kit kat dolls - Rachel Williston

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VOLUME 3
ISSUE 1
MAR/APR
2008
The Best TG Magazine Just Keeps Getting Better!!
EXCLUSIVE
KIT KAT DOLLS
Vanilla Lush
INTERVIEW!!
CONTENTS
47
2
28
41 45
Regulars
Features
22
96
Parental Guidance Advised
NEW - Readers Reaction
2 Contents
4 Play Safe
7 I think therefore I BLOG
41 Question of the Month - answers
69 How many Candles?
78 Special Vanity Club Centrefold
93 Tammi’s Torment - Quiz
107 QOTH - Whats in a name?
129 A Taste of Ginger
138 Across Golden Pond
153 Skirts Vote
163 Adverts
173 And Now, the end is near
175 Rogues Gallery
LIFESTYLE
28
64
101
147
154
161
The Scott, the wit and the wardrobe
Personal Profile - Masacara
So Susan - Cheap at twice the price
As Voted - Spring
HELPLINES
Conversion Tables
2
165
34
99
95
49
64 101
true life
5
11
49
135
143
competitions
Letters to Editor
One Girls Story - Sharon S Lothian
DREW - VANILLA LUSH INTERVIEW
In the Papers
Hororscope
39
47
95
109
111
118
133
160
just for fun
9 Womans World
21 TG Life
34 And I didnt get the job.....WHY?
68 TG Life
77 Problem Solved!
99 Conclusions
127 Thimbles
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Competition - Beauty and the beast
Pretty in Pink Winner - Adara Morgan
Competition - Nailed It!
Style Council Results
Style Council
Lady In Red Competition Entrants
Mr. Women?
Quiz Answers
Throughout the magazine you will
see THIS image in the top righthand corner.
WHAT? ( I hear you cry ) does it
mean? Quite simple really, it means
it’s time for you to vote!!! So as soon
as you see this symbol get writing to
[email protected]
ALL your votes count!!!
ATTENTION!!!
4
to
the
Editor
Whew! That is all I can say after having browsed your latest issue of the magazine. What
a wonderful compilation of information. Excellent reading, well researched and just a
complete breath of fresh air.
What a wealth of information.... I am absolutely amazed at the total quality and
interesting insight.
From personal experience in my alternate life (in Drab) I know that compiling any type of
newsletter is nothing less than demanding , at the best of times a hair pulling experience
and totally draining. Your newsletter is an eye opening revelation. The content is
interesting, fun and pertinent and has whet my appetite, leaving me wanting more, more ,
more! Sounds like a good read of a romance novel doesn’t it?
Suffice to say this is a wonderful find and I will look forward to many more issues in the
future.
Thanks to all who work so hard to make it happen!
Cheers from Montreal!
Tanya Simone
Simply put... amazing! You had been so dedicated and are so talented! I wish
2008 brings you all and everything!
Hugs, Isis
Bless you girls, makes all our hard work worthwhile xxxxx
5
TANT IMPORTANT IMPORTANT IMPORTANT IMPORTANT IMPORTANT IMPORTANT IM
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ROTECT YOUR IDENTITY
Do not reveal information which could expose
your identity until you are confident that it is safe. Be cautious revealing your name, address, phone
number, email address, place of work, website address, etc. Do not allow anyone to pressure you into
revealing details before you are ready. If they are overly aggressive in asking for identifying information,
cut off communication. Do not feel obligated to be more open than you are comfortable being. Contact the
administrator of the website if you have concerns.
ET SOMEONE KNOW WHERE YOU ARE GOING
Be sure that someone knows where you’re going and when to expect you back.
LWAYS TAKE A PHONE AND YOUR FARE HOME
If you have
a cellular phone, take it along, and have a friend call periodically. You may wish to take along some form of
personal protection just in case. If someone tries to get you into a situation you are not comfortable with,
don’t hesitate refuse, leave, or do whatever is necessary to protect yourself. Nothing that anyone else does
can obligate you to compromise your own safety.
OUR SAFER IN A CROWD
member, there is safety in numbers!
intimate one on one meetings put you at a huge risk, re-
TAY IN PUBLIC PLACES erm...................DUH!!!!
VOID TOO MUCH ALCOHOL
All drinks can be spiked, but it only takes a few too many
drinks for you to lose your inhibitions and agree to things you will later regret, a clear head nearly always lead
to a clear conscience.
EELINGS MAY SAVE YOUR LIFE, TRUST INTUITION If you feel
uneasy about someone you’ve met online, err on the side of caution. It’s probably better to miss a few good
experiences than to have one bad one.
NJOY!!! 99% of the time you will be safe and have a great time, but for the sake of that 1% always err
on the side of caution, remember, if they are serious they will arrange to meet again, if they dont , it wasnt
worth the risk! xxxx6
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T IMPORTANT IMPORTANT IMPORTANT IMPORTANT IMPORTANT IMPORTANT IMPOR
PO IMPORTANT IMPORTANT IMPORTANT IMPORTANT IMPORTAN
TANT IMPORTANT IMPORTANT IMPORTANT IMPORTANT IMPOR
I think therefore I
BLOG
Hmmmm...BLOG huh?! Bloody Lunatic Orally Gyrating? ....Basically
Lying On Going?..........Bad Lost Or Gone?.........giggle, I digress,
Hello everybody, and how , the devil are you? all had a good holidays i
hope? I know, seems such a long time ago already doesnt it? but never
mind, the weathers warming up nicely, so soon it will be time to cast aside
those Winter Woolies and slip into something a lot less comfortable....
BIKINI’S!!! who’s silly idea was that? huh? I know , lets invent a garment
( or lack of ) that shows off all our lumps and bumps in a selection of colours we wouldnt normally be seen dead in! I think the Victorians had the
right idea, full-length dress, parasol and a nice hat, dip a toe in and be done
with it, if the Almighty had meant for us to swim we’d have webbed feet
and gills!
You may detect, dear reader, that i am not a water babes, being a Taurean, I
am fixed to Terra-ferma more securely than Michael Jacksons toupe, but not
everyone seems to be atypical to their star-sign, my better half , for example, is a piscean, yet gets a nose-bleed if she is more than 3mm from shore.
Many moons ago I had to fix a door handle ( YES!!! a door handle!!!) to
the wall by the bath, so she had something to hold onto when laying down
in the tub, I kid you not! 20 looooong years i’ve suffered this mad woman
hehehe.
But, does this mean we are....on the cusp? you know, a bit of each? or, as I
personally hold the view, its all a load of codswallop!
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For example! Hands up all you Virgo’s! ( giggle , I think you can see where
this is going ) rule of thumb means that you are all virgo intacta, pure of body
and mind..............YEAH!!! you lot are the bloody worst!!! hehehe
Sagittarians? Are you all........saggy? and more to the point, would you freely
admit it in a court of law?
Libra ? Liberal or Left Wing? and more to the point , does this weigh on your
mind? ( wait for it ...they’ll get it in a minute....)
Leo ? Brave or just foolhardy? or maybe you just have a liking to having a
shaggy perm....who knows?
Gemini ? Least said about you two the better!! hehe
Now dont get me wrong, I know many of you are slaves to your Star Signs
, and I’m not saying that this is a bad thing, far from it, if a few lines in a
newspaper that is ONLY for you , and just happens to be read by about 20
million people who coincidentally have the same sign, can make you feel better, then go for it, more power to your elbow. After all, our very own Drew
compiles a difinitive Horoscope every issue ( please form an orderly queue to
the rear of the publication ) and I must admit ( begrudgingly ) that I do see
what the Sage herself has to say about us Bulls, but lets keep things in perspctive, if when you were born had any REAL bearing on your life...
Then being a spring chick I would have been born with yellow Jimmy Choo’s
on my feet!
Loads hugs
Mandy xxx
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Woman’s
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One Girl’s Story.... Sharon S Lothian
Note: This story may not contain all the things that have happened to me, and may
jump about a little, but this is my first attempt at writing something like this, so
please forgive me, also I found this rather hard some times, it brought back some bad
memories, but any way here is my story, well a summary any way.
My name is Sharon Samantha Lothian, although this was not the name I was born
with, it is now my legal name. I live in Alice Springs, which is located in the centre of
Australia, I was not born here, but I grew up here and I love this town, and this is my
story.
I was born in 1974 on the 12th of June, in Southport, on the Goldcoast, Queensland,
and my given name was Peter, When I was about 1, My parents and I moved to Alice
Springs, because my mum bragged so much about it to my dad, 5 months later my
sister was born.
Now I must mention that, the household I grew up in wasn’t very feminine, my mum
wasn’t into a lot of girlish things, but into masculine things like DIY and Mechanic’s,
she did many of the repairs and additions about the home, including cementing the
patio, one side of the house and part of the backyard, also mum and dad taught both
my sister and I how to use tools, work on cars and do DIY projects.
From an early age, about 3 yrs old, if I can remember correctly, I knew I was different
from most of the other boys, even though I liked cars and other boy thing’s, well so
did my sister, I also wasn’t into guy sports, like football, or cricket, although I did
and still do like Motor-racing, (my sister is a bigger fan than I am), I also liked dolls,
dresses and other feminine things, however if I showed any interest in girls things, I
was told, in no uncertain terms, that these things were not for boys, and if I was caught
playing with any girl toys or in girls clothes, I was punished, usually with a strap, belt
or thong across my backside, and was quite often grounded, this was not only from
my parents but also my teachers, I remember one time at pre-school when we had play
time in a little wading pool and I had not brought any swimwear with me, so I had to
borrow a pair from the school, the first pair I picked up was a girls one piece, but the
teacher told me that I could not wear that as it was for girls and I was a boy, of course
I was confused, here I was feeling that I should be doing and wearing girl things and
being punished for it, so I started thinking that there must be something wrong with
me, so I ended up trying to hide my true self, and only being myself in private, when
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alone, this only led to a hard life for me, as I couldn’t be who I really was and severely
times through out my life, I have nearly committed suicide, including having a pair of
scissors down there, you know where, and more times than I can remember, I have cried
my self to sleep, wishing and praying that in the morning I would wake up as a girl, but
of course it never happened. Another thing was when watching TV or a movie or even
reading a book (My favourite genres are Sci-Fi and Fantasy), I tended to relate to the
female characters and wishing I was them, although I could never voice this opinion
openly and not get bullied or bashed, so if asked, I went with the male characters.
During my school years, (1979 – Rona Glynn Pre-School, 1980-1987 – Ross Park
Primary School, 1988-1990 – Anzac Hill High School, 1991-1992 – Sadadeen Secondary
College, which was renamed Centralian College, then renamed again to the Charles
Darwin University – Alice Springs Campus), I tried to be a boy but certain feminie things
kept slipping out, like the way I walked, sometime’s spoke, the way I used my hands or
the way I looked at girls toys and clothes, this of course caused some of the other kids
to tease me and also some to bash and bully me. When formal time came about, (yrs
10, 11 and 12 when I was going to school), all I wanted to do was wear a dress, I was
so jealous of the girls, but I had to wear a suit, some of the girls at school had, sort of,
figured out something was different about me, of course I only found this out later after I
begun my transition. While at school I started to research things in the library about what
I was and started to come to the realisation that I was a least a transvestite, and possible
a transsexual, but I was to scared to get professional help or to discuss it with anyone.
While at school I started to call myself Samantha but I didn’t really like it, when it was
shortened to Sam, so I started to think of other names, and Sharon just seemed to stick,
but I still liked Samantha, so eventually I decided to combine the two names and started
calling myself Sharon Samantha
My first job was as an apprentice electrician for the Power and Water Authority (1993mid 1999), I accepted this job mainly to please dad, also to do something masculine,
although I would have preferred something else, the apprenticeship was for 4 yrs and
then I was employed as a fully qualified electrician with them for about a year and a
half. During this time I started to come out to some of my friends, and work colleges,
well at work, I was sort of forced to as one of them had seen a woman, who looked like
me, driving my car, and also the fact that they notice that I had shaved my arms and
my eyebrows had been shaped a little bit feminie, (this was thanks to a friend of mine
who plucked them for me, later I started getting them maxed and shaped), she was also
jealous of me because I had bigger breast then her and that I could walk, run and dance
in high heels), this of course caused a lot of teasing and pranks at work. We worked a 9
day fortnight at PAWA and thus on every second Friday, that being an RDO, I used to go
to a friends place, or somewhere private, get changed and either talk or go for a drive,
however before I had to go home I had to change back to being a male, and god did I hate
it. By this time had gain access to the internet to start furthering my research, and also
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started to join some group discussions so as to seek others like me, through one of these
sites I was able to find some hints on telling my mum and dad, which I printed out and
was going to try and talk to them about after work, but instead, while I had been at work
my parents had found the stuff I had printed out, and I got it when I got home after work,
(I still lived at home at this stage), dad nearly punched me out, so I decided to try a leave
it for later, but at least they sort of knew what I was, thou they thought it was a phase,
although this phase has been going on for a long time.
In 1998 I took a 4 week holiday to the Goldcoast, to catch up with relations, while there
I had some glamour shots taken of me as a woman, I was also able to have some time
alone in the house of the relations I was staying with, to get dressed up as a woman,
including trying on some of the clothes that was in a wardrobe in the room I was staying
in, As I took this holiday alone without my parents I was able to do some shopping and
buy things that I would not have been able to do if my parents had have been with me.
I also got my ears pierced near the end of 1998
In 1999 I resigned from PAWA due to medical reasons, I was out of work until early
2000 when I started at the Alice Springs Post Office, on a temp contract, I had also sort
of come out to my work colleges, which were mostly female, so I didn’t get the teasing
that I got at PAWA, but I was a lot more guarded, this was also that case at my next job
as a Patient Services Assistant at the Alice Springs Hospital (2002-2003), however the
odd male staff member did say the odd comment, but while working here I injured my
back, so once my contract was finished I was out of work again, So I went back on to
centrelink payments, while on these payments, I was sent to CRS, which is a employment
service for people with injuries, to help them get back into the workforce, through them
I was giving a 2 month work training job in the medical records department of the Alice
Springs Hospital, (2004), while working here I sort of had to come out due to some of
my co-workers asking questions, about my earrings, and my shaved skin, I was a bit
scared but I found out latter that I had no need to be afraid, as everything was OK. and
none of my co-workers had any problems with me that I knew of.
So my life continued on with me living this lie, being forced to project outwardly that I
was male, while in private being who I was, this tended to get a bit stressful, especially
as I lived with my folks, and while I was being my true self, I had to keep my bedroom
door locked, this a least gave me some peace, and those time I never felt better, but If I
was called or if their was a knock at the door, I had to revert back to my horrible male
self, then around my birthday in 2006, I reached a crisis point, I was crying every night,
and I was just about ready to kill myself. I went to the only person that I knew I could
talk too, My Sister, She listened to what I had to say and she already guest I would
have to do this as has been very supportive ever since, If it hadn’t been for here I think
I would have killed myself, So I started to wear a bra and more feminine clothes, being
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winter I could get a way with it. I also told my Uncle, as he lived out bush, I was the
one, that usually had to take things to him or to pick him up and bring him into town,
he is also a Vietnam Vet, I was not sure how he was going to take it, I was surprised that
he took it so well, he told me that he always new something was different with me and
that this was probably it, but he didn’t know how to breach the subject, the only one’s I
couldn’t tell at the time, was mum and dad, as I knew what their reaction would be and
as I was living under their roof, and had no where else to go, I played it safe.
One of the problems with living in a place like Alice Springs is that there really isn’t
much support for transgender people, and I was not sure who I could talk to about
helping me, I didn’t feel comfortable talking with my GP, about my situation, so that
ruled him out. According to the Gender Centre of New South Wales, the best place to
start was the Northern Territory AIDS and Hepatitis Centre, So I went and saw them,
Found out that If I had of been of Aboriginal Decent I would not have a problem as they
already had a program to help transgender aboriginals called The Sistergirl group, but as
I was not of Aboriginal decent I could not be helped by them, anyway they put me onto
Kath, a doctor at Clinic 34, which is a sexual health clinic, unfortunately she was about
to start her long service leave, so she would not be able to help me much, but said that
a doctor was coming to the clinic that could help me But didn’t know the exact date she
would came, So I waited a bit but it looked like she wasn’t going to come up, before the
end of the year, so I contacted Kath again and she put me in touch with Deb, a doctor
at the family medical centre, who she said should be able to help me, when I met her, I
found I felt comfortable with her and I knew that she could help me. I soon learned that
she was a lesbian, who has had contact with other transgender people before, although
she didn’t know a great deal about how to treat transgender people she said that we
would work through it together, It has been a great learning experience for the both of
us, I also started seeing a councillor, she helped me a lot in the early stages.
While I was going through all of this, I still had to look for work, But I wasn’t having much
success, even had trouble getting an interview, that was until August 2006, when I was
contacted via Entry Level Recruitment for the government, for a job at the Department
of Corporate and Information Services as a filing clerk, and I was having the interview
with Michelle, She was the manager in the medical records department of The Alice
Springs Hospital, when I worked there before, so she already knew I was transgendered,
so I told her that I was starting to transition, also sorting things out with doctors and
councillors and would like to be able to attend work as a woman, this was when I found
out that I had no need to fear, when I came out at medical records, as Michelle had some
understanding of what I was going through and the hard road I had ahead of me, this
was because she has a childhood friend, who has transitioned from male to female, and
has undergone the operation, so she said that she would help me settle in and we would
see how things went, so when I started, I wore women’s pants, tops, shoes, as well as
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women’s underwear, this was exactly as I was attired for the interview, Michelle also
organised for me to have access to the disable toilets, so I would not have to go into the
men’s, and as I was just starting out, she advised me not to use the women’s, as this could
cause problems. For the first 3 days, things were a little awkward, (I was only working
3 days a week), but things soon settled down, some of my co-workers were interested
in finding out more about my situation, so the politely asked questions, that I was only
too happy to answer, as I thought it is a good opportunity to teach them a bit about
transgender people, I soon told my co-workers that I preferred to be known as Sharon,
and apparently the first time I was called Sharon, by one of my co-workers, my eye’s lit
up, and my whole body language changed. While working there, I was treated just like
one of the women, and my co-workers felt comfortable around me, and I became good
friends with some of them, One of them, Kelly, invited me over one Saturday near the
end of October, to have a day for just us girls, we talked, had coffee, lunch and then she
gave me a make-over, this was one of the best days I have ever had, I just enjoyed it so
much, just finally being able to do something that I have always wanted but never had
the opportunity to do.
Here is a picture of the makeover Kelly gave me.
But before I had this day at Kelly’s, three things happened that stood out.
A nice thing happened on the 2nd of September 06, while at K-Mart, I had to use the
facilities, so I went and asked the gentleman at the door for the key, and he gave me the
key for the Women’s, I wasn’t wearing anything that feminine either, just a pair of shorts
and a t-shirt, I thought that this was great, here I was being recognized as a woman.
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However, the 25th of September was a sad day for my family and I, as my Grandmother
died at the age of 90, she had led a good life, but she was suffering towards the end, so we
were glad her suffering had ended. Unfortunately, I had to attend the funeral as a male,
although I was wearing Women’s pants. Her death affected me a lot more than when my
grand father died in 1988, It think it was a) because She had been with us longer and b)
I didn’t have to keep my emotions under control, like I did before. When I got back to
work, my co-workers gave me a big bunch of flowers, to help cheer me up.
I had another bad experience at the beginning of October, about a week or so, after
we buried nanna, mum and I had a big fight, well it was more one sided, after we had
breakfast mum started to have a go at me, because I was wearing a bra, I tired to calmly
explain things to her but she just wouldn’t listen, and I left home that morning, crying,
I was still crying when I got to work, And I went and saw Michelle, told her what
happened, she held me, while I cried, and she helped me out by the time I got home
everything was back to normal, well as normal as it could be.
The day at Kelly’s was a nice picks me up after those 2 unpleasant events.
The next big thing was The Melbourne Cup, We had a luncheon that day, with some
competitions, this was the first time that I was able to go to a Melbourne Cup luncheon,
dressed as a women, I work a nice skirt and top, with some heels and a hat I borrowed
from Kelly, she also did my makeup for me, the only thing I won on that day was a bar
of chocolate, for a good try.
What I wore to work on Melbourne Cup Day 06
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It wasn’t long before it was time for Christmas parties, and we had two staff parties, one
was for the all of departments of DCIS, and we went Ten pin bowling, we all had to make
up teams and each team had to have a theme beginning with one of the letters of DCIS,
the team I was on, went as slaves, which consisted of ripped clothes and a ball and chain.
