La belle boheme

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La belle boheme
for the woman in every mom
M
SPECIAL HOLIDAY ISSUE
RAISING
A WELL-ROUNDED
CHILD
SPOILED!
HAVE PARENTS
GONE TOO FAR?
WIN
A BEST FRIEND
MAKEOVER!
La belle
boheme
DRAMATIC DRESSES FOR
A NIGHT AT THE OPERA
NOVEMBER/DECEMBER 09
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table of contents
features | departments
Nov • Dec 2009
features
La Belle Boheme 40
Stunning dresses and gowns that set the stage for a dramatic entrance.
Lonely Moms Looking Online 50
How online connections can save your sanity.
Spoiled 54
Kids who have it all and the parents who give it to them.
Dressed to Impress 58
Stunning tablescapes that will dazzle your party guests.
departments
the M list 17
Gorgeous shoes, bags, and accessories that
will add pizzazz to your winter wardrobe. Also
our favorite movies, music, and more!
momentum 22
The ten best tips for traveling with kids and five
penny pinching ideas to celebrate the holidays
without breaking the bank.
community 26
Sarah Lucas, local philanthropist and mother,
shares how you can help your children make
the world a better place.
academics & development 30
Dr. Korb shares his thoughts on the importance
of Emotional Intelligence.
image health & beauty 36
Great tips for staying healthy and trim while
feasting through the holidays and new breakthrough discovery that may provide the answer
to younger looking skin.
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food & merriment 62
Chef Rodolfo Castellanos Reyes of Le Mar
Restaurant shares his recipe for Cau Cau.
emporium 65
Shop our Holiday Gift Guide and find the perfect
gifts for family and friends!
sampled 74
Delicious and healthy meals for your family that
taste great and can be ready in 20 minutes or less!
roam 78
Don’t miss out on the fun! Discover the best
holiday celebrations throughout the Bay Area for
the whole family.
laughing matters 80
Chickysara and her hubby disagree on how to
spend free time.
a moment with... 82
A revealing chat with a possible future pirate,
Maribella, age 3.
M • everymommagazine.com 9
letter froM the editor
greetings
T
his time last year, my partner, Norma, and I were putting together the very first issue of M Magazine. This issue marks
the end of our first year and is a testament to just how far two
Moms with a little dream and a lot of passion can go. It has not been
the easiest endeavor, especially in light of the economy. But we are here
to say that things are looking up and our little project has really taken
off, thanks to the support of many wonderful people. To our lovely
sales staff, Charlene, Marie, Mary, Kelly, and Bethanne, who love the
magazine enough to want to share it with our advertisers, potential
advertisers, and everyone else—thank you!—your support is invaluable. And to our advertisers for allowing us the privilege of promoting
your businesses—we know there is other media out there—thank you
for choosing us. To our contributors, writers, photographers, and editors—this magazine simply could not be without your efforts. And a
big thank you to Jeff, our fearless leader—this would be impossible
without his hard work, determination, unfailing optimism, and unwavering faith in Norma and me. To our families who have supported
us while we work late nights, weekends, and holidays, you are our
raison d’etre. To our readers, I hope that you will enjoy this holiday
issue. We have many beautiful things to show you—pretty dresses for
this season’s gatherings, shoes and accessories to add color and style
to your winter wardrobe, gorgeous holiday tables that are dressed to
impress the dinner guests at your next party, and a gift gallery of lovely
gifts for everyone on your list. For your reading pleasure, don’t miss
Spoiled, it’s an eye-opener to just how indulgent some parents can be,
and Dr. Korb has contributed another great article, this time on how
to teach children emotional intelligence. Of course there’s practical
advice in Momentum, fun movies, books, and must-see TV in the
Media Cabinet, and lots of practical tips for the holidays. As always,
I’d love to hear ideas, suggestions, and anything else you would like to
share with us. Happy Holidays and Thank You for reading M!
on the cover
Cindy
Editor in Chief
Emily, R.J. and Sarah
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Special thanks to:
Judge Luckey, The City of Palo Alto,
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M • everymommagazine.com 11
Norma Lopez Molina
Creative Director
The inspiration for this issue’s fashion spread
was a mix of the paintings of Toulouse-Lautrec,
Puccini’s Opera, La Bohème, and the narrative
style photos of Vanity Fair magazine–definitely
a big mix! But the best part was the mix of
contributors–from our beautiful group of main
characters to fabulous hair dresser, Paulo Candido, and the amazing jewelry from some of the
Bay Area’s finest jewelers. One of my favorite
things were the set and location provided by
The City of Palo Alto, the Lucy Stern Theater, the
Children’s Theater and José Luis Moscovich from
West Bay Opera for the set of La Bohème. To
all Merci beaucoup!
Contributors
Lana Bowers
Lana Bowers holds a Masters of Fine Arts
(MFA) degree in creative writing and enjoys
writing creative non-fiction (not an oxymoron!). She is an international businesswoman
and is currently working on a novella for
fourth- and fifth-grade readers. She and her
husband live in Los Gatos, CA along with
their 4-year-old son, Ben. She admits to being
a bit of a pushover when it comes to Ben,
though she’s committed to getting better.
Damon Korb MD
Dr. Korb is the director of The Center
for Developing Minds (CDM) and board
certified behavioral and developmental
pediatrician. The CDM is a multidisciplinary pediatric clinic that provides
care for children and young adults who
struggle with behavior issues, learning
difficulties, attention problems, social
skill deficits, autism spectrum disorders,
developmental delays and psychological
disorders.
Jeremy Waldorph
Jeremy Waldorph is a celebrity and fashion
photographer based out of Los Angeles and
the San Francisco bay area. His work has been
featured in such publications as Elle Décor,
Self, 944, LA Confidential and Label magazine.
Whether it’s a new born in her mother’s arms
or a celebrity on the red carpet, Jeremy’s
passion for photography runs deep and is
demonstrated within his body of work.
http://web.mac.com/jeremywaldorph.
Monina Wright
For the past 13 years, Monina Wright has catered to some of the Bay Area’s most discerning
clientele and has had her work featured in
several publications and films. Monina combines
her makeup artistry and results-oriented skin
care to help her clients achieve the look and
image they need to stay fresh, authentic and relevant. Monina is the owner of Monina Wright
Skincare & Beauty Lounge in San Jose. Learn
more about Monina and her results oriented
skincare treatments at www.naturalimagesmakeup.com.
M
Losing weight has never been so easy!
Publisher | Editor in Chief
Cindy Cruz
Publisher | Creative Director
Norma Lopez Molina
Public Relations
[email protected]
Contributing writers:
Amy Graff
Cindy Cruz
Damon Korb, M.D.
Lana Bowers
Lisa Hurd-Walker
Monina Wright
Sabrina Martinez
Sarah Lucas
Contributing Photographer
Jeremy Waldorph
Copy Editors
Cecile Cruz
Christina Howell
Advertising Account Managers
Bethann Grisham
Charlene Rudee
Kelly Christensen
Marie Barry
Mary Dokter
Online Production
Cecile Cruz
Jeff Muhleman
President, M Magazine
M is published by M Magazine LLC.
P.O. Box 2486
Morgan Hill, CA 95037
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M magazine the magazine for every mom is published bimonthly by M
magazine LLC. M magazine will not assume any liability or responsibility
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© 2009 M magazineLLC. All rights reserved Printed in the USA.
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M • everymommagazine.com 15
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the M list
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the M list
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M • everymommagazine.com 19
the M list
On disc or download
media cabinet
On the tube
The Good Wife
Alicia Florrick (Julianna Margulies), is the wife of a prominent politician (Chris Noth)
who’s been caught in an explosive sex scandal and accused of misappropriating public
funds. With her husband away in prison, Alicia sets out to start a new life by returning to
work in a high powered law firm in order to support their two children. As Alicia gracefully
struggles to gain respect in the workplace both from her tough-as-nails superiors and
young, competitive peers, she begins to find confidence and self-respect as she realizes her abilities to survive and succeed in spite of her husband’s disgrace. An intriguing
look at what happens during the aftermath of a life-shattering scandal and what it takes
to go on. Tuesdays 10:00 pm on CBS.
On the page
Deedee Divine’s Totally Skewed Guide to Life by Diana Estill
e•go•me•chan•ix
Phoenix: Wolfgang Amadeus Phoenix
This French indie-rock sensation delivers a phenomenally energetic album with catchy lyrics cleverly interpreted by the very
appealing and distinctive voice of front man, Thomas Mars. The
album has a diverse tempo and a well defined style. Favorite
tunes include Fences, Lisztomania, 1901, and Girlfriend. If you
are looking for an even faster tempo check out the newly released, pumped up version of this album, Wolfgang Amadeus
Phoenix Remixes. This version will boost your mood and your
energy level from the moment you hit play.
Deedee Divine totally understands what it is to be a wife and mother, and most of all, a
woman. She can tell you why women won’t read maps, how to get along with your husband,
and how to make it through a long distance road trip with the kids. Relationship problems?
Deedee has chapters devoted on how to make things work. Having trouble losing weight?
Deedee has answers. Although this book is funny, it should still be considered a useful and
practical (even if totally skewed) guide to life. Life is too short to take too seriously and we
could all use a little advice on how to cope with all of life’s little petty annoyances–like our
husbands and the kids. This book is confirmation that laughter is truly the best medicine.
[ee-goh- muh-kan-ix]
–noun
1. a person who repairs and
maintains the ego, the “I” or self of any person..
2. a worker who is skilled in the use of tools,
machines, equipment relating function of one’s
hair, make-up, or that mediates between the
primitive drives of the id and the demands of
the social and physical environment, as in: She
looks amazing even under stress, who is her
egomechanic?
On DVD & Blu-Ray
Diary of a Wimpy Kid: Dog Days
by Jeff Kinney
My eight-year old is a die hard Wimpy Kid fan and when
he picked this newly released book off the store shelf,
he never let it go. In fact, he climbed into the shopping
cart and started reading it right then and there, leaving
me to shop in peace. This is the fourth installment of
Jeff Kinney’s incredibly popular Diary of a Wimpy Kid
series and it doesn’t disappoint. Dog Days follows funny
boy, Greg Heffly, on his summer adventures. Greg has
big plans for the summer—none of them involving rules
or responsibilities, spending time outdoors, or hanging
out with his family. Like most pre-teen boys, all he really wants to do is just
watch TV and play
video games. His parents, however, have
other plans. What’s a
boy to do? Fight with
his friends, avoid hairy
guys at the pool, and
discover things about
his childhood that he
never wanted to know–
just to name a few.
20 M • everymommagazine.com
How I Met Your Mother Seasons 1-4
If you’ve never seen an episode of How I Met
Your Mother, now in its 5th season, you’re missing out on some good laughs. While there’s
nothing odd about the show’s premise––about
a father, Ted, telling his teenage kids the story
of how he met their mother––it is rather odd
that he doesn’t seem to mind including all of the
racy and embarrassingly explicit details in his
narration. But that’s what makes the show so
funny. Through a series of flashbacks and Ted’s
voice-over narrative, we follow him and his pals,
playboy Barney, ex-girlfriend Robin, and married
love birds Marshall and Lily, on their hilarious escapades as they journey towards Ted’s destiny.
A lively cast and clever writing make all five seasons of this comedy a must-see!
www.egomechanixsalon.com
Ego Mechanix
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2nd floor suite
San Jose, Ca. 95113
408-280-1275
M • everymommagazine.com 21
Momentum
We have programs for your little ones... and you!
holiday travel
Whether you’re 8 or 80 come join the premier club in the Bay Area.
