secret usyd - University of Sydney Union

Transcription

COMMUNITY
plus-size
male
GARDENING
models
young politicians
GETTING
NAKED
28
cosmetic
GHOSTS
& SCEPTICISM
eye surgery
32
deathFACEBOOK
USYD
of the music
SEXISM
industry
12
8
12
17
SECRET
USYD
DISCOVER THE UNI’S HIDDEN TREASURES
issue 07, 2013
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Issue 07
contents
3
COMMUNITY GARDENING
08
Editors
Felix Donovan
Eleanor Gordon-Smith
Diana Pham
John Rowley
Lane Sainty
Kate Wilcox
[email protected]
Contributors
Nicola Alroe, Georgia Behrens, Jessica Budge
Sophie Gallagher, Theresa Gaven, Tash Gillezeau,
Gaius Gracchus, Madeleine Gray, Alistair
Johnston, Georgia Kriz, Sarah McPherson
Loren Nilsson, Michael Rees, Ben Tonkin
Philip Wilcox, Ursula Verdad, Shona Yang
Publications Manager
Louisa Stylian
GETTING NAKED
12
SECRETS OF USYD
17
GHOSTS &
SCEPTICISM
28
USYD FACEBOOK
SEXISM
32
Design manager
Jeanette Kho
Design
Nina Bretnall
Simon Macias
www.usu.EDU.AU
Like Us
Facebook.com/usubullmagazine
The views in this publication are not necessarily
the views of USU. The information contained
within this edition of Bull was correct at the
time of printing.
This publication is brought to you by the
University of Sydney Union
Issue 07, 2013
Write for us!
Whether you’re a budding
student journalist or have a random idea that could be a
great story, email us and you could get published here.
[email protected]
What’s On 04
Columns
06
News
07
Interview
15
When I Grow Up 21
Food & Booze
22
Travel
23
Campus Chatter
24
Fashion
35
Health
36
Science & Tech
37
My Week Without 39
Reviews
40
Caught On Campus 42
Club Hub
43
Shutter Up 44
Stop. Puzzletime
45
Bullshit
46
contents
4
bull usu.edu.au
what’s on
WHAT’S ON
WK 12 (october)
WK 11 (october)
WK 10 (october)
wk 9 (september)
wk 8(september)
MON
16
PRIDE WEEK
TUE
17
PRIDE WEEK
For the FULL CALENDAR OF EVENTS – head
to USU.EDU.AU AND CLICK THE CALENDAR.
Clubs and Socs – remember to submit your events on the website!
WED
THU
FRI
18
19
20
PRIDE WEEK
PRIDE WEEK
PRIDE WEEK
FUNCH
Engineering Revue,
7.30pm, Manning Bar
USU Blue Award
nominations close today.
25
26
27
12-3pm, Eastern ave
Queer Engagement Forum
Nominate at usu.edu.au
Open (non-Autonomous)
Session
6pm, Withdrawing Room,
Holme Building
23
24
USU Student Leadership:
2014 C&S and Debates
Committee roles
close today.
Women’s Panel Series
30
1
2
3
4
Mid-semester break
Mid-semester break
Mid-semester break
Mid-semester break
Mid-semester break
1pm, Isabel Fidler,
Manning House
Apply at usu.edu.au
KickStart applications
close. Got a cool idea?
Apply for KickStart at
usu.edu.au
7
8
USU Student Leadership:
2014 BULL Editor and Art
Collection Officer
roles close today.
Apply at usu.edu.au
9
10
11
Verge Festival
Verge Festival
Verge Festival
Opening Night Featuring
Cosmos Midnight and
Wave Racer
6pm, Verge Gallery
Verge Awards
Swing Night: Dinner,
Big Band and Twist
and Shout DJ
5pm, Verge Dome
Glitter Gala
6pm, Verge Dome
7pm, Refectory,
Holme Building
14
15
16
17
18
Verge Festival
Verge Festival
Verge Festival
Verge Festival
Verge Festival
Project 52:
Spelling Bee
Game of Thrones:
Trivia is Coming
FUNCH
12-3pm, Front Lawns
TheatreSports
Grand Final
Harry Potter and the
Quizoner of Azkaban
Get Up Stand Up Keep Cup:
Final with special guest
Sammy Jy
MADSOC: Burlesque Night
Closing Night Party
featuring Sticky Fingers
7pm, Verge Dome
7pm, MacLaurin Hall
6pm, Verge Dome
7pm, Manning Bar
6pm, Verge Dome
7pm, The Great Hall
8pm, Manning Bar
Issue 07
what’s on
every week
monday-friday
top picks
MONDAYS
Soilwork
FEAT. Death Audio and
Tensions Arise
SOLO SESSIONS
Thursday 3 October, 2013
8pm, Manning Bar // +18
SCHOOL TUTORING
Swedish metallers, Soilwork, are regarded as pioneers
in the genre of melodic death metal. Alongside fellow
Swedish acts such as In Flames and Dark Tranquility,
the band’s unique blend of melodic metal is a fusion
of the classic Gothenburg metal sound with powergroove riffs that were prominent with British and
European metal in the 70s and 80s.
Soilwork played to sold-out crowds in 2010
during their Australian tour delivering monster live
shows and proving themselves to be a world-class
act. Returning to our shores this year, the metal
powerhouse will surely deliver a heart-pumping show
even bigger than the last.
1-2pm, Manning Bar
3-6pm, International
Student Lounge
MOVIE NIGHT
6pm, International
Student Lounge
WEDNESDAYS
$3.50 HAPPY HOUR
FORTNIGHTLY
MARKETS
4-6pm, Hermann’s Bar
9am-3pm,
Eastern Avenue
TUESDAYS
WEEKLY FUNCH
(fun @ lunch)
AUSTRALIAN
DISCUSSION GROUP
1pm, Eastern Ave
3pm, International
Student Lounge
MANNING TRIVIA
THURSDAYS
THEATRESPORTS®
1-2pm, Manning Bar
POOL COMPETITION
4pm, International
Student Lounge
5-6pm, Manning Bar
ROCK YA BALLS BINGO
GET UP!
STAND UP! COMEDY
12-3pm, Manning Bar
5-6pm, Manning Bar
SCHOOL TUTORING
1-2pm, Manning Bar
$3.50 HAPPY HOUR
3-6pm, International
Student Lounge
PROJECT 52 COMEDY
$3.50 HAPPY HOUR
7.30-10.30pm,
Hermann’s Bar
ACCESS $50.15 +bf from ACCESS Desk
General $59 +bf from manningbar.com
VIP tickets $159 +bf from metropolistouring.com
BEAT THE SYSTEM
TUESDAY TV
$3.50 HAPPY HOUR
FRIDAYS
DJs
4-7pm, Manning Bar
$3.50 HAPPY HOUR
STICKY FINGERS+ Lyall Maloney
18 oct
ME FIRST AND THE GIMME GIMMES (USA)
2 oct
3 oct
5 oct
Coming up...
SOILWORK (Swe) + Death Audio
+ Tensions Arise
EDO MAAJKA (Bosnia) + Frenkie + DJ Soul +
Genocide + DJ Sasa from Balkan Surfers Collective
Sun oct 27–sleep (usa)
thu oct 31 – GUS G’S FIREWIND (greece)
Sat Nov 2 – ENSLAVED (Norway)
Fri Nov 8 –SCOTT KELLY & THE ROAD
HOME (feat members of
Neurosis) + JARBOE
(ex-Swans)
19 oct
EVERY TIME I DIE (USA)
KORPIKLAANI (Finland)
25 oct
26 OCT
Fri Nov 15 –NILE (USA)
+ The Faceless (USA)
fri nov 22 –moonsorrow (finland)
Sat Dec 7 – KATAKLYSM (Canada)
BEHEMOTH (Norway) + Hour Of Penance
5
6
bull usu.edu.au
columns
columns
EDITORS’
NOTE
Felix, Eleanor, Diana, John, Lane & Kate
BULL got spooky this issue. It’s no 18 vaginas (Eds:
VULVAS!) but we think it’ll tide you over. We started with
an investigation into the secret pockets of the University
and were escorted by a masked guide around the towers,
passageways and alcoves you’ve never heard of – let alone
been inside – and brought you the mapped-out result.
Next, we went ghostbusting in the abandoned colonial
pockets of Sydney to understand why 45 per cent of
Americans believe in the possibility of visits from beyond the
grave. We didn’t see much but maybe that’s what the ghosts
wanted. When you’re dead you can’t be defamed.
If mortality scares you and you really want to feel alive,
why not get your kit off? That’s exactly what one of our
writers did when she threw a naked party. Now she sees
her friends in a whole new light – as well as from a few
memorable angles.
We also tested our collective green thumbs and
examined the growing trend of community gardening.
Sydney University is soon to host a communal garden so
we thought we’d discuss the benefits, practicalities and
challenges of gardening in groups.
In the Black Eyed Peas song Hey Mama, will.i.am sang,
‘Don’t squeeze triggers, just wanna squeeze tits’, so what
better place to find examples of the objectification of women
than on USyd Facebook communities like Spotted: USyd?
We show you what can happen in online communities
when ‘slut-shaming’ and misogyny are called out. We hope
you enjoy.
Love
BULL x
president’s desk
hannah morris GIVES US A QUICK UPDATE.
Hi everyone, I hope you’re well into the
swing of semester by now and not struggling
too much with mid semester assessments
and exams! The USU is in full swing as well
with lots of exciting projects and big events
coming up.
In terms of our buildings, you may have
noticed the new UniMart store that has
opened up at JFR – it’s your one stop shop for
stationary, newsagency supplies, confectionary,
Sydney Uni hoodies, transit tickets and even
slushees! Be sure to check it out today. We also have an exciting new food
outlet opening up in Level 3 Wentworth – I don’t want to give too much
away about what it will be serving but think… waffles. Just a bit further
on in Wentworth, ISL has installed the TVs set to international channels, so
head on up and catch your favourite TV shows worldwide!
It’s the time of year again for the Verge Festival, a celebration of
creative and performing arts on campus. This year’s festival theme is
‘Unleashed’, with the focus on releasing your inner child and exploring
boundless creativity. The Verge program is always jam-packed with
performances, panel discussions, parties, events and more, so make sure
to attend as much of it as you can and enjoy the fantastic vibe that’s
around campus for those two weeks!
student leader diary
Our 2013 Verge Festival Directors Ask Us to Unleash!
Here we are, roughly a month away from
one the Verge Festival opening. Having to
direct the biggest student-run arts festival
in the Southern Hemisphere is nothing
short of a hard task. But with gumption,
elbow grease and severe RSI from the
constant email correspondence, we think
we’ve given it a pretty good shot.
We’re both thrilled with this year’s
theme ‘Unleashed’ as we think it really calls to attention the importance
of individual creativity. This will be matched in our, shall we say,
colourful program. With events and exhibitions that span across the
artistic spectrum, every student has an opportunity to unleash their inner
creativity or, at the very least, watch a fellow student do so.
This year the Dome makes a comeback as the festival hub with an
added inflatable twist. That was the twist. It’s inflatable. There are a couple
more old favorites including Harry Potter Trivia and Humans Vs. Zombies
as well as some exciting new events such as Game of Thrones Trivia, Lost
Keys, Improv Everywhere and Applespiel.
So come for a look, stay for a while and unleash.
Issue 07
news
1
1
2
3
7
Project Collective Ska win 2013
Sydney Uni Band Comp
USU’s Queer Portfolio under review
Australian Women’s Debating
Championships coming up
3
2
Write for us!
Whether you’re a budding
student journalist or have a
random idea that could be a
great story, email us and you
could get published here.
[email protected]
NEWS
KickStart Your Idea
The next round of KickStart grants
close 4 October 2013. Application
is easy and you could end up with
enough cash to make your idea
happen. Our KickStart program
offers small grants designed to help
students complete or extend a current
project across a diverse range of areas
including humanitarian, Indigenous,
the arts and architecture. Sydney
University students have achieved
some amazing things through
KickStart. To find out more or
apply, visit: usu.edu.au.
Wild Card Wins 2013
Sydney Uni Band Comp
Eight-piece band Project Collective
Ska played an upstroke rhythmic set
during Manning Bar’s 2013 Band
Comp Grand Final which resulted in
them taking out the $2500 first prize.
Project Collective Ska got the crowd
up and dancing to their cool tunes
influenced by 1960s Jamaican party
music from Studio One and Island
Records artists such as Skatalites and
Derrick Morgan.
Although recently formed,
Project Collective Ska have played
at countless festivals as members
of other bands including The
Liberators, Sketch the Rhyme Band,
The Basement Big Band, Kinsky, and
the Bakery. They are fast developing
a reputation for their energetic shows
and love to get people jumping and
skanking. Like them on Facebook/
ProjectCollectiveSka.
Congratulations to our
second and third place winners
Persianlovecake and Okin Osan.
Queer Engagement,
Representation and
Leadership Review Forums
USU’ Queer Portfolio, managed
by student board director, Robby
Magyar, is undergoing a review
that will look into the services and
opportunities currently offered to
queer identifying and questioning
students, and what more can be
done for members of the LGBTIQ*
community on campus within
our Clubs & Societies Program,
Queer Coordinator events, student
leadership opportunities and
everything in between.
To help guide the review, USU
is holding three forums to help
students have their say:
Forum 1: Queer Identifying Wom*n
Autonomous Session
2pm, Wed 18 September
Women’s Room, Level 2 Manning House
Forum 2: Queer Identifying and
Questioning Autonomous Session
Queer Space, Holme Building
Forum 3: Open (non-Autonomous)
Session
Withdrawing Room, Holme Building
USU prepares for the
Australian Women’s
Debating Championships
The Australian Women’s Debating
Championships (AWDC) will be
held during the mid semester break
at UNSW. The AWDC is an annual
debating tournament for female
debaters. Before the introduction
of affirmative action quotas for the
Australasian and World Debating
Championships, women were
severely under-represented, with
many universities sending all-male
contingents. Debating at high levels
was, and often still is, dominated
by a strong male culture that often
discourages participation from
women. The AWDC was initiated
to rectify these issues and to ensure
the long-term development of
women in debating and one way
the tournament supports this
developmental goal is by being
pro-am, which means that more
experienced debaters are paired with
novice debaters.
