Ibelieve - Inner Child Press

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Ibelieve - Inner Child Press
B 4 the Dawn
June Barefield
inner child press, ltd.
Credits
Author
June Barefield
Foreword
Janet P. Caldwell
Editors
June Barefield
Janet P. Caldwell
Cover Art Painting
Luna Soolay
Project Manager
Gertie Williams
Book & Cover Design
William S. Peters, Sr.
ii
General Information
B 4 the Dawn
June Barefield
1st Edition : 2013
This Publishing is protected under Copyright Law as a “Collection”. All rights for all
submissions are retained by the Individual Author and or Artist. No part of this
Publishing may be Reproduced, Transferred in any manner without the prior WRITTEN
CONSENT of the “Material Owner” or its Representative Inner Child Press. Any such
violation infringes upon the Creative and Intellectual Property of the Owner pursuant to
International and Federal Copyright Law. Any queries pertaining to this “Collection”
should be addressed to Publisher of Record.
Publisher Information
1st Edition : Inner Child Press :
[email protected]
www.innerchildpress.com
Printed in the United States
This Collection is protected under U.S. and International Copyright Laws
Copyright © 2013: June Barefield
LOC : 1-902796831
ISBN-13 : 978-0615795515
ISBN-10 : 061579551X
$ 19.95
iii
iv
D
edication
DEDICATED to my Mother,
and to memory of Ms Monica,
&
Young Robert "Bugg'a" Rudolph
DEDICATED to the UNDERDOGG everywhere. STAND UP!
v
F
I
oreword
am honored to write this foreword for Mr. Barefield. June is an
unassuming, humble man and a very talented Poet and human being. I am
going to be brutally honest and say that I ADORE his work. I cannot
imagine a bigger fan than I. The poems in this book are a must read! I want
to shout it to the world that the man is genius.
His
work, some may find eclectic, I find it awakening my humanity,
interesting, stimulating my senses and was sorry to read the last page, so I
read the manuscript again. He is a modern day Jack Kerouac or Charles
Bukowski, with his Beat Style Poetry and creative innovations in verse.
I am well aware that June is well read without him ever telling me, and he
has not. Read his works and see for yourself. The man is as educated as
anyone with a Master's Degree, with his penning a poem so tight that you
fully get his vision. You will feel, hear, see, taste and smell his story. There
is love, hate, rage, gentleness and always a respect for his God and Mother.
From these Urban streets you will get a clear view of how it really is. His
descriptive verses take you there, and when he is angry, you are angry too!
He also shines a light on socially conscious issues and is a very in your face
poet, though as a friend, he is as gentle as a lamb, loyal and the kind of man
that has your back. What can I say, I love June and all that he stands for. I
am happy to call him Brother, for he is like a Brother to me and my new
Favorite Author.
vi
I urge each of you to buy this book, and take a walk with June, and to see
the world through his eyes, the eyes of a true visionary. There is never a dull
moment, or a lag in his story telling. You'll be inspired to get out there and
do something to make this world a better place. Thank you June, and
Congratulations!
Janet P. Caldwell
Author ~ Poet
vii
P
reface
Before the Dawn has been lingering inside of me for many years; as I have
always written. Essays, Poems, Short Stories, and Thoughts that mostly I
was unable to share or express in any other way besides writing them down.
This collection of thoughts & poems comes from that place just before the
dawn. A dark place mostly I'd venture to say. It's a collection of memories,
theories, and observations of all I have encountered in this dark place up
until now. There is certainly a sense of majesty if one has the where with all
to encounter the dawn, and experience that dark, quiet place it provides just
before the sun comes up and brightens not only the earth, but our
countenances as human beings.
Over the years I have trained myself to rise early, and embrace this place;
this darkness and calm. Often times I consecrate these early morning hours
to writing, and studying. Most of the luxuries, and many of the so called
comforts in life are not only not indispensable, but positive hindrances not
only to our own development, but to the development of mankind in it's
entire. I have lived a life mostly clouded in darkness, and clinging to despair
as a sort of off beat strength, understood by no one including myself. This
darkness became very visible to those around me earlier on in my life, while
I let false pride and anger cloud everything. This anger; this torment if you
will you shall encounter within the pages of this work. I'd hope it serves as a
source of empowerment, and provides any one who reads this work a bit of
awareness, and power to move through life a giver.
When I was very young I had an uncle who was one of very few who knew
my passion; or almost need to write things down. He would teasingly call
me a poet, and tell me that all poets are poor. He'd say, "boy you are going
to be a broke ass poet, but that's ok. I think you have got a story to tell so tell
it; don't hide it, tell it..."
viii
I smile inside when I recall him and his teasing, and today joyfully I think
he may have been correct. I have found that sometimes the very nature of
this art is absolutely lonely. Before the dawn delves into this loneliness, and
despair with an unending will to persevere and to triumph. Before the dawn
is complete with a street vernacular and attitude some will maybe have to
have translated. Throughout the entirety of this en devour of mine to bring
the darkness to the light; you shall encounter faith, and hope, and love. Love
for people even in darkness, hope for the survival of humanity, and
consciousness, and faith in the life giving power of the ALMIGHTY.
It seems I have traveled a million miles in one second on the one hand, and
one the other it seems as if the million miles have taken a million years! I've
felt the wings on the winds of madness, and I have also succumb to the
gentle breeze of tranquility. I have found that life more than anything is a
balancing act of compassion coupled with it's opposite, and we must be wary
not to fall by the wayside of violence, and intemperance for others. B4 the
Dawn has a distinct autobiographical tempo and tenor at the core. It is a
journey down through plush valleys, up over rugged mountains, scaling
dreadful cliffs, and it also delves darkly at times into a very depressed state
where this Darkness is very visible.
I often dream of the times I hear people speak of today when poets would
sit around a table and rap into the twilight about departed souls, and the
night, and the sunshine, and a cloudy dream where peace reigns listening to
music, and really being alive. Innocent times if such a thing really ever
existed. If so I believe this world lost it's innocence long before I came to be.
I believe if the world was ever; at any time in balance and harmony that
today, sadly it is wildly off kilter. I have personally spent the majority of my
life all alone in the teeming crowd, desperately searching for an identity to
cling to. I painstakingly thought this was the way I would uncover this
darkness and poke through the other side of the chasm into the light. Always
a lost seeker somehow drowning inside the invented common identity.
ix
Before the Dawn I like now; was always a secret dreamer, but I willingly
placed a revolver inside the pocket of my heart which extinguished any trace
of light. I have since been able to greet solitude as a friend, and build a
comfortable place for my soul to be at ease and at peace there. Amazingly I
am never alone! I believe I can see traces of light up ahead where the dawn
inside of me is beginning to arise while the poem of creation remains
uninterrupted before this dawn and on into the next...
June Barefield
aka
June Bug
x
xi
T
able of
C
ontents
Foreword
Preface
vi
viii
The Poetry
Kill YaSELF !
1
?riDdLe LiFe?
3
Die NIGGER !
6
“BIG homie say”
8
THE WHAT ?
9
NOW
10
Sometimes
12
MASTERPIECE
14
STRENGTH
15
The River Nile
18
Something for Asia and Angel
19
OVERCOME
20
Xplore a Place
21
SWAN
23
Trying 2 see the SON
25
This Ain’t Love
27
GENERATIONAL DARKNESS
30
Probably Nothing
35
A patRIOT
38
A Patient
40
xii
Table of Contents . . .
continued
KNEES
42
Like Air
43
DISCUSSION
45
Teach Them
46
Beyond my Horizons
48
Everything But
50
U Died
53
Daddy's Gone
54
What shall I feed ?
57
Begin Again
60
ANGER
62
Nothingness
64
OUTLAWED
67
VERSUS
72
Tell Ya Neighborhood . . .
78
Letter 2 my friend
80
YESTERDAY
82
NOTIME
84
LOVE LETTER
87
When Death Dawns
89
Lately
91
IRON
92
SWORD
93
People need Hope
97
Priority #1
99
xiii
Table of Contents . . .
continued
Hey! Get in that cell nigga !
103
DEPRIVATION
104
This Time
105
Family Tree
107
TranZfusion
109
Whatever Man
114
Psychotic Behavior
118
for the 9th House
119
Death SPEAKS
122
Satan
124
Praise God !
126
Same Story
129
Wrapped up ‘N’ Rhetoric
133
Past me by …
135
Eternal Shadow
136
Speak Life
138
A Tryst on Love
140
Tell Me ?
142
Cops & these other Robbers
146
Baited Breath
149
alphabet Boxes
150
A Poetic Rant
152
Come what May
153
Love One Another
156
EVEN
158
xiv
Table of Contents . . .
continued
Unbroken
160
It's Near
161
I think I love you
163
I apologize
164
Eternally Earth
165
Gotta know Love
167
DRIVEN
168
DIMENSIONS
171
Throw up both my hands
173
THE GET-A-AWAY
175
Tell Them
176
Red's & Blue's
177
On Sunday
178
Obsessed
179
Mirror Test
181
LIKE THEM
183
LOVE is... EVERYTHING!
185
Epilogue
187
about the Author
189
a few words from June
195
Acknowledgments
199
Get Connected
203
xv
June Barefield
xvi
B 4 the Dawn
June Barefield
inner child press, ltd.
xvii
"The light shines in the darkness,
although the darkness has not understood it..."
John 1 : 5
xviii
June Barefield
KiLL YaSELF!
Prayer & supplication, discontinued duplication
B dutiful & build a NATION
take the jackals off the plains...
teach 'em about their true self; maybe give them all new names?
The lion's in the PRIDE, yet there are no real lion's
the wolf is in the pack, but the PACK is steady dying
trying to figure upon facts, lacking the act inside conviction
Animal-ism and sedition
A little ni99a'z real religion
so it's CURSED B Canaan> GoD gon’ enlarge the other
if you understood the curse NiGGa, U would have never killed your brother....
What we gon do is come a new, you know? Begin 2 LOVE one-another
feel another’s struGGle
empathy iz not sympathy; so cry the tears of your Mother
the appeal of a man, woman
of a HUMAN Being
is not doing
Pursuing and pleasing the sations of inhumane relations
birthed from the beginning
when obedience wuz aborted
GOd is the God of all the lives unsorted
1
B 4 The Dawn
Recorded down thru all eternity is U
& me
its Him
and her
its us & them;
From now
till then
...till the end
We all must ALL lend a hand
Comprehensive intensive care for our fellow man,
and then...
maYbe?
... "Begin Again"....
Over & Again,
Until we win,
TOGETHER.
but 4 now...
KiLL YaselF!!
2
June Barefield
?riDdLe LiFe?
Everything is everything from beginning
to end
In winning;
this we must comprehend...
WisDom.
Be firm like your Grandmothers OAK tree
Pride is dangerous, so
Get down on bended knee
Oh- we've come a long way with bar codes &
fake titty
We've got CD rom in the city & pity the un pretty
We don't eat Bee cuz we're hungry
No longer drink to quench thirst
Our attitudes R terrible - Our GREED,
much worse...
Freedom's become a gold card, and
Philosophy is dead
This brothers on the blue team
This fools flag iz RED.
God remains faithful - He's near you
He hears you, but you beg
To search one's soul is understanding
The circles final peg.
You see...
A golden bit never made a better horse, but
A solid brick builds a solid porch
THE FIRES BURN BRIGHTLY
Will you carry the torch?
With all these minds of Minolta
They have already bought ya
Question is?
Have they sold ya...
This System.
3
B 4 The Dawn
It controls ya
It'll mold ya,
Hold ya
Then it spits you out of it's filthy mouth
No doubt we learn to laugh,
Not realizing soon we will cry
So...
If there's a time to kill, then
Surely- we must die
This circle- this life
Complicating the mind
I find that whatever moves, remains fluid
So pursue it, or lose it
ETERNALLY.
There is only one protection that will yield
In these killing fields - The only shield,
UNDERSTANDING...
Otherwise, what is so simple will remain
So demanding - Understand?
~ RidDle LiFe ~
4
June Barefield
Die NIGGER!
5
B 4 The Dawn
If time is relative,
our definitions speculative;
then who the fuck R we...
"I cannot tell a lie."
If you throw up & spit,
fart & then shyt...
GOOD.
A Nigga...
Just a bewildered, season less, neutral soul
Controlled- Devoid of heat or of cold...
A windless,
powerless
collection of another man's splendor;
of another mans code
Remember?
Sons & Daughters
A Nigga...
A hopeless, demoralizing, empty terror
Witlessly preoccupied
eternally subservient
weary & wary;
With only unrelenting facts of this nigger-ness
to recall
Blessed with...
"Cursed be Canaan",
"Let GOD enlarge Japheth."
A nigga...
Vanities captor
full of numbness & dread
6
June Barefield
Even our vanity we cannot own
Alone.
Trained that upheaval is evil,
incorporated into this psyche
The dark half
the sequel
second to all,
integrated into a house already ablaze &
so sure to fall
A nigga...
Abject and shuffling along with a cheap little grin
Motiveless.
Bee cuz motive,
requires reason,
'Tis the season for vain glory
story unforgiving ,
treasonous & sorry
A nigga's glory is
Self hate,
And so it is
in this way
Inside hate
The wake of oblivion dawns...
for
A NiggA.
“BIG homie say”
o
"Where 2 go what 2 do
7
B 4 The Dawn
I pursue this life of crime
fuck a joB & fuck schOOL too!
I'm never taking what they offering fool.
Now how long will this last?"
BiG homie say...
"My whole community iz on dope
taking them biG LONg blasts
ain’t no money in that though
I can't make me no cash
End up stealing from my mother
So I’m like my Brothers keeper
got these ni99az out here going 2 see the grim reaPer..."
BiG homie say...
"You cant wait 4 the next man 2 give you shit
cant switch it up; Gotta B down 2 RYDE 4 your click
Enemy rolled up on us 2day BUSTIN', but
them damn fOOlz missed..."
BiG homie say...
"He copped his first case at the age of ONE - three
said he beat a bytch so baDD that now he has badd dreamz..."
BiG homie say...
"The right 2 remain silent iz a mutha fuckin' joke”
He passed me the blunt,
I thought about it...
Took me a little bitty toke, you know?
thought some more, and then I took my Young ass home!"
THE WHAT?
The discouraged, the depressed
8
June Barefield
The deceit in deaths lie
The demons date denounced,
the dance of man's doubtful course
The temptation of ones thoughts
The troubled, trustworthy, the talented
The thankful
The wisdom in worship
The work of the witness
The will to survive this war in life
The peace that patience brings,
The persecution of peer pressure
The pride of the parent,
The punishment that follows prophecy
The beauty, the baptism, the Blood
The bad habits, the backslidden...
The loyalty in love
The longevity in loneliness,
The laziness lust brings
The future in flattery
The forgiveness, the friend
The fear of the future
The salvation, not Satan
The self pity in shame
The self controlled by ONEself
The self control to control Self
The What?
NOW
Young & Black
innocent
9
B 4 The Dawn
my innocence synonymous to
my ignorance
One in the same without proper
revelation
sensational historical fantasies
I embrace as
my own
GROWN now
investigate my own
NOW.
innocent no longer
stronger fusion, less confusion
unfashionable now
Still black
seek change now
share the TRUTH
NOW.
refuse any proposition; or proposal providing
inconclusive solutions for
the innocent, ignorant
NOW.
The ignorance deepens
Look into my eyes now
How to make a change, rearrange the patterns of
Poverty & prejudice now,
HOW?
10
June Barefield
Sometimes
Sometimes when I write I am unable to finish
11
B 4 The Dawn
There's deficiency when I write
I NeeD courage,
Whether living or dead
forced or avoidaBle
momentous or trivial
My scruples stupefied
edited & edified
When I write
Sometimez...
I turn my back on the Truth
Conjure up a proper lie
Sometimez why...
I totally neglect reason
I fight inside with this BURNING house of mine,
Contemplating treason
am I?
Is my?
Iz my "FREE will" just a raggedy fifth wheel to the actual coach?
Sometimez...
When I write sometimes my insight iz intellectual,
sentimental
Instrumental
consequential
Like "Pascal's Wager"
Always...
12
June Barefield
I am wary and aware of my ANGER
Sometimez...
I simply omit whatever it iz I am not willing to admit
My wit murders my will ,and I fumBle about without reason or skill
When I write sometimez...
When I find silence; I'm still
The thrill
the connection
This Peace that washes out ALL unwanted redundant pretension
Did I mention?
Sometimes when I write
"IT" for me iz Glorious!
I do nothing at ALL, but listen...
WHEN I WRITE
SoMeTiMeZ~
MASTERPIECE
I want to introduce the reader to strange masterpieces that they can hang up on the wall
13
B 4 The Dawn
They can buy them all up or wait patiently till they wither, crack, burn and fall
They can crawl out of a tomb and watch the bomb blast go KaBoom
Soon...
I want to iron out the wrinkles in your thinking
Get u to drinking up the truth, and
while you're turning the other cheek
I want to knock out at least one front tooth
I want cataclysmic rhythms dripping from apocalyptic prose
I want poetry in motion when I take off your panty hose
Leave you with an ache in your belly; make your ovaries incandescent as I drop these
heavy blows
The rose that grows 'round here no longer choked out or eaten alive by you crows
See my masterpiece?
It's hanging on your wall
Buy them up quickly, wait patiently until they wither, crack, burn and fall
Crawl out of your tomb
Anarchy takes place promptly at high noon
I want to donate your organs,
maybe requisition you a brain
No more capitulation to the lame
Same stories and categories
Same inglorious allegory without meaning or allegiance because your narrative is phony,
and it's genesis is shame
Just compliance, absurd tradition, phony religion, and a dream that keeps you wishing
I want sedition and pure resistance NiGGa; so wish upon a star
My masterpiece it's hanging on your wall where there's no politics at all
No social idealism schisms in quotation marks; just sparks from the flames that came
after it withers, cracks and falls
I want to end this chaotic organism invented at the start
I want to hedge my bets like a hedonist, professionally do nothing but inflame your heart
I want nothingness your reality, Nirvana without the bartering and begging, bushwacking for your salary
I want the student to be ready, Because the master He is coming
I want holy men with nuts if there is holiness at all
Can you see my masterpiece?
It's hanging on your wall...
STRENGTH
Living & learning to take it all in as best I can
14
June Barefield
To me things R stupefying yet fascinating ALL at the same time
From us savages to the civilized
SeeMs all over the World as I jet set through the prisms inside my own mind
Marvelous!
come rain or shine...
hail, sleet, thunder , snow, WAR, lightning, famine, pestilence
Makes no difference,
The Tower remains Babel while language & culture twist us up in this,
This Mumbo JumBo...
The temperature iz always mean & w/o much temperance
Hilarious!
Let Gods’ blessing rain down upon king & country & battleships & high Xplosives &
tanks & airplanes,
This way the worker;
He'll have more STRENGTH in his arms
to slaughter more cows, & horses, & sheep
Keeping the sheep unawares & asleep
STRENGTH.
to punch holes in IrOn girders, sell carrots & shyt, sew buttons on other peoples pants
Strength to build automobiles, conduct business in back roomz plotting durty dealz
Strength to exterminate insects, native dialects, write bad checks, prop up the paraplegic;
then re-break his neck
STRENGTH.
So that GODz blessing may rain down upon king & country
Hilarious!
15
B 4 The Dawn
ALL over the world
the temperature iz mean
same mumBo jumBo
Join the quire in your high laced shoes & fancy suits singing in alto or soprano like hoes
and oh...
B4 you walk out the door with the rest of the angels of the Lord
Put something in the slot box, preferably folded paper banknotes
You know?
So that we may continue to carry out & strengthen this heavenly work
YUP.
All this lip chewing & horn-swoggling in order to furnish & store up a little
STRENGTH.
Them say whatever moves remains fluid
pursue it or lose it, huh?
I just muster up ALL the strength I have inside my soul; with the clear-headedness that
comes after an ALLNIGHT session
My confession?
I NEED STRENGTH~
16
June Barefield
The River Nile
It slithers like a snake
17
B 4 The Dawn
On moonlit etched horizons
Full of danger and surprises
The River Nile
For miles upon miles upon miles
Waters dazzling and bright
From Rome to Khartoum
The River Nile
Pharaohs’, Pyramids’, Legions of Romans
They ornament the pageantry of
the river
Nile
They've all inhaled the fragrance of
succumb to the dangers of
the greatness of
The River Nile
Where ships splash about between dark forest walls
On shores where elephants snort and hose down their backs
In the distance monkeys cackle and laugh
Banks shift over time
New passages appear thru pastured hills
dark blots of impenetrable jungle
out of sight and sound
and into the swamp
Where Pomp meets circumstance as predators prey
A true Monarch amongst waterways
The River Nile
For Miles upon miles upon miles
Through Uganda, the Sudan, Egypt; Arriving in Cairo...
Someday,
I long to see for myself this slithering snake
The River Nile.
