February 4, 2000

Virginia Law Weekly
The Newspaper of the University of Virginia School of Law Since 1948
“Freedom of religion, freedom of the press;
freedom of persons under the protection of the
habeas corpus; and trial by juries impartially
selected, — these principles form the bright
constellation which has gone before us, and
guided our steps through an age of revelation
and reformation.”
THOMAS JEFFERSON
Around
North Grounds
It’s fun time: journal tryouts
are here! An All-Journal Informational Meeting will be held on
Monday, February 21st, at 1 p.m.
in Caplin Auditorium. Open
houses at the various journals
will follow the next week. The
three weekends for tryouts are
Friday, February 25th to Monday, February 28 th , Friday,
March 3rd to Monday, March 6 th,
and Thursday, March 9 th to Sunday, March 12th. For the first time
this year, participants will be
allowed to try out for two journals plus Law Review.
Vol. 52, No. 17
Friday, February 4, 2000
Law School to Lock its Doors in 2000
Access May Be Limited to Law Students and Faculty During Evening Hours
by Don Cole ‘00
Citing increased security concerns, Law School Dean Robert E.
Scott announced that the Law
School plans to restrict access to
the Law School building in the near
future. “I have decided that we will
install at the Law School this spring
the hardware to implement a controlled access system,” said Scott.
“I am prepared to take responsibility for the decision,” he added.
The Dean expressed hope that
the University is now in negotiations with a contractor to install
the system. The negotiations are
expected to conclude by the end of
March.
The Dean also addressed the
potential concern of law students
that the new policy would limit
their ability to use the facilities as
they do now. “I’ve made a second
decision which I am prepared to
take responsibility for,” he said.
“All members of the Law School
By the way, kids, you don’t
have to try out for the Law
Weekly.
Thumbs
way
down to all professors who cannot
submit grades by
the February 1 deadline [except
Prof. Coughlin who e-mailed her
students about the situation].
Let’s see here, the beauty of a
hard and fast rule is…that it provides reasonable expectancy,
right? Wrong. ANG has been
flooded with complaints that professors weren’t able to live by
this simple rule of submitting
grades by a specific date. ANG
wonders which rule students
want to “let slip” in return?
The Rex E. Lee Law Society is
sponsoring a presentation by
Thomas Griffith ‘85 on Feb. 10 at
4:15 in Caplin Pavilion. Mr.
Griffith will discuss his role as
the Senate’s chief legal officer
during the impeachment trial of
President Clinton.
Thumbs down to
Professor
Jody
Kraus for continuing to cold call students for three weeks despite
promising his Secured Transaction’ students an on-call list on
the first day of class.
Thumbs up to the
return of the weekly
SBA student activities e-mail. ANG encourages all groups to contribute
to the e-mail and resist the temptation to kill more trees by stuffing mailboxes.
Thumbs down to
Feb Club organizers
for giving party
hosts little notice of
their scheduled party dates.
Some hosts were given less than
24 hours to prepare. On their
behalf, the organizers were hampered by a lack of student interest in hosting parties. Where’s
Riley Ross when you need him?
Be sure to sign up for Super
Saturday on Feb. 12 in Withers
see ANG page 3
In this issue:
Winter Blues .......... p. 4
Mortimer Caplin .... p. 5
Subscriptions Available
photo by Marc Cohn
The Law School will improve lighting and add a security phone on
Massie Road.
the Law School will be part of a
University-wide “one card system”
that is currently in the planning
stages. According to Dean Scott,
community will have full access to
the building. My view [is] that is
what the honor system is all about,”
he added.
The announcement came Tuesday afternoon at an open forum on
security issues sponsored by the
Building Security Committee,
which is chaired by Professor Thomas White. The forum was attended by approximately 65 students, many of whom took the opportunity to express their opinions.
One issue that has yet to be
decided is whether or not other
members of the University-wide
community will be given similar
privileges. Several students expressed concern that limiting access to law students would increase
the resentment directed towards
the Law School that was generated by the restrictions on library
use during exams.
“We need to consider the effect
on the University,” said third-year
Nicole Bourget. “In light of what
happened with the library thing it
would be a good idea to bring an
undergrad in [to sit on the committee].”
Third-year Elizabeth Semancek
expressed a similar concern. “I
hope that in our effort to improve
security…we don’t allow that to be
communicated to the rest of the
University…as a denial of the ability to come to the Law School,” she
said. Others were not as concerned
with the effect on non-law students if it meant increased security on the Law Grounds.
The Dean pointed out that the
Law School’s current open door
policy is “an absolute anomaly” as
compared to other schools across
the country. “To my knowledge, no
other law school in the country has
that [policy],” he said.
Another security measure under consideration by the committee is the stationing of a University
police officer in the building during
evening hours. However, the Dean
noted that the University police
department will not provide an officer unless and until the law school
adopts some form of a restricted
access system.
“The policy of the University
police on this matter is clear,” he
said. The rationale given by the
police is that it places too great of a
burden on the officer to determine
who should be in the building unless access is restricted. “Cost is
not an issue,” he noted. “The Law
School will pay the bill.”
Third-year Brian Wise asked
whether the officer would be armed.
“I would certainly doubt it,” responded Scott. “My view is that
would be improper. I don’t think
we are looking for a shoot-out in
the Law School.”
Captain Michael Coleman of the
University police who was in attendance at the forum added: “We
are not currently using security
guards that are armed at any other
see SECURITY page 3
Public Service Law
Comes to U.V a.
by Ryan Coonerty ‘01
Yale Law School better watch
out. If second-years Forrest Christian and John Henning and their
crew of volunteers have their way,
U.Va. will be the new center of
public service law.
On March 3, the Law School
will host its first-ever Conference
on Public Service and the Law.
The two-day conference is studentorganized, with support from the
Caplin Public Service Center. It is
designed to offer law students from
across the country the opportunity
to participate in panel discussions
and informal workshops with advocates, policymakers, litigators,
and professors from various fields
of public service practice. As a direct outgrowth of this interaction,
conference organizers hope that
more law students will dedicate
their careers to public service.
“We hope that the Conference
will bring public interest and pro
bono work into parity with corporate law at the Law School,” notes
Christian.
More than thirty students have
spent the past year planning,
fundraising, and organizing the
conference. They have arranged
for panelists in a number of areas,
including Criminal Litigation,
Civil Rights, Environmental Justice, Legislative and Political Affairs and International Human
Rights. Panelists include representatives from the Department of
Justice, Capitol Hill, the White
House, a variety of non-profit advocacy organizations, and some of
the nation’s top law firms.
Students have raised over
$22,000 for the Conference and
are presently working long hours
to reach their goal of $35,000 by
February 15. This successful
fundraising effort has enabled the
Conference to offer travel stipends
to law students from around the
country. The response thus far
has been, according to second-year
Alison Ho, “overwhelming.” “We
already have students from
Gonzaga, Dickinson, and Pace,
among others, that have registered for the Conference.”
Sean Maloney (’92) will open
the Conference on March 3 at 7
p.m. Maloney is currently serving
as an Assistant to the President of
the United States and Staff Secretary. In this capacity, Maloney
is responsible for all information
going in and out of the Oval Office. Maloney is the only White
House official authorized to make
decisions in President Clinton’s
name, an action that he must undertake frequently, often having
to inform the President after the
fact. The youngest member of
President Clinton’s senior staff,
Maloney is also the highest-ranking openly gay man ever to serve
in any administration.
On March 4, the Virginia Law
Women will host a luncheon with
Judge Diana Motz of the Fourth
Circuit Court of Appeals. Judge
Motz will discuss her involvement
in the VMI case, as well as the
opportunities and challenges
women face in pursuing legal careers.
That same day, more than 50
practitioners and 10 professors
will engage students in a series of
panel discussions. These panel
discussions will be informal in tone
and are designed to foster interaction between panelists and students. As such, they will present
see PUBLIC SERVICE page 4
Printed on
recycled paper
photo by Marc Cohn
High-Tech Test Taking
by Guy Brenner ’02
The University of Virginia
School of Law has seen the future
and it is… well, we’re not sure how
it is.
Last semester, for the first time,
first-years were required to take
their final exams in-class on laptop
computers. The new policy was devised in response to consistency
and safety concerns posed by takehome examinations and professor
and student preferences for typed
exams. First-year law students
were required to own a laptop computer in order to implement the
new exam policy.
The policy required that students copy their exams onto two
floppy diskettes — one to be submitted to the Information Technology & Communications department (ITC), the other to keep in
case the disk submitted was corrupted. ITC then printed out the
exams and delivered the printed
papers to the appropriate professor.
So how did the new system
work? According to Academic As-
sociate Dean Paul Mahoney, the
new procedure “went as smoothly
as could be expected the first time
through.” Mahoney credits the “extremely hard work” of Assistant
Dean for Information Technology
Gary Banks for the success. Banks,
speaking for himself and Mahoney,
in turn praised “[Assistant Dean
for Academic Support & Registrar]
Abby Gillette, Student Records and
the students [for making] the system work. It really was a team
approach. Everyone involved had
to work together.”
According to Mahoney, the most
common problem experienced was
computers not saving student exams to a second floppy diskette,
but that the problem was extremely
limited. First-year Leah Stewart
believes the “second floppy” problem
stems
from
the
Administration’s instructions,
which instructed students to “alternate” saving between their two
floppy diskettes. Stewart did not
experience the problem personally,
but believes that “alternating
see TEST page 3
Editorials
2
Virginia Law Weekly
Jury Box
What was your favorite Super
Bowl commercial, and why?
Charles Marr, 1L: “Definitely
e*trade’s ‘We wasted 2 million on this
commercial.’ It reminds me that I’ve spent
all my money at St. Maarten’s.”