The debates are British
Parliamentary style involving eight
speakers – four teams of two –
representing either government or
opposition on a particular motion.
The teams are given just 15 minutes
preparation time on a given topic
relevant to current national or
international events, which tests
the debaters’ knowledge and
understanding of complex
world issues. Success in this style of debating
requires strategy and an ability
to think quickly under pressure. Speakers are challenged by ‘points
of information’, which are questions
that can be offered from opposing
teams during a speech. Points of
information require the debater to
quickly respond on their feet, adding
another level of interest.
The AWDC attracts teams from
universities all over Australia and
New Zealand as well as parts of Asia.
Good luck to the following
students who will proudly represent
the University of Sydney Union from
27-30 September:
USU 1: Eleanor Gordon-Smith (Contingent
Captain) and Sarah Mourney
USU 2: Evie Woodforde and Alex Downie
USU 3: Emma Johnstone and Liv Ronan
USU 4: Steph White and Solange Handley
USU 5: Lucy Connell and Subeta
Vimalarajah
USU 6: Natalie Czapski and Gabrielle
McClymont
USU 7: Kimberley Barrett and Rachel
Visontay
USU 8: Linna Wei and Nicola Alroe
USU 9: Penina Su and Maria Mellos
USU 10: Caitlin Kendal and Louise Xie
8
bull usu.edu.au
feature
Lane Sainty tried to SQUASH
as many VEGETABLE puns as
she could into this article.
P
erhaps unfairly,
gardening has long
been considered the
domain of the old and the
impossibly wholesome. In our
time-poor society, increasingly
dependent on immediacy,
waiting for the delicate
blooming of a tulip or pansy
seems practically archaic.
However, despite the fact
that technology has decidedly
trumped the trowel when it
comes to common pastimes,
the trend of community
gardening has only grown
stronger in recent years.
These shared gardening spaces in urban
areas simultaneously allow people to connect
over compost and earthworms while solving
the problem of a lack of inner city space.
Community gardeners across Sydney are
sending a new message to the hipsters of
Newtown and Surry Hills: don’t buy organic,
grow it.
Community gardens have been sprouting
up around Sydney for several years now, with
Glebe Community Gardens in action since
1995. Glebe Garden Secretary Carlo says that
the main motivation for Glebe community
gardeners is a simple lack of outdoor space.
“Mostly it’s because we don’t have garden
spaces at home, whether that’s because we live
in apartments or just properties with no space,”
he says. “Some just garden socially too, and for
others it’s about letting their kids know where
their food comes from.”
Glebe is Sydney’s smallest community
garden, with 38 members tending 20 plots.
There are 18 community gardens and three
footpath gardens in the City of Sydney alone,
with several others stretching into suburbia.
The City of Sydney website has a page devoted
to community gardens, promoting them as
an attractive option for green living. Whereas
all community gardens serve the same basic
function – to provide a place where people can
grow produce and flowers – each garden is run
in its own way. Many gardens in Sydney ask
prospective gardeners to officially join and pay
a small membership fee before becoming part
of the gardening community.
There’s no one ‘type of person’ who
participates in community gardening in
Sydney, with the only common thread being
a connection to food and sustainability. Carlo
says the Glebe garden community is a diverse
one. “We’re a pretty mixed bag — students,
professionals, tradesfolk, retirees, small business
owners, young and old families, gay and lesbian,
religious and secular,” he says. “We’re united by
our love for Glebe as a neighborhood and our
enjoyment of gardens, whether that’s working to
create them or just soaking up their ambience.”
Neighbourhoods like Glebe are not the only
communities to play host to communal gardens,
with the trend moving on to university campuses
in the past few years. The Australian National
University in Canberra boasts an impressive
rooftop garden, the University of Wollongong
has many vegetable beds, and in recent months,
the seeds have been sown for a community
garden here at Sydney University.
Approximately five years ago, a group of
keen student gardeners banded together with
plans for creating a garden, but their hopes
evaporated when they were unable to find a
space on campus. Some ‘guerilla gardening’–
planting gardens in spaces where you are
Issue 07
feature
unauthorised to do so – took place, but to the
disappointment of many, nothing major ever
took off. However, the most recent push for a
community garden on campus, spearheaded
by SRC Vice President Amelie Vanderstock,
has finally been successful in its task of securing
a location.
Last semester a group of students, many
of whom were associated with the SRC’s
Environment Collective, got together to begin
planning a community garden at Sydney
University. “We had a really long game plan
and timeline for how we were going to convince
the University to give us a tiny little patch of
lawn,” says Amelie. She explained the group
of students was initially pessimistic about their
chances of securing a space from the university,
pointing out that “Sydney University likes
its lawns!”
However, an offer from the Centre for
English Teaching (CET) in the Wentworth
Building gave the community gardening
keen beans a possible location. “The CET
approached the Food Co-op and the SRC’s
Environment Collective to suggest perhaps a
small gardening project might be a way to bring
international and domestic students together,”
says Amelie. After negotiating with the Campus
Infrastructure and Services office, the University
of Sydney Union and the CET, confirmation
of the establishment of a community garden on
Community
gardeners across
Sydney are sending
a new message to the
hipsters of Newtown
and Surry Hills:
don’t buy organic,
grow it.
the fifth floor balcony of the Wentworth Building
was approved in late August.
It seems like a lot of hassle for a tiny patch of
land, but it also seems to be a common assertion
that community gardens require a great deal of
cultivation before they can bloom. According to
Carlo, one challenge of community gardening
9
comes from trying to mediate “the many
different levels of expertise and opinions of the
members”. However, while this might make
decision-making difficult at times, a diversity of
opinion and interests is ultimately a tremendous
boon for community gardens, allowing for the
individualisation that makes each garden unique.
At the Glebe Garden, it’s all about food, with
many of the gardeners also being passionate
cooks. “Because a lot of us are cooks we also
tend to grow some rare and unusual varieties
of vegetables and herbs,” says Carlo. “One
member for instance has a passion for Japanese
heirloom vegetables, and it’s always interesting
to see what he digs up.” Although he says a huge
variety of vegetables are grown in the Glebe
gardens, Carlo admits they have to draw the line
somewhere. “Our only rule with what you grow
is that it’s got to be legal!”
The vision for the Sydney University
garden is for a garden that is both edible and
educational, with plans to grow food crops
alongside native Australian plants. Ideally, say
the organisers, the garden will not only be
a place that people can learn about growing
food, but also a peaceful space where student
collectives and activist groups can hold meetings
and workshops.
The idea of growing food in a public space
tosses up a perennial concern of community
gardens: how, in an urban location, can they
10
bull usu.edu.au
feature
lower the risk of vandalism and theft? Various
community gardens have different strategies,
with some adopting an attitude of que sera, sera,
and others preferring to hedge their bets. Some
gardens opt for fences around their plots with
locked gates; however, this can often prove
logistically difficult with the number of people
who often require access to the garden.
Carlo is matter-of-fact about the threat
of vandalism, saying that it’s a problem for all
community gardens. “We’ve taken measures
to ensure all our materials are locked and
resources like water are kept secure when we’re
not around,” he said. “While we’ve not gone to
the lengths some gardens have to place fences
around plots, the garden itself is secured outside
opening hours.”
Amelie is confident that the balcony location
of the proposed Sydney University garden will
ensure it is neither vandalised nor stolen from.
“The balcony space is only open from eight in
the morning until eight at night, and it’s quite
secure.You have to walk through the building to
get there, so vandalism shouldn’t be a problem.”
Another challenge of community gardening
is the sharing of produce, something every
garden does differently. “Communal crops are
collected by the people who grow them, so while
the land is communal the crops usually aren’t,”
explains Carlo. While some gardens do share
produce communally, these tend to be gardens
with a certain variety of produce, for instance,
several fruit trees. “Conventional crops usually
need specialist care, and it seems fairer for the
person who tends them to get the crop. That
said, when there’s a glut members often share
produce among themselves,” he says.
Ultimately, all of the challenges tossed up
by community gardening are countered by
the kinds of communities they create: groups
of people interested in working to benefit a
community, not just themselves.
The Sydney University garden is intended
to promote both green living and social change,
with the initial CET proposal spurred on by
a desire to bring international and domestic
students together. Amelie says she has worked
hard to bring together several groups on campus
to make this change a reality. “I have tried to
“Our only
“Our
only
rule
rule
with
with what you
what
you
grow
grow is
that
it’s
is
that
it’s
got
got to be legal!”
to be legal!”
help facilitate different collectives and different
groups of people to have a community garden
– to bring domestic and international students
together, to work with the Disabilities and
Carers Collective, to work with Environment
Collective, to work with societies like the Food
Co-op and VegeSoc.”
Carlo, too, spruiks the community benefit
of the Glebe garden, saying that it brings people
together in the Glebe area. “I think we provide a
space where residents can meet their neighbours
and other locals outside of the usual bars,
restaurants and cafes, while taking part in an
activity we’ve kind of lost touch with but done
for generations,” he says. “Plus, we provide a
place for you to get your hands dirty!”
Despite her passion for the creation of a
community garden, Amelie admits that she
doesn’t have “the greenest of thumbs,” but is
eager for the garden to be a space where less
knowledgeable gardeners can learn from their
friends. “Living in the city, a lot of students
haven’t had the experience with gardening,
especially urban gardening,” she says. “By
having a community garden at university we’re
creating a community that will be able to learn
gardening skills together.” We might all be
pruning, digging and planting before too long.
own the future
ArtS And SoCIAL
SCIenCeS
PoStGrAduAte
deGree
A University of Sydney postgraduate degree will empower you to forge your
own future. Our new postgraduate courses have been designed in consultation
with industry leaders to give you the skills to take you wherever you want to go.
Discuss your study options with our experts at our next information evening.
Don’t wait for the future to happen. Arm yourself with a postgraduate degree
and own it now.
SoCIAL SCIenCeS, teAChInG And huMAnItIeS
PoStGrAduAte InforMAtIon eVenInG
wednesday 2 october, 5 to 7pm
Law foyer, Level 2, new Law Building
Please register your interest online at
sydney.edu.au/arts/events
12
bull usu.edu.au
feature
Hanging
out
with
friends
Ursula Verdad threw a naked party and everybody loved it.
Issue 07
feature
13
I
t was like any other party. Fruit and cold meats were laid out on the table,
guests were milling around, pouring themselves drinks and getting to
know those they didn’t already know. Light jazz played in the background.
Someone asked to turn up the heater, and we all agreed. It was a little chilly
in the art gallery, not aided by the fact that we were all completely naked.
This was nudity as a social experiment. A party
I threw that asked the question: what happens
when you gather a group of friends together,
add wine and a modest selection of cheeses
and then finally ask everyone to take their
clothes off?
It’s hard to know how many nudists there
are in Australia. But one thing all the available
statistics confirm is that people under the age
of 30 are particularly shy about getting undressed
in public. While some music festivals have naked
dance floors, and there are naked events young
people can participate in – like the Sydney
Skinny nude swim in the harbour – there doesn’t
feel like there’s much a young, momentarily
brazen person could do in Sydney to express
and discover new ideas. I wanted to foster an
appropriate environment for that to take place
in, so the idea became a reality in the form of
a party.
The night approached with an acceptable
number of curious minds dedicated to getting
their kit off. A limited student budget and
the desire to stay separate from any sexual
connotation led me to approach an art gallery
that regularly held life-drawing classes. I
crossed my fingers and delicately explained
over the phone what we were doing (‘… a small
installation exploring the nude human body…’
‘… so you’ll be needing heaters then?’). All of
a sudden my grand plans were realised. I had
locked in 13 young lads and lasses willing to
expose their nether regions to bare cafe chairs.
I just hoped that I had enough Sicilian green
olives and triple cream brie to satisfy them all.
It was a lesson in caution recruiting people for
this event. “I’m trying to host a nude party,”
I would begin, and immediately I could see a
flurry of fearsome and indecent thoughts racing
through their brains as they quietly nodded and
angled their body away from me. “It’s a bit of a
social experiment”, I continued, and witnessed
people’s fight-or-flight mechanisms kicking in.
At the invitation an array of people
confirmed their attendance.
Defying obligation, university
friends threw their honours
essays up in the air.
A friend from an old
job a few years ago
reluctantly agreed
after he made me
swear not to tag him
on Facebook. Male
friends were noncommittal until I asked
whether the footy was
more fun than getting
their kit off, to which
they replied indignantly “of
course not”, and a few female
friends surprised me by agreeing
straight away challenging notions about
women and body issues. “I have no hang ups
whatsoever,” one said to me over the phone
during our first tentative conversation. “I think
my boyfriend is more concerned about his
love handles than I am.”
In the interest of keeping the ball rolling I
had instated a ten o’clock deadline for getting
our clothes off. We had hired the gallery until
midnight, so the midway point seemed an
acceptable ‘no pants beyond this point’ curfew.
As a result, between nine thirty and ten as we all
shouted out the number of dwindling minutes
until the decided time, we all walked around in
a state of dishevelled disorganisation.
“Forty minutes left!”
One girl languished around in her
lacy dressing gown like it was early
morning and she was simply
serving tea.
“Twenty-five until
we’re all starkers!”
Awkwardly, bras
were taken off and
tucked neatly in bags.
There were no jokes
made about nipples
or balls. We were all
bloody freezing and
there was no way to
hide it.
“Ten! 5! Aaaagh!”
“I feel a little like a porn
star,” said one friend as he
spun around in his business socks
and lifted a fedora from the head of a
Styrofoam bust in the corner. He had a bit of a
Tuesday’s-buttons-in-Wednesday’s-holes thing
going on with his shirt. We both looked down
at the same moment and noted the asymmetry.
“I did them back up,” he said sheepishly.
“I didn’t want to seem too keen, but I suppose
the time for modesty is over now, eh?”
What happens
when you gather
a group of friends
together, add wine
and a modest selection
of cheeses and then
finally ask everyone
to take their
clothes off?
