Alpena Recycling Center LLC
Transcription
Alpena Recycling Center LLC
Come to northeast Michigan and enjoy... THE GOOD LIFE VOL. 6, ISSUe 5 • MAY 2012 MI-Owned, MI-grown www.thegoodlifepress.com Editor: I. M. free Published by The good Life Press LINCOLN TRUCK CO. “BRAND SPANKIN’ USED” 100 Main St, Lincoln 48742 (989) 736-7600 FREE! 2007 GMC Sierra, SLE Package, Z-71 offroad Package, 4X4, Bed liner, dark charcoal interior, steering wheel controls, towing, very sharp truck!, 1 owner truck! $17,976 2007 Chevy Silverado, LTZ Package, 4x4, 20” Chrome Rims, Towing Package, matching Topper, Crew Cab, Running Boards, New Bridgstone Tires, $21,976 2007 GMC Sierra, 4x4, SLT Package, Heated Leather, V8, Power Moonroof, Bose Stereo, Towing Pkg, 20” Wheels, Aluminum Wheels, New Bridgestone Tires! Running Boards, $19,976 2010 Chevy Equinox, LT Package, Back Up Camera!, Front Wheel Drive, 1 owner, Extended bumper to bumper warranty up to 90K Miles!, pwr seat, aluminum Wheels, 37K miles, $21,476 ALSO AVAILABLE: 2007 Chevy Uplander, Leather, Rear Ent. 2004 Chevy Avalanche, Z-71, 92K miles 2009 Pontiac G6, Hard Top Convertible! 1989 Suzuki Sidekick, 44K Miles! 1999 Jeep Grand Cherokee, Limited 2004 Ford, F-150, FX4, Ext. Cab, Towing **Bring us your trade-in!!** WE ‘”BUY” CARS, SUV’S & TRUCKS!!! Miss Jones had been giving her second-grade students a lesson on science. She had explained about magnets and showed how they would pick up nails and other bits of iron. Every morning during our coffee break, my coworkers and I listened to the culinary disasters of a newlywed colleague. We then tried to share some helpful hints and recipes. Now it was question time, and she asked, “My name begins with the letter ‘M’ and I pick up things. What am I?” One day she asked us for step-by-step instructions on cooking sweet potatoes, one of her husband’s favorites. “I’ve finally been able to make them sweet,” she said, “but how do you make them orange?” A little boy on the front row proudly said, “You’re a mother!” LET’S RIDE! Price, Professionalism & Personal Service Call us to Save on Your insurance! Alpena • Mio (989) 354-2175 Find us on Facebook more of the area’s best dining on pages 37-39 - find many coupons and money-saving offers from our advertisers inside! Alpena Recycling Center LLC RIVERSIDE AUTO REPAIR Tim Keppen • Jimmy Ward 4344 M-32 West, Alpena 104 N. State St., Oscoda • 989-739-0930 (989) 356-5609 COMPLETE AUTO REPAIR SERVICES Mechanics avail. 8am-5pm Monday thru Friday. Due to construction, call ahead for your convenience. Also Specializing in Harley Davidson PARTS • ACCESSORIES • SERVICE Authorized Dealer COLLECTIBLES & ESTATE AUCTIONS WE CAN HELP YOU MAKE $$ We’ll Turn Your TRASH into CA$H All Scrap Metal Wanted Best Prices in the Northeast! Locally Owned SATURDAY AUCTIONS 2008 Smokercraft Pro Angler 172 w/115hp mercury $16,350 Sales - Call John: John: 989.354.3566 Visit Website for Dates & Pictures Call to Consign 989-727-0011 612 S. Ripley Blvd., Alpena 2009 Chevy Silverado ext cab LT 4wd 46k miles $23,450 2005 Dodge grand Caravan SXT fully Loaded $8,200 2008 Chevy Cobalt LT 4 door 37k miles $9,500 WHITETAIL BEND CAMPGROUND Rustic Camping • Dump Station Fishing • Hunting • Hiking Trails • Boating Electrica Hookup l Available (989) 727-2556 Located on the Northeast End of the Lake • 6531 Hickey Hill Rd., Hubbard Lake Your Hosts - The Browns www.whitetailbendcampground.com Now offering Weekend Canoe Livery & Shuttle Service FoR MoRE INFoRMATIoN, CALL 989-727-8057 www.PaceHongAuctions.com For forty years we have studied bird calls. There are so many different species , and to make it more difficult they have territorial accents just like people do. The really amazing thing is, we have translated all of their calls. And the message is always the same. No matter the breed or the location, the message is always the same: “Yah! Yah! Yah! Cats can’t fly!” JJ’s Catering & Rental We provide a full-service menu from hors d’oeuvres to buffet to sit down dinners. We also offer a full range of items for your catering or business needs for any occasion from casual to elegant. Ice sculptures, tables, dance floors, tents, port-a-potty, folding chairs, linens, dishes, cooking equipment, full line of concession and business accessories. 117 Ripley • AlpenA, Mi 49707 989-356-5177 located inside Glitz and Glamor Bridal 2 • The Good Life - may 2012 LINCoLN LIoNS 30th ANNUAL LAKE TRoUT AND SALMoN FISHING ToURNMENTS June 8-10, 2012 at the Harrisville Harbor. There are 3-day, super and ladies tournaments. Contact Mark at 989.736.8151 days and 989.255.6324 evenings. 19th ANNUAL GoURMET DELIGHTS FREE oPEN ART WoRK SESSIoNS East Shore Art Guild & Gallery Inc., FREE Open ART Work Sessions held every Thursday 10:00a.m. 12:30p.m. located at the Alcona County EMS Building on M-72. For More Information, contact Bernie Blaszak at (989) 724-6347 STEEL MAGNoLIAS BLooM IN THE SPRING ART SHoW & SALE Brought to you by Quota International of Iosco County. Sunday May 6, 2012, Apr 21 - May 6, 2012 at Thunder Bay 11:00a.m. – 2:00p.m. at East Tawas Theatre. Donated works will be on Community Center on Newman Street. Adults $15.00, Children (5-10 display during all performances of “Steel Magnolias” and Thursday-Saturday from yrs) $5.00, Children 4 and Under 11am to 4pm FREE. Tickets available at: Alley Cuts www.ThunderBayTheatre.com and Village Chocolatier. Proceeds go to support Quota’s local programs: Hearing & Speech, Community Service & Disadvantaged Families. For info, call 362-2790 PoLKA PRAISE SERVICE May 19th, 5pm at St. Matthew Lutheran Church, 7109 Wolf Creek Rd., Herron. For more info, call 989-727-2769 Happy Mothers Day from The Good Life! www.thegoodlifepress.com 14th ANNUAL FRIENDS ToGETHER “SCRAMBLE FoR FRIENDS” May 19, 2012, 8:30 AM at River’s Edge Golf Club, 6373 Werth Road Alpena. For info, contact Judy Burns at 989-356-3231. ALPENA FARMERS MARKET Saturdays, May 12 - Nov 10, 2012 8:00 AM To 1:00 PM, Behind City Hall just off of River Street www.alpenafarmersmarket.org JUNK IN YoUR TRUNK & GENTLY-READ BooKSALE BENEFIT AUCTIoN FoR THE ASSoCIATIoN oF LIFELoNG LEARNERS May 19, 2012 at Pace & Hong Auctions, at the corner of Ripley Blvd. and Grant Street in Alpena. To donate your items, or if you have any questions, please call Jody Kirschner at 727-0011 Ext. 4. PERENNIAL PLANT SALE AND BAKE SALE ICE CREAM SoCIAL/ PoPS CoNCERT PATIENT SUPPoRT GRoUPS AT THE HARRISVILLE HoLISTIC CENTER May 17-20, 2012. For information, visit May 26th, 10 AM-2 PM at Lincoln Depot. Sponsored by Alcona Historical Society. www.tawasbirdfest.com Sunday, May 20, 2012 at Oscoda High School. 6th thru 12th grade bands. $5.00 a bowl with free refills until the ice cream runs out or the concert is over, whichever comes first. 5th ANNUAL TAWAS CITY FIRE DEPT WALLEYE ToURNAMENT 19th Annual BLESSING oF THE BIKES & “FUN RUN” Saturday, May 19, 2012 in Downtown Hillman. Registration begins at 9am. Blessing begins at 11am. Fun Run begins at Noon at Lickety Splits. 20th ANNUAL SHoRELINE (MEMoRIAL DAY) ARTS & CRAFTS SHoW ALCoHoLICS ANoNYMoUS May 26 & 27, 2012 in Tawas City Park, Tawas City www.tawas.com Tuesday - Friday How come we’ve never heard about a psychic winning the lottery? Help Wanted UNMATCHED COMMISSIONS PAID for independent, self-motivated sales people in the Sterling/Standish/Au Gres and Grayling/Roscommon areas. For more information, contact: The Good Life Press P.O. Box 92 • Lincoln MI 48742 Phone 989.335.3642 Ne NoRTHEAST MICHIGAN REGIoNAL FARM MARKET Every Saturday 8am - 1pm starting on May 19, 2012 in East Tawas-Corner of Sawyer & Westover www.getitfresh.org oSCoDA FARMERS MARKET 2012 May 23 - Oct 30, 2012. Location in the Oscoda Area Chamber of Commerce parking lot (AuSable Shoreline Park) Off US-23 at the mouth of the river. Hours will be 9-2 every Wednesday. Call 989.362.3531 Saturday, May 19th, 9am Shotgun Start at Eagle Ridge Golf Club of Glennie 3501 M-65, Glennie. For more information & reservations please call: (989) 305-5378 by May 5th. 7th ANNUAL TAWAS PT. BIRDING FESTIVAL May 19, 2012 9am - 1pm at Tawas City Library-Tawas City. Hosted by Tawas City Library Friends. For more info, call the library at 989-362-6557. May 5, 2012. Contact Dean Ulman 989-305-5880 oUR KIDS oRGANIZATIoN~ SFC MARK W. JACKSoN MEMoRIAL SCHoLARSHIP GoLF EVENT FUNDRAISER Every Tuesday, 2-5pm. Patient support is a small public meeting, discussing the law, types of medication, how to grow and any other concerns that patients or caregivers have. Also on May 22nd, Dr Bob and the Certifcation Crew will be doing certifcations and renewals Appointments filling fast! AMERICAN LEGIoN PoST #104 IN STANDISH OPEN MEETING First and Third Saturday of Every Month at 7:00 PM Alpena Regional Medical Center Auditorium. PUBLIC WELCOME Rummage / Flea Market May 18 & 19, 2012, 9am-5pm Tables/Space Rental @ $20/ea. Public Welcome Auxiliary Bake Sale & Luncheon Contact Letty at 989-714-3372 or the Post at 989-846-4091. 9th Annual ALPENA BLUES FESTIVAL AMERICAN LEGIoN PoST #104 IN STANDISH June 22-23, 2012. “Early Bird” passes now available online. Visit www.alpenablues.com for more info. AMERICAN RED CRoSS BLooD DRIVE ongoing dates throughout northeast Michigan. Call 1-800-RED-CROSS (733-2767) or visiti RedCrossBlood.org to make an appointment. Memorial Garden - $5 Donation We will display a flag for your loved one “In Memory of,” “In Honor of,” “Thank You for your Service.” Memorial Day Service May 28, 2012 (Time to be announced) 3221 M-76, Standish Mail donation to or drop off at Post P.O. Box 956, Standish, MI 48658 with Serviceman’s Information. Proceeds go towards the betterment of our veterans. See our Dining and Entertainment Section for More Community Events Submit Your Group’s events to The Good Life Community Calendar! See below for contact info... For More Community Events, Visit Your Local Chambers of Commerce Online: www.tawas.com • www.oscoda.com • www.haleyes.org www.alpenacvb.com • www.huronshoreschamber.com publisher and editor-at-Large: Chris rayburn The Good Life Press P.O. Box 92, Lincoln, MI 48742 Cell: 989-335-3642 www.thegoodlifepress.com • e-mail: [email protected] Joke contributions are always welcome! Send jokes and other funny stuff to the address above or email. We also invite non-profit organizations to send event information for our community calendar for dates in June and early July. All materials presented in The Good Life are for your entertainment only. Although we strive for accuracy, neither The Good Life Press nor its advertisers or other associates offer any warranty as to the accuracy of any information presented in The Good Life. Neither The Good Life Press nor its advertisers or other associates will assume any liability for typographical mistakes, misprinted information, or other errors. The Good Life - may 2012 • 3 find “the good life press” on facebook They Call Me the Chippewa Point Grocery Store 6575 US. 23 South , Spruce, MI My first job was working in an orange juice factory, but I got canned ... couldn’t concentrate. Check us out on the web or Facebook for more info! 5003 Cedar Lake Rd., Oscoda • Just off US-23, behind Zubek Motors OscodaExchange.com 989-569-3720 After that I tried to be a tailor, but I just wasn’t suited for it. Mainly because ...it was a so-so job. Next I tried working in a muffler factory, but that ...was exhausting. A redneck walks into a hardware store and asks for a chain saw that will cut 6 trees in one hour. The salesman recommends the top of the line model. The redneck is suitably impressed, and buys it. I wanted to be a barber, but ...I just couldn’t cut it. The next day he brings it back and says, “This chainsaw is defective. It would only cut down one tree and it took all the gosh-darned day!” Then I tried to be a chef -figured it would add a little spice to my life, but I just ...didn’t have the thyme. The salesman takes the chain saw, starts it up to see what’s wrong, and the redneck asks, “What’s that noise?” the good life My best job was being a musician, but eventually I found ...I wasn’t noteworthy. Advertising executive I studied a long time to become a doctor, but I... didn’t have any patients. For Placing Advertisement in Alpena, ossineke and Hubbard Lake, Call Next was a job in a shoe factory; I tried but I ...just didn’t fit in. Advertising executive I became a professional fisherman, but discovered that I ...couldn’t live on my net income. Cell: 1-989-820-7182 Cindy Marsh Cell: 1-989-590-2348 For Placing Advertisement in Alpena and Montmorency Counties, Call Jimmy Dean Advertising executive Cell: 1-989-255-1384 e-mail: [email protected] For Placing Advertisement in the Hale and Whittemore areas, Call Thought about becoming a witch, so I ...tried that for a spell. I managed to get a good job working for a poolmaintenance company, but the work was ...just too draining. Kristin Squires I got a job at a zoo feeding giraffes, but I was fired because I ...wasn’t up to it. Cell: 1-989-254-9247 So then I got a job in a fitness-center, but they said I ...wasn’t fit for the job. Advertising executive For Placing Advertisement in Presque Isle County, Call Donna Klein Advertising executive Cell: 1-989-306-3951 For placing Advertisement in Alpena and Alcona Counties, Call patti Davis Advertising executive Cell: 1-989-255-6899 $1.00 of Jerky with This Ad (per pound, expires 5/30/12) Special Offer for Adults 55 and Over! All-inclusive, maintenance-free condos in Oscoda with full amenities available for rent at $650/month Call 1-800-386-7133 for details 5951 N. Skeel Ave., Oscoda, MI 48750 www.oscodaseniorliving.com I attempted to be a deli worker, but any way I sliced it, I...couldn’t cut the mustard. For Placing Advertisement in oscoda and The Tawases, Call Jeanine ream 989-471-9159 Groceries • Beer • Wine • liquor lottery • Fresh deli • Gas & diesel Next, I found being an electrician interesting, but the work was shocking and I ...was discharged. After many years of trying to find steady work I finally got a job as a historian until I realized there was ...no future in it. My last job was working at a coffee shop, but I had to quit because...it was always the same old grind. Last night I played a blank tape at full blast. The mime next door went nuts. E & T’s Party Store Pizza • Beer • Liquor • Lotto • Groceries • Deli 7090 E. 634 Hwy. 989-766-8808 e-mail: [email protected] Posen, MI 49776 Owner: Theresa Lauzon Miller Office Machines an authorized Konica Minolta Dealer GOLD - DIAMONDS - ELECTRONICS ANTIQUES - COLLECTIBLES - TOOLS GAMES - DVD’s - MORE Then I worked in the woods as a lumberjack, but I just couldn’t hack it, so ...they gave me the ax. (corner of US. 23 and Barlow Rd.) Sales, Service, Supplies and Printing “We work hard to earn your business... and even harder to keep it.” Bill Miller Owner/Sales Manager Cell 989-820-5339 1420 N. F-41, Lincoln, MI 48742 Office 989-736-7631 milleroffi[email protected] Mention You’ve Seen This Ad in “The Good Life” and Receive 10% OFF Service on Any Office Equipment Repair. 4 • The Good Life - may 2012 www.thegoodlifepress.com Stop in and Enjoy The Newly Remodeled S mokey’ Restaurant & Tavern East Shore of Hubbard Lake S Saturday & Sunday : He’s Back Chef terry! Enjoy Our Rotisserie Smoked Chicken or Rib Dinners Daily Breakfast, Lunch & Dinner Specials DAILY HAPPY HOUR 4-6PM FREE SNACKS 00 MONDAYS: ADULT HAPPY MEAL $ 1/3 15 $ LB. CHEESEBURGER, FRIES & DOMESTIC BEER 5 95 TUESDAYS: STUFFED BREAD STICKS W/ 4 ITEMS & ANTI-PASTA SALAD FOR 2 PLUS A PITCHER OF POP 6 WEDNESDAYS: SPAGHETTI & GARLIC TOAST $ CHICKEN FETUCCINI ALFREDO W/ SALAD & GARLIC TOAST $12.95 00 FRIDayS: Famous Fish Fry Fridays all-you-Can-eat Lightly-Breaded Cod $11.95 now Serving Lake Perch & Gumbo Walleye SATURDAYS: BBQ NIGHT A TASTE OF HUBBARD LAKE’S BEST BBQ Bucket of 5 Beers $6 & 50¢ Wings Sample Our new Menu COMinG SOOn!!! COMINg SOON In-house Volleyball and horseshoes Call for Details 989-727-2112 • Open Daily at 8am • Serving Breakfast 8-Noon Mon-Sat, 8-2 Sun 5982 N. Hubbard Lake Rd., Spruce, MI - “Where Good Friends Meet” Q: Why is someone who is feeling great ‘on cloud nine’? Sales & Service Cobblestone Bike & Vac 225 W. Chisholm, Alpena • 989-356-1238 A: Types of clouds are numbered according to the altitudes they attain, with nine being the highest cloud If someone is said to be on cloud nine, that person is floating well above worldly cares. GIFT CERTIFICATES AVAILABLE “Providing a full line of beauty services from head to toe” Anxious to ‘include’ as many minorities, religions and disabilities as possible, the human resources department at a university in Canada has put up a Braille poster outside its main office. The poster has been placed inside a display case with a glass front. The Good Life - may 2012 • 5 find “the good life press” on facebook POLISh Serving Breakfast all Day -AMERICAN hOMESTYLE COOKINg every Day Open Daily at 8am • Sun-Thur til 7pm, Fri/Sat til 8pm Continued by Popular Demand 20 Oz. Charbroiled New York Strip Potato & salad $12.99 Homemade Pasty Dinners $8.99 FRIDAY: SEAFOOD NIGHT All-You-Can-Eat Cod $9.99 Beer-Battered, Baked or Panko WEDNESDAY & SUNDAY: POLISH NIGHT 2-7PM PIZZa Carry-out or Dine-in Fresh Homemade Dough & Sauce $3.00 OFF any Large or Medium Pizza Baba Ruski’s, Ossineke, MI • Good thru 5/31/12 13018 US-23, Ossineke • (989) 471-2300 Peter Simpson Owner/Operator Oscoda, MI [email protected] 989-254-8784 Free Estimates Senior Discount Fully Insured Why do we feel safe under blankets? It’s not like a murderer will come in thinking, “I’m gonna ki...ahh, crap! He’s under a blanket.” A woman answered her front door and found Little Johnny and Billy holding a list. “Lady,” Johnny explained, “we’re on a scavenger hunt, and we still need three grains of wheat, a porkchop bone and a piece of used carbon paper to earn a dollar.” We Accept As a young child my mother told me I could be anyone I wanted to be. Turns out the police call this “Identity Theft.” Who Needs a Garage Sale? WELCOME TO THE WRIGHT SHOPPE “Wow,” the woman replied. “Who sent you on such a challenging hunt?” We help you trade, and buy anything. If you need it or want it, we will help you find it. New stuff weekly. Come and check us out. We are the Wright people for the job! “Our baby-sitter’s boyfriend.” 101 Sable Street, Alpena • 989-379-4601 NOW OPEN - GRAND OPENING SAT., MAY 26th Open Mon-Fri 11am-6pm • Sat 10am-7pm • Closed Sundays 6 • The Good Life - may 2012 Salon & Tanning GIFT CERTIFICATES AVAILABLE May Special: $35 one Month $35 Pedicures with Nikki Unlimited Tanning 989.356.0918 424 N. 2nd Ave, Alpena, MI 49707 Q: In golf, where did the term ‘Caddie’ come from? A. When Mary Queen of Scots, went to France as a young girl,Louis, King of France , learned that she loved the Scot game ‘golf.’ So he had the first course outside of Scotland built for her enjoyment. To make sure she was properly chaperoned (and guarded) while she played, Louis hired cadets from a military school to accompany her. Mary liked this a lot and when returned to Scotland (not a very good idea in the long run), she took the practice with her. In French, the word cadet is pronounced ‘ca-day’ and the Scots changed it into ‘caddie. tools - Hardware - general Merchandise Paints - Paint Supplies - Sandpaper Knives - Pet Supplies & More tarps - rope - gloves 55 gallon Barrels Sunrise Surplus 1784 East US-23 East tawas, MI 48730 Mon-Fri 8:30-5:00 • Sat 8:30-4:00 (989) 362-7033 If your parachute doesn’t open up for you, you’ve obviously jumped to a conclusion. www.thegoodlifepress.com The Moral of the Story Mr. Turtle was walking down the road when he spotted a crow at the tip top of a very tall tree. He shouted, “Good Morning, Mr. crow.” Mr. crow shouted back down, “Good Morning Mr. Turtle.” Mr. Turtle shouted up, “Whatcha doin’ today?” and the answer shouted back down was, “Absolutely nothin’ Mr. Turtle Absolutely nothin’ and loving it.” Well, that sounded pretty good to Mr. Turtle, so he shouted back up, “Do you think I could do that too?” Mr. crow shouted back down, “I don’t see why not!” So, Mr. Turtle lay down on the side of the road and began Doing Absolutely Nothing. In 30 minutes a fox came along and ate him. The moral of the story is: You can get away with Doing Absolutely Nothing, but only if you are really high up. 133 W. Campbell Street Alpena, MI 49707 Without missing a beat one little boy: (the oldest of a family) answered, “Thou shall not kill.” Solution at the back of the paper 5 4 2 1 4 9 2 1 3 7 4 9 8 5 3 6 5 8 5 7 6 6 6 7 3 2 8 5 4 6 9 2 8 9 7 4 5 9 5 5 7 6 9 1 9 5 6 2 Contact Sue at (989) 255-5379 8 6 5 9 2 4 8 1 3 6 4 1 7 4 7 1 6 9 Tell me you saw it in The Good Life and receive a FREE GIFT when you host your party! 2 8 Now in the Northeast Michigan Area: e-mail: [email protected] www.my2.tupperware.com/suefanzone 4 9 6 8 5 1 HOST PARTY IN YOUR HOME - CATALOG PARTIES AlSO WelCOMe - And eARn FRee TuPPeRWARe PRODUCTS After explaining the commandment to “honor” thy Father and thy Mother, she asked, “Is there a commandment that teaches us how to treat our brothers and sisters?” Difficulty: (5) Samurai Samurai - Puzzle 5 of 5 Medium - Medium McDonald Bros. Collision ian McDonald rich McDonald A Sunday school teacher: was discussing the Ten Commandments with her five and six year olds. the Good life Press FREE ESTIMATES 989-354-8493 106 Second, P.O. Box 10 Lincoln, MI 48742 989-736-8387 Fax 989-736-6301 6 4 8 3 5 3 2 7 3 2 7 4 6 www.sudoku-puzzles.net 9 4 1 7 1 5 The Good Life - may 2012 • 7 find “the good life press” on facebook OME UNTER Realty LLC Two Offices to Serve You Harrisville Oscoda 478 Us-23 989-724-6900 1-877-691-6900 3991 Us-23 989-739-2557 1-800-550-7355 Reduced CEDAR LAKE-NEW LISTING: 7542 Teal, Oscoda $149,900-priced to sell! # 425-11-0021 NEW 2 BEDRooM listing in Oscoda. Home is move in ready, includes a 1 car attached garage and sits on a double lot. 5641 Cedar Lake Rd. $52,500 #428-12-0002 Reduced LAKE HURoN HoME in Greenbush 3 bed, 2 bath Located at 1911 Sunrise Dr. $234,900 # 425-10-0002 Reduced LAKE HURoN CoTTAGE oN 135’ of waterfront in Greenbush 2 bedroom. Priced at $264,900 4109 US 23 #428-09-0021 NEW LISTING LAKE HURoN-oSCoDA 2524 S US 23 Oscoda 150’ on beach and 5 guest cottages. $450,000 # 428-10-0001 NEW LISTING. Clear View and access to Lake Huron. 7231 N US 23 $175,000 # 428-12-0001 NEW LISTING in the Villages of Oscoda. 3 bedroom, 1 1/2 bath mostly remodeled, and priced to sell at $35,000. 8121 B Colorado # 428-11-0017 REDUCED! LINCoLN: 200 N Lake St., 4 bedroom home NoW $22,000 # 425-11-0016 BLACK RIVER LAKE HURoN: 4460 Lakeshore Dr. $189,900 # 425-09-0016 REDUCED! 5 Bdm, 2 BA, Pole Barn w/ Game RM $99,900 # 428-09-0005 LINCoLN: 3 bedroom, 2 1/2 bath, 1 story with full finished basement. $229,000 # 425-11-0026 oSCoDA: 6050 Side St. $45,500 # 425-11-0008 oSCoDA DAIRY QUEEN7 $399,000 POSSIBLE TERMS #428-10-000 989-820-7343 LINCoLN: 2 bedroom, 2 bath. $124,900 # 425-11-0027 NEW LISTING 2035 Coville Rd in Lincoln. 3 bedroom and only $69,900. # 425-11-0024 oSCoDA: 5684 Riverview Dr. $199,500 # 428-11-0007 oSCoDA: Van Ettan Lk access. 6596 Loud Dr. $95,900 # 428-10-0011 PERFECT “UP NoRTH” LAKE HURoN CoTTAGE with a spectacular view of the Lake $149.900 # 428-11-0016 HARRISVILLE: 10 acres 4874 E Clark Rd. $149,900 # 425-11-0001 NEW LISTING WITH ACREAGE and beautiful home. Located at 6975 Cedar Lake Rd. in Oscoda. Great for hunting or just some seclusion. $449,000 # 428-11-0011 The Love Word: After 6 weeks: I love you, I love you, I love you! After 6 months: Of course, I love you. After 6 years: Jeez, if I didn’t love you, then why do you think I proposed? Back from Work: After 6 weeks: Honey, I’m home After 6 months: BACk!! After 6 years: What did your mom cook for us today? Phone Ringing: After 6 weeks: Baby, somebody wants you on the phone After 6 months: Here, for you After 6 years: ANSWER THE PHONE! Cooking: After 6 weeks: I never knew food could taste so good! After 6 months: What are we having for dinner tonight? After 6 years: AGAIN! New Dress: After 6 weeks: Wow, you look like an angel in that dress. After 6 months: You bought a new dress again? After 6 years: How much did THAT cost me? TV: After 6 weeks: Baby, what would you like us to watch tonight? After 6 months: I like this movie After 6 years: I’m going to watch ESPN, if you’re not in the mood, go to Bed, I can stay up by myself. Three friends die in a car accident and they go to an orientation in heaven. They are all asked, “When you are in your casket and friends and family are mourning you, what would you like to hear them say about you? The first guy says,”I would like to hear them say that I was a great doctor of my time, and a great family man.” The second guy says, “I would like to hear that I was a wonderful husband and school teacher which made a huge difference in our children of tomorrow. The last guy replies, “I’d like to hear them say, ‘Look! He’s Moving!’” Now Open for the Season Produce & Meats, Inc. 2584 uS 23 South • Alpena • Deli Meat & Cheese • Plants & Flowers • Fresh Fruits & Vegetables • Fresh & Smoked Meats Huge Selection of Annuals and Bedding Plants HOurS: Monday - Friday 8am to 6pm Saturday 8am to 5pm and Beginning Mother’s Day, Open Sundays 8 • The Good Life - may 2012 www.thegoodlifepress.com Mother’s Day is Sunday, May 13th Don’t Wait ‘til the Last Minute - Make your Mother’s Day Order early to avoid the Rush! silk Memorials and Florals available unique, Fresh Floral art and Silk arrangements Check Out Our Large Shop of Creative & unusual Gifts! DELIVERY AVAILABLE IN THE TAWASES 1790 US-23, East Tawas (Next door to Sunrise Surplus) • 362-4478 Most credit cards accepted The Resale Shop Many New Items Gently-Worn Clothing • Baby Items Home décor & Collectibles CONSIGNMENT ITEMS WANTED & Overstuffed Chairs Wanted Thursday: “Bag Day” $5.50 + tax for All Clothing That Fits in the Bag Provided Open Wed/Thur 1:00-5:30 • Fri 1:30-6:00 • Sat 1:30-5:30 • Sun 1:00-3:00 Located in Hobart’s Plaza, US-23, Oscoda 989-302-7645 Two roaches were munching on garbage in an alley when one engages a discussion about a new restaurant. If Plan A doesn’t work, the alphabet has 25 more letters. Stay calm. Precious Petals by Jamie Some men in a pickup truck drove to a lumber yard. One of the men walked into the office and said, “We need some fourby-twos.” The clerk asked, “You mean two-by-fours, don’t you?” The man said, “I’ll go check,” and went back to the truck. He returned shortly and said, “Yeah, I meant two-by-four.” “All right. How long do you need them?” The customer paused for a moment and said, “I’d better go check.” After a while, he returned to the office and said, - “A long time. We’re gonna build a house...” There were two buddies one with a Doberman Pinscher and the other with a Chihuahua. The guy with the Doberman Pinscher says to his friend, “Let’s go over to that restaurant and get something to eat.” The guy with the Chihuahua says, “We can’t go in there. We’ve got dogs with us.” “I was in that new restaurant across the street,” said one. “It’s so clean! The kitchen is spotless, and the floors are gleaming white. There is no dirt anywhere--it’s so sanitary that the whole place shines.” pr0p3rty0fahaj0kes The buddy with the Doberman Pinscher says, “Just follow my lead.” They walk over to the restaurant, the guy with the Doberman Pinscher puts on a pair of dark glasses, and he starts to walk in. “Please,” said the other roach frowning. “Not while I’m eating!” The bouncer at the door says, “Sorry, mac, no pets allowed.” The man with the Doberman Pinscher says, “You don’t understand. This is my seeing-eye dog.” TIreS-BrAKeS-STrUTS-ALIGnMenTS Custom wheels•Motorcycle tires•Lawn & garden tires The bouncer says, “A Doberman Pinscher?” He says, “Yes, they’re using them now, they’re very good.” Mon-Fri 8am-5pm, Sat by Appointment, Closed Sunday (989) 739-2039 We accept Mike Allen Owner 5115 N. US 23 Oscoda, Michigan The buddy with the Chihuahua figures, “What the heck,” so he puts on a pair of dark glasses and starts to walk in. Once again the bouncer says, “Sorry, pal, no pets allowed.” Downtown Hubbard Lake Live Bait, Minnows, Crawlers & Leeches, Fishing Tackle, Knives, Sports Items, Gifts, Hunting Supplies, T’s & Sweats, and All Fishing Supplies Propane Fill & Exchange (989) 727-2700 Next to The Nor th End Restaurant Jay Flight Swift 264 The man at the door says, “Come on in.” The guy with the Chihuahua says, “You don’t understand. This is my seeing-eye dog.” The bouncer at the door says, “A Chihuahua?” The man with the Chihuahua says, “A Chihuahua??? They gave me a Chihuahua?!” Jayco RV’s are available for all Size Families! Jayco 31.5 FBHS Eagle You’ll Love This Place! Jay Flight Swift 154 3137 US. 23 South Alpena MI 49707 Open 9-6 Mon-Fri • 9-4 Sat Stopping to pick up my daughter at kindergarten, I found out that the topic of “Show and Tell” that day had been parents’ occupations. The teacher pulled me aside. Whispering, she advised, “You might want to explain a little bit more to your daughter what you do for a living.” I work as a training consultant and often conduct my seminars in motel conference rooms. When I asked why, the teacher explained, “Your daughter told the class she wasn’t sure what you did, but said you got dressed real pretty and went to work at motels.” A small boy was looking at the red ripe tomatoes growing in the farmer’s garden. “I’ll give you my two pennies for that tomato,” said the boy pointing to a beautiful, large, ripe fruit hanging on the vine. “No,” said the farmer, “I get a dime for a tomato like that one.” Financing As Low As 4.9% Jayco 32BHDS Show & Tell (989) 356-4141 or 1-800-968-1976 The small boy pointed to a smaller green one, “Will you take two pennies for that one?” “Yes,” replied the farmer, “I’ll give you that one for two cents.” “OK,” said the lad, sealing the deal by putting the coins in the farmer’s hand, “I’ll pick it up in about a week.” The Good Life - may 2012 • 9 find “the good life press” on facebook Live in a community that is ~Safe and Quiet ~ The Alpena Pines Apartments at 202 Woods Circle is Now Leasing Only one condominium left at “The Willows” Please call 989-278-4250 (a local call) for more information. 