banner december 2008 - New Glarus School District

OLD GUARD
AS THE CANNON ROARS, THE PRESS WILL ROLL.
VOL. XXXXII Issue 2
December 2008
DOOMSDAY: FOUR YEARS LEFT
by Jenna Knapp
According to the Mayan calendar, the end of
the world as we know it comes in about four
years. The Mayan’s calendar ends on December 21, 2012, and many people believe
that a majority of the population will be
wiped out and our world will be demolished. Other people believe it is not the
end—but the beginning.
Many believe the
world will overcome
the major change of
a pole shift, but we
will still be alive to
witness an event
such as this. Others
believe that we will
be hit by massive
asteroids and the
earth will be destroyed. There are
many different theories as to what might
happen on this day.
“I’d really like to get my motorcycle license
someday and go out west hunting.”
-Danny Gerber
“I want to go sky diving and face my fear of
heights!”
-Rachel Miller
“I want to win the lottery, go to Paris, and
get my drivers license.”
—Paula Zuber
“I want to break my record
of eating soft shell tacos
from Taco Bell in one sitting. So far I’ve eaten 17!”
-Taylor Clarke
“I want to lay down some
sick beats with Soulja Boy
and Trice Blazer.”
-Nick Stuessy
“I want to become Cat
Woman and travel around
If the world really does end on this day, we
have four years left to accomplish what we
would like to do in a whole lifetime. To find
out what people would do in their final
years, I asked several school mates of mine.
the world!”
What would you like to accomplish in the
next four years if you knew the world was
coming to an end?
So if this all isn’t just a myth, ask yourself—how will you make your last four
years significant and exciting?
-Dayna Halverson
“Hang out with Sue Johansson.”
-Ben Schmitt
BOOTS
by Brendan Pittman
Recently there has been a boot
outbreak in our school and I
want to know why. Everywhere I look there are boots.
You have brown boots, tan
boots, boots with the fur,
boots with the fluffy balls at
the ends, shoe boots, high
boots, I have even seen high
heal boots.
I am not judging anybody
about their boots, but these
boots are everywhere. My
question is—aren’t boots supposed to be for shoveling
snow or for casual walks
through the forest. Apparently people do not think the
way I do.
Take, for example, Lauren
Narveson. She said, “No, I
like wearing boots indoors.
They keep your feet warm.”
Personally, I wear socks to
keep my feet warm, but I
guess others like to wear
boots instead.
Tanya Gruter also said, “They
keep my feet warm and they
also make me feel better about
myself, because you know . . .
I’m a ginger.” I questioned
this statement because if she
is a ginger, shouldn’t she already be warm from all that
heat escaping from her hair.
Secondly, she said it makes
her feel good about herself.
How do boots make you feel
good about yourself?
HOROSCOPES
by Chase Chapman
Aries: March 21/April 19:
You’ll face a 10-year prison
sentence for breaking and entering Build-A-Bear Workshop and replacing all the cotton stuffing with asbestos.
Five years ago, Whitney H.
wore boots and she seemed
like a downer.
Taurus: April 20/May 20:
Chest hair that comes out of
the top of your shirt doesn’t
make up for the eyebrows you
lost two weeks ago when you
rear-ended that Pinto.
Another interview with Lauren Acker who said she wears
boots because all the girls at
her all-girl camp wear boots,
so she decided to get some to
fit in. She said her boots are
made for walking and that’s
just what they’ll do.
Gemini: May 21/June 21:
Consolation prizes are rarely
given out on game shows just
because they “feel sorry” for
you.
There were so many stories of
why people wear boots and I
couldn’t come to any obvious
answer. Finally, I found the
reason. Students wear boots
because terrorists have hijacked their imagination and
made indoors seem like outdoors. I had a light bulb moment and recognized that this
was the reason that people are
running around with boots on.