Santa Clara Swim Club offers programs for swimmers of all ages and
abilities, from water babies to Masters. We’ve got something for EVERYONE!
10 best tips for traveling with kids
By Amy Graff
1) Leave at the right time. If your children nap, depart for your
road trip just before they’re ready to fall asleep and you might buy
yourself a few hours of bliss in the car. This can also work on long
flights, especially red eyes.
2) Consult a packing list. You can easily find a list geared specifically to families online, so you don’t forget to bring the Children’s
Tylenol, baby wipes, and most importantly the teddy bears your
kids need to fall asleep.
3) Make your kids carry their own luggage. Even a 4-year-old can
roll a small suitcase on wheels through an airport. There’s no reason
that mom and dad should have to schlep their little one’s stuff. You’ll
save your back and teach your kids some responsibility.
time. Return home on a Friday or Saturday and give the family
some time to transition back into everyday life.
5) Pack tons of snacks. It’s not easy finding inexpensive, healthy
snacks for kids when you’re on the road. Stuff your suitcase with
nuts, granola bars, and dried fruit––and bring twice as much as you
think you’ll need.
10) Have the right attitude. If you’re stressed, your kids will pick up
on it and become fussy. But if you’re confident and upbeat, they’ll
take everything in stride.
6) Pick a hotel with a pool. A swimming pool provides a family
with endless free entertainment.
Ultimate packing list for traveling with kids
Packing for one person is a job in itself—and when you have
kids the work becomes almost overwhelming. Diapers, socks,
kids’ sunblock, hats, baby wipes...How do you ever remember
to stuff it all into the suitcase? Check out “Pack Me...On the
Road Again,” a packing list featuring everything you would
ever need to bring on a trip for you and your family. You can
buy a full pad of 50 lists printed on recycled paper online at
Lobotome.com for $9.95.
7) Buy travel journals. Your kids can fill them with postcards, ticket
stubs, and brochures, and they can keep themselves busy writing
down their memories from the trip.
8) Find time to run around. If you’re on a road trip, stop every two
hours, even if it’s to just let the kids chase each other around the
car. Plane delayed? Nearly every airport has a children’s play area—
go find it.
9) Never come home on a Sunday. The last thing you want to do
the morning after returning from a relaxing trip is wake up at the
crack of dawn to get the kids to school and yourself to work on
Amy Graff is a savvy world-traveler and blogger. You can read more
about Amy’s trips and tips on www.onthegowithamy.blogspot.com
Swim School
Senior group
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Introducing children to competitive swimming
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©iStockphoto.com/ Fertnig
4) Create an art pack. Fill a small canvas bag with crayons, pens,
scissors, and paper. This will keep the kids occupied in the car, on
the plane, at the restaurant, in the hotel.
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22 M • everymommagazine.com
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M • everymommagazine.com 23
Have a Penny Pinching Christmas
5 ways to save money this holiday season
By Cindy Cruz
Don’t you just love holidays—the carols, the cookies, the brightly
wrapped present under the tree, the exorbitant credit card bills?
Yes, that’s right—unfortunate, but true—credit card bills are an
inevitable part of the holiday season. While Christmas is a time
filled with joy and wonder, it’s also a pretty pricey holiday. With
today’s economy, many families are looking for ways to enjoy the
holidays without overspending. Here are five penny pinching tips
for keeping your costs down and your spirits up!
Merr-E Christmas - Instead of spending money on Christmas
cards and postage, why not send your greetings electronically? There
are several greeting card websites to choose from and many cards are
musical, animated, and interactive! Not only are e-cards fun, they are
free and eco-friendly too! Our favorites: www.bluemountain.com and
www.123greetings.com.
It’s the Thought that Counts - Create handcrafted gifts
and decorations. Handmade presents are unique and the people
on your Christmas list will appreciate the time and energy you
put into their one-of-a-kind gifts. You don’t have to be an expert
craftsman; the Internet and your local public library have many
simple and inexpensive homemade gift and holiday decorating
ideas to choose from.
24 M • everymommagazine.com
It’s Better to Give – When
times are tough, it’s truly often
better to give than to receive. Even
if your own family is struggling,
helping others who are needier is
always an eye opener and will foster
an attitude of gratitude—as in be thankful for what you DO have. There
are many homeless shelters and soup kitchens where the whole family can
participate together to volunteer time; or your family can start a drive and
collect food, clothing and/or toys from friends, neighbors and co-workers
to deliver to a local shelter.
©istockphoto/cglade
Momentum
money matters
Christmas is for the Children – Suggest to adult friends and
family that only the children should get presents this year. This will
save everyone a lot of time and money. Fewer people on your Christmas list means less time at the mall and more money in your pocket.
You will be surprised at how agreeable the grown-ups in your family
will be to this idea!
Christmas Cocktail Soiree – Instead of an expensive Christmas dinner, why not have a cocktail party instead? Have guests bring an
appetizer and a bottle of wine to share, this way the financial burden of
holiday entertaining does not fall entirely on the host. The point, after
all, is not to spend money but time together!
M • everymommagazine.com 25
coM munity
the important things
How to Help Your Kids Make a Difference
By Sarah Lucas
As a mother of four, I have struggled for years to find meaningful ways for my children to help others. But it isn’t as simple
as it would seem. It’s not that children are not empathetic or
kind or generous, it may just be that there is a lack of proper
avenues for them to express these qualities. In parenting when
we are struggling for a solution, as is so often the case, it is the
children, themselves, who come up with the right answer.
Two years ago, my daughter Kate, who was then nine,
came home from school and announced that she wanted to
help kids in Africa. She put together a small list of girls who
she knew shared her concerns and, with the idea that they
could be “angels of change,” they started “ChAngels”
Things started out small but eventually, more projects were
proposed and meetings followed where ideas were brainstormed, research was conducted, fundraising events were
planned, and site visits were coordinated. It was going well,
but things were a little complicated. Like any process, we
needed to assess what was working and what wasn’t. After a
few minor alterations, we have created a wonderful model for
participating in meaningful projects with our children in our
community. ChAngels is now in its third year and these are
the lessons we have learned:
that support these interests. By laying out our projects for the
year, we can ensure that our time together is productive and
fun, rather than spending the time trying to figure out what
we are going to do.
Too much burden equals not enough enjoyment.
The mother side of this mother-daughter group is responsible
for filtering opportunities and presenting options. The girls
make the ultimate decisions about which projects to pursue,
but they don’t have to own the entire process. By presenting
exciting local options, this also helps to curtail their oftenexpressed urge to jump on a plane to Africa and help a village
with whatever it may need. Their enthusiasm is contagious,
but we have to rein them in from time to time.
Philanthropy is fun but… it is event more fun with
friends. You have so much to talk about after each experience
and it would not hold the same meaning working on your
own. We are a small group but together we feel powerful,
important, relevant and, truly, like we are making a small difference in a big world. Somehow, that small change is adding
up to a big reward for all of us.
Pencil it in! At the start of our new season, we brainstorm
areas of interest and then we find organizations or projects
26 M • everymommagazine.com
Make a connection. One of our favorite projects was
cooking dinner for the residents of the Ronald McDonald
House in Palo Alto, a building we had driven by for years.
This involved planning and shopping within a budget (great
for practicing math facts), cooking together, and delivering
the meal to the residents. We were given a tour of the facilities and the girls were able to ask important questions about
the residents and their sick children. Now, each time we drive
past the building, we think about the families staying there
and feel a sense of pride that we are partnering with important organizations in our community.
Keep the change. We hold one to two fundraising events
each year and collect spare change all year long. We email our
friends about the event details and ask that they also bring
their spare change. You can’t believe how those coins in the
car or in Dad’s desk drawer can add up.
Margaret Mead said, “Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed people can change the world. Indeed, it is the only
thing that ever has.” I say, bring on the ChAngels!
M • everymommagazine.com 27
acadeM ics & develop Ment
M magazine education guide
“The Carden curriculum is
designed to address the
development of the whole
child, combining cultivation
of sound academic skills and
focus on personal and
character development.”
What CDS Parents have to say:
Carden Day School of San Jose
The Carden Method is based on the philosophy that life and
learning are enhanced by the ability to interconnect academic,
social, and artistic skills through a strong foundation of knowledge and is specifically designed to help children develop their
innate powers of analytical and organized thinking in a balanced
and challenging environment.
Carden Day School of San Jose offers a classical curriculum in
a modern world. This unique combination of academic excellence in a warm, nurturing environment for grades pre-K through
eighth provides students with an education of unparalleled quality.
Carden Day School of San Jose, adheres to the belief that real
education develops sound judgment and requires practical application of knowledge in all aspects of learning and in every phase of
life. Knowing that artistic and intellectual expression must come
from within, teachers at CDS lead the students from a point of
knowledge to a realization of facts that are natural outcomes—
thus students are taught cause and effect. Because of the attention
paid to each individual child, parents experience the joy of watching their child’s personality unfold as she is mentored through the
years by gifted and multi-talented teachers.
The Carden Curriculum
The Carden curriculum is designed to address the development of the whole child, combining cultivation of sound academic skills and focus on personal and character development.
Along with a strong academic program, life lessons in courtesy,
responsibility and gratitude are also taught.
Small group instruction provided by CDS teachers gives
28 M • everymommagazine.com
students the opportunity to express themselves and progress at
their own rate. Their subjects are integrated within each school
year and from grade to grade so that students are not learning
isolated information but instead a beautiful woven fabric of
knowledge. Students learn to express themselves orally, in writing, through music and through fine arts in this multi-faceted
program. To further the students’ knowledge of culture and the
world, CDS offers a variety of assemblies, field trips, drama
presentations and sports activities.
Carden Day School’s academic program offers Reading, Spelling,
Grammar and Dictation, Composition, Arithmetic, Science, Social
Studies, French, Computers, Music, Latin, and Art. Middle school
students also enjoy annual trips to Science Camp, the East Coast,
and school trips to Quebec and France to practice their French,
as well as China to further their understanding of their annual
exchange students from Carden China.
Beyond the academic day, students are able to further develop
their individuality through Carden Day School’s many after
school clubs and activity-packed extended care program. A
diverse school dedicated to the development of the whole child
both within the classroom and in the world beyond, CDS teachers and staff attend not only to academic teaching but also to
character development of the child. To that end teachers at CDS
pay close attention to students’ development inside the classroom
as well as out on the play yard.
CDS provides the perfect environment before, during, and after
school. Your child will thrive socially in a caring atmosphere
while receiving the highest quality education.
Lisa Garvey:
“Academically, the curriculum is very advanced, and it’s great to watch the kids rise to
the challenge. But it’s equally impressive to see them learn to love music, art, French,
chess, etc. The teachers and the leadership at Carden have far surpassed our expectations!”
Michael & Michele Reen:
We’ve been with Carden Day School since 2004, and we have been extremely pleased
with the academic and social development of both our children. We chose to go with
Carden for many reasons, but what stands out was that the upper grade students were
happy, energetic, well-mannered, and courteous to parents, teachers, and the younger
students as well. This is what impressed us most.
Carden students
have been accepted to:
MIT
Harker
UCLA
Notre Dame
UC Irvine
Bellarmine
UC Berkeley
Mitty
UC Davis
Presentation
Santa Clara
St. Francis
USC
Pinewood
Amherst
Valley Christian
George Washington University
and more!
