Go do something! - City Slicker Louisville Entertainment Guide

Year #6 - Issue 8
JUNE 2010
Synergy Publishing, LLC
P.O. Box 4441, Lousville, KY 40204
Office: (502) 938-8581
[email protected]
www.CitySlickerOnline.com
PUBLISHER
Bob Glaser
[email protected]
SALES DIRECTOR
John Morgan
SALES SPECIALISTS
Angie Barret
David Smith
Emma Hawthorn
CREATIVE TEAM
Sandy Spears
CIRCULATION TEAM
Steve Glaser
Copyright 2010 by CitySlicker Entertainment Guide with
all rights reserved. CitySlicker accepts no responsibility
for unsolicitated materials. All materials subject to
change.
CitySlicker reserves the right to edit, rewrite or refuse
material and is not responsible for errors or omissions.
CitySlicker believes that all ideas and art forms are
subjective, and therefore does not necessarily endorse
the opinions expressed within.
2010 P
arish FFestival
estival /
Pa
Picnic Sched
ule
Schedule
JUNE 3-5
X Saint Anthanasius
XSaint Edward
JUNE 4-5
X Holy Trinity
XOur Mother of Sorrows
XSaint Margaret Mary
JUNE 11
XOur Lady of Lourdes
JUNE 11-12
XSaint Pius X
XSaint Stephen Martyr
XSaint Bartholomew
XSaint Elizabeth
JUNE 19
XMost Blessed Sacrament
XSaint Raphael
JUNE 25-26
XHoly Family
XSaint Martha
JULY 10
X Saint Barnabus
XSaint Ignatius Martyr
X Saint Joseph, Louisville
JUNE 18-19
JULY 16-17
XSaint Albert the Great
X Ascension
XSaint Agnes
XSaint Francis of Assisi
Go do something!
2010 P
arish FFestival
estival /
Pa
Picnic Sched
ule
Schedule
JULY 23-24
X Guardian Angels
JULY 30-31
X Saint Therese
X Saint Michael, Louisville
JULY 31
XSaint Thomas, Bardstown
AUGUST 6-7
XSaint Gabriel
AUGUST 13-14
XSaint Joseph Orphans' Picnic
XSaint Rita
AUGUST 14
X Saint Therese
SEPTEMBER 10-11
XSaint Leonard
SEPTEMBER 11
X Incarnation
SEPTEMBER 25
XSt. Joseph, Louisville
(German Fest)
June 4
First Friday Downtown Gallery Hop
Location: Downtown Art Zone,
Main & Market streets, 5-11 pm
Description: Cruise through the
Downtown Art Zone and visit the
eclectic group of galleries and
shops. Refreshments provided at
some galleries.
June 25
F.A.T. Friday Trolley Hop
Location: Frankfort, Mellwood and
Story Avenues, 6-10 pm
Description: On the last Friday of
every month, hop on the Frankfort
Avenue Trolley and visit the
shopping districts of Butchertown,
Clifton and Crescent Hill.
June 7
Beer Fest
Location: Flanagan’s
Description: The Flanagan's Beer
Fest is a beer-tasting festival that
will have more than 40 breweries
represented. Morton Avenue will
be closed for the festival, and
everyone is sure to have a great
time sampling tons of unique
beers and talking to reps from all
over the world.
June 26
Roller City Derby Girls
Location: Manslick Roller Dome
Doors at 6 pm, Bout at 7 pm
Description: The DERBY CITY ROLLER
GIRLS are hosting a CRUISIN for a
BRUISIN!! As we take on the ladies
of North East Ohio Roller Girls from
Akron Ohio.
June 30
WFPK Waterfront Wednesday
Location: Waterfront Park
Description: Louisville’s most
popular after work concert series.
For the seventh year, the
Waterfront Development
Corporation and the Louisville
Public Media are working
together to offer free concerts on
the Harbor Lawn featuring
national and local artists. There is
a cash bar and great upscale
festival food.
July 9-11
FORECASTLE Music Festival
Location: Waterfront Park
Description: Hundreds of bands
performing including Smashing
Pumpkins, Flaming Lips, Spoon,
Widespread Panic, DEVO and the
Drive By-Truckers.
July 22-25
The nation's largest RV rally
Location: Ky Exposition Center
Description: In its 11th year, The Rally
is a weekend of live entertainment,
family-friendly activities, and the
opportunity to explore the hottest
trends in RV travel.