Something for Asia and Angel
18
June Barefield
Life's an adventure filled with spell casted mystic
There are many roads, small paths, and
Mountain Peaks
Daring is the enterprise that we call life,
The ROAR in Lionz den
Life can be frightening;
it's made mice of many men.
A crystal clear lake, a mighty whirlwind funnel
No matter where life takes you girls,
Travel towards the light at the end of the tunnel.
Proceed, and as you grow
Realize that your GOD,
He has a plan
Life is filled with such beauty & passion for he;
or in this case SHE, who walks the LAND.
You are two lovely young ladies
In this GIGANTIC space & span,
Your father will 4ever LOVE you, and
ALWaYS lend a hand...
4 my daughters Asia Lanae’ & AngeL ElizaBeth...
OVERCOME.
Dear God,
19
B 4 The Dawn
it's me...
I'm writing you this letter to ask for your help. I have accepted your SoN as my Savior. I
have prayed to you in His Name. I've confessed my sins. I know I’ve been granted
forgiveness. I Prayed that He would come into my heart, and bring peace; where there
was once only anger, shame, and torment. I have prayed every day. Day after day... I
thought that would be that. It's not that simple is it? Where is the miracle? I figured I
would be instantly well. Well? Father... God? I still cannot control all the evil inside my
heart. The closer I try and come to You, the more Satan seems to come between us. Why?
Why did you create Satan, God? Why do I still find anger, hatred, and lust in every
thought? The more I pray, the more I seem to notice all of the impure, unclean thoughts
inside of me, and often think of returning to my original state. Lord God, Father- please,
help me...
Sincerely,
Overcome with evil
Dear overcome,
I have heard your prayers, and it is true... You are free from condemnation my son. It is I
who has allowed you to notice all of those evil, unclean thoughts. Those thoughts; they
have always been there, have they not?
The miracle my son? Now you recognize those thoughts, and understand what they truly
are. Your eyes are now open, my son. Keep up the good work, and in time those thoughts
shall be few. I have a plan for you, and your heart will always belong to me. This is how I
go about helping you to understand Love.
My Love for you.
Always,
GOD
Xplore a Place
I suppose as I surmise,
20
June Barefield
by and by, one may indeed
be a bit surprised
Them who claim Freedom iz democracy
steadfast & un- shook
yet, scientifically tongue tied
shoving Truth aside,
2 the left, or 2 the right- Might
Just...
THINK.
Think on these things, and force that lie to flee
Deviate from the worldly, the relevant
Ur connection 2 it's seeming benevolence
Flames the fires of deceit
THINK.
Let one glorious onslaught of thought process prevail- Set Sail
Surrender the KING's bounty, loose the shackles on ur feet- Retreat
Without surrender , regroup & then remember
Inside the Earth there is a seed; Inside the seed, there rest a peace
THINK.
If the death of character is faceless- if it's dysfunctional, and
the first real building block of character is Truth telling
Take a look around
Now tell me what U see
How is it Bravery becomes cowardice; or heroism deceit
Think about your desire in it's emptiness
watch bitterness increase...
The greatest gift iz LIFE, but
it's only on a lease
So Pin the tail on the devil, and give him his due
There's no future in your front; or
fruitless flattery
What we deem civilized is,
simply glorified savagery
THINK.
Tear down your thought with thought, and then; think a little more
EXPLORE A PLACE inside yourself
you've never visited Before
21
B 4 The Dawn
B Strong...
enter into your own body,
there U have a solid place for your feet
stroke a few unfamiliar keyz- Become Dizzy
like Gillespie, FREE 2 solo how U want
Every set
Every note
Every lyric has meaning inside thought so...
THINK.
Drive the wicked from your tomb, unstable as it is
Empty on the inside; with the outward illusion
that it lives
For even the myriad measurements’ of the Great Pyramids shall pass
The fires flame remembers not the ash;
Nor the dust- So?
who do you trust?
Just.
food 4 thought...
or maybe not!!
SWAN
Tell me your story
22
June Barefield
Where did You first appear
What dark sands are you reaching for
Where do you sleep before Dawn turns to dusk
What are you looking for?
Swan.
I think.
In doing so, I believe you alone know a place where spiritual flatness,
Depression & doubt do not exist
A place where freedom is real
Life is no riddle
A place I long to be...
A place where the living have no fear of death
Swan.
I've smelled the aroma of the great "I AM" for a second; or maybe two
Now I’m inside some sort of magnificent servitude
This fragrance is yours, my beautiful swan
Where the bumble bee of ones heart remains deeply engulfed inside of the flower
It seems to float atop winds, that only you know...
Swan.
Tell me your story?
23
B 4 The Dawn
Trying 2 see the SON
24
June Barefield
I got this thousand yard stare,
so beware of the DOG
my plate iz still insufficient,
full'a hog
trying 2 see the SON, but
I can't for the smog
I'm missing my momma, I aint got no job
2 make ends meet, I gotta steal & RoB
In my community, cross the traks anyway
they call me a sloB
Like Spiderman homie in all Dickey BLACK
with this strap intact, Lord Knowz
they tagg body bagz
The rage I hold at bay, comes back from this crack sack
My Cadillac’s been; well, I 4get what they call that
It's at the pound by the gate, way back B-hind another stack
Everydayz a screen-test, but my life aint SHOWBIZ
Tricks iz 4 kids
That’s Y I had 2 smack a bytch
Now when she comes around she constantly smiles & tricks
I'm knowing this life of mine iz illegitimate
at least in your eyez,
sometimes I cry
Sulk while I sagg
25
B 4 The Dawn
Waving a RED flagg so I don't feel BLUE
Truth B told,
I'm waiting on you
Born filthy
guess i'm guilty
But it's difficult 2 See the SoN on the run with a gun
So absolutely durty, but
I know revelation gon come
So I sit back & wait
iz it 2 late,
I wonder?
Tryna see the SoN, but
constantly gotta duck the THUNDER
blunder after blunder
Up under this which I have been made 2B
Seemingly, systematically, emphatically it iz I
HE iz me,
JUST...
TRYNA see the SON
4-3~
Somehow; Inside, I’m knowing that we R ALL…
~ONE
26
June Barefield
This Aint Love
Under the cover of law
Lawless men live
Illegal business controlz ameriKa
Unholy covenants confirm the divisionz now discerned
Unspoken lesson teach the haves, but keep the have nots
UNLEARNED.
So now there's a war inside your soul,
filled with anger & frustration
No where to hide
This same anguish has got you taking sides
against your own
MIND.
Ni99a’ roz...
We take our bereavement to the street, and
kill our own kind
Same BLOOD, sweat, the same tearz
Bustin' back for the flack,
Lil man bought a strap on the trak
He wanna bring his BIG brother back, but
He has yet to learn the circle; could care less about the "Payback"
But, it's comin'...
Double minded in thought - taught nothin'
Assimilated 4 the exact same deeds being done
No unity in the community,
Desperate circumstances got the hate in your heart festering
But...
If I ask you why?
No alibi.
Try to ignore the desperate glances your receiving,
from the peer group you chose
Nothing iz frozen in time
In time...
You too - Run out of Time.
27
B 4 The Dawn
Thinking it's to late,
with no one to tell it to
YOU.
You're caught up in taking chances
Talkin' shit, and you've learned 2 get high
trying to dull the pain inside,
Giving a mutha fuck now
Brother gone,
Mother stuck
All you wanna do iz RYDE.
RIGHT?
So you start claiming the hocus pocus; you feel your mind's made up
BORN to DIE,
With all the fear, the anguish, frustration, the hate
You hate yourself INSIDE
Just another well dressed prostituted soul; on any avenue U S of A tryna to get it right
Rollin' dolo with your life,
Truth B told
Nobody never cared enough to set an example
Provide some goodness, and grace, teach you the love of self ;
Your pride iz fake, it coincides & exists on a life - a lie
Built on illusion,
So maybe you’ll grow old in a cold world of only 1/4 truths
To die confused.
THIS AINT LOVE.
28
June Barefield
29
B 4 The Dawn
GENERATIONAL DARKNESS
Promises promises - it Began
expecting a positive outcome I was
a slight smile, a warm greeting
formalities followed
I sat.
explained wants confidently
a part of society
respected part
left, she went
after words exchanged
I waited & reflected on the gift of life
she returned
question in mind,
is he your brother?
Yes, why do you ask?
I have to... you could have... he has lice!
Lice?
another symbol of poverty
un cleanliness
a state of pain, suffering possibly
a pause...
I gasped - say again?
you must B mistaken
hands swept over my head
just checking, was quoted
a rush of pain, shame.
Memories flooding in, thoughts
shame, painful shame
shame for another .
Quietly I sat
are you ok?
she sounded relieved,
still I sat
forced to think
30
June Barefield
face hardened, and I’m colder now
a memory - I look down at a white speckled mass
filthy hair on a neighbors porch
they laughed at the sight of my head
my hairless head
mocked, rejected, almost a normalcy
this state.
a scared lonely child - just a boy
a child without a childhood
pain, struggle, questions questioning questions...
Shadows missing.
is this life or just existence?
why do they say such things?
why me?
what have I done?
hate, pity
hate for those who caused my pain, my shame
my pitiful shame
alone.
Lost without mother, father, life.
stop
please just stop.
louder the yells, harder the hits
the cries , inside the horrible cries
STOP! leave her alone
I wanted to say
afraid
never did say
darkness endures
complete & utter darkness conjures my fury
this internal fire
confused - no understanding
War rages within
fake smiles for my welfare Xmas...
shame.
filth.
31
B 4 The Dawn
look at him
poor child
don't look at me
my life relived & reviled
why must he relive my hells, endure such pain,
why must he cry himself to sleep
in shame?
Dream does he?
poverty.
another virus for the weak to endure
only a child, he cannot help himself, nor does he understand
what sparked this...
I try and forget looking the other way
my mother - vainly - ashamed, insane, to fake at being tame
Cry.
I fear what ifs, and maybes
will they say to him what they said to me?"
his anger iz now rage
I understand, but cannot explain
a child buried in confusion & hurt so deep
he lashes out!
I try to help the helpless
i'm helpless.
a wall stands between us
a wall built brick by brick
with shame and defeat
to thick, wide
to much to forge
cycles repeating themselves
I cry for him
he don't cry no more.
I say something
he looks up at me
hesitant
eyes filled with the yearning I already know
he turns away
ashamed
32
June Barefield
no not again.
I'm running round in circles in my mind
good grades, manners, is only an image
the poverty we cannot hide
the lineage
I sit in darkness
what sparked this?
I feel him on the other side
he looks inward
in my mind I reach out to him
even in my mind I never reach him
or maybe I was afraid i would
reach him
God why will you not help?
I have to get away from this place
shake the bait dangling off the hook
escape...
others look
casually they laugh
I keep my cool - bull shit!
he looks up into my eyes
no longer surprised
I understand
cant explain generations
I try and comfort him
my night now ruined
in ruins
it always has been
Home.
he sits up on a stool, hair still wet
he stares forward
cant tell if its water on his face
or is he weeping?
he don’t cry no more
quietly we endure
I turn away
33
B 4 The Dawn
i'm hoping it would all just go away
disappear
I turn back
he reappears
I close my eyes.
This pain is just my life
Generational Darkness sparked this
Death sounds pleasant
Runaway!
I want to
hide & cry for us both
away from here
no...
I gotta face it
I will
face it
replace it
the shame & envy
the pity & pain
and heal...
The Generational Darkness that sparked this...
34
June Barefield
Probably Nothing
This iz not a poem.
This iz just a thought.
This iz how I feel.
This to me iz real.
Real BEE cuz I cannot place faith in this sham.
Real BEE cuz I don't give a good got DAMN.
Ya DiGG?
I have a young relative doing time in the pen.
He's 20 years old.
He won't B out 4 another 15 spinZ.
1st arrest.
1st time in the judicial.
Maximum sentencing 4 a young ni99a caught up in this drug war issue.
The joke's on him, huh?
Somebody need to come up missing.
I had a Granny.
She damn near raised me.
Worked her entire fucking life.
The issue 4 her; it seems, was the racketeering medical insurance hustle.
Paying what she had not to this pharmaceutical drug lord - ur government.
Somehow we collectively don't see it that way, huh?
Gotta disease called aidZ.
Certainly man made.
35
B 4 The Dawn
For the black it B like population control.
Deep in the heart of a bureaucrat, the fear of a Black Planet is all to well known.
I ask U African ameriKan negroes?
When's enough gonna' B enough?
Vote 4 who?
R U really represented?
From the democrat; with his cheap grace, and so called social consciousness, to the bitch
made republican; with his 4th Reich mentality, his capitalistic savagery.
They both drink from the same crystal chalices!
Fuck a vote without representation.
Who represents the struggle?
Didn't U know?
It has intensified!
OUR struggle inside this delusion in your mind.
Change you better not believe in.
Our struggle inside this corporately controlled whirlwind.
Can U feel the wind?
Does it dizzy you in the spin?
"The people of the lie"
Check 'em out...
The BULLSHIT will never end.
Vote?
Ni99a Please.
4-3~
36
June Barefield
37
B 4 The Dawn
A patRIOT
Yep. Me...
i'm patRIOTic,
a patRIOT of me barrio
the HILLSIDE, northeast
where I was born & bred,
where I bled BLOODy ReD
The rest...
the rest of the US - it exists, but
it don't exist,
Especially that political trip,
that double up for a dollar bill type bullshit
I'm Diggin' the IDEA of democracy,
of his story
even literature, but
February’s the month of my Mystery
synched & sowed up, like a stitch torn,
Born as a people, uprooted, and moved to this symmetry
ameriKa- a cemetery...
I was born in the street,
at least raised there in
fiery, active & energetic,
a restless soul,
a symphony of patRIOTism
where accident & incident are ONE with drama & movement
In the street you learn what human beingz really truly R,
from the 9inth House 2 them cattle cars
Otherwise & afterward,
you only invent them
patRIOTic life liberty & the pursuit of madness
where your comforts & compensations mere existence,
subsides & subsists for your lifeless loyalties
Patriot that U R,
given Caesar, napoleon; even Capone
given Lenin, and the czar...
38
June Barefield
Once there was none of this
There was a time we were murderous, WILD & free,
once we were real,
patRIOTs of these streets
Like BoBBy P, tom tom,& the OG Kenny KNox
who, by the mere act of walking down the street,
inspired fear,
& admiration...
patRIOTism.
Un invented & unimagined,
at least for me,
true odyssey’s on my streets
that they later became truck drivers, prisoners, dead men, fathers, social workers, dope
fiends, and completely en-gulphed in this bullshyt we call life...
2 me iz irrelevant.
So tell me?
where my black patriots at,
R U embracing the confounded constrictions of the fictionist,
is the mark of ameriKan patriotism really on your back?
where U at...
a patRIOT.
39
B 4 The Dawn
A Patient
My Momma's son
Living on all of 7even absolutions, but WaRing on 8ight fronts,
Infiltration inside iris' neglect
A quiet GanGsta' type respect
Contemptuous infectionz
one of many sons caught,
bobbled- then dropped...
Ignorance iz just excess after excess; with no consideration for what comes next
The Journeyman I BEE
Death dodging; blind boy turned man,
The Patient
Mommas son.
Feeling mystical
Puffin on this sticky green leaf
holdin' on, Hangin' in
feeling a tension, like torsion - Knowing
at any moment I 2 might slip,
Sink like battleships
stratagem failed- sails asunder
Casket dipped...
Mommas son,
A Patient.
Motives twisted, tied up like tongues cut & hung,
strung up one by one
40
June Barefield
Infectious like injections from
all these man made flues
Strained wickedly- popped consistently- snorted insistently
a strawberry type of acid,
Guided, girded, grounded & found guilty
Just like me in the War...
Drugs hit home like the czar came up on my block, but
moved out & up - got that 90210 type clout
Forgot his homeboyz death,
same reason last breaths remain mostly
un confessed...
From east 2 west
15 spinz- first arrest
Shameful blessings dressed a felonious donor inside borders
set in stone,
Mommas son gotta go it alone
In the face of unrelenting judgment;
by everyone shyt on & left
But still....
Mommas son
A Patient.
41
B 4 The Dawn
KNEES
As sure as the AIR I now breath
GOD.
Him forces men 2 their KNEE'S
While I was waiting 2 Xhale
When everything inside of me was leaning towards the other side of the street
I asked GOD?
I said please...
I Wondered if there was any way at all he could possiBly know Me
He touched me on the shoulder & ensured me that I was indeed
the APPLE of his eye,
He taught me that my...
My position was fortified
He showed me love through the pain and strife
He taught me patience when all I knew was pride
He allowed me to engage my mind,
put foolishness behind
speak the truth & live my life....
My God B merciful
In HIM I reside
Abide in the changing tides in life,
I conquer self time after time
In my mind I’m undefined, and it is here where I find rest
to live in fear and falsehood is worse than death
Simplicity is God; yet we've made Him so complex
So I forget myself then I remember God
As sure as the air I now breathe...
GOD.
Him forces men to their knees…
42
June Barefield
Like Air
so I let all my defenses go
Let my guard down
So maybe...
We can grow
One SouL Remembering not rejection
Gotta breathe her in
Like Air
what a blessing...
She’s like AIR
Fresh & aware
comparaBle 2 none
Inside I’m not thinking
Here we...
go
AgaIn...
we R friends
Pain,
we both know
Grew 2gether
many years ago
Neighborhood full of illusive
Illusions,
Destructive
Delusions,
Just hell'a confusing'
2 a younG thuGG'a
Penitentiary choosing' just like a Buster'
Learned 2 love & I,
I trust her, SHE...
she like
AIR
Gotta breathe her in
Like two half mOOns,
CONNECTED.
I let her in, and breathe again
Let the oxygen Flow…
43
B 4 The Dawn
44
June Barefield
DISCUSSION.
A lot of thingz in amerika were just done to soon; or mayB to late; or possibly not at all.
In Rome there's only one decree so a negro in this chasm best learn to speak Latin quite
clearly. For the dearly departed I poor out a little liquor in your memory; as I shiver
broken hearted. Me? Like my father, I suppose I just lived my life over and again making
the same unforgivaBle mistakes. I learned the game; then I loved the game, I wuz
obsessed with this game & finally played by the game. The game where black life has
less value than white property; Properly, the only song in my heart iz the low groan of
discontent, and distrust. This bitter taste in my mouth I have been told is love. The song I
sing it screeches with derision. Willie Lynch wrote the letters and today it's still division.
I'm a lonely acrobat just flipping in the system, lost my brother to these streets, and did
very little forgiving. Just living off my wits, giving back what I’ve been getting. My mind
is a cell, my eyes the purveyor of all these evil parallels. They taught me to read & to
write, but pretty much stopped right there; so beware of a brother in ameriKa who's
aware.. When I walk down the street and see them looking as they stare; they will not
hold my gaze, but now for me it’s about truth; so it’s you i dare. To this land I am a
stranger. There's a dark hole in my soul forever rising like my anger. It seems the cyber
nations got us hibernating; just a leisure class of negros who do nothing but debating.
This country tis of thee will only loosen up it's grip in order to get a tighter grip on your
shit. To be black is necessary, but somehow not quite sufficient. Illicit alliterations’
illuminated like the truth. From one brother to another these unwarranted delusions we
had best discuss with our youth...
45
B 4 The Dawn
Teach Them.
If the strongest muscle in ONE'S body iz the Brain; then...
Let us teach the children Metaphysical, spiritual type Ithaca’s
Beyond space & time or any Physical type systemz...
Ya Digg?
Let 'em do jumPing jacks wit H RaP
Scientific calisthenics; without the pretention of eugenics
Let 'em Lift weights with words
Observe the natural progression, when them apprehend the potential given freely from
them mentor
The apple is inside the child's eye
the CREATOR,
ReMeMber?
Ascend up into your abilities & embrace your power
Do Mathematical gymnastics with SuN TsO
Perfect 'em Judo, KunG fu by delving into Mandela,
Do pushups late night with Assata
Master the water...
Freestyle with Fanon
Stretch & flex with ChE’
EXERCISE YOUR BRAIN...
High jump with the knowledge of yourself
learn Y you R your brothers keeper
and neVer slay Cain
Remain untamed,
unchanged,
wild when provoked, but easily find the main frame
Begin Again; Time and again- Until they rememBer your Name
USE YOUR BRAIN.
46
June Barefield
47
B 4 The Dawn
Beyond my Horizons
In Aboriginal communities of what we now term Australia
To the lost worlds of the Tepius way down in Venezuela
From Ivory coasts triumphed on the prayers of lonely sailors
To arctic coasts where fire is ice and the resource is the land
To spans along the Niger
down past the Sahara
where fickle rains dominate a resourceful,
diverse community of African people
UNEQUALED.
