May Pt 1 2015 Internet Newsletter

2015
Helderberg Branch Social Club Newsletter
Chairman: Rob Waddington
Treasurer: Annatjie Visser
Secretary: Jill Cole:
Outings: Mynie Stobbe:
Newsletter: Mervyn Cole:
021 852 4556
021 851 1673
021 852 0414
082 225 5440
078 287 8182
Postal Address: 52, Reservoir Road SW 7130
May Pt 1 Edition
This was Rev. Rob’s
first meeting as Chairman and there were over 70
SAARPer’s there to see him take the reins. His style is different from Chris’s but that is
only to be expected and took nothing away from his handling of the event. We can look
forward to a long period under his stewardship.
His first job was to introduce his Committee to the members. No pictures this edition
but they are to follow. He then introduced as our first speaker Sally Brownie, who is
more used to booking speakers for us than speaking to us!
Sally has written a short book about her life, firstly as the first female General Manager
of any City Lodge, then as a disabled person. She was a GM for ten years but at the age
of 42, she was confined to her wheelchair. She spent a very happy 22 years in the Hotel
Business before illness forced her retirement. Sally moved to Bridgewater Manor and is
our Speaker organiser: and a fine fist she makes of it too!! If you wish to purchase a
copy of this soft back book it will cost you R30 and I am sure Sally will bring copies to
the next meeting
Next up was Rob himself. After a career in business he was called to the Ministry and
became a Pastor in the Presbyterian Church, and took his wife Betty (Should that be the
“Long Suffering” Betty?) and his two children to live in a manse. Well almost, because
the Church he was assigned to had let it out for a few months and the tenants stuck to
their lease. He was given a house without ceilings, bare boards and a crack in the
bedroom large enough to put his arm through!
He told us several stories of his life before he retired: some were amusing: like the time
he had had so much tea and his favourite chocolate cake that his eyes were floating. He
threw the contents of the cup out the window and was left with just the handle in his
hand and the cup on the lawn. Some were sad; like the abused child he fostered for a
few days but when the boy left for a more permanent home how his own children were
badly affected. Some were happy: like the German Soccer star who Rob married and
who came back to SA with a little blond child who was named after Rob. There were
many more stories of his long life in the Church’s service. He remembered to thank
Betty for standing by him when he made such a major career move and for all the years
she was a Pastor’s wife. She was the rock on which he relied.
NEXT MEETING
The next meeting will be held on the 25th May at the NVK hall Gordon’s Road
and will commence at 1000
You asked for it. You wanted it. You are going to get it. The Tennalady herself will be
coming to talk to us about incontinence and what we can do to protect ourselves if we
are prone to accidents. No doubt she will have samples of what the industry can do for
senior citizens, so there will be no need for her to PAD out her talk and some may be
very NAPPY to see her!
SAARP Helderberg Membership is R50 per person per year.
There is a R5 fine if you do not present your Helderberg Membership Card.
LAST MONTHS WINNERS
Apologies to all the winners and new members. I took the pictures on a
format too large to reproduce here.
Raffle 1 Pam Bisset Raffle 2 Sylvia Schafer 50 Club Sakkie Krynauw
OUTINGS
The next trip is to the KIRSTENBOSCH NATIONAL BOTANICAL GARDENS and will
be on TUESDAY 12th MAY. Please remember to bring your ID as entry is FREE for
SENIORS on a Tuesday.
The new Treetop Walk Way is 800mts long and the finish line is about 800mts from the
restaurant. Put on your most comfortable walking shoes and have a walking stick to help
you if necessary. There is a shuttle bus in the Gardens, but it needs to be booked in
advance. It costs R60pp, but only carries 7 people. If you want to use it then ring Nancy
on 021 852 5460 or 072 426 2204 ASAP. The cost of the coach is another
R60pp and all food and drink is at your own cost.
There are 6 seats free so call Nancy NOW!!!!!
NEW MEMBERS
We would like to officially welcome as new members Felicite Prior, Betty Waddington,
Rob Waddington and Penny West. We hope you enjoy your time with us and become an
active member. Well, as active as we can be!!
BIRTHDAY GREETINGS
Celebrating their April Birthdays are Beryl Bennett, Peter Cohen, Connie Donald, Joyce
Grewer, Peter Markey, Arlene Middleton, Inga Schaefer, Janetha Schubert, Myra
Thomas, Lina van Houten, Marie Visser and Betty Waddington. The April flower, is
which symbolises innocence, lasting pleasure,
the Daisy
simplicity and youth. You should be a happy person who spreads joy and cheer
wherever you go. You have leadership skills, but your inability to communicate can
hold you back.
The April birthstone is the Diamond
. This gem is associated with mystery,
romance and power, and symbolises purity. An April diamond wearer is innocent, but
loving and affectionate. Whist the April Diamond represents strength it also signifies
kindness and caring.
We wish you all a very Happy Birthday!
SICK BAY
Sorry to hear that James “Guitar man” Visser is unwell at the moment. We all wish him
a speedy recovery.
Even sadder is that long time member, Merlin Struijs has passed on. May her dear sole
always rest in peace.