I had a ripped top on with blood like marks surrounding each rip, and a short gypsy skirt
with bells on tassels around the skirt, had a lot of fun that night, the other Christmas party
was just for payroll and recruitment, it was a pool party held at a local pub, this was the
first time I had worn a women’s one-piece in public, over the swimsuit I was wearing a
short spaghetti strap dress, now there were also members of the general public there as
well, and I had no problems with any of them, so this was a good experience for me.
Before I knew it, it was the 20th of December and the last day of my contract, I wore a
dress as it was my last day and a bit of a going away party was held for me, I was given
a make-up case full of make-up, and a big card, I was given a lot of hugs and kisses and
was told that they would miss me. So now I had to start looking for another job.
By this time I had already moved out of mum and dads and into a unit on my own, I took
over the lease on the 2nd of December and moved in on the 3rd and since then I started to
live more as a woman, thus ended 2006
2007 didn’t start to good for me with my back giving a lot of pain early in the morning of
the 1st of January, and I had to go to the hospital, the gave me some strong pain killers and
then I was fine. On the 25th of January I saw a psychiatrist, who said, that being of sound
mind and that this was the best thing for me, gave the go ahead for me to start taking
hormones and live as woman, which is what I had already started too, (I have been living
and working completely as woman for about a year now (Jan 08)), I wore a skirt and top
to the appointment as I thought this was best, so after seeing the psychiatrist, on the 31st
of January 07, I legally changed my name, this felt so good, I could now legally be known
as Sharon, so began the trouble of visiting and contacting all relevant bodies that I had
change my name, some places even allowed my to change my gender. It was at this time
that mum and dad banned me from coming over, I couldn’t even set foot in the yard, this
of course change from being allow on the property, but not in the house, and now going
over there for lunch, or dinner, however they won’t call me Sharon or use any female
pronouns, I do hope this changes, as it does hurt me, especially when they introduce me
as their son, with the emphasis on the word son.
On the 12th of February I started HRT, first just on low doses of oestrogen tablets to see
how things went then gradually increased the dosage and I also started on Spiro. My
doctor also put in a referral to see an endocrinologist, (they only come here about every 3
months), to get a specialist opinion, I am still waiting to be seen, and an endocrinologist
doesn’t come up again until April 08,
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Then on the 16th of February 07 at about 01:45, I needed to go to the hospital as I had
really severe back and stomach pain, it was found that I had a kidney stone and also my
heart had an irregular beat, which settled down at about 14:00, and all tests had settled
back to normal with no pain in back and stomach, and was allowed to leave at about
18:00 on Saturday (17/02/07). One positive thing was that, while I was there I was
treated as a woman, including having me listed as female on my armband, and being
able to wear a nightie during my stay.
Once I finished at DCIS, I had to start looking for work again, the first two interviews I
attended, I wore woman’s pants, top and boots, with both of these jobs I was told that I
interviewed very well, but was just pipped for the jobs by people with a little bit more
experience, the next interview I attended, I wore a skirt, top and a pair of flats, this job
was for the Alice Springs Taxi Base, as a base operator, I was told I got the job but I
turned it down as it wasn’t the job for me, you had to sit by the phone and radio for 8
hours straight with no breaks, if you wanted to make a coffee or go to the toilet you
had to be quick, I just couldn’t cope with that situation. The next interview was for a 3
month temp job in the medical records department of the Alice Springs Hospital, doing
the filing, I wore a skirt again to the interview.
What I wore when I went for the last two interviews.
I was offered this job and as I had worked there before, I knew what I was in for, so
I accepted and I started on the 27th of April 07, some of the things I had to do in this
job was, filing correspondence, retrieving and replacing files, collecting and sorting
mail, collecting files from wards and helping other staff members when required, my
contract was extended twice, before being told that my position was going to be made
permanent and at an AO2 level, (It was only an AO1 position, as was most of the other
positions there), and was being offered to the other staff members as well, so in the end
only two of us were up for the new position, and I just missed out, however I was made
permanent in the position, made vacant by the other applicant who got the new position,
the position I am in now is of the culling clerk, whose responsibilities are to weed out
the older files and move them to secondary storage, however at this stage, I am filling in
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for the clinic clerk, who has been assigned to a different department to at least march, and I
am responsible for pulling files for the outpatient clinics, and some good news for a Friday
afternoon, (11th Jan 08), we were notified that all AO1 positions in medical records were
being upgraded to AO2 positions, so this means a pay rise, which means I might be able
to start saving money.
I know one thing for sure, I am glad I got this job, I have been accepted as a woman by
my co-workers, other hospital staff, and even the general public that sometimes comes to
my window, now this has been great, especially as some of my co-workers and some of
the hospital staff, knew me before my transition, and they all tend to agree that this has
been the best decision I have ever made as I am a much happier, confident and easier to get
along with person, than I was before, and it is nice to hear these people, that I have worked
with before, calling me Sharon and using, she and her, without even thinking about it and
just being treated as one of the women, they even talk about things to and around me, that
they won’t talk about when there is a male around, they have been very supportive of me
and have offered to help me if and when I need it. It has been great so far and I have been
able to fulfil my dream of being a woman at work, it is great I can wear dresses and skirts
and not have to worry about what people will say. I have even been using the women’s
toilets, with out a problem, this is not only at work but also in town, where I have found
that generally I am accepted as a woman and don’t have to many problems.
I still find it amazing that I have had a rather easy time of it, and I feel I have been very
lucky, most my friends, think it has been great for me and some thought I would go in
this direction but were too afraid to mention it, one of my friends, well she is actually the
mother of a couple of school friends, but a friend none the less, who I had not seen for a
while, met me in the street and gave me a big hug and a kisses and said welcome to the
other side, she even told me that her daughter thinks it is great that I have finally made the
decision, this seams to be the same for a lot of my friends, they give me hugs and say that
I have never looked happier and healthier, well I have lost weight since transitioning, even
got below the weight, that I could never get below before. Some other people, that I have
become acquainted, with even before my transition, thought that I was a woman, when
they first met me, but all agree, that this has been the best thing for me, some people who
I thought were friends, who since first knowing them, have become born again christians
have said that I was doing something wrong, that God made me male and I should be
thankful for that and not change, but to a couple of them, I just turned to them and said
that God loves me and he made me like this so that because of the hardships I have faced
as a male, I can know happiness and become a better woman, this soon shuts them up, and
I don’t usually here from them again, however, one of them is a lawyer, and she comes
to the hospital to view files, she nearly always gives me that look, you know the one, like
she just stepped in something bad, but I just smile and continue on with my work. As for
my family, my sister is a godsend and I really don’t think I could have survived if she
19
hadn’t been there for me, one thing for sure is that we have become closer since I began
my transition, we have done things together as sisters that we never did before, like going
out and having lunch or a coffee together, sharing jewellery, clothes, (when younger I use
to ‘borrow’ them), and sometimes just talking, my niece and nephew both call me Sharon
and accept me for who I am, my brother in law doesn’t really say much, but he is better
than he use to be, at one point early on, before I began my transition, we had had a big
fight, and as a bit of blackmail he was going to tell everyone about me wearing female
clothes, so I told him to go ahead, since then things have gotten better between us, as
for the relatives interstate, I really haven’t gotten around to telling them of my new life,
although some of them knew I was transgendered, so soon I should really write each a
letter and letting them know about the new me.
During the year of 07 I have had my ups and downs, but over all this has been the best
year to date, my transitioning is going well, with no major problems, I have notice that I
don’t have to shave my body as much now, in fact I can go a least a week before I have
to shave again, even my facial hair does not grow back as fast, and even though I shave
every morning, if I have to, I can leave it for a day.
Over 24 hrs since having a shave, and about six weeks since getting my
eyebrows waxed.
I have even been going out more, apart from going down town, I have
been going to the cinema more, and I have also been going out at night,
to a monthly party held by and for the local GLBT people and their
friends, well this started late in 07 and I hope to continue in 08.
What I wore, minus shoes, as I had not decided which ones to wear yet,
the first time I went out to the GLBT rainbow party. This Party is held
upstairs in a bar of the Todd Tavern.
So who knows what the future will hold, I can only hope 08 and all my years to come are
better, and I can’t wait till I can get rid of that thing between my legs.
Well that’s my story for now, but like life itself, the ending has yet to be written.
Written by Sharon Samantha Lothian, January 08.
20
SPECIES OF CROSSDRESSER (AT SUPPORT GROUP MEETINGS)
THE OLD PRO
Dressed way before the
Stonewall Riots
The “GUY”
Doesnt dress, but wishes he did
THE ROASTER
Wears layers of clothes loses 10
pounds surprisingly
THE GIFTED ROOKIE
Everyone is instantly
jealous
THE DRIVER
THE STREETWALKER
Or if you prefer “ Rock Star”
THE FOREST
Too Scared to get out of the
car
Never shaves in the right places
THE FETISHIST
THE CLOSETED
Wears spiked everything, may
be chained to someone
21
“I’ll be there next month!”
?
?
HYERE
WH
W
W
W
WHAT
?
H
HEEN ?
RE
?
22
The Girls at The Vanity Club have been recently posed a very pertinent question that is
both personal and one of the hardest questions I feel that we, as transgendered, will ever
face, that is..........
KIDS
“To Tell or not to tell..That is the Question”...
Here are their conclusions ......
“To Tell or not to tell..That is the Question”...and this is absolutely not a “one size fits all”
situation. What worked for me or Suzy Q may not necessarily work for you or anyone else.
Conventional wisdom seems to indicate that the earlier a child is aware of Dads predilection to
appear to be a female, the better.
I have personally enjoyed being Auntie Gina to several young offspring of friends (who
invariably, upon my arrival if its after school, rush off to bring THEIR little friends in to meet
‘Auntie’).
The old question of “need to know” HAS to play a serious and reasoned role in the decision
making. Whilst we may harbour qualms about it , it is almost inevitable that the wife of the
couple facing this dilemma will be terrified at the thought of the children knowing. My personal
experience has shown that we do not give our children enough credit for having the capacity to
accept, even if they don’t completely understand.
Obviously, the matter will take on urgency if one is ‘transitioning’ or about to have any form of
body altering surgery. It then becomes more a matter of ‘when’ and not ‘if’ the kids are told.
In my case, I missed out on the opportunity when my kids were little, and subsequently went to
what is probably the opposite extreme. For better or worse, I decided that I would not tell them (3
boys and a girl) until they had completed at least their first university degree and were completely
self supporting, my thinking based on the assumption that if they wanted to tell me to bugger off,
they’d be ‘their own man’, and any ‘acceptance’ on their part would not be predicated on the fact
that the ‘old man’ still held the purse strings.
Things could not have worked out better , so I’d really done something right..or rather WE,
my wife and I. Between two sons, there are currently 5 grandkids the eldest being nearly 5 yrs
old. What has yet to be decided, and this is a decision that my kids will make, is whether or not
THEIR kids are told about Gina and if so when. Consequently, when we baby sit the grandkids I
‘revert’ to being ‘Pa’. the current ‘indecision’ is based simply on the fact that my kids want their
kids to have a ‘Grandfather’ and NOT three Grandmothers, and so far I quite see their point, so it
has been a non-issue with me, not to mention a delight for my wife.
Hugs
Gina 439
23
This is a topic that, in one way or another, has troubled me for what seems like
forever. I’ve brought it up in other groups without reaching any satisfactory
conclusions. Maybe because there aren’t any. As Gina pointed out there are
probably as many “solutions” as there are individuals. My own solution was, like
Suzie’s, to maintain secrecy - and for the same reason as Suzie - out of respect for
my wife’s “preference” that our son & daughter not be told and because we had
no wish to expose them to the possibility that discovery could result in negative
consequences for them. When they were very young my dressing opportunities
were limited somewhat but not much. As they got older, it became increasingly
difficult until they married and left home. Now I enjoy almost complete freedom but only of the house since my wife has asked that I not go out.
I have to agree with Cheryl. If you’re going to tell your children, tell them sooner
rather than later. They are more accepting when young and uninfluenced by
prejudices that will be imposed on them as they grow up. I cannot conceive of
telling my “kids” (they’re in their mid-40’s now) at this late date. Indeed it troubles
me that there is the possibility that when I die my “secret” will become known to
them. I have no wish to add to their emotional burden at a time like that but have
yet to come up with a foolproof solution to avoid it.
Like Suzie said “I am a little envious .........of those who are out to their family and
friends. It must be a lot less stressful that way.” Personally, I have no problem
in coming out to friends - though I haven’t & see no compelling reasons to do so.
What they think of me is of some concern, but not a lot. Family is another matter
altogether and, again like Suzie, I think I missed my opportunity as far as they are
concerned, long ago.
Lena
VC 479
Here’s my 2 cents...I have two kids, my son will be 21 in March and my daughter will be
18 in March. My son is a junior in college in another state and my daughter is a senior
in high school. She was just accepted at a university and will probably move out of the
house in a year. As far as I know, the kids do not know about having a TG dad. My son
walked in on me and my wife about 2 and a half years ago when we were sitting on
the couch watching a movie, (a rare occasion of hanging out together while dressed).
He came home unexpectedly, but my wife rushed him out of the room and he did not
realize it was me. I told him the next day that it was me and I lost a bet and had to wear
girls clothes. He a very smart kid on a scholarship at a private university, so he’s no fool,
but I doubt he thinks I am a crossdresser unless I am completely deluding myself. We
have never discussed it again. As for my daughter, I have no inkling that she knows
although, I assume that my daughter has looked through our closet like most kids and
24
she must have seen all of these woman’s clothes never worn by my wife, but she has
never asked me or my wife about it. I don’t think I have ever given my kids a reason
to think that I am TG. If either of my children ever ask me, I would be completely
open and honest about it. Life is complicated enough for young people. We have a
happy family and I respect my wife’s wishes to keep this a private matter. I told my
sister about a year and a half ago and she was very cool about it and she has seen me
dressed. She also had no idea about me which is good...I am glad that I have the ability
to compartmentalize my gender issues.
Dee
VC 482
...and I’m not really kidding. As I mentioned before we don’t give kids enough credit for the
level of perspicacity they possess.
I hate to be talking about ME all the time, but then I cant very well speak for anyone else ! I
thought that I was the cleverest trans person alive where it came to ‘covering my tracks’ and
‘hiding’ this side of me from my kids. As previously mentioned I’d elected to wait until they were
all self sufficient and in no way ‘beholden’ to me financially.
I was all the more careful (I thought) because of my wife’s great fear that they should ever
know about me.
I told each boy separately, in Dad mode, and ended the telling by asking them to look at
pictures of me so that they didn’t go off with some half cocked idea of what I looked like as a
woman.
My eldest son looked intently at the selection of pictures I presented and commented “ Wow,
at least I know now if I ever have a daughter, she’ll be beautiful” . Wasn’t that the sweetest
thing ? ( and I’m not making this up :))
My middle son responded (with whom I play a lot of golf when he’s not off living it up in LV)
that he thought the whole thing was a plot of mine to get to play off the Ladies Tee so that I
could beat him again. (Doesn’t it rot your guts how you teach kids stuff and 5 minutes later
they’re better than you at it ?) .
That brings us to the youngest son, fresh out of Uni and in his first job. He listened intently to
‘the telling’, stopping me in my tracks several times with penetrating questions. At the end he
interrupted my spiel about ‘looking at pictures’ with “I’ve seen you already Dad, I’ve known
about you for a long time” . After I’d picked up my jaw from the floor, I stammered , “what
do you mean you’ve seen me ?”. This was in the days of Polaroid and 35 mm cameras and
I’d just gotten a ‘state of the art’ ONE megapixel digital camera..so the Polaroid’s had to be
scanned in a little ‘reader’ to the PC for ‘sharing’. He said that one weekend when he was
home from Uni he’d gone to my study to find a pencil or something, had opened the PC desk
drawer and there were some pictures of this woman. So much for my careful cleverness ! He
said it took him a few minutes to realize that he was looking at me. Turns out that was like
about 3 years previously, so I said to him, “If you’ve known for so long, WHY haven’t you ever
come to me and spoken about it ?” His answer ? “ Well Dad, I really didn’t think that you were
25
ready to know that I knew “.
And No, I absolutely did NOT leave them (the pics) there with some unspoken self destructive
‘wish’ to be found out :))
I guess the message here is don’t be ‘accidentally’ found out, subconsciously hoping against
hope that the kid (or wife) will then be the one to confront you, so that you can then be
‘honest and open’ about the whole thing. They just may not and instead end up confused and
unhappy.
Be careful out there !
Gina 439
Sometimes you don’t have to tell them.
They just know.
Yesterday I visited my son, twisted my ankle in his drivweay, and when I limped into the
house he said, “What’s the matter, Pop, you’re walking like an old woman”.
Lily
VC410
A fascinating debate, I think you’ll agree, and a situation that I found myself in
last year. The difference being was that my situation was bourne more from worrying
about my Son than myself, allow me to explain.
My son has always been a ‘sensitive’ child, and this came to a head last year when,
in my opinion, he began to exhibit ‘transgenderish’ traits, hard to explain, but I think
you all know what I mean. The thought of him growing up, like I and many of us
have, feeling totally alone, not knowing ‘what’ we are, was too much for me to bear,
and so, with much soul searching and alibi analysing, we approached the question of
HOW rather than IF.
I’m always of the opinion that if you let a child discover things rather than drill
things into them , then those lessons are learnt for life and so decided that the best
tact would be to ‘discover’ for himself. Not in the “ OH MY GOD!!!!!!!! “ form of
discovery, but a more subtle approach. And so one day I left the front page of the current Narcisse on the screen of my computer and pretended to do other things.
Time quite literally stood still as he approached the desk and studied the image......
26
“‘Ere Dad!” he said ( in his pretty broad South London accent ) “ Thats you isnt it?”
“ What makes you say that? “ I asked
“ Oh “ he said “ I can tell by your smile “
Well!!! What can you say to that? I sat him down and explained the basics, asked
him if he was cool with it all, and of course the next biggy, did HE have any questions..
“ Just one “ ( OMG what???? )
“ Yes Son? “
“ Are you Famous? “
Children.......PURE CLASS xxxx
Mandy Taylor ( Editor )
27
The
S
C
O
T
T
The Wit
& The
Wardrobe
28
Hi gang, due to unforeseen circumstances the fashion guru was unavailable this issue, so
instead I found a lil article that I thought would make you smile and is soooooo true!!!
Hope you enjoy x
Thing’s about
clothes that
boys don’t
get
BAGS and why we love them
Women love bags for the same reason they love shoes: they dont make you feel
fat, you dont have to get undressed to try them on, size is either a non-issue or
simply not related to your stomach, and they dont necessarily suit Kate Moss any
better than you.
Get one with a strap just long enough to shove on to your shoulder or hold in
your hand. Don’t be an idiot and get one in suede, cotton, canvas or some other
non-waterproof fabric that you have to worry about getting dirty. You can find perfectly decent bags on the high street but they tend to either look like they are made
for 13 year old girls or for the Maj herself.
This is yet another reason, on top of the more obvious status symbol cachet,
why more and more women are forking out for designer handbags. Plus you will
probably give your bag more of a battering than you will a summer dress, so it is
worth spending a little more on something that is well made and wonr fall apart
after three outings and one rainfall. A smidgen of practical justification - but just a
smidgen mind.
29
DRESSES God’s gift to women
There is no garment more liberating to women
than a dress (except maybe a nice hotel bathrobe,
but were not allowed to go to work in those yet).
A good dress will never make you feel fat, can be
worn with flats or heels, and everybody can find
a style that suits them. None of these statements
can be applied to trousers, which squeeze round
your waist and thighs, often make your bum look
the size of Equador and slip down ever so immodestly when you sit - and yes, I am including
jeans in these critisisms.
With judicious layering you can wear a summer dress all year round, and the fact that you
need to deal with only one garment in the morning is the sartorial icing on this fashion gateau.
To the old rule ‘the higher the hemline, the
lower the heel’, one could add ‘ the higher the
hemline, the longer the sleeves’, merely to compensate in terms of flesh coverage.
The joy of most dresses lies in their kindness
to most body types by sculpting them into a more
flattering shape. (Warning: the wrap dress is, contrary to belief, kind only to the chosen few. If you
have a curvy bust, narrow waist and flattish stomach, well done, you have found your uniform.