I wanted to find a solution to
get rid of boots because I
think I’m allergic to them, but
then I realized that I can’t unhijack peoples’ imaginations
so I guess people can wear
boots and I will have to live
with it.
Cancer: June 22/July 22:
Having a Kung fu bodyguard
will only be cool for the first
few weeks.
Leo: July 23/August 22:
You won’t hesitate to blame
the neighbor’s dog for the
Bold Fresh Piece of Humanity
in your front yard.
Virgo: August 23/ September
22:
The stars indicate that a large
handful of ladybug imposters
will find their way into your
mashed potatoes and gravy.
Libra: September 23/October
22:
Only 12 of the letters you’ve
ever written to Santa have
been ignored.
Scorpio:
October 23/
November 21:
Aside from a painful mishap
involving your shins and a
faulty parking brake, the rest
of the month will be pretty
uneventful.
is going to ring (there are no
clocks in the bathrooms either).
Another issue I have in the
bathroom is when I go to the
bathroom and I see a ten kuric
crocodile staring at me out of
the toilet. I mean, come on,
it’s common courtesy that you
flush the toilet after you are
done.
Sagittarius: November 22/
December 21:
Wacky fantasies of world
domination will sprout from
you beating your parents at
Risk for the first time in four
years.
Capricorn:
December 22/
January 19:
Your friends don’t call you an
airhead because you’re delicious and taffy-like.
Aquarius:
January 20/
February 18:
Follow your gut, especially
when it’s growling for food.
Pisces: February 19/March
20:
That puddle of urine you
woke up in last Sunday was
from someone else.
OPINION
by Brendan Pittman
As we gather for the holidays
( C hr is t ma s, Ha n u k k a h,
Kwanza, Boxing Day, Steus’s
B-Day, etc.), we look back on
the year thus far. We have
one quarter in the books, seniors are getting anxious for
college, some are still experiencing high school to the fullest, while others are up late at
night studying to get that bet-
ter grade or watching Pick up
Artist. Hey, you can’t blame
people who watch it—at least
they’re learning something.
But, more importantly, I want
to talk about issues involving
school and things that just
grind my gears.
First off: The bathrooms.
They’re not big enough. Between passing hours (the time
between classes, not intestinal
movements), there is always a
big rush and you can never
find a place to. you know. do
your business.
And when
you do eventually get to relieve yourself, you don’t have
enough time to get back to
class. As said in the words of
Cam Jeglum, “Have you ever
tried to take a dump in 5 minutes?” Teachers like Mr. Tordoff are always on my case
about getting back to class in
time, but it is really hard to do
that when I have to sit in the
middle of paper towel fights
in the boys bathroom waiting
for an empty stall, all while
having the issue of if the bell
Finally, when you get done,
wash your hands. There have
been recent outbreaks of
mono and the flu and personally, I don’t want to get them.
So, a reminder—we need bigger bathrooms or longer passing times, flush the toilet, and
wash your hands.
<<Drugs>><<Sex>>_&_<<Roc
k_n’_Roll>>
(Are banned)
by Emily Kammerud
The recent change in the internet blocking system has
caused a lot of anger in our
school. Like many other
changes, the majority of students were unaware of the
new filter until they actually
tried to use the internet. Why
are so many sites being
blocked and who is blocking
them? Just like everyone else,
I immediately assumed the
school was the culprit, but
what students are not aware of
is that this is actually a required action by state law. As
annoying and frustrating as
this change may be, there is
not much we can do about it.
Recently I was trying to cite
sources for a movie maker
presentation I made for Contemporary Literature and was
not able to access sites on
Martin Luther King and John
F. Kennedy—sites that I had
just accessed the day before.
One would ask: What will
corrupt me by reading information on these two people?