Dave Cummings, 2L: “I liked the
investment one with all the retired athletes because you didn’t expect Mike Ditka
to come in — he was just fired a week
before that, and I was surprised they put
it together that quickly.”
Dave Schumacher, 3L: “I liked the
one about the internet company — the
‘dot com’ one.”
Colleen Hitch, 1L: “I liked the
Budweiser one with the dog because I
run into things too.”
Editorial Policy
The Virginia Law Weekly publishes letters and columns of interest to the Law School and the
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Virginia Law Weekly
Editorial Board
Don Cole and Ryan Farney
Editors-in-Chief
Sarah Shalf
Kristina Dell
Managing Editor
Executive Editor
Erica Bachmann
Richard Bland
Columns Editor
News Editor
Marc Cohn
Amy Collins
Senior Editor
Features Editor
Friday, February 4, 2000
Letter to the Editors
Manifesto of the
Non-Typist
Dear Editors,
During finals, many professors
chose to stick with the school’s
party line, propagated by the Office of Academic Support and Registrar, that computer-typed exams were mandatory.
I am no great keyboardist, and
if I had a choice, I would not choose
to take my exams on a computer.
The major problem I have with
the new computer policy is that it
denies me this choice.
If our law school is truly interested in promoting high academic
achievement among all members
of its student body, it should be
bending over backwards to allow
all of its students, especially its
first-years, to take exams in the
manner that is the most conducive for the success of each individual.
Some may be skilled typists,
and feel more comfortable in front
of the keyboard, and these people
should by all means have the option of typing their exams. Meanwhile, those whose typing skills
are limited, and who feel that
they would produce a better product if allowed to hand-write,
should be allowed to do so.
As it stands now, our Office of
Academic “Support” (responsible,
along with the faculty, for instituting the rule) is only really offering “support” to one group of
students (typists), and is leaving
another group out in the cold.
Forcing non-typists to take exams on computers arbitrarily favors one class of students (typists) over another (non-typists).
The requirement can damage the
exam performance of non-typists
both psychologically and mechanically. In our regime of curved grading, you cannot possibly argue
that someone who types 20 WPM
is not automatically at a disadvantage when he or she sits down
to take a timed exam taken by
someone who types 70 WPM.
At the very least, for non-typists this situation grafts another
pointless level of stress onto an
already stressful situation. More
importantly, the difference of
50WPM could mean the difference between completely spotting
Associate Editors
Ben Block
Associate Columns/Reviews Editor
Chris Burke
Associate Production Editor
Howie Chang
Editor-at-Large
Tarah Grant
Associate Production Editor
Debbie Prisinzano
Treasurer
Jonathan Riehl
Associate Production Editor
Staff
C ONTRIBUTORS: Guy Brenner, Ryan Coonerty.
C OLUMNISTS: Dan Brozost, Ryan Coonerty, Mike Elkon, Brian Kahn, Steve Klepper,
Adrienne Johnson, Jackie Sadker, Kristin Prohl (SBA Notebook), V ANGUARD
R EVIWERS: Michael Chu, Priya Sopori, Shawn Pompian, David Stuckey, Jami Wyatt, Ryan
Clinton, Shaheen Sheik, Scott Matthews, Leslie Hermanson, Darcy Goddard, Harrison Clay,
Chrissie Hart, Sheedeh Moayery, Genevieve Schaab, Andrew Oliver
Published weekly on Friday except during holiday and examination periods and serving the Law School community at the University of Virginia, the Virginia Law Weekly (ISSN 0042-661X) is not an official publication of the
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© 2000 Virginia Law Weekly
Matthew Axtell ‘02
SBA Notebook
Wow, can you believe that we
are three weeks into the semester
and we have all accomplished
absolutely nothing real to speak
of? (Yes, I am making the big
assumption that Feb Club parties, snow football games and
building up your tolerance again
at Bar Review don’t count).
Jennifer Leong
Reviews Editor
“
two issues and five, the difference
between a B and an A.
Why is the administration so
eager to punish non-typists? The
last I checked, we all got into
U.Va. Law because of our grades,
test scores, experience, and activities, not because of our typing
abilities. The school is ostensibly
designed to create lawyers, not
legal secretaries. If typing is so
important for our training, why
doesn’t the school offer optional
or mandatory typing classes? In a
couple of weeks, the official regime will come out with a statement of how “smoothly” the computer-only exam program went,
and how this equals its “success.”
Indeed, typed exams are supposedly easier for professors to read
and thus grade.
But does this short-run payoff
in efficiency supersede the school’s
interest in having all of its students perform their best on exams? Is administrative efficiency
really more important than the
overall fairness of the exam process? What do we value more here
at U.Va., computers or people?
These are questions that the administration is not willing to address and surely not willing to
answer.
In fact, the most disappointing
aspect to this whole episode has
been the way that the powers
that be have avoided student dialogue about the consequences of
their computers-only policy.
When questioned, the Office of
Student “Support” replies that
non-typists such as myself “all
knew about the policy before we
enrolled.” If you don’t like the
rule, it’s you’re fault for coming
(and we don’t want you here anyway), they seem to be saying.
This argument misses the point
and is more than a little insulting.
When I read of the computer
requirement prior to enrolling at
U.Va., I figured that the school,
as befitted its distinguished faculty and national prestige, would
be enlightened enough to offer
hand-writing options for non-typists come exam time. I didn’t expect to be made to feel a secondclass citizen of the Law School
because of my lack of keyboarding expertise. Maybe I should
have.
McKenzie Webster,
a second-year law
student, writes for
the SBA this week.
Well, of course we can believe
it because every semester starts
out this way. But now maybe it’s
time to do something worthwhile.
No, I’m not talking about reading
Property or Fed Courts but instead spending the day building a
house or helping Bosnian refugees fill out their tax forms.
Super Saturday is back and
next Saturday, February 12th, we
need your help in making a difference in C’ville. Super Saturday is
an annual Law School tradition
that involves spending one Saturday afternoon volunteering
with other students on one of a
variety of projects. All it takes is
one Saturday afternoon and a
little heart.
C’mon, the Super Bowl is over,
Barrister’s Ball will be over soon
too, and spring break isn’t for
another month. In the midst of
Feb Club debauchery, Super Saturday will give us all a chance to
do something constructive that
isn’t for ourselves. We’ve all seen
you do “anything for money,” now
how about trying to do “something for nothing?”
Last year’s Super Saturday
was a rousing success, as over a
hundred students volunteered to
do everything from building a
house for Habitat for Humanity
to sharing their pets with residents of an elderly home. Everyone had a great time and a lot of
work got done, but just as importantly we were able for one day to
extract ourselves from our little
world on Massie Road and get a
small glimpse of what is really
happening out there. There’s a
whole world out there beyond
Copeley and the Superfields, one
where not just 2L A.G. can make
a difference.
Last year, while visiting residents at the Riverside Senior Center, I had the incredible opportunity of meeting a resident who,
despite the loss of use of both her
arms to a debilitating disease,
painted beautiful landscape pictures. She had always been an
artist, and after losing the ability
to use her hands she simply had a
paint brush made that she could
Faculty
Quotes of the
Week
And the winner is...
Walker: “[Justice Brennan]
looks over at him like he’s too
far off of first base and won’t be
able to get back... and Erie is
the ball the pitcher throws to
first. Wham! You’re out, Scalia.”
Runners up:
Whitebread: “You do not look
like a group that got it. You look
like a group that don’t got it.
You just don’t look persuasive
at all. Most of you are clinging
to your computers like the whole
thing will fly away.”
Harrison: “Amy Wax and I
were talking today about the
lack of moisture in our lives.”
Walker: “My wife and I
watched the Weather Channel
so much this weekend that we
have
favorite
meteorologists…then we realized we
need to get out more.”
Henderson: “It’s an invitation to the dance. And what
dance is that, class? It’s the
Reliance Dance.”
Dooley: "People don't usually come home and say, 'Honey,
I got a raise! Fill up the bathtub
and call the neighbors over!'"
Levinson: "By the way, does
anyone know what the state
drink of Wisconsin is?"
Students: "Beer?... milk?
...cheese?"
Levinson: "Um...did someone
say CHEESE....um...that's the
worst answer EVER!"
Long: “I’ve seen signs that
say ‘You break it, you pay for it,’
but never ‘You piss on it, it’s
yours.’”
G. Robinson: “More television, yum, yum, yum!”
Submit your faculty quotes
to
us
at
[email protected].
”
use with her mouth. Her pictures
decorated the halls of the Center
and her attitude amazed us all. I
went to this Center thinking that
maybe I was going to be able to
make a small difference in someone else’s life, and I left having
realized that the residents had
made a bigger difference in mine.
This year, there will be an additional opportunity — to help
Bosnian refugees who have
settled in the Charlottesville area
fill out their tax forms. If you all
can get up at 8:30 a.m. three mornings a week to listen to Yin talk
about tax, maybe you can spare
one more morning to help those
who need it do their taxes.
There will be sign-up sheets
all next week at a table in H&W
Hall, and the fun will start Saturday morning around 9 a.m. We
will provide bagels and juice that
morning before the activities and
there will be a pizza party in the
evening for all the volunteers.
And by the way, I know y’all
have time because I hear the gym
crowd has been getting back to
normal. Let that hopeless New
Year’s resolution go and spend
the day helping someone else keep
theirs.
Virginia Law Weekly
News
Friday, February 4, 2000
TEST
SECURITY
continued from page 1
location in the University. We’re
not looking at anything that will
establish a heavy-handed situation.”
Wise also expressed concern as
to whether the officer would
proactively attempt to pick out certain groups who “look a certain
way” and have them removed from
the building. “If people are operating in a clearly inappropriate manner,” the officer will respond,
Coleman said. “We try to make
things behaviorally based.”
