Management of Marriage Event

Transcription

www.spandane.com
Management of Marriage Event
Compiled by Spandane
www.spandane.com
www.spandane.com
Index - Management of Marriage Event
Sr. No.
Topic
00
Marriage Event Preface
01
Marriage Agreement
02
Marriage Reception Invitation List
03
Marriage Dinner Menu
04
Marriage Expenses – Category wise
05
Invitation
06
Invitation -1
07
Marriage Expenses – Budget & Actual
08
Marriage Decision Tree
09
Match Making & Happy Married Life
10
Marriage Expectations & Opinions
11
Match Making
12
Married Life
13
Predictions about Child
14
Tips for establishing & improving Relationship
15
Behaviour Therapy for would be Brides
16
Behaviour Therapy for would be Bridegrooms
17
Three Stages of Marriage
18
Hard Facts about Marriage
19
Love Marriage
www.spandane.com
Management of Marriage Event Preface
It is said that ‘Marriage Knots’ are tied in the ‘heaven’ but executed on ‘earth’.
Marriage is one of the most important events in the life of every person. It is often said
jokingly that ‘Marriage is such a ‘Ladoo’ that whosoever eats the said Ladoo repents as
much as who does not eat.’
Joke apart. Marriage brings two families together. It also brings tension, more so for
bride’s parents.
This has prompted me to compile notes on this event. I had the experience of
executing marriage functions of my two elder brothers when I was in my twenties.
I also used this experience in co-coordinating marriage functions in my family.
One may recall character of ‘Narayan’ described by Late Shri P. L. Deshpande.
(Well known Marathi Author) after viewing this section.
The success of this event largely depends on clear decision making on various issues
and maintaining transparency with other family. All management principles such as
Planning, decision making, delegation, control and review have role to play in this
event.
I hope that various documents prepared in this section will serve as guide post to you.
I do not claim that this is the exhaustive planning of marriage event. However I have
made an attempt and tried to cover the basic facts. Your suggestions are most welcome.
You can send email to [email protected].
Best of Luck!!!!
Best wishes from Spandane
Sudhir Vaidya
Monday, August 09, 2010
EaI gajaanana p`sannaÊ EaI laxmaI naRisaMh p`sanna
01 ⁄ id.
raojaI ivavaahacyaa baOzkImaQyao zrvaavayaacyaa gaaoYTI.
varacao naava – ica.
vaQaUcao naava – ica.
1. ivavaah kaoNa%yaa pwtInao krNao.
2. ivavaahacaI tarIKÊ vaarÊ itqaIÊ mauhut-.
3. ivavaahsqaL ¹
4. puraoihtaMcaI naavao ¹
5. maulaacao va maulaIcao dovak zovaNaaraMcaI naavao ¹
6. saaKrpuDyaacaI tarIKÊ mauhUt- ¹
7. doNaI – GaoNaIÊ maanapana yaasaMbaMQaI cacaa- ¹
ÈÈ EaI ÈÈ
saaKrpuDa va ivavaah yaasaazI varpxaakDUna krNyaat yaoNaa–yaa gaaoYTI.
1. saaKrpuDyaasaazI vaQaUlaa saaDIÊ blaa}jaÊ prkr tsaoca AMgazI GaotlaI jaa[-la. mau#ya 4 À 5 maaNasaaMcao maana
kolao jaatIla. ³Alp ´
2. ivavaahacao vaoLI vaQaUlaa maMgaLsaU~Ê naoklaosaÊ kanaatlao Asao saumaaro
ga`^ma saaonyaacao daiganao GaalaNyaat
yaotIla. tsaoca
jarIcyaa saaDyaaÊ SaalaU Ê blaa}jaÊ prkr ³ iSalaa[-sah ´ GaalaNyaat yao[-la.
3. mauulaacyaa baajaUnao ivavaahacyaa vaoLI haoNaa–yaa Qaaima-k ivaQaIMcaa Kca- gau$jaIMnaa ivacaa$na saaMigatlyaavar idlaa
jaa[-la.
4. inamaM~Napi~ka tsaoca yaoNao jaaNao ³ p`vaasa ´ yaacaa Kca- p`%yaokanao svatM~ kravaa.
5. maulaIkDIla mau#ya maaNasaaMcao maana %yaaMcyaa saaMgaNyaap`maaNao zrvaUna kolao jaatIla.³ yaqaaSa@tI ´
6. vyaahIjaovaNa maulaacao GarI zrvaUna krNyaat yao[-la. %yaavaoLI maulaIcao Aa[-Ê vaDIlaÊ Baa} yaaMcaa maana krNyaat
yao[-la.
2
ÈÈ EaI ÈÈ
saaKrpuDa va ivavaah yaaMsaazI vaQaUpxaakDUna Apoixat gaaoYTI.
1. saaKrpuDyaasaazI ha^laÊ gau$jaIÊ Alpaophar sava- vyavasqaa va %yaasaazI haoNaara Kca- kravaaÊ %yaaidvaSaI maulaalaa
AMgazI va SaT- dyaavaa. tsaoca maulaakDIla mau#ya 4 À 5 maaNasaaMcao maana kravaot. ³
maaNasao yaotIla.´
2. ivavaahasaazI maulaIlaa
daiganao ³ AMdajao
ekvaarI yaacaa Kca- dyaavaa.
ga`^ma saaonyaacyaa ´ kravao. tsaoca maMgaLsaU~atIla 2 maNaI va
3. ivavaahasaazI ha^laÊ koTrsa-Ê gau$jaI yaaMcaI saMpUNa- vyavasqaa va Kca- kravaa. sakaLI maulaakDUna
saumaaro
maaNasao yaotIla va svaagatsamaarMBaasaazI saumaaro
maaNasao AsatIla. %yaaMcaI sava- vyavasqaa
kravaI. daonhI vaoLcaa maonaU ekmaokaMcyaa saMganamatanao zrvaavaa.
4. svaagatsamaarMBaacyaa paoSaaKasaazI maulaalaa
hjaar $pyao va vardixaNaa mhNaUna
5. maulaacaI Aa[-Ê vaDIlaÊ %yaaMcao jaava[- va CaoTI naat tsaoca
kakaÊ
krvalyaaÊ
maavaSyaa yaa savaa-Mcao maana kravaot. ³ yaqaaSa@tI ´
kakU Ê
$. dyaavaot.
maamaaÊ
maamaIÊ
6. vaajaM~I sana[-Ê caaOGaDa tsaoca faoTaoÊ ivhiDAaoSauiTMga yaaMcaI vyavasqaa kravaI. ³ haOSaIp`maaNao ´
7. ivavaahacyaa idvaSaI $Kvat jamaola tsao maaMDavao. %yaamaQyao kaca saamaana va sTIlacaI BaaMDI Aijabaat nakao.
8. maulaIsaazI mauhut-maNaIÊ jaaoDvaIÊ ivaKlyaa kravyaat.
9. saaKrpuDa va ivavaah daonhI idvaSaI laagaNaaro harÊ poZoÊ Axata hLdIkuMkU yaaMcaI vyavasqaa kravaI.
10.gàhmaK va koLvaNa p`%yaokanao svatM~ kravao.
EaI [-SvarkRponao ivavaahacaa zrlaolaa ha SauBasamaarMBa daonhI baajaUMnaI ekmaokaMcyaa sahkayaa-nao AanaMdat par paDavaa.
raga ¹ $savao TaLavaot.
baOzk yaSasvaI JaalaI.
baOzkIlaa hjar AsaNaa–yaaMcyaa sa*yaa.
kLavao Aa. snaohaMikt
02 / Invitation List - Marriage Reception on
Sr.
No.
A
Name
Telephone
No. of
persons
RSVP
Date
Telephone
No. of
persons
RSVP
Date
Father’s Relatives &
Friends:
1
2
3
4
5
6
7
8
9
10
11
12
13
14
15
16
17
Total
Sr.
No.
B
Name
Mother’s Relatives /
Friends:
1
2
3
4
5
6
7
8
9
10
11
12
13
14
15
16
17
Total
59
2
Sr.
No.
C
1
2
3
4
5
6
7
8
9
10
11
12
13
14
15
16
17
Name
Telephone
No. Of
persons
RSVP
Date
Telephone
No. Of
persons
RSVP
Date
Neighbours:
Total
Sr.
No.
D
Name
Son’s friends, colleagues
etc.
1
2
3
4
5
6
7
8
9
10
11
12
13
14
15
16
17
Total
3
E
Daughter’s friends,
colleagues etc.:
1
2
3
4
5
6
7
8
9
10
11
12
13
14
15
16
17
Total
03 / Marriage Reception on
Sr.
No.
1
2
3
4
5
6
7
8
9
10
11
12
Category
(Dinner Menu)
@ Rs.
Per head
Welcome Drink
Starter
Sweets
Indian Bread
Farsan
Gujarati Vegetable
Punjabi Vegetable
Dal-Kadhi
Rice
Salad
Curd Raita
Ice cream
Mineral Water
Suggested Menu
Kala Khatta
Cheese Corn Ball
Gulab Jamun, Shrikhand
Phulka Roti, Puri
Dahi Vada
Panner Butter Masala
Tava Bhaji
Dal Fry
Jeera Fried Rice
Green Salad, Alu Chat
Bundi Raita
Hot Chocolate with vanilla
20 Liter Jar
Other Arrangement
Sr.
No.
1
2
3
4
5
6
7
Rs.
Series Light
Stage
Raja Rani Chairs & 2 Sofa sets
Stage Background
Gate Toran
Video Shooting
Photographer
04 / Marriage Expenses ( Marriage on
Sr.
No.
1
2
3
4
5
6
7
8
9
10
11
12
13
14
15
16
17
18
19
20
21
22
23
24
25
26
27
28
29
30
31
32
33
Date
Particulars
Bank/Cash
Paid by
Total
Rs.
& Reception on
Gold
Orn.
Bride
Groom
BG’s
Family
Bride
)
Bride’s
Family
Marriage
& Reception
Misc.
Presents
2
34
35
36
37
38
39
41
42
43
44
45
46
49
50
51
52
53
54
55
56
57
58
59
60
61
62
63
64
65
66
Gross Marriage expenses
Less Cash Presents recd.
Net Marriage expenses
3
Sr.
No.
Date
Misc. Particulars
Total Misc. Expenses
Bank/Cash
Paid
by
Total
Rs.
Hotel
Exp.
Conv.
Honey
moon
Advocate
Notary
Donation
Invitation
cards
Photos
“Shree Ganesh Prasanna”
Mrs. Smita & Mr. Shreyas Naravane solicit your
blessings
and request the pleasure of your company
at the reception & Dinner to
celebrate the wedding of their son
Vijay
&
Vijaya
(daughter of Mrs.& Mr. Ramchandra Pethe)
On
Friday 30-06-2008
Venue:
Mega Marriage & Party Hall
Fine Tiles Compound, Near Gokhale School,
Shimpoli Road, Borivali-west,
Mumbai-400092
Reception & Dinner: 6.30 p.m. to 9.30 p.m.
[[Shree Gajanan Prasanna]]
We solicit your blessings and invite you
To share in the joy of beginning
Of our new Life together
On
Friday 30-06-2008
Venue:
Mega Marriage & Party Hall
Fine Tiles Compound, Near Gokhale School,
Shimpoli Road, Borivali-west,
Mumbai-400092
Reception & Dinner: 6.30 p.m. to 9.30 p.m.
Sau. Vijaya & Vijay Naravane
07 / Marriage Expenses – Budget & Actual Expenses.
Sr. No.
1
2
3
4
5
6
7
8
9
10
11
Expenses
Engagement expenses
Gold Ornaments
Bride groom’s shopping
Bride groom’s Family shopping
Bride’s shopping
Bride’s Family shopping
Marriage expenses
Reception expenses
Presents to relatives & friends
Misc.
Honey moon expenses
Total
Less: Presents Received in Cash
Net Expenses
Actual
Budget
08-Marriage Decision Tree
Sr. No.
1.0
1.1
1.2
1.3
1.4
1.5
1.6
1.7
1.8
1.9
1.10
1.11
1.12
Decisions & Activity
Marriage Knot:
To make horoscope of bride / bride groom.
To consult astrologer regarding marriage
prediction.
To decide on expectations such as education,
service, height, age etc. of bride / bride
groom.
To confirm from bride / bride groom that
they are not in love. (Very imp.)
To register the name with Marriage websites, Marriage counsellor etc.
Whether horoscope should be matched?
To arrange get to together programme.
To execute marriage agreement.
Detailed marriage rituals or Vaidik pattern?
Or registered marriage by 30 Days notice
under Special Marriage Act.
To make Marriage expenses budget.
To make Financing of marriage expenses.
To record Marriage actual expenses on day to
day basis.
Responsibility
Remarks
Engagement:
Small function of close family members or
big function?
Number of guests?
List of guests to be finalized.
Time-Morning /Evening, Muhurata?
Location-Residence or Party Hall?
Part Hall-AC or Non-AC?
Booking the hall.
Menu? Breakfast or Lunch /Dinner?
To appoint Catering Contractor?
To convey final number of likely guests to
Catering Contractor.
Responsibility
Remarks
1.13
1.14
1.15
Sr. No.
2.0
2.1
2.2
2.3
2.4
2.4
2.5
2.6
2.7
2.8
2.9
2
2.10
2.11
2.12
Shopping: Ring, Suit, Sarees etc.
Priest’s appointment to be sought.
Other arrangements such as:
Welcome drink
Sweets
Decoration
Photographer (No. of Photos to be specified)
Flowers
Conveyance arrangement
Arrangement for make up?
2.13
2.14
2.15
2.16
Engagement Invitations to be sent.
Sr. No.
3.0
3.1
3.2
3.3
3.4
3.5
3.6
3.7
3.8
3.9
3.10
3.11
3.12
3.13
3.14
Gold Ornaments:
Approx. weight of Gold ornaments.
Type of ornaments-Bangles, neck lace, ear
rings, Mangalsutra, chain etc.
Ornaments to be made as per order or to be
purchased ready made?
Whether entire Gold is to be purchased?
Whether old gold to be used / exchanged?
Jeweller?
Fixing Time, day etc. for visit to Jeweller.
Whether shopping to be done in cash or on
credit card?
To make necessary arrangement of cash.
To take delivery of gold ornaments.
To ensure safety of gold ornaments and
taking them to marriage hall.
Responsibility
Remarks
3
Sr. No.
4.0
4.1
4.2
4.3
4.4
4.5
4.6
4.7
4.8
4.9
4.10
4.11
4.12
Sr. No.
5.0
5.1
5.2
5.3
5.4
5.5
5.6
5.7
5.8
5.9
5.10
5.11
Bride groom’s shopping:
To decide on clothes, suits, casual wear,
shoes, wrist watch and other ancillary etc.
To decide the shop, mall etc. for shopping.
Whether suit to be stitched or ready made?
credit card?
Trial with Tailor.
To take delivery of clothes.
To pack the clothes in a separate bag.
Responsibility
Remarks
Bride groom’s Family shopping:
To decide on clothes, suits, sarees, casual
wear, shoes, wrist watch and other ancillary
etc.
credit card?
Trial with Tailor.
Responsibility
Remarks
4
Sr. No.
6.0
6.1
6.2
6.3
6.4
6.5
6.6
6.7
6.8
6.9
6.10
6.11
6.12
Sr. No.
7.0
7.1
7.2
7.3
7.4
7.5
7.6
7.7
7.8
7.9
7.10
7.11
Bride’s shopping:
To decide on Sarees, Punjabi suits, casual
wear, matching bangles and other ancillary
etc.
Whether Punjabi suits to be stitched or ready
made?
credit card?
Trial with Tailor.
To take delivery of sarees after fall & bidding
etc.
Responsibility
Remarks
Bride’s Family shopping:
To decide on clothes, suits, sarees, casual
wear, shoes, wrist watch and other ancillary
etc.
credit card?
Trial with Tailor?
Responsibility
Remarks
5
Sr. No.
8.0
8.1
8.2
8.3
8.4
8.5
8.6
8.7
8.8
8.9
8.10
Marriage day:
To fix day? Muhurata?
Number of guests?
Booking the hall.
Menu? Breakfast or Lunch-Dinner?
Priest’s appointment to be sought.
Other arrangements such as:
Welcome drink
Sweets
Decoration
Photographer, Video shooting etc.
(No. of Photos to be specified)
Flowers
Responsibility
Remarks
Responsibility
Remarks
8.11
8.12
8.13
Sr. No.
9.0
9.1
9.2
9.3
9.4
9.5
9.6
9.7
9.8
Reception:
To fix day? Same day of marriage or some
other day?
Number of guests?
Booking the hall.
Menu? Breakfast or Lunch-Dinner?
6
9.9
Other arrangements such as
Welcome drink
Sweets
Decoration
Photographer, Video shooting etc.
(No. of Photos to be specified)
Flowers
9.10
To depute responsible person to accompany
bride / bride groom for collecting presents.
9.11
9.12
9.13
Sr. No.
10.0
10.1
10.2
10.3
10.4
10.5
10.6
10.7
10.8
10.9
10.10
10.11
10.12
Presents to relatives & friends:
Whether presents to be given?
If yes, To whom? List to be made.
Monetary Range for Presents.
Whether resents to be given in kind or cash?
If presents to be given in kind, make list of
items to be purchased.
To decide shop, mall etc. for shopping.
To carry out shopping.
If presents to be given in cash, prepare
envelopes.
To pack the presents in a separate bag.
Responsibility
Remarks
7
Sr. No.
11.0
11.1
¾
¾
¾
¾
¾
¾
¾
¾
11.2
11.3
11.4
11.5
11.6
11.7
11.8
11.9
11.10
Miscellaneous arrangements:
Printing of Invitation cards:
To be printed in Marathi, English or
both?
Make list of invitees with addresses.
Make list of invitees to whom card will
be posted.
Prepare covering letter in case
invitation card is to be sent by post /
courier.
Number of cards to be printed?
Format of invitation card?
Invitation by parents or invitation by
marriage couple?
To contact Printing Press.
Whether RSVP reply card to be sent?
To purchase postage stamps.
To prepare invitation envelopes with
RSVP card, affixing postage stamps or
finalize arrangement with courier.
To post invitation cards.
To make telephonic reminders to
guests.
Tourist Taxi / Bus etc. to be booked.
To carry following bags containing:
Gold ornaments
Bride groom’s shopping:
Bride groom’s Family shopping:
Bride’s shopping:
Bride’s Family shopping:
Presents to relatives & friends:
Other items prescribed by Priest.
To make list of presents not given due
to non attendance by guests.
To decide whether presents to be
delivered to their residence?
To make list of presents received.
To deposit the cash in bank or use for
settlement of bills?
To settle the bills of:
Priest
Responsibility
Remarks
8
Catering Contractor
Photographer
Car hire
Make up
Shopping (If on credit card)
11.11
11.12
11.13
11.14
11.15
11.16
11.17
11.18
Sr. No.
12.0
12.1
12.2
12.3
12.4
12.5
12.6
12.7
To claim refund of deposit from
Marriage hall.
To make return journey arrangement
of relatives, guests etc.
To collect Album, CD etc. from
Photographer.
To register the marriage under
‘Bombay Marriage Act’ within 30 days
by filing Form D–Memorandum of
Marriage. The said form is to be signed
by Priest. Bride, bride groom and two
witnesses should sign the said form in
presence of Registrar of Marriages.
Address proof, photo identity of all
these persons is required to be
submitted to Registrar.
To collect the Marriage certificate.
Honey Moon:
To decide Location.
To decide Mode of transport.
To decide Number of days stay.
Travel trough Travel company or
independent arrangement to be made?
Booking:
Hotel
Journey (to & fro)
To carry Cash, ATM card, Credit card
Hotel booking, tickets, telephone diary
etc.
Responsibility
Remarks
9
ÈÈ EaI gaNaoSa p`sanna ÈÈ
9 ivavaah – gauNa – maolana pwit
ivavaah jamaivatanaa f@t gauNa saM#yaa 18 poxaa jaast AsalaI Aqavaa 28 Ê 30 Ê, 32 gauNa jamalao mhNajao ivavaah – saaohLa
sauKkark haotaoca Asao naahI. ik%yaok vaoLa gauNa saM#yaa 30 Agar 30 cyaa var jamaUna sauwa ivavaahao<ar ADcaNaI yao}na ivavaah
sauKat vaOgauNya yaoto. vaastivak jyaaoitYa Saas~ tsaM baGaayalaa gaolaM tr farca i@laYT Aaho. %yaatUna jyaaoitYa BaivaYya kqana
krNaara ittkaca vaacaaisaiw Asalaolaa hvaa mhNaUnaca AamhI jyaaoitYa kqana krNaaro jyaaoitYa drraoja 21 vaoLa gaNapit –
Aqava-iSaYa- mhNaUna jyaaoitYa kqanaat sau$vaat krtao. Asaao.
hllaIMcyaa QakaQakIcyaa jaIvanaat va vaQau – var ]cca iSaixat AsaUna sauwa %yaaMcao palak va svat: vaQau – var Aapaplyaa pi~ka
jyaaoitYaalaa daKvaUna gauNa – maolana krvaUna Gaotat. pNa p`%yaok vaoLolaa jyaaoitYaI Aaplyaa hakovar Asaolaca AsaM naahI. *yaa
saazI tumha palak maMDLIMnaa jyaaoitYaaMcaI manaQaarNaI kravaI laagato. jasao Aaplyaa maulaacao ÀmaulaIcao saaQaarNa Daoko duKt Asaola
tr tumhI lagaoca Da^@TrkDo Qaava Gaot naahI. Garat ËaosaIna Aqavaa t%sama gaaoLI Gao}na ta%purta [-laaja k$na Gaota. tsaoca
jyaaoitYaakDo lagaoca Qaava na Gaota tumhI svat: Aaplyaa palyaacyaa pi~kocao gauNa maolana ka baro k$ nayao Æ haca ]VoSa laxaat
Gao}na maI ek jyaaoitYaI *yaa naa%yaanao tumha sava- palakaMnaa vaQau – varaMnaa jaujabaI gauNa – maolanaacao iSaxaNa do}na svat:cyaa payaavar
]BaM krNyaacaa pàmaaiNak p`ya%na krIt Aaho.
vaQau – varaMcaI pi~kot puZIla gaaoYTI tpasaavyaa laagatat jasao.
1 ) raSaI – maO~I 2 ) ga`h maO~I 3 ) naxa~ maO~I 4 ) gaNa 5 ) naaDI 6 ) yaaonaI
7 ) maulaIcyaa kuMDlaIt riva – maMgaL va SauË ga`h sauisqaitt Asaavaoo tr maulaacyaa kuMDlaIt caMd` −SauË va sap`maoSa mhNajaoca ivavaah
sauKacaa kark ga`h sauuisqaitt Asaavaa.