POINTS OF INTEREST
If you have a Channel Funeral Policy with Sanlam you can expect a 15% increase in
premiums. It seems that people have started to die and they were not expecting this. So
you take out a Funeral Policy and have the privilege of paying them, but not collecting?
Weird!!
The Senior Service website lists over 1,600 Retirement Villages. Retirement Homes, Frail
Care Centres and Respite Care Facilities:
http://www.senior-service.co.za/
They have just added
http://www.frailcare.co.za/
to their website which makes referencing enquiries about frail care a lot easier.
5 371 of the 6 526 SAARP SA club members reside on the coastal strip from Umhlanga to
Cape Town. I’m sure this tells us something . . . . Anyone want to suggest a reason?
Research carried out over the past 10 years appears to show that adults who usually sleep
for less than six hours or more than eight, are at risk of dying earlier than those who sleep
for between six and eight hours. That is why SAARPers party all night!!
Dementia is one of the most pressing modern health issues. The number of patients
globally is expected to treble to 135 million by 2050. An analysis of the mental health of
nearly two million elderly British people, in the “Lancet” showed that underweight people
had the highest risk of all. Yay for fatties: we are smarter because we eat better!!
A veterinarian in Gauteng examined each of some 30 Cape Sugarbirds that had died in
Voëlklip last year and concluded that the cause of death was Xylitol toxicosis. Xylitol is
consumed by humans as part of a low carbohydrate or diabetic diet. The birds died after a
resident in Voëlklip accidentally used Xylitol to mix the solution in the bird feeder, not
realising that it would kill the birds. The birds were frozen and sent to the Johannesburg
Zoo where Dr Brett Gardner said the most likely cause of death was Xylitol toxicosis.
After the conclusion, Dr Phoebe Barnard said since dogs also appear to experience liver
failure when ingesting Xylitol, she would be careful with administering Xylitol to any
animal.
Hate to state the obvious, but if it harms animals and birds what is it doing to those
humans who use it??
If you want to order the book by Tuii about her escape from Lithuania to South Africa it
can be ordered from http://www.strategicpublishinggroup.com/title/AlmiARefugee.html,
YOU’VE EARNED IT INFO
Go to www.youve-earned-it.co.za for a full list of discounts available to us.
FINANCIAL STATEMENT (none this month so far)
Income/Receipts
R
Cash in Hand
R
Savings Account Balance
R
Outgoings
R
Additional Income
Book sales
Crafts
Fifty Club
Raffle
R00.o0
R
R 00.00
R 00.00
JOVIAL JOKES
One day G-D was looking down at earth and saw all of the rascally retirees' behaviour
that was going on. So He called His angels and sent one to earth for a time.
When the angel returned, he told G-D, 'Yes, it is bad on earth; 95% of retirees are
misbehaving and only 5% are not. G-D thought for a moment and said, 'Maybe I had
better send down a second angel to get another opinion.' So G-D called another angel
and sent her to earth for a time. When the angel returned, she went to G-D and said, 'Yes,
it's true. The earth is in decline; 95% of retirees are misbehaving, but 5% are being good.
G-D was not pleased. So He decided to e-mail the 5% who were good, because he wanted
to encourage them, and give them a little something to help them keep going. Do you
know what the e-mail said? Okay, I was just wondering, because I didn't get one either.
Doctor : How's your headache? Patient : He's out of town.
Marriage is like a public toilet.
Those waiting outside are desperate to get in & those inside are desperate to come out.
Whisky is a brilliant invention. One double and you start feeling single again.
You know why women love shoes?
Because no matter how much & whatever they eat, the shoes always fit.. 
There are 3 kinds of men in this world.
Those who remain single and make wonders happen.
Those who have girlfriends and see wonders happen.
And those who get married and wonder what happened=))
A's for arthritis; B's the bad back, C's the chest pains, perhaps car-di-ac?
D is for dental decay and decline, E is for eyesight, can't read that top line
F is for farting and fluid retention, G is for gut droop, which I'd rather not mention.
H high blood pressure--I'd rather it low; I for incisions with scars you can show. J is for
joints, out of socket, won't mend, K is for knees that crack when they bend. L 's for libido,
what happened to sex? M is for memory, I forget what comes next. N is neuralgia, in
nerves way down low; O is for osteo, bones that don't grow!
P for prescriptions, I have quite a few, just give me a pill and I'll be good as new! Q is for
queasy, is it fatal or flu? R is for reflux, one meal turns to two.
S is for sleepless nights, counting my fears, T is for Tinnitus; bells in my ears! U is for
urinary troubles with flow; V for vertigo, that's 'dizzy,' you know.
W for worry, now what's going 'round? X is for X ray, and what might be found. Y for
another year I'm left here behind, Z is for zest I still have-- in my mind!
I've survived all the symptoms - but now I'm destroyed.
Still, I keep fifteen doctors fully employed...
Said the little boy, "Sometimes I drop my spoon."
Said the old man, "I do that too."
The little boy whispered, "I wet my pants."
I do that too," laughed the little old man.
Said the little boy, "I often cry."
The old man nodded, "So do I."
But worst of all," said the boy, "it seems
Grown-ups don't pay attention to me."
And he felt the warmth of a wrinkled old hand.
“I know what you mean," said the little old man.
― Shel Silverstein