If you fall short in any of these departments, its
much praised jersey fabric manages to be both
unflatteringly clingy and immodestly loose.)
JEWELLERY and when fashion just gets obnoxious
There is no point to real jewellery except to show off how rich you are. The only
excuse would be if you were living in some soon-to-be-toppled economy where you had
to convert your life savings into something that wouldn’t be worthless tomorrow. All too
often women think that if they’re going to get the jewellery out they may as well go the
whole hog - a statement piece. Think oversized clanging earrings, hideaous brooches,
whacking great necklace dangling down the cleavage.
30
Accessories are the sprinkles on a cake
- there to improve, not form the whole meal.
They are not essential and, when done badly,
definately an over-sweetened detriment. But
when employed with a sage and delicate hand
they make the difference between generic
blandness and decorative indulgence.
HEELS The highs, the lows - and when fat is better than thin
The whole theory behind heels is that men, allegedly, find them sexy. A spindly
spike creates the illusion that the woman is an airy Tinkerbell-like creature who can
float through the air, such is her lightness. The brilliant thing about thick heels is that
it doesn’t look like your trying so hard to be sexy and this, in itself, is sexier. There is
something undeniably tragic about seeing a woman teeter about on her spindly heels
all in the name of male approval, whereas a woman who wears thick heels oozes confidence
The stiletto is the oddest concept, and it would have
to be interesting to see how it was first pitched: ‘Het,
I know guys! Lets make shoes that force women to
walk on their tippy-toes all day. Crank up the machines!’ And yet, here we are, hundreds of millions
of women hoisting themselves daily onto the balls
of their feet in the name of fashion, spending hundreds of pounds on shoes they literally cannot walk
in. Stilettos make women: a) grumpy, b) lazy (due
to immobility), and c) pathetically slow. This is not
to deny that high heels can be fun. Yes, they can be
glamorous and yes, they’re quite fun to dance in for
a few minutes. But there are so many pretty, dainty
flats to wear to parties, and you’ll dash about like
a veritable dynamo, leaving men wondering who
that fabulous creature was. Wear stilettos and you’ll
spend the evening slumped uncomfortably in the
corner before you give up, take off your shoes and
show the world your cracked heels and hammer toes.
31
SIZING The high-street myth
Billions of women bow down daily to the altar of size, basing their mood and general
sense of self on whether or not they are able to fit into the size 10 trousers today. If it’s
a yes, you’ll skip down the street to the bus stop, patting small children on the head and
waving jauntily to the newsagent as if you were in a Judy Garland musical.
Can’t even get them over your thighs? A cloud
as dark as pitch swamps your horizon, you’re filled
with self-loathing and disgust and cancel that lunch
with your friend because you have decided never to
eat again.
Yet sizes alter between shops and designers because there is no stipulations about what the measurements are - everyone knows that one stores 10 is
another’s size 12. Many high-street stores need to
bear in mind that a large majority of their customers are teenagers and therefore their sizes have to be
a little smaller to avoid putting negative digits on
some of their labels.
But that does seem a bit tough on the adult
shopper. So although sizes should not be seen as a
negative reflection on your personal appearance,
they should, nonetheless, be taken pretty personally.
A store whose sizes seem to be so angrily unwelcoming is a store that is saying it doesn’t want
you as a customer. Respond in kind with a spin on
your heel and your purse remaining tucked inside
your whatever sized jeans.
VANITY The joys thereof
When people knock fashion the most common critisism is that it’s a vain, selfobsessed pursuit. But the fact is that feeling of pride in one’s appearance instils happiness and self-confidence. I conced that at times this does cross over into extremes
resulting in quite the opposite, with women labouring under a lifetime curse of selfhatred and physical contortion - and this is very wrong.
32
But it seems similarly anti-female to insist
that in order to be a true feminist, one is not
allowed to have any vanity.
This is just a breath away from the old
anti-femenist stereotype about hairy armpits
which led to a generation of girls loath to
describe themselves as femenists in case this
makes them sound in favour of body hair as
opposed to equal pay. Patriarchal society or
not, everyone likes to look good. Even Ann
Widdicombe went blond, and, as this proves,
this is not just about looking good for the boys
- it’s about looking in the mirror and having a
little smile.
DATES and why they are the one
event for which you really needn’t
worry about what you wear
Taken from The Meaning of Sunglasses: A guide to Almost All Things
Fashionable by Hadley Freeman
(Penguin,£15)
Of course you want to look nice, but
you know what looks best of all? You feeling comfortable, relaxed and confident about
your appearance. You could find the shortest, slinkiest, sexiest dress in the world, but if
you spend the whole evening tugging at your
cleavage and pulling down the hem you may
as well have worn a sack for all the seductive
signals you’re giving out. Don’t wear stupid
shoes you can’t walk in, and don’t wear anything that will give you hypothermia; just stick
with an old favourite that always makes you
feel good and has garnered compliments in the
past. A girl laughing and dancing and making sparkling conversation = attractive; a girl
whinging about being cold and insisting on
getting a taxi for a 200-yard journey = colossal pain!
33
AND, I didn’t get the job....
W
H
Y
34
You would think that any normal person would know better,
but apparently not. Here are some examples of hilariously
bad behavior interviewers report as actually happening during
interviews with potential job candidates.
This list came to us as a survey of top personnel executives from
100 major US corporations—the question was about unusual
behavior by job applicants. Whether they’re real or not, it’s a fun
way to illustrate how not to behave.
• Applicant claimed to be so well qualified that if he didn’t get the job, it
would prove the company’s management was incompetent.
• Applicant stretched out on the floor to fill out the job application.
• Applicant brought her large dog to the interview.
• Applicant chewed bubble gum and constantly blew bubbles
.
• Applicant kept giggling through serious interview.
• Applicant wore a Walkman, claiming she could listen to the interviewer
and the music at the same time.
35
· Balding applicant abruptly excused himself and returned to the
office a few minutes later, wearing a hairpiece.
· Applicant challenged the interviewer to arm wrestle.
· Applicant asked to see the interviewer’s resume to see if the
personnel executive was qualified to interview him.
· Applicant announced she hadn’t had lunch and proceeded to eat a
hamburger and french fries during the interview.
· Without saying a word, applicant stood up and walked out during
the middle of the interview.
· Applicant wore a jogging suite to interview for the position of
financial vice-president. (Yes, dress codes are getting more casual.
But please.)
· Applicant asked interviewer if he would put on a suit jacket to
ensure the offer was formal.
36
· Applicant said if he were hired, he would demonstrate his loyalty
by having the corporate logo tattooed on his forearm.
· Applicant interrupted to phone his therapist for advice on
answering specific interview questions.
· Applicant refused to get out of his chair until interviewer agreed to
hire him. Interviewer had to call the police to have him removed.
· When asked about his hobbies, applicant stood up and started tap
dancing around the interviewer’s office.
· Applicant had a miniature pinball game and challenged the
interviewer to play with him.
· Applicant bounced up and down on the office carpet and told
interviewer she must be highly thought of by the company to get
such a thick carpet.
· Applicant removed a hairbrush from the interviewer’s purse,
brushed his hair, and left.
· Applicant pulled out a Polaroid camera and snapped a flash picture
of the interviewer. He claimed to collect photos of everyone who
interviewed him.
· Applicant said he wasn’t interested because the job paid too much.
· While the interviewer was in the middle of a long-distance call, the
applicant took out a copy of a popular men’s magazine and looked
at the photos only, stopping longest at the centerfold.
37
· During the interview, an alarm clock went off in the applicant’s
briefcase. He took it out, shut it off, apologized, and said he had
to leave for another interview.
· A telephone call came in for the job applicant. His side of the
conversation went as follows: “Which company? When do I start?
What’s the salary?” When the interviewer said he assumed the
applicant was not interested in completing the interview, he
promptly responded “I am as long as you’ll pay me more.” The
interviewer did not hire him, and later found out there was no
other job offer--it was a scam to get a better offer.
38
COMPETITION
TIME!!
39
OK Gang, plenty of subliminal messages on this
page, lets see how many you can pick up on !!!
Firstly......this is a COMPETITION!!! The format
will work like this. Every issue I will give you a challenge. This challenge is to see who can look the sassiest, sexiest and downright mmmmmmmmmmmmiest,
For this months challenge you must ‘shine’ with
your PETS!! Yes, thats all I ask, that your pet
pooch, pussy, panda or Pteradactyl share the limelight! How simple is that ( did you spot the hidden
message? pet.......picture of....a.....?!...no?.....jeeeeez)
The competition is open to all readers, just send
your pictures to
[email protected]
titling the email BEAUTY AND THE BEAST
COMPETITION,
The winner will get a full page spread in the next
issue of Narcisse
So GOOD LUCK & GET ENTERING!!!
40
QOTM
U
E
S
T
I
O
N
H
E
F
41
O
N
T
H
This months QOTM took a surreal slant to the inner psyche of our readers and could
have been ( and was! ) interpreted in many was, so this issues poser was......
Q: Who is the voice that talks in your head every time you read?
(PS. for more information on this , and many other, silly questions, please watch more
Monty Python!!!! giggle )
Your wrote.....
The voice in my head when I read
is always Kathleen Turner
from “Body Heat.” Her voice back
then was the sexiest I had ever
heard. I still watch that movie and
close my eyes just to hear her
talk! Gives me shivers.
Kisses,
Louisa
To me the voice is the narrator of what ever I’m reading. For instance if I am
reading a story told from a woman’s point of view then I hear that woman’s voice.
When I am reading dialogue then I hear the voice or voices of the individual
speakers in the dialogue, as my imagination tells me they would sound. If I am
reading a letter or anything else written by someone I know personally then I
am hearing that person’s voice.
Now that we’ve got the seriuos answer out of the way, I have to admit that sometimes
all of these voices sometimes get mixed up with the voices I hear in my head when
I’m not reading anything. When that happens I get so dizzy I feel I should be wearing
my blonde wig. (giggle)
Renee
42
I am not sure what you are asking. Do most people hear
only one voice??? Sometimes I seem to have several voices
telling me what to do. It is confusing since they seldom tell
me the same thing. I have this “little quiet” voice that gives
me insights, that I often pay attention to. When I don’t I
usually regret it. I call this voice God. Sometimes, when I am
driving to a destination and come to a decision as to which
way to turn, the God voice tells me. When I go the other
way I often run into traffic and realize that I should have
listened to the voice. This happens frequently.
The other voices are just echos sometimes. Jim has been
walking across campus, at work, and realize that Jamie is at
the helm. It is always a pleasure to hear her in my thoughts.
I can’t recall ever hearing Jim butt into Jamie’s time. I guess
we all know who has the power here.
While reading, and typing this text I feel that Jamie is doing
the talking. I feel that most of my thoughts are driven by
Jamie. She has blended with Jim and has very good control.
Maybe that is not blending, so much, Just moving in.
For those of you wondering, Yes I have been to therapy!!! It
was very interesting!
Jamie R
Thats a ‘no brainer’ Mandy :) The simple answer is “ME”
Hugs
Gina 439
Hi gang, it’s definitely the sensitive woman called Jennifer that
speaks in my head everytime as I read.
Hugs Jennifer
43
I would have to say that I really do take advantage of that person that is
behind my brain driving the input lever and the sort it all out bins. While
set to the task of reading anything and everything from Mistries to
Technical manuals. I wouldn’t have even thought of him or her (which
ever moment I’m in), unless someone asked such a question. I do know
that this person is very gender neutral, (not androginis but with the
ability to absorb masculine and feminine). I pretty much take a lot for
granted in who and what they are. These folk are the ones that are giving
me the ambitions and curiosities that make up me.
That person doing the reading, it absolutely my true self. The one person
not like any other person in the world with all the desires one person can
have. I’ll call him/her Id. Hopefully he/she is stronge enough to avoid
conflictis with that person who tends to be quite over powering and very
selective in his/her rational. I’ll call him/her ego. And what Ego doesn’t
deal well with. Well it’s all up to Ms. Alter Ego, Gawd she’s adorable. self
sufficient and can dance. If it weren’t for her, Id and Ego wouldn’t know
how they were and would be constantly battling for supremacy.
Hugs
Joanie
My answer applies to pretty much all the time,
not just when I read.
HE and I are a team: When in male mode, “He” is
in charge and I’m the voice in his head. When in
Femme mode, I’m in charge and he is the voice
in my brain.
Or think of it this way. When he’s driving the
supercharged muscle car, I’m the backseat
driver; when I’m driving the cute pink Miata,
he’s the passenger seat driver (no back seat
:-) In an emergency, either one of us can take
control, but we try to avoid that as much as
possible.
PS. We do have a Miata, Red because they don’t
make a pink one - darn!. HE says it’s the normal
part of his mid-life crisis. Guess who he thinks
is the abnormal part. :-)
Jezzi
44
If the book has been made into a movie, then it is usually the
characters voice from the movie, (i.e. Hermione from Harry
Potter), sometimes the voice speaks in the gender of the
character, other times it is just my own voice. it all depends
on the book
Hugs
Sharon
You mean there are people who have only one
voice in their head. When I read Lady Narator
does the naration and any charictor has their
own voice. Any thing contrary to Lady Narator’s
opinion is often done in a wide veriety of
sarcastic tones.
Connie Rotten
Good question, and one that really got me thinking.
I’m one of those women who came into the world wearing a Boy
Suit; I guess they ran out of the proper models when I came into the
world. Unfortunately, I’m still in it, as it also came with a defective
zipper. Someday, I’ll speak to someone in Customer Service. Perhaps
the next go ‘round, the Exchange Desk will issue the proper model.
After all, I’ve saved the receipt.
Inside, though, I’m...Me! Her. It’s hard not to slip when talking
about my childhood and accidentally say, “When I was a little
girl...”.
That’s how I know Who the voice belongs to. Me. Her. Not the Him
others see, but the She that really Be.
Best,
Bree.
45
I never thought of it... but it is a MAN! WOW!
I am going to have to change that immediately!
But he is a very trans friendly kinda guy....I probably
would screw him if I had the chance.
Tee hee!
Love
Mel
There is indeed a “voice” inside me. I believe its
the voice of my soul. It has always been there
and has shared past lives with me. I value this
source for the wisdom that comes in when I seem
to need it. It is the source of my connection with
the “All that is”. It’s “speech” is not always in the
form of a voice, but sometimes is simply a source
of the sense of right and wrong in situations, or
the connection to information that supersedes
daily thought and life, and those that have gone
before. I think we all have it, but have different
abilities to access this information, or willingness
to listen.
Leigh Smythe
“
“
All too often it is the damn editor in my head while I read, suggesting changes
or bringing up questions.
When I write, the whining characters keep yammering at me trying to make me
throw away a perfectly good outline. All to often I wind up throwing out the
outline cause those bastards are usually right.
Regards,
Scott
46
PRETTY IN
PINK
WINNER
COMPETITION
WINNER
COMPETITION
WINNER
47
COMPETITION
Adara Morgan
Congratulations!
48
D
R
E
W
With DREW
your HISTORY!
49
Here we go, 2008, a new year, a time for renewal and changes and above all else
time for the truth to come out. Here at Narcisse, we are a close-knit group of writers
more like a family really and we stick close to our friends and believe in making
sure none of them is smeared with any wrongdoing that is misplaced. Therefore,
with this in mind we go onto one of my favorite shows and groups of the past year
“Britain’s Got Talent” and “The Kit Kat Doll’s”
Like many of you who are living in the U.K or have heard about it all and looked at
it all on www.youtube.com, I was glued to the screen watching all the acts come on
from lil girls to old men singing George Formby while dressed as elderly window
cleaners. Then there came from nowhere a shining star which the stage of Britain
hasn’t seen in many a year and thanks to certain other Journalists we may not see
again for quite a while. They were on stage with a burst of an energy I wish I could
harness and pump myself full of, they stood there for the whole theater and world to
see and berate and gave their all to “Don’t cha” and personally, it rocked my world.
And I fell head over heels in love with a group which made me smile and laugh like
I haven’t done in years.
And what made this oh so much better was as they stood in front of the judges they
had actually managed to make the “Simon Cowell” gob smacked and basically lost
for words, but when he did manage to get it out he said and this from him is as good
as any praise in the world. He said that the Kit Kat Doll’s had the talent and attitude
to take it all the way and be a huge success. However, as usual those wonderfully
moral angels we know as the mass press decided this could not happen so they set
about digging dirt on some of the group. Then used it to create and set up a situation
to trap and exploit a member’s long past personal private life to bring down what in
truth something that made them realize they were in truth not doing what they really
wanted to do and were angry it was not them in the lime light.
50
So as always for you dear readers I have gone out there looked and searched for the
truth behind those drawn curtains and closed doors and found the real people behind the
tonnes of crap that you see out there in today’s overly ridiculed world. So there I was
finally talking with Vanilla Lush and Nat Udom two members of the once great band.
Two people who are so much different from the nasty crusty fingered whores we have
been lead to believe they were, but in the end why should being a worker in one of the
worlds oldest jobs instantly make you bad. I mean if I told you I worked as a lady of
the night a street walker would you instantly say what crap this article is and drop me
into the bin with the rest of life’s un savory types? No I think in truth you wouldn’t we
all know what makes a truly bad person and that isn’t being a sex worker no its killing
innocents and slandering people in public and casting aspersions about them that are
blatant lies.
So here are what follows an un edited interview with them shame I couldn’t get them
both together to have done this but who knows one day we may get them all back
together.
51
First of all Vanilla may I say from your new photo’s that you keep looking better and
better, as you quite obviously know the nation have been fooled into seeing you and the
Kit Kat Doll’s as a bunch of evil transsexuals hookers. I myself along with the rest of
the writers know that this is a falsehood and with this interview you have agreed to do
set the record straight and get your side of the argument out there. So again thank you
for doing this and lets get started.
(Drew)
So what was it like for you growing up in Holland and did you have any idea when you
were young that you wanted to dress as a beautiful woman?
(Vanilla)
I have to say that as a little boy I never actually wore any of my mother’s clothes or
anything – I was introduced to the concept by my at the time boyfriend, who did drag on
the club scene in Amsterdam. I got into it through him and some friends, and the Royal
Treatment when arriving at the Clubs, with all its many perks! Later I was asked to host
some evenings and from then on I figured it would make a very nice career!
(Drew)
So as a young person growing up in Amsterdam do you feel the bohemian life style that
is all part of the feel and appeal of the place had any affect on your sexuality and on
creating the lady we have here entertaining us today?
(Vanilla)
I have to say that living in Amsterdam for about 3 years, that bohemian thing was quite
normal to me, so I have to say I enjoy living in London much more – I suppose you
get used to it there and don’t see it as special any more. Though the drag queens in
the Netherlands do all look like super models – so in style and looks I think this has
contributed a lot.
(Drew)
So as you began to grow up and realise more and see more of the world around you did
you seek to hide or let more people know about your desires and wants for a more open
life style where you could dress as who or however you wanted?
(Vanilla)
No I have always been very open about my drag and the performances and club work.
It’s a great job to do and I don’t see any problem with it, not even with my ‘branching
out into my other work’.
52
(Drew)
So you first appearance dressed up as a woman was it in front of friends and family or
did you have a baptism of fire and jump in at the deep end by doing a performance in
front of a crowded club?
(Vanilla)
Well not so much performing, but it was on a night out – and it certainly was a baptism
of fire. Bad make-up, even worse shoes, and the dress… well turquoise is all I will
say…
(Drew)
Could you tell us about how you came up with the name Vanilla Lush, and how much
if any of how she is you or something for the people to see?
(Vanilla)
I feel that we are both the same, though a bit more refined, naturally. I don’t walk like
that out of heels, and I won’t sit like that either. But character trades I think are quite
similar. And the name is very boring, it was the colour code for the first wig I bought
here in the UK…. I thought it sounded very catchy, and yet I have not met another
Vanilla… I like that..
(Drew)
So what was the reason for a move from Amsterdam to London England and do you
ever get home sick to the point where you would like to go back or do you love it to
much to leave us all behind now?
(Vanilla)
The age old answer…. A MAN. And weekend trips to London drain the bank account
like nothing else… So since I could just pick up and leave and he couldn’t, we decided
I would try living over here. Then when we broke up later on, he helped me find
somewhere to live, and since I had work and friends here I didn’t feel like starting all
over again back ‘home’
(Drew)
So when you reached London what was the first thing you had to do?
(Vanilla)
Unpack! LOL. And I think we went clubbing to Trade that evening, a serious night
out.
53
(Drew)
Do you find it any easier here or back home in Holland being Vanilla?