M • everymommagazine.com 29
Emotional Intelligence
Raising a well-rounded child
By Damon Korb, MD
For many years, people have tried to equate a person’s
intelligence to success. Schools used intelligence quotient
(IQ) tests to choose children for gifted programs and some
companies even used IQ scores when hiring. But, do people
with high IQ’s make good friends and happy marriages? Not
necessarily. Do all intelligent individuals rise continually up
the corporate ladder? Not always; there are smart people who
stall in their climb. There seems to be another factor that corresponds better with success in life. This factor is emotional
intelligence.
Emotional intelligence is the social side of being smart. It
includes an awareness of one’s feelings, and the ability to trust
those feelings to make good decisions in life. It’s the demonstration of self-control in the face of emotional upsets. It’s coping with frustration and being motivated and remaining optimistic despite setbacks in working toward goals. It’s taking
the perspective of others and demonstrating empathy. And, it’s
social skills – getting along with and leading others. In practical terms, the emotional quotient (EQ) is the
ability to read between the lines, to size up situations, and
to be intuitive. Since 1995, when psychologist Daniel Goleman wrote his book, Emotional Intelligence: Why It Can Matter
More Than IQ, EQ has become a popular term. Researchers
now postulate that it is the EQ, and not the IQ, that is a
stronger determinant of a person’s success in life.
Unlike the IQ, an EQ is a concept, not a standardized test
that results in a score. Emotionally intelligent people possess
five qualities:
•Self-awareness – a person’s ability to understand and be
aware of their feelings and moods.
•Self-control – the skill that helps people display their
emotions and actions in socially appropriate ways. It helps one
control anger, sadness, and fear.
•Motivation – the trait that helps a person use their emotions
to persevere and reach their goals.
•Empathy – the ability to understand how another
person feels.
•Social-skills – how to interact with others in social situations,
the ability to carry on a conversation and deal with other’s
emotions, and being socially competent.
In order to raise a well-rounded child, parents must sometimes make decisions that seem to go against the grain. In
the movie, The Shining, Jack Nicholson delivers the famous
line, “All work and no play makes Johnny a dull boy.” In the
conversation of intelligence, that quote could not be more
true. Parents often overlook the importance of the EQ and
focus their parenting efforts on promoting a child’s already
advanced skills reflected by the IQ. Generally speaking, if a
child lacks critical EQ skills, parents should seek out opportunities to improve weaker skill areas in order to develop a
30 M • everymommagazine.com
©iStockphoto.com/ duncan1890
acadeM ics & develop Ment
schools & education
well-rounded child. Therefore, a talented math student does
not need to solve more math problems and a child with a sole
interest in computers should cut back on the video games;
parents should, instead, look for activities that will promote
other areas where they might need improvement.
Another important skill to develop for increasing your
child’s EQ is to help your child identify what he wants and
how he feels. This first step is where many parents falter, because some were raised by parents who taught them to hide or
deny their feelings. Don’t squelch your child’s emotions, but
give him words to identify how he feels. Say often, “What are
you feeling?” In addition, parents should model open communication about emotions. For instance, instead of directly
scolding your child, say, “I’m so angry right now!” Name your
emotions, whatever they may be, and encourage your child to
do the same. Next, help your child frame their dilemma. So,
for example, when a child becomes upset about having to turn
off the television say, “You would like to watch TV, but our
family always eats dinner at six o’clock.” Once the dilemma is
set, invite your child to solve the problem, “What should we
do?” This process, referred to as Collaborative Problem Solving, teaches a skill the child can use in any setting.
Additionally, be sure to model emotional self-control for your
child. Don’t yell when a mistake occurs. Engage in a positive
discussion. Yelling teaches your child that to get his point
across, he must yell at others. Childhood games can also teach
self-control. Games such as “Red Light/Green Light” and
“Simon Says” allow a child to practice exerting control over
his whole body.
Perseverance is another skill that can help motivate children in a variety of situations. To persevere requires patience
and patience can be practiced. Teach ways to develop patience and give examples (i.e. earning a toy slowly over a period of days or weeks, waiting to play with a friend, saving up
money for college and other examples that may have meaning
Continued on page 32
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M • everymommagazine.com
31
Emotional Intelligence
From page 30
for your child). Practice patience, for example, if
you are in line at a store, tell your child, “Hey, let’s
practice patience.” Or say, “Let’s flex our patience
muscles. Wow, you’re getting strong!” Discuss how
patience can be “short” or “long,” and how sometimes patience can be “used up.”
Research suggests that there are many benefits
to raising a child’s EQ. Well-rounded children
live happier, healthier lives. But, be realistic, it is
not necessary for children to excel at everything,
often it helps to have a specific area of strength.
It should be noted that children with high EQs
have one important thing in common: they have
had diverse experiences. Self-awareness develops
as children experience how they feel over multiple
experiences. Empathy and social skills are supported by getting to know many different people.
Motivation grows out of trying new things and
experiencing struggle and success. Let your child
watch you and know how you feel as you move
through your experiences. It is certainly possible to
increase your child’s EQ, but it is a process. It may
put all your patience practice to the test, because
raising an EQ takes time, but your whole family
will benefit from the attempt.
Visit The Center for Developing Minds on Facebook. Please
join us and other parents to share the strategies you use to raise
your well-rounded child.
Advertise
with
M magazine
call 408-834-5434 or email
[email protected]
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M • everymommagazine.com 33
health & wellness experts
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Phone:408-985-7234
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Ph: 650.948.5524
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Rafi Balabanian D.D.S.,
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the Academy of General
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practicing general and
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Dr. Balabanian restores smiles by using Lumineers®,
and has been voted “the best Invisalign® dentist” by
the readers of San Jose Magazine. He goes the extra
mile for your smile.
Since opening his
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Dr. Angela Pollard
OB/GYN
700 W. Parr Ave., Suite I
Los Gatos Ca 95032.
“Caring for the whole
woman” is the motto
of Dr. Angela Pollard,
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received her BA degree
from Stanford University, her medical degree
from the University of
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and completed residency in Obstetrics and
Gynecology from the
University of Colorado. She specializes in comprehensive obstetrical care, gynecological and obstetrical ultrasound, laparoscopic and
noninvasive surgery, hysterectomy alternatives, cancer screening,
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menopause, infertility, and weight management. Whether the
treatment is medical or surgical, Dr. Pollard and her team provide
a caring environment to address the physical, psychological and
behavioral needs of the whole patient.
34 M • everymommagazine.com
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nutritional education, behavioral support, and medical
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M • everymommagazine.com 35
Image & health
body and fitness
Sinless & Simple Holiday Feasting & Fitness Guide
By Sabrina Martinez
When I lost 110 pounds
nearly seven years ago, I
swore to never let my physical health slip back into that
danger zone again.
I am challenged, as we
all are, to keep the pounds
off. Every year, I revisit my
guidelines for staying healthy
during the holidays to make
sure I am the victorious winner of the buffet battle. I am giving you my personal arsenal of fitness weapons to help you win your own battle against those dreaded
holiday pounds. My plan is not deprivation, it’s a celebration.
Plan of Attack & Comfort Food Combat Weapons
Inspiration - You will need this for motivation and to keep
your plan of attack in action.
Hmmm, what do I stay healthy for? Whether it’s to keep up
with your children or to run a marathon, we all have numerous
reason why we are motivated to get healthy and stay healthy.
Fitness increases mental clarity and uplifts your mood. Sit down
for ten minutes and list at least five reasons you seek longevity
and optimal health. Next, get pictures of your inspiration if possible. The visual stimulation will help. Scan and send them to
yourself. Save them in your “Fit File” on your computer and post
the prints somewhere at home. When you are feeling totally
down take a glance at what you enjoy.
Having trouble coming up with inspiration?
Try using these:
Plan a Trip - Pictures of a fantastic retreat will generate happy
fantasies of adventures and relaxation and will pop you back
into Fit Mode.
Try a New Group Activity - Joining group classes or activities
like dancing, bocce, book groups, a band, or any other group
activity gives you a regularly scheduled boost of motivation. I
love to dance Salsa and kickbox so those are regular activities on
my calendar.
Pick a Person Who Embodies What You Want - Is someone
living your ideal life? Pin point at least five things that this
person is doing that you would like to implement into your own
lifestyle and do it! These are your inspirations now.
Grab Your Calendar
Now that you have your inspirations, get out and have some
fun. Block out three days in your week for at least 45 minutes of
fabulous athletic activity.
I found it easiest to review my gym schedule and commit
to at least three group classes. I kickbox, dance, and use free
weights on auto-pilot because it works best for me. I don’t
36 M • everymommagazine.com
have to think a whole lot
and I enjoy the break.
Post your new exercise
calendar up on your fridge.
Add these to your Blackberry
or work e-mail calendar too
so you can schedule other
activities around your fitness
commitments. Make these
commitments (and your
health) a priority.
You Bring the Health to the Holiday Party
Don’t count on your merry companions to prepare healthy
food selections to bring to the next holiday party. Take charge
and bring a healthy dish yourself. Make a delicious salad, a
brown rice pilaf, or other healthful selection. Grab your plate
and serve yourself a heaping portion of that healthy dish. This
makes it easy to portion control the rest of your food. You won’t
have much room left on that plate if it’s filled with your healthy
choice. This will stop the ribbing you might get about “dieting” and keep the standard phrase “it’s time to celebrate, just
eat whatever you want” from being spoken. Take a small bit of
everything thing you enjoy and add it to your plate. It’s okay to
love food, it’s tasty!
Bonus Battle Tips
• Eat a Well Balanced and Substantial Breakfast, and eat
smaller meals throughout the day
• Drink a whole glass of water before each meal. This
will make you feel full and help you with your portion
control.
Want more tips or have any questions?
Email [email protected]
Sabrina has lost and kept off 110 lbs. through healthy
nutrition and exercise. She is the Operations and
Marketing Manager at Xtreme Fitness Silicon Valley
in Campbell.
www.xtremefitsv.com 408.377.3169
Xtreme Fitness Silicon Valley
1282 White Oaks Road Campbell, CA 95008
M • everymommagazine.com 37
for the woman in every mom
iMage & health
M
beautify
WIN
BEST FRIEND MAKEOVER
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Become a fan of our
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©istockphoto/ dmbaker
or e-mail
In Search of Everlasting Youth
Break-through discovery in anti-aging research
By Monina Wright
What does Anti-Aging mean to you? Aging gracefully or fighting
back the hands of time with everything you’ve got? Imagine coming home to a flood in your kitchen. Would you first grab a bucket
and a mop? Or would you immediately look for the source and
turn it off? Until recently all skincare companies had to offer were
a bucket and mop. Without knowing the source of what causes the
aging process, there was not much more to do. Although skincare
companies have made significant advances in the progress toward
the prevention and correction of the visible signs of aging, there are
still many unknown factors of how and why we age. But according
to the Stanford Clinical Bulletin, “...scientists at Purdue University...
have discovered a new and potentially significant internal source of
aging—an enzyme called arNOX. Present on the external surface of
cell membranes, arNOX becomes increasingly active and is capable of
generating skin-damaging free radicals in the epidermis around the
clock. Mostly inactive in our youth, activity levels of arNOX increase
as we age.” Clinical studies showed that test subjects who had higher
levels of arNOX looked seven years older then their chronological age
while test subjects with lower amounts of arNOX looked seven years
younger then their chronological age.
“We know that arNOX, which is an internal source of aging,
generates damaging superoxide free radicals at a rate that accelerates as we age,” said Joe Chang, chief scientific officer at Nu Skin.