“If you drink, don’t drive. Don’t even putt.” -DEAN MARTIN
“All right, brain, I don’t like you and you don’t like me - so let’s just do
this and I’ll get back to killing you with beer.” -HOMER SIMPSON
“Always do sober, what you said you’d do drunk. That will teach you to
keep your mouth shut.” -ERNEST HEMMINGWAY
DRINK OF THE MONTH
Fruit and Gingerly
-
2 oz. SKYY Infusions Ginger
0.5 oz. Orange Juice
0.5 oz. Fresh Grapefruit Juice
0.5 oz. Lime Juice
1.5 Tbsp Fresh Cranberries
3 Chunks Pineapple
Club Soda
Muddle cranberries and pineapple in a
cocktail shaker. Add ice and rest of
ingredients except soda and
shake vigorously. Pour into a
Collins glass with fresh ice
and top with soda. Garnish
with chunk of pineapple and/
or three cranberries on a
toothpick laid horizontally
over rim of the glass.
EXCUSES to get
loaded in JUNE
5th - Pancho Villa’s
Birthday (1878).
Last words: “Don’t let it end like
this. Tell them I said something.
Pancho Villa Tequila.
7th - Dean Martin’s
Birthday (1917).
“I feel sorry for the people who
don’t drink. They wake up in the
morning andf that’s the best
they’re going to fell all day.”
Scotch Rocks
12th - Baseball is invented
(1839).
Drinking beer takes on
a whole new meaning.
Pitcher of beer
19th - Miller High Life
unleashed on the
drinking public (1903).
Named after a brand of cigar.
Miller High Life.
30th - Superman debuted
in print (1938).
Booze until you are bulletproof.
Coca-Cola was originally green.
Average number of days a West German goes without washing his underwear: 7
The youngest pope was 11 years old.
A duck’s quack doesn’t echo, and no one knows why.
The airplane Buddy Holly died in was the “American Pie.” (Thus the name of the
Don McLean song.)
“I am.” is the shortest complete sentence in the English language.
Hershey’s Kisses are called that because the machine that makes them looks like
it’s kissing the conveyor belt.
The phrase “rule of thumb” is derived from an old English law which stated that
you couldn’t beat your wife with anything wider than your thumb.
An ostrich’s eye is bigger that it’s brain.
The highest point in Pennsylvania is lower than the lowest point in Colorado.
The name Jeep came from the abbreviation used in the army for the “General
Purpose” vehicle, G.P.
The Philip Morris Tobacco Company’s crest has on it Caesar’s famous saying
“Veni, Vidi, Vici.”
The original Guiness Brewery in Dublin, Ireland has a six thousand year lease.
2/3 of the dry mass of your feces is bacteria.
During a lion’s mating season, they will mate every 25 minutes for three days
straight.
Every person has a unique tongue print.
Bubble gum contains rubber.
Your right lung takes in more air than your left one does.
The longest recorded flight of a chicken is thirteen seconds.
Thirty-three percent of Los Angelinos have an unlisted phone number.
During the last 3,500 years the world has been at peace only 8 percent of the
time.
After snails mate, they both lay eggs.
Total number of only-child US Presidents: None.
Healthy Fast Food?
When reading this, keep in mind that 2000 calories a day is a general
guideline to an average persons recommended caloric intake. This
amount fluctuates based on a persons age, height and weight.
McDonalds
Big Mac® = 560 calories and 30 grams of fat
Double Quarter Pounder® w/ Cheese = 730 calories and 40 grams of fat
Fries (Large) = 520 calories and 25 grams of fat
Burger King
Whopper® w/ Cheese = 800 calories and 49 grams of fat
Fries (King) = 600 calories and 30 grams of fat
Subway
Double Meat Meatball Marinara Sub (12in) = 1920 calories and 84 grams
of fat (no…this is not a misprint)
Subway® Seafood Sensation Sub (12in) = 900 calories and 44 grams of fat
Arby’s
Market Fresh® Ultimate BLT Sandwich = 780 calories and 46 grams of fat
Beef ‘N Cheddar Sandwich = 780 calories and 46 grams of fat
Curly Fries (Large) = 630 calories and 34 grams of fat
Domino’s Pizza
14" Ultimate Pepperoni Feast Pizza (8 slices) = 443 calories and 24 grams
of fat PER SLICE
Skyline Chili
3-Way (Large) = 1050 calories and 61 grams of fat (no…this is not a
misprint)
Astonishing Fact
The Bloomin Onion with the Dipping Sauce contains 2130 calories and
163 grams of fat! Leave out the sauce and you still consume 1690
calories and 119 grams of fat, 57 of them saturated.