From cliff side villages of the Dagon
to the shimmer and pearly luster of Timbuktu
Beyond my Horizons
Where magnificent suns slowly light up a scene as if magical
Beyond my horizons
Where ceremony is natural
Sculptured palisades, and fluted cliffs out of which waterfalls pirouette
The unlimited artistry of GOD'S own hand
Inside landscapes born of fire, and wind, and flood, and ice
In my imagined mind
Beyond my Horizons
Where winds rap and chime,
and just as quickly as they appear
the air is brisk and clear
Stillness once more dominates the air
Beyond my own Horizons
48
June Barefield
there R impenetrable mists
Quartz crystals in Brazilian hills
Where rapids rage then turn upstream,
and Crocodile's prey,
Reptilian monsters sun bath, and lay about all day
concave unyielding labyrinths convoluted and cracked
I imagine...
Beyond my Horizons
then I awake...
to imagine another day
Beyond this place
my cities cage
I escape...
Beyond my own Horizons
My imagination,
it RiSes...
49
B 4 The Dawn
Everything But
Seems before we obtain ALL these fancy things
the wondrous way we think and believe
they seem so wonderful
so full of hope
then after you've attained "it"
you find its just not so "
it" NEVER was quite so wonderful
You've got diamonds & Gold , beautiful landscapes to adore, fresh air;
Always warm when it's cold
You've Got rings, and precious things,
but in everything never consider your soul
You've chased the cars, and the clothes, purchased empty women in fancy panty hose
You've got nice gardens with daffodils, fresh daisies, and beautiful RED rose
Rows & Rows of shoes in your closet
How does one bird perch on more than just ONE branch?
Nonsense!
Simple truth or despising logic...
Your conduit is success
Treasure chest overflows with riches
certainly blessed from a worldly vision, and still inside you know something missing
Your mind's in Prison
Stuff is never enough after all this striving and arm twisting
Living the lie with the people you buy
Tell me please?
You're heart screams these things
50
June Barefield
LOVEJOYPATIENCEPEACE4GIVENESS
KiNdNess
GOOdness
FAITHFULNESS &
SELF CONTROL!
But you can't control yourself
Your self worth worthless when determined by your wealth
You've looked everywhere, inside everything besides yourself
To proud to ask another for help
To vain 2 care
You've got everything and inside your scared
Beware...
Everything iz nothing until; well, you begin to climb them stair's
Put death to death,
Be wary of the flattering, flapping tongue that lies in wait to snare
Find the music inside your soul and dance to the melodies of your heartstrings
that reside in there...
But no...
You've got EVERYTHING, but
LOVE.
When
LOVE iz...
EVERYTHING.
but...
what?
51
B 4 The Dawn
52
June Barefield
U Died
U died
then I cried
I tried and I tried, but
I could not get up
Depression them say...
Something inside me went away...
When U died...
had to get up
had to live on
I got up
Got up deadly & torn
got up angry & worn
When U died...
I blamed myself inside
When U died
I cried but...
I had to get up
had to move on
Life don't stop
It just moves right on along, so...
Inside of me U still live
You made me STRONG,
when...
U DIED.
4 BuGG’a
53
B 4 The Dawn
Daddy’s Gone
Yesterday
I remember
unlike those long dead
for me he's been dead so long
although striving and alive inside his own wrongs
I remember ONCE
my whole life long
I saw my Daddy
He cried...
Spoke of his own father and the day he died
I remember
Frets and fears 'bout tomorrow
In my heart I felt sorrow
Or maybe it was pity
The shitty way he did my momz
Was it Vietnam or your joB?
My momma she was strong
not strong enough to fight you off
The beatings, apprehension and the fear
The ridicule and degradation made it clear
Love?
It never did live here so...
SeLfiShlY,
I didn't cry that day
Refused to attend the wake
Momma and them, they can play that game
Knowing myself that when the silver chord is loosed
One must rest in the same bed he made
I'd often wonder then blame my mother
Blamed myself, sister, brother,
Every time joy would come and bless us
You'd come back around with the strife & stresses
Lessons learned from you i'd rather just undo
An everyday screen test or impromptu
54
June Barefield
Fucking up my focus at home, in life, especially in school
Cruel intent and zero affection
I've learned that the same demon haunting you, haunts me too
Inside my own furnace of affliction; although you're earthly trek B no more
Inside....
I still feel you
Praying that my God grant me three wishes
I rememBer you for what U did not do
The pistol you put to my head
Clicking the safety off; then on, promising me death
So from dust to dirt we go, and I do pray that your next guest
Be heavenly steps
Do I call U daddy, father or just confess...
I wanted so much not to give a fuck, but
I Do...
When I look at my reflection I see me, but
I remember
RememBer you...
Learned to love myself Daddy so I gotta Love you too
Love iz PAIN
I have my own son now and those chains you carried I must BREAK, then bury
Soon enough I will come visit you father
We'll sit and chat a while
Sip that nasty Scotch, "Cutty Sark" right?
Meanwhile life continues like paradigms shift
Whirlwinds blow wildly and although kindly I digress
It's your BLOOD that gives me life and pulsates in my chest
Rest now Daddy
Rest...
The rivers that once raved, the waterfalls, cliffs and caves
No longer rage
We shall turn this bloody tormented page together
Me and Momz, sister
RiP to my brother...
I wonder
55
B 4 The Dawn
If I remember you
will they?
Will they rememBer me as well?
It'll never go away
My time to mourn is today
I'll take my 40 days
Think it ALL through clear to the bottom,
Come back stronGer
I rememBer
Yesterday
Rest In Peace Father
I'm alive in this moment,
My hope is for tomorrow.
Today I can taste your sorrow,
Love Me, EvaMarie & my Momma.
56
June Barefield
What shall I feed?
According to what I feed
Almost always want
Hardly ever need
This "I" creature in me
My sense of self
The greed & gluttony
The envious way in which I covet Thee
Increasingly
You Know?
That same ole’ "quid pro quo" flow,
Words...
they desensitize the most nimBle minds
Hypnotize the uncircumcised spirit
hysteria ensues
the exaggerated hyperbole of hatred
the dastardly diatribe of deceit,
Ask a native ameriKan about wordz
Ask them of murder, mayhem, shame & defeat
The language of law
harbored within hearts and minds yet ill equipped
left to assume
So...
What I feed iz?
What will BlOOm...
Like lovely flowers nourished and groomed
consumed with goodness
Sub strata more than sufficient
efficient & effective, a reflection of
Earth
My turf you see
57
B 4 The Dawn
My inertia re birthed
brick by brick, built up to live
give back what I've taken
remake what I've broken
Speak life when I'm speaking'
Feed the seeds of love and forgive them,
Forgive them all their genius,
voice all of my volition without the vociferousness of hate
Wait...
take my time to ponder & wonder, but never procrastinate
It was "I" who ate this forbidden fruit
Now that I've been fed
I must feed this knowledge of good & evil
Maybe help another up who is stuck under glass ceilings of spite, prejudice, and
malevolence
contradiction is relevant on the coinz FliP side
According to what I feed
Love - Hate
war -peace
think on these things...
What shall we FeeD?
58
June Barefield
59
B 4 The Dawn
Begin Again
I travel light
might gotta freeze at night,
BOOts laced up 'hella tyght,
but I know Dawn'll RiZe & sunshine once again brings light,
Like in the physical
while ALL other principalities & powerz line up with the mental
Instrumental unspoken wordz choked back for lack
of direction
Intersection after intersection on roads crossed
'Cross Roadz neglected,
seemz I tote loads lost; not my own; yet
Life slows for no man,
Somewhere sits the ONE TRU GoD with an ultimate Plan
Like puzzle pieces that don’t fit
A circle inside a square boxed in & written out of an unintelligible skit
So...
I swallow mortality to find life in the process
Blessed & redressed to find some rest thru the test
Now time grindz down a suBlime mindz eye right, no need for left steps Bee cuz
I'm steppin' correct,
Compelled broken spellz, casting out demonz inside my own private hell
Just as the Sea iz peace & freedom for river, lake & stream
iz my own freedom, my own peace
inside the strawberry acid of my humanity,
Inside a dreamer’s dream...
Seemingly solace
A seeker of silence
ONE boundless drop am I
one man
just a fractured fraction
A tiny portion of what seemz to me,
60
June Barefield
A fearless plan...
Imagine if you had nothing on your handz but your own destiny
NOW BREATH DEEP & concentrate,
Or just sit idle at the doorstep, lying dormant on the doormat of otherz killing time
Until time KillZ you,
NOW EXHALE...
Fearless huh?
To spit on the past iz never enough,
Proclaiming grand planz for future endeavors will not quite suffice either
To plead your case when the reaper arrives iz also futile,
Who'z guile iz crocodile tyght?!
To imagine a new world iz to live it daily
Each glance, each step, each shady newfound precept
Every thought & gesture killing then recreating
Death seems to alwayz B one step ahead; or iz it life?
That victory within iz ever elusive & there really iz no end
We spend entire lifetimez just to begin again, and then
Just when you think you've balanced the Ying with the Yang
A cold, violent wind throws you back into another tailspin
Took your eye off the prize, huh?
Wanna win?
Pick yourself up, and
BEGIN AGAIN...
61
B 4 The Dawn
ANGER
My favorite emotion
the reason I live
like the elixir's hate potion
Perplexing & Personal
A prophetic un-daunting wave of unrelenting devotion
Perdition iz real
My demon revealed
Lie cheat steal?
nope.
My Anger it
KILLS...
no need to pop pills, snort lines, shoot doGG food, get codeine chillz
conspicuous inconsistencies my anger's release
a BEAST
and still...
I've cradled my anger
strangled my anger
endangered precious life
BEE cuz my anger wont die
I...
Placed my anger in chains, locks, boxes & cages
I fortified a position, but when "Rage" accompanies my anger
the NEGRO won't listen
To question my anger iz a dispossessing, but passionate en devour
My anger breaks teeth like fake saints buy truth
an absolutist
my anger is clever
It creeps and then crawlz
it leaps,
rises
then falls...
My anger
I learned Anger from angry people
62
June Barefield
My anger's like that unwanted sequel
I carry this baGGage trying not to let it B see through
A vessel am I
The drought belongs to my anger
When anger gets thirsty
mercy becomes pitiful
danger iz critical
My anger
he drinks...
His thirst iz so pivotal
like doctrine & ritual
my anger iz spiritual
My anger iz faithful so it truly lacks fear
Desiring nothing at all, but
destruction and dismay
A sensory sort of perception that seems to always find its way
My anger's a map
where all my failures are kept
from the north to the south,
and from east to west
See through?
My anger
my anger see's you
Peek A Boo!
Monkey see
Monkey do!!
the pain of my anger
the strain of this neighbor
never a stranger
the shame of my anger
My disdain for
this...
My Anger.
63
B 4 The Dawn
Nothingness
I suppose I dropped the ball,
can't Ball no more
posted up behind all these concrete walls
connected, intertwined, and fortified with steel wire & iron barz
Guarded by folk I believe, secretly want 2B me
insipidly, my consistencies remain untamed, but
I'm feeling' something differently
Inside of me
Nothingness iz my life
it seems as if
It
my life means
nothing.
Something’s pulling at heartstrings
I never knew existed
new things, desires never visited,
visit me here
I started out with a lil 50 dollar dub
Tryna’ come up, and B somebody, who's nobody; for somebody else
Hood rich when I moved up 2 a quarter,
Now I feel I’m felt
Got my own sack when I twisted my lil 50 bucks into a half,
Busted & bagged - RED flag intact 4 the flack, but
This aint livin'...
So many questions roam the inner recesses of me
Somehow I just don't know,
can't comprehend
contemplate,
my mediations alibi & ask
Right about there
that's when
Nothingness
My life comes back.
64
June Barefield
So here I sit...
In a dirty, dingy, two man cell
I got a celly, and he smells funny
He B trippin' on a daily, Bee cuz
His baby momma aint send him no money,
I flips a kyte upstairs 2 the upper deck
Gotta’ make sure the Komrades send me my portion of the spread
Feelin' this grumblin',
steady grumblin' in my tummy,
aint nothin' funny
but I laugh,
don't want to cry
might not B able 2 stop
stepped into this,
this nothingness
right about the time daddy climbed up on top...
For some,
this which iz
nothing
ness
Remains like a stain,
there iz no refrain
Never.
nothing is gained, inside of the pain
It grows.
into a cancerous type sore, that festers...
Until the flame that once burned alive, like
a meteor darting through a darkened , hallowed sky - just dies
IN...
Nothingness.
65
B 4 The Dawn
66
June Barefield
OUTLAWED
Strictly do I
Defy
what U claim normalcy's
supposed 2B
Why?
Bee- cuz
I,
we,
have been consumed
Doomed
when we collided
we died
Looking at life thru
Masters eyes
Initial contact with the alabaster
The master &
his bitch
Check out the melody Lil homeboy &
Peep the switch
is...
the funky lil cave bitch
with the Black buck's dick
it's dangling out
white gurlz lips,
Yet master
remains master
a country of lynchers
full of
Little Black bastards
not unlike me
Who I B ?
OUTLAWED.
67
B 4 The Dawn
Flawed, scarred & barred
21st century hoodwinks only
3/5ths of the fraud
comprehension’s unmentioned
BeeCuz, participation's our greatest
downfall
With relations unclaimed
Mindstate maimed, propagated & still enslaved
the frame-up did not stop; cease to exist, or give way
Geronimo was freed - INDEED
Now it seems...
NiGGa's R almost completely tame
I digress,
refuse 2 participate
OUTLAWED.
Pit the rich against the poor
Man
against his greatest asset
his reason
the other half of his light
now unconnected
assets made liabilities
delirious fantasies of
Freedom
from...
Freedom from...
Freedom from what?
another speech?
each one
reach out
teach one
Black is still the
most beautiful-ist thing
in the world...
Unfurled,
OUTLAWED.
68
June Barefield
Unlike the rope
pulled
in a hundred different ways
King Kottons Krown aint Brown
so it stays
tightly fitted,
the not
synched up
around your throat
So?
Die Nigger
If time is relative
our definitions defined nigger
die...
inside this ameriKKKan dream U R
so full of
Fear & doubt; that U should judge
but the more the
merrier
Molded from conception
delivered with a smack
placed on your back
We holler & look up
into the future
into the masters face
blue eyes
pale skin, as he gazes back silently
almost serenely
Secretly envisioning U shackled and strung
This is your dream
this is what awaits your newborn
son,
OUTLAWED.
Bee cuz Y?
that is...
Question number one
I must question the answer
answers that also enslaved my ancestors sons
69
B 4 The Dawn
With kingdom come humility, but
when will my kingdom come?
I know not wealth, so
I murder another murderer like
myself
I am deeply inside envy's
evil eye
from the outside of my cage
I look in
I am bound by relativity
inside a 7th sin pyramid,
trapped like a beast
From beginning to end
where shattered dreams
are fragments of hope
Battered remnants of old alliances,
demonized &
doped
to cope socially
severed chords vocally, when I won't
sing my
masters song
Dance my owners
dance
At a glance
I long for what lies on masters plate
I integrate,
wait...
play the game
turn my back on the truth
yet,
Outlaw that I am
I too must educate
Indoctrination take place,
and now I assimilate
But still
OUTLAWED.
70
June Barefield
So in these shallow waters we
wade
afraid,
Grass roots remain street
Rifts in these waters
of new destinies inside
new tomorrows
outlawed until borrowed time turns back
The hour glass of the ages
factual stages of true relations
Stand Still
All the kills R for survival
simply echo systems of this
circle without
borders
When the slaughter of
Sons & Daughters
is finally over, and
we R outlawed no more...
OUTLAWED.
71
B 4 The Dawn
VERSUS
WaR tribal
way B4 the arrival of the so called western BiBle,
BLACK KINGS did things we can only subscribe to, but never really rival
When I was a young thugg’a I was never really down 4 the funk
Saw my older relative beat an enemy to death, boy died in da gutter
Made me sit back and wonder,
"Y all these folk just standing around?"
He's gone die if don't noBody get him up off the ground
A generation later I’d face the dead boys brother on the same beef as his
Brand new day but,
Him tryna’ come back 4 the shyt; so...
what I gotta do iz handle my BIZ,
It’s deeper than the news, bluer than your truths, and cant nobody tell me nothing when
they attempt 2 reconnoiter & accuse
My muse iz a reality that need not B Xcused,
Just as STARz burn up then fall to the Earth
A NeGro in ameriKa gon' protect him turf,
Ignorance iz Bliss 4 some; this I understand
Worthless watered down comprehensions of he black man
From Ethiopia to Compton
Somalia to Chicago
From Rwanda to The BIG ApPle
For all the deceptions we swallow
Unabated & unrivaled...
72
June Barefield
.WaR alwayz triBal.
We realize & understand, but our own appeased pleasures wont admit to us
The earth iz our turf, but we gotta’ share it with another,
In the end; it's JUST us to blame
The flames of trepidation will not B smothered, doused, or covered
Cain slew Able so it's brother aGainst brother,
Sisters against mother
somebody run tell father,
but he don’t even bother
"WHY I AUGHTTA!!"
The man brought you a sword, and gave you armor for protection,
thinking HIM cOme to bring peace is dem' devils famous first deception
Think back to your inception if you have any recollection,
Ni99az always been considered suBversive
Put on a skirt 4 the system, now U the systems servant
CrAbz crawlin' out the barrel killing off the undeserving
The white manz bytch; just call the shyt what it iz
A step & fetch it African ameriKan that oughta be put in a ditch
Dr so & so; or Ole' Reverend gOOd news,
while the proletariat black man jus sings the blues
Line them negroz up, give 'em a bowl & spoon
Feed 'em hand 2 mouth, put 'em 2 work & Praise the White Jesus on Sunday afternoons
Keep 'em housed in an area, don't teach 'em shyt in school
Reverend Dr Good news, old so & so NeGro, preach his gospel about peace
less we beat the life out 'em cruel; Lynch em' up like WiLlIe, use separation az our tool
73
B 4 The Dawn
Fools gold we give, so partake in the hate,
Wait on your revolution; Or attend your REVOLUTIONARIE'S wake
Allegiance from a BLACK man to another BLACK man iz counter 2 our programz case
Dumb 'em down; Way dOwN, 'til they can't stand their own face
Make 'em hate each other, back bite, imitate, & then chase...
OUR ameriKan scheme designed 4 the NEGRO race...
While your overcoming and running'; Cheeks turned the other way
Made three left turns to the same damn place
Fussing about fighting…
Ducking the thunder while the lightning striking
Never been much 4 biting,
Writing my way out of dark shadows
Into the brightness of the rayz of sun shining,
Grind the grit out of the outlining,
Then I'm like EyE spying…
Never ever sleep cuz 2 me that’s something like dying
I think I can - cram 2 understand the underlying effect
Negroes catch wreck…while we supplying everything from 24 to 48 straight,
Waiting on line will get your ticket punched in the raw,
& carried weightless inside a wooden crate
My tradition wisdom…physicality physically phenomenal,
Line up the domino 4 the flow,
Show the doe to a tricky individual
& let a hoe know...
Insane is unrestrained
74
June Barefield
The main frame iz maimed,
gamed by the system
Cuz a nigga would not listen to the drum triBal,
No rival, uncensored categories & stories
Crime lore for more wickedness –
UnREstRained twistin' this…
Got these niggas act in up in storied fashion
Buck buck & the whatch a ma call it BLAST ‘em
Counts a lil bit a cash on that ass, dash, mash on me gas, and
Get up, & get "Grape Ape" on that ass …
Un res trained
I've read the history of my enemy; then tried and failed to tread where it led
I've peeped through the scope of the superior
Consciously made to feel inferior,
Looked through the lens of the Caucasoid malnourished and unhealthy; never really
being fed anything that would help me
See...
I've seated myself in front of buses, turned cheeks the other way, while cracka's stomped
merrily on my head
This same treatment I get today...
From anthropology to the economy my biology iz evolution,
Yet I seek not my own solution;
Instead...
Through my children I only recycle the same pollutions
I've exiled Marcus Garvey,
75
B 4 The Dawn
I've murdered Malcolm X,
I've been taught Lincoln freed the slaves,
That Thomas Jefferson, him wuz blessed
Columbus discovered ameriKa;
The Christian bible not my text
This simply adds to my confusion
This illusion that I’m living's been wound up so tight
From my father to his father, to fathers way back through time
We remember only the chime of the winds on that slave ship that night,
The crimes of this ameriKa forgiven, and in return where given poverty, and prison,
while the upper class caste of ameriKan Negros R only pigeons
Parroting religion, science, and the policies of your democracy's Hypocrisy dominates the
schisms inside this negro prism
My environment socially is an arrangement OF INSTITUTIONS
Taught to worship education, like we worship this white Jesus
Whatever this white man appoints for us becomes our appeasement
To dream this ameriKan success story categorically being framed,
Is to deny yourself of yourself
To tame a wild horse; just after you've rendered him lame
Brothers become brothers, teach ~ONE another the way
Obtain the Knowledge of yourself
Thru this understanding grow in faith
IN my eyes at least
Well…
That's the only way.
76
June Barefield
77
B 4 The Dawn
Tell ya’ Neighborhood…
Not enough talking' bobble heads 2 go around
Ni99az probably just need 2 clone these clownz
My smile iz upSide DowN
U ask Y this frown never leaves my face?