“This latest research correlates arNOX activity with an increase in
cross links in the skin, leading us to the conclusion that arNOX
is indeed a contributor to the breakdown of collagen and elastin,
which contributes to the appearance of lines and wrinkles and other
signs of aging skin.”
As a result of this recent discovery, skincare companies are racing
to find ways to battle arNOX in order to keep aging at bay. By isolating the arNOX enzyme we will begin to see a shift in the development of anti-aging products and treatments now that skincare companies have a new starting point. “Evidence of arNOX in the skin
provides further insights into potentially revolutionary therapies for
skin care…” remarked Helen Knaggs, PhD, vice president of Nu Skin
global research and development.” If we can develop innovative ways
to inhibit arNOX activity and prevent the production of free radicals
in the first place, then we can address both sides of the equation—
correcting free radical damage from external sources, while at the
same time preventing free radical production from internal sources.”
With this new discovery, those seeking to slow the signs of aging will
no longer be satisfied with a temporary fix (a mop and bucket), and
will look, instead, to skincare products and treatments that will affect
aging at a deeper, more permanent level.
[email protected]
to become eligible to win any
of these amazing prizes!
10
Ten Tickets to the
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Have you been through thick and thin together? Is she the one you can count
on for anything and everything? Does she know all of your dirty little secrets
and seen you at your worst, but she still loves you? Have you always wanted
to thank her for being your BFF but just don’t know how to? Well, this is your
chance! Send us a photo of you and your best gal pal and tell us in 500 words
or less why your best friend deserves a day of pampering and a fresh new look!
If your pal gets chosen, both of you will have the opportunity to win a fabulous
prize package including:
A hair cut and style for you and your BFF by renowned
3 stylist,
Paulo Candido, owner of Ego Mechanix Salon in
San Jose.
Facial and professional make-up from Monina Wright
3 Skincare
& Beauty Lounge.
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3 Row.
The package includes an overnight stay at the Santana Row luxury hotel, two complimentary cocktails, deluxe
continental buffet breakfast for two in the hotel’s restaurant,
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to make the slumber party complete.
Send your photo and brief essay to [email protected]
Deadline is December 20, 2009. Winner will be announced in our next issue!
Before and after photos and essay will appear in M Magazine.
38 M • everymommagazine.com
M • everymommagazine.com 39
Dramatic dresses for a night at the opera Photos by Norma Lopez Molina
Hair by Paulo Candido from Ego Mechanixs
Makeup by Gabriella Levin from La Belle Day Spa & Salon
Location: Lucy Stern Theatre, Palo Alto
On the set of La Boheme
40 M • everymommagazine.com
L
a Belle Bohème
Robert Rodriguez gray gown
at Bloomingdale’s Stanford $641.
Kenna T. faux fur in black at kenna-t.com $449.
Diamond Drop Earrings 2.37-carat diamonds set in 18k carat
white gold $11,500 at Gleim Jewelers.
Kate Bishop Black Glory hat $225 at Fino Fino, Menlo Park.
M • everymommagazine.com 41
Lapis Sundress, $59; That’s So Cute
Affordable Boutique Los Gatos.
Bejeweled
Knotted
Necklace, $34.50; Express.
Vince Gold, copper and red satin dress
$325 and short sleeve dark green sweater
with leather belt $295. LyDell NYC chunky
black necklace $40. LyDell NYC chunky red
bracelet $25. Leopard print bangles $35.
Arturo Chiang Francesca sandals $69.
All at Bloomingdale’s Stanford.
Glitterati
Marc by Marc Jacobs black
coat with gold buttons $498.
BCBG sequined gold and black top
$198. Free People sequined skirt $68.
John
Hardy
Palu
Collection
22K ham- in Capitola or www.nubiaswimwear.com.
Calvingray
Kleinand
black
dressLenny
at Bloomingdale’s
Stanford
Orange
white
suit
$160.
At
Nubia$318.
Swimwear
mered gold
shrimp
earrings
5.6Xhilaration
carat diamond
waterfalltankini
necklace
in 18-carat
white
goldJohn
Girls’
two-piece
inset
pink,
orange
and$450.
white
$12.99 at Target.com.
Hardy
Palu Collection
$8950 from the Estate Jewelry
Collection
at Gleim hammered
Jewelers. gold
large
round
ring
$995.
John
Hardy
Diamond and Ruby Earrings set in 18-carat yellow gold $7850
PaluTop
Collection
22K
at Gleim Jewelers. Black Panizza
Hat $250
athammered
Fino Fino . gold
cuff bracelet $2000. All available at
Bloomingdale’s Stanford.
42 M • everymommagazine.com
Ann Klein gold dress at Bloomingdale’s Stanford $198.
Citrine and diamond pendant with amethyst $4125 at
Gleim Jewelers. 18-carat golden topaz and diamond
ring $5800 from Erin Mac Custom Fine Jewels.
Diamond bracelets with 1.10-carat diamonds set in
white and yellow gold $3875 each at Gleim Jewelers.
Kate Bishop green and yellow Glory hat $250. at Fino Fino.
M • everymommagazine.com 43
Sugar and spice, ruff and sweet
Velvet Tahari jacket
Punk Pretty
Kenna-T zip vest available at Nordstrom $120.
Karen Kane pink ruffled shirt $70.
Free People blue sequined skirt $68.
Green
cobra
caftan
cover$45.
up by ViX $122 at Nubia Swimwear in Capitola or www.nubiaswimwear.com.
Black
studded
bracelet
All at Bloomingdale’s Stanford.
Betsey Johnson pleated red dress $450 at Betsey Johnson
Aqua blackStanford
and red girls
dress Center,
at Bloomingdale’s
Shopping
Palo Alto. Stanford $60.
Aqua black shrug at Bloomingdale’s Stanford $68.
44 M • everymommagazine.com
Black mini dress with jewel appliqué by
Deep Los Angeles, $63; That’s So Cute
Affordable Boutique Los Gatos.
Black sundress $70 ; That’s So Cute
Affordable Boutique Los Gatos.
Trina Turk with bamboo detail top $81. White lycra drawstring dress $82 at Nubia Swimwear or www.nubiaswimwear.com.
Evoking Grace
DKNY green infinity velvet scarf $145.
DKNY green cozy $195.
Drop earrings $80.
All at Bloomingdale’s Stanford.
Marc Bauer long one shoulder dress with rosette
at Bloomingdale’s Stanford $695.
18-carat diamond and ruby drop earrings set in platinum
$18,500 from Erin Mac Custom Fine Jewels.
M • everymommagazine.com 45
Modern Elegance
Aqua gray blazer $108. Free People blue sequined shirt $68.
Convertible
BCBG shirred
$128. Betsey
silver belt $40.$449.
Kenna black
T. fauxskirt
fur leopard
print Johnson
shrug at kenna-t.com
BCBG
ABS Allen Schwartz
ring
$85. Allhat
at
Bloomingdale’s
Stanford.
Black
feathers
$495
at Fino Fino,
Menlo Park.
18K gold swirling earrings with beads $859.
22K gold hollow bead necklace $858. Both at PNG Jewelers, Sunnyvale.
46 M • everymommagazine.com
Tadashi black lace gown at Bloomingdale’s Stanford $408.
Handcrafted Gold Kanga cuff $2806 from PNG Jewelers.
Vintage style gold earrings $2950 from Erin Mac Custom Fine Jewels.
Pretty in Pink
BCBG darted sleeve dress in fuchsia
$248. Carolee long black necklace $60.
Subtle GlamAt Bloomingdale’s Stanford.
BCBG
M • everymommagazine.com 47
Norma Lopez Molina
Comercial photography
Architecture
Hospitality industry
Still life
Fashion
More than 10 years of experience
www.NLMphotography.com
408.807.2192
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M • everymommagazine.com 49
Lonely Moms Looking Online
I
t was the 3:00 AM feeding and my two-week old firstborn son, on this particular night, was wide awake and showed no apparent signs that either one of us would soon be returning to sleep. I sat in the rocking chair with him cradled in my arms,
admiring his sweet face, when all of a sudden he went completely cross-eyed and began staring me down with a terrifying
demonic expression. In this moment I desperately needed to call someone who could reassure me that a) my baby was not a
demon, b) that I was not having a post-partum psychotic episode, and most importantly, c) that he would not be cross-eyed
forever. But alas, there was no one I felt like I could call at three in the morning to voice my concerns. I was alone.
Find new friends on the Internet
and share the joys of motherhood
with other moms like you.
By Lisa Hurd-Walker
What I didn’t know at that moment was that I was not alone.
A recent online survey found that moms seem lonelier and more
disconnected than ever. Sixty percent of moms report feeling
lonely at some point in the last month and 80% feel like they
don’t have enough friends.
50 M • everymommagazine.com
©iStockphoto.com/ Grafissimo
©iStockphoto.com/ lisegagne
Offline Supports Systems
for Moms Are Shrinking
The moms we spoke with who
felt most disconnected were those
who were lacking support from
their families, emotionally isolated
from their partners, or in an alienating stage of motherhood.
Only 50% of the moms we
surveyed lived near any family and just 19% were living in
the communities where they
were raised. On top of that,
80% surveyed said they don’t
have enough support from their
co-workers.
And for many of these
women, the lack of offline family
and work support was not made
up for in their friendships or marriages. Forty percent said they
don’t have a best friend with whom they could share everything.
And on top of that, more than half of them feel they don’t get to
connect and talk with their husbands as much as they would like.
The good news, though, is that increasing numbers of
women with children are going online to forums and social
networks and finding not only the support they lack offline, but
lasting friendships as well.
Moms Are Finding What’s Missing Online
While the loneliness stats seem dire, lonely moms are
fighting back. They are not turning to liquid lunches and midafternoon martinis to numb their pain; instead they are hopping
online to search for the connections that are missing in their
lives. Seventy percent talk to other moms in online forums and
communities. What is more surprising is that 60% reported
making a new friend online in the past year. The moms who
have made new friends are connecting with other women online
around their shared interests, life stories, and parenting issues.
And while these friendships are starting out in cyberspace, they
are now moving offline. One in three moms who made a new
friend online has turned that friendship into a lasting offline one.
Back To My Own Lonely Moment
I didn’t call anyone I knew about my cross-eyed demon baby
that night. But I did go online and find a posting in a parenting
forum from another worried mom asking similar questions. There
were dozens of responses
from other more experienced
mothers reassuring this mom
about her own newborn and
putting me completely at
ease. I immediately joined
the website and a group of
mothers with babies my
son’s age and have relied on
these women for answers to
countless questions over the
past two years. I have also
shared things about my life as
a parent with them that none
of my offline friends have
ever heard.
Not everyone is cut out
for online friendship, but
those who are willing to give
it a try just might be surprised at who they’ll meet.
Tips for Making New Friends Online
Find the Right Virtual Hangouts:
First, think about what kind of friends you are looking to
make and then research the right space online to meet them.
You should make a list of your existing friends (only your close
friends) and the type of connection you share with each of them.
By doing so you can find any gaps you’d like to fill. For instance,
you might find from your list that you have a great group of
mommy friends from your favorite playground but realize you
don’t have even one friend who likes yoga or writing fiction.
• If you want to meet people who share your interests and passions, you can use the search engines to find and join groups
around those topics.
• If you want to meet other local moms in your community or
moms with children the same age, there are many mom communities online where you can join groups for your children’s
age range or based on geographical location. Some cities also
have amazing local mom community websites and listserves you
can join to connect with large numbers of local moms.
