june 2012 issue - Rachel Williston
Transcription
june 2012 issue - Rachel Williston
1 Pretty T Girls June 2012 The Magazine for the most beautiful girls in the world 2 In This Issue Page Editorial by Barbara Jean Knock Knock Open The Closet Door Ten Ways to get the Perfect Brows How to Assemble a Makeup Brush Kit How to Apply Makeup in 5 Minutes The Exploits of Barbara Marie Tasi’s Musings Humor Angels in the Centerfold TG Tips from Mellissa The Adventures of Judy Sometimes How to Measure Your Bra Size Breast Forms The Great Bra Strap Debate Going Stealth Tasi’s Fashion Forum Lucille Sorella Top 5 Femme Photo Mistakes Do I Really Need to Dry Clean This The Essentials of a Well Balanced Wardrobe The Gossip Fence Transgender in the News Shop Till You Drop Calendar 3 4 6 7 9 11 15 21 22 27 32 33 34 35 37 39 41 44 46 50 62 74 3 Transgendered Children An Editorial by: Barbara Jean The majority of news articles that are in the Gossip Fence section of our magazine come from a site called Transgendered News Yahoo groups. More and more as I scan the articles that come down this site, and others, I am finding more news concerning children who are transgendered. I recall one article a few years back where a boy who was one year old would not let his mother button his onesie because he wanted a dress like his sister. Articles of preschool boys who wanted to dress as girls, and article of elementary school MtF’s with issues of using the girls room at school. MtF high school teens who run or are elected as prom queens and FtM’s as prom kings. More and more it seems we are coming out at younger ages. Recently a request was sent down our board and others for us to take a short survey that was being done by a MtF high school student as part of his science fair project. This of course did raise some concern among my co- moderator Barbara Marie. While I am not certain as to what Barbara Marie’s concern was, it does bring up something that I have to wonder about, support for the young transgendered person in society. I was born in 1946, a child of the 50’s. I guess my own cross-dressing tendencies began when I was about nine and became fully blown when I was about 12 or 13. Of course it had to be kept secret. To let it know that I would have preferred to be a girl, or even to dress as a girl would at the best result in a trip to the proverbial woodshed, and trips to the psychologist. Being “cured” of this nonsense was essential. I was not even aware of the word transvestite or transsexual till I was about 23 years of age. There was no support for us back in those days. About the only place to find any information on the subject was in adult bookstores. This all brings me to my major concern. All the transgendered groups on Yahoo, MSN and other sites that have groups are listed as adult groups. In some major cities LGBT centers do have groups for teenagers who are LGBT, but what about smaller cities and towns? What support does the young TG have who lives in one of these cities or towns? Fortunately much factual information can be found on the internet, but then too much misinformation can also be found. For the one who is a transsexual, there is the problem of having to wait till adult age before hormones can be started. While the young TS can be given puberty blocking drugs, of course there may be a problem of finding a doctor who will prescribe them. 4 I admit that I do wonder what the future holds for us. Will the positive proof come to show that we are born transgendered? How long will it take to be accepted by first the medical community and then by society? How long before groups like Pretty T Girls do not have to be listed as adult only groups. As much as I wish we could reach out to our young brothers and sisters, now is not the time. Serious trouble can result for those of us who do. But I do believe that tomorrow will bring a brighter day for our community. Knock Knock! Open the Closet Door-Let the Truth Shine In By: Dee Sex and gender are among the globe’s hottest “it” topics. Every new day marks a sizzling headline featuring a crossdressing, transgender, or transsexual experience. Canadian beauty queen Jenna Talackova, Chinese dance sensation Jin Xing, and everyday heroines and heroes are standing up to be recognized and replacing the go-to, laughably misunderstood stereotypes too often referred to in the past. Don’t we want to know what’s really going on? Isn’t it more beneficial to understand the true underpinnings and challenges related to crossdressing and gender identity? As the ex-wife of a crossdresser, I obviously find it highly insulting when the media perpetuates lazy, untruthful myths about crossdressers. What has always been missing is the naked truth. In a word, crossdressing is complicated. How one deals with crossdressing determines whether or not the experience proves harmless or induces grandiose pain. In a world quick to judge or condemn, keeping secrets may seem to be the safest alternative, but for how long? Forever? At what cost? Wouldn’t you want to tell the truth and be free of the shadowy burdens of secrecy? Many male, heterosexual, married crossdressers have shared with me that they don’t know how to disclose a truth they see as shameful to their wives, partners, or families. Many crossdressers’ wives have divulged that they secretly know all about their husbands’ secret but are too afraid to say anything. Like too many of us, I discovered the truth about my crossdressing husband years after we exchanged wedding vows. I believe a relationship without truth has little chance of achieving happily ever after. Having lived a life in the shadows, I know what it’s like to have people on the outside not see what’s really going on behind closed doors. At times, I was certain I was due to unravel. No matter where you might be in your journey, of all the thorny options confronting you, honesty may be the first step towards rebuilding a life based on the solid foundations of truth and understanding. Like many of us, I wanted to be part of the solution. Sharing my experience, I thought, could help pave a safer path for those trailing behind me. So, back in 2006, I founded my non-profit, Cross Dressers Wives, and its website,crossdresserswives.com. Today, 5 my mission remains simple: to help educate and guide crossdressers’ wives — and society — toward a deeper understanding of an issue that needlessly ripped my marriage, family, and life to absolute smithereens. I wanted to help erase all liability of shame and eradicate any desire for secrecy. Now, once again, this rare opportunity to speak up and be heard is knocking at my door. Or is it our door? I have been approached by a top production company about collaborating on a very special documentary series focusing on people who struggle with crossdressing in their marriage, relationship, or family. Yes, some marriages are happy and trouble-free but unfortunately, they do not represent the norm. I am only asking for people to come forward who seek genuine help and want healing. If you need help telling your loved ones about your situation — either from a crossdresser or crossdresser’s wife point of view — the very best expert medical guidance will be made available to you. This will be a safe, respectful environment with the goal of achieving answers and resolution, not ripping lives apart. This project is non-exploitative and will treat each participant with the utmost sensitivity and respect. If you or someone you know is interested in participating and or appearing on TV (possibly in disguise) please contact me directly via email. Please briefly tell me about yourself, the nature of your experience with crossdressing, and how it has affected your life. Be sure to include your phone number, city, and state where you live. Thank you for your interest in this unprecedented new project! I look forward to hearing from you. Blessings & Gratitude, Dee 6 10 Ways to Get Perfect Brows By Seventeen Magazine That fishtail braid or bold lip isn't going to stand out on prom night if all anyone notices are your less-than-perfect brows. Read these tips from Australia's leading eyebrow artist (and Kylie Monigue's personal groomer), Sharon-Lee, to get tips on how to make the most of a professional brow grooming appointment - what you should do to maintain your arches at home. 1. Consider Color: Are you changing your hair color for your big night? If you've made any drastic changes in hue, such as going from medium brunette to honey blond, you'll want to find a new brow shade that complements both your hair color and your skin tone. However, if you're just getting subtle highlights or going one or two shades lighter or darker, there's no need to change your brow color. 2. Keep Growing: Before your appointment, grow your brows out as much as possible - even if it means being on the receiving end of strange looks from friends. Growing out your eyebrows will help you get the most out of your brow appointment, since the artist can see your natural shape and maximize the changes they can make. 3. Know What You Want: During your brow appointment, explain to your brow artist what you're hoping to achieve - thin or thick brows, high arches or rounded arches, lighter or darker brows, etc. You should also be honest about how well or poorly you may maintain them at home or when you'll be back for basic upkeep. 4. Get Inspired: Is there a celeb whose brows you've fallen in love with? If so, bring a picture to your brow appointment! This is one of the best ways for you to clearly show your brow artist what you'd like to achieve. 5. Bring Backup: Can't bear the pain? If waxing or tweezing is just too much for you, pick up some teething gel from your local drugstore and apply it to the brow area ONLY (keep away from your eyes) prior to your appointment. Ask your pharmacist how many minutes you should leave it on - this will depend on the brand. 6. Look at Your Lashes: Getting a brow makeover? Don't forget about your lashes! If you are 7 fair-haired and you have opted to deepen the color of your brows, make sure to tint your lashes, too. This will help you avoid having the lighter color show at the base of your lashes when you're wearing mascara. 7. Maintain in Between: Don't forget to look for regrowth above the brow line and tweeze there, not just underneath. This simple technique will help you keep your new brow shape for longer. 8. Buy a Toothbrush: Yes, a baby toothbrush can help you keep the brow line tidy. Make sure to brush in the direction the hair grows in rather than against it or upward. 9. Invest in Tweezers: High-quality tweezers will make it a lot easier for you to maintain your new look. Take a few minutes every day to pluck the regrowth after your appointment and you'll be able to maintain the shape for longer. My Tweeze Capsule contains slated tweezers for short, coarse, and ingrown hairs and clamp tweezers for plucking precision. 10. Go For the Gel: You'd be surprised, but purchasing a quality colored waterproof brow gel will help you keep your brows looking polished at all times! Pencils run the risk of looking unnatural when improperly applied, and powder doesn't have the staying power of a gel. Sharon-Lee's Brow Gels disassemble to fit in the tiniest of clutches so you can have it with you at all times! How To Assemble a Makeup Brush Kit Tips from Real Simple Purchasing a preassembled cosmetic brush set isn’t always the best use of your money. Follow These Eight Easy Steps 1Pick a powder brush The powder brush should be soft and fluffy and have a medium dome so the powder is distributed evenly over your face . 8 2Pick a blush brush Your blush brush should have slightly angled bristles and be at least three inches at its longest tip to avoid streaking. 3Pick a foundation brush The foundation brush can be used as an alternative to your fingers or a sponge for applying liquid foundation; it should be flat and have stiff bristles that allow for sheer coverage. 4Pick a concealer brush Similar to the foundation brush, the concealer brush should have fine dense bristles that help cover blemishes accurately. 5Choose two eye shadow brushes A brush with small bristles should be used to apply shadow; a flat brush to blend the shadow. 6Pick a brow brush The eyebrow brush should have a tiny comb on one side and stiff bristles on the other. Tip: In a pinch, you can use a toothbrush to tame your brows. 9 7Pick an angled brush Used for applying eye liner or for filling in your eyebrows, a thin stiff-bristled brush provides the most precision. 8Pick a lip brush For applying lipsticks and glosses, you’ll need a small dense brush. How To Apply Makeup in 5 Minutes Tips from Real Simple When your morning is hectic and you have only minutes to make yourself look your best, follow this video’s fussfree approach to applying makeup. It’s guaranteed to make you look awake? even when you don’t feel that way. What You Need Moisturizer, foundation, mascara, lipstick or gloss, blush Follow These Four Easy Steps 1Rinse and moisturize your face Cleanse your face quickly but thoroughly and follow up with moisturizer. 10 2Dab on foundation Use foundation only where you need it to even out your overall skin tone. Focus on your chin, the sides of your nose, and around your eyes, all areas that can be prone to redness or dark shadows. Dab it on using your ring finger. 3Sweep on black or brown mascara Mascara (a black shade is universally flattering; brown is a good choice for the particularly fair) opens up the eyes and makes you look refreshed. Sweep on one coat from root to tip. No need to pump the wand; doing so lets air into the tube, promoting bacterial growth. 4Apply lip color or blush Apply blush to the apple of each cheek (the roundest part when you smile), sweeping back toward the ear. On your lips, use color with a sheer or gloss finish, which requires less precision (and time) than a linerand-lipstick combo. 