The Law School plans to make
several other security upgrades
based upon the recommendations
of the Building Security Committee. They include improvement of
lighting in the parking lots and
walkways, installation of additional security phones around the
law grounds and implementation
of a reporting procedure to collect
information about incidents on the
Law Grounds.
The reporting policy will be administered through the Office of
Student Affairs under Assistant
Dean Beverly Harmon. Professor
White indicated that the reporting
system was very important for a
proper Law School response. “We
can’t do it without your help and
without the necessary information,” he said.
The Security Committee was
formed in response to student concerns expressed in a Virginia Law
Women survey conducted last
spring. The committee consists of
faculty and students including SBA
President Kristen Prohl and thirdyears Greg Hunter and Maura
Swan.
“[The committee] has been focusing on issues of security for over
a year,” said Dean Scott. “I look at
this [security] forum as the culmination of the initial stage. It is an
ongoing process. We invite your
participation and comment,” he
added.
According to Scott, the next stage
includes developing the specific
parameters of the restricted access
policy including who has access,
when they have access and whether
an on-site security officer is necessary.
The committee is looking for student input into these decisions.
Next week, an electronic survey
will be distributed to all members
of the Law School community to
ascertain their views. “[The students’] input is critical,” said Dean
Scott.
photo by Marc Cohn
continued from page 1
floppy diskettes causes many computers to crash.” Banks said he
intends to issue new instructions
for saving exams to floppy disks.
According to Banks, the ITC
staff faced the “expected” volume
of computer problems. During the
first and last exams, ITC handled
6-8 problems requiring personal
assistance. Twelve students during the last exam required on-site
help, while no students required
ITC personal assistance during the
third exam.
In terms of problems encountered reading submitted disks, ITC
dealt with only 19 such cases (approximately one percent of exams).
Fifteen of the incidents required
students to visit ITC staff with
their backup disk, which remedied
the problem for all but two students who did not backup their
work. The two were graded on
whatever could be retrieved from
the corrupted disk.
So how do U.Va. first-years feel
about the exam procedure?
Those who experienced problems have mixed feelings. Ray
Reduque received an email a few
days after an exam directing him
to bring his second floppy disk to
ITC. Reduque found the experience not as scary as some might
expect. “The ITC people were really helpful. They opened my
backup disk and printed out a
copy.” Reduque was also helped by
the fact he had followed the Law
School’s instructions and not
opened his backup copy of the
exam, leaving the timestamp—and
the document’s integrity—intact.
One first-year student had her
laptop “bust” two paragraphs into
her Civil Procedure exam. “I went
to the ‘help desk’ who ‘helped’ me
by telling me to write the exam. I
think the whole process would be a
lot smoother if they had a few
Around North Grounds
backup laptops for situations like
this.” Banks said that he will “take
a look at having a pot of five PCs
around” for students with computer problems during exams.
Some students who evaded the
nightmare of a computer malfunction were affected by the fear that
one would arise. As Tom
Antkowiak put it, “Finals are bad
enough without the specter of hard
drive failure constantly haunting
you.”
Still, many found the additional
stress was not without its benefits.
Scott Fink liked the system “because it allows the student to edit
the exam more easily than one
could with a written exam.”
Other students are concerned
that the additional capabilities
that come with laptop exams could
be used for less than pure ends.
“Based on what I saw throughout
the semester, it’s clear a lot of
people here don’t take the honor
system seriously,” Matt Branson
noted. “It makes me wonder how
many people who took closed-book
exams on their laptop [gave in to]
the urge to open their outline on
the hard disk… It would be easy to
do without anyone noticing.”
Laptop exams raise other issues of concern to students as well.
For example, Amanda Galton noticed that an exam room full of
typers creates a lot of distracting
background noise. Galton advises
that “the trick is to not get psyched
out by all the exam noise — I had
good training from trying not to
get rattled by people during the
exam period who thought that the
library was their kitchen and proceeded to eat all the chips, pretzels, and crunchy salads they could
shove into their faces.”
Whatever praise or criticism
students have for the new system,
it is clear that it is the future of
this law school’s examination regime and they have no choice but
to get used to it.
(continued from page 1)
Brown Hall next week. This annual event takes law students to
various organizations throughout Charlottesville for a half-day
of community service. It’s a great
way to ease your conscience during the debauchery
of Feb Club.
Congratulations
to first-year Patrick
Dolan and his not
so recent engagement to his nowfiancee Ingrid. Better late than
never for a mention in ANG, huh?
Thumbs down to
the inconsiderate
law students spotted
parking in the
handicapped space in front of
Zazus on Monday night. Judging
by their attire (gym shorts) they
had apparently just come from
working out. It amazes ANG that
people who will make a special
trip to the gym to exercise are too
lazy to walk the few extra yards
from the proper parking spaces.
Luckily, an alert Zazus employee
spotted the perpetrators and
promptly had them move the car.
Tired of explaining adverse
possession to his property class,
Professor Alex Johnson took to
“communicating” with his students. You know, “giving them
the bird.” Yes, Professor Johnson,
we know what it means. Apparently one of his first-years “got a
great polaroid.”
The Dillard Fellow tryout can
be completed during any threeday period between Friday, February 4 (today) and Monday, February 28. The tryout packet may
be picked up from Phyllis Harris
in room WB348a. The tryout is
open to first-year and second-year
students.
Advice for Bar rister ’s
FINAL HICKEY-FREEMAN
SHOW!
40% off of HickeyFreeman Suits
Exclusive Custom-Made
Suits, Tuxedos, Sports
Coats and Trousers
30% off of Custommade Shirts
Select from 300
fabrics for Women
and Men
25% off of
Tumi Luggage
Selected Garment Bags,
Computer Cases and Carry-Ons
Available
The LAST show will be held on Wednesday, February 9
at The Residence Inn on Millmont St. (behind Barracks
Road Shopping Center) 9 am to 5 pm
*Receive two free HickeyFreeman dress shirts with
every custom-made suit!
Suits starting at $550 and
custom-made shirts
starting at $50.
Call or email for an appointment:
Mandeep Dhillon, 963-7840
Ken Gordon, 923-3482 [email protected]
3
I have spent the last year in
therapy. It should come as no surprise to any of last year’s
Barrister’s Ball attendees to hear
that it turns out I am suffering
from psychological trauma stemming from the scene on the dance
floor at the Omni when the DJ
played “Safety Dance.” For those
Music Review
Leslie Hermanson
of you who either did not attend or
managed to avert your eyes, I dare
not give you a visual. But this
year’s Barrister’s organizers must
have had the scene in mind when
they nixed the DJ and went with a
band—the Voltage Brothers.
So the music for that part of the
night has been taken care of. But
what happens after you and your
date (or, as is often the case, you
and somebody else’s date) leave
the Omni? What music do you plan
on playing while the two of you sit
on that old futon you never got rid
of after college and engage in some
stupid pretextual prattle?
This is a subject you cannot afford to gloss over. Note the
following pitfalls:
1.The Bilateral Monopoly:
You: What do you want to listen
to?
Your Date: Ummm…I don’t
know. What do you want to listen
to?
You:
Ummm…I
don’t
care…umm…do you want to look
through my CDs?
Your Date: Ummm…sure.
Great work, fools. You’ll go on
to waste 45 minutes rifling through
all of your dumb CDs without
making any progress on the romance front. And nothing could be
less romantic than discovering
your date’s affinity for ’NSync.
2.The John Setear Necktie:
The worst thing you can be at
this moment is unsubtle. I mean,
you really have to cling to any
subtleties you can find at age 26
on a futon in your living room with
your prom date at 3 a.m. So don’t
even think about reaching for
Marvin Gaye or Enya.
3.The Amy Grant Incident:
A true story and one from which
we can all take home a lesson. He
was a not-so-innocent first-year.
She was a less-innocent secondyear. They went back to her place.
She slips into something that
sounds considerably less comfortable to me. He’s intrigued. She
pops in Amy Grant. He’s confused.
Is it a commercial for the Church
of Latter Day Saints? He runs
away.
So my recommendation for
making the most of your night:
Luna’s latest CD, The Days of Our
Nights. (This is, after all, a music
review.) I think it’s perfect—the
tunes are soothing but not hypnotic. The lyrics are witty and suggestive without running into the
subtlety problem raised above. The
overall effect of most the songs is
modern, mellow, and a little psychedelic. Some have some serious
guitar going on—like “U.S. Out of
My Pants!” (nice Libertarian appeal, as well). Others are a bit
more
percussion-pop—like
“Superfreaky Memories.” It’s all
good, though.
If, by the time you get to Luna’s
cover of “Sweet Child o’ Mine,”
and the two of you are still
vertical…either your date is an
asexual pod or your date doesn’t
like you.
4
Features
Virginia Law Weekly
Friday, February 4, 2000
PUBLIC SERVICE
Winter: Who Needs It?
continued from page 1
One student’s courageous attack on a season of misery
the run-down, dried-out nose?
by Howie Chang ’01
Winter. Cold. Cruddy. Indiffer- There is no nasal Gatorade. For
ent to your needs. It’s Mother the leaky nose there are only tisNature’s version of the cold shoul- sues. Funky-lotion-smelling, skinder, her “Talk to the hand,” where irritating tissues. The necessary
no matter how terrible you feel, evil corollary to the running nose.
how dark the sky, or how deep the Necessary because every run, insnowfall, the temperature never cluding your nostril’s, must has
consents to rise much higher than its finish, its end destination. Evil
the average age at the Law School. because tissues do little to alleviate the larger issue of your coldWinter is the
induced
season of death.
sickness.