I answer...
“BEE CUZ inwardly; I’m so enraged!”
The stage iz being set so graBB a plate, fork, but keep ur silver spoons
GraB up ya knife, and go fetch ya gun & call up the GOONz
SooN them say, but I never cared anyway so...
get ole' man JeSSe on the phone,
get a wire 2 slick Al Sharpten while I sharpen up this blade, and line up these hand
grenades
it's way past the time 4 your debt 2 B paid,
In full...
Hen pecked ass niggas want to keep hope alive & play the fool for sycophants chanting
fancy rants bout freedom,
CrumB chasing Dum DumZ, we don’t need 'em,
Sitting' here asking' myself, Y, what, when, who & how
Follow me NOW...
Lil black boys being murdered for walking & minding their own
Cracker’ pull the trigga’, and he jus get 2 go on home?
Baby girls Being killed tryna’ get juice out da store wit nothing’ but a nap sack
Anxious, scary Korean woman blows her brains out the back
Er’y body got some kinna’ grudge except the black
"We shall Overcome" iz A 1963 RaP, so go 'head wit that
In fact hold out your hand - makes no difference what kind of brand
Black, White, Puerto Rican, or Jew...
My Prayers 4 retribution & my prayers 4 you,
What ni99az need 2 do iz start a new
Do a Lil Suburban, Rural renewal without anybodies approval
What I’m talking 'bout iz your complete removal
If I wuz u I’d call them people quick,
tell ‘em come serve & protect your shyt
tell em bring they vest, and some XTRA clips
cuz when we MOBB thru that bytch, we sinking titanium battleships
78
June Barefield
If U cant here me ni99a then jus read my lips,
"WATCH THIS!"
Being tired of being sick & tired iz getting hella’ tiring
The mistreatment of my peoples, the women & the children
U murder babies, main boyz, kill gurlz to keep us from building
But cant nobody hold this back
Power 2 the People don’t mean break a ni99az back
For TRAYVON MARTIN, his Moms & fam
For ALL the innocent ones being led 2 the slaughter, like lambs
I bow my head and pray
Pray 2 find the way
pray 4 today
ask my GOD 4 tomorrow
but if tomorrow don’t come, let 'em know about today
Today iz the day the Lord made to wipe away your sorrows for the LONG HAUL
We aint goin' nowhere - This iz where we stay...
4 TRAYVON MARTIN & HIZ FAMILY - 'SPECIALLY HIZ Moms
4 ALL THE YOUTH BEING SLAUGHTERED WITH NO RETRIBUTION or
JUSTICE
shame on U & shame on me,
change iz gon’ come or....
WE JUST TAKE IT 2 THE STREET.
That’s were it all Began any fuckin’ way!
"WATCH THIS!"
79
B 4 The Dawn
Letter 2 my friend
Hey homie,
Seems some things NEVER change. U know my love for U iz one of those things that
most may deem strange. RememBer when... When we were young? Gunning and
running, loving the life. We're all grown up now homie; it's time we learned to live this
life right. Can U recall when it wuz all fun and games. Writing B O Y Z on da wall, The
GrEEks, and misspelling our names.!. Them was the days. All the Sundays at the park.
Playing hide and go get the draws’, without a cause, pausing never - Man we thought we
wuz clever. Somewhere, somehow all this elation was severed. Youth authority, county
jail houses, army dormitories, drug laboratories... Penitentiary staBles, Plenty WAR
stories. We separated, but never in spirit. U did that EAST side thing, and after they
Killed BuGGz; I too would succumB to this GangLife, PaRK hILL MY ONLY WIFE. In
retrospect homie we never stood a chance. At first glance one might think our Boo Boo
didn't stank. But you know, and I know it stank high to heaven, and even caused the devil
several twists, gave his finest bitch in RED dress a lisp.!. We were best friends on
different sides of the game. A game I truly wish we never played man. To comprehend
the meaning of a lesson, one must divulge himself fully, and stop all the falsehood, and
pretending. We were just Boys that thought we were men. Never shown; or given an
example to follow... You know? From real men! We took all our cues from street
soldiers, pimps, prostitutes, and convicts. Some even tried to steer us clear of all the
bullshyt that they themselves encountered; Speaking knowledgably of the Truth, and love
& light... We'd just laugh it off, and continue in our stride. False Pride we built up inside
towering above, and all around us; just like the monstrous superstructure that iz ameriKan
culture. A vulture's pic-nic, and we ate plenty...
80
June Barefield
Many many men have died, and we've both seen the eyes of the mothers who've cried on
both sides... RED or BLUE homie; it doesn't even matter. As Black men finally; we've
got to come a new, and help to pick up the pieces we've helped to scatter. YUP. There's a
time and place for everything under the sun. God has a mighty plan, and you and I must
synchronize our lives inside this belief; for that thief has already been successful at
stealing many a souls in our inner circles... I am and will forever B your friend homie, but
we goTTa come a new. All of our excuses R now useless, and the waters inside that
reservoir have effectively turned to slime. To drink again from those wells is certain
death; We gotta watch our step. Now more than ever B4... Carefully, cautious,
calculating each move. The turtle wins the race homie... We goTTa come a new! Today,
Tomorrow, and the rest of the way thru this thing called life. Me & you. We goTTa come
a new...
Love,
Your friend
PS- I will B praying for you, and holding you down until they let you out of that cage
again man. This time we win!!!
AgAin. We will "BeGin AgAin..."
81
B 4 The Dawn
YESTERDAY
Hello yesterday...
Here we go again
I dreamed you were gone, moved on; so...
Why do you haunt me so?
If it weren't 4 you,
my reason
every reason 4 regret,
I think I might be able to 4get
Like...
2 strangers who never met,
A letter written, but
never sent
Yesterday.
Always dwindling in the corner of my mind
My ambassador 2 the past
a ghostly figure, somehow caught between 2 worlds
Both of which R all mine
4 all the yesterdays 2 come
4 some un promised future date,
I have empowered myself with all that I am
Yet...
There R times I am more vulnerable than an infant child,
a butterfly in a hurricane,
a snowflake in hell
82
June Barefield
Seems I,
I slip away so completely that there is nothing left of today.
My 24hr destiny...
Me, myself & a ni99a's third eye
Still here
Still alive,
Striving; then arriving - Me thinks...
Somewhere just "B4 the Dawn"
So, goodbye yesterday,
I’m thinking finally about tomorrow
Hello today!
Here we R at last, and
I' m wondering just what it is you will bring,
Good news?
Condemnation? Or?
Do the two of you conspire together?
Is yesterday whispering secretly in your ear?
Fear & doubt?
Is that what the two of you scheme about?
YESTERDAY
Today
tomorrow...
Here we go again))))))))))))))))))))))))))))
83
B 4 The Dawn
NOTIME
Knelt down today, but not 4 to long
to much 2 do,
had 2 get to work
Bills been due
So, I knelt down & said one of them hurry up type of prayers
then I jumped up off my knees
feeling flakily like...
my duty was done, and somehow
my Soul could now rest at ease
All day, and even yesterday
everyday 4 a long while
I just; well...
I had no time
I could have spread a little cheer
In reality Christ & His sacrifice
they were as far away & as empty & bottomless as Jacobs well
Well...
With no time to speak of the glory of the savior of the world
My time tics- it tocs
never enough time &
Time don't stop
Now I could have made some time
Time to spend telling a lost soul about
TIME.
Could have made a difference, but
84
June Barefield
I had way 2 much to do
Me?
I had not the time
my constant cry
it wasn't for souls in need
it wasn't 'bout much of anything
it was all greed
it was all me,
TIME.
Time I went B4 the Lord again
shook ONE a them Christian's hands
took a stand
did the right thing
4 the right reasons
My people die daily for the lack of knowledge - They...
Run out of TIME.
In time the Book of Life will B opened, and
the pressures of a life lived so completely enveloped,
trying so hard 2 cope with
TIME...
When mind, body, soul, & SPIRIT become ONE
My Judge, He will have the time
He iz Time, but
will my name B found?
Them say it's all been written down
Let's make the Time.
85
B 4 The Dawn
86
June Barefield
LOVE LETTER
Dear Love,
I don't know how much of this you'll B able to understand, but
Comprehend my mission, a message from one heart to another,
my friend and my lover...
I miss you
I love you
I need you
I want you
Love...
Our love has always been dealt with through all types of diversity,
Anniversary after anniversary
I tried your love
Well...
You seem to have passed my little foolish tests
Confession time...
I'm a mess
You've held me down, when there was no one else
Self sufficient, above all the rest
You R my love,
above all else
Love...
If I could draw a line
I’d hope it'd stay precise- never perfect, but
Parallel & right
If I could choose a course
a source of origin
a force to forage with;
My choice is made
Love...
to trade a love for the lust of life,
to dance in circles that have past me by,
to realize a love & continue the fight;
Yes, my love, you R my life...
Love...
87
B 4 The Dawn
You've been my backbone on so many occasions
no need for persuasion,
This is where my unknown knowable me conceives of peace, that U have trusted &
believed - You Know?
When one truly achieves the trust of another human being - Two souls struggling 4
survival, knowing the unknowable belief
Two half MooNs - Connected, now in the FULL light of the oracle set forth
Two travelers together, learning what we need 2 know as we go
By-passing all the rage & the greed we've been subjected to in this unholy sieve
It seems...
We both have been steeped in a tradition of sedition, impure religion, and impractical
resistance
To you my love, I vow...
My life
my love
my hope,
my every inner me
My past iz over & my future I vow...
Belongs 2 you.
My Love...
We continue the fight.
Sincerely,
JuNe
PS - No adversity separates my heart from thee, our union iz of GOD; a mountain that
has no peak...
88
June Barefield
When Death Dawns
don't trip
this I know is 7EVEN
the flip side - DEATH'S gate
judgment - HEAVEN
Life's little riDDle complete
Please don't morn 4 me,
though I spent many years wondering to myself
Is the world ALL greed?
So many insecurities,
Knowing now that my greatest infirm,
It was my very own reality; so...
When Death DaWns
Don't trip
If One never lOOks to find that quiet place inside
This Life...
It's hit or miss
Folk I know & everywhere I go
for profits sake them profile,
B it fashion or philosophy
Legislating hate never considering their fate,
but...
When Death DaWns;
Will them enter them gates pearly?
or...
Will they B tossed into that fiery lake 4 a surety?
Up early this morn,
Thinking about death when it dawns
Had to laugh at death & darkness & the idea that this exists,
The complete ridiculousness that we're taught from the day we R born
When Death DaWns
Don't trip,
4 this day I hold ZERO fear
Clearly I decipher life's continuous ongoing cycle's
Conception, birth, life, death iz ONE~
89
B 4 The Dawn
My last breath,
it lives on
What's steering me no longer eerily haunts this soul
When Death DaWns
Finally!
I give up control
Personally...
without being in any type of rush
I long to meet my GOD, maybe sit back and discuss
FAITH, HOPE & LOVE
Praise the SON,
Possibly even my own little life's paragon,
my ONCE around this circle
inside life's cipher,
Somewhere
Someone has been served Positively
this iz my hope, so...
When Death DaWnz
Don't trip.
90
June Barefield
Lately
The weight of circumStance seemz determined 2 take it's stance,
make it's advance,
Tryna' break my back
You know...
I do my daily dance,
take my walk & have my talk way B4 the Dawn, but
LATELY~
My talks R shorter & my walks like MURDER
My dance with the DevILz the only thing i'm really sure of...
LATELY~
It's difficult 2 discern the places inside,
the traces of hate & pride...
Seems they’re fighting one another just 2 Blok out my LIGHT,
ONE always asks, "who am I?",
the other is once again tryna,
Tempt a Ni99A 2 rYdE...
LATELY~
I'm up way 2 late at night,
My sleep's not slumBer,
it's really hard 2 find...
I think I know...
the fight's not mine 2 fight,
BUT...
The fight's my whole entire life so...
I still try & fight,
LATELY~
The things I thought I shook off; they once again INVADE me
BUT...
I can FEEL a lie,
I can see it in your eyes,
knowing....
U won't face me, and
By faith i’m justified;
It might sound Crazy,
but lately; something inside me maGnifies my life.
LATELY~
91
B 4 The Dawn
IRON
The death of GOD must have left the anGels in a strange position
In that moment...
Certainly overcome they had to ask the question,
Poor now forsaken The Angels....
New to questioning
unaccustomed to terror
Not skilled in loneliness
What of their own holiness?
Men & Angels Designed to adore
explore realms in helms very few visit anymore
At the core Inside the breath
The life force
From the mountain laurel, above the clouds where the eagle soars
Always & forever more
There iz HE
Thru the sunshine, torrential rains & the dark
Where ONE word of explanation has already misses it's mark
Men & Angels...
Lonely loving strangers
There is HE.
92
June Barefield
SWORD
I dreamt last eve
Like a nightmare stitched and sewn from worn down prose
I encountered the BLACK ROSE
The shadow of a cross hung from the foot of my bed
I see an anchor being lowered as chains clank and bang against my consciousness
Incandescent incantations like interposed vertigo spinning sensationally out of control
I see, hear, feel, touch...
The vanquished vernacular of the over anxious passenger just passing by thru life
I see myself in this crowd
Loud and proud in a shroud of dust rained down on in a mist of confusion compounded
by rage
Then...
I see a page
It is filled with the beautiful calligraphy of my very own biography
There are words that make phrases, syllables that form words
Paragraphs built in stages like when the ancients constructed monuments that'll survive
thru the ages
Now I lie awake in a cold dark room where it seems the bed almost touches the ceiling
Reeling in a state of semi cognizance, I recall a gift
Given to me not from men, but
FROM HiM!
Still the shadow is cast across the paneling of the walls where someone is kneeling
I look to my left
In the next room which is the parlor, I see ALL of my relatives assembled
Past, present, and even future generations of me
My "FAMILY Tree"
They sit about in a humongous semicircle
It seems they are waiting for me to enter
Suddenly I remember something we've all long forgot
"Clearly chrysolite, sapphire, and Lil Rubie"
The SONs & Daughters poem is quoted like the tick of the clock when it tolls midnight
for not
Then it just STOPS!
SILENCE ensues
93
B 4 The Dawn
My attention then returns back to my ancestral assemblymen & women
They sit stiff, rigid, and upright
upholstered just like the chairs they adorn; Without a smile
Without so much as a single crease in their jowls
I enter this assembly walking about on my hands for them
I turn somersaults, do handsprings, I put my fingers between my teeth, and whistle like a
BLACKBIRD
Other than me
No one speaks
Still they sit
Without approval or disapproval
Silent, solemn and imperturbable,
THis diocese of dinosaurs diplomacy to me seems indignant!
Unnerved...
I begin to snort like a BULL, I prance like when the leopard leaps into a heap of herding
sheep,
I strut like a peacock; then, when I realize I have no tail, I quit!
Wondering to myself...
Is this real?
Am I awake or asleep?
The only thing left to do is to read this Holy bible of libel and transgression
I flip the pages reciting paragraphs at lightning speed
I look down at my Script and there's the book of NUMBERS, chapter 23
I am now petrified with fright, but don’t quite know why
I raise my eyes and see a man standing in the doorsill
He stands their gazing upon me firm and strong; yet very still
He wears a gRey derby with a red sash slashed across the brim cocked to one side of his
head
He has a flowing mustache connected with a glorious beard, dressed in an ALL black suit
He begins questioning me
Name
Address
Profession
All sorts of prying sort of questions to which I am unable to respond
Way beyond my own reality
94
June Barefield
I realize I have no tongue
no voice, and
I cannot even remember the language that I speak!
Then left right front center; and oblique...
Unique dialects, unfamiliar texts,
The spoken word profoundly preserved
Poets spoke of revolutionary quotes, bank notes burned; while book notes arose
Powerful prose synchronized, not from the consciousness of mere clones
Then there on the wall the shadow of the cross...
It was I who knelt; just confirmation of my own growth
A voice spoke; Inside my own spirit I could hear it so clearly it frightened me...
Saying, "Prepare yourself and arise
Speak to them what I command you, and
Do not be dismayed before their faces
Lest I dismay you before them
I give you these words freely; now open your eyes
This day you've been made
Inside you a city fortified with faith
Iron pillars adorn your countenance,
Bronze walls protect the residence which is you
Roust the sleep of the rulers, the foolish, the meek, and the proud
Awaken the dead from their sleep, and dismantle the shroud..."
"YOUR PEN IS YOUR SWORD MY SON!"
"Your time is NOW"
"USE IT WISELY FOR...
we've only just BEGUN, and
B4 the DAWN arises
Your work shall be done."
"YOUR words are weapons, Your PEN is your SWORD
ARise from your ashes ...
Speak your PEACE 2 the world!!"
95
B 4 The Dawn
96
June Barefield
People need Hope
Readily do I recognize the devil
Him steady shoveling shyt for a promise, promised to several
painting perfect pictures painstakingly in vain through some preacher in his prose
People, they need hope; so
Him sell it like dope
Steadily do I dance in the light of only half moons
Headily I’m cautious w/0 a healthy seed to plant, nourish, and groom
Soon them say...
In the meeting places of man & his religions
A greeting house of fakeness
Nickel slick hustle of fancy talk, and educations
replacing real with dress code, concert quire, and 5dollar CD package
Hustling the Truth, and guarding it with lies...
Them "dancing with the devil in the shadow of the pail moonlight"
Sight unseen right?
Inside minds EyE I contemplate meditations now a gasp
Perhaps a remedy will relieve this unsettling poison lying dormant in my gut
The Lion of Judah; Him courage don't corrupt
Iz your love of God a mere mental masturbatory copulation?
A fraud?
Your morality to me iz odd...
From the preacher in the pulpit,
I see a culprit who interprets Truth; then sells you some bullshyt
Frustrating signs from a bunch of baffling, babbling buffoons’,
Silver tongued diviners who dine with golden spoonZ
I have taken a look around,
I've actually walked the ground, from my town to yours
I see the poor sent off to War,
still we pity the un-pretty & aint no love in the city
From the boulevard in which I grew, to the avenues of my youth
PEOPLE NEED HOPE.
97
B 4 The Dawn
U sell it like dope,
an old Wino comes into the church house in order to get out of the cold
U rush him to the back pew
sit him right by the doe'
When U leave the sanctuary you snicker & joke
The sinister inflections I can hear in your voice
U pull up to the store & lock all your doors
U see sufferers all around
Ur self righteousness abounds
Your astounded, surrounded by what seem to be your own
Old woman inside, she 'bout a dollar & a half short
U standing' right behind her & could have easily given,
you're to pious inside to even consider a loan
So you sway back & forth with nothing refreshing to say
thinking, I’ve given to my church home, I wish she'd just get out the way
"What would Jesus do?" written above license plates,
Can't U see the church staring you right in your face?
Your message iz toxic, quixotically nauseous, extravagantly nonsense
all you really do iz take, and you expect your recompense
Suspended in your animated, made up cheap grace,
Easy believe-ism schisms, running the rabbits race,
I see it in the eyes of the despised
What you obviously don’t realize...
PEOPLE need HOPE.
Y U sell it like dope?
98
June Barefield
Priority #1
From the remains of all of these cancerous sores
Where the hostilities and inconsistencies leave tattoo teardrops
Where caskets lock, then six ni99as drop the remains inside earth for new crops
Where Priority stops
Our Priorities...
Where are they?
collectively neglected inside our appeasement
We call it worldly achievement
SCARFACE dreamz,
"the WORLD, and every little thing in it..."
I mean, As a people
"We, the Nigga'ro peoples..."
We've accepted a BLACK history taught by white women
NOW.
" We, the niGGa' ro peoples..."
We worship everything from money to madness
Sadness has become our collective sadistic ritual
Animalistic futures
Twisted on NIKE, Cadillac, AK 47's, and cRacK sacks...
Our own priorities have us reeling in pure devilish delight
A lust created by fiction, gluttony as it's been written, envy and sloth is a daily solution;
The least of our prioritized addictions
PRIORITY #1> JAH!!
He is evolution...
4-3 = ONE~
So how did division become a solution?
As a people...
WE.
"the Nigga' ro peoples..."
Our priorities include the support of a government that have our younger brothers, our
sisters & cousins at WAR in these streets that we do not own
I SAT ALONE.
At the grave sight of my brother for way to many years now
My priorities straightened out now, while fear and rebellion run neck and neck;
99
B 4 The Dawn
unchecked
as white folk, and their willing black sycophants serve us up a plate of prioritized lies
PRIORITY #2
Revenge is served up cold
On a plate that we own
Priorities?
Please...
The so called "African ameriKan negro" doesn't even have a GOD of his own
Priorities are a lot like integration
Replace the hate and disgrace of all of that; and then...
LOOK me in my face...
Vote or Die?
I think I prefer to control my own while I
PRIORITISE.
Why?
Prioritizing as a people collectively is all hype and slander,
the propaganda we gather
Sounds so damn delightful to the ear though, huh?
ORIGINAL MAN STAND UP!!