55+ Active Living ~ Senior Housing Rent Rate Based on Annual Income The Alpena Mall We Are Still Here! 3137 US. 23 South • Alpena, MI 49707 (989) 356-4141 or 1-800-968-1976 Antiques Mall Of Alpena NOW BUYINg gOLD & SILVeR BeST PRICeS PAID! 209 N. Second, Alpena 989-354-3876 or 354-6036 Open 7 Days a Week, Monday thru Saturday 10 to 6 – Sunday 11 to 3 10 • The Good Life - may 2012 www.thegoodlifepress.com KRIS MART The One Stop Store Your Holiday Cookout Headquarters - Best Meat - Best Prices Every Day Choose from a Great T-Bone $7.89/lb. • Porterhouse $7.99/lb. • Ribeye $7.99/lb. Let Us Make • Whole New York Strips $4.99/lb. (Sliced Free) Selection of Frozen Fish Your Party NY Strip Steaks $7.99/lb. 10 lb. Box Koegel Viennas $33.99 Trays, Fruit, Many Varieties at $5.99/lb. Ground Chuck $3.09/lb. • Old Fashioned Polish Sausage $2.39/lb. Vegetable, Meat Hormel Lemon-Garlic Pork Loin $2.19/lb. & Cheese Trays Dearborn Smoked Sausage $3.19/lb. • Breakfast Sausage $1.69/lb. 4 oz. Lobster Tails $6.99 ea. 24-Hour Notice Required Homemade Brats $2.39/lb. • Sandwich Spread $2.19/lb. Whole Pork Loins (Boneless) $2.59/lb. • Koegel’s Pickled Bologna 2.5 lb. Jar $8.99 Skinless, Boneless Chicken Breast $2.29/lb. • Lamb Chops $6.99/lb. Try One of Our Daily Hot Deli Food Specials More Savings in our Deli Department Weekly Specials on Deli-Sliced Lunch Meats & Cheeses Cold Salads & Side Dishes House Smoked Meats Half Chicken, Ribs, Roast & More! Available at the Deli Counter WE NOW ACCEPT W.I.C. Value Pizza Med/1-Item $5.99 Whole Rotisserie Chicken $6.99 8-Piece Fried Chicken $8.99 Whole Rotisserie Chicken or 8-pc. Fried Chicken Dinner, including lg. mashed potato & gravy, lg. cole slaw and 4 buttermilk biscuits $13.99 Enter to Win This Month’s Giveaways! CASE SPECIAL: 24-Pk. Coke Products $6.99 + dep. while supplies last Many Hot Lunch & Dinner Items Served Daily ‘til 8pm ~ AVAILABLE ANYTIME ~ Anything from our deli menu can be prepared with 15-minute advance order (with the exception of pizza) until 8pm 863 N. Barlow, Lincoln, MI Visit the Beer Cave where it is always 34 Degrees! DVD & Blu-Ray Rental Phone (989) 736-8027 HOURS: Mon - Thurs, 6:30am - 10pm • Fri/Sat 6:30am - 11pm • Sun 8am - 10pm YOU’LL ALWAYS SAVE MORE AT KRIS MART Advertised prices good for May 1-14, 2012 or as marked Abend Brothers Collision, Inc. 10130 US 23 South, P.O. Box 94 Ossineke, MI 49766 Ph: 989-471-2811 Fax: 989-471-2291 Reg. No. F-138693 I like to stop the microwave with one second to go; it makes me feel like a bomb defusal expert. When the wealthy businessman choked on a fish bone at a restaurant, he was fortunate that a doctor was seated at a nearby table. Springing up, the doctor skillfully removed the bone and saved his life. As soon as the fellow had calmed himself and could talk again, he thanked the surgeon enthusiastically and offered to pay him for his services. “Just name the fee,” he croaked gratefully. “Okay,” replied the doctor. “How about half of what you’d have offered when the bone was still stuck in your throat?” - Signs In a clothing store: “Wonderful bargains for men with 16 and 17 necks.” - In the window of an Oregon general store: “Why go elsewhere to be cheated, when you can come here?” - In a Pennsylvania cemetary: “Persons are prohibited from picking flowers from any but their own graves.” - On a Tennessee highway: “Take notice: when this sign is under water, this road is impassable.” - From the safety information card in an airline seat pocket: “If you are sitting in an exit row and can not read this card, please tell a crew member.” - On a Maine shop: “Our motto is to give our customers the lowest possible prices and workmanship.” - On a delicatessen wall: “Our best is none too good.” The Good Life - may 2012 • 11 find “the good life press” on facebook $64,000 Question Bob had finally made it to the last round of the $64,000 Question. The night before the big question, he told the Emcee that he desired a question on American History. The big night had arrived. Bob made his way on stage in front of the studio and TV audience. He had become the talk of the week. He was the best guest this show had ever seen. The Emcee stepped up to the mike. “Bob, you have chosen American History as your final question. You know that if you correctly answer this question, you will walk away $64,000 dollars richer. Are you ready?” Bob nodded with a cocky confidence - the crowd went nuts. He hadn’t missed a question all week. “Bob, your question on American History is a two-part question. As you know, you may answer either part first. As a rule, the second half of the question is always easier. Which part would you like to take a stab at first?” Bob was now becoming more noticeably nervous. He couldn’t believe it, but he was drawing a blank. American History was his easiest subject, but he played it safe. “I’ll try the second part first.” The Emcee nodded approvingly. “Here we go Bob. I will ask you the second half first, then the first half.” The audience silenced with gross anticipation... NOW OPEN IN ALPENA Haglund Landscaping SMALL ENGINE REPAIR & HUSQVARNA RETAILER 2316 M-32 West, Alpena • 989-354-2523 A Familiar Face from the Harrisville Place Here to Serve All Your outdoor Power Equipment Needs OnSite Demo Try It Out! New Item Model 555 Auto Tune $639.95 Oregon 28-Ton Honda Splitter Full Sales & FULL SERVICE Dealer Both Are Better! See the Full Spring Lineup of Zero Turns, Tractors, Tillers, Blowers, Trimmers and More! WOOD SPLITTERS NOW ON SALE $2,399 327P5X Pole Saw SALE $509.95 Reg $549.95 GIFT CERTIFICATES AVAILABLE 20 and 28-Ton Models in Stock Spring Tune-up Specials on All Outdoor Power Equipment – All Makes & Models State and Nationally Certified Technicians to Serve You Best Open Mon-Fri 8-6 • Sat 9-5 4999 M-72 • Harrisville, MI (989) 724-5599 U N L D G ’ A HALL OUTDOORSS A Huge Selection In Stock - Rifles, Pistols & Ammo - Lots of Accessories GUNS ~ BUY ~ SELL ~ TRADE PAYING CASH FOR NEW AND USED GUNS COMPLETE GUNSMITHING • APPRAISALS • ESTATE BUYING ALL DARTON BOW & ACCESSORIES BLOWOUT TARGETS FRoM TURKEYS To ZoMBIES FULL LINE oF RCBS RELoADING EQUIPMENT WIDE VARIETY oF PoWDER Stop in and Save on the Special of the Week - A New Item Each Week Thompson Center Venture Rifles In Stock New Scorpion and Serpent Crossbows in Stock – FREE Setup w/ Purchase “Bob, here is your question: And in what year did it happen??” New Stock of Ruger 10-22’s Some people hear voices.... some see invisible people.... and some have no imagination whatsoever. S BLOWOUT SAVINGS THROUGHOUT THE STORE ON MOWERS,TILLERS,TRIMMERS & MORE husqvarna Chainsaws Starting at $199.95 The Simple Life Resale Store Upscale Clothing, Funiture and More Open Monday thru Friday 10:00 to 5:00 Saturday 10:00 to 2:00. neW lOCATIOn: 2643 US-23 S., Alpena 989-340-0749 “We can still be friends” is like saying, “The dog died but we can keep it.” BUYING USED FIREARMS ANY CONDITION A flight attendant on a cross-country flight nervously announced: about 30 minutes outbound from LA, “I don’t know how this happened, but we have 103 passengers aboard and only 40 dinners.” When the passengers’ muttering had died down, she continued, “Anyone who is kind enough to give up his meal so someone else can eat will receive free drinks for the length of the flight.” Her next announcement came an hour later. “If anyone wants to change his mind, we still have 29 dinners available!” RESIDENTIAL COMMERCIAL 25 Years of Experience All types of roofing siding Windows serving Michigan AL PETERS JR. state licensed estimator cell: 989-724-8237 Office: 989-739-7923 toll free: 888-461-7663 fax: 989-739-7921 hartmanroofi[email protected] licensed & insured I should have studied to be a counselor or psychiatrist of some sort. It’d be nice to get paid to listen to people’s problems and pretend I give a hoot. 12 • The Good Life - may 2012 www.thegoodlifepress.com Honor and Cherish Life is like a doughnut. You’re either in the dough or in the hole. You are about to set the stage for the most important day of your life! We will officiate at your wedding, no matter where or when you choose, whether on our lovely beaches, at one of several inns, or restaurants, near the light house, even in your own home. Patty & Dennis Turbin P.O. Box 205 Oscoda MI 48750 989-859-7343 www.honorandcherish.net Member Oscoda Chamber of Commerce [email protected] “If the ‘black box’ flight recorder is never damaged during a plane crash, why isn’t the whole airplane made out of that stuff?” – George Carlin DRUG 212 S. State St. Oscoda, MI 48750 Family Owned Since 1939 We Accept All Medicare Part A, B & D Plans Gilbert’s Prescription Savings Club Compare to other store plans. 100’s of 30-day generics at $3.88 per prescription. See store for details. Turn Your Photos into Greeting Cards with Our Digital Photo Center! Also See Our Expanded Apparell and Grocery Lines - EBT Accepted website: www.gilbertdrug.com ph: (989) 739-7585 Computer Addict 12-Step Program 1) I will have a cup of coffee in the morning and read my newspaper like I used to, before the Web. 2) I will eat breakfast with a knife and fork and not with one hand typing. 3) I will get dressed before noon. Relaxed Fine Dining & Spirited Drink 4) I will make an attempt to clean the house, wash clothes, and plan dinner before even thinking of the Web. MONDAY-THURSDAY 5) I will sit down and write a letter to those unfortunate few friends and family that are Web-deprived. BBQ Babyback Ribs $11.95 1/2 slab, tossed salad, baked potato & veggie Pan-Fried Perch $11.95 French fries fresh veggie and cole slaw Chicken Especiale $11.95 Risotto potatoes fresh veggie and tossed salad 6) I will call someone on the phone who I cannot contact via the Web. 7) I will read a book...if I still remember how. 8) I will listen to those around me and their needs and stop telling them to turn the TV down so I can hear the music on the Web. Substitutions add $1.00 9) I will not be tempted during TV commercials to check for email. Dine-in Only - Take-outs Add $2.00 Or enjoy a selection from our regular menu Lunch 11:30am-3:30pm • Mon-Thurs Dinner 4:30-8:30pm Fri/Sat Dinner 4:30-9:30pm • Closed Sundays OPEN MOTHERS DAY, Sun., May 13th, Noon - 6pm Dinner Menu Only - Call for Specials 739-1518 • 111 East Dwight in Downtown Oscoda 10) I will try and get out of the house at least once a week, if it is necessary or not. 11) I will remember that my bank is not forgiving if I forget to balance my checkbook because I was too busy on the Web. 12) Last, but not least, I will remember that I must go to bed sometime ... and the Web will always be there tomorrow! 209 S. State Street • Oscoda (989) 747-0000 Financing with Huron Community Bank Available Upon Approval 2007 Jeep Wrangler. Chrome wheels + soft top, 6-speed. 34k Miles, New condition, $18,900 2005 Pontiac Montana. Extended van. Chrome wheels, extra clean. Nice! $7,650 2005 Chevrolet Silverado 1500. Crew cab, 1/2 ton, brandnew condition. One owner. $12,500 2008 Chevrolet Impala. Silver, chrome wheels, 3.5L, bucket seats, 49k miles. Beautiful car. $13,950 2007 Jeep Grand Cherokee. Black, V8. Sharp! $15,800 2008 Chevrolet Uplander. Extended. All pwr., CD/stereo, 2006 Buick Rendezvous. Silver/blue. V6, chrome wheels. great family van. $11,600 Sharp vehicle! $9,000 2003 Ford F-350 Diesel Ext. Cab. Gray with 4WD, chrome 2004 Chevrolet Venture. 32k Miles, nice and clean. $9,700 wheels. Excellent condition. $14,900 The Good Life - may 2012 • 13 find “the good life press” on facebook PROVIDING 1 DAY IN & OUT ROOF REPLACEMENT John’s Home Maintenance Celebrating 30 Years Serving Northern Michigan Free Estimates, Professional Services at Affordable Prices Licensed, Insured & Bonded Shingle, Metal & Rubber Roofs 989-736-8315 800-968-7380 The Largest and Oldest Roofing Contractor in the Area A Licensed Applicator for GAF and CertainTeed Tell John you Saw It in The Good Life and Receive a FREE 50-Year, 100%, Non-prorated Warranty on Your Roofing E-mail: [email protected] at No Extra Charge When You Choose the ROOFING SPECIALISTS Residential Commercial See Office for Details We Work with All Insurance Companies In August 2011, a severe hailstorm passed through Alcona County. Many homes sustained damage to their roofs, gutters and siding. With one call to JOHN’S HOME MAINTENANCE you’ll receive a no-charge estimate for the repair or replacement of your roof. So don’t call a contractor that can only do one job – Hire the company that can do it ALL!!! ATTENTION ACTIVE MILITARY, VETERANS & RETIREES: GAF, a US-based corporation, is giving back to our troops by offering a rebate for our brave men and women, offered exclusively through GAF factory-certified contractors. $300 REBATE* on your GAF Lifetime Roofing System. *See office for details. Our estimates include a literature packet with brochures, color options, installation and product information, along with our extensive reference list. Go with the best and forget the rest! 14 • The Good Life - may 2012 www.thegoodlifepress.com BikerGarage101 MOTORSPORTS and Outdoor EQUIPMENT for Less! 3950 Arrow St. Oscoda 48750 - on the former air base 989-569-3660 Spring Madness Sale! Come In Now! Sensational Prices, While They Last! Register to Win a Husqvarna Hand-held Blower Ask Easy About ng! Financi Bad Boy Outlaw 61” XP Kawasaki/ Grammer Seat/ROPS $9,600.68 (See Store for Details) MOWERS AND EQUIPMENT Bad Boy MZ 48” 726CC KAWASAKI $3,899.00 King Kutter Landscape Rakes Starting at $549.00 King Kutter 5 ft. Rotary Kutter $1,099.00 King Kutter 5 ft. Gear Drive Rotary Tiller $1,699.00 HUGE SELECTION OF TRAILERS! EASY FINANCING 5x8 Utility Trailer Open Steel - Low as $999.00 5x8 Utility Trailer Wood Side $1,249.00 6 1/2 x 14 Utility Trailer, Wide Body, ATV Side Rail Ramps, Single Axle $1,599.00 CUSTOM TRAILERS AVAILABLE EXCITING SCOOTERS! Up to 117 Miles per Gallon! Trikes Just Arrived! Romeo 150cc $1,599.00 La Vida 50cc $1,299.00 ATM50-A1 $799.00 SR070 $599.00 SRST125-6 $1,399.00 PST50s-12 $2,699.00 HURRY IN FOR SPECTACULAR SIDE X SIDE DEALS! Rancher LT $3,999.00 GTS 150 $2,899.00 SRQ110U $699.00 Utility ATV 400 SRQ110P Mini ATV $599.00 $4,899.00 www.BikerGarage101.com The Good Life - may 2012 • 15 find “the good life press” on facebook Save an Additional 5% on Quality Husqvarna Products at BikerGarage101 When You Mention This Ad! Zero-Turn Mowers 46” For maneuverability, efficiency and convenience in a homeowner zero-turn mower package, the residential series really delivers. true zero-turn mower performance with twin, maintenance-free integrated transmissions, heavy-duty front casters and a rugged tube steel frame. Kohler Courage, 23 hp. Stamped deck, #rZ4623 (8216647) $ 42” Briggs & Stratton, 20 hp. Hydrostatic, #ytH2042 (8216602) 42” Briggs & Stratton, 22 hp. Hydrostatic. #ytH22V42 (8216605) 2,599 95 48” Fabricated deck, 24 hp. Briggs and Stratton. #EZ4824 (8216648) $ 54” $ Kohler Courage, 24 hp. Stamped deck. #rZ5424 (8216650) 48” Briggs & Stratton, 23 hp. Hydrostatic. #ytH23V48 (8216604) 54” Briggs & Stratton, 26 hp. Hydrostatic. #ytH26V54 (8216607) 4,19995 48” Kohler 24 hp. Hydrostatic, Fast tractor. #ytH24K48 (8216606) 42” Briggs & Stratton, 22 hp. Hydrostatic, #ytH22V42LS (8216603) 2,999 95 54” Kawasaki, 24 hp. Hydrostatic. #LGt24K54 (8216601) String Trimmers Straight Shaft 28cc #128LD (8216201) 24.5cc #223L (8216202) 25cc #224L (8216204) 24.5cc #327L (8216205) $ $ Lawn Mowers/Trimmer 158cc 21” 550 Series. rear bag. #961340008 (8216500). While supplies last. 160cc #7021p $ 28995 173cc Features a key start for easy starting. #Xt722FE (8216502) $ 32995 (8216505) 32995 Realtree hardwoods ® green hD Camouflage 329 95 engine. (8216700) 9,299 95 $59995 26” front Tine $ #Ft900 (8216704) (8216803) Starting at $ Honda Tiller/Cultivators 190cc Briggs & stratton engine, high Wheel 14” rear tine. 900 OHV Trimmer Series. #Crt900 #HuV4414GX (8216801) $ 17999 23995 bag and mulch and side discharge. #6021p (8216501) green Starting at $ 149cc three cutting systems, collection $ Whether you are working on the farm, on your way to your favorite hunting spot or just out for an off-road drive, the HuV4414 series is the perfect match for your Landowner activities. Available in 2-wheel drive or 4-wheel drive with a full range of accessories, the mid-size HuV adapts to almost any requirement. Available in orange, green or realtree Hardwoods Green HD® camouflage. 24995 $ $ 199 95 Garden Tractors $ 1,49995 $ 1,59995 $ 1,79995 $ 1,99995 $ 1,89995 $ 2,29995 $ 2,39995 17” Dual Rotating $ Rear Tine 10,14990 #Drt900 (8216701) 44995 749 95 Briggs & stratton engine. 12” plastic rear tires. 4 cycle. #Hu625HWt (8216504) $33995 Chain Saws 16”, 34.4cc, 1.8 hp Equipped with Smart start light duty, #235-16 (8216300) $ 199 95 16” 40.9cc, 2.2 hp, #435-16 (8218301) 18” 45.7cc, 2.8 hp, #445-18 (8216302) 20” 55.5cc, 3.8 hp, #455-20 (8216305) 14” 39cc, 2.3 hp, #338Xp (8210304) 27995 $ 31995 $ 39995 $ 50995 $ 18” 50.1cc, 3.7 hp, $51995 #346Xp-18 (8216306) 18” #365-18 20” 56.5, 4.4 hp, 70.7cc, 5.3 hp, #372Xp-20 (8216307) 61995 $ 84995 $ Pole Saw Includes telescopic tube. Versatile cutter head makes it easy to reach even dense trees and bushes without using a ladder or cherry picker. #327pt5S (8216206) $59995 Leaf Blowers 28cc (8216120) 170 mph #125B 29.5cc mph 50.2cc mph 145 #130Bt (8216121) 180 #350Bt (8216129) www.BikerGarage101.com or Visit Us at 3950 Arrow St. Oscoda, MI 48750 15995 $ 21995 $ 30995 $ 16 • The Good Life - may 2012 www.thegoodlifepress.com historic Military Vehicle Show and MV Swap Meet At the Wurtsmith Air Museum on the former Wurtsmith AFB in Oscoda, Michigan June 8, 9, 10 2012 th this year’s theme is Military Motorcycles calling all military motorcycles for duty and display – there is a $10 registration fee for authentic military motorcycles put on display for the event, and a prize/award will be given for the one judged to be the best. see a great display of privately owned historic military vehicles & motorcycles in addition to military vehicle parts & memorabilia for sale. We also invite & encourage military service commemorating & patriotic themed civilian motorcycles for display. as they will be coming and going, the patriotically themed civilian motorcycles will be displayed in close proximity to but somewhat separated from the authentic military issued motorcycles and there will be no prize given nor registration fee. For more info, visit www.mimvpa.org or call: Bob: 989-728-6690 chuck: 989-739-8403 Matt: 231-330-8806 For lodging & area info, go to www.oscoda.com schedule of events Friday, June 8th sunrise - Authentic Native American Prayer Fire Ceremony Begins 9:00 a.m. - Reveille and Opening Ceremony 7:00 p.m. - Show closes for the day saturday, June 9th 9:00 a.m. - Show opens with Reveille 7:00 p.m. - Show closes for the day 8:00 p.m. - Convoy of military vehicles through surrounding areas and Oscoda proper sunday, June 10th 9:00 a.m. - Show opens with Reveille 12:00 p.m. - Closing Ceremony this is a Free educational fun event for the entire family! We sUpport aND hoNor oUr troops & VeteraNs aNy Way We caN! www.bikergarage101.com enjoy Free shuttle service to oscoda Biker Daze all Weekend - Just 3 Blocks away find “the good life press” on facebook Quotes from Real Managers recently, a magazine ran a contest. they were looking for people to submit quotes from their real-life managers. here are some of the submissions: - As of tomorrow, employees will only be able to access the building using individual security cards. Pictures will be taken next Wednesday and employees will receive their cards in two weeks. - What I need is a list of specific unknown problems we will encounter. - E-mail is not to be used to pass on information or data. It should be used only for company business. - This project is so important, we can’t let things that are more important interfere with it. - Doing it right is no excuse for not meeting the schedule. No one will believe you solved this problem in one day! We’ve been working on it for months. Now, go act busy for a few weeks and I’ll let you know when it’s time to tell them. - Quote from the Boss: “Teamwork is a lot of people doing what I say.” - We recently received a memo from senior management saying: “This is to inform you that a memo will be issued today regarding the subject mentioned above.” - One day my Boss asked for a status report concerning a project I was working on. I asked him if tomorrow would be soon enough. He said “If I wanted it tomorrow, I would have waited until tomorrow to ask for it!” All Roads Lead to... NOW for 20 OPEN 12 Sea son SEE ThE ALL-NEW 2012 JAYCO PINNACLE It Doesn’t Cost Extra to Go First Class 2-Year Top-to-Bottom Warranty Let us help put your family into the RV that fits your finances! Jay’s RV Selling and Servicing Quality Jayco RV’s for 29 Years Red Carpet Service After the Sale COMING SOON See the ALL-NEW Jayco Swift 165 1554 US-23 • East Tawas, MI 48730 (989) 362-2910 or 800-362-4075 Visit www.JaysRV.com The Good Life - may 2012 • 17 Concert Connection Smoking Accessories Rock T-Shirts & More! (989) 356-4900 Hours: Noon-6:30pm, Mon-Sat 113 River Street Alpena, MI 49707 Whispers “THE PLANT A SEED SALE” 25% Off Entire Inventory of Adult Products All Month Long 111 River Street Alpena, Michigan 49707 Hours: Noon-Midnight Mon thru Sat., Sun Noon-6pm (989) 358-2045 739-7911 4431 n. US-23, Oscoda When You need repair, Call the Only 911 number that Matters! The stoplight on the corner buzzes when it’s safe to cross the street. I was crossing with an intellectually challenged co-worker of mine when she asked if I knew what the buzzer was for. I explained that it signals blind people when the light is red. Appalled, she responded, “What on earth are blind people doing driving?!” 18 • The Good Life - may 2012 www.thegoodlifepress.com NORTHERN ACCENTS Spring Specials Throughout the Store Dr. Terry D. Trombley Palmer Graduate Skilled and Gentle Chiropractic Care Rhythm Clocks • Beautiful Throws Made in the USA Upholstered & Log Furniture Highest Value & Quality at Warehouse Prices Summer Hours: Sunday/Monday Closed • Tuesday 9am-9pm • Wednesday 8am-9pm Thursday 8am-1pm • Friday 9am-9pm • Saturday 8am-1pm OPEN year ‘round (989) 739-0077 Fax 989-739-2743 5671 N. Skeel Ave. • Located in the Base Hospital, Oscoda Bob’s Gun Shop BUY - SELL - TRADE Authorized Winchester and Browning Dealer Home of Vintage Guns Since 1964 Gift Certificates & Layaway Available Spring Hours: Delivery Mon. - Fri. 10 - 5 • Sat. 10-4 • Sun. 11-3 Available 989-724-5404 211 S. State (US‑23), Harrisville [email protected] I work with an individual who plugged her power strip back into itself and for the life of her couldn’t understand why her system would not turn on. 989-356-1777 Myles Insurance Agency, Inc. 624 West Lake (US-23), Tawas City, MI 48764 989-362-3425 Chocolates Are Always a Sweet Gift for Mothers Day, Graduation & Weddings 104 Newman Street • East Tawas, MI 48730 Toll Free (888) 362-7729 • (989) 362-7728 www.villagechocolatier.com Delivery or Shipping Available Solution on page 54 3080 M-32 • Alpena, Michigan CROSSWORD ~ We Buy Pre-1964 Winchesters & Belgium Brownings ~ 1 2 3 4 5 7 8 13 14 15 16 19 17 20 18 21 22 23 24 27 26 30 31 4 U G H t r e D Down 1. Movable barrier 52. Rustic 6 3. Old 4. Food from the9curds of milk 10 8 5. Like a marsh 6. Motion picture 12 9. Bundle 10. Answer 14 16. Stage play 17. Thawed 18. Illegible handwriting 15 20. Prolonged pain 21. Coat with gold 18 22. Rotates 25. Continent 26. Unit of length c e a M e e a D e l s M e l s i s r a G e 23 a G 27 M o 29 See your local Car Quest store for a complete selection of Agricultural 25 28 29 l Open Monday thru Friday, 8 a.m. to 6 p.m. Saturday 9 a.m. to 3 p.m. 10 12 G r a (Corner of US-23 and Nicholson Hill Road) Ossineke, 989-471-2911 • 888-471-2911 9 11 Across 1. Elegance 1 mirth 2 3 7. Express 8. Toil 11. Forest 7 12. Talk irrationally 13. Union general 11 town 14. Long Island 15. Back part of the foot 1317. Untidy 19. Anger 23. Nimble 24. Swift 27. Shed feathers 28. Circular 16 water container17 29. Mountain range 30. Windlass 19 20 31. Sudden burst of21 light LARRY'S PARTS HAUS 6 a N Y s M M a B o r r a V e s l i P H e e l Y 22 c 24 Y s 25 26 •iFinelCoffee e Beans r I a i D was atPthe airport, • Cappuccino Wi checking in at the 28 Fi •lLatte t B a gate s when i anNairport • SANDWICHES employee asked, “Has 30 •DPASTRIES anyone put anything in e s W i N c H Featuring D f l Ashby-Sterling Ice Cream Across 110 E. Main Street 1. Elegance Harrisville, MI 48740 989.724.7071 7. Express mirth www.alconacoffee.com 8. Toil 11. Forest 31 your baggage without your knowledge?” a s H To which I replied, “If it was without my knowledge, how would I know?” He smiled knowingly and nodded, “That’s why we ask.” find “the good life press” on facebook The Good Life - may 2012 • 19 The rural community of Hillman is located in Montmorency County. Hunting, fishing, golf, camping and snowmobiling make Hillman a great place for any outdoor enthusiast. Festivals, fairs and other attractions are provided at all times of the year. If you haven’t been to Hillman since the completion of our new streetscape, you’re in for a real treat. The new bridge allows for a visual of the Thunder Bay River and a better view of the wonderful Brush Creek Mill. If you’re bringing children along, you must visit Tiger Paw Park, an incredible, well-kept secret at the east end of Progress Street. The beauty of the lakes in our area is second to none. Come on up or down or over to Hillman and enjoy the hospitality and warmth of “Up North.” Jack’s Landing resort Great People, Great Products, Great Prices RESTRUANT OPENS MAY 3rd, 2012 2012 UPCOMINg EVENTS May 19 Blessing of the Bikes and Poker Run Downtown Hillman Registration begins at 9am. Coffee served at registration booth. T-shirts, hoodies, pins and doo-rags for sale by Chamber of Commerce. Great food at area establishments. Food tent right outside of Lickety Splits. Blessing begins at 11am. Fun Run begins at Noon at Lickety Splits. 