11 The Exploits of Barbara Marie BARBARA’S MADNESS FOR APRIL/MAY BY BARBARA MARIE DAVIDSON After a few days of R&R (rest and relaxation), it was back to the more important things at hand. This past Tuesday I had to go with one of the ladies to Savannah for a special type of ultrasound, and amniocentesis as she is pregnant. I was wearing a brown caprice and a white top with sandals when we left the shop. One of the blood test that is now done in the OB/gyn office is called PAPP-A, which is short for Pregnancy Associated Plasma Protein. Normally, it is negative, however if it is Positive (higher than normal results) it could demonstrate that the fetus “may” have Down’s Syndrome, also known as Trisomy 21, a chromosomal disorder resulting in mental retardation as well as other physical defects. Her blood test came back positive. However, as a woman gets older and gets pregnant, there is a higher incident of false positives. She was a “basket case” for about a week. In Savannah, she had an amniocentesis (where a long small bore needle is inserted into the water sack surrounding the fetus and some of the fluid is drawn of for further testing which is 100% accurate) as well as the more aggressive ultra sound. The results of the Ultra sound were essentially normal findings. However, she had to wait another 3 days for the results of the Amniocentesis. On Friday, she received the results, normal baby and “IT’S A Girl”. Needless to say everyone was happy. This was your medical tidbit for the day. Guess it is still the Nurse in me. Saturday, after a morning in the nail shop, I went home and changed into a black sleeveless dress with white trim and black heels. Redid my make up and took off for Savannah as I was attending a Banquet celebrating the 210th anniversary of the Savannah Volunteer Guards of which I am a life member. I believe that the gentlemen I was sitting with knew who I was but their wives treated me like I was a female. We talked about everything under the sun as ladies will do. Dinner was steak with a crab cake (real crab), potato patty, salad and mix vegetables. Desert was a wonderful cream boulle. They had hot rolls and blueberry muffins. The lady next to me wanted some of the blueberry muffins to take home but would not ask if she could have some to go. So, I asked and the waiter brought her a to-go box with six rolls. She was beside herself. When the dancing started, it was my cue to leave. I was home a little after 10 pm. A great night was had by all! During my conversation with one of the members of the unit who knows who I am, the conversation turned to college. It turns out that he graduated from the Citadel in 1959 along with one of the other members. I told him I was there for 2 years from 1961 to 1963 and then started my career in the medical field. He was very receptive of this information. Sunday morning I wore the same outfit to Church and received several compliments as to how I was dressed. After church, I changed to a pair of jeans and a pullover top as it was 12 a little chilly and cloudy. I spent the next two hours on the lawn mower doing the guy thing. I stopped when it started to sprinkle. I spent the rest of the afternoon at the nail shop acting as the receptionist as the manager was in Atlanta. After we closed the shop, eight of us went to eat at the Super King Buffet in Savannah. I think the five ladies and the three gentlemen ate more than our share of mussels, clams, prawns and duck with some rice and noodles thrown in for good measure. We were back in the “Boro” by 2115. Monday after closing the nail shop, I was invited out for dinner again. This time it was at one of the ladies homes. They had mussels, prawns, beef, snails and mixed greens which one put into an electric skillet filled with a spicy broth. After several minutes, one places the “meats” and some of the greens in a bowl with some noodles (PHO or soup). Then one adds a little of the broth to the bowl. It was good and quite filling. Tuesday morning I was out the door wearing a yellow top and brown slack’s as I was on my way for my electrolysis. As of today I have a thin strip of the side burns left and the area under my chin and jaws left. The rest of my face basically has no hair. Electrolysis does work but it is time consuming. Mine costs me $60.00 a hour and I go once a month for 3 hours. I take three extra strength Tylenol about 35 minutes before going and I use Emla cream (a topical anesthetic cream applied about one hour before and covered with a piece of saran wrap) about my lips as the lip area is painful. I am basically done with that area except for a little maintaince treatment once in a while till it is ALL gone. If you remember, I wrote a paper about “A friend’s transition from Male to Female” that appeared in the February issue of the PTG Magazine. Got word from her today that she has finished jumping “through of the hoops” at work and everything has been approved and in place for her to show up at her job officially this coming Monday, April 30th as a female. She has been working in her bubba mode since January after her SRS and was not planning to make the change until June. However, the military base personnel folks where she works must have worked overtime to get it approved. Needless to say she is excited. I am happy for her as well. Wish I could have been there or been a “fly on the wall” when Teresa walked through the doors on Monday. Only a few folks in her office knew the real story. Talked with her on Monday night and the office staff had a cake and a party when she showed up for work on the 30th . She told me that every one made her feel welcome as well as treated her with respect deserving of any of the ladies there. The only other thing she has to do is her breast augment in June. She will be returning to Texas for it and be gone a week. I have made the decision since I am not getting any younger and you cannot take it with you. Thus, I have a pre -op workup scheduled for the middle of May and if all is well will have my BA in June. It will be my Birthday present to myself as I will be 69 on May 12th . Tuesday afternoon, I was fixing to go to my Alanon meeting which was to be followed by my Lions Club meeting. Just as I was leaving the shop manager ask me to go out to her house as there was water all over her floor downstairs. When I got there, one her neighbors had come over and turned off the water to the house. Apparently her hot water tank had a small rupture. She arrived several minutes later and the two of us plus her 13 housekeeper “mopped “up most of the water. I did not make it to the first meeting, but I did make it to my Lions meeting. Wednesday morning when I went to the nail shop I was wearing green caprice and a pink top. A lady came in and we were talking about things in general and I told her I was a retired RN and I worked at the hospital here for 18 years before retiring. She mentioned that she had an upper and lower endoscopy in 2002 and 2003. She remembered her nurse’s name was Bill or something like that. I said are you sure and she said yes. With that I pulled up a couple of photos of me in my guy mode that were about 11 years old. She looked at them and said yes that is him but he had long hair. (They were some photos of me in my Navy uniform at my daughter’s wedding.) She got this funny look on her face as she looked back at me and said “IT’S you”. And I said yes I was your nurse. At that time she was full of questions and I answered them as we talked. It made for an interesting afternoon. Tuesday, I got a frantic call from one of the Vietnamese girls in Sylvania. She was “doubled over with abdominal pain, nausea and vomiting and was running a slight fever”. She wanted me to take her to the hospital, which I did. The ER staff at the Screven County Hospital treated both of us ladies with a friendly courteousness as well a professional attitude that they would have offered any female. “Tina” spoke very little English and the staff had no clue of my true gender. After all the labs, exams, etc. were completed, she had either gastroenteritis or a stomach virus. We did find out that she may be a Type 2 diabetic as her “fasting” blood sugar was 189 (normal is 80 to 120). I will be making her an appointment with my family doctor in the next several weeks. I took her home and then drove to Savannah for a meeting of the Scottish American Military Society, Post 7, of which I am treasurer. The rest of the week was pretty much routine. Friday evening after getting home from the salon, I put 10 lbs of chicken wings and 10 lbs of flanked (beef ribs) into a Korean marinate for a BBQ on Saturday night. The party is a combination graduation, housewarming and birthday party. However, I got a call Saturday morning that Tom’s, the manager of the Sylvania shop, father had passed away and would I take the folks to work and stay there with them as it was the day before Mother’s Day. Needless to say, it was a busy day and many folks were introduced to Barbara M Davidson! I got a lot of “yes mam’s or no mam’s”. Made feel good to be accepted as the person I was presenting. The party was eventually called off as the graduates from Georgia Southern threw their party Friday night and several couples had other plans as it mother’s day and several went to Atlanta due the passing of Mr. Tu Tran. As a result, my son and his girl friend came over and we are grilled some of the wings and ribs for supper when I got home. Sunday after church, I grilled the rest of the wings as they had been previously frozen. The ribs that were left had never been frozen so I put them in the freezer for a later date. Monday and Tuesday I had to spend the day in Sylvania managing the shop as Tom was still in Atlanta due to his father’s death. It felt good to hear the customers say yes mam and no mam to me. (Little did they know?) I did run back to the Boro for several hours to 14 have my pre -op work up. I still have to get my labs done and have an echo as well as a stress test to conclude my pre -op work up. So far everything looks great. If my stress test is ok, then I will schedule my surgery for June. It will be $5,500 out of my pocket as a majority of plastic surgery is not covered by insurance. However, since I had not seen my cardiologist in over a year, his office is billing the insurance as an annual physical work up. We closed the shop Monday evening at 6 pm and will be doing the same on Tuesday as I have my Lions Club meeting at 7:30 Tuesday evening and cannot miss it as I am secretary. Tuesday, we wound up closing the shop at 5 pm as we only did 2 customers all day. Wednesday morning, I was out the door at 8 AM headed to the hospital to get some of my pre-op blood work as part of my physical. It felt great to be back in the place where I worked for 18 years of my live (as Bill). Many folks that I worked with in the past came up and greeted me. There were a few that did not recognize me at first. In the lab the receptionist got a puzzled look when she pulled up my record and it said William, thus I told her she needed to merge the two records under my new name and go from there. After having my labs drawn, which required fasting, I had a slight breakfast there and spoke with another group of folks; again, some did not know who I was at first. From there, I paid some bills, went to the tanning salon and spent the rest of the day in the nail shop. In reference to my remarks about doing a Google search of my name and finding things that I was not aware of, I have since deleted my face book account as well as my flicker account. That in turn deleted a number of photos that I had forgotten about. If I knew how to delete some of the other things, I would do so also. There is a copy of a 2010 issue of the PTG magazine (I did not post it), referenced to some notes to a funeral home that I posted several condolences to a deceased friend and a link to the Pink Essence Group with some of my postings. So again Ladies I say be careful what you post on the internet. On another issue concerning my monthly articles, as they are beginning to look more like a diary, at least to me. I was wondering how others felt/feel about my articles or is it time for me to step aside for some of our “younger and more aspiring writers” to show their talents. After 4 years, I have pretty much covered a multitude of things that have occurred in my life as I made my transition from being Bill to becoming Barbara Marie. A favor of a reply is requested by me as to should I keep going (writing) or not. Now that Mother’s Day has come and gone, I hope that your wives and mothers were blessed with a day of happiness and joy on their day. Just remember who the most important women are in your life and put them first and then yourself. That way one should fine happiness and joy as well as a supportive, wife, partner or family. That is my feelings on this subject. With that, I wish everyone a safe and happy Memorial Day weekend. Barbara Marie Davidson 15 Tasi’s Musings, June 2012 Life Goes On in Merida. I don’t know what it is about being retired, but I seem to have less time now than ever before; probably because I have all these projects that I’m working on. Foremost of these projects is my website called Sister House, but that’s a story for another column. I’m also talking to an undisclosed organization about a TG conference in Merida next year…..we’ll see what happens. And then there’s the daily routine. We continue to explore the city and probably one of the more interesting places is the Mercado or http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UA48DdYLIAk&feature=relmfu central market. You can find anything here from soup to appliances and WOW, is it ever colorful. Just be aware that this is where the everyday people shop. Now least you think that the city is not so fashionable after that, then check out this clip on a vintage fashion fare right here in Merida http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-zhP5l1tIeY, SUPRISE!! I hope you will also take a few moments to check out my latest column in TG Forum (http:// www.tgforum.com/wordpress/) titled, “Are You Suffering from ABD, (Abundant Black Disorder) ” Quote for the month: “The most important thing in a woman's wardrobe is a full length mirror" Coco Chanel In the News Jenna Talackova We still have a long way to go, though, but we’ll get there. We’re very proud of Jenna Talackova, a transgender lady. She made it to the Top 12 in the Miss Universe Canada competition — which is an amazing accomplishment for any woman in that pageant. Kudos to Donald Trump, as well, for doing the right thing in re-instating Jenna to the competition. Way to go! Kudos to Gloria Allred, Jenna’s lawyer, for standing up for Jenna’s rights. Ascena Retail to buy Charming Shoppes Women's apparel retailer Ascena Retail Group Inc. has agreed to acquire the parent company of Lane Bryant and Fashion Bug for $890 million, according to The Wall Street Journal. Charm- 16 ing had planned earlier to sell Fashion Bug so it could concentrate on its Lane Bryant brand, which caters to plus-size women by offering clothing sizes 14 through 28. Like many retailers, Charming has faced rising product costs and tightened spending on the part of consumers in recent years. As of March, the company operated 1,857 stores in 48 states, including 802 Lane Bryant stores. Acquiring Charming gives Ascena entry into the large-size women's clothing market. The company operates stores under the Dressbarn, Maurices and Justice brands. Dressbarn and Maurices offer clothing for young and older women, while Justice caters to tween girls ages 7 to 14. All told, Ascena operates more than 2,500 stores in the U.S., Puerto Rico and Canada. On a personal note, I recently wrote a letter to the President of Lane Bryant commending an employee, Mrs. Diana Castaneda. This is what I wrote: As a shopper in Lane Bryant stores for many years, I would like to commend an employee, Mrs. Diana Castaneda of Store 6043 in the Las Palmas Marketplace, El Paso, Texas. Mrs. Castaneda exemplifies style and grace in her personal appearance and enthusiasm, confidence, and expertise in her interaction with customers. I have shopped in many plus-size stores across the country, but my experience with Diana stands out above all the others. She made me feel comfortable and wanted, which is important because I am a transgendered woman. And her choice of clothes for me was extraordinarily complimentary, not easy for a 26/28 size lady. It is truly rare to meet a lady of Diana’s caliber in any store and I would like to thank her and the Lane Bryant chain for the experience. We should all take the time to recognize those that help us be who we are. Oldest Sex Change Patient A FORMER RAF navigator from Denton is set to become the oldest person to have a sex change operation on the British National Health Service (NHS). Ruth Rose, 78, from St Martin’s Crescent, spent most of her life as James and said she had always dreamed of becoming a woman since she was a child. She explained she hoped her feelings would go away when she got married and had children, but they never did. Ms Rose said: “You have responsibilities. You can’t just give up and say: ‘Sorry I’m going to become a woman’. “Life has responsibilities of jobs, family and all the rest of it.”