Continued on page 52
M • everymommagazine.com 51
Travis Whitfield ESQ
Thoughtful, Decisive Legal Representation
Going through a divorce is
difficult enough. Finding an
attorney who is knowledgeable
and understanding doesn’t make
things any easier. That’s why,
for many people who are going
through the difficult process of
divorcing, Travis Whitfield is
the attorney you need to provide
thoughtful, decisive legal
representation.
With seventy percent of his clients being women, Whitfield is sensitive and
thoughtful in dealing with his clients’ circumstances and needs. In most cases,
his clients are married to businessmen or professionals and have two or more
children. Many of the women he represents have become dependent on their
husbands and, when it comes to divorce, they don’t question what their husbands have told them regarding their rights and obligations.
During the initial consultation, Whitfield informs clients of what they are entitled
to and what their rights truly are. Whitfield doesn’t consider himself to be a hero
though. He has only his clients’ best interest in mind when educating them on the
issues of child custody, spousal support and property division. “If women proceed
with the divorce promptly,” he says, “the results are good.” When a woman spends
too much time considering divorce and doesn’t file right away, she loses out financially. “What happens in this case,” says Whitfield, “is that while the woman
has not yet decided to file, her spouse has already been advised by his lawyer to
liquidate his assets.” “If a woman is ready to divorce, she owes it to herself and her
children to inquire about her rights. She should not believe what she is being told by
her friends and her husband because that information is almost always inaccurate.”
Though many of his clients are women, Whitfield counsels many Bay Area men.
Whitfield encourages male clients not to be overly generous but also to avoid being so
combative that the assets are ground up in the divorce. From the husband’s perspective, it’s important to get the matter to court as quickly as the law allows. “The idea is
to get everything on the table, make a reasonable offer and insist that the matter get to
trial without delay. If you do that, you hold overall costs and the loss of equity down.”
Whitfield does not discriminate when it comes to his clients but there is one
exception to this rule. “I will not defend a man who does not pay child support.
It’s just not right.”
“When an individual is considering divorce, especially women, time is of
the essence,” Whitfield stresses. “From a legal standpoint, I will not be able to
do as a good a job for the client who waits as for the client who acts promptly.”
Mediation or Traditional Litigation?
Mediation generally is most advantageous for the spouse who has the superior
financial power. In short, if one spouse earns a large proportion of family income
and controls most of the community assets, that person would want to “mediate.”
The spouse who has little knowledge of financial affairs, makes little or no family
income, and has spent the marriage caring for children or a spouse, would generally
suffer severely by mediating. The legal costs of traditional litigation are generally
very low when compared to what the disadvantaged spouse may lose by mediating.
Lonely Moms Looking Online
From page 51
• If you want to meet new friends who are going
through other similar life experiences (taking care
of an elderly parent, health issues, work/life balance)
you can also seek out groups online dedicated to
those topics.
same issue– often with humor and some savvy tips.
• Once you’ve establish contact with people, if the
site allows it, reach out and send them a connection or friend request so you can begin to keep up
with them more regularly.
To Join or Not to Join? That is the Question:
When you are joining a site where you are looking
to make new friends, you want to share enough
about yourself in your profile to allow other people
to get a sense of who you are but feel free to start
out cautiously and guard your most personal
information.
• You can use an alias like “NY Momma” that
shows a bit of your personality or use just your first
name or first name and last initial
• You should upload a personal icon so other members of the community know you’re a real person.
If you’re not comfortable using a photo of yourself
or cute picture of your kids, you can also create an
avatar of yourself or use a photo of something you
love – a picture of your feet on the beach or photo
of your pet.
• Definitely take the additional few minutes to fill
out your profile on any site you join. People will
always check out your profile after they’ve met you
online and it is a great opportunity for you to share
a bit about yourself with your potential new friends.
You can add light facts like your favorite movies,
books, hobbies, and quotes. Some sites even have a
place for you to share why you joined the site so you
can let everyone know you are looking to meet new
friends who love the blues or are parenting toddlers.
Dealing with Mean Girls
Don’t be discouraged if you come across some
mean girls online before you find a new bestie. Just
like in your offline world, there will always be people online who you disagree with on certain topics
or just don’t get along with period. The best way to
deal with situations, as in real life, is to ignore the
bully. If she posts negative comments about you,
don’t respond. If you are “friends” on the site, disconnect from her so she stops getting notifications
of the things you write or seeing you in her feed. If
you begin to feel seriously harassed or threatened,
get in touch with the customer support person for
the community. They can mediate the situation and
also shut down the account of the bully if she has
violated the terms of service for the website.
Breaking the Ice:
You will want to take some time to get the lay
of the land for any new site you’ve joined to make
new friends. You should read a few posts on topics
that interest you and the comments from other
community members that follow on. You can also
observe a live chat on a subject you care about.
Once you feel comfortable with the conversations
you are seeing in the community, you can join the
conversation to introduce yourself a few ways:
• Comment on some posts of other members or
responding to a comment someone else posts often
proves the easiest jumping-in point.
• Ask a question that really matters to you (Does
Anyone Have Any Tips on Potty Training a Stubborn 3-year old boy? Help needed!) The moms who
answer you will be those who have wrestled with the
Testing Offline Chemistry
When you do get lucky and meet someone
online you really connect with and think could
become a great friend, take some time to develop
your online connection before sharing your personal email address or phone number. You can be
cautious and still develop a great friendship. Once
you feel like you are ready, start with a phone call
and see if the online persona translates over the
phone. If you two chatter all night on the phone
like school girls you just might be ready to meet.
You can suggest meeting up for coffee to get to
know each other in person. In the right circumstance, you’ll find that it’s amazing how easily online connections, with the secrets shared and trust
built-up over time, can translate to hard and fast
offline friendships. And if the offline chemistry just
isn’t there, you can continue to enjoy each other’s
company virtually or move on to other moms you
get to know along the way.
We all know that motherhood is hard and,
yes, sometimes lonely. You need people to talk it
through with and, sometimes, to take your mind
off of it and remind you who else you are. If for
whatever reason you don’t have the support you
need, consider looking online. There are a lot of
moms who are in the same boat.
Phone 408-879-9039 Fax 879-9327
www.mrdivorce.com
2055 Junction Avenue, Suite #118 San Jose, California 95131
52 M • everymommagazine.com
M • everymommagazine.com 53
Spoiled
By Lana Bowers
Photos by Jeremy Waldorph
H
ave you heard about the high school
student with her own personal assistant? Yes, you read that right—a teenager with her own personal assistant! And no,
she’s not Miley Cyrus. What about the fouryear-old preschooler who wears True Religion
jeans every day and yet another who wears
Burberry on a regular basis? Who knew those
designers even made stuff so small—is there really such a demand for tiny designer duds? Apparently so.
Then there’s the first grade boy who is in heavy
negotiations with his mother for an iPhone. I
wonder whom he would call. Maybe the eleven
year old girl who already owns one? This young
fashionista reaches into her Juicy Couture purse,
pulls out a 3G iPhone, and her expertly manicured fingertips go to work. She’s sending text
messages faster than a court reporter can shorthand witness testimony. She puts the phone to
her ear. If you eavesdrop on her conversation,
you can hear her saying, “O.M.G.! That’s like, so
not possible!” A shimmer of pale pink lip gloss
accentuates her mouth as she talks. Her tone
and speech patterns indicate there may actually
be another iPhone-toting eleven-year-old on
the other end of the line.
In my assessment, between the girl’s clothes,
her purse, and her iPhone, the “stuff ” this eleven-year-old has on her person is worth more
than an entire semester at community college.
But, do designer clothes and high tech gadgets
a spoiled child make? Can it be that a teenager
with a PA isn’t completely spoiled? Is it possible
these kids have actually earned their lot and understand its value?
O.M.G. That’s like, so not possible!
Make way for the new generation. They’re
dressed like rock stars, electronically connected
and completely spoiled. They are the “just-sayyes” generation—ask them the meaning of the
word, “no” and they’ll stare blankly. While it
might be possible they may know the meaning
of the word, they never actually hear it.
Here’s the thing: unless your child can blink
things in and out of existence á la “I Dream of
Jeannie”, she’d better learn to cope with “no.”
And having money isn’t the problem—in fact,
it’s often the goal. It’s the generation’s ability
to value money along with their relationships,
time, belongings and their own self-worth
that’s being called into question. It’s our job as
parents to teach our children what is truly valuable so they can grow up to be productive and
engaged members of society.
It’s Not Them, It’s Us
Stefanie T. was horrified when, during a trip
to the park with her children, she encountered
a mother who was completely unable to utter
the word “no” to her two-year old. The child
saw—and then demanded—a soft, squishy
ball that Stefanie had tucked safely away in the
compartment beneath her stroller. As the child
dove for the ball, Stefanie gently slid the stroller away. The child went into fits of screaming
and tears. While a child wanting toy, and then
becoming upset at not being able to have it, is
not so unusual—it was the mother’s response
that was shocking. The mother, instead of simply saying “no,” offered to buy the toy right out
of Stefanie’s stroller—she practically begged.
When Stefanie refused to sell the toy, the child
launched into a new level of screaming. The
Adult Model: Pamela Fields
Child Models: Veronica and Renee
Location: “Kool Kids Couture” Downtown Willow Glen
Hair/Makeup by Roanne Zaragoza
Styled by Max Gallo
frantic mother had a terrified look on her face. Frustrated with Stefanie’s refusal to “help,” the mother promised the child they would
stop at the toy store on the way home.
There’s no doubt about it. It’s really, really hard to say no to our
kids. What parent doesn’t want to give in to their children’s every
wish? Isn’t it our most fervent desire as parents to see our children
happy? Don’t we all just live for those moments when our children’s
faces light up with joy––all because we said the magic word, “yes”?
We love those moments so much that, heck, sometimes we say yes
to things our children haven’t even asked for. Like the mother who
found a fabulous pair of 7 for Mankind jeans in her daughter’s size,
for only $65—such a deal! When she got them home, her husband
looked at her in disbelief. He didn’t think they were “such a deal” especially since the several pairs of jeans already in the little girl’s closet
had rarely been worn. Brand was irrelevant. The woman returned the
jeans and thought long and hard about why she had really bought
them.
“I think I did it for me,” she said “to impress others.”
That honesty is hard to find. Don’t get me wrong, I like quality clothing as much as the next mom, especially if it makes me look less like
a “mom” and more like a movie star. But be careful what message
you’re sending. What covers you on the outside isn’t an indication
of self-worth—it’s what’s inside those designer clothes that counts.
Why, why, why!
Most people would do well to take a similar look in the proverbial
mirror. Maybe you wouldn’t hire a personal assistant for your teenager
but how well can she manage her own time without you? Ask people
56 M • everymommagazine.com
why other people spoil their kids, and, for the most part, you’ll get a
surprisingly small set of answers with number one being flat-out laziness. “Parents just don’t want to say ‘no’ to their kids,” said one mom.
“It’s too hard to deal with the fall-out, so they say ‘yes’ instead and the
problem grows. The kid never learns to cope with ‘no.’”
Others believe guilt is a key factor. With today’s economy and
work-a-holic lifestyle, Mom and Dad might be traveling, working
long hours and otherwise not spending time with their kids so they
compensate with material goods.
Finally, many people listed self-serving reasons that best boil down
to vanity. Whether it’s keeping up with the Joneses, reclaiming youth
vicariously, or simply seeing children as an extension of themselves,
vanity has helped to keep kids fashionable and hip.
And while there is no hard-fast, scientific evidence of the effects
on children who have been spoiled rotten, no one wants to have completely spoiled kids but “semi-spoiled” seems acceptable for most. But
examining the “why” question inevitably begs the “what” question.