14
bull usu.edu.au
feature
Three girls slunk out of their tops discreetly in
What is your earliest memory of nudity and do
the corner, one pulling her socks back on to keep you feel this has affected your conception of what’s
normal?
her toes warm. In a race to avoid being the last
Did you do any specific grooming before coming
in my birthday suit I whipped off my underwear
here tonight? (To which someone had answered,
and threw them in my bag as out of the corner
‘Yes and I nearly sliced my fucking balls off. They’re
of my eye four guys came charging through the
nice and smooth though.’ )
archway to the gallery.
The answers more or less confirmed what
“Did I win?” one asked breathlessly, holding
his pants overhead like a trophy with all his glory I had expected.Yes, we link nudity with sex.
hanging down.
One rather tall and excited Englishman
popped through the throng of undressing people,
his voice carrying above the noise of everyone’s
hysterical amusement at their own exposure.
“Hummus, anyone?”
Before stripping off and wandering around
the gallery, most people hadn’t actually been
naked in front of anyone other than their
reflections or partners. We all assumed a
mixture of modesty and faux-confidence for
the first 30 seconds before we realised it wasn’t
actually such a big deal.
The point of hanging out with people in
this setting was to leave our insecurities with
our pants on the floor. It didn’t seem the place
to discuss our funny nipples or how being an
innie or an outie had affected us – I scarcely saw
the opportunity between pouring myself a new
drink and smearing some pâté on a cracker. We
all sucked it up, put our best feet and ankles and
knees forward, and after about a minute had
Girls’ boyfriends hadn’t necessarily wanted
possibly even convinced ourselves that being
them attending. Most people remembered
naked had no effect on our behavior.
being naked in the bath as a child. People were
I had been a little worried about how we
proud of their bodies, and excited about doing
might occupy ourselves for the evening. In
something daring, something courageous like
preparing for the party, and curious about how
stripping down in front of strangers.
others perceived what we were doing, I designed
The idea of taking photographs had been
a little questionnaire. Using generous amounts
discussed before we’d commenced the evening’s
of blu-tak, everyone’s answers were stuck up
proceedings. “I want some record of me being
around the walls of the gallery. We dimmed the
here,” said one girl I’d only ever seen before at
lights to an acceptable level and carried candles
uni in passing, “but I’m a little worried about
around with us to illuminate the answers.
people finding out about this in the future.
Do you think that nudity and sex are
I don’t want people to stumble across my butt
inextricably linked?
People were
proud of their
bodies, and
excited about
doing something
daring.
on the Internet.” She paused. “I mean, I went for
a run before I came here and I knew it probably
wouldn’t have any effect, but...” We all nodded
our agreement, mouths full of cheese and bread
and continued the night with our phones tucked
away in our bags.
With about 15 minutes to go, we all realised
it was coming to an end too quickly. We all
edged closer to the stage normally reserved for
life models and bowls of fruit. Our smartphone
cameras couldn’t handle the low-lit romance of
the tea lights that lit the space.
Someone flicked on the lights.
“We lost our shit.”
“Phooooootooooooos!”
At first it was just a few silly photos,
posing with our bottoms turned demurely to
the camera. Ten minutes to go and any prior
worries were left completely aside as we started
doing jump shots off the stage. Gravity was kind
to our young bodies. We clung to each other in a
semi-hysterical frenzy of naked camaraderie and
nervousness. We covered each other’s faces for
the sake of privacy and celebrated that we had
done this weird crazy communal thing. To this
day there’s a whole chunk of photos that I have
to swipe past on my phone lest an unsuspecting
commuter become privy to our activities.
Descending the gallery steps into the street,
the one thing that stuck with me was how
relaxed we had been five minutes in and the
level of friendly comfort we now had around
one another. Walking away from the gallery,
we said our goodbyes and filed off our separate
ways into the night. The people I have spoken
to since are always so excited to talk about the
effect it’s had on them, but it’s a little like fight
club in that for some, all knowing is reduced to
a quiet little smile.
Who knows, it may even happen again.
If you are interested in attending any future potential
events email [email protected]
Issue 07
INTERVIEW
INTERVIEW
Kirsten Drysdale
Finishing her latest gig as researcher and writer with the Chaser’s
election show The Hamster Decides, Kirsten Drysdale talks to Diana Pham
about politicians, TV and great places to visit on the Internet.
Kirsten Drysdale has come a long way from
growing up on a small cattle farm in Central
Queensland (selling moo poo for $2 a bag to earn
a living) to presenting on ABC’s comedy and
current affairs show Hungry Beast and the Chaser’s
The Checkout.
Hey Kirsten, how’s TeeVee Land treating you lately?
TeeVee land is treating me like the grateful
minion that I am. It makes me watch countless
hours of tedious press conferences and policy
announcements, all of which I dutifully track
on a colour-coded spreadsheet.
What were you doing before THE Hamster Decides?
Sitting in my room reading economics textbooks,
drinking whisky and playing Mario Kart on the
Wii. I’m currently on a self-imposed ban from
the Wii due to playing it 17 hours straight.
Economics is really baffling…
Economics still baffles me. No matter how much
I try to study it and understand it, it still feels like
something just fundamentally beyond my grasp,
but that makes me all the more interested in it,
which really just fuels a cycle of frustration.
While working on The Hamster Decides, who was
an underwhelming politician that you met?
Underwhelming politicians... Joe Hockey.
I wouldn’t say I “met” him though. I just once
saw him in the Green Room, and was really
disappointed that he didn’t sigh and scoff
anywhere near as much in person as he does
at press conferences.
And who’s exceeded your expectations?
Bob Katter. He’s everything you see on TV
and more. We shared some good-hearted
North Queensland banter.
Was TV what you always wanted to do, or did it just
kind of happen?
TV sort of just happened – I had grand plans
to be a print journo and was keen to get into
documentary making. TV had never really
appealed to me until the pitch for Hungry Beast
(then Project NEXT) went out. I will be eternally
grateful for that opportunity, because now
I am hooked.
Apparently Rebel Wilson had a ‘calling’ to
be an Oscar-winning actor while hallucinating
15
after contracting Malaria. Has anything
similar happened to you, where you thought,
if I live, I’m going to make the most of my life?
I can’t say I’ve ever had a “calling”, but when
I was eight years old, I nearly drowned after
getting stuck in a pool ladder while trying to be a
mermaid doing loops between the rungs.
The vivid memory of that near death experience
is always good inspiration when I’m feeling
hesitant, wussy or lazy. “It could all be over
any second! Make the most of now! Oh God
don’t breathe in the water!”
Going back to Hungry Beast, how was working
with Andrew Denton?
Ok. Working with Denton was ‘pinch-yourself’
great. Ninety-five per cent inspiring and five per
cent terrifying. He had extremely high standards
and set an excellent example, which is why it
was horrible to ever feel like you’d let him down.
You felt like you were a person to him, not just
an employee. I would work for him again in a
heartbeat and feel incredibly privileged to have
him as a mentor.
Pop quiz:
Funniest YouTube clip: Angry Brush Girl
at 10 seconds in.
Best Twitter: Hands down it’s
@CrimerShow. I have spent literally hours
and hours in stitches while scrolling that feed.
The guy behind it is an anonymous Irish
comedy writer. I think he’s a genius.
Strangest place on the Internet:
news.com.au
Best party trick: I can do The Worm...
but learnt the hard way not to do it while
wearing button-fly jeans.
Finish this sentence: “If you want to be
my lover”… you should tweet me some sweet
gifs @KirstenDrysdale.
Image courtesy of SBS2Australia
academybrand.com
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314 king street
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10% off instore with student card
15% off instore with ACCESS card
Issue 07
feature
Eleanor Gordon-Smith met a cloaked
informant known only as “L” to
confirm (or decline to comment on)
the underbelly of usyd life.
A
t the start of the year BULL gave you an
introduction to university. We told you how to
live it cheap and how to get the most out of
your fixie on the beaten tracks and surfaced roads
of Camperdown. We’re now deep in the bowels of
Semester 2 and it’s time to get a little naughty.
17
18
bull usu.edu.au
feature
The Clock Tower
is a magnificently
well-kept secret that,
like most secrets,
is right under
your nose.
1. The Tunnels
The story about tunnels under the Quadrangle
is as tangled and murky as the tunnels
themselves. Their original story varies
depending on who’s insisting they exist. Sydney
exploring aficionados know that abandoned
tunnels are a lot more common than you’d
think; abandoned air-raid shelters, shut-off
stormwater drains and the ghostly stubs of
never-completed train routes snake underneath
the city alongside some pockets no one quite
knows how to explain. The Quad’s tunnels –
if they exist – allow a hypothetical marauder
to make her way from the bell tower to Fisher
Library without coming up for air.
A since-retired lecturer tells me they
originated during World War I as an evacuation
route or shelter. Records from the era (though
admittedly scant) show no evidence of the
flagstones of the Quadrangle being ripped
up to make way for a series of tunnel routes,
nor is there enough evidence to confirm that
Sydney University was the source of any such
help in the war. But that’s exactly what they’d
have wanted the Germans to think.
Cloaked assistant L says the tunnels are
the one part of the University he’s never been
able to find. Members of the Old Guard of
the Russelian society swear blind they used
to hold their meetings in the tunnels, and
discuss Heidegger with a bottle of red wine.
2.The Clock Tower
BULL owes a significant hat tip to marauderin-chief, L, for pointing this one out. The Clock
Tower is a magnificently well-kept secret that,
like most secrets, is right under your nose.
L’s conditions of helping us were threefold:
1. That we brought him a packet of sour skittles
with all the green ones taken out 2. That we
never saw his face and 3. That we wouldn’t
disclose the exact locations of these treasures.
We’re with him on that. These places are quiet,
shrouded, whispering pockets of history. To
cover them in footprints and to make them new
sites of hazing rituals would be nothing short of
blasphemy. The clock was originally housed in
the Quadrangle but when the Carillion arrived
it got demoted. Instead of making a fuss
and shrieking Taylor Swift songs as it was
dismantled, the clock went to its new home with
quiet dignity. It still sits there today, a piece of
beautiful mechanical engineering tucked away
in a building you walk past every day. It’s less
than 700 metres from its original home and it’s
up some stairs, not down some stairs. Don’t let
them pull the wool over your eyes.
3. St Michael’s
St Michael’s is not a secret but the way into it is.
St Michael’s is the bowing, boarded-up mystery
that separates the Wentworth Building from the
Seymour Centre. It was built as a residential
college by the Catholic Church for students
studying at the University, but the passage
of time and the presence of anarchists slowly
winched the building away from divinity.
In 2009 Honi Soit published an article
that claimed a fire in St Michael’s had killed
16 students, who found themselves trapped by
an inexplicably barricaded door. Flickering lights,
missing property and strange sounds shrouded
St Michael’s until its rapid closure a few years
later. The following week Honi described the
article as “an exercise in fictional storytelling”.
Presumably when strange noises, lights and
smashed windows started appearing again
in St Michael’s three years later, the student
population dismissed it as more tomfoolery
from student journalists. It took two fire engines,
a dozen policemen in riot gear, a pack of sniffer
Issue 07
Feature
dogs and a chainsaw to break down the door
and extract seven very real squatters. The stillabandoned building now plays host to no ghosts
and no squatters, which means you’ll face no
confused faces or floating candles if you choose
to go on a night time wander. BULL can’t
condone squatting, breaking, entering, or any
of the other words that sound like they belong
in the criminal code, but we can say we learned
the hard way you’ll need some rope.
4. The Turret
L’s best tip for university marauding is to
head up. Most architecture students say the
same thing: in the course of walking around
in everyday life, we’re mostly preoccupied
with the route between point A and point B,
or navigating a crowd, or looking in windows
at ourselves. The intricacies and delicacies of
buildings tend to happen well above our sight
line, so look up. Walk up.
The Turret is a treasure not to be accessed
by students and we will continue to respect
our cloaked tour guide’s wishes by not
disclosing its exact location. It’s in the building
most commonly evacuated for fire alarms,
a sandstone classic, and the bit you want to
aim for looks like it’s two upside-down middle
fingers. The view is worth it.
5. A Raven and A Patron
L takes us for a visit to the Anderson Stuart
building, best done under the cloak of darkness.
Anderson Stuart is the home of all budding
medical students and contains many a homage
to its founder, named, you will be surprised to
hear, Thomas Anderson Stuart. The Anderson
Stuart building is filled with macabre homages
to the science of anatomy, which look like
enlightened testaments to the curiosity of
humanity in the daytime, and transform into
the fucked up tokens of an evil scientist the
second the sun sets. Go in with a friend and
a flashlight and spook the shit out of yourself
with such jewels as a set of stain-glass windows
featuring human skulls, dissected intestines,
and a scowling bearded man in a neck-ruff
clutching a human heart with arteries poking
out. Note to all medical students: they may be
veins and not arteries. I do not care. I am pretty
sure I saw his eyes move.
One of the ways the Anderson Stuart
building likes to pay tribute to its namesake
is with the icon of the raven. It’s carved over
19
the entrance to the main foyer along with the
initials “A.S”, and a cast iron raven sits over the
fountain. Legend has it that Anderson had a big
nose, got called “Raven” around the department,
and placed the raven in the school as a sort of
awkward moment of teacher banter.
Icons commemorating important academic
influencers are hardly uncommon in university
buildings. The philosopher Jeremy Bentham
was so important to University College London
(UCL) that when he died, his body was stuffed
and mounted in a glass case on campus where
it is wheeled out to attend faculty meetings and
marked as “present but not voting”. Bentham’s
head was often the victim of undergraduate
pranks. This should not in any way be taken as
an incitement to mistreatment of the Anderson
Stuart Raven, but it wasn’t what we’d call “unfunny” when Bentham’s head was ransomed
back to UCL.
BULL can offer no further advice and
has at no point in this article encouraged
misdemeanour, marauding or mischief. Ignore
this information and proceed about your lives
as students. Under no circumstances tuck a
copy in your pocket next time you’re on campus
after dark.
MASTER OF
TEACHING
INFORMATION
SESSION
Do you want to make a difference by inspiring future generations?
A career in teaching could be right for you. Graduates are in strong
demand, especially in mathematics, biology, chemistry and physics.
Explore your options at our next information session.