8 ´ maulaalaa À maulaIlaa maMgaL tr naahI naa Æ
9 ´ ivavaah sqaana mhNajaoca saPt`ma sqaana “ papkt-rI ’’ yaaogaat tr naahI naa Æ
10´ ivavaah sauKacyaa kark gàhavar mhNajaoca saPt`maoYaavar pap ga``hacaI _YTI tr naahI naa Æ
11 ´ ivavaah sauKacaa kark ga`h “ SauË ’’ “ papkt-rI ’’ yaaogaat Aqavaa pap ga`h _YT tr naahI naa Æ tsaoca maUL kuMDlaIt
jar SauË knyaa yaa naIca raSaIt Asata ivavaah sauK caaMgalao imaLt naahI.
12 ´ ivavaahao<ar papga`hacaI mahadSaa Aqavaa kuMDlaIt 6 – 8 – 12 *yaa sqaanaI AsaNaa–yaa raSaI – svaamaIcaI mahadSaa tr naahI
naa Æ yaoqao ek gaaoYT saaMgaaivaSaI vaaTto kI maUL kuMDlaIt 6 – 8 – 12 hI ASaUBa sqaanao jyaaoitYa Saas~at gaRiht QarlaI
Aahot. *yaa sqaanaaMcao svaamaI pNa to kuNaIih Asaaot³ caMd` − gau$ − SauËasaarKo SauBa ga`h Asaaot´ to ga`h %yaaMcyaa mahadSaot
caaMgalaI fLo dot naahIt.
13 ´ saPt`maoYa– ivavaah sauKacaa kark ga`h 6 – 8 – 12 sqaanaI Asata jaaoDIdarapasaUna ivavaah sauKacyaa Apoxaa k$ nayao.
14 ´ 6 – 7 – 8 *yaa sqaanaI jaastIt jaast papga`h nasaavaot.
ASaa iktItrI gaaoYTI pahUna magaca pi~kocao gauNa maolana kravao Anyaqaa 18 poxaa jaast gauNa jamaUna sauwa puZo vaOvaaihk jaIvanaat
kahI ivaprIt GaDNyaacaI Sa@yata Aaho. Aro hao || hao – qaaMbaa varIla sava- gaaoYTI tumacyaa Dao@yaava$na gaolyaa naa Æ m
hNaUnaca tr maI tumhalaa varIla p`%yaok gaaoYTIcao sahja – saaoPyaa BaaYaot sPaYTIkrNa doNyaacaa p`ya%na krIt Aaho.
2
1 ´ raSaI maO~I : −
puZo 12 raSaI va %yaaMcao svaamaI kaoNa kaoNa Aahot to idlao Aaho.
1 ´ isaMh – riva maalak 2 ´ kk- − caMd` maalak 3 ´ maoYa va vaRiScak – maMgaL maalak 4´ imaqaUna va knyaa – bauQa maalak
5 ´ Qanau va maIna – gau$ maalak 6 ´ vaRYaBa va tulaa – SauË maalak 7 ´ makr va kuMBa – SanaI maalak.
riva va caMd` yaaMnaa f@t ekca raSaI idlaI Aaho. baakI maMgaL – bauQa – gau$ − SauË – SanaI *yaa savaa-Mnaa daona daona raSaIMcao
svaamaI%va bahala krNyaat Aalao Aaho.
−− : ga`haMcao – Sa~Uima~%va : −−
ga`h
riva
caMd`
maMgaL
bauQa
gau$
SanaI
rahU
kotU
ima~
caMd` Ê maMgaL Ê gau$
riva – bauQa
riva Ê caMd` Ê gau$
riva Ê SauË
riva Ê caMd` Ê maMgaL
bauQa – SauË
gau$ Ê SauË Ê SanaI
Sa~U
SanaI – SauË
*yaalaa Sa~u naahI
bauQa
caMd`
bauQa Ê SauË
SauË – SanaI
Aata varIla t@yaatUna vaQau – varaMcao gauNa – maolana krtanaa jar vaQaucaI rasa isaMh – ³ svaamaI riva ´ va varacaI rasa kuMBa
³ svaamaI SanaI ´ tr ga`h maO~I nasalyaamauLo *yaa daoGaaMcao ekmaokaMSaI pTNaar naahI va puZo vaOvaaihk jaIvanaat taNa – tNaava
rahIla. ]dahrNa mhNaUna varacaI rasa kuMBa va QainaYza naxa~ va vaQaucaI rasa isaMh maGaa naxa~ 23.5 gauNa jamaUna sauwa ivavaah k$
naka Asaa inaNa-ya idlaa Aaho.
pha ASaI Anaok ]dahrNao dota yaotIla tovha tumhalaa vaQau – var gauNa maolana krta yao[-la. ³ iTp – puZo gauNa – maolana krtanaa
maI mauVamaca vaQaucaI rasa isaMh va varacaI rasa kuuMBa ilahUna p`%yaxa gauNa maolanaacyaa inarinaraLyaa gaaoYTI tpasatanaa tumhI %yaa ksaaoTyaa
kSaa laavaavyaat to ilaihNyaacaa p`ya%na krIt Aaho. ´
2´ ga`h – maO~I : − punha vaQaucaI rasa isaMh va varacaI rasa kuMBa. isaMh raSaIcaa svaamaI riva va kuMBa raSaIcaa svaamaI SanaI.
varIla ga`haMcao Sa~Uima~%va t%vaacaa ]pyaaoga k$na rivacyaa SanaI Sa~U mhNaUna ga`h maO~I nasalyaamauLo vaQau – varacao jaIvanaat vaOr inamaa-Na
hao}na vaOvaaihk jaIvanaat taNa – tNaava inamaa-Na hao[-la.
3 ´ naxa~ maO~I : − jaSaI ga`hmaO~I – raSaI maO~I Asata vaOvaaihk jaIvana sauKkr jaato tsaoca naxa~ maO~I sauwa AsaavaI laagato
maga tumhI jar jyaaoitYa Saas~at AnaiBaV ²² tumhalaa kSaI samajaNaar naxa~ maO~I Æ Gaaba$ naka ² tumhI tumacyaa palyaacaI
³ maulagaa À maulagaI ´ ka^mpITr kuMDlaI k$na Gyaa va %yaa kuMDlaIt “ taracaË ’’ mhNaUna ek t@ta Aaho %yaat varcyaa baajaUlaa
“ janma Ê saMpi<a Ê ivapt – xaoma Ê p`%yarI Ê saaQak Ê vaQa Ê maO~I Ê AaGI– maO~I va %yaaKalaI naxa~ idlaolaI Asatat.
%yaa t@tava$na tumhalaa naxa~maO~I kLU Sakola.´
4 ´ gaNa : − ekUNa 3 gaNa Aahot. manauYya Ê dova Ê raxasa gaNa.
dovagaNa – manauYya gaNa Ê Aqavaa raxasa gaNa ekmaokaMnaa caalau Saktao.
manauYya gaNa – raxasa gaNa : ho vaOr daKivalao mhNaUna ivavaahalaa %maajya zrto.
ek gaNa mhNajao manauYya – manauYya Ê dovagaNa – dovagaNa Ê raxasagaNa – raxasagaNa tr ivavaahalaa hrkt naahI.
3
pNa gaNaaMva$na maaNasaacao svaBaava ivaElaoYaNa hao} Saklao.
dovagaNa − ]dar Ê papiBa$ Ê dusa–yaaMcao caaMgalao icaMtNaara.
manauYya gaNa : AapmatlanaI Ê svaaqaI- Ê svat:caa svaaqa- saaQalaa kI maga maana ifrvaUna inaGaUna jaatat.
raxasa gaNa : maaJaM to maaJaM AaiNa tuJaM toih maaJaca Ê kzaor AMt:krNaacaa Ê dusa–yaa ivaYayaI dyaa–maayaa Asat naahI.
5 ´ naaDI : − ek naaDI daoYa AsataM flaQaarNaa haot naahI. mhNaUna ek naaDI daoYa AsataM ivavaahalaa gaà*ya Qart naahI.
pNa *yaalaa kahIca AaQaar naahI. ek naaDI daoYa AsataM flaQaarNaa haoto pNa janmaalaa yaoNaaro Ap%ya kahI trI SaarIrIk –
maanaisak daoYa Gao}na janma Gaoto. pNa jar ka vaQau – varaMcaI “ AaV naaDI vaa AMt naaDI ’’ AsataM flaQaarNaa hao} Sakto.
Aata SaarIrIk va maanaisak daoYa mhNajao kaya Æ tr SarIratIla kuzlyaatrI AvayavaacaI pUNa- vaaZ haot naahI. kana – DaoLo –
hat kuzotrI baarIksaa daoYa rahUna jaatao.
Aata maanaisak daoYa mhNajao kaya Æ tr maoMdUcaI pUNa- vaaZ na Jaalyaanao AByaasaat to maUla yaqaatqaaca Asato. Aaklana Sai@t
kmaI Asato %yaamauLo iSaxaNaat p`gait haot naahI. krIyar maQyao sauwa QaDaDI idsaUna yaot naahI.
prMtu “ ]BayataMcaI – vaQau – varaMcaI ’’ maQya naaDI AsaUna jar ek naaD daoYa Asaola tr %yaaMnaa ekmaokaMpasaUna kQaIih flaQaarNaa
hao} Sakt naahI. %yaamauLo jaIvanaat %yaaMnaa Ap%ya sauKasaazI eKado maUla d<akca Gyaavao laagaola.
6 ´ yaaonaI : − s~I À pu$YaaMnaa eKaVa janaavarap`maaNao Bar rs%yaat kamavaasanaa tRPt krta yaot naahI. %yaasaazI %yaaMnaa
ivavaahbaMQanaat ADkUna AaplaI kamavaasanaa tRPt krta yaoto AaiNa mhNaUnaca jyaaoitYa Saas~at “ yaaonaIcaI ’’ vaga-vaarI
janaavaraMcaI naavao do}na %yaa %yaa yaaonaIcaa Aqa- saaMigatlaa Aaho. %yaalaa mhNatat “ yaaonaI kuT ’’ *yaaMnaa janaavaraMcaIca naavao idlaI
Aahot. jasao AEva Ê maoYa Ê sap- Ê Evaana Ê maajaa-r Ê mauYak Ê gaao Ê maihYaI Ê gaja Ê vyaaGa` Ê maRga Ê vaanar Ê nakula va isaMh ASaa
14 yaaonaI Aahot.
mhNaUna tumhI vaQau – varaMcao gauNa –maolana krtanaa puZIla gaaoYTI laxaat zovaavyaat. gaao – vyaaGa` Ê maihYaI – AEva Ê Evaana – maRga Ê
maajaa-r – maubak Ê isaMh – gaja Ê vaanar – maoYa Ê nakula ³ mauMgaUsa ´ – sap- ASaa prspr vaOr yaaonaI Asalyaasa vaOvaaihk sauKat
mhNajaoca “ sao@sa ’’ sauKat ADcaNaI yao}na kQaI – kQaI GaTsfaoTih hao} Saktao va kaoT- %yaalaa saMmait doto.
7 ´ vaQaucyaa kuuMDlaIt riva – maMgaL va SauË ga`h sauisqaitt Asaavao laagatat. ³ varIla ga`h SauBa isqaitt Aahot ikMvaa naahI to
var idlaolyaa t@yaatUna tumhI pahU Saktat. tr varacyaa kuMDlaIt caMd` − SauË va saPt`maBavaacaa kark ga`h sauisqaitt Asaavao
laagatat. mhNajao nausato 18 ikMvaa %yaapoxaa jaast gauNa AsaUna varIla ga`h isqait caaMgalaI nasaola tr jaast gauNa jamaUna sauwa
vaOvaaihk jaIvana sauKkark hao} Sakt naahI.
8 ´ maulaalaa À maulaIlaa maMgaL daoYa tr naahI naa Æ Aata maMgaL daoYa mhNajao saaobatcaI kuMDlaI pha.
maMgaL daoYa
maMgaL daoYa QarIt naahI
9 maMgaL
maMgaL
maMgaL
1 maMgaL
6 maMgaL
maMgaL
maMgaL
maMgaL
10 maMgaL
4 maMgaL
4
lagna sqaanaat maoYa raSaIcaa maMgaL Asaola Ê catuqa- sqaanaI vaRiScak raSaIcaa maMgaL Ê saPt`masqaanaI makr raSaIcaa maMgaL Ê
AYTma sqaanaI kk- raSaIcaa maMgaL va vyayasqaanaI QanauraSaIcaa maMgaL Asalyaasa tI maMgaL kuMDlaI mhNaUna gaNalaI jaat naahI.
Aata maMgaL daoYaamauLo kaya haoto Æ tr ivavaah ivalaMbaanao haotao. ivavaah sauKat ADcaNaI yaotat. GaramaQyao tMTo Ê BaaMDNa Ê
ASaaMtI vagaOro hao}na vaOvaaihk sauK pUNa-pNao ibaGaDUna ik%yaokda GaTsfaoT – ivaBa@tpNaa sauwa yao} Saktao. Aata maI tumhalaa
dusara “ @lau ’’ dotao. pNa tao tumhI laxaat naahI zovalaa trI caalaola. %yaasaazI tumhalaa caaMgalaa jyaaoitYaca gaazlaa paihjao.
varIla maMgaL daoYa kuMDlaIt jar riva maMgaL ga`habaraobar 8°AMSaat ³ yautI ´ Asata maMgaL daoYa naahIsaa haotao. tsaoca jar maMgaL
daoYa AsaUna %yaa maMgaLavar gau$ ga`haMcaI SauË _YTI ³ gau$ga`halaa 3 SauBa _YTI Asato. 5 vaI 7 vaI va 9 vaI Asaola trIih maMgaL
daoYa naahIsaa haotao.´
9 ´ kuMDilatIla saPt`masqaanaalaa ivavaah sqaana mhNaUna saMbaaoiQatat ³ kRpyaa saaobatcaI kuMDlaI pha ´
ivavaah
sqaana
rahU
raavI SanaI
hYa- naop
jar ivavaah sqaanaacaa puZo va maagao − rahU – SanaI Ê riva va hYa-la Ê naopcaUna Asao pap ga`h Asalao. ³ vaQau – varacyaa kuMDlaIt –
Aqavaa ekTyaa vaQaucyaa À varacyaa kuMDlaIt ´ %yaalaa jyaaoitYa Saas~at “ papkt-rI ’’ yaaoga Asao mhNatat. [tr gauNa caaMgalao
AsaUna sauwa jar ivavaah sqaana papkt-rI yaaogaat Asata ivavaah sauKat ADcaNaI yao}na ivaBa>pNaa sauwa yaotao. mhNaUnaca nausato
gauNa – maolana na krta varIla sava- inakYa laavaUna tumhI jar vaQau – varaMcao gauNamaolana kolao trca ivavaah saaohLa sauKacaa hao[-la.
maga saaMgaa barM Aamha jyaaoitYaaMnaa iktItrI gaaoYTI pahavyaa laagatat. Aaho ik naahI jyaaoitYaSaas~ca “ i@lasT ’’ Æ
gauNa – maolana baVla AaNaKI barca kahI saaMgata yao[-la. pNa tumhI sava- “ baaoAr ’’ vhala. mhNaUna tUt- trI evhZI maaihtI malaa
vaaTtM puroSaI Aaho.
[it SauBama\ BavatU ²²
10. lagna – pUva-rMga ³ PaUva-tyaarI ´
lagna hI p`%yaokacyaa AayauYyaatIla ek mah%vaacaI GaTnaa Asato. lagnaacaI saaoPaI vyaa#yaa mhNajao pu$Ya va s~Icyaa SaarIrIk
saMbaMQaaMnaa samaajaacaI maanyata imaLivaNyaacaa saaohLa. malaa klpnaa Aaho kI hI raoKzaok vyaa#yaa vaacaUna ba–yaaca maMDLIMcyaa
kpaLavar AazI ]maTola. Asaao. lagnaabaVla tSaI tr barIca mato maaMDlaI jaatat. lagna ha ek jaugaar Aaho. lagna ha ek
Asaa laaDU Aaho kI ha laaDU KaNaara jaovaZa pstavatao tovhZaca ha laaDU na KaNaarasauwa pstavatao. lagna ha ek daorIvarcaa
KoL Aaho. lagna *yaa ivaYayaalaa ASaa irtInao Sabdbaw krtanaa maaNaUsa Gaabarlaa naahI tr navalaca.
kahIhI Asaao. lagna ho Aaplyaa janma maR%yaU drmyaanacyaa p`vaasaatIla p`mauK jaM@Sana sToSana Aaho Asao mhTlao tr vaavagaoo haoNaar
naahI. karNa [qapya-Mtcao ektfI- AayauYya kovaL iSaxaNa Ê naaokrI ASaa T/^kva$na caalat Asato. svat:caI kaLjaI Aa[vaiDlaaMcyaa KaMVavar TaklaolaI Asato. prMtu lagnaanaMtr sagaLoca badlato. kaoNaacaI trI jabaabadarI KaMVavar pDto.
inaNa-yaxamatocaI ksaaoTI laagato. ‘ maaNasao AaoLKNao ’ ho ek kma-kzINa kama kravao laagato. tDjaaoD krNao Ê naahI eokayacaI
savaya baroca vaoLa lagnaanaMtrca laagatoÀ haoto. ima~aMnaao tumhalaa GaabarvaNyaacaI maaJaI maULIca [cCa naahI. ikMbahUnaa lagna *yaa
ivaYayaasaMbaMQaI AaplaI maanaisakta tyaar krNao haca (a laoKacaa ]VoSa Aaho.
lagna ho daona vyai@tMpurtoca mayaa-dIt rhat nasaUna ha daona kuTUMbaaMcaa pÈna Asatao. pu$YaaMsaazI kdaicat lagna ha majaocaa samaarMBa
AsaU Sakola pNa eka s~IsaazI maa~ ha varkrNaI majaocaa samaarMBa Asalaa trI manaatIla hUrhUr Ê kaLjaI Ê ToMnSana tI
kaoNaabaraobar maaokLopNaanao baaolaU Sakt naahI.
svat:cao Gar Ê Aa[-vaiDla Ê Baa} – baihNa yaaMnaa saaoDUna tI nava–yaacyaa GarI jaato. toqao navara saaoDUna itcyaa farsao pircayaacao
kaoNaIca nasato. Aqaa-t navara sauwa lagnaapUvaI- iktI piricat haotaoÀ Asatao ho saaMgaNao kzINaca Aaho. saUnaonao À baayakaonao
saasarI lavakrat lavakr tDjaaoD k$na sagaLyaaMcaI manao ijaMkavaI ASaI Apoxaa Asato .pNa navaromaMDLIMnaI inadana ASaI klpnaa
kravaI kI lagnaanaMtr AapNa baayakaocyaa maahorI rhayalaa jaaNaar Aahaot va Aaplaa itqao AnaaoL#yaa jaagaI ksaa inaBaava laagaola
va %yaanaMtrca %yaaMnaa ho iktI kma-kzINa kama Aaho yaacaI jaaNaIva hao[-la. Aqaa-t Garjaava[- haoNaaro mahaBaaga Aahotca.
maulaacao ikMvaa maulaIcao lagna vaoLovar vhavao ASaI palakaMcaI [cCa va kaLjaIsauwa Asato. prMtu maaJyaa mato *yaa ivaYayaacaI jaovaZI
pUva-tyaarI krNao garjaocao Aaho tovhZI tyaarI kolaI jaat naahI. Krotr SSC pya-Mt iSaxaNa JaalyaanaMtr maulaacyaa ikMvaa maulaIcyaa
huYaarIp`maaNao puZIla ]ccaiSaxaNa Gaotlao jaato pNa %yaacavaoLI lagna *yaa ivaYayaacaa jarahI ivacaar kolaa jaat naahI. hI gaaoYT
maulaIcyaa baabatIt ~asadayak haoNyaacaa saMBava Asatao. AayauYyaatIla lagna ha ek mah%vaacaa TPpa Aaho va %yaacaI vaoL hI iSaxaNa
pUNa- k$na naaokrI vyavasaayaat ba–yaapOkI isqaravalyaavar Asato. lagna ho yaaogya vayaat haoNao puZIla AayauYyaasaazI mah%vaacao
Asato. Aqaa-t ‘ yaaogya vaya ’ ho p`%yaokalaa zrvaavao laagato.
palakaMnaI Aaplyaa palyaacao iSaxaNa caalaU JaalyaanaMtr Ê pi~ka jyaaoitYaalaa daKvaUna lagnaacaa yaaoga kQaI Aaho ho samajaUna Gyaavao.
Paalyaabaraobar yaacaI cacaa- krNyaacaI garja naahI. prMtu *yaamauLo palyaacao puZIla iSaxaNa Ê naaokrI vagaOrosaazI iktI vaYaa-Mcaa AvaQaI
imaLNaar Aaho *yaacaI klpnaa yao[-la. Aqaa-t lagnaacaa kahI ekca yaaoga nasatao. prMtu iSaxaNa va %yaanaMtr naaokrI
laagalyaanaMtrcaa yaaoga na@kI kQaI Aaho ho kLlyaasa palakaMnaa svat:caI va palyaacaI maanaisakta tyaar krNao saao[-cao hao[-la.
ha yaaoga maahItI na k$na Gaota lagna jauLvaNyaacao p`ya%na kolao tr Eama fukTca jaatIla. palyaalaa ivaiSaYT janma naxa~ Asaola
tr iktI payapIT kravaI laagaola ho jaavao %yaacyaa vaMSaa tovhaca kLo ²
jar ka Aaplaa palya pòmaat pDlaa nasaola tr ivavaahacaI pihlaI payarI ivavaahmaMDLacaI caZavaI laagato. hllaI maulaacao sauwa naava
naaoMdvalao jaato va maulaakDIla maMDLI pNa maulaIMcaI sqaLo inavaDUna p`ya%na krtat.
2
naavanaaoMdNaIcyaa namaunaap~kat ek mah%vaacaa rkanaa Asatao saUnaobaVla Apoxaa ikMvaa jaavayaabaVla Apoxaa AaiNa Krotr gaaDI
[qaoca ADto. karNa *yaa pÈnaacaa saaklyaanao ivacaarca kolaolaa nasatao. maga paokL SabdaMcaI maaL gauMfavaI laagato.
]da. manaimaLavaU Ê kt-bagaar Ê gaRhkR%yadxa Ê smaaT- Ê sauMdr vagaOro vagaOro.
