No. 4089 - Eton College

Transcription

THECHRONICLE
St Andrew’s Day 2008 Edition — Issue 4089 — £5.00
Editorial
‘A wall not wholly unknown to fame’
T
his past month has been
witness to a flurry of
momentous occasions.
Ours is an age of dramatic
superlatives and giddy hyperbole, in which the first black
President, the worst financial
crisis and the first Bond sequel
have flourished. Time after time
the reassuring pattern of history
has been trounced, its age-old
truths repeatedly broken and its
long-standing axioms ruthlessly
shredded.
Typically, we are hostile to
such change, endowed with the
nostalgic (and peculiarly British)
tendency to romanticize our past.
When our heritage is threatened,
we react with indignation and
dismay; hence, we rally behind
Andrew Sachs, a treasured actor of a past generation, and shy
away from Jonathan Ross and
Russell Brand, a pair of fledgling
young-guns who dare to defy the
established order.
Perhaps it is timely, then,
that St Andrew’s Day is finally
with us. St Andrew’s is a day of
history and tradition, of ceremony
and ritual, a welcome and stable
antidote to the frightening acceleration of history. But it is also
a day of progress, on which we
celebrate the future of our school,
opening the doors of the Drawing
Schools, the Design Department
and School Hall and inviting
parents and guests to see Eton’s
development first-hand.
This duality, I think, is best
captured in the magnificent centrepiece of St Andrew’s Day, the
Wall Game, a sport coloured by
its bizarre traditions and archaic
customs. Every year, for instance,
both sides act out their prescribed
routines before an appreciative
audience; whilst the Scholars link
arms and circle College Field, the
Oppidans march through Eton
and leap over the Wall. These
traditions are theatrical, but not
perfunctory, generating a ripple
of excitement and anticipation
amongst the spectators, and stirring a swell of pride amongst the
participants.
At the same time, the Wall
Game demands and encourages
the development of certain relevant skills. A successful Bullyplayer must demonstrate tenacity, courage and determination,
whilst an enterprising Behind
must display a cool head, a sharp
mind and a thick skin. No participant expects to be singled out for
praise; such is the nature of the
game that most heroic feats will
be obscured from the crowd and
known only to the players, swallowed up by the shifting mass of
3
the Bully. Appropriately, therefore,
this is a game free from dramaqueens and prima-donnas, amateur theatrics and show-boating.
In addition, the Wall Game
fosters a spirit of grace and gratitude. One renowned and worthy
KS, himself a legendary exponent
of the game, wrote, with loving
understatement, that
“The reassuring
pattern of history has been
trounced, its
age-old truths
The poet, James Kenneth
repeatedly
Stevens, who attended the school
between 1871 and 1878, is the
broken and its
most revered and remembered
Colleger in history. Most KSs are
long-standing
lucky to play two St Andrew’s;
Stevens played four. Most teams
axioms ruthare lucky to score one shie; unlessly shredder Stevens’ leadership, College
scored fourteen. The imagined
ded.”
connection between Stevens
There’s another wall with a field
beside it
A wall not wholly unknown to
fame
For a game is played there which
most who’ve tried it
Declare a truly noble game.
and Jack the Ripper illustrates,
to my mind, the beauty of the
Wall Game; it is a game of studied savagery, meticulous chaos
and restrained violence, a game
which thrives on paradox and
contradiction.
This same paradox invades
our daily lives, insofar as it is
necessary both to cherish the
past and to embrace the future.
It will not do to cling doggedly
to tradition and heritage; nor
will it do to reject progress and
change. It is, as Shakespeare suggested, essential to ‘look before
and after’. Having now alluded
to the Bard and to Bond in both
my editorials, I sense that I have
done enough looking back for the
present.
THECHRONICLE // ST ANDREW’S DAY 2008 EDITION
Contents
Editorial
Letter to the Editors
Jolly Boating Weather
Religious Diversity at Eton
King Henry IV
Societies Report
An Eton Education
At the Wall
An Appealing Game
Squash Review
Twelfth Man Report
The Art of Book Bashes
Tunes & Trumpets
Swimming in Switzerland
Boyspeak
Beakspeak
The Jackal
3
5
6
8
11
19
20
24
26
28
28
30
31
32
36
37
39
Letter
to the
Editors
Dear Sir,
I would like to congratulate
you upon your last issue. It really
was an exciting read, full of plot,
action, suspense and offensive
comments. First amongst them
is Mr. (or as he would address
me, for some unknown reason,
although I am told he is trying to
make a joke out of one the most
notorious human beings of the
20th Century, Herr) Jackal’s depiction of me in his puerile column.
I am disgusted (and as you know,
I do not use this word lightly)
by his belief that, just because
I am a “double-barrelled minted
KS” I should ignore charity, as he
evidently does, and definitely not
take a stand against apathy in
this direction. He also mentioned
my “substantial scholarship”,
which, I might remind him, is a
part of the never-ending cycle
of charity at this school, where
the only obstacles in that direction are the boys. I struggle to
see how my fiscal matters and
concern should be any concern of
his, and I am distressed to know
that he thinks it is more worthwhile to throw mud at me for saying something that might make a
difference to someone else, rather
than just let him follow what he
believes to be an excellent career
plan, namely to “wait for Daddy
Jackal to die”. I hope this works
out for him, so that he does not
ever have to rely on charity, for
if, as I fear, his opinions on the
matter are representative of the
public at large, then he will find
life a lot harder than he ever
imagines it could be. Perhaps he
should take solace in the fact that
it is unlikely that we (by which
I am trying to include myself in
the same bracket as him, I hope
he won’t mind the smell of caring
so close to him) shall suffer in
the coming recession, but rather,
once again, he shall be able to
enjoy what would appear to be
his favourite pastime, laughing at
poor people in the street.
Yours,
P.Leigh-Pemberton
The Jackal would respond to
Mr Leigh-Pemberton in a very eloquent way by making ironic and
double-layered ironic comments
like him, but there are some poor
people outside and he feels the
distinct urge to laugh at them
instead of devoting any time to
this riposte. He is rather happy
with his career path actually, as
there is little chance of him failing
miserably at a job he hates while
trying to stay afloat. Furthermore,
the Jackal would be delighted to
share the same bracket as him,
and appreciates his vast wealth.
The Jackal would also like to offer
Mr L-P an olive branch, and hopes
that they can one day count
money together.
5
T
he VIII, in a new line up
following the Eton Regatta,
raced at Marlow and
Reading Amateur Regattas
as warm up events for the stern
test to come in early July. A win
in S1 VIIIs against good quality senior rowers was followed
by three encouraging races at
Jolly Boating
Weather
ABH recounts last
summer’s Henley Regatta
Clockwise from below:
With 700m to go, momentarily snatching a lead from
Shawnigan Lake, Canadian
schoolboy champions in the
final; The VIII defeat Australian schoolboy champions, Scotch College from
Melbourne, to reach the
final of the Princess Elizabeth Cup; Tired after an emotional final race together.
Marlow, again in Senior 1, that
saw our crew beat some very fast
senior opposition on the way to a
testing final.
Henley brought changeable weather as usual, but the
stream was never as strong as
the previous year, and there was
less advantage to be gained from
racing on Berks (closest to the enclosures) than there was in 2007.
The first two days racing offered a
young crew from Bedford Modern
School, and an improving crew
from St Edwards as opposition.
Both were despatched with ease
after little more than two minutes
of full pressure rowing. The third
day brought a race against St
Joseph’s Prep from the USA, which
many had billed as the final come
early. The last time that an Eton
VIII had raced St Jo’s was in fact
in the final in 2005, and racing
this highly fancied VIII—reported
in the press as the best that
coach Bill Lamb had produced—on
Independence Day was expected
to be a very tough challenge. The
race went exactly to plan. After
a fast start, The VIII was able to
respond to the Americans’ strong
mid course push and then row
away along the enclosures to win
by the seemingly comfortable
margin of a length and a half,
in the fastest time posted in the
2008 event.
On semi-final day, The VIII
were drawn against the Australian
schoolboy champions, Scotch
College from Melbourne, where
ITB is now Head Master. This
proved to be a very tough race
as both crews were very well
matched. No school in Australia
had been able to live with
Scotch’s fast start, and after a
minute or so they led the VIII by
about a third of a length. The VIII
then drew back to nearly level by
halfway and put the Australians
under a lot of pressure. Scotch
couldn’t respond to the power
of The VIII in the finishing stages
and the Eton boys went on to win
by two thirds of a length or so.
These two hard races were
to prove to be the undoing of
our crew on the final day of the
regatta. Shawnigan Lake School,
Canadian national champions
boated a heavier crew then
Eton by half a stone per man,
including one boy who was 17
stone. They had dispatched both
Abingdon and Shrewsbury with
comparative ease expending a
minimum of energy in the run up
to racing Eton. The VIII’s plan was
to hold The Canadian champions
to half a length on the start and
then put in a large challenge in
the middle of the race before
sprinting home. It went exactly to
plan, and the VIII was poised level
with 600m of the course remaining. However, the price of drawing the Canadians back was too
great and had taken the speed
out of our boys legs in the closing
300m. Shawnigan drew away, our
boys unable to raise their rate of
striking having rowed themselves
out, to win by three quarters of a
length.
Special mention must go
to Mike Evans who stroked the
boat exceptionally well throughout the regatta and is now
stroking the GB VIII in the World
Championships in Linz, Austria
where he will be joined by Ben
Bathurst. Mike will be Captain of
Boats in 2008/09. Nick Jordan, outgoing Captain, has led by example
all year, demonstrating wonderful
leadership skills and has been
crucial in developing independent
training ethos amongst the Upper
Boats squad. He has also been
selected to race in Austria but in
the USA VIII.