Thursday 19 September, 1 to 2pm
Law Lounge, Level 1, New Law Building
Please RSVP by Tuesday 17 September.
Email: [email protected]
For more information about becoming a teacher, visit our website:
sydney.edu.au/education
Issue 07 21
when i grow up
I want to be…
a mountain biker
E
ach issue of BULL we find somebody with a
profession that’s a little bit left of centre. This month,
we chatted to Niki Gudex, a former Australian
mountain biking pro who is also a qualified graphic designer,
photographer and model – several dream careers in one.
At one point or another, you’ve been a pro
mountain biker, a graphic designer and a
model. What’s the deal?
When I was growing up, I was really into art
and graphic design and I thought that’s what
I would do. But when I was 20 I started bike
riding and fell in love with it. I was doing a
degree at university in graphic design but
also training every day and going to world
championships while I was doing my degree,
which was pretty intense. I’ve always been into
creative arts stuff as well, and the two things
complemented each other – I did a little bit
of graphic design for bike companies as a pro
rider, I had my own clothing line and was doing
signature bike graphics.
With modeling, I’ve been photographed a
lot through my cycling, as well as for magazines
and endorsement deals. It helps to have been
on that side of the camera. Now I’m actually
doing a lot of photographic work and I
love being behind the camera – now I have
much more opportunity to express my own
creative vision.
So you’re not riding professionally at
the moment?
I had to stop competing for a while after
some injuries and it was during that time
that I started to realise just how much my
creative side was crying out for a bit more
attention. For ten years I was travelling the
world, competing in world cups and on the
American national circuit, and the physical
demands of that are huge.You don’t really
get time to slow down, and after ten years of
that I just needed to have some time to recharge
and refocus.
How did you get into mountain biking in the
first place?
I was actually snowboarding before I got into
biking. When I was in high school I went to a
snowboarding school in Sweden, but I broke
my back snowboarding and didn’t want to do
it anymore. So I got a mountain bike to get fit,
but I lived in the city and didn’t know where to
ride it. I called Directory Assistance and they
put me through to Bicycle NSW, and it was just
lucky that the guy who answered the phone was
about my age and he was going to a bike race
that weekend in Bargo. I’ve always been pretty
adventurous – if I see a rabbit hole I’ll go down
it to see what’s there. So I took a train out to
Bargo, took my bike, and really enjoyed the
experience. And then there was a national race
on in Thredbo the next weekend, so I went
down to that too, and I just kept going.
What kind of training did you have to do to
compete at a professional level?
A lot – around 30 hours a week. I’d ride to
Wollongong, to Penrith, to Gosford, to Palm
Beach, just to get a six or seven hour ride into
the day. I was doing weights in the gym three
days a week. It’s very structured and very
intense. It’s only now that I’ve stepped away
from the intense training that I’ve realised how
much of a commitment it really is.
You said you coach bike riding— what is it like, as
a former pro, to now be imparting your wisdom
on amateurs?
In Sydney, I’ve been coaching at Sydney
Park with a company called BikeWise. We get
everyday people who are looking to improve
their confidence riding in the city and take them
through a skills program, to get them riding
around more comfortably and understanding
how to share the road. It’s nice to teach riding
in such a practical manner, rather than to teach
the finer points. When I first started it was really
hard because I wanted to teach them about
pedal stroke and nutrition and all kinds of things,
but that really doesn’t matter to someone who
just wants to ride to work.
Australia is a nation obsessed with sport, but
we’re mostly couch-sitters, not professionals.
What advice do you have for people who want to
take their sport to the next level?
I think that while you’re doing your sport you
need to have other things in your life as well.
It’s also really important to stay on top of injuries.
If somebody says give an injury three weeks,
give it three weeks. It’s not the life sentence
it feels like! And you’ve obviously got to be
very committed – but you’ve also got to enjoy
the process.
WHEN I GROW UP
22
bull usu.edu.au
food & BOOZE
FOOD & BOOZE
Ethnic Foods
White People Like
Madeleine Gray investigates the difficulties
of being a Caucasian at an Asian restaurant.
W
hite people (WP.) WP
in Australia, especially.
A whole group of citizens
with no cuisine to call their
own. Blessed with most other
advantages in life, white people
suffer this one shortcoming. So
to remedy the problem, they
embrace the foods of many
different ‘ethnic’ cultural groups,
including that of Thailand, India,
Japan and China. But a childhood
meal plan of meat and three veg
does not prepare WP well for the
consumption of sukiyaki. In light
of this, here are three ethnic dishes
that white people like. Because
they are plain, and available at the
local pub.
Spring Rolls
WP order these when they go to the Chinese
restaurant on a Friday night with their
grandparents. This is because spring rolls taste
of friedness, which WP are used to from the
fish ‘n’ chip shop. And they don’t require
chopsticks, which are the bane of WP’s existence.
Seriously, next time you’re eating at your local
ethnic consortium, see if you can spot WP
attempting to consume fried rice with chopsticks.
It is a tragic, protracted, painstaking and
hilarious process. And they will probably be
drinking pink lemonade. For some reason, WP
associate this with Chinese restaurants.
Traditionally, spring rolls are small and crispy.
When appropriated for WP consumption, they
are super-sized, and so bland that they must be
dunked into vats of mass-produced sweet chilli
sauce to acquire any flavour. WP will now grin,
satisfied, and say something like “I really connect
with Chinese food” or “culture is fun”.
Red Chicken Curry
One of the most popular WP dishes at a Thai
restaurant, because it is one of the only items on
the menu in ENG-LISH. Why choose the Pa
Lo Khai when you don’t know what the fuck’s
in it? Best stick to the stuff you recognise and
enjoy, like coconut milk, chicken and MSG. Red
chicken curry delivers these exact ingredients,
making for a filling, familiar and gentrified
dish. True to form, WP will avoid ordering any
drinks that are not also available at Coles, so a
nice cold Diet Coke will be procured, creating a
fascinating aesthetic and cultural juxtaposition.
Schnitzel Sushi
Ah, sushi. Making it easy for WP to say they like
Japanese food since 1971. And it comes on a fun
conveyor belt too, so WP can sit and eat it whilst
perusing a variety of plates, without having to
try and order things that they can’t pronounce.
Sushi is also great because if you are a tight arse,
you can pick only the light blue plates, thereby
limiting your options to rice and canned tuna,
but saving two dollars overall.
WP get a bit freaked out by sashimi. They
also don’t like to see food in its natural state. It
needs to have been processed, turned into a
different shape, or put on a bun. So the clever
Japanese entrepreneurs behind the sushi train
have come up with a brilliant solution. Instead
of trying to instil an appreciation of traditional
Japanese food within the white populous, they
have just shoved select WP foods smack bang in
the middle of the sushi roll. The prime example
of this is chicken schnitzel sushi. Even the
awkwardness of the name belies the incongruity
of this cultural amalgamation. It’s delicious,
but still. WP love it.
WP are completely unadventurous in their
ethnic food selection. They want something
familiar when surrounded by wait staff that
don’t look like them. If supply and demand
continue to necessitate such great innovations
as the chicken schnitzel sushi roll, we could be
approaching a brave new world.Yes, tradition is
important. But so is the possibility of pad see ew
sandwiches. I think it is clear which will win.
Probably
Unauthentic
Butter Chicken
Serves 4 hungry WP
Ingredients
• 100g butter
• 1 onion
• 500g coconut milk
• 400ml tomato sauce
• 2-3 teaspoons curry powder
• 1-2 tablespoons paprika
• 1 teaspoon of mixed spice, turmeric,
nutmeg salt, Cajun pepper
• 1 tablespoon of parsley and chives,
chopped
• 4 chicken breasts, cubed
• A handful of green peas and a
chopped potato
What you do
1. Melt butter in a large pot over medium
heat, add chopped onion, sauté until
onion goes soft. Add coconut milk and
tomato sauce. Stir well and bring to boil.
2. Turn down to low heat. Add spicy
components. Mix well, then add parsley
and chives.
3. Add all other ingredients (chicken,
peas, potatoes), ensuring to mix well.
Let cook for 30-45 minutes,
occasionally stirring.
4. Serve, eat, digest, etc.
Issue 07
travel
travel
Top 3 Things To
Do in Bangladesh
A Violent Love Affair
With An Unlikely
Destination
Shona Yang on politics,
nationalism and religion in Bangladesh.
M
y first moments in
Dhaka, the capital
of Bangladesh and
one of the most densely
populated cities in the world,
were a blur of people, dust
and traffic. Stepping off the
plane, it was the thick stench
of pollution that hit me first.
Terminals are clogged by a
system failure as officials
hand process my visa. Locals
stare curiously and guards
holding rifles look at me in
suspicion. Child beggars
follow us to a car park, in a
way reminiscent of a scene
from Slumdog Millionaire,
and when we finally reach
the hotel transfer bus, it
offers no solace. I grip my
bags as I face the sporadic
movements of reckless
rickshaws, overflowing
buses and crammed cabs.
Welcome to Bangladesh.
During my stay, three Bengalis tell me
“Bangladesh is a country where you don’t want
to come, but once you do, you don’t want to
leave.” Indeed. Despite the shock experience
of day one, I begin adjusting to the mosquitoes,
prayer calls and even the traffic. Every drive
through the city streets leaves me mesmerised.
In Dhaka, poverty and development take
the form of construction. Building work is
everywhere. Men and young boys hack at
23
3. Mainimati Ruins: A physical chronicle
of the history of Buddhism, these ruins
were once buildings made entirely of
baked bricks.
2. Cox’s Bazar Beach: Swim and sail
at a beautiful beach in the south of
Bangladesh.
1. See the suffering in Dhaka: Living in
one of Asia’ poverty-ridden megacities,
the people of Dhaka are exploited by their
government and by TNCs. Bangladesh
is an unusual tourist destination, so if
you go, be sure to open your eyes to the
realities of globalisation.
rubble with no shoes, paving the way for
Three no-transport hartals, or strikes,
new apartments, roads, bridges and even
were enforced by the Jamaat in the span of
an amusement park. This is a city rapidly
my 13 days in Bangladesh. The hartals are
expanding to accommodate for the growing
nothing like the strikes and pickets that have
influx of job seekers from around the country.
characterised industrial action at this University
Dhaka is immensely overcrowded, already
over the last year, but rather prohibit the use of
home to more than 15 million people across
any four-wheeled vehicles from 6am to 6pm
250sq kms. No wonder the traffic in Dhaka city
across the nation. During the 12 restrictive
turns a 20 minute ride into an hour-long journey. hours Dhaka is eerily still except for the
Lining the streets of Dhaka, you notice
occasional rickshaw. This was pure retaliation
photos of a bearded man with a rope caressed
and power play by the Jamaat and as I was
around his neck. This is Delwar Hossain
leaving, news of violent protests against the
Sayedee, a senior leader of Bangladesh’s second
Shabagh shot fear through the population.
largest Islamic party, the Jamaat-e-Islami. The
The violence and scare tactics intensify with
posters are visual evidence of a nation-wide
growing support for the Shabagh.
civilian movement, the Shabagh, gaining force
Initially, the whole ordeal surrounding the
and momentum.
death penalty seemed a little undemocratic
The Shabagh calls for the death sentence
and primitive. It was the all too familiar
of influential leaders of the Jamaat and its ally,
smell of pride and arrogance. However, with
the Bangladesh National Party, accused of
every conversation and relationship all-toocommitting heinous crimes against humanity
familiar, you get a hint of the complexity and
in the country’s independence war of 1971.
multi-faceted issue of recovering from past
The war criminals were initially sentenced to
trauma, fighting political tyrants and juggling
life imprisonment. Not enough for people
an overflowing population. The three Bengalis
hungry for retributive justice. They want the
were right. I checked in my luggage but I didn’t
death penalty and nothing less for the millions
want to leave. I longed to stay and fight for
brutally raped and murdered by Pakistani
this country, to satisfy a craving for a national
loyalists and anti-liberationists.
identity that I never knew existed.
Images courtesy of 42cywordpress.com
24
bull usu.edu.au
campus chatter
CAMPUS
CHATTER
Dear Thai
waitress at
Thai La-Ong,
You looked great in that
Gucci belt. It looked fake,
so let me show you
something real.
Thai La-Long(ing)
for you.
I’m not a
stalker,
but...
Dear Hot MIKE,
You are so divine, especially when
you wear a tank top that’s low cut
and shows your (hairless) chest.
You also have an impressive tan,
especially when we’re just coming
out of winter.
Bi-Guy.
Dear SUNNY,
I used to go to the LUKE choir to
check you out.You were seriously
the hottest Asian dude I knew.
But I’ve noticed lately that you’re
becoming a mega-hipster (ray-ban
prescription glasses, leather tote
bag, large Lotus tattoo on your
pectorals, which you shamelessly
flaunt to show how ‘enlightened’
you are). Please stop ruining
your hotness.
Anon.
HEY YOU!
Someone you
want to woo
and/or passivelyaggressively
complain about?
Send us your
stalker messages:
usubullmag@
gmail.com
Dear Debater,
You can knock down my straw
man any time.
Love,
Affirmative! Affirmative! Affirmative!
Dear dude with the PhD,
We met at a mutual friend’s 21st.
I flirted with you, calling you
‘white as a bleached asshole’.
You were taken aback, but that’s
just my sense of humour. Let me
lighten your day, and buy you
coffee this week?
The Beautician to your
beastly butthole.
Dear Nude Female Revue Participant,
I’ve never considered diverging
from the Path of Penis before,
but I am more than willing to invest
in some Les Biz with you.
Yours,
Curiosity Piqued
To the campaigners,
Fuck off.
Everyone.
vox pops
question
If you want
to be my lover…
Jess
Science III
You gotta get with my friends!
Mujib
Masters in Peace and
Conflict StuDIES
You have to be a beautiful
and educated girl in her 20s.
Raquela
Arts
(Media & Communications) II
You’ve got to appreciate my likes
and interests.
Issue 07
campus chatter
Please,
have
a cow
Got beef with
something?
Spill your guts in
300 words or less
to usubullmag@
gmail.com
Loren Nilsson’s
Favourite show got cancelled
and she’s had enough.