. It wasn’t until she got divorced in 2003 that she realized her dream of living life as a woman could come true. She said: “It was only then I could consider what I could do with the rest of my life.” Ms Rose has spent the past three years living life as a woman A spokesperson for NHS Sussex 17 said: “Gender re-assignment surgery is considered only after completion of a long and robust process of diagnosis and assessments involving psychiatrists and other clinicians - and after living several years as a woman/man. “As in the case of all operations, this procedure is to meet clinical needs and would be carried out only if the patient is deemed fit enough. In 2009, the NHS in England conducted 154 sex change operations. 14 Year-Old Asks Seventeen Magazine for Non-Photo shopped Images of Real Girls More than 7,000 people have joined a popular campaign on Change.org calling on Seventeen Magazine to print one unaltered photo spread per month. Julia Bluhm, a 14 year-old member of the girl- led SPARK Movement, is leading the campaign on Change.org following Glamour Magazine’s recent decision to stop altering photos of models to make them appear slimmer. Bluhm, an eighth grade ballet dancer, says she hopes Seventeen will decide to follow suit to promote positive body image amongst their teen readership. “I’m a teenage girl, and I know how it feels to think you’re not good enough….I want girls to be able to feel good about themselves, and being able to relate to the images in the magazines we read will help.” “I started this petition to help girls see that they’re not alone,” Bluhm added. “Seventeen Magazine is supposed to be a relatable magazine, right? How can we relate to computer altered photos? Seventeen is popular with my friends and lots of teen girls. If they agree to print one unaltered spread a month, they could start a trend that will help so many girls like me feel better about their bodies.” Along with her online petition, Bluhm and her friends are also gathering printed signatures in the lunchroom at her school. Senior Campaigner Shelby Knox says, “She’s a total powerhouse, walking around with her friends at school to gather handwritten signatures for her petition. Between that and social media, Julia’s managed to recruit more than 7,000 supporters from 15 states. It’s been incredible to watch her campaign take off.” Government New App for Reporting Discrimination to TSA: Fly Rights The Sikh Coalition launched a free mobile phone app that makes it easier to file complaints with the Transportation Security Administration (TSA). The new app – called Fly Rights http:// fly-rights.org/ – allows anyone to file complaints in just a couple of minutes, as soon as they leave airport security. Fly Rights makes the process very user- friendly by automatically populating things like your name, contact information and the airport you are in, and will automatically submit your complaint to the TSA and the Department of Homeland Security. 18 NCTE encourages transgender travelers, and anyone who experiences disrespect or mistreatment because they are perceived as gender non-conforming, to use this app to file complaints with TSA/DHS. If you file a complaint, be sure to indicate that it concerns gender discrimination. And share this app with family and friends so everyone knows it’s available. TSA recently put up a webpage http://transgenderequality.wordpress.com/2012/03/16/tsa-postsinfo-for-trans-travelers/ with information for transgender travelers, and has begun to incorporate respect for transgender people into employee training – but there is still a ways to go, and some problems will continue as long as TSA relies on invasive screening procedures. NCTE plans to put out a new resource on airport security in the coming weeks. The President I’m not a hugh fan of either political party, but this Presidency seems to have done more for the LGBT community than others in recent years. Be sure and check out www.whitehouse.gov/lgbt. EEOC Rules in Favor of Transgender Woman Photo: Mia Macy, whose case led to an unprecedented decision by the Equal Employment Opportunity Commission, and her wife, Trish. (Photo courtesy of the Macys.)] An employer who discriminates against an employee or applicant on the basis of the person's gender identity is violating the prohibition on sex discrimination contained in Title VII of the Civil Rights Act of 1964, according to an opinion issued on April 20 by the Equal Employment Opportunity Commission (EEOC). The opinion, experts say, could dramatically alter the legal landscape for transgender workers across the nation. The full story is here from Metro Weekly: "Transgender Breakthrough," Books and Movies A Night at the Vibrator Museum The silver, hand-cranked contraption is usually kept behind glass at Good Vibrations’ Antique Vibrator Museum in San Francisco — but staff sexologist Carol Queen made a rare exception. “This is very special,” she whispered, unlocking the case and carefully pulling out Dr. Johansen’s Auto Vibrator, a relic from 1904. The “auto” part is not so much: It was a two-person job, with her 19 having to crank the device’s handle to get it thrumming. Pressing my finger tips to its inch-wide circular platform of pleasure, I was pleasantly surprised by its power. The U.S. release this week of “Hysteria,” a Maggie Gyllenhaal flick about a Victorian-era doctor who invents an electric massager and uses it to bring about “paroxysms” of relief in female patients with “hysteria,” seemed like a good excuse to get a private tour of the museum, which provided vibes that appear in the film, to learn about the history that’s left out of the movie’s fictionalized story line — and, of course, to try out antique pleasure devices while on the clock. http://www.salon.com/2012/05/20/a_night_at_the_vibrator_museum/?source=newsletter Patrons Defend Transgender Waitress at N.J. Diner “What Would You Do?” tested people’s acceptance of transgender with a scenario set at Colonial Diner in Lyndhurst, N.J. Carmen Carrera, a 26- year-old transgender woman who has appeared on “RuPaul’s Drag Race,” played herself as if she were a waitress at the diner. Kevin, an actor, played a longtime customer back from a yearlong trip who deplores that the waiter he knew and liked as “Christopher” is now a woman. Watch for the surprise ending here: http://abcnews.go.com/blogs/entertainment/2012/05/patrons-defend-transgender-waitress-at-nj-diner/ Fashion and Beauty Introducing the Hello Style YouTube channel What do you get when Marie Claire, Seventeen Magazine, Harper’s Bazaar, and Cosmopolitan combine their fashion powers and create shows featuring awesome fashion tips, celebrity makeovers, and MUCH more?? You get the new “Hello Style” channel on YouTube! This FABULOUS new style channel has become my newest guilty pleasure. Launching just two weeks ago, the channel already has over a half million page views!! The weekly lineup is as follows: Monday - You may be familiar with Marie Claire Magazine’s column “Big Girl in a Skinny World” by Nicolette Mason. Well, Marie Claire has a segment/show on this channel by the same name, hosted by Marcy Guevara and Nicolette Mason! And Marcy is one of my style icons for plus-size women. New Series Produced by Stacy London Has A Name, ‘Big Brooklyn Style’ Photo Credit: Lee Lee Valise Described as, “plus-size fashion without the minuses of mainstream retail traditions”, TLC’s newest series will follow husband and wife business owners Lisa and Jim Dolan, as they revise and revolutionize the norms of plus-size shopping experiences in their clothing store, Lee Lee’s Valise. During the eight episode season, each episode will focus on three different customers as their intimate shopping experience at the store, combined with Lisa’s distinctive clothing line, helps 20 transform their lives. The new series Big Brooklyn Style will launch at 10 p.m. and will follow a new season of What Not To Wear. Fashion for Plus -Size Women Macy’s spokesperson, Tracie Stern, talks about fashion for the plus-size women now that warm weather is here with all its fashion options. Hey! I’m off to shop at Macys http://www.chicagoshopping.com/videogallery/69800600/News/VIDEO-Fashion- for-Plus-SizeWomen New Plus -Size Fashion Line from Sears Sears is announcing its launch of Beverly Push, a fashion collection built with women's curves in your mind. Beverly Drive is a modern day, plus-size clothing line which will expand Sears' style attractions, Hermes handbags shop making the store a go-to destination for any plus-size women who wants to dress the woman best, from workweek to weekend. Plus-size girls across the country can look to Beverly Push to build or spruce up their wardrobes having fashionable tops, lows, dresses and denim-designed used only for them, at reasonable prices. http://www.tcentant.x10hosting.com/lmsw19/content/new-plus-size- fashion- line-sears-offeringmodern-style- greater-range-wome Bring It Up Bring It Up’s new facelift products, particularly the brow lift, warrant your attention. As a lady with hooded eyes, those brow lifts will certainly improve my smile J http:// www.bringitup.com/index.html Humor. Boob Clamp (thanks to Marci at Dual- Gendered Yahoo group) It's the boob clamp! This is funny as hell. Commercial advertising the Boob Clamp, which is basically just a glorified corset that not only pushes up your boobs, but pushes them in too, giving your chest some epic cleavage! http://www.youtube.com/watch? gl=US&feature=related&v=KipizUR3vxQ And your final thought for the day “ I'm gonna buy this thing! I put it on this morning and I said to myself: 'Oh Jenna, what were you thinking?” —Jenna Lyons to Guardian U.K So until next month, Hugs to everyone …….Tasi 21 Humor—Laugh for a Day! 22 Gin ger Den ise D eMa nn Angels In The Centerfold Camille Brandon 23 Lizzie K Katie Stevens Veronica Lynn Sevier 24 Tammy Truehart Su zan eO livi a Mandy Burgundy 25 Kathy Ann Jasmine Soto ae M gie g a M San dy S ea Tif fan y 26 27 Mellissalynn’s Tips & Tricks Hi, girls! It's June, and welcome to summer! It's hot out, and time to bust out the cute little camis and tank tops and shorts and swimsuits. I hope everyone had a great Memorial Day weekend and had lots of fun. I'd love to hear about yours; if you want to share a story, or a tip or an idea, feel free to write me at [email protected] . On with the column! 28 @@@@@@@@@@@ Want to do an at-home deep conditioning treatment on your hair? Here's a great method to try, using olive oil. Take 1 tablespoon of olive oil for fine or short hair, or 2-3 tablespoons for thick or longer hair, and massage it into your hair and scalp. Heat a towel in the microwave then place it over your hair for 15-30 minutes. This allows the heat to really penetrate into your hair. Shampoo, rinse, and condition as normal. @@@@@@@@@@@ To hide under-eye bags, take a vivid pearl highlighter and dot it on the inner corner of your eye, under the lower lid, and on the outer corner of the eyebrow. The strategic location of the highlighter will catch the light and create the optical illusion that your eyes are brighter and more awake which takes attention away from red eyes or puffiness. @@@@@@@@@@@ This is a professional trick to really make your lashes stand out. Apply a touch of a light, shimmery shadow right in the middle of your eyelid; it should be like you pressed it on with your pinkie. After you apply your mascara or curl your lashes, they'll really pop with the bit of brightness behind them. @@@@@@@@@@@ Did you know that you can get free makeup for recycling containers? Yep! For example, MAC will give you a free lipstick for returning six empty MAC containers, either through the mail or in person. So check out your favorite cosmetics to see if you can find a good deal for recycling. @@@@@@@@@@@ Here's a basic primer for using dry shampoo. Section your hair and sprinkle or spray the shampoo lightly right on the roots. Let the shampoo sit a moment or so to soak up the oil. Bend over and massage the shampoo in, then brush your hair thoroughly, and remember to brush the underside. For a quick job, focus on the oily areas, such as your hairline and the top of your head. For darker hair, find a colored dry shampoo that matches as closely as possible to your hair color. Remember to use a pinch of pomade afterward to give your hair a touch of shine. @@@@@@@@@@@ I received an e- mail from Wanda recently, asking me about how to avoid getting mascara under her eyes. Well, Wanda, the reason this happens is that you get some extra moisture under your eyes, and the mascara is pulled from your lashes and trapped by it. What you can do is dust a little bit of translucent powder on top of your concealer or foundation with a large shadow brush before you apply your mascara. 