*yaa laoKacyaa SaovaTI ek jaM~I idlaI Aaho jyaayaaogao Aaplyaalaa ‘ Apoxaa ’ Sabd$p krNao saao[-cao hao[-la. tsaoca AaplaI ivaivaQa
ivaYayaaMvarcaI ‘ mato ’ kaya Aahot ho hI pDtaLUna phata yao[-la. Aaplyaa Apoxaa va mato vyavaisqat Sabd$p krNao va
%yaacabaraobar AaplaI tDjaaoDIcaI iktI p`maaNaat tyaarI Aaho ho zrivaNao garjaocao Aaho.Apoxaa zrvatanaa ikMvaa mato banaivatanaa
samaaorcyaacaI sauwa kahI mato AsaU Saktat va Apoxaa AsaU Saktat *yaacao Baana AsaNao AavaSyak Aaho.
mato va Apoxaa vyaavaharIk Asaavyaat va AapNa svat: *yaa Apoxaa iktI p`maaNaat pu–yaa krtao ho baiGatlyaasa AapNa
banaivalaolyaa yaadItIla AitSayaaoi@tcaa Baaga AapaoAapca gaLUna pDola ASaI Apoxaa Aaho.
p`stavanaa farca laaMbalaI. Apoxaa va mato yaaMcaI KalaIlap`maaNao vaga-vaarI kolaI Aaho.
1. SaarIrIk
2. iSaxaNa Ê baaOiwk
3. naaokrI vyavasaaya
4. kuTUMba
5. CMd Ê AavaD Ê savayaI
6. [tr baabaI
Aqaa-t p`%yaok maulaa À maulaIbaraobar ho sava- mau_o baaolaavao ASaI Apoxaa naahI. pNa vaiDlaQaa–yaa maMDLIMbaraobar cacao-tUna sauwa
ba–yaaca gaaoYTI kLU Saktat. prMtu ekda GarcyaaMcaI pàqaimak psaMtI Ê jyaaoitYaacaa sallaa sakara%mak Asalyaasa Ê
AMitma psaMtIpUvaI- maulaa–maulaIMnaI ek~ BaoTUna *yaa sava- mauVavar manamaaokLI cacaa- kravaI va %yaanaMtrca AapNa caaMgalao jaaoDIdar banaU
Saktao *yaacaI Ka~I pTlyaanaMtrca AMitma psaMtI VavaI. yaa saazI jyaaoitYaSaas~acaa caaMgalyaa irtInao ]pyaaoga haotao. *yaaca
vaobasaa[-Tvar ‘ Match making what next ’ *yaa laoKat maaga-dSa-na imaLU Sakola.
malaa Ka~I Aaho ik *yaa mauVaMnaa Anausa$na AMitma inaNa-ya Gaotlyaasa eka sauKd ivavaahacaI naaMdI hao} Sakto. Aqaa-t ek
gaaoYT namaUd k$ [icCtao. *yaa sagaLyaa mauVaMcaI cacaa- JaalyaanaMtr Ê mato vya@t kolyaanaMtr sauwa maaNaUsa lagnaanaMtr badlaU
Saktao. idlaolyaa Sabdap`maaNao vaagat naahI vagaOro gaaoYTI GaDU Saktat. prMtu hI sava- cacaa- kolyaanaMtr t$Na pIZI AMitma inaNa-ya
GaoNyaapUvaI- Aaplyaa manaacaa kaOla Ê tDjaaoDIcaI tyaarI prt ekda tpasaUna baGaitla ASaI Apoxaa Aaho. mhNaUnaca yaSasvaI
ivavaahacaI Sa@yata maaJyaa mato na@kIca jaast Asaola.
AapNa jar ka samaaja manaacaa kanaaosaa Gaotlaa tr Anaok sauiSaixat maulaa–maulaIMcyaa ivavaahatIla kurbaUrI eokU yaotIla. *yaacao
karNa ivavaah jauLNyaasaazI baroca vaoLa idsaNao Ê pgaar vagaOro gaaoYTI pàmau#yaanao ivacaarat Gaotlyaa jaatat. pNa lagna ho daona
iBanna ilaMgaI vya@tIMmaQaIla AsalyaamauLo %yaaMcyaa AavaDI Ê inavaDI Ê mana yaacaa ivacaar far Kaolaat jaa}na kolaolaa AaZLt
naahI. maI tr mhNaona kI lagnaat daona SarIraMcyaa imalanaabaraobarca daona manaaMcyaa imalanaacaa saMgama Apoixat Aaho.
*yaa baabatIt jyaaoitYaSaas~acaa caaMgalaa ]pyaaoga hao} Saktao ho maI jyaaoitYaSaas~acaa AByaasak mhNaUna mauVama namaUd k$
[icCtao. Aqaa-t tumhI iktI ivaWana jyaaoitYaakDo jaata yaavar ho AvalaMbaUna Aaho. tsaoca tumacaa *yaa Saas~avar pUNa- ivaEvaasa
Asaola trca Asao kra. %yaacap`maaNao jyaaoitYakqana svaIkarNyaacaI manaacaI tyaarI Aaho ka yaacaahI kanaaosaa Gyaa. Asaao.
jyaaoitYaSaas~acaa ksaa ]pyaaoga hao} Saktao ho qaaoD@yaat saaMgatao.
3
*yaa vaobasaa[-Tvar ‘ Astrology ’ *yaa sao@Sana maQyao vya@tIma%va AaoLKNyaacao zaoktaLo idlao Aahot. tsaoca naavaava$na Ê
janmatarKova$na *yaa vya@tIMcaa ³ Ruling Planet ´ AiQaptI kaoNa va %yaa vya@tIcao kaoNaabaraobar pTto ho sauwa kLU
Sakola. *yaa vyaitir@t pi~kotIla 12 sqaanaaMva$na %yaa vya@tIcaI barIca AaoLK hao} Sakto. jar ka GaratIla vaiDlaQaa–yaa
maMDLIMnaa jyaaoitYaSaas~acao &ana ikMvaa taoMDAaoLK Asaola tr %yaa AnauYaMgaanao cacao-cyaa AaoGaat maaihtI imaLivata yao} Sakto.
Asaao.
pi~kotIla 1 lao sqaana : ³ lagna sqaana ´ vya@tIma%va Ê svaBaava Ê Aaraogya kLU Sakto.
pi~kotIla 2 ro sqaana : ³ Qanasqaana ´ pOsaa Ê saMpi<a ivaYayaI maaga-dSa-na imaLto.
pi~kotIla 3 ro sqaana : ³ praËma ´ BaavaMDo Ê p`vaasa vagaOro.
pi~kotIla 4 qao sqaana : ³ gaRhsqaana ´ Aa[- Ê GaratIla vaatavarNa Ê Gar Ê vaahnasauK
pi`~kotIla 5 vao sqaana : ³ saMttI sqaana ´ saMttI Ê iSaxaNa Ê pòmaivavaah vagaOro.
pi~kotIla 6 vao sqaana : ³ Sa~usqaana ´ Aaraogya Ê haoNaaro raoga Ê Sa~u Ê naaokrI Ê maamaa vagaOro.
pi~kotIla 7 vao sqaana : ³ jaayaasqaana ´ navara À baayakao Ê SarIrsauK vagaOro. Ê pòmaivavaah.
pi~kotIla 8 vao sqaana : ³ maR%yaUsqaana ´ raoga Ê maR%yaUcao karNa vagaOro.
pi~kotIla 9 vao sqaana : ³ Baagyasqaana ´ prdoSap`vaasa Ê Baagyaaodya kQaI Æ
pi~kotIla 10 vao sqaana : ³ iptRsqaana ´ vaiDla Ê naaokrI Ê vyavasaaya.
pi~kotIla 11 vao sqaana : ³ laaBaooSa ´ sava- p`karcao eohIk laaBa.
pi~kotIla 12 vao sqaana : ³ vyayaoSa ´ Qaaima-k pIMD Ê jaIvanaatIla vajaa baajaU.
Aqaa-t p`%yaok pi~kocaa evaZa Kaolavar AByaasa Sa@ya naahI *yaacaI malaa klpnaa Aaho.
prMtu sauKkr ivavaahasaazI jyaaoitYaSaas~acaI madt hao} Sakto evaZoca malaa saaMgaavayaacao Aaho. tsaotr Axarava$na sauwa
vya@tIma%vaacao baroca AMdaja sahjapNao kLU Saktat. tsaoca ‘ dohbaaolaIva$na ’ sauwa maaNasaacao mana kLU Sakto.
*yaaca vaobasaa[-TvarIla Graphology AaiNa Interpretation of Body language caI maahItI vaacaavaI.
malaa Ka~I Aaho ik varIla ivavaocanaap`maaNao ivacaar kolyaasa tumhalaa manaimaLavaU jaaoDIdar na@kI imaLola. tumacyaa vaOvaaihk
sauKasaazI SauBaocCa ²²²
11.0 jaaoDIdarakDUna Asalaolyaa Apoxaa svat:caI mato
1.0
1.1
1.2
1.3
1.4
1.5
1.6
1.7
1.8
1.9
1.10
SaairrIk :
]McaI Ê ikMvaa ]McaItIla frk
vajana
baaMQaa
vaya À vayaatIla AMtr
vaNacaYmaa Ê Contact Lens
Blood group
lahanapNaapasaUnacao Aajaar Ê MC.
kosa.
kpDo kaoNato vaapravao Æ
Apoxaa Ê mato
tDjaaoD
4
2.0
2.1
2.2
2.3
2.4
2.5
iSaxaNa :
iSaxaNa iktI Asaavao Æ
kaoNa%yaa SaaKotIla Æ
vyaavasaaiyak iSaxaNaacao maaQyama
vyaavasaaiyak iSaxaNa
iSaxaNa ApUNa- Asalyaasa ikMvaa puZo iSakayacao
Asalyaasa
Apoxaa Ê mato
tDjaaoD
3.0
3.1
naaokrI :
naaokrI kSaI AsaavaI Æ sarkarI Ê KajagaI xao~ Ê
ba^Mk Ê avImaa Ê vagaOro.
pgaar
kamaacyaa vaoLa
huVa
naaokrIcaa kalaavaQaI
naaokrI iktI vaYao- kravaI laagaola Æ ³ maulaIlaa´
naaokrI lagnaanaMtr jamaola ka Æ³ maulaIlaa´
³ rahNyaacao izkaNa badlaNaar AsalyaakarNaanao ´
Aaiqa-k vyavahar
prdoSaI À naaokrIsaazI jaayacaI tyaarI
vyaavasaaiyak jabaabadarI caalaU zovaavaI ka Æ
krIyar krNaarI ³ maulaIcyaa baabatIt ´
naaokrI saaoDayacaI tyaarI Aaho ka Æ³ maulaIsaazI ´
naaokrIcao izkaNa saasarpasaUna laaMba AsalyaamauLo
naaokrI saaoDavaI laagalaI tr dusarI naaokrI imaLU
Sakola ka Æ
Apoxaa Ê mato
tDjaaoD
jaaoDIdaracao kuTUMba :
svat:cyaa SahratIla ikMvaa javaLIla SahratIla
dusa–yaa rajyaatIla caalaola ka Æ
Aaiqa-k djaa- ksaa Asaavaa
Baa} Ê baihNaI vagaOro.
Aa[- vaiDlaaMcao iSaxaNa Ê huVa
jaat Ê paoTjaat
prQamaa-tIla caalaola ka Æ
ek~ rahNyaacaI ‘ tyaarI ’ ³ maulaI saazI ´
ivaBa@t kuTUMba À ek~ kuTUMba
ekUlata À ekUlatI ek caalaola ka Æ
Apoxaa Ê mato
tDjaaoD
3.2
3.3
3.4
3.5
3.6
3.7
3.8
3.9
3.10
3.11
3.12
3.13
4.0
4.1
4.2
4.3
4.4
4.5
4.6
4.7
4.8
4.9
4.10
5
4.11
4.12
4.13
4.14
4.15
4.16
4.17
4.18
5.0
5.1
5.2
5.3
5.4
5.5
5.6
5.7
5.8
5.9
5.10
5.11
5.12
5.13
5.14
5.15
5.16
5.17
]<ar hao Asaola saasarcaI jabaabadarI GyaayacaI
tyaarI Aaho Aaho ka Æ
kuTUMbaatIla vaatavarNa – Qaaima-k Ê puZarlaolao
vàtvaOklpacyaa Apoxaa Ê ]pasa vagaOro.
maahorI baayakaonao pOsao idlao tr caalatIla ka Æ
kja- ivaYayak tpSaIla
maulaInao kja- Gaotlao Asalyaasa prtfoD maanya
Aaho ka Æ
gauMtvaNaUk Æ
GarasaazI kja- Asalyaasa ikMvaa lagnaanaMtr Gar
GaoNaar AsalyaasaÊ baayakaokDUna Aaiqa-k hatBaar Æ
CMd Ê AavaDIinavaDI Ê savayaI :
GarkamaacaI savaya
svayaMpak yaotao ka Æ
klaa ³ gaayana Ê ica~klaa Ê naaca vagaOro Ê KoL ´
puZIla klaaiSaxaNa ³ maulaIcao baabatIt ´
laa[f sTa[-la
svayaMpak krayalaa AavaDtao ka Æ
³ maulaIcyaa baabatIt ´
kaoNato kpDo AavaDtat Æ
lagnaapUvaI- saakar na JaalaolaI svaPnao Ê Qyaoya.
krmaNaukIcyaa klpnaa
TV caI AavaD Ê isanaomaa Ê naaTk Ê saMgaIt
maOfla.
Treaking caI AavaD Ê ifrNyaacaI AavaD Ê
ha^Tolaat jaovaNao Ê Shopping.
Garkama yaoto ka Æ AavaDto ka Æ
savayaI dusa–yaalaa na AavaDNaa–yaa Æ
idnacayaa- Æ
vyasanao Æ
SaakaharI – maaMsaaharI Æ
vaacanaacaI AavaD
Apoxaa Ê mato
tDjaaoD
6
6.0
6.1
6.2
[tr baabaI :
pi~ka baGaavayaacaI Aaho ka Æ
f@t gauNaimalana ik flajyaaoitYa Ê
maMgaL Aaho ka Æ
6.3 lagna ksao kravao Æ vaOidk Ê Qaaima-k ik
naaoMdNaIpwtInao Æ
6.4 pasapaoT- Aaho ka Æ
6.5 huMDa Ê vardixaNaa
6.6 sahcar naomaka ksaa paihjao Æ ima~ Ê saaMBaaLUna
GaoNaara Ê iTkakar Ê haoyabaa Æ
6.7 svaBaava : saBaaQaIT Ê eklakaoMDI À eklakaoMDa
6.8 saMttI baVlacyaa Apoxaa
6.9 Aga`Ëma Apoixat Æ ³ iSaxaNa Ê naaokrI Ê
kuTUMba Ê maulao ´
6.10 baayakaocao ima~ Ê nava–yaacyaa maOi~NaI yaaMcaobaraobar
lagnaanaMtr ksao saMbaMQa rahavaot Æ
6.11 vaahna caalavata yaoto ka Æ
6.12 nasalyaasa Ê vaahna caalaavINyaacao iSaxaNa GaoNaar ka Æ
6.13 inaNa-yaxamata
6.14 vya@tIsvaatMHya
Apoxaa Ê mato
tDjaaoD
11 − ivavaah – gauNa maolana pwtI
ivavaah jamaivatanaaa f@t gauNa saM#yaa 18 poxaa jaast AsalaI Aqavaa 26 Ê 30 Ê 32 vagaOro mhNaUna kahI ivavaah sauKkark
haotaoca Asao naahI. %yaabaraobar [trih baabaI tpasaUna phavyaa laagatat. jyaa puZIla p`maaNao :
1. raSaI maO~I 2. ga`h maO~I 3. naxa~ maO~I 4. gaNa 5. naaDI 6. yaaonaI
7. maulaIcyaa kuMDlaIt riva – maMgaL va SauË tr maulaacyaa kuMDlaIt caMd` −SauË
8. maulaalaa À maulaIlaa maMgaL daoYa tr naahI naa Æ
9. ivavaah sqaana mhNajao saPt`ma sqaana “ papkt-rI yaaogaat tr naahI naa Æ ivavaah sauKacyaa kark ga`havar mhNajaoca
pyaa-yaanao saPt`maoYaavar pap ga`hacaI _YTI tr naahI naa Æ
10. SauË kI jaao ivavaah sauKacaa kark ga`h “ pap kt-rI yaaogaat ” Aqavaa pap ga`h _YT tr naahI naa Æ maUL
kuMDlaIt SauË “ knyaa ” yaa naIca raSaIt tr naahI naa Æ
11. ivavaahao<ar papga`hacaI mahadSaa tr naahI naa Æ
12. saPt`maoYa 6 – 8 – 12 *yaa “ i~k sqaanaI ” ASaUBa sqaanaI tr naahI naa Æ
13. 6 – 7 – 8 *yaa sqaanaI jaastIt jaast pap ga`h tr naahIt naa Æ
14. sap`maoSa “ ivavaah saUKacaa kark ga`h" kRi<aka Ê maUL Ê AaElaoYaa Ê jyaoYza Ê ivaSaaKa Ê maGaa *yaa ËUr naxa~aMt
tr naahI naa Æ
ASaa iktItrI gaaoYTI pahuna magaca gauNa maolana kravao. Anyaqaa 18 poxaa jaast gauNa jamaUna sauwa puZo BaivaYyaat kahI
ivapirt GaDto. *yaalaa kaoNa jabaabadar Æ jyaaoitYa Saas~ Æ ka AamhI jyaaoitYaI Æ Asaao. mhNaUnaca ivavaah pi~ka
jamaivatanaa jyaaoitYaanao varIla gaaoYTI tpasaUna Aaplaa inaNa-ya Vavaa.
var
2
3
vaQaU
12
1
4
5
11
10
7
6
9
8
varIla p`maaNao varacao lagna ivaYama Asaola tr vaQaUcao sauwa ivaYama lagna Asaavao. tsaoca *yaacyaa ]laT raSaI baVla sauwa
haca inayama laagaU haotao. tsaoca jyaaoitYa Saas~at Qama- i~kaoNa Ê Aqa- i~kaoNa Ê kala i~kaoNa va maaoxa i~kaoNa yaa
sqaanaaMcao ga`h ima~ Aqavaa sama ima~ Asaavao. jasao kama i~kaoNa 3 − 7 – 11 sqaanaa maGaIla ga`haMcaI jar maO~I Asaola tr
ivavaah sauK caaMgalao imaLto. Sa~u%va Asalyaasa ivavaah sauKat ADcaNaI yaotat. ³ varIla gaaoYTI tpasatanaa %yaa
jyaaoitYaalaa *yaa Saas~acao &ana AsaNao AavaSyak Aaho ´
naaDI : − ekUNa 3 naaDyaa Aahot. AaV Ê maQya va AM%ya.
1. AaV naaDI : − kf p`vaRiM<a – SarIralaa ja$rI Asalaola vaMgaNa. puYTI dayak kama.
2. maQma naaDI : − ip<a daoYa – p`%yaok gaaoYT jaaLUna Taktao.
3. AM%ya naaDI : − vaat daoYa – kf – ip<a *yaaMnaa hlavaayacao kama.
ekUNa kuT daoYa Aaz p`karcao phavao.
1. vaNa- 2. vaSya 3. tara 4. yaaonaI kuT 5. ga`h maO~I 6. gaNa 7. raSaI kuT 8. naaDI.
2
1 vaNa- :
xai~ya: madt na GaoNaaro.
vaOSya: Happy go lucky.
SaUd`: vaaTola to ÀpDola to kama krayacaI tyaarI.
ivap`: Ambition, take efforts to achieve.
2 vaSya:
3. tara gauNa : − vaQaucyaa naxa~apasaUna varacao naxa~ iktvao Aaho tI saM#yaa kaZavaI. tsaoca varacyaa naxa~apasaUna
vaQaucao naxa~ iktvao Aaho tI saM#yaa kaZavaI. *yaa daonhI saM#yaocaI baorIja kravaI va %yaa baorjaolaa 9 nao Baagaavao
baakI 3 Ê 5 ikMvaa 7 raihlao tr ASaUBa tara samajaavaa. daonhI Baagaakarat ASaI ASaUBa baakI raihlaI tr 0
gauNa samajaavao. ekacaI ASaUBa va dusa–yaacaI SauBa raihlyaasa 1½ gauNa samajaavao. daonhI SauBa baakI raihlaI tr 3
gauNa samajaavao.
4. yaaonaI kuT : − *yaa yaaonaI kuTanaa janaavaraMcaIca naavao idlaI Aahot. AEva Ê maoYa Ê sap- Ê Evaana Ê maajaa-r Ê mauYak Ê
gaao Ê maihYaI Ê gaja Ê vyaaGa` Ê maRga Ê vaanar Ê nakula va isaMh ASaa 14 yaaonaI Aahot.
gaao – vyaaGa` Ê maihYaI – AEva Ê Evaana − maRga Ê maaja-r – mauYak Ê isaMh – gaja Ê vaanar – maoYa Ê nakula – sap- ASaa
prspr vaOr yaaonaI samajaavyaa va %yaa Asalyaasa vaOvaaihk sauKat mhNajaoca sao@sa sauKat ADcaNaI yao}na kQaI kQaI
ivaBa@tpNaa yao} Saktao.
5. ga`h maO~I : − vaQau – varaMcyaa raSaIMcao svaamaI ekmaokaMcao ima~ Asaavaot.ga`h t@ta baGaavaa.
6. gaNa : − var va vaQaU yaaMcaa ekca gaNa Asaola tr 6 gauNa Qaravao . vaQaucaa dovagaNa va varacaa manauYya gaNa Asaola tr
5 gauNa. daoGaaMpOkI ³ ekacaa dovagaNa va dusa–yaacaa raxasa gaNa Asata 1 gauNa va daoGaaMpOkI ekacaa raxasa gauNa va
dusa–yaacaa manauYya gaNa AsataM 0 gauNa Qaravao ´
dovagaNa : − sat\p`vaRi<a Ê sadacaar Ê praopkar Ê Qamaa-naukula va prmaoEvar inaYza ho sad\gauNa dovagaNaI naxa~ daKivato.
manauYya gaNa : − jagaatIla sauKaopaoBaaoga Baaogaavao pNa %yaaMnaa Qaaima-k baMQanaoih Asaaivat Ê svaaqaa-saazI dovaacaI yaqaa –
Sai@t AaraQanaa kravaI Asao manauYya gaNa saucaivatao.
raxasa gaNa : − tUJao to maaJao va maaJao to maaJyaa baapacao hI AasaurI p`vaRi<a va raxasaI mah%vaakaMxaa mhNajaoca raxasa.