What is so ungodly terrible
that will ruin my wellbeing
and innocence? Sorry guys,
Adult Swim, ebaumsworld,
and punk music already did
that for me. Is the state really
afraid that us chitlens will be
accessing pornography and
vulgar sites from school computers? Personally, I think
anyone accessing these sites
from school needs to be
caught doing so, because they
need some serious help. Looking at dirty websites on school
grounds is borderline sick
and, hopefully, most of our
parents were able to teach us
enough common sense and
decency to do those nasty
things at home. Also, if blood
and gore is “inappropriate” to
be viewing, then why is it
okay for the school to show us
videos of people being completely annihilated and their
lives being torn apart in drunk
driving/drug related car accidents? Why is this considered
fair? If I want to look at
blood, guts, horrid car
crashes, and ruined families,
shouldn’t I have the CHOICE
to view it? Instead of it being
forced upon us? Sounds pretty
hypocritical if you ask me.
Not only is this change annoying, it makes using the inter-
net for research virtually impossible. To access sites we
need, we are supposed to ask
our teachers to have them unblocked. Sorry, but if I’m using Google as a search engine,
there is absolutely NO way
I’m going to make a list of
websites for my teacher to get
unblocked (which would take
a few days) when I need the
information now! Simple
words such as “video,”
“death,” “curses,” and so on
are blocked in pages no matter
where they are. Do you know
how many useful websites
drop the F-bomb? All the
good ones! It’s not my fault if
the author is using blocked
words. Basically every site
you try to access has some
kind of blocked word and you
end up spending more time
rewording your search than
getting any information. Starts
to make you wonder how long
it will be before the state
starts taking away computers
and books, because art books
have naked people in them
and in Harry Potter people
die, and the dictionary has the
word “penis” in it. Not appropriate.
In conclusion, these days we
are living in a more and more
sheltered world. It is not beneficial for us to grow up thinking this world is full of innocence and pure things, because it certainly is not. The
world is a frightening and
scary place and we need to be
aware of that to prepare us for
being adults and living on our
own after high school! It is
my opinion that this blocking
has gone too far in an attempt
to keep us “safe” from bad
websites. I’m not saying accessing pornography and
downright inappropriate material is a-okay from school
computers, but blocking educational websites because they
have “bad words” in them?
Come on.
SCHOOL PARKING
SITUATION
by Markus Nevil
Since the new rules have been
implemented, there has been a
lot of confusion regarding the
parking situation. There are
currently more staff members
than the front parking lot can
hold, which is why there are
so many teacher spots in the
student parking lot. The
school is required by law to
guarantee a parking spot to
staff members, thus the numbering system was created so
that teachers always have a
spot to park. Some teachers
need to go to the grade school
and then come back to a class
in the high school. If they didn’t have a reserved parking
spot and there were no spots
left, then a class would be left
without a teacher.
Currently, there are only
enough stalls numbered for
staff members. If the rest were
ever numbered, everyone
would get a pass corresponding to a numbered stall. There
are no plans to number the
stalls this year, and they cannot be numbered while there
is snow on the ground. There
is, however, a suggestion
drafted by a group of students
that would require parking
passes. They suggest that
parking passes be available
for purchase for about $10.
Seniors would be able to buy
them first, then Juniors, then
any Sophomores that have
their licenses. There would be
only enough passes for the
number of stalls in the parking
lot, so if you had a pass then
no matter when you come in
during the day, you would
have a stall reserved somewhere in the parking lot. Anyone without a pass in the
parking lot would be fined
and/or asked to move their
vehicle.
Whether or not this plan is
enacted, the overflow parking
in the basketball court (which
will be plowed throughout the
winter) will be available to
anybody, with or without a
pass, but does not guarantee a
parking spot. An additional
gravel parking lot could be
added once the snow melts
above the basketball court if
there is a need. If there is no
parking available (parking on
the grass is illegal), then students are allowed to park in
the Veteran’s Park parking lot
across from the Elementary
School. Students will also
soon be able to park in the
tennis court parking lot (the U
-shaped thing in front of the
tennis court), as soon it is
plowed.