29 @@@@@@@@@@@ When using bold colors on your eyes, remember to keep the lines sharp and defined. If it's smudged, it just looks sloppy. @@@@@@@@@@@ I read in the USA Today recently that horse chestnut pills can help to reduce varicose veins. According the article, taking a dose between 250-800mg daily will give great results in as little as two weeks. Caveat emptor... @@@@@@@@@@@ Here's a trick to make your eyes pop. Thickly line your bottom lashes with a black, gray, or purple kohl liner. Close your eye tightly and gently run a cotton swab that's angled on one end back and forth along your lashes, rubbing the liner up onto your upper lid. Finish this out by opening your eye and smudging up and outward at the corners. This creates a little bit of lift and will give you a soft, smoky, youthful look. @@@@@@@@@@@ Honey is a girl's best friend for getting soft, lush, plump lips. Take a drop or so and a soft toothbrush and gently rub the bristles against our lips in a circular motion. The toothbrush will get rid of dead skin and the honey locks in moisture while healing and protecting your lips. This will leave your lips looking naturally rosy, and all you'll need is a quick bit of alcohol- free lip balm. @@@@@@@@@@@ Would you like to have higher cheekbones? Well, here's how you can make it look like you do, without surgery. Sweep a matte bronzer into the hollows of your cheeks then apply a rosy blush high on the apples of the cheeks. @@@@@@@@@@@ When applying powder, you need to be careful not to layer it too heavily around your eyes and mouth. The powder will accentuate and wrinkles that might be present. Try using a wide soft brush to lightly sweep the powder over your nose and forehead then dust it around you eyes and mouth. The lighter amount of powder remaining on the brush will still cut any shine, but won't show so much that you have lines visible. @@@@@@@@@@@ Have you ever had a yellowish tinge to your nails after wearing a darker polish? Hydrogen peroxide will fix that. Using 3% hydrogen peroxide, pour some into a bowl and soak your nails for 30 one to two minutes. The peroxide will cause the pigment molecules in the polish to oxidize and restore your natural color. @@@@@@@@@@@ A quick note about daytime versus nighttime moisturizing: we moisturize during the day to protect our skin from the elements. At night, we do it for nourishing the skin. What this means is that night creams are a bit richer than ones used for daytime. Having said this, also bear in mind that oily skin needs a lighter, oilfree cream than for dry skin. Lastly, it's not necessary to match your daytime and night creams, regardless of what the manufacturers would have you believe. @@@@@@@@@ I may have used this tip recently, but I know I used it myself recently, so it bears repeating. In an emergency, or even just for regular use, baby wipes are very effective in quickly removing your eye makeup. The cleansers contained in a baby wipe are gentle enough to not irritate your eyes, but strong enough to loosen and remove your makeup, even a waterproof mascara. @@@@@@@@@@@ Did you know that your lip balm can be used to help your nails grow? Yep! Lip balms are rich in emollients and rather thick; by rubbing some on your cuticles, you moisten them and encourage the nails to grow faster and better. @@@@@@@@@@@ All right, ladies, I can't be indoors any longer. The sun is shining and it's time to go work on some tan lines (I hope)! So I'm going to wrap this column up with one last thing: we're changing seasons, and you know that means it's time to start thinking about going through your makeup and cleaning house again. Just in case you forgot...I love to hear from you all! So again, any ideas or tips or suggestions are welcome. Feel free to send them to me at [email protected] , and you very likely 31 will see your name in print! Until next month, girls, have a great June, and I'll talk to you all in July! 32 The Adventures of Judy Sometimes By: Judy Danials Happy Cinco de Derby Well, another Kentucky Derby party is in the books and what a wild time it was. As I said my wife and I chose a combination of the two events as far as are wardrobe went and it resulted in us winning a prize for having the largest hats at the party. The guest list climbed to about 60 as race time drew near and as tradition we all sang My Old Kentucky Home before the race. Our host Brittney is orginally from Kentucky and she's one southern gal who knows how to throw a party. About 7:00 we wrapped things up at Dempseys and decide to move the party down the street to the Empire. During the 4 block walk down Broadway we, needless to say, drew a lot of attention with our hats and dresses. Several people stopped us and asked if they could get a picture with us and of course we obliged. Once we settled in at the Empire we were joined by other Cinco de Mayo(ers) and we all had a great time. At some point there were a couple shots of tequila and the night started to really roll. Around 10 we headed to the VFW and things definitely took a strange twist, for me anyway. Now, its not unusual for us to draw attetion to ourselves as my lady friends and I tend to be the life of the party wherever we go. Throw in our outfits and a tall blond cder and people tend to take an interest. By now I was feeling no pain and apparently a few others were in the same shape as I started gaining a lot of attention...from both men and women. Of course my lady friends always ride me for hogging all of the attention and tonight I had about a half dozen admires including one young lady who wrapped herself around me and gave me a big wet one right on the lips. It was pretty obvious she knew that I was a guy and she wanted to know just how this girl had such wonderful breasts and gave both my forms a big squeeze which brought on a bit of laughter from all in our group. Before we knew it she went around the table and gave all the ladies the same treatment, surprisingly no one seemed to mind. Later in the evening a couple guys at the bar came over and gave me a high five. I'm not sure if they were jealous of all the women I had with me or congratulating me for having the balls for being a guy in a dress. I guess it doesn't really matter as a good time was had by all. Now, I just have to figure out how to deal with this hangover. Judy (I just love being one of the girls) sometimes 33 How to Measure Your Bra Size By Rachel Shelasky and Julee A. Wilson Wearing the wrong bra size can ruin an otherwise flawless outfit. These step-by-step measuring instructions will ensure a perfect fit. Are You Wearing the Right Size? Here are a few telltale signs that you may not be: wrinkling in the cups, underwire poking the sides of your breasts, a band that rides up, cup spillage, slipping straps, or a bra that hikes up when you lift your arms, says Sandi Simon, a fit consultant at Bra Smyth, in New York City. (Keep in mind that certain factors can cause you to change bra size: a weight gain or loss, a new exercise regimen, pregnancy, and a change of diet, among them.) If you suffer from any of the fit issues above, head to a professional bra fitter—or bust out the measuring tape and follow the steps here. Step 1: Determine Your Band Size While braless or wearing a non-padded bra, measure around the bottom of the band, directly under your bust. The measuring tape should be level and very snug. Round to the nearest whole number. If the number is even, add four inches. If it’s odd, add five. Your band size is the sum of this calculation. (So if you measured 32 inches, your band size is 36. If you measured 33 inches, your band size is 38.) Step 2: Take Your Bust Measurement Wrap the measuring tape somewhat loosely around the fullest part of your chest (at nipple level). Round to the nearest whole number. Step 3: Calculate Your Cup Size Subtract your band size from your bust measurement and refer to chart. Example: 37 inches (bust) – 34 inches (band) = 3 inches. That’s a 34C. 34 So how can you tell if a particular style fits? Try these tips: Bend forward at the waist, then slip on the bra and hook it. This ensures your breasts are completely in the cups. Adjust the band. The back of the bra should be level with the front. Make sure the bra is not too tight. Slide two fingers underneath the straps and under the band. Fix falling straps. First, tighten the band, then shorten the straps. Put on a close-fitting shirt over the bra. If the cups pucker or your breasts bulge, you're not wearing the correct size. Look at yourself sideways in a mirror. Your breasts should sit midway between your shoulders and elbows. If not, you need a more supportive and better-fitting bra. If you need to go down a cup size for fit, go up one band size, and vice versa. For example, if a 34C is too big for you, move to a 36B. Choose a bra that fits perfectly when secured on the outermost hook. As the bra loosens over time, make the band taut by moving toward the tightest hook. Breast Forms By: Barbara Jean Boobs; if you’re a girl you gotta have boobs. If you want to look like a girl you gotta have boobs. But what if your own are small? What if you don’t have any? The answer then is breast forms. Be it to add a little to what you have or add a lot to what you don’t have. Breast forms are the answer. Some of us will use the homemade ones. That works for a little while. But getting the shape and the feel can be a different story there. Eventually we go for some commercially made forms. Commercially made forms, well what we hear about most is silicone forms. Not cheap, but they do have the look and the feel of real breast. Of course these will cost you $100 plus. But there is another form that is available though, some that are called PALS. PALS are NOT 35 silicon, but by the look and feel you would not really know it. Further more should you desire they can be trimmed for a custom fit. I purchased my first set of PALS in 2005 and I still use them today. I have had them now for seven years and they still are like new. I have worn them every day for the past 2 years and they have outlasted a pair of silicon forms that I had. PALS now also come with a 5 year warranty. Perhaps one of the real beauties of the PALS breast forms is that they are at least half the price of silicon forms. PALS come in many different shapes and sizes. I opted for the teardrop form which has a wing that can be placed to the side or up. The ones that take you from a flat chest to a B cup cost less than $50. This is the ones I originally had, but I wanted a slightly larger pair and so I ordered the C cup size for $64.95. The largest form they have will take you from a 40A to a 40DDD cost under $180. All but the very largest of forms can be attached with Aleene’s tack it which is available from Super Gel Products or from a craft store (I even found it at Wal Mart) PALS are shipped the next day from the factory in Riverside California via Priority mail and you will receive them in like 2 or 3 days after you order them. Check them out at their website http://www.supergelproducts.com The Great Bra Strap Debate: The Argument Against Showing Bra Straps SweetiePie from Southern California, USA I would not want bra straps showing when wearing a dress like this. 36 Have you ever heard the expression if you cannot afford the bra do not wear the shirt? I used to hear college friends say this in reference to fellow classmates that walked around campus with their bra straps hanging out. There are some pretty bras with lacy straps where this look does work, but unless you are Carrie Bradshaw circa Sex and the City there is little getting away with wearing a black bra under a see through top. Well maybe at certain functions and events, but not to work or fancy dinners. Even your friends might get tired of seeing your bra stick out when you meet them for coffee, so do not give freedom of speech as a free license to let your bra hang out. I am not saying all bra straps should be hidden, but if they are not the lacy or decorative type it is better to cover these up. Strapless Bras The strapless bra is toted as the undergarment to eradicate all those unsightly straps, but what are the pros, and what are the cons: Pros: You do not have to adjust your bra straps. Many strapless bras are convertible with detachable straps. There are affordable strapless bras on the market. Strapless bras work well with strapless tops, dresses, and evening gowns. Cons: Strapless bras pinch and often leave red marks. Strapless bras are uncomfortable. Strapless bras slide down easily, and thus have to be readjusted more than bras with straps. When I was in my earlier twenties I thought wearing a strapless bra would be a good thing to do with dresses that had thinner straps, but this did not work for me. The bras would often slip down and I would have to excuse myself to go readjust it. Bras With Pretty Straps Bras with pretty straps are often meant to be seen, even peeking through the thin straps of your shirt. So what are some of the pros and cons of bras with lacy or fancy straps: Pros: A bra with pretty straps can be even worn with a strapless top if it both match. A bra with pretty straps look like it was purposely part of the outfit. A bra with pretty straps are more comfortable than the strapless variety. Cons: Bras with pretty straps should are not appropriate for work. If the bra straps are showing these have to match your outfit. Personally I would not want my bra straps hanging out, even if these were pretty, but that is just me. Some women seem to be able to pull off this look well, but it is certainly not appropriate for most work sites. Eyelet Sweaters To Cover Bra Straps Since I hate wearing strapless bras I sometimes have no alternative, but to wear a top where my bra straps may show a little. Rather than go out in public that way, I simply throw a eyelet sweater over it, which works even in the warmer seasons because these are lighter pieces. Actually I wore an eyelet sweater a few times with the dress above because I got tired of having to adjust errant bra straps. What are the pros and cons of wearing an eyelet sweater over an outfit to conceal bra straps: 37 Pros: Eyelet sweaters cover up part of your body without being as heavy as traditional cardigans. Eyelet sweaters come in a variety of colors. Cons: An eyelet sweaters have to match the outfit you are wearing. Some people become too warm wearing eyelet sweaters in the summer time. Camisole Tops With Built In Bras There was a time with a pretty camisole top was considered an undergarment, but today women can even been seen pairing these with business jackets. Spaghetti strap tops with built in bras often look more like camisole tops, especially if these have lace detailing. Camisole tops can even be worn in casual settings, or under a top or dress that has thick straps. I often wore cami tops under some of my dresses because these did not show through as with bra straps. So what are some of the pros and cons of cami tops: Come in a variety of colors. Cute lace detailing adds to an allure of your ensemble. Cami tops can be worn under a business jacket during the day, and by itself for a night on the town. Cons: Cami tops with built in bras do not always give some women enough support. Cami and spaghetti straps can cut into your shoulders if the top does not fit properly. There are many alternatives to showing off your bra straps this summer, but you can do that if desired. Personally, bra straps are not that big of a deal, are they? Going Stealth ~ Brent Walsh TransFormation Ministry Going “stealth” is a term often used to describe someone who transitions to their true gender, and then slips into the fabric of society, rarely revealing that they are transgender. No one knows to ask, and they don’t care to tell. In some cases the people who have gone stealth are criticized by those who are more visible; they are perceived as selfish for not offering up their experiences as a guide for those who would transition after them. “Everyone starts somewhere,” the opponents argue, “and you could be an integral part of the support network for someone who is considering transition.” Others point out that one’s transition has a huge influence over the person they are, and they should celebrate it instead of hiding it. But there are many reasons people choose not to be out about their transition. Some have said that they invested so much time, money and energy in becoming the man or 38 woman they have always wanted to be that they don’t want to live the rest of their lives being known as transgender. “Being transgender does not define me,” a friend said to me once. “I’m just a guy. I’ve always been a guy. Sure, I had to do a bit of redecorating to appreciate what I see in the mirror, but a lot