Thank you to all who have
supported these boys this year in
previous years throughout their
rowing careers. It was wonderful
to see so many Etonians, House
Masters and friends support the
boys this year, and it is terrific
to feel so well supported by the
community. Lastly, many thanks
to Simo Francis-Zangrandi who
fuelled the boys for the week that
they were in the Henley “safe
house”—we all owe her a lot!
7
I
t was somewhat surreal sitting in Upper School on a dark
and wet Sunday evening in
November, surrounded by the
busts of illustrious OEs while in
the middle of the room there
were traditional Hindu dances and
musical performances from a faith
around three millennia old. This
was at the Faith Forum on 2nd
November, a deceptive name for
what is a great event. For those
who have no idea what the Faith
Religious
Diversity at
Eton
Rishab Mehan celebrates a new
religious venture
Forum is (unfortunately, there
may be many), it is an annual
meeting of the different religious
groups of Eton to share their
experiences.
Interestingly, the Forum for
this year came at a time when
the Muslim and Christian faiths
are involved in a dialogue to
reconcile what they argue are the
shared origins of their beliefs.
The BBC reports that a delegation of 138 Muslim Scholars are
visiting the Pope, asking him to
endorse their letter, A Common
Word, which cites “passages from
the Koran which the scholars
said showed that Christianity and
Islam worship the same God, and
require their respective followers
to show each other particular
friendship.”
Religious views at Eton have
an important difference from such
ideals. The school doesn’t make
a profound claim to unite and integrate the major world religions
but quietly shows the success of
a pluralistic community and one
that leads the way to religious inclusion. This was shown no better
than in the effortless process of
the Hindu class being established
in the Lent Half last year.
Far from satisfying the
stereotypical view as the austere
‘Establishment’, Eton has been
a leader in recognising different
cultures and faiths. The school
was at the forefront of introducing world religions into the school
curriculum in the 1960s.
The most appealing aspect
of the diversity at Eton is the way
the school achieves it. It doesn’t
reconstruct each individual identity (‘Etonianism’ is imposed as
much we each want it to be) but
allows each individual to be what
they want to be. More importantly, it is not superficial, it’s more
than just tolerance; the diversity
is celebrated as a central feature
of our community.
This year, the Faith Forum
was hosted by the Hindu class to
mark its creation. The audience,
from comments we have heard at
least, enjoyed the evening which
included musical performances on
the Santoor (a traditional instrument which has one hundred
strings) as well as ancient dances
such as the Sri Ram Chandra
Kripalu which involves particularly
intricate and coordinated movements reflecting the devotion
to Lord Rama as the ideal man,
husband and king. The performers
were invited by the Hindu Tutor
and impressed us all with their
discipline and clear devotion to
their art.
The class chose such a
contribution for the Faiths Forum
to reflect the universality of human nature that is embodied in
the arts. The attempt to define
art, and more importantly, to
explain the feeling art invokes,
has been a philosophical question for centuries. The pluralistic
view of Hinduism suggests there
are many ways to think about
God and make spiritual progress.
One of these ways is artistic endeavour. Hinduism considers any
human discipline such as music,
dance, drama and poetry as reflecting our underlying spirituality
and possibly the closest we will
come to experiencing the existence of something more significant than us.
It’s difficult to come to terms
with a view of art as being so
powerful, especially with the
cynicism that we show to some
modern art. Whether or not you
agree, and on whatever basis you
may agree (after all, our perception of art is subjective), it is hard
to deny that there are emotional
experiences that underpin the
‘human condition’. They can
sometimes be more significant
and abstract that we can rationally explain.
What does all of this have to
do with Eton? The school seems
far beyond its time and gives us
the opportunity to experience
almost anything we wish. Deny
it if you will but walking into the
Chapel is still close to numinous,
the choir is awe-inspiring and the
sound from the depth of organ is
moving. From the force of the XV
on the Field to another incredible
School Play in the Farrer Theatre,
the experiences we share here
are rare.
If we cannot prove a higher
existence and cannot abandon
our logic, and there is no reason
why we must, the self-progress
we make by being who we want
to be and making what we want
to make of life at Eton is an ambition that all religions share. Some
call it spirituality, some call devotion to God and other will inevitably call it something we couldn’t
possibly mention here. However,
the religious diversity of Eton is
yet another example of what we
are so privileged to have; the
possibility of achieving something
more meaningful beyond the
hope of driving those fast cars to
that ‘city job’, wearing an OE tie.
9
King Henry IV
PB answers an epic performance with
an epic review
S
imon Dormandy’s compelling production of
King Henry IV was one
of the half dozen best
Shakespearean productions I’ve
ever seen on any stage and, since
you were about to ask, the total
must be well over two hundred
by now; a number which makes
me feel as old as Justice Shallow,
though maybe not quite as old
as Justice Silence. I saw the dress
rehearsal and two of the performances; I wish I could have seen all
three.
Simon took the brave step
of “re-engineering” the two parts
of King Henry IV and having taken
one bold step, he took several
further ones, re-arranging the
sequence of scenes and including moments from both Richard II
and Henry V. This was a play no
member of the audience had ever
seen before. One of the great joys
of his convincing adaptation was
the clear dramatic journey given
11
Opposite: George Quiney
“Lap-tops and
lap dancing;
BMX bikes and
wheelchairs,
Securicor
guards from
The Bill and
nurses from
Casualty”
to five of Shakespeare’s most
compelling characters: King Henry
IV, Prince Hal, Hotspur, Falstaff
and, wondrously and unexpectedly, Mistress Quickly, and all that
within a three hour time frame:
something Shakespeare himself
didn’t quite manage.
This was a production of
and for our times; it featured
lap-tops and lap dancing; BMX
bikes and wheelchairs, Securicor
guards from The Bill and nurses
from Casualty, Welsh rugby and
Arsenal football shirts, Carlsberg
and cocaine, cigars and cricket,
characters straight [sic] from
the gallery of the Village People,
music from Madonna, Kylie, Dolly
Parton, Patsy Cline, Gnarls Barkley
and The Saturdays as well as the
theme tune from the BBC Evening
News; it contrasted a sharpsuited monochromatic court, with
a seedy but colourful crowd of
The Boar’s Head (a lap-dancing
club) which was populated by an
unhealthy, loose-living, but vivid
demi-monde of punks and tarts,
ex-rockers and ex-squaddies,
dealers and dopeheads. But at its
heart there was a familiar piece
of furniture: a bed.
A bed fit for a king. A Kingsized bed. A sick bed. A death
bed. An improvised stage both
for the great play acting scene
between Falstaff and Hal and the
girl-on-girl entertainment which
formed part of Mistress Quickly’s
bill of fare. This bed, so inventively and imaginatively used,
gave the production a beautifully
simple unifying symbol for its
exploration of the intertwining
political and personal relationships at the core of Shakespeare’s
astonishing portrait of a nation.
And whilst this production did full
justice to politics and to battle,
to the agonies of civil strife and
the allure of foreign campaigns, it
seemed to me that it was at the
domestic level and in its exploration of “That Old Devil Called
Love” where it was at its most
brilliant, original and striking.
Love might not be the first
word which springs to mind
when asked about what is the
pre-eminent concern of what are
routinely called the History plays—
but it was the beating heart of
this production: we were shown
Falstaff’s deep love for Hal, which
was reciprocated for a time, and
from time to time, but finally
rejected; the love both Mistress
Quickly and Doll Tearsheet feel
for Falstaff, which he returned
but very much on his own terms;
the love Kate Percy feels for her
husband Hotspur, which was
reciprocated but once again only
on his own terms; the love King
Henry feels for his estranged son,
which was only returned at the
very end of the king’s life and
only then after each had caused
the other deep distress; and there
were hints of other love stories
too: of Justice Shallow’s for Jane
Nightwork and the “bona robas”
of his youth; and of Silence, who
clearly had a soft spot for the
musical theatre. The sweet and
sentimental sounds of Country
and Western music and the torch
songs of cabaret entertainers
were the favourites in the Boar’s
Head jukebox and in placing the
emphasis on the human and
personal level it seems to me
that Simon brought to the surface
wells of emotion which many
recent productions have ignored
or failed to uncover.
Simon’s command of stage
picture is superb. If it were possible to freeze moments from this
production, as on a DVD, I’ve no
doubt each scene would repay
careful study and examination:
I’ll choose just two. The first has
King Henry fading away on his
death bed centre stage, lit as
if by candlelight, while around
the margins of the stage (i.e.
his kingdom) walk and talk that
ill assorted group of eccentrics
and exiles (was anyone else put
in mind of Little Britain or The
League of Gentlemen?) living in
rural Gloucestershire. Time, arguably the play’s deepest concern,
is running out for all of them and
when Falstaff is glimpsed way
upstage centre above, and at the
same time in line with, the king,
all their destinies are pictorially
linked in an illuminating and satisfying way.
Mistress Quickly’s transvestite turn, on a mobile platform
complete with lap dancer’s pole
and killer heels, flanked by icons
drawn from the gallery of gay
stereotypes was sensational.
Simon’s re-written lyrics to the
tune of “My Heart Belongs to
Daddy” were pitch perfect both
in delivery and in their tacky
suggestiveness. Enhanced by
Matthew Evered’s scintillating
lighting and the MC’s gravelly
voiced introduction, the audience
was instantly put in mind of a
Soho dive or the curtain-raiser to
a televised Darts Championship.