THINGS THAT ARE
DIFFICULT TO SAY WHEN DRUNK:
1. Innovative
2. Preliminary
3. Proliferation
4. Cinnamon
THINGS THAT ARE VERY DIFFICULT
TO SAY WHEN DRUNK:
1. Specificity
2. Anti-constitutionalistically
3. Passive-aggressive disorder
4. Transubstantiate
THINGS THAT ARE DOWNRIGHT
IMPOSSIBLE TO SAY WHEN
DRUNK:
1. No thanks, I’m married.
2. Nope, no more booze for me!
3. Sorry, but you’re not really my type.
4. White Castle? Taco Bell?? ehhh...
No thanks, I’m not hungry.
5. Good evening, officer. Isn’t it lovely out
tonight?
6. Oh, I couldn’t! No one wants to hear
me sing karaoke.
7. Why on earth would I want to fight
you? You can obviously kick my ass!
8. Thank you, but I won’t make any
attempt to dance, I have no coordination
I’d hate to look like a fool!
9. Where is the nearest bathroom? I
refuse to pee in this parking lot or on the
side of the road.
10. I must be going home now, as I have
to work in the morning.
Teachers and Cops
These are actual comments
made on students’ report cards by teachers
in the New York City public school
system. All teachers were reprimanded but,
boy, are these funny!!! The following police
comments were taken off actual police car
videos around the country.
Teachers….
1.) Since my last report, your child has
reached rock bottom and has started to
dig.
2.) I would not allow this student to breed.
3.) Your son is depriving a village some
where of an ‘idiot’.
4.) This child has been working with glue
too much.
5.) It’s impossible to believe the sperm
that created this child, beat out 1,000,000
others.
Police....
1.) “Can you run faster than 1200 feet per
second? Because that’s the speed
of the bullet that’ll be chasing you.”
2.) “The answer to this last question will
determine whether you are drunk or not.
Was Mickey Mouse a cat or a dog?”
3.) “Yeah, we have a quota. Two more
tickets and my wife gets a toaster oven.”
4.) “How big were those ‘two beers’ you
say you had?”
5.) “You didn’t think we give pretty
women tickets? You’re right, we don’t.
Sign here.”
JUNE 18th
JUNE 4th
Get Him to the Greek
Stars: Jonah Hill, Russell Brand, Elisabeth Moss
The Plot: A record company intern (Hill) is hired to
accompany out-of-control British rock star Aldous Snow
(Brand) to a concert at L.A.'s Greek Theater.
Splice
Stars: Adrien Brody, Sarah Polley
The Plot: Two scientists fuse DNA samples to create a
new organism: a human-chimera they name Dren. As
the creature rapidly develops from a deformed female
infant into winged creature, her initial bond with her
creators turns deadly.
JUNE 11th
The A-Team
Stars: Liam Neeson, Bradley Cooper
The Plot: Framed for crime they didn't commit, a team
of four former Special Forces soldiers looks to clear their
name with the U.S. military.
The Karate Kid
Stars: Jackie Chan, Jaden Smith
The Plot: Dre Parker (Smith) moves from Detroit to China
with his hard-working mom (Henson), where his feelings
for a girl in his class make him the target of a jealous
bully who is trained in kung fu. Fortunately for Dre, his
building's maintenance man, Mr. Han (Chan), reveals
himself to be a master of the self-defense form (Chan)
and begins training the boy.
Toy Story 3
Stars: Tom Hanks, Tim Allen
The Plot: Woody (Hanks), Buzz (Allen),
and the rest of their toy-box friends
are dumped in a day-care center
after their owner, Andy, departs for
college.
Jonah Hex
Stars: Josh Brolin, Megan Fox,
John Malkovich
The Plot: The U.S. military gives
bounty hunter Jonah Hex (Brolin)
and offer he cannot refuse: in
exchange for his freedom from the
warrants on his head, he's to take
down a terrorist (Malkovich) who is
gathering an army and preparing to
unleash Hell on Earth.
THEATERS
Baxter Avenue
(502) 459-2288
Showcase
Stoneybrook
(502) 499-6656
Dixie Dozen
(502) 935-3771
Great Escape
(812) 941-9640
JUNE 25th
Grown Ups
Stars: Adam Sandler, Salma Hayek,
Kevin James
The Plot: After their high school
basketball coach passes away, five
good friends and former teammates
reunite for a Fourth of July holiday
weekend.
Knight and Day [6/23]
Stars: Tom Cruise, Cameron Diaz,
Peter Sarsgaard
The Plot: An action-comedy centered on a fugitive couple (Cruise
and Diaz) on a globe-spanning
adventure where, amid shifting
alliances and unexpected betrayals,
nothing and no one are what they
seem.
Greentree 10
(812) 284-1603
Showcase
Cinema de Lux
(502) 499-6656
Tinseltown
(502) 326-0088
Village 8
(502) 897-1870
The History of...
MAMMOTH CAVE
Did You Know?