of guys do that and no one expects them to tell the world about it.” They see this label as putting them in a box they don’t want to be in. Some people have negative experiences related to their transition, and they don’t want to make themselves vulnerable again. Attacks can come from strangers or family, employers or religion. One person equated it to a cancer survivor who doesn’t tell anyone she ever had cancer because she wanted to be known for much more than surviving a disease. Assumptions are made when you tell people something like that; they treat you differently whether those assumptions have any merit or not. educator about trans* issues. They don’t want to be the go-to person anytime someone “knows a friend of a friend…” who might need someone to talk to about their gender. They don’t want to field uncomfortable questions about their genitals, which suddenly seem like fair game because they are of immense interest to well-intentioned supporters. Recently my friend, Jessica, noted: “Being born trans is one of the most difficult realities that any human being can face. Some people are shaped by their scars to become fighters. Others are shaped to become diplomats. Others may simply need to huddle in the background in stealth mode because they are just too injured to do much else.” It’s true that we need many people to be open about their transition experiences. If we do not educate society about transgender issues, who will? But it’s also true that not everyone is intended to fill that role, nor is everyone gifted to do so. The reason we fight so hard for transgender rights is so that people can just be who they are. We are judged enough by society; we should not impose more judgment on one another, including those who prefer going stealth. ~ Brent Walsh 39 Tasi’s Fashion Forum Are You Suffering from ABD (Abundant Black Disorder) Tasi Zuriack Well, I love black. Its classic, it’s practical, it’s thinning and it’s an essential in every well-dressed girl’s wardrobe. And that is besides the fact that black is simplicity and a color that can be worn for every occasion. Did you know that black can compose 20, 40, 60% of your closet and in one example, it was 90% of one woman’s closet (she was blond though). I mean it’s certainly a safe standby when you don’t know what else to wear. So, heresy, not to wear black . Carol Tuttle, Dressing Your Truth, says black may be bold, but it’s a still color. If you are not a bold, striking woman for instance, black could make you look washed out. Now if I told you not to wear pink, yellow, or orange, you probably wouldn’t think much of it, but black. But what if I told you that you will look silly or your face could disappear behind it, or even worse, that you’ll age 10 years. Do I have your attention now? their skin Now I’m not saying to get rid of all your black, because you can still be sparkling with the right accessories, but let’s consider some other colors too. Many mature women worry about drawing too much attention to themselves as they age because and hair slowly fades. But what we really need is a shot of color, because color is energy, and energy is youthful. And isn’t that what we all want — to look youthful, full of life and fabulous!! This summer, there are many new and bold, colorful choices, and these choices can follow you into the fall and winter seasons. If you want simplicity, compare this striking teal dress. The clean lines and relaxed silhouette will give you an elegant look. Pair it with a statement necklace or add a belt to enhance the look. And don’t forget to finish the look with some killer heels, or if those 4 inchers are killing your feet, you might want to consider the smaller-inched kitten heel style. This one hides those lumps and bumps too. Well, if you are brave enough to turn your back on the black and try something bright and fun, another excellent color to start with is green. Green is very sensible and matches almost everyone’s skin tone and hair color. Green is really in style at the moment so now would be an excellent time to get yourself a green dress. You can wear green both during the day and in the evening, so if you are opting for more of a day dress you cannot go wrong with a strappy or sleeveless sundress. 40 I really love this green multi-print sun dress from Roman Originals which looks absolutely stunning and is enough to make any 20-year old jealous! Who says you can’t be sexy with a knee or midi length dress? Another fabulous color is blue. Blues, especially bright and deep blues, have always looked beautiful on any woman, again, with any skin tone or hair color. If you are opting for this color for daytime wear, it’s always best not to be too blue. But if you are looking for an alternative to the black dress purely for the evening, Roman Originals have some really beautiful blue dresses. The most glamorous is the Jade A-Line satin dress — it’s so elegant and beautiful, you’ll wonder why you never bought one before now! White is also a good alternative to black, however, you should be careful when it comes to choosing the cut as anything billowy and white can easily be mistaken for a wedding dress! A safe way to avoid looking like a bride at someone else’s wedding is to choose a white patterned dress. Delicate and pale floral prints always go down a treat, but perhaps the most stylish this season is a white dress with black prints. Black on white looks really good when wearing an A-Line dress or anything that flows as it catches the eye pleasantly rather than a short sharp contrast if you really want to step out in a dazzling flash of color and WOW the competition — this red strapless A-line pleated dress will do the trick. The good news is that all fashion retailers offer a number of bright alternatives to the little black dress this summer. With so many social occasions to attend over the summer introducing a little color will definitely help sets the mood for the wearer. Current trends also include deep purples and plums, or bright and flowery. Leopard print dresses, all available in a variety of lengths to suit a number of different occasions from ultra-smart — such as weddings and other formal events to more casual attire, such as a night out with the girls. So ladies, enjoy your summer in this array of dazzling and beautiful dresses. And until next month, enjoy being the girl that you are and remember, wearing color is the way forward. 41 Top Five Femme Photo Posing Mistakes ABOUT THE AUTHOR: Lucille Sorella is a GG (genetic girl) who teaches crossdressers, transsexuals, and transgender females how to look, act, and feel like real women. Her goal is to help T-women express their inner and outer femininity and increase their confidence as women. She has a professional background in fashion, beauty, dance, and natural healing and has been working with the transgender community for the past 12 years. Her website is loaded with useful information and is located at http://www.flat2fem.com/index1.html Photos are a perfect way to express your femme side – and they can be a huge confidence booster. But I know what it’s like to freeze up as soon as the camera comes out … Bad shots are a bummer, so keep reading to discover the top five femme photo posing mistakes – and how to fix them! 1. Shooting shoulders square on Most crossdressers and transgender women have broad shoulders, so it’s a big mistake to shoot them square on. Instead, pose with your shoulders at an angle to the camera. This makes them look smaller and more feminine. 42 2. Holding your body too straight Posing with your arms, legs, head, and torso too straight makes you look stiff and awkward. It’s also makes you look more masculine. The secret to flattering, feminine photos is to create softness and curves with your body – so bend your arms and legs slightly, tilt your head, lean forward at the waist, and relax your fingers. 3. Shooting in unflattering light Lighting makes ALL the difference in the world in photos. The #1 rule is to avoid strong overhead or side lighting since this creates ugly shadows on the face. If you are indoors, move away from overhead lights and try placing a couple table lamps with soft lighting around you. If you are outdoors, avoid shooting in strong midday sunlight. The best time of day is to shoot at dusk or dawn when the sun has a soft, diffuse glow. 43 4. Placing the camera below eye level Nobody wants to rock a double chin in their photos, so never pose with the camera below eye level. The lens should be at or above eye level to diminish a double chin and downplay a large jawline. 5. Not engaging your mind I’m a huge fan of “America’s Next Top Model”. I love how the show demonstrates that modeling is as much about mindset as it is about natural-born beauty. If a model isn’t feeling fabulous, it WILL show in her photos. The same is true for you! You need to psych yourself up so you feel as stunning as possible during your photo shoot. Having trouble mustering up your confidence? One trick is to imagine that you are portraying a character (either real or imagined). “Modeling” somebody else is a great way to channel their energy in photos. 44 (Note from Mellissalynn: One of Lucille’s readers, Barbara, added a tip in a reply to this article that just begs to be included here: “Hello Lucille, also remember to check for unwanted reflections and light sources behind you! Some of these can be Photoshopped out afterward, but get in the habit of checking for glass or metal that may reflect the camera flash, such as picture frames or windows. I like to set up a mirror just behind the camera, so that I can check my pose and smile just as the shutter clicks–be your own director when taking your own pictures.” Thanks, Barbara, for such a great idea!) Do I Really Need to Dry-Clean This? If you’re on the fence, these three considerations will guide you to your answer. by Nykia Spradley 1. Interpret the label. Most manufacturers are required to list just one way to clean a garment. If the tag says DRY-CLEAN ONLY, obey it. If it says DRY-CLEAN, that means that is the recommended method, not the only method. 2. Consider the fabric. Unless the label suggests otherwise, bring silk, acetate, velvet, wool, and taffeta items to the dry cleaner. Cotton, linen, cashmere, polyester, acrylic, and nylon can usually be washed at home. 45 Just check for colorfastness first: Moisten a cotton swab with mild detergent and dab it on a hidden seam to see if any dye comes off. 3. Test the detailing. Often care instructions are for the fabric only? not the accents, which may be tacked on at another factory. That’s why you see EXCLUSIVE OF DECORATIVE TRIM on some tags. Before you wash anything with beading, sequins, and the like, make sure they are sewn on (you’ll see stitches, not glue) and colorfast (quickly dab a wet cotton swab over each type of accent to see if any dye comes off). Determined to Wash It at Home? Here’s How 1. Machine-wash the garment if you’re certain that’s OK (always check first before washing). To minimize agitation, turn the item inside out, place it in a mesh bag, and run a short, delicate cycle. 2. In every other case, hand wash. Use cold water to prevent shrinking and bleeding, and a mild detergent (try Ivory Snow 2X Concentrated liquid detergent; $4.50 for 25 ounces). 3. Always? always? skip the dryer. Too much heat harms the accents and the fibers. Instead, gently push out excess water (don’t twist) and lay the garment flat to dry on a white towel to prevent discoloring. Or let a garment air-dry on top of a working dryer. The moderate heat given off by the machine will speed up the process. 46 The Essentials of a Well-Balanced Wardrobe By Karen Kozlowski Fill your closet with wardrobe essentials from five basic "clothing groups," and you'll never again ask "What should I wear?" The Well-Balanced Wardrobe Remember the food pyramid from nutrition class? If you apply its principles (variety, moderation, portion control) to what you put in your closet, you'll have a well-balanced wardrobe that makes getting dressed easy. Load up on your basics, go easy on the patterns, and indulge in one showstopper for special occasions. Follow these guidelines to the wardrobe essentials you need to satisfy? and streamline? your daily dressing requirements. The Basics Build a strong foundation with a strategic selection of basics that will mix with almost everything in your closet. Shown, left to right: Black tank: A white tank looks right at the gym and for casual outings, but a black one can be worn with everything from khakis to a cocktail skirt. Crewneck sweater: Opt for thin knits in cotton or wool that layer easily. Jeans: It's worth paying extra for jeans that actually fit and flatter. Your best bet? Stretch denim with no more than 2 percent Lycra (the fabric will follow your curves and keep its shape). Long-sleeve white T -shirt: Looking thin in white doesn't have to be difficult. The trick? Choose a slim-fit T-shirt that skims over your body (but doesn't cling). Khakis: Forget the pleats (a flat front is more flattering) and forgo the front crease, too. After all, these are casual pants. 47 More Basics Shown, left to right: Black turtleneck: Cashmere is worth splurging on? you get more warmth with less bulk. White button-down: A fitted one will get the most use, because it's easier to tuck in and looks neater when left out. Long-sleeve black T -shirt: A surprisingly sophisticated layering piece, this works well under a dress shirt? or even a dress. Cardigan: A neutral shade offers the most versatility; a longer style that hits at the hip is the most attractive cut. Short-sleeve white T -shirt: White tees become unwearable quickly? so skip the designer versions and buy a bunch of cheap ones, then replace as needed. Black pants: Get the most out of these pants by selecting a style made of an allseason fabric, like tropical wool or viscose. Denim jacket: A darker wash and a slimmer fit look more polished. Short-sleeve black T-shirt: The best short-sleeve length is about 1/2 to 1 inch longer than a typical cap sleeve? it shows just the right amount of arm. The Staples Daily rations of these wardrobe workhorses will help get you through the week. Maximize versatility with neutral shades and classic cuts. Shown, left to right: Wool skirt: An A -line style suits most figures, and pockets add practicality. Black suit: Splurge-worthy? Definitely. Pinstriped oxford: Update this classic by choosing an unexpected color. 48 More Staples Shown, left to right: Black dress: A shirtdress style can be worn every day, every season. Silk blouse: A jewel tone accentuates the luxuriousness of the fabric. Gray trousers: Charcoal pants look dressier than heather gray. Fitted jacket: Leave enough breathing room for a sweater or a camisole. Camisole: Go for an unembellished style and leave the lace trim for your lingerie. The Statement Pieces No closet is complete without a few signature pieces? the kind guaranteed to garner compliments (and attract notice if you wear them two days in a row). Shown, left to right: Printed dress: Bold is beautiful, but large patterns work best when you keep the colors subtle. Patterned jacket: Don't get overpowered by a print; show off your shape with a close-fit style and a shorter cut. Bold blouse: Give a printed shirt top billing by pairing it with solid pants or dark jeans. More Statement Pieces Graphic sweater: Pattern shy? Start with a neutral knit in a geometric design. Tweed pants: In brown or black, they're a classic, but cream-colored tweed trousers are pleasantly offbeat. 