What of the performances
and with whom to begin?
Let’s start at the top of
the pyramid with King Henry IV
(Bobby Leigh Pemberton). Bobby
gave us dignity, he gave us bodily
infirmity (not easy when you are
a ruddy faced seventeen year old
in excellent health) and spiritual
anxiety, he gave us some truly
majestic verse speaking in that
honey-rich baritone voice, and he
gave full value both to Henry’s
political and filial frustrations.
His son Prince Hal (Henry
Faber) has a wonderful dramatic
journey, particularly so in Simon’s
13
adaptation: from playboy prince
to responsible ruler, from cracksnorting denizen of the East End
to master of the media circus,
from a young man with two unsatisfactory fathers to a slightly
older one with none, from a lad
at home in his jeans and leather
jacket, via his combat fatigues,
to the Armani suited leader, tieless and effortlessly cool. Henry
showed enviable physical ease
and grace on stage, a supple and
easy way with the verse, and
tremendous charm—from his first
appearance, his slight and sinewy
torso on show, it was easy to see
why he inspired affection, even
adoration in so many; his touching and tender physical affection for Falstaff was natural and
unforced, his mockery of Percy
on his horse had the right combination of wit and disdain; he
had total plausibility when taking
part in a rave or disguised as an
Arab sheikh at the Boar’s Head, or
taking on Hotspur in a knife-fight
(thrillingly directed by Jonathan
Waller).
Falstaff (Edwin Ashcroft) was
superb. This was a subtly original interpretation of a role which
many of us thought we knew
inside out. On the outside we had
the familiar shape—white beard,
white hair, and courtesy of three
fatsuits, Edwin was transformed
into a credibly “huge hill of flesh”
but how brilliantly he avoided the
physical clichés of girth and age
with those neat, light and dainty
steps, that speedy tripping gait:
his Falstaff was a graceful mover,
as adept in a hoe down as a slow
dance, or a rap with Pistol, or
re-enacting that series of imagined blows from the Gadshill
Raid, including a back trick which
he appeared to have learnt from
Bruce Lee. That he and Hal both
wore leather jackets put us in
mind not just of James Dean but
also of Hector from Alan Bennett’s
The History Boys. He showed his
deep love for Hal—his youth, his
beauty, his companionship—with
those yearning upstage looks,
those tender post coital caresses
and in his face saving “I shall be
sent for soon at night” after his
public rejection and humiliation
at the Coronation. Edwin’s witty,
self-knowing performance made
clear why Falstaff inspires love
in both men and women, from
Mistress Quickly and from Doll (a
spirited Polly Marsden).
George Quiney’s Mistress
Quickly was another brilliant piece
of sustained character acting.
Here Mistress Quickly was a transvestite, a night club entertainer
in the mould of a Black Country
Lily Savage whose signature song,
to the tune of “My Heart Belongs
to Daddy”, was a tour de force
of camp innuendo. The audience
loved his dazzling one piece gold
lamé costume, the huge blonde
beehive hairdo, hommage I guess
to that gay icon Dusty Springfield,
as well as George’s suggestive
and lissom gestures round the
pole; and as for the singing voice,
well it put me in mind of Danny
La Rue—a reference which will
be lost on anyone who has read
this far and is under fifty. The
genius of this performance lay
in the juxtaposition of the accomplished performer, Mistress
Quickly being his stage name,
and the troubled individual and
citizen, whose name we never
learn, who is in love with a man,
Falstaff, to whom he has lent a
considerable sum of money and
who is also promiscuous—not that
MQ is over-concerned by that.
The marriage proposal made by
Mistress Quickly to Falstaff is one
of the most affecting scenes in
the play and made perfect sense
in an era of civil partnerships.
Most affecting of all was the lament for Falstaff—wigless and out
of a job, allowing the pathos to
emerge from his detailed recall of
Falstaff’s final moments, without
ever forcing the emotion, his own
fortitude and controlled self-pity
revealing themselves in those
fanning finger gestures on the
table.
Archie Cornish played
Hotspur as a pocket dynamo of
high octane energy always in a
tearing hurry to get on with the
next physical encounter, be it
battle or a chukka at the Guards
Club, bursting with youthful high
spirits and vocal panache. It was
surely no coincidence that in one
of his early scenes he, like Hal,
was shirtless: as an audience
we were encouraged to consider
these two well-born young men
of a similar age as sharing a great
deal and having much in common, however different they may
seem to King Henry.
This was a production which
bore eloquent witness to that old
drama school dictum: “There are
no small parts, only small actors”.
In no particular order I recall
with great pleasure: Shadow (Guy
Clark) whey-faced and vacant,
sitting on a tyre in his raincoat
during the recruitment scene;
Feeble (Alex MacKeith) whose
delicate way with a bayonet in
the same scene matched that
neatly turned in toe when under
inspection; Craig Lovell who gave
us a splendidly measured and
reasonable Northumberland and
then a miraculous Mouldy, who
seemed to be almost composed
of loam, with his weighty utterance, his imperturbable and
sagacious manner. Rob Cobbold
(Justice Shallow) who created a
wonderful eccentric—stick thin,
glasses on a chain, tedious and
15
“The audience
loved his dazzling one piece
gold lamé costume, the huge
blonde beehive
hairdo”
Opposite: Henry Faber & Bobby
Leigh-Pemberton
repetitive in speech as so many
of Shakespeare’s senex figures
are, querulous in tone, sycophantic to a degree whether Falstaff
was being witty or not, and yet
in the final analysis, endearing:
will any of us ever forget his
demonstration of weapon drill?
If Rob Cobbold was endearing,
then how to describe the Charlie
Parham’s (Reverend) Silence?
Divine, perhaps? Charles somehow suggested with very few
words, some very slow steps
taken with the aid of a zimmer
frame and then in his wheelchair,
the full biography of an Anglican
priest; his nostalgic renditions
of “Bye, bye, Mr American Pie”
and “Sit Down You’re Rocking the
Boat” from Guys and Dolls were
not only pitch perfect but affecting as he embodied a man who
was moving inexorably into the
deeply private world of extreme
old age. Sam Kennerley’s Douglas
was an imposing physical and
vocal presence in battle—his tag
line “I am the Douglas” brought
humour but it also brooked no
reproach. Johnnie Hosken’s white
haired Worcester was more than
equal to the demands of a political heavyweight, while Rupert
Seymour, with more than a hint
of the young Frank Sinatra in his
choice of suit and hat, gave Poins
just the right measure of loyalty
and sleaze endowing his character with an eye-catching swagger. Max Marcq as Westmoreland
was a military man from cap
badge to polished shoe: purposeful and proud, it was easy to
see why his support would be
welcome; Giacomo Sain (Prince
John), showed how with just a
few lines, a skilful actor can make
a strong impression—his Prince,
who in contrast to the prodigal
Hal stays at home, was more truly
grief-stricken than anyone when
the king his father died. Harry
Osborne gave us a notable triple:
his MC at the Boar’s Head was
delightfully seedy, his Glendower
telescope trained on the heavens, was suitably pompous and
wind-blown, while his Bullcalf put
me in mind of those hairy bikers
whose other hobby is keeping
budgerigars. As Bardolph Sam
Marriott had many fine moments
but one in particular stood out as
he attempted to come to terms
with and to articulate the new
order, now Hal was no longer a
Prince but a King, “Things must
be as they may” bruised and baffled but indicating the pragmatic
attitude which will see him shortly shog off to serve in France.
Fred Cripps put me in mind of the
recently resigned Metropolitan
Police Commissioner Blair, decent,
perplexed and somehow unlucky;
while Ben Schroder’s Pistol was
a wide boy and something of a
waster, a wizard on the bike and
in the kitchen, louche, laddish
and likeable. Henry Garner was
terrifying as a ghost and as Sir
Richard Vernon gave an object
lesson on how to contribute to
a scene without speaking. Jack
Collins (Peto) raised many laughs
with his ribald interjections in
the club but it was his reaction to
Falstaff’s rejection by Hal which
will stay with me: his dawning realisation that this was not another scene in a long running comedy but the end of the series was
simply and truthfully conveyed.
Edith Dormandy gave us a beautiful Lady Percy, devoted, lithe and
physically strong enough to pin
Hotspur to the ground but ultimately unable to control events
in the same way. Ed Wingfield
was a pleasingly self-satisfied
and ironic Walter Blunt, whose
heroic death, disguised as the
king, put a face and a name to all
the slaughter. Richard Braham’s
frantic attempts, as Mortimer, to
bridge the gulf between Hotspur’s
ambition and Glendower’s hippy
dreamworld were both touching
and amusing, while his cameos,
as a Securicor guard and village policemen added detail and
humanity to every scene he was
in. Archie Kelly gave a moving
and heartfelt portrait of the loyal
Earl of Warwick, ever-present at
Henry’s bedside, and, by contrast,
a most outrageous Village People
leather-clad biker. The girls of the
Berkshire Hunt (Katie Goodsell,
Ione Bingley, and Alex Bray) were
a sassy and sexy ensemble and
individually very skilful too: part
of the joy of watching a production of this kind and calibre is
seeing young performers showing their versatility and giving a
glimpse of things to come. Jamie
Kelly as Falstaff’s page will surely
be eager to act in Shakespeare
and in school plays again after
making such a good impression
on his first outing and in his first
half in the school.