5/50 Drawing with proceeds donated to the Special Olympics. EVENTS AT BRUSH CREEK MILL: May 12th - Memorial Service 12:00 noon, for Margaret (Maggie) Clay. All are welcome to attend. “Evenings at the Mill” Original Music, Supper and Conversation with Allan James Grund Every second Saturday throughout the summer; May 12th, June 9th, July 14 and August 11th. Doors open at 4:30, Music begins at 5:15. Original songs about the Civil War along with information and stories. A light supper will be served followed by more varied musical entertainment. Cost: $5.00 per person May 18th - Music at the Mill, Open mike, all are welcome to perform. Free admission, Concession open. May 26th - YARD SALE 8:00 am to 4:00 pm.Rental spaces available, $10 outside, $15 inside the mill. Donations for the mill table can be dropped off at the mill starting the first week in May. Accepting furniture, toys, tools, household items, etc. Concession open. HOURS 11:00 to 8:00 Monday through Thursday 8:00 to 8:00 Friday, Saturday & Sunday 20836 Tennis Rd, Hillman 989-742-4370 www.jackslanding.com hILLMAN BP 274000 M-32 P.O. Box 255 Hillman, MI 49746 PHONE (989) 742-4313 AUTO PARTS Auto • Farm • Fleet Welding Supplies • Cylinder Gasses Lawn & Garden • Marina Parts & Supplies fochtman CARQUEST 641 nOrTH STATE STrEET, HiLLMAn Hours: Monday - Friday 7:30 - 5:30 • Saturday 8:00 - 3:00 Phone 989-742-4597 • 800-861-5888 A-1 Woods & Waters Live Bait * Carhartt Clothing * Rifles * Handguns * Ammo * Crossbows 742-3878 oPeN 7 DaYs 141 North State St. • Hillman Visit Us at www.a1woodsandwaters.com a Place for Healing MediLodge Proud 989-785-4214 Letterheads •• Envelopes Letterheads Enevlopes BusinessCards Cards •• Brochures Brochures • •Menus Business Menus HistoryBooks Books •• Real real Estate History EstateBrochures Brochures and much much more... and more... MEDILODGE OF • 2011 National Commitment to Quality Award – Bronze • 2010 Sunrise Side’s Best Skilled Nursing Facility • 2009 HCAM Facility of the year • 100% Family Satisfaction 989-742-4581 HILLMAN Brush Creek Mill Hillman, MI History, Education, Entertainment. Visit River’s Edge Gift Shop Open hours: Tues. - Sat. Noon to 4:00 Quilt Shop SandyDee’s Sewing 1015B Hawley Road Hillman, Michigan 49746 989-379-2406 shop • 989-255-4368 cell [email protected] www.cfcu.org (877) 937-2328 First Choice Real Estate P.O. Box 335 16670 M32/33 • Atlanta, MI Roselyn “Rosie” Ferguson Owner/Broker Toll Free 877-785-2808 offi[email protected] www.firstchoice-realestate.com Soaring above the rest IndependentBank.com 20 • The Good Life - may 2012 www.thegoodlifepress.com HoURS: Mon-Thur 10-7 • Fri 10-6 Sat 10-5 • Sun 12-3 989-278-4020 Alpena’s Independent Book Store Writers Group May 8, 5:30-6:30pm Book Club Sunday, May 20 at 3pm Thursday, May 24th, 5:30-7:30pm Book Launch for Peg Herring, onaway Author My Glass Wings One Front Door ... Stained Glass Studio Art Glass Supply*Classes Repairs*Custom Work Order Your Hometown Michigan Souvenirs Handmade Gifts * Heirloom Keepsakes Trinket Boxes • Crosses • Seasonal Decorations Variety of Stained Glass Pieces for Mothers Day 989-358-9464 GIFT CERTIFICATES AVAILABLE HOURS: Mon & Sat 10-2 Tues/Wed/Thur/Fri 10-7 Sundays By Appointment Children’s Story Time - Fridays 10:30-11:00am Classes Now Forming for Spring and Summer Garden Items Visit us at www.myglasswings.com e-mail: [email protected] Johnrowe Building - 106 Second Ave., Alpena, MI Lakefront home for Sale On Van Ettan Lake Oscoda, Michigan 48750 Three bedroom, 2 1/2 bath, sandy bottom for swimming, two decks, fire pit by water, built in hot tub on house deck, in-ground sprinkler system, three car garage, propane heat and heat pump/air conditioner, dock and hoist, partly furnished. Asking $265,000 (989) 751-2927 Having children is hereditary. If your parents didn’t have children, chances are you won’t either. I wanted to buy a CD player, but was completely perplexed by one model’s promotional sign. So I called the salesclerk over and asked, “What does ‘hybrid pulse D/A converter’ mean?” Fast Crossword Solution at the back of the paper He said, “That means that this machine will read the digital information that is encoded on CDs and convert it into an audio signal.” “In other words,” I said, “this CD player plays CDs.” “Exactly.” Cold Beer • Wine • Groceries Fresh Michigan Produce • Lotto 415 W, Main, Hale • (989) 728-7631 Insurance Work – Guaranteed tintable Spray-in Bed Liners Auto Glass-Stone Chips twenty years Experience TAWAS SUPPLY & APPLIANCE 60” LG TV $ 50” LG TV $ 150oFF 200oFF 47” LG TV $ 100oFF fLAT SCREEN TV BLOWOUT – ALL APPLIANCES oN SALE – Support Your Community - Buy Local 989-362-2388 • 1730 US23, E. Tawas • 1-800-510-3526 “It’s time to see how clearly you can think,” the teacher said to his class. “Now, listen carefully, and think about what I’m saying. I’m thinking of a person who has the same mother and father as I have. But this person is not my brother and not my sister. Who is it?” The kids in the class furrowed their brows, scratched their heads, and otherwise showed how hard they were thinking. But no one came up with the right answer. When everyone in the class had given up, the teacher announced, “The person is me.” Little Jeffrey beamed at learning the answer. “That’s a good one,” he said to himself. “I’ll have to try that on Mom and Dad.” At dinner that night, little Jeffrey repeated the riddle to his parents. “I’m thinking of a person who has the same mother and father as I have,” he said. “But this person isn’t my brother and isn’t my sister. Who is it?” His parents furrowed their brows, scratched their heads, and otherwise pretended that they were thinking hard. Then they both said, “I give up. Who is it?” “It’s my teacher!” Jeffrey said. “A politician is a fellow who will lay down your life for his country.” – Texas Guinan two Great Destinations... ACRoSS 1 Source of aid or support (8) 5 Discrimination against the elderly (6) 9 Threshold (8) 10 Daughterly (6) 12 Card game (9) 13 Blood vessels (5) 14 Past tense of “To be” (4) 16 Small dining room set (7) 19 Not himself (7) 21 Coral island (4) 24 Not daytime (5) 25 They import illegally (9) 27 Makes skin soft (6) 28 Language spoken in Tokyo (8) 29 Cease (6) 30 Compliant (8) DoWN 1 A pungent edible root (6) 2 Bobbins (6) 3 Cause to overturn (5) 4 Cleft (7) 6 Complaint (9) 7 Start (8) 8 Syrup made from sugar cane (8) 11 Emasculate (4) 15 Instances of hard physical labor (9) 17 Roofed (8) 18 Warships (8) 20 Bother (4) 21 A plant sometimes used in pies (7) 22 Break away (6) 23 Express agreement (6) 26 Secretes a hormone (5) The Good Life - may 2012 • 21 find “the good life press” on facebook Largest Selection in northern MI Tawas Bay Yarn Company huge Space, More Yarn on Display, Great Knitting Corner, excellent Book, Magazine and pattern Section COMe In AnD hAVe A peeK! Spring and Summer Yarns Arriving Daily! Tatting Classes - Call for Details & Schedule Bargains on Closeouts & Discontinued Yarns The Annex, Open 11am-5pm, Monday thru Saturday 1820 E. US 23, East Tawas 4 miles north of the old location across from Dean Arbour Cadillac, next to Timmy Tire 989-362-4463 Mon-Sat 11am-5pm Come See Us... We’re Worth the Drive! Visit us at www.tawasbayyarn.com Spring SpeCial Free Delivery & Foundations on All Grave Markers 5251 N. uS-23, Oscoda (989) 739-9341 While I was working in the men’s section of a department store, a woman asked me to help her choose a white dress shirt for her husband. When I asked about his size, the woman looked stumped at first, then her face brightened. She held up her hands, forming a circle with her forefingers and thumbs. The telephone rings in the principal’s office at a school. Life is Great Lakes Experience life like it’s meant to be lived with Great Lakes Spas. Share fun, fresh air, and quality time. Throw a party everyone will remember. Or take a rewarding break right in your own back yard. Our line of American-made spas extends from entry-level value to affordable luxury, offering more ways to enjoy life’s simple pleasures every day. “Hello, this is Dunn Elementary,” answers the principal. “Hi. Jimmy won’t be able to come to school all next week,” replies the voice. “Well, what seems to be the problem with him?” Largest Selection of Tubs Ever Sold at Discount Prices We are all going on a family vacation,” says the voice, “I hope it is all right.” “I guess that would be fine,” says the principal. “May I ask who is calling?” “Sure. This is my father!” FREE SETUP & DELIVERY OF SPAS 220 Sable St. (Downtown Alpena) PART II 15. Your daughter just bought a CD of all the records your College roommate used to play. 16. You check the ingredients on a can of chicken noodle soup to see if it contains Echinacea. 17. You checked your blow-dryer to see if it was Y2K compliant. 18. Your grandmother clogs up your e-mail inbox asking you to send her a JPEG file of your newborn so she can create a screen saver. 19. You pull up in your own driveway and use your cell phone to see if anyone is home. 20. Every commercial on television has a web-site address at the bottom of the screen. 21. You buy a computer and a week later it is out of date and now sells for half the price you paid. 22. The concept of using real money, instead of credit or debit, to make a purchase is foreign to you. 23. Cleaning up the dining room means getting the fast food bags out of the back seat of your car. 24. You consider second-day air delivery painfully slow. 25. Your dining room table is now your flat filing cabinet. Serving the Area for Over 40 Years Toll Free 888-356-2642 989-356-2642 • 989-354-3164 Visit Us at www.alspools.com Lawyer: “Judge, I wish to appeal my client’s case on the basis of newly discovered evidence.” Judge: “And what is the nature of the new evidence?” Lawyer: “Judge, I discovered that my client still has $500 left.” “I don’t know his size,” she said, “but my hands fit perfectly around his neck.” Signs You’ve Had Enough of the Modern Age LOWEST PRICES – GUARANTEED!!! Hot tUBs DORMITORY: When you rearrange the letters: DIRTY ROOM THE MORSE CODE: When you rearrange the letters: HERE COME DOTS SLOT MACHINES: When you rearrange the letters: CASH LOST IN ME ANIMOSITY: When you rearrange the letters: IS NO AMITY MOTHER-IN-LAW: When you rearrange the letters: WOMAN HITLER SNOOZE ALARMS: When you rearrange the letters: ALAS! NO MORE ZS A DECIMAL POINT: When you rearrange the letters: I’M A DOT IN PLACE ELEVEN PLUS TWO: When you rearrange the letters: TWELVE PLUS ONE my daughter went to a taco place and ordered a taco. she asked the person behind the counter for “minimal lettuce.” He said he was sorry, but they only had iceberg. Yes, really. The Liberty Building US-23, Tawas City, MI NEWLY EXPANDED 402 W. LAKE STREET (US-23), TAWAS CITY We Buy & Sell (989) 362-6644 ANTIQUES • ESTATE FURNITURE PRIMITIVE TO VICTORIAN • COLLECTIBLES ESTATE SALE SERVICE AVAILABLE Hours: Monday-Saturday 10-5, Sundays 11-4 • [email protected] Yvonne Gregg, BS, CMT 402 W. Lake Street, Tawas City (989) 820-0922 or (989) 362-4795 Marbie’s Nutrition Your Complete Health Food Store! 402 Lake Street Tawas City, MI 48763 989-362-4371 Hours: Monday-Friday 10am - 5:30pm Saturday 10am-5pm Tawas Bay Tax Income Tax & Accounting Annette Templin Liberty Building 402 W. Lake St. (US-23) Tawas City, MI 48763 phones: (989) 820-0539 (989) 984-0575 [email protected] 22 • The Good Life - may 2012 www.thegoodlifepress.com Pizza • Ice Cream Parlor Propane Exchange • Lotto Boost & Other Phone Cards A Large Selection of Wines and Micro Brews in Our “Wine Room” 515 N. Huron, AuGres • 989-876-6910 Mom MJ’s Salon & Nails MELISSA JANE GARY - PROPRIETOR 403 NORTH STATE STREET OSCODA, MICHIGAN 48750 (989) 739-8559 Just Spoil Her! Gift Certificates Available An American manufacturer is showing his machine factory to a potential customer from Albania. At noon, when the lunch whistle blows, two thousand men and women immediately stop work and leave the building. “Your workers, they’re escaping!” cries the visitor. “You’ve got to stop them.” “Don’t worry, they’ll be back,” says the American. And indeed, at exactly one o’clock the whistle blows again, and all the workers return from their break. When the tour is over, the manufacturer turns to his guest and says, “Well, now, which of these machines would you like to order?” “Forget the machines,” says the visitor. “How much do you want for that whistle?” Quality Sterling Silver Jewelry Inventory Reduction Sale! www.bluebearjewelry.com 115 Newman Street, East Tawas • 989-305-6465 CHAMILIA Buy one jewelry item at full price and get a second of equal or lower price for Garden Party 50% off!! May 16, 17, 18, & 19 Hurry in for beston selection. Great specials beads, Sale ends February 2 bracelets, & necklaces. Offer not valid for consignment items in store or each alreadypurchase, discountedyour jewelry in store. With name will be entered drawing for Chamilia items. Comeintoinaand treat yourself - You Deserve It! NEDO’S FARM MARKET Harbortown Marketplace & DRIVING RANGE Harrisville, MI 4686 F-41, Mikado, 48745 Monday-Saturday: 10MI a.m. - 5 p.m. Your Full Service Market Open Daily 9-9 Spring Greenhouse Opens May 12th, Ready for Mothers Day! Beer Specializing in * Fresh Produce Specials Convenience Foods * Hardware Beer * Wine * Liquor * Lotto Pet Food & Supplies * Wild Bird Feed We Accept Visa, MasterCard & Bridge Cards Phone/Fax (989) 736-6649 Wayne & Marta Nedo proprietors If Cinderella’s shoe fit perfectly... Why did it fall off? Kelly’s Party Store Polka Praise Service Saturday, May 19th at 5:00 pm Musical Accompaniment provided by Norm Siess Fellowship Afterwards St. Matthew Lutheran Church 7109 Wolf Creek Rd., Herron For more information, call 989-727-2769 A couple just started their Lamaze class and they were given an activity requiring the husband to wear a bag of sand - to give him an idea of what it feels like to be pregnant. The husband stood up and shrugged saying, “This doesn’t feel so bad.” The instructor then dropped a pen and asked the husband to pick it up. “You want me to pick up the pen as if I were pregnant, the way my wife would do it?” the husband asked. “Exactly,” replied the instructor. To the delight of the other husbands, he turned to his wife and said, “Honey, pick up that pen for me.” The Good Life - may 2012 • 23 find “the good life press” on facebook “MICHIGAN’S OLDEST” Since 1939 MILD, AGED, & FANCY CHEESES Game Meat Sticks * Game Jerky Liquor * Fine Wines Fresh Baked Goods T-Shirts & Souvenirs Gift Boxes Cheese & Meat Trays Made to Order “If California can’t solve the energy crisis, it will spread to the rest of the nation, and the economy will collapse, and we will become a primitive society where we all run around naked with spears and refuse to attend meetings. Wouldn’t that be GREAT?” – Dave Barry Mail Orders OPEN 7 DAYS A WEEK Some race horses staying in a stable. One of them starts to boast about his track record. “In the last 15 races, I’ve won 8 of them!” Another horse breaks in, “Well in the last 27 races, I’ve won 19!!” “Oh that’s good, but in the last 36 races, I’ve won 28!”, says another, flicking his tail. “Your Key to a Safe Driver!” Serving Alpena, Alcona, Presque isle & Montmorency Counties SEGMEnT 1 CLASSES STArTinG May 1 • June 6 • July 9 & 10 • August 6 SEGMEnT 2 CLASSES STArTinG May 31 • July 9 • August 6 See Complete Schedules OnLine and register Today! alpenadrivingschool.com 2211 u.S. 23 South, Alpena, Mi 49707 M-13, PINCONNING Order Online www.wilsoncheese.com Alpena Driving School Bill had won a toy at a raffle. He called his kids together to ask which one should have the present. “Who is the most obedient?” he asked. “Who never talks back to mother? Who does everything she says?” At this point, they notice that a greyhound dog has been sitting there listening. “I don’t mean to boast,” says the greyhound, “but in my last 90 races, I’ve won 88 of them!” Five small voices answered in unison: The horses are clearly amazed. “Wow!” says one, after a hushed silence. “A talking dog.” “Okay, Dad, you get the toy.” 989-340-1004 Clip & Save - $15 OFF Segment 1 I pulled into the crowded parking lot at the local supermarket and rolled down the car windows to make sure my Labrador Retriever pup had fresh air. She was stretched full-out on the back seat and I wanted to impress upon her that she must remain there. I walked to the curb backward, pointing my finger at the car and saying emphatically, “Now you stay. Do you hear me?” “Stay! Stay!” The driver of a nearby car, a pretty blond young lady, gave me a strange look and said, “Why don’t you just put it in park?” 314 N. State Street, Oscoda, MI 48750 www.OscodaSunriserealty.com e-mail: [email protected] Inge Ockey, Broker 989-739-1458 • Alcona • Arenac • Iosco • Ogemaw • Oscoda GOT FLOOD InSUrAnCe reQUIreMenT?? oSCoDA, $249,900 Cedar Lake, 3BR,5BA. LRg Kit. w/ hw flrs. Lrg LR w/ new carpet. Main flr Master, FP, Custm Bar. Steel seawall, auto. Sprklr,20’ of dock, home warranty. # 080-12-0013 oSCoDA, $65,000 3BR,1BA Home nicely maintained close to town and Lake Huron Beaches on 1 acre. #080-12-0008 oSCoDA, $219,900 AuSable River Frt. 3BR,3BA Remod. Kit, Main flr Master,HWBB heat,energy saving insul. Steel Sea wall, decking and sandy beach area, firepit too! #080-12-0014 VILLAGES of oSCoDA, $56,900 3BR,1.5BA MOVE–IN CONDITION RANCH. #080-12-0016 oSCoDA,$94,900, Lake Huron, 2BR,1BA cottage w/ 2nd cottagebehind in process of remod. Plus 89’ of Lake Huron Frontage across the road! #080-12-0015 oSCoDA, $36,500 1BR,1BA 1Car Garage Condo in town w/ Lake Huron Access. #080-12-0009 In MOST SITUATIOnS, We CAn CerTIFY ThAT YOU’re nOT In The FLOOD ZOne 989-739-0771 or 1-800-739-neLS (6357) Fax 989-739-0772 • [email protected] 24 • The Good Life - may 2012 www.thegoodlifepress.com Bring This Ad for an Additional 10% Off Our Everyday Low Prices alcona Humane Society New Items Weekly 736-peTS Bo Bo Paco 1 yr in age, neutered and has tons of love to give! 1 yr in age, neutered and needs an active family! Callie Holly 5 months old spayed and loves to play! she is the perfect kitten! BODY JeWelRy t Buy One, Ge One 1/2 OFF Equal or Lesser Value 4-5 yrs old Husky, spayed and needs a quiet loving home. She gets along with dogs and cats! please help! – Donations needed for Food, Blankets, Litter, Toys, etc. Long-Lasting AMerICAn AnTLer DOG CheWS no Splintering • 100% natural • Organic Free rAnGe BISOn rAWhIDe CheWS October Hours: Mon-Fri 10-6 • Sat 10-5 • Closed Sunday (989) 724-6830 We were four frugal young teachers. But a couple times a year we treated ourselves to the best Manhattan had to offer. As we approached the famous restaurant Lutece, we questioned whether we were dressed perfectly. Could we pass as urban sophisticates? The maitre d’ met us at the door, all smiles and bows. When he took my raincoat, I began to look over the cozy little bar and anticipate the charming basket of pastry that was our appetizer. Then the maitre d’ returned to our group, gingerly holding a fabric softener sheet that had fallen from my coat sleeve. “Madam,” he said, “Your Bounce.” (989) 354-2194 (800) 929-7106 1. “We named the DOG Indiana.” 2. “Sometimes...dead is better.” Open Tues thru Thur, Noon-8pm • Fri/Sat Noon-10pm • Closed Sun/Mon COMING SOON: Fri/Sat Outdoor Market Covered & uncovered Spaces Available - Interested Parties Call for details & Rates “Hello, is this the Sheriff’s Office?” 3. “I guess if it wasn’t for Sam, I’d have missed it, whatever it is. I’d have been one of them amity types that thinks that playin’ bridge is about the best thing that life has to offer.” 4. “We are all here to do what we are all here to do.” 5. “Was it like one of those Sara Lee, um, moon-shaped cookies? Those crescent cookies?” 6. “But his tires were bald and they went flat - so did our love and that was that.” “Yes. What can I do for you?” “I’m calling to report ‘bout my neighbor Virgil Smith. He’s hidin’ marijuana inside his firewood! Don’t quite know how he gets it inside them logs, but he’s hidin’ it there.” “Thank you very much for the call, sir.” The next day, the Sheriff’s Deputies descend on Virgil’s house. They search the shed where the firewood is kept Using axes, they bust open every piece of wood, but find no marijuana. They sneer at Virgil and leave. Shortly, the phone rings at Virgil’s house. “Hey, Virgil! This here’s Floyd. Did the Sheriff come?” “Yeah!” “Did they chop your firewood?” 150 E. Chisholm Street at uS-23 Alpena, Michigan 49707 WEB: www.uCome1st.com E-MAIL: [email protected] This country home features 5 bedrooms, one bath, large dining room and a spacious kitchen with lots of cupboards. The original portion of the house has a full basement and the addition has a crawl space with access from the basement. Needs TLC and is being sold in ‘’AS IS CONDITION’’! $36,500 MLS# 277095 “Happy Birthday, buddy!” Call Barb Skaluba Office: (989) 354-2194 Home: (989) 595-6997 Great 4 bedroom, 1 bath home in a very quiet country setting on an extra large lot (196 X 250). There’s a 19X22 attached garage and a 12 X 20 deck. The 10X12 shed was built in 2010. The fireplace has not been used for a long time and is considered inoperative. $57,000 MLS# 278202 Call John Precord at 989-464-0114. Great starter or retirement home. This 2 BR, 1 bath house needs some TLC. There is a guest cabin 18X13 for summer use only because there is no heat or plumbing. There are 2 out buildings: a 4X6 wood shed and 12X12 storage unit. $42,900 MLS# 269231 Ranch style house: 1800 sqft, 4 bedrooms, 1 bath with fireplace in the dining room. The partially finished full basement has a large family room. Exterior: Abitibi siding. 4X18 ft finished breezeway between garage and house. Being sold in ‘’AS IS’’ condition! $68,900 MLS# 276907 “Yep!” hUBBARD LAKE MARINE n w o t e HomREALTY New Listing “a lil sumthin 4 everyone” 100’s of Brand New Items A Great Selection of New Home Décor and Various Merchandise at Discounted Prices Powdered Incense & Burners • Candles • Fountains & More 5684 F-41, Oscoda (Across from W.A.B. Main Gate) (734) 307-9310 Cell • (989) 569-3098 Office Answers on page 54 Volunteer Time at the Shelter! 1 or 2 Hours a week will help immensely! Please call us at 736-PETS for more information. Shawneez Stuff Priced to sell is this farm house with 3 BR 1.5 baths, full basement with family room situated on approx. 60 acres. 200 amp service, newer furnace, water heater plus a covered 27X60 corral for horses and a 33X60 barn (sizes are approximate.) 75% open and 25% wooded for hunting. Being sold ‘’as is’’! $149,900 MLS# 275982 Manitou 20 Oasis Standard VP The V-Toon gives you the Best of Both Worlds handles Like a Boat, Seating for the Whole family, Powerful Enough to Pull Multiple Skiers Great location with frontage on Ripley Blvd and includes a 66X132 lot on Clinton Street. Would make a great business location. Building has approximately 1731 sqft on main level, a full walkout basement, 2 fireplaces plus much more. $89,900 MLS# 271104 Manitou 25 SES VP LOCATED ON ThE WEST ShORE Of hUBBARD LAKE Ranch style house with a full basement. Features 2-3 bedrooms, 100 amp service, fireplace in the living room and full bath plus an additional toilet in the laundry area of the basement. Newer Weil- Great location near Ella White School - needs TLC. Features 3 bedroom, 1 McLain boiler, a 15X25 attached 1 car garage and a fenced yard. bath, attached garage and full basement. 150 amp service plus newer furnace Need some TLC! $49,500 MLS# 277542 & water heater. $35,900 MLS# 275479 6068 Mt Maria rD Hubbard Lake, MI. 49747 (989) 727-2286 Featuring The Good Life - may 2012 • 25 find “the good life press” on facebook At a business conference in Montpelier, Vermont, the state tax commissioner asked the audience which sort of taxation they found fairest. There was a pause, and then a white-haired man in the back raised his hand. “The poll tax,” he said. Professional • Rolls open in seconds Installation of • Lifetime Warranty Stripes & Graphics • Increases gas mileage • Keeps box free of leaves and snow • Free installation thru May with mention of this ad “But the poll tax was repealed,” replied the commissioner. See This and Many More Aftermarket Truck Accessories “Ay-yuh,” declared the man, “that’s what I like about it.” Letters of Recommendation For an employee who is not worth further consideration as a job candidate: “I would urge you to waste no time in making this candidate an offer of employment.” “All in all, I cannot say enough good things about this candidate or recommend him too highly.” Sherni’s Candies home of the Chocolate Covered potato Chip and now Bugles! party Trays Available For the office drunk: “I feel his real talent is wasted here.” “We generally found him loaded with work to do.” For an employee who is so unproductive that the job is better left unfilled: “I can assure you that no person would be better for the job.” Hasty Manufacturing, Inc. Sherni’s Candies Also Available at Brian’s Fruit Market, West Branch Nester Creek, Prescott Crossroads, Whittemore For the chronically absent: “A man like him is hard to find.” “It seemed his career was just taking off.” For an employee with no ambition: “He could not care less about the number of hours he had to put in.” “You would indeed be fortunate to get this person to work for you.” “He consistently achieves the standards he sets for himself.” nOW In OUr 32nd YeAr In BUSIneSS! no Order Too Big or Too Small The devout cowboy lost his favorite Bible while he was mending fences out on the range. Three weeks later, a cow walked up to him carrying the Bible in its mouth. The cowboy couldn’t believe his eyes. He took the precious book out of the cow’s mouth, raised his eyes heavenward and exclaimed, “It’s a miracle!” “Not really,” said the cow. “Your name is written inside the cover.” MADe here FreSh DAILY: Real Chocolate Milk-Dark-White Butter Crunch • Fudge Peanut Brittle • Roasted Nuts Chocolate Covered Cashews Old Fashioned Sea Foam Maple Walnut Cremes Chocolate-Covered Peanut Butter Pretzels Truffles and More... oPEN 9 A.M. to 5 P.M. DAILY CLoSED tUESDAYS 35 North M65, at M55 Whittemore, Michigan 48770 989-756-3691 Keith, Sherry, and Brad Hasty Bubba and Bobby Joe rented a boat and fished in a lake every day. One day they caught 30 fish. Bubba said to Bobby Joe, “Mark this here spot so that we can come back right here again tomorrow.” The next day, when they were driving to rent the boat, the Bubba asked Bobby Joe, “Bobby Joe, did you mark that there spot like ah tole ya?” His friend replied, “Shore nuff, I put a big ole ‘X’ on the bottom of the boat.” “You stupid fool! Now, what we gonna do if we don’t get that same boat today?!” 