believable - Hills Valley Coalition

Hills Valley
Coalition
Spring 2015
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A Lifeline For Families Battling Addiction
www.hillsvalleycoalition.org
UPCOMING
EVENTS
FUNDRAISING
The Hills/Valley Coalition for Resilient Youth was formed
10 years ago, as an organization comprised of parents, health
care providers, law enforcement, community leaders, school
officials, government leaders and local teens. In the past,
we have funded our programs and activities from state prevention grants and generous donations. However, state and
federal funding for school districts like Pascack Valley are
virtually non-existent and drying up fast. We must do all we
can to ensure our students and families are educated and informed about the benefits of living a substance-free lifestyle.
The Hills Valley Coalition
Spring Parent Program
If you liked Binge to Black
will hold it’s next
UPCOMING general
Out you will love
meeting on
Author of Believable Hope, and respected behavioral
health
entrepreneur,
“Yes, Your Teen is Crazy”
February 11, 2008
EVENTS
by Dr. Michael Bradley
5-6:30pm
Michael Cartwright has won the battle over addiction Montvale
himself
and
Municipal
Bldg.has Pascack Valley High School
May 14th, 2008
12 Mercedes Dr.
7:00pm
NJ
identified the essential elements to help others. “Put an endMontvale,
to addictive
behavior to find lasting change. Believable Hope is a lifeline for people
Help us attain our goals and
Valley
the Power
of Prevention”!
battling addiction and“Support
a fresh
sense
of hope for those whoHills
love them.”
Please consider making a contribution that will benefit the
children and families in the Pascack Valley Regional District.
Send your donation to:
Wednesday, May 6th
Coalition
6:00 p.m. — Wellness Fair Featuring Local Community Resources
7:00 p.m. — Keynote Speaker Michael Cartwright
Pascack Hills High School, 225 West Grand Ave., Montvale, NJ 07645
Articles in this newsletter are written/edited by Hills Valley Coalition members and PVRHS parents and students
Questions, Comments, Suggestions? Let us know… Call (201) 666-6901
Hills Valley
Coalition
“The Hills/Valley Coalition for Resilient Youth”
www.hillsvalleycoalition.org
Pascack Valley High School
C/O Janice Georgallas, Regional Student Assistance Coordinator
200 Piermont Avenue, Hillsdale, NJ 07642
Non-Profit Org.
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Permit No. 45
A Parent's Perspective
Parents, here is what I need you to know and understand:
knowledgeable about the addictive nature of pain pills, how your
body builds up a tolerance, how much money it costs to maintain
a habit. We thought we did all the right things and got him help.
An addict becomes incredibly resourceful, deceitful and manipulative. He fooled everyone into believing he was clean, even doctors.
Upon returning home after graduation, we discovered he had used
heroin. Again, I don’t think that the thought of him being a heroin
addict entered our mind and we didn’t comprehend how big and
deep the problem was. More help from an addiction specialist who
was clueless, arrests, rehab (30 days is a joke for a heroin addict),
sober house then home for weeks of turmoil before Brendan’s fatal
overdose on Jan 4th. The day he died, part of me, my husband and
his two younger brothers died with him.
It is my “Believable Hope” that we will stop losing our beautiful
sons and daughters to this pandemic of prescription pain pill and
heroin abuse. It is why I share Brendan’s story, to possibly prevent
one child or family from having to go through what we have had
to deal with. I wish I knew then, what I now know. It is my hope
that as parents, you educate yourself and don’t fall into the “not my
kid” trap. Over 50 Bergen County young adults were lost in 2014,
mostly aged 18-25. I hope and pray that you never lose a child-it
is the worst loss you could possibly experience; guilt, heartache,
never-ending pain and a life forever changed. The hole in your
heart will always be there, you will wonder how you can go on living and it will never go away.
Addiction is a disease and like all diseases, it needs treatment and
a lot of it. Where there is hope, there is help for successful recovery.
Prevention is absolutely key in fighting this war. If you suspect a problem, seek help; don’t be
Hope And Healing After An Addiction Death
embarrassed or worried
Gail Cole and Patty Trava, along with the support and guidance of Lani
about
what people will
UPCOMING
Bonifacic, LCSW, are FUNDRAISING
announcing the launch of a bereavement group for
think. Yes,
there is still
EVENTS
those who have lost a loved one to the disease of addiction. Gail lost her
a stigma attached to be22 year old son, Brendan, on January 4, 2014 and Patty lost her 21 year old
ing an addict, but it is my
daughter,
Cate on Coalition
Februaryfor
2, Resilient
2014. There
currently
support
group Coalition
in
The Hills/Valley
Youthiswas
formed no The
Hills Valley
Spring Parent Program
belief Ifthat
thisBinge
is slowly
10 years
ago, as
an organization
comprised
of parents, health
liked
to Black
will hold it’s next
Bergen
County
specifi
c to loss
due
to
addiction.