Henry Fletcher mastered the
huge soundplot with astonishing assurance, switching from
ear-splitting fire-fights to languid
torchsongs without dropping a
stitch; Jasper Millward-Sdougos
steered his young and impressively disciplined stage crew through
a blizzard of prop and furniture
movements; and David GriffithJones ran a lighting design, by
Matthew Evered, of extraordinary
subtlety and complexity, making whole worlds emerge from
the surrounding darkness at the
touch of a button.
I doubt the boys and girls
who formed the King Henry company will ever forget their experience: those fortunate enough
to have seen it will remember
a production whose intellectual
integrity, artistic vision and human insights were matched by an
ensemble of young actors working
together to produce something of
rare distinction.
17
Parry Society:
Mr David Goode
OE
Lower Boy Classical Society: Balloon
Debate
George Cooke MS (PB)
Eugene Loh KS
With proposed speaker
Edward Gardner OE unable to
attend, DWG stepped in at short
notice to deliver a passionate
and incisive talk on Bach’s St.
Matthew Passion, a hallowed
masterpiece of the classical
repertoire.
DWG’s meticulous preparation (all the more admirable due
to the lack of time) was able to
draw the Precentor’s attention to
the composer’s unruly handwriting, but, thankfully, Bach’s many
qualities were clearly displayed
thanks to Mr. Goode’s concise
analysis, contextual knowledge,
and a selection of striking recordings. The hour passed quickly
- the audience had thoroughly
enjoyed DWG’s varied and informative speaking.
The LBCS has had another
fun and interesting meeting following the quiz a few weeks ago,
a balloon debate. Each of the secretaries pretended to be a famous
classical character (although
one was unfortunately ill on the
day), and we ended up having a
rather strange mix of Heracles,
Leonidas, Aristotle, Terpsichore,
and Alexander the Great.
Each portrayed their respective character in unique and original ways. Heracles was a rather
arrogant character who claimed
to be the best in the world.
Leonidas was a rather nervous and anxious character, who
claimed that we would not have
been able “to walk on roads” if
it weren’t for him. Aristotle was
again rather arrogant and even
dared to challenge the muse
of music, Terpsichore, on the
subject of music! He must have
had an interesting reunion with
his former pupil, Alexander the
Great. Alexander portrayed himself as a humble and thoughtful
king, and received much support.
The survivor of the balloon was
in the end the incredibly camp
muse Terpsichore, who was there
to “entertain, rather than survive”, since she was immortal
anyway. She sang ancient Latin
and Japanese (for some very odd
reason) songs.
Well done to all the secretaries for providing such an enjoyable time for the audience!
The Wellington Society: Colonel Hugh
Toler MBE
William Hillgarth (NJR) and
Benedict Windsor (NJR)
warfare. This is using the connection between battle on land, sea
and air as one synchronised unit,
targeting the enemy’s weakest
position as well as using psychological tactics to dampen their
morale. He also demonstrated
great leadership, courage and
conviction, allowing the Japanese
to take ground before flanking
their position, attacking from
behind at Imphal. This cut off
the main route of supply for the
Japanese Army, which they heavily depended on whilst occupying
Kohima.
There is no doubt that Slim
was indeed one of this country’s
greatest heroes having fought in
both World Wars and being injured twice in the First World War
at the Battle of Gallipoli. Known
affectionately to the ranks as
“Uncle Bill”, after retiring from
the Army as Field Marshal, Slim
became Governor-General of
Australia.
Mr Lyman finished his
talk by taking questions in which
matters such as the influence of
Slim’s manoeuvre warfare, recent
examples of its use in the Army
and the reasons why Slim has
been forgotten were discussed.
On behalf of the Society we would
like to thank Mr Lyman for such
an interesting and informative
talk.
The Wellington Society was
proud to welcome Mr Robert
Lyman, military historian; author
of, among others, The Generals
and Slim, Master of War. Having
been in the Light Infantry for
twenty years and retiring as
Major, he gained valuable military
experience which translates into
his various publications.
General W.J. Slim and his influence in Burma was the subject
of his talk, especially referring
to the general as an “unsung
hero”. General Slim defeated the
Japanese Army twice using his
‘”forgotten” 14th Army (a regiment in the Indian Army) by employing his infamous manoeuvre
Societies Re
Medical Society: Dr Anne Marie
Minihane (Hugh Sinclair Unit of Human
Nutrition)
Adam Collins (RPDF)
The society welcomed Dr
Anne Marie Minihane of the Hugh
Sinclair Unit of Human Nutrition
at the University of Reading, who
came to talk about Nutrigenetics,
the science of personalising dietary advice based on an individual’s genotype. It was pitched well
for the level of knowledge of the
audience, succinctly explaining
the basic genetics theory as well
as discussing the complex interactions between different genes
which produce the wide range of
phenotypes observed. The society
would like to thank Dr Minihane
for coming to speak to us and the
secretaries for their introduction
and summation.
The Oriental Society: Dr. Elisabeth Hsu
(Oxford University)
questions relevant to the patient’s
specific symptoms. 4) The doctor
listens to the pulse, while occasionally simultaneously feeling
the Qi in the patient’s body. Dr.
Hsu then sought to answer the
question posed by the society,
and did so by giving several ways
to perceive efficacy. Whether
through symbolic efficacy, social efficacy, or even therapeutic
efficacy, there seemed to be a
cleverly constructed answer that
would secure TCM’s position as
a useful and effective system of
medicine.
Dr. Hsu ended by raising the
question of who was really more
gullible the patient, or the doctor?
Although most would believe the
patient as they would inevitably
believe the doctor’s advice, the
doctor’s overconfidence in his
own medical knowledge (gullible
belief) may lead to actual failure
in curing the patient. Perhaps, as
more and more ‘scientific’ doctors
dismiss TCM, they are actually
throwing away a hidden gem of
knowledge and healing potential. It was a truly insightful and
appealing talk to all those who
attended.
Cameron Coaten (NCWS)
Dr. Elisabeth Hsu is Reader
in Social Anthropology and Fellow
of Green College at the University
of Oxford. She came to speak on
the subject of “Chinese Medicine:
Does it work and if so, how?” Not
only did the subject of the talk
attract many medical students,
but it led to an evening of explicit
explanations which gave the audience a thorough understanding of
the area of study.
Dr. Hsu began by describing Traditional Chinese Medicine
(TCM) as an “invented tradition”.
This was due to the fact that
China was building its national
identity, in the same way that the
Scots are renowned for wearing
their kilts, which were an “invented tradition” created in the process of national identity building.
TCM is generally taught in Britain
through classes instructed by
‘professionals’ in the art, whereas
in China, the expertise is passed
through the generations in the
families.
Report
Dr. Hsu then went on to describe particular things that a student would study: the true depth
of Yin and Yang, the five elements
in Chinese philosophy (Wuxing
“The Five Phases”), the study of
the flow of Qi in the body (Qixue),
etc. By focusing on these areas,
Dr. Hsu was able to emphasise
the importance of wind, as not
only was wind part of the Wuxing,
but it could also be transcribed as
“air”, which is the literal translation of Qi. Acupuncture was
described as the art necessary to
use in order to control the flow of
Qi in the body, and thus by having the correct flow of Qi, one is
able to prevent the disease and
the pains that may have been
previously caused.
In TCM, four steps are used
in diagnosing the patient: 1) The
doctor studies the complexion
and the nature of the tongue. 2)
The doctor tests the hearing and
the smelling sense of the patient. 3) The doctor asks specific
19
I
tried to picture what Eton
would be like while I daydreamed last summer. Certain
elements seemed obvious:
there would be a lot of boys (it
being a boys’ school), the buildings would probably be ancient
and I gathered that I would drink
a lot of tea. But I actually had
great difficulty fully imagining
An Eton Education
The Annenberg Fellow, Anna
Grotberg, comes to terms with
tradition
Eton. What would the boys be
like? What would the other teachers be like? And would my Colony
look quite… “colonial”? Though
I had travelled to England several times prior to my arrival in
August, I had never been to Eton.
My only conceptions of Eton were
derived from the college website
and talking to old Etonian classmates at Yale. In some ways, I
think my inability to fully envision
what Eton was a blessing. Lacking
preconceptions meant I could experience Eton without comparison
to something imagined.
Since I arrived several weeks
prior to the start of term, my
initial impressions of Eton were
formed without students milling about. I found Eton an idyllic place. After a walk through
Luxmoore’s garden and a jog
along the Thames on an incredibly sunny day, I was fairly convinced that I had stumbled upon
a quiet Eden conveniently located
a train ride away from one of my
favorite cities in the world. The
other aspect of Eton that immediately struck me was the kindness
and warmth of the Eton community. The number of colleagues
looking in on me, showing me
around, and taking me out for a
pint, made the transition process
much smoother than I had anticipated. The camaraderie, especially amongst the younger members
of staff, was a pleasant surprise.
My first weeks at Eton felt
like an extended holiday… and
then the boys arrived. I wrote in
my journal that Wednesday night:
“I think a hurricane has hit.”
Eton went from “0 to 60” in what
seemed a matter of seconds,
something I was not expecting.
In America, returning to high
school at the end of the summer
was always a gradual process.
Sports practice started several
weeks before classes, you picked
up your books prior to the first
day, and then the first days of
school were half days followed
by a long weekend. But time, at
Eton, is not wasted. I realized immediately that Eton is the sort of
place that does not wait for the
faint of heart. Being here requires
constant focus, dedication and a
willingness to dive headfirst into
the unknown.