JAH is watching
HE's waiting
the same way HE commands you to
PRAISE JAH!
That's what you were born to do
Prioritize nothing until you have the knowledge of yourself, and believe in something
So very many jewels have been stolen
So much of this amerikan suffocation until our COLLECTIVE prioritization is equal, and
equivalent to another pain killer
Bayer or Bufferin
The TRUTH of something substantial has been hidden from the world
Or maybe?
JUST US...
Justice is a dope head ni99a bitch on a park bench, sucking a judges lawyers little white
dick
Somehow she's not a collective priority of ours though,
Ya Know?
100
June Barefield
B4 the Dawn arrives the realization of the dreams of an entire BLACK NATION
complete with BLACK education
total segregation
A BLACK revelation
REVOLUTION,
The Truth is the only indication of...
GROWTH.
So tell me?
When will we
"the nigga' ro peoples"
give this ameriKan nightmare up and begin to...
Breathe again. COLLECTIVELY. When?
101
B 4 The Dawn
Hey! Get in that cell nigga!
102
June Barefield
Now we're Living thru a time where inside is out, where love is douBt
So "In GOD we Bust"
Instead of aiming pistols at the authorities, they're pointed straight at us
Now some poot but wants to sit around a taBle talking' bout something he'll never love,
and that’s Just-us
"We shall overcome"
"keep hope alive"
"rock the vote" ass negroes get to the back a da Bus
Working' in unison with the very men who shackled and strung us up,
and aint nothing' changed but the names in the game,
buying up the truth, lying to the youth; then begg 4 a vote from you to maintain platforms
for white menz,
and the systematic destruction of Black love, destroying the family structure from within
"GET yo AZZ 'N' that CELL NiGGA!"
and then "BEGIN AGAIN"
Now you on them people's PAPERs; Fool, you'll never win
I don't know those over there sitting with him,
Starbuck chucks with ivory tower type bucks tryna keep me stuck
Keep a ni99a in the hood fucked up on they drugs
The cup iz half filled up, and totally corrupt
The Pride of life turns blind eyes for the lust of life inside delusional minds
YUP.
This loVe of self gonna catch us up...
So...
"GET 'N' that CELL NiGGa!!"
or ride with us; at least WAKE THE FUCK UP!
DEPRIVATION
103
B 4 The Dawn
~My UrBan analysis.
From dislocated, destitute destinies
~A generational paralysis
This dialectic liberal diatribe like diarrhea runs off the lips of ALL your appointed leaders
Dislocated socially from the lumpen proletariat,
the MAJORITY of the peoples
the "self" perpetrating pathology of the inner city’s anatomy
Interpret the empirical data's processed; then turned to vapor
diffused into the crystallization of another well developed devious caper
Diagramed behavior’s.
Welfare dependant neighbors.
Never no 40 acres...
Your ancestors’ enslavers remain just that
ENSLAVERS.
Lower class, middle class, working class; All remain under class
Under the glass ceiling created by the assumed staBility of the upper class
Isolated and inextricably subordinate to Charlie, "Jim Crow", and his cheesy ass willing
Negro sycophants.
~DEPRIVATION~
This Time
104
June Barefield
My masterpiece iz hanging on the wall right?
My stirr of echoes sings the blues
My suede shoes R painted blood RED
Some unfamiliar process I rememBer now
While all around me
the people I know
they no longer grow
ONE by one they...
they ALL fall;
FALL dead.
I've spent enough of my time sitting remembering & wondering
This Time...
I answer the call in the midst of the thundering,
Shed the dying skin inside of my mind and rekindle the flames burning within for the
memory of kin
MAYBE...
"BeGiN aGaIn"
For seconds, minutes, hours, dayz, Years...
I've wrestled with something
"NOTHINGneSS..."
With GOD, the devil; With myself
I can see my unholy trinity just bluffing it's way all the way down to the very gates of
hell,
I plan to live to tell...
I'm like a cartridge that's jammed inside the gun that's my heart
Slammed up against the bolt, twisted amongst other bullets never 2B fired, and find their
mark
Sparks fly az I slapp the magazine of my life
I pull back the slide,
I observe inside checking the setting
Forgiving w/o forgetting the oppression that accompanies all this unnecessary
bloodletting
This Time...
I'll beat these streets tapping the rifling, breath out slowly & hold; then SQUEEZE 2B
FREE
The bullet of wordz
I shoot, move, communicate, secure, and then sustain my PEACE
105
B 4 The Dawn
This Time...
Truth is actuality
My central & only preoccupation
My demonstration of particular possibilities
This Time...
Brought into complete unblemished focus
these existential acts asserted, influenced by goodness & spoken unbroken
5 senses R no longer hijacked by the hocus pocus of the 6ixes; trapped inside pentagramal diagram's of flim flam and sham
This Time...
After reflecting in prayer for 6 hours & 66 minutes, requesting 7 absolutions inside 77
blessings;
I've witnessed the SON explode and heard GOD's confessions
An elated revelation built from the ground up with an impeccable foundation through
time and illusion
I look inside
There iz only now
Time iz an illusion...
My solution found
THIS TIME~
Family Tree
106
June Barefield
I got a sister named wisdom, another named raw
Like the teeter & the totter - the See & the saw
Somebody should of learned 'em all the things they weren't taught
I gotta daddy named disaster, mama named grace
Gotta granny named pistol
3 uncles named shame
Gotta' elder named Jackie,
she told me I better change
I...
I gotta partner named pride
an Auntie named vice
Had a bytch named flattery
she committed suicide,
Gotta X wife named lie
Three ni99az who testified,
I gotta right named the 5th - Never amended, So I ride
Gotta nephew named prison; and he Aint nothing but some time;
ME?
Well...
Alwayz been down 4 mine...
Got a Heart named desire and GOD told me to climb
Got another auntie named affliction, an uncle we call addiction
Gotta few relatives that's twisted, animalistic & sadistic
Gotta friend I call consistent
A few females that's resistant,
I got a niece I call the future
a relative I know will shoot ya'
I gotta daughter named faith, and a son named hope
another nephew called achievement; Heaven sent and I’m believing'
Him break down the barriers, and baggage of our bereavement
Spent way to much time watching UNKLE throughout the seaZons
Gotta God named Love, and a devil that can't cope,
Him alwayz weaseling around tryna' cut a ni99az throat
Had a GrandDad named work, another called War
The roots of the Willow, they don't weep no more
107
B 4 The Dawn
Gotta brother named life, another called death
I walk in between the two, gotta’ watch every step
Gotta auntie named Lethargy, she slept on her gift
Uncle named Jealous, he's envious of himself
Gotta sister named Glutton, she never gets enough
Got a homeboy named inmate; He tucked away in the ruff
Got All these folk, and many, many more
We've laughed, cried, and died; sweating thru the same pores
Gotta a groove called movement, gaining momentum, BEE cuz it's soothing
Like leaves on branches; My Roots in dirt,
4 whatever it's worth - My family I adore
Whatever was will be, Bee cuz it's already been
I got a message called LOVE, I hope they can comprehend
Together we stand through every hardship & loss
Tossed & shaken, but forsaken not never,
Cleverly blended see...
we'll B family 4EVER
It's my FaMiLy TrEe peace, Like my spirit & my soul
Destination Peace,
this the Lord controls
HE's the eye in me, the WE in those, and
Him always guarantee I shine all hundred spokes
For some path untraveled, some date unseen
I gotts all these folk, and they all inside of me
I embrace 'em ONE & All, BEE cuz I AM this rustic Tree...
TranZfusion
108
June Barefield
Realities just another fundamental flaw
Cosmic,
Cosmo Demonic
It seems an army of men, women, and children have passed
Inside a drowsy, drunken, divided, downtrodden, stupor - Stupid!
The bourgeois get no vengeance
They're higher ups - Logic Ironclad
Can you see the traks they leave?
The temporarily "out of order" signs;
written in Greed...
The Dream of a sick ameriKa
from messenger, to operator, to manager, to chief, to superintendant; then vice president
A resident evil
The money gods
god of gods, transforming people
The day B4 the apocalypse...
Walk through the night crowd protected by money
Dulled by money, lulled by money; the crowd itself a sort of money; Breathing money
No object exists that is not money
Money - money everywhere, but still...
not enough money
If you have it or not; it's money that counts, and
Money makes money, but
what makes money, make money?
Funny fables & unlearned lessons- Cursings & blessings
All the physical forces line up with the mental, colliding with the spirit; at war for the
soul
Something's been set in place
On a plate like revenge, best eaten cold
A spiritual Ithica - No ritual
peep the prose...
Down this street no flower ever grows, no miracles pass; although the sun shines, and it's
rays strike squarely
No Rose.
Strange...
The heart of ameriKa's emptiness
109
B 4 The Dawn
A relentless back & forth into & out of
NothingNess.
Somethings Demonic
There's a hideousness that exists right between the twists
Man's treatment of man
Man's treatment of nature
Beyond optimism or pessimism
New schisms like prisms inside pendulums
A continual oscillation between extremes
It seems...
The full flavor of emptiness we've tasted
No?
If so, i'm paralyzed with introspection
Outside I look into this
this wild extravagance
Glance into this axis of flux & rotation
Humiliations & defeat end not in the frustration of futility, but Hunger
A hunger that's ecstatic
Transfigured & laid bare- Beware!
Savage lyricism traverse intangible gridirons on scorched portions - Brand new extortions
Scars burned away, refined inside the furnace of affliction
Segregated from the illusion of wholeness, the illusion of chaos
Congratulate yourself!
Life is passing away
See all of your crumbling monuments
Your superstructure demolished, destroyed in moments
Feel the wind?
It burns as it blows down all the dead
All the hollow insides rot
Follow me now
you who are over civilized
Life is passing
Art is passing
Congratulate yourselves!
All that is sacred & taboo in this life
Meaningless.
110
June Barefield
Our fight is with shadows & dust
More calamities, more death, more despair
No indication of change anywhere
The cancer of time
it eats at us
it's eating us away
No escape.
Seems the weather will not change
Congratulate yourselves!
This is not a book
This is the libel of a crook, the slander of an Outlaw
OUTLAWED,
like this...
A prolonged insult
A swift kick in the ass of your god, your money, man, destiny; to time itself
to beauty & health
This visits me in intervals
between dreams
I can see spots of time
Shedding it's skin
A cadaver where reality is written
where sufferers are smitten
This world is a snake-pit
This is where the viper is bitten
do my intentions alarm you?
I don't charm no snakes
I exterminate, eradicate; then snatch my apple off your plate
Where the carnival of lights, on the midway of life does acrobatic leaps & flips;
from style to style
I allow my mind to tempt these ideas; to play with my fears
Follow me...
While I murder some unseemly sentiment synchronized in shadow, severed in silence
Look over my manuscript
the panorama perplexing, pages scrawled about with revision
like looking at myself in a mirror that's cracked
broken bits & pieces, blocked out creases of time & thought
Pages & pages of literature
111
B 4 The Dawn
A sort of sieve through which my anarchy is strained
With a gyroscopic lean
A gulf stream
My silent compact, my covenant to self iz...
never change
my inadequate mesh
Yes...
I'm not interested in the molestation; or motivation in perfecting my thought
Nothing proposed lasts more than a day,
I suppose...
Only killers extract from life what they've put into it
Congratulate yourselves!
Ur superstructure is being demolished
Life is passing
Art is passing
Slipping away
Drifting inside the doldrums day by day
Reality is just another fundamental flaw
flawed fundamentally
transformed & twisted
ripped up & unlisted
revisited then transfigured
All that is sacred and taboo in our world is meaningless.
We Need...
A BlooD TranzFusion.
112
June Barefield
Whatever Man
113
B 4 The Dawn
From 'Ole Honest Abe in the dayz of old
to Prescott Bush with his Nazi gold,
FIRE, water, ice & BOMB~BLAST 4 what you've sold
Stolen diamonds, rubies, sapphires & all precious metals i'm told
Secret wars waged in your fathers name
From ancient times to present day
March in bearing the cross, blasphemy iz ya mommas thang, so who's to blame
March out with negro's beaten into submission, to tote the load in shame
Them come that they may civilize the savage with a little christianity,
Eroding the very fabric of humanity, clothed in the sheath of insanity - Contaminating all
truths,
A damnation
A calamity iz your vanity
Chickens come home when they roost though, huh?
Same one popped ABE in his dome now terrorizes your home, so you come up wit some
new laws, and legislate exasperated sensational fantastic frantic Bullshyt
same chrome you've legalized for a profit, now profits off your tears - The devil's happy
too! He's never alone...
Laughing cuz ni99az iz packin' like paupers, killing off they peers,
Geared up playin' copy cat, walkin' 2 1/2 steps back, nap sack full a crack, claimin' this
set & that
It's all Brown on Brown & Black on Black
Stacking chips from sunken battleships, and shattered remnants of a hope deemed
ameriKan for this evil clan
Promises promises man...
114
June Barefield
In fact...
Ur mind-state is so inflated you imitate chuck, and partake in fake debate, wait till the
proper pawns in place
Framed discussions without percussion, just a bunch a treble, and a lot a nothing',
bluffing your way out of what's coming,
Something’s gotta give today, Bee cuz tomorrow may B to late
The games we play for a scrap'a what the fuggs on charlie's plate,
You're being led astray by heretics & thieves
Apostates with reprobate mind-states, straining your faith & love thru a wicked sieve
Please...
The Project iz for a new ameriKan century, but it seems it's just been packaged up
differently
Principalities & powers still kill off the innocent for a mutha’ fuckin’ dollar bill
"Makes me wanna holler" !!
I'm good wit these hands, but i'm throwin' up 9INE shots like I ought a,
The Earth iz my turf, when I share it with you
Gotta a lotta souljah's holding' down the Truth, putting a stop to the slaughter of our
youth
Proof's in Grannies Pudding', and
grannie wouldn't lie,
she's walked way to many miles
in beaten, battered
tattered
shoes...
Magnified in the eyes of them who's retribution iz pollution & crime
115
B 4 The Dawn
substandard food entities placed in your communities to shackle you in sickness with no
forgiveness
yep. yep.
We live this!
GUTTER precepts from gutter concepts, like gutter breakfast, gettin' gutter restless
We gotta get up & get, get down
fuck 911,
Negero's need to put it down...
Move further
Momz & fathers
get there faster
last longer
cuz we stronger...
Right or wrong, the watchword & Banner to carry iz our own
Let the tradition B wisdom,
teach 'em metaphysical, spiritual type Ithaca’s
Beyond space & time, or any physical type systems
Steeped from steeples of peoples who aint never been equals
In realms held in helmz, controlled no more by tethers from another’s quiver
delivered by boat on ocean flights, floated up rivers to masters down south,
Left shaken to shiver & cry tearz of trepidation & fear, thru clinched teeth & closed
mouth
The 9inth house...
I Am the light of my consciousness, there iz no fear inside this circle; within this sphere
116
June Barefield
Where a sustainable inner shines thru to the outer, never again 2B suffocated or
smothered
God gives grace to souls for life
Him not give grace to EGO's that's trife...
The power of wrong has imprisoned the power of right - Right?
The majority's been silenced
The media's spineless frightened by corporate structure's alliance
The masses show no defiance as we sit back & watch the War machine holler
TRIUMPH!
The Devil has never been so happy!!
He's got everybody lying...
So resident fellows create A rationale with their IVY League think tankers
stock brokers, big wiggers, politicians & bankers
Life takers
makers of thought
creators of reason & rot
catch on to the hustle?
Them throw the change up, and take it all back to the top
Judges with grudges looked upon like saints
Bought and sold votes, conniving & conspiring
Contriving a new way of keeping you lame
Like the Lioness, and you R her prey...
Yep. Yep.
I'm a talk a lil SHIT today!
117
B 4 The Dawn
Psychotic Behavior
Psychotic behavior
delusional
neighbors
XMAS slaverz
white saviors
Systematically
unsympathetically
regrettably
Fraudulent torrents
of torment
for...
dormant
mind states
Normality’s
Psychotic
behavior
just ask your neighbor
or Him
delusional savior
Behavior
Psychotic
toxic
poisonous viper
of Reptilian
villainous INsiDers
them TELL Lie
with
no Vision
but Division
Never - ever
Switch Positionz
or turn cheek
to listen
Third eye vision BLINDed by...
PsychoticBehaVior.
118
June Barefield
for the 9th House
I have no needs,
a man with no past
no future,
Sutured up by experience
Another Xperiment;
I'm unconcerned with your likes or dislikes
My stance iz upright
Don't have to look inside my vest pocket to find my soul
It's alwayz there - alwayz near
Bumping up against my ribs
Swelling and inflating with the song I give
Strong in the Lord, and
He iz me
See...
I'm a man of God & and a man of the devil
To each his due
Nothing eternal - Nothing absolute
It seems I rekindle this flame inside again and again in Desperation
No more energy wasted; however my faltering, unflattering search
Iz 4 expression
My stuttering & stammering is certainly not divine
I'm but one leaf on a vine stretching off into the eternal
Dazzled by the glorious collapse of the world
I see ameriKa spreading disaster
I see ameriKa az an ugly curse upon the world
I see a long night settling in
I see the world & it's people being poisoned at the roots
Withering and uncouth, but
The world iz what it iz, and
I am what I am
a man
119
B 4 The Dawn
The result of inexplicable forces
the result of chaos & disorder
We all move about on levels that seem to shift
Our thoughts, our dreamz, our actions, our whole life
Unsung & unholy - Unworthy & devoid of any insight
Life itself seems to drop us down another level; from one scaffold to another
Like grains of sand under the ruins at Athens
Like newly discovered pathogens
Uncovered in time, surrounded by incalculable latitudes of light
fighting 4 survival
spinsters in a dubious age
un-rivaled; we wage war
spiraling down this path,
the path where Death speaks
The 9inth House, where there R no absolutes, where a progress deferred creeps
My premonition's R of the end
Be it tomorrow; or a hundred years x three
I See...
every avenue of escape bottled up - where we can feel each other belly to belly
Without hope
the washed & unwashed
the murderer & the evangelist
where we must forgive them all their genius
Either the world iz to slack, or I am not taught enough
Perhaps if I became unintelligible, I would be understood immediately
To spit on the past iz not enough;
though I spit in the reservoir of past waters, now turned to slime
In my mind Sodom & Gomorrah have revealed themselves, and
to turn back iz to lose my life
Certain Death
So, stealth-fully I step
To spit on the future iz not enough
This I refuse
we're all here on this earth - win or lose
The past never ceasing, future never beginning, the present never ending
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June Barefield
Spending life inside this whirlwind - Never never land
Inside another’s treachery
Inspired and created by them, but
who iz them?
They.
Their universe is Death
The 9inth House where Quickness & Corruption stare you in the face
can U taste the hate?
The world iz what it iz, and
I am what I am
A man
I've served my sentence
I crave more room, more adventure, more freedom of expression
My confession
I have no needs
a man without a past - without a future
sutured up by experience
No delirious fantasies fantasizing about the time after death
Form the 9inth house to them cattle carz,
I dream in daytime of a time where; there will be no more work, when perhaps there will
be no more books
Or perhaps one book - a Bible
Minus the libel and transgression of religion
For me the book iz the man, and my book iz the man I am - A Bible...
confused & diabolical, truthful & lusty, thoughtful, scrupulous, lying, negligent &
reckless
Minus the libel & transgression of religion, in all of it's indifference
The scar I leave upon the world will have significance
All those with this
this three piece minded nonsense beware...
The 9inth House iz at hand.
121
B 4 The Dawn
Death SPEAKS
There was a hustler' from East-saint who sent his underling across the river 2 deliver
provisions & other things to some other thieves, for some other fiends.
The underling’s jus' a pup, learning the games being played, jus trying' 2 come up.
After a while the young Gee returns trembling , shook up by the happenstance; at first
glance, the hustler' had 2 laugh...
Still clearly shook- the underling says, "OG, when I was cross da dipp I was pressed by a
woman, normally I don't stress no bytch, but I must admit; it felt like death herself was
mugging' me." He said... "OG please loan me your ride so I can shake this spot;
Something' aint right, maybe I can avoid my fate, and loan me the Glock..." He said; " I
gots people up in the CHI, I can B there in 4 hours & get my shyt back tight- Something
aint right!!"
After contemplating, calculating- quickly meditating on his own situations, the Hustler'
tosses the underling the keys to the BiG Body Bucket parked outside.
The young Gee; a little surprised, looks the OG in the eyes & nods- Up & out he went,
still very much at odds inside.
So he jumps in the ride, puts the Glock in the stash box, along wit his lil sack a rocks, &
smashes out... Peddle 2 the metal, mashing' on the gas like grannies’ potatoes...
The Hustler’s still a bit perplexed, decides 2 get dressed, and check the specs out on them
North side boulevards.
So he crosses the dip, and travels down 2 the track, where thangz pop off...