UPCOMING general meeting on changingyouOut
care providers, law enforcement, community leaders, school
will love is
as you
addiction
officials, government leaders and local
teens. In the past,
Your Teen is Crazy”
February 11, 2008
EVENTS
more“Yes,
greatly
understood
Meetings
will beour
held
at Calvary
Lutheran
we have funded
programs
and activities
fromChurch,
state preby Dr. Michael Bradley
5-6:30pm
as a High
disease.
vention
and generous
donations.on
However,
Pascack Valley
SchoolI remember feeling so incredibly alone while
Montvale Municipal Bldg.and accepted
165
Westgrants
Crescent
Ave. Allendale
the 1ststate
andand
3rd Wednesdays
funding for school districts like Pascack Valley are
May 14th,
2008
12 Mercedes Dr.
dealing with
Brendan’s
addiction and thought people would judge
offederal
the month
from 7:30-9:00pm. The next meeting will be on
May 6th.
virtually non-existent and drying up fast. We must do all we
Montvale, NJ
Brendan and 7:00pm
our family. I was blessed not to feel this stigma upon his
can to ensure our students and families are educated and indeath and at his funeral, where everyone wept and said, “it could’ve
Mission
Statement
formed about the benefits
of living a substance-free
lifestyle.
been my child and your family is the last family we thought this would
We come together in the shared grief of having suffered a tremendous loss
Help us attain our goals and
due“Support
to addiction
and
recognize
that
we
are
forever
changed
due
to
this
loss.
happen to.” Don’t try to be your child’s friend and pretend that a potenthe Power of Prevention”!
By coming
together,making
we willa contribution
remove thethat
isolation
and stigma
and we work on
tial problem doesn’t exist; fight like hell to get your child the help that is
Please consider
will benefit
the
our children
pain and
so inwethecan
learnValley
how Regional
to survive
and have hope. We will
andgrief
families
Pascack
District.
needed. Education and prevention is first. If you are currently dealing
your donation to:
workSend
on transforming
our feelings into hope and learn to live and love again,
with addiction, seek support for you and your family and professional
to find our new normal. We will do this together with friendship, understandhelp for your addicted child. You can’t make it better, love them more,
ing, compassion and comfort.
be stricter or punish them…long term treatment is required.
You don’t get a do-over if your child dies. Experimenting with
Please pass along this information to anyone you know who has
prescription medication and heroin is like jumping out of an airsuffered this type of loss. If anyone would like further information, please
plane with no parachute-you will be out of control and you know
contact Gail Cole at 201-960-4146/[email protected], Patty Trava at 201-3945287/[email protected] or Lani Bonifacic, LCSW at 201-786-8572.
you are going to hit the ground, you just don’t know when, how hard
and if you will live or die.
Articles in www.facebook.com/Hopeandhealingafteranaddictiondeath
this newsletter are written/edited by Hills Valley Coalition members and PVRHS parents and students
—Gail Cole
Questions, Comments, Suggestions? Let us know… Call (201) 666-6901
Nobody wakes up one day and decides to be a heroin addict…
but it happens and it happens far more easily and quickly than
you would imagine…and the end result can be absolutely devastating. Sadly, I know all too well and
live every single day with unbearable
grief and excruciating pain. I lost
my son, Brendan, to an accidental
heroin overdose on January 4, 2014
in his room…in our home in Allendale. Not on the streets of Paterson
or in a dark alley, but here, in Bergen
County. He was 22.
Brendan was incredibly handsome,
funny, bright, had an outrageous laugh
and touched the lives of everyone
he met. He was your typical Bergen
Brendan Charles Cole
County teenager-sports, academics,
community service—first at Bergen Catholic and then at the University
of Richmond. We are a close-knit family, I was a stay at home mom and
very in-tune with my three sons and what was going on in their lives.
I was thrilled that we made it through high school “unscathed,”
without any major problems. I was sadly misled. Sometime during
college, Brendan started taking opiate based prescription pain pills.
I can’t tell you how or why, but we didn’t find out until the start of
his 2nd semester senior year and was told by him that he had a pill
problem. My guess is that he started to ease the anxiety of college
and fitting in. I admit to being woefully under educated and not
Hills Valley
Coalition
Hills Valley
Coalition
“The Hills/Valley Coalition for Resilient Youth”
Pascack Valley High School
C/O Janice Georgallas, Regional Student Assistance Coordinator
200 Piermont Avenue, Hillsdale, NJ 07642
Montvale PBA
5KOrg.