Mammoth Cave is one of the oldest tourist attractions in North America. Tours of
Mammoth Cave have been offered since 1816.
Mammoth Cave - The Longest Cave
A unique combination of circumstances has made Mammoth Cave the longest cave in
the world, with more than three hundred and thirty five miles of mapped passages.
First, the karst setting has a large area for potential cave formation. The upstream
headwaters of Mammoth Cave are out under the sinkhole plain. Most of the passages
large enough for people to enter are under the escarpment, the plateau, and the flattopped ridges with their intervening valleys. Springs along the Green River are the
downstream outlets of ground rivers such as Echo and Roaring Rivers.
Mammoth Cave National Park is a U.S. National Park in central
Kentucky, encompassing portions of Mammoth Cave, the most elongated cave
system known in the world. The official name of the system is the Mammoth Cave
System, though it could be argued that it should be called the Flint-Mammoth-TooheyEudora-Joppa-Jim Lee Ridge Cave System—to account for the ridges under which the
cave has formed. The park was established as a national park on July 1, 1941. It
became a World Heritage Site on October 27, 1981, and an international Biosphere
Reserve on September 26, 1990. The park’s 52,830 acres (214 km²) are located in
Edmonson County, Kentucky, with small areas extending eastward into Hart County
and Barren County. It is centered around the Green River, with a tributary, the Nolin
River, feeding into the Green just inside the park. The Green River is dammed near the
western boundary of the park, so that the river only flows freely for a small section in
the eastern part of the park.
Almost two million people visit the park every year.
“ON FIRST NAME TERMS”
Each across clue leads to the surname of a well-known person, but it is that
person’s first name that is to be entered in the grid. The first letter-count refers
to the clue answer; the second to the grid entry. Down clues are normal.
ACROSS
1 Royal who went topless – one
way to follow brave greeting
6 Sweaty-browed singer’s organ
transplant in which Mrs T. gets
involved
9 Labour politician very into
money basically
10 Dancer who was choked to
see wrestler squashing three fifths
of relative
11 Marconi broadcast without a
ring master
12 Fleet runner cherished by
Desdemona’s sister
13 Harry is politician ‘with child’ –
cause of a constitutional crisis
14 Lamp lady’s dark hours during
storm
17 Teddy’s lot ever so
undisciplined
19 Dwarf, mousy film star
21 Poet’s cheek, getting nude
24 Reported name of funny
actress
26 Historical biographist – one
from the US sitcom
27 Extra virtuous flier
28 Not so popular, George, as a
novelist
29 Carrier having row with cold
king’s composer/singer
DOWN
1 Rocker taking lead in Cabaret
and another musical of that time?
2 Bird of prey butchered
powerless cold reptile
3 One who soon gets up to
annelid-catching?
4 Oi! Awful sporting venue in
classical bit of Aegean coastline
5 Suitable splicing material?
6 Carried out a caper – hired a
chief of police on the inside
7 Seldom entertained by Shogun
of Tenko
8 Players may come and go this
way but FA gets let off
13 Resist having a tripod?
15 Remembering an exploitable
feature of Labrador
16 Needle of water model
displaces gravity
18 A plumper Cole Porter, not proimprovisation
20 Circles of brown pigment exist
– ring number given by A&E
22 Kitty multiplied – quite amusing
adding daughter to son
23 Burgess’s gang member, Rex, in
righteous uprising
25 What happens when energy
gets expression
www.LouisvilleVIPCard.com
St. Matthews/Frankfort Ave • Downtown • Highlands
LITERATURE
Targets of Deception
by Jeffrey Stephens
Jordan Sandor had resigned
from active service with the
CIA before the tragedy of 9/11.
He reluctantly gets pulled back
into the game after a series of
alarming events leave him no
choice. He embarks on a search that takes him
halfway across the world; beginning in New
York, leads to Florida, on to Paris, and
ultimately to the sleepy town of Portofino on
the Italian Riviera - to uncover a deadly alQaeda plot to launch nerve gas attacks on the
world! Never sure who he can trust but
knowing that the lives of millions are at stake,
he relies on his gut instincts and trained skills
to help him track down the rogue agent behind
the conspiracy – who turns out to be none
other than his old mentor!
CROSSWORD SOLUTION
DVD RELEASES
This months DVD Slick Pick’s!
June 8
• Shutter Island
• From Paris with Love
June 15
• The Book of Eli
• Unthinkable
• When in Rome
• Youth in Revolt
• The Spy Next Door
June 22
• She’s Out of My League
• Green Zone
June 29
• The Crazies
• Creation
• Hot Tub Time Machine
July 6
• A Single Man
• The Girl with a Dragon
Tattoo
New DVD’s are released every Tuesday