To a fan, the showrunner is god.
Great showrunners produce
great programming. Bad
showrunners produce bad TV.
Terrible showrunners produce
reality TV. If you ever come across
such punks on the street, I urge you
to throw stones at them.
The problem is, when you’re a
fan, they have all the power. They
are the almighty, capable of killing
your favourite characters and
creating the worst, most awkward
relationships the screen has ever
seen. See now, as a fan, this bothers
me. What bothers me more? It’s not
the withdrawals fans experience
when one of their favourite shows
is put on ‘hiatus’ or worse, is
cancelled. It is instead the anxiety
when those same beloved shows
are put back ON.
superman
Ben Tonkin dons a Superman
costume each weekend and
inspires heroism in children
and lusty longings in
their mothers.
‘Superman we love you!’ the kids always scream
when they see the sleek and handsome form
of the bright primary-coloured Superman
bouncing into their party.
What’s not to love? He fights for truth,
justice and the American way. He’s singleminded in his determination to conquer evil.
And, as if that weren’t enough public service,
in his down time he has a career as a mildmannered reporter, no doubt making the world
a better place through his tabloid journalism.
Despite having a broad arsenal of innate
powers that render him practically invincible,
he still has a fatal weakness to kryptonite.
Isn’t it inspirational to know that even a guy
like Superman can be turned into a blubbering
imbecile by a bit of green rock? When going
through a tough time, remember,
Superman understands.
To top it off, Superman is eminently
grope-able. That body hugging lycra suit
with the underpants on the outside; it’s all
just screaming ‘squeeze me’. He’s truly got
something for everyone.
One poignant example is
Community. Season 1? Amazing.
Season 2, also amazing. Season 3,
season 4... where did john
oliver go? Now in the real
world we all know that he went to
The Daily Show to make fun of
Americans. Splendid. But why
wasn’t his absence explained? He
was worlds above any other
character in my opinion and
britta is studying
psychology now. His
character, Ian Duncan, was the
school psychologist. There is
now, for the first time, an actual
reason for his character to be on
the show. We need him back. Any
fan of Community would probably
agree with me that that shit is
unforgivable. I blame the hiatus.
Also, Chevy Chase.
Another example? Arrested
Development. Every time they
come back, something weirder
locking
horns
Batman vs.
Superman
25
happens. I still can’t get over the
Will Arnett/ Mae Whitman love
story. Ew. Also I don’t think I’ll
ever understand the George
Michael/ Maeby Funke cousinly
love story, it was funny in the
beginning but just got creepier
and creepier as the seasons
went on. One praise I will give
the show is that every time
it came back there was more
Tobias Funke, everyone’s
favourite ‘analrapist’/ actor/ Blue
Man Group member. This is the problem with
the fan/showrunner relationship.
What if they completely ruin
something that was so great
to begin with? I now turn my
question to you, Rob Thomas.
Make the Veronica Mars movie
as good as the show will you?
Pretty please?
batman
Every weekend Philip Wilcox
pulls on a Batman mask and
the power goes to his head.
Batman knew it, Genghis Khan knew it,
and children’s party entertainers the world
over know it. Fear works.
In the words of Our Lord and Saviour
Liam Neeson, “To conquer fear you must
become fear”. That’s what I do every weekend.
I become Batman.
Sure, I drive a Honda Civic not a Batmobile,
and no, I’m not a martial arts expert.
I am quite literally an ordinary man in a suit.
But, in a world without superpowers it all comes
down to the suit. Whether it’s fighting for justice
in a mob-riddled Gotham, slaughtering peasants
on the Mongolian steppe or entertaining
30 Ritalin-addicted five year-olds for
an hour and a half: fear is is all we have.
And the Batman suit really is intimidating,
all it takes is one growl and that older brother
thinks twice about pouring cordial on you.
That’s a superpower.
Batman is better.
BRACE YOURSELVES...
SUMMER IS
COMING
NEW LION RANGE // NOW AVAILABLE AT UNIMART
28
bull usu.edu.au
feature
A
A
A GHOST
GHOST
GHOSTSTORY
STORY
STORY
John Rowley gets superstitious
about a certain superstition.
“W
e both saw exactly the same thing. She
was dressed in old-fashioned clothing.
She moved across a doorway in a hotel,
and she seemed to just flash past. We both looked at
each other and said ‘oh, a woman in Victorian dress!’”
Issue 07
feature
29
“A believer would
say ‘I saw a ghost’.
I would say ‘I will
have to check my
mental health’.”
Ghosts have a strange penchant for period
costume, as Rocks Ghost Tours’ Colleen
Harrison would no doubt attest. Chiffon
collars, bowler hats and wooden canes crop up
in stories of hauntings with a regularity that is
arguably more alarming than the presence of
the ghosts themselves.
Harrison is an avowed endorser of ghosts.
“I believe in ghosts because I’ve had several
experiences that have made me believe,” she
says. It makes sense, given her trade. But she is
far from alone. A 1950 Gallup poll conducted
in Britain found that only one in ten believed in
ghosts. Modern studies produce very different
results: this year, a US poll found that 45 per
cent of Americans believe in ghosts, with a
similar rate was identified in a 2009 UK survey.
Australians are only slightly more sceptical.
A 2009 survey conducted by The Skeptic
magazine polled Queenslanders – make of
that what you will – and 35.9 per cent of
respondents self-identified as either “believing”
or “strongly believing” that “ghosts or spirits
of dead people can come back in certain places
and situations”. Tim Mendham, the editor of
The Skeptic, calls the result “a worry”.
A worry they may be, but these beliefs have
provided Colleen Harrison with a livelihood for
a decade. Along with a half-dozen other Ghost
Hosts, Colleen conducts regular two-hour tours,
dividing the Rocks into the ‘Dark South’ and
the ‘Dark North’. Her tours focus on what she
calls the “cobblestone lanes” of the “birthplace
of Australia”, weeding in and out of one-time
brothels, bars and hospitals.
Tim Mendham, who in addition to editing
The Skeptic is also the executive officer of
non-profit organisation Australian Skeptics, calls
these tours “amusing”. “Do it as entertainment,
but don’t necessarily think it’s going to be real,”
he advises.
Mendham’s advice appears to be the modus
operandi for most attendees when I participate
in a ‘Dark South’ tour. Giggles are muffled
throughout, and even Maxine, our Ghost Host
– dressed head to toe in black - seems to take a
nudge-nudge-wink-wink approach. Perhaps the
Ghost Hosts shift their approach based on the
vibe each audience gives off – it’s difficult to tell.
We meet at Cadman’s Cottage, where the
huffing and puffing of hundreds of neonclad joggers undoes any atmosphere that the
cold, wind and darkness could otherwise have
produced. Maxine begins with the disclaimer
that “you mightn’t feel any spirits yourself”. She
is also emphatic that most ghostly encounters
happen “when you least expect it”. Probably
not on a ghost tour, then. With this removal
of guarantees, the burden of proof seems to
move from Maxine – the claimant – to the tour
attendees.
Mendham disagrees with this allocation of
responsibility. His mantra, when it comes to the
variety of paranormal, supernatural and pseudoscientific phenomena that Australian Skeptics
investigates, is “the person who claims it has to
prove it”. “The more outrageous the claim,”
he says, “the better the evidence has to be”.
Mendham tells me that Australian Skeptics are
regularly called upon to test claims of hauntings,
but that there’s little they can do. “It’s rather
hard to disprove when you’re not there”.
Luckily, our group is indeed present in
the heart of colonial ghost territory. Following
Maxine’s greeting, our collective – composed of
three locals, three Melbournites and a visiting
couple from Adelaide – wander up towards
Argyle Street. I get chatting to one of the
Melbourne trio, who confesses that she’s taking
the tour upon recommendation of a family
member, who described it as “pretty lame, but
a laugh”.
Despite our unified front of humour,
questions are still asked, and curiosity is
piqued. The couple from Adelaide seem to
take the tour more seriously than the rest of
us, asking questions about personal visitations
and constantly photographing the ‘haunted’
sites we stop at. When I ask Rohan* about the
apparent interest held by himself and his wife,
he immediately downplays it, saying that he sees
ghost tours as a chance to get a left-of-centre
sense of history. He then reveals that this is his
fourth ghost tour, having previously attended
two in Adelaide and one in Venice.
The keenness with which Rohan
distances himself from supernatural beliefs
is fairly common. Dr. Niko Tiliopoulos
is a Senior Lecurer in Psychology at the
University of Sydney, and says that through
his parapsychological studies he’s “witnessed
people both playing down their beliefs and
exaggerating them, depending on how they
perceive me”. It’s possible that because of my
poorly-hidden scepticism, Rohan felt worried
about how I’d view his inquisitiveness.
According to Tiliopoulos, some individuals
are pre-disposed towards belief in ghosts and
other phenomena of their ilk, asserting that
“you don’t have to be crazy”. Tiliopoulos cites
imagination, openness to experience, and
creativity as traits more likely to be found in
believers than sceptics. However, he also says
that “a more sinister link has been speculated
30
bull usu.edu.au
feature
between such beliefs and schizophreniaproneness”.
Schizophrenia-proneness, or schizotypy,
isn’t necessarily as worrying as it sounds.
Tiliopoulos says that individuals with schizotypy
“might be very functional”. “They have found
meaning in those beliefs. They use them to
enhance their lives [and] make them happier”.
As well as happiness, hauntings can
also provoke less pleasant reactions. Colleen
Harrison and Maxine both describe their
ghostly encounters as producing feelings of
light-headedness and nausea. Another telltale sign, Maxine says, are “odours of flowers,
perfumes and tobaccos” in places one wouldn’t
expect them.
Mendham poo-poos these symptoms.
“You’re seeing or hearing things that you can’t
explain,” he says. “The temptation there is to try
and use something to explain it”. “If you work
on probability versus possibility, you’ve got to
think about probability. Everything’s possible –
some things are less probable”.
Harrison asserts that resolute non-believers
are closing themselves off to what could be
out there in the ether. She advises me before I
attend Maxine’s tour that “if you do something
without expectation, you will often be surprised
at what happens”.
I struggle to overcome my
preconceptions, but others on the tour
have more success. The woman
from Melbourne who came for
laughs feels sick when we enter
the Signal Master’s cottage
on Observatory Hill, and
is inexplicably drawn to a
window through which the
Signal Master would stare
for hours on end. Spooky.
After descending from
the freezing heights of
Observatory Hill, the tour
winds up in the dusty basement
of the Hero of Waterloo Hotel. I
briefly mistake spots of red wine
on the floorboard undersides above
us for blood, and Maxine emits a highpitched shout when one of the tour attendees
trips over a stool. Apart from that, it’s quite
staid. As I leave, I remember Tim Mendham’s
admission that “it’s all in the eye of the
beholder”. I’ve failed to take Harrison’s advice
to keep an open mind, and maybe this has held
me back from sensing anything.
Despite their opposing core beliefs,
Mendham and Harrison share ideas regarding
what’s facilitated the rise of belief in ghosts.
“A lot of it,” says Mendham, “is to do with
the lessened influence of religion”. Harrison
agrees, theorising that “with the Church
having less followers, maybe people are more
open to different things”. She says that she’s
even noticed a gradual increase in the number
of Christian schools booking tours for their
students.
Dr. Tiliopoulos agrees with the theories
posited by Mendham and Harrison, also
This
year, a U.S
poll found
that 45 per cent
of Americans
believe in
ghosts
noting that
‘new-age’ strains
of belief systems
like paganism and
druidism are contributing.
“If we assume that there is a
trend in the West towards these
peripheral, cultic kind of beliefs, it’s not a large
step to go from that to believing in ghosts, and
then connecting the increase with that,” he says.
In addition to changes in the religious
landscape, Tim Mendham also stresses that
popular films can play an important role in
opening people up to supernatural possibilities.
“After The Exorcist came out, there was a huge
increase in people who were ‘possessed’.
When Amityville Horror came out, you got
‘haunted houses’ a lot more. Those things have
a major impact”.
Believers, Mendham says, see sceptics as
party poopers, lacking faith and imagination
and producing a bleak view of the world. He
sees this vision as false. “I look out at the world,
and I think – fantastic! A lot of interesting things
to find out. I’ll never know everything there is
to find out. That doesn’t mean I have to believe
things that are not proven”.
If Mendham is a self-identified sceptic,
then Tiliopoulos isn’t quite as sure where he
stands. “I’ve had ghosts walk through me
and I was perfectly awake. It was a person
that looked as real as you until they stood
up and walked through me,” he claims.
However, Tiliopoulos is quick to note
that “seeing something is not evidence of its
existence”. Until scientific evidence verifies
the presence of ghosts – a prospect that he
finds “very exciting” – Tiliopoulos remains
unconvinced by his own experiences. “A
believer would say ‘I saw a ghost’. ‘I would
say I will have to check my mental health’.”
Colleen Harrison is as unapologetic as
Mendham about her beliefs. “I wouldn’t try
and convince you,” she says, when I ask her
about protestations and naysayers. “I would
tell you my experience, and you might take it
or leave it. It’s immaterial to me whether you
do. To the person experiencing it, it is real”.
*Name has been changed
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feature
How USYD
Unfriended
Prejudice
Nicola Alroe takes a look at Spotted: USYD and USYD Confessions.
T
he only way to counter prejudice, ignorance
and hatred is to foster rational and informed
dialogue between people. Enter Facebook.
Issue 07 33
FEATURE
“There was derision for the girl who
looked ‘so dirty’ in shorts that one
selfless male offered to give her a can of
Glen 20 to clean up after herself as she
walked around campus.”