There have been concerns
over the condition of the parking lot during winter. Student
Senate has talked with Mr.
Tadlock, and we have agreed
that we need the back row
completely plowed and the
ramp to the overflow parking
salted. So far, both of these
have been implemented.
FCCLA
by Julie Gartzke
FCCLA has had a busy semester. From the Madrigal
Dinner to the Cluster Meeting
in Cincinnati, our members
have been very active.
Laura Paulson, Hannah Wolf,
Elizabeth Brunner, Kristin
Riniker, and Jenna Romich
were New Glarus’s representatives at the FCCLA Cluster,
which was held in Cincinnati,
Ohio, this year. They attended different sessions on
topics such as “Feed the Children,” Caribbean cooking, and
a brand new STAR event.
They also visited the National
Underground Railroad Freedom, a museum which tells
the fascinating story of the
enslaved people who crossed
the Ohio River seeking freedom. See Jenna, Laura, Hannah, Kristin, or Liz for full
details.
December and January will be
other busy months for
FCCLA. The Holiday Tour
of Homes was held on December 14. Six homes were
lined up for this year’s Tour.
FCCLA members acted as
guides at the houses.
The 50/50 raffle, with our
very enthusiastic announcers,
will continue at basketball
games this winter. Thank you
to everyone who has supported the 50/50 raffle in the
past by buying tickets. The
next 50/50 raffle date is January 5, so be sure to sign up.
Also on January 5 is our first
Spaghetti Supper. FCCLA
members are needed to serve
food, run the cashbox, and
clean up. Don’t let Liz be the
only one who gets to have all
the fun! Please sign up on the
FCCLA board outside Mrs.
Schober’s room. The proceeds from the 50/50 raffle
and the Spaghetti Suppers
fund the Jessica Tidd Memorial Scholarship.
Thank you also to all the
FCCLA members who prepared food for the Madrigal
Dinner and thank you to all
the Jr. FCCLA members who
served.
DECEMBER FFA
UP-DATE NEWS
by Melissa Disch
IMPORTAN NOTICE!!! To
all FFA member that sold
fruit. FFA Fruit will be in
Wednesday Dec 17 please
have it picked up soon as possible, and get it delivered.
Turn in money to Mr. Ziegler
or Daren Wittmann.
Important FFA Dates….FFA/
Alumni Bowling Tournament
…..12/29 At 7:00 This is
opening to all member just
show up ready to bowl.
State FFA Degree Application
Due...2/2/09, See Mr. Ziegler
for details. Requirements are
Green Hand and Chapter Degree and SAE.
State Band and Chorus audition tapes due… 2/5/09 See
Mr. Ziegler for details.
FFA Speaking Contest…
2/9/09 Topics, Job interview,
creed (freshmen only), Extemporaneous, Prepared, Discussion, see FFA Board for
details.
Polar Plunge… 2/21/09 See
Melissa Disch for more information
FFA Week.. 2/21-28 More
details will be giving out in
the January FFA Meeting.
Our FFA Officer Team would
like thank everyone who donated money for our local
giving tree. All of that money
was spent on toys for kids in
are our community.
KEEP YOUR EYES on are
FFA Board for upcoming
events and sign up sheets.
Coming soon our very own
FFA website.
STUDENT SENATE HISTORY
By Markus Nevil
Here’s a list of the most relevant resolutions that the Student Senate has discussed and
passed since its establishment:
·
·
·
·
·
·
·
·
Brock Jenson, Nicole Brunker and Kelsey Bartle
and the FFA’s donation to the Community Giving Tree. The money for these gifts was raised
through a pork sandwich fundraiser.
·
·
Seniors allowed to be permanently first in the lunch
line (2006)
Cheerleaders eligible for
homecoming court and
queen (2006)
More choices for lunch,
most expensive item not
always the only one left
(2006)
Microwaves in Commons
(2007)—since discontinued.