Race October 24
Non-Profit
"Run for the Hills to Protect the Valley"
US POSTAGE
PAID
Hillsdale,
NJ t The Hills/Valley Coalition
Part Of The Proceeds Will
Benefi
Permit No. 45
2
Book Club Corner
BELIEVABLE HOPE
Five Essential Elements to Beat Any Addiction—by Michael Cartwright with Ken Abraham
Michael Cartwright is our keynote speaker for our Spring
event, Wednesday, May 6th at Pascack Hill High School. We
thought our newsletter would be a great place to introduce
Michael, his ideas and philosophies to you. Millions of people
appear to be living normal lives, yet they are secretly numbing their emotional pain with alcohol, drugs, food and many
other lifestyle addictions. Michael Cartwright knows this first
hand. Addicted to drugs and alcohol as a teenager, he landed
in a mental institution in a catatonic state. But, Michael's life
was transformed through the methods he shares in this book;
he became sober, successful and a respected pioneer in the
recovery field.
how we deal with that challenge that
determines our future and makes all
the difference in our lives."
Ironically, many people who
struggle with addictions or compulsive behavior patterns are not
homeless, living on the streets,
or sleeping on park benches or in
dark alleys. They are your family
members, your neighbors, or your
friends. They are us. Many people
who need profound change in their
lives are living in beautiful homes, driving late-model automobiles, wearing stylish clothing, and paying for their kids to go
to the best colleges. By all external appearances, they seem to
be leading the "good life." Yet deep inside, they are controlled
by compulsions they wish they could overcome. They numb
their pain with alcohol, drugs, food, nicotine, excessive shopping, pornography, gambling, hoarding, and a host of other
compulsive behaviors. When one method no longer brings the
desired euphoria, they desperately seek something else.
The good news is that there is hope, Believable Hope. A hope
that is not a mere pipe dream, but actually leads to positive change.
A Tool You Can Really Use
Someone you know desperately needs this book.
Do you know someone who is leading an emotionally damages, pain-filled life, and pretending that he or she chooses to
live that way? Do you know someone who is dealing with an
addiction or alcoholism, struggling with a weight problem, or
trying to overcome some sort of compulsive behavior?
I do; most of us do. Maybe that person we know…is you!
As Michael's Grandma Cartwright used to say, "Everyone
has something. Everyone has some challenge to overcome. It is
Michael is a national speaker and expert on addiction and the founder/CEO of American Addiction Treatment Centers located in California, Florida,
Las Vegas, Tennessee and Texas.
If there is a book you would like to recommend please email: [email protected] or [email protected]
Why Alcoholics Anonymous Works
An Adaptation and Review of an Article in The Atlantic-by Jesse Singal—March 15, 2015
While the chief critics of AA paint it as cult-like , with its reliance on “higher
Many families, today, may be faced with the decision of having their child attend
a local chapter of AA or NA, or choosing a private for-profit recovery program. powers” with quirks and spiritual undertones, researchers who believe in the
What is the effectiveness of attending an AA program versus attending a for- efficacy of AA, point out that there is very little mystery to the process that AA
profit addiction recovery program? In this article author Jesse Singal disputes a follows. Dr. Lee Ann Kaskutus, a senior scientist at Alcohol Research Group
recent article in the Atlantic by Gabrielle Glaser, who sharply criticizes AA for not who has conducted TSF studies, explained that while these programs take on
offering the benefits they claim to those struggling with addiction, and for becom- different forms, they are generally oriented toward preparing participants for the
ing entrenched in our cultural and legal system. Singal proceeds to convince the (potentially weird seeming at first) culture and philosophy of 12 step programs
reader of the effectiveness of Alcoholics Anonymous. Glaser , the critic of AA, like that followed by AA.
The author, Singal, agrees with AA chief critic Glaser in that it is foolish, or
relies on the work of Lance Dodes, a former Harvard Medical School psychiatrist.
maybe harmful,to treat AA and 12 step proDodes has estimated that the success
grams as one-size –fits-all-panaceas. He
rate of AA is between 5 and 8 percent This data finds that when people are engaged in a
based on studies going back to the 1960’s. 12 step treatment program and go to AA, they have also agrees that there are some promising
pharmaceutical options that do not always
The Cochraine Collaboration, a health care 30 to 50% higher rates of continuous abstinence.
get the attention deserved. Neither Singal
research group, criticized AA in 2006 for not
keeping records. However, author Jesse Singal quotes Dr. John Kelly, a clinical nor Glaser consider the possibility of a TSF for-profit addiction recovery program
psychologist and addiction specialist at Massachusetts General H ospital and to be coordinated with, and followed by, an AA program.