What is “Spoiled?”
The verb, “spoil” is defined by Merriam Webster’s Unabridged Dictionary as follows: “a) to impair the disposition or character of by overindulgence or excessive praise” and “b) to pamper excessively.”
The tricky part in all of this is determining the boundaries of reasonable versus excessive, especially when it’s all relative.
For example, one could argue that today’s bar and bat mitzvahs
are “excessive” as they often rival weddings from both a cost and an
extravagance perspective. A Jewish mother might rebut that argument by declaring that, relative to the importance of the event, these
lavish celebrations are a cultural expectation and she doesn’t consider
them excessive at all.
Another mother might argue that designer clothing is affordable in
relation to her bank account. What’s a few hundred dollars here and
there when she can afford it?
Ask a teacher and she’ll confirm that “excessive” can reveal itself
in classroom behavior as well. She might tell you about the kid who’s
never donned designer duds in his life but who has a wicked sense of
entitlement. She might talk about the child’s mother—a “helicopter
parent”—relentlessly defending her son’s right to an education that
suits his specific needs; she will not compromise and will fight his
every battle for him. In addition to being every teacher’s worst nightmare, this mother has taught the child to blame others (such as the
school or his teachers) for his own faults.
Given the obvious relativity problem, the solution can only exist
in maintaining consistent boundaries. It’s up to you to decide the line
between reasonable and excessive, and it’s up to you to enforce it. Kids
will always ask for more.
could stop paying the cable bill and save that same $700 over time.”
It’s hard to refute her logic.
Stacy R. has a four-year-old son, Mack. Stacy’s husband enjoys an
occasional golf game and has, on more than one occasion, taken Mack
to the driving range. Mack is showing an avid interest in golf and asks
to play on a regular basis. Stacy and her husband agreed to sign Mack
up for golf lessons (approx. $250 for four 30-minute sessions). Given
that many schools do not feature golf as part of their athletics program,
is Stacy spoiling Mack or are they investing in his future?
“What if Mack is the next Tiger Woods?” Stacy says with a hint of
embarrassment.
Don’t roll your eyes just yet—I recognize she sounds like every mom
who wants to find that extreme, rare talent in her child, and I further
recognize there is only one Tiger Woods in a vast sea of golf wannabes.
But what if Mack is the next Woods? What if, by enabling Mack to
play golf at such a young age, Stacy has helped her son to discover his
“true self ” and given him the confidence to chase his dreams? When
he wins the US Open, will he not have done the work and earned it?
But Is It All Bad?
When I think of “spoiled,” I think of that which has gone bad, like
fruit or milk. But what happens when something that one might consider spoiled turns out to be a good thing? Like sour cream, blue cheese
or penicillin, is it possible that not all forms of spoiling are bad?
Yvonne C. admits to spending around $700 on Legos for her son,
which she sees as reasonable. “On the surface,” she says, “it may seem
like a lot of money. But, the fact is, he is capable of doing the Lego sets
designed for kids twice his age and he no longer watches television. I
A Lesson from the Past
As a child, I once complained to my mother about being poor.
In my opinion, we were poor because other kids got lots of things
growing up—designer jeans, cool shoes and expensive toys—and I
didn’t. To this, my mother responded, “What did you ever need that
you didn’t get?”
I guess she was right. I got everything I needed including discipline
and a strong work ethic. Now, to teach my son the same values…
I’ll start by saying no.
M • everymommagazine.com 57
Dressed t
o Impress
Table settings that set the mood
Photos by Norma Lopez Molina
Table design and linens by Resource One
The perfect table-setting for a sophisticated New Years Eve celebration.
Dazzle guests with metallic touches, chic fabric and sparkling votives.
H
ouse dressing is not just for salad.
Are you playing hostess to friends
and family this season? Looking for simple
but beautiful ways to dress up the holiday
table? Here are some suggestions that will
illuminate not only the candles on the
dinner table but your entire celebration.
Just by switching out the linens, Resource
One in L.A. and New York have created
three gorgeous tablescapes using the
same dinnerware.
Vibrant glow
58 M • everymommagazine.com
Linens by Roberta Karsch
Resource One
www.resourceone.info
1. The secret is in the linens. Different
colors, textures, and sparkles, take your
table from pretty to stunning.
2. Mood lighting. Enhance your color
palette with many small votive candles.
The closer the candles are to the table, the
more they can reflect against the glassware and linens creating a soft glow.
3. Flowers. Little clusters of flowers in
the same style and color palette are a
simple way to decorate—lessons in arranging flowers are not required.
4. China. The most versatile are clear
glass with interesting design details
(metallic-edged, etched, frosted, textured
etc.). They will go with linens in any
color and can be used in conjunction
with solid colored tableware.
5. Details. For an elegant table go with the
usual suspects: candelabras, delicate flower
vases, votives, antique bottles, place holders, embellished napkin holders, trays and
centerpieces, and even decorative figurines.
For a less formal look, go with natural
elements like branches, stones, origami
or other fun paper confection, or surprise
guests with the unexpected and decorate
with toys, candies, shells, buttons and
anything else that goes with your theme.
Create a beautiful table that friends and
family will remember for years. Be creative, and most of all, have fun with it!
M • everymommagazine.com 59
Elegant fabrics
Rich text
ures
Richly colored layers of silk, satin, and plush faux fur against a delicate softly colored sheer lend warmth and elegance.
60 M • everymommagazine.com
Shimmering damask, embossed with an elegant design, layered atop striped silk makes for a sumptuous and luxurious setting.
M • everymommagazine.com 61
food & merriMent
M cuisine
La Mar Cebicheria Peruana
La Mar Cebicheria Peruana is located in historical pier 1-1/2,
situated in the midst of San Francisco’s famous Embarcadero
promenade. Inspired by the thousands of cebicherias found
throughout Peru, Gaston Acurio created La Mar as an attempt to
globalize and preserve one of the best guarded treasures of Peruvian
cuisine; cebiche.
CAU CAU – Serves 1
CAU CAU
Above Chef Rodolfo Castellanos Reyes.
La Mar Cebicheria Peruana
Pier 1 1/2, of the Embarcadero
San Francisco, CA 94111
Reservations: 415.397.8880
www.lamarsf.com
62 M • everymommagazine.com
4 Clams
1 Cup of fish stock
3 Scallops U10
1 Cup of Arborio Rice – Pre‐cooked (Al dente)
1 Tbs caramelized onions
2 Tbs of green peas
4 Mint leaves
1 Yukon potato – diced
¼ Tsp of turmeric
1 Tbs of Aji Amarillo paste (can be found at a latin market)
½ Stick of butter
1 oz. of heavy cream
½ Bunch of wild arugula
Olive Oil
Grated parmesan to taste
In a small pot, simmer ½ cup of fish stock. Add the pre‐cooked
Arborio Rice, caramelized onions and green peas. Simmer for 3
minutes, stirring frequently. Turn off heat and add heavy cream,
table spoon of butter and table spoon of parmesan. Stir and
reserve. In a separate small pot, simmer ½ cup of fish stock. Add
the Aji Amarillo, mint, clams, diced potatoes and a pinch of
turmeric. Let simmer for 3 minutes or until the clam shells open.
Add salt and/or butter to taste. Remove the clams from the broth
and leave in a bowl. Reserve. In a sauté pan, sear the scallops on
high heat until golden brown. (1 minute on each side)
Presentation: on a medium size plate, divide 3 small portions of
the risotto. Place the roasted scallops on top of each portion of
risotto and pour a little bit of the mint and clam broth onto the
plate. Set the diced potatoes and cooked clams around the plate
(do not pour over the portioned risotto). Garnish
each scallop with arugula, lightly sautéed in olive oil.
Rodolfo Castellanos Reyes was born October 27,
1980 in Oaxaca, the culinary capital of Mexico, and
one of the greatest treasures of the food world. His
culinary career began at a young age helping his
mother’s traditional Oaxacan food service.
Rodolfo began his studies at the Puebla Culinary
School at 18, where he graduated in 2003, earning a
chef ’s license in gastronomy. He then earned a full
scholarship from the Turquois Foundation to learn
abroad in Monaco, France, for a year. After completing his culinary education overseas, and refining his
French techniques, he staged at Hotel Hermitage,
Monte Carlo in the gastronomic restaurant, Le
Vistamar. He worked alongside Chef Joel Garault,
veteran of the best restaurants of the French Riviera.
Rodolfo first arrived in the United States in 2004,
and decided to make haste in San Jose as a sous chef
at Left Bank, American Bistro. He then settled in
San Francisco in 2006 to lend his expertise in French
cuisine with Chef Traci des Jardins, co‐owner of
Jardinere, a French dining restaurant in Hayes Valley
of San Francisco. He is now extending his skills at La
Mar Cebicheria Peruana, located on the
Embarcadero of Pier 1 ½. Chef Reyes’ prominent
dreams are to open his own restaurant back in Oaxaca.
Awards and Accolades
2001 Golden Award in the Culinary Arts Seminar of
Bruges, Belgium.
2004 Third place in the 24th Culinary Contest of
Grand Cordon.
Casual, Contemporary Global Cuisine
Sample Tasting Menu
Pan-Seared Foie Gras w/ Rhubarb Compote
Butter Poached Halibut w/ Caramelized Fennel & Caviar
Rare Ahi w/ Baby Bok Choy and Citrus Soy
Grilled Skirt Steak w/ Pearl Pasta & Figs
Grilled Lamb Chop w/ Mediteranean Flavors
11 College Ave Los Gatos, CA 95030 (408) 395-2804
WWW.TAPESTRYBISTRO.COM
[email protected]
M • everymommagazine.com 63
M
gift gallery
2009
Délirante Red Chronograph
From Mauboussin, bold and masculine both in color
and design, this chronograph is an elegant gift for
that special man on your list. Made in Switzerland.
$2750 at www.vivre.com.
Wine Stopper
The perfect hostess or holiday
gift for your favorite wine-lover.
Dichroic glass wine stopper,
$40.00 at Shop With Mee,
4904 Soquel Drive, Soquel or
at www.bhopefulcom.
Derringer Moto-Hybrid
by Derringer Cycles
Conceived by industrial designer
Adrian Van Anz as a missing
link between his Ducati and
his Schwinn, this inventive
set of wheels takes the
compromise out of environmentalism with fueleconomy ratings that
can exceed 150-MPG.
Pedal it, power it, or do
a little of both. Orange
with white tires and an
antiqued brown leather
saddle. $10,000 at
www.vivre.com.
64 M • everymommagazine.com
Citrine Topaz Necklace
Inspired by the French Art Deco era, this
necklace features a 129 carat Citrine
Topaz, 2.50 carats total weight of
diamonds and Black Onyx, all set in 18k
White and Yellow Gold. $19,800.
Citrine Topaz Ring
The design of this ring was also inspired by the
French Art Deco era. It features a 15 carat Faceted Top Citrine Topaz, black & white diamonds
and Black Onyx, all set in 18k Yellow and White
Gold. $5,800. Both pieces from Erin
Mac Custom Fine Jewels. 325
Sharon Park Drive, Menlo Park.
650-854-4740
www.erinmac.net.
M • everymommagazine.com 65
Magna-Tiles
Magna-Tiles are where math,
science and creativity meet! Recent
winner of ASTRA’s Best Toys for Kids
2009. $52.99 for the 32 piece set
at Cheeky Monkey Toys. 640 Santa
Cruz Avenue, Menlo Park.
www.cheekymonkeytoys.com.