(Vanilla)
They are both very fabulous – I think it’s to do with the drag queen’s attitude more
then their surroundings, if you are great to get on with then they will want to get to
know you, as apposed to being a complete bitch, which is soo boring
(Drew)
How did you come across your first “Gig”, where was it and how did it all go?
(Vanilla)
I had mentioned in the Way Out club I had done shows before in Amsterdam, so they
booked me on a night, and from there I continued for several years to work there. I also
worked the Powder room in Heaven on Wednesdays.
(Drew)
So before the Kit Kat Dolls did you ever entertain as part of a group or were you more
solo?
(Vanilla)
I was usually solo, though I do have a very good Dutch friend who I used to do duets
with – we work really well together. And I have always liked working with Ritzy
Crackers, especially now at Trannyshack UK, Soho.
(Drew)
So can you please tell us how you got involved with the Kit Kat Dolls and was it all
fun and games or were there plenty of cat fights between you and the rest of the girls?
(Vanilla)
There were open auditions at the Way Out Club, they were looking for a TG group too
resemble the look and set up of the Pussy Cat Dolls, with Bari Bacco as the Manager.
We all did a turn, singing a few verses of ‘ Don’t cha’, and then the call back came and
there were 10 of us for a second audition involving some free-style dance. There we
were told that instead of just the 6 it was going to be all 10 of us.
(Drew)
When up on stage with the group ( and there was a lot of you) did you ever feel you
were all fighting for attention or did the large group make the whole experience better
for you?
54
(Vanilla)
Never – Out of the ten there were four strong singers, although this was only for the
first song – we going to perform a range of different songs and anyone who could sing
was going to. The other 5 were good dancers, so they had their turn to shine in each
track to. Even the singing was divided equally, so it alt turned out to be very fair.
(Drew)
So Britain’s Got Talent, how did you all get involved with that?
(Vanilla)
It came along quite accidentally; we only had been rehearsing the dance routine
for about 5 hours, and singing lessons for 4, when we got the word that we were
auditioning! We approached it as something we could take as a great experience, being
it we had not even performed in front of any one ever before!!
(Drew)
It must have felt great to be part of a competition where you could get the chance to
sing in front of what could possibly millions of viewers along with the Queen and
Prince Phillip. So walk us through the auditions and the show?
(Vanilla)
Oh it started out really badly actually – we were in a huge hall the first audition, with
a tiny little stereo whispering our backing track, and we were dancing on wooden
flooring, so the noise of our heels and the singing completely drowned out the track,
you can imagine that with the short rehearsals we completely lost timing! But then
when the call back came we had been in rehearsals much more, and the second
audition at the Theatre went very well, with Pierce, Amanda and Simon being very
positive and complementing. The next day we were called in to await their decision,
and after a 12 hour wait we were told we were through!
(Drew)
My oh my, you managed to do what millions of people want to do. Shut Simon Cowell
up, the man was gob smacked while watching you and the girls dance and sing and at
the end of it he said you had the attitude and talent to go far in the business. So how
after that to hear both Louis Walsh and other people say things like thank you for
getting rid of them they had no talent?
(Vanilla)
Different horses for different courses.
55
(Drew)
So Vanilla now I must get to the point and I apologise for any pain this may cause at
the memories of such an in justice. It was reported by The News Of The World that
you and another member of the group were allegedly prostitutes and that you your
self invited the N.O.T.W reporter for a sordid sex session saying “I can only see you
for a short time. It’s going to cost you £1,000 in cash if you want to fuck me tonight
darling,” Please could you tell us exactly what happened that night and did you in truth
have any contact with the reporter or was this more made up news?.
(Vanilla)
Yes here we go. It began after ITV’s This Morning. A reporter was waiting for me
with my picture, asking if this picture was me. I had that picture on my My space, so
I confirmed that. Now weeks before, we had discussed our jobs with the rest of the
group, and it was decided we would get rid or clean up our sites, which we had. So
I did not have an active site on, as far as I knew. Then the same reporters organised
a photo shoot with us, the Daily Star, with the obvious aim to get me in a bad shot,
saying all sorts of things, but not having any real proof. ITV was very much aware
of this; they even approached me about it and said it was not a problem. Then for 4
days I had been receiving phone calls asking me for Cindy – my work persona – and
I had been telling them how she was not available and she was out shopping and not
there in the shower etc. But on the Friday after my birthday celebrations, hung over
in the hotel room, I took the deciding call. I was told it was an Asian client that this
PA was booking for (why I didn’t hear alarm bells I don’t know) and he wanted to
see me. I told him no, and I told him why: I was involved with the TV programme,
and I should not be working. The fee was then – on his end, and I stress this – upped
to more and more – and I texted back that it would never be worth the risk of loosing
the TV opportunity. Finally it came to 1000 pounds for the half hour, and I was stupid
enough to agree. But because I didn’t want to leave the safety of the hotel, I told him
to get over here. I also told him he should call me to confirm half an hour before, as I
would not get ready otherwise, something I do for when someone bottles out. When,
ten minutes before the agreed time, I got his phone call, I told him I would not do it,
as he did not call me when he said he would. I was in Tesco getting my room mate and
me dinner. I had shown my room mate all the text messages, so he can confirm my
story. The client said then they were in the hotel, on which I said that I wasn’t there,
and I cancelled the booking, as per my rules set out in the previous texts. Sadly, when
in full dress rehearsals, hair and makeup at the ITV studios the next afternoon, we
were all called in by the producers, who told us the news. They didn’t want to loose us
from their programme, and we even spoke of different scenarios where this could have
seemed to be a job but wasn’t.
56
The producers then decided – rightly – that because it was set at the hotel, and
there were ITV contestants staying in the hotel – minors – it sadly could not be
excused. I then asked to leave the show for the rest of the Dolls to continue, but
this was not an option. 30 minutes later we were on a coach to the hotel, and after
that back home. I was kicked off the Kit Kat Dolls the next day, and have since
not had any word from the ‘manager’ Bari Bacco. I am still in contact with three
other Dolls, and have heard that after a few shows they now have split.
(Drew)
As we all know life can be a really lead weight around our necks at times what
with bills debts and plastic holidays and that some times we all do what ever we
can to keep going and support ourselves and others, so with this in mind I ask this
question have you ever at any time ever sold sex to survive and if so how did it
make you feel?
(Vanilla)
Well I was asked to do it once in a club, and when later that morning I returned
home with a filled purse, without doing much at all, I thought it was quite an
option. I love sex, and am very much a people person, so why not take advantage
of this opportunity?
(Drew)
Do you feel that if a person has at any time in their life or still does sell sex for
money that this is necessarily a bad thing or that it makes them automatically
unworthy to be around others in case they may and this makes me sick that it may
taint their very being?
(Vanilla)
No. I do not work the street corners to support a drugs habit, I do it professionally
and I enjoy it. It is clean, safe, and discreet, and I make sure whomever visits me
had a very enjoyable time here. I provide a service for people who want something
to spice up their life, and I suppose it keeps a lot of families together too. No need
for affairs or weird sexual fantasies the spouse can or will not indulge in… No
reason to split up the family. I won’t tell, and I’m sure they won’t either.
(Drew)
How did you first find out about the news paper article?
57
(Vanilla)
I was contacted the day before by ITV for the Daily Star, but that was not the problem.
It was only in rehearsals and full make-up we were told by the production team, and
consequently removed from the show.
(Drew)
How did the rest of the band react or did they all know about your supposed past
activities?
(Vanilla)
Very sad and disappointed, and it resulted in my direct dismissal from the group. I
tried to reason with them, in vain. However, I am still in contact with 3 of the Dolls,
even though they have now split up. Toni, Jamie Lee and Kit Kat especially.
(Drew)
Did the show boot you off straight away or did they do it due to outside pressures and
how did they treat you when they asked you to go was it with contempt or were they
at least polite?
(Vanilla)
Neither and none of the above. The boot via Email, and no word after that. Very
professional, like I suppose my actions had not been either…
(Drew)
So there you are booted from a show where you could have and should have gone on
to win it, sitting around in the aftermath of such a travesty did the group and your
friends stick by you or did you start to feel pushed out and away form any of them?
(Vanilla)
My friends are still my friends, and they are the only reason I did not get depressed
and down too much.
(Drew)
How hard did all this affect you if at all?
(Vanilla)
I got over it, with support from my real friends – thank you very much especially to
Ritzy and Jay
58
(Drew)
So show done and gone what was it like walking around after it, did people recognise
you and if so did you get any feedback or abuse from any of them?
(Vanilla)
They did when in Drag, and I have to say I only get words of support. Except from two
sources, Vicky Lee and Sarah Lloyd of the Way Out Club. They both have done their
up most to point the finger at how stupid I was. An opinion I think you should air face
to face, not on the club’s website or in public. Nice.
(Drew)
So here we are at the start of a new year and with you doing so well with your
performances where you entertain people alongside of Ritzy Cracker**s**, do you feel
any more accomplished after surviving and coming out the other side of such a vicious
attack on yourself?
(Vanilla)
Yes I do. I know I have something the clubs like, I have a great and ever changing
look, and I sound alright too – LOL. I think there is a lot more positive then negative
around the corner for me, and I’m not going to fall into any honey traps any more ever
again, I can assure you that!!!
(Drew)
So what are your plans for the future and anything else you would like to tell our
readers?
(Vanilla)
Nothing in the pipelines just yet, though I have started too pave the way for some more
live performances, I owe it to myself to pick up where I left off, and to learn from my
mistake. If it sounds too good to be true, it most likely IS!
Thank you again Vanilla for taking the time out of your busy schedule to sit here and
answer these questions for our readers to know the whole truth about what went on
behind closed doors and not some made up story to get rid of some very talented young
ladies who should have won.
So keep safe and well and keep in touch with any future events you maybe involved in.
Thanks very much Drew, I hope others will learn from my misfortune – Just say no
applies on soooo many levels!!!!! Xxxxxxxxxxxxxx Vanilla Lush.
59
But was that the end of it? No far from it Vanilla had some good and some very
hurtful e-mails from the group and her management. It does just seem that because
she decided not to fill the normal shape, look and lifestyle of a “NORMAL” person
and because she had a slightly kinkier past that they wanted to hang her out to dry
where the hacks of the news world could pick her to bits.
I know all of you must have your views on what happened and on how someone who
has ever sold sex should be treated, but just listen to what is about to follow.
From:Bari Bacco
18 June 2007 15:07
To:Vanilla
Hi Vanilla
Due to your actions, I am sorry that you cannot be a member of the
group, who all feel the same.
I am waiting today, to find out all of the legal implications of the
contract with BMG that you signed; I shall let you know in due course.
Bari
From: Vanilla Lush
Sent: 18 June 2007 15:07:37
To: Bari Bacco
Yes well we are under contract for a bit so we should have a talk don’t you think.
Love v.
Here’s the thing. I spoke on the phone to Alex and Kat after receiving
this message. They did not know anything about this or the decision that
they had, apparently, been a part of.
I feel that if not everyone had been consulted before the decision to
‘fire’ me was taken, the email is a lie. Surely the NEWS OF THE WORLD has
done more than enough lying to last us all a lifetime, no need for Bari to
do more of the same.
60
I love the Kit Kat Dolls and cannot apologies enough for the hurt and
anger caused. As Kat will attest I had the press hounding and baiting me
for three days before, hungover and stupid from my birthday party, I made
a silly mistake. I believe passionately in the Kit Kat Dolls, it is the
best thing that has ever happened to me. We have rehearsed ourselves to
bits, our routines and vocals are sharp and tight, and I really do not
want to leave the Kit Kat Dolls. We have all bonded as a group so much
over the last two weeks, like a real family. And I believe a family would
not fire the one member who makes a mistake. I hope we can be stronger
than that as a group. One for all and all for one and all that.
For those of you who read the article, please know it is 80% lies. I have
Kat as my witness to all the messages I sent and received, as he was there
with me. I will gladly tell you in detail the whole cause of events as it
happened, in a seperate email.
Bari, I feel a decent manager should be able to handle this situation in a
calm and organised manner. For instance, a manager should have spoken with
me directly about the papers to investigate what was true and what was
not. Also a manager should have spoken to me directly about any actions to
be taken, rather than panicing or making knee-jerk reactions. May I then
remind you of the contract we have all signed, wherein you are required to
give three months notice before terminating our agreement :“ 2. Term
1 year commencing on signature whereupon either party may terminate this
agreement upon 3 months written notice to the other. “
So there it is, in black and white, fire proofed so to speak.
But I don’t want to leave the Kit Kat Dolls! Now or in 3 months!
I know I messed up. I feel sick thinking about it and I will forever be
sorry.
But this can easily be truned around. We are now hotter then ever
before!!! The Kit Kat Dolls is not over, and I want to remain part of the
best group in the world! I promise you nothing like this will ever happen
again, and, as usual, 150% INPUT.
61
I have attached two files with all the support messages we received on
myspace.
We can not give up now. The public love our act and our group and
attitude, and every member of the group has their own fans.
I remember something being said at the Britain’s Got Talent meeting. “ I
could step down form the Kit Kat Dolls for the BGT only and rejoin on
monday so the Kit Kat Dolls could remain on the show, if that would be
acceptable to the show’s producers.”
I know you are all disappointed and hurt, but I would hope we can all be
professional and adult enough to come together in a meeting to decide our
next move. Kit Kat Dolls and Bari around the table is what I would like to
see.
I again apologise to you all.
I hope to receive a reply from all of you, Kit Kat Dolls and Bari.
I love you all and I hope we, my new family and I, can work through this
difficult situation and grow into an even stronger group.
Sincerely, Vanilla.
PS jamie I have your straightners
PPS luke I have your mouthwash
Thanks
----- Original Message ----From:Vanilla
To:KKD
Sent: Tuesday, June 19, 2007 5:09 PM
Subject: Strength of a group.
Dear Bari and KKD
I received an email from bari on monday at about 4, please read it.
62
From:Nat Udom
To:Vanilla
YOU’RE FORGIVEN ! PLEASE DON’T DO THAT AGAIN... THIS IS THE
DREAM OF
EVERYONE IN THE GROUP!
Love,
Nat Udom
PS: WE HAVE THE GIG FOR G.A.Y ON 7 JULY.
CLICK LINK BELOW...
http://www.g-a-y.co.uk/eventdetail.asp?ID=627
Just remember, none of us are 100% identical, none of us are the same truly in any
way. We all are unique we all choose what path to follow in life and all the bad and
good things that we do and that happen to us shape us into the people we are today.
I mean if it weren’t for all the bad things dear Vanilla has been through, would she
be able to appreciate all the good things that she has today or will have.
So just remember take a leaf from the book of life never judge people on what
they have done as the past is just that the past and will only cause problems if you
keep dragging it up again and again. So show your support send your love and best
wishes to the wonderful person that Vanilla really is and the rest of The Kit Kat
dolls.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
63
Personal Profile
There are so many
mascaras on the market
these days, that even
for a die hard it’s very
confusing and hard to
choose.
There are a few good
things that the makers
of these mascaras have
done over the years and
the main two are that
all mascaras are now
ophthalmologically
tested, which means they
are safe for most people
who wear contacts and
the second is they make a
good range for sensitive
eyes.
64
Right let’s get down to the nitty gritty….
Below I have listed the main mascaras that are available
from all the good brands. Please note at this point that
it is false economy to buy cheap mascaras, they do not
last as long and will become dried out much quicker.
They will also not go on your lashes as easily as a decent
brand will.
1. General:
This is your basic mascara and is a good one for
beginners.It is also a good stand by for your handbag.
1. Lengthening and Defining:
This mascara is very good for eyelashes that are short but
still have a thickness to them. They are usually a two in
one mascara, which means that one end which is a white
colour goes on first, followed by the darker colour. They
work well and make lashes look much better.
2. Volumising:
This mascara is for people with thin or thinning
eyelashes. It is very good but make sure you buy a descent
brand because you don’t want horrible clumping on your
lashes.
65
1. Volumising and Lengthening.
This mascara is very good; it gives your lashes lots of
volume and fantastic length. People who have short
and thin lashes (this tends to happen to us all as we get
older), would definitely benefit from one of these types
of mascara. Even if you have good eyelashes it is a must
in any ones make up bag, because when you are going
somewhere to impress then there’s nothing like full
lovely lashes on a nice made up face.
2. Waterproof.
This mascara is a must if you do a lot of sports, especially
swimming and still want lovely looking lashes. It stays
in place and is also very good for people who tend
to perspire a little too much, as it will not leave dark
smudges under your eyes. This mascara does need a
different type of eye make up remover. One that has an
oil base to it, other wise you’ll be there for ever and a day
trying to get the stuff off.
66
Some important things to remember about mascara
1. Always remove eye make up, as your eye will soon become
sore.
2. Never keep your mascara for more then 6 months and
always try to keep it in a cool place.
3. Never use or let any one use your mascara. This is the one
sure way of passing on a nasty infection.
4. Try to keep your wand and mascara case clean, this will
stop any accidentally getting on your hands and will also
stop the mascara from getting bits into it.
5. Always make sure you take notice of your body. If you
should start to feel itchy or sore around your eye once you
have applied your mascara then it may mean that you have
a slight reaction to it. Sometimes this is a one off and you
can have no problems but if it persists then try another
brand.
Just a note really about adverts, you have to be careful
because most of the models that are shown have had lash
extensions so the look that you will achieve will not be the
same. It’s a sneaky way of making lashes look fuller and
longer then they are.
If you have any questions about make up or anything
related to beauty treatments, including the eyelash
extensions then please write in and ask me. I would love to
hear from you.
Kaz xxx
67
68
How Many Candles???
FEBRUARY
(Belated - sorry!)
Alison
Caroline
Brenda
Candi
Cheryl
Dawn
69
Dayna
Fiona
Heather
Joelle
Karen
Lesley
Lynne
M
70
Marsha
Michelle
Orla
Rachel
Renata
Sally
Selina
Sonny
Steve
Theresa
71
MARCH
Nicola
Carla
Greta
Angela
Donna
Jessica
72
Angelina
Ed
Kristina
Lynn
Maralyn
Michelle
Pheonix
Rebecca
Shaylee
Steph
73
Tara
APRIL
Abby
Amanda
April
Caroline
Chantal
Charlene
Ciara
Dawn
74
Elise
Georgina
Gloria
Henry
Jason
Jennyfer
John
75
Heather
Jenny-anne
Lana
Leigh
Lizbeth
Tammi
Tonia
Happy
Birthday!!
76
Problem
Solved!
77
CENTREFOLD
78
Vital Stats
Name: Andrea Nicole
Age: 39
Measurements: 38-26-36
Dress Size: 12/14
Shoe Size: 11
Height:
5’ 10”
Location: Atlanta, Ga.
Email
Baker
[email protected]
I am a self-confident person who is very comfortable being out in
public as a woman. I adore shopping, going to a restaurants, movies
and clubs. I enjoy dressing in a stylish and fashionable manner. I
love being complimented on my complete feminine appearance.
My earliest memory, of my interest in feminine dressing, was seeing
my sister wearing a gorgeous blue party dress which Mom had
purchased for her 13th birthday party. I was about 10 years old at
the time. I could not get the thought out of my mind of how pretty I
would look in that dress. It took a few weeks for me to build up the
courage to ask her if I could try on that party dress.
Sis broke into a fit of laughter at my request. I broke down into tears.
She thought I was only joking. Looking at the tears streaming down
my cheeks, Sis realized that I was serious. I remember that she made
some comment about me crying like a girl. I’m not sure she meant
it as a compliment but it actually made me feel a bit better. She gave
me a big hug and wiped away my tears. I just opened up my heart
to her. She promised to dress me in a pretty party dress and have a
special “sisters” birthday party together. I was so excited.
Two weeks later, early on a Saturday morning, Sis told me it was
time. She told me that she was going to dress me as a birthday party
girl. We would spend the rest of the day celebrating our birthdays.
She curled my hair and put pretty bows and ribbons in it, put on
makeup and dressed me in a lovely pink party dress with black
patent leather shoes. When I saw myself in the mirror I felt like I
had gone to heaven. I knew that this was not going to be a one-time
only event.
I remember being so confused growing up because there was so little
access to information. There were times when I thought I was the
only person who felt this way. At least I had my Sister to share my
innermost feelings with. She was very understanding and helpful.
When I became a teenager I decided that I could not hide my
interests (and myself) in the closet. I wanted to be out and around
and enjoying myself as a girl. Looking back at that period of time I
could not believe the risks I took and how wild I was. I was just so
thrilled to be “out”.