There's where he lays eyes on the Lil Lady death standing' in the crowd; He approaches
her & asks in a respectful tone; without getting' 2 loud; He asks, " Hey lady, why did you
threaten the young Gee out here in these streets like you done?" Death says: " I was
having a little fun; that wasn't a threat... I was surprised 2 see him over here in the LOU;
I've got an appointment with him tonight in Chicago..." I thought U knew!!
Death speaks!!
she says, "the time, and place iz already marked down..."
122
June Barefield
123
B 4 The Dawn
Satan
The soul of the world
I’m thinking like mind control
A long stroll down memories lane
Games played inside boxes built in order to restrict ones gifts
Uplifting lines from motivational speakers called preachers, evangelists, prophets, &
teachers
Who Simply R not...
We've painted a picture of Satan passed down from the ancients
A ghoulish mythical beast with a forked tongue & tail, horns coming out of his head;
with terriBle breath, and horrible skin
A fire breathing DEMON, seething from some hellish perch - INSTEAD...
Satan is the greyhound bus station,
the county hospital, and them papers you gotta sign B4 they'll give you medicine
Satan is the police radio crackling right B4 they putt you in them bracelets’, while your
arresting officers giggle and joke about the basketball scores
The soul of the world...
Your expectations ratcheted down limiting what it iz you may Xplore
That door that opens while the blandly smiling face of the bank teller explains to you that
your account iz overdrawn
Satan iz ...
All that time spent in darkness - You know . . .
124
June Barefield
Satan iz the way you count your nickels when the whiskey bottles run dry
the look you get inside the eye of a hungry child
Satan iz your pride
those empty narcissistic views you have on a fool-hearted fame & the fuckery of your
fortune
Satan iz that kind of hope you've pinned on the lottery
Gotta play to win, huh?
Satan iz a cold hard fried egg on a plastic plate, with a bitter cup of coffee, while the
phone rings, and your child screams ,
Or when you run out of cigarettes, and money at the same time, and have to collect your
butts, crush 'em up, reroll 'em & then puff
Coming up Poor with people surrounding you who only worship education
The sensation of human relation that translates unequivocally cinematically PHONY,
I'm thinking' like mind control
The Soul of the world
Portraits unfurled of a blue eyed, pink skinned savior traipsed thru the entirety of the
earth to increase this beast
The idea shared amongst the maniacs that war brings peace
Satan.
I'm thinking' MIND control...
125
B 4 The Dawn
Praise God!
spent the last ten or eleven years attempting to find out about me
Meditating, concentrating, contemplating; Debating within myself - Wondering...
What's gotten me this far?
I would often gaze up out upon the starz
Think upon realities that I cannot touch or see
often times inarticulate,
an actual actuality
A peculiar kind of clarity which hell cannot afford
I've forded so many rivers, burning bridges in my wake
According to my labors ...
I pray the Lord my soul to take,
Revitalized with realness
shaken free from mans religions
adorned with God's forgiveness,
Relentlessly suspended with a strange sort of contentment,
the consequence iz death, the reward iz life, but...
People R like lice...
they get under your skin, get good and comfortable, and think they can stay there
my atmosphere’s always been saturated with disaster, frustration, & futility
Praise God!!
I have been deloused & for this, I have no humility
Symbolic symposiums of over organized, easily justified homicidal rides
Like a smack in the face from the paw of the LION
stop lying...
The power of love lies between ONE'S heart & one's NuTTs - But
disillusionment is confusing shit,
fake stares & painted on phony smilez, a pawn broker with itchy palms
The message of a clown,
Joy is a river...
It flows ceaselessly, uneasily R we
We wish to stop, analyze, compare, and then reflect
Possessed inside corridors of see thru déjà vu' s
the legislator of these rules lives inside
126
June Barefield
Inside where there R whole rivers of light
Inside where insight iz paradise; or
Outside where parasite’s fight...
jockeying for a position amongst the dead, insisting that they're alive,
attempting to impose their might
Sight with no vision has no eyes ...
I am alive by the virtue of stimuli, forcing me to expand & levitate where I shall explode
in the sky
Like fireworks on the 29th of July!
Praise God!!
I have been just about everywhere,
done just about everything
Done it all for nothing, but
Some invisible compass has alwayz existed inside of me
Guiding me up, over & through the oBstacles placed in my path
The wrath of hate & hostility my agility leaps,
The forlorn of prison could not undue this magnetic majesty of a course plotted with
precision
just for me...
Like a Lil penguin on his trek
I waddle thru the mess, from crevice to cliff
down thru the valley & up over the ridge
My purpose...
A meteoric commotion of flux & rotation - 4ever in motion,
Just another quimsical kid - SEE...
this iz how I live,
This whole country iz...
it's lawless, and violent, explosive, never silent
it's demon like
It's in the air, the climate
Up there where the ultra grandiose Xploit the mindless
Most prevalent inside the stone forests of our city streets,
lying horizontally in blindness
In capital cities across the nation, where your rights R being bartered by the spineless
127
B 4 The Dawn
Up in the Rockies, the Appalachians, the Smokey mountains where torrential rivers bite
thru rocky canyons, and crevices
of super natural distances
Outside where arid waste & over-pollinated man made crops, lush with the love of greed,
and the hate of faith
Our fate...
A mixture of quixotic BlOOD, Fatras, cults, sects, and Beliefs
The opposition of laws and languages
Contradiction-us government witchcraft, complete with gunshot from gunship, Bombblast from battleship
The entire continent iz full of buried violence,
trapped inside an unholy silence
where the bones of resurrected inflections of monsters, and conquering bands of BaDD
men coursing thru the BaDDLanDz
Historically inflicting enslavement with the engravement of a mysterious doom
Like Rain...
everything comes in buckets-full - It iz raining no?
YEP.
The whole world iz like a humungous volcano exposing it's sick bleeding craters like
tumors temporarily - HOPEFULLY...
From Iceland to the Yucatan; From Alaska to Pakistan
it's the same story
Nature DOMINATES, and nature WILL win out - NATURALLY...
PRAISE GOD!!
128
June Barefield
Same Story
Is the world one or many? - Material or spiritual? - Fated or free?
So many different realities sometimes I can hardly see
So many contradictions I can barely make distinctions clearly
So I'm what ya might call a wanderer
from town to town,
from city to city
I wonder...
I find the most rest in the blessed confounds of the space-full country
However if U wanna eat,
U know if u need some bread
Ni99a get in lockstep,
Like left right left...
and put a harness on your spirit
Production don't wanna hear it
make us some money
don’t laugh to long cuz aint nothing funny
PRODUCTION
Like conveyer belted into Hell
Stand in line, don’t ring the bell
Walk the line or I’m going 2 tell
Take a number sit and dwell
PRODUCTION
Over the entire EARTH
ONE BiG carpet of steel & cement
Seems if you wanna get a hat that fits; You know that really fits
You gotta walk to the electric chair
They give U a scull cap, tightly fitted inside there!
PRODUCTION
More nutts
more bolts
more dog biscuits
more barbed wire
more lawn mowers
129
B 4 The Dawn
more ball bearings
more high Xplosives
more corrosives
more tanks
more poison gas
more soap
more toothpaste
more computer shyt
more education
more indoctrination
more assimilation
Assembled symbolisms of very strange systems
but we listen, huh?
It's The New World OrDer
Corporate misinformation
Dissertation with two faces
Production stayz thirsty
NO mERCY!
We stand right smack in the center of consumption junction until one a them Trains
you've helped produce runz ya dumb ass over!
PRODUCTION
Forward while time starts pressing
Like an embryo pushing thru a womb entombed and soon
call it the fate of the world...
I prefer DOOM
Some places R stranger than others, but in all
PRODUCTION
You wait for hours in a line, or on a bench, or at a station, or in a basement, a building, a
monstrous super structure
U wait and wait,
Then u wait some more until some corporately controlled mealy mouth mutha fugga with
foul breath, and a PooT BuTT comes to cross examine you about your
PRODUCTION
Fuck that !
130
June Barefield
I walk the meridian that separates the hemispheres of life and death; until no breath
remainZ in my chest
The earth is cursed
its parched and cracked
Men and women seem to come together like vultures
Dropping out of the sky like heavy stones of wickedness to mate and then fly apart again
Without pity, or forgiveness, or compassion, or empathy, or LOVE
BUT.
PRODUCTION
Ask no quarter, and give none either
More battleships
More poison gas
More bombs
More, More, More
Consume, consume, consume
PRODUCTION
until what we've produced consumes the entire world in fire...
TiMe will tell,
So...
Go ahead & stand in line, but
Don't RinG that Bell...
Make us some money!
~Same StOry...
PRODUCTION.
131
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132
June Barefield
Wrapped up ‘N’ Rhetoric
The world will end in fire or in ice; with a bang or a whimper
Hook line and sinker,
That's a line U best decipher & try and remember
It's your wit that's been picked with and plucked in HD; for the love of your lust
Your social individualism's biodegradable; Just like my nuTTs
TRUST~
Authenticity has no awareness; but it's antiseptic imitator turn traitor like legislator
Same behavior
That avant - guard...
Guarding the truth with a lie they sell you inside a booth where you vote
Survival strategies of the rich and famous & the passion of them predecessors decadence
You are?
Irrelevant, but
Wrapped up inside the rhetoric,
Purely personal presumptions, and preoccupations
the illegitimate child of puritans personified
"The people of the lie..."
The fate of a nation
connoisseurs of a transcendental self- attention
Generation's effaced with smiling faces
Everyday competence is owned by tv stations
The atrophy of your tradition is unencumbered like your religion
Your impulse, and intuition is submissive & forbidden
133
B 4 The Dawn
Forgotten like Dr Kings vision,
Wrapped up in the rhetoric & that bullshit they pitching
Switching up like your appetite, inundated by desire
First time flood, this time FIRE!
7EVEN years of triBulation
You can run, but you can't hide; so let your delirium dominate what it is you desire
Gratify your appeasements inside this therapeutic putrid , empty, infantile, thing you
celebrate
like it's life
Wrapped up in the rhetoric like Iraqi freedom
The seeds seething inside this demon
The skillful manipulation of your leader's, and you who believe them
Participate in a farce & find access to their reality where more is hidden than admitted
Pseudo like your schisms
Spurious like your confession
Fake as your fleshy essence
Flawed like your perception
Just Wrapped up in the Rhetoric...
As in : EMOTIONAL HIBERNATION
Smiling faces through a lie; then call it participation
Exalted as if godly; this bourgeois liberalism...
134
June Barefield
Past me by…
The past is bitter
Cold as ice
The past has an edge
It cuts like a knife
The past can never be erase, replaced, or redeemed
The past is painful
Even in my dreams…
I gazed upon a sparrow
She soared over the trees
That sparrow passed me by
Left me gazing through the leaves
I passed on dessert at last nights evening meal
I passed on the Church house
It just doesn’t seem real
Of all the things passing me by
I only love one
Who said history repeats itself
Not this time
We’ve won
For the past is behind us
Let us look to the SON.
“First loves do not always keep their glamour”
135
B 4 The Dawn
Eternal Shadow
You are…
From the eastern seas
To the north
From the western slopes
To the south
As high as the heavens
And deeper than the pit
You are…
My sorrow
My shame
My burden
My blame
ETERNALLY…
You are…
My shadow.
4 Monica~
136
June Barefield
137
B 4 The Dawn
Speak Life
Whether U use ur mind or the 9ine;
whether ur enlightenment B sublime or a crime;
whether it's books or squadron’s of crooks
if you can't duck you will get the jaB, the right hand, and the left hook
Shook neGro's still gotta eat, and please believe me inside the code there no longer iz a
GEE...
My advise> Love ONEANOTHER & protect your family...
See...
I'm alwayz & 4ever coming; Never running
Wrong or right I’m going to' fight, not flight
Tighten up shot groups for groups a groupies ON THE RISE, but
never loopty, loopty
Came up ruff tryna tapp me some bootie
put my arm round her waist, finger in her coochie
never respected myself, just like in a movie
no screen test here just daily dookie
I waddles thru the mess Bee cuz that's a daily duty
on the RISE ducking' down from all the shootings
learn respect of life, cuz what we give we get
cant 4get i'm blessed, thru tests in time and all the rest
east to west, on down in southern lands
on the RISE we learn & grow; goTTa B a better man
it sEEmz ignorance iz like bliss, and the shyt iz just getting hella' thick;
them folks cross the tracks get at least three wish, while a ni99a' Ro gotta waddle and
wade thru this
The twist iz the knowledge you've missed, the idolz you hold up, worship; then kiss...
Each One must Teach One, otherwise "we as a people" R simply selfish, but MaYBe
that's just what it iz
Believe...
I'm attempting 2 speak 2 your spirit, but you aint tryna hear it
Near your breastbone iz an open type flower
Towering inside your minds’ eye iz Babel suBlime; So Babylon it iz, I know it's hard 2
live
Ni99aZ wanna steal the moon & now U just "GONE 2 SOON", Bee Cuz U won't 4give
Can't shake the curse unless U face the curse
138
June Barefield
Silver surf thru the turmoil & take the pain, Trust me...
The other side iz sunshine with a gentle rain,
See...
I've got stories of war, famine, petulance, and disease
Free cheese, and boxed up baby food that Base heads, and fiends serve in the streets
Grew to love, taught to hate, and shake the shackles hate made
Played games with folk brain's on several levels of the game
Chased fame and made a fortune if you'd lived around my way
Just an upstart retard with nothing but heart to portray
Everyday the same thang,
I thank God for the change
In order to get up you've got to first B knocked down
In order to smile genuinely, you first have to know what it iz to frown
Bound up by relativity; Just relatively speaking, reality becomes a casualty so...
~SPEAKLIFE when you’re speaking
Reaching peaks atop mountains that no-one can see
Understanding the negativities the electricity inside me
Knowing sea's wash upon shores until the tide goes out
The mist rolls in; then the sun burns it out
FULL mOOns rise in time for the oceans to shout
Doubt iz for the doubtful in darkness,
B4 the Dawn arises...
If one finds stillness then there are no surprises
Capsized dreams drowned in torrential river streams
Just when it seems UN-fordaBle;
Those same rivers
They Become so serene...
~SPEAKLIFE~
139
B 4 The Dawn
A Tryst on Love
Hate is laughably off base
it yearns to love, but knows not its own face
In defense of hate, love still loves in the same way
Permeates, penetrates perplexed panoramas in space...
The Way iz Truth & light, and love lights the path that opens up the gates...
Love iz faith & hope, the scope of any situation when your focus iz notes
Written on the taBlets of men’s hearts inside souls
Knowing the finish from the start's how love always grows
REMEMBER?
B4 the Rooster crowz...
Love is the knowledge of Noah> the construction of that ark
Loves the spark, the flame, the unrehearsed verses inciting the name...
JAH!
YUP.
Love iz GOD....
Love iz life
the wisdom it takes 2 recognize the trifle
the stress & the strife
Love iz the burden of bloodshed & the chill in the ice
Love will cut throats, float boats, write humble notes BEE CUZ love's so concise....
Love iz persistent, resistant 2 hate, love looks u in the face,
love loves even where there iz no love
140
June Barefield
Love loves everybody like equality,
much more than mere sensuality
love iz the rationale 4 which we must give,
love iz the reason, seasoned up sweetly for the kids...
LOVE just Iz.
Love iz God & God iz grace
why is it the man in the mirror's got more than ONE face?
replace the hate ,clear out another place, another space in time, no time to waste
WAIT...
When loving the principalities,
the congruent influence of another cant help my brother uncover
LOVE...
he passed on to the 2nd heaven
count 7even
Completion's so very reverent
Heaven sent
evidence of the unseen
the suBstance of your belief
Love
is..
EVERYTHING!
141
B 4 The Dawn
Tell me?
Life will take it's course so we do what we must
trust & love just enough
take the ups with the downs
the green with the ruff
leaning towers toward Babel
insecure & corrupt
between somewhere and no where
from here to there
and back where inside is fear
so look thru all the sacred book covers
sideways sycophants in safety
maybe one day as
the clouds grow heavier, and
the thunder rolls
You can
tell me ?
Who teaches the baby bird to fly?
Why R some of the Lioness' cubs eaten alive?
When the jackals dance,
vultures line up on the fence greedily expecting death to unsheathe it's bloody lance
in a trance called life
a circumstance that don't stand, but
Runs & hides
If natures your only form of nurture
How do you live a life where strife iz your only culture...
If the symphony inside your soul iz un beautiful
The pictures being painted so perfectly
Yet the painted picture's the very thing hurting me & you & him & her
And we cannot tell the difference between who's rich &
who's poor
From one dispensation to the next generation & on to this dis spiriting conversation
Tell Me?
If Jesus was ONE of us??
Love, is it really love...
Tell Me?
142
June Barefield
My history's not visual
another demon of my imagination
To get from here to Happiness iz a daunting task
dancing continually with the devil's bitch
She's a cunning snitch
sensitive & streetwise w/o tenderness
relentless
This back & forth, but
Life it takes it's course
Kind then cruel
like the hangman's noose
another disgruntled mule
pressing out the trod
to trade places...
Nah...
Looked everywhere 4 God
when I realized I am He
or at least He iz me
confusing humanity;
With just the right amount of dirt on the floor
in some country bar
I'd drink U under the floor
talk to U while U snore
Gave U my word so pocket it, and keep the change
Learn the game
don't love the same
Pay attention while I illustrate complicated alliterations of
A beautiful mind
The kind you find
when walking in the field of knowledge
slowly overtaking the ordinary winds
while vultures sail in broadening circles with widening wings
I don't fuck with the past
when it's passed it's gone
I fucks with the future
Suture up every experience
143
B 4 The Dawn
No delirium of a fantastic fantasy enchants me
Like Negros blow on these stones
I'd like to go home, but it seems I'm stuck here
In the muck with the ducks & Ni99a's that don't think clear
I wanna rob a bank
This fool wanna rob a citizen
I've done so much forgiving
I forgot what I was living in
Tell me?
What is it, and
where did it go, and
who stole the harmony
and how will we know
When...
Impenetrable silence searches
4 that ineffable self
Twisting within the demons of my flesh
Terrorized bits
and pieces spit out
filled out, then up with love & strength
Been saved to B suffered; You can never buffer the truth
Orphaned like the youth of this current generation
cloistered amongst over anxious treacherous monsters of a different dispensation
Relations unclaimed
tamed and in touch with the commonality of lame, urbane stains of the same
Content with the change that never changes from the hand's of money changers
Clean out the temple and remove that smile from your dimple
Let it B; then let it go and move on; spawned from the outside
where a different reality remains unborn
Looking In.
Tell me?
torn and treacherous, for-lorn & lecherous
Suspended and apprehended before your mind was attended
to
THIS SILENCE.
quietly I riot
never say no, but
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June Barefield
I pray no violence,
and...
Osmosis is the fame I seek
I come from a cloudy dream
proposed & purposed in infamy
I come from a trick lick Cleopatra
A genius freak
from clouds & heat
from heavenly constellations
where dungeons & despair
Leave me B.
Osmosis
Osmosis is the fame I seek.
Let it B and so it is
while life takes it's course
we do what we must
tell me?
who to trust &
how to love
and what to do with
these bloody gloves...
TELL ME.
145
B 4 The Dawn
Cops & these other Robbers
I can’t tell the difference anymore between the cops & the robbers;
So i keeps a problem solver
Revolver stay tucked when I'm in the city and such
Much to do about nothing, but the combustion is all consuming
4 ever looming in the distance
Real Negro's bring resistance
Persistently defy whatever it iz U tryna sell
Confine my people 2 a jail cell while the privately
Own penal colony collects major mail
Staring at these demons thru my rear-view when I slide thru
Flash back to the future to analyze the past
Head lights down; musik off when we mash
Smash this all consuming assumption of me
U think U know me because of what you've seen on tv
2B free me & mine R watching U & them as Ur watching Us
Must I invoke gun-smoke to provoke the parlay?
MAY DAY! MAY DAY! May DAY!
I laugh & smash out aware of the turncoat cutthroat
Sell a ni99a up the river figure's
The thing about living is the dying w/o forgiving
Still got 99 problems and these crooked cops iz 0Ne
They dealing more dope than my folk, and hand out beatings
The same way they dangled Negros from rope
Them say hope iz eternal so I'm eternally filled with hope
I used to break em down & bagg em up, sit back and watch it all bubble
Call me ROBIN-HOOD now and still,
I'm a RoBB wit my TRIBE 'til the earth aint shyt but ruBBle
Fumbling azz foolishness exists BEE cuz it's Black on Black, while the Police
taking statements from traitors and violators of a law that's lawless as Ur
cross town Nazi neighbors
"CrOoked officer, crOoked officer
I want to see ya ass in a coffin sir"
Life's a blur in the pouring rain of the poor
Them people kick in anybody door and call it procedure,
Feed you a line from a made up law; get
U in the courthouse and exploit every truth from every angle
146
June Barefield
Strangle your goodness & expose your anger
Appoint U a perpetrator and call it legal counsel
Him work 4 them when the trial begin
Got you waving your rights playing into they hands
Fuck the Laws they weren't made for me...