7. raSaI kuT − gauNa 7 Qaravao.
vaQau va var daoGaaMcaI ekca raSaI AsataM varacyaa raSaI pasaUna vaQaucaI raSaI 3 Ê 4 Ê 7 Ê 10 Ê va 11 Asata 7
gauNa samajaavao. Anya p`kar AsataM 0 gauNa.
raSaI kuT daoYa : − iWWa-dSa − ]BayataMcyaa raSaI prspraMpasaUna dusarI ikMvaa baaravaI Asaola tr ha yaaoga haotao.
ha daoYa AsataM inaQa-na%va yaoto. pNa ASaavaoLI ha yaaoga [YT ikMvaa AinaYT AsaU Saktao. tao Asaa.
sama raSaI pasaUna ivaYama raSaI dusarI AalaI Asata SauBa. ]da. ³ 10 – 11 SauBa ´ va sama raSaI pasaUna 12 vaI
rasa ivaYama Asaola tr ASaUBa. ]da. ³ 10 – 9 ´. *yaalaa Apvaad isaMh – knyaa raSaI haoya.
navapMcama yaaoga : − ]BayataMcyaa raSaI prsprapasaUna 5 vaI va 9 vaI tr %yaaMcaa navapMcama – yaaoga haotao.
tao [YT ikMvaa AinaYT puZIla p`maaNao phavaa.
caMd` − maMgaL ³ 4 – 8 raSaI ´
caMd` − gau$ ³ 4 – 12 raSaI ´
bauQa – SanaI ³ 3 – 11 raSaI ´
bauQa – SanaI ³ 6 – 10 raSaI ´ ho ima~ ga`haMcao navapMcama AsaUnaih ASaUBa Aahot va Asaa ha navapMcama daoYa
Anap%ya vaa Ap%yahIna dSa-ivatao.
3
8. naaDI : − gauNa – 8
vaQau va var yaaMcyaa janmaacaI naaDI ekca Asaola tr 0 gauNa AaiNa iBanna Asaola tr 8 gauNa Qaravao. saMkTkaLI
AaV – AM%ya yaaMcaa eknaaDI ivavaah caalaola. prMtu daoGaaMcaI maQya naaDI AsataM “ sava-qaa ” vaja- samajaavao.
12. ivavaah ³ saPtmasqaana ´
ivavaah hI saamaaijak baMQanaacaI va maanyatocaI AaiNa Qaaima-k xao~amaQyao samaaivaYT AsalaolaI mah%vaacaI GaTnaa AsalyaamauLo ‘ gau$ ’
*yaa ga`hacao AMMmalaaKalaI maanaNyaat yaoto. s~Icao kuMDlaImaQyao pitkark ga`h ‘ maMgaL ’ va pu$Yaacyaa pi~komaQyao p%naIsauKacaa
data ‘ SauË ’ maanalaa Aaho. tsaoca saPtmaoSa va saPtmaatIla ga`hhI ivavaahavar Aaplaa p`Baava daKivatat. *yaa sava- ga`haMcaI
Avasqaa Ê Baavagat flao Ê yaaoga Ê dRYTI Ê mahadSaa va AMtd-Saa Ê navamaaMSa AaiNa ga`haMcaI gaaocar Ba`maNao *yaaMcaa pUNa- AByaasa
kolyaanaMtrca ivavaahasaMbaMQaI mat doNao Sa@ya Asato.
ivavaahyaaogaacaa AByaasa KalaIla ]pp`karaMMmaQyao ivaBaagaUna kolyaasa to AiQak saaoyaIcao hao[-la.
¾
¾
¾
¾
¾
¾
¾
¾
¾
¾
¾
sava-saamaanya $iZbaw ivavaah
KDtr ivavaah yaaoga
PàIit ivavaah
PàomaBaMga
$iZbaa*ya ivavaah
vaOQavyayaaoga À ivaQauravasqaa
Ahova marNa
du:KpUNa- ivavaah
GaTsfaoT
Pair%ya@ta
iWBaayaa-yaaoga
saPtmasqaanaasaMbaMiQat ³ lagna Ê pit Ê p%naI ´ kahI mah%vaacao yaaoga *yaa p`krNaaSaovaTI idlao Aahot.
sava-saamaanya $iZbaw ivavaah puZIla yaaogaaMvar haoNyaacaI Sa@yata AiQak Asato :
1. saPtmasqaanaamaQaUna gau$cao Ba`maNa Ê iWtIya Ê AYTma va vyavasqaanaI caMd` nasalyaasa.
*yaa sqaanaI caMd` nakao.
2. caMdàpasaUna gaaocar ‘ gau$ ’ saatvaa prMtu i~ksqaanaI mhNajaoca 6. 8. 12 *yaa sqaanaI nasaavaa.
3. gau$cao gaaocar Ba`maNa maMgaLava$na ³ s~Icyaa pi~kot´ va SauËava$na ³ pu$Yaacyaa pi~kot ´ haot Asaola tr ivavaahacaI
Sa@yata Asato.
4. ivavaahyaaogya kaLamaQyao SauË Agar gau$caI mahadSaa AsaUna Ê gau$caI ikMvaa saPtmaoSaacaI AMtd-Saa Asaola tr ivavaah
hao} Saktao.
2
5. gaaocarIcao gau$Ba`maNa lagna Ê tRtIya ikMvaa laaBasqaanaatUna haot Asalyaasa Ê ³ gau$caI saPtmaavar pUNa- _YTI AsalyaamauLo´
ivavaah hao} Saktao.³ gau$caI _YTI 5 Ê 7 Ê 9´
_YTI
6. janmakalaIna SauËacyaa 9 ikMvaa 5 vyaa sqaanaI gaaocarIcaa gau$ Asata ivavaahyaaoga saMBavatao.
7. saPtmaaMSa kuMDlaItIla SauË Ê gaaocar SauËaSaI koMd` ikMvaa navapMcama yaaoga krtao tovha ivavaah haotao. %yaaca kaLat
SauËdSaa ikMvaa AMtd-Saa Asalyaasa na@kI.
KDtr ivavaah yaaoga :
1. saPtmaoSa i~ksqaanaI mhNajaoca 6 Ê 8 Ê 12 *yaa sqaanaI. Saina ha maMdga`h saPtmaoSa AsaUna vyayaamaQyao Asaola tr ho fla
p`kYaa-nao jaaNavato.
saPtmaoSa
2. Saina lagnaI Ê pMcamaat Ê dSamaat ikMvaa saPtmaat Asata ivavaahyaaoga ]iSara saMBavatao karNa SainacaI 3 Ê 7 Ê 10 _YTI
saPtmaavar Asato.
3. ivavaahacaa kark gau$ ‘ Saina ’ *yaa maMdgatI papga`habaraobar yautI yaaogaat Asatanaa. ³ kaoNa%yaahI sqaanaI ´
4. saPtmaoSaabaraobar Saina yautIyaaogaat Asatanaa.
5. saPtmaoSa kaoNa%yaahI sqaanaI AsaUna %yaavar SainacaI 3 Ê 7 Ê 10 vaI _YTI Asalyaasa.
3
6. saPtmasqaanaI svaxao~Icaa Agar ]ccaIcaa saaoDUna Anya raSaImaQyao gau$ Asalyaasa Ê mhNajaoca saPtmasqaanaI kk- ³ 4´ Qanau
³ 9´ maIna ³ 12´ *yaa raSaI vagaLta dusa–yaa raSaItIla gau$.
rasa 4 Ê 9 Ê 12 saaoDUna
7. kaoNa%yaahI sqaanaI makrocaa gau$.
8. ivavaahyaaogyakalaI SainacaI maark mahadSaa AsaNao.
PàIitivavaahacao yaaoga :
1. saPtmaoSa pMcamaat va pMcamaoSa saPtmaat.
2. pMcama va saPtmasqaanaaMcao AiQapit SauBaga`h AsatIla AaiNa %yaa ]BayataMcaI prspraMvar _YTI Asaola Agar ekacaI
dusa–yaavar _YTI Asaola tr pòmaivavaahacaa yaaoga saMBavatao.
3. pMcamasqaanaatIla vaRYaBaocaa SauË kaoNa%yaahI ASauBa yaaogaaMvaacaUna ikMvaa _YTIvaacaUna Asaola tr.
SauË
4. ivavaahyaaogya vayaat SauËacaI mahadSaa va SauË va gau$ yaaMcaa SauBayaaoga Asalyaasa.
5. pMcama va saPtmasqaanacao yaaoga SauË Ê caMdàcao AsaUna ivavaahyaaogyakalaI %yaapOkI ekacaI mahadSaa Asalyaasa.
PàomaBaMgaacao yaaoga :
1. SauË va SainacaI yautI kaoNa%yaahI sqaanaI.
2. pMcamasqaanaI kaoNatahI papga`h ]da. rahU Ê kotU Ê naopcyaUna.
3. pMcamaoSa i~ksqaanaI mhNajaoca 5. 8. 12 *yaa sqaanaI.
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4. saPtmaoSa i ~ksqaanaI prMtu pMcamaoSaabaraobar yautIt nasalyaasa.
5. pMcamaoSaacaI papga`haSaI yautI.
6. pMcamaavar papga`hacaI _YTI.
7. pMcamaat jalaraSaItIla caMd` mhNajaoca kk- ³ 4´ vaRiEcak ³ 8´ ikMvaa maInaocaa ³ 12´ caMd` pMcamaat.
8. pMcamasqaanaI SauË yautIyaaogaat Ê hYa-la Ê maMgaL ikMvaa rahUbaraobar Asalyaasa. ivaSaoYa%vaanao vaRiEcak raSaIt.
9. pMcamasqaanaat ekTa hYa-la ivaSaoYat: AignaraSaIt mhNajaoca maoYa ³ 1´ isaMh ³ 5´ Qanau ³ 9´ raSaItIla hYa-la.
10.pMcamaat ekTa AitASauBa caMd` Asalyaasa pòmap`krNaat da$Na inaraSaa hao}na dusara ivavaah Jaalaa trI pòma ivasarta
yaot naahI.
$iZbaa*ya ivavaah ³ p`cailat Qama-maanya pwtIbaahorIla ivavaah´ :
1. saPtmaoSaabaraobar yautImaQyao rahU ikMvaa kotU Asalyaasa Ê AaMtrjaatIya ivavaah saMBavatao.
2. saPtmasqaanaI jalaraSaItIla yauvaa naoPacyaUna mhNajaoca saPtmasqaanaI kk- ³4´ vaRiEcak ³8´ maIna ³12´ rasa AsaUna
naopcyaUna 12° ¹ 18° AMSaI Asalyaasa.
3. saPtmaoSaabaraobar jalaraSaItIla yauvaa naopcyaUnacaI yautI.
4. gau$ ¹ hYa-la Agar SauË ¹ hYa-la yaaMcaI AMSaa%mak yautI pi~kot kaoNa%yaahI sqaanaI Asata.
5. saPtmaamaQyao AignaraSaItIla yauvaa hYa-la mhNajaoca saPtmasqaanaI maoYa ³1´ isaMh ³5´ Qanau ³9´ rasa AsaUna hYa-la
12° ¹ 18° AMSaI Asalyaasa.
vaOQavyayaaoga À ivaQauravasqaa :
1. saPtmasqaanaI papga`h AsaUna saPtmaoSa AYTmaat Asalyaasa vaOvaaihk BaagaIdaracaa maR%yaU svat: AaQaI saMBavatao.
2. saPtmasqaanaamaQyao ekTa rahU naIca xao~Icaa. mhNajaoca Qanau ³ 9 ´ Agar maInaocaa ³ 12 ´ rahU saPtmaat.
3. maMgaL va rahU yaaMcaI AMSaa%mak yautI. hI Sa@yata AignaraSaImaQyao mhNajaoca 1. 5. 9 raSaIt AiQak Asato.
4. maMgaLacaa koMd` ³ 90° ´ Agar YaDaYTk yaaoga ³ 150° ´ rahUbaraobar saPtmasqaanaI.
5. gau$ va rahUcaI yauit AsaUna ivavaahao<ar kaLamaQyao rahU mahadSaa AsaUna gaaocar Ba`maNao ivaSaoYak$na pìtkUla Asalyaasa.
6. iWtIyasqaanaI 1.5.9 raSaItIla maMgaL Ê hYa-laacyaa kuyaaogaat Asalyaasa.
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7. QanauraSaImaQyao ‘ maUL ’ *yaa ]ga`naxa~amaQyao rahU maMgaLacaI yauit saPtmaamaQyao Asalyaasa.
8. saPtmaoSa iWtIyaamaQyao AsaUna %yaava$na hYa-laacao gaaocarBa`maNa.
9. ASauBaga`hanao yau@t maMgaL AYTmaat.
10. saPtmaoSa iWtIyaat Asata.
TIp : p%naIkark SauËacyaa saMdBaa-maQyao ]praollaoiKt sava- yaaoga ³ maMgaLaeovajaI SauË´ Asata ivaQauryaaoga saMBavatao.
varIla sava- yaaoga Baavacailat kuMDlaIcyaa AaQaaro zrvaavaot AaiNa mahadSaa Ê AMtd-Saa va gaaocarBa`maNao *yaaMcaa ivacaar
kolyaavaacaUna inaNa-yaa%mak ivaQaana k$ nayao.
Ahova marNa :
1. saPtmaoSa i~ksqaanaI nasaUna saPtmaamaQyao svaraSaIcaa Agar ]ccaIcaa gau$ Asalyaasa.
saPtmaoSa *yaa sqaanaI nakao.
2. saPtmaavar gau$caI _YTI Asalyaasa ³ gau$ kuyaaogaat nasaavaa ´ mhNajaoca gau$ lagnaI Ê tRtIyaot ikMvaa laaBasqaanaI
Asalyaasa gau$caI 5 Ê 7 Ê 9 vaI _YTI saPtmaavar Asato.
3. saPtmaoSa iWtIyaamaQyao nasaavaa karNa iWtIya sqaana ho saPtmaacao AYTmasqaana haoya.
4. AYTmaat SauBaga`habaraobar caMd` Asalyaasa AkalaI saaOBaagyamarNa yaoto.
du:KpUNa- ivavaah :
1. saPtmasqaanaI QanauraSaI ³ 9 ´ saaoDUna AnyaraSaIcaa kotU Asalyaasa.
2. saPtmaoSa AYTmaat.
3. saPtmaoSa YaYTat Asalyaasa jaaoDIdar Sa~uvat vaaTtao. satt Qausafusa Ê icaDicaD caalaU AsaUna mana:SaaMit laaBat naahI.
4. pi~kot gau$bala nasalyaasa AaiNa saPtmaoSa 6. 8. 12 sqaanaI AsaUna saPtmaat papga`h Asalyaasa.
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5. SauË AstgaMt AsaUna gau$bala kmaI Asalyaasa.
6. SauË Sainacyaa raSaImaQyao Asalyaasa mhNajaoca makrocaa ³ 10 ´ ikMvaa kuMBaocaa ³ 11 ´ SauË.
GaTsfaoT :
1. saPtmaoSa i~ksqaanaI AsaUna saPtmaat hYa-la Agar ASauBa rahU vaa kotU Asalyaasa.
2. saPtmaoSa hYa-laacao yautIt AsaUna saPtmaavar papga`hacaI _YTI AaiNa ivavaahsauKalaa AinaYT mahadSaa Asalyaasa.
3. QanauraSaIt riva + caMd` + SauË yautI kaoNa%yaahI sqaanaI ivaSaoYaok$na maUL naxa~amaQyao.
Pair%ya@ta : ³ ptIpasaUna farkt pNa GaTsfaoT navho ´
1. saPtmaoSa va SainacaI yauit i~ksqaanaI.
2. saPtmaavar papga`hacaI _YTI va AinaYT mahadSaa Asalyaasa.
iWBaayaa-yaaoga :
1. saPtmaoSa papga`hacyaa raiSat va lagnaoSa AYTmaat.
2. saPtmasqaanaI caMd` + maMgaL yautI Asalyaasa 19 vaYaa-Mpya-Mt ivavaah k$ nayao karNa iWBaayaa-yaaoga saMBavatao.
3. saPtmaatIla kk- va maIna raSaItIla maMgaL papga`hdUiYat Asalyaasa.
4. saPtmaat Saina va 1. 2. 8. 12 *yaa sqaanaI maMgaL.
lagna Ê pit va p%naI saMbaMiQat yaaoga va %yaaMcaI filato :
1. SauË AaiNa riva saPtmaat Ê Baagyaat ikMvaa Baagyaat.
filat : jaaoDIdarasa SaarIirk ApMga%va saMBavato.
2. saPtmaoSa YaYTat SauËabaraobar
filat : jaIvanasaaqaI vaOvaaihk sauK do} Sakt naahI ³ Frigid´ vaa ApoxaaMmaQyao AitSaya frk Asatao.
3. saPtmaoSa ikMvaa SauËabaraobar Ê gau$ ikMvaa bauQa ikMvaa %yaaMcaI _YTI.
filat : jaIvanasaaqaI pàmaaiNak Asatao.
4. lagnaoSa va saPtmaoSa yaaMcaI yauit ikMvaa prspraMvar _YTI.
filat : AiQak Baayaa-yaaoga.
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5. dSamaoSa Ê iWtIyaoSa va saPtmaoSa dSamaat
filat : AnaOitk saMbaMQa AsaU Saktat.
6. balavaana iWtIyaoSa saPtmaoSaabaraobar ikMvaa _YTIt AaiNa lagnaoSa va SauË balavaana.
filat : p%naI kDUna pOsaa imaLtao.
7. YaYTat maMgaL Ê saPtmaat rahU Ê AYTmaat Saina
filat : saaqaIdaracaa AkalaI maR%yau saMBavatao.
8. gaaocarIcaa Saina 2. 4. 6. 8. 12 maQyao Asata ivavaah hao} Saktao.
9. janmakalaIna SauËacyaa 5 ikMvaa 9 vyaa sqaanaI gaaocarIcaa gau$ ivavaahyaaoga dotao.
10. SauË ikMvaa saPtmaoSa 1 to 7 *yaa sqaanaI Asata vaQaU À var javaL rahNaaro. 9 maQyao Asata prdoSacao.
8. 10. 11. 12 maQyao Asata dUrcao Asatat.
11. saPtmasqaanaI ivaSaoYat: s~Icyaa pi~kot riva + maMgaL yauit hYa-laacyaa kuyaaogaat Asata GaTsfaoT saMBavatao.
12. saPtmasqaanaI rahUcyaa kuyaaogaatIla maMgaL vaOQavyayaaoga dotao.
13. AYTmaatIla s~I raSaIcaa maMgaL idvasaa kamavaasanaa jaagaRt krtao.
14. AYTmaat caMd` maMgaL yautI Asata jabardst ivaYaya vaasanaa AsaUna mhatarpNaat sauwa vyai@t laGaLpNaa krtat.
15. riva iWtIyaat Asata pi%na ASa@t va AajaarI Asato.
16. Saina iWtIyaat Asata p%naIsa p`qama maR%yaUyaaoga saMBavatao.
17. saPtmaamaQyao vaRYaBa ikMvaa tuLraSaIt SauË Ê caMd` Ê maMgaL yautIt Asata Anaok izkaNaI SarIrsaMbaMQa saMBavatao.
18. imaqauna lagnaacyaa is~yaa *yaa naa %yaa sva$pat jaaoDIdarasa CLtat.
13. saMtitsaaO#ya ³pMcamasqaana´
pMcamasqaanaava$na saMtitsauKacaa ivacaar kolaa jaatao. yaa sqaanaat Asalaolao ga`h Ê yaa sqaanaacaa svaamaI va sqaanaavarIla [tr
ga`haMcaI _YTI hI sava- SauBa AsatIla va lagnaoSa – pMcamaoSa yaaMcao SauBayaaoga ³ yauuit Agar navapMcamayaaoga ´ AsatIla tr
saMtitsauK ]<ama imaLola. *yaa sqaanaaSaI kSaahI p`karo gau$caa saMbaMQa Asaola tr saMtityaaoga AvaSya yaotao.
Saina Ê maMgaL va rahU yaaMcaa yaa pMcamasqaanaaSaI saMbaMQa yaot Asaola tr saMttIsaMbaMQaI AinaYT fLo imaLtat. Sainacaa saMbaMQa
Asaola tr saMtit ]iSara haoto. maMgaLacaa saMbaMQa Asaola tr JaalaolaI sava-casaMtit iTkt naahI va rahUcaa saMbaMQa Asaola tr
ik%yaokda gaBa-naaSa haotao.
pMcamasqaana Ê pMcamaoSa va lagnaoSa yaaMcaoSaI pu$Yaga`haMcaa ³ riva Ê maMgaL Ê gau$ ´ saMbaMQa yaot Asaola tr pu~saMtit hao[-la va
s~Iga`haMcaa ³ caMd` va SauË ´ saMbaMQa yaot Asaola tr knyaa haotIla.
pMcamasqaanaat pu$YaraiSa ³ 1. 3. 5. 7. 9. 11´ Asaola tr pu~saMtit va s~IraiSa ³ 2.4.6.8.10.12Ásaola
knyaasaMtit hao[-la.
Ap%yajanmaamaQyao ptI AaiNa p%naI yaaMcaa eki~t sahBaaga AavaSyak Asalyaanao pMcamasqaana Ê pMcamaoSa Ê gau$ yaaMcaa ]Baya
pi~kotIla AByaasa saMtityaaogaacyaa AByaasaasaazI AavaSyak Asatao.
saMttIyaaogaacaa AByaasa KalaIla ]pp`karaMmaQyao ivaBaagaUna kolyaasa to AiQak saaoyaIcao hao[-la.

saMttIpàPtI
KDtr saMttIyaaoga
vaMQyaadaoYa va vaIya-daoYa
ina:saMtana yaaoga
ApMga saMttI
Ap%yaaMcao vaarMvaar maR%yaU
pu~ va knyaa saMtit
saMtitsaMbaMQaIcao kahI yaaoga
pMcamasqaanaatIla ga`h va %yaaMcaI fLo.
saMttIpàPtI : ³ pMcamasqaana ´
1. pMcamaatUna gaaocarIcyaa gau$cao Ba`maNa caMdàsa i~k nasalyaasa mhNajaoca maUL pi~kot caMd` YaYTat Ê dSamaat ikMvaa vyayaat
nasalyaasa.
mhNajao caMd`
2. pMcamaoSaava$na gaaocarIcyaa gau$cao Ba`maNa Ê caMdàsa i~k nasalyaasa.
3. gaaocarIcyaa gau$caI pMcamaavar _YTI Asata mhNajaoca gaaocarIcaa gau$ lagnaI Ê Baagyaat ikMvaa laaBaat Asata %yaacaI
5. 7. 9 vaI _YTI pMcamaavar Asato.