Cashmere Wrap and Gloves
Go Kit for New Moms.
The luxurious cashmere wrap and tiered
cashmere gloves will keep the stylish woman on
your list nice and warm. $98 and $30 at Banana
Republic stores or bananarepublic..com.
Introducing the new Go kit for new
moms. Neatly and stylishly holds
diapers and wipes in your purse.
Available at lizzysbusybaby.com
for $12.95.
Diamonds and
Emeralds
Spoil yourself or
someone special with
jewels from PNG Jewelers. Featured: one-of-a-kind
natural emerald necklace and
earring set in 22K gold $2037,
classy 1.00-carat Diamond earrings set in
18K white gold $1186 and beautiful .32-carat
diamond bracelet in 18K white gold $778.
These and many more traditional and contemporary styles are available at PNG Jewelers Inc.
820 E. El Camino Real, Sunnyvale CA 94087.
408.245.6764. www.pngjewelers.com.
IFly
Give the Gift of Flight!
Indoor skydiving is the SAFE
alternative to jumping out of
an airplane. Our vertical wind
tunnel offers endless free fall
excitement and adventure for
all ages 3-94. First-time-flyer
packages start at just $49.99.
Go to www.iflysfbay.com to
purchase gift certificates
Sigikid Plush Pony with Musical Box
Massage Envy
Sally Spicer Pocket Tote
Stylish tote with multi pockets for all
your needs! Washable fabric. Add
a changing pad and it converts to a
fabulous diaper bag. Tote $95. Pad
$10. Both available at Edwards
Luggage in Stanford Shopping Center,
Palo Alto and Hillsdale Shopping
Center, San Mateo.
Mom Agenda
17 month calendar from August 09
thru December 2010. Unique month
and week-at-a-view with space for
mom and up to 4 children! All in one.
Assorted colors. $45.
66 M • everymommagazine.com
Vintage Jewels
Make a statement with
vintage inspired jewelry from
Janet Falkner Designs. Stunning
one-of-a-kind jewelry and hair accessories created from
vintage jewelry make a unique gift .
Featured is a 1950’s Fushia crystal Weiss
pendant with vintage purple Czech beads and custom
Swarovski crystal box clasp. $288 at janetfalknerdesigns.com.
Give the gift of relaxation
and take advantage of
the wonderful therapeutic and stress relieving
benefits of massage.
$49 for first time visitors.
Gift certificates available at
Sunnyvale Massage Envy.
413 E. El Camino Real,
Sunnyvale.
408-737-9888
This toy is for the special child on your list. Soft
and snuggly, and made of 100% naturally organic
materials, tots will want to cozy up to this adorable
musical pony. Pull the cord and this cuddly toy will
lull your little one to sleep to the tune of Brahm’s
Lullaby. $112 at Treehouse in the Glen. 1275
Lincoln Ave, San Jose.
Family Session from BellaLu Photography
Nothing is more priceless to a mother than beautiful images of the people she loves the most. BellaLu Photography
specializes in capturing the essence of your family in a
unique and stunning way. Images are rich, vibrant and simply
gorgeous. Family sessions begin at $95 Create a beautiful
customized gift certificate at www.BellaLuPhotography.com or
book directly by calling 408.510.8225.
M • everymommagazine.com 67
Shop Downtown Willow Glen
www.willowglen.org
Leica M3 Silver
Digital Camera by Minox
Harajuku Lovers
‘Love’ Eau de Toilette
Spray
Beautifully engineered, this tiny delight comes packed with technology that
more than stands up to its larger counterparts. With a resolution of up to five
megapixels, the new Digital Classic Camera delivers detailed images with an
impressive sharpness. And there’s no need to worry about memory space. All
data is stored on SD cards with a capacity of up to 4 GB. $199 at www.vivre.
com. 1.800.867.4438
Inspired by the electric
street scene of the Harajuku shopping district in
Tokyo are five fragrances
created by musical artist,
Gwen Stefani, each with
their own scent and style.
Perfect for the young
lady on your list. Choose
the girl that best fits her
personality. Featured
here: Love, scented with
pink peonies, delicate
paperwhites, roses and
sensuous musk. By
Harajuku Lovers. $45 at
Nordstrom stores.
Personalized Billiard Balls
For the one who has everything. This colorful set of billiard
balls are handmade of clear and brightly colored acrylic
and can be personalized with the name or monogram of
that special someone. Stylish wooden rack is included.
$260.00 at Neimanmarcus.com
Jeweled Pinktooth Wireless Headset
and Earphones
The Heart of the Holidays in
C
Willow Glen
ome celebrate all the good things about the holiday season with us
here in Downtown Willow Glen. Alive with the twinkling of holiday
lights… the melodies of cheerful carols… the unmistakable aromas
of holiday specials wafting from our restaurant doorways… over 300 of our
local merchants are poised with just the right answer for your shopping list.
There’s no place like home for the holidays and here in Downtown Willow
Glen, our merchants are here to help you make this holiday season something very special for you and family.
Let’s celebrate the Heart of the Holidays, together…
Wireless headset and retractable decorative earphones are studded with Swarovski
Crystals and come packaged in a coutoure
“candy” tin making this ear candy a fun
gift for the stylish techie on your list.
Wireless headset works with all
Bluetooth enabled cellphones $48.
Earphones accessorize your music
habit, whether it be with an iPod,
portable CD player or your personal
computer $39. Both at chicbuds.com.
Kate Spade
Suede Flats
Horse Drawn Wagon Rides
Neely chocolate brown
Suede Flat adorned with
Jewels for the fashionista on
your list–so cute you’ll want
a pair for yourself! $295 at
Footcandy, Santana Row.
Cool Computer Bag
Especially for the working mom. Pleated tote has
multiple interior pockets to keep this bag organized
and free of clutter. A cleverly concealed pocket
unzips to allow the bag to slide over rolling luggage
handles for easy travel. Bags are constructed of
coated canvas and feature brushed metal hardware,
making them durable and water resistant. Available
exclusively at CoolComputerBags.com, $69.99.
Every Saturday 6-9pm & Sunday 2-5pm,
Nov. 28th - Dec. 20th & Dec. 24th, 2-5pm.
FREE Wagon Rides Nov. 28, 29, 6-9pm &
Dec. 6, 2-5p courtesy of the Willow Glen
Business Association.
Wagon ride rates: Kids $10, Adults $12.
On Dec. 24th all riders are $15.
Photos with Santa Claus
Every Weekend from Nov. 27th – Dec.
24th. Visit our website for times.
Tree Lighting Ceremony
Nov. 28th, 5:30pm – 6:30pm.
For a complete list of events, go to www.willowglen.org
Shop Downtown Willow Glen
70 M • everymommagazine.com
www.willowglen.org
M • everymommagazine.com 71
Treehouse in the Glen
More than just Toys, we specialize
in Unique Heirloom Treasures
Gobblet Gobbler $21.99
Evi Doll $109.99
Organic Kindertraum Doll $169.00
Keva 100 Planks $46.99
Skuut Balance Bike $95.99
Quadrilla Basic Set $69.99
Steiff Trunk Show Nov. 22nd 1-3 pm
Dr. Hauschka Skin Care Sale 20% Off, Nov. 14th - Dec. 24th
Photos with Santa & Horse Drawn Wagon Rides every Sat.
6-9pm &Sun. 2-5pm, Nov. 28th to Dec. 24th.
Call 408-294-TOYZ*(8699) for details.
Steiff Polar Bear $495.00
A Simple Hearth (Solid Cherry Wood) $399.00
Silicon Valley ’s only Green Certified Toy Store!
408.294.TOYZ (8699)
1275 Lincoln Ave. San Jose, CA 95125
www.treehouseintheglen.com
saM pled
food on the fly
With the holidays looming ahead, hectic schedules become more chaotic than
ever and shortcuts are essential. While preparing dinner for the family can be simplified, putting together quick meals that are not only healthy but also delicious can
be a challenge. Here are three meals we’ve sampled that can be prepared in a half
hour or less that are both good-tasting and good for you. We chose only meals that
were made with quality ingredients and that could easily be picked up or ordered
from local grocery stores and food shops.
Korean Barbecue Shortribs
Thai Jasmine Rice
Shelled Edamame
Mochi Ice Cream
Prep Time: 20 minutes
This is one of the quickest and tastiest meals we
sampled and it has found a place in the regular dinner menu rotation at our house. In terms of shopping and convenience, this rated highly since it is
readily available at a local Trader Joe’s and all the
items can be gathered quickly from the frozen food
aisle making shopping a snap. But above all, everything can be prepared in a matter of minutes
and the food is good—really good. The savory marinated beef short ribs won raves at the table from
the whole family, and the best thing about them is
that they take just about ten minutes to cook, either charcoal grilled on the barbecue or inside on a
grill pan. The Thai Jasmine Rice is the perfect side
dish with the succulent short ribs. The pre-cooked
rice comes in a box which serves about six. Pop
each two-serving packet in the microwave and in
two minutes you will have perfectly steamed, rice
for the whole family—sure beats boiling water and
waiting twenty minutes. With a side of edamame,
which takes a just a minute or two in the microwave, a complete meal that is delicious and nutritious can be on the table in just about 15 minutes.
End the meal with mochi ice-cream and dinner is
complete. Trader Joe’s, Bay Area Locations, www.
traderjoes.com.
74 M • everymommagazine.com
Florentine Turkey Meatloaf
Roasted Potatoes
Green Beans with Shallots
Pecan Pie Tartlets
Carrot Ginger Soup
Herb Roasted Chicken
Butter Bean Tagine
Garlic Mashed Potatoes
Prep Time: 15 minutes
Nothing says home-made (even if it’s not) like meatloaf, the quintessential blue plate special and the
epitome of mom’s home cooking. Add roasted potatoes and a side dish of crisp green beans and you
have dinner just like mom used to make—except
you didn’t have to make it. A quick stop in the deli
section of Whole Foods is all it takes to get this meal
on your table. The meatloaf, made with ground turkey, spinach and Parmesan cheese is a health
conscious take on the classic ground beef meatloaf
recipe. The ground turkey sets up a little firmer than
ground beef and the addition of tomato sauce and
grated Parmesan gives it a distinctly Italian flavor.
The addition of spinach is an added nutrition boost
that kids won’t readily detect and turn up their noses
at. The potatoes are roasted with their skins on in
olive oil and parsley. The green beans are prepared
al dente and enhanced with a hint of shallots and
parsley. A sprinkling of salt and fresh ground pepper
livens up both side dishes nicely. Again, because
the food is already prepared, it takes only minutes
of reheating to get this homey meal on the table.
Pecan tartlets from the bakery section are a sweet
way to wrap up the meal. Whole Foods Market, Bay
Area Locations, www.wholefoodsmarket.com.
Prep Time: 15 minutes max.
This is the perfect meal to serve the family on a cold
winter night when only comfort food will do. Start off
the meal with a bowl of hot and creamy carrot ginger
soup made with organic carrot juice complimented by
the warmth and sweetness of fresh ginger. Course
number two of herb roasted free range chicken is the
perfect comfort food dish. The chicken was roasted
to a perfect golden brown and mildly flavored with a
mixture of herbs, including parsley and rosemary. The
chicken was juicy and well cooked and, with the addition of a little table salt, perfectly seasoned. The garlic
mashed potatoes, made with Yukon Golds, garlic, and
cream, were the perfect accompaniment to the herb
roasted chicken—we added just a touch of butter and
milk to loosen up the texture and to get it back to a
fluffy consistency after storing them in the fridge all
day until dinnertime. The sides dish of butter beans,
served in an aromatic tomato sauce punched up with
the heady flavors of cinnamon, cumin, and coriander,
rounded out the meal. Because the food was already
prepared, the only thing to do was to heat up each
dish in the microwave for one to two minutes, and
voila! Dinner was on the table in less than 20 minutes! Beautifull, 3401 California Street, San Francisco
www.beautifull.com.