I let my yes be yes while you swearing on the bible
the libel of this act
have they read the scriptures in tact?
Pull a raBBit out a hat
I'm better off with that....
I'm a Crease up the Dickeys
Blow the same earf
Never- Ever
protect no gOOfy nigga's turf
Fuck the Police; aint to much changed
them marks in blue suits tryna change up the game
from the metro, to vice, the task force and the feds
The biggest GanG in my area gott buzz cut heads
Black cop still showing out for the white cop too
2 serve & protect iz comparable to caging animals in the zoo
Tryna tame a ni99a, train a ni99a, shame a ni99a into an obedient buster
Like the majority of these sucka's
I'm roLLing with these other roBBers Bee cuz it don't stop,
And I don't trust ya...
so serve and protect the property of the other
Me & mine; we gonna MoBB with my brothers,
and mothers,
sisters & listeners
learning the truth
Ur occupation iz a negation of everything pure...
"We shall Overcome"
mayB not, but
We'll damn sure shall Endure.
JAS 5:12
147
B 4 The Dawn
148
June Barefield
Baited Breath
Sparks rip the sky & fly from synapse to synapse
encapsulated where unmitigated supplication trace the tracks
Left inside the teary eye
the weary soul
In your name we pray
So many names them say
Only 0Ne way
Yet you remain mute
You turn the other cheek to the suffering
Decayed flesh
prostrated understanding
with baited breath
we wait
& wonder
While the cross hanging on the wall dissolves
legs unable to bear the weight
we wait
with baited breath...
149
B 4 The Dawn
alphabet Boxes
Faith iz a series of carefully calculated undermining levers
Pull one.
The pundits who perpetrate exasperated exhausting nauseous nonsense
Them speak of love, and faith, and hope
My heart's the graffiti written on the side of your suBway train
Written in BLOOD
A Brown eyed gurl once told me a secret
She said; "life is an exercise in futility"
She said; "just as our sewage is pipelined away to the sea's; In the same manner are our
dreams"
She was beautiful.
She did not believe
Me?
I cling to Love as if it were the answer
I continue my trek
I buy eggs, and milk, and bread
I hold my head
My eyes R tight, but even at night
As I rest they remain open
I'll never stop hoping
and wishing
and praying
and Living
I'm forgiving of the perpetrating pundits
the idiot so called savants
150
June Barefield
My paradigm shift
I'm in love
and lonely
My cities full of clones and un-precious stones
Alphabet boxes
All in assorted colors
They spell nothing.
They talk all day
a lot to say; yet
They do nothing.
give nothing
Even the clicking sound of the traffic light switches from Green to yellow
the game stops at Red.
I concentrate on small things
simple things
the Dawn
& sunsets
when my daughter sings
what 2day may bring
Onyx threaded through the chain link of my soul
alphabet boxes
Them...
I do not know.
151
B 4 The Dawn
A Poetic Rant
Insensibly driven
Lengthened and quickened my steps 4 the pigeons, white partridges & black crows ran
whistling and clucking, plucking & ducking out the way; Vultures usurped on broadening
wings circling what they thought was their prey; I just pray I stay, overtake the chopped
waves of this beaten beach, catch my breath and beseech this warm breeze residing in me
4 peace and tranquility;
My agility leaps, creeps, and crawls through the hallways of the dismayed - 4 EvEr &
0NE dAy
The dissected derivatives of diluted discussion's and underwhelming combustion
consuming the consumer; in good humor even
Treble dominates the airwaves
Trouble brews a bewildering stew of creepy copycat cats
without BASS,
entering in exit-ways on another made up stage-play sideways
A flattering tone inside the babbling bones of bourgeois clones
Flip the stone
Out of the slime itself the lotus grows
So...
UNFATHOMABLE,
Reach inside your vest pocket and see if you can find your soul
Outside noisy
Inside empty
The stories told.
152
June Barefield
Come what May
Come what May
in JuNe or
July
Y try magnify?
I am what I iz
and this aint SHOWBIZ
No screen test
fancy treasure chest to
invest
Just me & myself
can I forget I ?
If it comes in August
I shall en devour to
persevere - No tears
I won't cry
In SeptemBer I
remember
I'm
Still here
Still alive
Get through November til
December
Whatever with
whomever
However it comes
When I make it back to May
Still I
am what I iz
no "Catcher in the Rye"
fall guy for
other guy
January come through
153
B 4 The Dawn
Bring February too!
the month of my mystery
stitched and sewn up in misery
I march on In March
4 ever my soul B strong
Time&
Place
it's already marked
down
So...
I live Right On through the
wrongs
Solar system shift?
I'm like Mars
Bars full up
I'm wit Venus through the ruff
Gotta kneel down and pray
Putting up with enough wickedness &
stuff
April bring rain
it's gentle and it's
clean
So Come what MAY
I AM who I B
No games.
154
June Barefield
155
B 4 The Dawn
Love One Another
Captain of my own BATTLE ship like ripps
shoot genuine gip' from heavenly hipps
Some Negros CRIP
I BLOOD
Love my people
so now U know whatever it iz
It always wuz cuz
~Together though
we can make a way
If we can just stay out of our own damn way
Pray.
together
stay ferociously focused
Up out of the glaring,
starring eyes
of the Hocus-Pocus
I wrote this so U may quote positive shyt
and if U R IN...
then get up out of this shyt
GANGBANG BLACK.
react with reason
think retaliation thru or bury two
Including U
What comes around stays coming back around
"AROUND HERE"
it's killing season
156
June Barefield
4 treasonous reasons
I know...
this seething demon
Dealing the death dope destruction and
Despair
Beware of this interloper
and tell me...
Where may I live in peace; at 0NE with my people
All of my people
B a positive son
2 my people
All of my people
and Y iz not equal EQUAL ?
Our collective higher self is disjointed
dis conn ec te D
disloyal
disingenuous
deserving of what it gets?
Never this...
Our collective Higher Self remains
by himself
BEE CUZ he chooses not 2B himself
C urself
like HE sees you
Beautiful & TRU
together
~LoveONE-another
157
B 4 The Dawn
EVEN
Smitten myth's written by bitten victims of the system
Twisting& turning, burning up the TRUTH
Disgruntled, muffled up then muzzled diagrams passed out like
Poison
Razor's rusty destroying the youth
Dusty asses crusty, lusty mind state's abased w/o faith
Must we
ENDURE this shyt?
My answer.
"HELL NAH, just PRAISE GOD~ and up lift"
check the melody invitingly, and then Insist on relevance and reality,
Me?
I get up, down, PROWL my town 4 mines
My observation an ostracized octagon of an over anxious brood
Bred & fed this unrealistic, twisted, shiftless misfit mind-state
Time I take the fake and break 'em up in a bagg
The totem pole is tokenism and tolerance
truculent behaviors toward your neighbor,
Asleep in the wheelhouse of your soul
I want to Shake em till they awake,
eXpose OUR mistake.
Reinvigorate and ransack the shackles still in-place to placate
ONCE upon a time not long ago...
I looked hate in the face
my face...
Re evaluated my place while 'N search of this Grace
Like Mirror, mirror on the wall...
Who's the BIGGEST Hypocrite of them ALL...
My mirror gazed back with a frowned up grill,
"Y it's U mr. JuNe and you'd best learn 2b STILL,
Inside this wonderfully uninhabited place,
you can pick up the pieces and retrace the hate..."
158
June Barefield
Grow or shrink is what I was told
"Fear not, re inhabit your soul...
It starts with U BEE cuz the world iz cold
RE- THINK and unlearn all the bullshyt you've been sold
Unlearn the useless unlivable marriage to this fools foolish gold..."
So...
UNFATHOMABLE.
Lights, camera, Akshun for the flow
"InfrActions exist while kicked cans R cloned
Give a dogg a bone and watch him learn and grow
It's the passion of Joy that will carry the load...
to employ this passion iz to live alive, grow old, wise,
and maybe mold another who can continue to show
That it's love not hate, light not darkness,
peace not war, patience not appeasement; It's
LOYALTY
not treason.
So...
Disregard the score
IT's EvEn.
7 solutions X 77 absolution's
~4-3 see...
Now we're back at 0NE."
PRV 21:31
#message-sent
159
B 4 The Dawn
UNbroken
Package broken
from the inside then out re awoken
never no token
unspoken frozen words
choked back
4 lack of
knowledge
built up sturdy enough 2 attend that penal
college
swallowed it all
bars, lack of stars, ignorance, and bullshyt
other niggas just like U ordering U when and where to
piss
took a shyt on that lyfe
discovered my own
uncovered the stone
NEVER alone
Blood no longer static
bone dissolves no more
Eyes still burnt oRange around the edges
but
that don't matter no more
when it's cloudy outside
I'm no longer clouded by clouds
shook inside crowds
Loudly inside my spirit
this silence resides...
Bathed in an acorn light still a wonder
Where the tree wuz once but ash
it stands straight, takes shape
it grows a giver, believer, achiever of peace
of soil, and water, and sun, and moon
Package delivered un-broken
a believable tune....
160
June Barefield
It’s Near
WHAT DO I THINK ABOUT POETRY?
POETRY IS HEAT, ICE, A RIVER RAGING; ALL STAGES OF LIFE
POETRY B PRECISE, AND THEN CONFUSING
AS TRYNA ROLL CEEL-O
WITHOUT THE THIRD EYE OF THE DICE
NICE, NASTY, CLASSY, never trashy
POETRY IZ ME, AND I AM YOU, YOU R HIM, AND SHE IZ HE
POETRY?
POETRY IS THE CONTINUAL OSCILLATION
BETWEEN HEAVEN AND HELL
A SPELL CASTED LONG AGO BEFORE HOMER AROSE
I FEEL POETRY IZ THE BLACK ROSE
LIKE AFRICA B4 IT WAS RAPED, AND PILLAGED
A VILLAGE IN THE SUDAN B4 THE INFECTION OF THE CLANNISH
BEHAVIOR OF RELIGIOUS TRAITORS, AND NEGRO EN-SLAVERS ENRAGED
with CONFUSION, CONVOLUTED THE TRUTH
POETRY?
A RAZORS EDGE, DANGEROUS & TRU
THAT'S WHAT i THINK 'BOUT POETRY...
HOW ABOUT YOU, AND HIM, THEM OVER THERE TOO!
4 REAL
TELL ME WHAT U FEEL....
ABOUT POETRY!!
I feel like poetry iz ElEcTriCity & heat
161
B 4 The Dawn
The energy created thru the distinction of situation
triBulation
frustration & U know?
ALL the bullshyt we facing
Steady tracing the traks of your teary I
Poetry iz ONE question.
Y?
But I believes to achieve the proper recollection
A poet has gotta remove him/ or herself from up out the BUSTER
section
Fear not REjection
Keep flexing
inspect the rolla-dex of your mind
No more ROBOTS on show-spots tryna connect dots that aint there
If ya scared go to
church, sit ya numb as down and rehearse ya hustle
Poetry?
It's mind muscle...
that durty trestle on the train
It's your minds EYE wrestling with GOD in the rain
Poetry?
The seasons
the "REASON'S that we're here!"(Lol)
I believe poetry iz near....
162
June Barefield
I think I love you...
I think I love you...
Hope that isn't a thought that causes u to turn away
I rememBer when I knew you
We were children
I thought I wuz grown
On my own way 2 early in this
Sorta got caught up in the twist
I think.
I loved you back then too!
I believe God had planned 4 me to go thru the thingz i've been thru
2 send me back to you
In one piece to find peace in your armz and embrace
2 teach me grace, and faith & hope & love...
Love?
I think I love YOu.
163
B 4 The Dawn
I apologize
I used 2 promise women heaven only to give 'em
Straight hell, think I got it from my daddy;
Or one a them old ass nigga's off in a jail cell
I dwell right up on the ledge
hedge my bets like I really know,
but knowledge of anything is just another confusing note
I apologize 4 being misled
I apologize 4 tryna keep you fed
I apologize while I remain 4ever on that RED,
I apologize so understand exactly what's been said
I fled the state, but could never fly away fully
I beat up the bully, but still wuz empty with my fully
I apologize BEE cuz U weren't supposed 2B my mark,
PUT THAT ON CHERRY PARK
I thought love wuz something else, while I observed in the dark
Lurking with the sparks inside the synopsis of my brain
Tryna B like him and stay in my fucking lane
Never really knew that all I said would hurt you so
Make U testify and cry while ur momma tried to lie
I apologize, but with that being said,
You gotta deal with the energy you've created, and the bullshyt U did...
To U my love I vow
Now u the brown cow, but U can't skip the moon
I apologize 4 me
and no longer give a fuck about you
I might B my daddies Lil boy,
but you's a tricky lil vixen that your momma must adore
I apologize.
Just glad I can finally close the door...
GOODBYE.
164
June Barefield
Eternally Earth
Bolder than them songs composed when Homer arose; Mystical & metaphysical as
Plato's prose; The Black Rose lives blind to the formula of creation; Perfection is God &
Simplicity Perfection; Intersection after intersection; Conception to birth, nurtured in
pain, but eternally EARTH...
FROM STYLE 2 STYLE
FLIP SCRIPtS LIKE THE MODERN DAY MESSIAH WOULD LAY DOWN FLOOR
TILE
I ALLOW MY MIND TO PLAY WITH THESE IDEAS
TEMPT, TITILLATE, AND THEN MURDER MY FEARS
KEEP YOUR CHEERS WHILE I CONTINUE TO SYNCHRONIZE A SYMPHONY
LIKE SOLILOQUY OF VERY RIGHTEOUS TESTIMONY
TAKE YOU TO THE CHURCH HOUSE DOOR, THEN PICK you UP AROUND
THREE
DON'T FORGET MY CHIKEN DINNER, CHIKEN LIVER...
DELIVER THE DOPE LIKE YOUR GOVERNMENT, BLAME IT ON
IRREVERENCE; THEN TELL JESSE JACKSON TO STAND HIS PUNK ASS UP
AND SELL THIS SHYT...
SEVERED IN SILENCE LIKE MY MINDS EYE SEES VIOLENCE...
SHHHHH....
QUIET ON THE SET!!!
DISPOSABLE AND DISPARAGING
THE LIGHTS OF THE CITY AND ITS PLASTIC WINGS
FLY HIGH FRENETIC FRANTIC FLYERS OF FORTUNE
BUY UP THE NIGHT B4 CANCELLED FLIGHTS IGNITE THE FIRE'S FORETOLD
WHEN THE ANCIENTS REJECTED GOLD
REMEMBER?
sons & daughters....
BEHOLD THE STAR IN NORTHERN FOLDS STILL HOLDS
A PROPHECY UNTOLD...
TRUTH IZ NOT CREDIBILITY
FOR WHAT'S CREDIBLE TODAY IS SOON
DISPOSABLE & OLD SO...
165
B 4 The Dawn
"Just say Know!"
engage your mind's eye
No?
6ix O clock east of this here river
another day, another endeavor
Get up or stay down while the sad face clown learns to frown,
When uptown bitches turn snitch for the hoes downtown
'TiL the UNDERDOGG in the race flips the whole game like upside down
Ride right side up living outside in holding on to tarnished crowns
"The wages of your sin"
Remember me when introductions R just reflections of the combustion forthcoming
Remember don't 4get to clean your guns while you're "Running"
The gospel, good news & the truth can get stunning
Shoot move; then communicate to sustain....
Now that iz hella' cunning
The Height (X) the width
Negro reconfigure your circumference...
Consider this...
When sPiriT collides with matter
Does it matter?
Inside he who would, she who could
or
those who did for
those to live
Consider this...
INTERCONNECTEDNESS
Where...
Ideals become action
when....
exacted conditions
Like exploratory expeditions accelerated through the motion of
annihilated distances
SOLID & FIXED
this interconnectedness...
166
June Barefield
Gotta know Love
2 fall in love u gotta know love
how can ONE~ fall in love if they've never been shown
grown & still searching.
Hurting
Working.
2 Fall 'N love U gotta know that hate's worthless
I fell in love, but LOVE never loved me back
did the right thingz, and tried 2 keep my STRONG back
I fell out of love cuz the word don’t fit the glove...
In fact.
I shoved truth aside,
created my own truth
sutured up my reality
Stole love like technicalities...
NOW.
Somebody.
Somebody besides my own ...
Tell me?
What iz LOVE?
& if I’m in love will I maintain my OwN?
MoMz said that once it's stitched it's sewn....
167
B 4 The Dawn
DRIVEN
to live
not simply exist
DRIVEN~
to give
& receive
Achieve then retrieve
sweep away all the debris
give it back & then leave
Alive
the only way to B
DRIVEN~
Never trip on stock cars
gets my parts out the
Junk Yard
taped your picture on the visor too
Nope.
I aint hard
I'm Kool
can't sing
but I do my dance fool
I Parlay this two step thing
Never think with ding-A-ling
BELIEVE.
No wants what so ever
but I got needs
INDEED.
blazed brazenly inside of me
the affliction of ONEHUNDRED men
Driven by hope
Drive by a Negros hope
and do
and B
and Live
168
June Barefield
This Riff in my mind
Music in my soul
It swells then inflates
a light to my feet
no retreat from surrender
give up
NEVER.
Driven without endowment
Empowered to endeavor
DRIVEN~
& clever
I pull another lever
Imagine magicians when they fly
Fires blazing in the sky
Like concrete
this city in my heart
street lights after dark
DRIVEN~
by infamy
& time
enemies in line
Osmosis my only crime
Driven by this line: "No obstacle insurmountable in pursuit of a vision"
My own blindness drives me
along with derision
the easy pain of living
& indecision
DRIVEN~
No act
this natural
Like bird & wing & wind & dreams
like half moons and my children's eyes
silly smiles piled high
Uniquely DRIVEN~
my battle-cry!
169
B 4 The Dawn
170
June Barefield
DIMENSIONS
Consumed by folk singing the same damn song
walking along like sheep
mind gone
thinking not
Y not think a
lot?
"Baby baby baby I love U..."
Or perhaps
"Please don't go away, baby baby baby please stay..."
Everything Must change folk say
I need change
rearrange my pace
look into your eyes
you are my change
touch my face, embrace this change for changes sake
Sometimes I long 4 my loneliness
strangely lucid am I when I feel I am ALONE
Everyone needs something, someone
Not just anyone
a SPECIAL one
I know I need U
I want to be yours
I need to want to know you
171
B 4 The Dawn
Adore the thought of
adoring you
frustrations, imaginations and all
of YOU
My words I am able to arrange
My life not
very strange are words
and life
and tears
and fears
for LOVE
I crush my smile inside
Stifle my screams
but I dream my dream
delightfully inviting
this dream
I dream
It all means next to nothing
Ideas remain unborn
Torn and treacherous Love
a worn contemptuous unrealized one
This dream
it's got three dimensions
you R inside them all.
172
June Barefield
Throw up both my hands
It makes me want to holler
throw up both my hands
I cram to understand this land
This land where liberty is deferred
I walk in & out of doors them say opportune 4 me
This country tis of thee
I see the snakes in the same circle as the original 13
Not meant 4 me
My inconsistency my reality
Perceptively I propose, I constitute my own solutions
thru the pollution & the crime
I look out of my window where wearily I remind myself of myself
The people I know seem 2B alien to the struggle
They consume the doom and fail to uncover the rudders
Wondrously up under this which we have all been made 2B
educated and taught to read
but to reason with one-another is a concept of deceptive reprieve
To undo what's been done
Raise up a wise son
so he may raise another
The stuttering and stammering of the bourgeois men appointed to lead me
They incite the insanity I feel when I attempt to explain what it is I feel
This blind obedience to a blundering oracle, inside a wicked sieve of thieves
To be appreciative and at the same time depreciating blindly
To be anything but a machine
Inside this machine called society
Nobodies Hercules, but we suffer his 12 labors
Force fed all of the unsavory flavors
Side by side we stand with the same traitors & en-slavers
behavior bewitching the thought process of each and every neighbor
From ashes to ashes
Dirt to dust we shall all go
173
B 4 The Dawn
My unfaithfulness I pray for as I walk through another door
To explore this realm
This realm of the exploited
Joined together in this fAKE love lust destroying One another
For my people in the gutter
My sister and my brother In this huge bowl of guppies, groupies and souped up savages
sold in a salacious nightmare, then told it's a dream
For this make believe Free
this free milk & cheese
Mercy, mercy me
Nothing anywhere is what it appears to be
It is what it is huh?
and I am who I B...
Still...
It all just makes me wanna holler sometimes
Re- write my liberty
and throw up both my hands....
feel me?
174
June Barefield
THE GET-A-WAY
PLAN MY GET-A- WAY THE GHETTO WAY
STAY LOW
CREEP SLOW
KICK A CROW IN HIM FACE
REPLACEMENT KILLERS AINT KILLED ...ISH
LET SOME THING DIE TRICK, OR MAKE A DAMN WISH...