49 The Evening Standards Even die-hard homebodies need a couple of after-dark pieces, but you can also let these stunners see the light of day by pairing them with casual wear. Velvet jacket: Whether you choose a modern or classic style, this piece will instantly upgrade your outfit. Ruffled shirt: Don't go for all the frills. When wearing ruffles, skip the rhinestone buttons and fussy bows. More Evening Standards Shown, left to right: Cocktail skirt: What makes a skirt party-ready? It's in the details: Go for volume and embellishments such as beading. Sparkly top: Sequins aren't the only way to shine: Metallics can be just as dazzling. Velvet pants: With a heavier fabric, like velvet, black is the most slimming way to go. You can choose to save or splurge? there are styles to fit every budget. The Showstoppers Formal events may roll around only once a year, but it pays to treat yourself to a dress that guarantees a grand entrance every time. Party dress: The rules of selection are simple: Choose a timeless style that is figure-flattering and, most important, makes you feel fabulous. 50 The Gossip Fence Transgender in the News! Archie Comics Gender Swap: Issue #636 To Debut 'Archina' Archie Comics has announced that Issue #636, which is scheduled for release on August 22, will focus on issues related to gender and perceived gender roles by featuring gender-swapped versions of the three main characters. In "The Great Switcheroo," Archie, Betty and Veronica will become Archina, Billy and Ronnie thanks to a magical spell cast by two special visitors to Riverdale -- Sabrina the Teenage Witch and her cat Salem. "Upon overhearing the guys and gals of Riverdale grumbling over how the other half has it easier, Sabrina’s mischievous cat Salem turns the town upside down when he dishes out the ultimate genetic makeover," Archie Comics said in a press release EEOC Rules Gender Identity Covered Under Title VII; Protects Transgender Workers An Equal Employment Opportunity Commission (EEOC) opinion handed down Friday says transgender Americans are protected by Title VII of the Civil Rights Act of 1964. The 5-member bipartisan commission unanimously agreed that employment discrimination based on a person's gender identity violates Title VII's prohibition on sex discrimination. According to gay weekly Metro Weekly the opinion was issued in response to a legal challenge filed by Mia Macy, a transgender woman who alleges she was turned down for a job at the Bureau of Alcohol, Tobacco, Firearms and Explosives after she informed the agency that she was in the process of transitioning. Gay rights groups called the decision a game-changer for transgender rights. “This ruling marks a sea change in the treatment of transgender people under federal law. After years of being wrongly and unfairly excluded from federal protections against sex discrimination, transgender workers will now enjoy the same protections against unlawful discrimination based on gender stereotyping as other Americans. Mia Macy and the Transgender Law Center deserve enormous credit for bringing this historic case, which has resulted in a landmark ruling that will change the lives of countless 51 transgender people,” Kate Kendell, executive director of the National Center for Lesbian Rights (NCLR), said in a statement. New App for Reporting Discrimination to TSA: FlyRights The Sikh Coalition <http://www.sikhcoalition.org/> launched a free mobile phone app that makes it easier to file complaints with the Transportation Security Administration (TSA). The new app – called FlyRights <http://fly-rights.org/> – allows anyone to file complaints in just a couple of minutes, as soon as they leave airport security. FlyRights makes the process very user-friendly by automatically populating things like your name, contact information and the airport you are in, and will automatically submit your complaint to the TSA and the Department of Homeland Security. You can also choose to have the complaint shared with the Sikh Coalition, which is working to track all kinds of TSA civil rights complaints. While developed in response to the difficulties Sikhs often face at the airports, FlyRights allows anyone with an iPhone or Android phone to file a complaint of discrimination based on gender, race, ethnicity, religion, nationality, or disability. TSA recently put up a webpage <http://transgenderequality.wordpress.com/2012/03/16/tsa-posts-info-for-transtravelers/> with information for transgender travelers, and has begun to incorporate respect for transgender people into employee training – but there is still a ways to go, and some problems will continue as long as TSA relies on invasive screening procedures. NCTE plans to put out a new resource on airport security in the coming weeks. New GLAD Guidebook Helps Attorneys Better Represent Transgender Clients America’s legal system is fraught with danger for transgender people because of ignorance and misunderstanding of their issues. But a prominent LGBT legal advocacy organization has now produced a first-of-its-kind guidebook to help attorneys and their trans clients navigate the rocky shoals of family court. Boston-based Gay and Lesbian Advocates and Defenders has published "Transgender Family Law: A Guide to Effective Advocacy" for attorneys who would like to represent trans clients, but believe they don’t have the background to do so. The book, available in hard copy and e-book versions, features chapters by attorneys with expertise in both family law and trans legal advocacy. Topics range from name and sex recognition to relationship dissolution, child custody disputes and estate planning and elder law. Some issues facing trans clients are as basic as changing their names or being able to obtain documents consistent with their gender. Others, such as forming and expanding families or dissolving marriages, are far more complex, particularly in states that don’t recognize same-sex relationships. Trans people undergoing divorce proceedings in family court are particularly vulnerable, added Levi. 52 Many trans advocates have praised GLAD for publishing the guide. "We are so pleased that GLAD has produced this much needed resource in navigating the legal system," Gunner Scott, executive director of the Massachusetts Transgender Political Coalition, told EDGE. "There are a number of attorneys, advocates, and legal organizations that want to do the right thing for their transgender clients, but don’t always have all of the information on how to effectively serve them. This publication will help give them the tools they need." Visit www.glad.org/TFL <http://www.glad.org/TFL> to purchase a copy of the guide. Baltimore County Enacts Transgender Rights Law Baltimore County’s legislative body, the County Council, passed a gender identity antidiscrimination bill, which protects transgender people from discrimination, the the Washington Blade reported. Those who were against the bill failed to collect enough signatures in order to start a referendum process. The Blade points out that even if opposers were able to collect enough signatures "it is highly likely that 50 percent of those signatures would have turned out to be invalid anyway." The newspaper also said that their scare tactics fell on deaf ears and citizens stood up against opposers. In a town hall meeting one individual told opposing leaders to "stop picking on vulnerable people" as they should be more concerned about "the real needs of the country." The Baltimore Sun pointed out that the County Council did not take up the thorny issue of who is permitted to use which bathroom. Rather, the council members decided to leave that up to individual establishments’ discretion. The bill that passed noted that it did not include in its purview "distinctly private or personal" facilities. Bullied gay teen brings stun gun to school, faces expulsion An Indiana mother sent her gay son to school with a stun gun to protect him against bullies. The teen now faces expulsion, but the mother says she would do it again. Darnell "Dynasty" Young, 17, was facing daily harassment from bullies at Arsenal Technical High School in Indianapolis who would taunt him, throw rocks and bottles at him, spread rumors and follow him home. After reporting the bullying to the school more than 10 times, his mother, Chelisa Grimes, said she gave Young a stun gun for protection, because school authorities weren't doing nough, MSNBC reports. "I do not promote violence -- not at all -- but what is a parent to do when she has done everything that she felt she was supposed to do ... at the school?" Grimes told CNN 's Don Lemon on Sunday. "I did feel like there was nothing else left for me to do, but protect my child." On April 16, when six students surrounded him at school calling him names and threatening to beat him up, Young pulled the stun gun from his backpack. He raised it in the 53 air, setting off an electric charge and sending the group scurrying, CNN reports. "I brought the stun gun 'cause I wasn't safe," the Young said. The school district held an expulsion hearing last week but no decision has been announced, CNN reports. Britain pledges to keep fighting for LGBT rights abroad Britain will continue fighting for lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender rights around the globe despite a backlash for some countries. That's the pledge the Foreign and Commonwealth Office gave Gay Star News as it released an annual report on human rights. The report on human rights and democracy was launched by foreign minister William Hague and has an LGBT section. The report declares that the UK opposes ‘all forms of violence and discrimination against LGBT people’ and details the lobbying that embassies and commissions have undertaken to improve conditions across the world. However it also says that much work still needs to be done in Africa and Russia. ‘It makes clear that the UK is taking a particularly strong stand on issues. We have had a negative reaction for doing so from some countries, but we don’t care and will continue to do what we’re doing.’ The British have been praised for releasing their report in the face of the US's human rights report being delayed by three months. Hillary Clinton and ILGA to receive World Pride awards Pride London will give US Secretary of State Hillary Clinton the ‘World LGBT Award’ in recognition of her contribution to protecting the rights of LGBT people worldwide ahead of World Pride in London this July. The International Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, Trans and Intersex Association, ILGA, will receive the International Community Award, presented to a non-governmental organisation that similarly fights for the global LGBT community. Ground Shifts Quickly Beneath White House on Federal Contractor Executive Order Issue Within two weeks of President Obama's April 11 decision not to pursue an executive order banning federal contractors from discriminating on the basis of sexual orientation or gender identity "at this time," Obama and his administration found the ground shift beneath their feet. Changes announced in both the law and the workplace this week draw attention to the protections the order would provide -- and the rapidly changing ways that world is looking at those protections. First, the Equal Employment Opportunity Commission decided, in the case of Mia Macy, that an employer who discriminates against an employee or applicant on the ba- 54 sis of the person's gender identity is violating the prohibition on sex discrimination contained in Title VII of the Civil Rights Act of 1964. As such, transgender people can file EEOC complaints against employers who they believe have discriminated against them, as the commission decided, "because the individual has expressed his or her gender in a non-stereotypical fashion, because the employer is uncomfortable with the fact that the person has transitioned or is in the process of transitioning from one gender to another, or because the employer simply does not like that the person is identifying as a transgender person." Of the decision, a White House official told Metro Weekly that "President Obama has long opposed discrimination on the basis of sexual orientation and gender identity in the workplace." Other questions about the decision were referred to the EEOC. While the White House has avoided having any officials comment on the record about the executive order this week, others – including Democratic National Committee treasurer Andrew Tobias -- have put out opinions urging caution. Tennessee House Cancels 'Don't Say Gay' Bill Vote The Tennessee House will not take a final vote on a proposed bill which would outlaw the discussion of sexual minorities in Tennessee's public schools before the ninth grade. The bill's chief sponsor in the House, Republican Rep. Joey Hensley, said he pulled the measure after officials of the Department of Eduction and the state Board of Education pledged to inform all state schools that “they cannot teach this subject in grades kindergarten through eight.” The move comes after Governor Bill Haslam reiterated his opposition to the measure. “It's not something that I think is particularly helpful or needed right now,” Haslam said last month. “I think the state already has rules in place about what can be taught.” Hate crimes in Tenn. jump; cause not clear NASHVILLE — Hate crimes in Tennessee jumped in 2011 from a five-year low the year before. According to Tennessee Bureau of Investigation statistics reported in the Commercial Appeal, 261 hate crimes were recorded last year. That is a 51 percent increase from 2010. Hate crime statistics tend to fluctuate a lot from year to year. There were 426 in 2008, 243 in 2009 and 173 in 2010. Hate crimes recorded in 2011 include 71 cases of vandalism, 60 cases of intimidation and 52 cases of simple assault. Hate crimes committed out of racial bias make up the largest bias category. There were 97 in 2011, about 37 percent of all hate crimes. African Americans were the most common victims, with 68 hate crimes committed against them, about 26 percent of all hate crimes. 