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4. gau$ mahadSaomaQyao gau$ AMtd-Saa Asata.
5. s~I pi~kot kk- ³ 4´ Qanauu ³ 9´ maIna ³ 12 ´ vaRiEcak ³ 8 ´ raSaItIla gau$ va ivavaahao<ar lagaoca gau$caI
mahadSaa Asalyaasa.
6. maULcyaa caMdàlaa gaaocarIcaa gau$ pacavaa Agar saatvaa AsaUna tao i~ksqaanaatUna ³ 6. 8. 12 ´ jaat nasaola tr
saMttIyaaoga saMBavatao.
7. maULcyaa gau$va$na gaaocarIcyaa gau$cao Ba`maNa 6. 8. 12 maQaUna haot nasaola tr.
8. gaaocarInao ekTa bauQa ekadSaat ikMvaa gaaocarInao ekTa SauË pMcamaat Aalaa Asata AaiNa pMcamasqaana va pMcamaoSa dUiYat
nasalyaasa.
KDtr saMttIyaaoga :
1. pMcamasqaanaamaQyao makrocaa Saina Ê rahU nao dUiYat ³ yaaoga ikMvaa _YTI ´
2. pMcamasqaanaamaQyao rahU Agar kotU ³ Apvaad imaqauna rahU vaa QanauraSaItIla kotU ´ Asalyaasa sap-daoYaaMmauLo saMttI haoNyaasa
ADqaLo yaotat.
3. s~I pi~kot saPtmaat Saina Ê rahU Agar Saina hYa-la yautI Asalyaasa maUla gaBaa-SayaamaQyao saatvyaa ikMvaa Aazvyaa
maihnyaamaQyao maR%yaU pavaNyaacaI Sa@yata Asato . Asaaca p`kar pu$Ya pi~kot AYTmaat riva caMd` yautIt Asata hao}
Saktao.
4. pMcamaoSa Ê ivaSaoYa%vao Saina Ê vyayaamaQyao ³ 12 vyaa sqaanaI ´ AsaUna ivavaahao<ar SainacaI mahadSaa Asalyaasa gaBa-QaarNaa
haoNao kizNa Asato.
5. makrocaa gau$ Agar AstMgat gau$ Ê ivaSaoYat: i~ksqaanaI Asalyaasa.
6. pMcamaamaQyao kuMBaocaa ³ 11 ´ riva Asalyaasa.
7. s~I kuMDlaImaQyao pMcamaat Aigna raSaItIla ³ 1. 5. 9 ´ maQaIla yauvaa maMgaL ³ 12° ¹ 18° ´ Asalyaasa vaarMvaar
gaBa-pat saMBavatat.
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vaMQyaadaoYa va vaIya-daoYa :
1. pMcamasqaanaatIla rahU ikMvaa kotU Ê ivaSaoYat: Qanau ³ 9´ maIna ³ 12´ raSaItIla rahU ikMvaa imaqauna ³ 3´ knyaa ³ 6´
raSaItIla kotU.
2. pu$Ya pi~kot jalaraSaItIla ³ 4.8.12´ ivaSaoYat: maInaomaQyao maMgaL i~ksqaanaI. %yaathI YaYTat Asalyaasa.
3. s~I kuMDlaIt pMcamaat knyaocaa ³ 6´ SauË Asalyaasa ³ Agar gaaocarInao Aalyaasa ´ AMDivasaja-na iËyaomaQyao ADqaLa
yaotao. ASaa SauËavar papga`haMcaI _YTI Asalyaasa ha daoYa p`kYaa-nao p`kT haotao. ASaa SauËacyaa sahvaasaat maMgaL
Asalyaasa AiQak r@ts~avaacaa ivakar saMBavatao.
4. eKaVa jaaoDPyaacyaa lagnaI Ê pMcamaat vaa saPtmaat ASauBa isqatImaQaIla papga`h Asalyaasa Incompatibility mauLo
gaBa-saMBava haot naahI.
5. s~Icyaa pi~komaQyao pMcamasqaanaI vaa pMcamaoSa daoYaah- ga`h AsaUna lagnaI Agar saPtmaat rahU À kotU À Saina À maMgaL
Asalyaasa Agar _YTI Asalyaasa jananaoMid`yaacaI pUNa- vaaZ JaalaI nasaNyaacaI Sa@yata AiQak p`maaNaat Asato va %yaamauLo
vaMQya%va saMBavato.
6. pMcamaamaQyao vaMQyaaraiSa AsaUna ³ 1. 3. 5. 6 rasa ´ pi~komaQyao gau$ Saina yauityaaoga Asata vyaMQa%va saMBavato.
7. s~I kuMDlaImaQyao tuL ³ 7´ raSaImaQyao rahU Asata garaodrpNaat najar laagaNao saMBavato.
8. tULocaa Saina Asata gaBaa-Sayaat daoYa Asalyaanao gaBa-saMBavaat ADqaLo yaotat.
9. pu$Yaacyaa SauËjaMtU tyaar haoNyaacyaa pìËyaosa va s~Icyaa baIjaaSayaatUna baIjaaMD baahor pDNyaacyaa maaisak pìËyaosa pMcama
ikMvaa AYTmaatIla riva ikMvaa maMgaL ikMvaa PlaUTao ADqaLa AaNatat va %yaamauLo rjaaodaoYa À vaIya-daoYa saMBavatao.
10. tULot maMgaL Asalyaasa Aat-vadaoYaamauLo gaBa-saMBavaat ADqaLo yaotat.
ina:saMtana yaaoga :
1. gau$ hYa-la yautI pMcamasqaanaI va SainacaI _YTI. mhNajaoca Saina tRtIya Ê AYTma ikMvaa laaBaat Asalyaasa %yaacaI
3. 7. 10 vaI _YTI pMcamaavar Asato.
2. gau$ rahUcaI yauit kaozlyaahI sqaanaI va pMcamaat hYa-la ikMvaa Saina Asalyaasa.
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3. makrocaa ³ 10 ´ gau$var rahU Agar kotUcaa kuyaaoga.
4. maoYaocaa ³ 1´ Saina pMcamaat va ivavaahao<ar kaLat %yaacaI mahadSaa Asalyaasa.
5. pu$Yapi~kot 3 ikMvaa 6 vyaa sqaanaI bauQa AsaUna 10 ikMvaa 11 sqaanaI Saina Asalyaasa napuMsak%va saMBavato.
6. catuqaa-maQyao 3 ikMvaa 4 papga`h sahvaasayaaogaat AsalyaasahI Asaaca PairNaama saMBavatao.
7. s~I kuMDlaIt saPtmaat Saina bauQa yauityaaogaat Asalyaasa itcaa ptI jananaxama nasaNyaacaa saMBava AiQak Asatao.
8. gau$ ¹ rahU Ê gau$ ¹ maMgaL AYTmaat Ê inapui~kpNaa dSa-ivatat.
ApMga saMttI yaaoga :
1. pMcamaoSa AYTmaat AsaUna pi~kot kaozohI QanauraSaImaQyao gau$ va rahU yaaMcaI yauit Asalyaasa.
2. pMcamaamaQyao Saina Ê rahU va gau$ yaaMcaI yauit AsaUna pMcamaoSaacaI papga`haSaI yauit Asalyaasa.
3. pMcamaoSaacaa Agar pMcamasqaanaatIla ga`haMcaa Aqavaa gau$caa rahUSaI da$Na kuyaaoga AsaUna ivavaahao<ar rahUcaI mahadSaa
AsalyaasahI ApMga saMttI saMBavato. ³ Apvaad imaqaunaocaa rahU ´
Ap%yaaMcao vaarMvaar maR%yauyaaoga :
1. pMcamaoSa i~k\sqaanaI Ê ivaSaoYat: vyayaat.
2. riva va Saina ho AMSaa%mak pìtyaaogaat AsaUna ivavaahao<ar kaLat SainacaI mahadSaa Asalyaasa.
3. caMdàvar SainakDUna da$Na kuyaaoga Asalyaasa.
4. gau$ Ê maMgaLacaI AMSaa%mak yautI.
pu~ vaa knyaa saMttI :
1. pMcamasqaana Ê pMcamaoSa va lagnaoSa yaaMcyaaSaI pu$Ya ga`haMcaa ³ riva Ê maMgaL Ê gau$ ´ saMbaMQa yaot Asaola tr pu~saMtit
hao[-la va s~I ga`haMcaa ³ caMd` va SauË´ saMbaMQa yaot Asaola tr knyaa saMttI hao[-la.
2. pMcamasqaanaI pu$YaraiSa ³1.3.5.7.9.11´ Asaola tr pu~saMtit va s~IraiSa ³2.4.6.8.10.12´ Asaola
tr knyaasaMtit hao[-la.
3. pMcamaoSa caMdàcyaa navaaMSaat Asaola tr s~I saMttI jaast haoto. pMcamaoSa maMgaLacyaa navaaMSaat Asaola tr pu$Ya saMtMtI
jaast haoto.
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4. AaQaana lagnaacaa navaaMSa ivaYama raSaIcaa Asaola Aqavaa AaQaana lagnaacyaa navaaMSa raSaIsa pu$Ya ga`h AsatIla tr
pu$YasaMttI saMBavato Anyaqaa knyaa saMttI saMBavato.
5. AaQaana lagna riva Ê caMd` va gau$ ivaYama raSaIsa ivaYama navaaMSaI Asatanaa pu~pàPtI saMBavato va samaraSaI samanavaaMSaI Asata
knyaasaMttI saMBavato. AaQaana lagnaI caMd` papga`hyau@t Aqavaa dRRYT Asata ApMgasaMttI saMBavato.
6. AaQaana lagnaacaa navaaMSaaiQaptI vaËI Asata p`sautIsa ~asa haotao.
7. gau$ ¹ rahU Ê gau$ ¹ maMgaL AYTmaat ¹ knyaasaMtit haoto.
saMtitsaMbaMQaIcao yaaoga :
1. pMcamaat rahU Ê pMcamaoSa papga`habaraobar yauitt AaiNa gau$ inaba-laI À naIcaIcaa ikMvaa papga`h gau$pasaUna va lagnaapasaUna
pMcamaat. filat : 32 va 40 vaYaI- saMttIsa Qaaoka.
2. pMcamaat gau$ va pMcamaoSaabaraobar SauË ikMvaa gau$ Baagyaat Ê SauË pMcamaat lagnaoSaabaraobar.
filat : 32 Ê 33 Ê 40 vaYaI- pu~janma haotao.
3. pMcamaoSa gau$ AaiNa riva balavaana.
filat : kt-R%vavaana maulagaa.
4. pMcamaoSa koMdàt ikMvaa i~kaoNaat.
filat : ekca maulagaa.
5. pMcamaoSa i~ksqaanaI.
filat : Ap%yayaaoga naahI. saMttIsauKat ADcaNaI.
6. maMgaL va Saina pMcamaat Ê lagnaoSa bauQaacyaa raiSat Ê bauQaabaraobar ikMvaa bauQaacaI dRRYTI ikMvaa saPtmaoSa laaBaat Ê pMcamaoSa
SauBaga`habaraobar AaiNa pMcamaat Saina ikMvaa maMgaL.
filat : maulagaa d<ak Gaotlaa jaa[-la.
7. pMcamasqaanaI rahU Ê Saina saaoDUna Anya ga`haMcyaa navamaaMSaat.
filat : puYkL saMtit.
8. gau$ Ê lagnaoSa Ê saPtmaoSa Ê pMcamaoSa inaba-laI ikMvaa naIca raSaIsa
filat : Ap%yayaaoga naahI.
9. ekca ga`h lagnaoSa va catuqao-Sa ikMvaa lagnaoSa Ê catuqao-Sa ima~ga`h ikMvaa SauBagàhaMcaI _YTI
filat : Aa[- va maulaaMt pòma va salaao#yaacao saMbaMQa.
10. lagnaoSa va catuqao-Sa bauQa papga`habaraobar ikMvaa _YTIt.
filat : Aa[-caa WoYa krtIla. ha yaaoga imaqauna lagna Asalyaasaca Sa@ya Aaho.
6
11. maUL gau$ gaaocar SauËaSaI navaPaMcama krtao tovha saMttI haoto.
12. pMcamasqaanaavar Saina Ê rahUcaI _YTI Asata knyaa AiQak haotat va d<akivaQaanaacaa yaaoga haotao.
13. pMcamasqaanaI kuMBaocaa riva Ap%yahInata dSa-ivatao.
14. pMcamaat h + maM Ê maM + ko Ê maM + ra Ê Sa + maM yauit Asata maRtsaMtit saMBavato.
15. gau$ + maMgaL yautI pMcamaat saMttI jagaU dot naahI.
16. pMcamaat imaqaunaocaa maMgaL Asata 1 lao Ap%ya maRt saMBavato.
17. pMcamasqaanaI vaayauraSaIt ³ 3. 7. 11 ´ caMd` Asata pu~saMtit haot naahI.
18. s~I kuMDlaIt lagnaoSa AYTmaat va pMcamaoSa i~ksqaanaI ikMvaa pMcamaoSa va AYTmaoSaacaa Anyaaonyayaaoga Asata p`saUitsa ~asa
saMBavatao.
ga`haMcaI saMtitivaYayak flao :
riva : pMcamaat ¹ p`qama pu~ Jaalyaasa jagat naahI. pMcamaat hYa-layau@t ¹ saMttIsa ApGaat. saMttISaI BaaMDNao.
jalaraSaIt Ê isaMhraSaIt gau$yau@t ¹ saMttI jaast.
caMd` pMcamaat : caaMgalao saaO#ya dotao. Pàqama knyaa yaaoga.
maMgaL pMcamaat : saMttIcyaa _YTInao Apayakark Ê p`saUtIs~asa Ê gaBa-pat. saMttISaI pTt naahI. maulao svatM~ vaR<aIcaI.
hYa-la Ê Saina. naopcyaUna yau@t ¹ A%yaMt vaa[-T. pu~Saaok Ê pu~icaMta.
maMgaL ¹ rahU ¹ saMttIsa SaarIrIk vaOgauNya dotao.
bauQa : pMcamaat ¹ ekTa saMttI kmaI.
bauQa Saina ¹ saMttI naahI.
gau$ pMcamaat ¹ Sainayau@t ¹ ]iSara saMttI Ê inapui~kpNaa.
gau$ maMgaL ¹ Aaiqa-k baabatIt maulaaMSaI pTt naahI.
gau$ rahU À kotU ¹ maukI baihrI vyaMga saMttI.
navamasqaanaat papga`h Asata ¹ saMttI Saaok.
makrocaa gau$ ¹ saMttI sauKriht.
AYTmaat gau$ ¹ rahU Ê gau$ ¹ maMgaL ¹ f@t knyaasaMtit vaa inapui~kpNaa. AYTmaat papga`hyau@t ¹ saMttIsa vaa[-T.
SauË pMcamaat ¹ saMttI caaMgalaI va huSaar knyaasaMttI jaast.
AYTmaat ¹ saMttI caaMgalaI nasato.
Baagyaat ¹ tRtIya saMttI knyaa. saMttIpasaUna sauK.
7
Saina pMcamaat ¹ ]SaIra saMttI dotao. daona saMttIt AMtr. papga`habaraobar ¹ saMttI naahI.
hYa-la pMcamaat ¹ gaBa-pat Ê gaBaa-Saya ivakRit Ê p`saUit ~asakark Ê Aa^proSananaMtr janma.
rahU ¹ pMcamaat . vyaMgapUNa- saMttI. saMttI haot naahI.
kotU pMcamaat : saMttI haot naahI. pIDadayak saMttI.
14 / Tips for Establishing & Improving Relationship
Preface
We can develop better relationship with others if we understand their entry in our life.
A person may come into your life for a ‘reason, for a season or for a life.’ If this focus is clear,
we can decide our relationship pattern.
A person may enter your life for a ‘reason’ when you need him for your help. You may call the
person by any name or he may be a stranger or from your family. When the necessary help is
rendered, the relationship may get broken in spite of your good behaviour. You should be
ready for such eventuality. No point doing post mortem of your behaviour and his behaviour.
Some people come into your life for a ‘season.’ You will learn from these persons many things.
These persons will share their experience, knowledge with you and try to enrich your life.
You will have unbelievable joy and happiness in their company. But please remember that this
association is only for a ‘season.’
Some people enter your life for lifetime. You need to take special efforts for building up such
relationship. You may need to show more consistency, tolerance etc. in nursing such
relationship. Good relationships are like Trees. They demand attention & care in the beginning
but once they blossom, they provide you shade in all situations of life.
So whenever you march towards establishing relationship, first decide whether this person
has entered your life ‘for a reason, for a season or for a life.’
In the light of above discussion, let us try and formulate the Tips for establishing & improving
relationship.
i)
Relationship is born simultaneously with our birth.
ii)
Our entry in this world creates various relationship whether we like them or
not at a latter stage in our life.
iii)
If we wish to have cordial relationship with others, it is necessary to cultivate the
Relationship on same footing. e.g. We must forget our education, designation,
status, while dealing with spouse, children, parents, friends etc.
iv)
2
Relationship is a complex phenomenon.
v)
One should remember that we are all Guests in this world. We don’t know our last
moment/breath in this world then why not try and develop cordial relationship
with others.
Various Relationships with...
Children
Spouse
Older Parents
Friends
Colleagues
Common Tips
i)
Let there be spaces in your relationship.
ii)
Give respect to get respect.
iii)
All fingers are not alike.
iv)
Each person inherits good and bad qualities.
v)
Your behavior with any one should be the replica of your expectation of their
behavior with you.
vi)
Respect individuality.
vii)
Always remember that our opinions change from time to time.
viii)
We all need each other.
ix)
No body is perfect.
x)
When you are angry, criticize the behavior, not the person.
xi)
Human being is a social ‘ANIMAL.’
Children
i)
The relationship with children gives immense joy at least when they are small.
ii)
Parenthood is the ‘testing phase of married life.’
iii)
Parents do not leave any stone unturned to give best to their children.
iv)
However our acts and deeds should be motive less and should arise from our
duty & responsibility.
v)
We should not look at the relationship as an investment for our old age.
3
Tips-Children
i)
You should always encourage your children to express their feelings.
ii)
Establish clear limits on their behavior.
iii)
You should act as a Role Model for improving their behavior.
iv)
Praise should be used to promote good behavior.
v)
You should respect your child’s choices, unless they endanger safety or health.
vi)
Criticize incorrect/ bad behavior or action, not the child.
vii)
Set clear and consistent rules. Parents should agree on rules.
viii)
Goals set should be within reach of your child.
ix)
Make it a habit to spend some time every day with your children.
x)
Pay undivided attention when your children talk to you.
xi)
Encourage your child to always do their best, and emphasize that what is
Important is efforts, not the success.
Spouse
i)
Marriage is the most difficult decision which most of the persons take relying
solely on ‘fate.’
ii)
Decision is tougher for the lady.
iii)
Marriage is like a ‘Ladoo’. Whosoever eats also repents as much as who
doesn’t eat.
Tips-Spouse
i)
ii)
iii)
Feel free to discuss you problem.
iv)
Spend time with each other.
v)
Expectations from spouse should be realistic.
vi)
Never take each other for granted.
vii)
Good points of the spouse should be remembered.
viii)
Think of the two as a TEAM.
4
Older Parents
i)
Our relationship with parents varies as we grow.
ii)
We all carry high opinion about our parents when we are small.
iii)
We soon dislike our parents as more restrictions are placed on us as we grow old.
iv)
When we get married and become parents, we start realizing the challenges faced
by our parents and real meaning of their behavior those days gets unfolded.
v)
When we grow old, our original childhood belief gets confirmed that our parents
are really great.
Tips-Older Parents
i)
You should stand by your parents in periods of transition such as retirement,
death, illness etc.
ii)
Share your feelings with your parents.
iii)
Be sensitive & understanding towards your parents and their needs.
iv)
Express & show your gratitude for all that they have done for you.
v)
Make them feel that they are special and they matter to you.
vi)
Forgive your parents for their shortcomings.
vii)
If your parents are living with you then spend some time with them every day.
viii)
Even if they are not staying with you, make it a point to visit them regularly, talk
on telephone etc.
ix)
If you disagree with them on current issue then make them aware politely of same.
Friends
i)
Every person should have friends of various levels to fill the gap in his life.
ii)
Many times we face such situations which can not be discussed with parents,
spouse, colleagues etc. as each one of them have some stake in you and hence you
may be deprived from getting correct advice. Friendship shows the road ahead in
such situations.
Tips-Friends
i)
Let there be spaces in your friendship.
ii)
Lose the fight not the friend.
iii)
Accept your friend’s flaws.
iv)
5
Keep in touch even if you are far away. Distance shouldn’t keep real friends apart.
v)
Be loyal and committed.
vi)
Never reveal your friend’s secrets to a third person.
vii)
It is not necessary to reveal each and every detail of your life to your friend.
viii)
Learn to forgive.
Colleagues
i)
As we spend our major part of Life in the office, it imperative that we should have
healthy relationship with our colleagues.
ii)
When colleagues get along and like each other, going to work can become the great
pleasure.
Tips-Colleagues
i)
Feelings play pivotal role in giving insight about people and their behavior.
ii)
It is necessary that you should trust others in the environment as much as you trust
your self.
iii)
Good point in a colleague should be acknowledged even if you don’t like him.
iv)
One should be emotionally honest with oneself. Every day make it a practice to
write for 5 minutes as to how you feel about your self and the surrounding world.
v)
You should not shirk from your actions and emotions.
vi)
Pay attention to the feedback from your colleagues and client’s from their nonverbal signals.
vii)
Give respect to gain respect.
viii)
Your behavior with colleagues should be the replica of your expectation of
behavior from others.
Few Words from Compiler….
i)
Relationship is a complex phenomenon and any laid down principles may still fail
because after all each person is unique and for building cordial relationship you
need similar thinking from opposite camp.
ii)
You need two hands for ‘Clapping’ but need only one hand for ‘Chutki.’
iii)
Why not make an attempt?
iv)
Best of Luck!!!!!
15-Behaviour Therapy for would be Brides:
A
Why such Behaviour Therapy was developed?
1
‘Relationship’ is born simultaneously with our birth. Relationship is a complex
phenomenon. Our entry in this world creates various relationships whether we like
them or not at a latter stage in our life.
2
relationship on same footing.(equality complex) e.g. We must forget our education,
designation, status while dealing with spouse, children, parents, friends, In-laws etc.
3
moment in this world. Then why not try and develop cordial relationship with others.