335 South State Street • Oscoda, MI 48750 Website: statewideoscoda.com Here are a few of our listings. We invite you to call, come in or visit us on the web for more on these or other properties. LOVELY HOME with vaulted ceilings and open floor plan on gorgeous 10 acre property. Located 5 minutes from town yet out of the way of neighbors and congestion. Best of both worlds. Nicely done kitchen and 2 baths with 2 walk-in closets and finished attached garage for her and huge garage/ workshop for him. Lovely view of forest from deck that spans whole length of home. Exterior woodburner(you don’t have the mess that way) but heats home nicely when you don’t want to use your furnace. upstairs loft area has additional storage space. Contact listing agent for more details. $199,900 # 081-12-0005GL ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ORDER AND SHIP EARLY FOR MOTHER’S DAY DELIVERY! Bubba & Bobby Joe (989) 739-2050 • 800-968-4408 OF OSCODA New Spring Chocolate Baskets Plus Chocolate roses, Chocolated-filled Hearts, Chocolate-covered raspberries & More! Kim Loveland Ron Mathison Kristin Sak Steve DuBree Randy Robinson Jeff Layman Rose Kuhlman GREAT LAKE HURON COTTAGE with lots of room to roam. Cathedral ceiling in open floor plan with living, dining and kitchen all GORGEOUS CONDO with 2 master suites, 1 on 1st floor. 3 1/2 open to each other. Great fireplace floor to ceiling. ready to move in baths for all your guests needs. priced to sell. Absolutely must and vacation on the sugar sand beach to your hearts desire. Additional see. $69,900 # 081-12-0010GL home coming available soon as well for those large familes that want to stay close. $185,000 # 081-12-0008GL WATERFRONT GETAWAY on the Mighty AuSable river/Lake Huron. Many amenities including boat launch, club house with gameroom/ laundry facilities/showers, fish cleaning station, Lake Huron Sugar OPEN FLOOR PLAN, wood flooring throughout living/dining/kitchen, Sand beach. Includes a boat slip on the river in front of unit. Boating/ screened porch, 10 acres and a 30 X 40 pole barn to boot. Many perennials for the flower lover and lots of land and barn for the sports enthusiast. fishing/swimming, it’s up to you!!! Great spot to watch fireworks. $65,900 # 081-12-0009GL $89,900 # 081-12-0007GL ABSOLUTELY BEAUTIFUL 10 ACRE PARCEL. Great wooded area feels like way out in the boonies but only 5 minutes from town, best of both worlds. Split rail fence and driveway are in. Would make a gorgeous building site or just use for hunting purposes. $31,000 # 081-11-0013GL 26 • The Good Life - may 2012 www.thegoodlifepress.com Splendid Things • Hubbard Lake Coffee, including our signature blend, Lucy Moosey, only available here! NEW ITEMS! Visit us at our web site: • McCall’s Candles - New Scents • Up-North Home Décor • A Little Christmas Year ‘Round New Inventory Arriving Daily www.moosetalesgifts.com May Hours: Open Tues through Fri 10-5:30 Sat 11-3 • Closed Sun & Mon 989-724-7555 108 N. State St • Box 98 • Harrisville, MI 48740 email: [email protected] Oh crap, is there anyway to put the pin back in the grenade? I NEED AN ANSWER FAST! KELVIN “Service is Our Bag” Commercial & Residential 989-471-2938 dumpsters • polycarts roll-off containers The human brain starts working the moment you are born and never stops until you stand up to speak in public. Located within Harrisville Holistic Center: 200 N. State St, Harrisville PUBLIC WELCOME May 22nd, 2012 Certifcations and Renewals, Appointments filling fast Weekly Meetings - Tuesdays, 2-5pm CALL BETHANY 989-278-9129 www. nemicc.com NE. Michigan Medical Marijuana Compassion Club A bird in the hand makes it hard to blow your nose. Northern Truck & Auto Repair 4262 River Road Oscoda, MI 48750 (989) 739-4382 Fax: (989) 739-3849 Little Johnny was being questioned by the teacher during an arithmetic lesson. ‘If you had ten dollars,’ said the teacher, ‘and I asked you for a loan of eight dollars, how much would you have left?’ ‘Ten,’ said Little Johnny firmly. TRUCK AND AUTO ACCESSORIES Loaner Cars – Free Estimates 1212 U.S. 23 North, Alpena (989) 354-5577 Great Finds • Great Prices NEW & USED ITEMS: You Won’t Be Able to Tell the Difference! Prices That Keep You Coming Back! Our Furniture Is Professionally Cleaned Before We Place It in the Store Open Tuesday thru Saturday 10am to 5pm ‘Ten?’ the teacher said ‘How do you make it ten?’ 11904 US‑23 • Ossineke, MI 989-657-0363 ‘Well,’ replied Little Johnny ‘You may ask for a loan of eight dollars, but that doesn’t mean you’ll get it!’ the Good life Press Dog at the Cinema A man went to the cinema. As he sat down to watch the film and his eyes got accustomed to the dark, he noticed a dog sitting on the seat beside him. He was somewhat bemused but decided to try and ignore the dog. As the film progressed he noticed that the dog was reacting appropriately to the scenes. For laughter the dog wagged his tail and barked, for sadness he dropped his ears and whimpered, for violence he growled and bared his teeth. At the end of the film the audience applauded and the dog got up on all paws and barked and wagged his tail. The man turned to another who appeared to be the dog’s owner and said, “Wow, that was a great film, and what an intelligent dog you have there. Frankly, I’m amazed.” “So am I,” replied the owner. “He thought the book was terrible.” Larry’s Collision Unique Things Places I’d Rather Not Live - Paradox, New York - Crapo, Maryland - Boogertown, North Carolina - Spasticville, Kansas - Hellhole, Idaho - Purgatory, Maine - Girdletree, Maryland - Rabbithash, Kentucky Difficulty: Medium 6x6 (5) Sudoku 6x6 - Puzzle 5 of 5 - Medium Solution at the back of the paper 6 4 1 1 5 5 3 1 4 2 www.sudoku-puzzles.net Computer novices may feel like they’re alone these days, but the following call to IBM’s help center show there are plenty of people out there who still are inching onto the information superhighway. After a caller gave a technician her PC’s serial number, he scanned a database of registered users and responded, “I see you have an Aptiva” desktop unit. Before he could say another word, the caller shrieked and said she’d be right back. When the customer returned, the technician asked if she was all right. The caller responded: “Had I realized you could see me, I never would have telephoned in my bathrobe.” “Of course I’ll come by your house to check on you.” “Give me a call at home over the weekend if you’re not feeling better.” “Sure, come on by this afternoon, we’ll work you in.” “I’ll call ahead and let them know the most you will pay for that test.” “Here, take these samples.” “Don’t worry about it, there’s no charge for that.” “I recommend you get a second opinion.” The Good Life - may 2012 • 27 Snack Bar & Liquor Bar on Boat River Queen of Oscoda, Inc. Six Miles West of Oscoda on River Road Two-Hour Round Trip on the Beautiful AuSable River The ONLY Paddlewheel River Boat of its Kind in the North Only $12 Adult, $6 Children, $10 Senior Citizen 62+ May 26 - May 27: Noon & 3p.m • May 28 - June 22: Noon • June 23 - Aug. 25: Noon & 3p.m. Group Rates and Private Charter Trips Available for 6pm Cruises P.O. Box 249, Hale, MI 48739 (989) 739-7351 (10am-5pm daily) (989) 728-3131 (6pm-9pm) OR (989) 728-6558 (6pm-9pm) Visit Us at: www.ausableriverqueen.net [email protected] FAX: (989) 739-2397 Ever have one of those days where you feel like you should have skipped the coffee and went straight to the cocktails? find “the good life press” on facebook HOMES OF ALPENA, INC. NEW CONSTRUCTION LOANS Didn’t think you could get a construction loan? Think again! Interest rates are low and at Premier Home Mortgage, our goal is to help you build your new home – Today! • Down Payment as Low as 3-5% • Gifts or land equity allowed for down payment • No payments during construction • Credit score as low as 620 accepted • Free pre-approval in 48 hours • One time approval - no additional documentation Premier Home Mortgage Apply online: www.premierspg.com Apply by phone: 855-538-8800 NMls 162291 In George Washington’s time, common entertainment included playing cards. However, there was a tax levied when purchasing playing cards but only applicable to the “Ace of Spades.” To avoid paying the tax, people would purchase 51 cards instead. Someone sent me a postcard picture of the earth. On the back it said, “Wish you were here.” – Steven Wright Yet, since most games require 52 cards, these people were thought to be stupid or dumb because they weren’t “playing with a full deck.” “The computerized cash register is down. I’ll just add up your purchases with a pencil and paper.” “I’ll take a break after I finish waiting on these customers.” “We’re sorry we sold you defective merchandise. We’ll pick it up at your home and bring you a new one or give you a complete refund, whichever you prefer.” ABC Homes – teena Holmes Phone: 989-356-2621 e-mail: [email protected] Online: www.abchomesalpena.com When I was 5 my mom told me “happiness” was the key to life. When I went to school they asked me what I wanted to be when I grow up. I wrote down “happy.” Later they told me I don’t understand the assignment but I told them they didn’t understand life. There are three kinds of people. Those who make things happen, those who watch things happen, and those who wonder what the heck did happen. I told my boyfriend that he needed to get some common sense... Last night, I was on my computer and saw this in the Google history: “How to install common sense?” PrnDL Transmission Service and Auto repair 4521 E. County Line rd. Hale, Mi 48739 989-257-2005 40 S. M-65 Whittemore, Mi 48770 989-756-2029 & 2039 28 • The Good Life - may 2012 www.thegoodlifepress.com Maples Colorado Blue Spruce Evergreen Trees Available: Colorado Blue Spruce 5’,6’,7’,8’ Norway Spruce 5’,6’,7’,8’ Eastern White Spruce 5’,6’ Serbian Spruce 5’ Eastern White Pine - Natural 6’,7’,8’ Concolor Fir 5’,6’,7’,8’ Delivery & Installation available Call for Prices Wholesale/Retail State-inspected Chet’ Cell: 989-724-5510 Bob’s Cell: 989-329-9051 Eastern White Spruce Specializing in B&B Nursery Stock evergreens and shade trees. A wide variety of zone-hardy fruit trees. Also specializing in food plot apple trees. U-pick strawberries and raspberries in season. Also available at Downtown Detroit’s Famous Eastern Market through Memorial Day Weekend – Call for Details! Norway Spruce 4700 E. Sucker Creek Rd. Black River, MI 989-724-5510 Shade – Ornamental – Fruit Trees Maples: Crimson King Red Sunset Brandywine Fairview Flame Cleveland Pear Apples: Cherry: Honeycrisp Hudson, sweet dark MacintoshUlster, sweet dark Gala Balaton Northern Spy Blushing Gold Fugi Plum Blondee Black Amber CortlandStanley Paula Reds Pear: Empire Bartlett Manchurian Crab Bosc Peach:Canadian Harmony [email protected] Huron View Tree & Berry Farm on Facebook You can’t change the past, but you can ruin the present by worrying over the future. A Classic Ride 1979 Yamaha DOHC 750. 3-Cylinder w/ Vetter Windjammer. Black w/ pinstripes. 48k Miles. Garage-kept. Fully-dressed, new brakes & tires Cleveland Pear Call Ted 989-724-7830 $2,895 Score One for the Blonde A blonde, while pulling into a parking spot, hit another car that had just parked, denting its fender. The three bears had been having some trouble recently and had ended up in family court. Mama and Papa bear were splitting up, and baby bear had to decide who he was going to live with. So, the judge wanted to talk to baby bear to see what he thought about living with either of his parents. When he asked baby bear about living with his father, baby bear said “No, I can’t live with Papa bear, he beats me terribly.” “OK,” said the judge, “then you want to live with your mother, right?” “No way!” replied baby bear, “She beats me worse than Papa bear does.” The judge was a bit confused by this, and didn’t quite know what to do. “Well, you have to live with someone, so is there any relatives you would like to stay with?” asked the judge. “Yes,” answered baby bear, “my aunt Bertha bear who lives in Chicago.” The man got out of the car. He was a dwarf. “I’m not happy,” he said. “You’re sure she will treat you well and won’t beat you?” asked the judge. The blonde replied, “Which one are you then?” “Oh definitely,” said baby bear, “the Chicago Bears don’t beat anybody.” Listen to all the exciting, racing action on your “Power Station for Sports”! f o e c i o V The ! R A C S A N The Good Life - may 2012 • 29 find “the good life press” on facebook THE GOOD LIFE - SECTION 2 Tobacco & Cigar Shoppe New Spring Inventory STOP BY AND SEE! www.HolySmokesCigar.com 989-362-2332 COUPON - 10% Off All In-Stock Merchandise at Holy Smokes Holy Smokes, East Tawas – Good through 5/31/12 Great Selection of Zippo Lighters in Stock 718 E. Bay (US-23), East Tawas • Inside Bay Party Store Poor Bessie An old farmer named Clyde had a car accident. In court, the trucking company’s fancy lawyer was questioning Clyde. “Didn’t you say at the scene of the accident, ‘I’m fine,’?” asked the lawyer. I wanted to start eating healthy and grow my own food, but I couldn’t find any Twinkie seeds... Clyde responded, “Well, I’ll tell you what happened. I had just loaded my favorite mule, Bessie, into the......” “I didn’t ask for any details,” the lawyer interrupted. “Just answer the question. Did you not say, at the scene of the accident, “I’m fine!’?” Clyde said, “Well, I had just got Bessie into the trailer and was driving down the road....” The lawyer interrupted again and said, “Judge, I am trying to establish the fact that at the scene of the accident, this man told the Highway Patrolman on the scene that he was just fine. Now several weeks after the accident he is trying to sue my client. I believe he is a fraud. Please tell him to simply answer the question.” TGL Don’t Miss the 20th annual Shoreline arts & Crafts Show May 26 & 27, 2012 tawas city park, tawas city For more information, Visit www.tawas.com or Call 1-800-55-TAWAS A husband stepped on one of those penny scales that tell you your fortune and weight and dropped in a coin. “Listen to this,” he said to his wife, showing her a small, white card. “It says I’m energetic, bright, resourceful and a great lover.” “Yeah,” his wife nodded, “and it has your weight wrong, too.” By this time, the Judge was fairly interested in Clyde’s answer and said to the lawyer, “I’d like to hear what he has to say about his favorite mule, Bessie.” “I went to the hardware store and bought some used paint. It was in the shape of a house.” – Steven Wright NEW LOCATION! Healthy Harvest Garden Supply Center 223 State St., Oscoda (South of the AuSable Inn) 989-569-3006 Mon-Fri 10-6 • Sat 10-3 • Closed Sun [email protected] *hydroponic Systems *fox farm Nutrients *Raptor Mega Reflectors *Ladybugs *CO2 Regulators and Bottle Exchange We’ll Custom Build Your Indoor garden Delivery and Special Orders Available Clyde thanked the Judge and proceeded, “Well... as I was sayin’, I had just loaded Bessie, my favorite mule, into the trailer and was drivin’ her down the highway when this huge semi ran the stop sign and smacked my truck right in the side. I was thrown into one ditch and Bessie was thrown into the other. I was hurtin’ real bad and didn’t want to move. However, I could hear ole Bessie moanin’ and groanin’. I knew she was in terrible shape just by her groans. “Real soon a Highway Patrolman came on the scene. He could hear Bessie moanin’ and groanin’, too. So, he went over to her. After he looked at her, he took out his gun and shot her between the eyes. Then the Patrolman came across the road, gun in hand, looked at me, and said, ‘How are YOU feeling?’ “Now what the heck would you say?” “whyyyy soooo serioussss....?” I once pondered why a baseball was coming at me so fast, then it hit me. Dry Dock Mobile Marine & RV Repair 20-Year Certified Marine Technician SeRVICInG All MAKeS & MOdelS dIeSel And GAS • JeT SKI SeRVICe Full Service Including Gel-Coat and Paint Pickup & Delivery to All Local Lakes & Harbors SPRING PREP SPECIALS Full Inspection Including Oil Change Emergency harbor Service Available InSuRAnCe WORK WelCOMe! 989-305-5655 30 • The Good Life - may 2012 www.thegoodlifepress.com dean arbour Aquarium: interactive television for cats. Cataclysm: any great upheaval in a cat’s life. UP TO CHEVY RUNS DEEP Catatonic: a feline medicinal drink. $ THE NEW STANDARD OF THE WORLD Caterpillar: a soft scratching post for a cat. OPEN SATURDAY 8-4 Cat Scan: to look for a new cat. For Your Convenience We Offer Pick-up & Delivery Service! Dog: a cat’s device for running practice. Door: something a cat always wants to be on the other side of (989) 362-3403 Errand Boy Freddie was eighteen years old, friendly, and eager to do things right. Unfortunately, he wasn’t especially bright. He had just started his first job, as a delivery boy and general “go-fer” at a furniture warehouse. His first task was to go out for coffee. hARLEY-DAVIDSON Embossed Tin Signs great for Decorating the Man Cave, the garage, or a game Room! Stop by Emery Enterprises at 144 W. Washington Ave., Alpena Dean Arbour Chevrolet Cadillac 1859 N. US-23 • East Tawas www.deanarbourchevy.com (866) GET DEAN Waiting for the perfect man REBATE $100 Rebate: Bridgestone, Continental, Goodyear, Hankook and Pirelli. $50 Rebate: BFGoodrich, Dunlop, Firestone, General and Michelin. This offer cannot be combined with individual tire manufacturer rebates and/or specials. Rebate is issued as a credit card. All rebates must be postmarked no later than 30 days after the end of each rebate period. See dealer for more details. Rebate offer in effect through May 31, 2012 WE SERVICE ALL MAKES AND MoDELS. Ask About GM Price Match Guarantee! 100 00 On Purchase of 4 Eligible Tires He walked into a nearby coffee shop carrying a large thermos. When the counterman finally noticed him, he held up the thermos. “Is this big enough to hold six cups of coffee?” he said. The counterman looked at the thermos, hesitated for a few seconds, then finally said, “Yeah. It looks like about six cups to me.” “Good,” Freddie said. “Give me two regular, two black, and two decaf.” Certified Service Early politicians required feedback from the public to determine what the people considered important. Since there were no telephones, TV’s or radios the politicians sent their assistants to local taverns, pubs, and bars. They were told to “go sip some ale” and listen to people’s conversations and political concerns. Many assistants were dispatched at different times. You go sip here” and “You go sip there.” The two words “go sip” were eventually combined when referring to the local opinion and, thus we have the term “gossip.” Signs You’ve Had Enough of the Modern Age 1. You try to enter your password on the microwave. 2. You haven’t played solitaire with real cards in years. 3. You have a list of 15 phone numbers to reach your family of 4. 4. You e-mail your colleague at the desk next to you to ask if they’re ready to go to lunch. 5. You chat on-line regularly with a stranger from the U.K., but you haven’t spoken to your next-doorneighbor yet this year. 6. Your reason for not staying in touch with friends is that they do not have an e-mail address. 7. Your idea of being organized is multiple colored post-it notes. 8. You hear most of your jokes via e-mail rather than in person. 9. When you go home after a long day at work you still answer the phone in a business manner. 10. When you make phone calls from home you accidentally dial “9” to get an outside line. 11. You now think of three espressos as “getting wasted.” 12. You call your son’s beeper to let him know it’s time to eat. He emails you back from his bedroom, “What’s for dinner?” 13. Your daughter sells Girl Scout Cookies via her web site. 14. You didn’t give your valentine a card this year, but you posted one for your e-mail buddies via a web page. The Good Life - may 2012 • 31 find “the good life press” on facebook Guy: Happy birthday!! Girl: Oh what did you get me? Guy: You see that blue Mercedes Girl: Yesss!!!!! Guy: I got you a toothbrush in that color. Looking for a Place to Have a Party with a Pleasant View? Q: Why don’t blind people skydive? A: It scares the heck out of the dog. Spruce, Michigan has a private park with a beautiful view, with seating for 100 inside a semi-open pavilion. Those first two guys who ever saw Superman...Why the heck were they so excited over a bird or a plane? Rates are according to size and date. Weddings • Graduation Parties • Family Reunions Ample Parking For more information, call Sometimes I pretend that I am normal. But that gets very boring. So I go back to being myself. WORD SEARCH Comedies A man wakes up in a hospital bed after a terrible accident and cries - “DOC, DOC...I can’t feel my legs, I can’t feel my legs!!! “Well of course you can’t silly!” replies the Doc... “I’ve cut off both of your arms.” 3.99 AS LOW AS AIRPLANE ANALYZE THIS ANTZ ARTHUR BANANAS BEST IN SHOW BILLY MADISON BLUES BROTHERS BOWFINGER BULWORTH CADDYSHACK DAVE DUCK SOUP EMMA FARGO GET SMART GROUNDHOG DAY HAPPY GILMORE HOME ALONE HORSE FEATHERS ICE AGE JUNO KINGPIN LIFE OF BRIAN MASH OFFICE SPACE PARENTHOOD PATCH ADAMS POLICE ACADEMY RAISING ARIZONA RATATOUILLE REAL GENIUS ROXANNE RUTHLESS PEOPLE SABRINA SPLASH STIR CRAZY STRIPES THE JERK THE PINK PANTHER THE TRAMP TOMMY BOY TOOTSIE WAYNES WORLD WORKING GIRL 989-471-8466 APR FOR 36 MONTHS FOR QUALIFIED BUYERS* You’ll Love This Place! 700 %+$ (989) 356-4141 or 1-800-968-1976 3137 US. 23 South, Alpena MI 49707 Open 9-6 Mon-Fri • 9-4 Sat UP TO CUSTOMER CASH ON SELECT MODELS** Consumer Event oPEN HoUSE Wednesday, May 16, 2012 Yamaha Giveaways FREE Pop & Pizza for Lunch! *Finance offer subject to credit approval, applies to purchases of new Yamaha Motorcycles, ATVs & Scooters made on a Yamaha Installment Financing loan account from 10/1/11-12/31/11. Minimum contract length is 24 months andsubject maximum lengthapproval, is 36 months. Minimum amountoffinanced is $5,000. 3.99% or 12.99% willFinancing be assigned on credit approval criteria.Minimum Monthly payments per $1,000 financedmaximum based on 36 *Finance offer to credit applies to purchases new Yamaha ATVs Fixed madeAPR on aofYamaha Installment loanbased account from 1/1/12-6/30/12. contract length 24 months, month term are $29.52 at 3.99% and $5,000. $33.69 atFixed 12.99%. Cash offer on selectwill 2011 prior based year) models between 10/1/11-12/31/11. good only in the financed U.S., excluding state ofterm Hawaii. months. Minimum amount financed APR **Customer of 3.99%, 4.99%, 5.99%good or 12.99% be (and assigned on credit approval criteria. MonthlyOffer payments per $1,000 based onthe 36-month are Dress properly for$29.97 your ride a helmet, protection, long-sleeved shirt,**Customer long pants, Cash glovesoffer and good boots.onDoselect not drink is illegal and between dangerous. Yamaha and theOffer Motorcycle SafetyinFoundation encourage $29.52 at 3.99%, at with 4.99%, $30.42eye at 5.99% and $33.69 at 12.99%. 2011and (andride. priorIt year) models 1/1/12 - 6/30/12. good only the U.S., excluding you to ride of safely and respect theengine environment. For further regarding theonly MSFbycourse, ATVsrecommends with engine that sizesall overATV90cc are take recommended for training use onlycourse. by ridersForagesafety 16 years the state Hawaii. ATVs with sizes over 90cc areinformation recommended for use riders please age 16 call years1-800-446-9227. and older. Yamaha riders an approved and and older.information, Yamaha recommends that allor ATV take an approved course. 2887. For safety information, see your or callAlways the ATVavoid Safetypaved Institute at 1-800-887ATVs can be hazardous to training see your dealer callriders the ATV Safety Institutetraining at 1-800-887ATVsand cantraining be hazardous to operate. Fordealer your safety: surfaces. Never ride2887. on public roads. Always wear operate. safety: Always avoid paved surfaces. Never ridepassengers; on public roads. a helmet, eyeriding protection and protectivedon’t clothing; passengers; in stuntcareful riding; on riding and alcohol/ a helmet,Foreyeyour protection and protective clothing; never carry neverAlways engagewear in stunt riding; and alcohol/drugs mix;never avoidcarry excessive speed;never and beengage particularly difficult terrain. drugs don’t mix; avoid excessive speed; and be particularly careful©2012 on difficult terrain. Professional riders on closed courses. ©2011 Yamaha Motor Corp. U.S.A. All rights reserved. • yamaha-motor.com Yamaha Motor Corp. U.S.A. All depicted rights reserved. • yamaha-motor.com 32 • The Good Life - may 2012 www.thegoodlifepress.com See the New Colors and Styles of Walls, Steps and Patio Paving Products! 5251 N. US-23, Oscoda (989) 739-9341 Boat Sales & Service Boat Brokering Pickup & Launch Service consignment SHOP INSIDE 3436 US Hwy 23 Greenbush, MI 48738 Judy & Al Bennett (989) 739-8783 Open Tues-Sat 9-5 For Mother’s Day: A Great Variety of Hanging Baskets Fresh & Silk Flower Arrangements Flowering & Green Plants 5137 US-23 • Oscoda Open Monday thru Saturday (989) 739-7242 320 2nd • Lincoln Open Monday thru Saturday (989) 736-8582 115 Lockwood St. Alpena, MI 49707 Phone 989.354.2166 Fax 989.354.5290 COREY DAHN Store Manager HOURS: Mon. - Fri. 7am to 6pm Sat. 8am to 3pm • Closed Sunday If walking and cycling is that good for your health, the postman should be immortal. Mother’s Day Specials starting May 1st til May 12th A whale swims all day, only eats fish, drinks water, and is still fat. A rabbit runs and hops and only lives 15 years. Sunrise Carpets Direct But a tortoise doesn’t run and does nothing, yet it lives for 450 years. Low Overhead Savings and Everyday Specials And you tell me to exercise?? I don’t think so. (989) 724-5853 Carpet - Vinyl - Laminate Sales and Service Samples in Your Home Get the Price & Service You Deserve When You Call Me, Dave - “The Carpet Man” Buying gifts for men is not nearly as complicated as it is for women. Follow these rules and you should have no problems. Rule #1: When in doubt - buy him a cordless drill. It does not matter if he already has one. I have a friend who owns 17 and he has yet to complain. As a man, you can never have too many cordless drills. No one knows why. Rule #2: If you cannot afford a cordless drill, buy him anything with the word ratchet or socket in it. Men love saying those two words. “Hey George, can I borrow your ratchet?” “OK. By the way, are you through with my 3/8-inch socket yet?” Again, no one knows why. Rule #3: If you are really, really broke, buy him anything for his car. A 99-cent ice scraper, a small bottle of deicer or something to hang from his rear view mirror. Men love gifts for their cars. No one knows why. Rule #4: Do not buy men socks. Do not buy men ties. And never buy men bathrobes. I was told that if God had wanted men to wear bathrobes, he wouldn’t have invented Jockey shorts. Rule #5: You can buy men new remote controls to replace the ones they have worn out. If you have a lot of money buy your man a big-screen TV with the little picture in the corner. Watch him go wild as he flips, and flips, and flips. 