Five laptops bought for
the library, they can be
checked out for students
to use at home (2008)…
Note: The Student Senate
used its own funds
Two additional laptops
bought (2008)
Non-voting Student Representative for the School
Board (2008)
All male sports eligible to
be Homecoming King, if
involved two or more
years (2006)
Push for repair of water
fountains and bathroom
locks (2006, recurring)
Having a break on early
release Mondays (2006)
·
·
·
·
Consulted on block scheduling (2007)
“Play-aways” suggested
for the library (2008)
Three new recycling bins
bought (2008)
Buying a TV for the Commons (2008)… Note:
There is a lot of confusion
over this: the Student Senate used ITS OWN
MONEY, which was allotted to us (and all other
organizations) yearly by
the school--not through
tax money.
STUDENT SENATE
CURRENT WORK
& ACCOMPLISHMENTS
by Mahala Berry
Many people say that Student
Senate is unable to make accomplishments for the benefit
of the school, but this is untrue. At this moment Student
Senate is working on several
projects to help improve the
school.
One important issue that Student Senate is attempting to
ameliorate is the parking crisis. There is a parking committee meeting and working
on solving this issue, as best
as they can.
Another matter which Student
Senate is in the act of accomplishing is improving the use
of the monitors in the commons. Although at this point
in time the monitors are only
showing the announcements,
Student Senate had spoken to
Mr. Tadlock about the possibility of allowing students to
watch the news and/or state
sporting events during break
and lunch. Mr. Tadlock
agreed that there is a chance
that this idea for the monitors
would be plausible.
There are several other
changes Student Senate is
making such as larger shelves
in the bathroom so students
school books do not get wet,
and also the recycling bins
which are placed around the
school. Student Senate is
made to fix issues that the student body has. In order for
problems to be fixed, it is necessary for students to inform
their Student Senate representatives of their concerns. If
change is wanted by the student body, then go to the Student Senate so that change can
be made.
BASKETBALL
by Brendan Pittman
Well, the winter sports season
is off and the New Glarus
Basketball program has hit the
ground running. Boys Basketball has a plethora of talent.
You have Jake Bast who
really knows how to use his
sorcerer skills to put the ball
in the hoop.
On top you have Log-Dog and
Cash Money who can knock
down the three-ball in tight
situations.
Other contributors include Jeremy L. who can roundhouse
opponents with ease,
Rhino can pretty much do anything (the force is strong in his
family), Matt F. who has the
eye of the tiger, and Cam Jeglum who is the ultimate playmaker. Cam is pretty much the
Han Solo of our basketball
team.
Due to great team bonding at
Matt’s car crash, the Knights
have steam rolled over recent
opponents (Pecatonica and
Lodi). If this team can learn the
ways of the Jedi, there will be
nothing to stop them in their
quest for glory.
****************
The girls basketball program
also looks sharp. Led by the
ging trio of Tanya Grutner,
Kaitlin Schluter, and Coach
Rindy, the Lady Knights seem
to have the fire to really burn up
their opponents.
Rounding off the Knights’
squad includes Brittany Harried,
Michelle Preston, Alissa
Siegenthaler, and Rachel Miller.
Many of these players have a
specific role and Coach Rindy
hopes to exploit their skills to
ensure victory.
WRESTLING
by Jenna Knapp
A Special Interview
with Benjamin
Schmitt
How is the season going so
far?
So when do you get to start
wrestling again?
I might be back this season, I
might not. If I do get to come
back, it will be around conference tournament time. I really
hope I get to.
BIZARRE HOLIDAYS
Not too great, we don’t have
enough fans like we used to.
Do you miss Cole and his
crazy socks?
Of course, I miss him. Kalvin
still has a good eye for the
crazy socks. Kalvin is doing
really well, but when he
graduates next year, it is going to be my time to shine!
For those who don’t know,
who is Kalvin?
A legend. He is a senior at
Belleville High School.
How is Cole doing at UWMadison so far?