In summary, Jesse Glaser points out that AA has lower health costs relative
Harvard Medical School. Kelly says that in recent years, researchers have begun
rigorous research on what are known as “12 step facilitation (TSF) programs. to alternative treatments that do not link patients with freely available recovery
support services. The individual’s involvement in a group like AA or NA have
These programs are “clinical interventions designed to link people with AA.”
The data from these kinds of studies, says Kelley, and other researchers sug- been shown to enhance addiction recovery, coping skills, confidence and motigest AA outperforms many alternatives. They show about 10 to 20 percent advan- vation, similar to other professional interventions However, AA and NA are able
tage over standard treatment like cognitive behavioral therapy in terms of days of to do this in the community where people live for free, and over the long term.
abstinence. This data finds that when people are engaged in a 12 step treatment The National Health Institute has done many studies into TSF programs it has
program and go to AA, they have 30 to 50% higher rates of continuous abstinence. sponsored, and appears to agree.
3
BelievaB
Believa
Ble
Wednesday, May 6—HVC Special Community Event!
6:00 p.m. — Wellness Fair Featuring Local Community Resources
7:00 p.m. — Keynote Speaker Michael Cartwright
Pascack Hills High School, 225 West Grand Ave., Montvale, NJ 07645
A Lifeline For Families Battling Addiction
12-Step Meetings/Resources
Alcoholics Anonymous
AIR Alumni in Recovery
[email protected]
201-741-6409
The Center for Alcohol and Drug Resources
http://www.aa.org
Narcotics Anonymous
241 Main Street, Suite 600, Hackensack, NJ
201-740-7097
Families Anonymous
The Bergen County Office of Alcohol and
Drug Dependency
http://www.nanj.org
http://www.familiesanonymous.org
Al-Anon
http://www.nj-al-anon.org
One Bergen County Plaza, 4th floor, Hackensack, NJ
201-634-2744
Nar-Anon
Psychiatric/Drug Alcohol Treatment Centers
Overeaters Anonymous
ASAP
http://www.naranonofnj.org
http://www.oa.org
Adult Children of Alcoholics
http://www.adultchildren.org
Co-Dependents Anonymous
http://www.coda.org
One Bergen County Plaza, Hackensack, NJ
201-336-7359
Bergen Regional Hospital
Behavioral Health and Addiction Services
Evergreen Adolescent IOP Access Center
Care Plus NJ Psychiatric Services
610 Valley Health Plaza Paramus, NJ
201-265-8200
Full Recovery
333 Route 46 West, Suite B-205 Fairfield, NJ
973-244-0022
High Focus Centers Psychiatric Program
40 Eisenhower Drive Paramus, NJ
201-291-0055
High Focus Centers Drug Alcohol Program
70 Eisenhower Drive, Paramus, NJ
800-877-3628 / 201-291-0055
New Pathway Counseling Services
SOAR Student Outreach Athletic Recovery
20 Powers Rd., Paramus, NJ
201-436-1022
New Directions Psychiatric Program
Marijuana Anonymous
201-967-4000 x 6345
395 Main Street, Hackensack, NJ
Cocaine Anonymous
Bergen Regional Behavioral Health
230 East Ridgewood Ave, Paramus, NJ
201-967-4000
The Counseling Center at Fairlawn
https://www.marijuana-anonymous.org
http://www.nj-ca.org
Care Plus 24 hour Crisis hotline/Children’s
Sexaholics Anonymous
http://www.njessay.org
Mobile Crisis Unit
201-262-HELP
16-01 Broadway, Fairlawn, NJ
201-646-0195
201-797-0001
West Bergen Mental Health
120 Chestnut Street, Ridgewood, NJ
1 Cherry Lane, Ramsey, NJ 201-444-3550
The HVC Supports Stigma Free Mental Health in Bergen County
www.hillsvalleycoalition.org
Join S. A. F. E. Homes
www.hillsvalleycoalition.org/SafeHomes.html
VA L E
SUPPORT
ALC O H O L
FRE E
EN V I R O N M E N T
M O N T VA L E
WOODCLIFF LAKE
R I V E R
S.A.F.E. Homes is a network of parents committed to
keeping our children and families safe and substance free.
Families sign a pledge committing not to serve alcohol to minors.
H I L L S DA L E
C/O Gale Mangold, Student Assistance Counselor
225 Grand Ave. Montvale, NJ 07645
Pascack Hills High School
The Hills/Valley Coalition for Resilient Youth
Hills Valley
Coalition
Questions, comments, suggestions? Let us know… Call (201) 666-6901.
Hillsdale, NJ
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