So dive I did – I donned my
robes and became a “schoolmaster.” The word I used most
to describe Eton to friends and
family after my first few days
of school was “traditional.”
Traditional in a venerable, historic
way. The uniforms, the robes, the
morning chapel, Chambers, the
unique vocabulary – I could not
walk around the campus without
feeling a great sense of history. I
honestly did not quite know how
to react the first time I walked
down Common Lane to my
schoolroom. I felt a bit like I was
playing the role of “schoolmarm”
in some film. Nothing like Eton
exists in America and I believe
that nothing can really prepare an
American for the tradition that is
Eton, especially one who attended
a high school started by a group
of hippy parents in the 1960s. I
found it impossible to capture
Eton fully in words when writing
emails home. I also found myself
constantly having to translate
my sentences: “F block is for the
youngest year at Eton, where the
boys are age 13… when boys are
in trouble, they are put in the bill,
aka: they go to see the headmaster and are punished… I teach
divs, short for division, what we
call a class… trainers and kit—
athletic shoes and athletic gear
particular to the sport you are
playing.”
Apart from the tradition and
vocabulary, I was also struck by
the boys’ politeness and good
manners here.
“Ma’am.”
A word I now hear so often
that I almost corrected my own
mother over the phone when
she called me “Anna.” In fact, I
laughed out loud when I received
my first email in which I was addressed as “Ma’am.” “Ma’am”
makes me think of my grandmother or an elderly librarian (not
that there is anything wrong with
grandmothers or librarians or the
elderly). I certainly never thought
I would be referred to in that
way until I at least had children
of my own. But that was my first
thought about the boys here, they
are incredibly polite. I was not
expecting boys to stand up when
I entered my div room or ask to
remove their tailcoats.
What also surprised me was
the interest that boys here have
in American culture and politics.
I think I’ve been able to clear up
some stereotypes (for instance,
not all Americans own guns and
“Gossip Girl” is not an accurate
depiction of the typical American
high school) as well as provide
some relevant information about
the American political system. I
did not expect the boys of Eton
to be such huge supporters of
Barack Obama, nor did I expect
to have a whole host of people
with whom to stay up until the
wee hours of the morning on the
night of the American Presidential
election. I am continually impressed with conversations I have
with students; Eton’s boys are not
afraid to ask difficult questions
nor are they afraid to receive difficult answers.
Ultimately, however, the
biggest impression I have had
thus far is that teenage boys in
the UK are not much different
from teenage boys in the United
States. Boys here seem to have
the same interests and concerns
as American boys. Realizing this
common link between US and
UK was transformative—I am no
longer a stranger, but a veritable
Eton beak and happy to call Eton
my home.
““Ma’am” makes
me think of my
grandmother
or an elderly
librarian (not
that there
is anything
wrong with
grandmothers
or librarians or
the elderly)”
21
The Oppidan Wall
!
Chris Meurice (First Wall)
!
Toby Clowes (Second)
!
Paul Raymond (Third)
!
Henry Lebus (Fly)
Jack Hammond (Second Wall)
!
Hugo Cobb (Second Wall)
!
Paddy de Klee (Fourth)
!
Henry Dunn (Lines)
Will May (Second)
!
Sam Kennerley (Third Wall)
!
Rory Collins (Fourth)
!
Bertie Butler (Long)
23
At the Wall
Adrian Hall, author of ‘Hall on the
Wall’, charts the growth of the Wall
Game
I
t is not known when the Wall
Game began. “We will play with
a ball full of wynde” wrote a
boy in the early sixteenth century. Some form of football doubtless ensued, but it was some two
hundred years later in 1717 that
the Wall was built alongside the
Slough Road. By this time the
press of boys playing football (the
form and rules of which are not
known) on College Field meant
that some were confined to the
strip near the Wall, and they soon
found that the Wall itself added
new possibilities and tactics to
their games. It seems likely that
the Wall Game in something
like the form we know it today
evolved in around 1754, though
the first written record of it is not
until 1776. The game was very
informal at this time, and only in
1849 were carefully codified laws
of the game first drawn up and
printed. Since then, they have
undergone many minor revisions
and from time to time fully rewritten: the present code dates
from 2001.
One can imagine the mid
eighteenth century scene with
most probably the more athletic
Collegers playing a form of football on College Field with the
others kicking a ball against the
Wall to pass the time or, perhaps,
while waiting for their turn to
play in the main game. Slowly,
they would agree how their game
should be played, taking advantage of the physical layout of the
Wall and the narrow strip of grass
on which they could play without
interfering with the main game
and deciding how points could be
scored. One is reminded of how
Eton Fives was initially developed
by boys throwing a ball between
the buttresses of College Chapel
while waiting to enter.
The Wall Game was the
principal football game (as opposed to the Field Game) played
by College. The Latin “Hic noster
ludus muralis esto perpetuus”
reflects that the Wall Game was
and is under the jurisdiction of
College, in the form of the Keeper
of College Wall from time to time.
Until the mid 1950’s, the
seventy Collegers were split
into three “games”: College
game, Lower College game and
Chamber game. (Chamber was
the long sub-divided room in
College where new boys had
their “rooms”). Each game would
normally play at the Wall three
or four times a week and every
Colleger developed some degree
of skill. Many must have hated
it but becoming involved was an
activity against which there was
no appeal. With morning school
ending at 11:45, there was time
for a game before Boys’ Dinner at
1:30, as well as in the afternoons.
During the 50’s and 60’s
and up until 1971 when soccer
and rugby were switched from
“It cannot be
said that the
Wall Game is a
good spectator sport”
the Lent to the Michaelmas half,
the Field Game and, to a lesser
extent, the Wall Game dominated sporting activities in the
Michaelmas half. Not only were
there field game scratches, mainly
but not exclusively, on Saturdays,
but Wall Game scratches were
also played but only after the
field games had finished, for
many members of College or
Oppidan Wall played for one of
the Field game teams. It was
not unusual for both Walls to
play four or five scratches during the half and, even before
the St. Andrew’s Day clash, the
Mixed Wall (consisting of the best
players in College and Oppidan
Wall) would join forces to play
a couple of Scratches or so. The
beaks always produced a strong
and knowledgeable scratch which
was played with much vigour and
many OEs took time out to organise scratches which were and still
are always very much appreciated
by boys.
The natural desire of those
running soccer, rugby and rowing teams to produce the best
teams possible for matches
against other schools and Health
and Safety concerns has meant
that there are fewer opportunities for Collegers and Oppidans to
practice and play the Wall game.
However, each boy has the chance
to play in F and E Block should
he want to, but there are many
competing activities at Eton, and
the Wall Game is first choice for
only a few. As was the position in
the Field Game, the Wall Game is
controlled by an “umpire” rather
than a referee. The rules state
that the umpire should not interfere unless appealed to except in
case of violent or dangerous play.
There are few rules and there is
a residue of discretion left to the
umpire to deal with uncovered
situations as they arise.
To play the Wall Game, you
have to know the rules and know
when they are broken in order to
appeal to the umpire. In much
the same way, an Etonian has
to know the rules by which he
should conduct himself and when
he should appeal to a higher
authority. The Wall Game is very
much a team sport and many are
the times a player will create an
opportunity for a player on his
side by sacrificing his own position. Likewise, Eton hopes that
the Etonian will not always put
himself into the lime light but
will hold back, enabling another
to move forward, understanding
when the team rather than the
individual is more important.
It cannot be said that the
Wall Game is a good spectator sport, but for those who are
familiar with the game it is what
is happening within the bully that
is important. Likewise, Eton hopes
that, for the Etonian, it is not the
outward sign of activities that
is important but what is going
on behind the scenes. The swan
looks peaceful as it moves against
the current, but below the surface
it is paddling furiously.
Only occasionally is ground
made in the Wall Game by the
glamorous long kick. Progress in
the Wall Game is made by careful,
hard and continuous team work
in the bully and, once again Eton
hopes that Etonians will be aware
that this will apply to them after
they leave Eton.
The author wishes to acknowledge with thanks the
contribution to this article made
by Francis Gardner (FPEG), OE and
former housemaster.
25
An Appealing
Game
Stepping into ACDG-C’s wellies as
Master-in-Charge of the Wall Game
this half is BJCH
How did you get involved with the
Wall Game?
I first got involved as a new Beak
by playing for GJS’ scratch when
he was Master in College. Typically, when a Beak has agreed to
play once, they are then asked to
take part in nearly every scratch,
which I did for a few years.
ACDG-C then asked me if I would
be willing to help Umpire the St
Andrew’s Day match last year and
to look after the sport whilst he is
away on sabbatical.
How long did it take you to pick
up the rules and nuances of the
game?
It doesn’t take long to pick up
the basic aim of the sport. Once
you have played it a few times
and seen your hard earned field
position eroded by a silly error,
then you quickly learn the main
infringements and how to avoid
them. It is definitely easier to
learn through playing, but anyone with an appreciation of team
sports should be able to pick it
up fairly quickly.
Has the game changed at all in
your time as Umpire and Mi/c?
One of the most important
changes that has occurred in the
time that I have been playing it,
is the willingness of the Umpires
to step in whenever they see an
offence. It used to be the case
that the Umpire would only make
a ruling after an appeal from one
of the players. However, more
recently we as an Umpiring body
have taken the decision that we
will call the game as we see it.
This has meant a reduction in
excessive appealing which, quite
frankly, can get rather tiresome.
Is there a growing sense amongst
Masters that action and incident
is better than attrition and trenchwarfare?