Admittedly, this doesn’t seem like an intuitive
pairing. Especially when one recalls some of
the more offensive Facebook communities
to emerge in recent years: such examples as
‘killing your prostitute so you don’t have to pay
her’ spring to mind. Certainly, the semblance
of security that comes through anonymity and
separation from other users has emboldened
hatred. These are the illusions that have fooled
trolls, racists and misogynists into believing
that they can spout bile all over the Internet. It
was in this volatile environment that a fad was
born. In quick succession there were Facebook
pages for USYD love letters, random acts of
kindness, stalkerspace, sneaky photos, problems
and compliments. Prominent amongst all of
these sites these were USYD Confessions and
Spotted: USYD. Generally vain and voyeuristic,
these sites ere something like the unwanted
literary offspring of 1984 and Gossip Girl. One
of the earliest posts on Spotted reads:
I feel that ever since Spotted: USYD
started… all the smallest actions of kindness
are being recognized and appreciated! The
University of Sydney is a great family and
I’m proud to be a part of it :)
I spent some time trawling through these
pages in an effort to find these celebrated acts
of kindness. I failed. What I did find was that
the bulk of materials on these sites is juvenile,
yet harmless fluff. It is apparent that usydians
have a novelty backpack fetish, and are seriously
territorial where sanctity of the library is
concerned. A lot of people seem to be missing
shoes.
Some of it is more confronting. The subjects
of more controversial posts tend to be women
or international students. There was a homily for
the “spastic” girl walking down eastern avenue
who had what may euphemistically be termed
a Marilyn Monroe moment on a windy day.
This sat alongside a directive for the women of
campus to wear more attractive underwear for
the benefit of the male student population.
If you are going to wear pants that
ride low enough to show the tops of your
underwear (and there are a lot of you),
at least wear nice underwear! I’ve seen way
too many holey old granny pants lately
and it’s disturbing.
There was praise for the girl walking up the
stairs to the sci-tech library in “deliciously” short
shorts. More distressingly, there was derision for
the girl who looked “so dirty” in shorts that one
selfless male offered to give her a can of Glen 20
to clean up after herself as she walked around
campus.
Each of these contributions to the USYD
‘family’ was dated, timed, and accompanied
by identifying features of the subject. What
a heartening way for these people to be
memorialised in university history.
Perhaps those who founded these sites
probably did so without any ill intent. It was all
just about having a laugh. But what might have
started as a joke quickly degenerated. As long
as intolerance is passed off as comedy, equality
does not stand a chance. Which is pretty much
what students, male and female, had to say in
response to these antisocial outbursts. The pages
may not be a cause for celebration, but not are
they a cause for despair.
In this example of a joke gone wrong,
students responded passionately to attempts to
slut-shame their own beloved library.
The following post elicited general outcry:
The library is like a dirty slut. Nobody
wants to go inside, but inevitably everyone
does. Once you go in, you end up staying
there all night long, and you know everyone
else has done exactly the same thing.
And yet you still keep on coming back,
again and again.
Protesters were tersely told to calm the
fuck down. They were told that they were being
unreasonable, and that they were feminazis. The
accused feminazis politely refused to back down.
In another instance, one man decided to air
his grievances with the female sex, writing:
This is why most guys won’t talk to
women straight out.You lie through your
teeth to us and reject us based on nothing…
and we are the ones who are missing out.
As one of my friends very eloquently put it,
this gentleman needs to call the wah-mbulance.
Students penned thousands of words in reply.
While they quickly concluded that this kind of
sentiment was unacceptable, discussion of how
misogynistic views were acquired, perpetuated
and remedied ran to great length. The criticisms
34 bull usu.edu.au
feature
These are the illusions that have
fooled trolls, racists and misogynists
into believing that they can spout bile
all over the Internet.
flowing from other users weren’t necessarily
couched in overt, feminist positions. It was
encouraging that most commentators were
of the view that respect should be the natural,
common sense approach.
Posts in which the subject is male rarely
contain these aggressive, sexual themes.
The ‘gaze’, then, is one that is male and
heteronormative. Furthermore, the perspective
seems to be that of a white person. Many posts
communicate a passive hostility and resentment
toward international students. Sometimes this
manifests as unnecessary derision. Most often,
they play to racial stereotypes about Asians as
peculiarly studious:
“This guy mid lecture pulls out all these
books out of his bag # wtf Studying level:
Asian”.
When a person does something that
contravenes standards of acceptability, other
people tell them cut it out. Sometimes, they
say this employing more colourful language.
Ultimately, it can be the most outrageous
episodes of public idiocy that provoke
passionate responses and provoke change.
By way of illustration, Alan Jones did a great
deal to benefit feminism when he opined that
women were “destroying the joint” and inspired
Jane Caro to create the now infamous hashtag.
Similarly, a 13 year-old girl calling Adam
Goodes an ‘ape’ prompted an overhaul of the
way young Victorians are taught about racism
and social inclusion at school.
As with all other forms of technology, social
media does little more than mirror the society
that it serves. What it reveals can be damning,
heartening and curious in turn. When human
egotism and insecurity are combined with idiotcompatible-software, the results can be terrifying.
Spotted:USYD continues to grace
our facebook newsfeeds. However, the
administrators have imposed such rigorous
self-censorship that Spotted’s postings are
now confined to only the most trivial of
matters. Creepy gingerbread faces and candy
crush commentary abound. Unfortunately
(or fortunately), USYD Confessions died a
quiet and gracious death mid April. In many
instances, the most egregiously offensive or
controversial postings have now been removed
from both pages.
I was initially dismissive of the idea that social
media could be a space for the renegotiation of
prejudices. I was wrong. Students are staring
down misogyny, ignorance and hatred. They’re
giving time and consideration to how we should
define these evils, and how to combat them.
They’re using their collective voices and peer
pressure to challenge intolerance. It might be
tempting to dismiss that this has any significance.
After all, the substantive effect is impossible
to quantify. There is also no guarantee that
people will take positive action in response to
instances of misogyny and racism in their daily
lives. But surely any conversation about these
issues is capable of influencing others through
education. More fundamentally, it evinces that a
broad section of the university population, and
of broader society condemn discrimination and
espouse these egalitarian ideals. The issue is not
whether social media cultivates hatred. The true
question is how misogyny and racism are able to
prevail in contemporary Australia. From where
do these worldviews spring, and what is the best
way to supplant them. Social media is not the
problem. We are.
Issue 07
FASHION
I
t’s approaching
the time when
you’re getting
your finances
together to sort
out your summer
holidays. One
of the biggest
considerations
besides passports,
visas and magnetresistant money
belts is how to make
sure all your poor
(or unavoidably
employed) friends
back home are able
to see every inch of
your holiday outfits
documented in
minute and precise
detail.
This month, BULL caught up
with Daniel Farinha, serial
globetrotter and third year Bachelor
of Economics & Business student
at Sydney University. Here,
Daniel shows us how to use a few
simple items to optimise your
chances of snagging the perfect
profile pic. His biggest tip?
“Don’t be a fucking chump.
Who stands in front of the Eiffel
tower with a hair-restrictive beanie
and a pink nose.” His second
biggest tip? “You have Google and
Lonely Planet. Plan ahead. Colour
palettes aren’t just for Vogue editors
or interior designers. Look at the
city, then look at your suitcase.
It’s not rocket science.”
35
Travelling in style
DANIEL FARINHA shows us how to match your
hair and jacket to your scenic background.
FRANCE
PARIS
UNITED STATES OF AMERICA
NEW YORK
VIENNA
Shirt: Robby Ingham
Jacket:Yves Saint Laurent
Hair: Label M/totally crucial.
Scarf: H&M
Jacket: Vintage
Hair: Natural sea spray. Haha no,
pressurised sea salt spray from
Toni & Guy.
Sweater: Polo Ralph Lauren
Jacket:Yves Saint Laurent
Jeans: Lee
Hair: Classic comb, don’t
underrate it
This is all about the plan-ahead.
By correctly identifying that the
ocean is sort of blueish even in
the U.S., I nail it by picking up an
H&M scarf en route in a similar
hue. If you’re travelling with friends
just claim “warmth”, but make
sure you carry a colour swatch
to the store otherwise you’ll clash,
and that’s that cover photo down
the drain.
Okay, so now we’ve moved to
Vienna, which is all about the
structural details in the architecture.
Match that with your outfit and
you’re set. Notice the detail of the
wide lapel and the genius stroke
of the maroon cuff-peek that hits
the notes in the slate roof. Add
an ironic pose so it all looks like
an accident and slam-dunk, my
holiday is better than yours.
This is a case study in the
importance of the hair. Using a bit
of pre-set gel to create a windswept,
tousled look meant I knew by
the time we got to the vantage
point I’d have nailed the intrepid
look without actually, you know,
looking intrepid.
This shot is all about classic
contrast. The sleety tones of Paris
winter meant a black jacket was
the go, not a charcoal one that
would have made me look like a
statue. The classic single-breast
cut means I’m more French than
real Parisians.
AUSTRIA
36
bull usu.edu.au
HEALTH
health
7 Exercises That
Can Feasibly Be
Done Hungover
Tash Gillezeau and Alistair Johnston work
out (how they ended up in a pool of their
own bodily fluids).
E
ver had such a big night out that you
wake the following morning in a hotel
room naked with a girl, thousands of dollars’
worth of empty alcohol bottles, a baby in the closet
and a tiger in the bathroom? Neither. That was
The Hangover.r
I’ve never had a night that massive, but
I’ve come close.You know when you buy a
four-pack of watermelon Cruisers, pump
out some Jamiroquai and really let your hair
down? Those evenings when you go so hard,
you pray to every known deity – and a couple
more you made up for a Year 7 Religion
project – that you won’t wake up on the train
tracks, lying next to your brother? You know.
Unfortunately, because God is a cockhead,
chances are that you will wake up on the train
tracks spooning your cousin. Although running
from trains and a lawsuit founded on incest
might not be your chosen start to Sunday
morning, exercising hungover isn’t necessarily
always a bad thing. In fact, it can even be a
good thing.
Here are seven exercises you can do to
work off the cals Drunk You selfishly inhaled
at Pie Face at 3am.
1. Planking.
In a gutter. Face down. In vomit. Preferably not
someone else’s.
Personal Trainer’s Tip: Avoid clenching your
abs too hard.You might piss yourself.
2. Avoid Sit-ups.
You’re not ready. Try sit-downs. In fact, any sort
of down is preferable: Pull-downs, come-downs,
calm-down.
3. Playing tee-ball.
On one hand, tee-ball relies upon having a mitt,
a baseball bat, four plates, a tee and a baseball
pitch. On the other hand, tee-ball meshes well
with hangovers because it requires next to no
hand eye co-ordination, or really any vision at all.
Just close your eyes and swipe. Unless there are
people around. If this is the case then maybe
keep them open. Apparently that’s ‘assault’.
4. Swimming.
I’ll never forget my first swimming class.
My orthopedic shoe got caught on the starting
blocks and I knocked out the instructor with my
noodle. All the other kids in my class laughed
at me, but what would they know? They’re only
seven. Really ruined last Tuesday for me.
Swimming is the ‘Nurofen-of-the-sea’
when it comes to hangovers. Nothing beats the
sensation of cold water cleansing your forehead
of the ethanol-sweat residue that has formed after
your night of heavy drinking.
FYI: As ‘swimming’ is a verb, and verbs are
doing words, it by default counts as exercise.
5. Eating.
Apply aforementioned logic.
See also: drinking.
Drinking is essential.
No, not that sort of beverage.Your liver
deserves some respite, however brief. Let’s aim
for something more wholesome. I find a large
flat white to be the best thing to ease oneself out
of a hangover. The warmth emanating through
your digestive tract tells the rest of your body
that things, in time, will be alright. Also, the
size of said flat white makes the whole ‘exercise’
thing more valid. It’s lifting, okay?
6. Running the City to Surf.
I’m prepared to advise that the City to Surf
should only be run hungover. Running 14km
straight off the back of eight hours’ sleep in
your fresh fluoro Nike Frees is not an inspiring
act of charity. Running 14km after a night of
goon laybacks in nothing but last night’s chinos
and a traffic cone worn as a whimsical hat?
Truly selfless.
7. Squat.
Just the one though.
From the second you group-messaged
your 15 closest mates “Head to the X”, the night
was guaranteed to get loose. Four hours later:
you’re being kicked out onto the sidewalk faster
than you can say just about fucking anything.
True, screaming “show us ya tits!” at the bouncer
may have been a tactical error, but now you’ve
convinced a few acquaintances that you’re
super fun and awesome which, should result in
a) roots and b) more followers on Instagram.
Waking up in a coma and blinded by any
and every light source, exercise can be a tough
next step. However, it is necessary in order to
maintain your would-bang/10 physique, so knock
back three Nespressos and get out there!
Issue 07
science & tech
science & Tech
Facebook Felons
Social media sites are being used to catch the criminal element writes
Theresa Gaven.
I
n a bizarre twist on the
classic superhero story,
the latest crime-fighting
hero doesn’t wear a cape, or
have a weedy sidekick. The
king of crime-catchers in the
information age is, believe it
or not, Facebook.
Google “use of social network websites in
investigations” and Wikipedia will produce an
extensive, tragi-comic list of crimes in which social
networking sites, particularly Facebook, have been
used to put people behind bars.
Many of these involve people – absurdly –
posting photos of themselves mid-crime, or sending
messages to friends in which they confess to crimes
or threaten to commit more of them. The Wikipedia
list details incidents, which range from underage
college students being suspended after photos of
them drinking at a party were posted online, to
photos of riots leading to convictions for disturbing
the peace and assault, to Facebook statuses
being used as key pieces of evidence that lead to
murder convictions.
One has to wonder what is going on here.
Has the bizarre moment of social media-induced
over-sharing that we are currently living in, messed
with people’s minds to the point that posting
pictures of their life and crimes trumps caution
about their liberty?
Many people might be sharing their criminal
activity online because they are laboring under
the delusion that information shared online with
friends is private. But as Danah Boyd points out in
her article ‘Facebook’s Privacy Trainwreck’, social
media drastically changes the way we should think
about public and private information. Posting on
MySpace or Facebook might seem like private
communication, but in reality, she argues, it is like
living through a megaphone – your thoughts, plans
and, now, crimes are broadcast to the world.
And, of course, can be accessed by police.
A 2011 European study found that more than
90 per cent of survey respondents didn’t know
that social media websites have to give personal
data to police if asked for it.