The flowers
This being
vanish. The
so, their vigtrees stand fororous applilorn in the cold,
cation is a
naked silhouwaste of our
ettes stripped of
natural reformer springsources.
time glory. WaWhy? Beter freezes to a
cause tisstop, less fluid
sues are pathan the crackper prodling
of
an
ucts,
of
octogenarian’s
which the
arthritic finwidespread,
gers.
accelerated
Wait — hear
consumpthat? Sniffling.
tion harms
The hallmark of
t h e i r
the winter seasource. Pason. You can
per prodknow, without
ucts come
ever setting foot
photo by Marc Cohn
from trees.
outside, how
the seasons Two paths diverge in Spies Garden. Dead trees.
Yeah, that’s
turn by counting the relative number of sniffles right: winter kills the trees.
Not only does winter kill the
per capita in the vicinity. It’s as if
our collective nostrils have endeav- trees, but it impossibly confuses
ored to run the Boston marathon. your body. Ever experience the
First, the left nostril streaks to a paradoxical sensation of being hot
lead, then the right one surges and cold at the same time? Try
ahead. Back and forth, back and exerting effort, like walking to
forth — they run ceaselessly until class, when you’re outside in the
hours have passed and you’re left winter air. But remember — since
worn down and depleted. The dif- it’s cold enough to freeze urine,
ference is that in the end, a mara- you have to dress warmly. Accordthon runner replenishes fluids ingly, you put on your long undereasily with proper rest and nour- wear, thermal socks, tee shirt,
ishment. But what recourse for tube-shirt and thick cotton flan-
nel. You zip up your fleece jacket,
tuck on your knit cap, pull out
your heavy gloves, lace up your
leather boots. You walk outside.
What happens? You move like
Godzilla en route to destroy Tokyo
or some other major Japanese city,
trudging uphill in giant, cumbersome steps, emitting monstrous,
indecipherable cries, hot breath
steaming from your hideous maw
like smoke from a burning building. And you sweat. That’s right,
you’re cold as Hell but you sweat.
You sweat under all those clothes,
all those layers carefully applied
in the effort to keep hypothermia’s
nipping at bay. And when you get
inside, you’re cold. You’re hot but
you’re cold because now all that
moisture on your body attracts
the surrounding air and you start
to shiver. But you’re hot because
you’ve just exerted all that energy
and your body remains effectively
mummified in L.L. Bean. So you
take off your jacket, your flannel,
the cap and gloves...and start to
feel cold. Repeat the vicious cycle
ad nauseam, but don’t forget to
ask yourself one thing: is your
deodorant pH-balanced and body
heat activated? Hope so, because
your stinkin’ body says you need
it.
Last but not least, winter affects the deterioration of academic
performance and discipline. During winter, the sun shines from
the convenient hours of 11 a.m. to
3 p.m. exclusively. Your Con Law
professor keeps better office hours
than that. That’s depressing.
When you realize how narrow a
window of time this is, you tend to
give up on the notion of utilizing
those office hours to track your
professor down. The same applies
to daylight. You have less “day” in
winter, so you feel like you have
less time to get anything done.
Errands get pushed back day after day until the simplest task
(e.g. taking out the trash) is distorted into a distant, fanciful goal.
Explanations revealing your
physical inability to struggle up
the hill on snow-filled mornings
fall by the wayside, mooted by the
passing of your professor’s de facto
statute of limitations for justifying excessive absences. An accumulation of unfinished business,
in addition to this declining attendance, aggravates your stress.
Your enfeebled mind crumbles beneath the mounting pressure. You
look outside the window and see
darkness. The next morning, you
look outside the window . . . and
see darkness. Depression and your
first set of impending “D”s set in.
The inchoate roar of the central
heating system (conservatively set
at 60 degrees) consistently interrupts fantasies of getting your life
in order. At last you succumb to
the darkness and fling yourself
upon the downy warmth of bed, a
shell of a law student, reduced to
an animal capable only of satisfying your basest needs for food,
drink and sleep. Ah, oblivion . . .
until the alarm crows its triumph
cruelly in your ear.
This is winter. Cold. Cruddy.
Indifferent to your needs. Some
people defend the season. They
cite the presence of the holidays,
the generally higher degree of fashion in the clothing, the joy and
beauty of snowfall. These people
are evil.
Most of the world’s creatures do
the sensible thing by fattening
themselves up, crawling into bed
and hibernating for the next several months. Maybe there’s something from this behavior for all of
us to learn. Maybe it’s time that
we start to do the same.
first-years in the midst of their
summer job search and third-years
who are still unsure which career
path they wish to choose with an
ideal opportunity to both network
with potential employers and learn
more about a variety of career opportunities.
Throughout the morning and
afternoon, a total of 13 panel discussions will be offered on a wide
range of public interest topics, from
Child Advocacy to International
Human Rights.
After the panel discussions are
complete,
the
Conference
partcipants will gather for dinner,
followed by a keynote speaker who
is still to be determined. Possible
candidates include U.S. Senator
Evan Bayh, HUD Secretary Andrew Cuomo, Lieutenant Governor Kathleen Kennedy Townsend
and New York prosecutor Linda
Fairstein.
The Conference will close Saturday night with the dedication of
a bust of Robert F. Kennedy. Mrs.
Ethel Kennedy, the widow of the
former U.S. Attorney General,
Senator, presidential candidate
and graduate of U.Va. Law, has
selected a quotation by Robert F.
Kennedy that will be inscribed
upon the base of the bust. More
information regarding this dedication will be released once the
Kennedy family confirms which
members of the Kennedy family
will attend the dedication.
Any law student interested in
attending the Conference should
register by filling out the registration form that will be distributed
early next week or e-mailing their
name, phone number, and e-mail
address to uvaconference@
hotmail.com. For additional information, check the Conference
website at www.geocities.com/
uvaconference or contact the Conference Co-Chairs, Forrest Christian and John Henning.
Virginia Law Weekly
Features
Friday, February 4, 2000
5
The Legacy of Mortimer Caplin ’40
by Amy Collins ’01
Mortimer Caplin’s name adorns
many fixtures in U.Va. Law school
— most notably Caplin Pavilion,
Public Service Center, Reading
Room and Auditorium — but few
students understand the depth of
Caplin’s connection to Virginia
Law.
Caplin’s continuing contributions to U.Va. Law, financially and
otherwise, are a manifestation of
his deep affection for the school.
Caplin has said, “U.Va. Law School
is one of the prime interests in my
life,” and he repeatedly demonstrates that interest to the benefit
of Virginia students past and
present.
Caplin’s affection for Virginia
grew out of the many years he
spent at that school — as a student (both undergraduate and
law), as a professor, and as a benefactor.
The Virginia Years
Caplin graduated from the Law
School with the class of 1940, and
credits Virginia with providing
him the basis for what has been a
hugely successful legal career.
“Like so many of us, I grew up
here: I learned what the law was
all about and how to ‘make noise
like a lawyer.’ It was the Law
School, too, the helped start my
career — as Law Clerk to U.S.
Circuit Judge for the Fourth Circuit, Armistead M. Dobie, the
former Dean of the Law School,
who had been appointed to the
court by President Franklin D.
Roosevelt.”
Caplin’s fond memories of his
years as a U.Va. Law student include his account of the Law
School’s close ties with the rest of
the University, a connection regrettably weakened when the Law
School moved to North Grounds.
“U.Va. undergraduates were all
very much aware of Clark Hall
and the Law School’s reputation;
it was one of U.Va.’s crown jewels.
And then there was the widely
touted, albeit erratic Dean of the
Law School, Armistead M. Dobie,
renowned for his fiery pep rally
speeches before the entire student
body at Cabell Hall, and particularly hailed for his ‘Jinx of the
Minks’ speech on the eve of each
Washington & Lee football battle,”
recalled Caplin.
Editor-in-Chief of the Virginia
Law Review, Coach of the firstyear boxing team and member of
the Virginia Players (where, as a
first-year, he played Julius Caesar “in modern dress a la Benito
Mussolini”), Caplin became an integral part of U.Va. Law as early
as his first year in attendance.
Caplin’s other student affiliations
included Order of the Coif, Phi
Beta Kappa, and Omicron Delta
Kappa.
After receiving his J.D., he explained, Caplin did not stay away
from the Law School for long: “After World War II and five years of
law practice in New York, I was
invited back to the Law School,
and spent ten rewarding years
teaching and writing before I went
to Washington to serve as U.S.
Commissioner of Internal Revenue
under President John F. Kennedy.
Later, there were 22 years of parttime teaching here as Visiting Professor, my Professor Emeritus status, the Law School Foundation,
etc.”
Caplin’s life intertwined with
many of the other big names in
U.Va. Law’s history. For ten years
as a professor, for example, his
office was next door to his good
friend, Hardy Cross Dillard, who
had taught “Legal Bibliography,”
the predecessor to “Legal Research
and Writing,” when Caplin at- named chairman of the D.C. Feltended Virginia Law as a student. lows of the American Bar FoundaDillard “was a daily delight, with tion, and re-elected president of
his spirited humor and creative the Indigent Civil Litigation Fund.
mind,” said Caplin.
Caplin’s distinctions do not stop
American presidents and their with the law — he is a father of
families were also a significant five and, as of 1986, a Broadway
part of Caplin’s experiences at Vir- producer. Along with his U.Va.
ginia. Durroommate,
ing those
L e s t e r
years as a
Osterman,
professor,
Caplin proBob
and
duced “ExecuT
e
d
tion of JusKennedy
tice.”
w e r e
His many
a m o n g
years at U.Va.
Caplin’s
Law
left
students.
Caplin with a
The son of
strong affecPresident
tion for U.Va.
Franklin D.