55 Sexual bias formed the second-largest category of crimes with 42 recorded, about 16 percent of all hate crimes last year. Cole said the TBI statistics do not fully represent hate crimes since bias toward transgender people isn’t included in the report. Helm said whether transgendered victims are included in the statistics depends on how investigators categorize a crime. She noted that hate crimes make up only a very small percentage of the crime in Tennessee each year. “But to the victim of those crimes, one offense is one too many,” she said. Genderless passports ‘under review’ in Canada Canadians may soon be able to apply for passports that do not reveal their gender. Passport Canada spokeswoman Béatrice Fénelon confirmed that “the policy regarding transgender people is still under review.” Although the details of the change are not yet known, Canada may follow the Australian example and allow Canadians to mark their sex as “X” rather than “M” or “F.” Or the agency may simply streamline the process for transgendered people to obtain a passport denoting their new sex. Under current requirements, Canadians can change the sex on their passport only if they provide medical proof of having undergone gender-reassignment surgery. If they are still in transition they can obtain a temporary two -year passport by furnishing medical documents showing the surgery is scheduled for sometime in the next 12 months. Critics note the policy effectively excludes a minority of transgendered people who identify with a different gender, yet are unwilling or unable to undergo genital surgery. Federal LGBT Workers Will Be Asked to Come Out — In a Survey For the first time, federal workers are going to be asked two important things: if they're lesbian, gay, bisexual, or transgender and if they're happy with their jobs. According to The Washington Post, this census of sexual orientation and gender identity appears in the Federal Employee Viewpoint Survey, along with other new questions asking federal employees if they have served in the military and whether they are disabled. The comprehensive annual survey is going out to nearly 2 million workers (compared with just over a quarter million last year) and will include all permanent employees (both part-time and full-time). The Obama administration’s highest-ranking out gay official, Office of Personnel Managment chief John Berry, told the Post that the agency wants to “learn as much as we can from our employees so we can better serve them.” It will be the first time anyone knows just how many federal employees identify as LGBT — and may lead to bet- 56 ter benefits and workplace policies. Gray nominates two transgender women to Human Rights Commission Mayor Vincent Gray has nominated transgender activists Earline Budd and Alexandra Beninda for seats on the D.C. Commission on Human Rights. If the two are confirmed by the City Council, as expected, they would become the first transgender persons to serve on the 15-member commission, which rules on discrimination complaints brought under the comprehensive D.C. Human Rights Act. The act bans discrimination in employment, housing, public accommodations and other areas based on an individual’s sexual orientation and gender identity and expression as well as other categories such as race, religion, national origin, and ethnicity. HISTORIC: Obama Announces Support for Marriage Equality Amid rampant Beltway speculation and growing calls for an unequivocal position on marriage from LGBT groups and the national media, President Obama said , "It is important for me to go ahead and affirm that I think same-sex couples should be able to get married." The president's decision, he explained, stemmed from his own experience with gay staff in committed relationships as well as the continued discrimination against gay service members, who can now serve openly in the military following repeal of “don’t ask, don’t tell” but are denied the same basic equal rights as their heterosexual counterparts. Obama's conclusion in favor of marriage equality also reflected a generational shift that cuts across party lines, he explained. "When I go to college campuses, sometimes I talk with college Republicans who think that I have terrible policies on the economy or on foreign policy but are very clear that when it comes to same-sex equality, or sexual orientation, that they believe in equality," the president said. "They’re much more comfortable with it." The groundbreaking comments mark the first time that a sitting president has publicly voiced support for same-sex marriage, and come just three days after Vice President Joe Biden said in an interview with NBC that he supports such rights for gay and lesbian couples. “I am absolutely comfortable with the fact that men marrying men, women marrying women, and heterosexual men and women marrying another are entitled to the same exact rights, all the civil rights, all the civil liberties,” Biden said. Several national polls show a clear trend for marriage equality support — a recent Gallup poll showed 50% of Americans favor same-sex marriage, for instance, with previous polls as high as 53% in support. But it’s unclear how the president’s position will affect his reelection bid, particularly in critical swing states, including North Carolina, which passed the antigay Amendment One by an overwhelming margin. 57 EXCLUSIVE: Transgender woman ticketed for using women’s restroom at Parkland hospital Police cited a transgender woman for disorderly conduct on April 25 for using a women’s restroom at Parkland hospital. An officer with the hospital’s police force wrote the citation for a class-C misdemeanor after a complaint was lodged by someone who saw the transgender woman, Paula Witherspoon, leaving the bathroom. Witherspoon said she was at the hospital with her husband, who had a follow-up appointment after suffering a heart attack. “I live full time as a woman,” Witherspoon said. She said hospital police told her they weren’t there to decide whether she was guilty. “Then they wrote me a ticket,” she said. The ticket lists Witherspoon as a man and her name as Paul. But Witherspoon provided a copy of a letter from her clinical psychologist at the Dallas VA Medical Center, Gloria J. Emmert. “I went in, did my business, washed my hands and left,” she said. And the letter from the psychologist indicates she was following doctor’s orders rather than acting out of lewd intent. Upton said Parkland will have trouble defending the case. Upton said the officer probably figures Witherspoon will either pay the fine or it’ll be dismissed. “And he doesn’t care,” Upton said, adding that the officer couldn’t have written a ticket for simply using the wrong bathroom. “That’s not a crime in Dallas,” he said. Romney Spokesman Gleefully Outed A Trans Woman, Ending Her Career With all the talk over Mitt Romney’s bullying of a presumed gay classmate, some have questioned whether it’s fair to judge someone on their actions in high school. But everyone agrees that anything from a recent political career is fair game. So it’s telling that one doesn’t have to reach that far back to find other incidents of LGBT bullying from Romney’s close staff. Romney campaign senior adviser Eric Fehrnstrom (of Etcha-Sketch fame) outed a transgender woman in the Massachusetts House of Representatives, effectively ending her political career, when he was a reporter for the Boston Herald. Fehrnstrom saved his cheap shots for smaller-time Massachusetts pols. When a political activist and gadfly named Althea Garrison was elected to the Massachusetts House of Representatives, the fact that she was transgender was an open secret in Boston political circles. But Fehrnstrom was the first one to put that information into print—”I can remember his glee when he found the birth certificate,” says former Herald reporter Robert Connolly—thus bringing a swift end to Garrison’s future on Beacon Hill. Romney himself also abolished a commission working against LGBT bullying in 58 Massachusetts as governor. Senate ENDA Hearing Set for June 12 The Senate Health, Education, Labor and Pension Committee (HELP) is set to consider the Employment Non-Discrimination Act (ENDA) next month in a June 12 hearing. HRC has long been calling on the Senate to take up workplace protections for LGBT employees. Senators Jeff Merkley (D-OR), Mark Kirk (R-IL), Robert Casey (D-PA), and Susan Collins (R-ME) wrote to Committee Chairman Tom Harkin (D-IA) and Ranking Member Mike Enzi (R-WY) urging the hearing, stating: “ENDA embodies the American ideal of fairness: employees should be judged on their skills and abilities in the workplace, and not on their sexual orientation or gender identity.” Earlier today, HRC joined the Senators in publicly calling on Chairman Harkin to hold the hearing. In a statement announcing the mark-up, Harkin said: “Every American deserves an equal opportunity to earn a good living, judged by their talent, ability and qualifications free from discrimination. Workplace discrimination based on an employee's sexual orientation or gender identity is reprehensible and has no place in our nation.” Rhode Island Recognizes Out of State Same Sex Marriage PROVIDENCE – Monday was a day for gay and lesbian Rhode Islanders to whoop and cheer. They were cheering for Gov. Lincoln Chafee, who signed an executive order requiring the state to officially recognize the same-sex unions of couples who were married elsewhere but live here. At several points during his announcement, Chafee made it clear that he wants his action to be one step toward allowing full gay marriage rights in Rhode Island. “This is a great day for Rhode Island; it means important legal quandaries at the state level have been settled – death certificates, birth certificates, dealing with state agencies on issues concerning same-sex marriage, “It doesn’t affect us at the federal level, There are still legal quandaries there, and since state and federal law intersect in so many ways, such as with taxes and pensions. Because pensions are regulated by a federal statute, the interplay here with state pensions will be an interesting issue.” Same-sex couples still can not marry in Rhode Island, nor can they divorce, since a 2007 RI Supreme Court ruling denied that right to them, and there are other rights that can’t be granted by executive order, such as allowing joint tax filings, because the federal government gives no recognition to gay couples. “This executive order sends a clear message to married Rhode Islanders, regardless of their sexual orientation, that they can and should rely on their marriage to protect 59 them and their families in important ways," he said. U.S. House approves Violence Against Women Act without LGBT protections WASHINGTON — The U.S. House of Representatives voted to approve the Violence Against Women Act (VAWA), but unlike the LGBT-inclusive Senate version, the House bill failed to address discrimination faced by LGBT victims of domestic violence. The bill passed 222-205, with only 22 Republicans opposing it. The Violence Against Women Act, which aims to protect victims of domestic violence, was first enacted in 1994 and has been renewed twice since. In April, Senate Democrats added additional protections to cover Native Americans, undocumented immigrants, and gay, lesbian and transgender victims, in addition to those already protected under the legislation. That version of the bill passed late last month with bipartisan support. The House version of the bill, however, stripped out those expansions. The HRC noted that Rep. Judy Biggert (R-Ill.) wanted to offer an amendment to the bill that would have increased protections for LGBT victims, but the House Republican leadership blocked her from even offering the amendment. The House and Senate must now come together to resolve the differences between the two bills with a conference committee. Democrats and the Obama administration want the House to pick up the Senate’s version of the bill. Talackova breaks top 12 in Miss Universe Canada Jenna Talakova, the BC woman who made headlines earlier this spring as the first openly transgender contestant in the Miss Universe Canada pageant, finished in the top 12 in the competition on May 19 in Toronto. Transgender Miss Universe Canada Contestant Wins Congeniality Award Jenna Talackova, the first-ever transgender contestant to compete in the Miss Universe Canada pageant, made it to the top 12 finalists and became one of four women who shared the title of Miss Congeniality, reports People magazine Gloria Allred, Talackova's high-profile attorney, released a statement, saying, "She's still a winner as far as I'm concerned. She won an 'herstoric' civil rights victory and that I think is frankly more important than anything, any victory she would win, even representing Miss Canada." Miss Universe publicity director Brenda Mendoza has said transgender competitors are now welcome in all of its pageants around the world, but says it will be left to the individual franchises to determine if the recent policy change is carried out. 60 "Black Madam" to Go to Trial for Butt Injections A Philadelphia woman who calls herself the “Black Madam” was ordered Wednesday to stand trial on allegations she administered illegal buttock-injections, procedures that authorities say caused serious medical problems in at least one case. Padge Windslowe, 42, faces charges of aggravated assault and deceptive practices related to a so-called pumping party in Philadelphia. Police believe Windslowe also injected 20-year-old London tourist Claudia Aderotimi, who died last year. Aderotimi complained of chest pain and difficulty breathing following the procedure at a hotel near Philadelphia International Airport. No charges have been filed in her death as detectives await extensive autopsy test results. King said on the stand Wednesday that Windslowe told her that her injection had nothing to do with Aderotimi's death and that the English woman died from drugs. Windslowe was being held on $750,000 bail New teacher resource aims to support transgender and transsexual students On the eve of the International Day Against Homophobia, the Canadian Teachers' Federation (CTF) is proud to release its latest educational resource, Supporting Transgender and Transsexual students in K-12 Schools, the fifth publication in an educational series designed to assist teachers, administrators and counselors in understanding sexual and gender minority issues. Authored by Dr. Kristopher Wells, Gayle Roberts and Carol Allan, the 57-page guidebook aims to demystify gender variance and provide evidence-based information for educators wishing to create caring, respectful and safe learning environments for all students. "Transgender and transsexual students are too often the targets of bullying, discrimination and violence in schools today," explains CTF President Paul Taillefer. "No child should go to school in fear." "The CTF guidebook aims to heighten professional knowledge, understanding and sensitivity around gender variance issues and offers practical strategies to create more inclusive classrooms, plans for in-school transitions and suggestions for ways to support parents/guardians with transitioning children," adds Taillefer. "We salute the authors who have shared their knowledge and compassion. By sharing our collective wisdom, schools will become more compassionate and understanding places where all students, teachers and families can find the support they so richly deserve," concludes Taillefer. The per unit cost is $5 (bulk order discounts will apply) and is available for online ordering: 61 Melissa Sue Robinson won’t focus on LGBT issues NAMPA — Melissa Sue Robinson expected to lose Tuesday’s Democratic primary for District 12 Senate to veteran Nampa campaigner Maria Mabbutt. Instead she became what she says