Such misunderstandings about online privacy
got alleged Bronx gang member, Melvin Colon,
in trouble last year. Police investigating Colon
didn’t have enough evidence for a warrant to
access his Facebook account, and Colon, being
a savvy man, had set any incriminating Facebook
posts so they could only be seen by ‘friends’ not
by the public. However, investigators were able to
get some of his Facebook friends to cooperate and
allow them access to his page, which contained
threats, posts about violent acts, and attempts to
maintain the loyalty of alleged members of his gang,
enough evidence for a warrant and to continue the
investigation into him.
While Facebook has proved a weapon in the
fight against evil it has also played a part in fights
that are less savoury. Lawyers are using Facebook
as a way of attempting to disprove insurance
claims or refuse payment to someone suing a
company. For example, in 2007, a racecar driver,
Bill McMillen, sued the Hummingbird Speedway
in Pennsylvania after an injury sustained on
their track. His claims that the injury killed his
“enjoyment of life” were called into question after
a judge granted the Speedway’s lawyers access
to McMillen’s Facebook account which featured
photos of him happy and out on fishing trips
after the accident – allegedly not the actions of a
shattered man.
In Australia, Facebook is also increasingly
used as evidence in family court proceedings.
The Advertiser reported that in 2012, Facebook
printouts were used in one in five family court
proceedings, most especially in custody battles as
a form of character record, as spouses attempt to
discredit one another.
And criminals themselves are beginning to
fight back via the social media sites that have, for
the last few years, cause the downfall of some.
In July, Australian senior police warned officers
that some criminals, including members of bikie
gangs, are using Facebook to befriend and then
gain information about police officers. The geotagging function of some social media websites has
apparently made police particularly vulnerable.
Whether criminal, civil litigant, or cop, the
danger people expose themselves to online is yet
another example of people being caught out by
a misunderstood and underestimated socially
networked world.
Ctrl
Alt
Del
The Alot
‘A lot’ is a commonly misspelt word that
many English Lit students and Grammar
Nazis get riled up about. In 2010, Allie
Brosh from the wunder-blog Hyperbole
and a Half (check it out if you’ve been
living under a rock) created ‘The Alot’, a
fictional monster as a tongue-in-cheek
way of educating the citizens of the
internet about the commonly misspelt
word. As of a month ago, ‘The Alot’ is
now confirmed by Know Your Meme as
a legit Internet sensation. LEGIT.
Origins:
In 2010, Allie Brosh expressed in a
post titled ‘The Alot is Better Than You
at Everything’ her “compulsive need to
correct other people’s grammar”. Thus
came the creation of ‘The Alot’, which
looks like a cross between a bear, a yak
and a pug, that has “provided her hours
of entertainment” rather than leaving her
feeling pissed off at the world’s shit effort
at knowing basic grammar skills. The
Internet went crazy for ‘The Alot’, and
popular magazine, BoingBoing, declared
it as a newly coined slang term.
37
USU Blue &
Honorary Life
Membership
Awards
A USU Blue is a prestigious award presented to a limited number of
members in acknowledgement of their exceptional and enthusiastic
contribution to the USU.
Have you or somebody you know made an outstanding contribution to student life?
If you are a current member you can nominate yourself or any other member for a
USU Blue.
University staff and non-members are also encouraged to nominate current
USU members for a USU Blue.
Honorary Life Membership is the highest award given to an alumnus
or friend of the University of Sydney Union.
If you know of a long-term friend of the USU who deserves recognition for their
contribution, consider nominating them for Honorary Life Membership.
Nomination forms can be downloaded at: usu.edu.au/Get-Involved/Grants-and-Comps/USU-Blues-HonoraryLife-Membership.aspx
Nominations close 20 September 2013 and recipients will be announced at the USU Annual Dinner on 28 November.
For more information
Email [email protected] or call 9563 6000
Issue 07 39
my week without
Caffeine
Jessica Budge puts down her early morning pick-me-up. M
y caffeine addiction began at the vulnerable age
of 15 when I tried the foreign “mocha” that
everyone seemed to love. From the first sip I was
hooked. What kind of sorcery was this? A new version of
myself emerged, the Jess with boundless energy who talked
a million miles an hour. I was running around school like
an animal let loose from its cage.
Three years on I’m heavily dependent on the stimulant that gives me a kick. I have spent a calculated total of $4380 on coffee. Not to mention tea.
Not without ever starting on chocolate. A week without caffeine? It’ll be a
tough one, I thought to myself. How very right I was.
Day 1: Destined to Fail
I’m staggering down Macquarie Street at 7am
looking like an extra from The Walking Dead.
I decide to avoid my regular coffee stop at BonBon particularly because my six-times stamped
card means I’m due for a freebie. If I’m even
within a kilometre of the café the temptation will
be too strong.
The day passes in a blur and I am desperate
for a fix. A lecturer yells at me for nodding off
in class and my friends are seriously concerned
about my emotional wellbeing. I groan as
if I’d just been woken from an eight-month
hibernation and a brutal migraine makes my
skull feel as if it is in a vice. Withdrawal sucks.
Ineedacoffeenowgoddamnit. I make the huge
mistake of buying the hipsteresque magazine
Frankie and I’m greeted by Campos Coffee ads
on every second page. Meanwhile, my parents
are taking extensive delight in my pain, mocking
me with comments like “Go out and make a
cup of tea for us… And bring us the Tim Tams
while you’re at it”. If my mum hadn’t endured
eight hours of labour, I would’ve disowned my
parents right there and then.
day 3:Temptation Sets In
Has it only been three days? If I see one more
George Clooney Nespresso ad, I’m going to
put my foot through the TV. It’s almost as if the
universe is mocking me. Special thanks to Coles
for letting me know Cadbury’s Marvellous
Creations are on special this week. Thank you
Sydney billboards for informing me that if I
text the code on the inside of a Coca Cola bottle
I go into the draw to win $10,000, and yes,
I do understand the calming effects of Dilmah
tea. And did you hear about the new caffeine
perfume coming out?
Walking fondly past Bon-Bon I’m drawn
to its sweet aroma. What a lovely little shop. So
comforting… So inviting… The barista waves
a hand to greet me, “The usual?” I shake my
head and he gives me a look of half heartbreak,
half as if I’ve legitimately gone insane. Guilt sets
in. Admittedly however, the day passes without
jittery, coffee-induced fingers. My breath doesn’t
smell like a dead animal and I’m not chewing
ten packets of gum to rid me of the aftertaste.
Day Five: Coming to Terms with
my Addiction
The past five days were rough. My social skills
steeply declined. I was constantly craving any
sort of hit that I eventually succumbed to
drinking Milo. During this experiment I actually
realised how addicted to caffeine I was, and how
much I depended on it to get me through the
day. On the bright side, I saved $21 that week.
But will I continue the detox? There’s no way I’ll
end our relationship just yet, coffee, but maybe
we should go on a break. It’s definitely me, not
you, that’s at fault here. Now to eat unhealthy
amounts of Ferrero Rochers and consume too
much mint tea in my Bold and the Beautiful
(did I just admit that?) mug. Adios, coffee
drinkers of the land.
My week without
40
bull usu.edu.au
reviews
REVIEWS
FILM
KICK ASS 2
JEFF WADLOW
film
ELYSIUM
Neill Blomkamp
THEATRE
Persona
Belvoir St Theatre
Chloe Grace Moretz shines as Hit
Girl, convincingly pulling off the
extreme attitude possessed by the
petite superhero. Her portrayal is
particularly skillful when navigating
through the typical teenage social
dilemmas Hit Girl has to endure,
all the while trying to continue
the legacy of her dead superhero
dad. On the flipside, Jim Carrey’s
appearance as Colonel Stars and
Stripes doesn’t exactly detract
from the film, but it doesn’t add
anything either – the mark of an
unsuccessful cameo.
Scenes of extreme violence
punctuate the film, but clumsy
script-writing fails to disguise the
violence as satire, and it comes off
as gratuitous.
This film just feels tired. It
lacks the energy found in the
original Kick Ass and fails to
include the inspiring sense of ‘what
if?’ that inspired Kick Ass to don
his hero suit in the first place.
In 2154, Earth has been
overpopulated, polluted, and
abandoned in a state of ruin by its
most wealthy citizens. These citizens
now reside on Elysium – an idyllic
space station just beyond Earth’s
atmosphere – blissfully ignorant
of the smuggling vessels full of
desperate Earth residents regularly
being shot down just above them.
While the premise is excellent, and
will successfully touch a guilty nerve in
most of its first-world viewers, it’s not
quite the emotional knockout director
Neill Blomkamp had hoped it would
be. Its poignant social commentary
and excellent action sequences are
cloyed by a contrived, unconvincing
romance plot.
Matt Damon does well in fairly
comfortable, Bourne-esque territory as
the everyman hero, and Sharlto Copley
gives a truly scary performance as the
psychopathic villain, Agent Kluger.
Jodie Foster, appearing here in her
final-ever film role, is unfortunately
pretty average as Elysium’s ruthless
defence secretary.
Belvoir St Theatre pride themselves
on presenting plays that challenge
the boundaries. Their new piece,
Persona, embodies this ideal,
adapting Ingmar Bergman’s
curious yet monumental 1966
film of minimalism and a lack
of answers.
Portraying a woman who
falls silent, and one who talks too
much, actors Meredith Penman
and Karen Sibbing personify two
explosive ends of an emotional
spectrum, in the cool simplicity of
Sweden. In many ways, this piece
is an anathema to the human spirit.
Its charm is apparent in the way
that no one really gets it, yet deep
down everyone knows.
Persona highlights the walk off
the plank when we reach out for
intimacy, comfort, communication,
and feel nothing in return. Despite
this sounding a rather depressing
concept, it is refreshing and indeed
comforting to see. This is a piece of
theatre that will challenge everyone
in the best kind of way.
Georgia Behrens
****
Sarah McPherson
** **
*** *
SHOULDA
BEEN THERE
Berkelouw Books
NEWTOWN
In what is perhaps the greatest tragedy
of 2013, the adored Berkelouw
Books Newtown shut its doors in early
September. This store, situated just off
King Street, was the perfect combination
of old and new, of books and food, of
family-friendly and hipster enclave.
The downstairs section presented
the casual visitor with a delicious
combination of ramen noodles, a
Sophie Gallagher
selection of new books and the various
odds and ends that tend to inexplicably
fit Newtown bookstores, such as fancy
Keep Cups.
If you took the stairs upwards, past a wall
covered with colourful community notices,
you were presented with shelf upon shelf
of delightfully dusty second-hand books –
truly the vague browsers paradise.
The upstairs area also boasted a café
FILM
Greetings from
Tim Buckley
Daniel Algrant
Greetings from Tim Buckley
examines the preparation of a
young Jeff Buckley for a 1991
performance to commemorate
the life of his father Tim. The
film’s alternates between flashbacks to the final musical tour of
Tim Buckley before his untimely
passing, and a young Jeff, on the
cusp of stardom, dealing with the
memory of his father’s neglect.
The film does well not to
idealise the relationship between
Jeff and Tim. Tim Buckley’s
infidelity, drug consumption and
absence from his son’s life are
not presented as the romanticised
prerequisites of a rock-and-roll
reputation, but as the source of
Jeff’s unease with his father and
himself.
The ambling romance between
Jeff (played by Penn Badgley) and
Allie (Imogen Poots) provides
reprieve from the father-son
angst. It develops the endearing
qualities of Jeff whilst exposing
us to glimpses of his impressive
musical talent.
Michael Rees
*** *
with great coffee, good food, and a
fantastically long table stretching down
the middle of the space, perfect for
mother’s groups, writing classes and
study sessions.
It’s a loss for booklovers and Newtown
alike. Here’s hoping you got a chance to
browse and drink coffee at this sublime
location before it shut its doors.
LANE SAINTY
Issue 07
REVIEWS
FILM
Only God Forgives
Nicolas Winding Refn
SPOILER
ALERT
Only God Forgives opens with Billy (Tom Burke) staggering around
Bangkok, in his words, “looking for a 14 year-old to fuck”. He is killed
shortly after: his head is made part of a metal bedframe by a vengeful
father. When Billy’s mother, crime boss Crystal (Kristen Scott Thomas)
learns of his death, she travels to Hong Kong, and demands that her
other son, Julian (Ryan Gosling) avenge his brother’s death. He protests.
“Mother, Billy raped and killed a 16 year-old girl.” Crystal bares pauses
to register this information about the circumstances of her son’s death.
“I’m sure he had his reasons.”
At the LA Film Festival earlier this year, Nicolas Refn, the director
of Only God Forgives, was asked about the violence and sexuality that are
a constant theme in his films, about the darkness and sickness that spring
from his imagination. He responded, “I’m a pornographer and I make
films about what excites me.”
The film’s plot pivots on the conflict between Julian, torn as his mother
urges him to “raise hell” in Bangkok, and the local police chief Chang
(Vithaya Pansringarm), a moral absolutist, whose sense of justice is tied to
violent amputations, seeking to crush the gangs that cripple his city.
The sadism of the previous Refn-Gosling film, Drive, is certainly
matched in Only God Forgives. Violence is again meted out with disregard
by the characters and then stylised, even romanticised, by the producers.
Its value was more direct, obvious, intuitive in Drive – as a means of
survival. In Only God Forgives, death and torture are tinged with ideas
of honour and dessert; violence is linked to the restoration of order and
societal cleansing.
The real power of the film – what elevates it above just being a violent,
pretentious circle-jerk of an art-house film – is the way it approaches
family and motherhood. Crystal is cast as a matriarch, who bludgeons her
sons into submission, and as having extraordinary sexual power, which she
acknowledges with bombast. Upon meeting Julian’s lover, Crystal mocks
Julian’s weakness and his inferiority. She says he was always jealous of
his brother Billy and Billy’s “enormous cock”. In the final, very arresting
moments of the film, Julian finds Crystal lying dead in a penthouse hotel
room and emotionlessly, he cuts her stomach open and reaches his hand
inside her womb.Yearning for a connection that never existed properly.
Be quite sure: Only God Forgives is more than just Ryan Gosling
soft porn.
Felix Donovan
*** *
classic countdown
The Best Pens
Georgia Kriz finds out the right way to write.
5
Office Zone
The soft rubber grip carries this
pen into the top five; it is positively
luxurious. Both the ink flow and
intensity of colour, however, are decidedly
lacklustre – I would really love to see a richer
blue and markedly smoother ink run.