Law:
“Not
Roosevelt
only do I have
had been a
a deep respect
classmate,
for its people,
leading
values and
Roosevelt
philosophy,
to speak at
but I have a
Mortimer Caplin ’40
t h e i r
sense of wantgraduation
ing to repay a
in Mem Gym, where he made “his debt of gratitude for all that I have
famous dagger-in-the-back speech taken from this place.”
on Italy’s declaration of war
The Legacy
against France: ‘On this 10th day
of June, 1940, the hand that held
Caplin remains one of the Law
the dagger has struck it into the School’s greatest benefactors. He
back of its neighbor.’”
explained the motivation to support the school: “By supporting
The Practice
the Law School, we all hope to
In July of 1964, Caplin resigned make a difference, even in a small
as Commissioner of Internal Rev- way, strengthening it, making it
enue to form the Washington, D.C. the preeminent legal institution
law firm of Caplin & Drysdale, in the country, and making it poswhere he practices today as an sible for future generations of students to get a superb and balanced
authority in the field of tax law.
Caplin’s professional distinc- legal education — to graduate with
tions include the Alexander a devotion to excellence, integrity
Hamilton Award from the U.S. and public service, and to spread
Treasury Department and the the philosophy and values so careJudge Learned Hand Human Re- fully nurtured here.”
Some of the financial contribulations Award. He was recently
tions Caplin makes to U.Va. Law
are evident in the endowments to
support the Daniel Caplin Professorship (named for Mortimer
Caplin’s father, as is the terrace
by the fountain), the Mortimer
Caplin Public Service Scholarship
and the Mortimer Caplin Public
Service Award.
Not only is Caplin a significant
financial contributor as an individual, but he is also a leader in
the Law School’s incredibly successful Capital Campaign (he has
been chairing the Executive Com-
mittee for the Campaign since its
kickoff in 1992). Additionally,
Caplin is a Trustee of the Law
School Foundation and serves on
its Finance Committee.
Caplin is far more than a financial benefactor of U.Va. Law; he is
involved with many organizations
at the school including the Public
Service Center and Professor
Edwin Cohen’s Virginia Tax Study
Group.
“His contribution to the institution is immeasurable,” commented
Professor David Ibbeken, Executive Director of the Law School
Foundation.
In addition to financial contribution and leadership, Caplin continues to “give unselfishly of his
time, talent and resources to make
this institution the best it can be,”
Ibbeken noted.
“I meet frequently with Dean
Robert Scott and David
Ibbeken…and enjoy interchanges
with other professors and members of staff,” explained Caplin.
In recognition of the great debt
U.Va. Law owes to Mortimer
Caplin, a number of features of
the new Law School are named
after him. The Pavilion is Caplin’s
favorite: “The Pavilion has a quiet
dignity and spaciousness that is
reminiscent of the Rotunda as well
as the infamous Mural Hall (with
its daring paintings), an integral
part of Clark Hall. The Pavilion
offers an ideal setting for lectures,
dinners and a whole variety of
special events for students, faculty and alumni. Not to mention
the remarkable piano playing opportunities!”
Law School Dean Robert E.
Scott perhaps best described
Caplin’s legacy at the Dedication
of Caplin Pavilion. On May 3, 1997,
Scott addressed Caplin: “I know of
no one among the 12,500 living
alumni of the University of Virginia School of Law who is more
universally admired, no one who
has done more to serve the legal
profession, the University and the
Law School. It is altogether fitting that every time we are in this
magnificent space, filled with light,
good fellowship and the pursuit of
a common purpose, we will think
of you. The legacy you have left us
is far more than this Pavilion, it is
the example of the professional
life well lived, and who could ever
ask for more.”
The Message
Addressed to Current U.Va. Law Students by Mortimer Caplin
I hope you are as proud as I am about being a lawyer, with all its
privileges as well as responsibilities. In a large sense, it is fair to
say that we are indispensable to the functioning of civilized society
— “the oil that makes the wheels turn.” We were there at the
beginning of this nation and have been actively involved ever since
— in the drafting of the Constitution, the Bill of Rights, the upsand-downs of legislation, the functioning of our judicial system. As
“officers of the court,” we are heavily involved in the judicial
process — with the responsibility of seeing that it is working
properly and that access is available to all our citizens.
Harvard Dean Roscoe Pound once pridefully described what we
do as “a learned art” practiced “in the spirit of…public service.”
Sure we all want to make a good living and provide the best of all
things for our families, but we all know there are other goals and
values to be attained if we are to lead a full and rich life.
Practicing law is far different than manufacturing a commercial
product or marketing some gimmick. Yes, we are involved in a
profit-making enterprise, but it is important to keep in mind that
to a much larger degree we are also engaged in a profession — with
all that that connotes. Education and learning are the initial
hallmarks of who we are, but of even greater importance are the
traditions of higher ideals and ethical practices, integrity and a
continuing concern for the public interest.
[Y]ou will have numerous options at hand and must search your
souls on how you want to spend your professional lives. Many of you
will be burdened by a host of school incurred debts and will want
to free yourselves of them as quickly as possible. Some will choose
alternative routes in exchange for a more flexible working environment, perhaps more fulfilling and allowing greater room for other
desires — more time for family, community, professional activities
and public service.
In my mind, the best advice I can offer is reflected in the
insightful words inscribed at the entrance of the Law School,
written by my former teacher and later colleague, Professor Leslie
Buckler: “That those alone may be servants of the law who labor
with learning, courage, and devotion to preserve liberty and promote justice.”
6
Columns
Virginia Law Weekly
Friday, February 4, 2000
When Worlds Collide
I’ve got an axe to grind, so I’ll
get right to my point:
People are, by and large, a bunch
of geographically ignorant idiots.
I was flying back to
Charlottesville at the end of winter break and found myself sitting
next to a middle-aged woman from
Oregon. I hadn’t been quick enough
to put on my headphones (damn
that ten minute rule), so I was at
the mercy of a neighbor who felt
compelled to keep talking to me
even as I looked down at the floor.
Ryan Farney, a
third-year law
student, is a Law
Weekly columnist.
Anyway, she eventually asked
me where I was from. I hesitated
— to me, this question is only
slightly better than, “So what do
you do?”, because I generally don’t
like to tell people I’ve just met that
I’m in law school. After a moment’s
pause, though, I gave in and told
her that I live in Kansas City.
She responded with a question
I’ve heard many times before and
still infuriates me every time I’m
asked it: “So, what do people do in
Kansas?”
What made me angry was not
so much the fact that she assumed
I live in Kansas, for I can
grudgingly forgive her ignorance on that point. (For the
uninitiated, there are actually
two separate cities with the
name “Kansas City”, although
the main one — my hometown
— is in Missouri. My high
school was on a street called
State Line Road that, ironically enough, divides the two
states, and though the school
was in Missouri, the parking
lot was across the street in
Kansas, but I digress.)
What ticks me off most about a
question like this is its utter ignorance of American culture and its
implicit assumption that people
who live in the heartland don’t
have anything exciting going on in
their lives. Kansas City is a metropolitan area of around two million people. People who live there
do the same things that anybody,
anywhere else does. They go out to
eat. They see movies. They go shopping and to museums and to concerts and to bars. They hang out
with friends. In short, despite some
really no excuse to say, “Well, I’ve
never been there.”
I even experience some Midwest hostility when I tell people
that I’ll be working in Chicago
next year. Apparently, the nation’s
third-largest city isn’t immune
from geographical bias. “Isn’t it
cold up there?” people say. Well,
duh. But at least it’s not a city that
completely shuts down in heavy
rain, let alone a mere half inch of
snow. (I went to college in Chicago, and once went to class
through a foot of snow and a negative 70 degree wind chill, but I
digress.) Many who whine about
snow in Charlottesville would be
eaten alive by a Windy City winter, but I guess that’s a topic for
another day.
The extent of all this ignorance
was driven home by the experience of my sister, whose roommate last year was a student from
a small town in rural Virginia.
This person was born in Virginia,
has lived in Virginia all her life,
goes to the University of Virginia,
and will return to her tiny hometown after college. She has never
traveled outside of the country.
Yet this student had the nerve
to call my sister a hick — my
sister, who lives in a city of two
million, has lived on both the East
Coast and in the Midwest (and
thus has more right to
comment on the differences between them than
most), has been lucky
enough to travel extensively around the world
and now is going to college
a thousand miles from
home. The irony should
be patently obvious, but
the attitude and its implication that the Midwest
doesn’t really “count” is
photo courtesy of Marge Lawson
still very real.
There’s no place like home...
I actually try not to get
in grade school that stereotyping too riled up about it. Flat assertions like my sister’s roommate’s
is a bad thing?
I still don’t understand why we aren’t so much directed at others
insist on tearing others down in- as they are meant to boost one’s
stead of embracing the diversity own sense of self (much like a mix
and regional differences of such a tape, which is never made for the
large country. It’s sad that there recipient but is really made for the
are people I know in the Law School purpose of the giver to show off his
that can’t even locate several Mid- or her taste in music, but I diwestern states on a map. Folks, gress). It just amazes me that so
we’re talking about basic cultural many people can discount entire
literacy here: no matter where you regions of the country they’ve
live, you should at least be famil- never seen.
Especially annoying plane-talkiar enough with the map of the
USA to find Nebraska, and it’s ers from Oregon.
regional uniqueness, they do the
same things that people all over
the country do.
Of course, all of this was lost on
my neighbor. Rather than explain
things to her, I muttered some
vague response like, “We get by,”
and then ignored her the rest of
the flight.
I continue to be amazed, however, at the complete lack of understanding people have about
different parts of the country. This
amazement gets magnified when
I come here for school, where the
majority of students come from
cities that regard anything west
of the Appalachian Mountains as
fly-over space. It’s strange: I actually lived in Alexandria, Virginia
for eleven years, and yet I don’t
feel much of a link anymore: many
people here, often without realizing they’re doing it, subtly put
down the Midwest and trivialize
the place that I call home.I suppose that geographical ignorance
is ingrained in our nature, part of
some universal human impulse to
defend one’s own home and elevate it over others’. But why do
we all too frequently have such
irrational attitudes about outsiders, and why do we feel we can
comment on a part of the country
we’ve never even visited, let alone
really experienced? Didn’t we learn
The Dance Date Debacle
My all-girls high school, in an
ancient form of adolescent torture, held an annual winter formal called the Holiday Ball.
