriage as they have known it has ended. The situation is made
more difficult here with issues of identity, sexuality, sexual orientation, feelings of broken trust,
and reinterpretation of past marriage history to name a few. A skilled counselor can be
invaluable in helping both partners sort through their often conflicting feelings.
Don’t ask “How could you not have known?” to either spouse. Coming to terms with one’s
sexual orientation or gender identity can take years. It is not for you to judge what a person
should have known and when. Similarly, to a heterosexual spouse who may still be struggling
with that very issue, the question may sound like an accusation. A better place to start is
simply, “How did you find out?” and “How are you doing?”
Advise both partners to get tested. There is no such thing as “safe sex.” If either spouse has
had sexual partners outside of the marriage, it is important that both partners get tested for
sexually transmitted infections (STIs) no matter what precautions were taken at the time.
Know your resources. Parents, Friends and Families of Lesbians and Gays (PFLAG) offers
support for LGBT individuals and the people who love them. PFLAG has over 350 chapters
across all 50 states, find them at www.pflag.org. The Straight Spouse Network (SSN) offers
online and, in some locations, in person support for the straight spouses of LGBT partners. They
can be found at www.straightspouse.org. GALA is an association of LGBT persons and their
allies, most of whom have a relationship with Community of Christ. The purpose of GALA is to
affirm the dignity and worth of all persons without regard to gender, race, sexual orientation,
or religious affiliation. GALA’s web site is www.galaweb.org.
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Homosexual Saints – The Community of Christ Experience
Lesson Seven - Welcoming Communities & Institutions
Lesson Seven – Welcoming Communities & Institutions
Exploring the Scriptures
“When the Son of Man comes in his glory, and all the angels with him,
then he will sit on the throne of his glory. All nations will be gathered
around him, and he will separate people from one another as a shepherd
separates the sheep from the goats, and he will put the sheep at his right
hand and the goats at the left.
“Then the king will say to those at his right hand, ‘Come, you that are
blessed by my Father, inherit the kingdom prepared for you from the
foundation of the world; for I was hungry and you gave me food, I was
thirsty and you gave me something to drink, I was a stranger and you
welcomed me, I was naked and you gave me clothing, I was sick and you
took care of me, I was in prison and you visited me.’
Then the righteous will answer him, ‘Lord, when was it that we saw you
hungry and gave you food, or thirsty and gave you something to drink?
And when was it that we saw you a stranger and welcomed you, or naked
and gave you clothing? And when was it that we saw you sick or in prison
and visited you?’
And the king will answer them, ‘Truly I tell you, just as you did it to one of
the least of these who are members of my family, you did it to me.’”
Matthew 25: 31-40 (NRSV)
In this passage, Jesus tells us that people will be judged, not
according to doctrine or faith, but rather on how that faith is
lived out. As the passage continues (verses 41 – 46), we learn
that those whom Jesus condemns are shocked to hear that
they are being judged unworthy. What ultimately separates
the sheep from the goats is how they reach out and care for
“the least of these.” The righteous are those who tend to and
care for those in need. The unrighteous do not.
How well do we meet the challenge of this scripture? If what
we do to the vulnerable is what we do to Jesus, how will we
be judged? Have we reached out to those in need? Do we
stand with the abused and oppressed?
42
“All my life I was
taught to hide
everything, talk
superficially, and
admit to nothing. In
this group, I felt safe.”
Kip Dawson
Homosexual Saints – The Community of Christ Experience
Lesson Seven - Welcoming Communities & Institutions
Readings
Questions before Reading
(Page numbers refer to
Homosexual Saints)
Note: This week’s section includes two short stories you have
already read. When you first read these stories we were
focusing on Coming Out/ The Journey and LGBT and
Priesthood. This week, try to look more closely on the effect
that welcoming communities and institutions played in each
writer’s journey, as well as the effect the writer had on those
institutions.
When My Mental Suitcase
Popped Open
148
Graceland’s Andrei
169
The Stranger Has Become My
Neighbor
206
Everyone Has a Name at the
Table of the Lord
218
1. What do you think it means to be a “welcoming”
community or institution? Does it mean allowing
anyone to attend? Participate? Lead?
2. Why do you think an institution or organization might
decide to become welcoming? What are the potential
rewards? What are the potential risks? Similarly, what
do you think an institution or organization stands to
gain or lose from not becoming welcoming?