1. When no one else is looking, you swear that the monkeys are mocking you. 2. The Bears exhibit is nothing more than the guys cut from the football team during training camp. 3. The stripes on the zebra tend to peel away in the heat. 4. The Zookeeper always wants to take the Rhino for a walk. 5. The Lion in the lion cage closely resembles the one from The Lion King. 6. The alligator in the Reptiles exhibit is nothing more than the University of Florida’s Mascot. Rule #6: Do not buy a man any of those fancy liqueurs. If you do, it will sit in a cupboard for 23 years. Real men drink whiskey or beer. Rule #7: Do not buy any man industrial-sized canisters of after shave or deodorant. I’m told men don’t stink - they’re just earthy. Rule #8: Buy men label makers. Almost as good as cordless drills. Within a couple of weeks there will be labels absolutely everywhere. “Socks. Shorts. Cups. Saucers. Door. Lock. Sink.” You get the idea. No one knows why. Rule #9: Never buy a man anything that says “some assembly required” on the box. It will ruin his Special Day and he will always have parts left over. Rule #10: Men enjoy danger. That’s why they never cook - but they will barbecue. Get him a monster barbecue with a 100-pound propane tank. Tell him the gas line leaks. “Oh the thrill! The challenge! Who wants a hamburger?” Rule #11: Tickets to a Red Wing/Lions/Pistons/Tigers game are a smart gift. However, he will not appreciate tickets to “A Retrospective of 19th Century Quilts.” Everyone knows why. 7. If you deposit 50 cents, the giraffe will magically Rule #12: Men love chainsaws. Never, ever, buy a man you love a chainsaw. If you appear and talk to you. 8. Ask the Tour Guide too many questions and you’re suddenly dipped in some sort of sauce and placed in the Tigers den. 9. The Elephant appear to be two guys in a two part Elephant suit. 10. Two words: Hippo Dogs! don’t know why - please refer to Rule #8 and what happens when he gets a label maker. Rule #13: It’s hard to beat a really good wheelbarrow or an aluminum extension ladder. Never buy a real man a step ladder. It must be an extension ladder. No one knows why. Rule #14: Rope. Men love rope. It takes us back to our cowboy origins, or at least the Boy Scouts. Nothing says love like a hundred feet of 3/8” manila rope. No one knows why... The Good Life - may 2012 • 33 find “the good life press” on facebook ROSE MARY MYRICK Broker Million Dollar Club the Good life Press Difficulty: Hard 12x12 (5) Cell 989-820-9174 Solution at the back of the Sudoku 12x12 - Puzzle 5 of 5 -paper Hard 6 2 8 8 6 1 2 5 1 6 9 9 c b 4 5 8 7 3 4 7 6 c b 3 a 2 4 a 4 8 9 3 2 5 5 c 3 Oscoda Realty We Open Doors! www.oscodarealty.com Rental Properties Available – Call for Info! 9 1 5 #3460E:THIS LoVELY MANUFACTURED HoME has been refurbished which includes new carpet, new windows, new paint, new tub,shower & vanity. The hot water tank-2007. 2 full baths! This home is 1 block from Lake Huron, you must put this one on your list of MUST sees! NoW $69,900. owner Will Consider All Reasonable offers! 5 6 1 c 9 www.sudoku-puzzles.net You know you’re over the hill when the only whistles you get are from the tea kettle. A husband asks his wife, “If I should die first would you marry again?” “I would be heart-broken, of course,” was her reply, “but I think eventually I would remarry.” Investment Counselor an investment counselor decided to go out on her own. she was shrewd and diligent, so business kept coming in, and pretty soon she realized that she needed an in-house counsel. the “But you wouldn’t bring him here to our house?” investment banker began to interview young lawyers. “Why not? I’ve worked and slaved to make this house a home. “as I’m sure you can understand,” she started off with one of the first applicants, “in a business There is no reason to abandon it.” like this, our personal integrity must be beyond question.” she leaned forward. “mr. mayberry, “But you wouldn’t sleep in our bed?” are you an honest lawyer?” “Honest?” replied the job prospect. “let me tell you something about honest. Why, I’m so “Well, I wouldn’t run out and buy a new bed right away.” honest that my father lent me $15,000 for my education, and I paid back every penny the minute “Surely, you wouldn’t let him use my golf clubs?” I tried my very first case.” “Of course not! He’s lefthanded!” “Impressive. and what sort of case was that?” asked the investment counselor. the lawyer squirmed in his seat and admitted, “He sued me for the money.” An 80-year-old man goes for a physical. All of his tests come back with normal results. The doctor says “George, everything looks great. How are you doing mentally and emotionally? Are you at peace with God?” George replies, “God and I are tight. He knows I have poor eyesight, so he’s fixed it so that when I get up in the middle of the night to go to the bathroom, poof! The light goes on. When I’m... done, poof! the light goes off.” “Wow, that’s incredible,” the doctor says. A little later in the day, the doctor calls George’s wife. “Ethel,” he says, “George is doing fine! But I had to call you because I’m concerned about a story he told me. Is it true that he gets up during the night and poof! the light goes on in the bathroom, and when he’s done, poof! the light goes off ?” “Oh, for heaven’s sake!” Ethel exclaims. “He’s peeing in the fridge again!” Alpena School of Beauty “The Original Home of Alpena’s $5.00 Hair Cut” Mother’s Day Special $15.00 OFF Manicure or Pedicure Good thru the Month of May 10:00 to 4:00 Mon-fri 9:00 to 1:00 saturday (989) 354-7766 1036 US-23 N., Alpena Closing all of your Facebook tabs before your boss gets there is like trying to put your keys in the door before the killer gets you. Len & Layne’s Little Store & Side Door Bait & Tackle Live Bait & Tackle All DNR Licenses • Groceries Deli Meats & Cheeses • Spirits • Lotto At the south end of Hubbard Lake 3585 Woodlawn • Spruce, MI 48762 989-736-6418 • [email protected] If you’ve never jumped from one couch to the other to avoid the lava you’ve never had a childhood. Baker’s Hilltop Pontoon Redecking Pontoon Customizing Pontoon Hauling Shrink-wrap & Storage Recreational Consignment Sales Pontoon Specialists MARINE SERVICES Steve & Shellie Baker 4632 North M-65 Hale, MI 48739 [email protected] 989-728-3665 34 • The Good Life - may 2012 www.thegoodlifepress.com Glennie Real Estate 3240 State St., Glennie, MI 48737 MUSHROOM SEASON! Toll-Free: 1-877-651-0402 • (989) 735-3716 Email: [email protected] • RMLS www.realestate-mls.com Ask for: Geri-Mac-Chanda-Paula or Lori Information believed to be accurate, but not warranted. 11 AC.-HoME & PoLE BARN: Outstanding 2002, 3 bed, 2 GLENNIE LAKEFRoNT: Remodeled ranch home, fireplace and garage with 60’ of waterfront on the All sports Vaughn bath mobile home and 30x40 pole barn on 11 acres. Lake . Wow! # 2255- $ 129,900. # 2197- $ 48,000. HoT BUY THIS MoNTH: 84 Ac., Ranch home with walk out basement & pole barn. Joins Federal land and “WILDLIFE HEAVEN”! # 2340- $ 150,000. LAKE ACCESS HoME: Year around home with fireplace, shed and within walking distance to the All sports “ North Lake ”- Glennie. #2341 $ 43,900. HUNTERS PARADISE: 77 Ac., joins Federal land, all utilities, Mobile home & small creek the flows through the property! Must see! #2349-$ 165,000. YEAR ARoUND & NICE: 7.2 wooded acres, outstanding 2 bedroom, highly maintained mobile home and 2 car garage. Just perfect! #2359-$ 54,900. PRICED To SELL FAST: 10 wooded acres, lake access, garage/pole barn & all utilities. Mobile need some TLC., but great location. #2368- $ 39,900. CABIN GETAWAY: An adorable cabin, all utilities, storage shed and all on 2.84 ac. In Glennie. Near Fed. Land. Perfect getaway. #2371- $ 49,000 NEAR THE AUSABLE RIVER: Two bedroom home and attached garage in Curtisville. Near Federal land & the AuSable River . Why camp? #2375-$ 42,000. ADoRABLE CABIN: Two bedroom cabin with all utilities and two car garage. Sits on 3 wooded lots in the Hunters Lake Sub. #2377- $42,000. CoMMERCIAL BLDG: 2000 sq. ft commercial bldg, currently used as an auto repair in Hale, on the busy M65. Natural gas & city sewer. $ 30,000. HoUSE & 3 CABINS: Prime location in “Sid Town”, Updated FARM & PKG. DEAL: 42 Ac. Rolling pasture, swamp year around home + 3 rental cabins, garage and Newer & woods. Mobile home, garage, pole barn, pond & BARN. Pellet Stove! #2388- $ 92,000. Nice-Glennie area #2389-$ 135,000. REDUCED To SELL FAST: 1991 Mfg., 3 bedroom, 2 bath home, 2.88 ac., just East of Glennie. All utilities & priced under the assessed. #2390-$ 30,000. MIKADo CoMMERCIAL BLDG: Prior “The Store”, 28x58 bldg. All utilities. Located on the busy F41. Great investment. Bring your ideas here! #2392- $ 49,900. COMING SOON RETIREMENT “BEAUTY”: 23 Ac.,joins Federal and the outstanding 1994 Mfg. home, garage, shed & pole barn. Superior location-Glennie- #2395-$100,000. CoUNTRY LIVING!! 2 open acres, few trees and this 3 bedroom, 2 bath, home and pole barn, located in Curran. Motivated seller! #2396- $ 45,000. ToTALLY REMoDELED: Like a new home. 3 bedroom, 2 car garage & shed. All utilities & wood insert/fireplace. Absolutely Beautiful! #2397- $ 64,900. Two blondes were going to Disneyland. They were driving on the Interstate when they saw the sign that said, “Disneyland LEFT.” They started crying and turned around and went home. Polka Praise Service Saturday, May 19th at 5:00 pm Musical Accompaniment provided by Norm Siess Fellowship Afterwards St. Matthew Lutheran Church 7109 Wolf Creek Rd., Herron For more information, call 989-727-2769 Announcer: You’ve been married for 50 years? Do you have any tips for the ones to be married next. Old guy: It helps if you’re deaf. FUTURE BED N BREAKFAST? Downtown Glennie, Historical six bedroom home, 2 baths, garage & sheds. Definitely a must see immediately! #2400-$ 59,900. 40 Ac. with Federal on 4 Sides. Creek and 2 cabins prime location! & Home/Garage on the AllSports North Lake in Glennie LISTINGS ARRIVING DAILY! Invitation Replies to a Scientists Ball Ampere was worried he wasn’t current. Audubon said he’d have to wing it. Boyle said he was under too much pressure. Darwin waited to see what evolved. Descartes said he’d think about it. Dr. Jekyll declined -- he hadn’t been feeling himself lately. Edison thought it would be illuminating. Einstein thought it would be relatively easy to attend. Gauss was asked to attend because of his magnetic personality. Hawking tried to string enough time together to make space in his schedule. Heisenberg was uncertain that he could make it. Hertz said in the future he planned to attend with greater frequency. Mendel said he’d put some things together and see what came out. Morse’s reply: “I’ll be there on the dot. Can’t stop now, must dash.” Newton planned to drop in. Ohm resisted the idea. Pavlov was drooling at the thought. Pierre and Marie Curie were radiating enthusiasm. Schrodinger had to take his cat to the vet, or did he? Stephenson thought the whole idea was loco. Volta was electrified, and Archemedes buoyant at the thought. Watt reckoned it would be a good way to let off steam. Wilbur Wright accepted, provided he and Orwell could get a flight. Over 75 Pre-Owned Vehicles To Choose From 2010 CHEVY MALIBU find “the good life press” on facebook Spring $ #13478 Selling Fire Wood 8’ Lengths Heat Vouchers Accepted “Loggers need your logs hauled?” Call Mel 989 735 3320 or Becky 989 735 5000 Rules Kids Won’t Learn in School Rule #1. Life is not fair. Get used to it. The average teenager uses the phrase “it’s not fair” 8.6 times a day. You got it from your parents, who said it so often you decided they must be the most idealistic generation ever. When they started hearing it from their own kids, they realized Rule #1. Rule #2. The real world won’t care as much about your self-esteem as your school does. It’ll expect you to accomplish something before you feel good about yourself. This may come as a shock. Usually, when inflated self-esteem meets reality, kids complain that it’s not fair. (See Rule No. 1) Rule #3. Sorry, you won’t make $50,000 a year right out of high school. And you won’t be a vice president or have a car phone either. You may even have to wear a uniform that doesn’t have a Gap label. Rule #4. If you think your teacher is tough, wait ‘til you get a boss. He doesn’t have tenure, so he tends to be a bit edgier. When you screw up, he is not going ask you how feel about it. Rule #5. Flipping burgers is not beneath your dignity. Your grandparents had a different word for burger flipping. They called it opportunity. They weren’t embarrassed making minimum wage either. They would have been embarrassed to sit around talking about Fifty Cent all weekend. Rule #6. It’s not your parents’ fault. If you screw up, you are responsible. This is the flip side of “It’s my life,” and “You’re not the boss of me,” and other eloquent proclamations of your generation. When you turn 18, it’s on your dime. Don’t whine about it or you’ll sound like a baby boomer. Rule #7. Before you were born your parents weren’t as boring as they are now. They got that way paying your bills, cleaning up your room and listening to you tell them how idealistic you are. And by the way, before you save the rain forest from the blood-sucking parasites of your parents’ generation try delousing the closet in your bedroom. Rule #8. Life is not divided into semesters, and you don’t get summers off. Nor even Easter break. They expect you to show up every day. For eight hours. And you don’t get a new life every 10 weeks. It just goes on and on. Rule #9. Television is not real life. Your life is not a sitcom. Your problems will not all be solved in 30 minutes, minus time for commercials. In real life, people actually have to leave the coffee shop to go to jobs. Your friends will not be perky or as polite as Jennifer Aniston. Rule #10. Be nice to nerds. You may end up working for them. We all could. Rule #11. Enjoy this while you can. Sure, parents are a pain, school’s a bother, and life is depressing. But someday you’ll realize how wonderful it was to be kid. Maybe you should start now. 13,995 * 2009 PONTIAC G6 4CYL, AUTO, PW/DL, TILT, CRUISE, REMOTE START LEATHER, HEATED SEATS, FULL POWER, SHARP The Good Life - may 2012 • 35 $ * #13569 2007 CHEVY SILVERADO CREW CAB 4X4, Z71, 5.3L V8, AUTO, TRL. PKG, FULL PWR Over75 75 Pre-Owned Choose Pre-Owned Vehicles From 75 Pre-Owned Vehicles To Choose Choose From *Vehicles $ toTo *From Over Over $ #13299 #13478 #13478 12,995 2010 2010 CHEVY CHEVY MALIBU MALIBU 4CYL, AUTO, PW/DL, TILT, 4CYL, 2010 AUTO,ChEVY PW/DL, TILT, MALIBU CRUISE 2009 BUICK ENCLAVE CXL CRUISE 4C-Cyl, auto, PW/ FWD, LEATHER, HEATED $$ ** DL, REMOTE Tilt, Cruise SEATS, START, 13,995 LOADED $13,995* $ * 29,995 2009 PONTIAC G6 2009 PONTIAC G6 #13607 4CYL, 4CYL, AUTO, AUTO, PW/DL, PW/DL, TILT, TILT, CRUISE, CRUISE, REMOTE REMOTE START START 24,495 #13603 2008 2008 BUICK BUICK LUCERNE LUCERNE CXL CXL LEATHER, HEATED 2008 BUICK LUCERNE CXL LEATHER, HEATED SEATS, SEATS, FULL POWER, SHARP 2006 GMC SIERRA Leather, Heated Seats, SLE FULL POWER, SHARP 2WD, 5.3L V8, AUTO, Full Power, Sharp $$ ** #13379 17,495 $$17,495** 14,995 2007 2007 CHEVY CHEVY SILVERADO SILVERADO CREW CREW CAB CAB TRL PKG 2003 MERCURY $$SILVERADO 1500 ** 12,995 24,495 4.6L V8 auto/Full, Ext. Cab, 5.3L V8 auto, #13299 #13299 #13569 #13569 4X4, 4X4, Z71, Z71, 5.3L 5.3L V8, V8, AUTO, AUTO, TRL. PKG, FULL TRL. PKG, FULL PWR PWR 2009 ChEVY $$gRAND MARQUIS**LS #13603 #13603 Trailer Pkg, HHR 35K mi. ‘07 CHEVY LT ‘03 MERCURY MARQUIS LS 62k miles 4 CYL., AUTO, SUNROOF, LEATHER #13316 ........ $13,995* $8,995* 2006 2009 #13379 2009 BUICK BUICK ENCLAVE ENCLAVE CXL CXL 2006 GMC GMC SIERRA SIERRA SLE SLE #13379 ‘08 BUICK LACROSSE ‘04 PONTIAC GRAND FWD, AM GT LEATHER, HEATED 2WD, 5.3L AUTO, FWD, LEATHER, HEATED 2WD, 5.3L V8, V8, AUTO, CXL V6, LEATHER, SUNROOF #13495 ................... $13,995* V6, AUTO, SUNROOF, FULL PWR #13443 ............ $8,995* SEATS, TRL SEATS, REMOTE REMOTE START, START, TRL PKG PKG $24,995* $8,995* 4.6 V8, FULL PWR., NICE #11366................... ‘02 CHEVY TAHOE LS LOADED LOADED $9,995* ** #13607 #13607 ‘07 PONTIAC GRAND PRIXFWD, Leather, Heated 3.8 V6, AUTO, FULL POWER #13587 ............ $10,495* Seats, Remote Start, 4X4, V8, AUTO, SHARP #13579 2008 ................... BUICK ENCLAVE CXL 29,995 $$ ‘06 BUICK LUCERNE CXS Loaded SUNROOF, LEATHER, LOADED #13516 ........... $12,495* ‘07 CHEVY IMPALA LS $29,995* $12,995* 3.5 V6, FULL POWER #13466 .................... ‘03 ‘03 MERCURY MERCURY MARQUIS MARQUIS LS LS $8,995* $8,995* ‘04 CHEVY SILVERADO EXT CAB 4X4, 5.3L V8, SIERRA TRL. PKG*#13589 $$ 2006 gMC *SLE ................... $14,995* ‘08 CHEVY 2WD, 5.3L V8IMPALA auto, SS V8, AUTO, LEATHER, FULL POWER #13566 ........ $16,495* Trailer. Pkg. 14,995 ‘10 CHRYSLER TOWN & COUNTRY $14,995* ‘09 CHEVY AVALANCHE 4X4 7 PASS., V6, AUTO, FULL POWER #13308 ......... $18,495* Z71, LEATHER, TRL. PKG #13509 .................. $25,995* ‘07 ‘07 CHEVY CHEVY HHR HHR LT LT AUTO, 4.6 Dealer for details. SUNROOF, 4 CYL., CYL., AUTO, SUNROOF, LEATHER LEATHER #13316 #13316 ........ ........ 4.6 V8, V8, FULL FULL PWR., PWR., NICE NICE #11366................... #11366...................* Plus Tax, Title & Doc Fees. 4See ALCONA MOTORS $13,995* $13,995* ‘08 ‘08 BUICK BUICK LACROSSE LACROSSE CXL CXL V6, V6, LEATHER, LEATHER, SUNROOF SUNROOF #13495 #13495................... ................... $13,995* $13,995* V6, AUTO, AUTO, SUNROOF, SUNROOF, FULL FULL PWR PWR #13443 #13443............ ............ $8,995* $8,995* V6, “WHERE YOU’RE TREATED LIKE FAMILY” ‘04 ‘02 DOWNTOWN LINCOLN` ‘04 CHEVY CHEVY SILVERADO SILVERADO EXT EXT CAB CAB ‘02 CHEVY CHEVY TAHOE TAHOE LS LS Open: Mon. - Fri. 8:30 am - 5:30 pm • $9,995* Sat. until 2 pm •4X4, Lincoln (989)TRL. 736-8191 - Toll Free 800-736-9911$14,995* 5.3L PKG ................... 4X4, SHARP #13579 ................... 5.3L V8, V8,Jon TRL. PKG #13589 #13589 ................... 4X4, V8, V8, AUTO, AUTO, #13579 ................... SeeSHARP our Sales Staff • Dennis Kruttlin, Gene$9,995* Boyk, Mark Byce,4X4, Ted Kruttlin, Kruttlin, Tony Escareno, Scott Paavo $14,995* Certified Service ‘08 CHEVY IMPALA SS ‘07 PONTIAC GRAND PRIX ‘08VEHICLES CHEVY IMPALA SS@ www.alconamotors.com ‘07 PONTIAC GRAND PRIX VIEW ALL OF OUR NEW AND ............ CERTIFIED PRE-OWNED ONLINE V8, FULL 3.8 FULL SALES • SERVICE • PARTS BODY SHOP •LEATHER, WWW.ALCONAMOTORS.COM V8, AUTO, AUTO, LEATHER, FULL POWER POWER #13566 #13566 ........ ........ $16,495* $16,495* 3.8 V6, V6, AUTO, AUTO, FULL POWER POWER #13587 #13587 ............•$10,495* $10,495* ‘10 ‘06 ‘10 CHRYSLER CHRYSLER TOWN TOWN & & COUNTRY COUNTRY ‘06 BUICK BUICK LUCERNE LUCERNE CXS CXS V6, FULL POWER #13308 $18,495* SUNROOF, LEATHER, LOADED ........... $12,495* PASS., V6, AUTO, AUTO, FULL The POWERblond #13308 ......... ......... SUNROOF,gets LEATHER, LOADED #13516 #13516 $12,495* by77aPASS., A blond pulled over ........... for speeding blond cop. cop $18,495* comes up ‘09 CHEVY AVALANCHE 4X4 ‘07 CHEVY IMPALA LS ‘09 CHEVY AVALANCHE 4X4 ‘07 CHEVY IMPALA LSsays: “Show me your license”. to the window and The blond driver says: “It’s on 3.5 $12,995* Z71, LEATHER, TRL. PKG #13509 .................. $25,995* 3.5 V6, V6, FULL FULL POWER POWER #13466 #13466.................... .................... $12,995* the back of Z71, theLEATHER, car.”TRL. PKG #13509 .................. $25,995* ‘04 ‘04 PONTIAC PONTIAC GRAND GRAND AM AM GT GT Tax, Title & Doc Fees. See Dealer for details. Plus Tax, Title &the Doc Fees. one See Dealer for details. The blond cop says:** Plus “No, with your picture on it.” ALCONA MOTORS So the blond driver looks through her purse and finds a mirror and says: “Oh, “WHERE FAMILY” “WHERE YOU’RE TREATED LIKE FAMILY” here itYOU’RE is” DOWNTOWN andTREATED hands it LIKE to the cop. LINCOLN` DOWNTOWN Open: Mon. - Fri. 8:30 am - 5:30 pm • Sat. until 2 pm •LINCOLN` Lincoln (989) 736-8191 - Toll Free 800-736-9911 Open: Fri. 8:30 am Kruttlin, - 5:30 pm • Sat. until 2 Byce, pm • Ted Lincoln (989) - Toll Free 800-736-9911 See ourMon. Sales- Staff • Dennis Gene Boyk, Mark Kruttlin, Jon736-8191 Kruttlin, Tony Escareno, Scott Paavo our Sales Staff • Dennis Kruttlin, Gene Boyk, Mark Byce, Ted Kruttlin, Jon Kruttlin, Tony Escareno, Scott Paavo The blondSeecop looks at the mirror and says: “Well, if I had known you were a Certified Certified Service Service VIEW ALL OF OUR NEW AND PRE-OWNED VEHICLES ONLINE @ www.alconamotors.com copCERTIFIED I wouldn’t have pulled you over.” VIEW ALL OF OUR NEW AND CERTIFIED PRE-OWNED VEHICLES ONLINE @ www.alconamotors.com As I’ve gotten older, I’ve learned that pleasing everyone is impossible, but ticking everyone off is a piece of cake! Buying Standing Timber 5 Acres and More Management Cuts or Clear Cuts *Top Prices Paid* 2008 BUICK LUCERNE CXL Sales Sales 17,495 Drive Home RunDrive Deals 4CYL, AUTO, PW/DL, TILT, CRUISE CoMPLETE AUToMoTIVE REPAIR No Appointment Necessary – We Can Hear You Coming! BRAKES • TUNE-UPS CUSTOM EXHAUST • OIL CHANGE STRUTS • SHOCKS • TIRES CoMPLETE AUTo CARE Mon.- Fri. 8:00am to 5:00pm • Sat. 9:00am to 2:30pm 1002 W. Chisholm St. • Alpena 989-354-3232 The Shop That Gives Back to the Community FREE BRAKE INSPECTIoN - FREE ESTIMATES- FREE BATTERY TEST Premium Oil Change Brakes A/C Recharge Mufflers Radiator or Transmission Flush & Fill Differential Change Alignment Brake & Power Steering Flush Tire Rotation Tire Mounting & Balance Mufflers with Lifetime Warranty Computer Diagnostic Service SPRING SERVICE PACKAGE Oil Change (Up to 5 Quarts) Tire Rotation Wiper Blades (2) & Radiator Flush Regular $169.95 w/ coupon $15095 + tax MUFFLER MAN ALPENA Honesty & Integrity is Our Shop’s #1 Goal Money Saving Coupons Now Available at www.alpenamufflerman.com FREE LoCAL ToWING for Muffler Man Customers Only (outside Alpena, surcharge applies) 36 • The Good Life - may 2012 Platform Rocker/ Recliner for MOM www.thegoodlifepress.com Ain’t Gadgets Grand Big Man Recliner for DAD Starting at $249 March was when our son celebrated his 17th birthday, and we got him an iPhone. He just loved it. Who wouldn’t? I celebrated my birthday in July, and my wife made me very happy when she bought me an iPad. Our daughter’s birthday was in August so we got her an iPod Touch. My wife celebrated her birthday in September so I got her an iRon. Buying Gold, Silver and Platinum A possum is a flat animal that sleeps in the middle of the road. There are 5,000 types of snakes and 4,998 of them live in the South. There are 10,000 types of spiders. All 10,000 of them live in the South, plus a couple no one’s seen before. If it grows, it’ll stick ya. If it crawls, it’ll bite cha. Onced and Twiced are words. It is not a shopping cart, it is a buggy! Jawl-P? means, Did you all go to the bathroom? People actually grow,eat and like okra. Fixinto is one word. It means I’m going to do that. There is no such thing as lunch. There is only dinner and then there’s supper. Iced tea is appropriate for all meals and you start drinking it when you’re two. We do like a little tea with our sugar. It is referred to as the Wine of the South. Backwards and forwards means I know everything about you. The word jeet is actually a question meaning, ‘Did you eat?’ You don’t PUSH buttons, you MASH em. Ya’ll is singular. All ya’ll is plural. State Street Station Salon Treat Your Mom to a New ‘Do with a Gift Certificate! Dawn • Donna Tammy • Shelly Mon-Fri 9am - 5pm Sat 9am - 1pm evenings by appointment Only 306 N. State St. Oscoda 739-4730 After she woke up, a woman told her husband, “I just dreamed that you gave me a pearl necklace for our anniversary. What do you think it means?” “You’ll know tonight,” he said. That evening, the man came home with a small package and gave it to his wife. Delighted, she opened it - to find a book entitled “The Meaning of Dreams.” You know the drill...the doc says my cast should be off by late summer... It takes your food seven seconds to get from your mouth to your stomach. One human hair can support 6.6 pounds. Human thighbones are stronger than concrete. A woman’s heart beats faster than a man’s. Women blink twice as often as men. The average person’s skin weighs twice as much as the brain. Your body uses 300 muscles to balance itself when you are standing still. If saliva cannot dissolve something, you cannot taste it. NT POI FTS N TIO GI TINAA-KIND LES S E R D OF CTIB RE YOUR ONE- COLLE CH MO Q. FO AND O MU 00+ S ITH S W Y ,4 AND OUR 2 ROOM ENTOR IN HOW INV S FT. ANDED P X E OFFERING FURNITURE REPAIR, LAMP REPAIR, CHAIR RE-GLUING & RE-CANING, PLUS CUSTOM HARDWOOD TABLES We Buy & Sell Antiques, Collectibles, Knives, Jewelry, Hunting & Fishing Gear We Buy Estates and Conduct Estate Sales, Statewide NoW ACCEPTING CoNSIGNMENTS Backroom Antiques & More 135 Newman St., East Tawas • (989) 362-0400 BEACH COMBERS WELCOME A walk on the beach is not complete until you find a lakeside treasure at you feet, Stop in and tell us what you found! See our jars of beach glass and driftwood garlands. Backroom Antique Mall 135 Newman St., East Tawas (989) 362-0400 The Good Life - may 2012 • 37 find “the good life press” on facebook GOOD FOOD, GOOD FUN Dining and Entertainment Maplewood Tavern 7930 French Road • Alpena, MI 49707 989-595-2422 or 989-595-6668 A “Family Tradition” Built and Operated by the Cadarette Family Since 1924 Stop in and Linger for Awhile Great Memories Abide in Every Corner and Shelf WEDNESDAYS: Karaoke with Dennis 7-11pm FRIDAYS: Music 7-11pm - Guest Musicians Welcome SATURDAYS: “Almost Country” 7-11pm LAST SUNDAY OF THE MONTH: 4 til ??? “Clint & Stan” - Bring Snacks to Share! Occasional Jam Sessions - Check Us Out on Facebook for Dates! OPeN 7 DAYS A WeeK! Daily lunch Buffet until 3:30 Dinner buffet Friday to Sunday Saturday 4-9 p.m. Sunday 4-8 p.m. 1237 US 23 North Alpena, MI 49707 989-354-7715 CASUAL DININg BAKErY IMPortED BEEr & WINE goUrMEt FooDS 105 S. State Street Harrisville, MI 48740 989-724-7473 Manuel & Kim Pompa, Proprietors thefl[email protected] “If you’re gonna be two-faced, at least make one of them pretty.” – Marilyn Monroe Harbortown Pizza MorE oN MoNDAYS: Large 2-Item Pizza $10 “tAStY tUESDAY” MED. 2-ItEM PIZZA, $8 ALL DAY WEE WEDNESDAY: Small 2-Item Pizza $6 “NEW” Hand-Tossed Pizzas OPEN Pizza * Subs * Pasta Dishes 7 DAYS Chicken Wings * Salads 989-724-5000 At the Stoplight in Harrisville NoW ACCEPTING CREDIT CARDS We specialize in casino tours tues, May 1, 2012 st. ignace Wed, May 16, 2012 odawa thurs, May 31, 2012 turtle creek Wed, June 6, 2012 Kewadin, st. ignace Pat Rondeau 816 Tawas Street, Alpena 989-356-6153 [email protected] A hot afternoon and chilling at a local bar, everyone had their attention on a news about a jumper. A man at the bar said, “20 bucks says he’ll jump.” A blonde heard and said, “You’re on.” Sure enough he did jump and she paid the guy. He confessed, “I can’t take your money, I saw this footage earlier this morning.” The blonde said, ”So did I, but I didn’t think he would do it again.” Pool • Darts • entertainment Happy Hour Specials Mon-thur 7-close thursday Special: $2 Beer Cans, 10¢ Pool Karaoke Fri/Sat/Sun at 9:00pm Live entertainment Fridays Birthdays: 9th Kenny t.; 20th Crista; 28th Brittany 109 River St. in Alpena 989-356-9117 8 Tasty Varieties 8, 10, 20 or 30 pc. Buy 1, Get Same Sandwich Free 5113 North US-23 Lg. Pizza w/ Pepperoni, Bacon & Italian Sausage 989-739-1487 3 MEAT TREAT $8.50 SUN. - Sports & Snacks SUN./MoN./tHUr. - Penny pool tUE. - Ladies night SUN./MoN./tUE. - Long neck domestics $2, Select can beer $1, Select wine coolers $2 WED. - Wicked Wednesday Shot specials tHUr. - thirsty thursday ($3.50 a pitcher) FrI. & SAt. - Live Entertainment WED/tHUrS/SUN - Karaoke with “Scotty’s Music Madness” At the outpatient surgery center where I work, the anesthesiologist often chatted with patients before their operations to help them relax. One day he thought he recognized a woman as a co-worker at the VA hospital where he had trained. “Well, I suppose,” she replied, “I’m still cooking it.” 2 FoR TUESDAY 10am-4pm oSCoDA No Recovery from That When the patient confirmed that his hunch was correct, he said, “So, tell me, is the food still as bad there as it used to be?” Home of the HOT-N-READY Where Cold Beer & good Friends Meet! A Variety of $1 ShOTS 205 Long Lake Ave. Alpena, MI 49707 (989) 356-6034 Join Us in Celebrating CINCo DE MAYo Saturday, May 5th Beer, Mixed-Drinks, shots, tube shooters, Jello shooters, Music, Contests, games, Fun, Pool, Cards, Darts, gatherings, Parties/Events, Dancing, Karaoke, Live Entertainment, and Much More! 38 • The Good Life - may 2012 www.thegoodlifepress.com GOOD FOOD, GOOD FUN 10TH AVE Live Bands Friday & Saturday night 50¢ Delivery in Alpena w/ Minimum Order Wednesday is Open Mic night Monday thursday Bartender’s Choice Happy night Hour Bloody Mary Sunday 50¢ 4-7pm Hand-tossed Pizza WInGS Full Breakfast & Lunch Menu Bar & Grill 900 W. Chisolm, Alpena (989) 340-1300 Hours: Sun. 7am to midnight. Mon./Tues./ Thurs. 7am to 1am Wed./Fri./Sat. 7am to 2am Relationships would be easier if people came with a “Clear History” button. Dining and Entertainment Daily Dinner Specials Specials Available 2 p.m. until close THE NORTH END Family Restaurant SERVING BREAKFAST, LUNCH, & DINNER 7 AM to 10 PM OPEN 7 DAYS A WEEK DAILY SPECIALS HOMEMADE SOUPS & CHILI PIZZA OPEN YEAR ‘ROUND 989-727-2700 Hand-Dipped Ice Cream Waffle Cones At the North End of Hubbard Lake 1575 W. Hubert Rd. Polish Sunday Chicken Dinner $7.99 • turkey Dinner $7.99 Homemade pierogi $7.49 • Stuffed Cabbage $7.25 plath’s Smoked Kielbasa & Sauerkraut $6.95 polish Meatballs $6.25 • potato pancakes $5.99 polish Combination plate $9.95 Small Combination $7.25 Fiesta Monday taco Dinner $6.75 • Wet Burrito $7.99 Chicken Fajitas $9.99 • Beef Fajitas $9.99 Nacho Grande $7.99 70 ITEM MENU Classic Tuesday roast Beef Dinner $7.99 • Liver & Onions Dinner $7.49 pasty Dinner $8.99 Polish Wednesday Homemade pierogi $6.99 • Stuffed Cabbage $7.25 plath’s Smoked Kielbasa & Sauerkraut $6.95 polish Meatballs $6.25 • potato pancakes $5.99 polish Combination plate $9.95 Small Combination $7.25 All-American Thursday pork Loin $7.99 • 1/2 roasted Chicken $7.99 BBQ ribs $8.99 • pasty Dinner $8.99 Seafood Friday Shrimp Dinner $9.99 • Whitefish Dinner $10.99 Cod Dinner (panko bake or beer battered) $9.99 rainbow trout $9.49 • Smelt $7.99 A-Y-C-E FISH FRY EVERY FRIDAY $9.00 ENTERTAINMENT - DJ FRIDAY & SATURDAY 10 TV’S FOR YOUR FAVORITE SPORTS ATM - PULL TABS 4 KENO SCREENS - FREE WIFI 110 E. DWIGHT STREET, OSCODA 989-739-3388 • 739-EATS (3287) WWW.OFFICELOUNGEANDGRILL.COM “A dog is the only thing on earth that loves you more than you love yourself.” – Josh Billings Pasta Saturday Lasagna $7.99 Spaghetti w/ Spicy Italian or American-Italian Sauce (Italian Meatballs available) $5.99 Chicken Alfredo $8.99 Shrimp Alfredo $9.99 POLISh -AMERICAN hOMESTYLE COOKINg 13018 US-23 • One mile south of Ossineke • 989-471-2300 soMe Prices MaY cHaNGe DUe to MarKet PriciNG I have kleptomania, but when it gets bad, I take something for it. “Serving Shenanigans Since 1980” enjoy our OUTDOOR PATIO super draft sunday - $1.00 Pint Drafts • $2.00 guinness pints welcome golfers! 4709 F-41 Oscoda, Michigan Free WiFi Visa/mc accepted (989) 739-5611 The Good Life - may 2012 • 39 find “the good life press” on facebook GOOD FOOD, GOOD FUN Dining and Entertainment 20th Anniversary • Challenging 18 hole Championship Course • Driving range • putting Course • Audubon Cooperative sanctuary It’s time to tee it up! Spring is here and it’s time to Play Golf! White Pine National golf Resort Hubbard Lake road, near the south shore of Hubbard Lake 989-736-3279 www.whitepinenational.com Bolton Inn THE NEW 9101 Bolton Road • Open 7 Days • 989-358-9592 “Where We Toast to the Good People of the World” Happy Spring, Make your May Days Bolton Days! Watch For upcoming events Biggest and Most Delicious Deli Sandwiches in Northeast Michigan New York (989) Deli & Pizza 362-9067 Deli Sandwiches • Soups & Deli Salads Dogs • Oven-Baked Subs Zesty Crust Pizza • Wings & Appetizers Gourmet Desserts Ask About Our Fund Raising Program PIZZA BUFFET $6.99 11-3, Monday thru Saturday Pizza, Salad, Bread, Drink 126 Newman Mon-thurs 10am-8pm (first block) Fri-Sat 10am-9pm Downtown East Tawas Sun Noon-8pm “Mr. Clark, I have reviewed this case very carefully,” the divorce Court Judge said, “And I’ve decided to give your wife $775 a week.” American Legion Post #104 “That’s very fair, your honor,” the husband said. “And every now and then I’ll try to send her a few bucks myself...” 8:30 a.m. - 12:30 p.m. TAKE OUTS AVAILABLE - Public Welcome PUBLIC WELCOME 3221 M-76, Standish • 989-846-4091 SunDaY BrEaKFaSt May 6th, 2012 $5 Adults - $3 Kids 5-12 Yrs - Under 5 Free Sausage, Bacon, Scrambled Eggs, Hash Browns, pancakes, toast, Biscuits Sausage Gravy Barton City Eagles Aerie 4141 Invites You to Join Us “Happiness can’t buy money.” Mothers Day Breakfast Rosa’s Lookout Inn AERIE 4141 Sunday, May 13, 9am-Noon • Moms Eat FREE Friday, May 18th BBQ Ribs & Chicken Dinner - $8.00 - 4-7pm – Bob Hope 3 1/2 miles south of Ossineke 6808 U.S. 23 South • Spruce Once Again Voted #1 Italian Restaurant - People’s Choice 2012 Huge Menu The Best of Pasta, Steaks, Seafood & Fish ALL MEALS WEATHER PERMITTING - PLEASE CALL AHEAD accepting new Member applications for 2012 Nudgemaster 671 N. Sanborn Road, Barton City • (989) 736-3050 A five year old boy went for a weekend trip with his grandparents. On the way home, they stopped at a country restaurant for lunch. The little boy left the table to use the restroom by himself. A moment later he returned with a confused look on his face. He says, “Grandpa, am I a rooster or a hen?” RED ROOSTER Wood Fire Pizza Oven fOR SALE 3228 US 23 9 miles N. of Oscoda in Greenbush Find Us on Facebook 989-739-7659 101 N. Lake St, Lincoln open ‘til 7PM Daily american & italian cuisine Daily Specials • Generous Portions Breakfast served all Day Tues-Thurs 8am-8pm • Fri/Sat 8am-9pm Sunday 8am-8pm • Closed Monday Cocktails, Beer & Wine OpenTue-Thurs 4-8 * Fri/Sat 4-10 Sun 4-8 * Closed Mondays OPEN MOTHERS DAY Extended Hours Beginning 5/14/12 Mon-Thurs 4-9 * Fri/Sat 4-10 * Sun 4-8 restaurant summer hours starting Memorial Day Weekend: 989-471-2118 FooD So gooD, YoU’LL tHINK WE StoLE YoUr grANDMA 989-736-6611 Weekday Breakfast Special COUPON Buy 1 Dinner Sunday Breakfast Special Entrée, Get 2 Eggs, Choice of Meat, Cheesy Potatoes & toast 1 for 1/2 OFF $6.75 WEDNESDAYS oNLY FrIDAYS good thru 5/30/12 Happy Birthday Kyle & Lindsay 2nd Entrée must be of equal or lesser value to full-priced entrée. All-U-Can-Eat Cod $9.25 40 • The Good Life - may 2012 The new Librarian decided that instead of checking out children’s books by writing the names of borrowers on the book cards herself, she would have the youngsters sign their own names. She would then tell them they were signing a “Contract” for returning the books on time. BUMPER S www.thegoodlifepress.com screen printing STICKER My car is a status symbol - the symbol of me being poor! Her first customer was a second grader, who looked surprised to see a new Librarian. He brought four books to the desk and shoved them across to the Librarian, giving her his name as he did so. Where am I going? And why am I in a handbasket? The Librarian pushed the books back and told him to sign them out. The boy laboriously printed his name on each book card and then handed them to her with a look of utter disgust. Heavily medicated for your safety best prices in northeast michigan Mention This Ad for 10% Off Screen Printing 989-354-4400 1. It’s not a laugh to practice barking at 3a.m. If at first you don’t succeed, I’m sure your honor student will take care of it. 2. It’s wrong to back Grandma into a corner and guard her. ANKH if you love Horus 3. He shouldn’t jump on your bed when he’s sopping wet. A Lit tle Full of Ourselves? WWGD: What would Groucho Do? 4. The cats have every right to be in the living room. A man and his wife were lying in bed the other night when he noticed she had bought a new book entitled, “What 20 Million American Women Want.” I have an IQ in the top 2%. Who cares about the other 95%? Before the Librarian could even start her speech he said, scornfully, “That other Librarian we had could write.” He grabbed the book out of her hands and started thumbing through the pages. I’m so far behind, I thought I was first. 5. Barking at guests 10 minutes after they arrive is stupid 6. Getting up does NOT mean we are going for a walk 7. Just because I’m eating, doesn’t mean you can. His wife was a little annoyed. “Hey, what do you think you’re doing?” Five days a week, my body is a temple. The other two, it’s an amusement park 8. If you look at me with those big soppy eyes, I’m not going to give in and feed you. NOT NOT NOT. Oh, ok, just this once. He calmly replied, “I just wanted to see if they spelled my name right.” As a matter of fact, I DID sleep in these clothes 9. No, it’s my food....Oh alright then, just a small piece. The Good Life - may 2012 • 41 Coin Supplies Buying One Piece or Entire Collections gold & Silver Coin & Currency 551 W. Lake St., tawas City (Across from City Hall) Mon-Sat 10am-5pm 989-362-2443 Gift Certificates Available Recipe Homemade Toaster Pastries WHAT YOU NEED 1 (14.1-ounce) box rolled refrigerated pie crust 1/4 cup strawberry preserves or your favorite flavor 1 cup confectioners’ sugar 1 tablespoon milk Decorative sugar for garnish (optional) HOW TO MAKE THEM preheat oven to 425 degrees F. Coat a baking sheet with cooking spray. unroll one pie crust and using a knife, square the edges. Cut into 12 rectangles 2 inches wide by 3 inches long. place a teaspoon of preserves in center of 6 rectangles and top with remaining rectangles. using a fork, crimp edges and place on baking sheet. unroll second pie crust and repeat process. Bake 7 to 9 minutes, or until lightly browned. Let cool 5 minutes, then remove to a wire rack to cool completely. In a small bowl, stir together confectioners’ sugar and milk, until consistency is like thick syrup. Spoon glaze slowly over fruit pockets and sprinkle with decorative sugar, if desired. Let harden, then serve. – unknown Got Income Tax Money? Why Not Invest in Gold Silver! Come See Dan (the silver fox) at The Coin Cove Today. Let Your Money Work for You! My son’s into extreme sports, my daughter’s into extreme makeovers, and my husband’s into extreme denial. BUY ~ SELL ~ TRADE Being happy doesn’t mean that everything is perfect. It means that you’ve decided to look beyond the imperfections. NOW OPEN “Never allow someone to be your priority while allowing yourself to be their option.” find “the good life press” on facebook We are More than Just tires! Complete Auto Repair COMPuTEr DiAGnOSTiCS & EnGinE AnALYSiS MuFFLErS & EXHAuST SYSTEMS STEErinG & SuSPEnSiOn rEPAir COMPuTEriZED WHEEL ALiGnMEnT BALAnCinG • BrAKES • Air COnDiTiOninG ELECTrOniCS TrOuBLESHOOTinG uSED EnGinES & TrAnSMiSSiOnS TOWinG AvAiLABLE OvEr 70 DiFFErEnT TirE SiZES in STOCK Ed & Jim Hart Jr., Owners HART TIRE & AUTOMOTIVE CENTER 989-739-3858 • Fax 989-739-8985 5248 N. US 23 Oscoda If Reaching Our Front Door is Difficult During Construction, the Welcome Mat is Still Out Around the Back - Take the Road That Runs Behind Rite-Aid at the Light! 42 • The Good Life - may 2012 www.thegoodlifepress.com Dean Arbour 10th Annual TENT SALE EVENT MAY 15-31, 2012 $1,000 Trade-in Bonus YES, MAKE YOUR BEST DEAL AND $1,000 trade bonus not vaild with any ot NEW CADILLAC STARTINg AS LOW AS 29995.00 4 YEARS Of PREMIUM MANTENACE CARE YES! WE WILL DO YOUR,OIL ChANgES,TIRE ROTATIONS, fILTER REPLACEMENTS 2006 Buick Terraza Slatestone, 3.5L SFI U44783 $12,995 2011 Chevrolet Impala 4-Door, red Jewel, 3.5L JD44761 $22,495 2011 Chevrolet Impala 4-Door, Summit White, 3.5L JD44762 $22,495 2011 Chevrolet Impala 4-Door, Silver Ice, 3.5L JD44673 $22,495 2008 Dodge Grand Caravan Blue JD44772 $13,995 2009 Pontiac Torrent Maroon JD44801 $16,995 2007 Chevrolet Impala 4-Door, White JD44802 $13,995 2007 Nissan Quest 3.5L 6-cyl U3296 $10,995 2011 Chevrolet Impala 4-Door, Gold Mist, 3.5L MJ44765 $22,995 2005 Chevrolet Silverado 2500 Dark Green, 6.0L OVE44150 $19,995 2009 Chevrolet Aveo 4-Door, 1.6L MFI DOHC Po44654 $10,995 2002 Oldsmobile Intrigue 4-Door, 3.5L SFI Po44671 $5,495 2010 Cadillac DTS 4-Door, Black, 4.6L Po44705 $28,995 2003 Chevrolet Tahoe Dark Gray, 5.3L Po44776 $11,495 2003 Hyundai Sonata 4-Door, Gray ta44640 $7,995 2009 Pontiac G6 4-Door, Midnight Blue, 3.5L U44478 $13,995 2006 Volkswagon Beetle Convertible, Silver, 2.5L U44501 $11,995 2009 Volkswagon Jetta 4-Door, Gray, 2.0L U44564 $17,995 2005 Ford Mustang Convertible, Green, 4.0L SOHC U44582 $9,995 2005 Honda Pilot Steel Blue, 3.5L U44584 $12,995 2005 Chevrolet Silverado 1500 Sport red, 5.3L U44610 $17,995 2005 Chevrolet Silverado 1500 Silverbirch, 5.3L MFI Iron U44626 $16,995 2009 Pontiac G6 Sedan, Blue, 2.4L MFI DOHC U44639 $13,995 2008 Ford F-150 Gray, 5.4L U44647 $22,995 2002 Buick LeSabre Sedan, White, 3.8L U44786 $7,495 2006 Chevrolet HHR Daytona Blue, 2.4L U44655 $10,995 2003 Jeep Liberty 3.7L MpI U44658 $11,995 2010 Ford Escape Sangria red, 3.0L U44789 $21,790 2009 Honda Odyssey 3.5L 6-cyl U44800 $21,995 2010 GMC Terrain Merlot Jewel, 2.4L U44685 $23,995 2009 Chevrolet HHR Silver Ice, 2.2L U44792 $14,995 2002 Infiniti i35 4-Door, Silver, 3.5L U44796 $9,995 2007 Kia Optima 4-Door, tan, 2.7L U44698 $11,995 2005 Chrysler Pacifica Green, 3.5L MpI U44706 $10,995 2004 GMC Canyon yellow, 3.5L MFI DOHC U44707 $10,690 2006 Honda Civic 4-Door, Silver, 1.8L U44708 $12,995 2010 Chevrolet Equinox Summit White, 2.4L U44715 $21,495 2006 Chevrolet Cobalt 4-Door, Blue Granite, 2.2L U44720 $7,995 2004 GMC Yukon XL 5.3L V8 U44629 $13,995 2011 Cadillac Escalade EXT Silver Lining, 5.2L SFI U44768 $52,995 MANY gREAT PROgRAMS AND REBATES! LOW RATES , LONg TERMS , LEASE PAYMENTS ThE NUMBER ONE RATED SERVICE DEPARTMENT YES, DEAN ARBOUR ChEVROLET SERVICE EMPLOYEES ARE ThE BEST! ThE CUSTOMERS hAVE SPOKEN! ChEVROLET hAS 10 MODELS OffERINg 30 MPg hIghWAY OR BETTER! Many Other Great Used Vehicles Available... Come Down and Check Them Out! dean arbour CHEVy rUNs DeeP tHe NeW staNDarD of tHe WorlD 2000 Ultrasport Damon Motor Home White, cummins Ntc Dsl 14l U44803 $46,995 Sales • Service Call 1-866-438-3326 www.DeanArbourChevy.com Parts (989) 362-3403 Body Shop 1859 N. US-23 • East Tawas, MI The Good Life - may 2012 • 43 find “the good life press” on facebook Dean Dean ArbArbour our F More inform www.deana ation at rbourfm.co m vs. 10th Annualord / Mercury OMERS WILL WIN!! TENT SALE EVENT Ford Fusion &MAY 15-31, 2012 Ford Transit Connect 2003 CHEVY 2008 MERCURY TAHOE 4WD MARINER V6 2007 FORD AWD EDGE SEL Plus s on AllFusion Used Vehicles 2009 FORD 2002 CADILLAC 2002 MERCURY FLEX SEL AWD SEVILLE SLS SABLE LS D GET $1,000 TRADE-IN BONUS!!! Hybrid ther offer or previously negotatied deals Motor Trend Car of the Year. North American Car of the Year. 2008 FORD 2007 CHEVY 35K TAURUS SEL HHR LT Miles! UP TO 41 MPG!! Up to $3,500 in Rebates! 2010 ford Taurus SEL 2011 ford fiesta SES 1 owner $23,995 1,250 mi., 1 owner $18,995 Financing as low as 0%! 3.5L V6 auto P3065 1.6L 4-cyl u3237 2009 ford Mustang gT 1 owner, 27,633 $23,995 4.6L V8 manual p3124 2005 FORD 2008 MERCURY F-150 STX 4WD MOUNTAINEER AWD 2010 ford Edge SEL 1 owner $23,500 3.5L V6 auto U3159 2000 FORD RANGER 2001 ford Mustang gT roush Stage III, 26,338 mi. $21,500 4.6L V8 5-speed u3313 2009 FORD FOCUS SE 2008 ford Edge SEL Panoramic roof, 1 owner $21,995 3.5L V6 auto p3341 North American Truck of the Year. 2001 gMC Sonoma — 2000 Oldsmobile Silhouette Nothing like gLSit anywhere $5,995 leather $5,995 I-4 cyl. u3398 3.4L V6 auto u3331 hundreds of2.2Luses. 2009 ford fusion SE V6 1 owner $18,995 3.0L V6 auto u3197 2007 FORD EXPLORER 2008 DODGE 4WD 2008 FORD Sport Trac Ltd. 4WD RAM 1500 27K Miles! ESCAPE XLT 2010 Mercury grand Marquis LS 1 owner, 18,182 $17,995 4.6L V8 auto p3130 2008 FORD 4WKD 2008 MERCURY 2008 MERCURY 2005 FORD RANGER ESCAPE Ltd. M19iles! MARINER V6 MILAN I4 21K Miles! SUPERCAB 2001 Buick LeSabre Limited 126,825 mi. $6,995 3.8L V6 auto p3433 2006 FORD F-150 STX 2009 Chevrolet Impala LT 3.9L leather $15,500 3.9L V6 auto u3438 2008 LINCOLN 2001 FORD MKZ CROWN VIC LX 2011 Chevrolet Silverado 1500 LT 1 owner, 12,467 mi. $32,995 U3364 2002 Jeep grand Cherokee Laredo $7,995 4WD 4.0L I-6 cyl auto p3390 2005 Chrysler Town & Country Touring leather $10,995 3.8L V6 auto u3373 2005 Dodge Durango 4x4 $9,995 4WD 4.7L V8 auto u3414 2007 Lincoln MKZ only 37,374 mi. $18,495 3.5L2007 V6 autoFORD p3406 2008 Dodge Ram 1500 2009 Dodge Ram 3500 2008 Mercury Milan I4 36,374 mi. $14,995 2008 FORD 2.3L I-4 cyl. p3408 See your salesperson* 2000 LINCOLN 2008 MERCURY LS V6 MILAN I4 Premier 2008 FORD ESCAPE XLT to register for some 2005 Chevrolet Impala 2008 ford Escape XLT 3.0L $9,995 1 owner $19,995 3.4L V6 auto u2375 4WD 3.0L V6 auto D 2007 SATURN 2006 CHEVY 2008 4WU3176 SILVERADO 1500 VUE 4-CYL. TAURUS SEL ASPEN Ltd. 4WD 2007 Nissan Quest 3.5 2009 ford flex SE Great Prizes Gift Certificates, Gas Grill and more! 2004 Chevrolet Suburban 1500 2009 ford flex Limited extra-clean $10,995 27,512 mi., 1 owner $27,995 3.5L V62007 auto U3218 FORD CHRYSLER 5.3L V8 auto u3428 2010 ford Explorer Eddie Bauer 2007 Dodge Ram 1500 2010 FORD MUSTANG 2007 FORD Eddie EXPLORER Bauer RANGER 4WD 1 owner 1 owner leather,FORD Hemi $21,995 1 owner, 25,117 mi., Big HornDHemi2009 $26,995MERCURY 1 owner, D $36,995 1 owner 2008 $26,995FORD 4WD$10,995 2007 3.5L JEEP GR.$22,995 2008 FORD 2007 FORD 2010 FORD 4W 4WD 2008 4WD 2007 MERCURY W diesel V6 auto p3158 4WD 4.0L V6 auto p3157 3.5L V6 auto u3296 4WD 5.7L V8 u3419 4WD46.7L I-6 cyl u3421 4WD 5.7L V8 p3425 s! ile s! M CHEROKEE LAREDO MARINER 31K FUSION SE TAURUS Limited EXPLORER XLT F-150 SuperCrew MARINER I4 5K Mile MUSTANG 4WD ESCAPE XLT D Mitsubishi ford f-150 2006 CHEVY Corolla D 20052011 2008 2000 MERCURY 2009 2007 FORD 2011 2004 CHEVY 2007 FORD 2004 2008 PONTIAC 4W2011 2009 4 ford SE PONTIAC A2005 WDEdge WD Toyota fordFORD E-350 Super Duty ford E-350 Super Duty 2009 ford Escape XLT FORD 2.5L 4W Lancer ES 1 owner, silver, 80,014 mi. $9,995 D $18,995 $19,995 12-passenger, 1 owner, 23,187 mi. $21,495 EXPRESS 12-passenger, 1 owner, 14,953 mi. $22,995 14W owner D s! $7,995 Miles! 1 owner $16,995 W ile K A M 35 MILAN I4 Premier SILVERADO 1500 VIBE EXPLORER XLT EXPEDITION F-150 XLT F-350 G6 3K 4WD 5.4L V8 auto u3312 1.8L 4-cyl u3309 3.5L V6 auto u3241 5.4L V8 auto p3405 5.4L V8 auto p3404 2.5L I-4 cyl auto u3202 2.0L I-4 cyl. u3393 2007 ford f-150 XLT 1 owner $12,995 4WD 5.4L V8 auto u3284 1990 BMW 5251 $2,995 Green U3361 2002 FORD 4WD 2009 FORD F-150 2007 SATURN SuperCrew 4WD1999 ION 2 F-350 CHASSIS 2010 ford f-150 iles! ford f-250 Ford F-Series 2010 ford Escape XLT 1 owner, moon roof $23,995 Best Truck 4WDSelling 2.5L V6 U3223 1 owner, 24,022 mi. $27,995 4WD 5.4L V8 u3436 Diesel $7,995 7.3L V8 u3394 Prices Too Low to Advertise!! 2011 Mercury grand Marquis LS 1 owner, 18,182 mi. $19,995 for 38 4.6Lyears. V8 auto p3261 ’09 Motor Trend Truck of the Year. 17K M 2000 ford Ranger 132,235 mi. $4,995 3.0L V6 u3391 CHECK OUT ALL THE NEW 2010 ford flexSUPER SEL 2006 ford fusionTRUCKS SEL V6 1998 Toyota 4Runner SR5 V6 Limited 2011 DUTY IN STOCK 1 owner $23,995 leather, moon roof $10,495 AWD 3.5L V6 auto u3384 2011 ford Taurus Limited 1 owner $23,995 3.5L V6 auto p3424 3.0L V6 auto u3410 2008 ford Taurus X Limited $17,495 3.5L V6 auto u3437 $3,995 4WD 3.4L V6 auto u3416 2007 gMC Sierra 2500hD Classic SLE Duramax Diesel, 1 owner, only 46,284 mi. $34,995 4WD 6.6L V8 auto u3376 $ * Must take test drive to register Rebates up toTrades 6,500! Not Pictured – For more info, go to deanarbourfm.com Many Fresh Financing as low as 0%! MANY MORE VEHICLES FROM WHICH TO CHOOSE!! Sale ends June 5, 2010 989-362-3489 • 1-800-610-3781 1995-2011 1995-2008 FOLLOW US ON 44 • The Good Life - may 2012 www.thegoodlifepress.com MOTHERS DAY SPECIAL: All-You-Can-Eat Baked Ham Dinner $9.95 s ’ a try m n a u M Ko itchen Daily -Eat n u-Ca o All-Y pecial et S d Bask K Tune Your ‘Toon – Be Ready for Summer Fun! I will pick your pontoon up from storage.Tune it and make it water ready for the season. Servicing All Makes & Models t kfas Brea Daily ecial Sp , Meat, In and Out Service / Tune Ups Over 20 Years Serving Northeast Michigan gs 2 Eg & Coffee t nly Toas 11am O am6:30 Brea f 2: with hoice o , C and p, Salad t Sou Desser to, Pota 1109 W. AuSable rd. Old uS-23 • Oscoda, MI E-MAIL: [email protected] OTHER MOTHERS DAY SPECIALS: Baked Swiss Steak Dinner w/ potato $8.95 Stuffed Pork Chop $8.95 Stuffed Cornish Game Hen w/ potato $9.95 16 oz. New York Strip Steak w/ potato $14.95 Roasted Chicken or Turkey w/ potato $9.95 Above served w/ bread basket & choice of 2 items: soup, salad or dessert Homemade Soups Every Day Sunday-Thursday 6:30am to 8:00pm Friday-Saturday 6:30am-9:00pm Daily Lunch and Dinner Specials Bring This Coupon for FREE COFFEE with Purchase of Any Mothers Day Dinner Special (valid Mothers Day 2012 Only) Mama’s Country Kitchen – Oscoda, MI “Hope is the dream of the waking man.” – Aristotle Darrell’s Maxi Muffler & Main Line Automotive AUTOMOTIVE REPAIR • TIRE CENTER • OEM PARTS PerforMaNce Parts all tYPes of WelDiNG FrONt END SErVICE 5673 F-41, Oscoda, MI 48750 (989) 739-1463 Also Visit Darrell’s Maxi Muffler at 1201 S. uS-23, tawas City, MI 48763 (989) 362-1463 Omer, MI Products by - FoxFarm, General Hydroponics, General Organics, Roots Organics, No Spider Mites, Sierra Natural Science, just to name a few. Certifications & Renewals by “dr. Bob” Call to book your appointment! (989) 653-2141 Authorized Dealer 407 W. Center St. (US-23), Omer Mon-Fri 10-6, Sat 10-3 delivery Available • Come and Check Out Our Store! HIcKOrY DIcKOrY DOcK cO. * roll-In Boat Docks * cedar top * ells * tees * platforms * ladders & Benches Things Mom Would Never Say GOODRICH “How on earth can you see the TV sitting so far back?” ASPHALT • PAVING Serving This Area for Over 60 Years “Yeah, I used to skip school a lot, too.” Driveways • Streets • Parking Lots • Resurfacing Site Preparation • MDOT Pre-Qualified • Asphalt Sealer Excavating • Sand • Gravel • Topsoil • Salt • Trucking COMMERCIAL ~ RESIDENTIAL “Just leave all the lights on ... it makes the house look more cheery.” “Let me smell that shirt -Yeah, it’s good for another week.” “Go ahead and keep that stray dog, honey. I’ll be glad to feed and walk him every day.” “Well, if Timmy’s mom says it’s OK, that’s good enough for me.” Visit us on the web at www.hickorydickorydocks.com 989-356-1791 www.everettgoodrichtrucking.com Plant Location: 5614 Wessel Rd., Alpena Office Location: 3851 Werth Rd., Alpena Take The Good Life along on your vacations! Send us a picture of you and The Good Life and win exciting new Good Life merchandise! Send your photo via email to [email protected] Or mail to P.O. Box 92, Lincoln, MI 48742 “I don’t have a tissue with me ... just use your sleeve.” “Don’t bother wearing a jacket - the wind-chill is bound to improve.” Thoughts Winter isn’t cold, it’s heat challenged The speed of time is onesecond per second. I think of book-burning as “English lit” Life is too short to proofread. (989) 727-3168 Trucking & Asphalt Paving “The curfew is just a general time to shoot for. It’s not like I’m running a prison around here.” All I ask is a chance to prove that money can’t make me happy. 