Imagine a cross between a
beauty pageant and a popularity contest, except without all
the class, empathy, and warmth.
Jackie Sadker, a
first-year law
student, is a Law
Weekly columnist.
This would likely inspire social shivers in any high school,
but try a bunch of 14-year-old
girls whose exposure to the opposite gender consists entirely
of a seventh grade geography
teacher, the Coke machine repair guy, extended family members, and the male cast of
Diff’rent Strokes. Havoc.
The lucky ones took cousins
and stalkers. The less fortunate
had to write their date’s names
on their hands to avoid potential embarrassment. I think
someone even asked the geography teacher. It was the social
event of the century.
Now that I have shared with
you this embarrassing personal
trauma (I should add that the
geography teacher was one hell
of a dancer), I hope we are close
enough that the rest of this column will not offend you.
Through picking up on the
occasional conversation about
The Ball (it really would have
helped me out if people could
have talked about it a little
more), I have discerned several
distinct categories of first-year
event attendees. I am unable to
apply these categories to second- and third-years since I don’t
know any.
The most prevalent group
seems to be the Flyers-in. As a
result of spending a semester at
U.Va. Law, they have decided
that any other dating pool in the
universe is better than the one
we’ve got. The upshot is that the
Flyer-in date is traveling from
cosmopolitan cities to spend an
evening at the Charlottesville
Omni. The Flyers-in are either
really in love, really wealthy, or
really persuasive. They could
also be really cruel, as subjecting the uninitiated to the exclu-
sive company of uptight law students
can
make
the
Charlottesville Omni feel like the
Hanoi Hilton.
Another common group is
made up of the Dateless, who are
plentiful and diverse enough to
require further classification.
The first subclass consists of the
Yearning Dateless who have yet
to find their ideal mate. They
have spent the week envying
those fortunate enough to be experiencing the simple pleasures
of a long distance relationship.
The other subclass is made up
of what I like to call the Militant
Dateless — those who refuse to
buy into the hype, and just won’t
take a date. I have to say, these
are my favorite attendees. I always like it when people don’t
buy into the hype. I guess I just
like to use the word hype.
Far more interesting than the
Flyers-in and the Dateless are
the Scramblers. This fascinating group is made up entirely of
former members of Yearning
Dateless who were uncomfortable with their status. They are
willing to risk life, limb, and dignity to procure a date and move
into the next category. You have
to give them credit for their guts,
while quietly wondering if those
three magical minutes waiting
together in the Café North coffee
line really created the foundation for an enchanting evening…
Of course, the most exciting
group are the law students who
have actually found another law
student they actually like enough
to ask on an actual date. Both of
them. They have been thrust into
stardom this week as bets fly
about the potential of the Likely
Hook-Ups.
Putting such a diverse collection in one ballroom certainly
does carry with it the potential
for catastrophe. I have two suggestions to help make the night
one to remember, and if you’ve
read this far, you’re stuck hearing them. First, nobody keep
track of whether any women are
recycling the dresses they’ve already worn. Second, I don’t think
it is a good idea for any women to
actually go get their hair or nails
done tomorrow. Okay, so maybe
those suggestions won’t make
you remember the night, but they
sure would help me out.
My Two Cents on the Super Bowl
As a preliminary note before
reading this, here is a personal
anecdote. While I was watching
Virginia Tech’s monstrous rally in
the 3rd quarter of the Sugar Bowl,
I remarked to the assembled
throng (okay, my father and two
brothers) that this was why college football is so good: “This level
of excitement would never, ever
happen in a Super Bowl.” Whoops.
With this disclaimer, here is what
I think of this year’s big game.
Michael Elkon, a
third-year law
student, is a Law
Weekly columnist.
First, it’s a good thing that the
game was so good because everything surrounding the game was
atrocious. The halftime show made
me question whether I was in a
drug-induced state of hallucination. When I realized that no one
had laced the turkey subs and that
there really were dancing sticks
behind Julio Iglesias Jr. and
Britney Spears Jr., I came to the
radical conclusion that the muchmaligned U.Va. pep band would
be more entertaining. Ditto for
Tina Turner and Lynyrd Skynyrd
during the pre-game show. Ap-
parently releasing a good album
in the past 15 years disqualifies
one from performing on Super
Sunday.
The commercials were also similarly disappointing. Basically, every ad sucked if it didn’t have a
cute animal. The talking dog, the
herd of cats, the dancing monkey,
the cheetah, and the snake identified
by
red_and_yellow_kill_a_fellow.com
were all funny. Everything else
made me wonder what they teach
those serious-looking people at
that school next door.
The coverage of the game itself
was very good, especially because
ABC wouldn’t let Musberger near
the booth. However, there are two
minor issues that I noticed during
the stultifying first half. First, why
was Kurt Warner’s wife on every
other minute? After I got over the
fact that she has the same hairdo
as her husband, it really got old. I
was waiting for her to start giving
sideline reports, which brings me
to the second issue. Who dresses
Lesley Visser? She looked like Dr.
Evil in sequined green. As the
Nehru-jacketed doctor would say,
it was rigoddamndiculous.
As for the game itself, I would
have to call it one of the two or
three best Super Bowls ever, and
McNair’s scramble and throw on terback. The Super Bowl was conFour: The Titans would be
the next-to-last play was the best tested between graduates of champions right now if they had
Super Bowl play since…well, Northern Iowa and Alcorn State. drafted Randy Moss instead of
pretty much everything Lynn
Two: There is no good answer to Kevin “One Yard Short” Dyson.
Swann did in Super Bowl X. The the age-old question, “Is it better On the other hand, they would
game was so good not only because to run or throw?” St. Louis had have been 9-7 if the Vikings would
of the drama,
not have recipbut also berocated
the
cause there
brain-freeze by
was finally a
d r a f t i n g
well-played
D a u n t e
title game,
Culpepper inwhich is exstead of Jevon
ceedingly rare
Kearse.
in
modern
Five: God
sports. There
must work in
were no turnmysterious
overs and the
ways if he orgame ended on
dained
the
a series of exRams to win, as
ceptional
Rev. Warner
plays, rather
and his minions
than another
said after the
Norwoodgame. Maybe it
photo courtesy of ESPN.com
esque failure.
was a reward
(Note to NFL: The Titans came up one yard short in a thrilling Super Bowl XXXIV. for having one
you notice how
player who has
every Super Bowl played without nothing approximating a running been convicted of manslaughter
the two-week break is competi- game and it did not hurt them, (Leonard Little) and having retive? Please make appropriate save for their inability to score in cently drafted another who has
changes. Thanks in advance.) Af- the red zone. Tennessee can barely been convicted of just about everyter having had a day to digest the throw and they still came back thing else in the Model Penal Code
game, here is what it teaches us from 16-0 down.
(Lawrence Phillips). I suppose if
about modern football:
Three: Kickers are bad and we God can find a way around the
One:College and pro scouts have now know why they are never in- salary cap, we can expect the Rams
no idea what makes a good quar- troduced in the starting line-up.
to frequent Super Sunday in the
future.
Virginia Law Weekly
Reviews
Friday, February 4, 2000
7
Le Bon T on Sounds a Good T one on Blade DVD Bites So Bad
It’s Good
the Downtown Mall
our appetizer, Muffy expressed her at the colorful presentation of each
distaste for the homeless and dis- dish. I had the Barbeque Shrimp
eased. The menu offers a wide over Rice Jambalaya ($14.95). In
array of Creole (not Cajun) cui- a word: exquisite. The shrimp was
sine. For the ignorant, Creole cui- very flavorful. Miffy ordered the
sine is an ever-changing array of Crescent City Chicken ($12.95), a
zesty and flavorful dishes which tangy blackened chicken and pasta
has hints of French, Spanish, Ital- fusion dish which reminded her of
ian, and Cuban influences. Cajun nouvelle Asian cuisine. Her recuisine is what one gets when a marks: “Fabulous, I laughed, I
redneck throws a pot on the stove cried, it was better than Cats!”
and dumps a bunch of fishy crap in Muffy chose the Smoked Flaked
C’ville Dining
it. Prices vary from a few $20 en- Salmon in a Creole Cream Sauce
in a Nutshell
trees to the $6 Shrimp Po Boy (for ($14.95). This was a light pasta
the commoners). For an appetizer, perfectly cooked and sauteed with
by Brian Kahn
we chose the Louisiana Artichoke fresh salmon. “I wouldn’t share
Bake ($5.95). This was roasted this with a starving child!” exMiffy, Muffy, myself, and Jenny with sweet and hot peppers baked claimed Muffy. Jenny had the
Shrimp Po Boy
arrived at the antechamber of Le with arti($6).
She
Bon Ton as dusk set on the veri- c h o k e
wolfed it down
table fusion cuisine buffet which h e a r t s ,
and picked her
has become the Downtown Mall. r i c o t t a ,
teeth.
As any member of the highly edu- m o z z a After our encated elite might tell you, “Le Bon rella, gartrees we were
Ton” is certainly not the Queen’s lic, and
delighted by a
French and in fact means “the s p i c e s ,
visit from the
good tone” in the rather coarse s e r v e d
owner of this
Cajun dialect. Yet despite this m e l t e d
fine establishuncouth nomenclature, our party with her
photo by Marc Cohn
o
ment, Monsieur
was at once impressed upon our crustini.