3. In terms of congregational and church life, is being
non-welcoming the same as being unwelcoming?
Why or why not?
Discussion Questions
1. Stephanie Shaw’s St. Paul priesthood group decided to draft welcoming legislation
without initially knowing she is a lesbian, something that encouraged her to come out.
Stephanie ultimately brought her partner to the congregation, and through her
experience with the St. Paul congregation, Barb became a member of the church. Do
you think that’s generally how welcoming goes—becoming welcoming without realizing
you are really welcoming your own members? Or do you think most organizations
become welcoming because it directly affects their members? What are the benefits
and drawbacks of both approaches?
2. Kip Dawson’s story illustrates the profound power a welcoming organization can have
for those who need to be welcomed. Have you ever had such an overwhelming
experience of being welcomed, valued and loved? Would our congregations, our
43
Homosexual Saints – The Community of Christ Experience
Lesson Seven - Welcoming Communities & Institutions
ministry, and our church need to change in order to convey that kind of life-changing
love to all our members? How?
3. Paul Davis writes of the divisive decision of the Boise, ID congregation to share space
with the Metropolitan Community Church (MCC). The controversy threatened to
permanently factionalize the congregation. Did any of the comments in the appendix to
Davis’s story surprise you? Did any anger you? Did any make you proud? Did any sadden
you? After three years, renewing the lease was a unanimous decision. What do you
think accounts for this shift?
4. Davis wrote that upon rereading the letters he had received he was surprised to
discover that the greatest cost was borne by those “who could not find a way to keep
their church, if it must be shared with unashamedly gay people,” because their sacrifice
“was without redemption.” What do you think he means by this? Why is it that the
greatest cost might come to those who choose to leave? Do you agree or disagree with
that analysis?
5. Andy Shelton wrote about the conflict and ultimate demise of the Angel of Hope
church—a church that had initially been designed to be radically inclusive. What do you
see as the challenges of becoming welcoming? Of becoming inclusive?
Despite the experience at Angel of Hope, Shelton says he believes such radically
inclusive church can succeed. Do you agree? Why or why not?
6. WCN requires all of its affiliated congregations to have a welcoming statement that
specifically mentions LGBT inclusion. Their reason for this is that the Christian
movement has historically been hostile to LGBT people and campaigns to deny civil
rights to LGBT people are often led and coordinated by Christian groups even today. As
a result, most people assume Christian groups will not welcome LGBT people unless
they specifically and publicly state otherwise. What do you think of this reasoning?
Discernment Activity
Read the welcoming statement from the Clearwater, Florida Community of Christ.
Take a moment think about the various categories of people the congregation lists. Which of
them are welcome in your congregation?
Who would you be willing to welcome into your congregation?
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Homosexual Saints – The Community of Christ Experience
Lesson Seven - Welcoming Communities & Institutions
What would you do to make them feel welcome?
How would your congregation have to change in order to live out the promises made by such a
statement?
Who is unwelcome at your congregation? Why?
What do you risk by welcoming other groups of people to your congregation?
What do you risk by making them unwelcome either through neglect or overt action?
Does welcoming all people mean welcoming all behaviors? Is it reasonable to ask others to
follow a certain standard of conduct? That is, would a person who insists on being unwelcoming
to those mentioned on the list be welcome?
Clearwater Congregation Welcoming Statement
Who is welcome here ?
If you are Asian, Hispanic, Black, or White…
If you are male, female, or transgender…
If you are three days old, 30 years old, or 103 years old…
If you’ve never stepped foot in a church; or if you are Buddhist, Roman Catholic,
agnostic, or are a life-long member of the Community of Christ…
If you are single, married, divorced, separated, or partnered…
If you are straight, gay, lesbian, or bisexual…
If you are Republican, Democrat, Independent, Socialist, or not registered to vote…
If you have, or had, addictions, phobias, abortions, or a criminal record…
If you own your home, rent, or are homeless…
If you are fully-abled, disabled, or a person of differing abilities…
You are welcome here!
You are welcome here because you are a child of God. You are worthy of God’s love and
grace. By the grace of God, made known in Christ Jesus, NO THING that you have done,
felt, are, believe or will do, can change that. We are committed to being a thoroughly
loving and welcoming community of faith, centered in the Good News of Jesus Christ.