One of my scariest experiences was when I drove myself (at 16)
to the local shopping center (dressed of course). I had only been
driving for a short time, but I could not resist taking the opportunity
to shop as a girl (by myself) for the first time. I spent a few hours
in a favorite department store just browsing and enjoying the
experience. While I was walking back through the parking lot a man
stopped his car, rolled down his window and said to me “Girl, you
look awesome. What are you doing tonight?”
My heart started to pound so hard. I walked as fast as I could (in
79
My heart started to pound so hard. I walked as fast as I could (in
heels) to my car. I got in and locked the car and drove away. It
wasn’t until later that I realized what a wonderful compliment I
had received. I can laugh at it now. But a 16 year old TG being
approached by an older man is very, very scary.
As I got older I learned about support groups and desired to reach
out and meet other TGs. It was such a wonderful feeling to know
that I was not alone. I joined a gender group and then eventually a
local chapter of Tri-Ess. There were so many girls who were willing
to share their feelings and experiences with me. I was amazed at
how much we had in common. I also realized that those of us who
were out were definitely in the minority. As I matured I have made
it a point to help younger TGs with their first steps out of the closet.
I have also attended quite a few TG events and conferences around
the country. I love meeting and making new girlfriends.
I have had the opportunity to do quite a bit of traveling for both
work and pleasure. When I have the opportunity I usually pack
for two. The only downside of this is that it means giving up the
opportunity to pack light. A girl also must remember to leave some
room in her suitcases for any new purchases. Being away from
home helped me develop my self-confidence. I have always been
focused on passing. Walking through a mall, and only receiving
complimentary looks, made me realize that most people just mind
their own business and that I was definitely accepted as a woman.
Some of my favorite cities are Chicago, Toronto, New York, Boston,
San Francisco, and, of course, Atlanta.
I love spending an afternoon at the mall shopping. I have developed
my own tastes in fashion. I have certain labels that I particularly
adore. It is great fun to put together an outfit and then properly
accessorize it with the perfect shoes, jewelry, etc. I always try things
on to see that the outfit fits me well and gives me the look I am after.
The sales women are always helpful and attentive. Many of them
know me as a regular customer in my favorite stores. (Nordstroms,
Lord & Taylor, Bloomingdales, Saks, Marshall Fields, etc). There
are also quite a few lovely boutiques that I frequent.
I also love going out with my girlfriends to restaurants, movies
and clubs. I do enjoy dancing especially at places where there is a
large dance floor. It’s also great fun to go to the drag clubs. It seems
that most cities have one (or more) these days. I have noticed that
there is almost always a bachelorette party. A Bride-to-be and her
girlfriends out enjoying the drag show. It’s amazing how mainstream
this has become.
I was able to fulfill a special desire of mine a few summer’s ago.
I was in London for a week. I spent every moment I could out an
Andrea. One day was shopping on Oxford, Regent and Carnaby
Streets. In addition to the lovely department stores there are so
many exquisite boutiques with gorgeous fashions. I also went to
two shows on the west end and to the Wayout Club. That club is
the happening place on Saturday nights for TGs and their admirers.
The dance music and the live shows are just incredible. I also did a
day trip to Stratford-on-Avon (William Shakespeare’s birthplace). It
was a 2 hour train trip from London. I enjoyed the sightseeing and
shopping. I also took the opportunity to do a professional glamour
photo shoot. As you can imagine, I adore modeling and posing. It
was wonderful to learn some professional modeling techniques and
be the center of attention dressed in such glamorous outfits. You can
see some of them on my personal web site.
http://homepage.mac.com/andrewbe1/AndreaHP/index.htm
80
Carollyn Olson is a 50-ish, straight,
conservative, Christian cross dresser from
California. She has been the Post Mistress for
the Vanity Club for a little more than a year and
a proud member of the group since November
2006.
Ms. Olson was a late bloomer to cross dressing,
having started in her mid-30s.
“It was a complete accident,” she said. “I was
building interior shelving for my wife’s dresser
and our cat fell asleep in her nylon box. When I
was done, I noticed the cat had damaged a pair
of her nylons. I took them out of the box and for
some reason tried them on. Before I knew it, I
was completely dressed in her clothes and wig.
“The following week I watched my wife
apply her makeup and bought my first dress,
undergarments, shoes and makeup. Since she
would be out of town, I had two free days
to work on my appearance and I even ventured
out each evening. I was hooked.
“I dressed off-and-on for a number of years,
always when my wife was away. With
the advent of the internet, I could contact other
girls, many who have become dear friends, both
in California and around the world. Now, I’m
usually out at least twice a month meeting both
GG and TG friends, shopping, enjoying lunch
or dinner, and having the time of my life doing
what most ladies do.
81
61
“I try to blend in when out and dressed and not
draw attention to myself, even though I stand 6-3 in
heels. I want to honor women with my appearance
and I think I do a pretty good job. I love being a
lady.”
Carollyn co-founder the Mature Woman Group
(www.groups.yahoo.com/group/maturetgirls) in
2005, which now has over 550 members. She was
named the You Are Not Alone (URNA) websites
May 2007 Lady of the Month, and is a proud
member of the I Love It Girl group in Fremont, CA.
Ms. Olson is also an author and recently published
her first book entitled Deception: A Tale of Cross
Dressing and Espionage. You read more about the
novel elsewhere in this months publication.
82
Chryss is a fun loving
southern girl who adores
fashion, travel, the theatre,
symphonies, dining, and
dancing, and of course
shopping. She is a physician
who manages to mix work
and play into a wonderful
concoction that when taken
with stem of wine keeps life
happy and joyous.
83
Her prescription for having
a great time is to put on a
cute dress and a pair of heels
and go dancing. You can
see more of Miss Chryss at
www.asouthernbelle.com.
84
Jennifer Nelson
There’s no hiding this
girl. Though part time as
Jennifer, I’m out in the world
and loving it. Some years
ago I spent a weekend
in London as the guest
of the Beaumont Society
girls. I had a wonderful
time shopping at Harrods
and attending a society
meeting in Ipswich. Last fall
I met up with a TS friend in
Munich but mostly I’m out
in the United States and
Canada. A year ago I was
accepted as a member
of the Vanity Club and last
year attended my first TG/TS
conference, SCC ‘07.
These pictures were taken
over the last two years by
Amanda Richards, herself
a Vanity Club girl and a
professional makeup artist
and photographer.
85
After she did my makeup and
hair, I looked in the mirror and
didn’t recognize the beautiful
girl smiling back at me. She
moved when I moved and
smiled when I smiled. It was
me. My god, I was beautiful. I
started to cry.
Seeing myself through the
camera’s eye has taught me
that I am more beautiful as a
woman than I ever imagined.
What a wonderful confidence
builder this has been.
86
Tawni Katherine
Bonds first discovered her
inner self at the age of 6
when her older sister, baby
sitting Tawni, dressed her
up. Ever since then it was
an easy choice and Tawni is
completely happy with it in
spite of the short comings
of a boy who is a girl.
Over the years it was hard
to be Tawni because it was
a secret, closeted and scary
- but thanks to the internet
and a wonderful girl, Tawni
was let out of the closet
and taken out on the town.
And she has never gone
back since that either!
87
I love music, a quiet, tender,
loving evening with wine and
a passionate, gentleman or
woman who understands the
power of sensation. I also
love to get out and dance,
dance, dance the night away!
Love to you
Tawni
88
Vickie Collins likes
to call herself a Southern
T-Belle as she has always
lived in Tennessee and
tries for that “genteel
southern lady” approach
to live.
She has been active in the
T community both on line
and in real, having make 9
trips to Southern Comfort
held annually in Atlanta.
It is argruably the largest
Transgendered conference
anywhere.
89
She has also been an
active member of the
Southern Belles, and the
Vanity club, as well as
Founder and webmistress
for the online Sorority
“Vickie’s Vixens”.
“. In her “spare” time,
she maintains her
rather sizable website
as well as maintaining
a blog represents at
http://360.yahoo.com/
vickiecollins as well as
http://www.multiply.com/
vickiecollins. Go say hi,
she is always looking to
make new friends.
90
Jennifer
“Jazz”
Williams
is a 50-something
part time girl
who lives on
the beautiful
central coast of
California. Like
many girls, she
developed a love
for woman’s wear
at an early age.
91
She is very
happily married to
an understanding
woman who
appreciates her
occasional need to
kick up her high
heels. Jenn was
recently voted in
as a new member
of the Vanity
Club and loves
spending time “en
femme” with her
friends.
92
Tammi’s
?
?
?
IN
1) In Chinese astrology, 2007 was the year of the what animal?
2) In what Sudan city was Gillian Gibbons imprisoned for the blasphemous naming of a
teddy bear incident?
3) In what US city did Barack Obama announce his presidential candidacy in February
2007?
4) In May 2007 Sheikh Mohammed bin Rashid Al Maktoum announced the biggest what
in history to date?
5) In what significant UK location was the August 2007 Climate Change Camp sited?
W
Which past leader of Russia died in April 2007?
Which 2007 convicted celebrity drunkard is nicknamed Lilo?
Which country won the 2007 Eurovision Song Contest?
Which zoot-suited jazz musician died in July 2007?
What remarkable sale price did Damien Hirst’s diamond-encrusted skull achieve?
?
??
H
IC
H
1)
2)
3)
4)
5)
Torment’s
QUIZ
1)What was Paris Hilton’s offence for which she was sentenced to 45 days in
?
? prison?
H
?
AT
W
2)What month in 2007 did Tony Blair depart as UK prime minister?
3)What video game was banned in 2007 for its “...unremitting bleakness and
callousness...” ?
4)What two countries joined the European Union on 1st January 2007?
5)What city hosted the 2007 World Athletics Championships?
W
1)Who was the heroic baggage handler at the attempted Glasgow airport car-bombing?
2)Who suspended the constitution in Pakistan in November 2007?
3)Who became the 2007 Formula One World Driver’s Champion in October?
4)Who won the 2007 Nobel Peace Prize for his environmental work including the
controversial film An Inconvenient Truth?
5)Who made the highly critical documentry film Sicko, about the US healthcare system?
93
H
O
??
?
MOVIE KISSES
Can you identify which films these screen kisses feature in along with the actors
and actresses involved?
1
2
3
4
6
5
7
8
9
10
94
COMPETITION
OK gang, picture time again!!
We all know how long it takes to get
those talons looking GORG!!! so why not
show them off!!
The picture must be of you and showing
your nails in all their glory.
The competition is open to all readers, just send
your pictures to
[email protected]
or put them in the appropraite folder at
http://groups.yahoo.com/group/
lilboutique/
titling the email NAILED IT! COMPETITION,
The winner will get a full page spread in the
next issue of Narcisse
So GOOD LUCK & GET ENTERING!!!
TIME!
95
Readers
H
i Mandy,
I came across Narcisse magazines a few months ago. I have enjoyed reading
them since then. I noticed an article in the most recent Dec-Jan issue titled, “Why
Did This Have to Happen to Me?” that I can relate to very closely. I have been
doing research on transgenderism and pre-natal brain development.
The author of the article has made some excellent observations, including the
role of homosexuality in Bonobos. By the way, there is no species called Bonobo
Chimpanzees. There are Bonobos and there are Chimpanzees, two separate
species, the two closest cousins of humans in the tree of evolution. While
Chimpanzee societies are inherently patriarchial and polygamous and violent, the
Bonobos have greater equality of gender and they are peaceful, enjoying sex and
life however it comes. In Bonobo society, homosexuality helps create bonds that
seem to contribute to social harmony.
However, homosexuality is not the same as “transgenderism”. One is about
sexual orientation, ie. what gets your juices flowing. The other is about gender
identity, ie. who you are. The two concepts are different. In addition, there is
the reproductive role of a person, which is a distinctly different third way of
looking at individuals. The reproductive type of a person could be male, female,
both (hermaphrodite, typically sterile in humans), and sterile (meaning having
neither). Sexual orientation can be towards males, female, both (bisexual), other
(towards hermaphrodites, etc), or impotent (attraction towards none). Gender
identity is an interesting one because it is not a discrete scale, but rather a
continuous one, from purely masculine to purely feminine. In reality, no human
on earth fits into the two extreme ends of gender identity. Gender identity is
about how you view yourself in your subconscious mind. It is formed in the
womb and refined after some experiences in life. It is entirely non-genetic and
not inherited.
96
R
E
A
C
T
I
O
N
Transgenderism is a condition of conflict with the traditional gender role accepted by society,
not a truly biological disparity. It is human society that decreed that males and females (as per
reproductive roles) must fit into predetermined characteristics in terms of gender roles in society.
Almost every individual has a conflict with their subconscious gender role and the one forced on
them by society. In some individuals, that conflict is greater than it is in others. The suffering of
transgender people is due to the strictly dogmatic view of society, not a biologically abnormal
condition. Transgenderism appears to exist in other species that are significantly dimorphic (meaning
species in which body sizes and features of males and female differ significantly), but it does not
always show up in the form of homosexuality.
Transexuality is a condition in which a person who is transgender also has neural structures that
require them to play the reproductive role that is different from the ones they can play using their
reproductive organs. Of course, precise definitions vary, but in general, this is the case. With this
general take on transexuality, transexuals are transgender individuals who are also homosexual.
Please note that none of these labels are meant to belittle or despise anyone, only a way of explaining
through writing. I am myself non-conforming to the traditional views on sexuality and gender, and I
do not enjoy being categorized.
The author of the article in your magazine believes that transexuals are far more intelligent and
creative and the rest of the population. This is true for transgender people in general, not only
particular to transexuals. I actually have evidence to prove the overall claim, which my team has
gathered over years of research and should be published within the next year or so (once we have
put together everything we need). In addition, transgenderism has “the potential” to contribute to
human society (assuming they are allowed to) by contributing to society in ways in which the others
are unable.
While it is true that transgenderism itself is not a genetic trait and hence cannot be passed on
to the following generations, transgender people are not sterile, unlike most intersex individuals.
Transgenders and transexuals in particular become sterile due to modern medical techniques
including hormones, which was not intended biologically. We found that transgenders and
transexuals who were denied hormones have had children through regular sex with individuals of
the opposite reproductive types, while still indulging in homosexual or bisexual relationships with
others. So while transgenderism itself is a reproductive dead-end (meaning that transgenderism
cannot be passed on to the following generations), the transgender and transexual individuals are not
necessarily a dead-end in terms of passing on their genes.
97
It is also likely that transgenderism is a mechanism of providing individuals whose mothers
suffered from stressful situations to have a greater awareness and survival abilities in the world
that causes their mothers that kind of stress. Transgenderism appears to work outside the realms
of natural selection and evolution. The stresses may be temporary in nature and not permanent.
Finally, I want to stress the point that being transgender, transexual, homosexual, intersex, etc is
not a punishment. When we ask, “Why did this have to happen to me?”, we must realize that it is
a gift. We have the abilities that other people do not have. We have to stop looking at ourselves in
the negative frame. The only reason this negative frame really exists is due to the simplistic and
warped view that the society around us has accepted. They are wrong in their dogmatic views.
There is great value in diversity. The human species, and every species alive, owes their survival
to diversity. Cherish your diversity. Instead of asking “why did this have to happen to me?”, we
should ask “what else can I do that others cannot?”.
Regina
98
A Few Well-Considered Conclusions. ..
1. Save the whales. Collect the whole set.
2. A day without sunshine is like . . night.
3. On the other hand . . you have different fingers.
4. 42.7 percent of all statistics are made up on the spot.
5. 99 percent of lawyers give the rest a bad name.
6. Remember half the people you know are below average.
7. He who laughs last thinks slowest.
8. Depression is merely anger without enthusiasm.
9. Eagles may soar, but weasels don’t get sucked into jet engines.
10. The early bird may get the worm, but the second mouse gets the
cheese.
11. I drive way too fast to worry about cholesterol.
12. I intend to live forever--so far so good.
13. Borrow money from a pessimist - they don’t expect it back.
14. Quantum mechanics: The dreams stuff is made of.
15. Support bacteria - they’re the only culture some people have.
99
16. When everything’s coming your way, you’re in the wrong lane
and
going the wrong way.
17. Experience is something you don’t get until just after you need it.
18. For every action there is an equal and opposite criticism.
19. Never do card tricks for the group you play poker with.
20. No one is listening until you make a mistake.
21. You never really learn to swear until you learn to drive.
22. Two wrongs are only the beginning.
23. The problem with the gene pool is that there is no lifeguard.
24. A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory.
25. Change is inevitable . . . except from vending machines.
26. Get a new car for your spouse - it’ll be a great trade!
27. Always try to be modest and be proud of it!
28. How many of you believe in telekinesis? Raise my hand...
29. Love may be blind but marriage is a real eye-opener.
30. If at first you don’t succeed, then skydiving isn’t for you.
Jami
100
S
O
Cheap at twice the price
Just before Christmas I threw in the bin two Zara little black dresses. No
charity shop would have taken either of them. The fabric had faded and bobbled,
the zip on one had gone wonky, the stitching at the waistband had rotted, the
seams were gaping and the lining had turned from black to grey. Each dress
was less than two years old. I replaced the two with one, another black dress
by Vanessa Bruno at double the price A day or two later I was talking to a man
who has worked all his life in the fashion industry. The reason my Zara dresses
had fallen to pieces, he told me, was because I had machine-washed them. But
that was what the label said, I told him, crossly. And what does the label say on
the Vanessa Bruno? I was wearing it, so I had a look. Dry clean only. No one
is going to buy a dress for £49.99 that has to be dry cleaned, he pointed out,
patiently, but of course when you put it in the machine it will destroy it. The
plastic on the zip will pull away. The stitching can’t withstand the spin cycle.
The Vanessa Bruno dress probably could be machine-washed, but if you buy a
designer dress, you don’t want to see machine-washable on the label, it sounds
cheap.
This conversation reinforced my autumn resolution: that I would stop buying
too many clothes, and buying them without thinking who made them, in what
circumstances, or where. I had become sickened by fashion as disposable,
instant gratification: clothes that are thrown away after a few weeks, not
even because they are worn out but because a new trend has come in. And I
wanted nothing more to do with clothes made by children in some godforsaken
sweatshop. So I had made the decision to invest in fewer pieces, beautifully
made classics whose quality and design would be the mainstays of my wardrobe
for years to come.
101
S
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N
The abysmal high-street Christmas sales figures, together with predictions that we are
facing recession, has led some fashion writers to wonder if the craze for fast fashion
is coming to an end. It is time, it feels, to return to a more prudent and ethical way of
shopping: not to forsake fashion altogether - God forbid - but to shop more wisely.
I had begun my autumn resolution with a jacket from Armani Collezioni, which cost
£495. As I walked out of the shop and down Bond Street, I experienced a lightheaded
elation. I had moved on and up to a higher plane, taking me closer to the source of
style, and further away from mass-production.
Then the thread on the buttons started to unravel. How could this be? This was Armani,
and not cheap and cheerful Emporio Armani either. Not quite couture, but, I assumed,
lovingly made in a Florentine atelier by a raven-haired beauty who took a 90-minute
lunchbreak to eat a three-course meal followed by espresso and adultery, and carried
her paypacket home across the Ponte Vecchio in a Fendi Spy bag.
In all likelihood my Armani jacket had not been made in Italy, or if it had, it could well
not have been made by an actual Italian. In China’s Guangdong Province, which abuts
Hong Kong, there are more than 30,000 apparel and textile companies, employing more
than five million people in an industry worth $1bn a year. The industry creates so much
smog, that when they close down production in Guangdong for national holidays, they
get a couple of sunny days in Hong Kong. It is here that, secretly, many designer labels
are manufactured. Unlike the US, European Union legislation on labelling is weak. A
Prada handbag assembled in a factory in China, which has its handle attached in a town
outside Florence, can still label itself Made in Italy.
I ask if this means that designer labels were no better quality and no better value than
the high street or even fakes, and if the workers received the same low wages. “No,”.
“The workers in Europe complain about the shutting down of factories, but in Italy they
told me it was hard to find a person who would sit behind a sewing machine all day.
We’ve devalued the integrity and craftsmanship of making something. You can go to
China and build a state-of-the-art factory in two months, and get the right workers and
teach them to do exactly what you want. As they become more skilled their value as
workers is increasing, and they know it. There is now a shortage of skilled workers in
China.” So if you buy a designer label you will get superior quality to Primark, but you
can’t be certain you are buying hand-crafted luxury.
