PDF - Landspeed Productions

2-17
3/16/07
11:36 AM
Page 14
What’s in a Name?
Just like horse racing and fancy dog
shows, there are some pretty wacky names
to be found in land speed racing. The
straight line racing crowd come up with
some of the most amusing, naughty, sometimes perplexing, and even snotty names
for their race machines.
Some have very clear meanings, others require a bit of thought and perhaps a
conversation with the owner about how
the sobriquet came about. Others are
intended to raise eyebrows and some beg
us to believe the owners are something
they are not. It’s all in good fun.
As a wordsmith, I take particular
delight in discovering new, clever additions. It sparks a curiosity about how the
name came to be, and just like walking a
cute little dog, causes strangers to chat
with you whilst petting the pooch, having
a snappy name for your machine will no
doubt spark spontaneous conversation.
For this month’s report I thumbed
through the pages of USFRA, ECTA and
SCTA listings of teams, cars and motorcycle racers looking for those sporting a
clever turn-of-phrase, amusing, and just
plain odd-ball nomenclature that characterizes not only the indomitable spirit that
resides within, but the vision through
which some seek speed, or simply pay tribute to the good time had by all out on the
salt.
Consider the “Grumpy Old Men”
lakester from West Virginia for a moment.
You might think the team was comprised
of bunch of surly sourpusses whose wives
were glad they left home regularly.
Wrong. Joe Law and his posse
were one not only one of the most talented, but most helpful teams on the salt.
Law’s lakester (now retired to a museum in
Florida) went faster on fewer cubic inches
than any of it competition with exposed
engines and conventional wing struts.
It made land speed racing history at
the 2003 Speedweek when rookie Tricia
Kisner drove it faster than any other
entrant – streamliners included. It was the
first time a lakester, let alone a woman and
more startling, a rookie, set top time of the
meet with a plus 300MPH run. To celebrate, Law permitted me to tape “Happy”
over the “grumpy” before they towed back
to the pits from the high-speed shut down
area.
“Sponsored by Social Security”
remains my absolute, all-time favorite racing sponsor followed by such declarations
of thankful truthfulness as: “Dad’s
Retirement”, “Friends”, “My Wallet”,
“My Kid’s Inheritance and My
Inheritance” and “#2 Son”,
I wonder about such sponsors as
“Baily’s Dangeroos Tree Removal”,
“Buttface Racing Enterprises”, “Yea,
Right!” and “Mad Duck Racing”, yet offer
these as additional ponderous names:
Do We Really
Want To Know?:
Hairball Racing
Grim Reefer
No Class Racing
Rolling Bones Race team
Yellow Salt Special
Wrecktem Racing
14 ❙ May.2007
Ivey Itch
Wasted Willie
You Tell Me:
To The Crucible
J.K. Fraundorfer Pickel
Shongo Tongo
Tri-pod
Mopete
Bogus Salt Racing
Rainmaker
We Have Been Warned:
The Guam Bomb
Meierle’s Madness
Warped Speed Racing
Evil Tweety
Wild Bros Racing
Goodfellow Crushers
Disorderly Conduct
Scavengers Car Club
Hand Tight Special
When I noticed “Just Glad To Be
Here”, it made me pause amidst the speed
and give thanks to God for the incredible
blessing of being present. It is also the
entry name for the vintage Studebaker.
Racers also perceive their land speed
efforts with a whimsical heart. Take a look:
Speed Dreamers:
Lead Foot Racing
Fast4Wrd Racing
Heady Endeavors
Grantsfantasy
Firepower
Leadfoot Racing
Team Too Fast
Rocket Science ‘34
Warp Speed Bandit
Head’s Up Performance
Motorhead Racing
Buzz’s Dream
Blithe Runners:
Run 4 Fun
Tom Thumb Special
Howey Doin
Hot Rod Heaven
Front Porch Racin’
Sum Fun
Zipper Racing
Speed Warriors:
Gladiator Performance
Turbinator
Blown Away
Bockscar
Hammer Time Racing
Race On Regardless:
The Blue Dent
Bucket of Bolts Racing
Chock Full O’ Nuts
Seldom Rich
Baling Wire Racing
Plan-B Racing
Manly’s Willit Run
Shoe String Racing
Borrowed Parts
Poor Plumber Racing
Blown Spoke Special
Some names are very accurate representations while others need a bit more
digesting.
Photos courtesy of the Landspeed Louise
Entertaining Edibles:
Peanut Special
Pepperoni Bros
Rice Fields Racing
Grreat Grrape
Tubby Racing
Chili Pepper Racing
One Six Pack to Go
Two Ton Racing
Then there is the salt fever crowd,
those folks who recognize as futile any
attempt to ignore the need for speed. They
have wisely, completely and utterly surrendered to the sport. Their lives are now better for having done so.