is the first transgendered person to win an election in Idaho. And she wants voters to know that she will take her general election run against Nampa attorney Todd Lakey seriously and she will not run on LGBT (lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgendered) issues. While Robinson supports a bill that would make it illegal to discriminate against LGBT persons, she said making LGBT rights the core of her campaign would be the wrong move. Transgender teen allowed in boys’ graduate procession after TV station steps in LAS VEGAS, Nev. — A Las Vegas high school student, who came out as transgender male to family and friends last year, will be able to walk in his high school graduation ceremony with the rest of his male classmates after a local television station interceded with school officials. Francis Dalog Jr., 18, who identifies as male, and said his high school experience at Shadow Ridge High School was largely conflict-free — until recently, when a school administrator insisted he walk with the girls in the graduation procession, because, as far as school officials are concerned, Dalog is still biologically a girl. “I explained to her that I’m transgender and she’s like, doesn’t matter, whatever’s on the paper that’s whatever side you’re going to go on,” Dalog told KLAS-TV “I want to leave as who I am. I want to graduate high school as who I really am,” Dalog said. KLAS reported that administrators at Shadow Ridge High recognize Francis “the she,” not “the he.” But after KLAS-TV raised concerns with the school district level, the administrator’s decision was reversed. The Clark County School District has no specific policies related to transgender students instead it relies on a more individualized approach, explained school board president Linda Young. Sho pT ill You Dro p! 62 Advertisements and Opportunities Want to advertise your TG- friendly store, service, club, group, or your own personal items here? There is NO charge for this … just email the editor [email protected] Shoe Clips ~ Bridal ~ Vintage ~ Formal ~ Casual "Fashion For Your Feet" Take a New Look at the Colorful Past Shoe Clips are an economical way to transform and revive your favorite footwear, embellish for a Special Occasion or bring a little fun to Everyday Wear. Simply clip on Rhinestones, Flowers, Feathers, or Bows for a lasting, fashionable look that's all your own! "Shoe Clips Dot Biz" features over 300 Styles including a huge Vintage selection and many Bridal clips. http://www.shoeclips.biz 63 EnFemme Boutique is a VERY CD and GLBT friendly Ebay store. Nan is the wife of a Transgendered person, and understands how difficult it can be for some to purchase items. She started this store for CD, TV, TS and TG’s that do not go shopping in public, need help with sizing, or finding certain items. It is a place where you can find items at reasonable prices and ask questions without worry. All listing are PRIVATE listings, so no one will see what you have purchased. Most are NEW With Tags and are 70 –90% OFF Retail Prices. This is Nan’s way of supporting her spouse Amy and the T-Community. http://stores.ebay.com/enfemme-boutique?refid=store Just You (formerly Glamor Boutique 2) http://crossdresslasvegas.com Welcome to Just You, We're a transgender (GLBT, TG) friendly, male to female transformation and crossdressing service. Our boutique is located in Las Vegas, NV, USA where Amy and her staff provide products and personalized services to help you become "The Person You Always Wanted To Be". The Just You Family have years of experience transforming men into beautiful women. Visit our crossdressing service for your very own Transformation Makeover, one of our special Fantasy Transformations, or perhaps even a Tour of Las Vegas En Femme! Inside our boutique you'll find something for all your crossdressing needs; breast forms, shapewear, corsets, lingerie, shoes, dresses, wigs, makeup and so much more. 64 http://www.spellcosmetics.com/Home_Page.html 65 http://www.crazydaizys.com/servlet/ StoreFront Welcome to crazydaizys I carry a large selection of Sexy Shoes & Boots, Costume Footwear, Lingerie, Hosiery, Leather for Men & Women, & more! Your 1 stop shop for all your Favorite things!! I have Storewide FREE! combined Shipping! Save @ Crazy Daizys! Dont see what you are looking for? Contact me! http://dspace.dial.pipex.com/hide.sleek/hs_menu.htm is a wonderful online shop with 2 physical store locations in Scotland as well. Owned and run by Loraine (a gg) and also sponsors the Miss TV Scotland pageant every year. Hide and Sleek Endless.com women’s Shoes, Men’s Shoes, Kid’s shoes, Athletic & Outdoor Bags & Accessories http://www.endless.com 66 http://Glamourboutique.com The Glamour Boutique is a terrific TG store. You can also order online. Can’t say enough about this lovely store! A discount is available to Pretty TGirls members and to visitors of my personal website! http://Crazy4clipons.com Crazy 4 Clipons is a terrific online place to discreetly buy clip on earrings at a very reasonable price. They have a large variety to choose from and love to have TG customers! A discount is available to Pretty TGirls members and to visitors of my personal website! http://www.FemmeFever.com FemmeFever : Karen has developed a wonderful site and TG resource! Along with coordinating many TG events in the lower NY area, she has a store full of shopping opportunities online. 67 Austin’s Angels … by Jamie Austin I can’t say enough really terrific things about Jamie. Simply put, he works wonders. Careful though, he has done such a wonderful job that several girls have seen how wonderfully beautiful they can be that they have become full time girls! Jamie offers several different makeover packages … well worth every penny girls ! http://www.austinsangels.com http://www. countessascloset.com This is a fabulous place for GG’s and TGirls alike. Countessa is a GG, former model, and a terrific supporter of the Transgendered Community ! There is an online store and a physical location in Studio City, California. More to follow about this great Lady and her offerings. Stress or Desire? $10.00 – by Terri Lynn Richards. It has been several years since Teri transitioned at work. Her transition was initiated by her spouse, Jill, because she recognized that "Terry" would never be completely happy until he became Teri. Jill was aware of the constant stress in Terry's life and remembered that when they were dating, Terry had mentioned that at one point in his life, while he was single, he had attended a Halloween dressup party, going as the office secretary Stress or Desire is available from Mag Books •http://www.magsinc.com 68 •Books by Carollyn Faith Olson •Tricks of the Trade -- A Beginners Guide to Cross Dressing." Earlier this year she released a novel "Breaking Point," which is also available. Tricks of the Trade is the fourth book penned by Carollyn, a married, straight, conservative, 50 year old cross dresser from California. •Ms. Olson has been an ambi-gendered cross dresser for over 30 years and is very active in the community. She's a proud member and the Post Mistress of the Vanity Club and the co-founder of the Mature Woman "My desire is to create an illusion which is a compliment to all women," said Ms. Olson. "Cross dressing is not meant to demean women, but to uphold their presence and beauty. I try to accomplish that goal every chance I get." •"Reaching your goal as a woman is the reason I wrote this book. I hope I have given you the information you need in the following pages to help you gain insight and confidence in every aspect of your feminine life." Whether you cross dress full-time, frequently, rarely, or even just in your thoughts, Carollyn Olson will get you on your way with this new guide full of practical tips and advice. •The book is $12, including shipping, and can be purchased by contacting Carollyn (PO Box 1241, Loomis, CA 95650 or [email protected]) or Mark (800-359-2116) at MagsInc ([email protected]) •"Crowning Glory" is now on sale. I believe it is my best book ever. Read how Aaron and his business partners attempt to win a national advertising account in a very unconventional way. The cost of the book is $12 including shipping. To order, contact me at: [email protected], or contact my publisher Mags Inc. (www.magsinc.com) and click on the Reluctant Press tab. "Crowning Glory" can also be bundled with "Breaking Point" for an additional $6, but only through me To purchase a signed copy, please send cash, check or money order to: Carollyn Olson, PO Box 1241, Loomis, CA 95650 69 70 http://www.clcrv.com/ We're a Different Kind of Company... Why? Because we understand non-traditional families share the same traditional bonds of love and respect. We also appreciate the desire of all people to convey their feelings to those they hold dear. Greeting cards are a vital means of communication that touch lives, as they distinctly identify thoughts, words and actions; they comfort, inspire, celebrate, and stir a vast range of emotions. For years we, too, have felt the void when looking for a greeting card to express our feelings during life’s special occasions only to have to edit the available selection. It is this vacancy that inspired us to create our Gay, Lesbian, Bisexual and Transgender friendly greeting card company. Why Teazled?... because it’s new. Teazled is a company whose motivation is to pioneer traditional greeting cards for the non-traditional family so that they might also be able to celebrate those meaningful moments, express their innermost thoughts and communicate with those they cherish. We are two nurses, Dina and Dina (Dom), who have seen all sides of life and the wonderment it holds. We know the most powerful gift is that of communication as we have seen the hardships caused when we don’t have the words to express our deepest emotions. Don’t let another moment go by. Tell them... with cards by Teazled. http://www.teazled.com 71 CD TV Crossdressers and Crossdressers Wives TV Documentary Project Sex and Gender are among the globe’s hottest “it” topics. Every day marks a sizzling new headline featuring a cross dressing, transgender, or transsexual experience. Don’t we want to know what is really going on? Isn’t it more beneficial to understand the true underpinning and challenges related to cross dressing and gender identity? Cross dressing is complicated. How one deals with it determines whether or not the experience proves harmless or induces grandiose pain. In a world quick to judge or condemn, keeping secrets may seem to be the safest alternative, but for how long? Forever? At what cost? Wouldn’t you want to tell the truth and be free of the shadowy burdens of secrecy? No matter where you might be in your journey, of all the options confronting you, honesty may be the first step towards rebuilding a life based on the solid foundations of truth and understanding. What needs to be done is simple: help educate and guide society towards a deeper understanding of an issue that can needlessly rip relationships and families apart. We can help erase all liability of shame and eradicate any desire for secrecy. Many of us want to be part of the solution and a rare opportunity to participate is knocking at your door. A top production company is interested in collaborating on a very special documentary project focusing on people who struggle with cross dressing in their marriage, relationship, or family. Yes some marriages are happy and trouble free, but unfortunately, they do not represent the norm. People being asked to come forward should be seeking genuine help and healing. If you need help in telling your loved ones about your situation, either from a cross dresser or a cross dressers wife’s point of view, the very best medical guidance will be made available to you. This will be a safe, respectful environment with the goal of achieving answers and resolutions, not ripping lives apart. This project is non exploitive. Each participant will be treated with the utmost sensitivity and respect. If you or someone you know is interested in participating (possibly in disguise) please contact us directly at [email protected] Please tell us briefly about yourself, the nature of your experience with cross dressing, and how it has affected your life. Be sure to include your phone number, city, and state where you live. Thank you for your interest in this unprecedented new project! We look forward to hearing from you. 72 Request for Transgender Identification Card ALL information is required. Please print clearly. *Starred fields must match with the legal document. Date of request: ____/_____/______Email Contact:_____________________________ *Legal name: (Last, First, Initial [opt.]) ________________________________________ En Femme name: (Last, First)______________________________________________ *Driver’s License state: ___________________ *DL Number:_____________________ *Height: _______ Weight: _______lbs. Tri- Ess Member No. _________________Chapter (Opt)_________________________ Be sure to include: Head and shoulders picture en homme (preferrably .jpg file) Head and shoulders picture en femme (preferrably .jpg file) SASE with sufficient postage to return pictures or disc and ID card Check, cash, or money order (US funds) for $15.00 payable to “G Cirak” I hereby certify the above information to be correct and accurate. I understand that incomplete application/ attachments will be returned. I provide the above information, and attached pictures, willingly and authorize them to be used in the creation of a Transgender ID Card. The information supplied is not to be used for any other purpose, but may be retained for use in providing additional cards to the requester. Tasi Zuriack and sub-suppliers are released from all damages that might arise from the use of the information provided or the use of said Transgender ID Card. Signed: Date: Please mail this completed document, your CD or floppy picture files (or pictures to be scanned and returned,) along with your payment to: Tasi Zuriack 1521 Luz de Sol Dr El Paso TX 79912 Thank you for your order! Questions can be e- mailed to: mailto:[email protected] . 73 Pals Breast Forms by Super Gel Products Girls, these are some really great breast forms. I have had a set for 7 years and wore them everyday for the past 2 years. They are still like new. While these are NOT silicon forms, by the look and feel you would not know it. Cost is about half of silicon forms, and come with a 5 year warranty. They come in a variety of shapes and sizes. Why not give these a try. Barbara Jean Founded in 1995, we at Super Gel Products have built our company and reputation on our customer relations, great quality products and our constant strive to create newer, better products for the whole family. We are ever continuing research and development of the soft polymer products as we feel our gel is the "Innovation of the Future" in terms of softness and comfort and realistic prosthetic forms as well as comfortable cushioning. http://www.supergelproducts.com 74 Miss June Carollyn Olson June 2012 Sun Mon Tue Wed Thu Fri Sat 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26 27 28 29 30