We support the full participation of all persons in every phase of church life. Through
education and informal discussion, we will strive to better understand those who are
different from us, and to fulfill our mission of fostering peace and reconciliation for all
people. Therefore, in faithfulness to the Gospel and our Community of Christ heritage,
and to the best of our ability, we promise to provide programs, ministries and pastoral
care to all who seek God in this place.
Clearwater, Florida Community of Christ
45
Homosexual Saints – The Community of Christ Experience
Lesson Seven - Welcoming Communities & Institutions
Prayer of Discernment
Welcoming God,
Open our hearts.
We have too often closed our doors to those who are different,
and shut out those with whom we disagree.
Open our minds.
Help us to reach out to those in different circumstances,
and those with different views.
Broaden our perspective.
Teach us how to open our ears more,
and our lips less.
Rouse our congregations.
Spur us beyond our comfortable pews,
and our fear of the unknown.
Awaken our hospitality.
Make us bold in our welcoming of others,
and our willingness to receive them.
These things we ask in Jesus’ holy name, Amen.
Pastoral Care
Becoming a welcoming congregation is not a decision; it is a process. One does not simply begin
by taking a vote, but rather, having a series of conversations.
Here are a few steps to get you started.
Determine critical mass. Ask around. Talk to members of your congregation about the
possibility of becoming a welcoming congregation. If 25 – 30% of your average Sunday
attendance is interested in exploring becoming a welcoming congregation, you’re ready to
begin the process. This core group will begin by conducting one-on-one conversations.
Strengthen relationships. Begin talking to members of your congregation one-on-one. These
conversations are not meant to persuade, but rather to strengthen the bonds of your
congregation. Make an appointment. Interview members of your congregation individually,
focus on questions that help you better understand that person’s journey. Let each person tell
his or her story. Try to learn:
46
Homosexual Saints – The Community of Christ Experience
Lesson Seven - Welcoming Communities & Institutions
-
-
Each person’s web of relationships—how does he or she self-identify in relation to
others in the congregation (Mary’s daughter, Dave’s cousin, etc.), Who do they bring
with them?
What are his or her joys and pains?
What does he or she want from the congregation?
What does he or she need to be filled—emotionally and spiritually—in the
congregation?
Deciding whether or not to be a welcoming congregation, and whom you will welcome can be
an emotional process. It is important to spend time building relationships before embarking on
such a journey.
Make contact. Get in touch with the Welcoming Community Network (WCN), an organization
that advocates for full inclusion of LGBT people in the life of the church and specializes in
supporting congregations as they go through the process of becoming welcoming churches.
WCN can be found at www.welcomingcommunitynetwork.org. If possible, have two or more
members of your congregation attend the “Building an Inclusive Church” workshop that is
described on the WCN web site.
Get the conversation started. Schedule an event—a panel, a workshop, or a film followed by
discussion—to get the congregation thinking about who needs to be welcomed and what being
welcoming might look like.
Begin the process. Set about a process of study, discussion, prayer, reflection, and discernment.
Welcoming church materials can be obtained through WCN and adapted to the needs of your
congregation.
Listen, listen, speak and listen. Discern whom your congregation wishes to welcome and the
implications of inviting them to be a part of your church. How would your ministry change?
What would the risks and rewards of inviting these groups be for your congregation? Make sure
everyone, regardless of viewpoint, is heard.
Measure the level of consensus. When the congregation approaches readiness to make a final
decision be sure to take a measure of the level of consensus within the congregation. One
method for checking the level of consensus could be to take a straw ballot. (Remember people
do not always vote the same way on a final decision that they vote on a straw poll.) If a high
level of agreement is measured, you’re ready to move to an official vote. If a lesser level of
consensus about becoming a welcoming congregation is established, continued work in
discussion, prayer, discernment and education is needed in the congregation.
47
Homosexual Saints – The Community of Christ Experience
Lesson Seven - Welcoming Communities & Institutions
Adopt a welcoming statement. As a congregation, design a statement that identifies specific
people or groups you want to declare welcome in your congregation. The welcoming
statements of the congregations affiliated with WCN are available on the WCN web site.