102
Perhaps a resolution to buy British is the answer for the ethical shopper, yet it is
harder than ever to find clothes that are UK-made. According to Martin Pearson,
campaigns coordinator at Labour Behind the Label, which raises awareness of
working conditions in the garment trade, Asda, New Look, and the Arcadia Group
which includes Topshop, all use UK factories, but British clothes production is
usually in the hands of very low-paid home-workers, and the quality is poorer
than that made abroad. British clothing manufacture is “very small in terms of the
percentage of what we buy,” Pearson says. In 1999, Marks & Spencer became the
last major high-street retailer to transfer its production overseas, despite sustained
pressure from the government to stay in Britain. M&S executives argue that it
was being priced out of the market; if the company had remained in Britain, their
clothing would be three to five times higher than the rest of the high street (average
wages in Chinese factories are $50-$100 a month).
According to Krishan Hundal, head of general merchandising and technology at
M&S, the company buys 70% to 80% of its clothes from factories in three key
“hubs”: Turkey, China, and a hub that includes India, Sri Lanka and Bangladesh.
These countries have, he says, “inherently very strong textile industries, they have
been doing it for a long time. As you go to more third world countries the number
of bad factories gets higher.” When European high-street retailers moved to the
Far East, it was assumed by many customers that the overall quality would fall, yet
both Hundal and Pearson agree that Far East production can be much higher quality
than in the UK. And Labour Behind the Label has no principled objection to textile
industries relocating to the Far East - developing nations have the right to build their
own economies based on export.
So the consumer should not be alarmed if clothing is made in the Far East, but we do
need to educate ourselves so we know which countries have a strong track record in
manufacturing. In March 2007, Labour Behind the Label undertook the second of its
annual studies into British retailers’ ethical responsibilities to the workforce of the
factories where their clothes were produced. The study revealed that brand identity
often had little to do with how seriously a company took the issues of human rights,
with the US mega-brand Gap scoring particularly well.
103
They asked about three areas: living wages, freedom of association, and monitoring
and verification. The campaign group did not produce a table, or marks out of 10,
because the issues were complex and at times subjective. While it was focusing on a
garment’s supply chain, this needed to be seen in the context of a company’s social
responsibility programme, which might include environmental initiatives. Finally,
it noted, the problems in the garment industry were: “structural, not specific to
individual companies . . . It would be misleading to say that clothes bought from a
retailer that comes off well in our survey are necessarily produced in better conditions
than those from a company that comes off badly; in fact they may even be produced
in the same factory.” It is difficult, then, for the consumer to make an informed
decision about what is ethical.
Nonetheless, Labour Behind the Label singled out for special criticism Matalan,
which did not bother to respond to their survey in either year. When Labour behind
the Label approached the company about one of its Indian suppliers, a factory with
a long record of violations of workers’ rights, Matalan responded that it “didn’t feel
it appropriate to interfere”. Other companies which the campaign believes deserve
the greatest “consumer scepticism” are a mixed bag, including dirt-cheap and midrange: BHS, Diesel, House of Fraser, MK One, Moss Bros, Mothercare, Peacocks/
Bon Marche, River Island, Rohan Designs and Ted Baker. French Connection had
made no progress since last year but three companies (Gap, New Look and Next)
are commended for acknowledging the problem. Next has “what appeared to be a
genuine plan to implement the living wage in its supply chains”. Marks & Spencer
has one of the strongest reputations on the high street for quality, and its brand is
forever associated with Britishness, yet it is not one of the top scorers in the study.
Why could M&S not take the lead and produce the clothes it sells itself (a practice
known as vertical integration), owning the factories and extending to its employees
the same rights as those available to its shop workers? He pointed to the huge
alterations in consumerism with new trends determining what products the customer
will buy. In the past 18 months the company has gone over to fast turnover, with
copies of garments inspired by the catwalks appearing in the shops in as little as six
weeks. In an ethically pure world, perhaps we would all wear the beige fleece made
from recycled plastic bottles that Marks and Spencer introduced last year, but few of
us want fashion-free clothes that don’t fit or flatter. Another option would be to make
our own, but the mass availability of cheap clothing, plus women’s entry into the
workforce, means that there are no longer the skills or the time for home dressmaking.
104
Fashion journalist Tamsin Blanchard, author of Green Is The New Black, argues
that it is increasingly possible to dress green and stylish. She points to the company
People Tree, which launched in Britain 2001. The philosophy behind People Tree
is helping the developing world, with minimum cost to the environment - and its
clothes are worn by model Lily Cole and actors Sienna Miller and Minnie Driver.
Tamsin Blanchard argues that fashion will become more ethical as current
students graduate from the London College of Fashion, which has the message of
sustainability running right through its course. One new label, Amana, set up by
Helen Wood and Erin Tabrar, who left Central St Martins in 2005, has produced an
12-piece collection manufactured by “women artisans in Ain Leuh, an enchanting
village perched high in the Middle Atlas mountains in Morocco”.
“They are really on it from the business point of view,” Blanchard says. ‘They have
set up a fairtrade co-op and the clothes are really good and don’t look weird.’ The
collection includes a sleeveless black dress made of panelled hemp and silk, but
shows the limitations of small labels by only being offered it in sizes eight to 12.
Fifty per cent of British women are size 16 and over.
“There are no easy answers,” Blanchard says. “We’ve stopped valuing clothes
because they’re so cheap, we need more respect for them.” We agreed that perhaps
the only really ethical clothes are couture, those ruinously expensive garments
affordable only by the incredibly rich, dresses handmade in traditional ateliers which
will last a lifetime, and can be passed on to the next generation. As I watched reports
of last week’s couture collections in Paris, and yearned for a Valentino dress, I
thought of my mother’s handbags still going strong 40 years after she bought them,
cared for and built to last - but only the very rich can afford real luxury, today. I’m
still not going back to Zara.
105
Six beautiful ethical labels
Ciel
Ciel is among the most visible and successful of the stylish eco-brands - they are even sold on
high-fashion websites like mywardrobe.com and net-a-porter. Designer Sarah Ratty uses organic,
sustainable materials like bamboo, linen, cotton and denim with hand-printed (but never cutesy)
patterns.
· ciel.ltd.uk
Camilla Norrback
Camilla Norrback creates wardrobe staples with fashion kudos; like many eco-designers she is
averse to the one-season-only wastage of high-street fashion. She uses fabrics produced to certified
environmental standards - from the cultivation of the crop through to the dyeing process. A
midpoint between sexy secretary and classic tailoring.
· camillanorrback.com
Kitty Cooper
Shoes are a still a troublesome issue for the ethical shopper. Those wishing to avoid leather are
often left with clumpy sandals or delicate shoes that fall apart. So Kitty Cooper uses recycled,
naturally dyed leathers with vintage fabrics. The results might even sway those who previously
drooled over only Choos or Louboutins.
· kitty-cooper.co.uk
People Tree
People Tree was the pioneer of Fairtrade fashion. It now collaborates with designers such as
Thakoon and Richard Nicholl to produce limited pieces deemed worthy of the hallowed pages of
Vogue. Its capsule collection is crisply tailored in monochrome organic, Fairtrade cotton.
· peopletree.co.uk
Noir
Peter Ingwersen, the Danish designer at Noir, only purchases his materials from sustainable
businesses in developing nations. He’s also working on a collection of organic cottons in Uganda.
But the clothes are anything but hippy-dippy - Ingwersen specialises in mannish tailoring.
· noir-illuminati2.com
Viridis Luxe
You may not think hemp has any place in the stylish wardrobe - but new label Viridis Luxe shows
it is possible to create beautiful pieces in natural colours, including figure-hugging skirts and tunic
tops. Hemp requires no pesticides or chemical fertilisers - but the designers realised that the clothes
must be instantly desirable as well as green.
· viridisluxe.com
106
QOTM
U
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S
T
I
O
N
F
H
E
107
O
N
T
H
EMILY EMILY JESSICA OLIVIA GRACE 2 ELLIE ELLIE EMILY GRACE RUBY 3 CHLOE JESSICA
SOPHIE JESSICA OLIVIA 4 JESSICA SOPHIE OLIVIA RUBY EMILY 5 SOPHIE CHLOE CHLOE
EMILY JESSICA 6 MEGAN LUCY ELLIE SOPHIE SOPHIE 7 LUCY OLIVIA GRACE CHLOE
CHLOE 8 OLIVIA CHARLOTTE LUCY LUCY LILY 9 CHARLOTTE KATIE CHARLOTTE LILY
ELLA 10 HANNAH MEGAN KATIE ELLIE AMELIA 11 KATIE GRACE ELLA ELLA LUCY 12
ELLA HANNAH MEGAN CHARLOTTE CHARLOTTE 13 GRACE AMY HANNAH KATIE ELLIE
14 MIA ELLA AMELIA MIA MIA 15 AMY =* MIA RUBY HANNAH EVIE 16 HOLLY =* LILY LILY
AMELIA HANNAH 17 LAUREN ABIGAIL AMY MEGAN MEGAN 18 EMMA EMMA MIA AMY
KATIE 19 MOLLY AMELIA ABIGAIL ISABELLA ISABELLA 20 ABIGAIL MOLLY MILLIE MILLIE
We all have one...hell some have loads!! but
ISABELLE 21 CAITLIN LAUREN MOLLY EVIE MILLIE 22 AMELIA MILLIE EMMA ABIGAIL
ABIGAIL 23 BETHANY
HOLLY
FREYA AMY
LILY LEAH
MOLLY
they are
all HOLLY
individual
and24 each
oneLEAH
carries
aDAISY 25
REBECCA CAITLIN ISABELLA DAISY FREYA 26 GEORGIA REBECCA LAUREN HOLLY EMMA 27
VERY
story,
so, plain
and
simple
this 29 ELEANOR
LEAH GEORGIA
CAITLINspecial
EMMA ERIN
28 MILLIE
BETHANY
DAISY
ERIN POPPY
ELEANOR EVIE
ISABELLE MOLLY 30 JASMINE ISABELLE ISABELLE POPPY HOLLY 31 DAISY
month,
RUBY FREYA JASMINE PHOEBE 32 ELIZABETH DAISY ERIN LEAH JASMINE 33 ALICE FREYA
REBECCA KEIRA CAITLIN 34 COURTNEY ISABELLA GEORGIA PHOEBE IMOGEN 35 SHANNON
ELIZABETH PHOEBE
CAITLIN
MADISON
36
ERIN
JASMINE
AMBER
REBECCA ELIZABETH 37
How
did
you
come
to
choose
your
name?
ISABELLA ERIN MADISON GEORGIA SOPHIA 38 ABBIE ALICE KEIRA LAUREN KEIRA 39 ANNA
EVIE POPPY MADISON SCARLETT 40 AMBER =* AMBER BETHANY AMBER LEAH 41 FREYA =*
PAIGE =* JASMINE ELIZABETH AVA 42 ISABELLE ABBIE =* ELIZABETH ELEANOR GEORGIA
Please send your replies to
43 POPPY MADISON ELEANOR BETHANY ALICE 44 PAIGE PHOEBE ALICE ISABEL SUMMER
45 PHOEBE POPPY PAIGE PAIGE ISABEL 46 SARAH AIMEE =* ISABEL SCARLETT REBECCA
47 ISABEL COURTNEY =* SCARLETT ALICE LAUREN 48 RACHEL NIAMH LIBBY IMOGEN
AMBER 49 AIMEE ANNA AIMEE SOPHIA ELEANOR 50 RUBY ISABEL NIAMH ANNA BETHANY
51 ISOBEL KEIRA ISOBEL LOLA LOLA 52 ZOE LIBBY ANNA LIBBY EVA 53 TIA =* ISOBEL ABBIE
MAISIE PAIGE 54 ROSIE =* SHANNON TIA ISOBEL BROOKE 55 NIAMH TIA MAISIE BROOKE
LILLY 56 MAISIE
SARAH
SARAH ALISHA LIBBY 57 NATASHA ZOE ALISHA TIA ISOBEL 58
titled
- QOTM
LIBBY MAISIE EVE SARAH ANNA 59 NICOLE ROSIE SHANNON SUMMER AMELIE 60 IMOGEN
ALICIA COURTNEY GRACIE MAISIE 61 EVIE ALISHA ROSIE FAITH ROSIE 62 MORGAN EVE
SOPHIA COURTNEY
MATILDA
63 ALICIA
SUMMERin
NIAMH
MADDISON 64 ALISHA
Every
answer
will RACHEL
be included
the QOTM
SOPHIA IMOGEN AVA SIENNA 65 EVE NICOLE MADELEINE EVE SARAH 66 LAURA IMOGEN
article
in 67the
next issue!
MADDISON AIMEE
NIAMH
ALEXANDRA
NATASHA ZOE MADDISON SKYE 68 LYDIA
MADELEINE NICOLE ROSIE GRACIE 69 MADELEINE SUMMER =* SIENNA MATILDA ZARA
70 LOUISE LYDIA =* FAITH SIENNA ISLA 71 HOLLIE ALEXANDRA BROOKE SHANNON TIA 72
KATE =* SCARLETT ALICIA LILLY ALISHA 73 MADISON =* MORGAN FRANCESCA MADELEINE
HARRIET 74 SOPHIA BROOKE LILLY ZOE FAITH 75 CHELSEA MADDISON RACHEL NICOLE
AIMEE 76 GEORGINA LOUISE NATASHA EVA EVE 77 JADE HARRIET HARRIET SKYE SOFIA 78
JENNIFER LAURA EVA AMELIE ZOE 79 JODIE FRANCESCA MOLLIE ABBIE MAYA 80 HARRIET
HOLLIE DEMI HARRIET MADELEINE 81 FRANCESCA MOLLIE LYDIA MAYA COURTNEY 82
ELOISE MAYA AMELIE ZARA LACEY 83 MELISSA CHELSEA ALEXANDRA RACHEL NICOLE 84
SUMMER =* FAITH AVA FRANCESCA LAYLA 85 MOLLIE =* MELISSA ZARA LYDIA LYDIA 86
KAYLEIGH ELOISE ELOISE ALICIA ABBIE 87 KATHERINE JODIE GRACIE HOLLIE MARTHA 88
LARA JENNIFER MATILDA SOFIA FRANCESCA 89 VICTORIA KAYLEIGH KIERA ALEXANDRA
JULIA 90 CHARLIE JADE SKYE LAYLA SHANNON 91 SAMANTHA KATE HOLLIE NATASHA
LEXIE 92 BROOKE KIERA LAURA MOLLIE HOLLIE 93 YASMIN CHARLIE LOLA MORGAN
108
MARIA 94 NAOMI CERYS MORGAN ISLA ALEXANDRA 95 CERYS =* GEORGINA TILLY DEMI
ROSE 96 ABBY =* LARA SOFIA LAURA ALICIA 97 AALIYAH ZARA KAYLEIGH LARA VICTORIA
What’s in a Name?
[email protected]
The
Style
Council
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C
Copyright 2000 Steve ‘A’
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OK, at last , the long awaited results.....
You voted in your......10’s.......
The premise was a simple one...
We’ve had man against machine.......
but NEVER in human History have we had........
( A TOTALLY friendly, warm, cuddly and not at all threatening.........)
GG v TG Fashion Showdown!!!
The premise is simple, each issue ONE garment is chosen, from which
each gurl has to ensemble an entire outfit, submit their selection to an
independant writer, who then creates the article, no cheating!, no conspiring.... just pure, raw......fashion savvy!
Last issue a simple smock top was chosen, and from it two UNIQUE
interpretations were created...
you came....
you voted......
you knew not which was the GG’s and which was the TG’s......
and so....by
57%.
TG!
110
OK then , here we go again! now is not the time to sit back on our laurels, the gauntlet
has once again been thrown down, bad luck to Susan last issue, but this month fresh
meat has entered the ring in the guise of Jo.....so, let the fashion juices flow....
So, here is our starting point, a beautiful pair of baby pink strappy heels, perfect
for the Spring, a gurl just cannot help but feel ultra-feminine with these. Plenty of
scope to paint your nails and strut your stuff.
Lets see what direction our gurls take us .........
111
WOW! What a start! Our first fashion Diva has gone for this absolutely decadent pink
dress with corset bustiere and beautifully full skirt. The cut would accentuate any figure and
the pink is such a delicate shade that it would be hard not to get noticed!
It’s not hard to imagine being seen on the banks of Henley or a Royal garden Party in this
frock, but its cut in such a way as to make you look stunning , but not trying too hard!
112
A
A
It’s has to be said that a shrug is a gurls best friend, covering up a multitude of sins,
but this chiffon creation, chosen by our guru, is stunning. You really dont need an excuse to wear this, it encompasses practicality, femininityand sets you off as something a
little bit ‘special’.
113
The clutch is essential nowadays, and this lil pink number screams girly, matched in
the same fabric as the shoes, this is simple a must, A gurl cant help but feel good with
this tucked under her arm.
She has then teamed
this with the most
sumptuous jewellery
and some ever-so
cheeky underwear
and I think you’ll
agree, that a gurl
wont be able to
NOT feel like the
Belle of the Ball!
I’ll leave the last words from the gurl herself...
“ I thought of putting the shoes with a classy pencil skirt and knit wear,
for a smart casual look, but its not often we get the chance to go glam, so I thought
I’d take the opportunity...
This outfit would be great for a wedding.
I think this dress is beautiful and will never go out of fashion, it’s from
annequeenbridal.com and priced at $239.00
They do however sell on ebay & prices are much more reasonable.
The pink chiffon shrug is great for hiding the bits we hate & is from
jacquisbridal.co.uk priced at from £20.45
The cute satin clutch bag is from koodos.com and on sale for £30
Thought I’d splash out a bit with the jewellery, the range is called Kyrat Desert Glow
and is from Swarovski & prices start at £80, and the body is £45 from
figleaves.com
Hope you all like it as much as i do, “
114
Our second gurl has gone for a completely different slant going for the casual, smart
look, starting off with some fashionable cropped jeans and pure and simple white bohostyle top, I think we can see simplicity is the key here,
This she has teamed with some ‘oh so
pretty’ underwear in plain white cotton
with lashings of delicate lace edging
115
Practicality again is the key here with this absolutely beautiful pale pink mac, belted, as is this years
must-have fashion point tying in the pink theme in
the form of outerwear rather than at every point of
the outfit.
Saying that, the bag she has teamed up with
has a bit of everything , stylish, practical in
its size and....well....PINK!
And with some delicate coral jewellery to
finish off, pretty in pink takes on an everyday
feel.
116
So there we have it, our two fashion divas battling it out for the winners place
but who to choose? how to choose? This is where you come in, you must read
through this article and look at the pictures, imagine them all together and email me back and in the next issue we will have an interview with the winner
along with pictures and a profile so you can get into the mind of the winner and
know how wonderful the brain of the winner is.
Keep safe and well dear ladies and remember write into me on
[email protected]
and vote either A or B for your winner!
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VOTE #1 - Adara
VOTE #2 - Christina
119
VOTE #3 - Daniel
VOTE #4 - Elsa
120
VOTE #5 - Gilly
VOTE #6 - Jenny-anne
121
VOTE #7 - Joan
VOTE #8 - Joy
VOTE #9 - Rachel
122
VOTE #10 - Krystal
VOTE # 11 Rachel
123
VOTE #12 - Marie-louise
VOTE #13 - Mary
124
VOTE #14 - Miki
VOTE #15 - Minki
125
VOTE #16 - Rachael
VOTE #17 - Sara
VOTE #18 - Paula
126
One day, when a seamstress was sewing while sitting close to a river, her thimble fell
into the river. When she cried out, the Lord appeared and asked, ‘My dear child, why
are you crying?’ The seamstress replied that her thimble had fallen into the water and
that she needed it to help her husband in making a living for their family. The Lord
dipped His hand into the water and pulled up a golden thimble set with sapphires.
‘Is this your thimble?’ the Lord asked.The seamstress replied, ‘No.’
The Lord again dipped into the river. He held out a golden thimble studded with rubies.
‘Is this your thimble?’ the Lord asked. Again, the seamstress replied, ‘No.’
The Lord reached down again and came up with a leather thimble.
‘Is this your thimble ?’ the Lord asked. The seamstress replied, ‘Yes.’ The Lord was
pleased with the woman’s honesty and gave her all three thimbles to keep, and the
seamstress went home happy.