He is doing well. He decided
to red shirt this year, and he
has open tournaments on the
weekends. He has wrestled in
Minnesota, Iowa, Kansas, and
Connecticut.
What is red shirting?
It is where you don’t compete
with the Badgers varsity team
but you just take a year to
train and improve. Next year
he will be part of the varsity
team.
by Natalie Morgan
As the New Year approaches
and the 2009 calendar starts
getting marked up with events
ranging from spring break to
the last day of school, there
are a few milestone occasions
during the long trek to summer. Here’s a list of what I
believe to be the strangest,
wildest, coolest, and ‘daymaking’ holidays of winter
2009.
January 1 – Z-Day: in honor
of those whose surnames
begin with Z.
Jan. 9 – Play God Day
Jan. 12 – Feast of Fabulous
Wild Men
Jan. 19 – Brew a Potion Day
Jan. 27 – Thomas Crapper
Day (Toilet Day)
Jan. 30 – Bubble Wrap Appreciation Day
Squirrel Appreciation Day
Penguin Awareness Day
February – Return Carts to the
Super Mart Month
Feb. 5 – Disaster Day
Feb. 7 – Wave All Your Fingers
at Your Neighbor Day
Feb. 13 – Get a Different Name
Day
Feb. 26 – Tell a Fairytale Day
Feb 29 – Dump Your Significant Jerk Day
March 1 – Pig Day
Mar. 3 - What if Cats and Dogs
Had Opposable Thumbs?
Day
Mar. 15 – Buzzard’s Day
Mar. 16 – Everything You Do
Is Right Day
Mar. 18 – Awkward Moments
Day
Mar. 20 – Snowman Burning
Day
Mar. 27 – “Joe” Day: Everyone
who hates their name is
called “Joe” on this day
PROCRASTINATION
STATION
by Chase Chapman
Last minute gift ideas for the
hard-to-please
What?
Why?
· Light up LED Santa Slippers—Like they’ll ever
wear these on the other 364
days of the year.
· A Christmas Story Leg
Lamp—If they’re a fan of
the movie, they probably
already have one. It’s still a
major award!
· Snowman Poop hot chocolate with marshmallows—
mmm, . . . the agony!
·
·
·
·
Barry Manilow Christmas
CDs—Saw plenty of them
last year?
Giant Outdoor Holiday
Inflatables—A wonderful
way to say, “I bought you
something bigger, but not
necessarily better.”
Any kind of Festive Necktie—you love your dad,
don’t you?
Creepy Robotic Santa—
Of course, it dances and
sings menacingly; otherwise it wouldn’t make
kids cry hard enough.
Sorry if I wasn’t any help.
HOW TO SUCCEED IN BUSINESS
WITHOUT
REALLY TRYING
Performances March 20, 21, & 22
CAST LIST
J Pierpont Finch
Bud Frump
Hedy LaRue
Twimble
Rosemary Pilkington
Jenkins
Smitty
Wally Womper
Bratt
Miss Krumholtz
Ovington
Book Voice
J.B. Biggley
Gatch
TV Announcer
Paris Original Girl
Wicket Girl
Tackaberry
Miss Jones
Wicket Girl
Peterson
Davis
Toynbee
Johnson
Matthews
Ensemble:
Secretaries, Policemen,
Scrub Women
Cory Jones
Julia Gartzke
Ariel Bolly
Kristin Riniker
Laura Paulson
Kari Yaun
Tara Crary
Sam Janowiak
Tierra Brinkmeier
Larissa Kammerud
Elizabeth Brunner
Will Skolaski
Brian Anderson
Malachi Braughler
Brooke Bloedorn
Whitney Buesser
Jena Sunderlage
Jessica O’Brien
Olivia Crary
Polly Chiarello
Kevin Yaun
Anna Meding
C. C. Ford
Eric Anderson
John Klossner
Danielle Way
Kyle Burke
Nate Gabel