Obviously in relation to the Wall
Game itself, then I would say
that the majority of the Masters
are really only exposed to it on
St Andrew’s Day itself – so probably don’t have that much of an
opinion. When the next goal is
scored, there will no doubt be
much rejoicing and celebration –
but more because it is a once in
a lifetime event and consequently
should be celebrated, not because
the game is perceived as boring.
Is the Wall Game a reflection of
Eton College?
If one is to take the Duke of Wellington’s quote about the Battle of
Waterloo being won on the playing fields of Eton as authentic,
then the game says quite a lot
about the type of school that we
once were; fiercely traditional and
dogged in our approach to all the
obstacles in our path. However,
the school has changed a lot in
the last two centuries and is now
forward-thinking and willing to
embrace all sorts of new ideas.
The survival of the sport is perhaps an indication that whilst we
may have embraced the modern
sporting world – with all of our
élite sporting successes – there is
still a place in the school for the
idiosyncrasies of a sport like the
Wall Game.
Is the Wall Game entirely driven
by nostalgia and a wistful sense
of tradition, or is it still a relevant
and dynamic sport?
The sport that is being played
on St Andrew’s Day is certainly
relevant to the 20 boys playing it
and the hundreds of spectators.
The pomp and ceremony that go
along with the event are full of
tradition and loaded with historical symbolism, but for the boys
playing it for that hour and those
eagerly supporting the respective
sides, it matters as much as any
other sports that they play – if
not more.
Should the Wall Game be exported
to other schools?
I am not sure how many schools
have a wall long enough! However, on a serious note, the Wall
Game has hosted many state
schools eager to see the match
being played and even participate. In the first few weeks
of next Half, we have 50 Sports
Science students from Langley
Park School for Boys in South East
London coming to take part. The
sport is an integral step in the
history of the codification of sport
from medieval mob games to the
governing bodies of today. As
such, it forms a key part of many
A Level Sports Science course – so
we do our best to keep bring that
history alive for those students
studying it.
into not losing, that they are able
to punch well above their weight
every year.
How are 70 Collegers able to fend
off 1000 Oppidans year after year?
Other than strength, what essential skills are needed to succeed?
The obvious answer is that the
game is so static with both teams
playing in a defensive style,
that it doesn’t really matter how
strong the opposition is, they
are unlikely to move the ball the
40 or so meters in 30 minutes
that are required to score. However, there is certainly an extent
to which the Collegers view the
sport as peculiarly their own and
invest so much time and effort
I would say that the essential skill
needed to succeed is a desire to
win. In recent years, teams have
been so focused on not losing
that they are almost unwilling to
try and win. If we see both teams
willing to take the odd gamble,
then today’s match will be a
thrilling prospect.
Why is the Oppidan team typically
made up of rugby players?
The nature of the game certainly
attracts the rugby players in the
school and the boy led selection
probably keeps the balance in
favour of their friends who they
play major sports with week in
and week out. There have been
some excellent footballers who
have made fantastic players of
the game – but the upper body
strength of most rugby players
is probably the reason why they
form the bulk of the team.
27
Squash Review
TA & David Phillips
A
lthough the 1st V may
not have won as many
matches as we would
have liked, particularly
when pitched against strong
opposition such as Harrow and
Epsom, there is plenty of talent
and determination prominent
in all blocks, which keeps the
1st team players on their toes
and suggests that Eton’s squash
future will grow ever brighter over
the next few years.
The current side, consisting of some young guns such as
Pelham (MNF) and Atkinson (NJR),
as well as some injury-stricken
warhorses such as Phillips (CJD),
Pease (MJP) and Montague (PBS)
and Eton’s ready-made hybrid in
the form of Bernstein (CJD) (who
combines youth and experience),
has had a mixed bag of results.
There is no lack in commitment or courage and the attitude
in training has been excellent
throughout, but successful squash
requires courtcraft and guile, for
which experience is no substitute;
a quality which this novice lineup has largely lacked. Victories
over Berkhamsted, Marlborough,
Aylesbury and a cracking 3-2 win
over the wily Masters have compensated for the earlier defeats
and there is no doubt that significant improvement is being registered across the board.
There is also strength and
depth, particularly in E Block,
who could pose an outside threat
in the National Schools U15
competition. Their rapid improvement means that Wilson (AW)
and Ruston (PBS) have been
pushing for places in the 1st and
2nd teams, giving TA, our forever
faithful coach, a few headaches
for team selection. The old hands
will, of course, be fighting hard
to keep these youngsters in their
place.
Twelfth Man
Report
Rupert Cane
T
he Association have continued to struggle this season,
in terms of results if not
performances, but hit back
with a fantastic away win this
week at Aldenham. After my most
recent Chronicle report, the 1st
XI have been involved in some
particularly controversial games,
none more so than the defeat
to QEGS Blackburn in the Second
Round of the ISFA Cup.
Having produced their best
half of the season to date and
taking a goal advantage into the
break (through Ollie Lubbock),
the Association looked set for
a famous away win in deepest,
darkest Lancashire. However, a
dramatic second half saw Eton on
the receiving end of two goals,
and to add insult to injury, two
late red cards. A foul on Hamish
Badenoch (MJLB) outside the
Eton box was rewarded not with
an Eton free-kick but instead a
Blackburn penalty. This highly
contentious decision infuriated
the players and coaches alike,
and swung the momentum back
in the home side’s favour.
Eton suffered a disappointing 3-1 home reverse in the
following game against rivals
Charterhouse. It was always
going to be an uphill struggle
having conceded three goals in
the first forty minutes, but Eton
battled back in the second period and got themselves on the
scoresheet through a header by
Archie Keeling (PJMcK). A 1-1 draw
with Hampton followed as Alex
Gibson (DMG) scored following a
rare attack. Eton’s third successive home game produced a 2-0
reverse, this time Shrewsbury
the opponents. Another defeat
was incurred in a tough game
at Millfield, but the Association
recorded their first win for over
a month at Aldenham. George
Hill (DMG) broke the deadlock
with a fine volley in an otherwise
tight half. Second half goals from
Gibson and Torsten Alexander
(ASR) secured a fantastic victory
and a welcome return to winning
ways for the 1st XI.
The 2nd XI have struggled to
find consistent form this season, and while the results have
been less then perfect, they have
hardly deserved to appear mediocre. With their scorecard showing
4 wins, 3 draws and 3 defeats
they are in need of a strong finish
to the season.
Highlights have included a
victory in a tough away fixture
against Highgate where a final
score of 6-0 did not do justice
to the home team. Two early
goals gave Eton’s second string
confidence and the match remained closely contested until
Dann (PJMcK) and Mooney (MJP)
strengthened the lead, causing
an attacking push by the opposition. With 5 minutes to go Dann
(PJMcK) picked the ball up to
the right of the penalty area and
proceeded to lob their keeper,
staking his claim for Goal of the
Season. He also received Man of
the Match.
Another victory was recorded
against Dr. Challoner’s—Eton got
off to a flying start when some
excellent team passing lead to
Mooney (MJP) delivering a beautiful wrong-footed cross in to
the path of Milne (PJMcK) who
smashed the volley into the back
of the net from just inside the
edge of the penalty area, with
the referee confiding to our coach
after the game that it was the
best team goal that he had seen
as a referee. They came back and
a nervous second-half was rescued by a cool finish from Nieboer
(TEJN). Tidbury collected Man of
the Match for his hard work and
big tackles.
An emphatic scoreline
was recorded against Battersea
Technology College’s first eleven.
A 13-2 thrashing followed, with
Dann (PJMcK), Everton—Wallach
(RPDF) and Mooney (MJP) all
scoring twice, Marcq (WFM) and
Tidbury (NJR) scoring one, in
addition to one own goal. Milne
received MOTM for his 4 goals
(the first hatrick of the season)
and industry at attacking centre
midfield.
Let’s hope that both the 1st
and 2nd XI will be rewarded for
playing such good football this
season with an improvement in
results.
29
I
n April 2007 a then C-Block
girl decided to let the world
know she was having a party
at her house by advertising
it on MySpace, slightly naïvely
hoping for “about 60” of her
dearest friends to turn up for
your best mates out of thin air.
The fact that 2/3 of the Chronicle
editorial team isn’t on Facebook
notwithstanding, the likelihood is
that if you’re planning a massive
do then you just use Facebook
to ‘remind’ yourself of the ‘great
guy’ you met in Corfu that one
time.
The second snag I inevitably
hit was “how does one in fact
invite people to a party without that most vital of tools, the
internet”? The easiest way to
inform people of a party is by
using a Facebook ‘event’ like so
some tom foolery, high jinks and
many other people, because the
general joviality. After more than
people you want to invite will
2,000 turned up in response to
receive the invitation easily, can
the “let’s-trash-the-average-famRSVP straight-away. Moreover, no
ily-house-like-they-do-in-skins”
money or patience is lost through
slogan people had added to this
things like telephone calls or the
MySpace event, she realized there Royal Mail. The days of sendwas a flaw in her plan – the priing invitations to people by post
vacy setting on the webpage.
are almost long gone as very
Recently my parents gave
few people have access to home
me the green light to have a
addresses. The same problem
party for my 18th birthday. I was
applies to email addresses, and
allowed to invite up to 120 peocontacting many people by telple to this thing, which could be
ephone to ask for an address will
in any format (within reason) I
be expensive.
wanted. There was just one conSo I resorted to “The Book” a
dition in the organization of it:
second time and sneakily de“You cannot use Facebook. I cided to use the “inbox” system
won’t have a ‘Scrubs’ [sic] party
to send out messages requestin my house.”
ing people’s addresses secretly.