Le Bon Ton
Ken Waxman.
entrance by the understated pas- “ B e t t e r
tel yellows and purple decor which than cheese sticks,” remarked Monsieur Waxman has been in
could be described only as Jenny (the excess cheese was also the restaurant business for twenty
picked off the plate by Jenny’s years (he also started Martha’s
Lakeresque.
Cafe) and shared a few of his seWe began with a remarkable dirty little fingers).
The entrees arrived forthwith crets on how to run a successful
bottle Chateau de Perron wine
($18). It was red. As we waited for in grand portions. We all remarked restaurant (bribe the reviewers).
To that effect, Monsieur Waxman
served us a Very Sinful Chocolate
Cake gratis (normally about $5 I
believe). This was a dense, rich,
W I M P S
L A M B
S T E E D
E R R S
mousse-filled layer cake. Muffy
A W A I T
E P E E
A R U B A
X O U T
commented on the soft deliciousness of the cake.
D O N N A R E E D Y
R O G E R M U D D Y
On the whole, this was perhaps
S N E E R Y
R I O
A P E R
I L E D E
one of my best culinary experiT E E
T A N K
I N T A C T
ences in Charlottesville. However,
E M I R S
S U N D A N C E
S H A G S
I would not feel appropriately
haughty enough without offering
L O R E
C A R S
T E A S
P A N E L S
a bit of criticism. Here goes: The
L O V E M A T E
P A W L
S E E T O I T
guy’s bathroom is a bit icky and
S R I
A S S
P A R
D A N L
R N A
there’s a tile missing from the ceilN O U S
M A T I N E E S
J I G G S
ing in there. That said, I highly
recommend Le Bon Ton. The wait
E G G A R
F I L E N A M E S
F R E S H
staff was prompt and helpful, the
P O S S E
E N S N A R E D
L O E B
ambiance was pleasant, and the
I T T
E D I E
W A R
C O X
U T E
food was, in the words of Jenny,
S H O W N I N
P H I S
C A L Y P S O S
“totally bitchin’.”
Le Bon Ton is located centrally
C A N A D A
A L O T
N O V A
A H A S
in
the Downtown Mall. The head
M Y S O N
C A N T C O M E
T R Y T O
Chef is James Reed. For reservaT W E E T Y
Y O G I
T O A
tions call 296-0421. Nobody reads
S P E E D
R E E L
L A N
O P S A I L
paragraphs written in italics. They
let me write a restaurant review!
P U F F Y D A D D Y
A L G E R H I S S Y
Yeah baby, yeah!!!
A L O U
A T O O T
D E U S
A T O N E
M E R L
D O N N E
A S P S
T E N T S
First, an important caveat: although this is indeed my first restaurant review, I have tried to
approach this with the appropriate amount of aristocratic pretension. I suspect you will find my
palate discriminating and my
prose succinct. If not, go bl*w yourself.
Cross word Solution
Much to my pleasure, the night
before I chose my rental two of my
best law women friends had expressed interest in watching a
DVD with me. The prospect of
spending a cozy evening indoors,
nursing a stubborn cold in the
company of good friends was appreciably soothing as I honked my
marathon-running nose, eyeing
the emerging mountain of
crumpled Kleenex strewn across
the living room floor.
DVD Review
by Howie Chang
The next afternoon, I called both
women to tell them that I selected
Blade (1998) for our viewing pleasure. Certainly, Blade is no art
film, but I figured it’d be a fun,
DVD-friendly movie with its many
special effects and extra features.
Witness the responses from
each of my friends when I notified
them of my choice.
WOMAN FRIEND #1: “Oh, puke!
That’s terrible! You did that on
purpose!”
ME: “Nuh-uh; I just need a very
DVD-ish movie to review.”
WOMAN FRIEND #1: (silence)
ME: “So, I take it you’re not
coming over then?”
WOMAN FRIEND #1: (snorting
incredulously) “No...I don’t think
so.” *click* (dial tone)
*****
WOMAN
FRIEND
#2:
“Blade??!??!!”
ME: “Yeah, it’s this...uh...action
movie about a half-vampire, halfman who has to kill all
these...um...other vampires. But
it’s got Wesley Snipes...”
W OMAN F RIEND #2: “Howie,
you’ve got to rent something chickfriendly if you want me to come
over. Sorry, but I’m just gonna
quilt instead!” *click* (dial tone)
So, with the couch all to myself, I spread out, bundled up and
started the disc. The movie that
followed was fairly predictable, so
rather than detail the plot, allow
me to deconstruct the theatrical
trailer’s narration:
“For thousands of years, they
have existed among us.” Welcome
to the mythic and mysterious scope
of the story. “…A secret
nation...with a lust for power.”
Oooh, so sexy and dangerous, those
vampires! “Now, one will lead them
to conquer mankind.” Oh no, Mr.
Ambitious Villain! “And one will
try to stop him dead.” Kick his ass,
Mr. Hero! “Half human.” Our
Hero’s one of us! “Half immortal.”
Wait — he’s much more! “He is
their greatest fear...and our only
hope.” Save us, Wesley! “Wesley
Snipes.” Bad-ass star and producer! “Stephen Dorff.” Heroinchic dude who plays the villain!
“Blade.” Movie title: located in “Action/Adventure,” under “B.”
As one may surmise, Blade’s
comic-book premise is not terribly
invigorating, but as far as shamelessly derivative bad action films
go, it succeeds on that level. Interestingly, Blade functions as an
evolutionary link between Tim
Burton’s original Batman and last
year’s sizzler The Matrix.
Incorporating its anti-hero
themes from Batman, the movie’s
action sequences unfold with a
techno-driven speed and fluidity
that at times foreshadows the celebrated, groundbreaking effects
scenes in The Matrix with uncanny
accuracy.
Thanks to the power of DVD, I
could instantly skip some pesky
“character development” scenes
and hanker right down to some
butt-stomping martial art combat.
Furthermore, when Blade decapitates a stampeding vampire with
a lethal wire, catching his falling
sunglasses when the baddie explodes, I could replay the scene
over and over at three speeds of
slow motion, frame-by-frame motion and three-times zoomed-in.
Beautiful!
The rest of the DVD abounds
with numerous extra features including a commentary track, an
alternate ending, Blade previews,
making-of documentaries and a
feature about vampirism’s evolving role in literature and popular
culture. Yow!
Conclusion: While the Blade
film itself adds only superficial
luster to vampire mythology, the
Blade DVD as a whole packs
enough bite to secure its place in
the burgeoning canon of fun, interactive digital home video. Fun
for yourself, that is, when your
women friends won’t come over.
Whiny Counting Cr ows Wander in Deser t Life
It took a few months for the Bay
Area band’s 1994 debut to catch
on, but the moment American radio played the first drum snap and
guitar riff of “Mr. Jones,” Counting Crows’ August and Everything
Music Review
by Ryan Clinton
After was on its way to the multiplatinum status it eventually
achieved. It was a little bit Van
Morrison, a little bit Bob Dylan,
and a lot of rock ‘n’ roll. Adam
Duritz, the band’s frontman, became the “big star” he wished for.
Two albums later, Duritz can’t
stop writing about his miserable
rock star life. Poor guy.
Unfortunately for those back in
1994 who predicted that the Counting Crows would be THE next great
band (count myself in that camp),
the band’s third album, This Desert
Life, is at its best a recycling of the
Crows’ excellent debut record. At
its worst, This Desert Life is whiny
Duritz’s self-pity over less-thanmemorable melodies and lessthan-impressive instrumentals.
The album begins with “Hangin’
Around,” the title of which accurately reflects its mood. Though
the song has a mild hook (resulting in its moderate hit status), it
sounds like a bunch of guys playing around in their garage, not
particularly interested in refining
details.
Duritz’s whining dominates
much of This Desert Life. From
“Amy Hit The Atmosphere” (“If I
could make it rain today / And
wash away this sunny day down to
the gutter / I would) to “High Life”
(“All my friends got flowers in their
eyes / But I got none this season”)
to the wretched “Colorblind” (“I
am colorblind / Coffee black and
egg white / Pull me out from inside
/ I am ready / I am taffy stuck and
tongue tied”), Duritz wallows in
his self-pity.
This Desert Life is not, however, a complete failure. “St.
Robinson in his Cadillac Dream,”
which sounds like a relic from
Duritz’s early writing days, is
catchy, creative and melodic. The
song features Duritz at his best,
creating imaginative characters
with descriptive precision: “And
the comet is coming between / Me
and the girl who could make it all
clean / Out there in the shadow of
the modern
machine
/
Walks
St.
Robinson in
his Cadillac
dream.”
“Speedway” is emotional, lonely,
and melodic.
It’s a song that
reminds you of
why you loved
August and
Everything After so much. At
the same time,
it’s time the
Counting
Crows moved
on: “I’m just
trying to get
myself some gravity / You’re just
trying to get me to stay / Sometimes I sit here looking down upon
Los Angeles / Sometimes I’m float-
ing away.”
“I Wish I Was a Girl,” the
album’s eighth song, features some
of Duritz’s most insightful songwriting: “I wish I was a girl so that
you could believe me / And I could
shake this static everytime I try to
sleep / I wish for all the world that
I could say / ‘Hey Elizabeth, you
know, I’m doing alright these
days.’”
A hidden song, several minutes
after track 10, is probably the
album’s best. Unlike the rest of
the album, the hidden track (perhaps entitled “Can’t Things”) is
foot-stompin’, groovy and energetic. It features an old-timey rock
‘n’ roll feel, as inventive as The
Band but with the kick-butt energy of the Black Crowes. With
the hidden song, the Counting
Crows had some fun on an album
otherwise suffocated by Duritz’s
whining.