Share the good news. Publically proclaim your openness to your greater community. When
your welcoming statement is written and accepted by the congregation, you should make it
public. If your congregation has a web site, it should be posted there. Several congregations
have framed their welcoming statement and displayed it in a prominent place near the
entrance to their building. When you publicly share your intention to be welcoming, you add
accountability to your intention and increase the likelihood that it will become your reality.
Live it. It is not enough to have a statement; you must also live out the welcome contained in
that statement. This may mean expanding the ministry and services you offer, using more
inclusive language, or actively seeking the input and participation of people you identified in
your statement.
Sources: The Institute for Welcoming Resources’ “Building an Inclusive Church: A Welcoming
Toolkit” (Available for free download at: http://welcomingresources.org/welcomingtoolkit.pdf)
and Welcoming Community Network (http://WelcomingCommunityNetwork.org)
48
Homosexual Saints – The Community of Christ Experience
Lesson Eight - Conclusions
Lesson Eight - Conclusions
Exploring the Scriptures
As revealed in Christ, God, the Creator of all, ultimately is
concerned about behaviors and relationships that uphold the
worth and giftedness of all people and that protect the most
vulnerable. Such relationships are to be rooted in the
principles of Christ-like love, mutual respect, responsibility,
justice, covenant, and faithfulness, against which there is no
law.
Doctrine & Covenants Section 164: 6a
This counsel to the church declares that the most important
thing with regard to personal relationships is the quality of
the relationship. God, and therefore the church, affirms all
relationships that uphold these principles. By enumerating
the characteristics that an acceptable relationship must
embody, the counsel establishes a universal standard against
which all relationships may be judged.
Most notable in this passage, is what does not appear. If
these are the principles with which God is concerned, the
implication is that matters of sexual orientation, gender
identity and gender expression are not something with which
God is concerned.
How does this new understanding of what it means to be in
right relationship change our previously held beliefs
regarding same-sex relationships? Gender identity? What
does it mean for the church to have a criteria of relationships
to which everyone is expected to adhere? How might your
own behaviors and relationship need to change in order to
meet these standards?
49
May the God of Grace
and Healing bless you
on your journey.
Shalom
.
Homosexual Saints – The Community of Christ Experience
Lesson Eight - Conclusions
Readings
(Page numbers refer to
Homosexual Saints)
Conclusion: Christ and
Culture in Conflict
224
Doctrine & Covenants
Section 164 – See Additional
Resources at the end of this
lesson
Questions before Reading
1. How has reading these stories shaped your view of
what it means to be LGBT in Community of Christ?
2. In the Christian community, much of the debate
about homosexuality comes from 6 passages of
scripture. Of those, three are found in the Hebrew
Bible (Leviticus and Deuteronomy) alongside other
laws that are no longer considered binding. Why do
we regard some Old Testament laws as authoritative
while others are rejected?
3. In his 2002 World Conference Address, thenPresident Grant McMurray asserted, “I read scripture
contextually.” Doctrine & Covenants Section 163:7a
seems to expand on this idea, saying, “Scripture is an
indispensable witness to the Eternal Source of light
and truth, which cannot be fully contained in any
finite vessel or language. Scripture has been written
and shaped by human authors through experiences of
revelation and ongoing inspiration of the Holy Spirit in
the midst of time and culture.” What does that mean
to you?
Questions after Reading
1. William Russell asserts that denominations that take a hard line on homosexuality have
to believe that homosexuality is a choice because “it would be immoral to condemn as a
sin a condition over which a person in that condition had no free moral agency to
choose or reject it.” Do you agree with that assessment?
In the 1982 High Council Statement (see Homosexual Saints, Appendix B, p 247) our
church held that sexual orientation is innate, and therefore acceptable, but homosexual
activity is immoral. Where would that place the church in Russell’s argument? If we
believe sexual orientation is innate, is this selective celibacy—a policy that holds that
sexual desire is okay, but that some are never allowed to act on that desire—justifiable?
Why or why not?
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Homosexual Saints – The Community of Christ Experience
Lesson Eight - Conclusions
2. Russell offers three arguments for rejecting biblical condemnations of homosexuality: 1)
Jesus’ silence on the issue and his compassion for everyone, 2) Jesus’ and later Paul’s
reinterpretation and rejection of “the law” as set forth in the Old Testament, and 3) the
lack of references to homosexuality in either the Book of Mormon or the Doctrine and
Covenants. Which, if any, of these arguments resonate with you? Which, if any, of
these arguments trouble you?