4
Every girl makes all compromises on her marriage. She leaves her house, her near and
dear ones with whom she has stayed for years together and joins husband's family of
unknown species. She takes this bold decision purely trusting her ‘would be
husband.’ In fact he is the only person to whom she claims that she knows a bit and if
her expectations and assumptions are not met, she gets mentally depressed. Husband’s
status/value literally falls in her mind though again she can not discuss this with
anyone openly. Even her parents will try and blame her only.
5
I am aware that developing any relationship is a long drawn process. You can vouch
for this statement from the fact that how our relationship with parents has taken
‘swings’ over the years and it will be a bold statement to make that relationship has
now settled.
6
As stated earlier that Relationship is a complex phenomena and any number of laid
down principles may still fail because after all each person is unique. Moreover
building cordial relationship you need similar thinking from opposite camp as well.
7
If your relationship gets clicked spontaneously, then nothing likes it. But there is no
guarantee that it would so happen. Hence you must try to establishment relationship
by adhering to various Tips listed below. Why not make an attempt to develop
relationship professionally instead of relying on your mood /ringing of bells in your
mind?
8
We don’t like every person around us but still for the sake formality we tolerate him
up to the point. You will agree that in office we wish our boss, colleagues etc. though
2
we may not like them. We do it under the tag ‘Job compromise’. If that is the case, why
not apply the same formality in dealing with In-Laws. (An irreversible decision with
your marriage.)
9
Although this Therapy has been prescribed to would be ‘Brides’ but any daughter-inlaw can start following this therapy depending upon the circumstances to redevelop,
mould, reconcile relationship with In-laws. In fact many of the above Tips can be
successfully used to improve relationships with people.
10
These Tips have been prepared based on my experience as counsellor and observations
of people from childhood. It was my good fortune that I came across many people who
taught ‘How not to behave.’ I express my sincere thanks to them.
11
I am aware that few Tips have been deliberately repeated to drive the importance.
12
This Article has been dedicated to the fond memory of my Late Aai Smt. Shantabai
M. Vaidya (Born on 19-09-1919 & expired on 26-10-2004. She would have completed
90 years today.)
B
Anomalies of Marriage and Social Customs:
1
Human being is considered as most intellectual ‘Animal’ in the universe. He can use
his brain, can think from various angles, knows the risk factors, can analyze costbenefits of his actions etc. If it is so, his behaviour is supposed to be consistent, rational
etc. But we observe in day to day life that it is not so. It is necessary to have insight of
‘Anomalies of human behaviour’ in respect of Marriage & social customs. There is
no point in nursing the grudge in respect of same at a later date. I cast upon you the
duty to change / mould these customs in your personal life. I have already broken
many in my Life.
2
Bride’s name given by her parents is changed by her husband. (How many husbands
will be ready to change their name after marriage?) (However Ladies with established
social career before marriage rightly use both names after marriage.)
3
Marriage is usually performed by adhering to Age old religious rituals without taking
pains to understand the logic behind such Age old rituals. (In fact it is the prestige
point for parents of both sides that their ‘so called educated kids’ agreed to get
married traditionally.) (I feel that One should always do what one believes.)
4
Why the proportion of divorce has increased over the years in spite of getting married
traditionally? (Is it because that no attention is given to Mantras and expected
behaviour of a couple after marriage / marriage oath explained by ‘Guruji’?)
5
3
Why even daily ‘Puja’ (worship of GOD) is not performed after marriage?
(Daily routine Puja may not take more than 15 minutes in the morning.
Understandable, because the subject of ‘Time management’ is not given its due
importance by young generation.)
6
Husband can perform any religious rituals even after death of his beloved wife.
But why widow is not given similar right openly to perform religious rituals such as
marriage of her kids, Satyanarayan Puja etc.) Widow is not invited to Married Ladies
get together. Is it that lady has no social value after death of her husband? At the same
time she has a social value even if her husband is not looking after the family and is a
victim of bad habits.
7
Remarriage by a widow is looked down upon by the ‘Society’ but the ‘Society
encourages remarriage of a husband after death of his wife. (Obviously you need
somebody to take care of his kids.) When the same need arises for a widow, then why
different opinion?
8
Suffix to the girl’s name always suggests her marital status. (e.g. Miss, Mrs., Smt.)
Why no such facility for knowing his marital status? (e.g. Master, Mr. does not indicate
his married status.)
9
Married lady is supposed to wear ‘Mangalsutra’ to indicate to the world at large that
her husband is alive. Why no such compulsion of wearing ‘Chain’ after marriage to
indicate that he is married and his wife is alive. (How many husbands would be ready
to follow this?)
10
Husband expects that wife should take care of his parents. Whether wife gets the same
right to expect that husband should also take care of her own parents?
11
Husband can give financial help to his parents but wife has no such open right to offer
financial assistance to her parents. (In fact parents from both sides have not left any
stone unturned to offer best of every thing to their kids.)
12
There is an age old tussle between ‘Mother-in-law’ (Sasu) & ‘Daughter-in-law’ (Sun).
I will unfold the secret that ‘Sasu’ means ‘Sarakhya suchana’ (Continuous instructions)
and ‘Sun’ means ‘Suchana nakota.’(Instructions should not be given.) (It is expected
that both should perform balancing act in giving and listening instructions.) (In fact
nobody becomes small by following useful instructions given for their own
betterment.)
4
C
Anomalies of Family matters:
1
It is also necessary to have insight of ‘Anomalies of human behaviour’ in respect of
Family matters. There is no point in nursing the grudge in respect of same at a later
date.
2
Mother-in-law looking after household work till day of marriage expects her daughterin-law to take over the said responsibilities from the very next day after marriage.
3
Mother-in-law applies different measuring rods for daughter & daughter-in-law.
4
Man talks about equality in rights and duties but does not like to assit his wife in
household chores.
5
To avoid / run away from tension, a man resorts to bad habits such as tobacco,
smoking or drinking, but does not like if his spouse acquiring these bad habits.
(When husband becomes pray of bad habits, how wife should counter her tension
due to this?)
6
A husband expects his wife to adjust with family members when he himself had spent
good time in adjustment with his own family members.
7
Head of the family talking ‘Shreya’ matters is not liked by junior members.
(Shreya means what is good for the person. Such advice is usually bitter.)
Every one likes to listen ‘Preya’ or ‘Sweet’ advice.)
8
A well educated person wants to marry qualified and earning girl. But on getting
married, wife is expected to leave the job to look after the house. (Or home?)
9
A young man wearing spectacles or contact lens wants to marry a girl with good eye
sight.
10
We get restless on getting fat electricity bill and shout on our kids for waste of
electricity by watching TV for long hours, playing computer games, taking printouts
and throwing them in dust bin etc; but we ourselves forget to switch off the fan, tube
light, AC etc. on moving out of the room.
11
In many communities Puja is not complete without offering milk, coconuts, food
grains etc. to GOD (by whatever name called). (Is it not possible to give these offerings
to a needy person?)
12
God does not stay in temple but stays /hides himself in every person. (We seldom try
to recognize this GOD and spend our time and energy in offering prayer to the God in
the temple.) (Kindly excuse me if somebody’s sentiments are hurt.)
13
Young generation do not think while making ‘mistakes’ before marriage but thereafter
5
keep thinking all the time as to how to hide the same from the Life partner. (It is
needless to say that husband-wife relationship should be transparent.)
D
How to avoid conflict?
1
now settled. In view of this reality, if you are successful in avoiding the Conflict to
start with, I would say that half the battle is won.
2
Hence I intend to touch upon ‘Conflict Management.’ Conflict is part of our LIFE.
We may not be fortunate to avoid all conflicts but we can certainly try to manage them
well in time. Understanding reasons of conflict & acceptance of conflict etc. are most
essential for its management.
3
We must first understand the main reasons for conflict:
3.1
Unmet needs and wants. (Unmet wants could be physical, mental etc.)
3.2
Values: Our values drive our behavior. Our values may differ about time, work,
health, relationship, spending habits etc.
3.3
Perceptions: There are always three sides to any matter/ problem.
3.4
Knowledge: The information or knowledge given or not given may cause conflict.
3.5
Assumptions: We make assumptions on what we know. Conflict may take place when
assumptions are not checked for accuracy or are not updated periodically.
3.6
Expectations: Conflict may occur when we do not know each other’s expectations.
Expectations should be made known in clear terms to each other. Sooner the better.
3.7
Growing up differently: Each generation views life and work differently.
3.8
Willingness and ability to deal with conflicts.
3.9
Three personalities are hidden in every individual, namely Parent, Adult and Child.
These personalities keep changing from time to time and from situation to situation.
When two persons happen to be in similar personalities say Adult while dealing, then
the chances of conflict are remote.
E
Recommended Reading from www.spandane.com Æ Spandane Articles.
1
In fact all Spandane Articles will enrich your LIFE but you should at least read the
following Spandane Articles from www.spandane.com.
Article 18 - Shivamuth
6
Article 36 - Consultant
Article 44 – PERT / CPM
Article 51 – MOL - DIL
Article 53 – Communication Skills
Article 55 – Time Management
Article 61 – Anger Management
Article 70 – Conflict Management
Article 71 – ABJ / TTP Technique
Article 79 – Spandane The Art of Living
Article 83 – Change yourself, not the world
Article 84 – Anomalies of Human behaviour
Article 10 – Marriage expectations –Opinions & checklist (Event Management section)
F
Common Tips:
1
2
Give respect to get respect. Due respect has to be given without any expectations.
3
4
5
Your behavior with any one should be the replica of your expectation of their behavior
with you.
6
7
8
9
No body is perfect.
10
11
G
Tips- Relationship with Husband:
G-1
Introduction:
¾ Marriage is the most difficult decision which most of the persons take relying solely
on fate. Decision is tougher for the lady.
¾ Marriage is like a ‘Ladoo’. Whosoever eats also repents as much as who doesn’t eat.
7
G-2
Specific Tips- Relationship with Husband:
1
2
3
Feel free to discuss you problem.
4
Spend time with each other in the capacity of a Friend.
5
6
7
8
9
Every person should have friends of various levels to fill the gap in his life. Many
times we face such situations which can not be discussed with parents, spouse,
colleagues etc. as each one of them have some stake in you and hence you may be
deprived from getting correct advice. Friendship shows the road ahead in such
situations. Make your husband as your ‘best friend’ with whom you should be in a
position to discuss anything & everything.
H
Before you make an attempt to establish relationship with In-Laws:
¾ Before you make an attempt to establish relationship with In-Laws, it is not of place
to consider your graph of relationship with your own parents. Please remember that
you can change overnight.
1
Our relationship with parents varies as we grow.
2
We all carry high opinion about our parents when we are small.
3
We soon dislike our parents as more restrictions are placed on us as we grow old.
4
When we get married and become parents, we start realizing the challenges faced by
our parents and real meaning of their behavior those days gets unfolded.
5
When we grow old, our original childhood belief gets confirmed that our parents are
really great.
I
Specific Tips- Relationship with In-Laws:
1
You should stand by your In-Laws in periods of transition such as retirement, death,
illness etc.
2
Share your feelings with your In-Laws.
3
Be sensitive & understanding towards your In-Laws and their needs.
4
8
Express & show your gratitude for all that they have done for your husband & You.
5
6
Forgive your In-Laws for their shortcomings as you also forgive your parents.
7
If your In-Laws are living with you then spend some time with them every day.
8
Even if they are not staying with you, make it a point to visit them regularly, talk on
telephone preferably at a fixed time etc.
9
J
What views / perceptions you should carry about LIFE?: (My Recommendations)
¾ I am aware that you also must be having views and perceptions about LIFE but
might not have documented the same. I suggest that you must make an attempt to
list them for your good. Some of the time tested views, perceptions and realities of
Life have been listed below for your ready reference. These views in fact give reply
to our strange behaviour at times.
1
You may not get what you want in Life but you can certainly love what you get in
Life.
2
You should not carry any complex either inferior or superior. You should carry
equality complex.
3
You should ‘mean’ what you say but you may not ‘say’ what you mean unless called
for.
4
You should believe in individuality.
5
You should honour every person’s ideas and skills.
6
You should always try to do what is right.
7
You should constantly exchange information and knowledge and keep optimum
amount of transparency in your dealings.
8
You should constantly look for every opportunity to learn.
9
You should look at every thing first from brain and subsequently from heart.
10
You should consider Saving as first charge on income.
11
You should not ignore signals. (Take macro meaning)
12
Happiness lies in MIND.
13
You should constantly practice that our mind should rule our body and intelligence
should rule our mind.
14
You should try to break outdated barriers in life.
15
You should exercise control over ‘Hurry’ ‘Worry’ and ‘Curry’.
16
9
You should take pride in doing household chores.
17
You should try to do Right thing at a Right time and in Right proportion.
18
You should do retrospection at periodic intervals.
19
You should try to balance cost and benefits in every matter.
20
You should either don’t carry EGO or try to keep the EGO under control.
21
You should believe that you owe some obligations to society.
22
You should always do PLANNING before taking any action, decision etc. (Take macro
meaning)
K
Tips: (Not necessarily in the order of importance). In fact all Tips are important.
You may have to make some variation according to the situation.
1
If you happen to dislike the person, do not cross him out. Instead try to develop
relationship by adhering to the following principles based on new technique of
‘One Tick and Two Cross’ and of creating ‘Goodwill’. Kindly read these Tips
carefully and simultaneously think as how you would generate ‘Goodwill / achieving
One Tick and use it for double crossing’. Please remember that I am not trying to
instigate you against your In-Laws but having landed with the new relationship,
I am trying to guide as to how you can still swim against the Tide. Always consider as
to how you would react before you march towards establishing relationship /
applying these Tips.
2
You must learn minimum cooking from mother well before marriage.
3
Carry your telephone diary containing addresses, telephone numbers etc. of your
relatives.
4
Your personal important papers (such as passing certificates, degrees, school leaving
certificate, passport, and financial investments) need not be carried immediately after
marriage but should be left with Parents.
5
You need not make hurry in changing nomination on LIC policies, TDRs etc. in favour
of husband. The same may be done after a year. Observe whether he is initiating such
steps?
6
Request your husband to open bank account jointly with you. You should also open
another bank account in your name jointly with husband. Account should be operated
E/S. Safe deposit Locker in a bank should also be hired to keep your gold ornaments
etc.
7
Make an attempt to avoid conflict.
8
10
Make Strength, Weakness, Opportunities & Threats (SWOT) Analysis of your self,
husband and In-Laws. You may refer Books sectionÆsub-section Management of
www.spandane.com.
9
Seek permission to call Mother-in-law as ‘Mom’. Similarly seek permission to call
‘Father-in-Law’ as ‘Papa’. Ascertain whether In-Laws have any objection if you wish to
call your husband by name. Of course you also need to seek permission from your
husband to call him by name.
10
If you wish that your name should not be changed after marriage, then speck well in
advance with In-Laws and husband in respect of same.
11
In case you have no objection to change of name, then take initiative to suggest the
new name of your choice.
12
Prepare a Table of Birthdays, Marriage anniversaries, Death anniversaries etc. of near
relatives of your husband along with contact numbers, mobile numbers, Email IDs etc.
13
Identify weak / sensitive points of your husband, In-Laws. Relationship gets
developed very fast when you pamper the person on his weak / sensitive point.
14
GOD has given 2 eyes. 2 ears but only 1 mouth. Obviously I am suggesting that
initially you should talk less.
15
Diplomatically enquire with In-Laws about your husband’s childhood days, his likes,
dislikes, preferences, friends, hobbies etc. You can make use of this information to win
over or control. You may also request them to show childhood snaps if available to
judge the development in his personality over the years. You should cross verify this
information diplomatically with husband.
16
Diplomatically enquire with your husband about In-Laws. (Their likes, dislikes,
preferences, friends, hobbies, relatives etc.) You should cross verify this information
diplomatically with In-Laws.
17
Ascertain the relationship between Father-in-Law and Mother-in-Law and with your
husband. Whether husband is under their influence or vice versa?
18
Make all out efforts to create Goodwill.
19
Keep optimum Transparency in your dealings and speech.
20
Develop ability to say ‘NO’. But ‘No’ approach should be resorted as a last resort.
Don’t allow any one to take undue advantage of yours including your husband.
21
You should have sense of proportion in every respect. You should always know what
is call of the hour / day?
22
If your relationship gets clicked spontaneously, then nothing like it. But there is no
11
guarantee that it would happen. Hence you must try to establishment relationship by
following ‘Formality’.
23
Create ‘Back up’. Any talk with In-Laws should be informed to husband before he gets
to know the same from In-Laws and vice versa. Develop cordial relationship with
husband’s brother, sister as back up.
24
Have you studied ‘Gobels Principle? Any false information hammered repeatedly is
believed. Do not follow this. Use the principle to tell the ‘Truth’ because many people
find it difficult to digest even the Truth in one go and Truth needs to be hammered.
25
Are you aware of the story of ‘Monkey and her kids’ told and proved by ‘Birbal’ to
‘Badshah’? Do not go out of the way to provide service even to your husband.
26
Respect the person irrespective of age to get respect.
27
Do not lie or tell half truth. Do not cover your husband. Don’t lie on his behalf. Do
not justify husband if he is wrong.
28
Inform husband before you wish to discuss controversial matter with In-Laws.
Ask him to speak to his parents. If he does not oblige, then you get moral right to talk
directly and he can not blame you for that.
29
Seek opinions as a formality. You will experience that generally you will not be
confronted on face and hence you can use this as a shield in case future problems
/contradictory remark is passed on you.
30
Motivate In-Laws, husband to pursue hobbies, dreams etc. Help them to achieve the
same. Your goodwill will get generated permanently.
31
Share anything good. Say a good book, good article in a magazine/ newspaper, tasty
food, good entertainment programme etc.
32
Spend some time with In-Laws specifically.
33
Don’t argue. You will only land up hurting feelings. You must agree to disagree.
34
Be polite in your talk. Avoid Gossip and loose talk.
35
Discuss your dress code before hand with In-Laws and husband.
36
Every one is right in his own way but please remember that your right should not be
at the cost of some body’s right (not even your husband).
37
Any problem in Life should be accepted first, then if possible justify and finally you
may blame some body or your fate.
38
Any thing is possible in ‘Theory’. But it is also necessary to look into the ‘Technical’
feasibility and finally ‘Practical’ possibility.
39
Do not compare People, Luck, Wealth etc.
12
40
Do not be jealous.
41
Do Time Management. Spend time judiciously keeping in mind your goals.
Keep certain time for relaxation, hobbies, reading, meditation, exercise etc.
42
Do not compare your husband with your brothers, friends etc. No body is perfect.
43
You should master the Art of deriving 100 % satisfaction in 50 % inputs.
44
Do not try to change the routine on your own. First analyze the reasons for adopting
that pattern of routine, discuss the same with In-Laws.
45
You should manage your ‘Financial Matters’. You may inform husband about it but
refrain from seeking his advice unless he is professionally qualified to give advice.
46
Assist your husband in looking after his Financial matters such payment of LIC, PPF
etc. You will automatically get his financial info.
47
Discuss about Financial Goals, views about addition to family etc. in clear terms with
your husband.
48
You should be able to identify ‘Primary’ (i.e. direct) and ‘Collateral’ (i.e. indirect)
responsibility.
49
Do not go out of your way to impress In-Laws and husband.
50
Any discussion with husband should be done when his stomach is full. You will get
better response. Do not open controversial topics at night. Just seek his appointment.
He will insist to discuss right away. But refrain yourself. If he starts guessing your
mood & the matter, then be assured that you have won half the battle.
51
Relationship is like a rubber band. You must know the limit up to which the same
should be strained. After all we need each other. Dispute should not be carried too far.
There should be an escape route to reconcile.
52
Initially you should telephone your parents in presence of your In-Laws. This will
create confidence in their mind that you are happy and not complaining about them to
your parents. Subsequently you may telephone from mobile in case you really want to
complain.
53
Please remember that you can win your husband if his stomach is made happy to start
with.
54
Discuss about Lunch /Dinner programme openly with Mother-in-law to avoid dispute
later. You may enquire about taste preference etc. You can definitely prepare your
choice dish on a small scale. You may offer sample for testing. The movement they
realize that new dish is not thrust on them, their response will be positive.
55
Do not give out of the way impression of happiness openly. It is difficult to judge
13
persons in very few days.
56
Please remember that ‘Silence’ and ‘smile’ are two powerful tools. One tries to avoid
the problem and one tries to solve the problem. Master the timing for its use.
57
Do not lose sight of ‘Woman Power.’ She can handle trouble and carry heavy burdens.
She holds happiness, love, and opinions. She smiles when she feels like screaming.
She sings when she feels like crying. She cries when she is happy and laughs when she
is afraid. Her love is unconditional. There is only one thing wrong with her.
She sometimes forgets what she is worth. Don’t forget your worth.
L
I have already given few practical examples in above Tips. Now let me demonstrate
the concept of ‘Goodwill’ & ‘One Tick Two Cross’ specifically. I am sure that readers
would have already understood / thought over the concept, but for the sake of
completeness, I am giving few Live examples to drive my point.
1
You should tell In-laws when you leave house (or home) and also inform by what time
you would come and where you are going. (Unless you going to office). Your in-laws
can not complain afterwards that you do not have discipline. You can not be blamed
for late coming because you have already told expected time of returning and there can
always be delay in commuting.
2
Enquire as to which vegetables are preferred before doing kitchen shopping. You can
not be blamed for forcing the change in food habits and preferences. You can always
purchase one-two vegetables of your choice, for which no body would object.
3
In case you decide to go for the movie / shopping, request your husband to inform
/seek permission from his parents. Even then, next day just enquire casually as to
whether your husband has informed them of movie / shopping programme? Your inlaws may not blame their son for not informing but would comment on you for not
informing. If your husband has a problem of keeping liaison with his parents, then he
would have sigh of relief.
You are indirectly displaying to in-Laws as to how
disciplined you are.
4
Wish your husband’s close relatives such as brothers, sisters, uncle, Aatya (father-inlaw’s sister) etc. on their birthdays, wedding anniversary etc. It will be to their surprise
but you would create Goodwill. If your husband is not particular in this respect, your
goodwill value will double. You may either telephone, send SMS or email.
5
Whenever you do shopping, make it a point to purchase something for your In-laws.
They will be very happy because of your remembrance. Your cost of shopping for them
14
would be your investment in Goodwill.
6
In case your In-laws are old, then they might have fear for operating electronic gadgets
such as washing machine, oven, mixer, food processor, mobile, TV remote etc.
Just impart this knowledge as a friend and see how exited hey would be. They would
realize that it is not very difficult. Human being by very nature likes to learn.
Who knows that they might start helping you whenever you use these equipments?
Even otherwise you have already scored the point.