So the boundaries were
Genius.* However, I didn’t enpretty clear. But first I faced the
tirely think the plan through, as
problem of having to remember
there was the (some would say
all the friends I wanted to come
inevitable) stream of simple girls
to the party. Now this isn’t such
who wrote on my Wall* saying
an issue when planning a dinner
“hey thanks for the partay invite
party for 10 people, but if you are i’ll be there it’s gonna be great
given a list with 120 blank names xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx” and the like.
to fill, this can be a little dauntThe obvious problem that the
ing. It sounds somewhat sad that simple girls posed was the breach
someone seemingly defines who
in security as everyone who went
their friends are by their Facebook on my page knew of a “partay”
buddies, but it is so much easier
and it was only a matter of time
to scroll down a list of people
before they would ask around
and write a guest list than havand find out the details from a
ing to conjure up a Who’s Who of friend. This is how Gatecrashers
The Art of
Book Bashes
Jack Straker
blames Facebook
and offended acquaintances are
born.
This party (which, it turns
out, was an unprecedented success) taught me two things: it is
nigh on impossible to organize
a party using Facebook without
confidentiality being broken; it is
nigh on impossible to organize a
party without using Facebook. I
think that if I was to lay blame on
something for the parties that go
badly wrong today (such as one
Etonian’s party a few years back
with the ‘tagline’ of “get pissed
for free” on its page), it would
fall on society’s near dependence
on electronics, and the fact that
people would rather be glued to
a computer screen using such
terms as “u”, “l8rs”, “lol” etc
than writing an eloquent letter
using that most elusive of tools, a
pen.
*NB for those of you not
aware of the fantastic Facebook
system, the ‘Wall’ is for public
displaying of messages, and so
all your ‘friends’ can see who’s
talking to you and what they’re
jabbering on about. The ‘Inbox’
system is a confidential messaging service that only you and the
recipient of the message can see.
W
hat is arguably the
largest single event
of the school year
took place once again,
very successfully, in School Hall
on the night before Long Leave.
(Suggestions for rival contenders
as ‘largest event’—perhaps the
Eton Action Fair?—are very wel-
Tunes &
Trumpets
DWG recalls the
House Shout
come.) The adjudicator was Bruce
Grindlay, Director of Music at
Christ’s Hospital and no stranger
to such events. The standard was
pretty high, even if not everything
quite came off equally well and
some songs gave more scope
than others to show the potential
of the singers. Overall, as Grindlay
observed, when the Government
is having to support special
programmes in schools and communities in order to encourage
singing amongst the young, having over a thousand boys singing together in groups, carefully
rehearsed, is an impressive—and
in its way moving—phenomenon
for those who care about music.
Battles with technology—the
plugging-in of iPods, the balancing (or not-so-balancing) of
bands with choirs, and indeed the
workings of the band’s equipment
itself - proved to be an intriguing feature of the evening, and
one which occasionally provoked
some restlessness amongst the
audience. I am glad to report no
major disruption: after all, the
least an audience can do in these
situations is to maintain a polite
near-silence, as one would wish
31
for if experiencing a similar situation on stage oneself; however, it
does suggest that the most reliable and straightforward form of
accompaniment may be the good
old piano (replacement value
£90,000 and therefore, you may
be assured, well maintained in
easy and ready working order!)
There was a new format this
year, with harmony performances
now eligible within the competition. Last year, GRP’s sophisticated offering fell, controversially,
foul of the existing rules, and
so it was no surprise that their
offering this year (‘Shine’) once
again contained plenty of harmony singing, and, performed
with polish, it garnered a Highly
Commended. MNF were similarly
Commended for a tight and classy
performance, while College sang
with presence and commitment,
and PBS gave a hearty and upbeat rendition of ‘Build Me Up
Buttercup’.
IH missed out on a cup, but
were rightly Commended for their
rousing ‘Somebody to Love’ (with
well-worked harmony), featuring a highly impressive solo from
Zander Sharp.
It was extremely refreshing (and—I hope—a trail-blazer in
these 21st-century days of wallto-wall pop numbers) to hear
a classical song from PB. Their
Verdi, sung in Italian, was Highly
Commended. Performances by
CJD, JMN and RAAC were effective
and enjoyable in different ways
(JMN with, remarkably, another
year of extravagant air guitar—
how long will this continue?)
while MJLB’s ‘Karma Chameleon’,
accompanied by AP, proved tight
and effective (Commended).
RGGP’s ‘Lola’ was fine.
DMG and AW proved their
credentials as football houses
by impressing not least with
Swimming in
Switzerland
NA and Ant Garland
Opposite from left:
luke birch, ant garland,
conor rowley, george birch
and caspar thorp.
their sheer volume, while PJMcK
certainly managed to remember
a lot of words in ‘Rockstar’ effectively. NCWS, after a technical
hitch, produced a spirited (if not
polished) ‘Pokemon Song’, and
MJP a ‘Stacey’s Mom’ with an effective dynamic range - however,
here and with RJM’s ‘Amarillo’,
balance was an issue. NJR carried off their Disney choice
creditably, announced by Eager
trumpet fanfares, RPDF got going
eventually after their tremendous one-off drum intro, and CMJ
featured, amongst other things,
L
ake Zurich is picturesque;
beautiful houses sitting on
the lake’s edge, and children
playing in the cool water
during the summer heat. The lake
provides a perfect place to spend
a long weekend, where one can
enjoy long walks, sailing, and, of
course, the annual RapperswilZurich Marathon Swim. People of
all ages come to the small town
of Rapperswil to take part in the
scenic, but gruelling, 26.4km race
down the entire length of Lake
Zurich. Where some might enjoy
sunbathing playing in the surf, NA
decided that this would be the
the appearance of the Dutch 18thcentury organ.
So finally, to the cups: they
were won by, once again, RDO-C
(Precentor’s Cup) for their very
focused ensemble-harmony singing and, entering the ranks, ASR,
who rose to the occasion with
‘Don’t Stop Believing’, spurred on
by Sam Ellison’s guitar-playing
(Rackley Cup). Congratulations to
all who took part, and thanks to
IMW and the Music Department,
all House Staff, Pop and Eddie
Winstanley for their logistical
contribution.
perfect vacation for the seniors of
the Eton Swim Team. After a good
season, Luke Birch (IH), George
Birch (JMN), Caspar Thorp (PB),
Ant Garland (AW) and ’08 keeper
Conor Rowley (ex-JMN) seemed to
be in good shape to swim at the
end of June. The swim, however,
was not until the first weekend in
August.
After landing in Zurich
and taking the train down to
Rapperswil, the Eton swimmers
met up with NA and the other
UK competitors. We settled in
and made our way down to the
nearby lido for a quick training
swim to the other side of the lake
and back. Nervous but excited for
the swim, we headed back to the
hotel in good spirits.
The next morning our group
invaded the small supermarket to
stock up for the swim. Bananas
and sandwiches seemed to be
the popular choice, so we loaded
up the bags and deposited them
back in our rooms before heading over to the briefing room to
hear from the race organizers
about the event. Swimmers of all
nationalities signed in and sat
through a short video and presentation about the swim itself.
Relay swimmers are in the water
for an hour at a time before the
next swimmer takes over. George
Birch and Luke Birch would swim
with their father, and with a few
solid training sessions in July
behind them, team “Scorpion”
seemed like a team to watch. In
a team of two, Caspar Thorp and
Anthony Garland had a bit longer
to swim, but team “No You’re The
Monkey!” were up for the challenge. NA was swimming in a
team of 3 with Conor Rowley and
Alison Gault.
After the presentation, and
dressed in our slightly camp blue
race T-shirts, we went for a BIG
feed to make sure we had plenty
of energy and food to burn off
during the swim. MacDonalds
seemed the obvious choice. After
the twenty box of chicken nuggets
(yes, they do boxes of twenty),
two Big Macs and two large fries,
swimming lake Zurich was going
to be easy… well, not that easy.
The alarms went at 5am and
we made our way down to breakfast. At six we went to find our
escort boats, which would follow
close to us as we swam along
the length of the lake. The starting swimmers went to the lido
to begin the race, and at 7.30am
we were off. Amid the thrashing
arms and elbows, Conor Rowley
had a great start, and secured the
lead for the first few hours for his
team. The Birches sat in the middle of the pack, whilst Anthony
and Caspar chased after them. It’s
6km to the first headland, so with
everyone comfortably past it at
the 2 hour mark, we were making
good time. The scenery was beautiful and it was reassuring to see
houses passing as we swam along
the shore, as you can measure
the distance you have covered.
Swimming in the lake was as easy
as swimming in the pool, as there
was little wind, with turquoise
water around you and eerie looking fish below. Anthony started
to feel the pain in the 5th hour,
and it seemed that each headland
passed would just make way for
another, but back on the boat he
found the sandwiches and the
energy drinks helped to get him
back on track for his next leg.
The Birches were making
good time, with George settling
into a good rhythm despite the
absence of his waterproof mp3
player which makes regular appearances at team practice.
NA’s team finished first out
of the Etonian teams, ranking 3rd
out of 21 in the relays category!
Each team swam in to the finish
and was greeted by a charming
lady with a microphone asking
questions about the swim and
handing them finishing medals
and wreaths. The Birches came
in shortly after with a time of 8
hours and 20 minutes, followed
closely by Anthony and Caspar
who came in at 8 hours and 40
minutes.