3. Russell writes that, “In a culture that teaches us to despise homosexuals, sometimes the
most thorough attitude-changer is coming to terms with the fact that a close family
member or good friend is gay.” In fact, many of the parents whose stories we’ve read
related similar shifts. What would account for this adjustment? If you have known
someone who is gay, has knowing them changed your views on homosexuality? In what
way?
4. In the time since this book was published, Community of Christ has had to deal with
LGBT issues more directly—multiple 2010 World Conference resolutions proposed from
various Mission Centers throughout the world dealt with homosexuality, some arguing
for a continuation of the 1982 policy, others arguing for acceptance of LGBT ordination
and marriage. Those resolutions were tabled with the adoption of Section 164 into the
Doctrine & Covenants, which established general principles for relationships but
provided for local discretion as to how those principles would be interpreted. How will
the adoption of Section 164 change the way LGBT issues are handled in the church?
How do you feel about this new approach?
5. As a result of the counsel in section 164, the United States will host the 2012 USA
National Conference in Independence, MO, “to create and interpret church policies to
meet the needs of the church in different nations in harmony with the principles
contained in this counsel.” Specifically, the church will deal with the issue of LGBT
ordination and marriage. What do you hope will result from this conference? How will
you feel if things do not turn out that way?
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Homosexual Saints – The Community of Christ Experience
Lesson Eight - Conclusions
Discernment Exercise
Take a few minutes to answer these questions individually. When everyone has finished, you’ll
be asked to share your responses with the group.
In this class you’ve had the opportunity to share the experiences of others—in the stories
you’ve read, the discussions you’ve had, and the discernment activities where you were asked
to put yourself in another’s place. Thinking about your experience, answer the following
questions:
1. Is there any story, incident or discussion that really sticks out for you? Why did this
affect you more than the others?
2. What topic or story was the most painful/difficult for you to discuss? Why?
3. What topic or story was the most joyful/hopeful for you? Why?
4. If you have never known someone who is LGBT, how has this course affected your
understanding of the issues of LGBT inclusion in the church?
5. If you or someone you love has experienced discrimination because of his or her sexual
orientation or gender identity, how has the study of this book affected you?
6. Community of Christ has declared itself to be a “Peace Church.” How does this
aspiration for our identity come in to play on issues of homosexuality or LGBT inclusion?
7. Has taking this course changed the way you view LGBT inclusion in the church? In what
way?
8. As a result of this course, do you feel better prepared to discuss issues of sexual
orientation and gender identity in the Community of Christ?
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Homosexual Saints – The Community of Christ Experience
Lesson Eight - Conclusions
Prayer of Discernment
Gracious God,
We ask a special blessing on the people gathered here.
We have shared together, prayed together, and grown together.
May the bonds of love and friendship continue to strengthen among us.
We know that this is not the end of discernment, but rather the beginning.
Guide us, Lord.
Help us to hear You speaking.
Bless us, Lord.
Help us to feel Your love.
Inspire us, Lord.
Let the light of Your love, shine through us.
Recall us, Lord.
Though we journey from this place, let us always return to You.
These things we ask in Jesus’ holy name, Amen.
Pastoral Care
What matters most for the journey ahead? In taking this course, you’ve read, you’ve listened,
you’ve pondered, you’ve shared and you’ve prayed. As you continue on in your journey with
these issues, it is important to carry on with all those practices.
The goals of this study course, in addition to providing you with a better understanding of the
experiences of LGBT members of the Community of Christ, were to provide a place to begin the
discernment process regarding the inclusion of LGBT people in the life of the church, and to
equip you with tools you can use to provide pastoral care to LGBT people and those who care
for them.
The pastoral care suggestions contained in this study course are by no means an exhaustive list.
Rather, they are meant to provide you with a basis from which to begin your ministry. With
that in mind:
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Homosexual Saints – The Community of Christ Experience
Lesson Eight - Conclusions
Continue. Continue to listen to the experiences of others, to reach out to those who have been
wounded, to ponder what it means to live in right relationship with another, to share your own
story, and, most importantly, to turn to the Lord for guidance.