7
Similarly share with them the excitement of Internet. Show them the various locations,
snaps etc., explain the advantage of internet and its search engine. I am sure they will
be very excited and it quite likely that their son would have never shared this
information.
8
If they are fond of reading, please suggest the names of good books. If possible, start
library for them and offer service of changing books etc. This will give you an
opportunity to have evening walk (in case you are not serving.) Let me remind you
that List of books worth reading is also available on my website ‘www.spandane.com’.
I am sure that In-Laws will be impressed.
9
In case you are not serving and your husband returns late from the office, then take
mother-in-law for a walk say 2-3 days in a week. She will be very excited. Her health
will also improve. (Long term advantage for you.) You will also get opportunity to
comment on good health habits and propose some changes in food habits. You can
refer Medical section of www.spandane.com for such Tips.
10
In case you have gone on a week end trip. Then make it a point to inform about safe
reaching. (Old aged parents always worry about their kids.) Do telephone once or
twice a day; enquire about their lunch, sleep, health etc. See for yourself how you will
be welcomed on your arrival.
11
Wish Goodnight to In-laws. Keep pain balm, hot water, usual medicines etc. near their
bed. They won’t disturb you at night. Look at it as a goodwill measure.
12
The above list is only illustrative. I request you to keep this ‘Goodwill aspect’ in your
dealings. This goodwill can be used at a later date for marking ‘Two crosses’ in case of
dispute. You can boost that you have carried out every duty and you are not ready to
accept any trifle allegations.
13
You will realize that underlying principle I wish to highlight is of Professional
/determined approach for developing relationships. If you are good natured lady by
birth, then you don’t even have to read these Tips. But just compare your behaviour
15
with your parents. Can you change overnight on reaching In-Laws residence?
Reply would be obviously ‘No’ and hence you must develop a systematic approach
for developing relationship.
14
We don’t like every person around us but still for the sake formality we tolerate him up
to the point. You will agree that in office we wish our Boss, colleagues etc. though we
may not like them. We do it under the tag ‘Job compromise’. If that is the case, why not
apply the same formality in dealing with In-Laws. (An irreversible decision with your
marriage.)
M
How to avoid Family Stress:
1
Jagi sarva sukhi asa kon ahe vichari mana tuchi shodhoni pahe….Ramdas Swami.
(There is no body in this world who is happy in all respects)
2
Every one carries/ faces stress. Nature of stress varies from person to person. It is born
with your birth & continues till your death. Every happiness & luxury has element of
inbuilt stress. Today this subject has acquired great importance. World has changed
over the years. New inventions have resulted in saving of human energy and time.
Now the question is whether the man and his sentiments have changed?
The answer is NO. Man’s basic nature is of happiness and every one makes all out
efforts to seek happiness but the problem is that he does not know as to where he will
get happiness.
3
Most people find it difficult to define stress, yet they experience it often. Stress can be
defined as an excessive demand on physical and mental energy, often leading to anger,
anxiety, distress, fear, irritability and frustration.
¾ In the light of this background, I intend to give few Tips to avoid Family Stress.
4
You must acquire skill to stay at home as a Guest.
5
Please remember that Every person has an Ego.
6
Please remember that Every person has Individuality.
7
Do your own work.
8
Help other family members.
9
Cultivate Apathy.
10
Give respect to get Respect.
11
Forget your office designation at home.
12
Forget your educational achievements at home while dealing with family members.
16
N
Disclaimer:
1
I do not claim that this Article is full proof but I am confident that careful reading can
certainly assist you as a Torch in exploring unknown jungle of new relationship.
2
Relationship is a complex phenomena and any number of laid down principles may
still fail because after all each person is unique. Moreover building cordial relationship
you need similar thinking from opposite camp as well. You need two hands for
‘Clapping’ but need only one hand for ‘Chutki.’
3
Why not make an attempt to develop relationship professionally instead of relying on
your mood /ringing of bells in your mind?
4
In fact many of the above Tips can be successfully used to improve relationships with
people.
5
Best of Luck. I request the readers to share their experiences to make this Article as
elaborative as possible. Email may be sent to [email protected].
Compiled by Spandane (www.spandane.com) Saturday, September 19, 2009
16-Behaviour Therapy for would be Bridegroom:
A
Why such Behaviour Therapy was developed?
1
‘Relationship’ is born simultaneously with our birth. Relationship is a complex
phenomenon. Our entry in this world creates various relationships whether we like
them or not at a later stage in our life.
2
relationship on same footing.(equality complex) e.g. We must forget our education,
designation, status while dealing with spouse, children, parents, friends, in-laws etc.
3
moment in this world. Then why not try and develop cordial relationship with others.
4
Every girl makes compromises on her marriage. She leaves her house, her near and
dear ones with whom she has stayed for years together and joins the husband's family
unknown to her. She takes this bold decision purely trusting her ‘would be husband.’
In fact he is the only person to whom she claims that she knows a bit and if her
expectations and assumptions are not met, she gets mentally depressed. Husband’s
status/value literally falls in her mind though again she cannot discuss this with
anyone openly. Even her parents will try and blame her.
5
now settled.
6
As stated earlier that Relationship is a complex phenomena and any number of laid
down principles may still fail because after all each person is unique. Moreover
building cordial relationship, you need similar thinking from opposite side as well.
7
If your relationship gets clicked spontaneously, then nothing like it. But there is no
guarantee that it would so happen. Hence, you must try to establish the relationship by
adhering to various Tips listed below. Why not make an attempt to develop
relationship professionally instead of relying on your mood /ringing of bells in your
head?
8
We don’t like every person around us but still for the sake of formality we tolerate him
/her up to the point. You will agree that in office we wish our boss, colleagues etc.
2
though we may not like them. We do it under the tag ‘Job compromise’. If that is the
case, why not apply the same formality in dealing with In-Laws. (An irreversible
decision with your marriage.)
9
Although this Therapy has been prescribed to would be ‘Bridegroom’ but ‘Any
Bridegroom’ can start following this therapy depending upon the intention to
redevelop, mould, reconcile relationship with wife. In fact many of the above Tips can
be successfully used to improve relationships with people.
10
These Tips have been prepared based on my experience as counsellor and observations
of people from childhood. It was my good fortune that I came across many people who
taught ‘How not to behave.’ I express my sincere thanks to them.
11
12
This Article has been dedicated to the fond memory of my Late Aai Smt. Shantabai
M. Vaidya (Born on 19-09-1919 & expired on 26-10-2004. She would have completed
90 years today.)
B
Anomalies of Marriage and Social Customs:
1
Human being is considered as most intellectual ‘Animal’ in the universe. He can use
his brain, can think from various angles, knows the risk factors, can analyze costbenefits of his actions etc. If it is so, his behaviour is supposed to be consistent, rational
etc. But we observe in day to day life that it is not so. It is necessary to have insight of
‘Anomalies of human behaviour’ in respect of Marriage & social customs.
I cast upon you the duty to change / mould these customs in your personal life.
I have already broken many in my Life.
2
Bride’s name given by her parents is changed by her husband. You should discuss this
issue with your would-be wife and seek her opinion. (How many of you will be ready
to change your name after marriage?)
3
Marriage is usually performed by adhering to Age old religious rituals without taking
pains to understand the logic behind such Age old rituals. (In fact it is the prestige
point for parents of both sides that their ‘so called educated kids’ agreed to get
married traditionally.) (I feel that One should always do what one believes.) Let me
suggest that both of you should pay attention to the rituals and try to understand the
meaning of it. This will be the investment for your happy married life. If you are
getting married according to old religious rituals without paying attention, then
I would say that you are not only deceiving your parents but you are deceiving
3
yourself.
4
Why the proportion of divorce has increased over the years in spite of getting married
traditionally? (Is it because that no attention is given to Mantras and expected
behaviour of a couple after marriage / marriage oath explained by ‘Guruji’ or not
understanding the word ‘Freedom’?)
5
Why even daily ‘Puja’ (worship of GOD) is not performed after marriage?
(Daily routine Puja may not take more than 15 minutes in the morning.
Understandable, because the subject of ‘Time management’ is not given its due
importance by young generation.)
6
Husband can perform any religious rituals even after death of his beloved wife.
But why widow is not given similar right openly to perform religious rituals such as
marriage of her kids, Satyanarayan Puja etc.) Widow is not invited to Married Ladies
get together. Is it that lady has no social value after death of her husband? At the same
time she has a social value even if her husband is not looking after the family and is a
victim of bad habits. You should encourage your wife to call & give due importance
to widows in such function.
7
Husband expects that wife should take care of his parents. Whether wife gets the same
right to expect that husband should also take care of her parents? You should
definitely reciprocate and take due care of your In-Laws in case of need.
8
Husband can give financial help to his parents but wife has no such open right to offer
financial assistance to her parents. (In fact parents from both sides have not left any
stone unturned to offer best of every thing to their kids.) You should allow your wife
to give financial assistance to her parents in case of need at least.
9
There is an age old tussle between ‘Mother-in-law’ (Sasu) & ‘Daughter-in-law’ (Sun).
I will unfold the secret that ‘Sasu’ means ‘Sarakhya suchana’ (Continuous instructions)
and ‘Sun’ means ‘Suchana Nakota.’(Instructions should not be given.) (It is expected
that both should perform balancing act in giving and listening instructions.)
(In fact nobody becomes small by following useful instructions given for their own
betterment.) You should also request your In-Laws to warn you whenever you make
mistake.
4
C
Anomalies of Family matters:
1
It is also necessary to have insight of ‘Anomalies of human behaviour’ in respect of
Family matters.
2
Mother-in-law looking after household work till day of marriage expects her daughterin-law to take over the said responsibilities from the very next day after marriage.
If your Mother tries to do this, then you should stand by your wife.
3
Mother-in-law applies different measuring rods for daughter & daughter-in-law.
If you come across any such incident, you should be bold enough to discuss it out
with your Mother and should not sit on the fence.
4
Man talks about equality in rights and duties but does not like to assit his wife in
household chores. It is absolutely necessary to offer helping hand to your wife
irrespective of the fact she is employed or not.
5
To avoid / run away from tension, a man resorts to bad habits such as tobacco,
smoking or drinking, but does not like if his spouse acquiring these bad habits.
(When husband becomes prey of bad habits, how wife should counter her tension
due to this?) Becoming victim of bad habits is not the solution for any problem or
tension in Life. Instead you should share the tension with your wife. Have confidence
in your wife. She will definitely offer solution to the problem. Please remember that
your problem is her problem and her problem is your problem.
6
A husband expects his wife to adjust with family members when he himself has spent
good time in adjusting with his own family members. You must help your wife to
adjust with your family members. In fact you can give feedback of each member
about their likes, mindset, preferences, food habits etc.
7
Head of the family talking ‘Shreya’ matters is not liked by junior members.
(Shreya means what is good for the person. Such advice is usually bitter.)
Every one likes to listen ‘Preya’ or ‘Sweet’ advice.) In case your father or mother gives
such advice to your wife and she is upset, then you should convince your wife as to
how the advice is correct and is for her / our good.
8
A well educated person wants to marry qualified and earning girl. But on getting
married, wife is expected to leave the job to look after the house. (Or home?) In fact
your concept should be clear from the day one. You should discuss frankly with
would be wife before marriage to avoid her disappointment by dictating your
decision.
9
5
A young man wearing spectacles or contact lens wants to marry a girl with good eye
sight. You should think as to how far you are right in your expectation.
10
We get restless on getting fat electricity bill and shout on kids for waste of electricity by
watching TV for long hours, playing computer games, taking printouts and throwing
them in dust bin etc; but we ourselves forget to switch off the fan, tube light, AC etc. on
moving out of the room. Are you disciplined? If not start the exercise from your end
before you try to put somebody in a witness box.
11
In many communities Puja is not complete without offering milk, coconuts, food
grains etc. to GOD (by whatever name called). (Is it not possible to give these offerings
to a needy person?) You should encourage your wife to think on this aspect.
12
God does not stay in temple but stays /hides himself in every person. (We seldom try
to recognize this GOD and spend our time and energy in offering prayer to the God in
the temple.) (Kindly excuse me if somebody’s sentiments are hurt.)
13
Young generation do not think while making ‘mistakes’ before marriage but thereafter
keep thinking all the time as to how to hide the same from the Life partner.
(It is needless to say that husband-wife relationship should be transparent.)
D
How to avoid conflict?
1
now settled. In view of this reality, if you are successful in avoiding the Conflict to
start with, I would say that half the battle is won.
2
Hence I intend to touch upon ‘Conflict Management.’ Conflict is part of our LIFE.
We may not be fortunate to avoid all conflicts but we can certainly try to manage them
well in time. Understanding reasons of conflict & acceptance of conflict etc. are most
essential for its management.
3
We must first understand the main reasons for conflict:
3.1
Unmet needs and wants. (Unmet wants could be physical, mental etc.)
3.2
Values: Our values drive our behavior. Our values may differ about time, work,
health, relationship, spending habits etc.
3.3
Perceptions: There are always three sides to any matter/ problem.
3.4
Knowledge: The information or knowledge given or not given may cause conflict.
3.5
Assumptions: We make assumptions on what we know. Conflict may take place when
6
assumptions are not checked for accuracy or are not updated periodically.
3.6
Expectations: Conflict may occur when we do not know each other’s expectations.
Expectations should be made known in clear terms to each other. Sooner the better.
3.7
Growing up differently: Each generation views life and work differently.
3.8
Willingness and ability to deal with conflicts.
3.9
Three personalities are hidden in every individual, namely Parent, Adult and Child.
These personalities keep changing from time to time and from situation to situation.
When two persons happen to be in similar personalities say Adult while dealing, then
the chances of conflict are remote.
E
Recommended Reading from www.spandane.com Æ Spandane Articles.
1
In fact all Spandane Articles will enrich your LIFE but you should at least read the
following Spandane Articles from www.spandane.com.
Article 18 - Shivamuth
Article 36 - Consultant
Article 44 – PERT / CPM
Article 51 – MOL - DIL
Article 53 – Communication Skills
Article 55 – Time Management
Article 59 – Happy Man’s shirt
Article 61 – Anger Management
Article 70 – Conflict Management
Article 71 – ABJ / TTP Technique
Article 79 – Spandane The Art of Living
Article 83 – Change yourself, not the world
Article 84 – Anomalies of Human behaviour
Article 10 – Marriage expectations –Opinions & checklist (Event Management section)
F
Common Tips:
1
Let there be a space in your relationship.
2
Give respect to get respect. Due respect has to be given without any expectations.
3
4
5
Your behavior with any one should be the replica of your expectation of their behavior
7
with you.
6
7
8
9
Nobody is perfect.
10
11
G
Tips- Relationship with Wife:
G-1
Introduction:
¾ Marriage is the most difficult decision which most of the persons take relying solely
on fate. Decision is tougher for the lady.
¾ Marriage is like a ‘Ladoo’. Whosoever eats also repents as much as who doesn’t eat.
¾ Your relationship with Wife does not start after marriage is fixed and engagement
takes place. Ideally the relationship would start after 1st round of talks. You should
frankly discuss your opinions, expectations from wife. You must bear in mind that
she would also have her opinion and choice of Life partner. The lady should also put
forth her views in this regard. But please remember that in a ‘Male Dominated
Society,’ seldom she would get the right to express herself openly or even to exercise
the option to reject the boy. Hence, it is necessary for you to take the lead and open
the discussion. Sorting of points of agreements and disagreements before conveying
final ‘Yes’ for the marriage will lay the strong foundation for a long and happy
married life.
I have prepared the checklist of various points on which you should express your
expectations, opinions & extent of adjustment. (Refer schedule attached at end)
G-2
Specific Tips- Relationship with Wife:
1
Let there be a space in your relationship.
2
3
Feel free to discuss your problem.
4
Spend time with each other in the capacity of a Friend.
5
6
7
8
8
9
Every person should have friends at various levels to fill the gap in his life. Many
times we face such situations which cannot be discussed with parents, spouse,
colleagues etc. as each one of them have some stake in you and hence you may be
deprived from getting correct advice. Friendship shows the road ahead in such
situations. Make your wife as your ‘best friend’ with whom you should be in a
position to discuss anything & everything.
H
Specific Tips- Relationship with In-Laws:
1
You should stand by your In-Laws in periods of transition such as retirement, death,
illness etc.
2
Share your feelings with your In-Laws.
3
Be sensitive & understanding towards your In-Laws and their needs.
4
Express & show your gratitude for all that they have done for your wife.
5
6
Forgive your In-Laws for their shortcomings as you also forgive your parents.
7
Make it a point to visit them regularly, talk on telephone preferably at a fixed time etc.
It is your duty not only to keep your wife happy but to convince them that she is
really happy.
8
I
What views / perceptions you should carry about LIFE?: (My Recommendations)
¾ I am aware that you also must be having views and perceptions about LIFE but
might not have documented the same. I suggest that you must make an attempt to
list them for your good. Some of the time tested views, perceptions and realities of
Life have been listed below for your ready reference. These views in fact give reply
to our strange behaviour at times.
1
You may not get what you want in Life but you can certainly love what you get in
Life.
2
You should not carry any complex either inferior or superior. You should carry
equality complex.
3
You should ‘mean’ what you say but you may not ‘say’ what you mean unless called
for.
9
4
You should believe in individuality.
5
You should honour every person’s ideas and skills.
6
You should always try to do what is right.
7
You should constantly exchange information and knowledge and keep optimum
amount of transparency in your dealings.
8
You should constantly look for every opportunity to learn.
9
You should look at every thing first from brain and subsequently from heart.
10
You should consider Saving as first charge on income.
11
You should not ignore signals. (Take macro meaning)
12
Happiness lies in MIND.
13
You should constantly practice that our mind should rule our body and intelligence
should rule our mind.
14
You should try to break outdated barriers in life.
15
You should exercise control over ‘Hurry’ ‘Worry’ and ‘Curry’.
16
You should take pride in doing household chores.
17
You should try to do Right thing at a Right time and in Right proportion.
18
You should do retrospection at periodic intervals.
19
You should try to balance cost and benefits in every matter.
20
You should either don’t carry EGO or try to keep the EGO under control.
21
You should believe that you owe some obligations to society.
22
You should always do PLANNING before taking any action, decision etc. (Take macro
meaning)
23
You should measure the success by not what you have achieved but by what you
had to leave to achieve the same.
J-1
Tips: (Not necessarily in the order of importance). In fact all Tips are important.
1
If you happen to dislike the person, do not cross him out. Instead try to develop
relationship by adhering to the following principles based on new technique of
‘One Tick and Two Cross’ and of creating ‘Goodwill’. Kindly read these Tips
carefully and simultaneously think as how you would generate ‘Goodwill / achieving
One Tick and use it for double crossing’. Please remember that I am not trying to
instigate you against your In-Laws or spouse but having landed with the new
relationship, I am trying to guide as to how you can still swim against the Tide.
10
Always consider as to how you would react before you march towards establishing
relationship / applying these Tips.
2
You must learn minimum cooking from mother well before marriage so that you can
take care of yourself when you go abroad on deputation or when your wife goes to
your In-Laws residence either for delivery or otherwise.
3
Update your telephone diary with addresses, telephone numbers etc. of your wife’s
relatives.
4
You need not make hurry in changing nomination on LIC policies, TDRs etc. in favour
of wife. The same may be done after a year. Observe whether she is initiating such
steps?
5
Request your wife to open bank account jointly with you. You should also open
another bank account in your name jointly with wife. Account should be operated E/S.
Safe deposit Locker in a bank should also be hired to keep your gold ornaments etc.
6
Make an attempt to avoid conflict. (Refer Para D)
7
Make Strength, Weakness, Opportunities & Threats (SWOT) Analysis of your self,
wife, parents and In-Laws. You may refer Books section Æ Sub-section Management
of www.spandane.com.
8
Seek permission to call Mother-in-law as ‘Mom’. Similarly seek permission to call
‘Father-in-Law’ as ‘Papa’.
9
If you wish that wife’s name should not be changed after marriage, then speck well in
advance with In-Laws and wife in respect of same.
10
In case you prefer to change wife’s name, then take initiative to suggest the new name
of your choice or seek suggestion from your ‘would be wife.’ In my opinion, you
should not change wife’s name for the sake of exercising your right. Discuss this
point with would be wife.
11
Prepare a Table of Birthdays, Marriage anniversaries, Death anniversaries etc. of near
relatives of your wife along with contact numbers, mobile numbers, Email IDs etc.
12
Identify weak/sensitive points of your wife & In-Laws. Relationship gets developed
very fast when you pamper the person on his weak / sensitive points.
13
GOD has given 2 Eyes, 2 Ears but only 1 Mouth. Obviously I am suggesting that
initially you should talk less with In-Laws.
14
Diplomatically enquire with In-Laws about your wife’s childhood days, her likes,
dislikes, preferences, friends, hobbies etc. You can make use of this information to
win over or control. You may also request them to show childhood snaps if available
11
to judge the development in her personality over the years. You should cross verify
this information diplomatically with wife.
15
Diplomatically enquire with your wife about In-Laws. (Their likes, dislikes,
preferences, friends, hobbies, relatives etc.) You should cross verify this information
diplomatically with In-Laws.
16
Ascertain the relationship between Father-in-Law and Mother-in-Law and with your
wife. Whether wife is under their influence or vice versa?
17
Make all out efforts to create Goodwill.
18
Keep optimum Transparency in your dealings and speech.
19
Develop ability to say ‘NO’. But ‘No’ approach should be resorted as a last resort.
Don’t allow any one to take undue advantage of you including your wife.
20
You should have sense of proportion in every respect. You should always know what
is call of the hour/day?
21
If your relationship with In-Laws gets clicked spontaneously, then nothing like it.
But there is no guarantee that it would happen. Hence you must try to establishment
relationship by following ‘Formality’ tips mentioned in this Article.
22
Create ‘Back up’. Any talk with In-Laws should be informed to wife before she gets to
know the same from In-Laws and vice versa. Develop cordial relationship with wife’s
brother, sister as back up.
23
Have you studied ‘Gobels Principle? Any false information hammered repeatedly is
believed. Do not follow this. Use the principle to tell the ‘Truth’ because many people
find it difficult to digest even the Truth in one go and Truth needs to be hammered.
24
Are you aware of the story of ‘Monkey and her kids’ told and proved by ‘Birbal’ to
‘Badshah’? Do not go out of the way to provide service even to your wife and /inLaws.
25
Respect the person irrespective of age to get respect.
26
Do not lie or tell half truth. Don’t lie on her behalf. Do not justify wife if she is
wrong.
27
Inform wife before you wish to discuss controversial matters with In-Laws.
Ask her to speak to her parents. If she does not oblige, then you get moral right to talk
directly and she can not blame you for that.