Some years later, the seamstress was walking with her husband along the riverbank,
and her husband fell into the river and disappeared under the water. When she cried
out, the Lord again appeared and asked her, ‘Why are you crying?’ ‘Oh Lord, my
husband has fallen into the river!’
127
The Lord went down into the water and came up with George Clooney. ‘Is this your
husband?’ the Lord asked.
‘Yes,’ cried the seamstress. The Lord was furious. ‘You lied! That is an untruth!’ The
seamstress replied, ‘Oh, forgive me, my Lord. It is a misunderstanding. You see, if I
had said ‘no’ to George Clooney, you would have come up with Brad Pitt.
Then if I said ‘no’ to him, you would have come up with my husband. Had I then
said ‘yes,’ you would have given me all three. Lord, I’m not in the best of health and
would not be able to take care of all three husbands, so THAT’S why I said ‘yes’ to
George Clooney.
And so the Lord let her keep him.
The moral of this story is: Whenever a woman lies, it’s for a good and honorable
reason, and in the best interest of others. That’s our story, and we’re sticking to it.
Signed,
All Us Women
128
A Taste of
ABC
DEF
GHI
JKL
G
G
ii
nn
gg
ee
rr
129
ABC
DEF
GHI
JKL
What exactly is crossdressing? Sure the easy answer is someone wearing
the clothes of the other sex. Let’s delve a little deeper into this term, and
ask to what end does one cross-dress? One really needs to ask, does your
gender determine the clothes you wear or do the clothes you wear determine
your gender?
130
I was sitting around thinking about all the things I have to do to modify
my body to fit into the prototypical woman’s clothes. I wear a corset to
give me the hour glass figure and female waistline, I wear breast forms
to give me something to fill my bra and I wear pads to fill out my hips
and butt. I tuck a certain nameless extremity so I show no unsightly
bulges. So basically tuck here and add there. This is all in an effort to fit
in the clothes so they look good on me.
How is what I do any different from women forcing their bodies to fit
the clothes? Women get breast implants and tummy tucks and butt lifts.
Sounds kind of familiar doesn’t it? In theory aren’t they crossdressing
themselves? Modifying their bodies to fit into clothes that otherwise
would not fit them?
Then your argument would be “Well it’s natural for a woman to wear
women’s clothes.” Really?!? I see women all the time that could care
less what they look like or what they wear. They wear unisex jeans,
shirts, and flip flops. They make no attempt to wear makeup or do
anything with their hair. Yet you think that it is normal for them to have
the right to wear a dress and heels? Maybe the right should be given
to the individuals that drive themselves to look good in the clothes,
whether they are male or female. Maybe we should reach the decision
that the clothes determine the gender?
ABC
DEF
GHI
JKL
I for one do not feel like I am “cross-dressing” I wear what feels natural
on me and I strive to look good in what I wear. I feel a certain kinship
with genetic women that put equal effort into their own appearance and
strive for the ultra feminine look. On the other hand I feel no connection
with soccer mom Jane Doe that wears flannel pajamas and doesn’t even
own a pair of heels.
131
ABC
DEF
GHI
JKL
So I will say loud and proud I am not a crossdresser, I am an artist. Makeup
and fashion are my mediums, and my body is the canvas. Don’t deny
me my wish to express myself as a woman based off of archaic beliefs.
Judge me the same as you would judge a woman getting plastic surgery to
enhance her looks. Judge me more deserving to wear women’s clothes than
said soccer mom. If I put the effort into it, and I can excel at it, then allow
me the right to convey my artistic expression of who I am. All I ask is that
you judge me fairly…
One of those days?
132
Mr
WoMen?
133
Mr. Men is a series of 52 (only 43 published in English) children’s
books by Roger Hargreaves started in 1971. Little Miss was an accompanying
series of 39 (only 30 published in English) books by the same author with
female characters that started in 1981. After Hargreaves’ death in 1988, his son,
Adam Hargreaves, began writing and illustrating new stories involving the Mr.
Men and Little Miss characters, including the creation of ten new characters,
four of which were inspired by work Roger Hargreaves had produced before
his death.
So.....now its your turn!!!!
This is a competition to find the funniest, cutest,
most ingenious Mr. Men/Little Miss character
BASED ON YOU!!!
Thats right! your new character must resemble you,
or a characteristic OF you.
Simply sketch your design and send it to me at:
[email protected]
If you cant manage a sketch then email me a description and I’ll see
what I can do!
If you cant (or are too young to remember(bitch!) the Mr Men , then
heres 2 episodes to give you an idea!
http://uk.youtube.com/watch?v=nEzTTfhLcwA
http://uk.youtube.com/watch?v=lpIVRmPb3m4&feature=related
134
In The
PAPERS
Gay and Transgender prison to close
30-Dec-2005
Ross von Metzke
pinknews.co.uk
One of the America’s few jail facilities specifically for gay or transgender prisoners
is closing on Rikers Island, prompting complaints from gay rights activists who say
it is still a much-needed safe haven.
The unit, which opened on the city’s island prison complex in the late 1970s in reply
to complaints of abusive treatment of homosexuals in the prison system, stopped
accepting new inmates last month at the direction of Department of Correction
Commissioner Martin Horn.
135
The facility could be shut entirely within the next few weeks. The prison has
accommodation for up to 146 prisoners, but was holding 126 when it began emptying on
November 28th of this year. As of Thursday, 56 prisoners remained.
Plans call for the specialized unit to be replaced with a new protective custody system that
would be available to prisoners who feel threatened, regardless of their sexual orientation.
The change has alarmed members of some civil liberties and gay rights groups, who note
that the new protective housing would likely be more restrictive than the old unit.
Prisoners whose safety was at risk would be locked in their cells for 23 hours a day, rather
than be allowed to mingle with other inmates. Prisoners could avoid the extra restrictions
by staying in the jail’s general population, but there, they might be subject to harassment
or worse, activists said.
“We’re not talking about people calling you names,” said D. Horowitz, a legal fellow at
the Sylvia Rivera Law Project. “People should not be punished for wanting to be safe.”
Eighteen groups sent a letter to Horn on Thursday asking him to reconsider, including the
Lambda Legal Defense and Education Fund, the Legal Aid Society, the New York Civil
Liberties Union and the National Gay and Lesbian Task Force.
Correction Department spokesman Tom Antenen said the unit, which held only a fraction
of the gay inmates at Rikers, was being done away with as part of a broader restructuring
of the jail’s prisoner classification system.
“Jail administrators have no intention of ignoring Rikers inmates who say they feel
threatened because of their sexuality,” Mr Antenen said.
“If that is the case, and they need to be protected from the general population, then we will
endeavour to provide the best possible security,” he said. That could include a “23-hour
lockdown,” or it might entail moving them to a different city facility.
Specialized housing units for gay prisoners are rare in the U.S., although jails in a few
other places do have them. The Federal Bureau of Prisons does not maintain such units
anywhere in the country, nor do state prisons in New York.
© 2005 GayWired; All Rights Reserved
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
136
Catherine Zeta Jones in transgender role
01-Feb-2006
Marc Shoffman
pinknews.co.uk
Catherine Zeta Jones is rumoured to be the next high profile star to become trans
gendered following the critically acclaimed film, Transamerica.
Desperate Housewives star Felicity Huffman, who won a Golden Globe for
Transamerica, has shown that being a woman playing a man who self defines as a
woman can get you noticed.
According to the New York Post, Catherine Zeta Jones is being lined up to play a 1960s
sex-change cabaret artist in an upcoming movie.
The biopic of real-life aristocratic transsexual April Ashley will look at how her
marriage to Baron Rowallan was annulled in a landmark court case.
Hubby Michael Douglas, meanwhile, once joked that he thought Catherine was a “man
in drag” when they first met because they didn’t kiss until they’d been dating for nine
months
137
ACROSS
GOLDEN
POND
I’ve been wondering how to write this for a month. I’ve started half a dozen times in
half a dozen ways. I’m knee deep in crumpled up paper, or the cyber equivalent of it
anyway. The one thing I was sure of was that I did not want to write a recap of the2007
Lake Erie Gala the way most of these things are written. You know: Wednesday we
did this and Wednesday evening we did that and on and on. I don’t like reading those
and I think a lot of folks would agree. Not that the writers are deficient in any way
or that what they are saying is not important or interesting. It’s just … well, let’s just
leave it that there must be another way. And looking for that way is what got me here
wallowing in all that crumpled up paper. Then it hit me. Why not talk about what the
Gala IS and not what we did? Hmmmm Maybe that’s the way. OK, Here goes.
The Lake Erie Gala is a week long celebration of the Transgender life. (Maybe I better
say a little more than that, huh?) The ninth annual Gala was held at the Avalon Hotel
in downtown Erie PA this year on the traditional week before Thanksgiving. Generally,
ladies start arriving anywhere from Sunday night to Wednesday morning. Some can only
be there for the Saturday night formal dinner and that’s OK too. So people are arriving,
and some leaving early, all week. The organizers can accommodate most schedules. The
important thing is to be there and to participate. Obviously there is a full schedule of
events to attend but everything is optional and there’s lots of free time to be had if you
want that. But who wants that when there are all these things to do dressed in your finest
feminine attire? There’s always a party going on somewhere and photo flashes going
off like strobe lights at a disco. There are old friends to meet and catch up with and new
friends to be made.
138
So far it sounds like a lot of the TG conventions you read about, doesn’t it? What
sets Erie apart from the crowd? Well for one thing, there are no seminars. “You
won’t be asked to listen to someone talk about Cross-Dressing 101 or hormone
therapy or where to go for counseling or surgery. All that information is available,
but you don’t have to sit in a lecture hall and listen to a canned presentation of it.
I have to say here that not all presentations are “canned” and many are good and
interesting. (I feel like one of those radio guys who talk real low and fast telling
you all about the one car on the dealer’s lot that actually is on sale) but the key here
is that they are still presentations. And as such, there will be a lot of information
presented that you might not need or be interested in. But in a seminar you have
to sit and listen to it all anyway. And most importantly, at the Lake Erie Gala, you
won’t have to pay for those speakers to come and talk at you. The Gala is the least
expensive of all the TG conventions held anywhere in the country. And for a week
long event, it’s probably the least expensive in the world. Not that it’s a cheapie or
that things are done shoddily, rather, all the money is spent on doing things well for
the attendees. There are free bus tours to wineries, shopping, a haunted hotel, and the
famous Romolo’s chocolates. (More about that later)
Among the activities that were available to Gala attendees were visits to Veronica’s
Day Spa, Makeovers by Jamie Austin, Nails and nail care by Jackie, shopping at
Glamour Boutique, A bus trip to Prime Outlets shopping center, a tour of the Erie
area and lunch at the famous Union Station. Visits to the GE Locomotive museum
and Marx Toy museum. There was a play one evening at a local theater. It was
a special presentation just for us. And of course opportunities to shop locally at
several TG friendly stores. The Avenue, Classic Consignments, Fashion Bug, Wigs
by Carrie (this girl spent a lot of money there and had a great time doing it) and
others.
Ladies had the opportunity to participate in the 1st annual LEG miniature Golf
tournament. Of course there were some standard things that have become tradition
at the Gala. There was the trip to Trance Dance Club for the drag show and a catered
dinner and the mandatory stop at Romolo’s Chocolatier. This is a place you must
not miss. Fourth generation chocolatiers who make the most amazing confections.
If you like Chocolate, and what girl doesn’t?, this place is like going to heaven.
139
There were many meals provided by the Gala as part of the registration price and
that’s always welcome, including , of course, the formal dinner on Saturday night
which featured a performance by the all girl band, The Rebel Girls. Friday night ladies
were treated to dinner and a fashion show.
From all this, it’s obvious that there is lots to do, but here’s the thing. You get out.
Many of the activities involve going out of the hotel and into the general public.
Scary? Sure. If you’ve never gone into the public eye before. It’s very scary.
For about ten minutes. Then it’s more fun than you ever imagined. But a word of
warning. Once you’ve been out in public and discovered that it’s perfectly alright,
hiding indoors won’t ever do it for you again.
140
Last year this girl dove right in. I was five hours from home and no one knew me
other than the ladies with whom I traveled to the Gala. If someone clocked me, who
cared? I didn’t. It was more liberating than I can express. But, let’s say, it’s your
first time there and you never did anything like this before, how do you drum up
the courage to get out? No problem. The Gala has a volunteer staff of “moms” to
help and encourage you. Even if you’ve been to other TG conventions, this one is
different like that. We don’t’ hide inside the hotel. Think about it. If you go half way
across the country to attend a convention and you’ve never been out of the closet
before, but you stay inside the four walls of the hotel, isn’t that just a bigger closet?
What’s the point? Why spend all that time and money to hide? Erie is a very TG
friendly city so that helps, but I’ve since found out that anywhere you go or live, most
folks just don’t care, or don’t even notice. This convention will help you live that and
really understand it.
After all that, I probably ought to stop sounding like an infomercial on the Lake Erie
Gala and say a few things about what I did and experienced this year. So what did
I do? Pretty much everything. Just like last year. I didn’t make it to the Dance Club
this year. I wanted to but we had other plans for that evening. We were going to go to
dinner at a very nice restaurant we found last year called The Wharf. But we found
out that it had closed since 2006 and we wound up going to Plymouth for dinner.
Plymouth is a Sports Bar! Can you imagine six TGs walking into a sports bar? We
had no problem at all. A couple looks but mostly, folks didn’t pay any attention to us
at all. I bought a new wig from Carrie. Planned on that one. Still not sure how I feel
about being blond but what the heck. We played indoor mini golf and even though I
shot a score low enough to take third in the tournament, I wasn’t placed because the
guy at the golf dome stamped over my score card to validate it and they couldn’t read
my scores. Oh well. Josephine took third and ended up giving me the prize. Thanks
Jo. I spent nearly $100 on chocolates but most of that was gifts so don’t’ worry. Even
thought I carried about 9 million calories home with me, I didn’t eat all of them.
Wanted to, but didn’t.
I got to meet two of my Vanity Club sisters, Wendy Seymone and Samantha Jones.
What lovely ladies! I thoroughly enjoyed their company. I know we’ll continue to be
friends for a long long time. And always there was the hotel bar. Every night there
were girls there partying. We shared the hotel with some tour busses of Canadian
ladies who came south to shop. What a great group of ladies. They were all very open
and accepting and spent a lot of time with us. I got to be friends with one in particular
when she noticed that my ring looked remarkably similar to her engagement ring. The
wedding date was New Year’s eve and I hope your day was perfect for you Traci.
141
It’s so hard to recount all the laughs and all the experiences of the week. These few
lines do it no justice. You simply have to experience it first hand. The on thing that
stood out to me this year was how unsettled and out of place I felt for about two weeks
after returning home and having to assume male mode full time again. It made me
realize how comfortable and natural it is to be feminine and how much I miss it when
it’s not there. I now have to be satisfied with single evenings and short days until next
November. Well, I just might have to go to the Spring Fling in Canada this year. But
one thing for sure. Come November 18, 2008, this girl will be in Erie PA, without fail.
I hope to see you all there.
Oh and in case you missed it, our dear publisher/editor and pin up girl Mandy was
elected to the elite Vanity Club this fall. Congratulations Mandy! Another well deserved
honor for you.
Lisa
Proud member of the Vanity Club (#480)
And big sister to our own Mandy Taylor VC# 485
142
Hororscope
Libra (September 23 - October 22)
If you can maintain realism in your communications now, then you won’t
lose anyone along the way. Your creative and tasteful way of sharing is often
effective, yet it can sometimes down your message. Being nice today is less
important than telling it like it is. But unfold your ideas methodically so others
will support you in your current endeavors.
Aries (March 21 - April 19)
Your thoughts may jump all over the map today, but paradoxically,
they won’t likely run out of control. In fact, you are quite able to take
complex concepts and quickly turn them into concrete ideas. Before you
move on to the next topic, though, make sure you get the current one
down on paper. You surely don’t want your best ideas to disappear into
the past.
143
Taurus (April 20 - May 20)
You have an excellent sense of what’s going on, but you might be hesitant
to trust your judgment. This may stem from your belief that you need better
information to truly know what to say. Nevertheless, your current data is
sound, even if your sources are sometimes unreliable. For now, at least, it
seems as if everyone’s telling you the truth.
Scorpio (October 23 - November 21)
Your increased mental prowess comes from carefully thinking through all the
details surrounding the most important issues of the day. Although you are
attracted to the simplest solution now, it may not be the best one. The situation
is likely quite complex, so don’t be afraid of revealing your inner process.
Speak your mind carefully and stick with the facts, as you know them.
Gemini (May 21 - June 20)
You are very receptive to messages from your subconscious mind now so
make use of the guidance you can receive from within. One way to do this
is to imagine that your ringing telephone is you calling yourself from the
future. Because your key planet Mercury is so grounded today, you can
actually have a discussion with a facet of yourself that can tell you what to
do. Ask intelligent questions and listen up. This is an opportunity you won’t
want to miss.
Sagittarius (November 22 - December 21)
Relationships are emphasized today, but you could easily waste too much
time in endless discussion unless you pay attention and gently control the
flow of conversation. Your verbal sparring partner may be much wordier than
you are, so don’t be afraid to keep the talk on track. But be careful not to
push any one specific issue or your overall strategy might backfire.
144
Cancer (June 21 - July 22)
You may be acting secretive now because you want to save someone from the
truth, but holding back what you know may not ultimately be helpful. Even
if our motives are pure, your words can bring an important perspective to the
table. Speaking your piece is crucial and others will appreciate what you are
saying, even if they don’t agree with you.
Capricorn (December 22 - January 19)
You may be comfortable today sharing what you have been holding back.
For now, it might fall on you to keep things on the straight and narrow as you
discuss plans about a project or upcoming; keeping information to yourself is
inappropriate. Make sure that all details are discussed. Whether you realize it or
not, others are depending on you.
Leo (July 23 - August 22)
Someone with a powerful has recently entered your life and now the message
becomes even clearer. Although you are open to what is being said, you have
sense enough to accept the teaching or to reject it if it doesn’t jive with your
outlook. Don’t be afraid to trust your instincts, for it’s possible that you might
already know what you need.
145
Aquarius (January 20 - February 18)
You may get excited about something new that you think is going to be fun.
You would like everyone to be as enthusiastic as you are, but it’s crucial to
realize that it’s not appropriate to push your values onto others. Accepting
that they may not get as jazzed about your interests can give you the
latitude to share without making anyone feel uncomfortable.
Virgo (August 23 - September 22)
You are more focused today as your key planet Mercury is supported by
sober Saturn, now entrenched in your sign. You can do important mental
work by integrating new data with what you already know. This is a
time for deep thinking, so don’t worry if you cannot find the right words
to describe all that you are experiencing. Take it step by step and others
will get the picture.
Pisces (February 19 - March 20)
You want others to accept what you say for you know the value of your
perspective. You may think that you have already used up too much
goodwill and can be tempted to say nothing at all. Don’t indulge yourself
in bouts of uncertainty; your point of view is too important to keep to
yourself. Stay with the facts and you will be accepted for what you know.
146
“
As Voted...”
The most wonderful thing about the changing seasons is the excuse to change
our wardrobes (as if we need one), so what season won this issues vote?
SPRING
35%
SUMMER
26%
AUTUMN
19%
WINTER
19%
147
So Spring it is huh!? OK, well the thought behind this lil ensemble are
pretty simple, I wanted to give it a feeling of still being aware of Winter
with the cosy jumper, whilst showing the emerging promise of warmer
weather with the bare legs peeping through, hope it works for you, I
had fun !!
148
149
150
151
152
Right...
TIME TO VOTE!!
Ok, Hope you liked them! Now that the weather is
warming up skirt lengths will soon be rising, but
what is your fav ‘length’ of skirt? and more to the
point, what length skirt would you like to see ME
in next issue?
Send your votes for either
1. Floor length ( ballgown etc )
2. Ankle length ( gypsy etc )
3. Knee length ( pencil etc )
4. Mini ( er....mini hehe )
or
5. Micro ( I’d need surgery! )
to [email protected] marking
your mail SKIRTS
or
you can vote online at
http://groups.yahoo.com/group/lilboutique/
153
Here at Narcisse we all know too well how bad life can
get for you and can understand how lonely or scared
you may get. So here, just for you, we have compiled a
list of help lines and websites from around the world to
help you out if you get in any form of strife. If you are
having problems seeking help from any of the sites or
you can’t find anything for your country please feel free
to e-mail any of the following e-mail addresses and we
will try our hardest to help any question or queries you
may have:
[email protected]
[email protected]
154
(Outside the UK add +44)
08457 90 90 90 (24hrs)
Confidential support for suicide, suicidal thoughts, feelings of despair or distress. The Samaritans
http://www.samaritans.org.uk/
email: [email protected]
Beaumont Society - The 24 Hour Info Line : 01582 412220
An established transgendered support group in the UK, with a support network for the Transgender (TG),
Transvestite (TV), Transsexual (TS) and Cross Dressing (CD), community in the UK.