The majority of This Desert Life,
unfortunately, is controlled by
Duritz and his lonely lyrics, unsupported by the infectious hooks
and creative instrumentation of
the Crows’ debut effort. The rest of
the band, so integral to the success of August and Everything After, seems only an afterthought.
It’s no wonder that Spin magazine called Duritz the leader of the
“anal-clenching sensitive 90s man
music” movement.
Dating Jennifer Aniston must
be such a downer.
8
Law School Life
Virginia Law Weekly
VANGUARD
Friday, February 4, 2000
Heard It Through the Grapevine
OF DEMOCRACY
February got off to a rocky start nificant other as a date. You get
with the weather-induced cancel- some out-of-towners involved and
lation of the New Year’s gig at even a few brave souls in the law
Brown’s Mountain. That’s no good, school who use this as an opportuconsidering that in recent years nity to heat up a budding relationthe New Year’s party has been one ship. This is fine for those who
of the pillars supporting Feb Club. have a date, but it is GREAT for
With Feb Club enthusiasm at a those who don’t. It creates the kind
10-year low (more on this later), of environment where it’s totally
the absence of a party to kick it off normal to throw a smile out there,
couldn’t have come at a worse time. then ask casually if he or she would
But VG sees an answer, a way out like to dance, next thing you know
of this spiral of defeat and indif- you’re doin’ the butt.
Third, people are drunk. Very
ference: Barrister’s.
Barrister’s has traditionally drunk. This is a great chain reacbeen one of the most ridiculous tion. The first two elements comevents of the year. The reasons bine to create a little nervous (read:
behind this are relatively simple. sexual) energy in the ol’ ballroom.
But since most readers are equally Most people seem to find that a
simple...First, everyone is dressed little drink quells the butterflies.
up. Lots of tuxes, lots of back-less This has two consequences: it
dresses. People look good when makes you confident and it makes
they’re dressed up. That’s a good other people look good. People look
good when they’re dressed up and
start.
Second, many (though, impor- you’re drunk.
By about 12:30, things have
tantly, not all) people bring a sig-
gotten out of control. Now comes
the time to pick a team and play on
it. Of course, at this point, decision-making skills have withered,
in which case a team is randomly
selected for you. Some lucky
partiers join the hook-up team,
others join the drink-yourself-outof-a-hook-up team. The ruin-ahook-up-for-your-friend team is
always popular as well. Unfortunately, the make-smart-ass-remarks-to-strangers and fight-publicly-and-loudly-with-your-date
teams always seem to find a way
to recruit players as well.
Then it’s up to the hotel rooms
where things always get interesting. A hallway seems like a private island compared to that dance
floor, huh? By now the teams have
split into spectators and participants – both are having a good
time.
Obviously, Barrister’s can carry
the weight of kicking off Feb Club.
And now that it carries that burden, VG is pleading with all of you
not to allow Feb Club-esque despondence to destroy it. The apathy that surrounds Feb Club is to
be expected (3L A.J. and her provocative article last year entitled
“Going all the Way” aside). But
don’t be fooled into thinking you
are too cool to come play at
Barrister’s. Come Sunday, VG
hopes that February has been
brought back to life.
In other news...3L C.E. defeated
3L B.E. in the Lasagna-Off over
the weekend. Said one judge, “that
cocky Irishman shoulda known
betta’. He’s gonna take on a broad
from the suburbs of Jersey?...she’s
old-school, straight outta da Sopranos.” B.E.’s friends and family
expressed relief at the outcome,
“they said he was going to sleep
with the fishes,” reported a source
who refused to be identified.
And lastly, Feb Club apathy
needs to be addressed. You don’t
have to “go all the way,” you don’t
even have to go halfway. But take
a couple steps in the right direction. The level of anticipation this
year is at an all-time low, and I
think most would agree that it
would be sad to see Feb Club go. If
for no other reason, go have a beer
in support of distraught 3Ls M.R.
and K.S. “No one will have a party
on Tuesday” sobbed M.R. with her
head in her hands in the computer
lab. 3L K.S. was seen wandering
aimlessly through Withers-Brown
mumbling something about
“FebClubDance.com”.
VANGUARD OF DEMOCRACY is an
independent column of the
North Grounds Softball League
and does not necessarily represent the views of the Editors of
the Virginia Law Weekly.
PHOTO GALLERY
photo by Marc Cohn
photo by Marc Cohn
We’ve got to do something about those undergrads!
“It smells like a new book.”
WHO AND WHY
ACROSS
1 Milquetoasts
6 Mary’s pet
10 Mighty mount
15 Muffs
19 Pend
20 Olympic weapon
21 Vacation island
22 Delete
23 Thin costar of “It’s a Wonderful Life”?
25 Soiled newsman?
27 Derisively
28 Bravo or Grande
29 Mimic
30 ___ France
31 Driving area
32 Aquarium
34 Whole
36 Kuwaiti princes
39 Redford role
41 Catches flies
44 Folk history
45 Jam ingredients
46 Afternoon socials
47 Discussion groups
49 Match made in heaven
51 Pivoting device
52 Get the job done
53 Hindu honorific
54 Donkey’s uncle
55 Something to shoot for
56 Boone, familiarly
57 Genetic stuff
58 Entre ___
60 Afternoon entertainments
63 Maggie’s mate
65 Actress Samantha
67 Storage addresses
68 Just made
69 Marshall’s men
70 Caught
71 Leopold’s co-defendant
72 Big business ltrs.
73 Brickell of pop/rock
75 Children’s card game
76 “Friend” Courteney
77 Salt Lake athlete
80 Ushered
82 Greek letters
84 Trinidad tunes
86 Northern neighbor
87 Mucho
88 Bright star
89 Inventor’s cries
90 Last words of Kipling’s
“If”
91 RSVP response
93
“___
Remember”:
“Fantasticks” song
94 Sylvester’s nemesis
96 Quotable catcher
97 Shelley’s “___ Skylark”
98 Tear
101 Film holder
103 Mich. capital
104 Tall ships celebration
solution on page 7
1
2
3
4
5
6
7
8
By RANDOLPH ROSS
9
10
11
12
13
14
15
16
17
18
photo by Marc Cohn
“I give Barrister’s a 5.0 on the Strachan-meter.”
Top Ten Law School Song Dedications
on Oldies 102.3
by Bob Probasco ‘00
19
20
23
24
27
28
31
36
37
32
38
50
53
54
58
29
30
34
35
41
46
59
60
61
57
62
63
80
71
74
75
81
82
86
76
83
101
93
96
102
97
103
104
105 106 107
108
109
110
112
113
114
115
116
117
118
119
108 Swollen rap singer?
110 Accused Communist in
a snit?
112 Baseball family name
113 On ___: spreeing
114 God, to Gaius
115 Observe Yom Kippur
116 Blackbird
117 “Death Be Not Proud”
poet
118 Nile nippers
119 Camping gear
79
89
92
95
100
78
85
88
91
94
99
77
84
87
90
64
68
70
73
48
56
67
72
43
52
55
66
42
47
51
69
98
26
40
45
49
22
25
33
39
44
65
21
15 Jubilant
16 Took the train
17 Hughes of news
18 Eye sore
24 Bar choice
26 Sly actor?
33 Clever skater?
35 Skiing mecca
36 Pipe joints
37 Othello, e.g.
38 Unsmiling author?
39 HS hurdles
40 Novel
DOWN
42 Hirsute president?
1 Bankrolls
43 First aid items
2 Victor’s boast
45 Mama of the ’60s
3 Lion’s pride
48 Hide away
4 The ___ State: Maine
50 Shabby NY Times col5 Looks intently
umnist?
6 See 10 Down
51 Host holder in church
7 Opening
52 Lip
8 Road dividers
55 Buddies
9 Way out there
56 Accomplishment
10 Big name in cheesecake 59 W. Hemisphere alliance
11 Describing a heat wave 60 Hole in the ground
12 Ormandy and O’Neill
61 Grammy org.
13 Roger the reviewer
62 ER part
14 ___ es Salaam
64 Bad temper
111
65 Prot. sect
66 Batman’s turf: ___ City
67 Ireland’s Sinn ___
71 Broadway vamp
74 Lane or Ladd
76 Spelunking spot
78 Perfectly
79 Exxon in the ’50s
81 Unfrugal
82 “And the Band ___”
83 Sweetie
84 Next
85 Hanger-on
87 Took measures
88 Arizona border town
92 Pina ___
93 Astaire/Rogers movie
95 Poet’s inspiration
97 Rocky crag
98 Computer junk
99 Whimper
100 ___ effort
102 Electro suffix
105 “I’ll be ___ of a gun!”
106 Ain’t, corrected
107 Caustic chemicals
109 June honoree
111 Count conclusion
10.“Hurts So Good” by John Mellencamp, dedicated to Professor
Wax
9. “Get a Job” by the Silhouettes, dedicated to the 2Ls
8. “My Way” by Frank Sinatra, dedicated to Dean Scott
7. “Good Girls Go To Heaven (Bad Girls Go Everywhere)” by
Meatloaf, dedicated to…well, you know who you are (if you don’t,
ask Vanguard)
6. “Duke of Earl” by Gene Chandler, dedicated to Professor Dudley
5. “What a Day For a Daydream” by Lovin’ Spoonful, dedicated to
the 3Ls
4. “99 Bottles of Beer on the Wall,” dedicated to the entire student
body on a Thursday
3. “We Are the Champions” by Queen, dedicated to the Commissioners
2. “I Fought the Law, and the Law Won” by the Bobby Fuller Five,
dedicated to the 1Lsafter their Civ Pro exam.
1. “Heard It Through the Grapevine” by Marvin Gaye, dedicated to
Vanguard
Submit your top ten list to Amy Collins, Features Editor, in SL 279
or via email at [email protected]. Please have entries in
by 5 p.m. on Tuesday for the following publication.