M • everymommagazine.com 75
roaM
November December
November 27 – January 1
Christmas in the Park
Caesar Chavez Park, Downtown San Jose
9:00 am – 12:00 am
San Jose’s best-known holiday tradition, Christmas in the Park, is now in its 29th year. Come
stroll among 60 animated displays, hundreds
of decorated trees and thousands of twinkling
lights. There is also nightly entertainment by local
schools and groups; check the North Pole information booth.
Saturday, December 5
Handbell Choir Performance at
the History Museum
San Mateo County History Museum, Redwood City
10:00 am - 4:00 pm
Ring in the holidays with the sounds of handbells!
The San Mateo County History Museum comes
alive to the sound of holiday music. The San Francisco State University Handbell Choir will perform a
variety of European holiday folk tunes.
Saturday & Sunday, December 5 & 6
Finishing Touches: A Holiday
Los Altos Festival of Lights Parade Tour of Fine Homes
Sunday, November 29
Downtown Los Altos
6:00 pm – 7:00 pm
Since 1977, the Festival of Lights Parade has
brought “A Child’s Holiday Fantasy” to life for the
entire Los Altos community. Originally a small
gathering, the parade has grown over the years
to a dazzling display of lighted floats, local High
School marching bands, and glowing costumed
characters – although Santa with his sleigh and
reindeer remains the star of the show!
West Atherton
10:00 am – 4:00 pm & 10:00 am – 3:00 pm
This holiday event features a tour of four elegantly
embellished homes in the west Atherton area.
After the tour, guests will have the opportunity
to shop in a holiday-themed marketplace, enjoy
a snack in the Mistletoe café and participate in
raffles. Parking and check-in is available at the
event’s home base, Sacred Heart School in Atherton. Tickets are now on sale and can be purchased
at www.finishingtoucheshometour.com for $40 in
advance and $50 at the door.
Saturday & Sunday
December, 5 & 6 and 12 & 13
Holiday Gift Faire
Guglielmo Winery, Morgan Hill
10:00 am – 5:00 pm
Browse through a huge selection of unique holiday
gifts and enjoy award winning wines, gourmet food,
hot mulled wine, and carolers at the Guglielmo
Winery 21st annual Holiday Gift Faire. From winethemed gifts to custom baskets, you’re sure to find
the perfect gift for everyone on your Christmas list!
Saturday, December 12
“The Nutcracker” Puppet Show
Gamble Garden, Palo Alto
10:00 am, 11:30 am & 1:00 pm
“The Nutcracker” tells the tale of young Clara, who
rescues her toy Nutcracker from the evil Mouse
King and turns him into a Prince. This show features
Dancing Candies, The Snow Queen spreading snow
over all the children, Prancing Clowns, Mechanical
Toys, and Chinese Dragons. And of course the big
battle between the Mouse King’s armies and the
toys and candies! A Winter treat for all ages, featuring over 40 puppets.
Sunday, December 13
The Elves & the Shoemaker
Montalvo Arts Center, Saratoga
1:00 pm
Laugh when two merry elves arrive at a small village
in the Black Forest to discover a poor shoemaker and
his wife who clearly need assistance. Their cleverness
saves the shoemaker from a bleak and unhappy holiday in this classic, adored by both children and adults
all over the world.
January
Thursday, January 7
The Exploratorium After Dark
The Exploratorium, San Francisco
6:00 pm – 10:00 pm
This first Thursday in January, find out what’s happening at Exploratorium After Dark. Come for after dark for
cocktails, and conversation. The evening might include
live performances, films, and new media, or feature
cutting-edge technology and unexpected extravaganzas. Where else can you find music, a cash bar, and an
intellectually stimulating playground for adults—all
with free parking? To sign up for the Exploratorium’s
After Dark e-mail list and receive event details, contact
[email protected]
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76 M • everymommagazine.com
M • everymommagazine.com 77
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78 M • everymommagazine.com
M • everymommagazine.com 79
One Second
One Second (Part I)
He said: (written by The Husband)
“The toilet seat is up! Ugghh!” How many times have I
heard that? What is it with toilet seats and women? Why so offended? When the toilet seat is down, I lift it up. It takes me….
one second. This is a common occurrence in our home because
we have two sons – ages four and six, whom, thankfully, I can
always blame. Now if I had to sit on that seat as often as my
wife does, in a house with two young boys, I would have a sense
of relief seeing the seat up. But not my wife.
Have you seen that show on TV where a family has to live
like they did in 1850? The wife gets up at 4 AM and spends
the next 4 hours making bread, then 3 hours doing laundry.
She has my sympathy. We have every power appliance known
to man. And still, my stay at home wife insists on a cleaning
service. “I just don’t have the time” she says. No doubt each
second lost on that toilet seat issue.
I suppose it is possible she is put out for more than one
second because she has failed to notice that the seat is up. In
the past two years she has crushed three pairs of my sunglasses and one pair of reading glasses with her butt. Two pairs of
sunglasses bit the dust on chaise lounges in foreign countries.
Two were crushed on the seat of her car. Her cheeks have
launched a jihad and my glasses are the infidels. “I don’t look”
she says smugly as if four pairs still do not warrant a change
of thinking. I’m the only 45 year old guy driving a BMW
while wearing six dollar sunglasses. But this strategy is also a
failure. Apparently her cheeks have value sensors and the six
dollar glasses are now in their eighteenth month. My reading
glasses were not so lucky.
You know what’s inconvenient? Sitting down to watch
TV after a long day and having no remote control. How hard
is it to leave the remote on the table? We have three critical
remotes––one is lost at all times. I had to find it online and
reorder it. I was not happy. I was inconvenienced. Now if I
came home and saw my wife frantically looking for the toilet
seat between the sofa cushions, then I would be sympathetic.
One Second (Part II)
She Said: (written by The Wife)
Dearest Husband: Are you saying that your seconds are
more important than my seconds? If I had any seconds to
spare, I can think of about 10 things that I could do with my
extra time than fiddling around with that darn toilet seat,
including, (but not limited to):
1. Chewing my food
2. Shaving my left leg.
3. Shaving my right leg.
4. Lathering, rinsing, and repeating.
5. Moisturizing.
6. Combing my hair.
7. Flossing.
8. Clipping the raggedy nail on my right index finger
9. Plucking stray eyebrow hairs sprouting in random patches
across my forehead; and
10. Finishing the third paragraph of a
book I started in Octo­ber... 2006.
80 M • everymommagazine.com
©iStockphoto.com/ alashi
laughing Matters
a day in the life of chickysara
Lucky for you it’s not 1850. You are not out hunting and
milking cows and farming for our food. I am at Safeway gathering all this stuff while the kids are trying to kill each other
in the produce aisle. You make it sound like you’re out chopping wood and building a barn while I’m pressing buttons all
day to get things done. Dirty underwear doesn’t just walk to
the washer you know. Someone has to put it there.
And those appliances you speak of. Those were your idea.
You gave them to me for my birthday. (Gentlemen: do not
ever give your wife any appliances that say “Happy Birthday
Sweetheart! Now go clean something!”). And so was the
cleaning service. Remember you volunteered to clean the
toilets because you were tired of hearing me whine (yes, I
whined–and a lot!)? And after a couple of times it was you
who said, toilet scrubber in hand, and I quote: “Honey, why
don’t you hire the cleaners as soon as possible?” I mean I only
had to clean the toilets like 2,080 times and you only had to
do it twice before you deemed it reasonable to hire some help.
As for your sunglasses: If you don’t want me to crush them,
don’t put them in a chair, or car seat, or chaise lounge, or sofa
or anywhere else my rear end is attracted to. I am truly not
out to get your glasses. Just put them on a table. I do not like
to sit on tables because tables are not for sitting on but for
putting things on like food, or books, or knick-knacks, or even
glasses! And by all means, treat yourself to some expensive
sunglasses to match your fancy car. You’re smack dab in midlife. I get it. When I get to be your age, I’m shopping for new
boobs and a Lexus.
And finally, as my mother likes to say, “Look with your
eyes not with your mouth.” There isn’t a single day that goes
by when you don’t say, “Where are my glasses?” If I had a
nickel for every time you started a sentence with the words
“Where’s the (fill in the blank here)…?” we would be rolling
in it. I promise you, the remote is there. You just have to take
a second to look. Use your glasses sweetie–sometimes they are
sitting right on top of your cute little head.
And just so you know, I will never shut up about the toilet
seat. Put the seat down. Please. It only takes…one second.
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M • everymommagazine.com 81
a Moment with
Maribella
Maribella , age 3
Sunnyvale Massage Envy 408-737-9888
413 E EL Camino Real at Cezanne.
Spalding Square Shopping Center,
Sunnyvale ,CA 94087
Photos by Bellalu Photography
Melt the Day Away
What quality do you like most about
yourself? Everything!
What quality do you like least about
yourself? I like everything.
Who is your best friend and why?
James. But sometimes Landon and Kayla.
But mostly Mackenzie. I also like
Tyson. I like to play with him.
What is the worst thing that happened
to you today? I hurt my eye playing with
the boys at my house park. We went to
the hospital and I was nice and I got a
treat. Actually it didn’t happen today. A
long time ago. It’s all better now.
Who is the smartest person you know?
I have to think Mama. Because Papa
(Daddy) loves her and is her friend.
If you could be an animal, what animal
would you be? A crocodile. Then I’m going to cut cookies with my big teeth.
What are three words that describe you?
Nice eyes. 5 years old. Happy. Except I’m
not 5. I’m 3 but I’m going to be 5 in 8
years and go to school!!
What is the last book you read?
Runaway Bunny. But prolly I like the big
yellow Curious George book best
cause it’s really really really long before
going to sleep.
What talent do you have that would
amaze people? I’m kind of a rockstar.
What’s something that made you angry
today? When Papa told me to help him
clean my room before Kayla and Landon
came over. I told him first I had to check
my schedule but he didn’t listen!!!
What do you want to be when you
grow up? A pirate. And then I’m gonna
say argggh and shiver me timbers and
drive my pirate ship boat to gramma’s
house. Then we’ll play.
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What’s the nicest thing you’ve ever
done? Gave my birthday presents to the
hospital. Cause I don’t need them. That’s
what mommy said. And the kids are
gonna be so happy to play!
Who’s your favorite superhero?
Curious George. He’s also my favorite
monkey.
If you had a million dollars, what would
you buy?
Prolly I’d buy a truck. A real truck. Then I’d
drive to Isaiah’s house and pick him up. We
will wear our seat belts so we can be safe.
If you had three wishes what would you
wish for? Another baby sister again but
Papa says no more babies!!! Also a crocodile. A real one. Actually maybe a toy one
so it doesn’t bite me so hard.
*Introductory offer for first time visitors.
82 M • everymommagazine.com
M • everymommagazine.com 83
OPEN HOUSE:
February 6, 2010 10 am - 12 noon
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Average Class Size:15
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At Hillbrook School we provide our students with a rigorous academic program that
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300 Marchmont Drive Los Gatos, CA 95032
www.hillbrook.org