The Beaumont Society
27 Old Gloucester Street
London
WC1N 3XX
http:// www.beaumontsociety.org.uk
Beaumont Trust - 07000 - 287878 (07000 BTRUST)
Is run by a team of volunteers on Tuesdays & Thursdays between 1900 and 2300 hours (UK time).
http://members.aol.com/bmonttrust/
Gender Trust - 07000 790347
http://www.gendertrust.org.uk/
Rubicon Society - 020 8252 2623
Transexual Support Group
P.O. Box 637
Dagenham
Essex RM10 7GG.
Mermaids is for children and
teenagers under 19 years of age, who have gender identity issues.
Mermaids Helpline - 07020 935066 - 12 noon until 9pm only, UK Time
http://www.mermaids.freeuk.com/
Gayline Wales
Helpline for LGBT covering north wales operating from bangor.
Monday nights from 7.00 - 10.00
Tel. 01248 363431
http://www.gayline.co.uk
We also work with two other groups to provide a Saturday afternoon drop-in from 1.30 - 4.00 pm for 16
- 25 on the second saturday in the month and all ages on the last saturday in the month at the abbey road
centre, abbey road, Bangor North Wales.
PARTNER SUPPORT
The support is out there!
So just make that Call!!!
155
WOBS (Women of the Beaumont Society)
These numbers are SPECIFICALLY for wives, partners or family members of someone who Cross
Dresses.
The Wobs Website
[email protected]
http://www.gender.org.uk/WOBSMatters
There are four numbers which can be called:
DIANA -- 01223 441246,
Jenny
-- 01684 578281
Depend
A support group for the partners, and ex partners, the parents and the children, the family
members and the friends ... the 'significant others' of transsexual people in the UK.
http://www.depend.org.uk/support.html
THE T-ZONE CRISIS DIRECTORY
Apnar Ghar - Asian Women's Domestic Violence project - 020 7474 1574
24 hour helpline offering advice, counselling and practical help for women suffering from domestic
violence and other related issues.
British Association of Counselling - 0870 443 5252
web site: www.counselling.co.uk
Can give details of counsellors and organisations in your area.
1 Regent Place
Rugby
Warwickshire
CV21 2PJ
Broken Rainbow - 07812 644 914
A 24 hour referral service for lesbians, gay men, bisexuals and transgender people experiencing all
forms of domestic violence. This includes counselling services and help with housing problems.
Careline - 020 8514 1177 10am - 4pm and 7 - 10pm Monday - Friday
Confidential telephone counselling for children, young people and adults for any problem.
Childline - 0800 1111
web site: www.childline.org.uk
Crimestoppers - 0800 555 111
web site: www.crimestoppers-uk.org
Drug Rape Trust - 01702 31 76 95 (service currently suspended)
web site: www.drugrapetrust.org (not currently operational)
Provides help, advice and support if you think you may have been drugged and may have been
attacked.
156
Juniper Lodge - Sexual Assault Response Centre based in Leicester.
Helpline - 0116 2733330 (Monday 6.30-9.30pm)
Offers a free and confidential service for adults who have experienced rape or sexual assault.
Provides face to face and telephone support, medical support and advice.
Mankind - a registered charity that deal specifically with the issues for men that have been
raped or are suffering from the continuing trauma of sexual abuse. It presently covers East and
West Sussex and provides open ended person centred couselling for survivors.
Helpline:: 01273 510447 (9.30am - 5.30pm Mon-Fri)
Po Box 124
Newhaven
BN9 9TQ
MPower
Helpline - 0808 8084321 (Thursdays 8-10pm)
Helpline for male victims of rape and sexual abuse.
National Association for People Abused in Childhood
Helpline - 0800 085 3330 (Mon - Fri 12 noon - 8pm, Sat 9am - 12 noon )
A free telephone help/information line for adult survivors of child abuse (including sexual
abuse).
Newham Asian Women's Project
Advice Line - 020 8552 5524 (Monday - Friday 9.30am-9.30pm)
General enquiries - 020 8472 0528 (Monday - Friday 9.30am-9.30pm)
Offers counselling, advice and assistance with accommodation for women suffering from
domestic violence and othe related issues.
Rape Crisis Rape Crisis UK & Ireland
web site: www.rapecrisis.org.uk
Provides details of your local Rape Crisis Centre and offers practical advice and counselling for
victims of rape and sexual assault.
Rape and Sexual Abuse Support Centre - 020 8683 3300
web site: www.rasasc.org.uk
email: [email protected]
For women and girls, but will refer male victims on.
PO Box 383
Croydon
Surrey CR9 2AW
weekdays: 12.00pm - 2.30pm & 7.00 - 5.00pm
weekends: 2.30pm - 5.00pm
Refuge - 0870 599 5443 - 24 Hour National Crisis Line
email: [email protected]
Support and practical help, 24 hours a day, 7 days a week, to women experiencing domestic
violence.
SARA Clinic - 020 7886 1940 - (Jeffers Wing, St. Mary's Hospital)
STD clinic that provides long-term counselling etc. For youths and adults.
Shelterline - 0808 800 4444
24 hour confidential helpline to assist with housing problems whatever the reason for becoming
homeless.
157
SHOC Project (Sexual Health On Call)
A confidential free and non-judgemental outreach service for female sex workers in Enfield,
Haringey and Barnet offering a number of services and advice on a variety of issues. For
information, clinic times, appointments, and outreach timetable please call the following
numbers - stating you are a SHOC client:
St Ann's Sexual Health Clinic,
St Ann's Hospital, Tottenham
020 8442 6536
Clare Simpson Clinic,
Barnet General Hospital, Barnet
020 8216 4110
Michelle
07976 566537 (mobile)
Jennifer
07976 707553 (mobile)
Southall Black Sisters - 0208 571 9595 10am - 12.30pm & 1.30 - 4pm
Mon, Tues, Thurs, Fri
Information and advice for black and Asian women on domestic violence and related issues.
Specialist Sex Workers Projects Open Doors Working Womens Outreach 07050 328128 or 07976 566537
Services:
(mobiles)
Praed Street Project, Paddington: Tues,
Weds, & Thurs 2-5pm (drop in) or
telephone for clinic or 1-1 appointments
Working Womens Project, Streatham:
Every Tuesday 6-11pm
020 7886 1549
020 8 243 2200 or
07930 324111 (mobile)
Streetwise Youth (SW5)
SW5 is the new operating name of Streetwise Youth, an agency working with male and
transgender sex workers. We have a cafe service at our centre in earls Court open Monday
5-7pm, Weds and Fri 1-3pm. There is no need for an appointment at these times, otherwise
staff will arrange to meet clients for advice, support and assistance with a wide range of issues
including housing, safer sex and benefits.
Address: 11 Eardley Crescent, London SW5 9JS. Nearest tube is Earls Court (Warwick Rd exit).
Tel: 020 7370 0406
Fax: 020 7244 0037
E-Mail: [email protected]
Website: www.swy.info
Survivors Swindon - Supporting Adult Male Survivors of Sexual Abuse
Telephone Helpline:0845 430 9371 ADMIN No. 0870 950 3567 (Wednesday 7.00pm ~ 9.00pm)
Website: www.survivorsswindon
Survivors UK - 020 7317 6677 (Helpline open Tuesday between 7-10pm)
web site: www.survivorsuk.org
Supports and provides resources for men who have experienced any form of sexual violence
Terence Higgins Trust Direct Helpline - 0845 1221200 (Mon - Fri 10am -10pm Sat & Sun 12
noon -6pm).
For information on sexually transmitted diseases.
web site: www.tht.org.uk
email: [email protected]
158
Women’s Aid - 08457 023468
24 Hour Domestic Violence Helpline for women and children experiencing physical, sexual or
emotional abuse at home.
Women’s Counselling (formerly the Hounslow Rape and Crisis Support Group ) - 020
8572 0100 (Monday 6.30pm - 9.00pm)
web site: Hounslow Rape and Crisis Support Group
email: [email protected]
address: PO Box 315, Hounslow, TW3 1QF
A confidential and non-judgemental support service specifically for women of all ages who are
suffering/have suffered from any form of physical, sexual, emotional or psychological abuse/
violence. The service includes a telephone helpline, counselling, information, support and
resources.
Befrineders
An on-line based organisation that can put you in touch with local help organisations almost anywhere
in the world.
www.befrienders.org
The American Suicide Hotline
1-800-784-2433
S.A.F.E (SELF ABUSE FINALLY ENDS)
www.selfinjury.com
An American based self harm hot line and website with numerous options for help for American
residents.
U.S.A SUICIDE AND RAPE HOT LINE
1-800-333-4444
159
QUIZ
ANSWERS
Quiz answers from Dec/Jan issue
?
?
?
IN
1.
2.
3.
4.
5.
W
1913
Moses
What Hath God Wrought?
Emerald
Pennsylvania
1. David Gest
2. Massachusetts
3. Denmark
4. Skoda
5. Iran
??
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IC
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1. The Plimsoll Line
?
? 2. Charlie
3. 4077
4. Brisbane
5. Tamagotchi
1.
2.
3.
4.
5.
Guy Gibson
Helmut Kohl
Scott Joplin
St. George
Farouk
W
H
O
??
?
Picture Quiz
1.
2.
3.
4.
5.
The Polar Express
Christmas with the Kranks
Bad Santa
Its a Wonderful Life
The Nightmare before Christmas
6. White Christmas
7. Elf
8. Scrooge
9. National Lampoon’s Christmas Vacation
10. Miracle on 34th Streets
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Conversion Tables
161
162
We all love to shop, but as we all know , from personal experience, some are…
er…friendlier than others. Here’s a few of the better ones, as recommended by
you.
This is my own personal recommendation. The girls the Notting Hill branch were superb.
They couldn’t be friendlier, more welcoming, and professional too. They have a fantastic
range of wigs of all lengths , colours and prices , and I can not recommend this branch of
stores enough
Open till 6, by appointment – latest 5 o’clock
http://www.trendco.co.uk/default.aspx
1) The Casket store: http://www.casketfurniture.com/caskets_coffins.php
A unique store offering casket shaped furniture for the gothic’s
2) The Baroness: Ok rubber and latex fetish store I have seen better and more but the
craftsman-ship looks good and styles are their own
http://www.baroness.com/RubberClothes.htm
3) JT’s Stockroom offers a wide range of fetish things from bondage beds to fetish toys, not a
gigantic selection but enough to satisfy the novice and beginner.
http://www.stockroom.com/search/search.aspx?i=20&search=furniture
4) Lydia’s offers a ok selection of transgender and cross-dressing items again not a wide
selection but a ok one for the beginner and part time.
http://lydiastv.com/osb/showitem.cfm/Category/12
5)Corset Connection: Offers a very wide selection for all types of corsets everything from
waist training to under-bust and to men to woman training corsets, and for those who never
have laced their own corsets they offer a online training film for corset lacing A+.
http://www.corsetconnection.com/Images/Vintage%20Glam/v1117.jpg
6) Xtrax, I love this store humungus selection for the naughty little Goth Girls and boys a
wide wide selection for everything A+.
http://www.x-tra-x.de/english/bilder/heads-os/angebot-1.jpg
7) Extreme Restraint is a awesome store I cant wait to order from them they have everything
and anything from sex machines to the simplest anal plug. http://www.extremerestraints.com/
Merchant2/graphics/00000001/ec715%20lg.jpg
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“ Hi Mandy, I have a review for you, Wigsrus ltd in Southport. Recently been there
for a new style they are great. Hugs Julie Hi Ladies, After asking around for some
advice on wigs I plucked up the courage to go and try a new style and I decided to
have it fitted. I took the advise of an Angel and looked up www.wigsrusltd.com at
Southport. This meant going out en femme for the first time and having a stranger
see me as Julie. I made an appointment with Jennie and ventured out into the world
as Julie. Jennie is a fantastic understanding lady; she puts you at ease straight away.
All appointments are one to one and you can try as many styles on as you like. Jennie
will give you advise on styles and colour. After you have chosen your new hair,
Jennie will do the final styling and trim if required. The service was excellent and
Jennie was wonderful, highly recommended. I felt so good and confident With my
new style I had a walk around Southport, then decided to drive over to the Trafford
centre and had a walk around the shops not bad for my first day out.”
Hugs Julie
“ www.frillys.co.uk is a friendly dressing service in Droylsden a town about
4miles from the centre and gay village in Manchester. The owner is called Julie and
she now offers self catering accommodation above her shop.
HOTELS- I use Travelodge and the special offers of £10 & £26 a night per room are
great value. I have never had any problems at these hotels. The only problem I have
had at an hotel was at a gay hotel in Torquay where I got a really frosty welcome to
say the least.
MAKEUP- I don’t use Dermablend because it is expensive and difficult to apply so I
use a Boots No17 cover stick or a Rimmel cover stick both are on sale at about £2.50.
“
Raquel
Hi Mandy!
I order make-up from http://www.blushedcosmetics.co.uk/ . They are very
reliable and discreet with their deliveries even to Holland. And you know the all in
price straight away, no need to email asking for price of postage. And they have a 50p
and GBP1.00 corner!
Kirsty
Contact us on: Tel: +44 1376 322209 or Mobile: +44 7887 723239
Email your general enquiries to:
[email protected]
Email your website enquiries to:
[email protected]
164
165
Following on from the magnificent
Acts I & II ( as reviewed in the last
Narcisse Issue ) Act III is THE place
to be!!! And just to add a lil extra,
Mandy and Paula will be reviewing
the night in the next issue, so if you
want to be part of the article, come
and say hello !!
166
Wigs
S
e
l
i
n
a
‘
s
JADE
Good quality wigs at
really great prices.
All wigs just
£25 plus p+p
MELISSA
All Orders/Queries should be sent to
[email protected]
RACHELLE
SUZIE
167
SARAH-JANE
SAMANTHA
HIGHLY RECOMMENDED
e
h
t
f
o
s
s
e
r
t
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M hadows~
S
All sets are made up of 2x 0-9 size nails, and glue is included in the total price
I post to anywhere P&P in the UK is £1.00
Every where else £2.50
(Price may vary from set to set please check p&p price below)
I accept pay pal, personal cheque and postal orders
I prefer postal orders and cheques so if you pay with either you can have free p&p
(Offer for UK only)
I can paint almost any design so just ask if you cannot see what you want
I can paint in bulk, so whatever the number of sets, just ask me
(But please be aware bulk orders will take a longer time to finish so if it
is for a set date please contact me asap)
I am not a qualified nail technician, I am a self taught nail artist, and the nails are
subject to imperfections due to them being hand painted
I CANNOT OFFER MACHINE QUALITY
CHECK OUT MY SHOP FOR DESIGNS
FOR EVERY AND ANY OCCASIONS
http://stores.ebay.co.uk/
SIMPLY-NAILS-AND-STUFF_
168
HIGHLY RECOMMENDED
169
170
A non-stop Office of Homeland Security employee, a long term US Senator and
a group of cross dressers combine for Deception: A Tale of Cross Dressing and
Espionage, written by Carollyn Olson.
The story features Katie Hightower, a OHS investigator; The Senator and his
cronies; junior press secretary Eric Allen and his wife Sunny; the wild-andwacky Lisah Aubergine; the always on-the-spot KC Tyler and Andrea Forbes,
and 20 other members of the Vanity Club investigative team and friends of the
author.
“I always wanted to write about a group of cross dressers, who would turn the
world upside down,” said Ms. Olson, a 50-ish, straight, conservative, Christian
cross dresser from California. “The story takes the reader from the annual
Correspondents Dinner in Washington, DC, around the world and back in one
year as the Vanity Club girls attempt to crack a money laundering terrorist
mystery. I hope I have succeeded in making the book fun, intriguing and full of
twists and turns.”
The book is $12 (US) for regular mail; $15 (US) for priority mail, and $18 (US)
for international mail. I do not accept Pay Pal.
To order, please send cash, check or money order to: Carollyn Olson, PO Box
1241, Loomis, CA 95650.
“The cost of the book will only cover my expenses and postage,” said Ms.
Olson. “Any profits will go to the Vanity Club.”
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171
TLC
TLC provide a complete range of Fashion and Beauty
related services
Image Consultancy
Personal Shopping
Overseas Chaperone
Beauty & Holistic Therapies
TLC was founded so that these specialised services are
available to anyone and everyone at competetive rates,
anywhere in the world
The team at TLC comprises of Victoria Harrison and Teresa Wrobel.
Both are highly trained in their field and will push all boundaries to ensure your are 100% delighted
with the services TLC offers.
Victoria is herself a post-operative transwoman having very successfully transitioned in December 2005
at the age of 33.
She underwent Sexual Reassignment Surgery in October 2006.
She is obviously fully aware of the particular problems faced by, and the needs of a transwoman. She is
a very creative and artistic individual with a keen eye for fashion and trends and will pass on her wealth
of experience to her clients.
She is an experienced Image Consultant, Stylist, Make-Up Artist and Personal Shopper. She offers the
Chaperone service with a complete personal understanding of your needs having very recently undergone the same surgeries herself.
She is a fully qualified Beauty and Holistic Therapist, Nail Technician and is also a Fashion, Comercial
Print and Artistic Nude Model.
You can see her Model Portfolio using the buttons on the Useful Links page on our site.
Teresa is a fully qualified Beauty and Holistic Therapist, Make-Up Artist, Nail Technician and also a
very experienced Image Consultant.
She is fully aware of the needs of a transwoman as she assisted and supported Victoria throughout her
recent transition.
Both members of the team at TLC are 100% understanding, discrete and are commited to providing the
ultimate service to their cientele.
They are available 24 hours a day, 7 days a week, 365 days a year anywhere in the world.
http://m2f.mfbiz.com/
172
“And Now,
The end is near….."
And that, ladies and gentlemen,
is it. Another fine issue I think
you’ll agree, the writers excel
themselves month after month,
a MASSIVE thanks to all of you,
and , of course, to you the reader
too, without you all this wouldnt
happen.
Extra thanks also to Vanilla Lush
for her frank interview, such a shame
that you were not given the chance
you REALLY deserved, keep going
honey.
So, what happens next? Well, next
issue we will be having a review of
the TOP 10 Clubs in Europe, with
a forward by the HUGELY
talented DJ TREVOR
NELSON!!!
What else yet, I have no,
haven’t written it yet! hehe
173
This year, I really want to make Narcisse
a big concern, I think that all the
work that goes into this publication
deserves some reward, everyone
works so hard, so keep supporting
Narcisse, you will NEVER be
charged to read it, but a lil
business support in the form of
paying advertising will make this
flourish and hopefully we will end
up on the shelves with the best!
Take care of eachother
Mandy xxx
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Mandy Taylor
Editor - in - chief
(Whatever THAT means??!!)
email - [email protected]
Drew Nield-Massey- UK Based Writer and
all-round good egg, Author of “Drew - With Drew Your History” & this months Hororscope . NOT shy, as you would
think looking at the substitute picture ( What do you mean
you thought that was her? ) Just a lazy moo who didnt get
her picture to me in time! giggle
Scott - UK Based Writer and partner of
Drew- Author of “Scott, the Wit & the
Wardrobe
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Kaz - Bestest mate a girl could have - UK
Based GG - Author of “ Personal Profile “ our
new monthly make-up pages & Owner of the
FAB Frillyfantasy online store!
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R Joanne - Long-suffering wife of Mandy, rovE ing reporter and general snoop, the source of “
G In the paper’s”.
U [email protected]
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Lisa-Gayle - US based writer, Author of
A
"Across Golden Pond" an ex-pats view of life
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R Ian- Good friend and gatherer of useless (
and usually VERY funny ) information - source
I of Woman’s World and other funny stuff
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Susan Hamilton - UK based writer,
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Author of “So Susan” and combatant in the
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in the States!
“Style Council” Competition
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Ginger Hyatt
- US based writer, Author
of “A Taste of Ginger”
Kitty
- UK based combatant in this issues “
Style Council” Competition
Sharon S Lothian - Author of this Issues
“ One Girls Story”
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