MY EYES OPEN
HEAD UP - COPING
TIGHT ROPING
HOPING I DON'T HAVE 2 BRAIN A NI99A
NO MORE TRIGGA'S
JUST MY THOUGHTS & MATHEMATICAL TYPE'A FIGURES
FIGURED IT OUT QUICKER
LIL BITTY BAD AZZ NI99A
RIGOR MORTIS 4 THE RABBIT THAT GET IN MY LANE
COASTIN THRU THIS THANG A MA JIG THE FLY WAY
I PLAN MY GET - A - WAY RUNAWAY STYLE
LEAVE EVERYTHING BEHIND BEE CUZ I'M CUNNING WHEN I GRIND
MEANWHILE...
THE GRITS & GRAVY R THE OUTLINE 4 MY BABIES
IT AINT NO MAYBES, OR MIGHT BE'S
MY CHILDREN GON' EAT...
THE GHETTO WAY
WE GET A WAY...
175
B 4 The Dawn
Tell Them
I write what them call "poetry" 4 a whole nation of Zombies
Tv addicts, and tricks that want treats given never earned
I learned
Lessons
Living life asking questions
Stripped mined ALL I know of life and love 4
what them call "poetry"
Broke bones
calculated bloody money
done plenty lovers durty
Like the Pope collecting precious stones from Africa
The Golden boy turned bronze
Them Inmates raising hell in Attica, but
A lot of these things R just like the other, huh?
same suit, shoes; Same funny looking mustache
Just go along to get along ass ni99a's
Tell the president that when the people have no clothes
Homeless, and unhealthy
When they run out of loot for convenient stores, and tummy tucks
When they're titty hope hologram fades
I will still B the blister on the burn
The axe in the hand of the maniac
looking back at you
Tell them...
As the eyeball floats off of the edge of the earth
As I dictate what the planet's describe inside of me
Tell them
Their delusion iz now reality.
176
June Barefield
Red’s & Blue’s
University of avenues where RED's & BLUE's choose 2 LooSe
Lumped up in a luxurious delirium
Drum beat TRIBAL minus the TRUTH serum for the libel
Survival required,
Riches & status desired, but
Even the Fittest catch fits
Twisting in a wind of rifts, fist & cuffs
Put away & locked up BEE cuz the authorities called your Bluff
Like when waves crash in against bricks
This city shyt 4 ALL the B-DoGGz & CriPs
Negro shape shift & uplift
Like a REBIRTH for a life to live
OUR university universal
no dress rehearsal's in these here circles
RED's & BLUE's, Blacks & Greenz...
2gether maybe never so...
We scream and play directly into the scheme
"I have a Dream"
That one day Red's & blue's Become black's
together blazing new traks that dismantle the handles manhandling the manhood in all
neighborhoods
Crips, Bloods, GD's, VL's, discontinue this trek on these evil parallels
My Dream is complete when "We" can collectively beat these streets
Drum Beat triBal, but we have yet to understand the tru rival in this...
The disconnection of affection's toward our own leave us ALL lacking growth; so...
undermining dimensions undermine your soul; like when hip hop flip flopped and U let it
go
We let it go...
Revolution starts in the streets, but you trade that for a show and let the other fella control
your dough
Fathom the streets paved in gold
our streets everywhere from Compton to Rome...
Take a bite out of crime: KILL the RADIO!!
177
B 4 The Dawn
On Sunday
All us heathens have the town 2 ourselves
Time enough to lie around 'til at least twelve
Evacuated streets; Even the fiends find rest in some bewildering dope induced dream
Church folk in front of mirror somewhere putting it all together
2 come as U R sounds good, but the fashion show begins around nine
Line up the out-fits, and put on your bullshit face B4 entering the sanctuary; while
The trees outside hope and pray 4 a BIG wind
The church house breaks into song
Domestic tension, and burnt bacon still scent the air
The streets have been evacuated, but
that don't last long
Wake me up when my Broncos come on...
or them Bears up there at Soldier's field
Go feed the dog's & turn that radio off...
On Sunday.
178
June Barefield
Obsessed
Still obsessed with the idea that I might write today
flipping flippantly through the manuscript's pages;
Layered like levels; or steps on ladders
Matter of fact-ly I exact a thought
Scribble it down then ponder another,
having tore down the last hundred thoughts, I think some more
My attempts to explore another realm held deeply at the cusp of my being
Ideas R inundating me, creating in me a bothe...rsome anxiety
Quietly I lay back and let go
In the hands of some unseen power
Ideas unwritten, smitten by the reality that now's not the time
Sill I'm obsessed
The idea
Exhausted by the mere idea
Week enough now to pick up a book and read while I rest...
Soon.
I'll get these ideas of my chest!!
179
B 4 The Dawn
180
June Barefield
Mirror Test
Hello meHow the hell r U today?
U know...
It's become un surprisingly, glaringly, absurdly unnerving
This search
this journey
4 me
I believed everything and nothing at the same time see
I've been the hunted and I've done the hunting
Thought I'd create a whole herd of me
Past, present & future me's
and through the years
where exactly have I gotten to
with all the striving
the yearning
the nothingness
trying to change into something else
This is not the same mirror test
I took years ago
and although the mirror changes
I'm still me
Just a tittie licking, pussi digging Lil charismatic
Them say Asiatic
Black & powerful
I laugh...
In this life...
I went were I went
done what I did
Lived how I lived
Gave what I got
ducked down when them guns went pop pop
Popped back when I got the drop!
Hello me...
The shyt don't stop
181
B 4 The Dawn
I spoke when I spoke
Whenever I stopped I was usually broke
Whenever I listened I usually learned
I loved what I loved
BUT...
what about
Where I didn't go
stop
move
live
what I didn't learn
How I lived for love
and when I did
I did not want to hate
Wait...
Bee Cuz I've always seen people
sort of like the police do
I see preachers
just like hare- Krishna's
They R conspicuous
ridiculous
Truth & credibility move not with the same agility
Hello me.
I think we need an agent
Like a poetry en slaver
Like so & so and what's his name
They have agents
they make lots a dough on the poetry superhighway of spectacle
Them spread stupefaction, call it poetry and wagg the dogg like he's got no tail
Mirror test.
Let's get an agent
and fame
and my name in big RED lights
This aint the same mirror
Nah JuNe...
fuck that.
stay close to the poem.
182
June Barefield
LIKE THEM
I could B Fanon or Che,'
ASSATA,
obtaining the knowledge needed to advance; then leading the way
Invoked in grey plumes of smoke
provoked by freedoms call
in a variety of third world nations
inside ghetto basements
I'd figure like them
A bullet or two is nothing for liberation
the circumference of an "us" mentality the difference
succumbing to nothing
but freedom.
I could B Malcolm or Biko
Lumumba or inside the Panthers pride
Jose' Celso of Puerto Rico
I'd reside side by side with Butchy carter
Bobby, Geronimo
Hiding in plain sight of the Chicago 6 & their entire lobby
I'd figure like them
fuck the ballot
we bring bullets til the day when liberation is more
than the pitiful peace of enslaved men
Like them I'd figure
the stakes R higher then my own self
Self worth worthless as long as
they controll my wealth
for ALL I'm worth
tear down the fixture and re configure what we've built
Like them I'd comprehend
my natural instinct 4 survival
I'd understand eternity
confront my rivals,
and if I were born in Beirut or Palestine
183
B 4 The Dawn
Like them I'd gather up my bandoleers, and bullets
holster my pistol & charge my machine
Gun down my oppressor in the street
LIKE THEM.
Me?
I wuz born in a different mushroomed oasis in Infamy
A different time
appeasement sublime
appointment divine
AmeriKa.
No dream; just crime, this ongoing dissolution of mind
Minds eye concentrated on the distraction of a paradise
NOT MINE
"The questions much more important than any possible answer..."
I ask Y?
I'm just me, but if I were them I too
I would stand the test of time, and
maybe once again we could be we...
Maybe I just don't see it clearly...
I'd hope I too could stand like them
sacrifice everything for truth, and light
& loyalty & trust
that it's in GOD's hands
and God's in us
LIKE THEM.
wearily, yet unwavering
it's still Just us,
I believe they wait for us
In this life & the next
exiled or dead, they live
Alive
inside the revolutionary mind.
184
June Barefield
Love is everything
~ deeper than any ocean, Bright az any star ~ the calm B4 every storm, the
soft zephyr of promise ~ a shinning diamond of light, a delicate petal of
hope ~ LOVE iz ~ the heart-string of promise, a soulful lull of justice ~ a
trumpet blare of reason, the tribal drumz of the unsung ~ a rose-petal of
kindness, the comforting whisper of dreamers ~ LOVE iz ~ the warm
embrace of forgiveness, a hearts-cloth of patience~ a raincloud of joy, a sea
of unending possibilities ~ our ambassador of peace, a troubadour of
tranquility ~ the robins song of truth, an anGelz wings for humanity.
~LOVE is... EVERYTHING!
185
B 4 The Dawn
186
epilogue
B 4 The Dawn
June Barefield
June Barefield
188
B 4 The Dawn
about the
June
A
June Barefield
uthor
Barefield was born and raised in the Midwest.
His childhood
consisted mostly of playing football in the street, basketball in the alley, and
stealing Ms. Williams' grapes from a vine in her back yard ! At a very early
age unbeknownst to June, he became very fond of words and writing, as a
form of escapism. In his early life June's house was very much like a boxing
match. He witnessed his mother being abused both physically, emotionally,
and spiritually.
June was diagnosed with learning disabilities and his Mother at the time,
God bless her soul, would not adhere to the prognosis given to her by the
experts. She refused to medicate him, but never really told him of his
problems. She always told him how smart he was. June struggled mightily
in school from about the 7th grade on, and eventually dropped out and began
to run the streets with wild abandon and recklessness. Always in a fight.
Always visiting the youth authority. Always unruly . . .
Early on, Junes influences were the people on TV, such as Sports Figures,
Cartoon Characters, Actors and Actresses. He was also influenced by the
neighborhood Super-heroes with fancy cars, loud stereo's, and pretty
women. Always creative and outgoing June searched for his identity by
playing sports, and dancing. June was a pop locking fool! His sister would
take him to the neighborhood bars where the elders would spin a record, and
marvel at his ability to contort, and create energy through dance. He'd leave
these establishments with a pocket full of fives and ones, thinking he was
James Brown reincarnated !
189
B 4 The Dawn
June Barefield
A restless and very insecure young man, with his fathers temper, and an
insatiable appetite for popularity, and fame. June always played monkey see,
monkey do, but ignored everything anyone told him. He was a child easily
influenced, but always led his particular pack of wolves. When GanG culture
spread 2 JuNe's little town he was again locked up in the youth authority.
Initially June did not and would not be a part of any Gang, 4 any reason, he
flat out refused.
His mother somehow employed the services of a criminal attorney, and
together they worked it out so that he was able to get out of jail, obtain his
GED, and enter into the united states army Infantry. This was never June's
wish. He was used to life in jail, and figured the most he would do would be
five years, but being aware of his mother's anguish and pain, regretting the
fact that he himself was the cause of it; grudgingly he agreed and went off to
basic training, and Airborne School. Later he would attend the US Army
Ranger School, and graduate thinking to himself that he was the official god
of war!! JuNe progressed very quickly in the army, making the rank of SGT
in three yrs.
All
of his peers back home, like youngsters everywhere had fully
succumbed to the succubus of Gang Life. JuNe's younger brother was one
of these inner city boys doing everything the wrong way, playing Cowboyz
and Indians in the streets. Killing one-another. Karma is action, and this
was a concept hidden from June's consciousness until his brother, like many
of his friends was murdered. Until his dying day this is something that will
haunt June. He feels as if he set the example that was followed, and caused
the death of his loved ones.
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B 4 The Dawn
June Barefield
S hortly after these events June managed to receive a bad conduct discharge
from the Military, and he returned home with REVENGE permeating every
capillary, vein, artery, that seemed to pour from his body. Quickly he
proclaimed himself a BLOOD gang member, and began 2 beat up those he
felt were not worthy. Surely if he had grown up on the east side of town;
then he would have been a CRIP gang member. Back then it was pretty
much a matter of geography.
June has always had a conscious, and a sort of strange hunger to know who
in the world, or heavens, or universe, or outer-verse; or whatever this entity
known 2 him as GOD is. Inside he was always aware of his failure to do the
right thing, and always wished that he could. He began to drink and smoke
the sticky icky, way to much to dull this yearning. It seemed to make it
much easier to conduct himself as this sort of alter ego. This tuff don't give
a fuck dude who was really just an alien to his TRU self.
I have heard him say many times how he wishes he could just "stay high or
die." When he would sober up, often he was in and out of what we term
depression today. So the circle went, in & out of jail again, back to the
regular patterns of his living. Selling drugs, pimping women, robbing
anything he felt like robbing, and killing. His pattern of living. He would
be indicted for murder and beat the rap twice. Nickle slick... Now he was
the neighborhood superhero that everyone envied, and he became more and
more paranoid, and dangerous.
His own Mother feared him. Still even in this blood lust he would write
when he created the space to B alone. He tried his hand at becoming a rap
artist, and was quickly disenchanted when he went to LA and had proBlems
with the producers in the studio over the chosen music. Run out of LA he
returned home and continued selling drugs, writing, fighting, fucking, and
not loving himself.
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B 4 The Dawn
I know JuNe.
June Barefield
He has done terriBle things, but in the midst of his self
created chaos he managed to obtain a 3rd degree black belt in Tang Soo Do,
a form of martial arts originated in Korea. June helped to establish the
Prodigal Son Initiative. This fueled many young hearts with a curiosity
about themselves. JuNe has never promoted Gang Life. He has relatives
and friends on both sides. Myself included; for I am his only remaining
brother and I was a CRIP Gang Member.
JuNe is different.
Always giving somebody something for nothing. Many
events occurred during this time in JuNe's darkness. He ran from the police
for years with warrants out for his arrest. He did his time, and this is where I
believe something supernatural occurred. He began 2 change. He read,
studied, re-read, and studied the Bible and began writing again.
He had been subjugated to having his house raided by the police; where
everything he had ever written was summarily taken to the dump and
exposed of. His sister EvaMarie, without his knowledge, had saved the
notebooks that he had piled a mile high in her house. She sent them to him
while he did his time. I laugh because it's funny how things come together.
JuNe hates religion, and often says that; "RELIGION is A CURSE." I think
again it is really a problem of geography! If he were born in Beirut, he
would surely B a rifle toting, bomb making; what we term Terrorist.
JuNes change is owed to the scriptures of the BIBLE though. While he was
locked away, out of money and phony friends, somehow he focused, read
and studied the Bible. He came out a brand new dude. Upon his release he
made an attempt to get into the seminary so that he could become a preacher,
but was disenchanted by the way the religious folk seemed to look down on
him in a patronizing manner because of his checkered past.
192
B 4 The Dawn
He
June Barefield
began to devote his time to volunteering at homeless shelters, and
attending prison ministry sessions where he was never allowed to speak.
JuNe has since disengaged from the church entirely but goes occasionally;
he says "to scare the saints into salvation!" He is a troubled genius who hates
gangs, and considers the police as the most efficient, best organized gang in
his community. He hates them as well, but it seems he is stuck between the
two.
In the future he says that he will speak on counseling at risk children; not
knowing that he already is. I have witnessed him walk into an enemy
territory with nothing, and engage youngsters in conversation; always
turning it into a talk on who they are. At the same time answering they're
questions in a language they understand and respect. He says he wants to
change his neighborhood, and I believe if people would calm down and
listen, he could and might still... CHANGE THE WORLD.
~DuB
aka
Willie Campbell
193
B 4 The Dawn
194
June Barefield
B 4 The Dawn
a few words from
June Barefield
J
une
B4 the Dawn is the books title, but much more than that it's a preamble,
like the faint drumbeat of my life; of many lives I'd venture to say. We all
are familiar with the naturalistic characteristics of the earth, and at least
partly the vision seen thru GOD'S eyes of the dusk and the dawn. We
collectively can at least admit a sort of majesty about the beauty, and the
brilliance of both light and darkness, and the correlation between the two as
it pertains to beginnings, and endings, and new life, and fears, and
frustration. Our imaginations when given the opportunity certainly marvel at
creation; if in fact we simply observe, B still and listen. Light and darkness.
They say it's always darkest B4 the Dawn, the moment when enemy troops
fall asleep and are summarily attacked; for that one instant when the apostles
with all of their good intentions fell asleep after humbly being instructed to
pray. That moment of weakness; just B4 the Dawn. The calm before the
storm, the stillness of the ending of darkness and night. The total balance of
a Ying and a Yang; An enlightening aura not our own resides somewhere
inside the perilous prism of that moment. Just B4 the Dawn. I surmise to say
that we are being summoned by the same life force today instructing us to be
still and pray; to wait and to watch, and to be mindful not of the cacophony
of cantankerous incantations invading our very essence, but to embrace this
quiet place inside of us all. This is where balance & belief meet in the street,
and greet one another. Where hate is embraced, and love eeks out the race
with patience and grace.
There is just so much noise. So many distractions. So much of nothing
really. Transfigured illusion is so very confusing, and the ongoing, never
ending presence.
195
B 4 The Dawn
June Barefield
The presence of this noise, and the sensational acceptance of distraction
distorting our chi. Humanity. In it's entire, is off center. So enter into
yourself B4 the Dawn, and fall ye not asleep. Gather up courage and
strengthen yourself for the journey which you must press out for yourself.
B4 this Dawn, and on into the next...
KaBir
says: " Listen, my friend there is 0NE thing in the world that
satisfies, and that is a meeting with the guest.
I say: "The best selling author of that book entitled "CONFUSION"; for a
time will reign. ESCAPE! "
Note to Bill: I thank U 4 the gifts provided my friend, and in my ongoing
quest to shake this confusion which is me; I have been studying them. This
is a forward of sorts I suppose. I just copied and pasted from my crook book
notes. Wanted to get your take before I wrestle with word document, and
email, and blah, blah, blah....
I love U brother, and I am coming, but daddy told me long ago that there is
never, ever something 4 nothing. I will have the money to pay you when I
get the room to spend it. Between my lawyer, and my children; well I've still
got 5$ and 36cent 4 the Arab at the corner store!! Lol We'll get it done
though.
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June Barefield
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B 4 The Dawn
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June Barefield
B 4 The Dawn
June Barefield
Acknowledgments
This was a labor of love, and a very intricate portion of my soul. 1st and
foremost I would like to thank my God for giving me the gift of faith, and
for putting me in a position where I may expound upon my faith and love &
my hope for this human family in a righteous manner. Thank you 4
forgiving me my unfaithfulness in all of the moments when I forgot where
all light, knowledge, and positive energy is derived. I'd also be remiss if I
did not mention my immediate family in this walk of mine. To my mother
whom I love more than my own life, and to my sister Eva who has acted on
my behalf wrong, or right for my entire life. Without either of you I would
surely be underneath someone’s jailhouse rotting away in infamy, or laid up
somewhere on East Lawn with a majority of my past cohorts. To the Inner
Child family entire!
This is a place where people are becoming free from all chains that bind
collectively. A place where Love is not just an eye catching word for another
empty phrase to engage upon agendas of self centered-ness and increase the
narcissism dominating the populace. I love you all. To "Just Bill, and Ms
Janet Caldwell, thank you for weathering the storm with me, and never
giving up on me. For your kind and humble guidance down this trail to
Authorship and publishing. Your selflessness, and giving positive actions
have certainly helped me to continue on and not give in. I know it had to be
an arduous task because I rarely understand myself, and without either of
you this would remain a silent dream resting dormant within me today. God
Bless the both of you!
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B 4 The Dawn
June Barefield
I believe that for everything there is a season. With this being said I have to
thank Mr. Jeurray Ivory, and Mr. Kenneth Mackey. You guys saved my life
and I love you. For the Mother of my children, Ms Laniya White. I will
forever be a part of you, and you me. Thank you for three of the most
beautiful, brilliant children God has ever given breath. Thank you for
showing them strength, and building in them a sense of self that they shall
carry on into the next generation, and beyond. To Ms. Gertie Williams for
loving and encouraging me for no more recompense than to see me happy. I
thank all poets everywhere; colorful figures with an air about them both of
refinement, the racetrack, a beatific rage; with both the voice of a nightmare
as well as a lovely dream. Thank U all for being imaginative enough to turn
rage into a song, and for reinforcing the idea in me that unbearable pain can
be lived through. It must.
Job 14:14
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June Barefield
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June Barefield
B 4 The Dawn
June Barefield
Get Connected
June on FaceBook
http://facebook.com/JuneBugg900
June on Twitter
https://twitter.com/JuneBarefeild
June on Google Plus
https://plus.google.com/u/0/112763554780361869468?tab=mX#11276355478036186946
8/posts
June’s Author Page
http://www.innerchildpress.com/june-barefield
June’s E Mail
[email protected]
203
B 4 The Dawn
June Barefield
another Book by June
http://www.innerchildpress.com/june-barefield
204
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intimate understanding of the sometimes daunting challenges
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www.innerchildpress.com
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fini
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