All competitors were well fed
by the plethora of helpers, and
settled down for the prize giving
before turning back and heading for Rapperswil. After such an
eventful day, we had a quick supper and then a much deserved
early night for all, as swimming
26.4km will drain any energy for
celebration out of most people…
By taking the train along
the edge of the entire lake to the
airport the next morning, what
we had achieved the day before
was put into perspective; we were
all brimming with pride in our
achievement. Despite the hours of
training, pain and exhaustion that
go into it these swims, we can’t
wait for the next one.
33
Drawing Schools
Shaw Stewart B Block
Auer C Block
Money-Coutts ma B Block
1
2
3
4
5
6
7
8
R.C. Seymour F Block
Hunter B Block
A Ryan MS C Block
Sangha C Block
A Ryan MS C Block
A Hammond mi C Block
R MacDonagh mi E Block
R MacDonagh mi E Block
J Nieboer C Block
A Halliday D Block
1
Oakley F Block
2
J.A Graham D Block
3
4
5
7
Miller-Stirling ma D Block
8
6
St Andrew’s Day Exhibtion
Nickols E Block
Quiney KS B Block
ck
ock
ock
Nye E Block
Xerri MS C Block
Xerri MS C Block
7
Faber C Block
J Ireland C Block
Nugent ma C Block
I
t would seem that nothing in
life gains an instant reaction so
much as mentioning the fact
that you went, or go, to school
at Eton. Reactions vary from mild
surprise to clear discomfort, with
common replies ranging from
“Well I’m sure you’re not like the
rest” to those which you wouldn’t
a help in modern society. David
Cameron, whilst not only promising that his children will most
certainly go to state school, has
also rather brushed over his alma
mater, fearing a lingering attachment with it will not bring No.
10 any closer. Whenever Eton is
brought up in the national press,
Alex King considers the rewards and
pitfalls of an Eton reputation
want to repeat any time soon. In
this ambiguous climate, should
one heartily celebrate being an
Etonian, or muffle something
about attending school near
Windsor?
In Euripides’ immortal tragedy, The Medea, the eponymous
character famously calls on Zeus
and asks of him, “Why indeed did
you give clear proof to mankind
of what is fake gold, yet there
is no stamp on the body of men
by which one must identify the
evil man?” However, many of
the public would consider that a
stamp of sorts has indeed been
found: the letters O and E placed
together. Old Etonians will all
testify that often their schooling
can be a hindrance rather than
the inevitable comments about
privilege and unequal opportunity
arise, and often leave an unsavoury taste in the mouth. It often
seems necessary to justify to people why you went to Eton, before
you can even start to justify all
your other faults which undoubtedly spring from your attendance
at the school.
It would be easy to excuse
such thinking as purely envious,
but it must be said that often
Eton’s supposed notorious reputation precedes itself. One does
not need to recall those Etonians
who do a disservice to the school,
whilst the press are quick to jump
to any disreputable figures who
happened to have been here.
With all the pitfalls of being an
Etonian quite apparent, many in
later life may not desire to trumpet their status as an OE, perhaps
even preferring not to mention it.
However, whilst there are
undoubtedly many criticisms
which could be levelled at Eton
and Etonians, there is no mistaking the pride which many feel
quite rightly at being educated
at Eton. Perhaps it is the 560 or
so years of history and heritage
that is being passed on to us, to
which we then add and pass onto
others. Or perhaps the sense of
identity which comes from being
an Etonian, which emboldens us
to strive to higher levels. Eton has
been accused of simply churning
out the same mould of boys who
do not fit in the much vaunted
‘real’ world. But in amongst the
black mass of tailcoats, individuality flourishes, and it is in
finding one’s own niche that one
develops pride in being educated
here. It seems to me that not one
Etonian has the same reason as
another for being proud of the
school—a great accolade to this
institution.
Before this article descends
into mere back-slapping for
Etonians past and present, there
is and always will be the constant
danger that pride in being an
Etonian will turn into arrogance.
But if such a mindset can be
resisted, then one has every right
to be proud of being an Etonian.
It seems as though Medea has
still not found that stamp…
Boyspeak
D
uring my time here I have
noticed that, if nothing
else, the boys of Eton
College are characterized
by big hair. Quite how Murray’s
hairdresser stays in business is
beyond me (no wonder they had
to open the coffee shop as well):
clearly it has not been patronised
by the vast majority of Etonians
with any regularity.
Big hair is clearly back, and
it’s got something to say. As I look
at the crop of fine, thick, carefully
uncultivated manes around me,
it seems to me that an Etonian’s
hair is saying something very
definite about him: ‘I’m cool
(too cool to comb my hair), I’m
smooth and I’m clever.’ Certainly
at Eton, big hair is often accompanied by a certain intellectual
swagger.
I do remember fondly my
own days of intellectual swagger and big hair, which occurred
around my second year of university. Quite on what concrete
evidence I based my own assessment of myself as one of
great minds of the modern age
is difficult to say: to say that my
academic results were mediocre
would, I fear, be extremely unfair
to those who were genuinely mediocre; I was some way beneath
that.
In my mind, however, there
were several clear indications
of my academic brilliance, even
if it was not discernible in my
results or readily apparent to my
teachers. I knew that I was clever
because I had shoulder length
hair along withh a Che Guevara
goatee, a tobacco pipe (like a
recent American president I claim
never to have inhaled—I puffed
on it purely for effect) and I made
frequent use of the words ‘dialectical’ and ‘deconstruction’, very
often in the same sentence.
PAH talks hairstyles. We
couldn’t get AP
I had an image which sought
to convey to the world that I was
sophisticated, radical and clever.
I was none of those. How sadly
deluded I was. Sad and deluded
I may have been, but I certainly
was not – and am not – unique.
For if you watch people in this
school community, both pupils
and beaks, you will notice that
each one of us have ways of
constructing a particular social
identity – the way we talk, walk,
dress, hold ourselves, address
other people (or indeed don’t
address them): all of these are
the ways in which we express the
way we perceive our status, the
way we see ourselves in relation
to others.
Beakspeak
Of course success and status
are not inherently wrong – and
indeed in many cases should (like
big hair) be vigorously pursued.
Eton is a place where many able
people achieve extraordinary
things. The problems arise when
we fail to see that status is not
an end in itself. If beneath the
veneer and the image we seek to
project, there lies no substance
and no humility, then true knowledge of self – and with it fulfilment – will always elude us.
The ultimate purpose of our
lives within this community is
not to be found in achieving the
greatest possible status within
it, but in seeking to serve it and
indeed those beyond it. Any
perceived rank we have in the
school’s social and intellectual
hierarchy is merely illusory unless
underpinned by the willingness to
serve others.
I still think the shoulder
length was cool, though…
37
The Jackal
T
he Jackal was concerned to
see the CCF in such dwindling numbers the other
day, and feared that the
age-old tradition of being shouted
at by short men with big badges
and the special Sunday outings to
play in the mud was approaching
its end. He was relieved to find
out that the men in uniform were
not in fact members of the Corps,
but the five people who attended
the Wellington Society.
The Jackal is pleased about
the progress that other ‘school
magazines’ have made this year
and has to say that while The
Chronicle’s articles are much
more intellectually challenging,
he doesn’t like its print quality:
he admires instead the texture of
The Arts Review—thin, soft, and
absorbent.
While the Jackal’s interest
in the Wall Game only goes as
far as pushing F Blockers off the
Wall into the scrum, never to
be seen again, he must say his
support has been earned by the
Oppidans this year, whose tasteful
and witty team-sheet really takes
the biscuit. He looks forward to
joining the fans, whose ingenious
chants are a joy to hear. Such
originality and spontaneity is a
rare thing indeed.
It looks like the Jackal’s
comments about College Chapel’s
administration have sparked a
large reaction from its bouncer,
who has strangely responded by
trying to keep boys out of chapel
instead of ushering them inside.
Surely this will only add to an
already apparent absence of boys
in chapel?
As an avid geologist, the
Jackal went with some of his
rock hound pals from Cannon
Yard to the Rock Society, and was
shocked that this misnomer was
in fact a group of mods—who
barely examined anything of petrological interest—listening to live
music.
The Jackal is pleased that he
is above such trivial matters as
universities, because he observes
that Oxbridge hopefuls seem to
spend an inordinate amount of
time working towards that unique
honour which only one in four
boys per year at Eton achieve:
he has calculated that in each
Michaelmas half boys can spend
as many hours in preparation
for this as they do playing sport,
practising music and sleeping
combined.
The build-up to Guy Fawkes
Night aroused the Jackal’s interest
somewhat, and so he decided to
indulge in watching some of the
various fireworks displays very
considerately put on by some of
the boys’ houses in their Quiet
Hour. He was, however, surprised
by the sheer volume of some of
the explosions on the night of
the Fifth, and he later learned
that it was due to the gunfire etc.
from the showdown between the
Slough Massif and the Windsor
Posse. They had planned to hold
the event on Mesopotamia, but
had to resort to the Field because
the fallout from the Association
vs Shrewsbury 1st XI game had
not been cleared and thus Health
and Safety deemed the pitch too
unsafe to brawl on.
39
Editors:
Daryl Cheng
Jack Straker
Alex Wright
master-in-charge:
gdm
literary advisor:
mja
With thanks to:
george quiney, RF, Leo
Barnes, Adrian Hall, bjch &
smmcp.
Cover photos:
Front - Justin Chan
back - eddie pease and fred
wonnacott.
Opinions expressed in The
Chronicle do not necessarily reflect official school
sentiment.

No. 4089 - Eton College

Transcription

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