28
Seek opinions as a formality. You will experience that generally you will not be
confronted and hence you can use this as a shield in case future problems
/contradictory remark is passed on you.
29
12
Motivate In-Laws, wife to pursue hobbies, dreams etc. Help them to achieve the same.
Your goodwill will get generated permanently.
30
Share anything good. Say a good book, good article in a magazine/ newspaper, tasty
food, good entertainment programme etc.
31
Spend some time with In-Laws specifically.
32
Don’t argue. You will only land up hurting feelings. You must agree to disagree.
33
Be polite in your talk. Avoid Gossip and loose talk.
34
Every one is right in his own way but please remember that your right should not be
at the cost of some body’s right. (not even your wife)
35
Any problem in Life should be accepted first, then if possible justify and finally you
may blame some body or your fate.
36
Any thing is possible in ‘Theory’. But it is also necessary to look into the ‘Technical’
feasibility and finally ‘Practical’ possibility.
37
Do not compare People, Luck, Wealth etc.
38
Do not be jealous.
39
Do Time Management. Spend time judiciously keeping in mind your goals.
Keep certain time for relaxation, hobbies, reading, meditation, exercise etc.
40
Do not compare your wife with your sisters, lady friends etc. No body is perfect.
41
You should master the Art of deriving 100 % satisfaction in 50 % inputs.
42
Think positively in case your wife desires to change / modify some routine in your
house. First analyze the reasons for new pattern of routine, keep open mind, discuss
frankly and then change the routine by mutual discussion.
43
You should manage your ‘Financial Matters’. You may inform wife about it but refrain
from seeking her advice unless she is professionally qualified to give advice.
44
Assist your wife in looking after her Financial matters such payment of LIC, PPF etc.
You will automatically get her financial info.
45
Discuss about Financial Goals, views about addition to family etc. in clear terms with
your wife.
46
You should be able to identify ‘Primary’ (i.e. direct) and ‘Collateral’ (i.e. indirect)
responsibility in relation with your In-Laws.
47
Do not go out of your way to impress In-Laws and wife.
48
Any discussion with wife should be done when her stomach is full. You will get
better response. Do not open controversial topics at night. Just seek her appointment.
She will insist to discuss right away. But refrain yourself. If she starts guessing your
13
mood & the matter, then be assured that you have won half the battle.
49
Relationship is like a rubber band. You must know the limit up to which the same
should be strained. After all we need each other. Dispute should not be carried too far.
There should be an escape route to reconcile.
50
Initially you should telephone your In-Laws in presence of your wife. This will create
confidence in her mind that you are happy and not complaining about her to her
parents. Subsequently you may telephone from mobile in case you really want to
complain.
51
You should inform about taste preference of your family members to your wife.
You should not force your food habits on her. She should be encouraged to cook dishes
of her choice.
52
Do not give out of the way impression of happiness openly. It is difficult to judge
persons in very few days.
J-2
Additional Tips: (Not necessarily in the order of importance). In fact all Tips are
important.
1
Are you aware that ladies undergo mood swings more than men? If yes, then are you
aware of the reasons for the same? I leave this matter for you to guess. If you are
successful in searching the answer then you have already won half the battle.
2
Whenever you send any email to her relatives and then do not forget to mark BCC to
your wife.
3
Always offer helping hand to spouse. There are many household chores you can do
independently. e.g. arranging dining table, putting utensils, plates etc. in washing area
after lunch/dinner, making monthly list of household purchases to be made, house
cleaning etc.
4
Giving feedback regarding preferences, likes, dislikes of parents, brothers, sisters on
various issues to spouse. This would certainly help her to chalk out her relationship
path with them.
5
Spend some time with spouse during the day to share the day’s experience.
6
Make it a point to have Sunday dinner in a good hotel. Underlying idea is to give well
deserved break to your spouse from kitchen work.
7
Make breakfast at least fortnightly for spouse and kids. Let me assure you that
cooking is not all that difficult.
8
14
Make bed tea or first tea or afternoon tea for the family at least on few days in a month.
9
Don’t ever forget the birthday of your spouse. Make the necessary planning to
celebrate the same.
10
Bring small gifts on regular basis for spouse at least initially. Frequency can be
adjusted depending on her reaction, expectations etc.
11
You should be clear about the strategy (Such as to dictate, listen and give opinion, not
giving any reaction, reserving the opinion etc.) you would adopt in various situations.
12
Maintain utmost transparency in your opinion on various issues pertaining to wife
such as job, dress code etc. Discuss out such issues openly and clearly to avoid the
dispute.
13
Seek her opinion on all important issues directly affecting the family life. Do not take
her for granted.
14
Stand by her in case of dispute if she is right.
15
You should master the ‘Art & Science of Equilibrium’ in relationship between your
wife and Mother.
16
Make it a point to have dinner together. Do not discuss any disputed points at the
time of Dinner.
17
Decide on convenient Lunch / Dinner menu in case wife is employed. Do not demand
your favorite dish at eleventh hour.
18
Learn the art of restricting / restructuring your likes such as hot rotis, fresh food etc.
Also refrain from bad habits such as smoking, drinks etc.
19
In case you happen to reach home early in the evening, try to start on the preparation
for the dinner such as preparing cooker, boiling milk etc.
20
Greet her on her return. Take the bag etc. from her hand. Offer water, show
willingness to prepare tea for wife in case she returns late.
21
Small household chores such as opening door, attending telephone calls, taking home
work of kids, telling stories to kids, filling up of water storage tank, arranging
bedroom, operating washing machine at times should be undertaken with a smiling
face irrespective of fact whether your wife is working or not.
22
See to it that your right should not be at the cost of somebody’s right. Try to do your
jobs such as washing own clothes, shopping of your essentials/clothes, ironing, etc.
23
You should be capable of doing practically every job done by your wife such as
minimum cooking, cleaning home etc.
24
Clarify your expectations regarding dress code, religious rituals well in advance.
15
Try to find out her opinions on the subject before any decision is taken.
25
In case you are staying separately, then make it a point to visit your parents, your inlaws at periodic intervals. You should also telephone them regularly. However the
frequency needs to be defined depending on circumstances such as age, their
dependence on you and your wife etc.
26
It is generally observed that wife likes to get her opinion seconded by the husband.
You should encourage wife to take independent decisions. If need be she should be
motivated to discuss the process of decision making with you. You should prompt her
to consider pros and cons of each action. This will certainly help you in long run when
you need ‘Third party opinion’ for the decision being taken by you.
27
Express the gratitude for the efforts taken by wife for the family.
28
Please remember that ‘Silence’ and ‘smile’ are two powerful tools. One tries to avoid
the problem and one tries to solve the problem. Master the timing for its use.
29
Do not lose sight of ‘Woman Power.’ She can handle trouble and carry heavy burdens.
She holds happiness, love, and opinions. She smiles when she feels like screaming.
She sings when she feels like crying. She cries when she is happy and laughs when she
is afraid. Her love is unconditional. There is only one thing wrong with her.
She sometimes forgets what she is worth. Don’t forget her worth.
30
Try to create respect in her mind. Give respect to get respect.
31
Are you aware about wife’s expectations from Husband? Let me throw some light.
Housing, Understanding, Sharing, Buying And Never Demanding. Try to come up to
her expectations.
32
Study her handwriting, body language and make judgments about her personality.
Refer Miscellaneous section of www. Spandane.com.
33
Also refer Astrology section of www. Spandane.com for studying ‘Numerology, Rashi,
Nakshatra’ etc. This will offer good help to judge her in advance.
34
Offer some pocket money even if she is a working lady.
35
See to it that she gives proper Gifts to her parents on various occasions such as
birthday, wedding anniversary etc.
36
Take LIC policy in her name for a duration of 25 years. Premiums should be paid by
you. LIC proceeds on maturity should be gifted at the time of celebrating silver
jubilee of your marriage.
37
Encourage her to save money in case she is a working lady.
38
Give your family details about birthdays, wedding anniversary, telephone numbers,
16
email id etc. of your relatives to wife.
39
Various delicate issues such as her job, purchasing flat, renovation, household expense
budget, expanding the family etc. should be frankly discussed with wife.
40
Make SWOT Analysis of wife, her Parents.
41
Telephone wife before leaving office.
42
If your wife is facing some problem in reconciling with your parents, then take the lead
to bridge the communication gap between them.
43
Have you read ‘Behaviour Therapy for would be Brides’? If not, then do read it.
Do not allow wife to score a point on you.
K
I have already given few practical examples in above Tips. Now let me demonstrate
the concept of ‘Goodwill’ & ‘One Tick Two Cross’ specifically. I am sure that readers
would have already understood / thought over the concept, but for the sake of
completeness, I am giving few Live examples to drive my point.
1
You should tell parents when you leave house (or home) and also inform by what time
you would come and where you are going. (Unless you going to office). Your parents
can not complain afterwards. Your wife will learn this message and she would also
start this practice. Trifle matter of dispute would get avoided.
2
In case you decide to go for the movie / shopping, request your wife to inform your
parents. Even then, next day just enquire casually as to whether your wife has
informed them of movie / shopping programme? You are indirectly displaying to
wife as to how disciplined you are.
3
Wish your wife’s close relatives such as brothers, sisters, uncle, Aatya (father-in-law’s
sister) etc. on their birthdays, wedding anniversary etc. It will be to their surprise but
you would create Goodwill. If your wife is not particular in this respect, your goodwill
value will double. You may either telephone, send SMS or email.
4
Whenever you do shopping, make it a point to purchase something for your In-laws.
They will be very happy because of your remembrance. Your cost of shopping for them
would be your investment in Goodwill.
5
In case you have gone on a week end trip. Then make it a point to inform about safe
reaching to your parents and In-Laws. (Old aged parents always worry about their
kids.) Do telephone once or twice a day; enquire about their lunch, sleep, health etc.
6
The above list is only illustrative. I request you to keep this ‘Goodwill aspect’ in your
17
dealings. This goodwill can be used at a later date for marking ‘Two crosses’ in case of
dispute. You can boost that you have carried out every duty and you are not ready to
accept any trifle allegations.
7
You will realize that underlying principle I wish to highlight is of Professional /
determined approach for developing relationships. If you are good natured boy by
birth, then you don’t even have to read these Tips. But just compare your behaviour
with your parents. Can you change overnight? Reply would be obviously ‘No’ and
hence you must develop a systematic approach for developing relationship.
8
We don’t like every person around us but still for the sake formality we tolerate them
up to the point. You will agree that in office we wish our Boss, colleagues etc. though
we may not like them. We do it under the tag ‘Job compromise’. If that is the case,
why not apply the same formality in dealing with In-Laws. (An irreversible decision
with your marriage.)
L
How to avoid Family Stress:
1
Jagi sarva sukhi asa kon ahe vichari mana tuchi shodhoni pahe….Ramdas Swami.
(There is no body in this world who is happy in all respects)
2
Every one carries/ faces stress. Nature of stress varies from person to person. It is born
with your birth & continues till your death. Every happiness & luxury has element of
inbuilt stress. Today this subject has acquired great importance. World has changed
over the years. New inventions have resulted in saving of human energy and time.
Now the question is whether the man and his sentiments have changed?
The answer is NO. Man’s basic nature is of happiness and every one makes all out
efforts to seek happiness but the problem is that he does not know as to where he
will get happiness.
3
Most people find it difficult to define stress, yet they experience it often. Stress can be
defined as an excessive demand on physical and mental energy, often leading to anger,
anxiety, distress, fear, irritability and frustration.
¾ In the light of this background, I intend to give few Tips to avoid Family Stress.
4
You must acquire skill to stay at home as a Guest.
5
Please remember that Every person has an Ego.
6
Please remember that Every person has Individuality.
7
Do your own work.
8
Help other family members.
18
9
Cultivate Apathy.
10
Give respect to get Respect.
11
Forget your office designation at home.
12
Forget your educational achievements at home while dealing with family members.
M
Disclaimer:
1
I do not claim that this Article is full proof but I am confident that careful reading can
certainly assist you as a Torch in exploring unknown jungle of new relationship.
2
Relationship is a complex phenomena and any number of laid down principles may
still fail because after all each person is unique. Moreover building cordial relationship
you need similar thinking from opposite camp as well. You need two hands for
3
Why not make an attempt to develop relationship professionally instead of relying on
your mood /ringing of bells in your mind?
4
In fact many of the above Tips can be successfully used to improve relationships with
people.
5
Best of Luck. I request the readers to share their experiences to make this Article as
elaborative as possible. Email may be sent to [email protected].
19
G-1 / Schedule of Checklist of Expectations from Spouse & Own Opinions:
Sr.
No.
1
2
3
4
5
6
7
8
9
10
11
12
13
14
15
16
17
18
19
20
21
22
23
24
25
26
27
28
29
30
31
32
33
34
35
36
37
Expectations &
Opinions
Adjustment
Dress Code, matching, hair style etc.
Finishing of incomplete education
Further advanced studies
Minimum Job tenure
Readiness to leave job after marriage
Professional responsibilities (if not serving)
Permission for carrying out Performing Art such as
singing, dance etc.
Priorities in Life (home, education, kids, career)
Financial Liabilities of would be wife.
How loans taken by would be wife will be repaid?
If housing loan is taken after marriage, whether she is
ready to offer helping hand for loan repayment /meet
household expenses.
Investments made by would be wife.
Whether Passport has been taken?
Willingness to go abroad for few years.
Willingness to go abroad permanently.
Willingness to stay alone in case husband has to go
abroad on deputation for say 6 months etc.
Willingness to stay in a joint family.
Willingness to take responsibility of Parents.
Financial assistance to her parents.
Your expectations from wife – Friendship, ‘Yes’
attitude, critical analyst etc.
Life Style
Her Unmet wants & dreams.
What is Entertainment / Relaxation?
Whether she likes travelling, trekking etc.
Addiction of TV, Movies, Drama, Singing concerts,
reading etc.
Whether she knows Household jobs /routine?
Willingness to do household chores.
Her Habits not liked by others.(ask her)
Her Food preference – Veg. / Non Veg.
Whether she knows cooking?
Whether she likes cooking?
Whether she is religious? Atmosphere at your
residence.
Whether she knows driving? If not whether she
would learn driving?
Whether she has male friends? How is her
relationship with them?
Whether any affair in the past?
Her Idea of Freedom.
Her Decision making ability.
The list is illustrative.
20
17 / Three Stages of Marriage
There are three stages of Marriage namely MAD for each other / MADE for each other /
MAD because of each other.
It is said that ‘Marriage Knots’ are tied in the ‘heaven’ but executed on ‘earth’. Marriage is
one of the most important events in the life of every person. It is often said jokingly that
‘Marriage is such a ‘Ladoo’ that whosoever eats the said ‘Ladoo’ repents as much as who does
not eat.’ Joke apart. Marriage brings two families together. It also brings tension, more so for
bride’s parents.
If marriage is based on the strong foundation, then one may not come across these stages.
But this is not the case most of the time. The success of the marriage largely depends on clear
decision making on various issues and maintaining transparency with other family members.
All management principles such as Planning, decision making, delegation, control and review
have role to play in this event.
Marriage is one the important event in everybody’s life. Marriage can be crudely defined as
society’s recognition of sexual relationship between the husband & wife. Marriage is a gamble
and every one plays at least once. Marriage is like a walking on a rope tied above the ground
level.
Marriage is the important junction in our life. Till marriage our life is smooth and keeps
running on the single track of education, service, parents, etc. Your parents carry your
responsibility on their shoulders. For the first time in your life, you undertake somebody’s
responsibility on your shoulders. If you are not adequately trained, then you feel the pain.
Marriage may be a function for the bridegroom but it is challenging time for the bride.
She has to leave her parents & her residence, compromise on her likes and dislikes and stay in
in-laws house with husband (known to her for last few days.). It is really difficult decision to
execute.
Every girl makes all compromises on her marriage. She leaves her house, her near and dear
ones with whom she has stayed for years together and joins husband's family of unknown
2
Species. She takes this bold decision purely trusting her ‘would be husband.’ In fact he is the
only person to whom she claims that she knows a bit and if her expectations and assumptions
are not met, she gets mentally depressed. Husband’s status/value literally falls in her mind
though again she can not discuss this with anyone openly. Even her parents will try and
blame her only.
It is also necessary to understand the Anomalies of Marriage and Social Customs.
It is also necessary that a boy and the girl should discuss their opinions and expectations on
various issues such as food habits, hobbies, clothing preferences, career, education, staying
separately or in a joint family etc. Your attention is invited to the Spandane article namely
Marriage expectations-opinions under event management section of www.spandane.com.
‘Relationship’ is born simultaneously with our birth. Relationship is a complex phenomenon.
Our entry in this world creates various relationships whether we like them or not at a latter
stage in our life.
If we wish to have cordial relationship with others, it is necessary to cultivate the relationship
on same footing.(equality complex) e.g. We must forget our education, designation, status
while dealing with spouse, children, parents, friends, In-laws etc.
One should remember that we are all Guests in this world. We don’t know our last moment
in this world. Then why not try and develop cordial relationship with others.
I am aware that developing any relationship is a long drawn process. You can vouch for this
statement from the fact that how our relationship with parents has taken ‘swings’ over the
years and it will be a bold statement to make that relationship has now settled.
As stated earlier that Relationship is a complex phenomena and any number of laid down
principles may still fail because after all each person is unique. Moreover building cordial
relationship you need similar thinking from opposite camp as well. You need two hands for
If your relationship gets clicked spontaneously, then nothing likes it. But there is no guarantee
that it would so happen. Why not make an attempt to develop relationship professionally
3
instead of relying on your mood /ringing of bells in your mind?
We don’t like every person around us but still for the sake formality we tolerate him up to
the point. You will agree that in office we wish our boss, colleagues etc. though we may not
like them. We do it under the tag ‘Job compromise’. If that is the case, why not apply the same
formality in dealing with spouse & In-Laws. (An irreversible decision with your marriage.)
Your attention is invited to Spandane Articles namely behaviour therapy for brides and
bridegrooms under the section Spandane articles of www.spandane.com for various tips to
develop cordial relationship between the couple.
MAD for each other stage starts from few days prior to engagement and lasts up to few
days after honeymoon.
MADE for each other stage generally lasts for a long time.
MAD because of each other stage may start anytime but generally after 15-20 years of
marriage anniversary.
The above situation may be avoided by adhering to the following general tips.
¾ Let there be spaces in your relationship.
¾ Give respect to get respect. Due respect has to be given without any expectations.
¾ All fingers are not alike.
¾ Each person inherits good and bad qualities.
¾ Your behaviour with any one should be the replica of your expectation of their
behaviour with you.
¾ Respect individuality.
¾ Always remember that our opinions change from time to time.
¾ We all need each other.
¾ No body is perfect.
¾ When you are angry, criticize the behaviour, not the person.
¾ Human being is a social ‘ANIMAL.’
Best of Luck. I request the readers to share their experiences to make this Article as elaborative
as possible. Do share your observations on the subject with me on [email protected].
---------- Forwarded message ---------From: manisha goregaonkar <[email protected]>
Date: Sat, Mar 14, 2009 at 6:11 PM
Subject: Fw: Facts about marriage
To: Sudhir Vaidya <[email protected]>,
--- On Sat, 14/3/09, [email protected]
<[email protected]> wrote:
From: [email protected] <[email protected]>
Subject: Facts about marriage
To:
Date: Saturday, 14 March, 2009, 12:01 PM
1. Marriage is not a word. It is a sentence (a life sentence).
2. Marriage is love. Love is blind. Therefore marriage is an institution for the blind.
3. Marriage is an institution in which a man loses his Bachelor's Degree and the woman gets
her Master's.
4. Marriage is a three-ring circus: engagement ring, wedding ring, and suffer-ring.
5. Married life is full of excitement and frustration: in the first year of marriage, the man
speaks and the woman listens. In the second year, the woman speaks and the man listens.
In the third year, they both speak and the NEIGHBORS listen.
6. Getting married is very much like going to a restaurant with friends. You order what you
want, and when you see what the other person has, you wish you had ordered that instead.
7. There was this man who muttered a few words in the church and found himself married. A
year later he muttered something in his sleep and found himself divorced.
8. A happy marriage is a matter of giving and taking; the husband gives and the wife takes.
9. Son: How much does it cost to get married, Dad?
Father: I don't know son, I'm still paying for it.
10. Son: Is it true Dad? I heard that in ancient China, a man doesn't know his wife until he
marries her.
Father: That happens everywhere, son, EVERYWHERE!
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11. Love is one long sweet dream, and marriage is the alarm clock.
12. They say that when a man holds a woman's hand before marriage, it is love; after marriage
it is self-defense.
13. When a newly married man looks happy, we know why. But when a 10-year married man
looks happy, we wonder why.
14. There was this lover who said that he would go through hell for her. They got married,
and now he is going through HELL.
15. When a man steals your wife, there is no better revenge than to let him keep her.
16. Eighty percent of married men cheat in America, the rest cheat in Europe, Southeast Asia
and the Philippines.
17. After marriage, husband and wife become two sides of a coin. They just can't face each
other, but they still stay together.
18. Marriage is when a man and a woman become one. The trouble starts when they try to
decide which one.
19. Before marriage, a man yearns for the woman he loves. After the marriage the "y" becomes
silent.
20. I married Miss right; I just didn't know her first name was Always.
21. It's not true that married men live longer than single men. It only seems longer.
22. Losing a wife can be hard. In my case, it was almost impossible.
23. A man was complaining to a friend: I HAD IT ALL, MONEY, A BEAUTIFUL HOUSE,
THE LOVE OF A BEAUTIFUL WOMAN, THEN POW! IT WAS ALL GONE. WHAT
HAPPENED? Asked his friend. He says, MY WIFE FOUND OUT.
24. WIFE: Let's go out and have some fun tonight. HUSBAND: OK, but if you get home before
I do, leave the hallway lights on.
25. At a cocktail party, one woman said to another: AREN'T YOU WEARING YOUR RING
ON THE WRONG FINGER? The other replied, YES, I AM, I MARRIED THE WRONG MAN.
26. Man is incomplete until he gets married, then he is finished.
27. It doesn't matter how often a married man changes his job, he still ends up with the same
boss.
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28. A man inserted an ad in the paper - WIFE WANTED. The next day he received hundreds
of letters and they all said the same thing - YOU CAN HAVE MINE.
29. When a man opens the door of his car for his wife, you can be sure of one thing - either the
car is new or the wife is NEW !
Hope you laughed a little and that your day will be HAPPY!!! Enjoy!!
--------- Forwarded message ---------From: <[email protected]>
Date: Thu, Mar 12, 2009 at 1:09 PM
Subject: FW: Love and Marriage beautifully explained
To: [email protected]