4
Papermate Kilometrico
The workhorse of the pen world,
this baby just doesn’t give up. It’s
your trusty sidekick through the
daily writing grind – just don’t whip it out
to impress. All function, no frills.
3
Artline 200 (Fine 0.4)
Ooooooo fancy! This pen is the
wanker of the stationary world –
use it to doodle during Philosophy
classes, dismantle the patriarchy in a
Gender Studies exam, or edit your piece
for tomorrow night’s poetry slam. Revel in
the intensity of the ink and the silky ride of
the nib.
2
BIC Round Stic Med/Moy
This pen’s sturdy, rotund form
gives you plenty to hold on to
without erring on the side of
cumbersome. Enjoy the reliable ink flow
and the extra-long tip – greater leverage
decreases the stress on the wrist.
1
BIC Classic Fine
The fine tip allows for greater finesse
and detail, while the lightweight
body makes fast writing a dream.
The metal-reinforced tip lends a certain
otherness, an air of je ne sais quoi, to an
otherwise standard construction. It’s not
overly flashy, but by god is it a classic – a
must-have addition to any study session.
41
42
bull usu.edu.au
caught on campus
the man being the man
take that!
usu’s CEO prepares to go up against
the man mundine
free pony rides for everyone!
HUMANITARIAN WEEK 2013
T
his year’s Humanitarian Week had a lot of surprises
including a petting zoo, a visit from Anthony (The Man)
Mundine and an inflatable maze which required you to
wear vision-impairing glasses and feel your way out. Taking over
most of Eastern Ave and other parts of the main campus from
13-15 August, our Humanitarian Week student directors did an
amazing job building awareness about human aid and welfare.
make your mark!
caught
on campus
IMAGES TAKEN BY YOUNGTAE KIM
is that a plane? no, its a giant squirrel
kindergartern eat
your heart out!
my fairy floss! no, my fairy floss give it!
must be free food
caring
You can get involved in USU student leadership roles too and there’s still
some available to apply for in September and October. Visit usu.edu.au.
Issue 07
club hub
Clubs to
indulge
your fixation
BDSM Club
club
hub
Assuming you’ve ever
walked past OAF
and secretly wanted
to join the corseted
suspender-wearers,
now you can. BDSM
club organises group-trips to Hellfire
club, the emporium of rough (but always
consensual) fun.
FURRY CLUB
Uh-huh, onesies have
a dark side. Don’t act
like you didn’t suspect.
The furry club acts like
it’s just girls drawing on
eyeliner whiskers but
let’s all be honest here.
Come along for the first
Tuesday of the month, but don’t even
think about forgetting your tail.
Feetish
Gaius Gracchus loves laurel
wreaths, ukesoc loves a tiny
instrument, And the Feetish
society loves feet.
P
eople all over
university are
united by common
loves. Some loves are
more niche than others.
Some people are immediately nervous
when they hear that Feetish appreciates
feet, suspecting this might be the university
equivalent of asking someone to come up to
your place to see your sketches. And your toes.
But the exec of Feetish is keen to point out
that there’s a way to objectively appreciate feet;
you can notice what makes them nice without
turning sordid. Like how that Queensland
MP could have noticed the full-bodied fruity
beauty of his glass of red wine without actually
submerging his dick in it. Feetish sits on the
safe end of the spectrum for most of their
events, promoting a welcoming atmosphere for
hardcore foot-worshippers and newer members
who just want to, well, dip a toe in.
“It’s really more of a safe space for likeminded people” says Feetish president Maldito
Dedo. “It’s so easy to feel like your sexual
preferences are marginalised at university.”
Feetish was borne out of Maldito’s desire
to find other foot fans in Sydney and break
down the stigma that surrounds their little
MLP CLUB
indulgence. “I just felt like at university there’s
all this activist work being done to make people
feel comfortable in what kind of person they
like. Black, white, straight, gay, whatever, every
KIND of person is fine, but the minute you
want a certain part, not a certain type, it all
changes.”
Feetish events start on the first of each
month with reflexology sessions, the practise
of the ancient belief that each part of your foot
corresponds to a vital organ or system in the
rest of your body. Feetish takes its members for
what skeptics would call a glorified foot massage
complete with margaritas. Just try to pretend
everyone around you is as take-or-leave-it as
you are.
Next on the list are pedicures for the gang.
If you catch the right night the Feetish gang
might just be headed to a place where there’s
karaoke at the same time as your French tips. If
you’re feeling like a foot fan by the end of the
night, stick with the crew as they head to [USU
REDACTED], a slightly suspect ‘nail salon’
where the prices go up the more tongue-to-toe
contact you want.
Feetish might not be for everyone, but if it’s
for you, you know it. There’s an introductory
meet‘n’greet on the first Friday of every month
(remember it alliteratively, footsie Fridays) if
you want to head along. There’s no necessary
commitment and it’s all fun (footsie fun) for
nervous first timers. Just remember to leave your
judgement and your toe hair at home.
MLP is not the
Meritocratic Labor
Party or even the
Multifaith-LibertarianPresbytarians. It stands
for My Little Pony
and it’s in this column
because some people
jerk off to it. If you knew that because you
are one, you can find the like-minded at
Hermann’s on Thursdays.
ZOOPHELIA CLUB
These guys take monthly
trips to Taronga and
you’re expected to bring
your own binoculars. I
don’t know much more
because they wouldn’t
take me on a trip, but I
do know if you want to join you’ll need to
leave a stuffed tiger in the tree by St Paul’s
on the 4th of next month.
The University of Sydney Union (USU) runs the Clubs
& Societies Program at the University of Sydney.
With over 200 registered clubs and societies, there’s
sure to be a group that interests you. Visit usu.edu.au
for more information.
43
44
bull usu.edu.au
shutter up
shutter up
Raven’s Gaze
A forever flightless bird
surveys the cool calm of the
Anderson Stuart courtyard.
PHOTOGRAPHER: LANE SAINTY
[SONY CYBERSHOT DSC WX50]
snap!
Send us your unique, arty or just plain cool (as in, not another quad shot) campus snap to [email protected].
We’ll publish our faves each edition in full page glory. High-res, 300dpi jpegs only – portrait orientation.
Issue 07
stop. puzzletime
45
stop.
puzzletime
crossword
Sheet1
1
2
3
4
5
8
8
7
8
9
10
12
6
Issue Five Solutions
11
13
15
14
16
17
18
19
20
21
22
25
23
26
28
29
30
Across
*04. Be (old) (3)
08. Developed ruling as one (8)
09. Right-Labor mostly has best
coffee on campus (6)
10. From there to start from here
(6)
11. Wannabe snake that I shout,
angrily (8)
*12. Giving an account of… (8)
14. … stride being improved with
least moisture (6)
15. Pay out at the beginning of
power (7)
17. Lizard holds love for soldier (7)
20. Badly miss extreme catch in a
gap (6)
24
27
The starred numbers make
two sets of clues that are
anagrams of each other.
These clues are defined but
unexplained.
*22. More entwined (8)
05. Gutless devil stepped outside
16-style stool (6)
25. Love writer doesn't start to look
after a field (4,4)
*06. Giving a notification (8)
26. Mouth allowed a cup (6)
Page 1 07. To enshrine fake jewellery (10)
28. Clement will tattle endlessly in
*10. Sailor (3)
secret (6)
13. Free canape time, perhaps? (10)
29. Man ogles heartlessly at
*16. Complicated love scenario (8)
children (8)
18. Unorthodox gene therapy
*30. License dispenser (1.1.1.)
almost gets grade (8)
19.
Hiding
great lantanas in
Down
Georgia (7)
01. Unending evening about to
21 Union of half-merino and halfbegin (4)
German (6)
02. Line-up: Al Green’s dead, oddly
23. Bella’s changing names (6)
(6)
*24. Betrayer (3)
*03. Making changes (8)
04. Organise a scope, say (8)
27. A lake sounds windy? (4)
Win a
Raleigh
Allure
Bike
valued at $329!
Thanks to The Bike Doctor, we’re giving
away a Raleigh Allure Bike valued at $329.
There are also five $70 bike servicing
vouchers, including gear and brake tune,
safety check and clean, up for grabs.
To enter, send us a photo of the
worst bike you have seen on campus to
[email protected]. Email subject
heading is The Bike Doctor.
Competition closes 5PM,
11 OCTOBER.
!
WIN
This year, BULL brings you cryptic crosswords from a Sydney University student (Arts IV) known affectionately and pseudonymously as ‘Ghoti’. Ghoti says hello,
and that ‘BULL Magazine’ is an anagram of ‘I’m unglazable’. Any questions, comments, or complaints can be sent to: [email protected]
46
bull usu.edu.au
BULLshit
bullshit
A collection
of inanities
and insanities,
because famous
people say dumb
stuff too.
“The only insults I will ever
take seriously on Twitter are
from gay teenagers”
Lena Dunham being Lena
Dunham
“Your (sic) a liar for hirer. I am
a professor. U got academia
envy. Take a cold shower”
Clive Palmer wants you
to call him ‘Professor
Palmer’
“#BANGERZ”
Miley Cyrus
ask
auntie
irene
Spot of bother
or need some advice?
Email Aunty Irene at
[email protected]
“I just keep thinking of her
mother and father watching
this. Oh, Lord, have mercy.
I was not expecting her to be
putting her butt that close to
my son. The problem is now
I can never ‘unsee’ it”
“HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO
THE LOVE OF MY LIFE, THE
ADVIL TO MY HANGOVER, THE
BLACK IN MY BLACKOUTS, THE
BATTERY TO MY BUNNY!!!”
@badgalriri being overenthusiastic about caps.
“We have a battle plan… I will
not be drawing breath for the
next few weeks”.
Kevin Rudd addressing
campaign workers
Robin Thicke’s mother
watching the video of
Miley Cyrus at the
2013 VMA
“They’re young, they’re feisty
– I think I can probably say
[they] have a bit of sex appeal.”
“Excited for what is to come.
MJ set the bar. Not only
for music but for being an
entertainer and how u treat
the fans. Wish he was here…”
Tony Abbott
demonstrating his
ineptitude WHEN dealing
with women
Justin Bieber on his sad
egotistical fantasy of
ever being on par with
Michael Jackson
Dearest Irene,
I was wondering, what’s
your advice on doing
some landscaping on my
lady parts? It’s my first
time and I’m debating
whether I should leave it au
naturel or give it a modern
refurbishing?
My Dear Sweetness
and Light,
Back in my prime I was
also concerned about that
question. I used to be
so pink-faced about the
abundant growth below
that I would do virtually
anything to conceal it. I
once tried using sticky
tape to tame my wild
lady tresses during the
summer, but it would only
hold for an hour until
it bounced back into its
former glory. I eventually
worked up the courage
to pluck my plume and
oh my, I regretted that
decision shortly after – I
spent hours sitting on
the dunny with my bits
lathered in camomile
to soothe the bumps
and the redness (not to
mention my love-purse
was plagued with ingrown
hairs a week or two later).
But that was when I was
young and impressionable
to the Murdoch-owned
The Daily Telegraph Pole,
which had these birds on
the cover showing how
trimmed they looked.
But they looked like
children for God’s sakes.
I know some men fancy
Australian Mynas, but this
kind of voyeurism was
borderline paedophilia!
Since then, I’ve been
strident to not pluck my
plume and to resist the
tide. Let’s just say that
while my feathers were
rustled my will was not.
Plus, your Uncle Bill tells
me he prefers to roost on
something plush during
the night.
Hey Aunt Irene,
I desperately want to sleep
with my tutor, but I think
she has a duty of care to not
have sexual relations with
her students. It is lust and
I’m not ashamed to admit
it. What do you think I
should do?
My Dear Cupcake,
I am sorry to hear
about your unfortunate
circumstances. I don’t
think tutors do have a
duty of care – you are all
adults after all. That said
it’s very unprofessional
of your tutor to bed
her pupils. Most
fundamentally my sweet
pea, although I’m sure
you make your advances
known, she may not be
interested. As my greatgranddaughter Birdy
always says, “Before you
touch the booty, ask
the cutie”.
Dear Auntie Irene,
I’m starting to get really
territorial about my phone,
especially when my friends
ask to use it to make a call
etc. I know it should be no
big deal, but I have been
watching a lot of mobile
porn lately since I’ve
been doing two hour long
commutes back home.
My friends think I’m
skimping out on credit,
but I actually don’t want
them to see my search
history, what should I do?
My Dear Child,
What a predicament you
are in! The Young People
of This Generation are
so technologically savvy.
Back in the old days, we
only had a hairbrush
and our imagination to
‘entertain’ ourselves. I’ve
asked Uncle Bill about
his thoughts and he
has suggested that you
use Google Chrome
(incognito) for your fun
times (it’s completely
hush-hush). P.S I hope
you reconsider emptying
your pipes on public
transport. It’s very
costly to clean up, not
to mention it being a
safety hazard. Imagine
an innocent bystander
slipping on your gunk!
9-18 october 2013
Get involved and
Unleash yoUr inner creativity
[email protected]
apply
now
Movers
Shakers
Thinkers
Leaders
THE USU IS LOOKING
FOR DRIVEN, MOTIVATED,
INSPIRED INDIVIDUALS TO
LEAD THE WAY IN 2014!
Student Leadership and Committee
Member Roles are now open for 2014.
If you want to shake things up a little and
get involved on campus – don’t miss this
opportunity!
APPLICATIONS
NOW OPEN
For more information & application forms visit
usu.edu.au/Get-Involved/Student-leadership.aspx
YOU COULD
BE OUR NEXT
CAMPUS CULTURE
DIRECTOR
DEBATES DIRECTOR
QUEER COORDINATOR
WOMEN’S COORDINATOR
INTERNATIONAL INTERN
HUMANITARIAN
PROGRAM DIRECTOR
INTERFAITH PROGRAM
DIRECTOR
ART COLLECTION OFFICER
BULL EDITOR
VERGE DIRECTOR
CHARITY OFFICER
POSTGRAD INTERN

secret usyd - University of Sydney Union

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