Additional Resources
Doctrine & Covenants Section 164
164:5 It is imperative to understand that when you are truly baptized into Christ you become
part of a new creation. By taking on the life and mind of Christ, you increasingly view yourselves
and others from a changed perspective. Former ways of defining people by economic status,
social class, sex, gender, or ethnicity no longer are primary. Through the gospel of Christ a new
community of tolerance, reconciliation, unity in diversity, and love is being born as a visible sign
of the coming reign of God.
164:6 a. As revealed in Christ, God, the Creator of all, ultimately is concerned about behaviors
and relationships that uphold the worth and giftedness of all people and that protect the most
vulnerable. Such relationships are to be rooted in the principles of Christ-like love, mutual
respect, responsibility, justice, covenant, and faithfulness, against which there is no law.
164:b. I f the church more fully will understand and consistently apply these principles,
questions arising about responsible human sexuality; gender identities, roles, and relationships;
marriage; and other issues may be resolved according to God’s divine purposes. Be assured,
nothing within these principles condones selfish, irresponsible, promiscuous, degrading, or
abusive relationships.
164:c. Faced with difficult questions, many properly turn to scripture to find insight and
inspiration. Search the scriptures for the Living Word that brings life, healing, and hope to all.
Embrace and proclaim these liberating truths.
164:7 a. A worldwide prophetic church must develop cultural awareness and sensitivity to
distinguish between issues that should be addressed by the World Conference and those that
are best resolved nationally or in other ways.
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Homosexual Saints – The Community of Christ Experience
Glossary
Glossary
Bisexual – A person who is attracted to members of both sexes. A bisexual individual
may pursue a romantic relationship with either a man or a woman.
Closeted/ In the Closet – An LGBT individual who is not publicly open about his or her
sexual orientation or gender identity.
Coming out – When an LGBT individual decides to be open about his or her sexual
orientation or gender identity. Coming out is a process, where people begin by
being “out” to some, while still closeted to others. When a person is open with
everyone about his or her sexual orientation or gender identity, he or she is
simply “out.”
GLBT/LGBT – An acronym for Gay, Lesbian, Bisexual and Transgender. While Dr. Russell
uses the term GLBT in Homosexual Saints, the term has since been standardized
to LGBT, which will be used in this study guide.
Gay – A person who is attracted exclusively to members of his or her own sex. Most
often, the term is applied to men, but it may also be applied to women.
Gender – The roles, behaviors, activities, and attributes that the dominant culture
considers appropriate for a sexual category. Male and Female are sexual
categories, while Masculine and Feminine are gender categories.
Gender Identity – The gender role or expression that a person claims for himself or
herself. This may or may not correspond to a person’s biological sex. A person’s
gender identity may or may not correspond to the gender that person displays
publicly. For example, a transgender person may understand his gender identity
to be male even though his sex is female and he presents publicly as female.
Gender Non-conforming – A person whose gender expression conflicts with established
cultural gender norms. (Example: a woman or girl who identifies as a “Tomboy,”
regardless of sexual orientation, would be considered non-conforming.)
Homophobia – Fear or hatred of people who are attracted to members of the same sex.
Lesbian – A woman who is exclusively attracted to other women.
Out – (Adjective) A person who is open about his or her sexual orientation or gender
identity.
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Homosexual Saints – The Community of Christ Experience
Glossary
Out/Outing – (Verb) The act of disclosing the sexual orientation or gender identity of
someone who has not yet chosen to share that information publicly.
Sex – A biological distinction determined by the chromosomes and genitalia a person
possesses. Categories: male, female.
Straight Supporter/ Straight Ally – A person who publically supports full inclusion of and
equal rights for LGBT individuals, and challenges homophobic and transphobic
attitudes and behaviors.
Transgender – A broad term for individuals who experience or express their gender
differently than what is typically expected in their culture. The term may be
applied to transsexuals, cross-dressing or otherwise gender-nonconforming
individuals. (Note: the term “tranny” is derogatory, and should not be used. Also
note: even though the term “transgendered” is used in Homosexual Saints, the
community has since rejected that term. “Transgender” is now preferred.)
Transphobia – Fear or hatred of people whose gender expression does not conform to
cultural gender norms.
Transsexual - A person who has transitioned or is in the process of transitioning from
one sex to the other. All transsexual persons are transgender, but not all
transgender persons are transsexual.
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