13775 Hubbard Lake Rd. • Hubbard Lake, MI (989) 739-5580 Join the I.R.S. - Be Audit You Can Be! Why is it that you must wait until night to call it a day? “We at The Good Life Press wish to express our gratitude for all those who have served in the armed forces and given their lives to protect our freedoms. Please take a moment to honor the fallen this Memorial Day and keep those now serving in your thoughts.” – Chris Rayburn, publisher The Good Life - may 2012 • 45 Jimmie Says Don’t Drink and Drive...Just Drink! Celebrate This Memorial Day with a Cold, Michigan-Brewed Beer from... Short’s Brewing Co. North Peak Brewing Co. Mt. Pleasant Brewing Co. Tri City Brewing Co. Founders Brewing Michigan Brewing Co. New Holland Brewing Bell’s Brewery Inc. Arcadia Brewing Co. Dark Horse Brewing Co. Atwater Block Brewery Alpena (989) 354-8044 Wayne B. McWilliams Posen (989) 766-2541 Wm. Jeff Faircloth www.lifestorynet.com • www.mcwilliamsfh.com WE HAVE Liquor • Beer • Wine Hoodies, Sweats & T’s Tobacco Products Lottery & More Jimmie Garant’s Party Store 1226 W Chisholm St., Alpena we know you can shop anywhere... thank you for choosing miller shoes! MILLER SHOES “Your Footwear Specialist” SIZES 5-15 AAA to EEEEE $15OFF Any Pair of SAS Shoes Valid May 1-14, 2012 Monday-Saturday 9 a.m. - 6 p.m. 127 Newman • East Tawas (989) 362-2587 • 1-800-929-3694 – Mark Twain “Clothes make the man. Naked people have little or no influence on society.” find “the good life press” on facebook Serving Northeast Michigan specializing in Seamless Gutters and All Your Building and Remodeling Needs Phone (989) 471-8051 Cell (989) 916-5454 Licensed • Insured For All Your Cross Stitch Needs! e-mail: [email protected] As a history buff, I was looking forward to staying in a hotel in Salisbury, England, that dated back to the 13th century. But when I arrived, the hotel clerk gave me some bad news--my room was in the new section. Disappointed, I asked when the ‘new’ section had been built. “In the 1600s,” she replied apologetically. Never write a note or memo if you can phone or visit instead; everyone wants to talk whenever you’re ready. Don’t sit down to talk. The acoustics are better the higher you are, and remember that most people are a bit deaf so speak up louder! Try to talk with at least three people between you and your listener, so that they don’t feel left out. The very best place for a conversation is in the corridor, beside someone else’s desk. If the corridor is full, try leaning against their cupboard or hanging over their screen. Never warn people of your approach by knocking on their desk or cupboard. People love surprises, especially if they’re busy. The best time to disturb someone is when they look thoughtful or are concentrating. It’s your duty to give them a break now and again. My wife and I had words, but I didn’t get to use mine. Keeping a High Profile in the Office • DMC Floss • Fabrics • Books • Buttons • Beads Now carrying *Complete Custom Matting & Framing Service ~Mail/Phone Orders Always Welcome~ Primitive Embroidery Hours: Monday - Friday 10am-5pm Stamped Embroidery & Suite 132 • 2205 US‑23 South • Alpena, MI Cross Stitch (989) 354-3739 Items Now carrying European Beads $5 ea. 3 for $10 Compatible with all bead bracelets & necklaces An elderly couple lie in bed. The women said: “Remember, when we were dating you used to kiss me on the cheek.” So the man rolls over and kisses her cheek. Just about asleep when the woman says: “Remember when you used to nibble on my ear.” The man climbs out of bed; and stomp’s out of the bedroom. The woman says: “Honey, where are you going.” The old man says: “To get my teeth.” Glennie Party Store The Only Stop for Package Liquor in Glennie Home of the bigger, better Beer Den A Great Variety of Ice-Cold Domestic & Import Beer Liquor * Lotto * Cigarettes * Snacks * Sodas * Videos Bait & Tackle 3303 State Rd.(M65) in Glennie 989-735-2156 To make sure that you get regular breaks, never use a “Do No Disturb” sign. When other people use them they’re only joking. If the phone isn’t answered after four rings, hang on. Someone will answer it eventually, and they might like a chat, too. MEDICAL MARIJUANA CERTIFICATION & RENEWALS! Local Patient Certification Clinics FULL EVALUTIONS AVAILABLE! Never divert calls if you’re leaving your desk. Your telephone could get into bad habits. Try to whistle, hum or tap your fingers while you work. It is a comfort to others to know that you’re still there. If you have to design the office layout, remember to leave lots of wide-open spaces so that we can see and hear each other right across the floor. ONLY $ 120 Call for more information & appointments (989) 525-5700 SP51494 SP51494 Always hold meetings around a desk. If you book a conference room everyone will think you’ve got something to hide. www.alternativesolutionsplus.com 46 • The Good Life - may 2012 www.thegoodlifepress.com SPRIggS COLLISION COMPLeTe COLLISION SeRVICe Fiberglass Repair • Gel Coating Boats • Jet Skis • RV’s • Anything Fiberglass INSURANCe WORK WeLCOMe – get a Prompt Quality Repair & Save Part or All of Your Deductible It’s Your Choice... Not the Insurance Company’s! 30 YEARS SAME LOCATION 989-362-8571 Ask for Jim BRIAN ANKNER Custom ReUpholstery 201 S. Second St. Lincoln, MI All Work Done in Smoke Free Shop! 1-989-736-7467 You order a Double Whopper and he says, “Hey, my name ain’t Rockefeller, honey.” You’ve never heard someone speak with such passion about an ant farm. He seems to know an awful lot about your shower routine. Your dinner reservations are under “Loser, party of 2” He’s especially proud of how long he can sustain a burp. He calls to tell you he’ll pick you up, just as soon as the stand off with the police is over. He’s been on Geraldo once and Jerry Springer, twice. B&D sales Golf Carts, Accessories, Lift Kits & Boxes Recycled Batteries and Interstate Batteries Now In Stock Parts & Service - All Makes 366 S. US-23, Harrisville 989-724-6212 U-HAUL AUTHORIZED DEALER truck Sales truck & trailer rentals Plus Moving Supplies Mon-fri 9-5; sat 9-1 VISA & MASTERCARD ACCEPTED When I’m bored, I send a text message to a random number saying, “I hid the body, now what?” restoration services fire • water smoke • mold • mildew Alpena: (989) 356-9800 toll free: (866) 544-9800 24-hO Ur eMer GenC Y SerV ICe A couple had two little boys, ages 8 and 10, who were excessively mischievous. they were always getting into trouble and their parents knew that, if any mischief occurred in their town, their sons were probably involved. the boys’ mother heard that a clergyman in town had been successful in disciplining children, so she asked if he would speak with her boys.the clergyman agreed, but asked to see them individually. So the mother sent her 8-year-old in first that morning, with the older boy to see the clergyman in the afternoon. the clergyman, a huge man with a booming voice, sat the younger boy down and asked him sternly, ”Where is God?” the boy’s mouth dropped open, but he made no response, sitting there with his mouth hanging open, wide eyed. So the clergyman repeated the question in an even sterner tone, “Where is God!!?” Again the boy made no attempt to answer. So the clergyman raised his voice even more and shook his finger in the boy’s face and bellowed, “WHErE IS GOD!?” the boy screamed and bolted from the room, ran directly home and dove into his closet, slamming the door behind him. When his older brother found him in the closet, he asked, “What happened?” the younger brother, gasping for breath, replied, “We are in BIG trouble this time, dude. God is missing - and they think WE did it!” The Good Life - may 2012 • 47 find “the good life press” on facebook AnJ Statewide Real Estate 430 S. U.S. 23 Harrisville, MI 48740 Phone: (989) 724-5711 Fax: (989) 724-6833 1-800-655-5735 A very nice 2 bedroom, 2 bath home located in downtown Harrisville. You are within walking distance to dining, entertainment, the beach,harbor, and grocery store. Big Value - Low Price. $54,900 #12-0028 This freshly remodeled and updated 3 bedroom home sits on 1+ acre of land. Home features large master bedroom, 2 bathrooms, remodeled kitchen with oak cupboards and corian counters, family room with fireplace, all new carpeting and painting throughout. Move-In Condition. Good Location! $79,900 #11-0118 AnJ Statewide Real Estate E-mail: [email protected] Web Site: www.statewiderealestate.net www.harrisvillestatewide.com www.realestate-mls.com This 40+/- acres is located on Cedar Lake Road with utilities available. Includes driveway, culvert and Cedar Lake Creek running through the property. Consists of three 10 acre parcels, one 8.63 acre parcel and four Timberlakes Estates lots bordering the acreage. With Timberlakes Estates amenities the buyer has lake access to Lake Huron and the use of the club house and boat launch on Cedar Lake. Perfect property for the outdoor sportsman and has some nice building sites. Seller will consider selling in smaller parcels. $59,900 #11-0151 This very nice home was built by the owner themselves for their retirement home. Their personal touch is everywhere from the 26 x 36 finished and insulated garage, to the two covered decks, and the overall charm. The view of Lake Huron in the distance is impressive. Built on a high bluff provides seclusion and privacy from any neighbors. $149,900 #10-0074 This cottage is located on one of the nicest lots on the east side of Cedar Lake. Lots of trees and a beautiful, sandy swimming area. Large open floor plan great for entertaining the entire family. New roof and storm windows throughout. Hook-Up to city water available. $164,900 #12-0026 Beautiful wooded acre, close to town with a 2 bedroom mobile home. Great location, perfect for that up north or weekend get-a-way. Comes with a shed to store all your toys! $20,500 #11-0114 It just doesn’t get any better - seclusion, privacy and just minutes from Lake Huron, the Harbor with boat launch and town! This 10 acre parcel is perfect for the up north get-away or your retirement home. $20,500 #11-0061 Enjoy the beauty of Lake Huron as well as the beautiful sand beach that provides miles of sandy walking. The wooded lot provides privacy and reduces the traffic noise. The 28 x 13 great room has two door sliders leading to a 50 ft wrap around deck overlooking the lake. The 12 x 17 master bedroom has an updated master bath. This building was added to and updated in 2003. At that time new windows, furnace, flooring, kitchen cabinets, central air, vinyl cedar shake exterior, deck, roof, and heated 23 x 23 garage were installed. A fence in the back yard is perfect for your pet. This is an opportunity, at a great price, to own and enjoy a quality Lake Huron home. $295,000 #12-0034 Why have the hassles and upkeep of owning a cottage when you could be enjoying a condo lifestyle. This one bedroom, one bath condo is in move-in condition. Condo overlooks beautiful Cedar Lake. Boat ramp and park directly across the street. No lawns to mow or walls to paint. Start enjoying your up-north experience the moment you step out of your car. $29,900 #12-0042 Perfect opportunity to move up from the busy down state area to an enchanting year round outdoor sports area and run your own life. The B C Bar & Grill offers you the opportunity to do just that! The bar and grill has had many updates over the past couple of years including: floor covering, new bathrooms, booths, some tables & chairs, outside wood burner as alternative heat, new air conditioning unit, windows & etchings, new deep fryers, pizza oven, and more. Call for all the details! $295,000 #12-0035 OWNER FINANCING. LOW DOWN PAYMENT AND INTEREST. MAKE AN OFFER. OWNER IS MOTIVATED. Twelve units with the opportunity for beach access on Lake Huron. Completely renovated in 2006 including vinyl siding, wiring, windows, hot water heaters, plumbing, showers, sinks, toilets, roof, water filtration system, carpet, beds, linens, towels, chairs, tables, bedding, paint, artwork, heat & air conditioning, well pump, pressure tank, screen doors, entry doors, patio furniture, grill, washer/dryers in the laundry. A three seasons business with a positive cash flow. The office and laundry building can easily be converted to an owner’s or manager’s apartment, 3/4 bath already installed. $189,000 #10-0120 REDUCED PRICE BY $35,000 - A great cottage at a great price. Close to Federal Land on Lake Huron, has beach access, and a short distance from a DNR boat launch ramp in the Black River. New vinyl siding, windows, roof, fireplace, furnace, ceiling in great room. Well insulated for year round living. $39,900 #10-0028 Two elderly sisters were having coffee at the kitchen table. One sister was saying to the other, “When I die, I want to be buried facing east, so that I’ll be facing the rising sun each morning.” The other sister looked at her in irritated bewilderment. “What are you talking about?” she replied. “You’re going to be cremated! You won’t have a face!!!” Real Signs and Advertisements Now is your chance to have your ears pierced and get an extra pair to take home, too. We do not tear your clothing with machinery. We do it carefully by hand. No matter what your topcoat is made of, this miracle spray will make it really repellent. A man observed a sign in the window of a restaurant that read “Unique Breakfast,” so he walked in and sat down. The waitress brought him his coffee and asked him what he wanted. “What’s your Unique Breakfast?” he asked. “Baked tongue of chicken!” she proudly replied. “Baked tongue of chicken? Baked tongue of chicken! Do you have any idea how disgusting that is? I would never even consider eating anything that came out of a chicken’s mouth!” he fumed. Undaunted, the waitress asked, “What would you like, then?” “Just bring me a hard boiled egg,” the man replied. Have several very old dresses from grandmother in beautiful condition. Save regularly in our bank. You’ll never reget it. This is the model home for your future. It was panned by Better Homes and Gardens. For Rent: 6-room hated apartment. For Sale: Diamonds $20; microscopes $15. Offer expires December 31 or while supplies last Stock up and save. Limit: one We build bodies that last a lifetime See ladies blouses. 50% Off! Our bikinis are exciting. They are simply the tops! Viking Marine, Inc. Over 39 Years in Business 989-727-2797 4968 Hubbard Lake Road Spruce, MI 48762 Certified Mercury & MerCruiser Parts & Service vikingmarine-hubbardlake.com FRED SIEBERT JOHN M. UNKOVICH Sales & Service Parts & Service 48 • The Good Life - may 2012 www.thegoodlifepress.com Alpena Area Chamber of Commerce Chick-fil-A Leadercast will be held Friday, May 4, 2012 at the Great Lakes Maritime Heritage Center Education Room (Time: TBD). Space will be limited this year to 150 attendees (last year we had more than 200). Please mark the date and plan on getting tickets as soon as they go on sale! Speakers include John Maxwell, Tim Tebow, Urban Meyer, Angela Ahrendts and many more. Know for sure you want to go? Contact the Chamber to be put on “the list” to be the first to know when tickets are available. $ 3 00 Off PREMIUM WASh State Street Auto Wash Located at State Street • 105 Mason Street, Alpena Clearview Car Wash expires 5/31/2012 US-23 North • East Tawas & Oscoda United Way of Northeast Michigan LIVE UNITED TM Give. Advocate. Volunteer. Serving Alpena, Alcona & Montmorency Counties 701 Woodward Avenue, Alpena, MI 49707 989-354-2221 ~ 989-356-5782 FAX [email protected] Marc K. Ferguson financial advisor Full Service Excavating & Material Contractor 989-358-2400 1015 Us 23 North suite 1 Alpena, MI 49707 Bus. 989-358-2049 tF. 888-358-8997 fax 888-418-9668 Other Chamber Events in 2012 Curb Side Fireworks Button Sales in from the Alpena Chamber office (235 W. Chisholm St.) on Thursday, May 10, 2012 from 10:30a.m.2:30p.m. Volunteers will be selling fireworks buttons for only $5. Listen to Bay 108 that day to hear updates on our progress. www.edwardjones.com The Alpena INDOOR FLEA MARKET Open Every Weekend in May Come and see us at 2630 US-23 South Open Sat 9-5 • Sun 12-5 S IS Established 1867 Skiba Insurance Services, Inc. • Home & Auto • Annuities Discount • Business • High Risk Auto Insurance • Worker’s Comp • Life • Health 127 W. River • Alpena Phone: (989) 356-9058 Fax:(989) 356-1694 • Toll Free: 1-800-33-SKIBA e-mail: [email protected] Tom Skiba with 50 years of service Hometown Tour will be held Thursday, May 24, 2012 from Quilt Shop Noon-4:30p.m. Take a bus tour of the area, stepping off at specific 1015B Hawley Road points of interest. Hillman, Michigan 49746 Return to the Thunder 989-379-2406 shop • 989-255-4368 cell Bay National Marine [email protected] Sanctuary for a trip on the glass bottom boat. Tour includes a gift bag for each Congratulations! participant. Free for Congratulations! employees of Chamber/ Alpena Area CVB members; $45 for Alpena Chamber of Commerce Chamber of prospective members. Commerce Registration is required, www.cfnem.org contact the Chamber at www.cfnem.org 989.354.4181. SandyDee’s Sewing 4th of July Parade on Wednesday, July 4 beginning at 11a.m. Parade begins at Alpena County Fairgrounds, 11th Ave., Chisholm St., straight across 2nd Ave. Bridge., turn left on Fletcher to the big parking area across from Alpena Marc’s brick building. Pura Vida Salon 140 S. Ripley St. Alpena, MI 989-354-3303 605 S. Ripley Blvd., Alpena (989) 356-2181 CROW REALTY www.c21crowrealty.com Each office is independently owned and operated Quality Service • Award-Winning Office Alpena’s ALL TIME Real Estate Leader (M. I. Thrifty) 989-255-1384 Come to our “Fill a Bag for $4.00” Back Door Yard Sale! Fri. May 18th 10AM to 6PM • Sat. May 19th 10AM to 6PM 2579B US Hwy 23 South, Alpena F.L.O.G. Fest (Annual Chamber Golf Outing) will be held on Friday, August 10. More details to come at a later date. The Good Life - may 2012 • 49 find “the good life press” on facebook Alpena Area Chamber of Commerce 2012 Good Morning Alpena Breakfast Events May 11 ~ What’s new Alpena? Sponsor: The Alpena News Location: Art in the Loft Gallery 109 July 13 ~ Brown Trout Festival Kickoff. Location: Brown Trout Big Tent September 7 ~ United Way Kickoff. Location: APlex November 9 ~ Out With the Old, In With the New… (but keep the things that work!). Location: Alpena County Library Conference Room All breakfasts start at 7a.m. with the program beginning at 7:30a.m. Cost is $8 per person. RSVP required to 989.354.4181 or [email protected] 2nd Annual Grub Crawl will be on Thursday, September 13 from 6p.m.-10p.m. This event was a huge success last year and we are looking forward to hosting it again! USO Show will be on Saturday, September 29 at the Alpena CRTC. The 2012 USO Show Committee is currently booking acts for the event. This is a fun event filled with a variety of musical performances. Some people sing. And others pretend. But no matter what style you (or a group of you) choose, it is always a great time. Questions? Contact Kathy Himes at [email protected] or 989.464.4850. Holiday Parade will be held the day after Thanksgiving, Friday, November 23, 2012 beginning at 5:30p.m. at the at the Annex building parking lot at the corner of Chisholm and Ninth Street. The parade route begins by turning left onto Chisholm, left onto Second Avenue, right onto Water Street, and ends in the parking lot behind City Hall. No early departures from the route. “celebrity server Night” Serving from 5-8pm on Mon., May 7th: National Relief Network (NRN) 400 S. Ripley, Alpena 989-354-4131 HOME FURNISHINGS LAZBOY FURNITURE FLOORING (989) 356-3812 100 North Ripley St. Alpena, MI 49707 every Friday is red shirt Day honoring and supporting our troops @ ripley Big Boy www.StarStaffingAlpena.com 119 Water Street Alpena, MI 49707 (989) 356-2999 Since 1987 Come in for our May Specials! ~ Shop Locally ~ E-MAIL: custservice@ northshorehomefurnishings.com 2236 US 23 South Alpena, MI 49707 Phone (989) 354-2171 Email: [email protected] Fax (989) 356-6606 WORLD WIDE TRAVEL Lud’s Professional Building 1223 S. State St. Suite C Alpena, MI 49707 Wendy LaCombe ACC, CTC [email protected] 989-354-WIDE (989-354-9833) Stacey McEwen Destination Specialist [email protected] www.worldwidetravelsandtours.com If you want to be in... The Gift Giving candles Garden “Out” Jewelry 989-354-8231 OPEN Mon - Sat 10-8 • Sun 12-8 Unique fun House You’ve got to get “OUT!” 126 S. Ripley 1045 N. Bagley St. • Alpena 989-340-0606 Starting May 18th we will be open until 10 pm; 9 pm Sun. Mother’s Day is Sunday May 13th Bring Mom in for an ice cream treat. Mom’s is FRee when you buy a treat of equal or greater value. www.northcountrycandyandgifts.com fREE CAR WASh WITH OIL CHANGE State Street Lube State Street at grant, Alpena • (989) 356-2722 Vintage Oil expires 5/31/2012 and a finalist for 2010 1213 Chisholm St., Alpena • (989) 354-7970 Clearview Car Wash & Lube 1748 N. US-23, East Tawas • (989) 362-0450 5232 N. US-23, Oscoda • (989) 739-1227 Liquor Phone: 989.354.8983 • Fax: 989.354.3560 e-mail: [email protected] Detailing: 30 yrs. in Alpena. Both Interior/Exterior Accessories: Trailer Hitches, Tonneau Covers,Mudflaps, etc. Protection: Rhino Lining, Rustproofing, Diamond Gloss Paint Protection 2673 US 23 South Alpena, MI 49707 Evelyn Steinke 21940 Co. Rd. 451, Hillman Groceries • Cold Beer and Wine Deli Sandwiches 989-742-3342 Royston General Store A few minutes later, the husband gets into the cab, “Sorry I took so long,” he says. “Stupid old thing was hiding under the bed and I had to poke her with a coat hanger to get her to come out!” A couple was going out for the evening. They’d gotten ready, all dolled up, cat put out, etc. The taxi arrives, and as the couple got out, the cat shoots back in. They don’t want the cat shut in the house, so the wife goes out to the taxi while the husband goes upstairs to chase the cat out. The wife, not wanting it known that the house will be empty explains to the taxi driver, “He’s just going upstairs to say goodbye to my mother.” That Darned Cat 989-358-0808 BUILDING EXPRESS IS YOUR HOME AIR-TITE? SPRAY FOAM INSULATION Carole McLaughlin Gaylord 989-732-3400 • Fairview 989-848-8336 Alpena 989-356-8401 • www.gaylordgas.com Gaylord Gas Can Heat Your Home for As Little As $129 Per Month! He looked her right in the eye and said, “This isn’t going to take all day, is it?” She said:” What are your golf clubs doing here”? The bride came down the aisle and when she reached the altar, the groom was standing there with his golf bag and clubs at his side. George Washington’s brother was the uncle of our country. 2080 Werth Rd., Alpena • (989) 356-9437 Open Mon-Fri 10:00-5:30, Sat 11:00-3:00 Buying items for resale on TUESDAYS TUTU Boutique Custom Made Tutu & Hair Bows “Best Name Brands in Like-new Condition Without the New Cost!” RESALE SHOPPE & MATERNITY OUTLET JUST FOR KIDS Email: [email protected] Fax (989) 356-6606 my Dad did something really stupid. My Mom chewed him out for it. He apologized, they made up. Phone (989) 354-2171 2236 US 23 South Alpena, MI 49707 “Your Pain Management Specialists” 16309 Co. Rd. 451 Hillman, MI 49746 P.O. Box 476 Phone: 989-742-3711 866-742-2165 Fax: 989-742-2165 989-356-2312 120 S. Ripley St., Alpena, MI 49707 Indoor • Outdoor • Landscaping Lights Ceiling Fans • Lamps • Lamp Shades Lamp Repair • Mirrors Mailboxes • Address Plaques Alpena Lighting A grown-up is someone who suffers from responsibility. 5900 U.S. 23 North • Alpena, MI 49707 www.abchomesalpena.com Mark Holmes 989-356-2621 HOMES, INC. We except drop offs of old and broken home and office equipment to be recycled for free. We are a non-profit organization devoted to going green and keeping your old used computers and equipment out of our landfills. Used & Refurbished Computer Sales PC Repairs • FREE DIAGNOSIS 989-340-1102 2577 US 23 S., Alpena “It is,” she said. “I just don’t want you to forget that I’ve forgiven and forgotten.” However, from time to time, my mom mentions what he had done. “Honey,” my Dad finally said one day, “why do you keep bringing that up? I thought your policy was ‘forgive and forget.’” NEW LOCATION Behind The Drug Store 2240 US-23 S., Alpena (989) 356-6178 Full Color Printing Business Cards * Checks Multi-Part Forms * Tickets & More Service Solutions & Savings Open Mon - Sat10 AM - 8:00 PM, Sun 12:00 PM to 5:00 PM 989-356-3271 DAILY SPECIALS Now Offering Subs & Sandwiches Rylie’s Cafe IN THE ALPENA MALL “When I first started driving, who would have thought gas would someday cost 29 cents a gallon. Guess we’d be better off leaving the car in the garage.” “Have you seen the new cars coming out next year? It won’t be long when $5,000 will only buy a used one.” “I’ll tell you one thing, if things keep going the way they are, its going to be impossible to buy a weeks groceries for $20.00.” QUOTES FROM 1957 “I think kangaroos have a Today I picked up my mothergood deal. I like that pouch in-law at the airport. She’s setup. I’d have a child if it getting a little up there. Some of the other kids thought she said a naughty word and told on her. would mature in a handbag.” She’s at the age where she – Rita Rudner The teacher stepped in to explain, “If doesn’t remember things too your mommy asked you to bring her a well. So when I saw her I said, damp towel, what does she want?” “Thanks for coming. Have a A little girl blurted out, “She means she wants that towel right now!” nice flight!” Once upon a time in their marriage, Hours Mon-Fri 8am-6pm Saturday 8am-4pm (989) 356 9429 427 W. Campbell Alpena “BEST PRICE, BEST SELECTION” Snow Plow Parts One day a child at my four-year-old’s preschool class told her classmates that she needed a ‘damp towel.’ 39 $ 95 Also works great to store snow plow! Roll out of the way and store 3 Piece Snowmobile Roller Set Unique Handmade Gift Items Made Especially for You or Your Loved Ones This Holiday Season NOW OPEN! Call 989-354-5816 • [email protected] Must present coupon – one cartridge per coupon Offer valid through May 31, 2012 On your next premium compatible printer cartridge. We can supply any make or model. Please call or email for a quote today! REGULAR PRICE 25% OFF NMLS # 162478 PH: 989-356-5900 LOW RATES! LOW COSTS! PURCHASE / REFI CALL TODAY! Phone (989)-354-0121 • Fax (989) 354-0123 Monday-Friday, 8am-4pm • Saturday, 8am-Noon www.alpena-embroidery-and-trophies.com at our new location 3111 US-23 S. • Alpena ALPENA EMBROIDERY & TROPHIES Tuesday - Friday Find Your Copy of “The Good Life,” northeast michigan’s funniest paper, in this fine establishment! 20% OFF WITH COUPON - Expires 5/31/12 The Buck Rocks Here!!! Fishing Tackle • Icre Cream 3033 US-23 South, Alpena 354-4583 The Red Arrow Phone (989)354-4354 Located in The Alpena Mall Cards, Comic Books, Games, Movies, and Collectibles BUY - SELL - TRADE signaturemotorsales.com 989.354.3566 at Alpena Trim 4147 U.S. 23 N. Alpena, MI Lotto Beer • Wine There’s a Car for Every Income! (989) 340-0941 Monday - Friday 8:30 to 5:30 2160 E. State St. • Alpena Stop in and See Suzie Soldenski Trade-in’s Welcome! CROSSROADS AUTO PLAZA Must Preset Coupon - Good thru 5/31/2012 20% OFF Any Pre-played Games with This Coupon koticgames.com New School & Old School 989-356-6444 2290 US 23 S Alpena Mall 50 • The Good Life - may 2012 www.thegoodlifepress.com The Good Life - may 2012 • 51 find “the good life press” on facebook C E L L NOW HERE: The Complete Kindle Line + Accessories! The Only Full-Line RadioShack Store in Northeast Michigan Pre-paid Oscoda phone service RadioShack Dealer New Tracfones in FULL-LINE Stock from $9.99 Phones in Stock RADIoSHACK New Net 10with the new $50.00 P h O PAY ALL YoUR N BILLS HERE! Open 9-5 M-F • Sat 9-4 E (989) 739-2911 Suite #4 S North Star Diner Two Suite #3 Professional Alterations & Repair N $10 OFF PROM TUXEDO RENTALS Valid thru May 2012 A Selection of Basic Sewing Notions unlimited service Boostmobile phones from $34.95 and the $50.00 unlimited service Beauty Salon Haircuts ~ Perms ~ Waxing Color ~ Cap ~ Foils neW SHELLAC MANICURE May Special: Perms Starting at $45 with Coupon OPEN Tues-Fri 10-5 • Sat 9-1 • Walk-in’s Welcome! Stylists Suite #2 Cheryl & Joy (989) 739-1956 THE OSCODA COMMONS W (989) 739-3412 E Mon.-Fri. 9:00-5:30 Closed for Lunch 1-2 Gary’s Hair Care S (989) 739-1837 OPEN DAILY 7am-2pm SERVING BREAKFAST & LUNCH Breakfast Available All Day WEDNESDAYS: $1.00 Coneys Daily Breakfast & Lunch Specials Hours: Mon-Fri 9:00-5:00 • (989) 739-3464 MEn’S AnD BOYS HAir CuT OnLY $6.00 with Coupon Suite #6 5737 N. US-23, OSCODA (Next to K-Mart) When we moved cross-country, my wife and I Tower: ‘TWA 2341, decided to drive both of our cars. for noise abatement Nathan, our eight-year-old, worriedly asked, turn right 45 Degrees.’ “How will we keep from getting separated?” TWA 2341: ‘Center, “We’ll drive slowly so that one car can follow we are at 35,000 feet. the other,” I reassured him. How much noise can “Yeah, but what if we DO get separated?” he we make up here?’ persisted. Tower: ‘Sir, have you “Well, then I guess we’ll never see each ever heard the noise other again,” I quipped. a 747 makes when it “Okay,” he said. “I’m riding with Mom.” hits a 727?’ Hubbard Lake General Store ALL DNr LICENSES BAIt & tACKLE BEEr - WINE - LIQUor FrESH MEAtS - groCErIES Lotto - ProPANE (989) 727-9172 NORTH END “AT THE CORNERS” COLE fOREST PRODUCTS LLC. Buying standing timber 5 acres or More top price paid call for Free QUotes on Management cuts to improve your land and promote Better re-growth also selling Firewood - 8 ft. lengths scott cole (989) 335-0755 ALL RISK INSURANCE 2213 US 23 S., ALPENA, MI 49707 • 989-358-8400 LET US SAVE YOU MONEY WITH MULTI-POLICY DISCOUNTS Tickets? Lapse? No Problem! Immediate Coverage – Low Down Payments Auto – Motorcycles – Snowmobiles – RV’s – ATV’s Mobile Home (no matter the age) Rec. Vehicles – Commercial Vehicles – SR22 ANNUAL MOTORCYCLE COVERAGE AS LOW AS $19 DOWN M IKADO ARKET Pizza Wed - Sun begining at noon LUNCH SPECIALS • CAPPUCCINO Homemade Soups, Salads & More Daily at 11am Homemade Jerky Double-Smoked Bacon DVD Rental • Mikado T’s & Sweats • Live Bait We accept VISA, MasterCard, Bridge Cards, and WIC Hours: Sun 8-8, Mon-Sat 8-9 2276 F-41, Mikado • 989-736-3066 52 • The Good Life - may 2012 www.thegoodlifepress.com Joel’s Guitar Shop For the Kids Serving the Alpena Area Since 1997 Word Search 1008 S. State, Alpena (989) 356-6384 owners: Joel & laurie choate CRACK THE WHIP LEAP FROG DODGE BALL MARBLES FREEZE MOTHER, MAY I? Games to Play Outdoors New and Used Stringed Instruments Buy~Sell~Trade All Musical Supplies HIDE AND SEEK HOPSCOTCH HOT POTATO JUMP ROPE LESSONS AVAILABLE Clip This Ad - Get 10% OFF Regular Prices Storewide Not to be combined with any other offers WANTED: RED ROVER SIMON SAYS TAG KEEP AWAY TETHERBALL KICK BALL TUG OF WAR KICK THE CAN WALL BALL Old Vintage Guitars, Mandolins and Banjos New and Used School Band Instruments A Very Special Mothers Day Package from Branham’s Jewelry With Any Purchase of $99 or More, You Will Receive a Potted Flower, Chocolates from The Village Chocolatier and a Mothers Day Card. Unscramble the Words The Birds! The Birds! 1. DBBCLRIAK___________________ 2. IRBNO_______________________ 3. RDCOWPEOEK________________ 4. NCDAIALR____________________ 5. BJAUELY_____________________ 6. LNFCOA_____________________ Restrictions Apply - See Store for Details 5226 North US-23 Oscoda, MI 739-1341 219 Newman St. East Tawas, MI 362-3674 7. OPGENI______________________ 302 West Houghton Ave. West Branch, MI 345-5710 8. RSRAOPW____________________ www.branhamsjewelry.com 9. LSUGELA_____________________ The Sands Resort on Hubbard Lake We offer cozy 2 bedroom, 1 bath, cottage rentals or a main house with 4 bedrooms and 2 baths, all with lake views on the largest inland lake in Northeast Michigan. Perfect for the swimming, boating, and fishing enthusiasts. SPRING SPECIALS: APRIL, MAY: $550 PER WEEK, JUNE: $650 PER WEEK Diane - Manager 989-727-3864 www.HubbardLakeRentals.com (810) 964-5868 ALSO: 3-Bedroom on Grand Lake, $700 a Week Boat & Pontoolsn Renta Gordon’s Ham and Pineapple Pizzas Kids activities should always be supervised by an adult. WHAT YOU NEED: 4 pitas 8 ounces sliced deli ham 1 8-ounce ball fresh mozzarella, sliced 1 8-ounce can pineapple chunks, drained HOW TO MAKE IT: Heat oven to 425° F. place the pitas on a baking sheet. layer with the ham, mozzarella, and pineapple. Bake until the pitas are crisp and the cheese has melted, 10 to 12 minutes. 1. BLACKBIRD, 2. ROBIN, 3. WOODPECKER, 4. CARDINAL, 5. BLUEJAY, 6. FALCON, 7. PIGEON, 8. SPARROW, 9. SEAGULL An elderly woman walked into the local country church. The friendly usher greeted her at the door and helped her up the flight of steps. “Where would you like to sit?” he asked politely. “The front row please,” she answered. “You really don’t want to do that,” the usher said “The pastor is really boring.” “Do you happen to know who I am?” the woman inquired. “No.” he said. “I’m the pastor’s mother,” she replied indignantly. “Do you know who I am?” he asked. “No.” she said. “Good,” he answered. Kids recipe As the storm raged, the captain realized his ship was sinking fast. He called out, “Anyone here know how to pray?” One man stepped forward. “Aye, Captain, I know how to pray.” “Good,” said the captain, “you pray while the rest of us put on our life jackets - we’re one short.” I So Love Chain Letters i want to thank all of you who have taken the time and trouble to send me your stinking chain letters over the past years. Thank you for making me feel safe, secure, blessed, and wealthy. Because of your concern........ i no longer drink a certain brand of cola because it can remove toilet stains and it eats the paint off of cars. i no longer drink two other brands of soft drinks since the people who make these products refuse to put “under God” on their cans. i no longer use plastic wrap in the microwave because a chain letter said it causes cancer. Hunting & ORV Licenses BAIT & TACKLE minnowsleechescrawlersleafwormsWaxwormscrayfish pop snacks Icecampfire Wood tackle & gear i no longer use supposedly cancer-causing deodorants even though i smell like a wet dog on a hot day. OPEN 7 DAYS • Daylight to Dark - Just Stop In! i no longer go to shopping malls because someone will surely drug me with a perfume sample and rob me. (989) 728-2248 Thanks so much for turning me into an edgy, neurotic basket case!!! 6075 N. M-65, Glennie at the AuSable River & Five Channels Dam The Good Life - may 2012 • 53 find “the good life press” on facebook Up North Home Watch Serving All of Northeast Michigan A Service for Absentee & Vacation Home Owners Weekly, Bi-weekly or Monthly Home & Property Inspections Additional Caretaker Services Available Experienced & Professional • Outstanding Customer Service Affordable Peace of Mind for You, Security for Your Home 989-255-6899 211Newman NewmanSt., St.,East East Tawas, 225 211 Tawas, MIMI 989-362-4585• •1-877-552-4545 1-877-552-4545 989-362-4585 My wife said, “Whatcha doing today?” I said, “Nothing.” She said, “You did that yesterday.” I said, “I know. I wasn’t finished.” Money isn’t everything, but it sure keeps the kids in touch. Walking Across America collection of works available at Simple Miracles, Harrisville The tax advisor had just read the story of Cinderella to his four-year-old daughter for the first time. The little girl was fascinated by the story, especially the part where the pumpkin turns into a golden coach. Artist Pablo Picasso surprised a burglar at work in his new chateau. The intruder got away, but Picasso told the police he could do a rough sketch of what he looked like. On Suddenly she piped up, “Daddy, when the the basis of his drawing, the police pumpkin turned into a golden coach, would arrested a mother superior, the minister of finance, a washing that be classed as income or a long-term machine, and the Eiffel tower. capital gain?” BEST IDEA HEARD IN A LONG, LONG TIME: Members of Congress should be compelled to wear uniforms just like NASCAR drivers so we could identify their corporate sponsors. A man doesn’t know what hapiness is until he’s married. By then it’s too late.” – Frank Sinatra Landmark Title Corp. offers title insurance, escrow and closing services for all of your real estate needs. With an attorney on staff Landmark Title Corp. is able to provide preparation of all necessary legal documents. Whether through a real estate professional or on your own, Landmark Title Corp. looks forward to assisting you with your real estate transactions in Iosco, Alcona and Ogemaw counties. www.SterlingPropertiesMI.com www.SterlingPropertiesMI.com www.SterlingPropertiesMi.com [email protected] [email protected] [email protected] NEW LISTING Roomy home on 14 AcresLAND? GOT LAND? GOT of wooded hunting land, family room has 47+ ACRES VERY PRIVATE 47+ ACRES VERY a fireplace, separate living, dining,PRIVATE kitchen HUNTERS PARADISE PARADISE - - With With HUNTERS and family rooms, firstoffloor laundry, fullPine, good stands Oak, Maple, good stands of Oak, Maple, Pine, basement, Birch two car garage and chicken coop. Birch and Spruce, 3 hunting blinds, and Spruce, 3 hunting blinds, about 11 mile mile from Lake Huron Huron about from Lake B of A Prequalification letter at 989-686-8500 $129,900 $129,900 required or proof of funds required on all offers, $84,900 NEWLISTING LISTING 10 ACRES Newer NEW 10 ACRES Newer NEW LISTING, SUPER REDONE HOME, addition, remodeling updating addition, remodeling andand updating main house has hardwood floors, fireplace, includeda alarge largefamily family room with included room with two bedrooms, laundry/mud room, hot water basement, kitchen, children’s a abasement, kitchen, 2 2children’s heat. One bedroom attached rents for $400/ rooms used bedrooms, second rooms used asasbedrooms, second fullshingled bathand and more. The acre mo. New roof in 2008, update full bath more. The 10 10 acre parcel has shed, creek pond. electrical, newer appliances in both house parcel has a ashed, creek andand pond. BuyerMUST MUST pre-approved with Buyer bebe pre-approved and apartment. This home sits on twowith lots, proof,$129,900 $129,900 privacyproof, fenced in back yard with outdoor fireplace and is by Lake Huron $109,900 LAKEHURON HURONLISTING LISTINGLOVLOVLAKE Up North joinsFOR the over INGLYBar CARED anditittruly truly INGLY CARED FOR and shows in this Lake Huron home 10,000 Acres Lost Lake Woods showsofinthe this Lake Huron home with a sandy beach and stunning with for a sandy beachaudience. and stunning Association a captive views from from the living living room room && views the master bedroom. Thisisfood isininmove move Complete turn key barThis and master bedroom. in condition, furnished SOLD in with condition, furnishedbath SOLD operation newer kitchen, $179,900 $179,900 D LD SOL rooms, roof, well, septic security camera systems just $209,000 NEW LISTING LISTING WATERWATERNEW FRONT1919 ACRES Emerald FRONT ACRES onon Emerald Lake,a aprivate privateinland inland lake Lake, lake justjust minutes from the Tawas area minutes from the Tawas area and Lake Huron, 1,580’ of water and Lake Huron, 1,580’LISTING of water REDUCED COMMERCIAL frontage and several building sites frontage several building sites Former Sand and Lake Hardware Store, $249,000 $249,000 3830 sq.ft. includes the hardware store area with shelving, display NEW LISTING LISTING 20 20 ACRES ACRES area, NEW ofofwarehouse, office and the one wooded hunting hunting land landwith witha abedroom three living area. Good area for wooded three bedroom cabin and garage/pole bedroom cabin and garage/pole a general/hardware store with many barn. Cabin has a full bath, FA barn. Cabin has a full bath,homes FA heat system, system, isisfurnished furnishedcomplete complete and cottages this inland lake heat area. $51,900 with pots, pots,pans pansand andofofcourse coursea apool pool with table! Buy now and be ready for table! Buy now and be ready for CHEAP updated one$98,500 bedroom hunting season, hunting season, $98,500 cabin, newer natural gas furnace, NEW WATERFRONT LISTNEW WATERFRONT hot water tank and electric service, ING Van Etten Creek is LISTthe back ING Van Etten Creek the back1.5 boundary of this fourisbedroom, kitchen/dining/living combo room boundary of this four 1.5 bath, tri-level, twobedroom, family rooms, bath, two family rooms, on two lots, about two blocks from one tri-level, with a natural fireplace and a one with a natural fireplace and a finished heated garage, $145,000 Lake Huron $15,900 finished heated garage, $145,000 commercial REDONE, this four bedroom home has been remodeled inside and ENJOY the SUMMER with this ENJOY the SUMMER withwith this a LAKE HURON HOME LAKE HOME Home with out ais with new windows, shingles, FantasticHURON Sandy Beach! Fantastic Beach! Point Homewith ispump, furnace, hot water tank, at the tipSandy of AuSable at the tip of views. AuSable Point inside, withand more. Detached garage is phenomenal Redone phenomenal views. Redone inside,28x40, has a half bath and the two new baths, laundry, hardwood two new baths, laundry, hardwood floors, fireplace, completely tasteheater for the heated in ground floors, fireplace, completely taste-in fully furnished, ready to move fully furnished, ready to move in swimming pool, $79,900 and enjoy! NOW $299,900 NEW LISTING 30 ACRES, Not and enjoy! NOW $299,900 47+ ACRES VERY PRIVATE NEW LISTING 30 ACRES, Not a drive by, the addition and updates a have drive by, the this addition andcozy updates made a nice three HUNTERS PARADISE have made this a nice cozy three bedroom home with a gas fireplace bedroom home with a gas fireplace in the family room, landscaped With good stands of Oak, Maple, inyard the and family room, for landscaped two decks outside enyard and twoThe decks outside enPine, Birch and Spruce, 3 hunting joyment. 30 for acres is wooded, joyment. 30 for acresponds is wooded, has threeThe areas and sevhas three areas for ponds and sevblinds, about 1 mile from Lake eral areas for hunting blinds, great eral areas with for hunting blinds, hunting lots of deer andgreat plenty Huron $129,900 with lots of$132,000 deer and plenty NEW LISTING Large steel frame hunting of other wildlife NEW LISTING Large steel frame of other wildlife $132,000 7660 sq. ft. building currently a 7660 sq. ft.design building currently LAKE a& FRONT 3 ACRES on Elbow high-tech engineering high-tech designcompany. engineeringIndus& Lake, about 215 feet of sandy manufacturing manufacturing company. Industrial district, 1200 AMP Electric, beach, over 3 acres on 41 acre all trial district, AMP Electric, overhead door1200 allows a semi right sports lake. Driveway and electric overhead door allows aloading semi right in the main building, dock in main building, loading dock fortheforklift, upper and lower ofin, home site and path to the lake for forklift, upper1800 and sq lower offices, a separate ft cooler are cleared, ready for you to start fices, a separate 1800 sq ft cooler room was formerly use by a bevroom formerlycompany use by aisbeverage was distributing veryyour lakefront home $37,900 erage distributing company is very well insulated $150,000 well insulated $150,000 REDUCED Lake Huron Lakefront REDUCED Lake Huron ready to use right now!Lakefront Enjoy this ready use right now! Enjoycottage this two tobedroom, lakefront LAKEFRONT LISTING Beautiful 100’ two lakefront cottage withbedroom, a fireplace, that was remodlake frontage on all sports Van Ettan with fireplace, thatcarpet was and remodeled,a siding, new flooreled, new carpet and 100x245 floorLake. Newly renovated home with 2 ing siding, recently. Has a large ing recently. a large 100x245 wooded lot Has across the street. Locatbedrooms and 1 bath plus 2 cabins wooded across the street. Located justlot past the Marina, $169,900 for guests, the kids or rentals. Each ed just past the Marina, $169,900 LAKEFRONT CALLwith US FOR cabin has 2 bedrooms a bath. ThisTHESE AND OUR OTHER CALL US FOR THESE AND OUR OTHER GREAT LISTINGS property is priced to sell at $149,900 GREAT LISTINGS SUPERIOR CONDITION three bedroom brick ranch home located on a paved road close to town with 1.5 acres for privacy. Spacious living room has a fireplace with insert and a great view of the wooded backyard and patio. Three bedrooms with the full bath having a private entrance for the master bedroom, kitchen has plenty of cupboards and the large utility room was also used as a craft/family room has a wood heater. Low maintenance brick exterior, ready for immediate occupancy, priced well below True Cash Value, $109,000 ADJOINS the NATIONAL FOREST, make this lovely property your year around home, cottage or hunting camp. Two bedrooms, full bath, vaulted ceilings, fireplace has insert, tastefully decorated, very clean and tidy. Has a garage and 5 acres, this is within 10 minutes of 7 all sports lakes, Tawas Bay & Lake Huron $73,000 NEW PRICE, SUNRISE SUPRISE, Lake Huron views from this newer three bedroom, 2.75 bath 2600 sq.ft. home, featuring a great room, fireplace, library/music room, spa, lakeside deck, 6 car work shop with car lift and more, REDUCED to $129,900 NEW LISTING This four bedroom home has 1 1/2 baths, was redone with a new roof, vinyl siding, new drywall, flooring, doors and windows. Is in East Tawas, has a garage, a fenced garden area and is close to the Lake, priced to sell at $69,900 call us for these and our other great listings “There are only two things a child will share willingly – communicable diseases and his mother’s age.” – Benjamin Spock 54 • The Good Life - may 2012 www.thegoodlifepress.com Solution from page 26 the Good life Press Medium 6x6 (5) SOLUTIONS Sponsored by Sudoku 6x6 - Solution 5 of 5 - Medium 6 2 4 3 5 1 3 1 5 2 4 6 2 5 6 1 3 4 11 4 3 1 6 2 5 14 Computer & computer parts spring closeout sale 15 1 4 2 5 6 3 5 6 3 4 1 2 1 2 3 4 7 5 8 12 6 9 10 13 Complete Computer Systems as Low as $49.99 Keyboards $1.00 Standard $5.00 USB 16 17 $1.00 Standard 18 $3.00 USB Mouse Need Memory? We Have it Cheap! $1.00 Flat Screens as low 22 as $35.00 19 CRT 20 Monitors 21 We Fix Computer Problems • Free Estimates. Call Paul 989-340-090024AKA25 MICR/RO 26 23 www.sudoku-puzzles.net Solution from page 33 the Good life Press Hard 12x12 (5) 27 Randy McKinney National Rifle Association Certified Instructor Gift Certificates CCW/CPL Classes 989-739-5937 Oscoda, MI 48750 28 I thought one good thing about getting older would be 29 having more patience. Now30that I’m there, it’s not about patience...I just don’t give a hoot anymore. 31 Answer to Crossword 1 7 989-724-5599 Harrisville, MI 48740 l 2 3 G r a a 11 t 13 M e 16 19 4 c e U G H r e e a D e l s D We A Clean ccept Dry ing Bay D for Tawas ry Cle aners Sudoku 12x12 - Solution 5 of 5 - Hard 17 5 8 l M a 6 9 14 i s 21 r a G e 18 s 24 e s l i P H e e l Y 6 3 b 2 9 1 5 a 8 3 b 1 4 7 a 6 9 c 2 a 1 2 9 6 8 5 c b 7 3 4 5 7 c 1 b 9 a 4 2 6 8 3 4 6 9 a 5 2 3 8 c 1 7 b 3 8 b 2 c 6 1 7 5 4 9 a 9 2 8 7 4 c b 5 3 a 6 1 6 c a 4 8 1 9 3 7 2 b 5 b 3 1 5 a 7 6 2 8 c 4 9 7 a 4 c 2 3 8 1 9 b 5 6 2 9 6 8 7 5 4 b a 3 1 c 1 b 5 3 9 a c 6 4 8 2 7 the Good life Press Samurai - Puzzle 5 of 5 - Medium Y 22 s 25 7 5 Solution from page 6 Samurai Medium (5) 10 V c 23 M r a 15 4 www.sudoku-puzzles.net B o r 12 s M e 20 from page 18 c 8 26 6 3 2 1 4 9 5 7 8 5 8 9 6 7 3 4 1 2 7 1 4 2 8 5 3 9 6 9 7 1 5 6 2 8 4 3 8 2 5 7 3 4 1 6 9 4 6 3 8 9 1 7 2 5 5 8 9 6 4 3 1 7 2 3 1 7 2 5 9 6 4 8 4 2 6 7 1 8 5 9 3 2 6 8 1 9 4 3 5 7 1 7 4 3 2 5 9 8 6 9 5 3 8 7 6 4 2 1 a G i l e r a P i D Get Instant Prints up to 8”x10” with Our Sony Digital Photo Machine - 4”x6” Prints 29¢ each 27 28 Russell Stover Candies • All Occasion Cards M o l t B a s i N Mothers Day Candy and Cards 29 30 Get a Good Neighbor Pharmacy Prescription Savings Club Card a N D e s W i N c H 989-736-6895 989-736-8138Dave please note last month I changed the prize to $10.00 May’s prize is only $10.00 Y D 31 f l Nine ads to place Mom (Tim) (Shawn) 209 S. State, Oscoda, MI 48750 1. (989) 739-5000 2. * FREE Hoist Check 3. * FREE Road Test * All Trucks/4x4s * American–Foreign 4. * Automatic–Manual * Motor Homes 5. * Axles, Clutches & Flywheels 6. COMPLETE AUTOMOTIVE SERVICE AND REPAIR 7. 8. 9. (M. I. Thrifty) Come to our “Fill a Bag for $4.00” Back Door Yard Sale! Friday, May 18th 10 AM to 6 PM Saturday, May 19th 10 AM to 6 PM Re-Purposed, Collectibles & More Hours 10:00AM to 6:00PM Mon. - Sat. 11:00AM to 5:00PM Sunday We Buy, Sell and Trade 989-255-1384 Retro Steve & AlpenaJimmy 2579B US Hwy 23 South, Alpena Across ANSWERS TO “GUESS THE MOVIE 1. Elegance QUOTES” Alpena Agency 7. Express mirth from page 24 (Cross Roads Gloe page) 8. Toil Century 21 a/c p 1. Indian Jones and The Last Crusade (1989) 11. Forest Star Staffing a/c p 2. Pet Sematary (1989) Jack’s Landing h/c p 12. Talk irrationally 3. The Last Picture Show (1971) ABC homes color ad 1/4p 13.4. The Union general Matrix Reloaded (2003) Alpena Mall (Senior Page) 5.14. CloseLong Encounters of the Third Kind (1977) Island town McWilliams 6. Michael (1996) Look Insurance 15. Back part of the foot 17. Untidy 19. Anger 23. Nimble Confession It was about a month ago when a man in Amsterdam felt that he needed to confess, so went to his priest: “Forgive me Father, for I have sinned. During WWII I hid a refugee in my attic.” “Well,” answered the priest, “that’s not a sin.” “But I made him agree to pay me 20 Gulden for every week he stayed.” “I admit that wasn’t good, but you did it for a good cause.” “Oh, thank you, Father; that eases my mind. I have one more question...” “What is that, my son?” “Do I have to tell him the war is over?” a s 2 5 7 9 1 8 6 3 4 8 1 5 7 9 2 4 6 1 8 3 5 3 9 6 4 5 7 2 8 1 9 4 7 6 3 5 9 8 2 7 1 4 1 4 8 3 2 6 9 5 7 3 6 2 8 4 1 5 3 7 2 6 9 7 9 8 1 5 6 3 2 4 5 4 2 7 9 3 1 6 8 3 1 6 2 8 4 5 7 9 1 7 3 2 5 8 4 6 9 5 7 1 2 8 3 1 4 6 7 5 9 4 9 6 3 7 1 8 2 5 6 3 9 4 1 7 9 5 3 2 6 8 8 5 2 4 9 6 1 7 3 4 2 8 9 5 6 7 2 8 1 3 4 6 8 5 9 1 7 2 3 4 2 1 4 5 6 3 9 8 7 9 3 7 8 4 2 6 5 1 3 2 1 7 8 4 5 9 6 7 4 9 6 2 5 3 1 8 5 6 8 1 3 9 7 4 2 8 7 4 2 6 5 3 9 1 5 6 1 3 8 9 4 2 7 3 2 9 4 7 1 5 8 6 1 9 2 8 3 4 6 7 5 7 4 5 6 9 2 8 1 3 6 3 8 5 1 7 9 4 2 www.sudoku-puzzles.net My idea of a Super Bowl is a toilet that cleans itself. H Win $10.00 $10.00 Win Certificate! GiftGift Certificate! Congratulations to, April’s winner Barb Chojnacki of the May Flower Contest. Thank you to all that entered! This month your adventure is to find 9 (nine) Moms If you are the winner you have bragging rights. Mothers Day! Thanks Mom ! You can win our May prize of a $10.00 gift Certificate to Reylie’s Café in the Mall. Nothing to buy just play the game and find the 9 Moms hidden throughout “THE GOOD LIFE” Mail your answers to Alpenajimmy 6733 Lappan Rd. Alpena, MI 49707 or you can email a list to [email protected]. This is what we need the Name of the ad you found our hidden object in and the page you found the ad on. Also include where you picked up your copy of “The Good Life Press” Then include your name, address, phone #, and email so we can contact you if you win. Only one entry per person. The Mom picture above is for information and does not count. In case of a tie we will draw a name from the correct entries. ENJOY THE GOOD LIFE! All entries must be received by May 18, 2012 Share the Love and tell our advertisers you saw them in “The Good Life” The Good Life - may 2012 • 55 MOBILE HOME SALES AND PARTS All Homes Open Dawn til Dusk! 4220 U.S. Hwy 23 S. Alpena, MI 49707 Don’t believe everything you think. find “the good life press” on facebook Rentals Available in Alpena, Vanderbilt and Surrounding Areas (call for details) Fast Crossword Solution from page 20 A man spoke frantically into the phone: “My wife is pregnant and her contractions are only two minutes apart!” “Is this her first child?” the doctor asked. “No!” the man shouted, “This is her husband!” A picture is worth a thousand words, but it uses up three thousand times the hard drive space. The old farmer had a large pond in the back, fixed up nicely with picnic tables, a barbecue pit, horseshoe courts, and some apple and peach trees. The pond was properly shaped and fixed up for swimming when it was built. One evening, the old guy decided to go down to the pond and look it over. He hadn’t been there for a while. He grabbed a five gallon bucket to bring back some fruit engines A/C Shocks Struts Brakes & More Where Quality is Affordable Mon - thurs 8:00 - 6:00 Friday 8:00 - Noon Saturdays by Appointment only Phone 989-354-0787 Fax 989-356-3845 Give us a Call! 5540 US 23 North Alpena, MI 49707 Owners Andy Carpenter & Jeff Piper Andy’s Transmission Shop Your Complete Drive Line Service Center Transmissions • Transfer Case • Differential Axles • U-Joints • and More 10% DISCOUNT ON LABOR FOR MILITARY & SENIOR PATRONS Present Coupon Prior to repair - Valid through May 2012 Andy’s Auto Service Center LLC & Andy’s transmission • Alpena, MI In a hospital’s Intensive Care Unit, patients always died in the same bed, on Sunday morning, at about 11:00 AM regardless of their medical condition. This puzzled the doctors and some even thought it had something to do with the supernatural. No one could solve the mystery as to why the deaths occurred around 11:00 am Sunday, so a worldwide team of experts was assembled to investigate the cause of the incidents. The next Sunday morning, a few minutes before 11:00 am. all the doctors and nurses nervously waited outside the ward to see for themselves wha’t the terrible phenomenon was all about. Some were holding wooden crosses, prayer books, and other holy objects to ward off the evil spirits. Just when the clock struck 11:00, Pookie Johnson, the part-time Sunday sweeper, entered the ward and unplugged the life support system so he could use the vacuum cleaner. As he neared the pond, he heard voices shouting and laughing with glee. As he came closer, he saw it was a bunch of young women skinny dipping in his pond. As he approached, he made the women aware of his presence. A herd of buffalo can only move as fast as the slowest buffalo. And when the herd is hunted, it is the slowest and weakest ones at the back that are killed first. This natural selection is At once, they all went to good for the herd as a whole, because the deep end. One of the women shouted to him, the general speed and health of the whole group ‘We’re not coming out keeps improving by the regular killing of the until you leave!’ weakest members. In much the same way, the human brain can The old man frowned, ‘I did not come down here to only operate as fast as the slowest brain cells. watch you young ladies Now, as we know, excessive intake of alcohol kills swim, or to make you get brain cells. But naturally, it attacks the slowest out of the pond.’ and weakest brain cells first. In this way, regular consumption of beer eliminates the weaker brain Holding up the bucket, he cells, making the brain a faster and more efficient said, ‘I’m here to feed the machine. alligator.’ And that is why you always feel smarter after a Moral of the story: Old can few beers. (Which would sound plausible after a few beers...) Andy’s Auto Service Center LLC still think fast! Ne SUBSCRIBE for Just $24.00 $30.00 a Year!!! Year!!! Name________________________________ Street Address_________________________ City______________ State___ ZIP_______ Fill and enclose enclose your your check check or or money money order order for for Fill out out the the form form above above and $30.00 issues delivered delivered right right to to your your door. door. $24.00 to to get get 12 12 monthly monthly issues Send form and and payment payment to: to: Send form The Good Life Press, P.O. Box 92, Lincoln, MI 48742 feB12 MAR10 56 • The Good Life - may 2012 www.thegoodlifepress.com Timberline construction Custom-Built Storage Units Built On Site • Labor & Materials Included 10’ x 10’ $1,400 ROOFING 10’ x 10’ $1,100 When price and quality are more 8’ x 12’ $1,025 Maintenance-Free important than 10’ x 10’ $1,445 a one-day job, call Dan for a free comparison estimate. All work Serving All of Michigan • Compare & Save guaranteed. Limited lifetime warrantied shingles. Dan Gross, Licensed and Insured Builder (989) 736-6595
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