Salty Sayings:
Got Salt Racing
Salt Lick
Salt Shaker
Salt n’ Pepper
Dixie Salt Shaker
Salt 2 Salt
Saline Solution
Sherman’s Salty Six
Because they spend so much time
with them, men have developed a proclivity for thinking of their planes, boats, cars,
etc. as female. I have always found it amusing that guys depend heavily on the feminine nature of a machine, vessel or craft to
propel them into the respective action. No
other segment of motorsports welcomes
women the way land speed racing does and
nowhere do women regularly turn in world
class performances in excess of 300MPH.
Good Gals:
Bonneville Betty
Trophy Girl Racing
Bud’s Gal
The Redhead
McClain’s Swamp Witch
Don’t judge these folks by their titles.
Nancy and Jon Wennerberg are the riders
who make up the “Seldom Seen Slim” race
team and yet the jovial and personable
couple is often seen competing at SCTA,
USFRA and ECTA events. I get a big
chuckle out of the “So What Speed Shop”
name as it pokes good-natured fun at the
surge in “brand awareness” that has permeated the racing world.
Double Meaning Department:
Seldom Seen Slim Land
Speed Racing
Wretched Excess
Tee Time Racing
Lil Salt-T
Catt House Racing
Inpropria Persona Racing
Fly Rod
Don’t Confuse Them With Others:
So What Speed Shop
Lone Wolf Salt Racers
Wheel Tramps
Nanook LSR Racing
No Name Bike
Rogue Runner
My inspiration and hope for my
tomorrow are those who are undaunted by
the passage of years. Many of these “lost
youth” racers are a force to be reckoned
with and champion the fact they are still
vital in their golden years.
Oldies But Goodies:
Larry’s Old Volks Home
Ye Olde Dragon
Memory Lane Motors
Dinosaur Racing
Road’s End Gang Racing
Rigor Mortis Racing
Grandpa’s Truck
Avanti Kid
Vintage Hammer Special
Old Stud Racing
National pride has a spot on the salt as
well. Because land speed racing is worldwide in scope, that pride is reflected by
several countries.
Patriot Racers:
Star Spangled Banger
Patriot Missile
American Justice Racing
Yankee Engineuity
Double Duty Racing
Flying Kiwi
The American Eagle
Xtreme Freedom Special
Corporal Sam
Rocket Ranger
Land speed racing is not just for city
slickers. Plenty of country folk with an
“Aw Shucks” perspective, offer us insight
to their home life.
Rural Runners:
Barnyard Bomber
Kansas Twister
Hayseed Special
Thunder Chicken
Hoosier Pride Racing
Pigasus Racing
Prairie Drifters
For some, the racing machine is a
mechanical pet. Just like a real one, they
have to feed it (fuel), clean up after it (parts
breakage), exercise it (dyno pulls and timed
runs) and make sure it understands who
the master is (ha, ha, ha).
Fast Animals:
Bat Cave Performance
Mellennium Falcon
Red Dog Racing
One Trick Pony
Salty Dogs Racing
Full House Mouse
Blowfish
Little Thumper
Moose Tracks
Ratical
The Wombat
2-17
3/16/07
11:36 AM
Page 15
SPECIAL NOTE: I am
working on a special LSR
book that will feature the
top 30 salt racers of all
time. I want to make sure
I’ve got the right ones, so
if you have an opinion on
this, then please send
your list to me at:
[email protected]
Note: Photojournalist
Louise Ann Noeth is the
authoress of the awardwinning book, Bonneville:
The Fastest Place on Earth, a
complete historical review
of the first 50 years of land
speed racing now in its 6th
printing. For more details
and to order, go to:
www.landspeedproductions.biz
S E V E N T E E N T H
A N N U A L
PACIFIC COAST
DREAM MACHINES
ALL VEHICLES WELCOME
2000 MOTORIZED MECHANICAL MARVELS
VINTAGE • CLASSIC • EXOTIC & CUSTOM AUTOS
MOTORCYCLES • TRUCKS • HOT RODS • CUSTOMS
STREET MACHINES • MUSCLE CARS • DRAGSTERS • IMPORTS
LUXURY • TOURING & SPORTS CARS • LOW RIDERS
RESTORED WARBIRDS • CLASSICS • HOMEBUILT AIRCRAFT
MAGNIFICENT MILITARY AIRCRAFT
BI-PLANE & HELICOPTER RIDES
FASCINATING GAS ENGINES & STEAM TRACTORS
MILITARY TANKS • EXTREME TOYS
LIVE MUSIC • FOOD • KID'S AMUSEMENTS
SUNDAY • APRIL 29 • 10am–4pm
HALF MOON BAY AIRPORT
HALF MOON BAY • CALIFORNIA
Spectator Admission: $20 Adults · $10 (Age 11-17 & 65+)
Show Registration Fee: $30 ($35 after April 15)
Vendor Space Available
Info-Line: 650.726.2328 · www.miramarevents.com
TO BENEFIT
THE COASTSIDE ADULT DAY HEALTH CENTER
www.good-guys.com ❙ 15